Novocaine (2025) Movie Script
1
Don't let yourself go
As everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes
And folks, if I've learned
one thing, it's this.
You can't let your
disability hold you back.
You gotta wear it like a badge of honor.
You gotta go out there and
you gotta say, world, this is me.
This is who I am in all my
glory and I'm here to win.
Don't let yourself go.
Cause everybody cries.
But sometimes...
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Here at San Diego Trust,
we're a cross-credit union.
We don't have customers or clients.
We have members.
Family members.
And that's... exciting.
Yeah, big time.
And there's nothing more
exciting than Christmas Bonus Day.
Our busiest day of the year.
The day hard-working union
members get to turn their labor...
Tomorrow, we put the trust...
The San Diego Trust.
That's it.
All right, that's it?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Good.
Nice.
Powerful.
Thank you, yeah.
Okay.
Good stuff.
Right, back to work.
Back to work.
Right.
I mean, what about the story?
Are you... Are you getting by?
Had to let Terrence go.
But I still open every day.
Not sure what else to do with
myself now that Betty's gone.
Well...
Earl, I'm...
I'm really sorry, but if you can't pay...
we're gonna have to foreclose.
I understand.
Okay.
What I can do...
is I can hold onto this
paperwork until after the holiday.
Now, that should buy you enough
time for Betty's social security...
and retirement to clear probate.
Now, I can't promise that
it'll save the store, but...
that should keep you in your house.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Let me walk you out, okay?
I'm so sorry again, Earl.
I mean, I can't even imagine what it's like
to lose someone after 50 years of marriage.
Time don't matter.
Would've hurt just as bad
if I lost her the day we met.
She brought the sunshine in my life.
I know.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Totally.
Hey, Nate.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
What?
Oh, no, I'm... Jesus.
Oh, that's fine.
I mean, I can take care of that.
No, no, really, you don't have to.
I'm actually really good
at getting stains out of...
You actually don't have to.
I'm good.
I'll take care of it.
I promise.
Everything's... Do not worry.
I, uh...
I...
I got it.
I just didn't... I'll go.
Sorry.
Oh.
Real smart.
Idiot.
Yeah, come in.
Hey.
Sherry.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Um...
Am I just so very fired?
Listen, I know I've only
worked here for four
months, but I really feel
like I have a lot to contribute.
No, no, no, no.
You're not fired.
You're definitely...
Definitely not fired.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I feel like I at least owe
you, like, a new shirt.
Oh, this shirt?
No.
No, no.
This... This is... This is...
This is the worst shirt I have.
Okay.
Well, maybe I could take you to lunch?
Uh... Yeah.
Uh... No, actually.
Sorry.
I brought mine today.
Are you sure?
So I'm... I'm okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
No pressure.
Okay.
But if you change your mind, let me know.
Uh... Hey.
Hey.
Uh...
You know what?
I'm in.
Okay.
Cool.
Leave in ten?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Looking forward to it.
Don't say that so loud.
Welcome back, honey.
I see you brought a friend this time.
Yeah.
This is Nate.
Hey there, Nate.
What can I get you?
Oh, you know, just a... Just
a... A milkshake, please?
Vanilla?
Milkshake?
No, you don't want any food?
There's really good sandwiches.
Really good sandwiches?
Uh... Nah.
I'm good.
Okay.
Um... Then I'll have... Oh.
Please tell me that you're
not out of the cherry pie.
It's your lucky day.
Got one.
One left.
Nice.
Yeah.
So...
What's your deal?
Uh...
My deal?
Yeah.
You know, you're
just always, like, I don't
know, in your office, and you
never come out to the happy hours.
Uh... I don't... I don't...
I don't really know.
You know, I'm, um...
I guess I'm just not
really a very social person.
Okay.
Yeah.
So...
Do you have a girlfriend?
No.
No, I don't.
Um... Not... Not right now.
Yeah.
Are you on the apps?
No.
God, no.
Why not?
Really?
No.
You look great.
I could take a profile
picture of you right now.
The reindeer tie would slay.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yeah.
Enjoy.
Holler if you need anything.
Thank you.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
This is so good.
Do you want some?
Oh, no.
No.
I'm okay.
I'm fine.
No.
It's... It's... I'm good.
It's so good.
I'm really... I'm
really sure I'm fine.
It's so good.
Totally.
It's... Just do it.
I can't.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I... I just can't
have, uh, any pie.
What do you mean you can't?
Uh...
Okay.
Um...
I have a genetic disorder.
Oh.
Okay.
Go on.
Oh.
Yeah.
Um...
It's called, uh, CEPA.
Um...
Congenital insensitivity
to pain with anhidrosis.
Um...
It affects my nervous system.
And it, uh...
Basically makes it so I can't feel pain.
Um...
Or hot or cold.
And that's why I can't, uh, have the pie.
Or any solid food.
Really.
Because, um...
Unknowingly, I could bite my tongue off.
Oh.
The coffee earlier.
Yeah.
No.
I couldn't feel that at all.
Uh... Holy shit.
Yeah.
You're a superhero.
No.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
I, uh...
I have the power to step
on a nail and... and not
know until my shoe
fills up with, uh... blood.
Right.
Yeah.
Didn't... think about that.
True story, by the way.
We were at the aquarium.
My mom fainted.
Jesus.
Yeah.
My parents, they, um...
They basically spent my entire
childhood at... at the hospital.
And then when they
found out that the average
life expectancy for
my condition was, um...
25...
They sort of... locked me up.
I'm sorry.
No.
Hey, I'm... You know.
I'm, uh...
I'm still kicking.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I hear all that.
But does that really mean that you can't
have just, like, a little bite of this pie?
No.
I can't.
I mean...
Like I said, I... I...
I could bite my tongue off and... You're
not gonna bite your tongue off, Nate.
This is the best cherry
pie on the West Coast.
Okay?
I swear to God.
Listen.
If anything goes wrong, I'm right here.
Okay.
Okay?
Here?
Here we go.
Yep.
Taking a bite.
Open your mouth.
Okay.
Remember, chew softly.
Yep.
Uh huh.
Let the magic happen.
Uh huh.
God, that is so good.
That is so good.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I told you.
What?
This is pie?
Yeah.
This is pie?
This is pie.
Pie's good!
Congratulations.
Whoa!
What are you doing later tonight?
Look, she invited me out to this art show.
I'm just not gonna go.
I think I'm just gonna stay here
and we'll play and it'll be fine.
You've been talking
about this girl for months.
You're basically in love with her.
I mean, if I were you,
I'd be all over that shit.
Yeah, man, but I'm not like you.
I'm not cool. I don't drive a Harley.
I'm not this hunky guy with a man bun.
Again, it's a short pony.
But, dude, that stuff is not
why I do well with women.
Does it help? Of course it does.
I'm not gonna lie.
But confidence is king.
I feel like I'm gonna mess it up somehow.
What's the worst that can happen?
You wind up alone in your
living room playing video games?
You're already there, my guy.
What do you have to lose?
Nate, you're gonna die.
What? Oh, shit, sorry. Um...
Okay.
No, no, no.
That was actually really impressive.
Hey, man, I'm sorry.
My head's not in this right now.
Can I call you back a little later?
Oh, sure, yeah. I'll just go fuck myself.
Okay, thanks.
My friends call me a loser
Cause I'm still hanging around
I pray for you Boo.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, you came. You're here.
Yeah, no.
No, of course. My, you know, my schedule.
Cleared up and, uh... Cool.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Yeah, of course.
What do you think?
These are yours?
Mm-hmm.
These are awesome.
Thank you.
Who are they?
Uh, they're from my therapy group.
Some cutters, some suicidal.
Everyone's kind of
recovering in their own way.
Jesus, you run a therapy group, too?
Oh.
No, no, no.
I attended.
Oh.
Oh.
Damn.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't.
I did not mean... I apologize.
I, I... You're okay.
It's fine.
Okay.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Okay.
Here.
God.
You have a... Oh, my God.
I sold one.
Yeah.
Why are you so surprised?
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Um, so, where'd you grow up?
Well, I grew up in Tucson.
And Cedar City.
And Sacramento.
And Sacramento.
Hmm.
I was in foster care.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I just kind of bounced
around until I was 12.
And then I got adopted.
And I had, you know, uh, my own
room and a big brother and parents.
And it was all very exciting.
That's amazing.
Do you still see him a lot?
Not really.
No.
Um, it wasn't exactly a loving household.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I, uh...
Let's see.
I grew up in the mountains.
And I got adopted when I was 18.
And I've been on my own ever since.
Uh, man, that is tough.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
You know, if you, uh,
don't have anybody you
care about, it's harder
to get hurt, right?
Novocaine?
Holy shit.
It is you.
I...
This is fucking wild.
I thought you'd be dead by now.
Yeah.
Well...
I'm... I'm not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, good for you, bro.
Just like old times, huh?
It's fucking Nova King!
And he's not fucking dead!
So what was that?
Uh...
Uh, that was, um, some asshole
that I went to middle school with.
And what did he call you? Nova King?
Yeah, uh, it was...
It was just some dumb
nickname they gave me.
You know, once the other kids
found out about my condition,
they basically started kicking
my ass pretty much daily.
Figuring it didn't matter, you know,
cause I couldn't feel any of it, so...
I'm sorry.
But...
I gotta say, as far as nicknames go...
Nova King?
Kinda badass.
No.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, thank you.
But they didn't think so.
It... it... it was fine.
Sorry.
Um, excuse me for one second.
Just gonna...
Hey.
Yeah?
What does it deal with the alarm?
Um...
I gotta set one of these every three
hours or else my bladder might explode?
... ...
... ... ...
...
... ...
Hey.
How'd you two... get along?
We... really are. He's hilarious!
You know what?
I think you two just need
to let bygones be bygones.
What do you say?
What do you mean?
Shots!
Duh! Come on, my treat.
Yeah, sure, why not?
Okay, great.
Hey, and uh, no hard feelings, right?
Yeah, sure.
Feelings, get it?
So clever.
Fucking die.
There you go.
Thank you.
Here you go.
What the fuck was that?
What is that?
Leap and Larry's Five
Alarm Ghost Pepper Sauce.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
It's Novocaine's favorite.
