Norm of the North (2016) Movie Script

Don't listen to the haters, Norm.
You're a polar bear.
You got this.
I mean, look at those paws.
You're an animal-- literally.
It's an all-you-can-eat seal buffet.
Go fill your plate.
Read 'em and weep, boys.
Cari-boo-yah!
Full house.
I'd bet antlers he fails again.
Ah, he looks hungry.
I'm giving ten-to-one odds
he catches the poor pinniped.
They say I can't hunt.
Oy, phooey! How can I be king
if I can't hunt?
This is gonna hurt.
Oh!
That wasn't so bad.
Oy, that was bad.
They say he doesn't have any focus.
Huh? Hi, Elizabeth.
Hi.
Augh!
Jeez, it's like pure ice up here.
An accident waiting to happen,
you know?
I mean, somebody should really
do something about this, huh?
Ahem.
Lemmings.
Anyway, I really
should get goin' now.
I've got a seal to go catch
and eat and I--
anyway, I uh--
See ya, gotta go.
Bye now.
Catch ya later, Elizabeth.
Babe, look! A hunt!
This trip is finally payin' off.
Any last words before I eat you?
Oh, come on. Don't say that.
You always know exactly
what to say to get to me.
Eat him. Eat him!
- Yeah! Eat him.
- Eat him!
You wanna know
why I'm not gonna eat you?
You got a minute?
Well, maybe an hour.
It all started when I turned 13.
In health class they told us
how our growl would change,
how we'd start getting
more fur on our bodies.
But they didn't say anything
about speaking to humans.
I want one! I want one!
I want one! I want one!
Aren't they supposed to stay
50 yards away?
If this little brat takes one more step,
I'm gonna pounce.
Keep it up, kid.
The only thing you're gonna get
is a mauling.
Can't ya see we're wild animals here?
Did you just talk to me?
Wait. You can speak bear?
No, dummy,
you're speaking human.
I didn't know what to do.
No other bear seemed to be able
to speak human.
And certainly no other bear
had these weird feelings that I had.
So I went to go see
the wisest bear in the world.
The King of the Arctic,
who conveniently
was also my grandpa.
I don't know what to do.
I didn't ask for this.
What is wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with you, Norm.
You're special.
Yeah, a real one of a kind.
Actually, more like two of a kind.
I share the same trait.
I, too, can speak to our human visitors.
You can talk to them, too?
I can.
Polar bears are icons
of the Arctic, Norm.
And an icon with a voice
can be very powerful indeed.
Our land is vulnerable
and we're responsible.
For now, just know
that what you and I have
is a great gift.
One day you'll truly understand.
But when will I understand?
But it didn't end there.
Human tendencies
had taken over my body.
That's when I started doing
the Arctic Shake.
Everybody
Let me speak free
Be who you wanna be,
stand up and shout...
I put the "soul"
in winter solstice.
Get down move your body
all around F
Let your crazy out,
let your crazy out
- Shout...
- Until the batteries ran out.
These days, I'm pretty glad
I have these feelings,
but I just don't know
what to do with them.
And that brings me
to the other day.
Why don't you take a picture?
It'll last longer.
I knew he wouldn't kill the seal.
- Pay up.
- Fine, here.
You're lucky these things
grow back.
I'm a bear who can't hunt.
I'm softer than frozen yogurt.
Who needs a bear
with too much care
and not enough scare?
Norm!
What is that, a haiku?
What did Dad tell you
about writing poetry?
I know, I know. "Leave the poetry
to the panda bears."
What's up, Stan?
I only caught the tail end of it...
but I made some money
off your failed hunt today, big bro.
I wish I'd caught the tail end
of my hunt.
Let me give you some advice, bro.
Act with your stomach
and not your heart.
Oh, my 5:00 is here.
Excuse me, Normie.
I don't know why you spend so much
time and energy on these tourists.
They're ruining it up here.
Au contraire, mon frre.
As Dad always said,
"if humans come to our land and clap,
they can't come to our land
and crap."
"Give them a scene...
the Arctic stays clean."
Thanks, Stan, I got it.
But Grandpa always said--
Enough about Grandpa, Norm.
He left us, remember?
He's not here. We are.
The humans won't destroy
something they love.
And they love...
us!
Let's give these people what they came
a thousand miles to see:
a show!
And go!
Whoa!
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
Whales, I need whales.
What you gonna--
what you gonna do with that--
How many times
do I have to tell you?
This ain't Orlando.
Act real.
Ohh! Not that real!
Aw, that's the fourth time this month.
Norm, I need you for the finale.
I'm desperate.
A whale just ate my actor.
This is my nightmare.
Aww, please.
No, the Arctic Shake
was for your bachelor party.
I'd never do that
for the human tourists.
Never, never, never!
Yeah, no time, no time,
no time to lose
You got no time, no time...
- Wow!
- Listen
Baby, baby,
won't you take my hand?
Don't be afraid
to take a chance
Together there is nothin'
we can't do
So start it up,
get in the groove
X Dance, dance, dance
Out of control
- You're out of control...
- That bear's not scary at all.
He doesn't belong in the Arctic,
he belongs on Broadway.
Right?
Hey, hey, can you do
the Charleston?
Socrates!
O wisest of the winged,
brainiest of the beaked.
Caw! Norm, grab a seat.
