Old Man Jackson (2023) Movie Script

1
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(star exploding)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(waves crashing)
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(waves crashing)
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle music)
(film reel spinning)
(gentle music)
(Andy gasping)
(Andy yawning)
- Oh,
do you have to yawn so early
in the morning, so loudly.
- Why did I let this flea bag
sleep in the bed with this all night.
Look at all this hair.
There's dog hair all over
the bed and my pyjamas,
for Pete's sake.
- Stop blaming my precious Ruby Rose.
For all we know, it could be your hair.
Come on sweetie pie.
Come on.
That's my baby, Ruby Rose.
Who loves this baby?
- Ah.
Oh.
Huh.
I think I'm coming down with something.
- It's all in your head.
- What?
How did you hear that?
You have bionic ears or something?
- Yes, I do.
I hear very well.
It's a gift.
(fingers clicking)
And a curse.
Why don't you go see a doctor or someone?
(door slamming)
All in your head, right Ruby?
- Huh, morning Sam.
- Morning.
Oh, Mr. Jackson,
I wish you'd do something
about that paper boy.
And look at this mess.
Every day, every day he does this.
- Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sam.
I'll have a talk with him.
- Mr. Jackson. I just wish
you'd get you a different paper boy.
I work hard every day and I need my sleep
and he wakes me up awful
early in the morning.
- Well, don't, don't worry.
I'll, I'll have a talk with him, Sam.
- You do that.
- You have a good day now.
- I'd hate to move.
(gentle music)
- Hi, Dan Ward, KNOW Weather.
Today will be partly cloudy
with a slight chance of precipitation.
Later this afternoon,
temperature rising up into the 80s.
Tonight, clear skies,
but temperature will be
dropping down in the 60s,
so make sure you grab a jacket.
Tomorrow, pretty much a repeat of today.
However, we will have a 20%
chance of precipitation.
We now go to Francis
with some breaking news.
Francis.
(dramatic music)
- Thank you Dan.
KNOW has some breaking news.
We now go live to the field
where KNOW's award-winning,
breaking news reporter,
Natalie Bustamonte is standing by.
Natalie.
- Francis, there were reports
of some serious injuries,
but it's unclear just
how many were inmates
and how many were guards.
I spoke with Warden Mitchell
Scarborough earlier,
and this is what he had to say.
Warden, Warden, would you
like to comment on the riots?
- Well, I was informed
that there was a riot
in the cafeteria this morning
while I was having my breakfast.
It appears one of the
inmates had a problem
with the portion size and out
of the blue attacked the cook.
Well, thank goodness for old
Jimbo here's quick thinking.
Ain't that right, Jimbo?
- That's right, Warden, that's right.
- Okay, and is the
situation under control now?
- I can assure the public
that they are in absolutely no danger.
Ain't that right, Jimbo?
- [Jimbo] That's right, Warden.
(gun firing)
(Natalie screaming)
- Action 5 Live was able to
obtain footage from inside.
But Francis, it's not
a pretty sight to see.
Viewer discretion is advised.
(inmates shouting indistinctly)
- Crazy world we live in.
(dramatic music)
- You're not gonna stay dressed
like that all day, are you?
- What?
- You look like a slob.
Put some clothes on.
- In a minute dear.
- What?
Comb that hair
- Oh shut up.
(gentle upbeat music)
- Did you just tell me to shut up?
- No, I said I was going to suit up.
(Gloria laughing)
- Remember what I told you?
I hear very well.
I'll let that one slide.
- Thank you dear.
- Oh, there's my sweetie.
Oh, what a good girl.
Get dressed.
- All right.
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
- What's, what's that smell?
- What smell?
- You smell like a flower.
- Oh, I may have dabbed
a little cologne on.
- A little?
You smell like a whole blooming bouquet.
- You're exaggerating.
- [Gloria] Uh-uh.
- Aha.
- [Gloria] Uh-uh.
- Jesus, Homer, you startled, man.
Almost gave me a heart attack.
- Sorry about that Mr. Jackson.
Ah, can I use your bathroom?
One out in the garage, it's still broke.
- Still?
- Still.
- I told the Mrs.
I told the Mrs. two days
ago to call a plumber.
Do I have to do everything around here?
Go ahead, Homer.
Light switch is behind the door.
(gentle upbeat music)
(car horn honking)
- Hey.
(car engine revving)
- [Ajax] What are you doing, man?
Old man Jackson's gonna be a skeleton.
- What?
- [Ajax] Get in the car.
- [Drums] But wait, this
one, this one, this one.
- [Ajax] All right, I'm leaving.
- Unbelievable.
(toilet flushing)
Oh, good God, Homer, shut that door.
(Andy coughing)
Wait, wait, turn on the exhaust fan first.
- It's broke Mr. Jackson.
- What?
- The exhaust fan broke.
- Door.
(Andy coughing)
- God.
The hell?
(gentle upbeat music)
- Do you think them boys
are gonna be on time today Mr. Jackson?
- I wouldn't hold my breath.
(gentle upbeat music)
(clock ticking)
- I'm too old for this already.
- Oh, you'll always be my baby boy.
- I don't care.
Please don't, please don't
kiss me in front of the guys.
Please, please.
Mom, the guys are watching.
- Oh, you owe me one.
You have a good day, sweetheart.
- You too, mom, bye.
- And you stay away from those girls.
- [Drums] Bye, later.
- Don't you think it's a little early
to be eating a candy bar?
Didn't I just see you
eating what looked to be
a ham sandwich or
something just a while ago
while you were sitting out in your truck.
- That was breakfast.
- And now?
- It's still breakfast.
- Well, well, don't you
think that for breakfast?
Maybe you should try a little.
I mean something a little, not.
Nevermind Homer, nevermind.
- Is that you smelling
all good Mr. Jackson?
- Homer, don't you have some work to do?
- Nope.
Shop, don't open for 20 minutes.
- Well go and finish your candy bar then.
Wait, better yet,
go and try to fix that broken
commode out in the shop.
- Right.
I'll do the best I can. Mr. Jackson.
- Okay.
(Andy laughing)
(door closing)
I'm surrounded by idiots.
(gentle music)
- [Zack] Morning Homes.
- It's Homer.
- I guess we're up to bat for
those late birds again, huh?
- Yeah, it sure does look like it.
- We better keep an eye
out for Mr. Jackson.
- Hmm, yeah 'cause it won't be long.
- You know what, Homer?
I got an idea.
It's a pretty genius one too.
You see that base truck?
Can you go get it?
We need to work on that one first
- Base truck?
- Yeah, right there.
- All right, I like the
way you're thinking.
- Thanks Homes.
- It's Homer.
- All right,
Homes.
(gentle upbeat music)
(truck engine revving)
(dramatic music)
(truck engine revving)
- [Gloria] I'm going to the beauty shop
and then shopping.
Need anything?
- What?
No, nothing from me.
- Would you stop worrying
about those boys?
They'll be here shortly.
- I have a business to run.
And a and a reputation at that.
- They're young, give them time.
- Hey.
- What is it?
- Just,
do I look pale to you?
- Pale?
Do you look pale?
Oh Lord here we go again.
- You don't have to
care, I was just asking.
- I care.
It's just you won't take my
advice about seeing a doctor
or a shrink.
I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
(Gloria laughing)
- Good one, good one, good one.
- Well, you asked.
- Oh, I'm sorry I did.
- You know what I think,
I think you are going
through a midlife crisis.
- Don't you have some shopping to do?
- Oh, yes.
Need anything?
- No, I do not.
- Goodbye sweetie.
Look at the pretty flowers I made you.
Bye-bye.
(door closing)
(Andy sighing)
- He's real is really good at this.
You know, he does it all the time.
And, okay, that should do it.
Give her a try.
(truck engine revving)
(all cheering)
- Amazing.
- It's on us.
Bye, ladies.
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
You see we've done our
good deed for the day.
(truck engine revving)
(police sirens blaring)
- Oh dios mio.
Jefe, you idiot?
You kidding me?
- All right, all right.
Licence and registration.
- What seems to be the problem?
- Hey, can it Chris Farley,
I'm talking to the driver here.
- Listen, we could probably
work this out a little bit.
- Are you kidding me?
You made that illegal U-turn over there
and then you turned over and this block
like a couple of maniacs.
You're still getting a ticket.
Stay right here, I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Oh, I'm so sorry Mr. Jackson.
I didn't know you were gonna be here.
- I live here, Gracie,
when wouldn't I be here?
- Oh, no, I mean, I didn't know
you were gonna be in this spot.
- Thanks for showing up.
(telephone ringing)
Gracie.
- Yes, Mr. Jackson?
- Answer the phone.
- Oh, right, Mr. Jackson.
Jackson's Garage.
What?
