Norm of the North: King Sized Adventure (2019) Movie Script

1
[screams]
[screams]
[chittering]
[laughing]
[giggles]
[grunts]
Missed me.
[squeaking]
[chittering]
[thunder rumbling]
[plane engine whirs]
[chuckles]
Why are you doing this, Dexter?
We were partners.
The artifacts...
- Should be mine.
- [Jin] No!
It belongs to the people.
Well, I'm a people.
And I know how to make
a fortune from it.
[Jin grunts]
You'll make us both crash.
[Norm] Sorry, kids.
Running late.
Got to see Grandpa.
[groans]
Whoa. No. No.
- [chittering, groaning]
- [Norm] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[screaming]
[chittering]
Sorry, Pete and Belle.
Didn't see ya.
[chittering]
[panting]
I'm late. I'm late.
Oh, gosh.
I got to get to Grandpa.
I'm late.
He's gone. Oh, great.
He's right there.
It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
I got it. Hi, Grandpa.
I got... I got...
[panting]
You're late.
Sorry, Grandpa.
Is everything all right?
More than all right.
I have a request of you, Norm.
Uh, it doesn't involve
trimming your nose hairs again,
- does it?
- [Grandpa chuckles] No.
I want you, as king,
to preside over a wedding.
Sure. Whose?
Mine!
You know that Judith and I
have been spending
a lot of time together.
And I've come to realize
that I love her
and she loves me.
And we want to marry.
And according to tradition,
since you are king,
I am asking your approval.
My approval, eh?
Hmm.
Well, you know what I say.
I say abso-bear-lutely.
This is fantastic.
A wedding,
followed by, uh,
a wedding party.
Let's do it.
When? Tonight?
According to tradition,
a former king's wedding
can only occur
under the special glow
- of the Aurora Borealis.
- The Northern Lights.
So many colors,
red, green, uh, blue green,
uh, sort of a yellowy green.
Um, I guess really mostly green.
Uh, Norm! Norm!
Stop naming colors.
The Aurora Borealis
is due to occur
in exactly six days.
Six days? Got it.
I'm so happy for you,
and for you, Judith.
Now, are you sure
you'll be there
to perform the ceremony?
Your word is your bond.
And in things,
both large and small,
giving your word
and being true to your word
means everything.
Yes.
Your subjects must know
that when a king says
he will be somewhere
or do something,
he will not let them down.
Well said, Socrates.
Hmm. I got it.
Plus, I need to set an example.
My family and the bears
of my kingdom look up to me.
And, hey, hey,
we got a wedding coming up.
I need to let
my human pals know.
Don't worry, I got this.
[Norm screams]
- [thudding]
- [Norm groaning]
Oh. Ow. It hurts. Ow.
[phone ringing]
[phone beeps]
Hey, Olympia, Vera.
Hi, Fong.
- Hi, Norm.
- Hello.
Wonderful to see you.
What's up?
Big stuff.
My Grandpa is getting married.
[gasping]
A later-in-life marriage,
such a beautiful thing.
Oh, we'll have to get a gift
for the happy couple.
Uh, bears don't do
the gift thing.
We have everything we need,
snow, ice, fish.
Uh, more snow,
more ice, more fish.
Okay.
Then what about the reception?
Have you made plans?
Yup. We plan to have it
in six days.
- [chuckles]
- Never mind. We'll help out.
Any ideas about food,
decorations, entertainment?
Yes. Those would be good.
Okay, then great.
So you'll all come?
- [Vera] Of course, we will.
- [Olympia] Mm-hmm.
Because we're always there
for each other.
And I know when you say
you'll be here,
it's a promise, right?
Yes. Of course.
And a promise means
giving your word.
- And your word is your bond.
- Norm,
we said we'd be there
and we'll be there.
Great. So, just to be clear,
I have your word on this?
- [all] Mm-hmm.
- [Norm] Say it.
[all] You have our word.
[beeping]
Hey! It's the new app
I put on your phone, Pop.
It tracks UFOs.
[phone beeping]
- What's that?
- You know, Pops,
Unidentified Flying Objects,
spaceships, aliens.
No, I mean what's an app?
It's a digitally-downloaded
application that...
It's a special thing
your phone does.
The app is telling me that
we've got some flying objects.
[beeping quickens]
[beeping stops]
And now they're gone.
Weird.
Some strange doings over
by Misty Mountain Glacier.
Uh, why would anyone even wanna
go to Misty Mountain Glacier?
It's so misty and mountain-y
and, uh, glacier-y.
[wind howling]
It is indeed
a strange and dangerous place.
Some blizzards, avalanches,
shrouded by fog.
Sounds cool, I'm in.
[both] Uh-huh.
[Norm] Nope.
This is a job for a king,
which I am.
And I gave my word
to protect this kingdom,
and I will keep my word
- because...
- Pop... Just go, okay?
Yes, I will. Alone.
As befits a king.
I'm not, uh, afraid.
Uh...
Okay.
[wind howling]
[grunts]
I got this.
I got this.
Huh?
