Nobody's Baby (2001) Movie Script

Who's gonna
love a poor boy?
Who's gonna
love a poor boy?
She broke my heart down
in Baton Rouge
Down on
the Gulf Coast sand
I remember the night
when she cuddled me right
It was time
to plea my hand
Who's gonna
love a poor boy?
Who's gonna
love a poor boy?
Too short Saturday
on a bayou blue
On a hot
Mississippi night
She can make
a country boy's
dream come true
says she won't,
but you know she might
Yeah, yeah
Who's gonna
love a poor boy?
Do lord
do lord, oh do lord,
do lord, remember me
Do lord, do lord,
do lord, remember me
Do lord, do lord,
do lord, remember me
Way beyond
the blue
Do lord
do lord, do lord,
do lord, remember me
Do lord, do lord,
do lord, remember me
Do lord, oh do lord,
oh do remember me
Do lord, oh do lord
do remember me
police! Police!
Put your hands up!
Don't move!
On your face, motherfucker!
- Hey, let's go!
- Hands behind your back!
Hey! Don't go
postal on us!
Billy Raedeen?
How was your weekend?
- Something amuse you, Mr. Raedeen?
- No, sir.
You've been caught in the
commission of a federal crime,
punishable to the fullest
extent of the law.
Do you understand what that means?
- No, but if I could explain...
- your arrest record speaks for itself.
It starts at age nine,
with car theft.
"Backhoe," sir.
- I keep trying to correct that.
- Was it stolen?
No, the keys were in it.
Like the liquor store in '83?
The Buick Skylark in '84?
The K-Mart in '86,
the motorcycle in '88,
the pharmacy in '89, not to mention
what looks like dozens of drug possession,
public vagrancy charges,
topped off by breaking
and entering
a United States post office last night?
- We did have the keys.
- I can vouch for that!
- And we did not steal nothin'.
- Nope.
- Who is this man?
- We was readin' the mail.
- Quiet!
- Step forward.
Buford Dill?
Alias Buford Hill?
Meyer Gottnich?
No, no, no, sir.
I was trying to say,
"my, I got an itch."
A rectal...
Rectal situation, sir.
Quite acute.
Got a prescription drug.
- Is this man sober?
- As a judge, your honor.
See, your honor,
my friend here works as a mail carrier,
and he come across this photo
of a bulldog in a wedding dress.
We had a couple of beers,
a couple, and we got curious.
God is my witness, your honor...
It looked like...
The ugliest bride!
Every man's nightmare.
My wife come,
by the way? Tess?
- Did you call her?
- We did, your honor.
And what she say?
- With the court's permission?
- And?
She said, "screw him."
Out of 27 arrests between you,
19 have been together,
and I'm putting an end to it.
I'm recommending
10-year minimum sentences
in separate facilities
at opposite ends of the state,
any precondition
for parole being
that you never
see each other again.
You're allowed to make a statement.
You have one?
I took care of him all his life.
You've done
a piss-poor job of it.
He's a loser, just like you,
who'll never amount
to anything more
than a burden to the decent,
hardworking taxpayers of this state.
You have anything to say?
Just that you're wrong, sir.
I will amount to something.
Not me.
I'll be like you said.
Get them out of here.
"Screw him!"
- What did you say?
- Screw him!
Maybe I oughta stuff
that laugh down your throat.
- What?
- Bue, we're in enough trouble.
I ain't having no Indian
making fun of my wife.
She ain't even your wife.
- You want to do something about it?
- That's mighty great,
seeing as both my hands
is tied up in chains.
Hey, hey!
- Hey, get off him!
- Take the keys!
Get the keys!
The keys!
- Get the keys!
- In the van!
Get in the van!
Keys! Keys!
Bue, here! Here!
Come on, bue!
Get them, bue!
- Come on, come on!
- I'm coming!
I'm tied up, man!
Billy, Cactus Pie!
Cactus Pie!
- Bue!
- Cactus Pie!
- Cactus Pie?!
- Yeah!
Dear little Loozy,
I'm writing a letter to you
in my mind,
which I will memorize
until I find some paper
to write it down on.
I've written many
such letters in the past,
which are filed away in my mind,
to be summoned up word for word,
written down on paper,
and mailed
to the appropriate person,
at the appropriate time.
It's called
a photographic memory,
and to this point
it's failed me completely.
But this letter I'll remember
because it's the most
important one.
It'll explain your origins
on this planet earth.
- Who I was when we first met,
and how everything came to be.
Can you fix a tire?
I'll give you a ride.
Where ya headed?
You sure you got room?
One hand washes the other, pal.
This one opens the trunk.
- Hey!
- Don't let nothing fall out of there.
I'm deducting 10 miles
for everything out of place.
Here ya go!
- Bye-bye!
- Hey!
It's a story
about fate, dear one.
How no one can outrun it.
Like The Dog once said,
"you can change your ground,
but you can't change
your sky."
Though I hadn't met
The Dog yet, he was right.
'Cause that night the ground
was moving fast beneath me,
but the sky was standing still.
I also shared a dream
with Buford that night,
like I had on occasion
over the many years
we shared a jail cell.
I knew it was his dream because
the woman in it was Tess,
like he always talked
about her...
Hey, call the police!
Call the ambulance!
- Get out!
- I'm outta here! I'm not insured.
- Call somebody!
- Forget it!
Oh shit! Hey!
Oh Lordie, this is bad!
Hey, little guy.
I'm Billy.
Let's get you out of here, huh?
You're gonna be
all right, ma'am.
We're gonna get you outta here.
Believe me, I know it looks
bad, but it's gonna...
It's gonna get just
a little bit worse.
Would you wait here, please?
Bye, ma'am.
Buford would later say
my ass was a lethal weapon.
I mooned a family and...
Moments later, they were dead.
Jesus, kid!
I soon learned that my ass
wasn't the only lethal weapon.
Oh, that's nasty.
Don't you shit in my Megadeth.
One of the things
about that night was
it wasn't the first night
I've been shit out of luck,
hungry, cold, wet, and alone.
Now, now,
it's all right.
It's just Wile E. Coyote.
It was the first such night
I didn't feel lonely.
Beep beep!
Beep beep!
You ever see them cartoons?
Yes! Yeah!
Another thing
about fate, dear one,
the people who change it,
seem to appear by accident.