No, you need to hurry up.
I can only stall him for so long.
I dunno how much longer.
He's looking out the window.
Okay bye.
Thank you.
- Well?
- Well, what?
- Who was it?
- Oh, on the phone?
That was a wrong number.
- Wrong number?
It took you, it took you
that long to deal with,
with the wrong, no,
nevermind, Gracie, nevermind.
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
Morning boys.
- Morning, Mr. Morning.
- Morning, Mr. Jackson.
Morning, Mr. Jackson.
Morning. Mr. Jackson.
- Ajax, I need that truck
ready by noon today.
- You got it, Mr. Jackson.
- Oh, you can count on us, Mr. Jackson.
(dramatic music)
- Is that you smelling
so good Mr. Jackson?
- Nevermind, Zack.
You boys do a good job for me today.
- Yes, sir, you got it.
- Oh, you bet. Mr. Jackson.
(gentle upbeat music)
- Yeah.
- Oh, good morning Mr. Jackson.
- Good morning, Mr. Jackson.
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Jackson.
- Is that you that smells
like flowers Mr. Jackson?
- Nevermind.
Back to work boys.
- Yes, sir.
(door hinge creaking)
- Ugh, Gracie, can you give me a hand?
- Be glad to Ms. Jackson.
- God only knows I'm not
going to get any out of him.
(gentle upbeat music)
- Keep track of her time.
- Ah.
(gentle upbeat music)
(bike horn honking)
- Delivery for Homero.
- Homer, Homer you just ate.
- Well keeping these boys outta trouble,
that's a lot of work.
Makes me hungry.
- Just here 30 minutes ago.
(all laughing)
- Hey, where's your truck?
- Oh, senior.
The truck got towed.
Too many tickets.
Now I worry, they send
me back to 12 place.
- 12 place, what is that?
- You don't wanna know and
you never want to go there.
Do you want me to put that on your tab?
Same time tomorrow, hey Homero.
- Si senor.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
- Bye.
- I'm gonna get some of that Dagwood.
- Oh yeah.
Hey, get back in.
Hey.
- Whoa, whoa.
I got his place, I got his little one.
- [Gloria] So tell me about Jefe.
- [Gracie] Okay, so I don't know
if he's trying to get a girlfriend,
but everyone always makes fun of him.
Because every time he
tries to ask a girl out,
to go on a date, she turns him down.
- I'm going out for a hair
trim and a short drive.
And I'll be back in a little while.
Hello?
- I heard you.
- Well, why didn't you respond?
- Well, can't you see that we're talking?
- She's on your clock now.
I'll be back.
I shoulda made that call.
- What call?
- Nevermind.
I'll be back after a while.
- I'm wondering about him.
So tell me about Jefe.
- Okay.
(upbeat music)
- [Radio Host] I hope you enjoyed that.
That was some wonderful music
from the glory days of rock and roll.
- [Advertiser] Are you over the age of 50
and have been feeling tired
and less energetic than usual?
If so, you may want to think
about getting that physical
you have been putting off.
It could save your life.
Stop in today at the
Pera Town Medical Centre
where there is a full
staff waiting to help
save your health and your life today.
- Ah.
- You won't take my advice
about seeing a doctor.
- Ah.
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(people speaking indistinctly)
- [Reception] Suzanne, look at this fool.
- [Suzanne] Oh, Lord, not
today, not today girl.
- [Reception] May I help you?
- Yes, I was thinking maybe
I'd like to get a physical.
- Mm, well, I'll be with
you in a moment, sir,
why don't you have a seat?
I just need to finish my paperwork.
- Okay.
(gentle music)
There's no other patients waiting.
Why is this taking so long?
- Because Dr. McGregor isn't here yet.
She's running late.
- I saw some other doctors
walking around back there.
- Look, fill out these
forms and just have a seat.
Dr. McGregor will be with you shortly.
Everybody else is busy.
- All this?
(dramatic music)
- Hey, let me help you out.
- I'm, I can manage, I can,
I can manage, I can manage.
- Well, hey, can I get your phone number?
- What for?
- Well, how am I gonna get
ahold of you about your car?
- Where is my car?
Find my car.
(dramatic music)
- She sure is a nice girl.
- [Dr. McGregor] Morning, Catherine.
- Good morning.
- Had a blowout and no spare tyre.
Had to get a tow on the way to work.
It was awful.
You wouldn't believe it.
Do I like smell because his tow driver
smelled like something awful,
like something died in his truck.
- Oh, no, you're fine.
But did you forget something today?
- Like what?
- Your ID?
- Oh crap.
Guy thought he was a NASCAR driver.
It must have fallen off in his truck.
- Oh, no worries.
They'll print you a new one in admin.
- You're a lifesaver, Catherine.
I'm gonna go freshen up.
I'll be back in a second.
Are you sure I don't smell?
- I'm positive.
You're fine.
- Here you go.
- [Reception] Oh, hello there.
Hey, precious.
- She got bit by some mosquitoes.
Show your mosquito bite
baby, the mosquito bite.
- [Reception] Oh, is that a boo-boo?
Oh, we'll take care of her right away.
I'm gonna bring you all back.
- [Parent] Thank you.
- [Reception] Nancy,
can you bring them back?
- Yes of course.
- Thank you.
So precious.
(gentle upbeat music)
Oh no, what's wrong?
- [Parent] My baby's overdue for her shot.
- [Reception] Her shot.
Okay, we can take you right away.
Just go ahead and bring her back.
Go to your right.
(gentle upbeat music)
Hi.
- Hi, I brought my daughter
in for her physical.
- [Reception] Go right there to the right
and we'll take care of you now.
- Thank you.
- [Reception] You're welcome.
(gentle upbeat music)
- A volleyball for me.
Oh my gosh, I love volleyball.
- This is unbelievable.
I was here first and
you're all ignoring me.
I was here first.
I just want my physical.
Can't you all understand that?
- We know, sir, we know.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Finally, thank goodness.
What?
Oh, ow hey.
Oh, what?
Wait, what did I do?
What did I do?
- Maybe you should learn to
put women and children first.
- What?
No, I need my physical.
I need my physical.
Stop it.
Stop.
Come on, man, what about my physical?
I gotta get a physical.
- I knew you was trouble
the first time I saw you.
- Listen, oh, come on man.
I mean, I.
(Andy screaming)
- And don't come back here again.
Unless you want a piece of me.
- You're gonna get a strong
voiced letter from me.
Ow.
- Get out.
- You all are gonna be sued.
You can mark my words.
- It's just a physical.
Let's get thrown out.
That's ridiculous.
What did I do to deserve that?
I don't understand it.
Physical.
Some physical.
I get physically removed.
It's not my day.
Not my day.
- [Advertiser] Do you feel like something
is missing in your life, but
you just don't know what it is?
Do you feel a deep piercing,
tugging at your heart,
whispering a divine revelation?
Are you looking for answers today?
Why wait.
Stop in the first Lutheran cathedral today
for someone to pray with and get your life
back on track.
- What do you think?
Maybe it is time for a
little divine intervention.
Can't hurt.
(bells ringing)
(gentle music)
- All right, children, line up please.
(gentle music)
- Ouch.
(gentle music)
Ouch.
(gentle music)
- Apologise to this gentleman, now.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- It's perfectly all right.
(gentle music)
- Please forgive my brother
for he does not know what he's doing.
I will pray for him.
(gentle music)
- Children are wonderful, aren't they?
- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.
- We can learn a lot from
children if you can believe that.
- Yeah.
Beautiful church you have here.
- The Lord is good.
He deserves a beautiful place of worship.
- I suppose so.
- We get a little behind sometimes,
but the good Lord can always find a way
to provide the things we need.
- I see.
- The Lord works in mysterious ways.
- Well, does he?
- Of course.
Don't you know that?
- Well, I've never
thought about that before.
- Really?
Well, whom do you call
upon in time of trouble?
- Never thought about that either.
- Oh, come on, there must be someone.
- I don't,
my father.
- Ah, your heavenly Father.
- No, my dad.
He's no longer with us.
- Well, I'm sorry to hear that,
but I'm sure he's with the Lord.
- Could be.
Never thought about that before.
- Well, what can we do for you, Mr.
- I'm sorry, Jackson, Andy Jackson.
- Andrew Jackson, like the president?
- No, just, just Andy.
- Oh, okay.
Well, what brings you here today, Andy?
- Oh, no particular reason.
- Something on your mind.
I can sense something's troubling you.
- I, I, I'm not, I'm not sure.
- You know, you can tell me
anything in complete confidence.
Trust to be Andrew.
Trust the Lord.
- I think I'm dying.
- Oh, really?
- I think so.
- Well, are you sure?
You seem very healthy to me.
- Oh, exactly.
