Of Unknown Origin (1983) Movie Script
Turning to our home scene,
here in New York,
the dollar moved in a range
of only 10 to 20 points...
The mayor was dumb,
and the council stood
as if they were changed
into blocks of wood...
I just want to see
what's under there.
No, no, no, no.
I just want to look.
Pete might come in.
Peter'll learn a thing or two.
He's too young to learn.
I have to dry my hair.
I have to dry my fingernails.
Give me this towel.
Mm, a hell of a time
for a vacation.
A hell of a time.
A hell of a time is right.
I mean, your dad
snaps his fingers,
and, look...you jump
like a jack-in-the-box.
He calls on one day, the next
day you're off to Vermont.
Well, it's the only time
he can get away...
and he likes it there...
and I like it there.
Mm.
Oh... Mm.
Hey, hey, hey! Who's been
shelling the kitchen, huh?
What's going on in here?
Maneuvers, pal?
No. I'm looking
for the prize.
The prize is in
the bottom of the box, see?
Then can I
take it with me?
It's not the prize. It's
the flakes all over the joint.
Hurry up, honey!
Yeah, all right. Let's go.
Your mother's
going to yell at us.
Come on.
No fair.
Hey, Pete.
You're breaking my heart.
Hang on a minute.
Here, here it is.
What have we got here?
Yeah, it's a double
over-and-under space flyer,
upside-down flotsam.
How about a kiss
for your old dad, huh?
I love you, Dad.
I love you too.
Turning now to traffic,
we have a few problems
this morning...
Peter, how about the carpet?
How about that, huh?
Hey, honey, it's not
the Golden Fleece, you know.
...New Jersey turnpike
coming into town.
As well, we can
expect more trouble...
Okay.
You know, you could
take the weekend.
Listen, we sang this song
already, didn't we?
Okay, I won't
press it.
Don't sit around here
driving yourself crazy.
Crazy? Let me tell you
about crazy.
If Eliot gives me this,
it can mean maybe
a senior vice-presidency,
maybe next year
a seat on the board,
not to mention
another $25,000 per annum,
which means a lot of things,
like the mortgage on this dump.
Daddy offered us
the mortgage.
"Daddy offered.
Daddy offered."
Listen, your daddy's
a very sweet man,
but he didn't
pay for this place.
He didn't
pick it out, either.
We found it, paid for it.
We renovated it ourselves,
and we pay off
the mortgage ourselves, right?
Okay.
Besides which...
if I get this,
maybe I'll buy you
your own damn ski resort.
What do you
think of that?
Well, I think
you'll get it.
I better get it,
because if I don't get it,
next month the world
will see us
pitching pennies
in Guatemala.
Well...
It'd be fun with you
in Guatemala.
Peter, honey, be careful.
Nyao!
Beep, beep, beep!
So...
I'll... I'll call you
tonight, huh?
Okay. Call me before midnight.
I'll turn into a pumpkin.
A beautiful pumpkin.
Oh, you're biased.
You're right.
All right, champ.
Keep it under 70.
Take care of your mom.
Okay, Daddy.
Have fun.
Mm, I will.
Bye, now.
Bye.
A little Mozart
in the morning, Betty?
Good morning,
Mr. Hughes.
You know the number?
Hi, Karen.
Good morning, Mr. Hughes.
Pyramid Industries.
It's too early
for word association, James.
I'm dying.
You take a shot for that?
I'll bite. Pyramid Industries
is Arab money in white face,
and they're trying
to cop a piece
of this country's grain belt
through an Illinois front.
What's it to you?
Riverton's given Pyramid to me.
I sent Janis to your office
to pick up the files on it.
Is that all right?
Pyramid Industries
was Capstan International.
Yeah, here's
the rest of it, okay?
Thanks.
Morning.
Morning.
Why so cheerful?
I ran into James Hall
on my way in.
I wouldn't let that guy
walk behind me
unless I had
a rear-view mirror.
Why did Riverton give him
that Pyramid Industries merger?
That was mine.
Listen, don't sweat it. Rumor is
Riverton's going to give
that reorganization assignment
to somebody today,
and all bets
are in your favor.
All this intrigue.
This isn't a trust company.
it's the court of Louis XIV.
You were having
a lot of fun
with Pyramid Industries,
weren't you?
Yeah, I was,
and you know what?
Mergers like Pyramid
are my strong suit.
I don't know a thing about
reorganizing bank branches.
But if Eliot
gives you this...
Yeah, I know, I know.
The sky's the limit.
It's 9:00.
Right. Okay. How do you stay
ahead of everything, huh?
Are you kidding?
I've seen what happens
when I don't stay
two paces ahead of you.
Pretty blouse.
Thanks.
You've got a thread
hanging there.
Only you
would notice.
Details, darling, details.
Is that everything
prepared for now?
That's everything
we have so far.
Thank you.
Know how I would go about
revamping the branches?
How?
Mortar fire followed
by a flamethrower.
Excellent.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Hello, Eliot.
It's a little
restless in there.
I wanted to speak to you
before we got started.
Thursday night.
I want you to keep it open.
Sure.
Just a dinner party
for the L.A. branch managers,
nothing elaborate.
Besides, it's not you
I want to see.
It's your pretty wife,
who I haven't seen in ages.
Well, Meg's with her dad
in Vermont, Eliot,
but let us not
stand on ceremony
by me asking why
in the name of Job
did you pitch that Pyramid
thing to James Hall?
Man, I was flying
with that grain deal.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
Look, I need
a hands-on guy, Bart,
who's right to handle
the reorganization
of all the branch offices
of this trust company,
somebody with new ideas,
not old ones with a face lift.
Well, this is the topic
of the day around here.
Well, the topic is over.
I need a package
for the board of directors
meeting in two weeks.
In two weeks?
Can you do it?
I'll have to shift
some things.
Which is why
I gave Pyramid to Hall.
And Lorrie can handle
whatever else you've got.
I'll give it a shot.
It's yours, kiddo.
Because you know
what's riding on it.
Shit!
Oh, man, I don't need this.
I really don't need this.
I appreciate this, Clete.
I couldn't get my regular
plumber for another 10 days.
Should've called me
in the first place.
Yeah, but everybody
calls you, relies on you.
Got your own building
next door.
Yeah, well... Look at this.
It's what I told you, right?
See this, here? Smell it.
That's dishwashing stuff.
I told you that before.
Then it's not the sink?
It ain't the sink. It's
the dishwasher, like I said.
My wife just had this thing
overhauled a month ago.
Don't worry about nothing,
because it's not the motor.
Here, I got it. I got
the problem. Look at this.
Look at this over here.
You see that?
That's what you paid
for your drain hose.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, look...
Ready for that?
What could cause that?
What causes that is extreme heat
from the machine over here.
Right.
And the casing...
Just bang?
Bang, like that!