Be with you in a minute.
Just finishing up.
And the next thing
you know, I'm twerking
in front of a boatload
of human tourists.
Twerking!
Have some self-respect, Norm.
I just don't know why everyone wants
to be so nice to these intruders.
They've never done
anything for us
except to come
to our land uninvited.
Ah, your grandfather
had a saying--
"Panem et circenses."
"Bread and circuses."
He meant it's easier to distract
ourselves with food and entertainment
than to think about the real problems.
What happened to Grandpa,
Socrates?
Did he really just disappear?
The theories are plentiful.
Some believe he's on a vision quest.
Some people think he simply
went to search for fish,
while others think he went
to follow the band...
Phish.
Me, I think your grandpa knew
something was happening
and tried to fight it.
And it looks like that something
is happening.
Holy icicle.
Is that a human house?
It's a model home.
A sales tool.
Just arrived, literally,
fresh on the boat.
It means more of these houses
are gonna be coming.
Humans are moving here?
To live?
It starts with the tourists,
then someone says,
"I could do this year round."
It happened to my buddy,
Freddy the flamingo.
He was in Florida,
minding his own business.
Couple of tourists show up.
Next thing you know,
there are plastic statues of Freddy
on everyone's lawn!
We gotta talk to the king.
Norm, that house has nothing to do
with why Grandpa vanished.
Dad, you're not listening,
there's more.
There's a human house
right here on Grandpa's land.
Humans are moving here now.
Ah, Norm, you always did have
such an imagination, now, didn't you?
- First with the poetry--
- I swear it's true.
Socrates and I snuck in.
And look--
from Florida.
Norm, you are not to go
anywhere near there.
Do you hear me?
Grandpa's land is off limits.
Understood?
"Snuck in."
Ha! Norm, you shouldn't
go onto property
that doesn't belong to you.
You should know better.
Besides, I'm sure the house
you're referring to
is simply a research hut.
Look,son,
you wanna be king?
A future king isn't supposed
to get so emotional.
We hunt, we lead, and we sleep.
Simple!
Now there is plenty of ice
to go around.
Just stay away from there!
Far away.
And for the love of salmon,
no more talking human!
You got me?
Yes, Dad.
Did you see that?
He wants to give away the Arctic.
That's it. We're done.
Norm, it all points to the same thing.
Humans are invading our land.
And you are a polar bear
who can speak to humans.
You're the only one who can
do something about this.
Socrates, I can't even hunt.
Norm, your grandpa once told me,
"Norm's the only bear that has
the potential to be king of the Arctic.
"He feels the Arctic's pain.
And if he feels it enough,
he'll stand for us."
I can't even stand for myself.
Norm, don't listen to them.
They're just furry robots
sitting in their ice cubicles
obeying the rules,
pretending nothing bad's
ever gonna happen.
But you can change the rules.
You're seeing the future.
They're just living in the past.
You can find a new way.
Don't just dance for the humans.
Fight for our home instead.
Okay. I won't let you down.
- Socrates!
- Cranberries!
Surprise is the number-one cause
of death in the elderly, you know.
Ooh...
We have to do something.
I have to do something. Unh!
Ah, number one or number two?
- We gotta take some--
- Action!
What the heck is that?
Caw! That is proof of why
you should stay in school.
First you're cutting class,
next you're dressing up in a bear suit
doing twirls
for a real estate commercial.
The seals would kill him.
Cut!
Who said that?
I'm the only one who yells, "Cut!"
I'm the director.
I'm not just going to be a furry robot
sitting in an ice cubicle.
We have to point that director
in a new direction.
Oh, great.
A suit coming to give me creative notes
on my masterpiece!
But I'll need soldiers on the ground.
Invisible soldiers.
Those little guys?
They'll get crushed.
Trust me, they're indestructible.
- What's he doing?
- He wants you to stomp on him.
He wants to prove how tough he is.
Could he sign a release first?
I'm gonna get, like,
lemming juice everywhere.
Do it.
- Ow.
- I killed him.
If I go down, Socrates,
I'm taking you down with me!
Wait for it. Wait for it.
Ta-da!
You're invincible.
You guys got springs for bones.
Can you see this, honey?
It's so beautiful, isn't it?
It's beautiful, Mom,
but what will it look like
when you and Mr. Greene
build all those houses there?
You're changing the Arctic.
Change isn't always good.
Olympia, if this campaign works
and the houses sell,
that means great things for us.
But it really is amazing up here.
Oh!
Olympia, I'll call you right back.
Hi. Vera Brightly,
Head of Marketing for Mr. Greene.
The commercial is a masterpiece!
I deserve an Oscar!
Well, you can't win an Oscar
for a commercial,
but as long as it can sell condos,
we've done our job.
Can you smell that?
The air is so fresh here.
It's completely unpolluted.
Holy Hitchcock!
That bird just pooped on me.
I think that's good luck, isn't it?
Who forgot to secure the lights?
I swear I secured them.
Is that bird aiming for us?
Oh, poop.
Oh, my gosh.
What is happening?
Vera, we're fine.
I still have the background lights.
Wait for it. Wait for it.
Don't tell me those were
the background lights.
Don't worry, Vera.
I've already shot
most of the commercial,
and it's all on this reel.
We'll fix the rest in post.
Anything can be fixed in post.