- [Father Donovan] I'm confused Andrew.
- Andy.
- I'm sorry, Andy.
- Let's just say I've had a premonition.
- Oh, that's nonsense.
You look perfectly fine.
How do you feel?
- I feel all right.
Little sore.
- Well, have you had that checked out?
- Well, I tried.
- I'm listening.
- See, see, I went out to a
clinic just this very morning
to get a checkup and then
what I was, and I, and,
and then that what?
Long story short, I was thrown out.
- Now why on earth
would you be thrown out?
- They said I was being difficult.
I'd only waited a couple
hours to see someone.
I was the first one in
there, mind you too.
Next thing you know that this ER clinic's
just full of these women and children.
And the the doctor in
charge there's saying,
"These women and children
first and blah, blah, blah."
Next thing you know, I'm being thrown out.
- But common sense says to
put women and children first.
- Well, I had an emergency too.
I mean, a kid swallowing a marble,
he looked perfectly fine to me.
And baby's crying, come on.
No, no, my situation
was way more important.
- I see.
Andrew, I don't think there's
anything wrong with you.
- You don't?
- No, I don't.
I just think you'll worry too much.
- I do.
- Yes.
How's your home life?
Married any children?
Just my wife of 25 years.
No children.
I'm only child.
- Well, what was your
childhood like growing up?
- It was, it was tough.
Both my parents were very strict.
My father was a workaholic.
My mother was an intense homemaker.
You see my dad, he inherited
the family business
from my grandfather.
He worked all the time, constantly.
I don't know, I guess while the other kids
were out playing sports and whatnot,
I was, I was home studying
and helping my father in the garage.
My plans were to go to
an Ivy League school.
I would've got in too.
But I ended up with the business.
- I think I begin to understand.
- You do?
- Yes.
You worry so much because
you have no children
and therefore are afraid
that you won't have anyone
to pass your business onto.
- Wow.
You think that could be it?
- Well, like I said, the Lord
works in mysterious ways.
Sometimes we can't
understand, but he does.
And that's all that matters.
- Well, I guess so.
- You don't want to
disappoint your father.
Just like, we don't want to
disappoint our father in heaven.
- I never thought about it like that.
So no children and too late to start.
Why not just leave the
business to your wife?
Let her make some decisions.
- That's not gonna happen
in a million years.
She knows nothing about
the car repair business.
- Well, come on.
Why not?
Times have changed, Andrew.
Women can do wonders nowadays.
They're leaders and doctors
and astronauts and professors.
- I would rather it burn to the ground.
- Oh, you don't mean that.
- I do.
- That's a terrible thing to say.
Don't you trust your wife?
- I do.
Just not with the business.
I mean, a car mechanic, she is not.
Let's put it this way. Ain't gonna happen.
- I see.
Say no more.
Your true colours have come to light.
The good Lord has shown
you for who you really are.
Not just a hypochondriac,
but also a hypocrite.
- [Andy] A hypochondriac, hypocrite.
Certainly not.
- [Father Donovan] I'm sorry,
but we're just about out of time.
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
Sister Marjorie, come here.
- Yes Father Donovan.
- What's going on here?
- May the Lord have mercy on your soul.
- I knew you were a gravel riser,
the first moment I laid eyes on you.
- No, wait, I just, can I just
say, wait, what, what, wait,
what about my prayers?
- Oh, I'll pray for you all right.
I'll pray that the good Lord
will soften your stone cold heart.
Now, get outta here.
- Ow, easy.
- What's, what's up with the ear, ow.
What would Jesus do?
- Ask him yourself.
Because you need Jesus, boy.
What would Jesus do?
Jesus will put women and children first.
That's what he would do.
Now, get and stay out.
(gentle upbeat music)
(Andy moaning)
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
- Well, that went swell.
Thanks a lot.
(gentle upbeat music)
(car engine revving)
(gentle upbeat music)
(car engine revving)
- [Advertiser] Are you depressed?
Do you feel like you're
all alone in the world
and no one understands you?
Do you feel anxious about
everything day in and day out?
Does your spouse seem upset
with your every move, every day,
and not pay enough attention to your needs
when it matters most to you?
Well, I have some good news for you.
You are not alone.
There are hundreds of thousands
of people just like you
and our professionals are standing by
ready to take your call right now.
So what are you waiting
for? Pick up the phone now
and call our toll free number
and start feeling alive again today.
(gentle music)
(car engine revving)
(gentle music)
- Yes, may I help you?
- Ah, no, no, I'm sorry.
I think I came to the wrong place.
- Do you have an appointment, Dr. O'Brien?
- No, I don't have an appointment.
I was, I was just driving by
and thought I might stop in for a minute.
But if I need an appointment,
I can come back some other time.
- Andrew.
Andrew Wilmore Jackson.
- Yeah.
It's Andy.
But it, how, how did you, how did?
- Maplewood High, class of '76.
We are fast and we are furious
We won't be last
because we are serious
Maplewood, Maplewood, Maplewood
The Mighty Mustangs
The Mighty Mustangs.
- Wait, wait a minute.
I know you.
Harry.
Harry O'Brien.
- So good to see you old friend.
So good to see you.
- Yeah.
- Come on back.
Asia, you hold my calls.
- Yes Dr. O'Brien.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
- Oh, Andrew, it's good to
see you, it's been years.
How you doing?
- Well, I've been all right, I guess.
- Yeah.
Hey, you saw that mechanical
shop going for you?
- Yes, yeah, yes, I do.
- Say, I was reading some
articles not long ago,
and I wanted to say congratulations
on winning those awards.
- Well, I appreciate that.
- Sure.
Any children?
- No.
Not yet.
- Well, how's Mrs. Jackson doing?
- She's the reason I'm here.
- Are you sure they're in there?
- Copy that, one subject confirmed.
- [Police Officer] What
about the rest of 'em?
- Negative.
(dramatic music)
- Team B, blink right.
(dramatic music)
- I want you to tell me
everything that's on your mind.
You know, I can kinda sense
that something's bothering you.
- Well, I don't know.
I just, I had been feeling
right lately, you know,
and I got this shop with these mechanics,
a bunch of juvenile delinquents
and issues with the wife.
I have tell you, I've
been having the oddest.
- Andrew, you know what this is?
- A cigar.
(Dr. O'Brien laughing)
- Oh, that's a good one.
That's good.
- Everything all right, Dr. O'Brien?
- Asia, everything's all right.
Andrew just made a joke.
Nice girl.
- Yeah.
- Teammates flex will.
- Oh, well?
- Roswell here.
- [Police Officer] Roswell.
Roswell and Tidwell, what
are y'all doing here?
- Cromwell?
Tidwell, that's you?
- Let me let you in on
a little secret, Andrew.
That woman Asia, she's
illegal, she's from Russia.
And these babies, they're Cubans.
- [Andy] Where did you get those?
- Well, Asia brought 'em back
when she came through Cuba to the US.
- I thought you said she was from Russia.
- How do you think she got here?
From Cuba.
(Dr. O'Brien laughing)
- Oh, oh.
So, so those are illegal.
That's a little dangerous, isn't it?
What if she's a spy?
- Shh, Asia might hear you.
I shouldn't be telling you this,
but to my partner down the hall,
bless his heart, he got a divorce
and he got himself one of those
mail order brides from Russia.
- You don't say?
- It's true.
And that woman Asia is
his mail order bride.
- Well, I'll be.
- Oh yeah.
Oh, hey, wait a minute.
(table banging)
Oh, Andrew, have I got a surprise for you?
You just wait right there
and I'll be right back.
(gentle upbeat music)
Here he is, as I live and breathe.
- Andrew,
Andrew Wilmore Jackson.
No, I just can't believe it.
- Wait a minute.
I remember you.
You used to make those
weird noises in homeroom,
you sat behind me.
Every time the teacher would
look in your direction,
you'd point my way.
(all laughing)
- Yeah, that's right, that's right.
(all laughing)
We used to do that all the time.
It was so fun.
- You were so easy to work with.
- Dr. Veelson, you have a phone call?
- Asia, can't you see? We are busy.
- An old friend stopped by.
- Hmm, I'll hold your calls.
- What do you think, Andrew?
- Oh.
- It's okay, Andrew, he knows, you know.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey, how the heck have you been Andrew?
- Andy.
- Huh?
- Nevermind.
How have you been?
- Just a little behind on my taxes.
But other than that, a little.
(both laughing)
- Oh, come on.
- Hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Are you
thinking what I'm thinking?
- I think I am.
We are fast and we are furious
We won't be last for we are serious
Maplewood, Maplewood, Maplewood
The Mighty Mustangs
The Mighty Mustangs
- Come on Andrew.
- Come on, come on.
(gentle music)
- Shh.
(speaks in foreign language)
What'd you just say to me?