General wear and tear too.
You didn't see
any mice, did you?
Mice? No, I got no mice here.
Yeah, well, if you had,
then we'd see them,
because it'd take an army
of mice to do that.
Maybe it's a rat.
A rat?
No, there's no rat, no mice.
There's no rat in this house.
There's no rat
in this house?
There's no rat
in this house, okay.
What are you trying to say?
I need an exterminator? What?
Exterminator? You kidding?
That's for little old ladies
and people who don't want
to get their hands dirty.
You have any problem with that?
Getting your hands dirty?
I got no problem
getting my hands dirty.
I renovated this house
from the bottom up.
Jeez. Very nice, very nice.
It'd be horrible
if an exterminator came in
and unrenovated it
from the bottom up, eh?
Teared out your cabinetry
over here, took this out.
Maybe got behind the wall.
That's what they do, man.
No. Wait a minute.
Nobody's tearing out nothing.
You mind, by the way?
What? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
I tell you, you did
beautiful work over here.
Yeah, you got
any other ideas?
Well, you got
any traps?
I got traps left over from
when I rebuilt the basement.
Oh, yeah? Well,
you should put them out.
A rat could eat
through this?
You kidding me, man?
You ever see a rat's teeth?
A rat could eat
through electrical wiring.
Okay, I'll put down some traps.
But you know what
the trouble with traps is?
If you got yourself
an intelligent rat,
he's going to come over,
snatch the food out of the trap,
eat it, and run around here,
creating general havoc.
I should think
he'd be happier in the Bronx.
The Bronx, huh?
I tell you,
a rat could be happy anywhere.
Let me ask you something.
Is this real tile?
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
I'm glad you like it.
This is beautiful. Beautiful!
Good morning.
Good morning, Eliot.
Good morning,
Mr. Riverton.
Good morning.
Good morning, Dan.
Good morning, Eliot.
Back in the office, Junior.
Wait a minute.
Come on, now.
Come over here.
Hi, honey.
So did you get it?
Yay! I knew you would.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, well, the bad news is,
he only gave me two weeks
for the whole package.
What?
Anyone!
Peter, could you calm down!
Hey, take it easy!
Two weeks?
I think he's putting me
under the gun on purpose.
No...
I know, but Hall and his cronies
are waiting for me
to fall on my ass.
So they're Ivy League.
That doesn't guarantee
everything in life.
Eliot worked his way up,
just like you.
Yes, I know, but...
it's a tough package,
and working harder doesn't
guarantee anything either, babe.
Bart, you'll pull it off.
I know you will.
Quit fooling around!
Listen, Peter's giving daddy
a cardiac arrest.
I'll call you later.
I love you.
I love you too.
I wish daddy was here.
He got it!
Los Angeles branch.
What? Speak the King's English.
What are you saying?
The review, the meeting.
Right.
You all right?
You look tired.
Oh, it's not a long story,
but a boring one.
So what's this dork's
name again?
Thompson, Los Angeles.
Thompson, right. Thompson.
Anything interesting
there, Clete?
Hey, any luck with
the traps, Mr. Hughes?
I'll soon find out.
Rats, my butt.
Good Lord.
What's this?
See that?
Super rat did that.
Oh, you going to nail him
with this, huh?
Who gave you this?
Your grandma?
These are antiquated
traps, man.
You got to get
some proper traps.
There's got to be
some better way.
There's only five ways...
you trap them,
you poison them,
you knock them on the head,
you gas them,
or you shoot them.
But you got
to remember one thing:
A rat is a survivor.
The best there is.
You know where
I learned that?
Where?
In the army.
Were you in the army?
No.
No? I was.
Anawetok Island.
You never heard of that?
No.
It's the atomic test site, man.
I was there. The huge blast.
A couple of seconds,
everything was dead.
I'm talking insects,
reptiles,
frigging amoeba,
plant life.
They all croaked...
except for the rats.
They survived, and
they multiplied tenfold,
so maybe you should get rid
of grandma's souvenir, huh?
Come here. See that little dog
with that lady?
That's Mrs. Dinovi,
apartment 3-0-5.
Look at those legs, huh?
Best legs in the building.
She cut herself
shaving again.
You know
what's the matter with you?
You don't realize that
maybe you're spending
20% of your time
thinking about him,
but he's spending
100% of his time
figuring out ways
of how to outsmart you.
Because he's a rat.
He's got nothing better to do.
Do you want a pear?
No.
May, tell Lorrie
I'll need the rest
of the demographics
for Los Angeles,
and I'm taking
an early lunch, okay?
Certainly, Mr. Hughes.
Oh, no.
Oh, man!
Hi, guys.
Got any idea
where I should put this trap?
Huh?
What? Okay.
Watch and weep,
you furry fucker.
Your tie.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm expecting him,
but he hasn't come back
from lunch yet.
Just a sec.
It's your wife.
I'll call her later.
Sorry. Just to remind you
you have Eliot's dinner tonight
with the L.A.
bank manager at 8:00.
Mr. Thompson.
Mr. Thompson.
And Eliot wants you
to be there too.
I know, Bart.
You told me yesterday.
And listen,
don't forget to call Meg.
Right.
This is Seattle Revamping
Procedure, '61 and '76.
Never ends, does it?
Thank you.
Lost your olive, Bart?
Excellent.
Drink up. You really
picked yourself a prize.
So...
What are your plans?
What are you going to do, Bart?
I'm going to bring in
the Orientals.
That's how
I'm going to start.
Bring in the Orientals.
They're great profit people.
Know what I mean?
He's Eliot's wastebasket
and he gets all the shit jobs.
Could I have
a scotch, please?
You'd sell your kids
for the break he just got.
I don't need an incentive
for that, just an offer.
I'll have a scotch,
too, please.
The point is that Bart,
in his generosity,
would like me to think
that he lets me win at tennis.
Right, sport?
Bart?
Bart.
Oh. I'm sorry, Eliot.
A little distracted,
are we?
Just picking through
the bones, Eliot.
Picking through
the bones.
Enjoying your stay
in New York?
Oh, I'm always happy to be here.
You did really good work
with the Pyramid people
on that grain deal.
Did you know
that over one-fifth
of all the grain on this planet
is destroyed by rats?
And that's more than drought,
flood, or even insects destroys.
Did you know that?
No, I didn't.
That's over five billion
pounds of food alone
in this country.
Can you imagine how many
mouths that would feed,
not to mention
the possible fiscal loss
it must mean
to a company like this?
No. I can't.
Yes, it's extraordinary.
In the 14th century, the rat
carried the bubonic plague flea
that killed one out of every
three from India to Iceland.
Yeah, it's true.
Can you believe that?
The most horrible
catastrophe in history.
Over one third
of the entire population
of the civilized world
destroyed by rats.
Not bombs, not guns,
but rats.
You take your average rat...
