Now You See Him, Now You Don't (1972) Movie Script
- Did I miss anything?
- No, he's doing the same old thing.
[Higgins] Lufkin, why is it that every time
we have a budget meeting,
- you stir up trouble?
- [Lufkin] I'm not trying to stir up trouble.
I'm just trying to get what I need,
so we can have a decent lab.
[Higgins] I think you've got what you need.
Need I remind you, it was just last year
that we bought 10 new
Bunsen burners for that lab.
We've got to draw the line somewhere.
This can't go on forever.
But our students have to experiment.
Be creative.
That's what science is all about.
Creative, my foot.
You're talking about this bunch out there
being creative. That's impossible.
[Lufkin] You're being unfair, Dean Higgins.
Suppose people had taken
that attitude about Thomas Edison?
We're not talking about people like Edison.
We're talking about people
like Dexter Riley.
Believe me, Dexter Riley
is no Thomas Edison.
[Dexter] Nobody ever said he was!
Of course, nobody said he was.
That would be a ridiculous thing to say...
No, Lufkin, I think you better forget
about your course in creative lab.
Just stick with the old
conventional systems.
Burn the sulfur, make clouds,
smell up the place, like you do.
[Lufkin] Now, really, Dean Higgins.
That was good enough for the '40s,
but today, science...
Why is it that every time we have
a meeting, they're out there?
Listening to something?
[Buzzer]
- They're just having a little gathering.
- I don't like little gatherings.
They make me nervous. I don't even like...
Yes, Winifred?
Who? Yes, I'll talk to him, Winifred.
That'll be all today, gentlemen.
That was even duller than usual.
But you gotta listen.
You never know what might come up.
Yes, Helwig, did you find out anything?
Yes, I've been watching them.
They've been bugging your office.
[Higgins] They've been bugging
my office?
- What?
- [Higgins] Are you sure?
What'd he say?
We'll find out! Wait a minute.
I should've known.
I wonder where they hid that thing.
- He's on to us.
- What are we gonna do?
- We gotta do something in a hurry.
- Let's get moving.
Behind the books,
that's where they'd hide it.
They're worried about the establishment.
Hello? I'll show them what
the establishment really is.
Soon as I find the evidence,
I'll expel them all.
Tuition or no tuition, I'll get
a federal grant. I don't need them.
Nothing under here.
No! My homework!
Anything wrong, Dean Higgins?
No, nothing's wrong.
You need an electrician or anything?
No, I don't need an electrician.
You don't have to snap my head off.
If I wanted an electrician,
I'd have called one in the first place.
Don't they ever clean this thing? I don't
know what I pay that janitor for anyway.
Excuse me, could you show me
my attendance file in history?
Mr. Baines says I missed half
my classes and I don't believe it.
I don't think I missed any.
- The name?
- Schuylar, Richard Schuylar.
Says here you've been absent
every Thursday.
You mean it's on Thursdays, too?
I only thought it was on Tuesdays.
No wonder all those epics
seemed to roll along so fast.
I think I got the answer.
If I flunk it this semester,
I'll go on Thursdays next semester
and pick up the stuff I missed.
Thanks, Mrs. Kesley, you'll never
know how much you helped me!
Dean Higgins, do you mind
if I change your flowers?
No, I don't. I've got more
important things on my mind.
[Higgins] Wait!
I knew it. It's those flowers.
All right, Dexter Riley,
I know you're in there.
Imagine it, sir. If one of our own students
could actually win the Forsythe Award!
- With this bunch, that's impossible.
- Good morning, Dean Higgins.
- But Dean, it's $50,000 this year.
- Really? $50,000?
Morning, Dean Higgins.
Young Druffle seems to have come up
with something very promising.
He's one of our honor students. What's
he doing here with a crowd like this?
Good morning, Dean.
There's another beaut, that Schuylar.
Right this way, sir.
Well, Druffle...
I thought we might give Dean Higgins
a progress report on your experiment.
Certainly. Good morning.
Morning.
Actually, my work with bumble bees
is based on a very simple theory.
See, when you consider
the mass of the body of the bee,
the drag quotient far outmeasures
the foil efficiency and the lift field.
- Ergo, it's fairly safe to say...
- Thank you, Druffle.
Morning, Dean.
Howdy ho, Dean.
- Tell them not to touch me.
- Please.
I know what Tinkertoys are when
I see them, but what is this monstrosity?
- What is this?
- It's an invention of my own.
I can imagine.
People have been trying to figure out
the problem of invisibility.
- I didn't know that was a problem.
- Things have changed.
A lot has happened
since Einstein split the atom.
This looks like one of them.
It looks complicated, but actually
it's very simple once you understand it.
I'm not sure I care to understand it.
First of all, you have to read
Bersokoff's book on quantum mechanics.
- I do. And who was Bersokoff?
- You don't know him?
That's funny, he was a very famous
18th century Russian scientist.
He was the man who developed the theory,
"If we could prevent reflection..."
Let me show you.
If we could prevent reflection by...
bending light waves around objects
with a non-reflectable liquid,
we could make those objects invisible.
That was his theory?
Making objects invisible?
- Yes, sir.
- That's idiotic.
No, sir, it's a very sound theory.
If it's so sound,
how come he could never make it work?
- Who?
- The Russian! Whoever...
You mean Bersokoff.
Unfortunately, his career was cut short.
I didn't know that. His career...
What happened?
- What happened to him?
- They threw him into an insane asylum.
They threw him into an insane asylum?
And you're working on his theory?
Yeah.
Don't you exercise
any control whatsoever around here?
You come to me and ask me for money
to buy expensive equipment,
so that nitwit kid can work on a theory
that some Russian proposed,
- over 200 years ago?
- Wait a minute, sir!
We may not agree
with the Russians politically,
we may not even like them,
but as scientists,
don't you think we ought to raise
ourselves above these petty prejudices?
Scientists? I'm talking about a nut
they had to lock up over 200 years ago!
Dean, I'm sorry!
Dean, I'm sorry.
I don't how it happened.
These lunatics are trying to kill me.
Wait a minute.
- I've had enough.
- What about...
[students] You don't understand.
[Thunder]
[Thunder]
[Glass shattering]
I must be going crazy, but the guy
in that car looked like A.J. Arno.
It couldn't be him.
He's in jail.
All right, move away from the car.
Come on, move.
What's the matter with you?
Leave them alone.
They're not doing any harm.
Boys, don't pay any attention to him.
- Hi, kids. Nice to see you.
- Hi, Mr. Arno.
What's the matter?
You seem surprised to see me.
- We thought you were in jail.
- Oh, that. That was a mistake.
You know, the police, judges,
they all make mistakes.
But I forgive them. I don't hold grudges.
Dean Higgins, nice to see you.
- [Higgins] Always a pleasure to see you.
- [Arno] Thank you.
What's going on around here?
Arno took over the mortgage
on the college.
He told Dean Higgins that
if he can't make the payment in June,
- to make it whenever he could.
- Sure doesn't sound like Arno.
That's why Dean Higgins
is walking around on airs.
It's the first time
he hasn't had to worry about money.
But I don't understand it.
That guy's a crook.
Crook or no crook,
he's interested in higher education.
He's already dreamed up
improvements for the school.
That's where he is now.
Dean Higgins is showing him around.
I have to run off to a teacher's meeting.
Anything else you need?
No, Professor, I'm just gonna work
on my experiment for a while.
Holy smoke.
The whole thing's burned out.
How come mine and nobody else's?
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Gotta be in there somewhere.
That stuff must eat everything alive.
I'll bet I gotta replace everything.
[Tapping]
A vector is any quantity
such as a force of velocity
that has direction as well as amount.
I've done it.
I've really done it.
- Hi.
- Hi, Dexter.
What have you done to your glasses?
You look ridiculous.
I've done it!
[Schuylar] Your fingers!
- You better get to the hospital right away.
- I'll call an ambulance.
There's nothing to be worried about.
You see, my fingers are all there.
- They're just invisible.
- Invisible?
I don't know how it works, but it works.
Let me show you.
Now this is the stuff that does it.
It's incredible.
But the main thing is,
I can make myself invisible.
Can you imagine? Look!
Look, human flesh, invisible!
You mean, you just stuck your hand in that
stuff and your fingers became invisible?
That's all there is to it.
Look, you try it.
- Me?
- Why not?
I don't think I better.
I mean, I'm not much
on this science business.
In fact, I don't even know
what I'm doing in this class.
- Schuylar, there's nothing to be afraid of.
- I'm not afraid.
Then you do it.
Look at 'em!
They're gone, but they're there.
This is incredible.
Dexter, how do we make
our fingers visible again?
- That shouldn't be any problem.
- Are you sure?
Of course!
Look, it's just a solution.
It should come right off.
There, see.
- Give me that towel.
- Don't panic, Debbie.
I'm not panicking.
Dexter, what have you done to me?
What are you people doing in here?
- Nothing.
- I wouldn't call it nothing.
I mean, this thing has quite a history.
You've probably heard of the famous
Russian scientist, Bersokoff.
Nobody wants to hear
anything about Bersokoff.
Now, Mr. Arno,
we've got a simply marvelous...
experiment over here by one
of our honor students, Druffle.
He's working on a very interesting
theory on bumble bees.
You see, according to all
the laws of aerodynamics
when you consider the mass of their body
to their wingspread, they shouldn't fly at all.
- Then how come they do?
- I don't know.
That's what Druffle's trying to find out.
What a day to bring Mr. Arno up here.
You certainly have quite a view from here.
It's an entirely different perspective.
Do you mind if my architect
takes a look at it?
Your architect? You think he'd like it?
That'd be wonderful.
It's quite a view indeed.
Goodbye, young lady. Son?
- Goodbye, Hector.
- Dexter.
Yeah, Dexter.
What is the matter with everybody's
right hand around here?
They've been working
on Dexter's experiment
and they might have
got something on them.
If they've got something on them,
why don't they wash them?
I never thought of that.
It did it.
Water takes it off!
It's amazing.
Dean Higgins, you're a genius.
You know, it just doesn't figure.
Arno gets out of prison
and picks up the mortgage on this place.
Next thing you know, he wants to bring
over his architect and remodel.
A.J. Arno just doesn't
do favors for people.
Yeah. What was so interesting
out this window?
I don't know.
He's sure up to something.
And we're gonna find out what it is.
I know, I know!
This afternoon you said you'd do it.
How come you changed your mind?
This afternoon it was
just my hand. Tonight it's all of me.
But it's the same principle.
When we're through, we wet you down
and you'll be yourself again.
But it's when I'm not myself
that I don't like it.
It's too late to back out on me now.
I need you.
Oh, no!
- Wait a minute, don't forget the camera.
- [Dexter] Thanks. Come on, let's go.
- Be careful, you guys!
- [Dexter] We will, don't worry.
- [Schuylar] I don't like this at all.
- [Dexter] I don't either,
- but we have to find out what Arno's up to.
- How do you know he's up to anything?
Because he's a crook. And he bought
the mortgage on Midfield College.
Why would a crook
like Arno want to do that?
[Schuylar] I don't know, don't ask me.
Don't ask me anything at all.
Why not?
Because if I knew anything,
I wouldn't be here in the first place.
- [Schuylar] Did you hear that?
- [Dexter] What?
- [Schuylar] That slushing sound.
- [Dexter] You hear it too?
[Dexter] It stopped now.
[Schuylar] Wait a minute,
my shoes are visible!
[Dexter] That's what
the slushing sound was.
You must've stepped
in some water somewhere.
[Schuylar] This looks pretty good,
doesn't it?
Schuylar, will you quit playing around
and come on?
Okay.
- [Schuylar] Good, the door's locked.
- [Dexter] Look out! Somebody's coming.
Mr. Arno, leaving his tennis shoes
out to be shined.
Must be going nuts, or something.
[Groaning]
Ow!
[Dexter] I'll hit the filing cabinet,
you look in his desk.
[Schuylar] His desk is locked.
I guess I just better look around.