Hey, no lemmings.
This is a solo mission.
[chittering]
Guys, this is a dangerous place.
- [wind howling]
- Hear that?
Blizzard winds.
- [wind howling]
- [chittering]
Now, go!
[chittering]
[wind howling]
Hmm?
[laughing]
[wind howling]
I wonder what happened
to the pilot.
[sniffing]
Oh, footprints.
[beeping]
[gasps]
Aha.
[beeping]
Aha!
[grunts]
[rumbling]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[rumbling]
[groans]
[Norm groans]
- [beeping]
- Huh?
Hmm.
This is what little dude
must have been looking for.
Hey! Are you okay?
[Jin groaning]
[Norm] Oh, this can't be good.
[grunts]
[sighs]
[groans]
- Hey, there!
- [gasps]
A talking polar bear?
You must be Norm of the North.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Except I got this promotion.
Not a big deal.
But I'm now
King Norm of the North.
And I believe
this belongs to you.
Oh, thank goodness.
This has to be returned
to China immediately.
Well, no way we're getting out
of this cave until morning,
when the sun
warms the ice a bit
and makes the digging out
easier. Hmm.
- [groans]
- Whoa. You okay?
Just a little shaken
by the cave-in
and woozy from the plane crash.
What are you doing out here?
This place is dangerous
and misty.
I dropped this down here
because someone was trying
to steal it from me.
[thud]
[chuckles]
[thunder rumbling]
[gasps]
[Jin] I'd flown
so far off course,
I ran out of gas.
[alarm blaring]
I landed it as best I could.
Yeah, I saw your plane
down by the... Wait.
You threw this valuable artifact
thing out the window?
Yes, but it had a computer chip
so I knew I could find it again.
And I did, here in this cave,
but then the cave-in occurred.
I feel great shame and sorrow.
[Norm] Well, who's trying
to steal it form you?
A man named Dexter.
He and I were partners.
Curators of antiquity in China
at a university museum.
But a few years ago,
I noticed that
some of the antiquities
had gone missing.
And I suspected that
they had been stolen.
Dexter swore he knew nothing
about these thefts,
but I had my suspicions.
I placed computer chips
on all the antiquities.
Should one get stolen,
I would be able to track
its location.
My suspicions about Dexter
soon proved to be true.
I caught him red-handed
selling off an ancient relic.
Fired by the university board,
Dexter left in disgrace.
You see,
the artifact is of great value.
Beyond the kind
that money can bring.
It is the key to
the hidden treasures
of ancient Chinese emperors
contained within
the Mountain of Nine Cauldrons.
And it must be returned
to China immediately
so it can used for an event
that occurs
but once every hundred years.
[groans]
Promise me something, Norm.
If I don't make it,
you will see that this gets
to my grandson, Chen.
Uh, what are you talking about?
You said it yourself,
you'll make it just fine.
But if I don't,
Chen lives in Beijing,
teaches at the university.
Beijing, university, got it.
If you don't make it,
I'll give the artifact to him.
- Promise?
- For sure.
Hmm.
- I have your word?
- Absolutely.
You can count on me.
I'm a king,
and a king's word is his bond.
Hmm.
Can you just say it?
I give you my word.
You have my word.
Consider it given.
You're gonna be just fine.
Now, come on,
let's get you warmed up.
Here we go. All right,
let's scoot over here.
- Sorry.
- [Jin groans]
Pardon me.
You all right there?
Norm, you're crushing me.
[grunts]
- [bones crack]
- [yawns]
Hey, Jin, wakey-wakey!
We could try
and dig our way out now.
[groans]
Hmm?
[jackhammer pounding]
[screams]
Ah!
[grunts] Lemmings!
[chittering]
Hold it.
Uh, I'm worried
about another cave-in
if there's any kind of digging.
Might be best to wait for the
sun to melt the ice some more,
unless you have a better idea.
- [all] Hmm?
- Pee-pee!
- [peeing]
- [groans]
Uh, just a tip.
If you get thirsty,
don't eat the yellow snow.
[cracking]
Okay. Hold it. Stop!
The melting was good,
but there's too much cracking.
[cracking]
[rumbling]
Never mind me.
Save this.
[sighs]
Safe and sound.
[rumbling]
Look out!
[gasps]
[grunts]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I got this. I got this.
[creaking]
[grunts]
[sighs]
Wouldn't wanna have
to do that again.
Uh, the artifact?
Got it right... Hmm?
[sighs]
[creaks]
[grunts]
Okay.
[grunts]
[grunts]
Thanks.
Yes.
[rumbling]
[pants]
[grunts]
[screaming]
[groans]
[groans]
[gasps]
I need to catch my breath.
Sure. Sure.
Hey, you'll be okay.
I'll get you back to home base,
warm you up.
I've got human friends coming.
Anything you need,
anything you want.
There's but one thing
I need or want,
for you to keep you promise
and return this to Beijing.
- Hmm.
- [groans]
[Dexter] Well, well, well.
Jin.
I say, not looking so good,
old chap.
