Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010) Movie Script

Forgive me.
Which of you nuns
violated my first commandment?
You do not steal from Chavo.
Did you steal from Chavo?
You can tell me, mother.
I will hear you.
Yes or no?
Now, you!
Did you steal from Chavo?
No? You lie to me ?
- You lie to Chavo?
- No.
Where d'you go?
Where are you going?
Come here.
Take her.
WHo your trouble
Thank you.
Let's go.
From Father Bernardo.
Go ahead. Pick the one you want.
It's on the house.
You want the special?
Very good.
I go and get her ready for you.
Faster. Do I have to dick this bitch ?
going to pay triple for that holly piece of ass.
- You knew nun pussy was in such demand, hey.
- I told you for the last time.
She cant handle anymore.
- Use another girl.
- No, no, no.
They need to know it's a real nun.
There are no dirty whore. Do not like it.
- I can help you.
- Damn quacks.
You got money to do this.
So do it.
I may be a lot of things
but I'm no Murderer.
I'll do it.
Get older.
Mother fucker Padre Bernardo Damn.
God bless him.
You think that's funny?
Come, laugh with me.
Another one.
You dont care how much You pay for a nun.
There ...
spoil ...
Get your ass here.
Get rid of them. Now.
I was certain God came to me.
He said: have a better purpose in life.
God didn't talk to you.
It was just a bad reaction
about that shit in your body.
- What did God tell you.
- He told me to kill.
- To kill who ?
- All who sin against him.
God told you to start going around
killing people?
You must have been tripping badly..
Because ... I gave you the good stuff.
He wanted me to go away.
To purify my mind
only with his words.
Only then could I be prepared
to do his vengeance
Forget it.
For you.
If you're going to be doing the Lord's work..
you'll need the god's tools.
Carefull, hey, they are loaded.
What else did God tell you ?
He told me He was going to test me.
To see if I was worthy
to take on his mission.
- What kind of test?
- I w'ld have to show no mercy.
even to someone who show mercy on me.
Take care of my drugs.
- Thank you, Father.
- Bon voyage, my son.
Goodbye, Carlitos.
Bueno Suerte.
You have a customer over here.
Let God, who has enlightened every heart
teach you to know your sins
and trust in his mercy.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been one day since my last confession.
What sins troubles you so much
that you must return after one day?
Just business as usual at our monastery.
The nuns carried the dope.
Our cousin priests were counting the money.
I just did not know that death was about to make
an appeareance in this house of God.
Stranger killed the priest?
Patience, padre, I'm getting to the good part.
The stranger leaned in and whispered into his ear.
This must have put the fear of God into him,
because all he could say was,
And that's all the stranger needed to hear.
The stranger pushed the priest into his chair..
..turned and walked away.
But the priest had one more hail near the officery
He reached for a gun... Bang ! Bang, Bang !
- Priest killed the stranger?
- No.
Stranger killed the priest?
What happened to the priest?
Four shots.
Forehead ...
sternum ...
shoulder ...
Sign of the Cross.
What happened to the stranger?
He came in as a vilain
and managed like an angel.
Bullshit. I've heard nothing of this.
How do I know it's even true?
Who the fuck are you?
Who sent you? Talk to me!
Who the hell ...
A fucking liar yelper.
So Natcha is running around wacking priests left in, right ?
Why the hell am I paying protection every month
for you people care to protect the one damned thing?
Stop your worrying.
You are still alive, aren't you?
Don't give me that. I fucked used my men, for Christ's sake.
- How do I know I'm not next on his list?
- I said we take care of it.
Hello? Hello?
Bullshit! Ther's a goddamned vigilante
running around wacking priests...
...and all they can tell me is they'll take care of it?
Take care of it how?
like they took care of Father Bernardo?
Where is the world coming to when a man
of the clerck can't even do God's work?
It's a God dammned shame.
Bernardo was a good earner.
May God have mercy on his soul.
- Hello. How are you?
- There's something wrong. You can look at it, please?
- What a shit hole!
- Penny, watch your mouth !.
- But it is.
- Come here.
- That's for the attitude, young missy.
- Dad!
I can fit my finger in your radiator.
It's rusted.
Hey man, let's take a little bit of this.
They won't miss it.
That's how people get killed.
Just kidding, anyway.
I'm going to see what guys doin.
You do that.
Just miss my friends, you know.
I could be on the beach, at the ocean ...
- Look at all you ...
- Dude!
Come check this shit out.
- Do not look at them.
- Where's Dad?
- Ladies!
- Get your hands off her!
- What happened?
- I was just fucking around with my buddy.
Your buddy?
Why are you crying?
It's okay. Come.
Come, come.
