On the Riviera (1951) Movie Script

Aha! You like it?
Well, everybody join with me.
We sing together, huh?
- Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
You want more? You do?
Well, aren't you wonderful?
Wait. Don't go away.
I'll be right ba-
I'll be right back
with the luscious Colette.
Boy, it's a great audience.
Best yet.
- They love you.
- And what about you?
- I love you too.
- Well, give me a kiss.
- No. Turn around.
- Not till you give me a kiss. Okay.
- You know something?
- What?
Gapeaux will be moving us
up to the Terrace Room soon. The big show.
- He's crazy if he doesn't.
- Don't say that. He is crazy.
- Hurry up. Come on.
- All right. Thank you.
Come. Duran is landing any minute.
We've got Nice on the television. Come on!
Oh, it's Duran!
Come on. Come with me.
Duran is landing. Come with me.
- Okay. Ready?
- Wait a second, lassie.
- There is a wee spot on my kilt here.
- Well, I'll fix that.
Stop it! You tickle.
- Hey, we're on.
Watch it, Mac.
- What-
Hey! Wait a minute.
What's going on in there?
- It is Duran. He's landing.
- Duran! Let's go and see!
Huge crowds have gathered
to welcome the nation's hero...
Capitaine Henri Duran.
Not since the arrival
of Lindbergh...
has a flight created
so much excitement.
When his magnificent plane,
the Victory, touches the ground...
he will have broken the round-the-world
nonstop flight record...
by more than 12 hours,
a great, great achievement.
You can feel the mounting
tension of the crowd.
Is he gonna land in all that fog?
Jack, don't be so vain.
Put on your glasses so you can see something.
- Ah, it is he!
The Victory is coming in!
Just listen to that crowd roar!
And now, on the platform,
the distinguished committee of high officials...
waits to receive
the great capitaine.
Even the air minister is here
to pay him honor.
In just a moment now,
Capitaine Duran will appear.
He has been at the controls
for more than two days...
and, without sleep,
he must be exhausted.
- Bravo!
The first to greet the capitaine...
are Philippe Labrix
and Louis Forel...
his associates in the manufacture
of these magnificent planes.
We have been told that Air Europa
has given them a contract for 50 of them.
Hey, Colette. Doesn't he look familiar to you?
Kind of like somebody we know?
- Mmm-
- Huh? Huh?
You know, he looks much like you!
That's what I thought, too,
except I didn't want to be the one to say it.
- Good-looking chap, isn't he?
Aha! Here is Madame Duran...
the beautiful wife of the capitaine.
Oh, no, no. Sorry.
That is not Madame Duran.
It is Elena Petrovna,
the ballet dancer.
Ah, now we have Madame Duran.
A situation, no?
No. No, sorry again.
That is Marilyn Turner,
the American movie star.
Wait, wait! Let us hope that this
is Madame Duran!
Ah, oh, yes. There is no doubt.
This is really Madame Duran.
What a giant among men.
Capitaine Duran. Capitaine, please.
Would you kindly say a few words
to the television audience?
- Congratulations, Capitaine!
- Did you have any trouble, Capitaine?
- What did you think about while
you were making this flight?
- Will you give us a statement?
- I would be delighted.
- The whole world is waiting to hear you.
My dear friends,
thank you very much.
I am deeply moved
by this demonstration.
I, uh- I would like to say more,
but I'm sure you will excuse me.
I am really so very tired.
All I would like now
is a bottle of champagne, and after that...
I would like
to go to bed for a week.
Who will join me in cheering my brave comrades
who have made this achievement possible?
- Bravo.
- Bravo!
- How can he?
- What?
Look at other women.
His wife is so beautiful.
Boy, look at those eyes. Those-
Now, come on, you. Back to work.
I've got those too.
I've got beautiful eyes.
This concludes our broadcast brought to you...
from the Nice Airport.
We now return you to the studio.
I sure hate to follow that guy.
He's terrific, isn't he?
- Oh, Jack.
- Yes?
- Monsieur Gapeaux- he wants to see you.
- He does?
- Uh-huh.
- I'll be right with him. Thank you, Andre.
- Right.
- Did you hear that? Gapeaux wants to see me.
Here we go, baby,
up to the Terrace Room and a raise.
- I do not like it.
- Why not?
- Because when you want to see him, that's a raise.
- Yeah?
But when he wants to see you,
I don't like it.
Ah, do not fret, my bonny lassie.