Hey, should we, um,
head back to your place?
You can put those on his tab.
Done.
That was amazing.
That was...
You're a very good actor.
Oh, thank you.
Oh my god, that's gonna be killing
him thinking that I'm taking you home.
You bet you are.
Wait, what?
Have you
really read all these books?
I don't get out much.
Really?
You've even read the
Mayo Clinic A to Z Health Guide?
When you can, um, entail
yourself without realizing
that, um, you know, first aid
knowledge comes in pretty handy.
Touch.
You're a real renaissance man, Nathan Cain.
I never would have guessed.
...
... ...
... I'm sorry? No.
No, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
You sure? Yeah.
...
... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
...
...
...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...
I was a teenager, and as I got better at it, I
kind of got more sucked into it, and it was, uh, it
was just like, um, this secret world, this, this
other life that, you know, was actually an adventure.
It's a story, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, you could,
you could call it that, yeah.
How does it end?
I don't know. I'm still figuring that out.
So I have a question.
If you can't feel pain, does that also
mean that you can't feel pleasure?
I mean, uh, I think I can.
Can you feel this?
I feel a little bit of pressure.
How about this?
Definitely feel like something gorgeous.
It's not just you, Nate.
Everybody is hiding something.
I think... I think
we're all just...
...looking for someone we can show it to.
...in a maze that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive what?
!
...while you're behind
the steering wheel ...
...touching you
touching me ...straight
touching you God,
you touch my soul
oh
just don't tell me
So last night was life-changing.
No, no, no. Way too big.
Uh, last night was really great.
Uh, last night was... amazing.
Ah, gentlemen! Love the outfits!
How can I help you?
We're here to make a withdrawal.
Get down! Get down! Get down!
Get the fuck down!
Whoa!
Get on the ground!
Get down!
All right, everyone.
Do exactly as we say, and you'll
all live to open up your prisons.
Fools!
On the ground in front of you!
Hands behind your heads!
Mr. Manager!
You're up.
Alarm's tripped!
Three minutes.
Open the vault.
I won't be able to open it in time.
Forty-five.
Open the vault, or I will kill you.
No.
I-I won't do it.
You won't do it?
They ain't called my bluff.
Ask! You! Very!
Captain Kringle?
Huh?
Your beard.
Sorry, buddy.
You saw my face.
Assistant Manager!
Two minutes.
One-thirty!
Hey.
Hey, now.
Look at me.
Say the fucking numbers.
What?
What?
... ... ...
... ...
...
... ...
... ...
... ... ... ... ... wait wait no don't
stop okay stop okay here's the
deal open the vault or
open her brain pan okay
three okay i'm telling
you i'm telling you stop
it i'm telling you oh
one thirty two twenty six
is that so hard
come on come on Holy shit.
Merry Christmas, motherfucker.
Cops are here early!
Let's go.
Let's move.
Take a bath!
He's got the oven.
Let's move!
Grab a fucking hostage!
Sorry, sweetheart.
Come on.
Alright, three, two, out!
Okay.
Okay.
Let's take it easy.
Nobody needs to get hurt.
Go.
Sherry.
You're gonna be okay.
Alright?
Keep pressure on it.
32 and 34, back up.
Eight minutes out.
Eight minutes?
Don't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I will bring it back.
Oh my god.
It's not about the money.
What is important is that we had fun.
Fuck, he's still coming.
What's your fucking call, genius?
Split up.
Meet back at the shop.
Get on the highway.
No, no, no, no.
I ain't gettin on the highway.
Get on the highway!
I wanna stay there.
He needs our help.
Get away!
Come on.
Which one, Sherry?
What the fuck?
Go.
Sorry. No, I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
Out of the way!
Fuck off!
Hey, hey, hey, look.
Look, man, I don't want any trouble.
I just want to know where Sherry is.
Hey.
You're not a cop?
Uh, no, but...
Come on, man, just tell me where she is.
I'll let you go.
Okay?
You ever fired a gun before?
Do you, uh...
even know where the safety is?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hey!
Whoa!
Hey, man, I don't want to fight, okay?
I'm not that guy.
I just want...
You're fucking dead, you know that?
Tony, please.
Okay, so those are definitely third-degree,
so you're gonna want to
run it under some cool...
I'm not done with you.
Okay, wait, hold on.
Look, I still feel like we
can get what we want here.
Oh, you're strong!
I am so sorry.
Oh, no.
Hey, last chance. Tell me where she is.
Yes, sir.
Eat shit.
Okay, okay, uh...
Hey.
Hey, man, you okay?
You had to do it. You had to do it.
Think about it, Sherry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
So, Sherry was kidnapped,
and you killed a guy in a kitchen.
Roscoe, just listen to me very carefully.
I don't have a lot of...
Oh, my God, I got shot.
What?
You got shot?
Listen, all right?
I just texted you a photo of a tattoo.
I need you to call
around every parlor in San
Diego and try to find
out who did the art.
What am I, your fucking secretary?
I'm not doing shit.
Roscoe, I wouldn't ask
if I had any other choice.
I mean, we're a team, right?
Yes, a video game team.
We've never even met in person, and now
you're involving me in a real-life murder?
Why don't you just call the police?
You know, I technically
stole a cop car, and then
there's the whole thing
about the guy that I killed.
Fine, Jesus, I'll get you the
address, but that's it, okay?
Okay, thank you.
Thank you, bye.
Details are still trickling in, but we have
confirmed reports of multiple fatalities.
Citizens are advised to report
any suspicious activity in their area.
But to not engage
with all suspects... Shit.
Bad week to quit drinking.
Well, quit drinking.
No, no.
I just mean it would be.
Detective.
Yeah, what do you got?
Three officers down.
One in the ICU.
Bank manager, DOA inside.
Three gunmen, two cars.
They took a hostage with them.
And one additional suspect at large.
Additional suspect?
Yeah, the assistant manager.
He stole a cruiser and followed the gunman.
Witnesses say it's the
same guy who killed him.
We'll open the vault.
Could be a double cross.
Do we have units in pursuit?
No, these were the only ones in the area.
Calls went out at
the fifth and sixth, but
they're spread thin
because of the holidays.
Okay.
Thank you, officer.
Thank you.
We need to get a file on
that assistant manager.
Quick.
Today was supposed to be an easy one.
I'm going.
Thanks.
I'm going.
Coming through, news.
He's on my way.
Come on.
Loans for lunch.
Come back later.
You sure you don't want me
to just call you an ambulance?
No, no, no.
I told you there's no time.
All right.
Sweet Jesus.
Here we go.
Earl, you okay?
Me?
Oh, yeah.
Just...
This is not what I expected today.
Hey, if it's any consolation, me neither.
All right.
All right.
Let me find it.
Huh.
Is that it?
Hey!
There we go.
All right.
Put some on this.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Okay.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Here we go.
See?
Good as new.
Anyway.
Oh.
Whoa.
Um...
Earl, was there...
There's...
There's an EpiPen in there, right?
You mind handing that to me?
What?
You allergic to something?
Uh, thank you.
No.
Uh, epinephrine is just
another form of adrenaline.
It should, uh...
Keep me from passing out.
Oh.
God.
God.
Yeah, that did it.
Okay.
Uh...
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, Earl.
Thank you so much.
Sorry, this was...
A lot.
You go get that girl, Nick.
Oh, hey.
Um...
Almost forgot.
This should, uh...
Come up with a mortgage for a while.
Betty always said you were a good kid.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
All right.
Uh... I'll see you later.
You know, if I...
If I don't, uh, die.
You might want to launder that, by the way.
Uh...
One of our bank robbers?
God, I hoped so.
It would be a shame
if it was the real Santa.
Kitchen staff said a crazy
guy in a tie did all this.
I'm thinking that's our assistant manager.
Oh, boy.
Speaking of... Oh!
Got a bit of a profile on...
Uh...
Nathan Cain.
Single.
Male.
No record.
No affiliations.
Zero traffic tickets.
An online gamer tag of Magic Nate Ball.
Oh, that's good.
Uh... Worked at the San
Diego Trust for six years.
That just doesn't sound
like a Stone Cold Killer to me.
And yet...
Yeah.
Do you have a cell phone number for him?
I just robbed a bank.
Tell the guy.
You really think he's just
picking up his cell phone?
This is Nate speaking.
Hi, Nate.
Uh, this is Detective Barbara
Mincy of the San Diego Police.
How you doing?
I've... I've been... Better.
Did you catch the others?
Is... Is Sherry
the... The hostage?
Is she safe?
Yeah, well, you know,
we're working on that.
But whatever it is you're doing
isn't making her any better.
So if you could turn yourself and
the cash in right now... Wait, wait, wait.
Sorry.
Um...
Holy shit.
You think I'm in on this?
Nope, nope, Nate.
Uh, we're just following
the facts here, okay?
Look, look, look.
Hey, I don't give a shit about the money.
I just want to save Sherry.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's our job to
worry about, not yours.
Yeah, well, I heard
that 75% of hostages
who die are killed in
the first three hours.
So unless you're calling me to tell
me you found her, I'm not going to stop.
Sherry...
She, uh... She, uh...
Is she your girlfriend?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, we, we haven't necessarily
put a label on anything yet, but...
Look, look.
Stop it, all right?
I know what you're trying to do.
You don't give a shit about us.
No, Nate.
That's not true.
We just want everyone
to get home safe, okay?
I understand you care
about her, but... Do you?
Do you know what it's like to wait
your whole life to meet someone?
Someone who changes everything?
Who finally gives your life meaning?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
My daughter.
And if your daughter
was kidnapped, would
you wait around for
someone else to save her?
Or would you do it yourself?
All right, Nate.
Have it your way.
Got a trace on his cell.
Hey, you good?
Yeah.
Let's move.
...29C-47...
This is total fucking shit.
Look, there's nothing on the
scanner about your brother.
That means he probably lost the tail.
Then why the fuck ain't he here?
I don't know, okay?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I don't know everything.
Maybe he had to switch vehicles.
Maybe he stopped off to get some ice cream.
The point is, your fucking whining about it
isn't gonna make him show up any faster.
Watch how you're talking to me.