(speaks in foreign language)
Strong and we are sturdy
It won't be long for we fight dirty
Maplewood, Maplewood, Maplewood
The Mighty Mustangs
The Mighty Mustangs
Maplewood, Maplewood, Maplewood
The Mighty Mustangs
- Freeze.
- Get on the ground.
(dramatic music)
- Hey, what did we do?
- You'll find out.
Wait, who is this guy?
- Ah.
- Man, get over here.
- Come on, get 'em, get 'em.
- Trimwell, you got the girl?
- [Trimwell] Affirmative.
(gentle upbeat music)
- Let's get these turds outta here.
Let's go.
(dramatic music)
(Dr. O'Brien moaning)
- Call my lawyer Andrew.
Call my lawyer.
(Asia screaming)
(speaks in foreign language)
(Asia screaming)
Oh, goodness.
(speaks in foreign language)
- That sounds like Spanish.
- You think she lied?
Call my lawyer, Andrew.
(wind chimes clinking)
- Crown me.
(Homer laughing)
- Golly Ms. Jackson,
you done beat me again.
(Homer laughing)
- Oh, Homer, have you seen Mr. Jackson?
I haven't seen him all day.
- Hmm, you know, Ms. Jackson,
I haven't seen Mr.
Jackson since breakfast.
- Oh my.
Well, I think I'm gonna go look for him
and take Miss. Ruby Rose on a little walk.
- All right.
Good luck looking for him.
And you take care of Ruby Rose.
- Well, thanks for the game.
I'll beat you again soon.
- I'm sure you will, I'm
sure you will Ms. Jackson.
(upbeat music)
Yeah I'm gonna take him
to the train station
I just him gone
The same station that dirt he used
On Yellowstone
I caught him cheating too many times
Like cowboys do
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
(car engine revving)
(bell ringing)
- Welcome to Bal Marinos.
Can I take order.
- One coffee.
Large.
Black, please.
- [Worker] Sir, can you
please drive around?
- Okay.
(car engine revving)
- Good afternoon, sir.
Welcome to Bal Marinos.
- Thank you.
- We don't sell coffee,
this is a pizza place.
- I'm sorry, I made a mistake.
- It's okay.
It happens all the time.
Would you like a hot
slice of pepperoni pizza?
- Hey, it is the best in town.
- Pizza gives me extreme heartburn.
- We can go easy on the sauce.
(car horn honking)
- Come on, what's taking so long?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
sure, I'll have a slice.
- Give us a moment.
You won't be disappointed.
- You guys are such dorks.
- All I wanted to do was get something.
(car horn honking)
- That one.
- The red peppers.
Ooh, right choice.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Da, da, da, da, da, da
- Lemme call my boss,
tell him I won't make it in today, okay.
(car horn honking)
All right, is that good with you?
No, no, no, no, no, lemme
get my wife on the phone.
All right, I tell her, say
honey, I'm not coming home today.
- Here you go sir, light on the sauce.
- It's the best in town.
Thanks, how much?
- It's on us.
- Oh, all right then.
(Andy laughing)
- Have a nice day.
- Have a good day.
(car engine revving)
How can I help you, sir?
- Well, it's about time Skippy.
I've been on line since
I was 18-years-old.
Look at me now, I'm ready to retire.
Hey, hey, hey, you can't do that to me.
Hey, hey.
What is this?
This must be my lucky day.
(gentle upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(gentle upbeat music)
(car horn honking)
- What is this guy?
(car horn honking)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Get up here.
What the world is wrong with this cat?
- This guy rude.
- Hey, what the heck old man.
Did you see us playing?
- Hot?
- What?
Did you just call me hot?
- Hey, I just hear you
call my old lady hot.
- No, hot.
- He sure did.
I heard him clear as a bell.
- I can't believe the
audacity of this guy.
- Look calling her hot
in front of her man.
- Hot.
- Lemme have at him.
- I can't let you get away with that, Mr.
- Hey man, let's have a
little fun with this guy.
- Yeah.
(Andy moaning)
Come here bud.
You wanna play.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
- [Biker] Hey guys, let's have a beer now.
- Coffee.
(both laughing)
- You think it hit him already?
- Probably so.
- You guys are so dumb.
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Hey, what are you doing
to that poor old man?
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
- [Biker] Let's get him.
- There's a big biker rumble at the park
and someone's gonna get killed.
They're chasing me now.
- What is your location?
- [Biker] Get her.
- [Jogger] Send help.
- Okay, help is on the way, hold on.
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(birds chirping)
(jogger screaming)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
- [Fireman] Coming with us chief.
- I think I'm going to set this one out.
Make us proud.
- You got it, chief.
(fire engine siren blaring)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
- Who were you calling?
- [Biker] She was calling the cops on us.
- No, I wasn't, I was calling my mother.
- Liar.
Say you're sorry.
- Don't make her regret step 12.
- Enough with the step 12, huh?
(upbeat music)
- Okay wait, everybody stop.
Hey listen, hear that.
Sirens.
They're getting closer.
About three minutes out.
Let's get this old dude back in his car.
(fire engine siren blaring)
(bikers laughing)
- I forgot something.
Have a nice day.
- Come on, we gotta scoot.
(fire engine siren blaring)
(motorcycle engines revving)
(fire engine siren blaring)
(people speaking indistinctly)
- An audience already, huh.
- Damn comets.
Get these people back, Williams.
- Move on.
Go on.
- He seems out of it.
- Car doesn't look banged up.
- I know, it's weird.
There's no damage at all.
- Hey guys, you smell that?
- What am my hard of smelling?
- Smells like, like pepperoni pizza.
- Ooh, there it is on the floor.
- Ah and a bite's taken out of it.
That thing is covered
with a lot of hot peppers.
- Well, thanks a lot. Captain Obvious.
- I used to work at a pizza joint.
- He used to work at a pizza joint.
- Well, there it is.
That's what happened.
- What happened?
- Well he ate the pizza.
He can't handle the hot stuff.
(all laughing)
- You guys are a bunch of regular sleuths.
- Sorry I'm late for the party boys.
- Well, about time we get
a real professional here.
How you doing Cliff?
- Good, Adam, what we got here?
- That's what we're trying to figure out.
- [Cliff] What's that smell?
- Hot peppers.
- Hot peppers.
- [Cliff] What?
- Look on the floor board.
- Oh.
- Carolina Reapers.
- Damn, that's strong.
- Think that's what did it?
- Heck do I know.
You're the experts.
- Ooh, shots fired.
All right, all right, we'll look into it.
Alvarez, get that stretcher.
- You know there might
be a witness over there.
- Good idea.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
- I'll stay here with
MacGyver and Barney Fife.
- Let's not rush to judge.
(all laughing)
- We ain't got all day Hernandez.
- Well, you boys ain't
going to believe this.
Did y'all happen to run up on
some bikers on the way here?
- Yeah, as a matter of fact, we did.
- Seems they had
everything to do with this.
Witness saw some bikers
roughing up that poor guy.
- Hmm.
Is that a fact?
- That's right.
So you guys gotta, excuse me,
I gotta go find me some bikers.
- Be careful.
Hey, call us the tow truck, please.
- What are we gonna do now?
- I say we go to the hospital
and get us a statement when he wakes up.
- Isn't that the sheriff's job though?
- Relax Wilson?
There's a new doctor
in town, Dr. McGregor.
I have some questions.
- I bet you do.
- Boys, boys, have you seen Mr. Jackson?
- No Ms. Jackson, I
haven't seen him all day.
- No Zack?
How about you Drums?
- No, I haven't seen him either.
- I haven't seen him at all.
- Jefe.
- I'm sorry.
No, I haven't.
- So let me know if you
see him okay, right away.
- Yes ma'am.
- Yes ma'am.
- Yes ma'am.
(spanners clanking)
(Andy moaning)
- Oh my God, it's him.
- Him who?
- The man, from earlier.
He was escorted outta here.
- What are you talking about?
- It's a long story, Melanie.
But what I need to know
is how he got back in
and what in the world happened to him?
- He got beat up by a biker chick.
- What are you doing here?
Are you following me?
- What?
No.
- Then why are you here?
- I have his car.
I followed the ambulance here.
I didn't know where to take it.
- What in the world is going on?
Do you two know each other.
- Another story.
It's another long story.
- Enlighten me please.
- Another time.
- Can't wait to hear this one.
- You can take it.
You can take it to the tow yard.
You can take it to the junkyard.
Take it anywhere really,
but it can't stay here
and neither can you.
- If you two would like to be alone.
- Oh, stay, stay.
(heart machine beeping)
- I'll be right back.
- Hey, come see me sometime.
We can see about what's in here.
(both laughing)
Weirdo.
