Off The Menu (2018) Movie Script

Good morning, babe.
Yeah, gonna ramp things up.
Iron Man is in three months.
You look like
an eight-year-old boy,
going from hobby to hobby.
I wish you'd focus
your attention
on something else.
Like your career.
Joel, gross!
Where is the coffee?
Where is my coffee maker?
That's not good for you.
And you're way too jittery
when you're on it.
What? That's when
I don't have my coffee!
it clashes with the kitchen.
It's an esthetics thing.
Breakfast! I'm starving!
Did you study your spelling?
Come on, mom!
You're not getting any younger!
That's what abuelita says.
Yeah, well, abuelita is crazy.
There you go!
Ok, now try it.
See, my daughter might not know
how to spell,
but she sure has good taste.
Remember how you used to
not like sweet potatoes?
And kale? And beets?
Come on, mommy!
You like it, right?
You do like it.
I love it.
La comida es amor, chiquita.
What are you getting from
all this juicing and training?
I don't know. Purpose?
Food is fuel.
So is caffeine.
[tires screeching & crash]
We've got big things
cooking here at Tortilla Hut.
And whoever said
size doesn't matter,
obviously never tried our beefy
beany burrito.
Tortilla Hut,
where everything is
bigger and better.
Babe, did you see that?
Sorry, boss.
It's just that little guy
cracks me up.
I hate to say it,
but my kids eat there too.
I mean, where else can you get
five tacos for $0.99?
And that should be the point.
You want quality,
you need to pay for it.
ndale, a trabajar.
Where are we with the
crema de chile poblano?
We can't make
crema de chile poblano
with no chiles.
Chin, se me olvido!
Are you sure you don't need
an extra hand
in your chile field?
Don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.
If anyone asks,
I went to town for supplies,
-Turn it off, Gonzalo.
-[Javiera] Turn it off, I can
hear it!
Well, personally,
I think we should make
TH more hip,
appeal to the Millennials.
Yeah, no, I call it TH.
Do you like that?
Having phone sex
with my dad again?
You know, Mr. Flanagan,
your son actually
just walked in.
Yeah, no, here he is.
Hey, dad.
Aha, aha.
You know...
yes, speaking of what
I should be doing with my life,
I really should get back
to work,
because there's a new
product meeting.
They just pushed to 10 a.m.
Yeah, Aaron just told me.
Yeah, I can't wait to go.
Yeah, no, it's gonna be
the best part of my day.
Ok, love you, bye.
Thanks, Aaron.
Hey, buddy.
He'll be late
for the product meeting.
You know I only took this
assistant gig because I thought
he'd hardly be here and
I'd have a shot at a promotion.
I heard the family is
putting pressure on him,
but I'm sure he's
gonna continue to do
that bare minimum
that he does, so...
Yeah, but what if he starts
to actually...
you know, work?
-Give me your jacket, come on.
-Do it, come on.
-You're kidding me!
I'll bring it back.
What was that?
I wouldn't worry about that.
Good morning, everyone.
Oh! Look at who showed up.
Don't get too excited, sis.
I just didn't want to talk
to our father.
So, I'm sure everyone
has seen the headlines.
We have?
Oh, dad's not gonna like that!
No. We have to face the facts.
Tastes are evolving.
Our customers want
artisanal food
and authentic experience.
Sophistication has come to
Small Town, America.
And we need to evolve
right alongside.
So, that only means
one thing for Tortilla Hut:
menu diversity.
We have been coasting
for far too long,
we need to get out there
in the field,
and see what's cooking.
So Brian,
I need you to take
the East Coast.
-And Megan,
there's some great stuff
happening in Chicago
and in the Northwest.
And Joel,
I spoke to father about this,
and he wants you to handle
the Southwest.
No problemo.
Which means you will be
travelling to the Southwest
and handling all research
and development.
I want you slumming it.
In every hole in the wall,
every hidden gem,
sampling as much of the
regional food as it takes,
until we find
our next big product.
No way! That's like...
That's like, real work.
Send her!
Gina is on maternity leave
starting next week, so...
I'm training for a triathlon,
that's like having a baby,
except it's
actually good for you.
Stacey, why don't you let me
take over the territory?
I mean,
it's a very viable region,
and, "tambin,
yo hablo mucho de espaol."
Yeah, let him do it.
Let this guy...
I want you to handle this.
And I think that grandpop
would have wanted you
to get back to your roots.
What roots?
I'm from Laguna Niguel.
I'm eating clean right now.
I can't eat junk.
Well, that's good,
because I want you to focus
on New Mexican cuisine.
I can't each cheese!
I can't eat fats,
I can't even eat good fats.
I don't remember the last time
I had an avocado.
And Let's face it:
I hate Mexican food.
And that's not my fault,
because I have a Jewish stomach.
Which is odd,
because we're Irish.
Never said it made sense.
All right, any questions?
-Why aren't you in school?
-We had a half day, remember?
You know, I could help
if you would let me.
You can't help roast the chiles,
What's the big deal?
They're just chiles!
-Just chiles?
Maybe it's time you learn
about your legacy.
Your legacy.
A legacy is something special
that's in your family.
It's a part of you,
and not everyone has it.
-So it's only special to us?
-Oh, yeah.
This is our family secret.
-You can't tell anyone.
-I pinky swear.
Pinky swear? I'm trusting you.
All right.
So, it goes like this.
A long, long time ago,
made a bet.