You may be running point on
this, but you're not my fucking boss.
Hmm.
Andre, I need you to
switch up the vibe right now.
Because you're bombing me out.
Come on!
Ben is gonna be back in 15 minutes
and everything is gonna be fine.
Just keep saying it.
Everything is gonna be fine.
Yeah, fucking right.
No more silent treatment, huh?
I'm sorry I hit you, okay?
Do you, um...
Do you wanna hit me?
Make it even?
Fuck you.
Wow.
I do not like that tone.
I don't like it.
...
... ...
... ...
...
...
...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
...
... ... ... ...
...
... Nigel? Who is Nigel?
He was a Nigel too, wasn't he?
Nigel...
Sounds a whole lot like an excuse.
You know how I feel about excuses.
Don't you?
You're so fucking impossible.
What's done is done.
Okay.
Let's just stay focused on the plan.
And we can hash all this out later
over some pina coladas in Mexico.
Those are disgusting, by the way.
It's in your teeth.
Yeah?
Hello, ma'am.
Is Zeno here?
I just need to talk with him for a second.
Sorry, customers only.
You know what?
That's actually why I'm here.
I'm just looking to get some work done.
Looks like you've already
had some work done today.
Sorry?
Oh!
My appearance.
Well, you should see the other guy.
Okay.
Oh.
I thought that was a real guy for a second.
Wait here.
Thank you.
You.
What's good?
I'm good.
I'm... Everything's good.
Um...
I was just looking to get a tattoo.
Fuck.
What's happening with your hand?
Oh.
Psoriasis.
It's really, really flared up on me today.
Yeah.
All right.
So, where are we working?
Uh, yeah.
Just...
Um...
Right here.
Damn.
I like your tats.
That's good shit.
Oh.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
I, uh...
I like yours, too.
Yeah.
So, uh...
What you want?
Well, I have a buddy of mine.
Um...
And he got this awesome tattoo.
I want the exact same one.
I think he said that he got it here.
No shit.
Ha.
You know Ben.
Ben.
Yeah.
Ben.
So, um... Did you
guys serve together?
Yeah.
We did.
Serve together.
Honorably.
Hm.
Rock on, brother.
Hey, um...
Speaking of Ben, is he still
working at the same place?
I don't know.
Ben doesn't talk about work.
Classic Ben.
Hates work.
Hates it.
Um...
Funny story about Ben.
Um, you know his last name, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
How would you think it's pronounced?
Seriously, you're gonna...
You're gonna love this.
Just...
Just say his last name.
Why don't you say it?
Ah.
You know, never mind.
It's fine.
It's not that funny.
Cause you know, you tell a
bad joke, you have to explain it.
It's not good.
Yeah.
Give me a sec.
Mmhmm.
Yeah.
Take your time.
You know, I'm thinking that
maybe you don't know Ben.
Yo, what the fuck is this?
I'm not gonna hurt you.
Okay?
Just put down the knife.
...
Tell me everything you
know about Ben and I'm gone.
Let me show you how it's done.
...
...
Yeah!!!
...
...
... ...
Oh!
Diddle you little shit!
...
Fuck you, man!
What the fuck are you doing?
I can't see!
Okay.
Fuck.
Alright, look.
What's his name?
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, man.
Okay.
Look.
Look.
Please.
Please don't make me do this.
Fucking eat shit, man.
Okay.
Okay.
This is gonna suck, are you sure?
Fuck off.
Okay.
Here we go.
No!
Fuck!
Hey, hey, hey!
Just give me his name!
Just give me his name!
Oh, Jesus!
Oh, fuck!
It's Clark!
It's Clark.
Okay.
Clark.
Ben.
Ben Clark.
There we go.
Is that so hard?
I'm giving you what you
want, then I'll just fucking go.
Just one second.
One second.
Hey there, Chad.
It's Nate over at San Diego Trust.
Glad I caught you before the holiday.
Yeah.
Listen.
I was hoping you
could run a quick credit
check on a new client
whose file is incomplete.
His name is Ben Clark.
He did serve in the military.
Does that narrow it down?
Yeah.
Yeah.
VA loans.
That's him.
You don't have any
employment on record, do you?
How about a last-name residence?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hold on one second.
Okay.
Shoot.
God.
God.
Okay.
Four.
Two.
North.
Tower.
Late.
All right.
Chad.
Thank you so much, man.
You're the best.
Oh.
Yeah.
Merry Christmas to you, too.
Go Padres.
Something's wrong.
He should definitely be here.
Look.
He's got plenty of time.
We can't leave Toadstark anyway.
I'm gonna check his house.
The house he just left?
Did he really spend all weekend booby-trapping
like he's Wile E. fucking Coyote?
That house?
You really think he's gonna go back there?
Use your brain, man.
He's my brother!
I'm well aware of that.
Take a half hour.
If he's not there, I'll
come back and we can go.
Andre.
Andre!
Don't be a fucking idiot!
Find an Xbet and earn a bonus
of up to 100% on your first deposit!
What is that?
.
What the fuck is that? Why?
Okay, uh...
All right.
Oh, come on, really?
Crossbow. Under the sink. Of course.
All right, whatever. Fuck it.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Okay, I found you.
And now I'm gonna make you...
What the fuck? God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God
...a snare trap, and
if you don't come right
now and cut me down,
then Sherry's gonna die.
I'm probably gonna die.
Dude, you can't put that shit on me.
I'm not getting involved in this.
You already are, okay?
Look, man, I'm sorry, I just...
I don't know who else to call.
Maybe to you, I'm just some
random guy you met on the internet,
but to me, all that time we spent
together, it actually meant something.
You're...
You're my only friend, Roscoe.
And right now...
...I need you.
God damn it.
Okay, look, it says
15 minutes, but I'll
take the Harley and
be there in 10, alright?
Yes!
Yes! Thank you, thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hang in there.
Sorry, that wasn't a
pun, I meant it sincerely.
No, no, it was funny.
It was funny, just please hurry, okay?
Yeah, okay, bye.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, 10 minutes.
10 minutes.
I can make it 10 minutes, okay.
Ben?
Oh, no.
You're here, bro.
Hi.
Who the hell are you?
Uh, I'm just a thief.
You know, just came here to, uh...
...thieve.
Where's my brother?
I'm sorry, your what?
Uh, look, man, look, I don't know
anything about anybody's brother, I'm...
...you know, I just
randomly picked this place
and, uh, well,
apparently, I picked wrong.
You know, most people
just have the doorbell with
the camera, but an indoor
snare trap, egg on my face.
You don't look like a thief.
Yeah, well, the best of us rarely do.
So you just picked this
place at random, huh?
Yeah, yeah, just my luck.
Then why the fuck...
...do you have his address?
...on your fucking hand?
That's such a good question.
And...
...the answer's really
gonna blow your mind.
Yeah, you can go ahead
and take that, if you need to.
Yeah.
Look, uh...
...Ben's dead.
Just heard it off at the scanner.
Who did it? Cops?
Uh, no.
Apparently, it was just some
random... ...good Samaritan.
Skinny guy in a suit.
Look, um...
...why don't you just get back
here, and we'll figure it all out.
Did he seriously just hang up on me?
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hold on,
hold on, hey, let's just talk about this.
You killed my brother!
Look, man, I, uh...
...I did...
...kill him.
And look, I know that means
you're gonna kill me too, but please...
...please, just do me a favor, okay?
Just...
...just make it quick.
There's no need...
...to draw this out.
I got a better idea.
You know, when I used to do this shit...
...back in Special Forces...
...it was always to try
and get some information.
Mm-hmm.
But all that matters now...
...is the pain.
Think about that. You understand pain?
Yeah. I hate it so much.
Oh, oh, oh! No! Stop it!
I mean, oh!
This is bad! God damn it!
Oh, wow!
You sadistic fuck.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
No. Not the pliers. Please, not the pliers.
I can't even imagine what
you're gonna do with that.
Please.
Oh.
This little piggy...
...went to market.
Yeah!
Wow!
God, I hate how you
spent so much time on this.
This little piggy.
Oh, boy.
This little piggy.
Uh-huh.
Oh!
Oh!
Wee-wee-wee-wee!
Fuckin' all the way home!
Oh! Wow, that hurt!
That one hurt the most!
What are you doing?
Terribly!
No!
Please, no!
Whoa, this sucks so bad!
Please don't do that again!
What?
Where the hell are you?
We're leaving in 30 minutes.
Get your ass back here.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll wrap it up.
Not for my favorite part.
I'm gonna keep your eyes...
...in a jar... ...on my mantle.
Oh, wait, don't do that.
No.
Uh, uh...
Actually, don't do that.
Uh, hey!
Your brother...
...your brother told me something...
...before he died.
He said, uh...
...he said... ...um...
...tell... ...my brother...
...I'm sorry.
...I'm sorry.
...for that...
...thing...
...that happened when we were kids.
He said, tell him...
...tell him that Mom and Dad...
...always loved you the most.
Bullshit.
We never met our dad.
Okay.
I think maybe he meant
it, like, metaphorically.
Wait, no!
Please, please, please, please don't!
Roscoe?
No, it's fucking Daft Punk.
Of course it's me.
Oh...
...thank God.
I was...
...huh.
What do you mean, huh?
Uh... ...no, I mean, um... ...it's
just, uh... ...didn't you say...
...that you were six foot five... ...and
that you looked like Jason Momoa?
I said I kinda looked like Jason Momoa.
Right.
He's just a very specific little guy.
...looking man.
You know, how about you just
say thank you... ...for saving my life?
You're totally right.
Absolutely.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay, that's enough.
Look, go do whatever you gotta do...
...and please stay alive.
I need you to be physically able...
...to explain all this to the cops.
Okay.
I will stay alive.
I promise.
You're gonna have to do better than that.
Oh shit.
Cool!
Yeah, get something!
Right!
Oh shit!
knows what she's doing We're
really stopping the ball, huh?
...
Get out of here!
...
... ...
God dammit! I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna fucking rip
your fucking head off!
Okay.
Good thinking with the mace.
Jesus. Hell of a way to go.
What'd you set a timer for?
Um, it was for your...
...for your...
...for your ETA or whatever.