It can wriggle through a hole
no bigger than a quarter,
swim half a mile, and
tread water for three days.
They can eat through
lead and concrete
with teeth that are like chisels
that exert an unbelievable
24,000 pounds
per square inch per tooth.
Really?
Yeah.
They can survive
being flushed down a toilet,
enter a building
by the same route.
They can fall five stories, run
off unharmed,
and two rats, mind
you, two, just two,
will give you 20 million rats
in less than three years,
and now there are as many rats
on this planet as people.
In this country,
we kill them to get rid of them,
but in some countries,
like the Philippines,
they kill them
because they have to...
to eat them,
because that's all there is.
Stringy chicken.
Stringy chicken?
That's what they say it tastes
like, stringy chicken.
And in some country,
I don't know which one,
they serve it
as a delicacy,
like chocolate-covered bees...
or caviar.
Tch!
A filthy rat on fine china.
There's no accounting
for taste, is there?
In some places
in Asia and India,
they actually
venerate them.
They worship them.
Can you imagine that?
Priests set out
bowls of honey and milk
to pamper some animal
whose only contribution
is famine, sickness, and death.
Vermin.
It's incredible.
Incredible.
Oh, boy.
Excuse me.
This is the Bug Man.
We're out on a call right now.
Please leave a message.
Yes, this is Bart Hughes.
My number is 488-8990.
You were recommended to me
by a city councilman,
and I'd appreciate it
if you'd get back to me
as soon as possible.
Thank you.
When traps don't work,
you try getting an exterminator.
I called
10 exterminators.
They don't even bother
to call you back.
They're overbooked.
This city is an open sewer.
The rats are just
waiting to take over.
Interesting thing about rats,
they never stop chewing.
Got to grind those teeth down,
because they keep growing.
Yeah, I know.
That's a fact.
They can chew through
lead, concrete, anything.
I hope it isn't a female.
Why?
They're twice
as vicious.
Here we go...
poisons.
We've got two main kinds.
This one
thins the blood,
and this one
works with water.
What's the difference?
Hmm.
That'll turn him
into a walking hemorrhage.
Now, wait a minute.
I don't want him to bleed
all over my furniture.
How about the water torture?
Steer clear of him
for this one.
It'll give him
a powerful thirst.
He'll run for water.
Keep your toilets closed
and no water around.
He'll aim straight
for the sewer,
and drink until he bursts,
pop, like a balloon.
Really?
You watch out.
Steer clear of him.
You get in his way,
and he'll go right through you.
Keep it up.
Just keep it up.
I got friends in Jersey.
Oh, yeah. All right.
Yeah, all right. Okay.
All right. That's it!
You son of a bitch!
You're going to kill
somebody one day.
Fuck you!
Hey, Clete,
I've still got the rats.
Not only that, I go into
my bathroom at night,
and the thing comes
right out of the toilet at me.
You hear that? Right
out of the toilet at me.
I put enough poison down
all over my house
to kill the entire Lower
East Side of Manhattan,
and not one nibble,
not one nibble.
You hear that?
Come right out of the toilet?
Yeah.
Want to know why?
Why?
Rats like to go
for your private parts, man.
They like all the soft parts
of your body.
Your eyes, your blue eyes,
a rat'll go right
through your eyes,
and they'll eat
your brain, man.
The son of a...
They're smart.
They loves eyes and...
Oh, great.
I'll get contacts.
Look, rats may be smart,
but I could be smarter, right?
You come in here.
I'll talk to you.
We'll figure
something out together.
Did you read about
those rats in the subway?
No.
Between a 125th Street
and Grand Central,
there are freaking
armies of rats, man.
It was in
the Daily News today.
Six people got bit.
Six people?
Six people, man.
On the subway?
On the subway.
You're doing
something wrong.
It's obvious. I put
the traps in the same place.
The whole thing's a bust.
What kind of bait did you use?
Bait? I used the sharpest
Cheddar cheese I could find.
Lamb chops.
Lamb chops?
My dinner.
Well, that's stupid.
I'm sorry.
Should I use Barnaise?
Use raw strips of bacon.
And switch poisons.
He's probably used to
the poison you're using.
And don't forget
those rubber gloves.
Wait a minute.
What rubber gloves, Clete?
The rubber gloves
I told you about.
You didn't say a damned thing
about rubber gloves.
No, I definitely mentioned
the rubber gloves.
That's important.
Rats pick up on human smells,
and that's it, game over.
If you're not going to listen,
then what am I telling you for?
Fine, rubber gloves.
You check
the boiler room, yet?
I didn't even think of it.
I put a trap in the basement.
I haven't been
in the boiler room.
My guess is you'll find one
in the boiler room.
This is a copy.
I need the original.
He's probably
got it on him.
Keep your pants on.
He'll be here any minute.
I'll have it on your desk
this afternoon.
I can't do anything about
Pyramid without his signature.
Here he comes now.
It's only 9:10.
Bart, Hall's been bugging me
for your signature
on that Pyramid
power of attorney.
Claims he needs it right away.
Oh, really?
Quite an excitable boy,
isn't he?
Damn!
Good day so far, eh, Bart?
Can we all play?
You said nothing
about rubber gloves,
you baldheaded fart.
"Are your hands soft and nice?"
"Yes, my hand is soft and nice."
Bacon, bacon...
A-ha!
Got you!
Oh, no. Shit.
Jeez!
Into the house we go.
That's real groovy.
I bet that's how you did it.
Oh-ho.
So, it's a female.
Think he's
going to make it?
Always thought he could
handle pressure, you know?
Now we can see
what he's really made of.
Eliot. Hey, great game
last night, huh?
Mm?
Yeah, it was
a shut-out, wasn't it?
Yeah, I think so.
What do you guys
know about hockey?
Did you see the game?
No.
Well, I read
your preliminary memo.
A little unorthodox,
to say the least,
but interesting
if you can amplify on it.
Yes, sir. You see,
essentially what we're doing
is closing down bank branches
in retired minority areas,
and yet those people
are paying back loans
a lot faster than some
of the doctors and lawyers
we have lunch with, Eliot.
You son of a gun,
you're going to stir things up.
I like that. Give it to me
in black-and-white,
but I don't know
if you're going to survive
to see your own show.
Are you pacing yourself?
It's not as bad
as it looks.
I've got some things that...
that I'm having to deal with.
Something with Meg?
Never mind.
It's none of my business.
Just settle it.
I need all your attention.
I don't think I've got it.
I might have to put
someone in the wings.
James Hall?
I'm still
behind you, Bart.
Pacing, pacing. That's the
key.
And...
Settle whatever's
bothering you, kiddo.
Wait here,
and she'll be right out.
Boy, this Chicago stuff
is a mess. Heavy too.
Okay, I'll see you
tomorrow, right?
You were going to give me
the L.A. stuff to read.