- We do not want any trouble
- Trouble? Do we look like trouble?
- So you are a bunch of nice guys.
- Yes, yes. We are very very nice guys.
But ... we do have a problem
when people come to our establishment
and they dont want to pay respect.
I do pay respect.
Do I look a puta?
- No!
- You called me puta, no?
Are you trying to pay me with puta money?
Want to see the puta?
Here she is.
Show him a puta guys.
You good, took it... with courage.
Be a man.
Go ahead and save her from the bankin.
I'll stop. I promise.
Come on, you can do it. Go!
Be a man.
Go! Save her!
I'm sorry about your daddy.
I think I'll have to be play the role of Papa.
You're cute.
- Chavo on the phone.
- Who?
- It's him.
- Damn! What does he want?
He wants to talk to you.
- How does he sound?
- He sounds serious.
I come back for you, Momy.
Chavez's repair.
You're welcome, we don't give a shit.
Father Bernardo is dead.
And so are Lobo and Chinaco.
It was a godamned massacre.
They took nothing. No money, no drugs.
It was strictly personal.
Round up your men and get the word out.
Ole Cheffe, we have a surprise for you.
Isn't she sweet?You check.
Isn't that right Kick Stand?
Sure No.
- Do you like to pop her cherry?
- Yes.
But I can't.
We have work to do.
Muchachos ... We are in the middle of a holy war.
In fact, my maman did say to me:
"If you want a sweet nice ripe peach,
you have to wait a while, fallin under the tree. "
I like it ripe and nice and juicy this way.
Here Ramon.
My papa said:
"Acre or sweet, we need to chew."
That's what he said. Hey.
Chavo? Where are you going?
You're talking about my mamma to say
and how much about your dirty stinking fucking father?
I said nothing.
If we talk of mother
gonna fly eggs.
- Chavo!
- Let's not talk about my mother.
If anybody else wants to talk about my mama,
be prepared to get a few punches.
- Rigo!
- Yes.
- Do you like this one?
- Yes.
Do you want me to give her to you?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Give her to him.
Not now. Go away. Leave me alone.
Hello, Chavo.
You done a great job
taking care of my place.
I am I made you a lot of money.
Listen up.
There's a vigilante on the streets.
going around and killing the bad guys.
In case you guys forgot, we are the bad guys.
Anybody comes through that door,I want to know about it.
Go! Go!
alright alright, I'm on it !
My hat.
In witness pleasuring one another in God's house.
That kind of blasphemy will not be tolerated
in my church.
- Fr Carlitos there. And he is scared.
- Okay.
Why don't we just call the police
and let's them take care of it?
Jews have called for help.
When Moses came down from the mountain,
did not ask who is on their side.
They responded by taking arms
the name of the Lord
slay all who oppose the Lord.
Spared noone.
Are you ready for this?
Are you ready going with xxx bleeding
and shooting of a short and killing more priests?
I am not ready for this.
You know what they did to us?
you know they will continue to do to all like us.
They must be punished, Angelina.
be punished on behalf of true believers.
Look at me.
How am i supposed to be the hand of God,
If i can't even hold my own hands still?
All I can think is going back
at the monastery, in my filthy cell,
Where they can stick needles in my arm
and I can forget.
Mother Magda told me to die.
deep die.
I was there.
When I was in his arms
Lord spoke to me.
giving me his calling.
One, I was agreeing for .
One I'll have to prepare for.
- What did the Lord say?
- It wasn't words.
It was intense emotion of being alive
one that spoke to me.
How did you escape them?
Lord sent an angel to guide me back to his kingdom
to protect me.
- like doing your protecting me now?
- Yes.
Now that we found each other,
We will be whole again.
Ther is no easy road to become a nun.
It is not a life of refuge from the outside world,
It is a life of sacrifice.
When times become unbearable,
we take comfort in knowing...
...that the sacrifice that we make
is the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ.
When you pass through those doors,
you will be born into a new life.
You'll enter with nothing and you will be
absolved of sins without questions.
We do not ask nor do we speak
of our past lifes upon entry.
To make a closer union with the crucified Lord,
You will be submitted to...
... exercises in tasks
and humility.
If you question this trial,
you do not belong with us.
To be obedient in all things until death
with the love of God.
Is to be perfect nun.
You want me to take care of it?
I am in the mood for a good jerk-off story.
- I'm on it.
- It Could be the priests's killer.
The Good Book is all the protection I need.
May God who has enlightened every soul..
..teach you to know your sins
and trust in his mercy.
Forgive me, Lord,
for I'm about to sin.
I'm not the Lord, he only works through me.
Now tell me what is so heavy on your heart.. must come to confession
at this unearthy hour?