In one of my movies,
I wrote the plot in post.
Uh, excuse me, Nigel.
Vera, a director always delivers
and never quits.
There goes the footage.
Augh! I quit! I quit!
You can't quit.
We have a one-day film permit,
and the house goes back
to New York tonight.
Au revoir,
as they say in France
and some parts of Canada!
Good job today, lemmings,
but let's not get too comfortable.
Yup, there's one more down there.
Oh, sorry about that.
You guys gotta speak up, seriously.
If you're gonna go to the bottom,
tell somebody.
Let's not completely relax
until "Pretty in Pink"
heads back to America.
Okay, Vera,
you're a problem solver.
When you're faced with a problem,
what do you usually do?
You solve it!
If only I had some seals and ice
and, uh, are there penguins
up here?
Sea lion! Hi!
Please come back.
I need your help with this shot.
Please?
It's a seal, you generalist.
Humans think all animals
look the same.
Ouch! Cracked driveway.
Not a good selling point.
Hey, the Arctic comes as-is.
Who said that?
Mommy.
Sorry, honey.
Mommy couldn't call you back.
I was busy putting out a fire.
The Arctic is on fire?!
Wait, so you're melting it now?
No, no, not real fires.
Everything is fine, sweetie.
I'm totally fine.
Wha?
Oh, no!
Move it, lady!
Oh, no.
A polar bear!
Really? Oh, they're amazing.
Ursus Maritimus.
I think he's charging me.
Is that bad?
Look it up on the Internet.
It says, "When confronted
with a polar bear,
assert dominance
and stand your ground."
I don't think it's working.
Let me call you back, honey.
Mommy has an idea. Love you.
Tired of suburbia?
Come to the Arctic, where every day
is a safari in the snow.
All you need to do is step
outside your front door, literally.
Waterfront property now available.
You're welcome!
Mr. Greene, we've had
some problems up here.
Oh, Vera, my dear-a,
there are no problems,
only messages from the universe.
Om...
Say it with me, Vera.
Om...
Om...
Mr. Greene, the director quit!
What?!
I knew you shouldn't have hired
that overpaid, pretentious--
Okay, how are you gonna fix this?
How are you gonna fix
your fault? Hmm?
Well, I've been filming all day,
and I got some really great
footage of a polar bear
that almost attacked me.
You've been filming?
That is so cute.
I'm sure you think
you're a regular Scorsese.
All right, I need something people
might actually wanna watch.
Wait a tick. I love it.
I love it. I love it!
This bear is a star.
"Safari in the snow."
Genius of me.
This will definitely get me approval
from the Polar Council.
I can't believe it.
Oh, I'm gonna be so rich.
Condos, shopping malls,
Volvo dealerships.
Oh, God, you name it.
It's going to be Dubai on ice.
Bring the commercial and the model
back home to New York
and I'll see you tomorrow,
manana.
That means "morning," I think.
Remember, we have one week
to get this approved.
Actually, Mr. Greene,
while I have you,
any word back
from your alma mater,
the Magister Mundi Academy?
It's Olympia's dream to go there,
but as you know,
it's impossible to get in
without an alumni
recommendation.
Yeah, but she ain't gettin' in
until the condos get in.
I won't let you down, I promise.
Vera, scrap the campaign.
We need a real symbol
of the Arctic
who can talk to these people
and convince these morons
to buy my homes.
Find an actor who looks
just like that bear.
Let's use the Arctic
to sell the Arctic.
Boo-yah!
An actor that looks just like that bear?
Oh, brother.
You heard them, Norm.
They want an actor
who can use the Arctic
to sell the Arctic.
If that actor is you,
we can use the Arctic
to save the Arctic.
You need to go to New York
and stop these houses
from ever getting here.
I hear they have good pizza
in New York.
Come on.
Can you feel it?
Now it's coming back,
we can steal it
If we bridge this gap,
I can see it
Through the curtains
of the waterfall
So say Geronimo!
Can you feel
- My love?
- Bombs away
Bombs away
Bombs away...
Wow, what can a bear like me
do in a city like this?
Lemmings, I have a feeling
this journey
might not be as smooth
as we hoped.
Just got to remember to stay...
grounded.
Whoa!
This place is so amazing, Mom.
Did you know that their Latin
department is so good,
they single-handedly
resuscitated the language?
- It's no longer dead.
- Well, it's a school for only
the gifted and talented geniuses
like you. it really is perfect.
But try not to fall in love
just yet, okay?
This is only a tour.
We still need Mr. Greene's help and--
Mom, you're putting
too much pressure on yourself.
We don't need Greene's help.
I can get in on my own.
I know it.
Just have fun in there, sweetheart.
It's the most amazing thing.
I gotta tell all my seal buddies.
You press the lever,
the water goes up.
Um, oh, hey, guys.
Come on in.
Um, help yourself to some
fur balls in the fridge.
Another talking bear?
We gotta tell Mr. Greene.
Wait. What do you mean,
"another talking bear"?
Oh!
Bring the tranquilizer guns.
Over.
Hyah!
Whoa!
Huh?
Greene House Company,
where art thou?
The King of the Arctic
has come to greet you.
Well, it's not "Macbeth,"
but it's a job.
Okay, bad costume,
but he knows the way to Greene.
- There he is!
- Huh?