Oh, Jeez!
I must be on Mars.
Let's go.
All right, come on in.
So you can proofread
this L.A. stuff tonight
and photostat it tomorrow
before the conference meeting?
No problem.
Great.
Oh, finally I get to see
this gorgeous home of yours.
I'm sorry,
it's not very clean.
The housekeeper's
out of town.
You know,
Janis was telling me
about this article
in Architectural Digest
about renovated brownstones.
I was thinking
maybe you'd be interested.
No. Uh, no.
The third floor's
still a mess.
It's very Edgar Allen Poe
up there.
That's where the cockroaches
have their birthday parties.
What a floor!
Gosh, this wood must have taken
you forever to strip down.
Yeah, I did all this
by hand, myself.
Not one machine
touched this floor.
It's gorgeous,
and so much room.
Beautiful things.
Your wife must be
very happy here.
I don't know. You should
talk to her about that.
Sometimes, I think she thinks
she's running second
to this place.
Bart, what's happening
with you?
She's...
My son...
Pete, he's the best.
You don't know him, do you?
No.
Oh...
He's a killer.
All is not easy.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to pry or anything.
What was that?
House sounds.
Come on. I'll walk you
to your cab.
Here you go.
Bart...
I'll see you
tomorrow.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty.
Come here.
Want a job, puddy tat?
That's right. Yes.
Huh? Huh? We're going
to put you to work.
Would you like that?
Where did you get
this sweet face, huh?
What have we got in here?
A saucer. Yes. Over here.
Would you like
some old ketchup to eat?
Would you like a lime, hmm?
No? Okay, how about a cucumber?
Or a banana?
What's in here?
Let's see what we've got
in here.
Did you know that I was
king of all the pretties?
Did you know that?
Sit up.
Oh, good.
Two-week-old oysters.
Want some of those?
Oh, you like those.
I used to have a puddie
just like you,
except my wife sneezes,
so I can't have one anymore.
You want some rope?
No, I don't need any rope.
This is top-of-the-line stuff.
I don't need the rope.
What other lights you got?
Got a couple of hammers.
Lights, No hammers.
Lights. I got a great light.
They use this in coal mines.
What is this?
It's great.
Leaves your hands free.
Do what you want.
How does it work?
Put the light on your head.
You have to have a hat.
You put this on your belt.
Here, you need scissors
to cut through stuff?
What's this here?
That's a pair of great gloves.
You're going to need those.
No, I don't need scissors.
Ah, here I have...
No, I don't need tennis balls.
I'll just take this.
You need a gas mask
or anything?
No! I just needthis!
Let's get this.
Okay, okay, okay.
I got it for you.
Now, listen...
You see,
the major dilemma here is...
is that this town
ain't big enough
for the both of us.
Now, I've been around.
I've been to college, man.
I've been there, see.
I've tried dope.
I've tried these things,
and I just want you to know
who you're dealing with.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Peter
Happy birthday to you
Mommy!
Mommy!
Oh!
Goddamn!
Come on.
You son of a bitch!
No, see...
Yeah, but... All right, you
don't understand.
This isn't some ordinary rat
I'm dealing with.
It killed the...
It killed my cat.
It killed my cat!
That's very kind of you.
Here, I'll put the house key
under the second step
in front of the main door.
When you come in,
there's a library to your left,
and the check will be
under the stereo cover
on top of the platter.
Thank you very much.
You okay?
Hi.
Hello.
Hi, honey.
Come home, baby.
I need you.
It's only a few more days.
Can't you live without me?
How's Peter?
He's fine.
He's right here.
He's dying to talk to you.
Hold on.
Peter, honey, it's your daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
Hiya, pal. You having fun
with grandma and granddad, huh?
Yeah.
Come on over, Daddy.
Peter?
Hello, Peter?
Darling, I'm home!
But you're not.
Exterminators.
Yeah, this is Hughes!
You came into my house today
and took my money,
and this thing is still here.
Hello? What?
Hold it! What money?
You son of a bitch! I wasted
an hour coming uptown
for your bullshit check!
No money, no job!
Liberace, huh?
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
That's funny.
Okay, I quit.
I quit for good.
In my bed, you mother!
In my bed!
You want a war,
I'll give you a war!
And don't tell me
I didn't hit you.
I hit you. I did.
I will show him
what a man can do
and what a man endures.
Bart?
Go away.
Bart...
What is it?
What's going on?
There was some guy...
Some exterminator's
trying to reach you.
He called you
all kinds of names.
Can I help you?
It's time
for you to go.
Just ain't enough hours
in the day, Betty.
Well, I wondered
when you'd get around to that.
That's all right.
I'm ready for you.
Ahhhh!
Motherfucker!
Thank you, Tom.
Don't let the staff
see you like this.
Eliot, I've got something
happening at home,
and I'm going there
right now to take care of it.
You'll get that report
when I'm finished with it.
It's a simple matter
of priorities with me,
and if you want to give it
to James Hall,
that's your choice.
If you want
to stick with me...
that's the long
and the short of it.
Don't let the staff
see you like this.
Well, yes, I understand, but...
No, could you just tell her
her husband called
and...and ask her
to call me back?
Yes, thank you.
Amazing.
I hope you fried your ass,
you tart.
Huh!
Uh, yeah, well, yeah.
Okay, where is it?
Did you move it or what?
No fair. No fair. No.
Ah!
Hi, honey. We're home.
Bart?
Bart?
I just don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
Anymore, I don't know.
Where have you been?
Little lamb, little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Everywhere that Mary went
Mary went, Mary went
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go
Mary had a little lamb
Operator, there must be
some mistake.
Could we try again, please?
Could you try one more time?
Thank you, operator.
I've been trying to reach Bart
all morning.
Something's the matter
with his phone.
Look, Eliot, if it's
about his Chicago file...
It is.
There's been a little change
in our timetable.
The board of directors meeting
is being postponed.
Chicago and Detroit
can't make it.
I'm pushing it back
two weeks.
I'm sure Bart can use
the extra time.
Oh, I'm sure he can.
Thanks, Eliot.
Bart?
Bart!
Bart!
Bart, can you hear me?
Bart?
Bart, are you there?
Can you hear me?
Listen to me, Bart.
Listen, everything
is going to be okay.
Eliot's given us
another two weeks!
Leave us alone!
Ha!
Ha!
No.
Go! Unh!
Come on down!
Come on down!
Come on! Come on!
Good!
Good! Good! Good!
Bart?
Honey, what are you wearing?
You're all wet!
Daddy! Daddy!
You're soaking wet.
Who is this?
I missed you, Daddy.
Oh, Jeez!
Let me rub your beard.
Rub my beard.
Go in. you'll catch a cold.
Who's my best pal?
I am!
That's right.
Missed you.
Oh, the luggage.
Fuck the luggage.
Oh, my God!