Oh, I'll have that artifact
if you don't mind.
[laughs]
I see you've made friends
with the famous dancing bear.
Norm, isn't it?
That's King Norm,
thank you very much.
And, no,
you may not have the artifact.
[chuckles]
You don't really want old Jin
to get hit with a venom dart,
do you?
[gasps]
Probably not.
Venom's a bad thing, right?
Very.
These particular darts
are soaked in the venom
of my trained Komodo dragons,
Mayhem and Chaos.
Yeah, he's got your eyes.
And my nose.
[chuckles]
Their venom is highly toxic.
In his weakened state,
Jin's chances of surviving
would be...
Oh, I don't know.
About zero.
[laughs]
Now, the artifact,
if you don't mind.
- No, Norm, don't.
- [chittering]
[laughs]
- [sighs]
- [chittering]
- [chittering]
- [gun cocks]
[laughs]
Are these rodents your henchmen?
Your muscle?
[grunts]
Oh, no.
[laughs]
Hey, what are you...
[laughs]
No.
[screams]
[laughs]
[chittering]
[gasps]
Oh, no.
[grunting]
[Dexter] My precious artifact,
give it to me!
Aha!
[grunts]
[grunting]
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.
That's mine!
[chuckles]
[Dexter grunts]
[beeping]
What?
May I see the desert menu,
please, miss?
- [squeaking]
- [thud]
[snores]
[Dexter laughs]
I'll have that now.
Thank you,
you ursine buffoon.
[Jin] No, Dexter.
Think of the Chinese people
and their treasure.
Oh, I am.
And how much money I'll have
after I loot it and sell it.
[laughs]
[groans]
[chittering]
[groans]
- [Jin groans]
- Huh?
Huh?
[groans]
[wolves howling]
Huh?
Oh.
Take care of my friend, okay?
Keep him warm and let him rest.
You got it, King Norm.
[groans]
[chittering]
[Norm] Hey, kids!
I'm sure you were all worried,
me being gone all night
after venturing
to the mysterious
Misty Mountain Glacier.
[all] Uh... Hmm?
And then the blizzard.
- Um, not really.
- [Olympia] Hi, Norm.
- There you are.
- Norm.
- So good to see you, my friend.
- [laughs]
Where were you?
I tried calling and calling.
- Uh, oops. I had it turned off.
- [phone chimes]
[phone ringing]
[echoing]
Uh, hi, Olympia.
It was a difficult flight.
Very blizzardy.
Now, then, I wanna get
some establishing shots
for the video.
Where's the space
that the wedding will be held?
Space?
Um, no,
we're doing it down here.
Oh, are you doing it
"al fresco"?
- I'm sorry, Al who?
- She means outside, Norm.
Well, yeah.
Pretty much everything
around here is outside.
Except for caves.
Uh, but I've seen enough
of those to last me a year.
Yes, this whole area
will be prefect.
The ceremony here.
The band here.
All backlit
by the Aurora Borealis. Oh!
[gasps]
I just remembered.
While all this planning's
going on,
I have to be somewhere else.
I gave my word.
I said I'd deliver
an old artifact
for my human friend, Jin,
to his grandson in Beijing.
Ooh, I love artifacts.
Let's see it.
Well, it kind of got stolen away
by this bad human named Dexter.
So, how will you deliver
an artifact to Beijing
that you don't have?
Well, that's the tricky part.
First step, find Dexter.
Second, get the artifact back.
Third, get it to Chen,
Jin's grandson.
But surely all that can wait
until after the wedding.
Nope.
Well, that is gonna make
the wedding planning
and shooting of the video
rather difficult.
Since we don't speak bear.
[Quinn] But I speak human.
I've got it covered, Pops.
I'll take charge.
I mean, I am your oldest
and next in line to be king.
I guess, sure.
Okay, Quinn, you're in charge.
Way to go, Quinn.
My good pal is acting king.
[scoffs]
I'm afraid I won't be doing
any high fives
while I'm king, Olympia.
And though we are friends,
I must be there
first and foremost
for all of my subjects.
- This is not gonna end well.
- Uh-uh.
Okay, so how do I find Dexter?
His plane crashed,
so the only way out of here is...
- [helicopter whirring]
- Huh?
Helicopter.
My helicopter!
[laughs]
[pants]
[grunts]
- [sighs]
- [chittering]
Huh?
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
- Norm, how is it going?
[Norm] Oh, fine.
Just hanging out
on Fong's helicopter.
Did you get the artifact back?
It's practically
right in my paws.
How's it going there?
Well, Quinn is really taking
his job of being in charge
pretty seriously.
[grunting]
I'm supposed to handle
some of the food stuff.
Quinn wanted me to ask
what kind of fish you prefer
for the main course.
No. No. No. Ow. My butt!
Huh? What is, "Ow-my-butt"?
No, no. I said, um, halibut!
It's my halibut song.
It's a, you know, I sing...
Oh... [imitates static]
Bad connection. Sorry.
Uh... [imitates static]
Bye.
[dial tone]
Uh-uh.