With a very wise man.
His name was Fabian Garcia.
And he would become known
as the inventor of the
New Mexico green chile.
-[Javiera] But at the time,
Mr. Garcia was just
a penniless farmer.
He had no money to give.
-[Sophia] That's not right.
-[Javiera] But he had something
better, chiquita.
He had seeds.
These chile seeds
have been passed on
through the generations.
And one day,
they will pass on to you.
Is this why your cooking
is so good?
You totally ambushed me
back there!
All right, all right.
Just sit down.
It's time to get serious, Joel.
Look at me.
I am serious.
About not going to Arizona
or New Mexico?
Wherever you told me to go.
What do I look like?
I'm not a Southwestern guy.
And I'm busy! I've got work.
My law practice?
Occasional client who is
one of daddy's golfing buddies
-does not a lawyer make.
-It's only one of them.
What do you wanna do
with your life?
The lease on all your toys and
lifestyle is going to run out
if you don't make
a smart choice.
And you know of the terms
of the estate.
Why don't you just commit
to a year of Tortilla Hut?
What is stopping you?
You said that grandpa
was your hero.
Well he went to war, came back,
and started
a $500 million enterprise.
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
Let's be honest, sis.
It's just junk food.
It's the family business.
And in my book, that's not junk.
Oh, good! You already packed.
So, you got my text after all,
I mean...
What's going on?
I'm enjoying my coffee.
You know,
that's really not good for you.
Oh, I know, Joel.
And I'm done.
Done? What do you mean done?
You're coming with me
to New Mexico!
You're gonna have to do
this one on your own.
You know, not everything
revolves around you, Joel.
You know,
for the last two years,
we've done everything.
Everything that you've wanted.
We've gone on dates
with your friends,
and you've told me what to wear,
and what to drink...
-Because you asked!
-And now you're obsessed
with trying to be Iron Man.
-No, I'm trying to do Iron Man!
Have you ever, ever,
thought about what I wanted?
What do you want, Lauren?
I want...
someone who can make me laugh.
I never said I was
a freaking comedian.
You know what I mean.
I'm funny.
Ay, I'm not getting any younger!
I'll be right with you, ok?
Is it good? Yes?
There we go!
Always a sight for sore eyes.
doesn't the new sign look great?
Hey, did Javiera tell you
the new tour just sold out?
Well, that's very good.
Your daughter is becoming
quite the little rockstar.
Just like her old lady.
-Where is my little pinto bean?
-Oh, Lord.
Let him get run over by a truck.
Ok, maybe not. Maybe a tractor.
He could survive the truck,
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
Babe, it's me.
It went straight to voicemail.
In that way where
you have the choice
whether to take
the call or not.
Anyway, I was thinking about
what you were saying
about how you think everything
revolves around me.
But remember when
we went down to San Diego
for that frisbee
golf competition
and you left early
because your mom got sick
and went to the hospital
and I won that night?
And I never made it a big deal.
I was really disappointed,
but I didn't bring it up.
And we both know people can live
without their appendix!
Actually, that's probably
not a good example.
Listen, I want...
-The mailbox is full
and cannot accept
any messages at this time.
Good bye!
Javi, nobody makes chile sauce
like you have.
No one!
You know what?
This is just the beginning.
I mean,
with the success of the cafe,
we can look towards
a real restaurant in Santa Fe.
I've been there, done that.
Yeah, but that was Albuquerque.
You know?
I'm talking about
something big here, right?
We're building a brand!
I see a cooking show
and a whole line of products
starting with
your signature dish.
I'm still getting used
to the new sign.
Don't you think
it's a bit much?
Come on, you gotta shake
things up a little bit, baby!
I like things the way they are.
Passing through,
I'm wondering if there's a good
place to grab a bite to eat.
Sure, there's a Tortilla Hut
just down the road.
But if you're looking
for a real gem,
go down the road
about five miles
and make a right
at the first four-way stop.
-You can't miss it.
-Thank you so much.
Oh, Joel.
That's like discovering
the hamburger.
Green chile is practically
the state dish.
-What are you talking about,
It's freaking fantastic!
It's got green chile,
pinto beans, and chicken!
It's not even bad for you.
Beans give you fiber,
chicken is protein,
and green chile is a vegetable.
And how would we package it?
You're not thinking.
-Do you really think
our consumer base
is concerned with your
authenticity obsession?
-Hank, don't fill up on junk
The only people who order tacos
from a drive-through window
are stoners and big, fat...
I mean,
somewhat slightly obese people,
who I'm sure are
lovely people on the inside.
This is a lot harder
than it looks, ok?
It's not exactly
written on a sign
where to find the best food
in New Mexico.
Let me call you right back.
See, we've got a whole variety
of different types of peppers.
They come in all different
shapes, sizes, colors.
But this one, right here,
the New Mexico green chile,
that's what we're roasting
right here.
Isn't that smell amazing?
You're gonna see everything
that you could possibly imagine
from the chile family
in New Mexico.
But it's really the green chile
that is the star.
This is what has become
the local favorite.
Save your appetite
for Javiera's,
cooking up her signature dish!
All right, here we go.
We've got a real treat here,
I told you it was
worth the wait, right?
Hey, why don't you guys try
taking small bites,
really savour this food.
I'm tasting pork
and something else.
Apples. Oh my God, apples!
Perfect harmony of the sweet
and the savory.
Just like life.