Bart, what happened here?
I had a party.
here in New York,
the dollar moved in a range
of only 10 to 20 points...
The mayor was dumb,
and the council stood
as if they were changed
into blocks of wood...
I just want to see
what's under there.
No, no, no, no.
I just want to look.
Pete might come in.
Peter'll learn a thing or two.
He's too young to learn.
I have to dry my hair.
I have to dry my fingernails.
Give me this towel.
Mm, a hell of a time
for a vacation.
A hell of a time.
A hell of a time is right.
I mean, your dad
snaps his fingers,
and, look...you jump
like a jack-in-the-box.
He calls on one day, the next
day you're off to Vermont.
Well, it's the only time
he can get away...
and he likes it there...
and I like it there.
Mm.
Oh... Mm.
Hey, hey, hey! Who's been
shelling the kitchen, huh?
What's going on in here?
Maneuvers, pal?
No. I'm looking
for the prize.
The prize is in
the bottom of the box, see?
Then can I
take it with me?
It's not the prize. It's
the flakes all over the joint.
Hurry up, honey!
Yeah, all right. Let's go.
Your mother's
going to yell at us.
Come on.
No fair.
Hey, Pete.
You're breaking my heart.
Hang on a minute.
Here, here it is.
What have we got here?
Yeah, it's a double
over-and-under space flyer,
upside-down flotsam.
How about a kiss
for your old dad, huh?
I love you, Dad.
I love you too.
Turning now to traffic,
we have a few problems
this morning...
Peter, how about the carpet?
How about that, huh?
Hey, honey, it's not
the Golden Fleece, you know.
...New Jersey turnpike
coming into town.
As well, we can
expect more trouble...
Okay.
You know, you could
take the weekend.
Listen, we sang this song
already, didn't we?
Okay, I won't
press it.
Don't sit around here
driving yourself crazy.
Crazy? Let me tell you
about crazy.
If Eliot gives me this,
it can mean maybe
a senior vice-presidency,
maybe next year
a seat on the board,
not to mention
another $25,000 per annum,
which means a lot of things,
like the mortgage on this dump.
Daddy offered us
the mortgage.
"Daddy offered.
Daddy offered."
Listen, your daddy's
a very sweet man,
but he didn't
pay for this place.
He didn't
pick it out, either.
We found it, paid for it.
We renovated it ourselves,
and we pay off
the mortgage ourselves, right?
Okay.
Besides which...
if I get this,
maybe I'll buy you
your own damn ski resort.
What do you
think of that?
Well, I think
you'll get it.
I better get it,
because if I don't get it,
next month the world
will see us
pitching pennies
in Guatemala.
Well...
It'd be fun with you
in Guatemala.
Peter, honey, be careful.
Nyao!
Beep, beep, beep!
So...
I'll... I'll call you
tonight, huh?
Okay. Call me before midnight.
I'll turn into a pumpkin.
A beautiful pumpkin.
Oh, you're biased.
You're right.
All right, champ.
Keep it under 70.
Take care of your mom.
Okay, Daddy.
Have fun.
Mm, I will.
Bye, now.
Bye.
A little Mozart
in the morning, Betty?
Good morning,
Mr. Hughes.
You know the number?
Hi, Karen.
Good morning, Mr. Hughes.
Pyramid Industries.
It's too early
for word association, James.
I'm dying.
You take a shot for that?
I'll bite. Pyramid Industries
is Arab money in white face,
and they're trying
to cop a piece
of this country's grain belt
through an Illinois front.
What's it to you?
Riverton's given Pyramid to me.
I sent Janis to your office
to pick up the files on it.
Is that all right?
Pyramid Industries
was Capstan International.
Yeah, here's
the rest of it, okay?
Thanks.
Morning.
Morning.
Why so cheerful?
I ran into James Hall
on my way in.
I wouldn't let that guy
walk behind me
unless I had
a rear-view mirror.
Why did Riverton give him
that Pyramid Industries merger?
That was mine.
Listen, don't sweat it. Rumor is
Riverton's going to give
that reorganization assignment
to somebody today,
and all bets
are in your favor.
All this intrigue.
This isn't a trust company.
it's the court of Louis XIV.
You were having
a lot of fun
with Pyramid Industries,
weren't you?
Yeah, I was,
and you know what?
Mergers like Pyramid
are my strong suit.
I don't know a thing about
reorganizing bank branches.
But if Eliot
gives you this...
Yeah, I know, I know.
The sky's the limit.
It's 9:00.
Right. Okay. How do you stay
ahead of everything, huh?
Are you kidding?
I've seen what happens
when I don't stay
two paces ahead of you.
Pretty blouse.
Thanks.
You've got a thread
hanging there.
Only you
would notice.
Details, darling, details.
Is that everything
prepared for now?
That's everything
we have so far.
Thank you.
Know how I would go about
revamping the branches?
How?
Mortar fire followed
by a flamethrower.
Excellent.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Hello, Eliot.
It's a little
restless in there.
I wanted to speak to you
before we got started.
Thursday night.
I want you to keep it open.
Sure.
Just a dinner party
for the L.A. branch managers,
nothing elaborate.
Besides, it's not you
I want to see.
It's your pretty wife,
who I haven't seen in ages.
Well, Meg's with her dad
in Vermont, Eliot,
but let us not
stand on ceremony
by me asking why
in the name of Job
did you pitch that Pyramid
thing to James Hall?
Man, I was flying
with that grain deal.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
Look, I need
a hands-on guy, Bart,
who's right to handle
the reorganization
of all the branch offices
of this trust company,
somebody with new ideas,
not old ones with a face lift.
Well, this is the topic
of the day around here.
Well, the topic is over.
I need a package
for the board of directors
meeting in two weeks.
In two weeks?
Can you do it?
I'll have to shift
some things.
Which is why
I gave Pyramid to Hall.
And Lorrie can handle
whatever else you've got.
I'll give it a shot.
It's yours, kiddo.
Because you know
what's riding on it.
Shit!
Oh, man, I don't need this.
I really don't need this.
I appreciate this, Clete.
I couldn't get my regular
plumber for another 10 days.
Should've called me
in the first place.
Yeah, but everybody
calls you, relies on you.
Got your own building
next door.
Yeah, well... Look at this.
It's what I told you, right?
See this, here? Smell it.
That's dishwashing stuff.
I told you that before.
Then it's not the sink?
It ain't the sink. It's
the dishwasher, like I said.
My wife just had this thing
overhauled a month ago.
Don't worry about nothing,
because it's not the motor.
Here, I got it. I got
the problem. Look at this.
Look at this over here.
You see that?
That's what you paid
for your drain hose.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, look...
Ready for that?
What could cause that?
What causes that is extreme heat
from the machine over here.
Right.
And the casing...
Just bang?
Bang, like that!
General wear and tear too.
You didn't see
any mice, did you?