Come on, lemmings.
Hey! Hah-ha-hah!
Yes, I am the King of the Arctic,
and the king is hungry!
Sustenance!
Hark! Seal, hark, I say!
Hey, you!
Hey!
- There he is!
- I think we can take him.
A real polar bear always
does his own stunts.
Come here
and feel my Arctic wrath.
En garde!
Jeez, they don't call this place
a "concrete jungle" for nothing.
Whoa, yes!
Hunh!
It was just a misunderstanding.
We thought you was
a real talking bear.
Thank you.
That's a fantastic compliment.
Aah!
Mad rats! Mad rats!
Yes! Run, cowards!
Get back here, lemmings!
So you're here for
the Greene Homes audition?
"King of the Arctic," I take it.
Yeah. Use the Arctic
to sell the Arctic.
It makes sense.
Well, you certainly look
the part of a bear.
That costume is exquisite.
Just a little something
I threw together.
Yes...
I thought I had this role locked up,
but now my bear suit is ruined.
Oh, I'll never get this one.
Look, when you were
attacking those men,
you really had me convinced
you were a bear.
Yes, I am
a phenomenal actor,
but I can't compete with you.
Such authenticity.
You even smell
like a polar bear.
Me, I smell like macaroni
and sweet vermouth.
Now go and get that part!
Mr. Greene, let me be frank.
Condos in the Arctic
is a ludicrous idea.
Now, condos in the Bahamas--
that people can understand.
Until we can see public support,
we will not approve this.
Polar Council, please.
I do this all over the world.
I know where people
want to live before they do.
Our homes are very deluxe,
and you would love them,
Councilwoman.
People aren't interested
in living in the Arctic.
Know how I know?
Because that graph shows
you're currently
at a 3% approval rating.
Until that number
gets above 85%...
not approved.
Hi, everyone.
Sign in and wait over there, Travolta.
Hey, guys. Toilet's right there.
Help yourselves.
Whatever.
Oh, yeah.
Looks like we're real close
to approval, Vera.
Great work.
We need to get to 85%,
and we're at what,
2.8?
Vera, where is my bear?
Mr. Greene, I've got bear actors
from Broadway
and the big screen
coming right now.
Well, I hope so.
Because if you fail,
you can kiss
your daughter's chances
of getting into
my alma mater goodbye.
Know what else
you can kiss goodbye?
Yo' job!
'Cause I promise you, it will vanish,
just like those condos we built
in the Bermuda Triangle.
Mr. Greene, I have
the investors on Skype for you.
Oh, great.
The Arctic condo investors.
And no approval for Arctic condos!
Thank you all for coming.
Okay, we're looking for real.
Let me have it!
Okay, I'm not quite getting
"King of the Arctic."
it's more like
"Queen of the Prom."
Bear, bear, bear, bear.
I need real.
I need something to save my--
You, come with me.
Only if I can bring my lemmings.
We're with the same agency.
Cute. And very marketable.
Bring 'em.
Mr. Greene,
meet Norm of the North.
Yeah, he's pretty.
And I feel scared.
Ooh, ah.
But can Norma play
"King of the Arctic"?
It's Norm.
Aah! Help!
Help! I'm being mugged!
Just take the watch,
take my wallet.
Just don't touch my ponytail.
That's where--
That's where I keep all my powers.
Aah! Vera, Vera!
Throw me my Mace!
And my wet wipes!
Sorry, Mr. Greene.
I was just, uh, keepin' it real.
You know, trying to use the Arctic
to sell the Arctic, you know.
Norm is just a consummate actor.
He certainly looks the part.
And he even brought
Arctic lemmings.
Janet! The rats are back!
Call pest control,
because the fire department
doesn't show up on time!
Om... Gonna die.
Mr. Greene,
you said authentic sells,
and no one does authentic better
than Norm of the North.
Well, he's too authentic.
I mean, we need a bear
that is happy,
that makes people
feel warm and safe.
You know, fake!
You're fired, Norm.
Get out of my office.
- Om...
- You want happy bear?
You got happy bear.
Let me speak free
Be who you wanna be,
stand up and shout
Shout it out...
Yeah! This is great.
Add three more dancers
and we got a boy band.
Let your crazy out,
shout it, shout it
Shout it out loud
Do it, do it, do it right now...
Norm, I take it back.
You're hired.
Vera, take our newest star
out to lunch.
Come on, Norm. We'll go
to Kozawa Sushi just upstairs.
It's the freshest fish in town.
Kozawa's pricey.
Uh, okay-- Vera,
can you come here for a second?
Just no lobster, Kobe,
or tipping, okay?
By the way, Norm,
if you like mixed drinks,
you must try the flat
and sparkling water.
That actor actually smells like a bear.
I haven't smelled anything
that foul since--
Wait a minute.
Has he spoken again?
Uh,nope.
Something felt a little too real
with that bear.
The only thing that looks like a bear,
sounds like a bear,
and smells as bad as a bear
is a bear.
I knew it!
You think you're real slick,
don't you, old bear?
You thought you could send one of
your bear operatives to take me out?
Snap!
Well, I got news for you, Gramps.
- No way I'm goin' down that easy.
Norm of the North is finished.
I've got a bear assassin to get rid of.
Norm?
He's an actor.
Never takes off his costume.
Are you okay?