- Excuse me ma'am,
do you know what we can
find a Dr. McGregor?
Ma'am?
(finger clicking)
- What kind of drugs they
serve in this clinic?
- Some good ones.
- Third floor.
- Third floor?
- Upstairs.
- Yeah.
- What kinda drugs?
- Hey, where did you get those?
- Oh, they're just
downstairs in the gift shop.
- Gift shop.
- Can I smell?
- Yeah.
- Yeah go ahead.
- Aren't they cute out here?
(tow driver sneezing)
- Oh.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
- Take them.
- I can have 'em?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, how are you doing?
Hi Dr. Andrew.
- How are you?
Good.
- Great.
- What's going on.
- Now I already don't understand
the whole internet saying,
but why the rubber duckies?
- Ooh, Lord, have mercy.
- [Nurse] Girl my heart's on fire.
- Uh-uh, y'all just go
on about your business.
Code blue, code blue, Nurses Station 1.
- Y'all see my fine self every day.
Now what do they got that I don't have?
- Excuse me.
Do you guys happen to know
where I can find a Dr. McGregor?
- Yeah, she's on the way.
- Catherine, what's the emergency?
- Dr. McGregor, there's no emergency.
Sorry that's a false alarm.
- Ain't no false alarm here.
- Ladies, control yourselves.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Dr. McGregor.
- I'm Chief Mark McKenzie.
- Nice to meet you.
- This is Lieutenant Landon.
- [Dr. McGregor] Hi.
- [Landon] How do you do?
- We brought a patient
here a little bit ago,
so we were just following up
to make sure he was gonna be okay.
- We aren't sure yet.
He's still in observation.
But he should be okay.
- I'll be right back.
Save me a live one.
- Hey, hey chief, I'll be right back.
(heart machine beeping)
(gentle music)
- So, so don't the police usually
make these kinds of investigations?
- They do, but we can
manage information also,
like phone numbers.
- Oh.
Hey Catherine.
(gentle music)
- Let me check to see
if your room is ready.
- Those are some lovely flowers you have.
- Huh?
- You're gonna make somebody
very happy with those flowers.
- Here, you can have 'em.
- For me.
Oh, thank you.
Jesus is going to bless you.
- Yeah, we'll see about that.
(gentle music)
- That was weird.
- Yeah.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- We have to go.
We have a three alarm.
- Now?
- Yeah.
Where's Landon?
- I think I saw him go that way.
- Well, we have to go quick.
(nurses giggling)
- What's going on, ladies?
Huh?
- Landon.
- What's up chief?
- We got a three alarm, let's go.
- Why didn't you say anything.
They was just showing me around
in there.
- Get it together pretty boy.
I'll give you a call Dr. McGregor.
- Please do.
- Let's go.
- Right.
- Dr. McGregor, come
quick, he's coming to.
- Huh?
Where am I?
- You're in the hospital, sir.
Can you tell us anything
about what happened?
- Oh.
I feel dizzy.
It's you again.
You're not gonna throw me out, are you?
- No, not this time.
- Then why the guards?
- Oh, they're not here for you.
They're here for him.
- Him?
Oh no, that's the guy from the TV.
He's on a mission.
You can't leave me alone here with him.
You, you can't, he's from the TV.
I can't stay with him.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I can't, I can't.
(upbeat music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
(upbeat music)
(nurse screaming)
- He went that way.
(upbeat music)
- Thank you, we know.
(upbeat music)
(footsteps tapping)
(gentle music)
(footsteps tapping)
(upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
- Oh.
- How you like them apples, boy.
- You're so gonna pay for that, you bum.
- That'll teach you, coming here
and knocking down my house every day.
- House?
It's a rundown shack.
I wouldn't be caught dead,
living in that piece of junk.
- You got a lot of nerve kid.
- Behind you.
(dramatic music)
Ain't that right, Sparky?
- That's right, Greg.
- [Greg] Ain't that right, Maddie.
- That's right, Greg.
- Ain't that right, Shelly.
- That's right, Greg.
- [Greg] Ain't that right, Curly?
- That's right, Greg.
- Ain't that right, Knuckles.
- That's right, Greg.
- Ain't that right, Tank?
- That's right, Greg.
(dramatic music)
- What are you gonna do?
- Fire.
(dramatic music)
You mess with the best.
You die like the rest.
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
- Mr. Jackson, you see this mess?
I'm having a bad day.
- You're having a bad day.
(Andy laughing)
- I've had it, I'm moving out.
Oh, Mrs. Jackson's been
looking for you all day.
- There's a good girl.
That's a good girl, mommy's girl.
Yeah, you stay.
Good girl.
(Andy crying)
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
What happened to you?
I was worried sick.
- Were you really now?
- Oh yes.
Where have you been?
And why do you have a hospital gown on?
Oh my God.
You're bleeding.
- Nevermind.
It's a long story.
I need a shower.
- You, you need looking after.
Oh.
(dramatic music)
(door closing)
- Homer.
- Oh, hey there, Mr. Jackson.
Mrs. Jackson been looking for you all day.
(Andy moaning)
(shower water pattering)
- [Andy] Oh wow.
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
(gentle upbeat music)
(Homer whistling)
- Well, thank you for
breakfast Ms. Jackson.
- Oh, anytime Homer, anytime.
(Gloria laughing)
- [Reporter] 24-year-old right hand, man.
- Thanks for breakfast, Mr. Jackson.
- Oh, quite welcome, Homer.
Put in a good day for me now, will you?
Will you?
- I surely will Mr. Jackson.
I surely will.
- All right then.
(gentle upbeat music)
- You have to understand, son,
you have to get this check just right
or you'll never get this belt off.
Andy, pay attention.
You gotta pay attention, son.
One day all this is gonna be yours.
- Oh boy, I can hardly wait.
- With that attitude you're
never gonna get it right.
You need to pay attention, son,
or you're gonna ruin the business.
- Dad, I don't wanna be a mechanic.
(spanner clanking)
I think I'm coming down with something.
Mom.
- Andy.
Andy.
God.
(gentle upbeat music)
- I've earned it.
Well, we've earned it.
- I'm sorry, I never
gave you any children.
- Huh?
What are you talking about?
- Just what I said.
- Nonsense.
Never crossed my mind.
- I'm sure it has a time or two.
You don't have to tell me.
I see it, every day,
you salute those photos.
This business was supposed to be passed
from generation to generation.
And with no children of your own,
you have no one to pass it on to.
- It's fine.
It never crossed my mind.
Really, I promise
- I can see it in your eyes.
Regrets.
And with no children, you are worried.
I can see it.
- You talk like I'm gonna die today.
- Well, you never know.
I am kidding.
- Believe me,
I don't blame you for not
giving me any children.
Don't ever think that was your fault okay.
Only God knows the reason.
(gentle music)
- You are so sweet.
(gentle music)
You're a good man.
(gentle music)
Oh and now give me some
money for grocery shopping.
- What, again?
- Yes, you've got all
those hungry boys outside.
- Well, they're not adopted.
- Maybe we should adopt.
Homer, I like him.
- He eats too much.
- Oh no.
He likes the eggs.
- He likes everything.
- [Gloria] Oh, thank you, honey.
- There you go.
- So nice of you.
There's my sweet Ruby Rose.
(gentle music)
- KNOW Action 5, live news update.
I'm Lynette Miller.
Officials are still unsure
how a patient managed to create
chaos at a local hospital,
prompting a chase through the halls,
including patient's rooms.
One inmate being held at the hospital,
also managed to escape in the process.
No report on who the patient
was or why he was there.
Meanwhile, officials are still looking
for the inmate who escaped.
If you see this man, do not approach.
(gentle upbeat music)
- Good God.
That could have been me.
- What could have been you?
- Oh, oh, nothing.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
(gentle music)
My last will and testament.
(gentle music)
(telephone ringing)
The phone.
- Oh, sorry, Mr. Jackson.
Good morning, Jackson's Garage.
How can I help you?
Yes, I can hold for a minute.
- Hello.
Hello.
Aha, I got you now.
You see that, nobody fools Mr. Jackson.
I got you now.
I got you now.
Do you see Gracie, do you see?
I got him now.
I got him.
End of the line for those delinquent,
for those like delinquent.
(Andy moaning)
(dramatic music)
- Mr. Jackson.
Mr. Jackson,
Mr. Jackson.
Mr. Jackson, wake up.
Help, Mr. Jackson.
- Morning, Mr. Jackson.
- Help.
- What happened to Mr. Jackson?
- I don't know.
- What's going on?
What'd you do to Mr. Jackson?
- Wasn't me.
Come on guys, help me.
- Oh my God.
What happened to Mr. Jackson?
- What's it?
Mr. Jackson, Mr. Jackson.
- Dios mio.