Mice? No, I got no mice here.
Yeah, well, if you had,
then we'd see them,
because it'd take an army
of mice to do that.
Maybe it's a rat.
A rat?
No, there's no rat, no mice.
There's no rat in this house.
There's no rat
in this house?
There's no rat
in this house, okay.
What are you trying to say?
I need an exterminator? What?
Exterminator? You kidding?
That's for little old ladies
and people who don't want
to get their hands dirty.
You have any problem with that?
Getting your hands dirty?
I got no problem
getting my hands dirty.
I renovated this house
from the bottom up.
Jeez. Very nice, very nice.
It'd be horrible
if an exterminator came in
and unrenovated it
from the bottom up, eh?
Teared out your cabinetry
over here, took this out.
Maybe got behind the wall.
That's what they do, man.
No. Wait a minute.
Nobody's tearing out nothing.
You mind, by the way?
What? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
I tell you, you did
beautiful work over here.
Yeah, you got
any other ideas?
Well, you got
any traps?
I got traps left over from
when I rebuilt the basement.
Oh, yeah? Well,
you should put them out.
A rat could eat
through this?
You kidding me, man?
You ever see a rat's teeth?
A rat could eat
through electrical wiring.
Okay, I'll put down some traps.
But you know what
the trouble with traps is?
If you got yourself
an intelligent rat,
he's going to come over,
snatch the food out of the trap,
eat it, and run around here,
creating general havoc.
I should think
he'd be happier in the Bronx.
The Bronx, huh?
I tell you,
a rat could be happy anywhere.
Let me ask you something.
Is this real tile?
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
I'm glad you like it.
This is beautiful. Beautiful!
Good morning.
Good morning, Eliot.
Good morning,
Mr. Riverton.
Good morning.
Good morning, Dan.
Good morning, Eliot.
Back in the office, Junior.
Wait a minute.
Come on, now.
Come over here.
Hi, honey.
So did you get it?
Yay! I knew you would.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, well, the bad news is,
he only gave me two weeks
for the whole package.
What?
Anyone!
Peter, could you calm down!
Hey, take it easy!
Two weeks?
I think he's putting me
under the gun on purpose.
No...
I know, but Hall and his cronies
are waiting for me
to fall on my ass.
So they're Ivy League.
That doesn't guarantee
everything in life.
Eliot worked his way up,
just like you.
Yes, I know, but...
it's a tough package,
and working harder doesn't
guarantee anything either, babe.
Bart, you'll pull it off.
I know you will.
Quit fooling around!
Listen, Peter's giving daddy
a cardiac arrest.
I'll call you later.
I love you.
I love you too.
I wish daddy was here.
He got it!
Los Angeles branch.
What? Speak the King's English.
What are you saying?
The review, the meeting.
Right.
You all right?
You look tired.
Oh, it's not a long story,
but a boring one.
So what's this dork's
name again?
Thompson, Los Angeles.
Thompson, right. Thompson.
Anything interesting
there, Clete?
Hey, any luck with
the traps, Mr. Hughes?
I'll soon find out.
Rats, my butt.
Good Lord.
What's this?
See that?
Super rat did that.
Oh, you going to nail him
with this, huh?
Who gave you this?
Your grandma?
These are antiquated
traps, man.
You got to get
some proper traps.
There's got to be
some better way.
There's only five ways...
you trap them,
you poison them,
you knock them on the head,
you gas them,
or you shoot them.
But you got
to remember one thing:
A rat is a survivor.
The best there is.
You know where
I learned that?
Where?
In the army.
Were you in the army?
No.
No? I was.
Anawetok Island.
You never heard of that?
No.
It's the atomic test site, man.
I was there. The huge blast.
A couple of seconds,
everything was dead.
I'm talking insects,
reptiles,
frigging amoeba,
plant life.
They all croaked...
except for the rats.
They survived, and
they multiplied tenfold,
so maybe you should get rid
of grandma's souvenir, huh?
Come here. See that little dog
with that lady?
That's Mrs. Dinovi,
apartment 3-0-5.
Look at those legs, huh?
Best legs in the building.
She cut herself
shaving again.
You know
what's the matter with you?
You don't realize that
maybe you're spending
20% of your time
thinking about him,
but he's spending
100% of his time
figuring out ways
of how to outsmart you.
Because he's a rat.
He's got nothing better to do.
Do you want a pear?
No.
May, tell Lorrie
I'll need the rest
of the demographics
for Los Angeles,
and I'm taking
an early lunch, okay?
Certainly, Mr. Hughes.
Oh, no.
Oh, man!
Hi, guys.
Got any idea
where I should put this trap?
Huh?
What? Okay.
Watch and weep,
you furry fucker.
Your tie.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm expecting him,
but he hasn't come back
from lunch yet.
Just a sec.
It's your wife.
I'll call her later.
Sorry. Just to remind you
you have Eliot's dinner tonight
with the L.A.
bank manager at 8:00.
Mr. Thompson.
Mr. Thompson.
And Eliot wants you
to be there too.
I know, Bart.
You told me yesterday.
And listen,
don't forget to call Meg.
Right.
This is Seattle Revamping
Procedure, '61 and '76.
Never ends, does it?
Thank you.
Lost your olive, Bart?
Excellent.
Drink up. You really
picked yourself a prize.
So...
What are your plans?
What are you going to do, Bart?
I'm going to bring in
the Orientals.
That's how
I'm going to start.
Bring in the Orientals.
They're great profit people.
Know what I mean?
He's Eliot's wastebasket
and he gets all the shit jobs.
Could I have
a scotch, please?
You'd sell your kids
for the break he just got.
I don't need an incentive
for that, just an offer.
I'll have a scotch,
too, please.
The point is that Bart,
in his generosity,
would like me to think
that he lets me win at tennis.
Right, sport?
Bart?
Bart.
Oh. I'm sorry, Eliot.
A little distracted,
are we?
Just picking through
the bones, Eliot.
Picking through
the bones.
Enjoying your stay
in New York?
Oh, I'm always happy to be here.
You did really good work
with the Pyramid people
on that grain deal.
Did you know
that over one-fifth
of all the grain on this planet
is destroyed by rats?
And that's more than drought,
flood, or even insects destroys.
Did you know that?
No, I didn't.
That's over five billion
pounds of food alone
in this country.
Can you imagine how many
mouths that would feed,
not to mention
the possible fiscal loss
it must mean
to a company like this?
No. I can't.
Yes, it's extraordinary.
In the 14th century, the rat
carried the bubonic plague flea
that killed one out of every
three from India to Iceland.
Yeah, it's true.
Can you believe that?
The most horrible
catastrophe in history.
Over one third
of the entire population
of the civilized world
destroyed by rats.
Not bombs, not guns,
but rats.
You take your average rat...