The clan MacMartin
has never lost a battle yet.
No! Saturday night, you are through.
Through? But I don't get it. Why?
Because I no longer
find you amusing.
That's just a matter of personal taste.
I don't happen to like olives.
- The audience loved me.
- I do not care about the audience!
- It is what I like that matters.
- But business is great!
Oh, please do not argue,
Monsieur Martin.
I've seen everything you do,
and I'm bored.
After all, I have to live too.
Look, Monsieur Gapeaux,
I can give you something new.
I've got a lot of
other things I can do.
If you can do something sensational,
I might reconsider.
In the meantime, Saturday night,
you are through.
Well, thank you very much.
- Sensational, huh?
- And it better be better than you are doing now!
- Something sensational, huh?
Yeah, sure.
Any little thing will do, just so he likes it.
Who cares what he likes?
Who tells him to watch?
- He owns the place.
- Oh!
Look, let's not argue,
will you, sweetie? Let's just think.
Wait a minute. Maybe this will go.
Ah! I'm mortified!
Nothin', huh?
Well, I don't know.
I just don't know.
I- Wait a minute.
Who is that?
Never mind.
- You really think I look like him?
- Who?
- Duran.
- What has that to do with this?
Nothin'. Nothin'.
I was just lookin'.
- Well, you look like him, but you do not, uh-
- Do not what?
Well, it's just that you do not.
I mean, you see, when you look at Duran,
something happens to you.
- Yeah.
- And when I look at you-
Fine. I suppose if Duran walked in here now,
you'd run off with him and leave me flat.
No, Jack, I wouldn't leave you flat.
- I'm in love with you.
- Mmm.
But everyone is
in love with Duran...
and I'm the only one
in love with you.
- You see? That's the difference.
- Oh.
- No savoir faire, huh?
- No savoir faire.
Oh, well, that's just an act
like anything else is.
He happens to be
the big hero at the moment, a great lover.
- You know something?
- What?
- I could have what
he's got just like that.
I'll show you.
It's very simple. Watch.
Capitaine, I trust
you find this table satisfactory?
- Quite. Thank you very much, Gapeaux.
- Oh, not at all.
- Madame?
- Thank you.
et messieurs...
we take great pleasure...
in presenting...
to you...
Monsieur Jack Martin...
in his impersonation of...
the one and only
Capitaine Henri Duran!
- Duran!
- Ahh!
My dear friends-
Mimi, Fifi...
and Celia.
I don't recall your face...
but I'd like to be familiar.
It's uncanny.
You should at least
pretend to be amused, my dear.
Oh, it is amusing, Henri,
and very enlightening.
Eeh! Oh, oh. Eeh!
Oh, oh!
Eeh! Oh, eeh! Oh, eeh, oh! Oh!
- Oh, good, good!
- What about Duran? Is he applauding?
With his hands, yes,
but with his face, I don't know.
- Oh.
- Go ahead. Come on.
- Capitaine, I do hope you were not offended.
- On the contrary.
We found it terribly amusing.
Didn't we, my dear?
Oh, terribly.
I should like to go back
and meet Jack Martin.
But of course!
He would be delighted.
- Would you excuse me, my dear?
- This is quite refreshing.
- What?
- Your going backstage to see a man.
Hmm. I won't be very long.
Don't worry about us, Henri.
We'll either be here or in the bar.
- Excuse me.
Please, his dressing room
is just downstairs.
- Monsieur Gapeaux.
- Yes?
You must come at once.
The magician had a terrible fight with his wife.
- She ran off with his rabbit.
- Oh!
Will you excuse me, Capitaine?
This is very sad.
- You see, he loves that rabbit. Quick.
- Right here.
- Eugenie!
- Henri!
My little souffl!
It's been such a long time.
Two years!
Yes. And still
the souffl has not fallen.
- Oh, Henri. I must go now. You will call me?
- Yes. Same number?
- And if a man answers?
- That is my husband. He will take the message.
- Very touching! Souffl, huh?
- I beg your pardon?
You no-good two-face.
The minute you think my back is turned-
you are making a mistake.
- I'm not the one who makes mistakes.
- But this time you are.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Capitaine Henri Duran at your service.
Capitaine Henri Duran!
Do you expect me to believe-
You see, the mustache is real.
It's incredible!
Oh, you've come to see Jack.
You're angry with him.
- You do not wish me to be angry with him?
- Please, no.