I'm fine. I usually sit on the ground
at home anyway.
Um... for an entre,
you want to do chef's choice.
He can always read
what his guests want.
Sure.
This should be interesting.
Sorry we couldn't bring
the lemmings.
A little health code thing.
Do you think they're okay
down in the office by themselves?
Uh, I needed this.
You have no idea.
This day has been something else.
Both the bridge and the tunnel
were closed this morning
so traffic was a nightmare,
and Tony was yellin' at me
like it was my fault or something.
He's just mad because he's short.
No offense.
So, um...
Greene Homes up in the Arctic?
Crazy, huh? I'll take you to see
an exact mock-up of one.
It's actually a few floors
down from our offices.
You'll see, they practically
sell themselves.
If that's even a good thing.
What's-- what's that?
Nothing, nothing. Just, after having
been up in the Arctic myself
and seeing how beautiful it is,
I wonder if it's even good
to have houses up there.
That sounds silly, doesn't it?
Not at all.
I know exactly what you mean.
Oh, I gotta take this.
It's my daughter.
Hi, Olympia.
How did the tour go?
Are you loving the new school?
Well, it was just a tour,
but I'm happy you love it.
I'll talk to Mr. Greene again and--
No.
Okay, honey. I have to go.
See you tonight. Love you.
- A lot goin' on?
- Yeah, sorry about that.
Olympia is, well, brilliant,
but it's... complicated.
Good schools are important.
Yes. Really, really.
Really important.
Mmm.
Oh, thanks, Chef Kozawa.
That certainly looks fresh.
You wanna play rough?
Okay.
Don't worry, patrons,
it's just a tranquilizer gun.
It's only sometimes lethal
on humans.
I don't know who sent you,
but the party's over, pal.
Mr. Greene, what are you doing?
You smell like a wild animal, Norm.
Mr. Greene, just because
I haven't bathed,
you're gonna shoot me?
Jeez, I heard New Yorkers
could be hostile,
but this is a little much.
I'm warning you!
Ah, is there a sharp pain
in everyone's bottom?
Or is it just me?
Ohh, I'm feeling it.
Norm-san,
you are my guest anytime.
- Arigato.
- Do itashi, bro.
Norm of the North, everyone.
Where am I?
What happened?
Somebody shoot that bear!
Mr. Greene, please, relax.
I think you might want to see this.
And in other news...
The local news caught your outburst
at Kozawa's today
and Norm's heroism.
Everyone's talking about Norm,
and look at our approval ratings.
Oh, my goodness.
We are rising faster than the oceans.
Norm, uh, buddy. I...
I thought he was a real bear.
I mean, I was confused
because he smells
just like that other polar...
vortex.
That storm brought all the smells
of winter right to our doorsteps.
"Real bear," huh?
You know what?
Just forget the whole thing.
Some guy from a cola company
approached me at Kozawa's.
Said they needed a bear
for a holiday thing.
Because of me,
your ratings just jumped 20%.
Imagine what I could do
for a real company.
Norm, wait.
If you let him walk out that door,
we are back to square one.
Norm, Norm, Norm.
Um, I am so sorry I shot at you.
Hug?
Awkward.
Well, Normie has to look
for a new job and a place to live.
Not all of us can afford
a fancy Greene condo,
which I hear is fully furnished
and uninhabited,
and I will probably
sleep in the park alone.
Norm, wait.
Vera, he can stay...
in the model home.
Ah! I am brilliant!
Hmm. Perfect.
So close to work,
no commute and so homey.
Right, lemmings?
Hey, hey-hey-hey, careful.
Those are the finest
leather hides from Italy.
- Are they housetrained?
- Oh, definitely.
They've peed in tons of houses.
Well, I guess we'll settle in.
Okay, we'll work on getting you
out on the campaign trail
for Greene Homes.
Get some rest, and there's a minibar
with some food in it.
I'll give you a 3% discount.
Vera, you work on
settin' up the marketing.
I'll take care of the rest.
Okay, boys, we gotta find Grandpa,
stop these condos from gettin' built
and get home.
And on top of all that,
Mr. Greene's watching us,
so act natural.
Not that natural.
Okay.
Okay, look.
Okay, look, we need someone
to provide cover
while I go investigate that shelf
that smelled like Grandpa.
I think I know just the guy.
Look, all you have to do is go up there
and pretend to be me.
The lemmings will let you in.
There's plenty of salmon
in the minibar, so help yourself.
Brilliant.
Thank you, kind bear.
We'll leave the lights on for you.
Okay, it's just like an iceberg--
an iceberg with hundreds of witnesses
to watch me climb.
Mm-hmm!
Whoo-hoo!
I just got it.
That's our Norm, huh?
I'll start booking talk shows
first thing in the morning.
I have Councilwoman Klubeck
ready for the call.
Janet, you're the best
at being the worst.
Knock next time.
Whatever.
You just woke me up,
so this better be good.
Sorry to wake you,
but I found an actor
who plays a polar bear perfectly.
He even smells like a bear.
The public will fall for him for sure.
Smart. They'll love him,
especially all those extra tourists
we let in the Arctic.
Just for you, Greene.
On that note, the floor plans
for your condo in the Bahamas
are already on the way.
It's so gigantic
it's bigger than my ego.
And we got those deluxe
showerheads--
oh, it'll wash that guilt right off.