That's how we met Shauna-Louise.
Loozy for short.
A name you'll have reason
to remember
for the rest of your life.
- You open?
- Just barely.
You got food?
I wouldn't advise the burgers,
our refrigeration broke down
- except for the cold drink case.
- That's real pretty.
Our pie's all right.
That sounds good.
So what about kangaroo?
In your pouch?
Pie, I guess.
- I would think milk.
- Make it two.
Do you want it warmed?
Yeah, that would be good.
Pie and warm milk, guy?
Sit anywhere you like.
Come on, catch it.
Come on, you can catch... yeah.
Here it comes.
He's going to be
a baseball player.
- If he ever learns to catch.
- Is that right?
Got to grow up
big and strong, though.
You normally use utensils
with that baby?
It's never too early
to learn manners, I say.
Why don't you try
using your fingers?
Babies that age like to suck.
All right.
I'll tell you what,
when I woke up this morning,
I had no idea this would be
the result of my day.
Yeah, my friend just had one.
Says they can suck so hard
they make your insides curl up.
- Say, who's baby is this?
- This baby?
- Mine.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Where's the mother?
Oh, that's...
That's a whole other problem.
What, she took off?
In the end there,
I actually think she did.
Well, that's too bad.
That baby needs a breast.
A bottle, anyways.
He's not gonna get
enough milk like that.
Come here, here you go.
Here you go.
Come on guy.
You can do it.
Oh no, I wouldn't do that.
Here. Come on.
Hey, hey.
- You are hopeless.
- I agree.
Any idea where I can get
one of them bottles?
There's an all-night
market in Henderson.
- I got no car.
- You've got no car?
Or money. Sorry.
You walk around
in the middle of the night
with a baby tucked
into your pants,
you got no food for it,
no money, no mother,
no bottle, no car?!
You are one sorry-ass mess!
I would have to agree.
Shh, come on.
He likes me to hold him.
- God knows why.
- Hey.
- All right, what's your name?
- Billy Raedeen.
Well, you listen to me,
Billy Raedeen.
I don't let any man in my car
I don't know,
except for the sake
of this baby.
- If you turn out to be bad guy...
- now...
How could I be a bad guy, huh?
- Exactly.
- That's what I'm thinking.
Babies can't be that stupid.
Dog once told me
the journey of 1000 miles
begins with a single step.
He was right again.
'Cause all I'd intended
was to find Buford that day,
but by nightfall...
My entire world was changing.
Yup. It belonged
to the guy
who knocked her up,
may he rot in hell.
He's a rodeo cowboy.
Is she up this hour?
She works at clubs,
she doesn't get home till now.
- It's me.
- It's open.
- Hey, Loozy!
- I'll take another.
Hit me.
Hit me!
Verne was here.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, in his usual
cheerful mood.
- He kicked Jack.
- And then, what,
- do I go face up?
- No, not unless he splits.
- Oh.
- I'm teaching her to deal.
Uh-huh, something
to fall back on.
What did he say?
That I don't kick high enough.
Can you believe
that little faggot?
- He's laying the groundwork to fire me.
- No, I mean Verne.
- Was he angry?
- Verne, angry?
Well, hi there.
This is Billy Rayburn.
Estelle, Stormy,
Dog Havasu.
- Raedeen.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi.
His baby needs some milk.
The mother took off.
They've been on the road all night.
It's gone.
I tossed it.
The formula?
The pampers, the bottles,
the formula.
All of it.
Why not?
I don't know,
maybe someone could use it.
I'm supposed to know you're
dragging in a guy with a baby
in the middle of the night?
What am I, a mind-reader?
- I got to go.
- You toss it in the garbage?
- It's gone.
- Shit!
It does look kind of
pale, Estelle.
What do you want from me?
- What's it's name?
- Billy.
You must give it a name
that means something.
- I'll try to think of one.
- How about "thirsty one"?
No, how about those?
- Get out of here.
- You threw away the bottles.
- Forget it.
- The lips are puckering.
I'd pay for some, ma'am.
- I really would.
- This is so fucked!
Come on, Estelle.
What's the big deal?
I'm not a milk cow
for fuck's sake.
I'm taking...
I'm taking medicine to dry up.
It's not working.
- I'd be much obliged.
- Why don't you shut up?
Who the hell invited you
here anyway?
Why don't you just shut up
and get out!
Yes, ma'am.
And give me the goddamn baby.
Yes, ma'am. Here.
Now get out.
I said, get out.
All of you.
I'll stay.
- I'm sorry.
- Forget it.
Well, good luck with your baby.
- Good night.
- Right.
The, uh...
The old guy.
He's... he's her...?
He's my old guy.
And the fella who drove in?
You know, when you live
this close to people,
you mind your own business.
Which reminds me,
I got to find a place.
For the night, anyway.
Well, no one's come
to claim that one yet.
They found a couple dead in it.
Looks like a dream house to me.
We all got our dreams.
Yeah? You?
- Oh, yeah.
- What?
I want to help Dog build
a tepee out of bottle caps.
We spend our weekends
collecting them.
No kiddin'?
That... that's great.
I'll keep an eye out.
As much beer as I drink,
you could build
the empire state building.
What happened to her baby?
She gave it away.
What's she got to give a baby?
Cactus Pie!
- Bue, is that you?!
- Hang on.
- Yeah?
- Bue?
Hey, Billy boy!
You made it!
- Across the Nevada line.
- All right!
- I got a baby, Buford.
- Hey, good going!
Where did you score it?
- I don't know what to do with it.
- Is it a good one?
- What do you mean?
- What do you think, man?
Oh, no, no, no.
Not this one, bue.
- Why not?
- It's got no folks.
There's got to be
someone who wants it.
You didn't.
I didn't.
Why, is it ugly?
No, it's not ugly
at all, Buford.
Well, there you are.
That's a start.
We'll make something out of it.
- Where are you?
- Henderson trailer park.
Henderson, that's out by Tess.
Check your bus schedule, boy.
- I'm on my way!
- All right.
Hey, I got us a place though.
Two people died in it.
Stupid dog!
I'm sick of this shit!
Don't you ever push me!
If you would just
go get it, all right?!
Louise, get up.
I'm not going to hurt you.
They will make love now.
Your son.
The thirsty one.
- He was in an accident?
- Why?