It can wriggle through a hole
no bigger than a quarter,
swim half a mile, and
tread water for three days.
They can eat through
lead and concrete
with teeth that are like chisels
that exert an unbelievable
24,000 pounds
per square inch per tooth.
Really?
Yeah.
They can survive
being flushed down a toilet,
enter a building
by the same route.
They can fall five stories, run
off unharmed,
and two rats, mind
you, two, just two,
will give you 20 million rats
in less than three years,
and now there are as many rats
on this planet as people.
In this country,
we kill them to get rid of them,
but in some countries,
like the Philippines,
they kill them
because they have to...
to eat them,
because that's all there is.
Stringy chicken.
Stringy chicken?
That's what they say it tastes
like, stringy chicken.
And in some country,
I don't know which one,
they serve it
as a delicacy,
like chocolate-covered bees...
or caviar.
Tch!
A filthy rat on fine china.
There's no accounting
for taste, is there?
In some places
in Asia and India,
they actually
venerate them.
They worship them.
Can you imagine that?
Priests set out
bowls of honey and milk
to pamper some animal
whose only contribution
is famine, sickness, and death.
Vermin.
It's incredible.
Incredible.
Oh, boy.
Excuse me.
This is the Bug Man.
We're out on a call right now.
Please leave a message.
Yes, this is Bart Hughes.
My number is 488-8990.
You were recommended to me
by a city councilman,
and I'd appreciate it
if you'd get back to me
as soon as possible.
Thank you.
When traps don't work,
you try getting an exterminator.
I called
10 exterminators.
They don't even bother
to call you back.
They're overbooked.
This city is an open sewer.
The rats are just
waiting to take over.
Interesting thing about rats,
they never stop chewing.
Got to grind those teeth down,
because they keep growing.
Yeah, I know.
That's a fact.
They can chew through
lead, concrete, anything.
I hope it isn't a female.
Why?
They're twice
as vicious.
Here we go...
poisons.
We've got two main kinds.
This one
thins the blood,
and this one
works with water.
What's the difference?
Hmm.
That'll turn him
into a walking hemorrhage.
Now, wait a minute.
I don't want him to bleed
all over my furniture.
How about the water torture?
Steer clear of him
for this one.
It'll give him
a powerful thirst.
He'll run for water.
Keep your toilets closed
and no water around.
He'll aim straight
for the sewer,
and drink until he bursts,
pop, like a balloon.
Really?
You watch out.
Steer clear of him.
You get in his way,
and he'll go right through you.
Keep it up.
Just keep it up.
I got friends in Jersey.
Oh, yeah. All right.
Yeah, all right. Okay.
All right. That's it!
You son of a bitch!
You're going to kill
somebody one day.
Fuck you!
Hey, Clete,
I've still got the rats.
Not only that, I go into
my bathroom at night,
and the thing comes
right out of the toilet at me.
You hear that? Right
out of the toilet at me.
I put enough poison down
all over my house
to kill the entire Lower
East Side of Manhattan,
and not one nibble,
not one nibble.
You hear that?
Come right out of the toilet?
Yeah.
Want to know why?
Why?
Rats like to go
for your private parts, man.
They like all the soft parts
of your body.
Your eyes, your blue eyes,
a rat'll go right
through your eyes,
and they'll eat
your brain, man.
The son of a...
They're smart.
They loves eyes and...
Oh, great.
I'll get contacts.
Look, rats may be smart,
but I could be smarter, right?
You come in here.
I'll talk to you.
We'll figure
something out together.
Did you read about
those rats in the subway?
No.
Between a 125th Street
and Grand Central,
there are freaking
armies of rats, man.
It was in
the Daily News today.
Six people got bit.
Six people?
Six people, man.
On the subway?
On the subway.
You're doing
something wrong.
It's obvious. I put
the traps in the same place.
The whole thing's a bust.
What kind of bait did you use?
Bait? I used the sharpest
Cheddar cheese I could find.
Lamb chops.
Lamb chops?
My dinner.
Well, that's stupid.
I'm sorry.
Should I use Barnaise?
Use raw strips of bacon.
And switch poisons.
He's probably used to
the poison you're using.
And don't forget
those rubber gloves.
Wait a minute.
What rubber gloves, Clete?
The rubber gloves
I told you about.
You didn't say a damned thing
about rubber gloves.
No, I definitely mentioned
the rubber gloves.
That's important.
Rats pick up on human smells,
and that's it, game over.
If you're not going to listen,
then what am I telling you for?
Fine, rubber gloves.
You check
the boiler room, yet?
I didn't even think of it.
I put a trap in the basement.
I haven't been
in the boiler room.
My guess is you'll find one
in the boiler room.
This is a copy.
I need the original.
He's probably
got it on him.
Keep your pants on.
He'll be here any minute.
I'll have it on your desk
this afternoon.
I can't do anything about
Pyramid without his signature.
Here he comes now.
It's only 9:10.
Bart, Hall's been bugging me
for your signature
on that Pyramid
power of attorney.
Claims he needs it right away.
Oh, really?
Quite an excitable boy,
isn't he?
Damn!
Good day so far, eh, Bart?
Can we all play?
You said nothing
about rubber gloves,
you baldheaded fart.
"Are your hands soft and nice?"
"Yes, my hand is soft and nice."
Bacon, bacon...
A-ha!
Got you!
Oh, no. Shit.
Jeez!
Into the house we go.
That's real groovy.
I bet that's how you did it.
Oh-ho.
So, it's a female.
Think he's
going to make it?
Always thought he could
handle pressure, you know?
Now we can see
what he's really made of.
Eliot. Hey, great game
last night, huh?
Mm?
Yeah, it was
a shut-out, wasn't it?
Yeah, I think so.
What do you guys
know about hockey?
Did you see the game?
No.
Well, I read
your preliminary memo.
A little unorthodox,
to say the least,
but interesting
if you can amplify on it.
Yes, sir. You see,
essentially what we're doing
is closing down bank branches
in retired minority areas,
and yet those people
are paying back loans
a lot faster than some
of the doctors and lawyers
we have lunch with, Eliot.
You son of a gun,
you're going to stir things up.
I like that. Give it to me
in black-and-white,
but I don't know
if you're going to survive
to see your own show.
Are you pacing yourself?
It's not as bad
as it looks.
I've got some things that...
that I'm having to deal with.
Something with Meg?
Never mind.
It's none of my business.
Just settle it.
I need all your attention.
I don't think I've got it.
I might have to put
someone in the wings.
James Hall?
I'm still
behind you, Bart.
Pacing, pacing. That's the
key.
And...
Settle whatever's
bothering you, kiddo.
Wait here,
and she'll be right out.
Boy, this Chicago stuff
is a mess. Heavy too.
Okay, I'll see you
tomorrow, right?
You were going to give me
the L.A. stuff to read.
Oh, Jeez!
I must be on Mars.