I don't have any guilt.
You want 10 miles of ice,
we still have five million more.
Just get the people
behind this.
I need that to push this through.
Well done, Greene. As usual.
That smells like my grandpa.
Okay, think.
If you were a slightly creepy,
one-note villain,
where would you keep stuff hidden?
Right. This guy's got
security cameras everywhere.
I'll be too obvious.
You guys go check it out first.
If Grandpa's actually in there,
tell him Norm has come
to the rescue.
If you guys had bones,
I'd be worried about you.
...can't you see I'm busy?
Lemmings!
ls Norm with you?
So he was down there?
Well, we need to get him out
right now.
Grandpa says it'll blow my cover
if I break him out?
He wants me to build an ark?
Oh, no, no.
He wants me to focus on the Arctic,
saving the Arctic.
I got it. It all makes sense.
I'll save the Arctic first,
and then I'll save Grandpa.
And then, if I have time,
I'll build an ark.
Makeup!
Hey, Norm. Norm,
this is my daughter, Olympia.
Olympia, this is the great actor
I was telling you about.
Great to meet you, Norm.
Quite a costume you found yourself.
Yes, hi, Mr. Greene.
Sorry I didn't pick up before.
Your mom is very good
at her job, Olympia.
You must be proud.
I know.
Sometimes I wish she wasn't
so good at her job,
if it meant she got to spend
more time with me.
- Oh! You have lemmings.
- Mm-hmm.
The smallest animals
in the Arctic.
Can I?
They're very instinctive.
They know a good person.
Hmm, so let's see.
You're approximately 500 kilograms,
exact skull and nose proportions.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I only weigh 194 pounds,
just like the average American male.
Please, I know exactly
what you're doing, Norm.
You're saving the Arctic, your home.
So I'm thinking,
maybe we can work together.
And you can save my home
in the process.
Like you and me. I tell ya!
There's nothing to--
Be honest.
What's your plan here?
Well, Mr. Greene wants
to use me to sell the Arctic,
and I'm gonna use the Arctic
to save it.
Exactly.
You have to rally the public
so that they love you,
wait for your moment
and turn them against Greene.
Use his own plan to defeat him.
But the key is to make sure
you time your moment just right,
when the public
loves you the most.
The approval rating!
I'll get it as high as possible,
and then I'll strike.
Olympia, you really are a genius.
My mom's not the only one
who studied marketing.
So ladies and gentlemen,
we have an unusual guest today
who is here to tell us about
his home, the Arctic,
and how you can make it
your home, too.
Without further ado,
Norm of the North!
Whoo! So, Norm, you're here
for a very special mission.
Would you like to tell us
what it is?
Uh, um... l-- I, uh--
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think our furry friend's a little nervous.
Well, let's loosen him up
with a clip of some
of his most recent heroics.
I'm warning you.
You know, if we're not helping each other,
I mean, what are we here for,
you know?
Aww...
"What are we here for?"
We're here to sell condos!
Talk about Greene Homes!
What a jerk.
What can I say?
Norm, the public loves you.
Hey, Tamecia. What do you say
we take this party to a bigger stage?
Just keep your eyes on me, I said,
"You're holding back"
She said,
"Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo,
shut up and dance!"
Don't you dare look back,
just keep your eyes on me
I said,
"You're holding back"
This woman is my destiny,
she said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo"...
- Now?
- No. Not yet.
"Shut up and dance with me!"
Oh, come on girl!
Don't you dare look back,
just keep your eyes on me
I said,
"You're holding back"
She said,
"Shut up and dance with me!"
This woman is my destiny
She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo,
shut up and dance with me!"
"Ooh-ooh-hoo,
shut up and dance with me!"
Norm! Norm! Norm!
85%!
Look at Norm! He's famous!
Norm's fame has helped our cause,
but it isn't enough, Greene.
I can't get this through
until Norm publicly says,
"Norm of the North supports
Greene Homes in the Arctic."
Make sure he does it
or you're done.
This is it, Norm. You did it.
The public loves you.
And you know what that means?
You're right, Olympia.
It's time to save our homes.
How long can it take
to get into a costume?
I don't think he liked the outfit.
Norm, can you please come out?
I think I just did.
Okay, lemmings.
We got one shot at this.
It's showtime. We do this,
and then we go get Grandpa.
Get up and show a little attitude
Beats bangin', feel the bass
Just turn around
and shake, shake, shake
X Dance, dance, dance
Out of control,
you're out of control
Dance, dance, dance,
just let...
Yay, Norm!
SO someone somewhere
thought it was a good idea
to build in the Arctic.
That someone is our "friend,"
Mr. Greene.
I just wanted to let you
all know the truth
about what this would mean
for my home.
Norm of the North supports
Greene Homes in the Arctic.
Norm! Norm! Norm! Norm! Norm!
Ha ha! Norm, we did it.
I'm on with my architect.
We're figuring out where to put
the first Arctic frozen yogurt shop.
Your announcement
has been reposted a million times!
No, your announcement
was reposted a million times.
I had something I needed to say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Four homes pre-sold,
and already built.
Mr. Greene, you can't sell the homes yet.
We don't have approval
from the Council. it's illegal.
Aw, I'm wittle Vee-wa.
I'm scared of po-weece.
Guess what, toots.