- [Dexter] Medfield.
- [Schuylar] That would be under "M."
[Dexter] I know what it would be under.
Medfield College.
That's it.
[Schuylar] There's another room over here.
- What's in it?
- Some sort of model.
[Dexter] "Dear Mr. Arno,
In regard to your inquiry,
"the law of 1912 permitting gambling
"on the Medfield property is still in effect."
[Dexter] I've really
stumbled onto something here.
[Schuylar] I found something, too.
It's a model of the school. Evidently,
Arno's planning on changing it a lot.
- It has the craziest football field ever.
- What's so crazy about it?
[Schuylar] It has no goal post
and there's a lake in the middle of it.
[Dexter] Never heard of that!
- What are you talking about?
- See what I mean!
[Dexter] That's not a football field anymore,
that's a dog track.
[Schuylar] A dog track?
[Dexter] He's turning the college
into a gambling joint.
Look where the gym used to be.
Arno's Golden Horseshoe Club.
[Schuylar] The casino is replacing
the library.
[Dexter] I knew that guy was up
to something.
"Arno Town."
Wait'll Dean Higgins gets a load of this.
Is he gonna change
his opinion about A.J. Arno!
[Schuylar] Excuse me!
[Gun firing]
Wait, you!
Come back here, whoever you are!
- How'd it go?
- [Dexter] Move over, Arno saw us!
But that's impossible.
He couldn't see you.
[Dexter] Will you come on? He's after us.
But I'll look silly sitting over here
all by myself.
[Schuylar] Will you get us out of here?
So you have the pictures,
but how do you expect to see Dean
Higgins in the condition you're in?
[Dexter] We're not gonna see him tonight.
We'll wait till tomorrow when we're
ourselves again.
[Debbie] If it's so important,
why don't you see him tonight?
[Dexter] Because he's not here.
He's up at the Friendly Sons
of the Forest Convention in Riverton.
The kids in that car can hear you.
[Dexter] Just play it like nothing's wrong.
It'll be okay.
Hi, gang.
The zoning laws of 1912?
Casinos?
Dog racing?
Medfield College, a gambling town?
If Arno's got plans like these,
he'll foreclose on that mortgage for sure.
I'll bet that's what he had
on his mind all the time.
There's always the Forsythe Award.
That's a pipe dream, Lufkin.
Medfield wasn't even invited.
They can't do that to us.
We have it all locked up.
I thought Druffle's bumble bee experiment
would open the eyes of the scientific world.
I wasn't talking about Druffle.
I was talking about me.
- You! What do you have?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
- I'd have to show you.
- Show me!
I can't. I'd rather wait till the day
of the contest with Arno, and everything.
It's such a big discovery that if word got
out, there's no telling what might happen!
How could word get out?
Are you insinuating I'd shoot off my mouth?
No, sir. We're going to win the award.
We just want you to trust us, that's all.
Trust you? This college is going to be
taken over by a crook like Arno
and you want me to trust you,
you big lummox?
- Just a minute, don't start yelling at me.
- Take it easy.
I didn't want to be in on this
in the first place!
If we don't get into the contest,
we will lose the school.
Forsythe is staying at the Medfield Inn.
Why don't you give him a call?
I'll bet you can talk us right back
into the contest.
You think I could do it?
Sure, sir, you can handle that easily.
You can do that stuff really good.
I suppose I could do something,
as a matter of fact.
Winifred, would you get me Mr. Forsythe
at the Medfield Inn?
When you get right down to it,
there's no reason for him to ignore us.
It's not as though we were a hick school.
Besides I've got a pretty good reputation
in this part of the country.
[Winifred] Mr. Forsythe on the line.
Lufkin, grab the other phone and
see how these things are handled.
[Forsythe] Hello?
Hello, Mr. Forsythe.
This is Dean Higgins,
...from Medfield College.
Yeah, Higgins. Blasted!
I beg your pardon?
Nothing, I'm sorry.
I just missed a put I should've made.
You can't put unless
you really concentrate.
No, I've always said that.
- You're a golfer?
- Yes!
- He's no golfer.
- Good, what can I do for you?
It's about the Forsythe Award.
I'm sorry we're dropping
the smaller colleges this year.
Frankly, it just became
too much of a waste of time.
We're not a waste of time.
We're small but we have
an excellent science department.
Yes, I know, but...
If you would just give me a chance,
I would meet you anywhere, anytime.
Maybe I can fit you in.
I'm playing golf this morning at 10:00
with Collingsgood at Thunder Ridge.
Why don't you join us
and we can chat between holes?
Is that Dean Collingsgood from State?
Yeah, what's the matter?
Nothing. That'll be wonderful.
Okay, first tee, 10:00, balls in the air.
See you then.
Yes, I'll be there.
Thank you very much, Mr. Forsythe.
- I've got to go change.
- You're gonna play golf with Forsythe?
- What's the matter with that?
- You don't play golf.
Yes, I do. I played just yesterday
afternoon at Swenson's with Bertha.
Tough course, too. You gotta hit the ball up
a ramp and right through a little castle.
- That's miniature golf.
- It can't be that much different.
Don't worry about me.
Besides it's the only chance we've got.
Looks like we got our work
cut out for us today.
What do you mean?
I can handle the game,
but you better be his caddy.
- I may need some help out there.
- I don't know how to be a caddy.
That's all right. Dean Higgins
doesn't know how to play golf either.
[Forsythe] That's cutting into the ball,
Collingsgood.
- Good shot.
- I was hoping for a little more distance.
It was straight, anyway.
[Collingsgood] What a shot, Timothy!
I'll take it. You're up, Higgins.
We better do something.
Let's let him hit one and we'll see.
You don't have any little castles here,
I noticed.
Isn't that Dean Higgins down there?
I didn't know he played golf.
I don't think he does.
Maybe that was just a mistake.
Let's give him another chance.
He might be better than we think.
I guess I got under that one
a little too much. It went...
Just another swing,
I'll be out there with you fellas.
[Forsythe] That poor old man!
He's worse than we think.
Come on.
Hey, I might be able to use this.
Good luck.
- Are you all right, Mr. Reeves?
- Yes, I think so.
Boy, that fellow can sure hit a long ball.
That ball didn't come from over there.
It came from over there!
I don't know what happened there.
I just sort of hit the edge of the club.
No offense, but people are waiting to play
through. We don't want to hold them up.
Why don't you just take a nice,
hot shower and call it a day?
I'll do nothing of the sort.
I'm just getting warmed up.
Schuylar, which club do I use now?
In view of what I've seen so far,
I don't know what to tell you.
Of course you don't!
Just give me any club.
Next time, I'll pay $10
and get a real caddy.
Give me a second, gentlemen.
I'll knock it out there.
We'll be on our way.
Let's face it.
Higgins just isn't a golfer.
I could've told you that.
The man's an impostor. Always has been.
He has no more business
being on a golf course than...
Look!
That was a good one.
Remember that club.
Seems to break to the left.
Hurry up, will you?
We can't wait all day.
I want to get this put.
If I do, I'll get my par.
Great Scott!
It does break to the left.
Your shot, Collingsgood.
[Dexter] Now, watch this!
[Dexter] What's a nice ball like you
doing in a place like this?
We'll give them something
to talk about this time.
Perfect!
The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho, the dairy-o,
The farmer in the dell
[laughs]
It's got to be around here some place.
Maybe it trickled up on the green.
Don't be silly.
You could see it if it did.
Besides, you can't hit
every ball on the green.
[Dexter] Schuylar, look in the hole.
- Huh?
- [Dexter] Look in the hole!
[Schuylar] Look in the hole.
Why didn't I think of that!
I'm gonna look in the hole.
Of course, in the hole.
There's no other place.
There's that little Dickens!
- That's amazing! Absolutely amazing!
- Isn't it?
If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.
That Higgins is a golfing phenomenon.
Do you know he's had two holes
and one on the front nine?
What I don't understand is why nobody
ever asked him to join the club?
Nobody ever thought
he had that kind of talent.
It's still impossible to believe.
- [Dexter] I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
How come you said that?
- What?
- That's okay.
You just bumped into me and said
you were sorry. So I said, "That's okay."
But I didn't bump into you.
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
I believe that's a two.
That's all right.
I'll give you that one.
He's already had four holes in one.
Do you think he could make another one?
Would you keep these people quiet?
This is very difficult.
People, please be quiet.
Dean Higgins is trying to concentrate.
[Ball bouncing off trees]
That's amazing, Higgins!
I can't believe it!
- Schuylar, what club should we use here?
- I think you ought to use this one, sir.
- You've had a lot of luck with it.
- Good thinking.
[Dexter] It's not over yet. Get out of there.
That's one of the most incredible
rounds of golf I've ever seen.
Thank you,
but with all the excitement,
we forgot to mention Medfield's
participation in the Forsythe Award.
Consider yourself entered.
A man who plays golf like you,
how can we keep your school out?
Let me buy you a drink.
I want to introduce you
to some of the members.
I don't as a rule,
but we mustn't forget Collingsgood.
- Come along, Edgar!
- He can change his shoes in the car.
[Whistling]
[Water running]
Boss, I got the car...
What's the matter? Is something wrong?
- I think I must be going nuts.
- That's too bad, boss.
If you weren't my sister's son,
I'd fire you!
- I always forget you're my uncle.
- Take your hands off me.
I'm sorry I reminded you.
[Buzzer]
Winifred, if that's somebody else
calling to congratulate me
would you just thank them
and take their names?
Who? I'll talk to him, yes.
It's Collins, from TeleSports.
Hello, Mr. Collins.
Thank you. It was just one of those days,
where I put everything together.
Challenge Golf?
I don't know.
For how much?
Yes, you can count on me!
I'll be there today!
Thank you.
Winifred, would you call the airport
and get me two tickets to Oceanview City?
Then, get a hold
of Richard Schuylar for me.
You know that $50,000
mortgage payment we're worried about?
We don't have to
worry about that anymore.
Hey, Druffle.
Where is everybody?
They're all out at the airport
to see Dean Higgins off.
Where's he going?
Up to Oceanview.
He's playing in a golf tournament.
Winner take all.
Dean Higgins is gonna
play golf against pros?
Incidentally, Schuylar wants you
to get to the airport as soon as you can.
- He says things are rather desperate.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
Listen, what time does the plane leave?
- I think he said 10:30.
- Oh, no!
[Tires screeching]
And furthermore, I want it to be known,
that all the proceeds
from my golf victory today
will go to Medfield College.
[Cheering]
- I wonder where Dexter is.
- Will you forget about Dexter?
Oh, no! What's he doing out there?
I think he wants us to stop the plane, sir.
- What for?
- He probably wants to get on board.
Don't you think maybe we ought to let him?
Of course not!
What do we need with him? Sit back.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the first tee.
The trouble on this hole
are some trees on the left fairway,
but I don't think any of our golfers
will have any trouble with that.
And here is Billy Casper,
former Open champ,
considered by many to be
one of the best putters on the tour.
Trying for the $50,000 first prize.
[Higgins] Billy.
You mind? This is a little something
that could help you. I picked this up.
He seems to be getting a few tips
from Dean Higgins, involving the hands.
Wrist, you know what I mean? Wrist.
[Reporter] That's a beauty.
Higgins' tips obviously helped.
He's well away from the trouble.
Out about 270 yards.
And here's controversial Dave Hill.
Former Vardon trophy winner.
A beautiful shot.
He's right out there with Mr. Casper.
It'll be interesting to see
how Dean Higgins' unorthodox swing
holds up against this competition.
There's a pro!
That's an interesting shot.
I wonder what Dean Higgins has in mind.
I don't have time for interviews now.
Maybe later.
[Reporter] We're watching Dean Higgins
in his first attempt at getting out of a trap.
He's entering the trap now,
assuming his stance.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting
for some word on Dean Higgins.
Here are our pros
Dave Hill and Billy Casper.
- Where is he?
- We're not sure.
- You mean, he's still out there on a safari?