[sniffs]
[groans] You call
these salmon eggs fresh?
And they're not
free range either.
- Throw them all out.
- [groans]
I knew this would happen.
Give him a little power...
[polar bear]
You're not the boss of me.
No, I'm not.
I'm the boss of everyone.
Oh, he just loves to play
the next-in-line-to-the-throne
card.
Listen up, everyone,
with Dad away,
I'm calling the shots.
I am next in line to the throne.
- You think?
- [groans]
[teeth chattering]
Hey, lemmings,
I know the fresh air is great,
but I can't help but feel
it would be more comfy
inside the helicopter.
[lemmings chittering]
[door whirs]
[grunts]
[laughs]
Oh, there you are, my precious.
- Dexter here. Yes?
- [indistinct radio chatter]
Yes, I've got it
and I'll be landing
in Beijing in a few hours.
[indistinct radio chatter]
Just make sure you
and the other buyers
have your checkbooks ready.
[indistinct radio chatter]
Going to Beijing, perfect!
That's where Jin's grandson,
Chen, lives.
I just have to grab the artifact
when the time is right.
Which means this king
is gonna take
a royal nap until then.
[sighs] Wake me
when we're getting close.
[sighs]
[snoring]
[all] Ah.
[snores]
Hmm?
Blimey!
Altitude must be getting to me.
[chittering]
Hmm.
Aha!
No! No!
[groans]
[grunts]
I bet you pack of snow rats
aren't alone, are you?
- [Norm snoring]
- [gasps]
[laughs]
Toodleydoo.
[laughs]
[groans]
[laughs]
- Huh?
- [door rattles]
[chittering]
[Dexter screams]
Huh?
[yawns]
[sniffs]
Huh?
Mm.
Don't mind if I do.
[sighs]
Crazy dream I had.
Oh, no.
[grunts]
[screams]
[chittering]
[Dexter screaming]
[groans]
Lemming's piloting,
never a good thing.
[screams]
[screaming]
Got to get back on there.
How am I gonna do that?
Huh?
[groans]
Oh!
- [phone ringing]
- [groans] My head is ringing.
Norm residence,
whom shall I say is calling?
Norm, you sound funny.
How's it going?
[Norm] Great,
very relaxing trip.
Tell Fong his helicopter
is in good hands.
Good, tiny hands.
I thought we discussed this?
No phone calls.
You got to obey your king.
You're not my king, Quinn.
And anyhow,
you're only acting king.
And kinda
acting like a jerk on top of it.
- I am?
- [seal barks]
Oh. Nevertheless,
I am to be obeyed.
"Nevertheless?"
What kind of bear says
words like nevertheless?
[grunts]
[squeals]
[laughs]
What the...
Climb!
[grunts]
[grunts]
[groans]
Whoa!
[grunts]
Whoa! [grunts]
[phone ringing]
King Norm here, at the tone,
please leave your name
and number
- and...
- [Olympia] Hey!
Norm, it's me again.
Quinn keeps confiscating
my phone.
This is so stressful.
Out of the way, lemmings,
King Quinn coming through.
[screams]
[splash]
[Quinn groans]
[laughing]
[Olympia] You have no idea
how easy you've got it.
Yup, lucky me.
[laughs]
[gasps]
Here's Normy!
Oh, no! [grunts]
Now, where's the artifact?
Somewhere you'll never find it.
[chittering]
[both grunting]
[grunting]
[Norm grunts]
- [crashing]
- [Norm and Dexter groaning]
[groans]
You want it, don't you?
Well, let's see how much.
No! You wouldn't dare drop it.
Hmm, you're right.
But I'd sure throw it!
No!
[screams]
Or pretend to anyhow.
[laughs]
The old lemming
dodge ball fake throw.
[screams]
[gasps]
Fooled by a stupid bear.
[grunts]
Those sacks
would make for a soft landing.
- [wind howls]
- Wind.
[Dexter screams]
Any landing's a good landing.
[groans]
[growls]
[laughs]
Next stop, Beijing.
Drop off the artifact to Chen
at the university,
then fly home in plenty of time
for the Aurora Borealis
and Grandpa's wedding.
Never flew one these
kinda copters before.
But how hard can it be?
Whoa!
You three, now that
you've cleared the area,
I need you to smooth it out
for a dance floor.
Flat, but not slippery.
Fong...
Oh, I already know
what my job will be.
I will make a sculpture
of the beautiful
bride and groom.
You can sculpt?
That is how I earned a living
while in business school.
You know the Statue of Liberty?
You sculpted that?
Uh, no, but I could see it
from my window
- at business school.
- Get Mr. Fong
a block of ice to sculpt.
[sawing]
[seal barks]
Too messy and random.
Make it neat and fancy.
We're not barbarians after all.
[music playing]
Chase, how is the music coming?
Well, thanks to Mr. Fong,
we got a whole
human sound system set up.
Check it out. I downloaded
some majorly awesome beats.
[music gets louder]
[both] Huh?
- Oh, yeah! You feel me?
- [music stops]
[equipment screeches]
- [Quinn] I hate it.