I'm above the law.
Welcome to the cold, hard world
of "big bidness."
You sound just like the investors.
"Uh, duh, it has to be done
correctly, Greene,
with integrity."
Please. Wake up and smell the profits.
Not to mention that after
Norm of the North's announcement today,
approval is a guarantee.
Norm, come back!
Don't be a diva.
Vera, get my lawyer.
We're gonna copyright that roar
and make it a ringtone.
Hey, it's Norm of the North!
You're the king!
I'm Norm of the North,
king of nothing.
I came to save my home.
I ended up destroying it.
Norm, your grandpa once told me,
"Norm's the only bear
that has the potential to be...
King of the Arctic."
Hey, Norm. Norm!
Why don't you come over for dinner?
I'd rather be alone right now, Vera.
Please, just leave me be.
Norm, why are you so down?
You were great!
The campaign was a success.
Everyone loves you.
Don't you get it, Vera?
Because of me,
Mr. Greene is gonna destroy my home.
I think you're taking this polar bear act
a little too far, Norm.
Come on. Olympia would love it
if you came over.
Olympia...?
Dinner with a genius? Mm, I'm in.
You wouldn't happen to know where
I can get some ice water, huh?
You know, so I can freshen up a little bit?
For dinner.
Ooh. You okay?
Ah!
It's humble, but it's home.
You should see my place.
No furniture,
but I do get year-round
air conditioning.
Whoo-hoo!
Thanks, Mrs. Soo.
Mommy, you're home early.
How was school today?
Scintillating, as usual.
Olympia's just not really
challenged at her current school.
That's why Magister Mundi
will be so great.
All the students are like Olympia.
I actually think Olympia
and myself are a lot alike.
We're both special.
We have great gifts.
Two peas in a pod.
Besties.
Anyway, Mommy,
I was researching the effects
of human activity in the Arctic,
and the research is irrefutable.
It will destroy the Arctic
and possibly the rest of the Earth
as we know it.
Olympia, Greene Homes will bring
awareness to the Arctic.
Olympia, let's you and I go hang out
on that comfortable-looking sofa.
Vera, it's official. Just got word.
The Polar Council is a yes!
Oh, okay.
Make the announcement tomorrow.
Time to go public.
We're in. We got approval.
Well, don't all scream at once.
It's not over yet, Norm.
You can still do something.
Shake it up.
Hit Mr. Greene where it hurts,
his wallet.
Where do you think
the investors are right now?
Ha ha. Great job, everyone.
Great job.
It was amazing.
Oh, thanks, guys!
I've got to get Pablo and the investors
to uninvest in Greene.
- Norm!
- Norm!
Aah!
Whoa!
Hi, guys. I'm sorry for just
dropping in on you like this, but--
- Whoa! You're a real bear?
- Uh-huh.
Who can speak?
Yeah, who would have thought?
But I need to come clean
about who I really am
and what I'm really doing here.
We know exactly who you are.
You're Norm of the North.
I am Pablo, and this is
my investment group. Ha ha.
Pablo, building in the Arctic
will destroy my home.
That's where I live.
But the Polar Council, well...
they are very aware of the impact.
You mean this council?
On that note, the floor plans
for your condo in the Bahamas
are already on the way.
And we got those deluxe
showerheads,
oh, it'll wash that guilt right off.
How did you get this?
I had some very small hairy associates
relieve Mr. Greene of his flash drive.
You're corrupt!
You took our money
under false pretense,
and you're as fake
as that ponytail clip-on.
It doesn't matter if I'm corrupt,
because a deal's a deal.
The first four homes are built,
and once they land in the Arctic,
you're contractually obligated
to fund the rest.
If I know Greene,
he'll have the homes transported tonight.
Yeah, and if I know Mr. Greene,
he'll dispose of anything
that reminds him of the Arctic.
You promise to take care
of Vera and Olympia?
I never got a chance
to say goodbye.
Norm, you have my word.
Now get me out of this deal.
We need to get the homes
down to the river.
That old bear? No!
We need to get rid of him
before he can cause any trouble.
Commence
"Operation Kill That Bear."
Just as Pablo predicted.
And just like I predicted.
I bet Grandpa is in that last one.
Whoa!
Ow!
Grandpa!
Where'd he go?
- Norm!
- Grandpa!
Everyone back home
thought you abandoned us,
but Socrates and I always knew
that something happened.
Oh, it's good to see you.
You know, sometimes
when you stick up to The Man,
you get stuck with a tranquilizer dart.
Were you able to stop Greene?
Not yet.
The houses are being
transported tonight.
If we can stop them, maybe we can
stop this whole operation.
Then what the heck
are you doing here?
Norm, don't worry about me.
It's your time now.
Leave me. Go!
Save the Arctic! Save our homes.
You are the Arctic, Grandpa.
Hmm. I must have
weakened them for you.
What do you say
we go save our home?
What?
The Arctic rats?
What?
What do you mean the bear
broke out of the cage?
It's impossible. He's like, 80.
It would have taken two bears to--
What? That isn't Norm!
Get the chopper
and find two polar bears!
How long until the ship leaves?
I don't care
if they're predicting a storm.
Leave now!
The houses are on the way to the Arctic!
We gotta get to them!
Where are we headed?
Same place where I came in.
There they are!
Get ready, Grandpa.