And who knew garlic soup
actually tastes awesome?
You got avocado?
Perfect match.
S, s, los gringos,
los gringos llegaron.
I've never seen such fancy
watches and purses.
Let's hope they spend
some money in town.
-I'm coming over.
-Hello, young man!
Why aren't you with the group?
You look triste.
-I do?
Muy triste.
Oh, why?
Why are you so triste?
I can feel your energy.
My girlfriend
just broke up with me.
We were pretty serious.
-Oh, that's terrible!
Such a good looking young man,
And look, great physique.
And nice clothes.
You know what,
nice clothes means nice job.
Pero triste.
Why did she leave you?
Well, she...
claimed I didn't make her laugh.
It's crazy, right?
I mean, to leave someone,
for this ridiculous reason
that's untrue?
Come. Let's have some lunch.
Forget your troubles
with some good food.
-That's great.
-Come on!
-rale, rale. See you later.
I'm sorry,
are you with the tour?
Gonzalo, Gonzalo,
have pity on him.
His fiancee... lo abandon.
Sorry, bro.
What do you want me to do?
The orders are even,
and you know Javiera.
What's the matter?
I just lost my appetite.
What's wrong?
Is there anything wrong?
Hey, pal!
This is a private party.
If he stays, we go.
What am I hearing?
What's going on here?
They don't seem
to like you very much.
I don't...
What's going on?
No one is eating.
I never make the wrong amount.
Yeah, well,
these things happen every day.
-For some, but not for me.
-Listen, lady.
I'm just a guy who needs a meal.
Maybe we could work
something out?
You are a really funny guy,
you know that?
Everyone satisfied?
This bozo followed us in here,
and now he's trying to eat all
of this amazing food for free.
Sorry, sport. Who are you?
Don't worry about it,
Mr. Mustache.
What do you mean?
He's not with the tour?
And stay out!
Sorry about your lady friend,
Eat your feelings.
So, I just tried
something pretty terrific.
Acting like a human being?
[Joel laughing]
No! An empanada.
I thought you couldn't get
on that tour.
I have my ways.
Listen, here's the thing.
There's this woman,
Javiera Torres.
And I think she may be
the real deal.
Sounds like people
come from all around
to try this signature
dish of hers.
I smell marketing campaign.
Tell me she's 80 years old,
full of wrinkles and character.
Sort of.
No, coffee. Is it coffee?
Do you think
we can market her dish?
Listen, don't kill me,
but I haven't exactly
tried it yet.
How did you let
that jerk get in?
Look at the lengths people
are going to eat your food.
It's starting, baby!
Oh, Javiera,
would you stay a minute?
Your dish is delicious.
I could eat it all the time.
You make a terrific
frozen dinner.
Could you share with us
some of your culinary secrets?
How do you make love?
From behind.
It's sort of asking how I cook.
It's personal.
There are food blogs
dedicated to this woman.
Joel, you have to go back!
No, I'm done.
I've done my civic duty.
Ok, listen.
I have a really
big board meeting
coming up in the next few weeks,
and I need something positive
to report.
I really need your help here,
And remember
what we talked about
regarding your inheritance.
[police sirens]
[phone rings]
Oh hey, buddy! How's New Mexico?
Oh, hey Aaron.
Question for you.
Why did a highway patrolman
just inform me that my license
has been suspended,
and as a result,
my car is being towed away?
Wow! That is... that's terrible.
You know, I was sure...
you know, that I sent in
that renewal paperwork.
There is no doubt about it.
Now I have to wait
to get in front of the DA
to talk about
a temporary permit.
This is all on you, pal.
It's because of you,
I insulted a cop,
and the tow truck driver,
although he deserved it.
And now I can't even get
a ride into town!
Gone fishin'?
With an apostrophe?
Not fishing, I-N-G...
-Listen, would you take
a look at these for me?
Contracts? How romantic!
I know, baby.
But it's good
to have things in writing.
You're gonna miss your tour bus.
Do I look like a tourist to you?
You sure don't look
like you belong here.
-Amen, sister.
Sophia, haven't I told you
not to talk to strangers?
I'm really not that strange.
He's funny.
Thanks, Junior!
Is this man bothering you,
My name is Sophia.
And no, he's funny.
It's not enough for you
to ruin my tour,
now you have to come
and harass the locals too?
-Hey, I was invited.
-By who?
Well, that doesn't count.
It's my tour and I want you out
of Villanueva.
You always have your man
speak for you?
This isn't just about
Kevin's tour,
but my cafe.
My cooking is my life,
and I won't let anyone
make a mockery of it.
Hey, don't look at me!
Displaced anger, huh pal?
Something like that.
Gracias, Diego.
I'll have what he had,
minus the flavor.
You know sugar causes cancer,
I knew it!
I missed everything.
Does your face hurt much?
Do you think you got
permanent brain damage?
Like, one day, when you're 80,
you'll wake up and not even know
who you are?
Honestly, kid,
I genuinely wish
that day were today.
Listen, do you know
any hotels around here?
Maybe like a Four Seasons
or something?
Oh, Ermenda rents rooms out.
She owns a gift shop
right across the street,
with like, the chiles.
Sophia, vmonos!
I'm really not such
a bad guy here.
whoever you are, I don't know
where you come from,
but around here, everybody
looks out for each other.
So, if I were you, I'd watch it.
Mrs. Javiera?