- [groaning]
Too undignified.
Hey, you lemmings
have been pretty quiet lately.
You just resting and enjoying
the flight? [chuckles]
[vomiting]
Now,
where can that university be?
Hey.
Excuse me,
how do I get to the university?
Study. Lots and lots of study.
Hey, there it is.
No wonder
they call it an institution
of higher learning,
it's up on a hill.
[laughs] Hey, get it?
[laughs]
[stomachs churning]
Nothing, really?
[groaning]
[vomiting]
So, anybody know
how to land this thing?
- [chittering]
- I'll take that as a no.
Ah, how hard could it be?
[beeping]
We're good, we're good,
we're good.
Here we go.
I'll just ease this baby down
onto to the... Whoa!
[groans]
Everybody okay?
- [lemmings groaning]
- Hmm?
[squeak]
Huh?
[Chen] Now,
in our study of archaeology,
we've discussed many treasures,
but this artifact
is the most special of all.
[indistinct chatter]
By placing the artifact
in its sacred spot,
one can gain access
to the treasures
housed within the
Mountain of Nine Cauldrons
for thousands of years.
[man] How come no one's
ever seen these treasures?
Nobody has seen them
in your lifetime or mine,
but that is about
to change tonight.
The ancient emperors
used the magic of 17 sorcerers,
so that the people would be able
to gaze upon its contents
just once every 100 years.
For one day and night,
from sunset to sunset,
the mountain reveals
the nine tripod cauldrons
and all the other treasures
of our ancestors.
[crowd gasping]
And the key to the mountain
revealing itself
is this artifact.
[man] So, where is the artifact
now then?
Well, it's been on display
in a museum in Canada,
but I have every confidence
it will be back here
before sunset.
[sighs] I know you'll make it
back in time, Grandfather.
I just know it.
- [bell ringing]
- Huh?
Uh, class dismissed.
[indistinct chatter]
[Norm] Oh, oh, pardon me.
All right,
let's scoot over here.
Pardon me. You all right there?
Oh, journey complete, lemmings.
A king always keeps his word
and we've delivered the artifact
safe and...
[screams]
[Norm screams]
[groans]
[brays]
As I was saying, safe and sound.
Ah!
Professor Chen, I presume?
No. My... Nobody named Chen.
You must have
the wrong classroom.
[woman] Professor Chen,
I will see you tomorrow.
Hey, I get it,
you don't get many talking
polar bears around here.
But relax,
I have something for you.
No, I don't want it.
I want nothing from you.
It's not from me,
it's from your grandfather, Jin.
My grandfather is nothing
but an old fool.
And a thief
who steals artifacts.
Now, please, go away.
You got that wrong,
your granddad's a good guy,
but I tell you,
there's this guy named Dexter,
now, he's the real thief
and a lowlife, a terrible guy.
If you ever see him
coming your way,
cross the street,
do not look back.
- [clears throat]
- Anyhow, I gave my word,
so here.
I have forgotten
how beautiful it is.
[Dexter] Isn't it, though?
[snarling]
[Dexter laughs]
Allow me to introduce you
to Chaos and Mayhem.
- Komodo dragons.
- Oh, yeah.
I saw their baby pictures.
They grow up so fast.
[snarling]
[whimpering]
[farts]
[sniffs]
[farting]
[chuckles, gags]
[groans]
Bravo.
Oh, I say,
you do know your reptiles.
Then you're well aware
that the Komodos
are unabashed carnivores.
Feeding on creatures
as small as mice
and as large as deer.
Or even humans, for that matter.
Yeah, well, not polar bears.
No. Well, not yet anyway.
They tend to live too far south
to ever have encountered one.
Oh, but Chaos seems
rather interested
in sampling a new dish.
[laughs]
Mayhem, the artifact.
I was trying to signal you
to go away.
Dexter had his weapon on me
the whole time.
No wonder
you were acting all fidgety.
I thought
it was the bear thing.
My Komodos will stay behind
and keep you company.
They have their instructions,
one move and they attack.
And you don't want that.
[snarling]
Dexter, you and my grandfather
were partners.
You respected
the world's artifacts.
The treasures of the mountain
belong to the people.
And as I told your grandfather,
I'm a people.
And they will all be mine.
Komodos... Fassen!
[snarling]
Toodle-ooh.
[laughs]
[door opens]
Dexter will head for the
mountain and use the artifact
to gain entry and rob it blind.
Well, then we just
got to stop him.
How? Those are Komodo dragons
and they mean business.
They're deadly.
Yeah, and they eat animals.
Bet they never tasted anything
as delicious as lemmings.
They're so tender and tasty.
They're both sweet and sour.
Crispy on the outside,
creamy on the inside.
Woo! Way to go, lemmings.
[thud]
[automated voice] Log entry,
saving and uploading.
[snarling]
- [screaming]
- Lemmings!
[screams]
[snarling]
[screaming]
- [lemmings chittering]
- [snarling]
[boat engine revving]
[Chen] The river leads right to
the Mountain
of the Nine Cauldrons.