Let's go.
All right, come on in.
So you can proofread
this L.A. stuff tonight
and photostat it tomorrow
before the conference meeting?
No problem.
Great.
Oh, finally I get to see
this gorgeous home of yours.
I'm sorry,
it's not very clean.
The housekeeper's
out of town.
You know,
Janis was telling me
about this article
in Architectural Digest
about renovated brownstones.
I was thinking
maybe you'd be interested.
No. Uh, no.
The third floor's
still a mess.
It's very Edgar Allen Poe
up there.
That's where the cockroaches
have their birthday parties.
What a floor!
Gosh, this wood must have taken
you forever to strip down.
Yeah, I did all this
by hand, myself.
Not one machine
touched this floor.
It's gorgeous,
and so much room.
Beautiful things.
Your wife must be
very happy here.
I don't know. You should
talk to her about that.
Sometimes, I think she thinks
she's running second
to this place.
Bart, what's happening
with you?
She's...
My son...
Pete, he's the best.
You don't know him, do you?
No.
Oh...
He's a killer.
All is not easy.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to pry or anything.
What was that?
House sounds.
Come on. I'll walk you
to your cab.
Here you go.
Bart...
I'll see you
tomorrow.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty.
Come here.
Want a job, puddy tat?
That's right. Yes.
Huh? Huh? We're going
to put you to work.
Would you like that?
Where did you get
this sweet face, huh?
What have we got in here?
A saucer. Yes. Over here.
Would you like
some old ketchup to eat?
Would you like a lime, hmm?
No? Okay, how about a cucumber?
Or a banana?
What's in here?
Let's see what we've got
in here.
Did you know that I was
king of all the pretties?
Did you know that?
Sit up.
Oh, good.
Two-week-old oysters.
Want some of those?
Oh, you like those.
I used to have a puddie
just like you,
except my wife sneezes,
so I can't have one anymore.
You want some rope?
No, I don't need any rope.
This is top-of-the-line stuff.
I don't need the rope.
What other lights you got?
Got a couple of hammers.
Lights, No hammers.
Lights. I got a great light.
They use this in coal mines.
What is this?
It's great.
Leaves your hands free.
Do what you want.
How does it work?
Put the light on your head.
You have to have a hat.
You put this on your belt.
Here, you need scissors
to cut through stuff?
What's this here?
That's a pair of great gloves.
You're going to need those.
No, I don't need scissors.
Ah, here I have...
No, I don't need tennis balls.
I'll just take this.
You need a gas mask
or anything?
No! I just needthis!
Let's get this.
Okay, okay, okay.
I got it for you.
Now, listen...
You see,
the major dilemma here is...
is that this town
ain't big enough
for the both of us.
Now, I've been around.
I've been to college, man.
I've been there, see.
I've tried dope.
I've tried these things,
and I just want you to know
who you're dealing with.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Peter
Happy birthday to you
Mommy!
Mommy!
Oh!
Goddamn!
Come on.
You son of a bitch!
No, see...
Yeah, but... All right, you
don't understand.
This isn't some ordinary rat
I'm dealing with.
It killed the...
It killed my cat.
It killed my cat!
That's very kind of you.
Here, I'll put the house key
under the second step
in front of the main door.
When you come in,
there's a library to your left,
and the check will be
under the stereo cover
on top of the platter.
Thank you very much.
You okay?
Hi.
Hello.
Hi, honey.
Come home, baby.
I need you.
It's only a few more days.
Can't you live without me?
How's Peter?
He's fine.
He's right here.
He's dying to talk to you.
Hold on.
Peter, honey, it's your daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
Hiya, pal. You having fun
with grandma and granddad, huh?
Yeah.
Come on over, Daddy.
Peter?
Hello, Peter?
Darling, I'm home!
But you're not.
Exterminators.
Yeah, this is Hughes!
You came into my house today
and took my money,
and this thing is still here.
Hello? What?
Hold it! What money?
You son of a bitch! I wasted
an hour coming uptown
for your bullshit check!
No money, no job!
Liberace, huh?
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.
That's funny.
Okay, I quit.
I quit for good.
In my bed, you mother!
In my bed!
You want a war,
I'll give you a war!
And don't tell me
I didn't hit you.
I hit you. I did.
I will show him
what a man can do
and what a man endures.
Bart?
Go away.
Bart...
What is it?
What's going on?
There was some guy...
Some exterminator's
trying to reach you.
He called you
all kinds of names.
Can I help you?
It's time
for you to go.
Just ain't enough hours
in the day, Betty.
Well, I wondered
when you'd get around to that.
That's all right.
I'm ready for you.
Ahhhh!
Motherfucker!
Thank you, Tom.
Don't let the staff
see you like this.
Eliot, I've got something
happening at home,
and I'm going there
right now to take care of it.
You'll get that report
when I'm finished with it.
It's a simple matter
of priorities with me,
and if you want to give it
to James Hall,
that's your choice.
If you want
to stick with me...
that's the long
and the short of it.
Don't let the staff
see you like this.
Well, yes, I understand, but...
No, could you just tell her
her husband called
and...and ask her
to call me back?
Yes, thank you.
Amazing.
I hope you fried your ass,
you tart.
Huh!
Uh, yeah, well, yeah.
Okay, where is it?
Did you move it or what?
No fair. No fair. No.
Ah!
Hi, honey. We're home.
Bart?
Bart?
I just don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
Anymore, I don't know.
Where have you been?
Little lamb, little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
Everywhere that Mary went
Mary went, Mary went
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go
Mary had a little lamb
Operator, there must be
some mistake.
Could we try again, please?
Could you try one more time?
Thank you, operator.
I've been trying to reach Bart
all morning.
Something's the matter
with his phone.
Look, Eliot, if it's
about his Chicago file...
It is.
There's been a little change
in our timetable.
The board of directors meeting
is being postponed.
Chicago and Detroit
can't make it.
I'm pushing it back
two weeks.
I'm sure Bart can use
the extra time.
Oh, I'm sure he can.
Thanks, Eliot.
Bart?
Bart!
Bart!
Bart, can you hear me?
Bart?
Bart, are you there?
Can you hear me?
Listen to me, Bart.
Listen, everything
is going to be okay.
Eliot's given us
another two weeks!
Leave us alone!
Ha!
Ha!
No.
Go! Unh!
Come on down!
Come on down!
Come on! Come on!
Good!
Good! Good! Good!
Bart?
Honey, what are you wearing?
You're all wet!
Daddy! Daddy!
You're soaking wet.
Who is this?
I missed you, Daddy.
Oh, Jeez!
Let me rub your beard.
Rub my beard.
Go in. you'll catch a cold.
Who's my best pal?
I am!
That's right.
Missed you.
Oh, the luggage.
Fuck the luggage.
Oh, my God!
Bart, what happened here?
I had a party.