- I'm afraid so.
Our mobile crew thinks
they've located him.
- He's around the 12th fairway.
- Beautiful.
Jim, come in.
Tom, I've spotted his caddy
by a thicket on the left side.
Dean Higgins must be in it because the
caddy sure is passing in a lot of clubs.
It's out! Right...
Which club now?
I think you better use the one you got.
It's the straightest one we have left.
We're sorry Dean Higgins
can't be with us at this moment,
but something unprecedented
has happened.
We seem to have lost him.
But in the meanwhile, we want
to thank Dave Hill and Billy...
Just a moment.
Yes, Jim.
We seem to have found him.
He's having trouble on the 13th hole.
If you ask me, I think
we ought to throw it up there.
I didn't ask you.
Besides we're on TV.
You want people to think I can't shoot
my way out of a little difficulty?
Where'd it go?
But I'm getting all wet!
What do you think is happening to me?
Just stay away!
I think you better turn around!
[Screaming]
Crazy, isn't it? How could a guy be
so good one week and so lousy the next?
There's something weird
going on around here, all right.
I'll lay you odds if you keep your eye
on Dexter Riley and that creative lab,
you'll find out what it is.
Not one word.
I don't want to hear a single word.
You, take those things and get rid of 'em.
Yes, sir.
[Higgins] Come in!
- All right, what is it?
- It's about the Forsythe Award, sir.
It's an idea of what Druffle plans
to prove with his bumble bee experiments.
Of course, he will use real bees.
And here's more or less of an outline
of what he's trying to prove.
Well, it looks very promising.
I think he's definitely
on the brink of a solution.
I hope so, Lufkin, because frankly,
I think that Druffle is our last chance.
[Buzzer]
Yes, Winifred?
[Winifred] I hate to disturb you,
but could Druffle come in and see you?
Of course he can.
She lets every nincompoop
in this school in here,
then she hesitates to let
a real scholar like Druffle in.
[Knocking]
Yes, come in.
Mr. Lufkin has been explaining to me...
Who are you?
[Mumbling]
- What did he say?
- I don't know.
[Mumbles] The bees...
What's that again?
It's Druffle.
"Bitten by bumble bees.
Doctor says I'm allergic to them.
"Will have to abandon experiment.
Am taking pills. May be ready next year."
We're through!
There goes the Forsythe Award.
There'll be no mortgage payment.
Medfield is down the drain...
Not quite, sir.
There's... Dexter Riley.
- He still thinks he has something.
- He certainly does.
A mental condition,
with that invisibility experiment.
Dean Higgins, who else have we got?
Nobody.
But Dexter Riley...
[Dexter] Okay, the first thing we have to do
is get everything organized.
[Schuylar] Nobody seems to think we have
a chance at winning this thing,
but Debbie, you and I,
and I guess maybe Lufkin.
You didn't happen to talk to him, did you?
[Dexter] Lufkin didn't seem too enthused,
but we can't pay attention to that.
After this showing,
Medfield'll win the award money
and you and I'll be written up
in every chemistry book in the world.
Me, written up in chemistry books?
You gotta be kidding!
- What's the matter with that?
- I flunked chemistry last semester.
That is kinda weird, isn't it?
First things first. We'll spray you invisible.
As soon as you disappear, pick those
things on the table up one at a time.
- It'll look like they're floating in the air.
- That should look pretty good.
[Dexter] You're darn right, it'll look terrific.
Let's rehearse it.
You're not gonna spray me tonight.
We want to see exactly
how this thing works, don't we?
I've got a date in a half hour.
I don't want that stuff all over me.
I'd have to take another shower.
This is the last time you'll do it.
Now, hold still.
I said I didn't want to do it.
Dexter, now look what you've done!
[Loud crash]
Hold this. You better stay here.
[Cookie] Sorry I startled you,
but I got my foot stuck in this bucket.
[Schuylar] Wonder how he did that?
You know, some people
don't care how they look at all.
Boss, you are not going to believe this,
but I saw it with my own eyes.
- Yeah, Cookie? You saw what?
- I don't how to tell you. It's crazy.
- Tell me what it is.
- You're gonna laugh at me.
So I'll laugh at you!
Will you tell me what it is?
Well, this...
Excuse me.
This kid's got this spray,
like they used to use for bugs...
- Cookie, you're aggravating me!
- You spray people with...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, Al.
- It makes people...
- It makes them what?
- You're not going to believe this.
- Try me.
Invisible.
I believe you.
You see, I knew!
I knew like I know my own name.
- You believe me?
- You bet your sweet life, I do!
I knew there was something crazy
going on around here.
Listen, birdbrain,
this is what I want you to do.
[Forsythe] You know what I mean?
Good morning, Mr. Forsythe.
It's so nice to see you again.
Nice to see you.
I saw you on the golf match on TV.
Very funny.
- Funny, indeed.
- I don't know what happened.
Golf isn't important. It's science.
Hope you have something
interesting for me.
You should have seen
our display last night.
A new version of a helio-spectrogram.
Quite remarkable.
The Medfield Press predicted that
State'll take first place with that one.
[Forsythe] The Medfield Press isn't going
to pick the winner of this contest.
Medfield's display today,
Rutland tomorrow.
Then we'll let me announce
the winner Friday night, won't we?
- Yes, sir.
- Better believe it.
You sure you got everything worked out?
You're not worried?
Don't worry about me. I rise to the occasion
when I perform in front of people.
As soon as you finish your act,
give Debbie the signal.
She'll pour the water on you.
This thing'll be terrific.
Right this way, Mr. Forsythe.
Good morning.
Distinguished deans, honorable scholars,
please come this way.
This would be a good place to watch.
This is Dexter Riley and his assistant.
Nice to know you, young people.
What've you got to show us?
We've come up with something
very extraordinary on invisibility.
- You're not kidding us, are you?
- I don't think so.
Why don't you just sit down?
Let me explain the procedure to you,
so that no one will be alarmed.
I'm going to spray this substance
on Mr. Schuylar and he will disappear.
He will then go to the table and raise those
objects. He will talk as he does this,
so that you will know that it's
his invisible body raising the objects.
All right?
Now, watch closely.
You don't see me, but...
I am now walking toward the table.
Now you will see a vase.
It is floating in the air.
But it is not floating in the air.
Although you cannot see me,
- I am holding the vase.
- Schuylar!
I am now walking back to the table.
This ball.
It seems to be bouncing by itself.
However it is not.
It is I who am bouncing the ball.
We've had enough of this.
Come along!
[Forsythe] You call this science.
It's a disgrace to the academic world.
That's what it is.
Don't apologize, Dean!
It may have been a simple error
in the formula.
[Schuylar] I guess they've seen enough.
I'm over here.
You can hit me with the water now.
I don't want to stay invisible too long.
Pretty good, huh? But listen,
next time try some lukewarm water.
Okay?
This isn't our formula.
This is just colored water.
- What do you mean?
- You didn't disappear.
I don't understand it, but somebody
must've snuck in here and changed it.
Nobody knew about it,
but the three of us.
- Hi, kids.
- Hi, Charlie
You mean I never was invisible?
You didn't tell anybody, did you?
You didn't tell anybody, did you?
- Tell them what?
- Charlie.
- That other janitor, what's his name?
- There's no other janitor.
There was on Tuesday night.
There's no janitor
who works here on Tuesday nights.
Part of Dean Higgins' economy plan.
- And you know the dean.
- Yeah, I do.
Thanks a lot!
It was that fake janitor that
made the switch, whoever he was.
I've seen that face somewhere before.
- What face?
- Arno's chauffeur.
Arno with that stuff could be murder.
- I wonder what he's gonna do with it.
- And how are we going to find that out?
Maybe we should let him tell us.
Testing, one, two, three, four.
[Dexter] Loud and clear. Good luck.
Aren't those beautiful!
- They're for Mr. Arno. Is he in?
- They're gorgeous!
I'll take them in.
No, I'm sorry,
but there's a message involved.
We have to deliver them in person.
There's a message for Mr. Arno.
I see. Okay, just a minute.
Mr. Arno, there are some delivery boys
out here with some flowers for you.
Flowers for me?
Who'd be sending me flowers?
[Secretary] I don't know, sir.
Tell them to leave 'em.
Sir, there's a message involved.
They say they have
to deliver them in person.
All right, send them in.
Who'd be sending me flowers?
Mr. Arno, sir, these flowers are for you.
Ready?
[Humming]
(music) Happy birthday to you
(music) Happy birthday to you
(music) Happy birthday, Mr. Arno
(music) Happy birthday to you (music)
Signed E.J. Higgins,
Dean of Medfield College.
But it isn't even my birthday.
What's this all about?
Why's he sending me flowers?
I don't know, maybe he just likes you.
- What?
- We can't take them back.
It really does liven up your office.
Cookie, take care of them, will you?
- They're plastic, too.
- You don't have to water them.
Just leave 'em alone
and they'll last forever.
That's good to know.
Thank you very much, boys.
I'll be sure to thank the dean
when I see him. Goodbye.
That takes care of the first part. We gotta
set up a watch on this radio day and night
till we find out what's going on.
[Arno] Get a load of Dean Higgins
sending me flowers.
He must really be in a panic.
He must think I'm going to foreclose
on him. You know something, he's right!
[Guard] All right, let's give us a little room,
would you please.
What do you know, a bank taking
in money. That's pretty good.
In this area, Friday's payday.
The bank cashes a lot of paychecks.
People coming in from all over.
So, if you ever need any dough on a
Friday, you know where to come.
That's pretty good.
- So long, Mr. Arno.
- I'll be seeing you.
[Cookie] 20 more points,
I got you in a blitz.
I wish you'd concentrate.
I feel like I'm taking advantage of you.
You threw this eighter?
- Again? Man, you are killing me.
- I don't know why you threw me the eight.
[Cookie] You know I need the eight.
Why'd you throw it?
- I needed the eight.
- [Alfred] I did not know.
If I'd known,
I wouldn't have thrown it to you.
Okay, boys, put the cards away.
We got business.
- Big business.
- [Cookie] What's up, chief?
Alfred, first of all, I want you to go out
and get a car.
Something nondescript
that people won't notice.
Use a phony name,
so it can't be traced back to us.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.
- But his ice cream will melt.
- Will you shut up and listen?
Cookie, this will be the first one of many.
If there was a chance of getting caught,
I wouldn't try it, but there's no way.
Invisible men walk into the bank.
Spray the money invisible.
Invisible men walk out.
- The crime of the century.
- [Cookie] What are you talking about?
Cookie, at exactly 1:00 today,
you and I are hitting the Medfield Bank.
Vertical line, add on,
using the principle of repetition...
we see what is commonly referred to
as the Roman Keyhole effect.
But this in fact can be traced back
to the early Phoenicians.
Early Phoenician art can be traced back
to the Franco-Cantabian-Paleolithic age,
when the first implements fashioned
by the hand and mind of man appeared.
A fascinating question arises
as to whether western naturalistic art
ever made contact with the Caspian
and Neolithic pre-Egyptian world.
In order to study
the Phoenician art form,
we must first investigate
the lifestyle of the period.
And the accomplishments of these people.
Pssst!
[Professor] It is interesting to note...
- Pssst!
- [Professor]... that the color purple
was first found by the early Phoenicians
in a Mediterranean shellfish...
Excuse me, Professor.
...by the name of Murex.
- Excuse me.
- That is found in the Mediterranean Sea.
An extract by the name of Murex.
Murex, which is spelled...
M...
M...
So, that's what they're planning.
If we can get that formula back,
we can still win that award.
They don't announce the winner till tonight.
You go to the police
and tell them what you heard.
The rest of us will go down to the bank.
Let's go!
Now, you're sure about this?
You could be in an awful lot of trouble
if you're wrong.
Yes, sir, I understand that.
I'll guarantee it.
Burns, I think you better go around
and warn all the tellers.
But Mr. Sampson...
I'm not saying shoot to kill.
Just to keep an eye on him, that's all.