Ah. I take it you are
interested in him.
Very much.
Mademoiselle, you should not
be interested in imitations.
You have too much to offer yourself.
A beautiful girl like you
should have the real thing.
Capitaine Duran,
are you making love to me?
But of course. What are you doing,
my dear, after the show?
- I have a previous engagement.
Perhaps I could, uh,
persuade you to break it?
You probably could,
but I'm not going to let you.
- Tomorrow night?
- No.
Well, then perhaps
you will come to my villa Saturday evening.
- Certainly not!
- You misunderstand, my dear.
We're having a large reception,
and the house will be filled with people.
Capitaine Duran,
that's a very old one.
I come, and all the other
guests have failed to show up, eh?
Oh, it is my misfortune
that they all will be there.
But please come anyway.
- Here's my card.
- Henri!
- Henri, this telegram- Read it. It is urgent.
- Yes. Just a moment.
- You will come?
- I will think about it.
- Good.
- Good night, Capitaine.
- Good night.
- Will you excuse me?
Antoine just brought it over.
Read it, Henri.
- For heaven's sake, read it!
- Calm yourself, Philippe.
"Regret to advise
Air Europa unable to execute contract...
"for purchase of Victory planes...
"pending further tests.
- Periton."
- He's only fooling, yes?
- I wish he were, Philippe.
- Why should Periton do this? He needs our planes.
Periton is playing a game.
He knows I'm overextended at the bank
and need money desperately.
- If he delays signing the contract, we are ruined.
- Oh!
He will buy our company
for a song and make the planes himself.
- He cannot do this. It would finish us.
- Definitely.
Unless- Unless I can raise
the money from someone else.
- But who?
- Monsieur Alonzo.
Yes! He always liked me.
But suppose he does not give us the money.
Henri, let's take
what we can and fly to South America.
Stop trembling, Philippe. If you look like that,
no one will give us a penny.
Pull yourself together. If one word of this leaks out,
we are ruined, all finished!
Now, come. I will telephone Monsieur Alonzo
for an appointment immediately.
- Thank you, madame.
- You're quite welcome.
What about the impersonation?
Did you like that too?
Well, you're enormously
successful, monsieur.
- Why should my opinion make any difference?
- But it does.
- It's the only opinion that counts.
- Lili, we must be going.
- Henri will be waiting.
- Sit down, Louis.
- Mine is the only opinion that matters?
- That's right.
And if I didn't like
your impersonation...
would you stop doing it?
- Well, I don't know.
- Oh, don't be frightened, Monsieur Martin.
I'm not going to suggest
that you drop it.
What about the captain?
Did he like it?
Oh, yes, very much.
He's backstage at this
very moment, seeing you.
I know. That's why I came in here.
Tell me something, monsieur.
I'm very curious.
When you do these impersonations,
how do you go about it?
Do you make a study of your victim?
Well, as much as I can. It's something
that comes to me kind of easy, I guess.
Well, as much as I can. It's something
that comes to me kind of easy, I guess.
I try to mimic
his way of speaking, his mannerisms.
You know, sort of put myself
in his shoes.
Like, uh-
Madame, you are very beautiful.
This actor, this Jack Martin...
has never met
a woman like you before.
It will go to his head, like wine.
Yes, monsieur. You do do it easily.
- I suppose you could even do an impression of me.
- No, madame.
To capture you, I would have to reach up
for some stars...
seek the petals of a white rose...
the blue of the sky
over the Mediterranean...
- the sadness that I see in-
- Sadness?
Yes. The sadness that I -
Forgive me, madame.
When I do Captain Duran,
I get carried away. It's a wonderful part.
If I may say so, monsieur,
you have brought something to it...
that I don't think
you saw in the original.
Thank you.
- Now, if you'll excuse us,
I think we'd better get back.
- I should think so.
- Good night, Monsieur Martin.
- Good night.
I hope I've given you some new ideas to use
as Capitaine Duran.
You've given me some new ideas to use
as Jack Martin.
- Good night.
- Good night.
"New ideas", huh?
Dropped this, sweetie.
Oh, Jack, darling! This is gorgeous!
What? Oh, wait a minute.
That belongs to Madame Duran.
- Is that so?
- Hey, Colette!
Glorious day.
Such beautiful girls.
I hope Henri gets the money.
Ah, yes, Louis, you are in trouble.
Today you are a rich, fat man.
Tomorrow you'll be only a fat man.