I actually should pee though.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Who the fuck are these guys anyway?
No idea.
Huge Home Alone fans apparently.
Hey, um...
...thanks again...
...for coming.
Yeah, well...
...one of friends four, right?
Yeah, man.
That being said...
...I will testify against you if need be.
Yeah, no, no, no worries.
I assumed.
Oh, shit, it's the cops.
Well, great.
Tell them everything.
Let them go save her.
No, no, no.
They're not gonna listen to me.
They think I'm in on this.
No, if I go out there... ...they're
gonna bring me to the station...
...and by the time I can convince anybody
to go after Sherry... ...she'll be dead.
Wait a minute.
I think I have an idea.
You're Harley.
It's still parked out front, yeah?
Yeah.
Sort of.
What do you mean, sort of?
Nathan Cain!
I need you to come out the
house with your hands up!
Look, come on, don't make this
harder than it has to be, okay?
This whole town's going to shit,
because the Chargers and
the Clippers betrayed us.
Really?
Now?
Seriously, broke our hearts.
Our hearts for what?
To be second fiddle to
the Rams and the... Freeze!
Freeze!
Hey!
Freeze!
Hey!
Stop!
Freeze!
Stop!
Shit!
Shit!
Who the hell is this guy?
Ha-ha!
You've been deceived, for I am not Nate.
Don't care.
Yeah.
But who you are?
Somebody.
Who's about to go to jail.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
I can help you, I can help you!
I know where Nate's going.
Yeah, we'll start talking then.
Okay, okay, but can we
have, like, a no-kick-off?
I'm not making policy from this point on.
Where is he?
Where is your jumpsuit?
I'm not doing this, Simon.
Not doing what?
It's already done.
Can't do it.
Oh, fuck off.
Since when did you grow
a conscience anyway, huh?
I mean, what about all
the other jobs we've done?
We've killed people before.
No!
No!
You've killed people before, Simon.
You!
No!
Not me!
I'm not like you!
You think all this fake remorse
is gonna save your soul, hm?
It's bullshit.
Simon.
You know it.
Drop the gun!
Oh, my God.
Hey.
I'm not gonna ask you again.
Okay.
You okay, Sherry?
I'm...
I'm sorry.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm the guy that killed your friends.
So if you don't want
to wind up like them, I
suggest you let her go, and
you get the hell out of here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my fucking God.
Simon, don't.
You're the guy from the bank, right?
Okay.
This is legitimately the funniest
thing that's ever happened to me.
You've been telling us to try to save...
...Sherry.
Is that right?
Uh...
I hate to break it to you, bud, but...
...she's my fucking sister.
She played you, man.
Yeah.
You thought that she had feelings for you.
Nate, I mean...
...I'm so sorry, okay?
I never meant for you to...
...look, everything that happened
between us, I meant it, okay?
Oh, what a load of horseshit.
Look, man.
You're pointing the gun at
the wrong bank robber, dude.
You should be shooting her.
So now listen.
Why don't you just get out of here, man?
Okay?
What are you doing?
Get yourself to the urgent care...
...and just forget all about this.
Stop it.
Get over it.
I'll give it to you, bank boy.
You can take a punch.
Let's see how you do.
A little pressure.
Perfect.
Simon, stop it.
It's not fucking funny. Stop it.
The crushes head.
He started it.
Just go.
Honestly, just go.
Take the money and go.
I'm gonna stay with him.
You're gonna stay with...
You're gonna stay with that guy?
Yeah.
Sherry.
Come on!
I don't even know you anymore.
Fine.
Hmm?
You won't do it.
Yeah?
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
You're right.
You don't know me anymore.
Got him.
Moving in.
Get him on your head.
This one's cooked.
Help this guy.
Oh.
Damn, Vespa guy was
right, he's pretty beat up.
Yeah?
Well, good thing we're
here to save his ass.
You're lucky that you
got such a good friend.
...a little too chatty for me, though.
Backup will be here in five.
We're still stretched thin.
Does that mean I can punch out now?
Wanda's gonna start It's a
Wonderful Life without me.
Yeah, we'll just get the
elves to do your paperwork.
Wouldn't that be amazing if we...
Hey! Show me where you're hurt!
Alright, you're gonna be okay.
You just have to get to a hospital.
I'm gonna take your car and
I'm gonna go after them, okay?
Like hell! I'm not giving you my keys.
Sorry.
Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure...
...you're really gonna shoot me.
I should, asshole.
But I won't. You're taking me with you.
Hey, can someone please
tell me what's going on?
I know where he's going.
Where who's going? Are we going
to a high-speed chase right now?
I don't know how you drive.
I don't know who you are.
And it's not a school bus!
You again!
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Stroller!
Jesus!
Where'd you learn to drive like this?
I used to boost cars.
What? I don't anymore!
Oh, I might be dying.
But I'm gonna kill you first.
You fucking loser!
So where is this son of a bitch going?
He's headed to Pier 7.
Where for?
There's a boat waiting.
It was gonna take us south.
To a taxi!
I can see! Thank you!
You wanna know something funny?
If you'd have just stayed in that bank...
...Sherry would be right
here sitting next to me.
She'd be just fine.
But now...
...Now...
...I'm gonna hunt her ass down.
I promise you that.
Yeah, well...
...If you do find Sherry...
...I want you to tell her
something for me, okay?
Oh, God.
You are one sorry son of a bitch.
You know that?
Yeah, I know, right?
It's kind of my thing.
Listen... ...I want
you to tell her...
...that even though we didn't
spend a lot of time together...
...that I always...
...felt like we...
...could've gone...
What did you feel like?
What was that?
I can't fucking hear you.
You're mumbling. Speak up!
Sorry. I'll try to be a little more...
...Clear!
I like that you're making
me earn it, bank boy.
We gotta wrap this up.
Let's go!
Let's go.
What?
I can't... ...I can't...
...I'm sorry, I have to go.
Wait, wait.
God, I hope I live to regret this.
Take it.
That motherfucker...
...shot my partner.
Don't miss.
You, out.
Okay.
Get her to a hospital.
Sure. Yeah.
God, that's a lot of blood.
At least it's not a
stick shift, am I right?
Sorry. I'm bleeding to death.
Right.
You always did fight, didn't you?
Sherry!
Looks like I finally found a way
to make you feel something, huh?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Shit!
I gotta ask you something.
Feel this.
Nate, Nate!
Nate, Nate!
Nate!
Hey, Sherry.
I love you, baby. I love you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, hey, please, please.
Help! Over here, please!
I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry.
Let me have it right here. I'm not going...
Hey, hey, hey.
There he is. How are you feeling, bud?
What happened?
Well, you've had some major blood loss.
And a heart attack.
And a brain hemorrhage.
And third-degree burns.
And a lot of broken bones.
But you're okay now.
It's a Christmas miracle.
It's Christmas?
It's actually January 11th.
You've been in a medically induced coma.
But still, you're alive!
Wait, Sherry, is she...
Don't worry. Sherry's fine.
She's okay.
Oh, we meet again.
Hey.
Hey, look who's up.
Yep.
You look...
...brave.
I'm glad you're up, because I
just came from the courthouse.
You know, you're looking at
some pretty serious charges here.
Manslaughter, breaking
and entering, grand theft auto.
Yeah, those...
Those sound really bad.
Yeah, they are.
There's enough here to lock
you up until you're twice my age.
Uh-huh.
But you did save a cop's life.
And you also had some pretty
persuasive character witnesses.
Also, you're a white guy
who works for a bank, so...
...the judge took it easy on you.
Six months house arrest,
five years probation.
Get a lawyer to look at that,
but it's a pretty good deal.
Oh.
Almost forgot the best part.
This is from Grace.
My daughter.
Take care, Nate.
Thank you, Detective.
Detective.
You look... Are you
looking at the hand?
Oh, the hand?
Oh, you mean your burnt-up, crisped-up tan?
Yeah, I... yeah.
I mean, it's... it's jarring, for sure.
Is it the worst part?
I just think, like, they shouldn't have
to dress it up all sexy like in fishnets.
It's a skin graft.
Look, I... I would get a glove.
Okay.
Personally, yeah.
Prepare for pain.
This guy must not know
who he's dealing with.
Okay, cast toxic cloud. I'm equipping
the Blackstone armor. I'm going in.
Oh, hey, you're coming on Saturday, right?
It's a big birthday for me.
Yeah, man.
Wait, it's not...
it's not at a biker bar, is it?
Fuck you.
Yeah, man, of course I'm gonna be there.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Dude, just hold it for a couple more
minutes. This guy's almost dead.
No, dude, uh, it's not that. I actually
have to get ready for that dinner.
Wow. You're ditching me to go on a date.
I know, I know. It's
very cute and adorable,
and I will make this up
to you later. Goodbye.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hey, uh...
I can't believe it's been
a year since our first date.
I am... so happy I tried the bunny.
Me too.
And, hey, you even wore your tie.
Yeah, you noticed. Yeah.
Took the dry cleaners
a while to get the blood
stains out, but, um, you
know, they managed.
They did a good job.
Oh, wait, um... sorry, I almost forgot.
Oh, my God.
Hey, you finally figured out the ending.
It felt kind of weird to
have the knight rescuing the
damsel, so I had them, you
know, kind of saving each other.
It's perfect.
Hey! Button that shirt up!
This ain't no conjugal visit, man.
Oh, sorry.
No, this isn't like a sex thing. This is...
Uh-huh. Okay. Yep. Got it.
And I know that's not
an open flame, I'm saying.
Nope, it's not.
Don't play with me.
I'm not trying to play with you, sir.
Just shh. Is he new?
Uh, no.
He's intense.
Yeah.
He's really intense.
Yeah, they're strict here. It's jail.
Inmate 241, time's up.
That was a tight 15 minutes, huh?
Yeah.
At least we only have to put up
with it for another eight months.
Eh, seven months, 19
days, but who's counting?
Man, don't make me come over there.
You're gonna give me a job, so I'm sorry.
Hey.
He's so intense.
I know, I gotta go.
Okay.
I'll, uh, see you soon, Novocaine.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
You lead, Novocaine.
Okay.
Yeah.
See you.