Excuse me, sir, keeping an eye on him
won't do any good.
Why not?
You won't be able to see them.
What?
You see, they'll be invisible.
And they'll make the money invisible too,
so... you really won't see anything.
You'll just find the money gone.
That's all.
How do you propose to stop all this?
In order to make the money visible,
all we have to do is wet them down.
Wet them down?
Wet them down, I see.
I suppose you're suggesting we drive
a fire truck right in here to the bank.
Something like that?
I didn't mean that exactly.
This is the biggest bunch of nonsense
I've ever heard in my life.
Burns, you may return to your duties.
Good day, Mr. Riley.
Mr. Sampson...
- What happened?
- What'd he say?
- He wouldn't believe us.
- Nobody believes us.
Hey, guys! How'd it go?
[Dexter] Nothing.
What did the police say?
- They said I was nuts.
- It's enough to drive you crazy.
We could solve the school's problems
and save the bank,
if we could just get
somebody to listen to us!
Wait a second! Water!
Don't you see? Go to the hardware store
and get a fire hose and a wrench.
- Hurry up. We haven't got much time left.
- Let's go!
- [Dick] Here he comes.
- [Dexter] Get down!
[Cookie] How 'bout this?
A spot right in front of the joint!
[Arno] Just don't hit the car
in back of you, stupid!
[Footsteps]
Hurry, those guys are in there already.
A few more of these
and we can break for lunch.
It's about time. My stomach's
been growling for the last hour.
Why don't we go to Eddy's?
He's got great chili.
[Yelping]
We don't have to have chili.
We could have hot dogs and beans.
What's the matter with you?
[Arno] Cookie, spray all the loot,
then put that thing under your coat.
Gotcha, boss.
- [Cookie] This stuff really works!
- [Arno] Okay, let's get out of here.
- Come on, Schuylar, step on it!
- I am!
Will you hurry?
They'll be gone in a second!
It's stuck!
I bet nobody's turned it in years.
Give it all you got!
[Cookie] This money's
heavier than I thought.
[Arno] Will you keep quiet?
Come on, they're getting away!
Got it!
Those are the wrong guys!
Turn it off!
They're heading for the West End.
You and Dick, get down to Taylor Street.
See if you can't cut 'em off at Osbourne.
Burns, what's happened?
I don't know. I was just standing here
and the lights went out.
That kid was right.
Why didn't you listen to him?
Operator, get me the police.
[Cookie] Nice day, officer.
[Cookie] It's them kids!
- What do we do, boss? We're trapped.
- [Arno] I'll show you!
- [Gunshots]
- [Screaming]
Everybody stay down.
- [Air hissing from tire]
- [Schuylar] Oh, no.
Okay, kids, clear out
or we're coming out to get you!
Dexter, maybe we'd better be on our way.
Schuylar, stay behind your car.
[Sirens wailing]
[Cookie] Now we got cops. I don't like it.
[Schuylar] The police!
Come on, Sergeant.
[Dexter] We got 'em trapped.
Watch out!
What's going on here?
Let's get these cars out of here.
- I got to get to a bank robbery.
- We got the robbers trapped in that car.
- You what?
- You can't see them, that's all.
- You what?
- You can't see them, that's all.
Don't you give me any more
of that invisible nonsense.
I had enough down at the station!
[Gunshot]
You know something, boy,
I'm beginning to believe you.
- Shall we shoot, Sarge?
- What at?
- [Arno] Let's get out of here.
- [Cookie] You're the boss.
[Sergeant] They're going to ram us.
Let's go.
Let's get out of here!
My insurance!
Murph, they hit our unit!
Come on, let's get that thing!
- [Schuylar] Dexter, a car!
- [Dexter] Hold on!
[Cookie] We're in trouble.
The cops are getting closer.
[Arno] You're telling me.
I got it! Spray the car invisible.
[Cookie] Boss, you're a genius.
[Sirens wailing]
[Arno] Will you hurry up?
We haven't got all day.
[Cookie] There's no cop on earth
could touch us now.
Go to the right of that truck, Murph.
Slow down, it's an intersection.
Don't worry, Sarge, it's clear as a bell.
[Cookie] It's the cop's car!
How could he hit us?
[Arno] Because he didn't see us.
[Cookie] Come on, let's get out of here.
[Tires screeching]
- What'd you hit?
- I don't really know.
I bet they sprayed the car invisible.
- You know something, I think he's right.
- We hit something.
See you, Sarge.
Wait a minute.
Crazy kids.
Look out, Murphy!
Attention, all cars.
Bank robbers headed south
on Osbourne St. Near 10th.
- In an invisible car.
- [Dispatch] An invisible what, Sarge?
You heard me, I said invisible car.
There's a bunch of kids
in a dune buggy tailing them.
When you see 'em, close in. Out.
That's the problem with the department.
No imagination.
What's so strange about an invisible car?
Nothing.
We can't be too far behind him.
Keep your eyes open for anything.
There he is!
[Arno] Stop, you're gonna hit those guys.
[Cookie] I can't.
The kids are right behind me.
- There he is!
- Look out!
[Arno] Watch it, watch it.
Watch it!
- [Debbie] We're gonna get wet.
- [Dexter] Hold on.
- What'd you go up on the sidewalk for?
- Do you want to drive?
- There's no top.
- Be careful.
All right!
Sergeant Cassidy, come in please.
This is Sgt. Cassidy.
The invisible vehicle eluded us. He's
evidently following Fuller St. Out of town.
Have your men follow three abreast,
I'll have the highway patrol
set up a roadblock near the park. Out.
- Roger.
- He won't get away from us this time.
Not this time.
[Arno] They think they got us! Pull over to
the side of the road. Let the kids go by.
[Dexter] Those guys aren't doing anything.
We must've passed right by 'em.
[Arno] Now, Cookie, take us home.
We'll hit the showers and set up our alibi.
[Cookie] Okay, boss, but I hope you know
what you're doing.
What happened to the invisible car?
Probably let you slip by them,
then went back the other way.
But don't worry, we'll get him. In fact,
he's practically in our hands right now.
- [Cookie] We lost 'em.
- [Arno] Sure.
[Arno] Down the bridle path.
[Horn beeping]
- [Horses whinnying]
- [Horn beeping]
[Cookie] Hey, get them nags
out of the way here!
[Horn continues beeping]
He broke through the bridle trail
and headed down Peppertree Lane.
He's probably heading south.
I'll alert the Riverton police department.
In the meantime, your units
can head on down there.
- Right.
- Officer, can I speak to the sergeant?
- I'm sorry, it's for official use only.
- I gotta speak to him. He's all wrong.
Yeah, I'm sure of that.
All right, fellas, move out for Riverton.
- Where to now?
- [Dexter] To see Sgt. Cassidy.
- Why?
- Because I think he's wrong.
[Sirens wailing]
I wonder what Cassidy'll say this time.
Whoever did this is just like
any other crook. He's got the money.
Now all he wants to do is get
as far away from this town as possible.
If you ask me, he's on his way
to Riverton right now.
Arno's different. He'll want to come back,
become visible and establish an alibi.
Son, that's just a guess.
We've got this whole thing figured out.
It's about time you got here.
I'm sorry, Sarge. They had me out
looking for an invisible car.
I think the department's going nuts.
You do?
Come on, let's get to Riverton.
We might as well go on home.
We've done all we can here.
- Wait a second, we have to get my car.
- I forgot about that thing.
What do you mean, "that thing"?
[Arno] Look out for the police car!
That's him.
By golly, the kid was right, Murph.
Attention, all units.
Invisible car now going north on Osbourne.
How could you expect us to change the tire
when you haven't got a spare?
You could've patched it or something.
You guys had plenty of time.
- You can't patch that thing. Look at it.
- [Sirens wailing]
Wait a minute. You guys hear those
sirens? They must've found Arno.
It sounds like he's headed
for Highland Park.
- That's where Arno lives.
- Chester Ave. Is the only way in there.
If we block it off, we've got him
caged in, right? Let's go!
How am I gonna get there?
I got a flat tire.
Ride your rim.
- Come on, Schuylar, bring it over here.
- I'm coming.
- Schuylar, hurry up!
- I can't. I think I'm out of gas.
Come on, let's shove him in.
- Come on!
- [Dexter] Push!
[Arno] Is this as fast as this thing'll go?
[Cookie] I got it floored, boss.
I don't know what more you want me to do.
- [Arno] Go through there.
- [Cookie] Gotcha.
We're out of control, boss.
Let's go!
Oh, my God!
What's going on?
- What happened?
- You idiot!
- There they are!
- A pool.
- There's the formula.
- It's over there.
- Boss, I can't swim.
- Good!
Don't just stand around.
Let's get him out of there!
[Sergeant] Pull them out.
Get 'em over to the police car.
- [Arno] You stupid...
- Knock it off. Get 'em over there.
- Come on.
- Got it!
There still might be time.
Let's go. Hurry!
Look at him. The winner won't
be announced for five minutes
and there he is accepting congratulations.
The man is disgusting.
That improvement in the helio-spectrogram
was really something.
- I'm afraid he deserves to win.
- He does not!
If Druffle hadn't been bitten
by those bumble bees,
we'd have had this thing locked up.
He's winning by forfeit.
He's always pulling something like this.
The man's behavior is practically criminal.
Eugene, how nice to see you.
Hello, Collingsgood. Congratulations.
You can't congratulate me now.
There are four minutes left.
We don't even know who won yet.
There's Mr. Forsythe on the platform.
Will you excuse me?
I want to get close,
so I don't have to fight through the crowd
- when the announcement is made.
- Certainly.
He doesn't know who the winner
is going to be,
but he wants to be close, so he doesn't
have to fight his way through the crowd.
[Tires screeching]
I hope we're not too late.
[Dexter] Forsythe, wait a second!
Have you announced the winner yet?
- No.
- We've still got time then.
We got it!
The real formula got stolen
and we just got it back.
If you'll let us demonstrate,
it'll just take a second.
It sounds unbelievable, but go ahead.
Thanks. Okay, Schuylar, get over there.
Not with the invisibility again!
They're not going
to get away with it this time.
Okay, I'm ready.
If you just watch closely,
it only takes two squirts.
Stop that!
Sorry, Dean, I didn't mean to get it on...
- You didn't disappear.
- He's still there.
Of course, I didn't disappear.
Can you get it through your thick heads
once and for all
nobody is going to disappear?!
I don't know why
they insist on ridiculing me.
First that Schuylar walks around...
- Something's happened.
- Smells like chlorine.
- It does.
- Maybe some pool water got into it.
Maybe it's just diluted.
There is no such thing as invisibility.
There it goes!
[Higgins] I think I'll go home. You should
too, you're getting that blank look again.
Congratulations once more.
You ought to start working out.
Your grip isn't what it used to be.
Goodbye, folks. People certainly
get carried away at these parties.
[Screaming]
[Higgins] Thanks for the invitation,
Mr. Forsythe.
What's the matter with everyone?
Are they going crazy?
[Screaming]
[Higgins] My dear fella,
you ought to get other work.
You're making everybody nervous.
I've never seen people act so strange.
I wonder what was in that champagne.
I'll have to...
[screaming]
What's he doing lying on the floor?
What a dream! Wait a minute, I'm here?
It wasn't a dream?
It certainly wasn't.
Dean Eugene Higgins...
I take great pride in presenting
this check to Medfield College.
$50,000. The Forsythe Science Award,
for your massive contribution
to the advancement of science.
That was close!
That was close!
We just won the award
by the skin of our teeth.
[Dexter] We sure did. At least Higgins
can pay off that $50,000 mortgage now.
- The school's good for another year.
- [Debbie] But that's the problem.
He was able to come up with $50,000
this year because you invented invisibility.
But next year he's got
to come up with $50,000 again.
Plus, I discovered invisibility by accident.
How many times is something
like that gonna happen?
[Schuylar] Don't start borrowing trouble.
This year's all taken care of, right?
As far as next year is concerned,
don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
- No, he's doing the same old thing.