- Periton!
- Stop thinking about Periton.
Thinking about him?
I see him, there, with Lili!
- What is he doing here?
- He's down here for the kill, no doubt.
Let's find out. Come on.
Stop looking like that. Smile!
- Hmm?
- Smile!
Forgive me. Oh, gentlemen.
- I'm delighted to see you.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- We thought you were in Paris.
- Yes. What brings you here?
- What brings anyone here?
- Climate, beautiful girls-
and, uh, business.
Uh, business?
Yes. I always mix business
with pleasure.
That way my opponents
never know what I'm up to.
I must be going, my dear.
I'll see you this evening.
My best to Henri.
Tell him not to worry.
I shall not forget our long friendship.
I'll try to make things
as easy for him as possible.
Good-bye. Good-bye, gentlemen.
- Good-bye, Felix.
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
- What did he mean by that?
He says Henri needs money.
He seems to think
he's taking over the airplane company.
- Is that true?
- Yes, too true. He has found out everything.
- We'd better tell Henri right away.
- He's at home.
- I'll drive.
- Good.
I invited Felix to the reception this evening
before I knew all this.
- Perhaps I should make some excuse-
- No, you cannot do that.
- Let him come. Then Henri can talk to him.
- Yes, Henri will save us.
- He's the only one who can.
- Yes, Henri.
And for heaven's sake,
take that foolish smile off your face!
- But you told me to!
- Oh!
- Madame. Oh, madame-
- Excuse us, Lili.
The florist, madame. He'd like to see you about
the table arrangements.
- He's on the terrace.
- Thank you, Antoine.
- Antoine! Antoine!
- Yes, monsieur?
- Capitaine Duran- he's not here.
- No, monsieur. He's gone.
- Gone?
- Where?
He did not say, monsieur,
and I never ask. However, he carried a valise.
- Thank you, Antoine. Now, why would he-
- Carry a valise?
- I do not know.
- Neither do I.
- Do you think he has-
- Gone to Paris?
- I do not know.
- Neither do I.
Well, he must have been
in a very big hurry. Look at his desk.
- I've never seen it like that before.
- Look! A note.
It is addressed to both of us.
In Henri's handwriting.
- You don't suppose-
- Do not start supposing. Read it, Philippe. Read it.
"Dear friends, I failed last night
to get the money from Alonzo.
Our dear friend Periton seems
to have reached him first."
I knew it. I knew it.
"There is only one hope left-
Sir Hubert Canon.
"I'm flying to London to see him.
If I do not succeed,
you may never see me again."
He's going to kill himself!
"Don't worry.
I'm not going to kill myself.
"I must succeed. But be certain to say nothing
of this to anyone.
If word gets back to Periton,
we are ruined."
"Back to Periton." He's here!
I know, I know.
I- Sir Hubert Canon. Yes, he might.
Louis, we are lost! Completely lost!
- What now?
- The reception tonight!
Lili invited Periton.
If he finds out that Henri is not here-
- He will know that he has gone to London.
- Exactly! We must see Lili.
- At once.
- At once.
- There is but one thing to do. Lili must-
- Call off the reception.
- No, that would be even-
- Worse.
- But she must make some-
- Could I see Madame Duran?
- May I tell madame who's calling?
- Oh, sure.
- Tell her Jack Martin.
- Who?
Jack Martin.
She left her cigarette case
at the Cote d'Azur. I'd like to return it.
- I will see that madame gets it.
- Well, I'd kind of like to give it to her myself.
- I had a pretty tough time getting this back.
- Very well.
- There's the actor.
- The one who impersonated Henri.
- Are you thinking-
- What I am thinking?
- Will it work?
- What have we got to lose?
It will be simple, monsieur.
You just act gracious and charming.
- I don't know.
- We will be right beside you.
- We will not leave you for a moment.
- There. A perfect fit.
- Like it was made for you.
- And think, monsieur.
Half a million francs
for one night's work.
- All right. I'll do it.
- Wonderful!
On two conditions. First, that I get half
the money in advance.
- Yes, yes!
- Agreed.
And second, Madame Duran is not to know
I'm impersonating her husband.
- That is impossible.
- We will have to tell her.
- I'm sorry, gentlemen. Those are my conditions.
- No, wait.
- Why not tell her?
- Because I'd get stage fright, that's why.
I couldn't give a good performance
if I thought she was laughing at me.
I just couldn't go through
with it if she knew.