Look, I've had no time
to ask you,
but my grandfather,
why didn't he return
the artifact himself?
Oh, well, uh, that's because
he was a little
under the weather.
Because of, uh,
a cave-in, uh, mostly,
and being trapped all night
in the freezing cave
and then he kind of passed out,
so he might be unconscious
or, uh, I don't know, um,
in a coma?
What? Will he make it?
Sure he will.
[monkeys chatter]
Ow, what? Oh.
[monkeys howling]
Hey. Ow! Cut it...
[grunts]
Hmm, mm, oh. Mm. Oh, tasty.
Huh? Wow!
Woohoo!
[monkeys chatter]
Hey there, little buddy.
Oh, I see you brought
your friends.
- [chittering]
- [chatting]
Look! Dexter.
I'm Norm.
- No. I mean, look, Dexter.
- Oh.
- [helicopter whirs]
- Oh.
[chatters]
Oh, I doubt we can beat him
to the mountain.
Not at this speed.
[engine revs]
[chittering]
- [screaming]
- Look out!
[sighs] I knew something bad
must've happened.
He made a sacred vow
that he would bring
the artifact back to Beijing,
in time for the 100-year opening
of the Mountain
of the Nine Cauldrons.
- He gave his word.
- But then he made me
give my word
that I'd get the artifact to you
if he couldn't, and I did.
So it's kind of like him
keeping his word.
Sure, except that now
Dexter has the artifact.
And if it gets to the mountain
before we do
- and steals all its treasures...
- That won't happen.
When a king, that's me,
gives his word, which I did,
- then nothing is gonna stop him.
- [fog horn blaring]
Except for maybe that!
Look out!
Look out! Look...
[screams]
Uncle Stan, you should be
rehearsing the wedding song,
not, uh...
What are you doing anyway?
[gargling]
Uh, gargling with ice water.
It's good for my instrument.
- Fine.
- [seal farts]
The rehearsal starts
in 10 minutes.
[gargling]
[Quinn shrieks]
Oh, no!
[groaning]
The only way
to access the treasure
is to land at its base
and climb to the cavern opening.
Then we can beat him there.
Lemmings, do your thing.
[chittering]
You can't run a boat on land,
it has no wheels.
The laws of physics
make it impossible.
I'm a king, I don't obey laws,
I make them.
[screaming]
[lemmings screaming]
[groaning]
Dexter's not
gonna climb up to the cavern,
he's gonna climb down to it.
Climb aboard.
He takes the high road,
we take the low road.
Hang on tight.
[Norm grunts]
[laughs]
[grunts, laughs]
[grunts]
[grunting]
[phone ringing]
- [phone beeps]
- Norm here.
[Stan vocalizing]
[clears throat]
Norm, I forgot to ask,
do you want iceberg
lettuce salad,
or cream of snow soup
for your first course?
- [Norm] Either one is fine.
- [Stan vocalizing]
[Olympia]
Why is your voice so weird?
[Norm] Probably bad signal
on your mountain.
Oh, hey, Norm, just FYI,
the Aurora Borealis
isn't too many hours away,
and you need to get back,
so I can get some footage
of you and the happy couple
just as it begins to rise
in the background.
Right, I'll do my best.
[Vera giggles]
Oh, we may have to post
this wedding video online.
Something tells me it's gonna be
the Arctic Tundra's
social event of the year.
Uh, Mom, it's going to be
the Arctic Tundra's
only social event of the year.
[grunts] Even better, uh,
signal's breaking up.
- Got to go.
- [phone beeps]
[grunts]
[screams]
Again, the laws of physics.
Physics shmysics.
When you're a king,
you make the rules.
[grunts]
- [sighs]
- [phone ringing]
[Olympia] Norm, it's hideous.
The most horrible thing ever.
- What is?
- [Olympia] Your brother Stan's
- singing.
- [Stan vocalizing]
If you can call it that.
It's indescribable.
Give me a sign!
[vocalizing]
[Norm] That's Grandpa's
favorite song.
I can't believe Stan
remembers the tune
and all the lyrics.
Tune?
Lyrics?
Seriously?
[phone beeps]
How many times
must I tell you, no phones!
There's still work to do!
Oh, for the love of...
[screams]
[lemmings chittering]
[groans]
[grunts]
Wait, Norm.
I just remembered something
my grandfather told me.
This corridor is protected
by ancient booby traps.
You sure?
Then how did Dexter...
[screams]
Oh, oh, oh.
Close. [yelps] Too close,
too close. Whoa. Oh!
[pants]
Okay, I think you're right
about the booby-traps.
Dexter knew how to avoid them.
As would my grandfather.
Uh, maybe Olympia
can get him on the phone
- and, uh... Oh, no signal.
- [phone beeps]
Uh, uh, but, hey,
a couple of smart guys like us,
we can do this.
It says,
"Yin or yang, choose wisely."
Huh. I think it means
you either step
only on the red stones
- or on the blue stones.
- Well, that narrows it down.
Okay, so we've ruled out
stepping on the red stones.