She opened his pants
to clean him,
- and found the injury.
- What injury?
- The bruise.
- Well, how bad?
- His penis came off.
- What?
Either that,
or he never had one.
I don't know
what your story is, mister,
but your son is a daughter.
- What?
- Your boy is a girl.
- It's a girl?
- Not a doubt in my mind.
No wonder he couldn't catch.
And so, sweet thirsty thing,
I told strangers that night
how you came into my life.
And that I was a wanted man,
all by way of asking advice.
The woman, Estelle,
suggested I take you
to a hospital
and run away real quick,
or leave you on the steps of the
church in the desert, nearby.
And the man called Dog,
who was a trained
satellite dish installer,
and dreamed of making the world's
first tepee out of bottle caps,
said he'd consult
with his spiritual advisors.
But I was thinking
Buford was right.
Everybody's got to have
somebody who wants them.
And I determined to help you
find your own kin.
Bus 64, final destination,
Palm Springs.
It'll be ready
for boarding in 15 minutes.
- Hey, bue.
- Hey.
How you been?
Got any money?
- What did you do?
- My asshole's itching so bad,
I'm ready to take Brillo to it.
- You going to see a doctor about that?
- I just need some chapstick.
Hey, look! Look at that.
It's them.
- Name and everything.
- You got any money?
- Ma'am, you got any chapstick?
- Uh, sure.
The car crash I pulled
the baby from,
- but the weird thing is...
- We got cherry,
- mint, strawberry...
- I don't give a damn.
You will when it's on your lips.
- Not on these lips.
- Car crash I pulled the baby from?
Look at that,
it's them right there.
Name and everything.
There you go.
The weird thing is,
it says, "entire family,"
but they don't mention the baby.
Even the neighbors say,
"they were a lovely couple
with a loving, beautiful
six-year-old daughter."
A six-year-old daughter.
You used a whole one?
Hold it between my cheeks.
Feels better?
No one's looking for this child.
It's like this baby don't exist.
- What baby?
- Oh, shit!
No, no, miss!
Oh, god. Thank you!
- This your baby?
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
- Sorry my ass!
- Well, I had to...
What in the hell
is wrong with you?
Drugged out?
You dumb-shit motherfucker.
Leave a little baby
on a bus bench like that.
You ought to get
what you deserve,
and have it stolen away
from you.
You interested?
We're selling it.
Probably are, assholes.
Hey, make us an offer.
- We're not selling it.
- The hell we're not.
No, I've got names here.
We're going to find the relatives.
Yeah, we ain't giving it
to them free.
- Whose baby is this?
- It ain't yours.
- It ain't yours.
- Did I not spring you from jail?
Oh yeah, some spring.
Have I not taken care
of you your whole life?
We're partners.
It's half yours and half mine.
You can have
the half that shits.
It turns out your uncle Buford
arrived just in time,
little one.
'Cause when you're
flat out of money,
he has a special way
of shopping.
Somebody stop those guys!
Whew! Whew!
Hey, we're calling the police!
Hey, bue, it's ringin'.
Here, take this.
Is this the Santana residence?
Are you the family of the folks
who had that terrible
accident on the interstate?
You are?
I got some good news
for you, ma'am.
- Tell them you'll kill it.
- I saved the little one.
- That is the good news.
- And the bad news is, he'll kill it.
No, I know that, ma'am.
I'm talking about the baby.
And he'll wring
its scrawny little neck,
if you don't put
$100,000 in an envelope...
Hello? Hello?
Man, they hung up.
She don't want the baby.
Maybe it's a bad one.
- Like Damien.
- No, no, no.
- Something's wrong here.
- No, shit there's something wrong.
This thing just puked
like a slush gun on me.
Hey, what did I tell you?
Were it green?
- It's red.
- Red?!
- Oh, Jesus.
- Watch out.
There it goes again.
Oh, man! Look!
Hey, hey.
- Yeah, that's a French fry.
- French fry?
Yeah, the red part is ketchup.
You gave this baby
French fries and ketchup?
They're no damn good
without ketchup.
You made her sick.
You made her damn sick.
She was reaching for it.
I was just helping it out.
Baby! She's choking!
- What do I do?!
- Call 911!
There's a clinic!
- Down the alley and to the right!
- Oh, my god!
Shit, 911!
Could you watch our stuff?
- There, a sign!
- This don't look good for us, Billy boy.
- Going into a clinic...
- No shit, Buford!
You're a wanted man!
Just throw it in!
Somebody help, please!
My baby's not breathing!
Down the hall!
- Help!
- Oh lord!
Get the hell
out of there, Billy!
- Okay, what happened?
- Um...
Any recent illnesses?
Any indication of allergy?
- Speak to me!
- Uh...
Had a fall of any kind?
- Ingest anything?
- Huh?
- Swallow anything?
- It was trying to bring something up.
- It?
- Her, she!
- Can I do something?
- Yeah, get security.
- Hal!
- Come over here.
Keep her mouth open.
Come over here.
Hold her mouth open.
Little fingers.
Now, close your mouth
around it so you don't drool.
- Straight down.
- Do you need me?
Stand by. Straight down.
Straight down.
Okay, here we go.
I know, I know.
I know.
You did great.
You did great.
You're fine.
You're going to be fine.
What's your name?
Any ideas?
- Tonsils?
- It's pepperoni!
Another minute
and she would have been dead.
You know what
I would have written
on the death certificate
as the cause?
- Pizza?
- Don't be messing with me, mister.
It falls under the same
category as child abuse,
and I would be within my rights
- to file charges right now.
- Jesus.
- Here you go.
- So...
I want some answers, Billy.
They better be truthful,
because we have the right to
repeat these same questions
with you hooked up
to a lie detector.
- Where's the mom?
- Of the...
Right. Well, she...
- Took off.
- Took off?
- Mm-hmm.
- And she didn't want the baby?
It was kind of a messy
situation in the end there,
and finally I felt
I had to pull the baby out.
- She allowed that?
- Well, no.
She was actually quite
crushed at the time.
Very broken up.
And this is the god's truth.
I'll give these same answers
on a lie detector test anytime.
- Excuse me, doctor?
- No, thanks, Hal.
Thanks, Hal.
My name is Bennet.
I teach a class
for first-time parents
here at the hospital
on Wednesday afternoons.
This is your first, I assume.