I couldn't help but notice
that you were handling
some legal documents
from your friend.
-You're a lawyer?
-Yeah, I'm a lawyer.
I would get a professional look
at those if I were you.
You wouldn't wanna do anything
that you would regret.
Like turning around
and talking to you?
Good one, momma!
What a cute town. It's great.
I've been trying you for hours.
Don't start with me, sis.
It's been the worst week.
Yeah, I heard about Lauren.
Are you ok?
I haven't had time
to process it.
And I'm sure Aaron told you,
my good friend,
that my car has been impounded,
and I have to wait
to get in front of the DA,
but he apparently
has gone fishi'n!
I can hear you grin, sis.
Being stuck in a town
with one of the best
regional chefs in New Mexico?
Now, why would I want that?
Just like old times.
My sister mocking me.
I'm staring at a photo of the
marketing campaign we did.
You were such a bad actor!
That's because you made me
eat the product!
Hi! Hold on, just a second.
Yeah, but we had fun,
didn't we?
No, as I recall, you loved it,
because you were always
daddy's little company girl.
Oh, come on!
It's charming.
Didn't realize I was renting
a room from the Vatican.
You sure I can't pay you online?
I still use Windows 97.
Are there any restaurants open?
I'm starving.
We only have one restaurant,
And she's only open for lunch.
Looks like you really burned
that bridge, huh?
You have to integrate yourself,
Maybe I'll go buy
some turquoise paint.
Gonna get my suitcase.
Hey! Watch it, jerk!
I didn't know it was you.
You make it a habit
of calling people jerks?
Well, you almost ran me over.
Listen, let's start over, huh?
Shall we?
I'm in a bit of a bind.
See, I am stuck here
until the DA comes back
-from his fishing trip.
-Yes, so I heard.
And I may starve to death.
How about a quid pro quo?
I will look over
your boyfriend's contracts,
-the guy with the mustache...
-Are you...?
And in exchange,
you give me a great meal.
How about that? Hey!
A district attorney's fee is
300 dollars an hour, at least!
I'd say that's a pretty good
Think about it!
[phone buzzing]
I just wanted
to check in on you.
I didn't get a chance to
explain those contracts
before I left.
- I'm fine. How's your eye?
It's still there.
Listen, if that asshole comes
I should go.
Sophia needs help
with her homework.
-Night, baby.
-Good night.
Hey! Flying to your man?
He's not my man.
All right,
he's sort of like my man.
You know, Kevin...
Kevin is a good guy.
He is fun, he's cute.
And we sort of
have the same goals.
Sort of is not good enough
for my daughter.
Mama, I am a single mother
living in Villanueva.
Population: 846.
848! Tina had babies, twins.
I stand corrected.
My point is,
sort of has become my...
I'm ok with that.
More importantly,
I trust Kevin.
-Sort of.
-Sort of.
Who are you cooking for?
Oh, please. That man is an ass.
Yes, I saw his ass.
And let me tell you
something about it:
-I approve.
-Take it, take it! Yeah!
What did I miss?
What did I miss?
Why don't you bring this
to your new best friend?
Ay! Sophia!
Wow, that's pretty good.
It probably has a lot of sugar
in it though, right?
It's actually all natural.
Mango, pear, ginger,
with a bit of carrot
to give it that unique zip.
-You want me to take it back?
-Oh, no, no, thank you.
It's pretty perfect, actually.
You can't get that back home.
-I'll tell you that.
-Where is that, Iceland?
No, actually.
I'm from Irvine, California.
Well, you probably can't
get this there, either.
Dinner or breakfast?
You know, I was...
really hoping
for the house special.
I only make that once a week,
that's only for family
and friends.
It's really good.
Excuse me.
-You like it?
-It's perfect.
You wanna know a secret?
I don't like Mexican food.
But this is good.
Are you sure it's Mexican food?
So, it's a fairly basic
partnership agreement.
You've agreed to partner
on a product line
and a potential new
restaurant venture.
Yes, but why the fairly?
I'm assuming you agreed to this,
but the percentage
of ownership...
it's a 60-40 split.
In your boyfriend's favor.
I just wanted to make sure,
because it seems a bit askew.
It seems pretty obvious
that you're the real asset here.
Also, we should go over division
of net profits,
-and equity compensation.
-It's fine.
Also, there's something
you should know.
Recipes aren't protected
under copyright law.
Anyone can copy
a chef's recipe.
And I just wanted you
to be aware of that.
What are you suggesting?
That Kevin would steal my dish?
No, no, no.
From the little
that I know Kevin,
he seems
like a real stand-up guy.
And I might add, quite a catch.
Is that
your professional opinion?
Because your counsel
is no longer needed.
Thanks for...
He seems sad.
You don't know him, chiquita.
We don't know him.
How are you supposed
to know somebody
if you don't give them a chance?
-Don't you ever go to school?
-It's feast day!
Of course it is. What's that?
Feast day of Saint Isidre.
Patron saint of followers.
We all pray for a good harvest.
-And then what do you do?
-We eat!
Of course you do.
Why do you run so much?
Because it's good for you.
I'm training for Iron Man.
You know Iron Man?
You're a pretty literal kid,
Well, I'm a kid, and maybe
you're just not used to that.
True. I'm not used to it at all.
-Can I ask you a question?
-That was a question.
-But yes, you can.
-Why did you hit Kevin?
-Why did Kevin hit you?
You'd have to ask him that.