I'm not here to confess any sins.
I'm here to commit them.
You must have Balls in steel to come to my house.
Do you know who your dealing with?
How much money comes through this church?
Kiilling a couple of thugs and a priest
is not going to stop anything.
- You have no idea what you're out against fuck.
- Just tell me who you work for.
and you won't have to suffer the same fate as your brothers.
I work for the Lord.
He is my sheperd.
Make yourself comfortable.
Is always the same.
Fuck. Passing.
There is nothing sacred any more.
Dont coverup. It's alright.
Its a minute.
- I need a room.
- By the hour or by the night?
- By the night.
- That will be 30 dollars, cash.
Lucky Room number seven.
These guys, they're yours.
- You good?
- Yah.
How can you get to count everybody's money,
including your own?
What's your problem?
You want to count my money?
- I'd like to see them.
- Count me.
- Count me.
- No, that's alright. It's good.
Go ahead to your business, man.
- Chavo's workshop, Rigo.
- Get me Chavo on the phone. Now!
OK. Ok.
- Carlitos, who?
- The one bastards killed him in his own church.
- He should have prayed harder.
- You need to put an end to this, right now.
You want us to track down this little eraser its going
to be double the regular price.
- I don't have that kind of money.
- Hey , Padre, don't fuck with me.
We've already lost two men
in your holy war.
In fact, I know Jesus has deep pockets
for this kind of shit.
If you won't double the pay,
Then I won't all this done in half the time.
Meet Mother Magda at Carlitos his church.
She is expecting you.
Carlitos ...
It sounds good.
This way.
You guys stay here and make sure
we don't have any unwanted visitors.
- What do you think?
- I'm dead alright.
You can stop them. Make them pay.
You know, you're not exactly the forgiving type, Magda.
You know, turn the other cheek, love thy enemy ...
..and All the bullshit you preach.
Listen, They called me up from my monastery
to fix this.
And I expect it to be resolved
as soon as possible.
I heard you the first time,OK ?
I know, Iknow you want it fast.
You want a miracle.
That's your business.
But by the looks of things,
Your businesss not doing very well.
Now. Are here any witnesses?
Sister Mary was the first one
to alert us of the situation.
- Then get her ass in here.
- This won't do any good.
Sister Marytook a vow of silence 20 years ago.
I keep her around just because she knows
how to keep a big mouth shut.
We'll see about that . Bring her.
Who did this?
Who killed these men?
I am going to ask you one more time nicely.
If you do not want to talk, I'm going to let
Kick Stand take over the questioning.
Who killed these men?
OK. It's your choice.
I'll be right back.
Mary, tell me what you saw now.
Mary what did you see?
It's alright. You can talk.
I won't tell anyone.
Just between us.
Mary, they are going to come back here..
.. then I can not stop them.
What did you see?
Kick Stand, get your dick over here.
Who killed them, Mary?
You know who it was, don't you?
You've seen them before,Haven't you?
What did they look like?
Kick Stand, go to work.
I'll nail your arse as they
nailed Jesus to the cross.
Kick Stand, enough.
It was a nun.
- It was God's hands.
- A nun?
It's like one of your penguins is to recoup , Magda.
- What kind of gun did she have?
- Big guns.
I looked into her eyes
and saw the devil in them.
- What to do now, boss?
- First, w're going to handle the troops and then ...
we are going nun-hunting
Halfbreed quit fucking around, get up here.
We're looking for a nun.
A nun with big guns.
You mean, "big guns" like in "Big Tits"?
I said guns.
I'm surrounded by idiots.
Pull yourself together, or you'll end up here
in a pine box.
Spread the rumor on the streets.
Fix that. Go check that out.
What about her?
She is a nun.
Yes she is.
Are you a killer?
No, no, no. Not this one, hey. Ouhh.
I don't think she can even hold a gun
much less shoot one.
Let's go.
back for you later.
S back errant daughter.
When they didn't find your body in Valambrosa
I thought even it was you causing all this trouble.
And now that you sit before me
I know Iknow my words are true.
The only thing worse is resting in your arms.
I know you would not last a week outside of here.
Are you looking for someone?
Well, take a good look at him.
God punishes those
Why I serve Satan.
Let me go.
- A delivery from Magda.
- What should I do with her?
I thought w're done with this nun bullshit.
Magda said to give her to Chavo and when he
is finished with her just throw out the rest of the trash.
- Put it in that booth.
- Alright.
Nice rack.
- Hi, Chavo.
- Hello, love.
Go Tell Beverly to bring me some beer, please.
Come with me.
Just like I remember heyy.
- Dance for me, Mamasicu?
- Of course.