- If we must agree-
- We must.
- That I insist upon. Okay?
- Okay.
- Okay. You got a deal.
- There are certain things you should know.
- Like what?
- Your wife's name is Lili.
Oh, yes, I know. Lili.
- That's a lovely name, isn't it?
- The butler is Antoine.
The gardener's name is Emile.
- Your chef is Monsieur Popoliniere.
- Who?
- Popoliniere.
- Popoliniere?
Yes. Your pilot's name is Georges.
Your wife's maid is Michele.
- Michele.
- She is rather pretty and a trifle forward.
Forward? How far forward?
You joke with her occasionally.
Sometimes you pinch her cheek.
- Her, uh, cheek.
- Cheek.
- Can you remember all that?
- What, learn a few names?
Gentlemen, that's my business.
I'm supposed to be an actor.
My name is Henri.
My wife is Lili.
You are Philippe and Louis.
The butler's Antoine.
The gardener is Emile.
The chef is Monsieur... Popoliniere.
- Good!
- The maid is Michele. I joke with her.
- And occasionally I pinch her cheek.
- Cheek.
Bravo. Bravo.
Hey, about this Felix, this Periton-
- You'll point him out to me?
- The moment he arrives.
- Ah, and what do I say to him?
- Nothing!
- You must say nothing.
- Nothing?
What am I supposed to do,
stand around with egg on my face?
- I have it. Henri has a trick.
- Oh, good.
When he does not understand something
or does not wish to answer...
he taps his fingertips together so, looks down
his nose and says, "Hmm."
You see the beauty of it? He says nothing.
He commits himself to nothing.
He does not understand a word,
but he looks very wise.
Hmm. Say, that's
a pretty good piece of business.
- I think I may be able to use that in my act.
- Yes, you could.
- No. That is not a closet. That leads to Lili's room.
- Oh, really?
- One moment, monsieur.
- Oh, monsieur.
You and your wife are
on very formal terms.
- Very formal.
- You're kidding.
- What's the matter with him?
- Nothing.
- Doesn't she like him?
- She's crazy for him.
- Well?
- To Henri, the grass is always greener-
- The sky is always bluer-
- The tomatoes are always juicier-
In somebody else's garden.
You understand, monsieur.
- Hmm.
- Good! Good!
- Albert will take you to your table.
- We will see you out there?
- Fine.
- Please, Lili, please!
Our whole future depends on it.
No. Of course I won't.
It's ridiculous!
- Just for these few hours!
- But why should I pretend that I don't know?
Because this actor, this Martin,
insists upon it.
Don't you see, Lili? If he thinks
you don't suspect, it will give him-
Confidence! Make him feel that he
really is Henri.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
- Lili, you have nothing to fear.
We have explained that you and Henri
are on very formal terms.
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
As soon as the party is over,
he is to go home. He understands that.
If he does not go, we will not pay him
the other half of the money.
No! It's impossible. Ah, Suzanne!
- Good evening. How are you?
- Ah, Pierre.
- Good evening, Capitaine.
- Good evening, uh, Michele.
- Oh, Michele.
- Yes, Capitaine?
Thank you, Capitaine.
- Not at all, my dear.
It's my pleasure.
Please, Lili, if you refuse,
it means the end.
- Oh!
- Oh, Lili, you are young and beautiful.
- But Louis and I, we are old-
- And broken.
- Shh.
- Good evening, my dear.
- Good evening, Henri.
I, uh, trust the arrangements for tonight
have been managed...
without too much difficulty for you.
So far everything seems
to be proceeding nicely.
Good, good.
The champagne is properly iced
and the birds are properly cooked?
I basted them myself.
Hmm. I am looking forward
to a wonderful party this evening.
What entertainment
have you planned for our guests, Lili?
- Entertainment?
- Yes.
I did have a dreadful disappointment.
I meant to tell you about it earlier.
Really? What is it, my dear?
Well, I tried to get that, um-
that performer that they have at the Cote d'Azur.
- What's his name again?
- Oh, Jack- [ French Accent ]
Uh, Jack Martin?
Yes, yes. That's the one.
Yes, he's very good. I liked him.
Yes, I thought you did.
That's why I tried to get him, of course.
I'm sure if he had known you wanted him,
he would have been delighted to come to you.
- Do you really think so, Henri?
- I am positive.
Uh, shall we dance?
Why, Henri, I thought
you detested dancing.