Don't let yourself go
As everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes
And folks, if I've learned
one thing, it's this.
You can't let your
disability hold you back.
You gotta wear it like a badge of honor.
You gotta go out there and
you gotta say, world, this is me.
This is who I am in all my
glory and I'm here to win.
Don't let yourself go.
Cause everybody cries.
But sometimes...
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Here at San Diego Trust,
we're a cross-credit union.
We don't have customers or clients.
We have members.
Family members.
And that's... exciting.
Yeah, big time.
And there's nothing more
exciting than Christmas Bonus Day.
Our busiest day of the year.
The day hard-working union
members get to turn their labor...
Tomorrow, we put the trust...
The San Diego Trust.
That's it.
All right, that's it?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Good.
Nice.
Powerful.
Thank you, yeah.
Okay.
Good stuff.
Right, back to work.
Back to work.
Right.
I mean, what about the story?
Are you... Are you getting by?
Had to let Terrence go.
But I still open every day.
Not sure what else to do with
myself now that Betty's gone.
Well...
Earl, I'm...
I'm really sorry, but if you can't pay...
we're gonna have to foreclose.
I understand.
Okay.
What I can do...
is I can hold onto this
paperwork until after the holiday.
Now, that should buy you enough
time for Betty's social security...
and retirement to clear probate.
Now, I can't promise that
it'll save the store, but...
that should keep you in your house.
I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Let me walk you out, okay?
I'm so sorry again, Earl.
I mean, I can't even imagine what it's like
to lose someone after 50 years of marriage.
Time don't matter.
Would've hurt just as bad
if I lost her the day we met.
She brought the sunshine in my life.
I know.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Totally.
Hey, Nate.
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
What?
Oh, no, I'm... Jesus.
Oh, that's fine.
I mean, I can take care of that.
No, no, really, you don't have to.
I'm actually really good
at getting stains out of...
You actually don't have to.
I'm good.
I'll take care of it.
I promise.
Everything's... Do not worry.
I, uh...
I...
I got it.
I just didn't... I'll go.
Sorry.
Oh.
Real smart.
Idiot.
Yeah, come in.
Hey.
Sherry.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Um...
Am I just so very fired?
Listen, I know I've only
worked here for four
months, but I really feel
like I have a lot to contribute.
No, no, no, no.
You're not fired.
You're definitely...
Definitely not fired.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I feel like I at least owe
you, like, a new shirt.
Oh, this shirt?
No.
No, no.
This... This is... This is...
This is the worst shirt I have.
Okay.
Well, maybe I could take you to lunch?
Uh... Yeah.
Uh... No, actually.
Sorry.
I brought mine today.
Are you sure?
So I'm... I'm okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
No pressure.
Okay.
But if you change your mind, let me know.
Uh... Hey.
Hey.
Uh...
You know what?
I'm in.
Okay.
Cool.
Leave in ten?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Looking forward to it.
Don't say that so loud.
Welcome back, honey.
I see you brought a friend this time.
Yeah.
This is Nate.
Hey there, Nate.
What can I get you?
Oh, you know, just a... Just
a... A milkshake, please?
Vanilla?
Milkshake?
No, you don't want any food?
There's really good sandwiches.
Really good sandwiches?
Uh... Nah.
I'm good.
Okay.
Um... Then I'll have... Oh.
Please tell me that you're
not out of the cherry pie.
It's your lucky day.
Got one.
One left.
Nice.
Yeah.
So...
What's your deal?
Uh...
My deal?
Yeah.
You know, you're
just always, like, I don't
know, in your office, and you
never come out to the happy hours.
Uh... I don't... I don't...
I don't really know.
You know, I'm, um...
I guess I'm just not
really a very social person.
Okay.
Yeah.
So...
Do you have a girlfriend?
No.
No, I don't.
Um... Not... Not right now.
Yeah.
Are you on the apps?
No.
God, no.
Why not?
Really?
No.
You look great.
I could take a profile
picture of you right now.
The reindeer tie would slay.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yeah.
Enjoy.
Holler if you need anything.
Thank you.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, my God.
This is so good.
Do you want some?
Oh, no.
No.
I'm okay.
I'm fine.
No.
It's... It's... I'm good.
It's so good.
I'm really... I'm
really sure I'm fine.
It's so good.
Totally.
It's... Just do it.
I can't.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I... I just can't
have, uh, any pie.
What do you mean you can't?
Uh...
Okay.
Um...
I have a genetic disorder.
Oh.
Okay.
Go on.
Oh.
Yeah.
Um...
It's called, uh, CEPA.
Um...
Congenital insensitivity
to pain with anhidrosis.
Um...
It affects my nervous system.
And it, uh...
Basically makes it so I can't feel pain.
Um...
Or hot or cold.
And that's why I can't, uh, have the pie.
Or any solid food.
Really.
Because, um...
Unknowingly, I could bite my tongue off.
Oh.
The coffee earlier.
Yeah.
No.
I couldn't feel that at all.
Uh... Holy shit.
Yeah.
You're a superhero.
No.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
I, uh...
I have the power to step
on a nail and... and not
know until my shoe
fills up with, uh... blood.
Right.
Yeah.
Didn't... think about that.
True story, by the way.
We were at the aquarium.
My mom fainted.
Jesus.
Yeah.
My parents, they, um...
They basically spent my entire
childhood at... at the hospital.
And then when they
found out that the average
life expectancy for
my condition was, um...
25...
They sort of... locked me up.
I'm sorry.
No.
Hey, I'm... You know.
I'm, uh...
I'm still kicking.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, I hear all that.
But does that really mean that you can't
have just, like, a little bite of this pie?
No.
I can't.
I mean...
Like I said, I... I...
I could bite my tongue off and... You're
not gonna bite your tongue off, Nate.
This is the best cherry
pie on the West Coast.
Okay?
I swear to God.
Listen.
If anything goes wrong, I'm right here.
Okay.
Okay?
Here?
Here we go.
Yep.
Taking a bite.
Open your mouth.
Okay.
Remember, chew softly.
Yep.
Uh huh.
Let the magic happen.
Uh huh.
God, that is so good.
That is so good.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I told you.
What?
This is pie?
Yeah.
This is pie?
This is pie.
Pie's good!
Congratulations.
Whoa!
What are you doing later tonight?
Look, she invited me out to this art show.
I'm just not gonna go.
I think I'm just gonna stay here
and we'll play and it'll be fine.
You've been talking
about this girl for months.
You're basically in love with her.
I mean, if I were you,
I'd be all over that shit.
Yeah, man, but I'm not like you.
I'm not cool. I don't drive a Harley.
I'm not this hunky guy with a man bun.
Again, it's a short pony.
But, dude, that stuff is not
why I do well with women.
Does it help? Of course it does.
I'm not gonna lie.
But confidence is king.
I feel like I'm gonna mess it up somehow.
What's the worst that can happen?
You wind up alone in your
living room playing video games?
You're already there, my guy.
What do you have to lose?
Nate, you're gonna die.
What? Oh, shit, sorry. Um...
Okay.
No, no, no.
That was actually really impressive.
Hey, man, I'm sorry.
My head's not in this right now.
Can I call you back a little later?
Oh, sure, yeah. I'll just go fuck myself.
Okay, thanks.
My friends call me a loser
Cause I'm still hanging around
I pray for you Boo.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, you came. You're here.
Yeah, no.
No, of course. My, you know, my schedule.
Cleared up and, uh... Cool.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Yeah, of course.
What do you think?
These are yours?
Mm-hmm.
These are awesome.
Thank you.
Who are they?
Uh, they're from my therapy group.
Some cutters, some suicidal.
Everyone's kind of
recovering in their own way.
Jesus, you run a therapy group, too?
Oh.
No, no, no.
I attended.
Oh.
Oh.
Damn.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't.
I did not mean... I apologize.
I, I... You're okay.
It's fine.
Okay.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Okay.
Here.
God.
You have a... Oh, my God.
I sold one.
Yeah.
Why are you so surprised?
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Um, so, where'd you grow up?
Well, I grew up in Tucson.
And Cedar City.
And Sacramento.
And Sacramento.
Hmm.
I was in foster care.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I just kind of bounced
around until I was 12.
And then I got adopted.
And I had, you know, uh, my own
room and a big brother and parents.
And it was all very exciting.
That's amazing.
Do you still see him a lot?
Not really.
No.
Um, it wasn't exactly a loving household.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I, uh...
Let's see.
I grew up in the mountains.
And I got adopted when I was 18.
And I've been on my own ever since.
Uh, man, that is tough.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
You know, if you, uh,
don't have anybody you
care about, it's harder
to get hurt, right?
Novocaine?
Holy shit.
It is you.
I...
This is fucking wild.
I thought you'd be dead by now.
Yeah.
Well...
I'm... I'm not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, good for you, bro.
Just like old times, huh?
It's fucking Nova King!
And he's not fucking dead!
So what was that?
Uh...
Uh, that was, um, some asshole
that I went to middle school with.
And what did he call you? Nova King?
Yeah, uh, it was...
It was just some dumb
nickname they gave me.
You know, once the other kids
found out about my condition,
they basically started kicking
my ass pretty much daily.
Figuring it didn't matter, you know,
cause I couldn't feel any of it, so...
I'm sorry.
But...
I gotta say, as far as nicknames go...
Nova King?
Kinda badass.
No.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, thank you.
But they didn't think so.
It... it... it was fine.
Sorry.
Um, excuse me for one second.
Just gonna...
Hey.
Yeah?
What does it deal with the alarm?
Um...
I gotta set one of these every three
hours or else my bladder might explode?
... ...
... ... ...
...
... ...
Hey.
How'd you two... get along?
We... really are. He's hilarious!
You know what?
I think you two just need
to let bygones be bygones.
What do you say?
What do you mean?
Shots!
Duh! Come on, my treat.
Yeah, sure, why not?
Okay, great.
Hey, and uh, no hard feelings, right?
Yeah, sure.
Feelings, get it?
So clever.
Fucking die.
There you go.
Thank you.
Here you go.
What the fuck was that?
What is that?
Leap and Larry's Five
Alarm Ghost Pepper Sauce.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
It's Novocaine's favorite.