What's the worst thing
you've ever done?
Cheat on my LSATS.
-How about you?
-Call my dad and hang up on him.
I just wanted to hear his voice.
He lives in Albuquerque
with his new wife
and their brand new baby.
He's my brother,
but when I look at him,
I just see a big blob.
What's the nicest thing
you've ever done?
Yet to be determined.
Does that mean you've never,
ever done anything nice?
maybe it means I haven't done
anything worth mentioning yet.
Call it bum luck.
I call that pathetic.
[Mexican music]
Look at that gringo eating goat!
You're kidding, right?
No, Mr. Handsome. It is goat.
Who knew I liked goat?
It's got this amazing smoky,
earthy thing going on.
That's Javiera and her chiles.
The Torres family are known
for their chiles.
They win all the big awards.
Where do they grow these chiles?
Oh, sorry. Is that a thing?
I didn't know that was a thing.
The key difference between a
New Mexican and Mexican cuisine
is the way you use your chiles.
You know?
It can make or break a dish.
Including your daughter's?
My daughter is a very good cook.
Speaking of which,
do I really have
to wait a full week
for this signature dish of hers?
-Couldn't I do something to...?
-Look at Mr. Charming.
Don't push it.
Javiera has been known
to skip for weeks
if she's not feeling like it.
Or if she's pissed off.
I bet she never gets pissed off.
[Mexican music]
What could I do? Just tell me.
He just showed up!
I really don't understand you.
I mean, what's your problem?
He.... he... he...
Es muy guapo.
Oh, looks?
That's all it takes for you?
I think after pap
you'd learn your lesson!
Yes, I had eight hellish years
with your pap.
But the sex was fantstico.
And that made up for it?
Well, let me tell you something.
You know what, it did not hurt.
Oh, and when it hurt,
it hurt so good.
Qu pervertida eres, mam!
Dale, dale, dale, dale.
You know,
I never thought I was religious,
but I like this church.
-So, where's the middle?
-The universe?
It's too big to tell.
Just think.
Before Galileo came along,
people thought the Earth
was in the middle.
We all thought
that all the stars
and the planets
revolved around us.
Is it true?
Are we out of beer?
Galileo proved that
we're just a part of it all.
-Huh, that's...
Let's face it, Galileo
and his stupid little telescope
are total downers.
Galileo was a hero.
He was a man of great integrity
and honor.
He went to jail
for what he believed.
Yeah? Well, I'm stuck
in this dusty little town
without a proper
workout facility.
So, stuff happens.
Listen, it sucks...
that we're not
the center of the universe.
It really, really sucks.
Who's with me?
Me! Oh, yeah.
Is there a 7/11 around here?
Tell me this guy is not
our new science teacher.
Didn't anyone warn you about
the drinking and the altitude?
I got it with the attitude.
Hey, can I get a ride?
No, not in my car!
That is a sweet little lady
right there.
-Is he drunk?
-Of course not.
Ok, maybe a little.
Let this be a lesson for you.
Don't drink and study astronomy.
Don't drink!
It turns you into a fool.
But you said he was a fool
when he wasn't drunk.
Why do I have a daughter that
questions me at every turn?
Why do you say that?
So how are you gonna
get him home?
Well, that's a good question.
Hey, wake up!
Wake up, you crazy man!
He's not waking up.
I wrote, "Stay in the truck!"
-Can't you read?
-Don't shout!
My head is killing me.
-Am I dead? Is this heaven?
But this is clearly
my personal hell.
This is your family
secret chile field.
Isn't it?
What do you know
about my chile field?
Nothing. Look, you're the one
who dragged me here, ok?
I tried to get you out
of my truck.
I can't believe this.
Only my family knows
about this place.
Don't worry,
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
Besides, I couldn't.
I have no idea
where the hell we are.
Wait. What are you doing?
No, no, no.
My grandfather had a farm
and I was a vegetarian
for years, it's fine.
-Wow, that's good!
No eating the product.
You said your...
your grandfather was a farmer?
He was an entrepreneur of sorts,
but what I remember
most about him
was how much he loved nature.
He always told me not to
overcomplicate things,
so the best ideas
are often the most simples.
It's kind of his motto.
It's like cooking.
Sometimes the most
complex dishes can be...
the most simple.
You can't hide
behind your ingredients.
I think.
Must be nice to have a passion
for something.
You don't like being a lawyer?
I wouldn't say it's a calling,
like your cooking.
I wouldn't say my cooking is
a calling as much as it's...
an instinct.
It sure is beautiful out here.
It's like we're in the center
of the universe, huh?
Real cute.
You know, just because
I have a bag over my head,
doesn't mean I don't know
exactly where we are.
Two right turns
and a stop sign, right?
You forgot a sharp left.
Ok, thank you, thank you.
Listen, we seem to have gone off
on a bad start.
How about I make it up to you?
You ever been in Santa Fe?
Never heard of it.
Ok, lame question.
Well, I never have.
I was just thinking...
I'm not going
on a date with you.
because I'm in a relationship.
Oh, really?
-I heard you were dumped.
-Ok, I got dumped.
And you have a boyfriend.
This would just be
me taking you out
to a very expensive meal.
Come on,
my sister just e-mailed me
about this place in Santa Fe.
It's new.
I get my own culinary tour
and you...
would get to check out
the competition firsthand.
[phone notification]
[phone notification]
[phone notification]
What are you getting
all dressed up for?