(speaks in foreign language)
What happened to Mr. Hackson?
It was your fault.
- What?
- You called me.
- It was my fault?
- You told me to stalk him.
And then he started acting like a mad man.
He passed out.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- What are y'all doing here?
- Ms. Jackson?
- Oh my God.
Andy, Andy, what happened?
- I don't know, Jefe called me.
Mr. Jackson started acting crazy.
He fell over.
He passed.
He's not waking up.
Do something Ms. Jackson.
- Well, what are we gonna do?
Call 911.
- I'm on it.
I'm on it Ms. Jackson, I'm on it.
- Just hit on the girl.
- Let's just kick her out.
Now he's got.
- Delivery for Homero.
What happened to Mr. Hackson?
Do you want me to put that on your tab?
- [Homer] Si, si.
- Homer.
- Bro.
- [Zack] Do you know what to do?
- [Jefe] In Spanish
maybe, but not in English.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(dramatic music)
- Roll him over here, gentlemen.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Is he dead?
- What, do I look like a doctor?
- No, you look like a fool.
And don't get fresh with me.
You can take him down the second
floor to see Dr. McGregor.
- I don't.
- Nice.
- I'll have what he's having.
- Relax.
Be nice.
- Doesn't look like kings.
- Hey another one.
- You can take him to the happy place.
Welcome to the happy place.
Where there's 12 steps to happiness.
- [Patient] No, no.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Hey, does this guy look familiar to you?
- Kind of.
You know, I changed my mind.
I want you to pay me.
- What?
You can't do that, man.
Remember.
- You can't prove it.
- Would you two, keep it down over there
and stop acting like children?
Come get these tags and tag 'em.
Mr. Jackson and Mr. Johnson.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Really?
- All right, get outta here, you two.
- Yes, sir.
- Hand me that.
(people speaking indistinctly)
(telephone ringing)
- Jackson's Garage.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Ms. Jackson, Ms. Jackson.
Hospital, the hospital's on the phone.
They say they wanna talk to you.
- Hello.
Yes, yes, this is Mrs. Jackson.
What?
What?
You cremated my husband?
Thank you very much.
Thank you for putting me on hold.
So kind of you.
(door knocking)
- Hey there.
- Hi, I'm Hal with UPS.
- Hi, Al.
I thought you guys wore brown.
- It's Hal.
- Right.
(birds chirping)
- Is Ms. Jackson here?
- But seriously, why the change?
- Look, man, this joke
is getting old, okay.
I hear this way too many times.
So.
- I'm Homer.
- This is not United Parcel Services.
- It ain't?
- Nah, it's Urn Processing Services.
- Golly, is that Mr. Jackson?
- What?
How am I supposed to know?
I'm the delivery guy.
- You know, maybe I
better go get Ms. Jackson.
Hey there, Mr. Jackson.
- Hey, Melanie.
- Hey, Jane.
What's new?
- Nothing new here.
How was your date?
- Oh, disaster.
Guy didn't even have enough
money to pay for the meal.
Can you believe that?
- Are you serious?
- Come on, it's not funny.
- What did you do?
- I excused myself to the bathroom,
bolted out the back
door and called a taxi.
- I'm so sorry.
Can you send me a report
on this when you're done?
- Yeah, I can send it to
you by this afternoon.
- Cool.
Do you wanna grab lunch?
- Yeah.
Before you go.
- What?
- Tell me.
- Tell you what?
- Tell me, come on.
- Tell you what?
- You know.
- It's just a promise ring.
- Oh my gosh.
- It was really sweet, though.
- Oh, are you with?
Hey, I thought you guys wore brown.
- It's been a long day.
- Don't let this one go.
- He's a keeper.
- Did, did you see that?
- See what?
I think you're, I think
you're working too much.
I think you're starting to hallucinate.
- Yeah, I think you're right.
(both screaming)
(Andy moaning)
(dramatic music)
- Where's my Ruby Rose?
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby come.
Ruby, oh.
- Looks like we finally
found you Mr. Jackson.
(Gloria crying)
(gentle upbeat music)
(birds chirping)
- Know where I can find the phone.
(woman screaming)
- There's a coffee shop around the corner.
Go, go, go, go.
(gentle upbeat music)
(door hinge creaking)
(gentle music)
- [Mr. Watts] Hey, you.
- Who me?
- It's okay, Joe.
Let him come over here.
- Hey, hey, what's the big idea?
- Did you have a phone?
I was just looking for a phone.
This nice gentleman called me over.
- [Mr. Watts] Yeah, he's okay.
- I don't want any trouble
outta you, you hear?
- No, you won't have any trouble outta me.
- He's okay.
Don't worry about him.
- You sure?
- He's good.
Stella, can you get this
man a cup of coffee?
- Coming right up, Mr. Watts.
(gentle music)
Here you go Mr. Watts, hot refill for you.
- Thank you so much, Stella.
(gentle upbeat music)
(cup banging)
(gentle upbeat music)
- Thank you.
- If you need anything else,
Mr. Watts, let me know.
- [Mr. Watts] I will.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- Oh that's hot.
- Tried to tell you.
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
- Andy.
No, no, go, go, go right ahead.
- Listen, Andrew, what's with the getup?
- The getup?
- The gown, the hospital gown.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Well, it's a, it's, it's
a rather long story.
- I like rather long stories.
- All right.
Guess if it'll get me a cell phone, fine.
It all started yesterday,
yesterday morning.
I got up to go for a hair
trim and a short drive.
And then the calamity of
unbelievable proportions
occurred to me.
- I just knew that guy was
trouble when he came in.
- And he smells.
(bell ringing)
(gentle music)
- What?
Are you kidding me?
At a funeral.
(bell ringing)
- Who found this place?
- I don't know, I think it was Homer.
- Homer.
- Greetings and salutations
to friends and family
of Andrew Jackson.
My name is Reverend Edwin Mumsford
from the House of the Divine Worship.
And first of all, I would like
to wish you all to come out
and visit us and pray with us.
We have two services on
Sunday, one on Wednesday.
And we would love to
have you in the house.
- [Both] Woo-woo.
- But we also have a spaghetti dinner
the first Thursday of every month.
It's delicious, you won't be disappointed.
And free garlic bread.
(birds chirping)
Now.
- Wow, just, wow.
That is an unbelievable story.
Highly unlikely, but I believe you.
Folks can be so cruel.
- You're telling me.
- You know what your problem is?
- What?
- You let people walk all over you.
That's what your problem is.
- No, you're wrong there.
- What'd you say?
- I said, I think you're right.
Maybe.
- You're darn right,
I'm right.
I'm always right.
Get up.
- What do you mean?
- I said, get up.
- [Joe] Everything all right, Watts?
- Yeah, Joe, everything's good.
- I'm telling you, that guy has trouble.
- What do you want me to do?
- All of the friends and family here,
when I'm finished, will have a chance
to come up to do a private meet and greet
with our dear beloved Andrew Jackson.
But first, I would like to thank
one of his dedicated workers,
Homer, for reaching out to me
and allowing me to be
part of the celebration
of Andrew's life.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Andy?
- The deceased.
- No, no, I'm Edwin not Andy.
- I know you're Edwin.
It's Andy.
- Andy
Andy's life.
Everyone please bow your
heads, close your eyes
and join me in a moment of silence.
(Edwin moaning)
Oh.
Keep, keep your heads bowed.
I can, I can feel, feel
Andy and Andrew's nearby.
His presence is very strong.
And it's almost as if he's with us.
- Where did you get these?
- I brought 'em with me?
- But why?
- I used to be a boxer and I miss it.
Now get your gloves up.
- Okay.
- Follow me.
Upper cut, upper cut,
hook,
right,
hook, upper cut.
Right here, peekaboo.
- Peekaboo.
- Left hook, peekaboo.
Left hook, peekaboo.
(both moaning)
Peekaboo, peekaboo, peekaboo.
- Stop. Mr. Watts.
Get ahold of yourself.
You don't wanna go back
to that awful place.
Step 12, Mr. Watts, step 12.
- You're right, step 12.
I don't want to go back.
You saved my life.
It's awful.
(gentle music)
(Andy moaning)
- I just wanted to use the phone.
- What did you do, Watts?
- I couldn't help myself.
(gentle music)
- Okay, you can now open your eyes.
Ah, I feel the presence of Andy.
Did you feel it?
Yes, I'm sure we all did.
Thank you all for coming out.
And we would love to see you
at the House of Divine Worship.
Homer has my phone number.
Thanks again, bye-bye.
(bell ringing)
(birds chirping)
- Hey, amigo, que pasa, are you okay?
- All right let's play.
(upbeat mariachi music)
- Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Oh, my head, my head.
Oh, my jaw, my eye.
- You don't look goods, senor.