- You could tell?
- I'm going to need some information.
Okay, how old?
Oh, her.
She's just a baby.
- What, six, seven months?
- Exactly.
When's her birth date?
- June?
- Unbelievable.
- Well, it's my field.
- Guess the date.
- Why?
- It's your field.
- 30th?
- Now that is unbelievable.
You're good. Wow.
What do you think of that, huh?
June 30th.
You like that?
- Thank you.
- You were very lucky.
And what is her name?
- Shauna.
- Nice.
- Shauna what?
- Shauna-Louise...
Shauna-Louise Raedeen.
Sounds good.
Okay, I'm going to need
to get a picture.
No, face me, please.
All right, good.
This will start a file.
I want to see you here at noon
on Wednesday for the first class.
You need to fill that out.
I need your name, address, phone number,
- then sign at the bottom.
- Where? Where do I?
Where it says father.
Now here's a note, dear one,
on the importance of papers,
signed at the bottom,
neat as you can.
No, William.
Sounds better.
Anything worthwhile
in this life requires them.
William Raedeen.
- How is she?
- Much better now.
- What was it, croup?
- Pepperoni.
Do you happen to know
when father's day is?
- Uh-uh.
- I don't want her to miss it.
Take care of her.
From now on,
we order straight cheese.
You're in deep shit, boy.
You know what this
baby could get you?
Her name is
Shauna-Louise, Buford.
Her birthday's June 30th.
Kidnapping across state lines.
Add that to post office burglary,
you know what you'd get?
Buford, they gave me
papers on her.
Say I'm the father.
Yeah, well I say get rid of her
before they hang your ass.
But I couldn't part
with you, little one.
And thus, we became part
of a new family.
Strangers really.
Some stranger than others.
In particular a fella named
Laverne Gacey.
He drank a lot
and made his living
renting out houseboats bought
for him by his rich mama in Reno.
I sensed from the beginning
he didn't like us much.
But we did our best
to get along.
I'd be an eagle
and shit on all of you.
I'd be a lion,
take no shit from nobody.
I'd be a dolphin
cause they're kind and gentle.
And slimy.
I'd live in outer space.
Just float around and...
Float around.
No one would bother me.
No police.
- No bills to pay.
- What about oxygen?
- I wouldn't need none.
- What about black holes?
Yeah, right,
black holes.
Speaking of which,
can I use that chapstick?
- Yeah, but I want it back.
- Oh, you'll get it back.
What about you?
What would you be?
Just me, I guess.
Things feel pretty good
to me right now.
No money, no job,
no place to live.
I guess what you dream of
is being a loser.
What about thirsty one?
What are her dreams?
To be a movie star.
No. I think
she just dreams
of staying right where she is.
I believe you're right.
Wake up here on her first
birthday, June 30th.
Her second, the same date.
Her third, her 16th.
If she wakes up in your arms
on her 16th birthday,
you're going
right to jail, mister.
She belongs to me, you know.
Hospital papers say
I'm her father.
She don't belong to you,
you dumb-ass.
And if she did,
it'd be one sorry life.
I'll drink to that.
- Well, excuse me.
- A child deserves better.
What's he got to give a child?
You ever think of that?
Let's start with money.
For clothes, and toys,
and schools, and books,
and babysitters.
And doctors, and bikes,
and piano lessons,
and braces on her teeth,
and camp in the summer,
and coats in the winter,
and a uniform for marching band.
Them cost $60 each.
Not to mention college.
And besides the money,
it takes devotion.
- Now that I got.
- You don't got shit.
Or a pot to piss in.
Yeah? Well,
he's got a heart.
And a hard on for you.
You know what?
That's uncalled-for.
What am I, blind?
"Help me. Help me."
I'm in the dark, here.
I can't see!
You think I'm really fooled
by this gitchy-gitchy goo shit?
"I want to wake up
in your arms."
This motherfucker
comes on my boat,
- and I got to watch this shit go down?!
- Chapstick.
My eucalyptus stings.
Is something funny?
Is something funny?!
Who, me?
- Who am I talking to?
- Slow down, Verne.
- Nah.
- Slow down!
Breathe deep.
Look at the sky.
No, you look at the fucking sky!
This piss-ant comes on my boat,
makes a pass at my woman
and laughs at me.
- Did I miss something?
- No, you're just in time.
Stand up, toad.
- Stand the fuck up!
- Which toad you talking to?
You want a piece of me, too?
I'll take you both on.
Come on, yeah.
Hey, wait a second.
Wait a second, mister!
- Hey! Whoa!
- Motherfucker!
- You want to go?!
- Hey, look, look.
Whoa, wait, look.
We're not... we're not interested
in taking anybody on.
You come on my boat,
fuck with my woman...
fuck with your woman?
Did you say something
about fucking my woman?!
If I could get off your boat right
now, I would.
- I can't swim, all right?
- Yeah, he can't swim.
Your boy can't swim, huh?
Maybe it's about time
you fucking learned.
- Verne!
- Oh my god!
- Stop him!
- Open the door!
Open the door!
Open the door!
Jesus Christ!
- What the...
- Shut up!
- Give me that baby!
- Shut up!
What do you think you're doing?!
- Give me...
- a man gets in over his head.
- No!
- Got to learn how to swim!
No! Somebody help!
- Get the baby!
- Billy!
That a boy, Billy!
You're getting the hang of it!
Loozy, it's a horse race
and you're winning!
- Hold on, baby!
- Let's go!
Son of a bitch!
You evil piece of shit!
Get the baby!
Is she breathing?!
- I don't know.
- Get this thing off her!
Oh, shit!
- It's Jack!
- You fuck!
- You fucker!
- Fuck!
Now, is this a party or what?!
You fucker!
Jesus Christ!
It's a curse on us.
Let's leave it on some
church steps somewhere,
and get the hell out of here.
She's got the same name as you.
You know that?
Little Loozy.
What do you see in him?
Don't name her that.
Don't name her anything.
She's not yours to name.
Estelle is right.
Your buddy's right.
Take her somewhere,
and get your meddling ass out of here.
- Billy, hey!
- What is it?
Come on! Come quick!
It's on right after
the commercial!
- What's going on?!
- Stormy, come on!
Hurry up!
- Quick.
- What is it?
I think this is your baby
they're talking about.
And they're looking
for some shady lawyer.