I do? Oh, I do.
I do, but, uh, anything
to be near you, my dear.
- How nice.
- Not at all.
- Well, so far, so good.
- Yes. Yes.
What are we so happy about?
Who has he fooled? She knows who he is.
- But he does not know that she knows, so-
- So she has fooled him.
Lili, this is a lovely party.
I must compliment you, my dear.
Why, Henri, you have changed.
- Have I?
- Yes.
Once you would have said to me,
"Parties are so dull.
Let's run away from all our guests,
just you and I, and-"
- And what?
- Henri!
- Come in!
- Where is Jack?
Don't talk to me about Jack!
I hate him!
But where is he?
He's not in his dressing room.
Monsieur Gapeaux,
what's wrong with me?
Nothing! Nothing shows.
That's it! Nothing shows.
Well, I'll fix that!
But you haven't answered me.
Where is Monsieur Martin?
He's not going to be here tonight.
- He sent word that he's indisposed.
- Indisposed?
- Oh!
- But the broadcast- the television broadcast!
- I've made all the arrangements.
- Television?
What are you talking about?
Jack is such a success, the television
people want to put him on the air tonight...
and I said yes.
- Now, where is he?
- You find out and tell me!
I'll go there and break his head!
If he does not show up tonight,
he is through!
He will never work in another nightclub
in France, on the continent.
I have friends. I will finish him!
- Now tell me nothing shows.
- Oh!
- We will put you on the television.
- No.
But you will be a sensation.
With that neckline, you will be
the Faye Emerson of France.
- I said no.
- Where are you going that you got so undressed?
To the villa
of Capitaine Henri Duran.
My dear Jack is going to find out he's not
the only one who can get himself "indisposed."
Madame Charlier
looks lovely this evening, doesn't she?
- Madame Charlier?
- Yes, the woman over there
wearing the diamond choker.
- Oh.
- Why, Henri, since when
have you been wearing glasses?
Glasses? Uh, glass- Oh!
Uh, since the flight.
Yes, since the flight.
We were flying over the polar cap,
and the glare was blinding.
- Absolutely blinding.
- Oh.
These are the price
of adventure, my dear.
- Oh, Louise. How nice to see you.
- Lili, darling.
- Henri.
- Charmed, madame, I'm sure.
Isn't he formal tonight?
You old fox. Don't you remember Antibes?
Uh, oh, yes, of course.
Uh, Antibes. Hmm.
I thought you would.
I'll see you later, darling?
Yes, Louise.
Henri, what happened at Antibes?
Lili, would you believe me
if I told you I didn't remember?
Yes, indeed, I would.
Oh, the Peritons.
Madeleine, I'm so glad you could come.
- I'm very happy to be here, Lili.
- You are beautiful as always.
- Henri.
- Good evening.
- Henri.
- How are you, uh, Felix?
- Delighted to see you.
- Thank you.
- And surprised. I rather
thought you'd be in London.
- London?
What could I do in London
that I cannot do here?
- You could be seeing Sir Hubert Canon.
- Shh!
Oh, yes, Sir Hubert.
He's a charming fellow,
but hardly worth a trip to London.
Lili, why don't we invite Sir Hubert down
for a weekend soon?
- Oh, but, Henri, he's so dull.
- Oh, no, not really.
It's only the way he talks.
Jolly good hunting yesterday.
Caught three rabbits and the upstairs maid.
- You two seem very happy.
- Why not, Felix?
- Yes.
- Henri, perhaps you could
spare me a few moments.
- Yes?
That little business matter-
I'd like to discuss it with you.
- Business matter?
- Yes. You know what I mean, of course.
- Uh, hmm.
- Henri!
Pardon. You must come at once-
the telephone.
- The air ministry.
- Air ministry?
- About the planes.
- Oh, good, good.
- The planes?
- Yes. Will you excuse us, Felix?
I'll take it in there.
- What did he want?
- Something about business.
- He wants to see me alone.
- Do not! Whatever you do-
- Do not let him see you alone.
- Suppose he corners me.
- What do I do?
- Radiate confidence.
- Be very sure of yourself.
- But do not say a word.
And another thing,
with Madame Duran-
- You are being much too attentive.
- What?
- Everyone will know-
- That you are not Henri.
- You may pay attention to all
the other women at the party.
- But not Lili.
Look, I thought I was giving an inspired
performance. If you want a run-of-the-mill-
- You understand. It is dangerous-
Pardon me, Capitaine.