Ipso facto, blue means go.
[groans]
No? Okay, no.
I don't know, I'm okay.
[lemmings whimper]
[screams]
[whimpering]
[grunts]
[sighs]
That was close.
Oh, you know, I think that's it
for the booby traps.
[clicking, rumbling]
[screaming]
Okay, so maybe not.
[gasps]
- [metal clanking]
- Don't move.
Oh, come on.
Okay, that's it, right?
[sighs]
[Dexter] Oh, Chen, bravo!
You and your circus bear,
managing to survive the traps.
Circus bear?
I'm sure that's an insult,
- but I'm not sure why.
- Don't do it, Dexter.
My grandfather told me
you were once an honorable
and good man.
[Dexter] Oh, yes.
Good and poor.
But then I saw
the error of my ways.
These silly antiquities
are worth a fortune
to collectors.
So you sold out your partner,
his entire country,
and your principles
- for a little money?
- No, a lot of money.
The treasures contained
in this mountain
are worth a fortune!
[snarling]
[gasps]
[Dexter chuckles]
Of course you remember
Chaos and Mayhem.
Hmm, seems that
whatever you did to them earlier
has made them eager
- for some payback.
- [Chen] Wait, it won't work.
It's not sunset,
it's not time yet.
Oh, on the contrary,
it's the perfect time.
You see, the mountain
is already starting to glow,
and that means
it's right for the plucking.
And there's nothing
you can do to stop me.
Oh, yeah?
[grunts]
Oh, I should have mentioned,
there's a trap or two
that you missed.
[laughs]
[snarling]
[grunts]
[laughs]
No.
Huh?
[murmurs]
[grunts]
What is wrong with this thing?
Maybe it needs new batteries.
[laughs]
Wait.
He's right.
They're in ancient Mandarin.
"Herein lie the Nine Cauldrons
and the treasures
of the ancient emperors.
Their beauty to be gazed upon,
but once every 100 years."
All right. So open up
and show me the beauty.
You didn't read the fine print.
What? This gibberish?
[gasps]
It's the secret language
of the ancient emperors
themselves.
I don't know that language.
[Norm] Ooh, sounds like someone
wasn't paying attention
in class that day.
[lemmings] Mm-hmm.
"The Nine Cauldrons
represent honor,
so to only a person of honor,
in both word and deed,
may access the treasure
within the mountain."
Your old-time emperors
were just like ours.
We always keep our word.
Looks like
you're out of luck, Dexter.
Since you have no honor,
the mountain has rejected you.
But you, Chen, goody two-shoes,
such a man of honor.
Surely, it will open for you.
[phone ringing]
Yeah, that's my phone.
Uh, sorry, guys.
I need to take this.
Uh, hey. Hey.
Uh, no.
Uh, I really can't talk,
but everything's...
- [gunshot]
- Ow.
Sure doesn't sound
like everything's okay.
[groans]
- Tick tock, Chen, do it!
- [snarling]
No, I won't.
- Good for you, Chen.
- You're willing
to give your life
to deprive me of the treasure.
- On the other hand...
- [snarling]
Okay.
This is weird.
These big black metal pots.
The Nine Cauldrons.
[gasps]
- [phone beeps]
- [groans] Lost the signal.
The Nine Cauldrons.
The mountain is opening.
- [groans]
- [growls]
And now all that treasure
shall be mine.
- [laughs]
- No, it won't.
I made a promise to Chen that
that would never happen.
I gave my word!
[growls]
Chaos, Mayhem, attack!
[snarling]
[screams]
No!
[chittering]
[farting]
[screaming]
[pants]
Oh, no. This isn't fair!
I have buyers lined up
for these treasures.
I gave them my word.
You respect that, right?
My grandfather told me
you're only as good
as your word.
But I guess that also means
your word is only
as good as you are.
And you, Dexter,
are not very good.
[laughing]
Can't fool the mountain,
it was built by emperors.
And it looks like
your ancient emperors
are keeping their word.
My grandfather
will be very pleased.
My grandfather won't be.
Not if I don't get back
to the North in time
for his wedding.
I gave my word.
Oh, where is Norm?
The wedding needs to start soon.
Not to worry,
I'm almost finished.
Okay, everyone?
Take your places.
Chop chop,
our guests are arriving.
Come on, this is
a happy occasion, a wedding.
- [grumbling]
- Why is everyone so down?
[Olympia] Maybe it has something
to do with you, Quinn.
- And your bossiness.
- Hey.
Heavy is the head
that wears the crown.
And swollen is the head
that let's power go to it, hmm?
[laughing]
[Stan singing]
[phone ringing]
[Norm] Yello.
[Olympia] Norm, where are you?
- Flying home.
- [Olympia] You are?
Well, I'm in Fong's chopper.
Great, because the Aurora
Borealis will be starting soon,
and I can't stand
any more of Quinn's bossiness,
or any more
of Stan's singing.
[Stan singing]
[speaker screeches]
Of course.
[grunts] I think
this helicopter took
a lot more damage than we think.