- What lawyer?
- What's going on?
- What are you talking about?
- I wrote it down.
Adoption scam.
"Local couple duped
in adoption swindle."
There's a lawyer who took cash
for some baby
that's disappeared.
These is bank words, boy!
Cash! Adoption!
Somebody wanting our baby!
And wanting it bad.
- Hey, look.
- Last thing we knew
it was on its way
from Albuquerque.
Being driven by a courier.
And when it didn't arrive,
we called the lawyer
and found out his phone
had been disconnected.
- And you'd given him money?
- It's not the money, it's the baby.
I mean, my wife is...
My wife has been
so eager, you know?
- And that's why we didn't...
- This guy looks familiar.
- Hey, shh!
- Did this lawyer seem legitimate to you?
Yes, he sent us
these adoption papers
with a space here
to write our names in,
that's signed by the Attorney
General of the state.
I was going to put it
in this frame.
- How did this lawyer...
- Pinkney Pontiac, am I right?
Pink slip Pinkney.
Yeah, he works the clubs.
He finds somebody
losing big at the tables,
makes a quick cash deal for
the pink slip on their car.
Pays them, you know,
half of what it's worth,
then he finds somebody
winning big
sells them the car,
fast as he bought it,
for twice what he paid.
That's a good scam!
It's wrong, you ask me.
How many times
you been arrested?
Not for taking
advantage of losers.
That's the beauty part. Couple of
losers about to take advantage of him.
Forget it.
I don't like him.
- Oh, he don't like him.
- He's a big dummy.
He's a big,
rich dummy who wants what we got.
This is a human being
we're talking about here.
I understand that, Billy,
but if we got to give it back.
- Who says we got to, huh?!
- The state says!
The Attorney General!
He's got the adoption papers!
Pinky pink slipney.
- He owns the damn thing!
- Yeah, but I named her, damn it!
And I decided her birthday!
...she's been with
the detectives all day.
Look in the yard!
Is that a swing set I see?
That's why I did it, Billy.
The social worker made me see
it'd be selfish not to give
it the best life possible.
He's a big dummy.
- The kid'll survive that.
- Amen.
- What will you pray for?
- What would I pray for?
That this child
is alive and well.
And somehow finds its way home.
And sir,
what would you pray for?
I just pray
that I can find a way
to take some of my wife's
sadness away.
Oh lord, Normie.
Your prayers have been answered.
Now remember, $25,000,
not a penny less.
You tell him you want it
in one lump sum
or you're delivering
that baby in installments.
You'll chop it up!
And look crazy.
- Your teeth...
- Is that him?
- Yeah, that's him.
- Looks dumber than he did on TV.
You want me to do it?
'Cause I'll do it.
I got to see if he's fit.
$25,000, not a penny less,
- or you'll chop it up.
- Chop it up.
Now look mean.
Jesus Christ!
Looks like you could use
a car, son.
- Pinkney?
- Yes, I am.
I got a honey here for you.
Mint condition.
Owned by some oil sheik
who got unlucky at the tables.
Had to swap it for quick cash.
What I did to him,
you can do to me.
Want the Vaseline?
Here, I'll bend over.
- I got the baby.
- You want this baby?
- Sold! It's yours!
- The baby you adopted. I got it.
- Say what?
- I got the baby!
I see.
- You want more money?
- $25,000.
You give that boss of
yours a message from me.
Fool me once, shame on you,
fool me twice, shame on me.
See, this is a used car lot.
Those security cameras
are taking nice,
close-up pictures
of you right now.
That truck you come out of?
I'm sure we got the
license plate on film,
which easily gives us an address
and telephone number.
I'll bet we got the face of that
idiot sticking out of there.
- 10,000 would be fine.
- Be fine with me, too.
'Cause that's what I paid.
And I want it back. Cash.
One lump sum and we call
this thing even.
I tear up those photos
and you go on free.
- You don't want the baby?
- Never did.
My wife did.
But for the same money,
I'd as soon have an Evinrude.
I saw a honey of a 200-horse.
This is a honey of a baby.
It's cute,
it's in great condition,
it's not fat...
- does it shit in its pants?
- Yeah, but...
Evinrude don't,
- and you don't got to send it to college.
- Listen, I'll chop it up.
I'll kill it.
That's just silly,
isn't it, boy?
Teeth blew it?
I don't know about that,
just silly, that's all.
You listen to me, son.
You got 48 hours,
you understand?
Now you tell
that shyster lawyer,
motherfucking boss of yours
to put that money in your hand,
and you put it in mine,
or I'll have your face
plastered on every front page
of every newspaper,
every post office wall,
police station and telephone
pole from here to Chickeesaw.
Where exactly is Chickeesaw?
You know where
the sun goes down?
That solid black line
it sinks behind?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's Chickeesaw.
- 10,000, huh?
- And we're even.
I'll even throw in
the adoption papers.
- You will?
- Shit yeah.
- And the frame.
- The frame?
How did it go?
- Come on, man, how did it go?
- I don't know.
He go for the 25?
- He said 10.
- He'll pay 10?
He wants 10.
He wants 10?
That's what he paid.
He wants it back.
He don't want that baby, Buford.
He never did.
He wants an evinrude.
Fuck him!
Did you tell him you'd kill it?
- I did.
- What did he say?
That he got our faces
and license plates
on his security camera,
and he'll give us 48 hours
to get the cash or he's
calling the police.
So what do you think?
I don't think the meeting
went very well.
I don't think the meeting
went very well at all!
That baby just done us again!
- I want to buy it.
- Huh?
I want to buy the baby.
Have you lost
your fucking mind?!
We've got 48 hours to disappear!
- No one wants this baby.
- Including me.
- So you won't help me?
- No way!
What if I make it
worth your while, huh?
We steal $50,000.
You keep all of it but 10.
We hold up a jewelry
store, rob a bank...
For a million,
you keep it all but 10.
You'd do a job like that?
I know I never agreed to before,
but I never had a reason
that made it feel right.
That judge was wrong.
You raised me up good
to know right from wrong.
And I know this is right.
From the moment
I laid eyes on that baby,
I knew it was meant to be mine.
And you know who's going
to be the first one
to get a picture of her
high school graduation, huh?
- Me.
- That judge.
That judge who said I'd
never amount to anything,
he gets the first one.