[Higgins] Lufkin, why is it that every time
we have a budget meeting,
- you stir up trouble?
- [Lufkin] I'm not trying to stir up trouble.
I'm just trying to get what I need,
so we can have a decent lab.
[Higgins] I think you've got what you need.
Need I remind you, it was just last year
that we bought 10 new
Bunsen burners for that lab.
We've got to draw the line somewhere.
This can't go on forever.
But our students have to experiment.
Be creative.
That's what science is all about.
Creative, my foot.
You're talking about this bunch out there
being creative. That's impossible.
[Lufkin] You're being unfair, Dean Higgins.
Suppose people had taken
that attitude about Thomas Edison?
We're not talking about people like Edison.
We're talking about people
like Dexter Riley.
Believe me, Dexter Riley
is no Thomas Edison.
[Dexter] Nobody ever said he was!
Of course, nobody said he was.
That would be a ridiculous thing to say...
No, Lufkin, I think you better forget
about your course in creative lab.
Just stick with the old
conventional systems.
Burn the sulfur, make clouds,
smell up the place, like you do.
[Lufkin] Now, really, Dean Higgins.
That was good enough for the '40s,
but today, science...
Why is it that every time we have
a meeting, they're out there?
Listening to something?
[Buzzer]
- They're just having a little gathering.
- I don't like little gatherings.
They make me nervous. I don't even like...
Yes, Winifred?
Who? Yes, I'll talk to him, Winifred.
That'll be all today, gentlemen.
That was even duller than usual.
But you gotta listen.
You never know what might come up.
Yes, Helwig, did you find out anything?
Yes, I've been watching them.
They've been bugging your office.
[Higgins] They've been bugging
my office?
- What?
- [Higgins] Are you sure?
What'd he say?
We'll find out! Wait a minute.
I should've known.
I wonder where they hid that thing.
- He's on to us.
- What are we gonna do?
- We gotta do something in a hurry.
- Let's get moving.
Behind the books,
that's where they'd hide it.
They're worried about the establishment.
Hello? I'll show them what
the establishment really is.
Soon as I find the evidence,
I'll expel them all.
Tuition or no tuition, I'll get
a federal grant. I don't need them.
Nothing under here.
No! My homework!
Anything wrong, Dean Higgins?
No, nothing's wrong.
You need an electrician or anything?
No, I don't need an electrician.
You don't have to snap my head off.
If I wanted an electrician,
I'd have called one in the first place.
Don't they ever clean this thing? I don't
know what I pay that janitor for anyway.
Excuse me, could you show me
my attendance file in history?
Mr. Baines says I missed half
my classes and I don't believe it.
I don't think I missed any.
- The name?
- Schuylar, Richard Schuylar.
Says here you've been absent
every Thursday.
You mean it's on Thursdays, too?
I only thought it was on Tuesdays.
No wonder all those epics
seemed to roll along so fast.
I think I got the answer.
If I flunk it this semester,
I'll go on Thursdays next semester
and pick up the stuff I missed.
Thanks, Mrs. Kesley, you'll never
know how much you helped me!
Dean Higgins, do you mind
if I change your flowers?
No, I don't. I've got more
important things on my mind.
[Higgins] Wait!
I knew it. It's those flowers.
All right, Dexter Riley,
I know you're in there.
Imagine it, sir. If one of our own students
could actually win the Forsythe Award!
- With this bunch, that's impossible.
- Good morning, Dean Higgins.
- But Dean, it's $50,000 this year.
- Really? $50,000?
Morning, Dean Higgins.
Young Druffle seems to have come up
with something very promising.
He's one of our honor students. What's
he doing here with a crowd like this?
Good morning, Dean.
There's another beaut, that Schuylar.
Right this way, sir.
Well, Druffle...
I thought we might give Dean Higgins
a progress report on your experiment.
Certainly. Good morning.
Morning.
Actually, my work with bumble bees
is based on a very simple theory.
See, when you consider
the mass of the body of the bee,
the drag quotient far outmeasures
the foil efficiency and the lift field.
- Ergo, it's fairly safe to say...
- Thank you, Druffle.
Morning, Dean.
Howdy ho, Dean.
- Tell them not to touch me.
- Please.
I know what Tinkertoys are when
I see them, but what is this monstrosity?
- What is this?
- It's an invention of my own.
I can imagine.
People have been trying to figure out
the problem of invisibility.
- I didn't know that was a problem.
- Things have changed.
A lot has happened
since Einstein split the atom.
This looks like one of them.
It looks complicated, but actually
it's very simple once you understand it.
I'm not sure I care to understand it.
First of all, you have to read
Bersokoff's book on quantum mechanics.
- I do. And who was Bersokoff?
- You don't know him?
That's funny, he was a very famous
18th century Russian scientist.
He was the man who developed the theory,
"If we could prevent reflection..."
Let me show you.
If we could prevent reflection by...
bending light waves around objects
with a non-reflectable liquid,
we could make those objects invisible.
That was his theory?
Making objects invisible?
- Yes, sir.
- That's idiotic.
No, sir, it's a very sound theory.
If it's so sound,
how come he could never make it work?
- Who?
- The Russian! Whoever...
You mean Bersokoff.
Unfortunately, his career was cut short.
I didn't know that. His career...
What happened?
- What happened to him?
- They threw him into an insane asylum.
They threw him into an insane asylum?
And you're working on his theory?
Yeah.
Don't you exercise
any control whatsoever around here?
You come to me and ask me for money
to buy expensive equipment,
so that nitwit kid can work on a theory
that some Russian proposed,
- over 200 years ago?
- Wait a minute, sir!
We may not agree
with the Russians politically,
we may not even like them,
but as scientists,
don't you think we ought to raise
ourselves above these petty prejudices?
Scientists? I'm talking about a nut
they had to lock up over 200 years ago!
Dean, I'm sorry!
Dean, I'm sorry.
I don't how it happened.
These lunatics are trying to kill me.
Wait a minute.
- I've had enough.
- What about...
[students] You don't understand.
[Thunder]
[Thunder]
[Glass shattering]
I must be going crazy, but the guy
in that car looked like A.J. Arno.
It couldn't be him.
He's in jail.
All right, move away from the car.
Come on, move.
What's the matter with you?
Leave them alone.
They're not doing any harm.
Boys, don't pay any attention to him.
- Hi, kids. Nice to see you.
- Hi, Mr. Arno.
What's the matter?
You seem surprised to see me.
- We thought you were in jail.
- Oh, that. That was a mistake.
You know, the police, judges,
they all make mistakes.
But I forgive them. I don't hold grudges.
Dean Higgins, nice to see you.
- [Higgins] Always a pleasure to see you.
- [Arno] Thank you.
What's going on around here?
Arno took over the mortgage
on the college.
He told Dean Higgins that
if he can't make the payment in June,
- to make it whenever he could.
- Sure doesn't sound like Arno.
That's why Dean Higgins
is walking around on airs.
It's the first time
he hasn't had to worry about money.
But I don't understand it.
That guy's a crook.
Crook or no crook,
he's interested in higher education.
He's already dreamed up
improvements for the school.
That's where he is now.
Dean Higgins is showing him around.
I have to run off to a teacher's meeting.
Anything else you need?
No, Professor, I'm just gonna work
on my experiment for a while.
Holy smoke.
The whole thing's burned out.
How come mine and nobody else's?
Oh, boy.
Oh, no.
Gotta be in there somewhere.
That stuff must eat everything alive.
I'll bet I gotta replace everything.
[Tapping]
A vector is any quantity
such as a force of velocity
that has direction as well as amount.
I've done it.
I've really done it.
- Hi.
- Hi, Dexter.
What have you done to your glasses?
You look ridiculous.
I've done it!
[Schuylar] Your fingers!
- You better get to the hospital right away.
- I'll call an ambulance.
There's nothing to be worried about.
You see, my fingers are all there.
- They're just invisible.
- Invisible?
I don't know how it works, but it works.
Let me show you.
Now this is the stuff that does it.
It's incredible.
But the main thing is,
I can make myself invisible.
Can you imagine? Look!
Look, human flesh, invisible!
You mean, you just stuck your hand in that
stuff and your fingers became invisible?
That's all there is to it.
Look, you try it.
- Me?
- Why not?
I don't think I better.
I mean, I'm not much
on this science business.
In fact, I don't even know
what I'm doing in this class.
- Schuylar, there's nothing to be afraid of.
- I'm not afraid.
Then you do it.
Look at 'em!
They're gone, but they're there.
This is incredible.
Dexter, how do we make
our fingers visible again?
- That shouldn't be any problem.
- Are you sure?
Of course!
Look, it's just a solution.
It should come right off.
There, see.
- Give me that towel.
- Don't panic, Debbie.
I'm not panicking.
Dexter, what have you done to me?
What are you people doing in here?
- Nothing.
- I wouldn't call it nothing.
I mean, this thing has quite a history.
You've probably heard of the famous
Russian scientist, Bersokoff.
Nobody wants to hear
anything about Bersokoff.
Now, Mr. Arno,
we've got a simply marvelous...
experiment over here by one
of our honor students, Druffle.
He's working on a very interesting
theory on bumble bees.
You see, according to all
the laws of aerodynamics
when you consider the mass of their body
to their wingspread, they shouldn't fly at all.
- Then how come they do?
- I don't know.
That's what Druffle's trying to find out.
What a day to bring Mr. Arno up here.
You certainly have quite a view from here.
It's an entirely different perspective.
Do you mind if my architect
takes a look at it?
Your architect? You think he'd like it?
That'd be wonderful.
It's quite a view indeed.
Goodbye, young lady. Son?
- Goodbye, Hector.
- Dexter.
Yeah, Dexter.
What is the matter with everybody's
right hand around here?
They've been working
on Dexter's experiment
and they might have
got something on them.
If they've got something on them,
why don't they wash them?
I never thought of that.
It did it.
Water takes it off!
It's amazing.
Dean Higgins, you're a genius.
You know, it just doesn't figure.
Arno gets out of prison
and picks up the mortgage on this place.
Next thing you know, he wants to bring
over his architect and remodel.
A.J. Arno just doesn't
do favors for people.
Yeah. What was so interesting
out this window?
I don't know.
He's sure up to something.
And we're gonna find out what it is.
I know, I know!
This afternoon you said you'd do it.
How come you changed your mind?
This afternoon it was
just my hand. Tonight it's all of me.
But it's the same principle.
When we're through, we wet you down
and you'll be yourself again.
But it's when I'm not myself
that I don't like it.
It's too late to back out on me now.
I need you.
Oh, no!
- Wait a minute, don't forget the camera.
- [Dexter] Thanks. Come on, let's go.
- Be careful, you guys!
- [Dexter] We will, don't worry.
- [Schuylar] I don't like this at all.
- [Dexter] I don't either,
- but we have to find out what Arno's up to.
- How do you know he's up to anything?
Because he's a crook. And he bought
the mortgage on Midfield College.
Why would a crook
like Arno want to do that?
[Schuylar] I don't know, don't ask me.
Don't ask me anything at all.
Why not?
Because if I knew anything,
I wouldn't be here in the first place.
- [Schuylar] Did you hear that?
- [Dexter] What?
- [Schuylar] That slushing sound.
- [Dexter] You hear it too?
[Dexter] It stopped now.
[Schuylar] Wait a minute,
my shoes are visible!
[Dexter] That's what
the slushing sound was.
You must've stepped
in some water somewhere.
[Schuylar] This looks pretty good,
doesn't it?
Schuylar, will you quit playing around
and come on?
Okay.
- [Schuylar] Good, the door's locked.
- [Dexter] Look out! Somebody's coming.
Mr. Arno, leaving his tennis shoes
out to be shined.
Must be going nuts, or something.
[Groaning]
Ow!
[Dexter] I'll hit the filing cabinet,
you look in his desk.
[Schuylar] His desk is locked.
I guess I just better look around.
- [Dexter] Medfield.