Just going to Santa Fe.
Isn't Kevin in Tulsa?
will you please go to the cafe
and bring us some eggs
for tonight?
I know what you're doing.
ndale, ndale.
Te amo, chiquita.
No, this one.
-Keep this one.
-I just...
I feel like it's so much skin.
Are you a nun?
Hold on, Stacey.
I can't believe
you're making me do this.
You are the one who reported
how great her chiles were.
I don't think you
and your food scientists
are gonna be able to
reverse engineer this one, sis.
Yeah? Well, you just...
let me worry about that, ok?
I just need one sample, Joel.
Just one.
You're calling me that now?
Everybody calls you that now.
-So, what are you doing here?
Just hungry.
I thought you were going
to have dinner with my mom.
She got all dressed up
for you and everything.
That's not fair!
I knew you first.
I think you're gonna have a lot
of fancy dinners in your future.
Hey, listen. Do me a favor?
Don't tell your mom I was here.
I wouldn't want her to think
that I ruined my dinner.
For your dumb luck.
I think you mean bum luck?
Yeah, that's what I said.
-I'll see you later?
-Have fun with my mom!
-See ya.
This isn't what you think it is.
I didn't say anything.
Where is he?
This was a bad idea.
-Sorry. I...
Definitely not.
I just need a minute.
Let's just get this over with,
That's the spirit.
Ok, I see we're gonna have to
set up some ground rules here.
Number one,
I'm here for the meal.
Everyone knows Kevin
in Santa Fe,
and I would like
to experience dining like...
like an anonymous civilian.
Which is why I'm here with you
and not him.
-Just to be clear.
Number two.
There will be
no post-dinner drinks.
And definitely not drinks.
What are you looking at?
You're not the only one who
doesn't consider this a date.
What makes you think
you're so damn desirable anyway?
Ok, ok, fine. I'm not blind,
but I'm a pretty good catch
I mean, I'm a lawyer,
I'm not ugly,
I've got some dollars in the...
-Hey, can you spare some change
-A guy can't have everything.
-Yeah, right.
Just wouldn't be fair.
Did you know oysters
are high in zinc?
Did you know they also raise
your sperm count?
Anyway. So...
tell me about you.
-This is not a date.
-This is not a date.
All right.
Well, believe it or not,
I used to own
a fancy restaurant.
A bit like this one.
In Albuquerque with my ex.
-Sophia's dad?
Turns out that saying,
"Too many cooks in the kitchen"?
Not such a clich.
At first,
it was great, actually.
Working side by side.
Bradley was
very proud of me and...
he would brag that
I could outcook him.
And then the reviews
started to single me out,
and people started
coming in for my dishes.
My chile sauce.
And uh...
he cheated on me.
We divorced,
he married her.
She's the stay-at-home type.
She wasn't staying at home
when she was banging my husband.
Thank you.
And now, you're with Kevin.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
So, what about you?
What's your sad, sad story?
What's your ex like?
Well, she's attractive.
I mean like, what does she do?
Lauren's in marketing.
Ok, marketing what?
Branding and...
stuff like that.
You have no idea
what she does for a living.
Our relationship
wasn't about that.
-She was very supportive.
-Oh, I bet.
Of you.
Don't you think it's important
for two people
to be supportive of one another?
Would you like to hear
about our specials?
And I will be very supportive
of your decision.
First, we have a lovely pollo
and pipian rojo.
Oh, nice!
That's chicken in red sauce
with pumpking seeds.
I make that from time to time.
We're also featuring tonight
a new dish,
called Asado de puerco verde .
It's a split-roasted pork chop,
stuffed with...
Ground pork in pasote
and served with
chile verde sickle?
Why, I guess.
Have you been here before?
Where are you going?
Y los dueos?
Los dueos
no se encuentran aqu?
Don't look at me,
this isn't a date.
Hey, what's wrong?
I need a drink.
Man, I knew that foody couple
from the tour sucked.
I feel badly.
You didn't steal my dish.
Your cooking is
so important to you.
It means everything.
Where did that come from?
-You want me to take it back?
-No way.
[people cheering]
What's in your pocket?
Is that Sophia's?
She lent it to me.
She thought
I could use the luck.
It's working, right?
Well, well, well.
I can't believe you.
And with this guy?
Is this about
our partnership agreement?
Are you trying to sabotage
our business?
Is that what this is to you?
A business agreement?
You know we're more than that.
I counted to 10.
I said, wait 10 minutes.
I thought you were
working in Tulsa.
What's her problem?
You think she was your...
girl or s'... oh you dick.
Well, well, well.
No more hitting.
Are you ok?
I feel horrible.
Oh, no. It's my fault.
I got in the way.
Getting punched in the face
really hurts.
It's the first time anyone,
much less a girl...
-A woman.
A woman, took a punch for me.
I think that's...
I think the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
I think that's the nicest thing
I've ever done for anyone.
You know, I...
I'm thinking about something
I haven't done with anyone
in years.
I'm totally up for anything.
You wanna cook together?
So, let's make this fun, huh?
Go pick like,
ten random ingredients.
Really? Is that gonna be good?
-What do you think?
How about that.
You're going easy on me.
You are a very smart man.
That's good.
Oh, so spicy!
-Control the bowl.
I got it, I got it.
This is getting a little weird.
But I like it.
I can't dance or cook.
[Cordelia singing]
What the heck?