Make the second one mine.
Hey, how about casino?
No way.
They're just waiting
for rubes like you.
That's what she said
about banks.
How about dog groomers?
- What are you looking for?
- Places to rob.
I got to come up
with $10,000, fast.
Oh, well, I know an easy 20.
Look under the p's.
Peerless pawn.
Eew, what's this hair
doing on my good moisturizer?
This really rich guy
lost a bundle
at tables last night,
and parked his wife's
jewels at a pawn shop.
And the night manager
there just happens
- to be a friend of mine.
- Yeah, so?
So, he is willing to be held up
at gunpoint
for $1,000 in advance,
and half of what you get
for fencing the goods.
- Good scam.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- But you got to use a gun
and shoot a hole in the wall.
Hurry it up,
'cause I ain't
the only one who knows.
Tell him we're in.
Wait, where do we get the 1,000?
Can you advance us?
Oh, let me see.
You know what?
That would be a big
fat fucking no way.
Hey, wait a minute.
I could get it.
Tess still owes me
for the plumbing.
That house wouldn't have a pipe in
it, if it weren't for me.
- Tess ain't going to give you...
- she better, damn it.
Or I'll... I'll rip the pipes out
and the toilet along with it!
Then where would she be, huh?!
Her and her fancy fella.
Shitting in the desert.
Buford, we don't got a thousand,
- and we don't got a gun.
- It's just as well.
'Cause you two would fuck it
up, anyway.
Are you encouraging
these lunatics?
Hey, she's got a gun.
Well, actually,
it belongs to Verne.
But he doesn't seem
to be here right now, does he?
Let's go.
You tell the night
watchman you got your boys.
We'll get you
the cash... tomorrow.
We're in.
Good luck to you.
I'll get that money.
Or I'll rip out that damn toilet
and the septic tank
along with it!
- You all right?
- Can you go away, please?
I got to ask you something.
Come to the window.
How many outfits you think
a little girl needs?
I was thinking two...
One for school,
and one just to get dirty in...
- Three.
- Three?
- What's the third?
- Church.
Oh, right.
I guess you should do
that if you have a child.
- Would you?
- I don't know.
I'm leaving soon...
With the baby.
I wondered if you'd like
to come along?
I mean, I'd take care of it.
You wouldn't...
You wouldn't have to be
the mother or anything.
I'm sure you want
children of your own.
I don't know.
If anybody hit my daughter...
I'd kill him.
If anybody touched my
daughter, I'd kill him.
Why do you let him?
Do you see that cactus
over there?
The big one?
I envy it.
Not needing to be touched.
I want you to come with me.
Go to church on Sundays.
Set a good example.
I do.
- Buford?
- Hmm?
- Buford!
- What?
Look, it's right there
in the window.
Man, look at that guitar.
- I want that guitar.
- Forget the guitar,
- you can't play the guitar.
- I could if I had that guitar.
Hey, you think that's him?
I'll find out.
Hey, hey, buddy?!
Hey, we're planning
to rob this place
- are you the guy we talked to?
- Jesus, Buford!
If ain't him,
he's just gonna say no.
- What did he say?
- I...
Sorry, my friend here's
been drinking a bit.
- We're Stormy's friends.
- And?
And we're on our way
to get the 1000.
Shut the fuck up, man!
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- See, he ain't the guy.
Don't be seen talking to me.
Who said you could come talk to me?
- Somebody could hear you out here.
- Right, right.
Is that the way
to the interstate?!
- Is it that way?!
- Get the fuck out of here!
All right, we're cool, man!
- All right!
- Jesus, Buford!
If we pull this off, I hope you take
your money and go very far away.
Oh, we'll pull it off.
Hey, I've raised you this far.
We're going all the way!
Where did I go wrong?
You know I've never
had a clue
I must have just been
born no good
Bad's the best
that I can do...
Buford, wake up!
Is this it?
'Cause it's just
my fate in life
To end up here
this way
Lost and all alone...
All right.
Can I ask you a question?
With or without the hat?
The only place
I ever stayed
There's a face
out in the crowd
that looks like trouble.
Esther Dill!
You send these?
Yeah, I sent them.
How do I arrange
to never see you again?
Pay me for the plumbing.
And you'll never come back?
Not if you begged me.
That's a thousand!
- What's the extra?
- For the next lifetime.
We had our fun though,
didn't we, Tess?
She just...
Did you get it?
I think she hates me.
That's all I can conclude.
That was a bad day
for Buford, little one.
I remember, it was a Saturday.
Because Sunday was the
worst day of my life.
...the beautiful,
beautiful river
Crawls from
the throne of god.
Sir? Sir?
Excuse me?
- Can I ask you a question?
- Jesus Christ, man.
What are you doing?
The whole point of passing the thing
was so people wouldn't
see us talking to each other.
Oh, right!
Now you'll have to wear masks.
Will you do that, please?
So if you get caught,
nobody can say,
- "he knew the guy."
- We won't get caught, sir.
So far, you've been
fucking up pretty good.
That guitar in the window.
Could I have it?
Well, you'll have
the gun, right?
- Yeah.
- Well?!
Oh, right!
Gimme that guitar!
- Bue, let's go.
- Man...
He's grumpy.
- Oh dear god.
- What?
Oh no, not now.
Who is that?
Fucking asshole!
- Who was that?!
- The ghost of Christmas past.
He's headed... you know
where he's headed.
- Let's go!
- Hurry up!
Am I stupid?
- How you doing?
- Okay.
She have the baby, yet?
Can't you tell?
Is it a boy or girl?
Which would you rather?
It don't really matter.
It's a girl.
Say, is she...
Look like her mother?
No, she looks a lot
like her dad.
- She's a cute kid.
- Thank you.
Hi, Estelle.
Jesus Christ.
You look beautiful.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Especially for a girl
who's just had a baby.
Two months ago.
It came early.
I wish you'd had a phone.
I'd like to have called.
I left plenty
of messages for you
till your number got changed.
I'm sorry.
My wife, well,
when she heard
your last message saying
- you wouldn't terminate...
- Yeah, I kind of thought
I might hear back
from you after that.
She left me after that.
We're not together anymore.
- Is that right?
- I've been thinking a lot
about you and the baby.
How hard it must be for you,
being alone.
And I came here to tell you,
I think a child deserves two
parents, don't you?