Could I speak with you for a moment?
- Certainly, Antoine.
- In private.
Oh. Excuse me, gentlemen.
- What is it?
- There's a young lady to see you, Capitaine.
- I showed her into the library.
- Uh- Well, do I know her?
I do my best to keep track, Capitaine,
but this is one I have never seen before.
Uh, it's a little difficult
for me to see her now.
- Why don't you send her away?
- I'm afraid that's easier said than done, Capitaine.
She's quite persistent
and might make a most unpleasant scene.
- Ah!
- If I might suggest, you are
most adept in such matters.
I am? Oh, yes, of course I am, but-
I have never been in the service
of any gentleman who could handle them as well...
coming and going.
Thank you, Antoine. I will see her.
Thank you, Capitaine.
Di- Uh-
I- Good evening, mademoiselle.
Capitaine Duran,
are you surprised to see me?
I am delighted, astonished.
But you invited me.
Or did I misunderstand you?
No. No.
It's just that I thought you had given
your heart to that young American.
- Martin?
- Yes, he is such a handsome, such a gifted, such a-
Such a big, ugly pig!
But, mademoiselle,
I have always found him charming.
- You don't know him.
- Ah, you are angry.
That is why you have come to see me-
because you are angry with him.
Why do you keep talking about him?
I have a very good reason.
You see, my wife and he-
- No!
- Yes.
She is very attracted to him.
- She is?
- Yes.
And he's attracted to her? Yes?
I'm afraid so.
- There's only one thing we can do, mademoiselle.
- What?
We must, uh, console each other.
- This is our vengeance.
- Please, Capitaine.
Uh-huh. I was right.
You do belong to Martin.
I belong to no one but myself.
It's just that you-
you go too quickly.
Very well, my dear.
I will not frighten you.
We have the whole night before us.
What a beautiful home
you have, Capitaine.
- What lovely pictures.
- I'm glad you like them.
This one- those little dogs,
they are adorable.
Yes. I raised those puppies myself.
I can hardly believe it, Capitaine.
With all these lovely women,
do you really care for me?
My angel, I cannot tell you
what you do to me.
Just looking at you is like a tonic.
Yes, Capitaine Duran. You and I.
- Our vengeance will really be sweet.
- Darling.
- What was that for?
- You pig! I knew it was you all the time.
You did, huh? You did not.
You thought I was Duran.
And you thought they were puppies.
Well, take a look.
They are horses.
Horses as big as a house.
You thought you were going places.
You came here to throw yourself into his arms.
What are you doing here?
You came here because of that woman.
- She doesn't even know who I am.
- You don't fool me.
- You don't care about me anymore.
- Stop screaming and listen to me!
They're paying me a half
a million francs for this.
And who am I gonna spend it on? You.
- Half of a million francs?
- Yes.
Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Television.
- Jack, the television.
- What television?
Gapeaux made arrangements for you
to be on television tonight and you're not there.
- Why didn't he tell me?
- It all happened today.
He has been looking for you.
Jack, he's furious. He said if you're not there,
you'll never work again.
Oh, it was the chance
of a lifetime too.
- I'll make it.
- But how?
I'll get there somehow.
You go back to the theater.
Tell Gapeaux I'll be there,
not to cancel the show.
- If necessary, you go on first.
You better go out this way.
- All right, baby, but hurry.
- I will. I'll get there as quick as I can.
- Kiss me.
- I would still like to meet this Capitaine Duran.
- Oh, come on.
- Ah, Henri. I have caught you at last.
- Uh, caught me?
Yes, I thought perhaps
if we could step into the library...
we might have our
little business talk now.
Business talk at a party?
Oh, Felix, you surprise me.
Look, my friend. It is not that important.
We will talk tomorrow.
Not important? Henri, sometimes
I do not understand you.
Hmm. Now, Felix,
if you will excuse me, I must see Lili.
At the casino, really?
Oh, please sit down.
With your luck, I can understand it.
- Pardon. Lili, may I speak with you for a moment?
- Of course.
- You will excuse us?
- Excuse me.
Henri, what is it?
Is anything wrong?
No, no, my dear. It's just that,
well, you may not see me for a little while.
- Why not?
- Felix persists in talking business.
- And you want to keep out of his way?
- Exactly.
And remember,
you promised me another dance.
I'll be waiting.
Oh, Henri, I have missed you so.