Look out.
Geese. Goose.
Whoa!
[geese honking]
Well, well, the nerve.
Geese have the right-of-way,
thank you.
So much
for the windshield wipers.
Can't see a thing.
Lemmings, need your help.
Oh, look how much cleaner it is.
It's not clean, it's gone.
Still, you got to admit
that it's a lot easier to see.
Those clouds, that mountain...
- Mountain?
- [beeping]
[whimpers]
Here we go.
Good as new, eh?
You're gonna have
to step on the gas.
How fast are we going?
Speedometer is broken,
but I'd say pretty fast.
[geese honking]
We're not even flying
at goose speed.
- We gotta go faster.
- Okay,
but I'm not sure
the helicopter can take it.
[phone ringing]
[Olympia] Norm, everybody
is getting nervous.
You need to be here.
- Are you okay?
- [Olympia] Yes, I'm fine.
Uh, not you, Chen.
- [Olympia] Who's Chen?
- I'm, uh...
Vision's a little blurry,
but I'm not sure
- if I can still...
- Fear not. I'll take over.
[Olympia]
That's what I'm saying.
You need to get here
and take over.
Uh, okay.
I'm on my way.
[screams]
- Okay. No, I got this.
- What's going on?
Okay.
Just need to really
put on the gas.
[vomiting]
[indistinct chatter]
[clears throat]
Punch bowl needs a refill.
Mm-hmm.
Wedding singer, in place.
Maria, Chase, stand over there
to greet and see
any late comers.
With pleasure, Your Heinie-ness.
Boy, will I be glad
when dad's back
and Quinn's demoted back down
to dumb older brother.
- [laughs]
- [Quinn] I heard that!
What's wrong?
I think we're running
out of gas.
[Norm] Come on. Come on!
[Vera]
So, what's the backup plan
if Norm doesn't show up in time?
There is no backup plan.
Norm gave his word,
he will be here...
I hope.
Oh, I suppose
I could edit the video
to make it look like
he was here.
Mom, forget the video,
an Aurora Borealis
can last as little
as 10 minutes.
The wedding ceremony
has to begin,
- like, now.
- [helicopter whirring]
[Norm and Chen screaming]
[screaming]
[grunts]
[groans]
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's get
you two lovebirds hitched.
And by the power vested in me
as King of the North,
I, Norm, pronounce you two
bear and wife.
Now, plant one on her, Grandpa.
[violins playing]
[cheering]
[woman] Oh, they're such
a beautiful couple.
[indistinct chatter]
[blows nose]
Such a beautiful bear
Such beautiful fair
Her eyes glow like glaciers
When I look at her
Well, it was kind of
touch and go there for a while,
but I made it back in time
and kept my word.
[Jin] You certainly did.
And you even brought my grandson
to this joyous occasion.
You are truly a great king,
and have honored
the great emperor's China
with what you have done.
Thank you, and as King,
I have something to say
to my subjects.
[trumpets blaring]
Attention, everyone, King Norm
has a royal pronouncement.
[indistinct chatter]
- Let's get this party started!
- [cheering]
[music playing]
We're in the zone
We are on fire
With great big ice
Jump even higher
Shake and move
Out of control
Dancing off
To the North Pole
With family together
We're stronger
So let it go,
Don't wait any longer
Electricity's in the air
The king is back,
Our favorite bear
Don't stop me,
Don't drop me
Let's have
Some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
It's gonna be all right
Don't stop me...
We're running low on salmon.
You're not in-charge anymore.
You want fish...
then go fish,
your former highness.
Heavy is the head
that wears the crown.
Or the bucket.
[laughing]
Move and shake,
Start it from your bones
Fix it up,
You all made it home
With family together
We're stronger
Close 'em tight,
Don't even wonder...
Sure am proud of my grandson.
I know what you mean.
I'm proud of mine as well.
Don't drop
Let's have
some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
Gonna be all right...
Come on, Dad,
show us some moves.
[all] Go Norm, go Norm, go Norm,
go Norm, go Norm,
go Norm, go Norm,
go Norm, go Norm...
Shaking it, shaking it.
Watch out, watch out, watch out,
watch out, there it is!
[grunts]
Watch it go, watch it go,
watch it go, watch it go,
look out, ooh, ha!
I'm King of the North.
Don't stop me
Let's have some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right...
Proud, but sometimes
a little embarrassed.
Don't stop me
Don't drop me
Let's have some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
It's gonna be all right
Feel the magic
Underneath your feet
Keep it cool
Never miss a beat, no,
Move and shake
Start it from your bones
Fix it up,
You've all made it home
With family together
We're stronger
Close 'em tight,
Don't even wonder
Don't look back,
Give me all you got
Let it go,
Lay it on the dance floor
Don't stop me don't drop me
Let's have some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
It's gonna be all right
Don't stop me don't drop me
Let's have some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
It's gonna be all right
Oh, whoa, whoa
Oh
Don't stop me don't drop me
Let's have some fun tonight
Because it makes
You feel all right
It's gonna be all right
All right