- [Schuylar] That would be under "M."
[Dexter] I know what it would be under.
Medfield College.
That's it.
[Schuylar] There's another room over here.
- What's in it?
- Some sort of model.
[Dexter] "Dear Mr. Arno,
In regard to your inquiry,
"the law of 1912 permitting gambling
"on the Medfield property is still in effect."
[Dexter] I've really
stumbled onto something here.
[Schuylar] I found something, too.
It's a model of the school. Evidently,
Arno's planning on changing it a lot.
- It has the craziest football field ever.
- What's so crazy about it?
[Schuylar] It has no goal post
and there's a lake in the middle of it.
[Dexter] Never heard of that!
- What are you talking about?
- See what I mean!
[Dexter] That's not a football field anymore,
that's a dog track.
[Schuylar] A dog track?
[Dexter] He's turning the college
into a gambling joint.
Look where the gym used to be.
Arno's Golden Horseshoe Club.
[Schuylar] The casino is replacing
the library.
[Dexter] I knew that guy was up
to something.
"Arno Town."
Wait'll Dean Higgins gets a load of this.
Is he gonna change
his opinion about A.J. Arno!
[Schuylar] Excuse me!
[Gun firing]
Wait, you!
Come back here, whoever you are!
- How'd it go?
- [Dexter] Move over, Arno saw us!
But that's impossible.
He couldn't see you.
[Dexter] Will you come on? He's after us.
But I'll look silly sitting over here
all by myself.
[Schuylar] Will you get us out of here?
So you have the pictures,
but how do you expect to see Dean
Higgins in the condition you're in?
[Dexter] We're not gonna see him tonight.
We'll wait till tomorrow when we're
ourselves again.
[Debbie] If it's so important,
why don't you see him tonight?
[Dexter] Because he's not here.
He's up at the Friendly Sons
of the Forest Convention in Riverton.
The kids in that car can hear you.
[Dexter] Just play it like nothing's wrong.
It'll be okay.
Hi, gang.
The zoning laws of 1912?
Casinos?
Dog racing?
Medfield College, a gambling town?
If Arno's got plans like these,
he'll foreclose on that mortgage for sure.
I'll bet that's what he had
on his mind all the time.
There's always the Forsythe Award.
That's a pipe dream, Lufkin.
Medfield wasn't even invited.
They can't do that to us.
We have it all locked up.
I thought Druffle's bumble bee experiment
would open the eyes of the scientific world.
I wasn't talking about Druffle.
I was talking about me.
- You! What do you have?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
- I'd have to show you.
- Show me!
I can't. I'd rather wait till the day
of the contest with Arno, and everything.
It's such a big discovery that if word got
out, there's no telling what might happen!
How could word get out?
Are you insinuating I'd shoot off my mouth?
No, sir. We're going to win the award.
We just want you to trust us, that's all.
Trust you? This college is going to be
taken over by a crook like Arno
and you want me to trust you,
you big lummox?
- Just a minute, don't start yelling at me.
- Take it easy.
I didn't want to be in on this
in the first place!
If we don't get into the contest,
we will lose the school.
Forsythe is staying at the Medfield Inn.
Why don't you give him a call?
I'll bet you can talk us right back
into the contest.
You think I could do it?
Sure, sir, you can handle that easily.
You can do that stuff really good.
I suppose I could do something,
as a matter of fact.
Winifred, would you get me Mr. Forsythe
at the Medfield Inn?
When you get right down to it,
there's no reason for him to ignore us.
It's not as though we were a hick school.
Besides I've got a pretty good reputation
in this part of the country.
[Winifred] Mr. Forsythe on the line.
Lufkin, grab the other phone and
see how these things are handled.
[Forsythe] Hello?
Hello, Mr. Forsythe.
This is Dean Higgins,
...from Medfield College.
Yeah, Higgins. Blasted!
I beg your pardon?
Nothing, I'm sorry.
I just missed a put I should've made.
You can't put unless
you really concentrate.
No, I've always said that.
- You're a golfer?
- Yes!
- He's no golfer.
- Good, what can I do for you?
It's about the Forsythe Award.
I'm sorry we're dropping
the smaller colleges this year.
Frankly, it just became
too much of a waste of time.
We're not a waste of time.
We're small but we have
an excellent science department.
Yes, I know, but...
If you would just give me a chance,
I would meet you anywhere, anytime.
Maybe I can fit you in.
I'm playing golf this morning at 10:00
with Collingsgood at Thunder Ridge.
Why don't you join us
and we can chat between holes?
Is that Dean Collingsgood from State?
Yeah, what's the matter?
Nothing. That'll be wonderful.
Okay, first tee, 10:00, balls in the air.
See you then.
Yes, I'll be there.
Thank you very much, Mr. Forsythe.
- I've got to go change.
- You're gonna play golf with Forsythe?
- What's the matter with that?
- You don't play golf.
Yes, I do. I played just yesterday
afternoon at Swenson's with Bertha.
Tough course, too. You gotta hit the ball up
a ramp and right through a little castle.
- That's miniature golf.
- It can't be that much different.
Don't worry about me.
Besides it's the only chance we've got.
Looks like we got our work
cut out for us today.
What do you mean?
I can handle the game,
but you better be his caddy.
- I may need some help out there.
- I don't know how to be a caddy.
That's all right. Dean Higgins
doesn't know how to play golf either.
[Forsythe] That's cutting into the ball,
Collingsgood.
- Good shot.
- I was hoping for a little more distance.
It was straight, anyway.
[Collingsgood] What a shot, Timothy!
I'll take it. You're up, Higgins.
We better do something.
Let's let him hit one and we'll see.
You don't have any little castles here,
I noticed.
Isn't that Dean Higgins down there?
I didn't know he played golf.
I don't think he does.
Maybe that was just a mistake.
Let's give him another chance.
He might be better than we think.
I guess I got under that one
a little too much. It went...
Just another swing,
I'll be out there with you fellas.
[Forsythe] That poor old man!
He's worse than we think.
Come on.
Hey, I might be able to use this.
Good luck.
- Are you all right, Mr. Reeves?
- Yes, I think so.
Boy, that fellow can sure hit a long ball.
That ball didn't come from over there.
It came from over there!
I don't know what happened there.
I just sort of hit the edge of the club.
No offense, but people are waiting to play
through. We don't want to hold them up.
Why don't you just take a nice,
hot shower and call it a day?
I'll do nothing of the sort.
I'm just getting warmed up.
Schuylar, which club do I use now?
In view of what I've seen so far,
I don't know what to tell you.
Of course you don't!
Just give me any club.
Next time, I'll pay $10
and get a real caddy.
Give me a second, gentlemen.
I'll knock it out there.
We'll be on our way.
Let's face it.
Higgins just isn't a golfer.
I could've told you that.
The man's an impostor. Always has been.
He has no more business
being on a golf course than...
Look!
That was a good one.
Remember that club.
Seems to break to the left.
Hurry up, will you?
We can't wait all day.
I want to get this put.
If I do, I'll get my par.
Great Scott!
It does break to the left.
Your shot, Collingsgood.
[Dexter] Now, watch this!
[Dexter] What's a nice ball like you
doing in a place like this?
We'll give them something
to talk about this time.
Perfect!
The farmer in the dell
The farmer in the dell
Hi-ho, the dairy-o,
The farmer in the dell
[laughs]
It's got to be around here some place.
Maybe it trickled up on the green.
Don't be silly.
You could see it if it did.
Besides, you can't hit
every ball on the green.
[Dexter] Schuylar, look in the hole.
- Huh?
- [Dexter] Look in the hole!
[Schuylar] Look in the hole.
Why didn't I think of that!
I'm gonna look in the hole.
Of course, in the hole.
There's no other place.
There's that little Dickens!
- That's amazing! Absolutely amazing!
- Isn't it?
If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.
That Higgins is a golfing phenomenon.
Do you know he's had two holes
and one on the front nine?
What I don't understand is why nobody
ever asked him to join the club?
Nobody ever thought
he had that kind of talent.
It's still impossible to believe.
- [Dexter] I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
How come you said that?
- What?
- That's okay.
You just bumped into me and said
you were sorry. So I said, "That's okay."
But I didn't bump into you.
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
I believe that's a two.
That's all right.
I'll give you that one.
He's already had four holes in one.
Do you think he could make another one?
Would you keep these people quiet?
This is very difficult.
People, please be quiet.
Dean Higgins is trying to concentrate.
[Ball bouncing off trees]
That's amazing, Higgins!
I can't believe it!
- Schuylar, what club should we use here?
- I think you ought to use this one, sir.
- You've had a lot of luck with it.
- Good thinking.
[Dexter] It's not over yet. Get out of there.
That's one of the most incredible
rounds of golf I've ever seen.
Thank you,
but with all the excitement,
we forgot to mention Medfield's
participation in the Forsythe Award.
Consider yourself entered.
A man who plays golf like you,
how can we keep your school out?
Let me buy you a drink.
I want to introduce you
to some of the members.
I don't as a rule,
but we mustn't forget Collingsgood.
- Come along, Edgar!
- He can change his shoes in the car.
[Whistling]
[Water running]
Boss, I got the car...
What's the matter? Is something wrong?
- I think I must be going nuts.
- That's too bad, boss.
If you weren't my sister's son,
I'd fire you!
- I always forget you're my uncle.
- Take your hands off me.
I'm sorry I reminded you.
[Buzzer]
Winifred, if that's somebody else
calling to congratulate me
would you just thank them
and take their names?
Who? I'll talk to him, yes.
It's Collins, from TeleSports.
Hello, Mr. Collins.
Thank you. It was just one of those days,
where I put everything together.
Challenge Golf?
I don't know.
For how much?
Yes, you can count on me!
I'll be there today!
Thank you.
Winifred, would you call the airport
and get me two tickets to Oceanview City?
Then, get a hold
of Richard Schuylar for me.
You know that $50,000
mortgage payment we're worried about?
We don't have to
worry about that anymore.
Hey, Druffle.
Where is everybody?
They're all out at the airport
to see Dean Higgins off.
Where's he going?
Up to Oceanview.
He's playing in a golf tournament.
Winner take all.
Dean Higgins is gonna
play golf against pros?
Incidentally, Schuylar wants you
to get to the airport as soon as you can.
- He says things are rather desperate.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
Listen, what time does the plane leave?
- I think he said 10:30.
- Oh, no!
[Tires screeching]
And furthermore, I want it to be known,
that all the proceeds
from my golf victory today
will go to Medfield College.
[Cheering]
- I wonder where Dexter is.
- Will you forget about Dexter?
Oh, no! What's he doing out there?
I think he wants us to stop the plane, sir.
- What for?
- He probably wants to get on board.
Don't you think maybe we ought to let him?
Of course not!
What do we need with him? Sit back.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the first tee.
The trouble on this hole
are some trees on the left fairway,
but I don't think any of our golfers
will have any trouble with that.
And here is Billy Casper,
former Open champ,
considered by many to be
one of the best putters on the tour.
Trying for the $50,000 first prize.
[Higgins] Billy.
You mind? This is a little something
that could help you. I picked this up.
He seems to be getting a few tips
from Dean Higgins, involving the hands.
Wrist, you know what I mean? Wrist.
[Reporter] That's a beauty.
Higgins' tips obviously helped.
He's well away from the trouble.
Out about 270 yards.
And here's controversial Dave Hill.
Former Vardon trophy winner.
A beautiful shot.
He's right out there with Mr. Casper.
It'll be interesting to see
how Dean Higgins' unorthodox swing
holds up against this competition.
There's a pro!
That's an interesting shot.
I wonder what Dean Higgins has in mind.
I don't have time for interviews now.
Maybe later.
[Reporter] We're watching Dean Higgins
in his first attempt at getting out of a trap.
He's entering the trap now,
assuming his stance.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting
for some word on Dean Higgins.
Here are our pros
Dave Hill and Billy Casper.
- Where is he?
- We're not sure.
- You mean, he's still out there on a safari?