Hey, should we, um,
head back to your place?
You can put those on his tab.
Done.
That was amazing.
That was...
You're a very good actor.
Oh, thank you.
Oh my god, that's gonna be killing
him thinking that I'm taking you home.
You bet you are.
Wait, what?
Have you
really read all these books?
I don't get out much.
Really?
You've even read the
Mayo Clinic A to Z Health Guide?
When you can, um, entail
yourself without realizing
that, um, you know, first aid
knowledge comes in pretty handy.
Touch.
You're a real renaissance man, Nathan Cain.
I never would have guessed.
...
... ...
... I'm sorry? No.
No, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
You sure? Yeah.
...
... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
...
...
...
... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...
I was a teenager, and as I got better at it, I
kind of got more sucked into it, and it was, uh, it
was just like, um, this secret world, this, this
other life that, you know, was actually an adventure.
It's a story, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, you could,
you could call it that, yeah.
How does it end?
I don't know. I'm still figuring that out.
So I have a question.
If you can't feel pain, does that also
mean that you can't feel pleasure?
I mean, uh, I think I can.
Can you feel this?
I feel a little bit of pressure.
How about this?
Definitely feel like something gorgeous.
It's not just you, Nate.
Everybody is hiding something.
I think... I think
we're all just...
...looking for someone we can show it to.
...in a maze that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive what?
!
...while you're behind
the steering wheel ...
...touching you
touching me ...straight
touching you God,
you touch my soul
oh
just don't tell me
So last night was life-changing.
No, no, no. Way too big.
Uh, last night was really great.
Uh, last night was... amazing.
Ah, gentlemen! Love the outfits!
How can I help you?
We're here to make a withdrawal.
Get down! Get down! Get down!
Get the fuck down!
Whoa!
Get on the ground!
Get down!
All right, everyone.
Do exactly as we say, and you'll
all live to open up your prisons.
Fools!
On the ground in front of you!
Hands behind your heads!
Mr. Manager!
You're up.
Alarm's tripped!
Three minutes.
Open the vault.
I won't be able to open it in time.
Forty-five.
Open the vault, or I will kill you.
No.
I-I won't do it.
You won't do it?
They ain't called my bluff.
Ask! You! Very!
Captain Kringle?
Huh?
Your beard.
Sorry, buddy.
You saw my face.
Assistant Manager!
Two minutes.
One-thirty!
Hey.
Hey, now.
Look at me.
Say the fucking numbers.
What?
What?
... ... ...
... ...
...
... ...
... ...
... ... ... ... ... wait wait no don't
stop okay stop okay here's the
deal open the vault or
open her brain pan okay
three okay i'm telling
you i'm telling you stop
it i'm telling you oh
one thirty two twenty six
is that so hard
come on come on Holy shit.
Merry Christmas, motherfucker.
Cops are here early!
Let's go.
Let's move.
Take a bath!
He's got the oven.
Let's move!
Grab a fucking hostage!
Sorry, sweetheart.
Come on.
Alright, three, two, out!
Okay.
Okay.
Let's take it easy.
Nobody needs to get hurt.
Go.
Sherry.
You're gonna be okay.
Alright?
Keep pressure on it.
32 and 34, back up.
Eight minutes out.
Eight minutes?
Don't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I will bring it back.
Oh my god.
It's not about the money.
What is important is that we had fun.
Fuck, he's still coming.
What's your fucking call, genius?
Split up.
Meet back at the shop.
Get on the highway.
No, no, no, no.
I ain't gettin on the highway.
Get on the highway!
I wanna stay there.
He needs our help.
Get away!
Come on.
Which one, Sherry?
What the fuck?
Go.
Sorry. No, I'm sorry.
What are you doing?
Out of the way!
Fuck off!
Hey, hey, hey, look.
Look, man, I don't want any trouble.
I just want to know where Sherry is.
Hey.
You're not a cop?
Uh, no, but...
Come on, man, just tell me where she is.
I'll let you go.
Okay?
You ever fired a gun before?
Do you, uh...
even know where the safety is?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Hey!
Whoa!
Hey, man, I don't want to fight, okay?
I'm not that guy.
I just want...
You're fucking dead, you know that?
Tony, please.
Okay, so those are definitely third-degree,
so you're gonna want to
run it under some cool...
I'm not done with you.
Okay, wait, hold on.
Look, I still feel like we
can get what we want here.
Oh, you're strong!
I am so sorry.
Oh, no.
Hey, last chance. Tell me where she is.
Yes, sir.
Eat shit.
Okay, okay, uh...
Hey.
Hey, man, you okay?
You had to do it. You had to do it.
Think about it, Sherry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
So, Sherry was kidnapped,
and you killed a guy in a kitchen.
Roscoe, just listen to me very carefully.
I don't have a lot of...
Oh, my God, I got shot.
What?
You got shot?
Listen, all right?
I just texted you a photo of a tattoo.
I need you to call
around every parlor in San
Diego and try to find
out who did the art.
What am I, your fucking secretary?
I'm not doing shit.
Roscoe, I wouldn't ask
if I had any other choice.
I mean, we're a team, right?
Yes, a video game team.
We've never even met in person, and now
you're involving me in a real-life murder?
Why don't you just call the police?
You know, I technically
stole a cop car, and then
there's the whole thing
about the guy that I killed.
Fine, Jesus, I'll get you the
address, but that's it, okay?
Okay, thank you.
Thank you, bye.
Details are still trickling in, but we have
confirmed reports of multiple fatalities.
Citizens are advised to report
any suspicious activity in their area.
But to not engage
with all suspects... Shit.
Bad week to quit drinking.
Well, quit drinking.
No, no.
I just mean it would be.
Detective.
Yeah, what do you got?
Three officers down.
One in the ICU.
Bank manager, DOA inside.
Three gunmen, two cars.
They took a hostage with them.
And one additional suspect at large.
Additional suspect?
Yeah, the assistant manager.
He stole a cruiser and followed the gunman.
Witnesses say it's the
same guy who killed him.
We'll open the vault.
Could be a double cross.
Do we have units in pursuit?
No, these were the only ones in the area.
Calls went out at
the fifth and sixth, but
they're spread thin
because of the holidays.
Okay.
Thank you, officer.
Thank you.
We need to get a file on
that assistant manager.
Quick.
Today was supposed to be an easy one.
I'm going.
Thanks.
I'm going.
Coming through, news.
He's on my way.
Come on.
Loans for lunch.
Come back later.
You sure you don't want me
to just call you an ambulance?
No, no, no.
I told you there's no time.
All right.
Sweet Jesus.
Here we go.
Earl, you okay?
Me?
Oh, yeah.
Just...
This is not what I expected today.
Hey, if it's any consolation, me neither.
All right.
All right.
Let me find it.
Huh.
Is that it?
Hey!
There we go.
All right.
Put some on this.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Okay.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Here we go.
See?
Good as new.
Anyway.
Oh.
Whoa.
Um...
Earl, was there...
There's...
There's an EpiPen in there, right?
You mind handing that to me?
What?
You allergic to something?
Uh, thank you.
No.
Uh, epinephrine is just
another form of adrenaline.
It should, uh...
Keep me from passing out.
Oh.
God.
God.
Yeah, that did it.
Okay.
Uh...
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, Earl.
Thank you so much.
Sorry, this was...
A lot.
You go get that girl, Nick.
Oh, hey.
Um...
Almost forgot.
This should, uh...
Come up with a mortgage for a while.
Betty always said you were a good kid.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
All right.
Uh... I'll see you later.
You know, if I...
If I don't, uh, die.
You might want to launder that, by the way.
Uh...
One of our bank robbers?
God, I hoped so.
It would be a shame
if it was the real Santa.
Kitchen staff said a crazy
guy in a tie did all this.
I'm thinking that's our assistant manager.
Oh, boy.
Speaking of... Oh!
Got a bit of a profile on...
Uh...
Nathan Cain.
Single.
Male.
No record.
No affiliations.
Zero traffic tickets.
An online gamer tag of Magic Nate Ball.
Oh, that's good.
Uh... Worked at the San
Diego Trust for six years.
That just doesn't sound
like a Stone Cold Killer to me.
And yet...
Yeah.
Do you have a cell phone number for him?
I just robbed a bank.
Tell the guy.
You really think he's just
picking up his cell phone?
This is Nate speaking.
Hi, Nate.
Uh, this is Detective Barbara
Mincy of the San Diego Police.
How you doing?
I've... I've been... Better.
Did you catch the others?
Is... Is Sherry
the... The hostage?
Is she safe?
Yeah, well, you know,
we're working on that.
But whatever it is you're doing
isn't making her any better.
So if you could turn yourself and
the cash in right now... Wait, wait, wait.
Sorry.
Um...
Holy shit.
You think I'm in on this?
Nope, nope, Nate.
Uh, we're just following
the facts here, okay?
Look, look, look.
Hey, I don't give a shit about the money.
I just want to save Sherry.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's our job to
worry about, not yours.
Yeah, well, I heard
that 75% of hostages
who die are killed in
the first three hours.
So unless you're calling me to tell
me you found her, I'm not going to stop.
Sherry...
She, uh... She, uh...
Is she your girlfriend?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, we, we haven't necessarily
put a label on anything yet, but...
Look, look.
Stop it, all right?
I know what you're trying to do.
You don't give a shit about us.
No, Nate.
That's not true.
We just want everyone
to get home safe, okay?
I understand you care
about her, but... Do you?
Do you know what it's like to wait
your whole life to meet someone?
Someone who changes everything?
Who finally gives your life meaning?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
My daughter.
And if your daughter
was kidnapped, would
you wait around for
someone else to save her?
Or would you do it yourself?
All right, Nate.
Have it your way.
Got a trace on his cell.
Hey, you good?
Yeah.
Let's move.
...29C-47...
This is total fucking shit.
Look, there's nothing on the
scanner about your brother.
That means he probably lost the tail.
Then why the fuck ain't he here?
I don't know, okay?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I don't know everything.
Maybe he had to switch vehicles.
Maybe he stopped off to get some ice cream.
The point is, your fucking whining about it
isn't gonna make him show up any faster.
Watch how you're talking to me.