(speaks in foreign language)
(all laughing)
- Hey, amigo, what is this you're wearing?
This, how do you say, this,
this, this getup clothing?
- What?
Oh, oh, well, it's a long story.
- I like long stories.
Let's play.
(upbeat mariachi music)
- Stop.
- What is it now, amigo?
You don't like the music?
- No, no, no, no.
I just need to get home to my wife.
Wife, wifey.
- Ah.
(speaks in foreign language)
Let's play.
(upbeat mariachi music)
- Stop please.
My head.
Where am I?
- What is it now, amigo,
is something bothering you?
- I'm just having a tough day.
Everybody seems to be
getting the best of me.
I don't think I can take it anymore.
- He can't take it anymore.
Let's play.
- What?
(upbeat mariachi music)
No, no, no, you don't understand.
- I tell you, senor, you need
to put on your big boy pants,
or whatever you like to wear,
and get out and conquer the world.
Let them know you are a jefe, the honcho.
- The honcho.
- Si senor, the boss.
- Ah.
My golly you're right.
- You have the eye of the tiger.
(upbeat mariachi music)
- And he goes, "Please don't
kill me, please don't kill me."
So what'd you do, did you kill him?
- What do you think?
I pled the fifth?
(all laughing)
- All right, come on, let's
go, let's play some cards.
- What am I gonna do
with these garbage cards
you're dealing me all day?
Who gave you this deck, my ex goomar?
- You got a problem with that?
- I just might, I just might.
- Forget about it.
- It's forgotten.
- Hey, are you in or you out?
How many cards you need?
- What do you want me
to do with these things?
Garbage, garbage, I fold.
(Andy laughing)
- You shouldn't have folded that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
(dramatic music)
Where did you come from?
- Who sent you?
- Who sent me?
Sent me?
Why do you say that?
- He came outta nowhere.
- Just like that, outta the blue.
- Did the boss send you?
- The boss?
- What are you, crazy?
Ain't you ever heard of Benny Bellino?
- Benny Bellino.
- Benny Bellino.
Nope, can't say that I have.
- You're in trouble.
- What did I do?
- Oh, let's take him to see the boss.
- The boss.
What, what, what?
- What's with the getup?
- Oh, come on.
(door closing)
- We have to make this quick.
I have to be in court here soon.
All right, and you are?
- I'm Mrs. Jackson.
- Ah, Jackson, that's right.
Jackson.
Susan, where's the Jackson file?
I need it,
it should be on my desk.
- I put it on the coffee table
over 30 minutes ago.
It has to be in there.
I even put it in a purple folder.
- Okay purple, purple.
Red, blue, blue.
Oh.
- Homer.
- [Homer] Hmm?
- This is not yours.
Give it back to the lady.
- Sir.
(gentle music)
Yeah, we're gonna need
to reprint some pages.
- Sorry, Ms. Jackson.
- I'll be right over here if you need me.
- Thanks Susan.
Ugh.
We are here to read the
last will and testament
of Mr. Andrew Jackson.
- [Gloria] Andy.
- Andy.
(dramatic music)
- Somebody take his blindfold off.
I wanna see what I'm looking at.
(dramatic music)
So, would you make a mistake,
thought it was Halloween.
So tell me, who are you, what's your name?
- Uh Andy.
- Andy.
- Take a seat boss.
- Well, Andrew, so who sent you?
- Nobody sent me.
- Nobody sent you.
You know what's good for you,
you'll answer the question.
- Well, it's a long story.
- A long story.
Well, I got a story for you.
(dramatic music)
See I got a lot on my mind today,
and I'm very hungry.
And Roberto made some
nice meatballs for me.
But they're probably cold now.
And when I get cold
meatballs, I get very angry.
So I'm gonna ask you again,
who sent you?
- Like, like I said, nobody sent me.
(dramatic music)
- Rocky, this guy's a problem.
And I think he's holding
back on telling us stuff.
(dramatic music)
- Listen, listen,
I can only hold back
Mr. Bellino for so long.
You better start talking.
- I don't know anything.
I just want to go home.
- You wanna go home?
He wants to go home.
Oh, he wants to go home.
Gimme that broom.
Who was it, sent you, the Bambino family?
They're fierce fighters you know.
- Bambino family?
- Yeah, the Bambino family, yeah.
The Bambino family.
Is that who set you?
- Yes.
Yes, it was the Bambino family.
- I should just grab you
and ring his freaking neck.
- Step 12, boss,
step 12.
- Step 12.
I don't wanna hear this step 12 anymore.
- Easy boss.
- Step 12.
I'm not going back to that place.
I know how it is.
I wouldn't wish that to my worst enemy.
Even him.
(gentle upbeat music)
Step 12.
(gentle upbeat music)
The heck with step 12.
(dramatic music)
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Get your hands of him now.
- Who is this guy?
- I have no idea.
- Anderson, Conan, pat them
down and get them outta here.
(dramatic music)
- What's going on?
- Bellino, you're coming with me.
- What do you mean, I'm coming with you?
What's going on here?
- Come with me.
- Why don't you take him?
(dramatic music)
(van doors closing)
Maybe we can work something out, you know.
I'll give you all the money you
want for you and your family
for the rest of your life.
- Mr. Bellino.
- I respect
what you're doing, but.
- My family
has everything we need.
(dramatic music)
Oh, it's gonna be all right Mr. Bellino.
- Yeah, that's what you say.
Step 12.
- Watch your head.
- I hate this place.
- Watch your head.
There you go.
- I'm not staying there long,
I'll tell you right now.
- Well then do good.
Watch your hands.
- I don't wanna go.
(car door closing)
(dramatic music)
(both laughing)
- Oh, yo, homie.
- Hey,
will you pass me a wrench.
- Homie, you talking to me.
I'm a little busy right now,
get your own wrench, this is mine.
- Ms. Jackson.
- Ms. Jackson.
(people speaking indistinctly)
- Hi.
- Hey man, you made me drop my cookie.
Look what you just did.
- What I made you do?
You bumped into me.
- No I didn't.
- Oh, yes you did.
- And you're gonna pay for that old man.
- Oh, you and what army?
- Ladies.
(both moaning)
- No.
- Yeah.
(all applauding)
- I didn't do anything.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't didn't do it.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- What, we got half a shift to go still?
- Late night?
- Poker night.
- How'd you make out?
- Don't ask.
I lost a hundred.
- Ouch.
- [Romero] Tell me about it.
You know what I'm saying?
- [Officer] Yeah, it
could always been worse.
- Really?
- Could've been me.
- Oh, funny guy.
I tell you what, lend me 50.
Come on, I got a gun on you.
Stick 'em up.
- Yeah nice try.
- Officer, officer, hurry
there's a gang fight.
Hurry I need you.
Come on.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
A gang fight?
- A gang fight.
- Yeah okay.
Show me where.
- Hurry, come on they're gonna die.
Okay.
- Should I call back up?
- No, we're in Disneyland.
- [Andy] I didn't do anything.
I didn't do it, ow, ow, ow.
- Okay, just stand over there.
Okay, okay, okay, what happened?
Someone talked to me.
(people speaking indistinctly)
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
one at a time, please.
Who saw something?
Talk to me.
- I saw the whole thing.
- That's right, yeah, yeah, she was here.
- That's right.
- She's a hero.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- She's a hero.
- What's happening?
I don't understand it.
- Well, thank you very much.
We'll take it from here.
Everybody can just move on
down, brother, move on down.
Thank you, sir, thank you very much.
- Move it along, let's go.
- Told you
you'd pay for this.
- Let's go.
- [Julie] See, this is what you get.
- [Andy] Ow.
- You want, you wanna take care of that?
Come here young lady.
- You could turn around,
but I want you to stand right there.
- That's quite an outfit you got there?
You a black belt or something?
- Yes sir.
- Wow, that's impressive.
- Thank you, sir.
- What's your name?
- I'm Julie.
- Julie, I'm Officer Romero.
- Yes, officer.
Nice to meet you.
- It's a pleasure, yeah.
So I'm not sure what happened,
but I think you did a great job.
- Thank you, sir.
- And,
I don't know, maybe a medal.
- A medal?
She roughed me up.
She she karated me.
- Right.
Okay, listen, thank you so much.
It was a pleasure.
And let me just, I'll
talk to you later okay.
- Thank you, officer.
- Namaste.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I, what, what, what, what?
But what about her?
- Yeah, tell it to the judge.
- I didn't do anything.
- Sure you didn't.
No one does.
We're all innocent right.
- I am innocent.
- Yeah I know.
- She hit me, bunch of chopping.
- Okay you, what's with the getup?
- Getup, what getup?
- The gown, the hospital gown.
Are you homeless or something?
- Home, home, home,
home, home.
- Look at his eye.
- Home.