- I'm afraid so.
Our mobile crew thinks
they've located him.
- He's around the 12th fairway.
- Beautiful.
Jim, come in.
Tom, I've spotted his caddy
by a thicket on the left side.
Dean Higgins must be in it because the
caddy sure is passing in a lot of clubs.
It's out! Right...
Which club now?
I think you better use the one you got.
It's the straightest one we have left.
We're sorry Dean Higgins
can't be with us at this moment,
but something unprecedented
has happened.
We seem to have lost him.
But in the meanwhile, we want
to thank Dave Hill and Billy...
Just a moment.
Yes, Jim.
We seem to have found him.
He's having trouble on the 13th hole.
If you ask me, I think
we ought to throw it up there.
I didn't ask you.
Besides we're on TV.
You want people to think I can't shoot
my way out of a little difficulty?
Where'd it go?
But I'm getting all wet!
What do you think is happening to me?
Just stay away!
I think you better turn around!
[Screaming]
Crazy, isn't it? How could a guy be
so good one week and so lousy the next?
There's something weird
going on around here, all right.
I'll lay you odds if you keep your eye
on Dexter Riley and that creative lab,
you'll find out what it is.
Not one word.
I don't want to hear a single word.
You, take those things and get rid of 'em.
Yes, sir.
[Higgins] Come in!
- All right, what is it?
- It's about the Forsythe Award, sir.
It's an idea of what Druffle plans
to prove with his bumble bee experiments.
Of course, he will use real bees.
And here's more or less of an outline
of what he's trying to prove.
Well, it looks very promising.
I think he's definitely
on the brink of a solution.
I hope so, Lufkin, because frankly,
I think that Druffle is our last chance.
[Buzzer]
Yes, Winifred?
[Winifred] I hate to disturb you,
but could Druffle come in and see you?
Of course he can.
She lets every nincompoop
in this school in here,
then she hesitates to let
a real scholar like Druffle in.
[Knocking]
Yes, come in.
Mr. Lufkin has been explaining to me...
Who are you?
[Mumbling]
- What did he say?
- I don't know.
[Mumbles] The bees...
What's that again?
It's Druffle.
"Bitten by bumble bees.
Doctor says I'm allergic to them.
"Will have to abandon experiment.
Am taking pills. May be ready next year."
We're through!
There goes the Forsythe Award.
There'll be no mortgage payment.
Medfield is down the drain...
Not quite, sir.
There's... Dexter Riley.
- He still thinks he has something.
- He certainly does.
A mental condition,
with that invisibility experiment.
Dean Higgins, who else have we got?
Nobody.
But Dexter Riley...
[Dexter] Okay, the first thing we have to do
is get everything organized.
[Schuylar] Nobody seems to think we have
a chance at winning this thing,
but Debbie, you and I,
and I guess maybe Lufkin.
You didn't happen to talk to him, did you?
[Dexter] Lufkin didn't seem too enthused,
but we can't pay attention to that.
After this showing,
Medfield'll win the award money
and you and I'll be written up
in every chemistry book in the world.
Me, written up in chemistry books?
You gotta be kidding!
- What's the matter with that?
- I flunked chemistry last semester.
That is kinda weird, isn't it?
First things first. We'll spray you invisible.
As soon as you disappear, pick those
things on the table up one at a time.
- It'll look like they're floating in the air.
- That should look pretty good.
[Dexter] You're darn right, it'll look terrific.
Let's rehearse it.
You're not gonna spray me tonight.
We want to see exactly
how this thing works, don't we?
I've got a date in a half hour.
I don't want that stuff all over me.
I'd have to take another shower.
This is the last time you'll do it.
Now, hold still.
I said I didn't want to do it.
Dexter, now look what you've done!
[Loud crash]
Hold this. You better stay here.
[Cookie] Sorry I startled you,
but I got my foot stuck in this bucket.
[Schuylar] Wonder how he did that?
You know, some people
don't care how they look at all.
Boss, you are not going to believe this,
but I saw it with my own eyes.
- Yeah, Cookie? You saw what?
- I don't how to tell you. It's crazy.
- Tell me what it is.
- You're gonna laugh at me.
So I'll laugh at you!
Will you tell me what it is?
Well, this...
Excuse me.
This kid's got this spray,
like they used to use for bugs...
- Cookie, you're aggravating me!
- You spray people with...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, Al.
- It makes people...
- It makes them what?
- You're not going to believe this.
- Try me.
Invisible.
I believe you.
You see, I knew!
I knew like I know my own name.
- You believe me?
- You bet your sweet life, I do!
I knew there was something crazy
going on around here.
Listen, birdbrain,
this is what I want you to do.
[Forsythe] You know what I mean?
Good morning, Mr. Forsythe.
It's so nice to see you again.
Nice to see you.
I saw you on the golf match on TV.
Very funny.
- Funny, indeed.
- I don't know what happened.
Golf isn't important. It's science.
Hope you have something
interesting for me.
You should have seen
our display last night.
A new version of a helio-spectrogram.
Quite remarkable.
The Medfield Press predicted that
State'll take first place with that one.
[Forsythe] The Medfield Press isn't going
to pick the winner of this contest.
Medfield's display today,
Rutland tomorrow.
Then we'll let me announce
the winner Friday night, won't we?
- Yes, sir.
- Better believe it.
You sure you got everything worked out?
You're not worried?
Don't worry about me. I rise to the occasion
when I perform in front of people.
As soon as you finish your act,
give Debbie the signal.
She'll pour the water on you.
This thing'll be terrific.
Right this way, Mr. Forsythe.
Good morning.
Distinguished deans, honorable scholars,
please come this way.
This would be a good place to watch.
This is Dexter Riley and his assistant.
Nice to know you, young people.
What've you got to show us?
We've come up with something
very extraordinary on invisibility.
- You're not kidding us, are you?
- I don't think so.
Why don't you just sit down?
Let me explain the procedure to you,
so that no one will be alarmed.
I'm going to spray this substance
on Mr. Schuylar and he will disappear.
He will then go to the table and raise those
objects. He will talk as he does this,
so that you will know that it's
his invisible body raising the objects.
All right?
Now, watch closely.
You don't see me, but...
I am now walking toward the table.
Now you will see a vase.
It is floating in the air.
But it is not floating in the air.
Although you cannot see me,
- I am holding the vase.
- Schuylar!
I am now walking back to the table.
This ball.
It seems to be bouncing by itself.
However it is not.
It is I who am bouncing the ball.
We've had enough of this.
Come along!
[Forsythe] You call this science.
It's a disgrace to the academic world.
That's what it is.
Don't apologize, Dean!
It may have been a simple error
in the formula.
[Schuylar] I guess they've seen enough.
I'm over here.
You can hit me with the water now.
I don't want to stay invisible too long.
Pretty good, huh? But listen,
next time try some lukewarm water.
Okay?
This isn't our formula.
This is just colored water.
- What do you mean?
- You didn't disappear.
I don't understand it, but somebody
must've snuck in here and changed it.
Nobody knew about it,
but the three of us.
- Hi, kids.
- Hi, Charlie
You mean I never was invisible?
You didn't tell anybody, did you?
You didn't tell anybody, did you?
- Tell them what?
- Charlie.
- That other janitor, what's his name?
- There's no other janitor.
There was on Tuesday night.
There's no janitor
who works here on Tuesday nights.
Part of Dean Higgins' economy plan.
- And you know the dean.
- Yeah, I do.
Thanks a lot!
It was that fake janitor that
made the switch, whoever he was.
I've seen that face somewhere before.
- What face?
- Arno's chauffeur.
Arno with that stuff could be murder.
- I wonder what he's gonna do with it.
- And how are we going to find that out?
Maybe we should let him tell us.
Testing, one, two, three, four.
[Dexter] Loud and clear. Good luck.
Aren't those beautiful!
- They're for Mr. Arno. Is he in?
- They're gorgeous!
I'll take them in.
No, I'm sorry,
but there's a message involved.
We have to deliver them in person.
There's a message for Mr. Arno.
I see. Okay, just a minute.
Mr. Arno, there are some delivery boys
out here with some flowers for you.
Flowers for me?
Who'd be sending me flowers?
[Secretary] I don't know, sir.
Tell them to leave 'em.
Sir, there's a message involved.
They say they have
to deliver them in person.
All right, send them in.
Who'd be sending me flowers?
Mr. Arno, sir, these flowers are for you.
Ready?
[Humming]
(music) Happy birthday to you
(music) Happy birthday to you
(music) Happy birthday, Mr. Arno
(music) Happy birthday to you (music)
Signed E.J. Higgins,
Dean of Medfield College.
But it isn't even my birthday.
What's this all about?
Why's he sending me flowers?
I don't know, maybe he just likes you.
- What?
- We can't take them back.
It really does liven up your office.
Cookie, take care of them, will you?
- They're plastic, too.
- You don't have to water them.
Just leave 'em alone
and they'll last forever.
That's good to know.
Thank you very much, boys.
I'll be sure to thank the dean
when I see him. Goodbye.
That takes care of the first part. We gotta
set up a watch on this radio day and night
till we find out what's going on.
[Arno] Get a load of Dean Higgins
sending me flowers.
He must really be in a panic.
He must think I'm going to foreclose
on him. You know something, he's right!
[Guard] All right, let's give us a little room,
would you please.
What do you know, a bank taking
in money. That's pretty good.
In this area, Friday's payday.
The bank cashes a lot of paychecks.
People coming in from all over.
So, if you ever need any dough on a
Friday, you know where to come.
That's pretty good.
- So long, Mr. Arno.
- I'll be seeing you.
[Cookie] 20 more points,
I got you in a blitz.
I wish you'd concentrate.
I feel like I'm taking advantage of you.
You threw this eighter?
- Again? Man, you are killing me.
- I don't know why you threw me the eight.
[Cookie] You know I need the eight.
Why'd you throw it?
- I needed the eight.
- [Alfred] I did not know.
If I'd known,
I wouldn't have thrown it to you.
Okay, boys, put the cards away.
We got business.
- Big business.
- [Cookie] What's up, chief?
Alfred, first of all, I want you to go out
and get a car.
Something nondescript
that people won't notice.
Use a phony name,
so it can't be traced back to us.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.
- But his ice cream will melt.
- Will you shut up and listen?
Cookie, this will be the first one of many.
If there was a chance of getting caught,
I wouldn't try it, but there's no way.
Invisible men walk into the bank.
Spray the money invisible.
Invisible men walk out.
- The crime of the century.
- [Cookie] What are you talking about?
Cookie, at exactly 1:00 today,
you and I are hitting the Medfield Bank.
Vertical line, add on,
using the principle of repetition...
we see what is commonly referred to
as the Roman Keyhole effect.
But this in fact can be traced back
to the early Phoenicians.
Early Phoenician art can be traced back
to the Franco-Cantabian-Paleolithic age,
when the first implements fashioned
by the hand and mind of man appeared.
A fascinating question arises
as to whether western naturalistic art
ever made contact with the Caspian
and Neolithic pre-Egyptian world.
In order to study
the Phoenician art form,
we must first investigate
the lifestyle of the period.
And the accomplishments of these people.
Pssst!
[Professor] It is interesting to note...
- Pssst!
- [Professor]... that the color purple
was first found by the early Phoenicians
in a Mediterranean shellfish...
Excuse me, Professor.
...by the name of Murex.
- Excuse me.
- That is found in the Mediterranean Sea.
An extract by the name of Murex.
Murex, which is spelled...
M...
M...
So, that's what they're planning.
If we can get that formula back,
we can still win that award.
They don't announce the winner till tonight.
You go to the police
and tell them what you heard.
The rest of us will go down to the bank.
Let's go!
Now, you're sure about this?
You could be in an awful lot of trouble
if you're wrong.
Yes, sir, I understand that.
I'll guarantee it.
Burns, I think you better go around
and warn all the tellers.
But Mr. Sampson...
I'm not saying shoot to kill.
Just to keep an eye on him, that's all.