I haven't always acted like it,
but I've always liked children.
I mean, wanted a child.
Oh lord,
I know this is coming out badly.
Sonny, listen to me.
I didn't think you were ever coming back.
I'm so sorry.
Listen to me.
When a person
gives away a child
in this state,
they have 60 days to reconsider.
Estelle, you won't want
to reconsider.
This child will have
the best home
any child ever had.
I've got pictures
of my home in Lake Tahoe.
And Evaline...
Is the most loving woman
you will ever meet.
It wasn't easy for me to
tell her about the baby.
But when I did,
and about how hard it must be for you
working in a casino at night,
it brought tears to her eyes.
I've already started
a college fund.
I've got papers.
I could leave them with you,
or you could
sign them right now.
I'm really prepared
to take her at anytime.
Hey, hey!
Sonny came back for his baby.
He started a college fund.
Okay, Estelle,
just take it easy.
Maybe I oughta just take
hold of my little girl.
- What's going on here?
- That is not your baby.
You dumb son of a bitch.
- Your baby's gone.
- What are you talking about?
- This is mine!
- Like hell it is.
- It will be!
- He's paying $10,000.
- Over my dead body!
- Hey, this is not your baby!
Why don't you go back
to where you came from.
Loozy, you mind
your own business.
Let the little man
fight his own battle.
At least I don't
fight women like you.
You got her papers, right?
From the hospital?
Yeah, right here.
That's me.
And that's her heel print.
They got a Polaroid
picture on file.
Your baby was adopted, Sonny.
I gave it away.
To who?
Probably some dirt farmer
who'll be fucking her
by the time she's 10.
Shut your mouth.
It wasn't a girl, Sonny.
It was a boy.
Did it take after me?
It did seem to fill its
diapers, as I recall.
My fiance will be
very disappointed.
You could use that.
Good luck.
Have you got something
to settle with me, boy?
- Yeah, I do.
- What?
You touch her one more time,
I'm calling the cops.
That's interesting,
considering you're a wanted man.
And I know how
you got that baby.
- What if I call the cops?
- You just try it.
- Shut up.
- I'll call them right now!
- Just forget it, Billy.
- I will call them now!
- You will?
- Yes!
Well, let me give you a reason!
Take her away!
- Hey!
- You guys want to save her?!
Come on outside.
Come on outside!
Let her go!
You don't understand, Billy,
it makes her so hot.
Doesn't it?!
Does it make you hot?
You try to stop me,
she'll kill you!
- Would you shoot him?
- You take her!
- Don't do it! He'll kill you!
- Leave her alone!
Let me do it!
Get out of the way!
- Loozy?!
- What are you doing?
I'm teaching him a lesson.
He's done nothing
but mess with me,
since the day he came!
Verne, I'll kill him myself!
Get out of the way!
Stand away!
If you don't,
I'll get both of you!
Loozy! Loozy!
Let me in, honey!
Almighty god.
I don't know where else
to look for her.
I even went down to the boat
and they were getting real edgy.
Verne was supposed to take
out a day cruise at 3:00.
And they called his mama in
Reno to see if he was there.
She got all upset.
She's afraid someone kidnapped him.
Who'd want him?
Oh my god.
I think we're all going to
have to get out of here.
I've been wondering
if all this happened
'cause I gave my baby away.
And I been wondering,
if that kid
thinks he can do it,
why can't I?
Oh, man.
- Shouldn't we say something?
- Say something?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I'd just like to say,
- mmm.
As his soul leaves this earth,
I feel sorry
for whoever gets it.
Now, I don't advise
a life of crime, little one,
but we had the gun now,
a pair of masks
from Stormy's underwear drawer,
and with Buford in charge,
I was prepared to do
whatever it took
to make you mine.
We're getting there.
I can't see for shit.
You oughta push that up.
- She wear these?
- Somebody did.
Smells like a man.
We're here.
All right, let's go.
- There's people in there.
- They're taking the jewels.
- We're too late.
- No, no.
We're just in time, I'd say.
What about the people?
Just say,
"get your hands up."
What if they won't?
- "Hands up, or else."
- Should I wait here?
No, why don't you
take in a movie
and just drop by
when you feel like it?
- Of course, you should wait here!
- I thought maybe the alley,
beside the building.
There's a side door.
Fine! Whatever!
Let's go!
Who's going first?
- You go first.
- You got the gun!
- You go first.
- Shit!
Will you quite littering?!
- Nobody move!
- Hands up!
- Or else!
- Or else!
- What the fuck?!
- I thought they were you.
He's got a gun!
Bue, your ear!
- What?!
- It's off!
- I don't need it!
- But...
Drop them jewels!
Not the window!
Get that motherfucker!
Get the jewels!
Oh baby!
Oh sweetie!
And I want my thousand back!
Bue, don't shoot him!
He lost his gun!
I'll get him!
What the fuck?!
Don't move!
I got my guitar.
I love you, man.
I love you, too.
Get out of here.
They say the journey
of 1000 miles
begins with a single step.
What they don't tell you is
it ends that way as well.
Mr. Pinkney?
No, no, I know the time
is up, sir,
but if I could, if I could...
No, I'm sure
it's a very good photo
you have of me, but...
No, I know you're not kidding.
Mr. Pinkney...
I love this baby.
Yes, sir.
Till tomorrow at 5:00.
I never thought much
about tomorrows, little one.
But that night,
I wasn't much looking forward to dawn.
I was an escaped prisoner
with a kidnapped baby.
Loozy was gone,
and so was Buford.
But that's the thing
about tomorrows...
You never know
what they'll bring.
Billy! Billy!
"A struggling musician,
pawning his beloved guitar,
was confronted
by two jewel thieves,
now dead, because
they underestimated
the courage
of this quiet man."
Where do they get this shit?
He can't even play the guitar.
It's Huntoon,
that pawn shop guy.
He figured if Buford had
to stand trial for burglary,
he'd spill everything
he ever knew.
- I won't believe he'd tell.
- He has risen from the dead.
If he speaks,
he speaks in the voice of a shaman.
If he has fingered Loozy,
I will rip
his damn vocal cords out.
Dr. Peterson to radiology.
Dr. Peterson to radiology.
Sorry, no babies.
And just one at a time, please.
Hey, bue.
Did we get the jewels, Billy?