(Romero laughing)
- The karate girl, she did
a real number on him huh?
Did you fall guy?
- Huh?
- You have a name, a place to go?
- Where's your clothes?
- Hey, hey, hey, hello.
We're talking to you.
- He's not looking too good.
- Let's take him to Pera Med Centre.
They might be able to help him up.
- What do do you say fella,
you wanna go on a nice
little ride with us?
- Huggins frisk him.
- What?
- Shake him down, he might have weapons.
- He don't have enough clothes
on to hide any weapons.
- Huggins, just go ahead and frisk him.
- You frisk him.
I got the last guy.
It's your turn.
- My turn?
I didn't know we were taking turns.
- It's a perfect time to start.
- Let's just put him in.
I won't log anything if you don't, deal?
- Deal.
- We never should have stopped.
- You got that right?
- Let's go.
Put your hands behind your back.
We're going for a little ride.
Wanna meet some nice people?
- Yeah, come.
(dramatic music)
(door knocking)
(dramatic music)
These nice people, they're
gonna take good care of you.
Come on.
Here you go, nice and, there you go.
- Come on, sir.
- There you go, yeah.
Ice cream, you like ice cream?
You like puppy dogs?
There you go, take him.
You're buying?
Yeah, it's on you, yeah.
(dramatic music)
- Come on you.
Let's get this guy checked in.
Hey, I'll be right back.
Don't you go nowhere.
(gentle music)
- [Nurse] Welcome to your happy place.
(heart machine beeping)
- You better be real careful in here.
I was 6'1" when he brought me in.
Now look at me.
(heart machine beeping)
(dramatic music)
- Come on you.
(dramatic music)
- So do you think with
everything that happens,
she's gonna do good?
- Yeah.
- Sure, we'll keep her.
- Oh, Dr. Joseph.
- Hey, hey.
- How was your vacation?
- Great, great, thanks.
Hey, can you sign these
forms for me, please?
- All of these?
- Yes, you know, things kind
of piled up while I was out.
- Yeah stuff's been crazy around here.
- Yeah, I've heard.
- Almost done.
All right, all done.
- Great, then, congrats.
- Oh, thank you.
I already heard the good news.
(dramatic music)
(heart machine beeping)
(gentle music)
(tow driver laughing)
(gentle music)
(tow driver crying)
- Mr. Hackson.
Mr. Hackson.
- Oh.
- We thought you were dead.
- What are you?
Huh?
Hey.
Hey, you're that food guy
that delivers food to Homer.
- Si Homero?
(Roberto laughing)
That's right.
- Well, what are you doing here?
- Oh, too many tickets senor.
The judge, I don't think he likes me.
I made him mad.
But he should be in here with me.
- How long can they keep us in this place?
- Indefinitely.
Indefinitely.
Or until you feel happy again.
- Can they do that?
- You're here, aren't you?
- She is Mrs. Hackson.
- Aha.
- You are Mr. Hackson.
- Mr. Hackson.
- Si.
- Okay.
- I am Roberto.
- Aha.
- I know who is he?
- Who is he?
- I know who is he?
- Oh, here, what?
- And I know Who is you? Mr. Hackson.
- Oh, oh.
- And oh, they had a
beautiful funeral for you.
- What?
- But I didn't get invited.
- What do you mean, they
had a funeral for me?
- Shut up.
Can you two just shut up.
- But they had a funeral for me.
- You shut up, pal.
I'm trying to talk to my friend.
- I'm not your pal.
- Hey, hey.
- Come over here.
- I know you.
- What?
Oh no, not you again.
- I've got something for you Mr. Jackson.
- No, oh no, wait, wait, what
do you got, what do you got?
(all moaning)
Oh God, I promise, I promise
if you get me out of here,
if you get me home, I'll be,
I'll be good with the boys.
I'll be happy with Homer.
I'll be pleased with the wife.
Even Ruby Rose.
I'll be smooth as glass.
Just, just no angst Andy, if
you just get me outta here.
Oh, please, please, please,
please, please, please, please.
Oh, please, please, please, please
let me smell some oil.
(gentle music)
(wind gushing)
(gentle music)
(wind gushing)
(wind chimes clanking)
(gentle music)
(door knocking)
(gentle upbeat guitar music)
Honey, it's good to be home.
- What?
Oh.
- Golly Mr. Jackson, is that really you?
That's a neat magic trick.
Do it again.
- Help me Get her on the couch, Homer.
Oh, he's easy, easy, oh there
she goes, there she goes.
- Homer, Homer.
- Ms. Jackson look, it's Mr. Jackson.
See, ain't he magic.
- Oh, is that really you?
- Oh but,
but we thought you were.
- I know, I know, I know, I
know, nevermind, nevermind.
Don't worry about it.
You just don't try to speak.
Just catch a breath.
It's a very long story.
You want to hear it?
- First, take a shower
and shave that thing.
Is it alive?
It just, it is disgusting.
And oh God you smell.
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, where are you?
Ruby?
Come here sweetie.
(gentle music)
(Andy exhaling)
(toilet flushing)
- Homer, what are you
doing in our bathroom?
- Golly, the one of the
shop is still broken.
- Well, okay, this make
sure you work on it tomorrow
and get it fixed.
- Okay daddy, I will.
- Good night.
Wait.
(gentle music)
Oh, wait what?
Daddy?
What's someone we're talking about?
- What is it honey?
What's bothering you?
- Homer just called me daddy.
And he was holding a monkey.
Which means I'm just
having another nightmare.
Oh, it's just a bad dream.
Goodnight dear.
- No, no, you are not dreaming.
Can't you remember anything?
(gentle music)
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, that's right.
We adopted Homer.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Shh, don't wake Ruby Rose.
Ah.
- Adopted?
(gentle music)
- [Andy Voiceover] Well
I always wanted a son.
(gentle upbeat music)
(gentle upbeat music continues)
Time wise, what you got on me
It's not fair that you set me free
You know that I got all
the time in the world
Trying to tell me
something that already knew
(gentle upbeat music)
Likewise, I've been down on my knees
Begging for someone to please
come and put my mind at ease
I tried calling but
I'm not getting through
Destiny, where have you been
Destiny, where are you going my friend
Destiny, I've been looking for you
You trying to dodge another boyfriend
He's fewer
(gentle upbeat music)
You know we were meant for each other
Even though we fought through
all that nasty weather
Armour, cloud shaded our get together
It's gonna rain
Take the high road and take cover
Stand on top and take
off all the pressure
Hurry before I surrender
Never again will I be a pretender
I keep trying 'cause I tried and true
Destiny, where have you been
Destiny, where are you going my friend
Destiny, I've been looking for you
I tried calling but
I'm not getting through
(gentle upbeat music)
No I'm not getting through no
(gentle upbeat music)
Destiny, where have you been
Destiny, where are you going my friend
Destiny, I've been looking for you
I tried calling but
I'm not getting through
Destiny, where do we go from here
Squeeze me tight,
I've got one less tear
Pull those strings like some puppeteer
I'm tired of hanging
and I'm tired and blue
Destiny, I've been looking for you
Always asking I got nothing to prove
Destiny, I've been looking for you
I tried calling but
I'm not getting through
No I'm not getting through
(gentle upbeat music)
To you
(gentle upbeat music)
I fell in love with the cowboy
I thought he was second to none
(gentle upbeat music)
I believed every single word
That rolled off his silver tongue
He could rope and he could ride
(gentle upbeat music)
He broke horses and hearts
(gentle upbeat music)
But he made one big mistake
When he tore my world apart
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
I just want him gone
(gentle upbeat music)
The same station that dirt he's used
On Yellowstone
(gentle upbeat music)
I caught him cheating too many times
Like cowboys do
I'm going take them
to the train station
Before this day is through
I'm gonna buy him a one way ticket
I gotta let him go
(gentle upbeat music)
Where he lands tomorrow
Only the devil knows
(gentle upbeat music)
Yeah, I know he's not coming back
Though I wish him well
(gentle upbeat music)
It's a long way down the track
And sometimes straight through hell
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
I just want him gone
The same station that
the dirt he's used
On Yellowstone
I caught him cheating too many times
Like cowboys do
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
Before this day is through
Roll on, train roll on
(gentle upbeat music)
Rolling down the
hill, he's almost gone
(gentle upbeat music)
Yeah, drifters paying
wagers like a song
(gentle upbeat music)
So roll on, roll on
Roll on, roll on
(gentle upbeat music)
Yeah I'm gonna take him
to the train station
I just want him gone
(gentle upbeat music)
The same station that dirt he's used
(gentle music)
I caught him cheating too many times
Like cowboys do
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
Before this day is through
(gentle upbeat music)
I'm gonna take him
to the train station
Before this day is through
(gentle upbeat music)