Excuse me, sir, keeping an eye on him
won't do any good.
Why not?
You won't be able to see them.
What?
You see, they'll be invisible.
And they'll make the money invisible too,
so... you really won't see anything.
You'll just find the money gone.
That's all.
How do you propose to stop all this?
In order to make the money visible,
all we have to do is wet them down.
Wet them down?
Wet them down, I see.
I suppose you're suggesting we drive
a fire truck right in here to the bank.
Something like that?
I didn't mean that exactly.
This is the biggest bunch of nonsense
I've ever heard in my life.
Burns, you may return to your duties.
Good day, Mr. Riley.
Mr. Sampson...
- What happened?
- What'd he say?
- He wouldn't believe us.
- Nobody believes us.
Hey, guys! How'd it go?
[Dexter] Nothing.
What did the police say?
- They said I was nuts.
- It's enough to drive you crazy.
We could solve the school's problems
and save the bank,
if we could just get
somebody to listen to us!
Wait a second! Water!
Don't you see? Go to the hardware store
and get a fire hose and a wrench.
- Hurry up. We haven't got much time left.
- Let's go!
- [Dick] Here he comes.
- [Dexter] Get down!
[Cookie] How 'bout this?
A spot right in front of the joint!
[Arno] Just don't hit the car
in back of you, stupid!
[Footsteps]
Hurry, those guys are in there already.
A few more of these
and we can break for lunch.
It's about time. My stomach's
been growling for the last hour.
Why don't we go to Eddy's?
He's got great chili.
[Yelping]
We don't have to have chili.
We could have hot dogs and beans.
What's the matter with you?
[Arno] Cookie, spray all the loot,
then put that thing under your coat.
Gotcha, boss.
- [Cookie] This stuff really works!
- [Arno] Okay, let's get out of here.
- Come on, Schuylar, step on it!
- I am!
Will you hurry?
They'll be gone in a second!
It's stuck!
I bet nobody's turned it in years.
Give it all you got!
[Cookie] This money's
heavier than I thought.
[Arno] Will you keep quiet?
Come on, they're getting away!
Got it!
Those are the wrong guys!
Turn it off!
They're heading for the West End.
You and Dick, get down to Taylor Street.
See if you can't cut 'em off at Osbourne.
Burns, what's happened?
I don't know. I was just standing here
and the lights went out.
That kid was right.
Why didn't you listen to him?
Operator, get me the police.
[Cookie] Nice day, officer.
[Cookie] It's them kids!
- What do we do, boss? We're trapped.
- [Arno] I'll show you!
- [Gunshots]
- [Screaming]
Everybody stay down.
- [Air hissing from tire]
- [Schuylar] Oh, no.
Okay, kids, clear out
or we're coming out to get you!
Dexter, maybe we'd better be on our way.
Schuylar, stay behind your car.
[Sirens wailing]
[Cookie] Now we got cops. I don't like it.
[Schuylar] The police!
Come on, Sergeant.
[Dexter] We got 'em trapped.
Watch out!
What's going on here?
Let's get these cars out of here.
- I got to get to a bank robbery.
- We got the robbers trapped in that car.
- You what?
- You can't see them, that's all.
- You what?
- You can't see them, that's all.
Don't you give me any more
of that invisible nonsense.
I had enough down at the station!
[Gunshot]
You know something, boy,
I'm beginning to believe you.
- Shall we shoot, Sarge?
- What at?
- [Arno] Let's get out of here.
- [Cookie] You're the boss.
[Sergeant] They're going to ram us.
Let's go.
Let's get out of here!
My insurance!
Murph, they hit our unit!
Come on, let's get that thing!
- [Schuylar] Dexter, a car!
- [Dexter] Hold on!
[Cookie] We're in trouble.
The cops are getting closer.
[Arno] You're telling me.
I got it! Spray the car invisible.
[Cookie] Boss, you're a genius.
[Sirens wailing]
[Arno] Will you hurry up?
We haven't got all day.
[Cookie] There's no cop on earth
could touch us now.
Go to the right of that truck, Murph.
Slow down, it's an intersection.
Don't worry, Sarge, it's clear as a bell.
[Cookie] It's the cop's car!
How could he hit us?
[Arno] Because he didn't see us.
[Cookie] Come on, let's get out of here.
[Tires screeching]
- What'd you hit?
- I don't really know.
I bet they sprayed the car invisible.
- You know something, I think he's right.
- We hit something.
See you, Sarge.
Wait a minute.
Crazy kids.
Look out, Murphy!
Attention, all cars.
Bank robbers headed south
on Osbourne St. Near 10th.
- In an invisible car.
- [Dispatch] An invisible what, Sarge?
You heard me, I said invisible car.
There's a bunch of kids
in a dune buggy tailing them.
When you see 'em, close in. Out.
That's the problem with the department.
No imagination.
What's so strange about an invisible car?
Nothing.
We can't be too far behind him.
Keep your eyes open for anything.
There he is!
[Arno] Stop, you're gonna hit those guys.
[Cookie] I can't.
The kids are right behind me.
- There he is!
- Look out!
[Arno] Watch it, watch it.
Watch it!
- [Debbie] We're gonna get wet.
- [Dexter] Hold on.
- What'd you go up on the sidewalk for?
- Do you want to drive?
- There's no top.
- Be careful.
All right!
Sergeant Cassidy, come in please.
This is Sgt. Cassidy.
The invisible vehicle eluded us. He's
evidently following Fuller St. Out of town.
Have your men follow three abreast,
I'll have the highway patrol
set up a roadblock near the park. Out.
- Roger.
- He won't get away from us this time.
Not this time.
[Arno] They think they got us! Pull over to
the side of the road. Let the kids go by.
[Dexter] Those guys aren't doing anything.
We must've passed right by 'em.
[Arno] Now, Cookie, take us home.
We'll hit the showers and set up our alibi.
[Cookie] Okay, boss, but I hope you know
what you're doing.
What happened to the invisible car?
Probably let you slip by them,
then went back the other way.
But don't worry, we'll get him. In fact,
he's practically in our hands right now.
- [Cookie] We lost 'em.
- [Arno] Sure.
[Arno] Down the bridle path.
[Horn beeping]
- [Horses whinnying]
- [Horn beeping]
[Cookie] Hey, get them nags
out of the way here!
[Horn continues beeping]
He broke through the bridle trail
and headed down Peppertree Lane.
He's probably heading south.
I'll alert the Riverton police department.
In the meantime, your units
can head on down there.
- Right.
- Officer, can I speak to the sergeant?
- I'm sorry, it's for official use only.
- I gotta speak to him. He's all wrong.
Yeah, I'm sure of that.
All right, fellas, move out for Riverton.
- Where to now?
- [Dexter] To see Sgt. Cassidy.
- Why?
- Because I think he's wrong.
[Sirens wailing]
I wonder what Cassidy'll say this time.
Whoever did this is just like
any other crook. He's got the money.
Now all he wants to do is get
as far away from this town as possible.
If you ask me, he's on his way
to Riverton right now.
Arno's different. He'll want to come back,
become visible and establish an alibi.
Son, that's just a guess.
We've got this whole thing figured out.
It's about time you got here.
I'm sorry, Sarge. They had me out
looking for an invisible car.
I think the department's going nuts.
You do?
Come on, let's get to Riverton.
We might as well go on home.
We've done all we can here.
- Wait a second, we have to get my car.
- I forgot about that thing.
What do you mean, "that thing"?
[Arno] Look out for the police car!
That's him.
By golly, the kid was right, Murph.
Attention, all units.
Invisible car now going north on Osbourne.
How could you expect us to change the tire
when you haven't got a spare?
You could've patched it or something.
You guys had plenty of time.
- You can't patch that thing. Look at it.
- [Sirens wailing]
Wait a minute. You guys hear those
sirens? They must've found Arno.
It sounds like he's headed
for Highland Park.
- That's where Arno lives.
- Chester Ave. Is the only way in there.
If we block it off, we've got him
caged in, right? Let's go!
How am I gonna get there?
I got a flat tire.
Ride your rim.
- Come on, Schuylar, bring it over here.
- I'm coming.
- Schuylar, hurry up!
- I can't. I think I'm out of gas.
Come on, let's shove him in.
- Come on!
- [Dexter] Push!
[Arno] Is this as fast as this thing'll go?
[Cookie] I got it floored, boss.
I don't know what more you want me to do.
- [Arno] Go through there.
- [Cookie] Gotcha.
We're out of control, boss.
Let's go!
Oh, my God!
What's going on?
- What happened?
- You idiot!
- There they are!
- A pool.
- There's the formula.
- It's over there.
- Boss, I can't swim.
- Good!
Don't just stand around.
Let's get him out of there!
[Sergeant] Pull them out.
Get 'em over to the police car.
- [Arno] You stupid...
- Knock it off. Get 'em over there.
- Come on.
- Got it!
There still might be time.
Let's go. Hurry!
Look at him. The winner won't
be announced for five minutes
and there he is accepting congratulations.
The man is disgusting.
That improvement in the helio-spectrogram
was really something.
- I'm afraid he deserves to win.
- He does not!
If Druffle hadn't been bitten
by those bumble bees,
we'd have had this thing locked up.
He's winning by forfeit.
He's always pulling something like this.
The man's behavior is practically criminal.
Eugene, how nice to see you.
Hello, Collingsgood. Congratulations.
You can't congratulate me now.
There are four minutes left.
We don't even know who won yet.
There's Mr. Forsythe on the platform.
Will you excuse me?
I want to get close,
so I don't have to fight through the crowd
- when the announcement is made.
- Certainly.
He doesn't know who the winner
is going to be,
but he wants to be close, so he doesn't
have to fight his way through the crowd.
[Tires screeching]
I hope we're not too late.
[Dexter] Forsythe, wait a second!
Have you announced the winner yet?
- No.
- We've still got time then.
We got it!
The real formula got stolen
and we just got it back.
If you'll let us demonstrate,
it'll just take a second.
It sounds unbelievable, but go ahead.
Thanks. Okay, Schuylar, get over there.
Not with the invisibility again!
They're not going
to get away with it this time.
Okay, I'm ready.
If you just watch closely,
it only takes two squirts.
Stop that!
Sorry, Dean, I didn't mean to get it on...
- You didn't disappear.
- He's still there.
Of course, I didn't disappear.
Can you get it through your thick heads
once and for all
nobody is going to disappear?!
I don't know why
they insist on ridiculing me.
First that Schuylar walks around...
- Something's happened.
- Smells like chlorine.
- It does.
- Maybe some pool water got into it.
Maybe it's just diluted.
There is no such thing as invisibility.
There it goes!
[Higgins] I think I'll go home. You should
too, you're getting that blank look again.
Congratulations once more.
You ought to start working out.
Your grip isn't what it used to be.
Goodbye, folks. People certainly
get carried away at these parties.
[Screaming]
[Higgins] Thanks for the invitation,
Mr. Forsythe.
What's the matter with everyone?
Are they going crazy?
[Screaming]
[Higgins] My dear fella,
you ought to get other work.
You're making everybody nervous.
I've never seen people act so strange.
I wonder what was in that champagne.
I'll have to...
[screaming]
What's he doing lying on the floor?
What a dream! Wait a minute, I'm here?
It wasn't a dream?
It certainly wasn't.
Dean Eugene Higgins...
I take great pride in presenting
this check to Medfield College.
$50,000. The Forsythe Science Award,
for your massive contribution
to the advancement of science.
That was close!
That was close!
We just won the award
by the skin of our teeth.
[Dexter] We sure did. At least Higgins
can pay off that $50,000 mortgage now.
- The school's good for another year.
- [Debbie] But that's the problem.
He was able to come up with $50,000
this year because you invented invisibility.
But next year he's got
to come up with $50,000 again.
Plus, I discovered invisibility by accident.
How many times is something
like that gonna happen?
[Schuylar] Don't start borrowing trouble.
This year's all taken care of, right?
As far as next year is concerned,
don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.