You may be running point on
this, but you're not my fucking boss.
Hmm.
Andre, I need you to
switch up the vibe right now.
Because you're bombing me out.
Come on!
Ben is gonna be back in 15 minutes
and everything is gonna be fine.
Just keep saying it.
Everything is gonna be fine.
Yeah, fucking right.
No more silent treatment, huh?
I'm sorry I hit you, okay?
Do you, um...
Do you wanna hit me?
Make it even?
Fuck you.
Wow.
I do not like that tone.
I don't like it.
...
... ...
... ...
...
...
...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
...
... ... ... ...
...
... Nigel? Who is Nigel?
He was a Nigel too, wasn't he?
Nigel...
Sounds a whole lot like an excuse.
You know how I feel about excuses.
Don't you?
You're so fucking impossible.
What's done is done.
Okay.
Let's just stay focused on the plan.
And we can hash all this out later
over some pina coladas in Mexico.
Those are disgusting, by the way.
It's in your teeth.
Yeah?
Hello, ma'am.
Is Zeno here?
I just need to talk with him for a second.
Sorry, customers only.
You know what?
That's actually why I'm here.
I'm just looking to get some work done.
Looks like you've already
had some work done today.
Sorry?
Oh!
My appearance.
Well, you should see the other guy.
Okay.
Oh.
I thought that was a real guy for a second.
Wait here.
Thank you.
You.
What's good?
I'm good.
I'm... Everything's good.
Um...
I was just looking to get a tattoo.
Fuck.
What's happening with your hand?
Oh.
Psoriasis.
It's really, really flared up on me today.
Yeah.
All right.
So, where are we working?
Uh, yeah.
Just...
Um...
Right here.
Damn.
I like your tats.
That's good shit.
Oh.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
I, uh...
I like yours, too.
Yeah.
So, uh...
What you want?
Well, I have a buddy of mine.
Um...
And he got this awesome tattoo.
I want the exact same one.
I think he said that he got it here.
No shit.
Ha.
You know Ben.
Ben.
Yeah.
Ben.
So, um... Did you
guys serve together?
Yeah.
We did.
Serve together.
Honorably.
Hm.
Rock on, brother.
Hey, um...
Speaking of Ben, is he still
working at the same place?
I don't know.
Ben doesn't talk about work.
Classic Ben.
Hates work.
Hates it.
Um...
Funny story about Ben.
Um, you know his last name, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
How would you think it's pronounced?
Seriously, you're gonna...
You're gonna love this.
Just...
Just say his last name.
Why don't you say it?
Ah.
You know, never mind.
It's fine.
It's not that funny.
Cause you know, you tell a
bad joke, you have to explain it.
It's not good.
Yeah.
Give me a sec.
Mmhmm.
Yeah.
Take your time.
You know, I'm thinking that
maybe you don't know Ben.
Yo, what the fuck is this?
I'm not gonna hurt you.
Okay?
Just put down the knife.
...
Tell me everything you
know about Ben and I'm gone.
Let me show you how it's done.
...
...
Yeah!!!
...
...
... ...
Oh!
Diddle you little shit!
...
Fuck you, man!
What the fuck are you doing?
I can't see!
Okay.
Fuck.
Alright, look.
What's his name?
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, man.
Okay.
Look.
Look.
Please.
Please don't make me do this.
Fucking eat shit, man.
Okay.
Okay.
This is gonna suck, are you sure?
Fuck off.
Okay.
Here we go.
No!
Fuck!
Hey, hey, hey!
Just give me his name!
Just give me his name!
Oh, Jesus!
Oh, fuck!
It's Clark!
It's Clark.
Okay.
Clark.
Ben.
Ben Clark.
There we go.
Is that so hard?
I'm giving you what you
want, then I'll just fucking go.
Just one second.
One second.
Hey there, Chad.
It's Nate over at San Diego Trust.
Glad I caught you before the holiday.
Yeah.
Listen.
I was hoping you
could run a quick credit
check on a new client
whose file is incomplete.
His name is Ben Clark.
He did serve in the military.
Does that narrow it down?
Yeah.
Yeah.
VA loans.
That's him.
You don't have any
employment on record, do you?
How about a last-name residence?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hold on one second.
Okay.
Shoot.
God.
God.
Okay.
Four.
Two.
North.
Tower.
Late.
All right.
Chad.
Thank you so much, man.
You're the best.
Oh.
Yeah.
Merry Christmas to you, too.
Go Padres.
Something's wrong.
He should definitely be here.
Look.
He's got plenty of time.
We can't leave Toadstark anyway.
I'm gonna check his house.
The house he just left?
Did he really spend all weekend booby-trapping
like he's Wile E. fucking Coyote?
That house?
You really think he's gonna go back there?
Use your brain, man.
He's my brother!
I'm well aware of that.
Take a half hour.
If he's not there, I'll
come back and we can go.
Andre.
Andre!
Don't be a fucking idiot!
Find an Xbet and earn a bonus
of up to 100% on your first deposit!
What is that?
.
What the fuck is that? Why?
Okay, uh...
All right.
Oh, come on, really?
Crossbow. Under the sink. Of course.
All right, whatever. Fuck it.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Okay, I found you.
And now I'm gonna make you...
What the fuck? God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.
God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God
...a snare trap, and
if you don't come right
now and cut me down,
then Sherry's gonna die.
I'm probably gonna die.
Dude, you can't put that shit on me.
I'm not getting involved in this.
You already are, okay?
Look, man, I'm sorry, I just...
I don't know who else to call.
Maybe to you, I'm just some
random guy you met on the internet,
but to me, all that time we spent
together, it actually meant something.
You're...
You're my only friend, Roscoe.
And right now...
...I need you.
God damn it.
Okay, look, it says
15 minutes, but I'll
take the Harley and
be there in 10, alright?
Yes!
Yes! Thank you, thank you so much!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hang in there.
Sorry, that wasn't a
pun, I meant it sincerely.
No, no, it was funny.
It was funny, just please hurry, okay?
Yeah, okay, bye.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, 10 minutes.
10 minutes.
I can make it 10 minutes, okay.
Ben?
Oh, no.
You're here, bro.
Hi.
Who the hell are you?
Uh, I'm just a thief.
You know, just came here to, uh...
...thieve.
Where's my brother?
I'm sorry, your what?
Uh, look, man, look, I don't know
anything about anybody's brother, I'm...
...you know, I just
randomly picked this place
and, uh, well,
apparently, I picked wrong.
You know, most people
just have the doorbell with
the camera, but an indoor
snare trap, egg on my face.
You don't look like a thief.
Yeah, well, the best of us rarely do.
So you just picked this
place at random, huh?
Yeah, yeah, just my luck.
Then why the fuck...
...do you have his address?
...on your fucking hand?
That's such a good question.
And...
...the answer's really
gonna blow your mind.
Yeah, you can go ahead
and take that, if you need to.
Yeah.
Look, uh...
...Ben's dead.
Just heard it off at the scanner.
Who did it? Cops?
Uh, no.
Apparently, it was just some
random... ...good Samaritan.
Skinny guy in a suit.
Look, um...
...why don't you just get back
here, and we'll figure it all out.
Did he seriously just hang up on me?
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hold on,
hold on, hey, let's just talk about this.
You killed my brother!
Look, man, I, uh...
...I did...
...kill him.
And look, I know that means
you're gonna kill me too, but please...
...please, just do me a favor, okay?
Just...
...just make it quick.
There's no need...
...to draw this out.
I got a better idea.
You know, when I used to do this shit...
...back in Special Forces...
...it was always to try
and get some information.
Mm-hmm.
But all that matters now...
...is the pain.
Think about that. You understand pain?
Yeah. I hate it so much.
Oh, oh, oh! No! Stop it!
I mean, oh!
This is bad! God damn it!
Oh, wow!
You sadistic fuck.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
No. Not the pliers. Please, not the pliers.
I can't even imagine what
you're gonna do with that.
Please.
Oh.
This little piggy...
...went to market.
Yeah!
Wow!
God, I hate how you
spent so much time on this.
This little piggy.
Oh, boy.
This little piggy.
Uh-huh.
Oh!
Oh!
Wee-wee-wee-wee!
Fuckin' all the way home!
Oh! Wow, that hurt!
That one hurt the most!
What are you doing?
Terribly!
No!
Please, no!
Whoa, this sucks so bad!
Please don't do that again!
What?
Where the hell are you?
We're leaving in 30 minutes.
Get your ass back here.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll wrap it up.
Not for my favorite part.
I'm gonna keep your eyes...
...in a jar... ...on my mantle.
Oh, wait, don't do that.
No.
Uh, uh...
Actually, don't do that.
Uh, hey!
Your brother...
...your brother told me something...
...before he died.
He said, uh...
...he said... ...um...
...tell... ...my brother...
...I'm sorry.
...I'm sorry.
...for that...
...thing...
...that happened when we were kids.
He said, tell him...
...tell him that Mom and Dad...
...always loved you the most.
Bullshit.
We never met our dad.
Okay.
I think maybe he meant
it, like, metaphorically.
Wait, no!
Please, please, please, please don't!
Roscoe?
No, it's fucking Daft Punk.
Of course it's me.
Oh...
...thank God.
I was...
...huh.
What do you mean, huh?
Uh... ...no, I mean, um... ...it's
just, uh... ...didn't you say...
...that you were six foot five... ...and
that you looked like Jason Momoa?
I said I kinda looked like Jason Momoa.
Right.
He's just a very specific little guy.
...looking man.
You know, how about you just
say thank you... ...for saving my life?
You're totally right.
Absolutely.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay, that's enough.
Look, go do whatever you gotta do...
...and please stay alive.
I need you to be physically able...
...to explain all this to the cops.
Okay.
I will stay alive.
I promise.
You're gonna have to do better than that.
Oh shit.
Cool!
Yeah, get something!
Right!
Oh shit!
knows what she's doing We're
really stopping the ball, huh?
...
Get out of here!
...
... ...
God dammit! I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna fucking rip
your fucking head off!
Okay.
Good thinking with the mace.
Jesus. Hell of a way to go.
What'd you set a timer for?
Um, it was for your...
...for your...
...for your ETA or whatever.