I'm taking the baby
on the run, Buford,
that's why I need you
to be quiet about everything.
Don't tell about me
and the baby,
or the robbery,
or Verne, or Loozy.
You'll wreck it for all of us.
Is Tess here yet?
I never new a woman...
Did you, Billy?
Who always had 'em.
Had what, Buford?
Hard nipples.
She here yet?
Well, what did he say?
Hi, how's she doing?
- Good.
- Is this your family?
Uh, yeah.
- This is my sister.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- This is my other sister.
- Oh, hi.
- And this is my uncle Dog.
I'm impressed that you all came.
It's what a baby needs.
"It takes a village,"
as they say.
- Uh-huh.
- You know what?
It's a little early,
but we can start heading over there now.
Dawn breaks on a special day,
the day your new baby arrives.
A precious bundle awaited
with eager anticipation
by the entire family.
It's not just mom's job now,
it's dad's as well.
Brothers and sisters, too.
For family stability is the key
to raising a happy,
healthy child.
Dad, you promised us
you'd get ice cream.
I did, didn't I?
In short, parenting requires
the talents of a juggler
and the patience of a Saint.
Remember, your child
didn't choose you,
you chose it.
And it's your sacred
responsibility now
to give it the most
nurturing home
that any parent could provide.
That guy...
The father of your baby?
He seemed nice.
He said he already had
a college fund put away,
and that his wife would
be real disappointed.
I guess they really
wanted a baby.
You said so yourself.
What have I got to give a baby, huh?
You said so yourself.
Love was enough.
With the police
after me? No money,
no home, no job, no future.
My face on every paper
from here to Chickeesaw.
- A child is not a tumbleweed.
- He had his baby.
- He didn't want it.
- He wanted it.
A seedling needs rich soil.
What the fuck
are you talking about?
The thirsty one
is still thirsty.
Don't do this to me.
I'm on the run, Estelle.
Not anymore, you're not.
Billy Rae in here?
- Billy Raedeen?
- Who?
No. Uh-uh.
Do you know him?
No, sure don't.
If you see him,
tell him to call this number.
Oh, okay.
We found the girl
who killed Verne Gacey,
right where his note
said we would.
She confessed to the crime
and led us to the body.
Which makes the conviction
just a formality.
Likely he's gonna get the $10,000
the family posted as a reward.
Whole lot easier this way.
Well, good day to you.
Turns out it was Loozy herself
who sent the note
supposedly signed by me,
identifying herself
as the killer.
And Loozy herself who called
Verne's rich mama in Reno,
advising a $10,000 reward
would bring quick results.
What exactly possessed her
to give up everything for you,
I'll never know.
What she told me was,
they had a great library
in that prison,
and she'd always dreamed of
having nothing to do but read.
- Did you pay Pinkney, yet?
- I did.
Did you get the papers?
And he got his evinrude.
They say if I'm a good girl,
I can get out of here
in seven years.
Which means I got
to start reading fast.
I mean, the National
Geographics alone...
Will take me...
Thank you, Loozy.
I promise you,
there's nothing
I won't do to make sure
she gets every chance
at a good life.
Everything I can.
I know that.
That's my sacred obligation now.
No matter what I suffer,
that's what I gotta do.
See you, Billy.
I'll never be far.
And I never was far.
Not from her, not you.
That was part of the deal,
and why I did what I did.
So I could be your uncle Billy
and stay close...
Always keep an eye on you.
Now I'll never forget you.
Because there was someone
who could provide for you,
someone who wanted a child.
And even your aunt Estelle
agreed that Sonny
wasn't such a bad guy after all.
He promised on the phone
to marry Evaline,
the woman he was living with,
which I insisted on before
I'd let you move in there.
And she didn't seem
to object none either.
He said he'd buy you
all three outfits...
One for church,
one to go to school,
and one just to get dirty.
He said you'd have
your own room,
a brother or sister
when the time was right,
and most important,
you'd keep your own name.
- What was her birthday again?
- Oh, June 30th.
- June 30th.
- Little Shauna-Louise.
You look like an Amy to me.
Do you like that name, Amy?
I'll tell you, little one,
in my lifetime before you,
it always felt right
to do the wrong thing.
This felt so wrong,
I knew it must be right.
Bye, little Loozy.
And that's why I left you there.
'Cause they had what I didn't...
A house, a college fund,
a real family.
I knew you'd be
better off there.
Wait a second...
Like Estelle said, little one,
you got 60 days to reconsider
an adoption in this state.
And I only used up
60 seconds of it.
I knew they had
the house, the family,
and the college fund,
but we're as much
a family as they were.
And we could start
our own college fund.
Still, the truest test
is the test of time.
And in the time that's passed,
many things have changed.
Among them, your uncle
Buford, who did recover.
But in a way like
Dog predicted...
Like a holy man.
Having been put in touch with a
monastery in Napa, California,
he went there to serve
the brothers.
But when I heard this was
known as wine country,
I wondered if he'd
changed that much after all.
Your aunt Estelle tried,
but failed,
to get her baby back...
The 60 days being up.
But she did find out
it was in good hands,
having been adopted
by a newly married
air conditioner repair man.
They're always in demand.
I lost touch with Stormy,
but got a postcard indicating
she was still
kicking high enough.
And one from Dog,
letting me know
he'd achieved his dream.
Speaking of dreams,
I've still got a few.
And so does Loozy.
'Cause it seems like seven
years is going by pretty fast.
We talk about when she gets out
maybe getting together.
Who knows,
we might make a nice family
for you some day.
'Cause we're none
of us cactuses, little one.
We all need to be touched.
Sincerely yours forever,
love always...
PS. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Isn't she something?
Junior was drivin'
all night and day
Had a gnawin' in his gut
wouldn't go away
Broke a cold sweat
from his head to his feet
He knew he had to find
something good to eat
Through the fog and the mist
he saw the sign
Of a rundown bar
on the county line
Slid the car to the door
and ran inside
Now the crowd looked up,
he began to cry
I want a pig knuckle
and a PBR
Junior yelled out
across the bar
I'll give a gold wristwatch
and my Cadillac car
For a pig knuckle
and a PBR
The bartender looked
up and down the bar
He was searching in vain
for the pickle jar
Sweat was beadin'
on his lip
When he whispered
to junior, "boy, get a grip"
Junior looked at him...