Corn Flakes never looked
so good.
-They're cooking.
He might be the one!
It looks too good to eat.
And you...
look too good to be true.
No, no, it's a great idea.
The mix is the...
the dessert with the entree,
and that's why I think
it's a true winner.
A churro stuffed with
a beefy beanie burrito?
Come on, Brian.
I sent you out
for a new product.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's a good idea.
It's a Humami thing.
It's the salts with the sweets.
Yeah. Oh, thanks, dude.
All right. You guys aren't
giving me anything.
Don't tell me
I have to rely on Joel.
Oh, speaking of which,
did the chile sample come in?
You know a way
to turn things around?
A new marketing campaign.
Yeah. Good idea, genius.
We just ran
a bunch of new spots.
And we saw no bump in sales.
What about running old spots?
Retro is in,
and most importantly,
it's cheap.
You know what?
I like that. I like it a lot.
[phone ringing]
So good!
Hello? You've reached Joel.
[phone ringing]
[phone ringing]
It's my assistant.
Oh. Well, maybe it's important.
Do you have any open cases?
Open cases?
You watch a lot of TV.
I have a PhD in TV law, yes,
thank you very much.
Today is the big day, huh?
You get to finally
get your car back.
I hope he caught a lot of fish.
And I'm making
my signature dish.
I thought you'd be a little more
enthused about it.
I am, for you.
And I've been waiting forever
for this dish.
Yeah, you have.
you know, just because
you get your car back,
doesn't mean you have to leave.
Who says I'm leaving?
Who says you're not?
I do.
What are you doing here?
Thanks for returning my calls!
This is...
Oh, I'm Stacey. Joel's sister.
And this is Aaron, a colleague.
It's very nice to meet you,
both of you.
I'm Javiera, Joel's...
I mean...
So? What brings you two here?
Business? In Villanueva?
There's not much here.
Oh, I don't know, I wouldn't be
so sure about that.
Well, I'm so happy to meet you.
Today is a good day, too.
I'm making my specialty.
I had a feeling today
was gonna be a good day.
Excuse me.
I have to return to the kitchen.
Of course, go!
I need to talk to you.
You had a very specific task.
And instead, I find you here
rebounding with this woman?
It is not a rebound!
Oh, I take it that's
Javiera's daughter.
this is what you've been up to.
-Playing house?
She doesn't know who I am.
She knows that I'm a lawyer,
but she doesn't know the rest.
Please let me tell her.
Give me that, at least.
All right.
But I advise you to come back
to reality and quickly.
Before someone gets hurt.
Like that adorable little girl
over there.
So, his sister is in town
doing business here?
Maybe she's working in Santa Fe,
I don't know,
she didn't really say.
Maybe he's thinking about
moving here?
-And she came to check you out.
-Stop it with the jinxing! Mam!
It's that game!
He's been distracted all day.
I'm gonna start
charging you for this, ok?
It's ok, you can keep the TV on.
I am having a great day.
Oh, a woman in love.
That's all it took? Damn!
-So good!
-I'm glad you like it.
So, my daughter tells me that
you're doing business here.
My company is looking
to expand into the area.
Maybe we'll get to see you
more often.
We've gotten
quite used to Galileo.
Yeah, sorry.
That's the town's nickname
for your brother.
He thinks that the world
revolves around him, doesn't he?
I'm really starting
to love this town.
So, tell me more about
this signature dish
of your daughter's.
What's it called?
It's called, "Amanecer
chile verde de Javiera."
Javiera's green chile sunrise.
-rale! Hablas espaol?
-Un poco.
-Thank you.
How about that for marketing?
Why aren't you
just sitting there?
Why do you ask
so many questions?
And why are you never
in school?
Well, my classroom got flooded
and mom says that the whole
entire town needs new ducks.
I think you mean aqueducts.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Mom said you got your car back.
Does that mean
you're gonna leave?
I promise you something.
I won't leave here unless
I'm no longer wanted.
But you're wanted.
Thanks, kiddo.
Wait, where are you going?
To find out if I'm wanted.
It's amazing!
Oh, come on!
It's ok.
Tortilla Hut started
with the love and determination
of one man...
who respected nature and
whose motto was simplicity.
Where are you going?
You can't go in there.
She's in the middle of service
and she will kill you.
And to celebrate
Tortilla Hut's anniversary...
-Our famous taco combo...
-Isn't that Joel?
-is available for only $0.49.
Why are grandpa's tacos
so good, Joel?
Family and love.
That makes everything
taste better.
Tortilla Hut.
Where everything is
bigger and better.
Hey, what's going on?
Darling, what's going on?
He's not who he says he is.
-You're not Joel?
-No, I'm still Joel.
I'm just not the man
your mother thought I was.
That's what you said
about daddy.
give me a chance to explain.
For what?
So you can lie to me some more?
-What do you want from me?
-Hey, no! Hey, stop.
Joel, what are you doing?
My dish.
-You wanna steal my dish?
-No, we are not thieves.
We have every intention
of compensating you.
You wanna rip me off, huh?
Where does your food come from?
Tortilla Hut, of course.
You know where my food
comes from?
The lamb from my albndigas
come from Mr. Chaves.
Oh, and then Mrs. Garcia.
Her smoked chipotle cheddar.
Her goats pasture on our hills.
And she never gives them
You know why?
Because she respects
the animals!
And we can feel it, see it...
-taste it.