I actually should pee though.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Who the fuck are these guys anyway?
No idea.
Huge Home Alone fans apparently.
Hey, um...
...thanks again...
...for coming.
Yeah, well...
...one of friends four, right?
Yeah, man.
That being said...
...I will testify against you if need be.
Yeah, no, no, no worries.
I assumed.
Oh, shit, it's the cops.
Well, great.
Tell them everything.
Let them go save her.
No, no, no.
They're not gonna listen to me.
They think I'm in on this.
No, if I go out there... ...they're
gonna bring me to the station...
...and by the time I can convince anybody
to go after Sherry... ...she'll be dead.
Wait a minute.
I think I have an idea.
You're Harley.
It's still parked out front, yeah?
Yeah.
Sort of.
What do you mean, sort of?
Nathan Cain!
I need you to come out the
house with your hands up!
Look, come on, don't make this
harder than it has to be, okay?
This whole town's going to shit,
because the Chargers and
the Clippers betrayed us.
Really?
Now?
Seriously, broke our hearts.
Our hearts for what?
To be second fiddle to
the Rams and the... Freeze!
Freeze!
Hey!
Freeze!
Hey!
Stop!
Freeze!
Stop!
Shit!
Shit!
Who the hell is this guy?
Ha-ha!
You've been deceived, for I am not Nate.
Don't care.
Yeah.
But who you are?
Somebody.
Who's about to go to jail.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
I can help you, I can help you!
I know where Nate's going.
Yeah, we'll start talking then.
Okay, okay, but can we
have, like, a no-kick-off?
I'm not making policy from this point on.
Where is he?
Where is your jumpsuit?
I'm not doing this, Simon.
Not doing what?
It's already done.
Can't do it.
Oh, fuck off.
Since when did you grow
a conscience anyway, huh?
I mean, what about all
the other jobs we've done?
We've killed people before.
No!
No!
You've killed people before, Simon.
You!
No!
Not me!
I'm not like you!
You think all this fake remorse
is gonna save your soul, hm?
It's bullshit.
Simon.
You know it.
Drop the gun!
Oh, my God.
Hey.
I'm not gonna ask you again.
Okay.
You okay, Sherry?
I'm...
I'm sorry.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm the guy that killed your friends.
So if you don't want
to wind up like them, I
suggest you let her go, and
you get the hell out of here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my fucking God.
Simon, don't.
You're the guy from the bank, right?
Okay.
This is legitimately the funniest
thing that's ever happened to me.
You've been telling us to try to save...
...Sherry.
Is that right?
Uh...
I hate to break it to you, bud, but...
...she's my fucking sister.
She played you, man.
Yeah.
You thought that she had feelings for you.
Nate, I mean...
...I'm so sorry, okay?
I never meant for you to...
...look, everything that happened
between us, I meant it, okay?
Oh, what a load of horseshit.
Look, man.
You're pointing the gun at
the wrong bank robber, dude.
You should be shooting her.
So now listen.
Why don't you just get out of here, man?
Okay?
What are you doing?
Get yourself to the urgent care...
...and just forget all about this.
Stop it.
Get over it.
I'll give it to you, bank boy.
You can take a punch.
Let's see how you do.
A little pressure.
Perfect.
Simon, stop it.
It's not fucking funny. Stop it.
The crushes head.
He started it.
Just go.
Honestly, just go.
Take the money and go.
I'm gonna stay with him.
You're gonna stay with...
You're gonna stay with that guy?
Yeah.
Sherry.
Come on!
I don't even know you anymore.
Fine.
Hmm?
You won't do it.
Yeah?
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
You know what?
You're right.
You don't know me anymore.
Got him.
Moving in.
Get him on your head.
This one's cooked.
Help this guy.
Oh.
Damn, Vespa guy was
right, he's pretty beat up.
Yeah?
Well, good thing we're
here to save his ass.
You're lucky that you
got such a good friend.
...a little too chatty for me, though.
Backup will be here in five.
We're still stretched thin.
Does that mean I can punch out now?
Wanda's gonna start It's a
Wonderful Life without me.
Yeah, we'll just get the
elves to do your paperwork.
Wouldn't that be amazing if we...
Hey! Show me where you're hurt!
Alright, you're gonna be okay.
You just have to get to a hospital.
I'm gonna take your car and
I'm gonna go after them, okay?
Like hell! I'm not giving you my keys.
Sorry.
Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure...
...you're really gonna shoot me.
I should, asshole.
But I won't. You're taking me with you.
Hey, can someone please
tell me what's going on?
I know where he's going.
Where who's going? Are we going
to a high-speed chase right now?
I don't know how you drive.
I don't know who you are.
And it's not a school bus!
You again!
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Stroller!
Jesus!
Where'd you learn to drive like this?
I used to boost cars.
What? I don't anymore!
Oh, I might be dying.
But I'm gonna kill you first.
You fucking loser!
So where is this son of a bitch going?
He's headed to Pier 7.
Where for?
There's a boat waiting.
It was gonna take us south.
To a taxi!
I can see! Thank you!
You wanna know something funny?
If you'd have just stayed in that bank...
...Sherry would be right
here sitting next to me.
She'd be just fine.
But now...
...Now...
...I'm gonna hunt her ass down.
I promise you that.
Yeah, well...
...If you do find Sherry...
...I want you to tell her
something for me, okay?
Oh, God.
You are one sorry son of a bitch.
You know that?
Yeah, I know, right?
It's kind of my thing.
Listen... ...I want
you to tell her...
...that even though we didn't
spend a lot of time together...
...that I always...
...felt like we...
...could've gone...
What did you feel like?
What was that?
I can't fucking hear you.
You're mumbling. Speak up!
Sorry. I'll try to be a little more...
...Clear!
I like that you're making
me earn it, bank boy.
We gotta wrap this up.
Let's go!
Let's go.
What?
I can't... ...I can't...
...I'm sorry, I have to go.
Wait, wait.
God, I hope I live to regret this.
Take it.
That motherfucker...
...shot my partner.
Don't miss.
You, out.
Okay.
Get her to a hospital.
Sure. Yeah.
God, that's a lot of blood.
At least it's not a
stick shift, am I right?
Sorry. I'm bleeding to death.
Right.
You always did fight, didn't you?
Sherry!
Looks like I finally found a way
to make you feel something, huh?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Shit!
I gotta ask you something.
Feel this.
Nate, Nate!
Nate, Nate!
Nate!
Hey, Sherry.
I love you, baby. I love you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, hey, please, please.
Help! Over here, please!
I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry.
Let me have it right here. I'm not going...
Hey, hey, hey.
There he is. How are you feeling, bud?
What happened?
Well, you've had some major blood loss.
And a heart attack.
And a brain hemorrhage.
And third-degree burns.
And a lot of broken bones.
But you're okay now.
It's a Christmas miracle.
It's Christmas?
It's actually January 11th.
You've been in a medically induced coma.
But still, you're alive!
Wait, Sherry, is she...
Don't worry. Sherry's fine.
She's okay.
Oh, we meet again.
Hey.
Hey, look who's up.
Yep.
You look...
...brave.
I'm glad you're up, because I
just came from the courthouse.
You know, you're looking at
some pretty serious charges here.
Manslaughter, breaking
and entering, grand theft auto.
Yeah, those...
Those sound really bad.
Yeah, they are.
There's enough here to lock
you up until you're twice my age.
Uh-huh.
But you did save a cop's life.
And you also had some pretty
persuasive character witnesses.
Also, you're a white guy
who works for a bank, so...
...the judge took it easy on you.
Six months house arrest,
five years probation.
Get a lawyer to look at that,
but it's a pretty good deal.
Oh.
Almost forgot the best part.
This is from Grace.
My daughter.
Take care, Nate.
Thank you, Detective.
Detective.
You look... Are you
looking at the hand?
Oh, the hand?
Oh, you mean your burnt-up, crisped-up tan?
Yeah, I... yeah.
I mean, it's... it's jarring, for sure.
Is it the worst part?
I just think, like, they shouldn't have
to dress it up all sexy like in fishnets.
It's a skin graft.
Look, I... I would get a glove.
Okay.
Personally, yeah.
Prepare for pain.
This guy must not know
who he's dealing with.
Okay, cast toxic cloud. I'm equipping
the Blackstone armor. I'm going in.
Oh, hey, you're coming on Saturday, right?
It's a big birthday for me.
Yeah, man.
Wait, it's not...
it's not at a biker bar, is it?
Fuck you.
Yeah, man, of course I'm gonna be there.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Dude, just hold it for a couple more
minutes. This guy's almost dead.
No, dude, uh, it's not that. I actually
have to get ready for that dinner.
Wow. You're ditching me to go on a date.
I know, I know. It's
very cute and adorable,
and I will make this up
to you later. Goodbye.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hey, uh...
I can't believe it's been
a year since our first date.
I am... so happy I tried the bunny.
Me too.
And, hey, you even wore your tie.
Yeah, you noticed. Yeah.
Took the dry cleaners
a while to get the blood
stains out, but, um, you
know, they managed.
They did a good job.
Oh, wait, um... sorry, I almost forgot.
Oh, my God.
Hey, you finally figured out the ending.
It felt kind of weird to
have the knight rescuing the
damsel, so I had them, you
know, kind of saving each other.
It's perfect.
Hey! Button that shirt up!
This ain't no conjugal visit, man.
Oh, sorry.
No, this isn't like a sex thing. This is...
Uh-huh. Okay. Yep. Got it.
And I know that's not
an open flame, I'm saying.
Nope, it's not.
Don't play with me.
I'm not trying to play with you, sir.
Just shh. Is he new?
Uh, no.
He's intense.
Yeah.
He's really intense.
Yeah, they're strict here. It's jail.
Inmate 241, time's up.
That was a tight 15 minutes, huh?
Yeah.
At least we only have to put up
with it for another eight months.
Eh, seven months, 19
days, but who's counting?
Man, don't make me come over there.
You're gonna give me a job, so I'm sorry.
Hey.
He's so intense.
I know, I gotta go.
Okay.
I'll, uh, see you soon, Novocaine.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
You lead, Novocaine.
Okay.
Yeah.
See you.