There's our ride home.
If we don't get down there,
it's gonna be a long swim to the Arctic.
Ohh. Hey!
Just shoot those bears.
Greene said to put them
out of their misery
and dump 'em in the ocean.
Wait! Wait!
You guys think we're bears?
You hear that, Grandpa?
Talking polar bears in Manhattan?
Now, come on, guys.
Yeah, maybe our friend
the Easter Bunny's around here, too.
Are you sure they're bears?
They sound like humans to me.
I didn't sign up to shoot real people.
Norm, no matter what happens,
just know that I'm proud of you.
You've come a long way.
You might think you're not a hunter,
but you are.
Your way of hunting is just
different than everyone else.
You're going to make
a great king one day.
I know it.
What's wrong?
We're gonna get this, Norm.
No, sorry. it's not about that.
I-- I'm just worried.
In saving our own home,
I may have ruined someone else's.
I'm just hoping
Vera and Olympia will be okay.
It's beautiful, Mom,
but what will it look like
when you and Mr. Greene
build all those houses there?
"Mr. Greene, I'm sorry,
but I cannot help you destroy
somebody's home
in order to build houses
no one needs.
I quit."
Okay, every office around the world
is ready to feed this.
Are you sure, Pablo?
Yes. Send it now.
We have to dislodge this barge
so we can flip these houses.
These condos must never
reach the Arctic.
Buckle up, guys.
This could get bumpy.
We have to do this, now.
It won't dislodge, it's too rough.
The swells keep pushing it back.
Welcome to the real North Shore!
See you on the other side,
whichever one we get to.
But remember,
whatever happens,
a king always fights
for his home!
Come on, lemmings!
Aah!
A king always fights for his home.
Lemmings! Grandpa!
Talk to me.
What the--
they never got there?
Then where are my condos?
The bottom of the ocean?
Is that some kinda joke?
Two polar bears?
"Greene Homes and Polar Council
under investigations
for bribery charges"?
"Beloved Norm helps reveal sham"?
These condos weren't
for any of you peasants anyway.
They were for the one percent.
The one percent!
Huh, would you look at that?
I'm late for yoga.
Namaste, everybody.
- Janet?
- Whatever.
Janet! Aah!
Help me, you peasants!
Help me!
Don't you know who I am? Huh?
Rats! They're crawling on me!
This is Italian!
Aah!
Look who's out of hibernation.
Son.
Every time I see you,
you've fallen on your butt.
I march to the beat of my own drum.
You know that.
When everyone else stands, I sit.
- Ta-da!
- Lemmings!
You made it!
Where's Grandpa?
Did he...?
We've searched everywhere, Norm.
No.
Norm, you saved our home.
I'm sorry I didn't realize until now,
but we are so proud of you.
The lemmings told us
what you've done.
You used your gift
and you risked your life
to protect ours.
And on behalf of all of us...
thank you.
Remember what we discussed?
A new day dawns upon us.
We need a leader who feels
for the Arctic,
speaks for the Arctic,
and always fights for our home.
Norm, I crown you--
Now just a New York minute.
You can't do this without me.
Grandpa!
They all said you drowned.
I was 80% sure
you were gonna make it.
Now that's what I call
a grand entrance.
The tide took me all the way
to Greenland,
but I hitched a ride with an orca.
He said he was coming back
to audition for Stan.
You need therapy.
I have an opening tomorrow afternoon.
Book yourself in.
Son, please continue.
Norm, I crown you king.
That's my brother! Yeah!
If the clouds clear
and the barometric pressure
is just right...
Wow. I see Magister Mundi
is teaching you
all these fancy new terms already.
I told you I could do it on my own,
without Greene.
Aren't you liking it
without Mr. Greene in your life, too?
Pablo seems like a much better boss.
Well, Norm gave me
a great recommendation.
Oh, my gosh! I can see it!
I can finally see it.
He even looks like Norm.
I miss him, Mom.
Me, too.
But I know he made it home.
I bet he has his own family now.
Isn't it pretty?
Yeah. I wonder if Vera and Olympia
can see this, too.
- Whoa!
- They're beautiful!
I will work this body,
I will run this flesh
In the dead of night
and in the morning mist, yeah! X
Show me what you got
Work this body on the floor--
Wait for it. Wait for it...
Yah! Ta-da!
Show me what you got
Work this body on the oor
Who do you think you are?
Come on,
meet me on the court, yeah!
- Work, work
- Show me what you got
- Work, work
- Work this body on the floor...
Yeah, no time, no time,
no time to lose
You got no time, no time
Listen
Baby, baby,
won't you take my hand?
Don't be afraid
to take a chance
Together there is nothin'
we can't do
To start it up,
get in the groove
Dance, dance, dance
out of control
- You're out of control
- Dance, dance, dance
Just let it go
Everybody, let me speak free,
be who you wanna be
- Stand up and shout
- Shout it out
Jump up, get down,
move your body all around
- Let your crazy out
- Let your crazy...
Let me speak free,
be who you wanna be
Shout it, shout it,
shout it out loud
- Shout it out
- Do it, do it, do it right now
- Do it right now
- Push it, push it, push it on through
- Push it on through
- Said there's no time to lose
No time, no time,
no time to lose
You got no time, no time,
no time to lose
- You got no time
- You got no time to lose.