-That's right, Javiera.
And what about
the most important part?
Your family's chiles.
That's right.
So you and your industrial
food lady with antibiotics,
binders and emulsifiers,
are gonna need
a hell of a lot of inspiration
to duplicate what we have here.
we have all the inspiration
we need.
And we have a team
of food scientists
who can duplicate your chile.
That can't be real.
Or legal.
They're gonna compensate you,
I'm gonna see to that.
Ay, qu idiota eres!
You clearly don't know me.
And I obviously never knew you.
Javiera, please.
I didn't know how to tell you.
-Was this all a joke to you?
-No, it was real.
It was very real.
You don't even know
what that means.
This is real to me.
And I want no part of you
or your family.
-Wow, it's good to see you.
-Yeah, good to see you.
how long have you been back?
Oh, a while now.
I meant to reach out.
-No, Joel. I don't...
-To tell you I'm sorry.
You deserve better.
That's... thanks.
That means a lot.
-Hey, I heard you got promoted.
-Yeah, I did.
And I got engaged. Yeah.
-I know!
-Yeah, crazy, right?
I mean, I know it's super fast,
Hey, when you know, you know.
You know?
-Hey, I made you laugh!
-That's more of a chuckle.
You always knew what you wanted,
I wish I was so lucky.
Maybe you're luckier
than you think, Joel.
-Take care of yourself.
-You too.
And I am pleased to report
that we're well on our way
to achieving
our quarterly objective,
bringing sophisticated flavors
to mainstream America.
So now, I'd like to introduce
to you our new VP, Aaron Weston
who is going to present to you
our new product report.
Thank you, Stacey. Gentlemen.
We have worked around the clock
to duplicate
the Southwest experience
for our core consumers.
Our team combed
every corner of the Southwest
to find its most authentic
regional dishes.
And it doesn't get
more authentic
than the smoky New Mexican
green chile.
Using cutting-edge food science
Tortilla Hut is bringing
this exotic flavor
from our family to yours.
Now, what we have come up with
is testing through the roof.
I give you...
the Sopa Bowl salad.
So, what we have done is
recreate our favorite
Southwestern dish,
taking what works
while keeping cost low.
Right. Instead of pricy lamb,
we're using ground beef.
Instead of designer cheese,
our version is processed,
but gooeylishious,
as one focus group member said.
You want people to eat that?
No. We want them to devour it.
Also testing through the roof,
our chili sauce packets.
Pass those down.
We're thinking that
once these catch on,
we'll just slide in
a little upcharge.
You'll never be able
to duplicate Villanueva.
And I'm glad to see it.
And you'll never duplicate
Tortilla Hut
and what it means to you.
I don't wanna duplicate
I want something real.
I quit.
[Mexican music]
People have been asking
about your sunrise dish.
You know it's off the menu,
It's gonna be ok, ok?
You'll see.
Thank you.
I'll show them.
I'll bring Joel back.
Hola, mi chiquita.
Hola, abuelita.
Qu haces? Estudiando el mapa?
Es un mapa del tesoro.
A treasure map?
You are my treasure.
T eres mi tesoro.
What are you doing?
Oh, you...
Nice, you...
You're getting me
my own flowers?
Never promised you
a rose garden.
It's a song, it's from the 60's.
The 70's I think.
Why are you here?
Isn't it obvious?
I came here,
I biked 900 miles...
for you.
I love you, Javiera.
You're not the first man
to tell me that.
Maybe I'm the first man
to ever come back.
First man to apologize.
What I did was wrong
and selfish.
And I know now.
What I want at the center
of my universe isn't myself,
but you.
You and Sophia.
What do you plan
to do in this...
small dusty town?
I'm gonna open up a law office.
I Googled,
there is no lawyer for 35 miles.
You? You Googled.
I Googled.
Where's Sophia?
Mam, have you seen Sophia?
S, s. She was playing
with her treasure map.
Come back here,
you little thief!
Come back, you thief!
My granddaughter is not a thief!
She's a very good girl.
[pop music]
Sophia, please, stop the truck.
No, no, no, no, no. God!
Help! Somebody help!
Somebody help!
Help! Somebody help!
Can anyone hear me?
Somebody help!
Sophia! I'm coming!
Galileo, hurry!
My backpack!
Swim towards the rocks!
Climb over to the rock.
Hold on!
Hold on.
Let go on three, ready?
One, two, three.
No, no, it's ok.
It's ok, just hold on to Joel,
Oh my God!
Ay, mi beb.
Mamita, it's ok.
I love you, mommy is right here
Mommy is right here, baby.
My girl!
My crazy little girl!
Ests loquita?
What were you thinking?
I wanted Joel back.
Can we keep him? Please?
-He's not a dog, mamita.
Thank you.
Thank you for saving
my little girl's life.
Thank you for saving mine.
What are you looking at?
Let's get out of here.
We have an order for three more
chili smoothies.
Already? I haven't even finished
the last order yet.
It was your idea
to integrate yourself
into the family business.
Come on, daddy!
I'm not getting any younger.
I almost forgot,
I've got to catch the DA before
he goes to his fishing lunch.
You're working on a Saturday?
Hey, you knew I was a lawyer
when you married me.
Besides, somebody's gotta fight
for those bike lanes
on Main Street.
All right, all right.
I'll finish the smoothies.
Hey, take it easy.
I'm fine.
What's she feeding you, anyway?
Plenty of love.