Come on, come here.
Thanks, Beverly.
Listen, if you see a crazy chick like that
youshoot first and ask questions later
That's Chavo's orders.
- Halfbreed, would you like a beer?
- What the fuck you think, bitch? Yeah.
I think God is trying to tell me something.
everywhere I go, I see nuns.
What the fuck you said earlier, honey?
The girl in the picture. I saw one checking in
at the Palms Hotel, last night.
Really dirty looking one too.
She mihgt have, don't know,.. a drinking problem.
You saw this chick, a nun
checking in a piece-of-shit motel last night?
I was with Butch.
Ask her, sh'll tell you the same thing.
If you're wrong about this, Beverly,
God fucking help you.
- What do you want? I'm in the middle of something.
- I need you to wake the fuck up and pay attention.
Yes, now you got my undivided attention.
What the fuck is so important you need
to wake me up in the middle of the morning?
It's four o'clock in the afternoon, you stupid bitch.
- Did you checked in a nun, last night?
- No.
Beverly, you fucking cunt, I'll rip your fuckin' ass
when I get off the phone.
Leave her the fuck alone, Jesus.
It didn't checked her in last night.
I checked her in this morning at 2AM.
Butch,no is not the time to fuck with me. / i
Room seven.
I checked her in myself.
Don't let that fuckin' bitch leave.
We are on our way.
We got irresponsible heterosexuality . / i
We lesbianism, homosexuality
transsexuality / i
multi sexuality. All sexuality. / I
it's just sin.
We got lesbians .../ i
Is she dead?
No, but Beverly saw a nun
checkin'in to the motel last night.
I want to see this little heroine.
Kick Stand, you get over there.
Put it on back to me, alive
Let me leave now.
I'll have to kill you.
If you have not noticed,
I'm the one with the gun.
You do not have to go through this.
I know that God forgives sins.
- You just do ask for his forgiveness.
- What do you know about sin?
Are you even some real nun
or just some poor plain dressed-up?
I've taken my vows
at my church, in the name of the Lord.
You think you're so High mighty.
Who are you to preach?
What do you know about half the sins
you condemn?
- I too am a sinner.
- What are your sins, my precious sister?
- I am a fornicator
- Big fucking deal.
Half of you pinguins are being poached
By the preachers
That may be true.
My sins of the flesh.
are that of the fair sex.
Get back on the bed, bitch.
We sin today.
And ask forgiveness tomorrow.
Such is the beauty of devine.
- Who the hell are you?
- You thought, you thought, you thought wrong.
- You said I can be forgiven.
- Want to be forgiven? Ask for it. Come on..
Please ... please.
Please ...
I absolve you.
I absolve you..
of all your sins.
But there isno penance
for the hell bounds.
Where the fuck have you been all day?
At Tity Fucker?
They got this new girl over there.
Man, I'm telling you: She-is-it!
She is dressed up in nun
put down yur pants.
You've seen a nun
at the Tita club?
- How long has she been there, asshole?
- Papa said she just stopped there.
Get th efuck out of my face.
- What now?
- Butch is dead.
That nun worked over real good.
Chavo i sgoing to be pissed. / i
Sorry, boss. But I have bad news.
Butch is dead.
- Bloody messover there, man.
- Mutt, this is crazy.
Prospect said there's a nun
over the Tity Fucker right now.
Come on.
- Tity Fucker's.
- Hey, man, it's Halfbreed.
- I bet that you're looking for that nun.
- Tell Pope that Chavo is on his way.
Yes, I get that bitch cleaned up. / i
- Now what?
- Chavo is on his way.
Ann, Get that bitch out of the boot
and clean her up before he gets here.
What happens Halfbreed?
Not now, bitch.
Wake up!
And put your clothes back on.
my heart will not allow me to wait any longer. / i
I pray to the Lord. he will save me
and reunite us. / i
If not in this world
then in heaven above. / i
Take your stuffy hands off me.
Where's Angelina?
She is just playing at the Tity Fucker theater
with some old friends of yours.
Going mean is not going to make things right.
Kick Stand, tell Pope
to bring in a nun.
Hi again, killer.
I know you are not the man I'm looking for.
I do believe you have something to do.
- Pope, leave us alone for a while.
- to get dumped anyway.
I'll also give.
Put the gun down, nuts and small.
Who the hell are you?
Fucking bitch!
Who the hell are you?
No, no, no, calm down.
Yes, yes.
Do not touch anything. It's okay.
Come, go.
Are you okay?
- I will.
- No, no, no ...
No, no.
No! No, no, no.
No. I'll take care of it myself.
Father ...
are you ready to take on this new mission
in the name of our Lord?