- I- I've missed you too.
- Where can we go?
Uh, well, really, just now
I cannot go anyplace. I- I have to leave-
- You are putting me off. I can hear it in your voice.
- You-You can?
You are not going to drop me
like you dropped all the others.
- No?
- No, not after all the promises you made.
Oh. Well, I promise to keep
those promises, every one.
- But later. Really, right now
I must be leaving at once.
- But, Henri.
I will be back.
You wait for me right here.
Will you? Hmm?
What a man.
Where does he find the time?
Ah, where is Henri?
Henri? I saw him a moment ago.
He is with Lili, I suppose.
- Dancing, drinking, enjoying himself.
- He's not with Lili.
Oh, well, you know Henri.
He may be busy elsewhere.
You all seem to be
in very good spirits this evening.
- And why not?
- Yes. Is this not an occasion to be gay?
Perhaps. And perhaps it is just
a front for my benefit.
Oh, nonsense.
- Then why is Henri afraid to talk to me?
- Afraid?
- Ridiculous.
- Oh, Felix, Madame Cornet
wants to see the television.
Yes, that actor at
the Cote d'Azur is on.
The one who does
the marvelous imitation of Henri.
- He is supposed to be on now?
- Yes, I read it in the Eclaireur.
- This is not possible.
- Why not?
Of course it is possible.
He could be wrong.
- But he is very bad.
- I hear he's excellent.
Who could have told you that?
He is terrible.
Well, I want to see him anyway.
Come along, Felix, or we will miss it.
- What are we going to do?
- Why worry? How can there be a show?
Martin cannot be
in two places at once.
But if Periton finds out that Martin is not
at the theater, he'll put two and two together.
- He is no fool.
- He's not that clever.
What do you mean, "He's not that clever"?
Who has all the money, you or he?
He. You are right.
We must stop them.
- That cannot be the right station.
- Try another.
- No, no. That boy is magnificent. Leave it on.
I've been reading
about this child. He is a genius.
Yes, the greatest
violinist since Paganini.
That may be. But to me, he's terrible.
Let me get the right station-
Please, I'll do it. These things, you know,
they are very complicated.
Allow me.
This special program
from the stage of the Cote d'Azur of Monte Carlo.
There you are.
Moo. Oink.
Very good. But I thought
Henri was going to-
- Where is Henri?
- Shh. He's going to do Henri now.
- So, he fooled everyone, did he?
- Yes, but what about you, Henri?
Did you see Sir Hubert?
I went only as far as Paris. I called him
on the telephone while we were refueling.
He knew what I wanted.
Periton had seen to that.
He was polite, but he said
it was impossible to see me.
So I turned around and flew back.
What are you going to say to Felix?
That depends entirely on what Felix
has to say to me. He has the upper hand now.
- By the way, did Lili know it was Martin?
- Of course.
- She has been an angel. Such a display of affection.
- Such a performance.
You're certain it was a performance?
Oh, Henri, that is
not important now.
You must think of Periton.
He has been trying to see you all evening.
Very well, I will speak to him.
But I'm afraid that all I can do
is plead for more time.
- I think, Louis, that we have come to-
- To the end of our rope.
Why, Henri. You didn't disappear
for so long after all.
- Lili.
- Henri.
You've been so
affectionate this evening.
- Have I?
- Yes. Just like a schoolboy with his first crush.
- Oh.
- But I like it.
Hmm, may I say, Lili,
that you are looking very lovely tonight?
- Or have I said that before?
- Several times.
Now come along. You promised to dance
with me again, remember?
Yes, I forgot.
- Hi.
- Jack, wait a minute.
- Where are you going?
- I have to get back to the party.
No, you're not going
back to that woman!
- Well, I've gotta finish the job.
- It's not the job.
- You're going back because of her.
- Oh, Colette.
You told me yourself
she was beautiful.
Everybody knows her husband doesn't
even look at her. So now she wants you, eh?
- Now don't you talk that way
about her. She's a lady.
- Oh!
- And I'm not.
- Nobody said you weren't.
It's true. You've really fallen
in love with her.
Colette, don't be silly.
I'll see you tomorrow morning at rehearsal.
Colette, don't be silly.
I'll see you tomorrow morning at rehearsal.
If you go back to that woman, you'll never see
me at rehearsal tomorrow morning or ever again.
- Would you stop-
- I mean it!
Close the door.
Nothing but champagne.
If I don't have a real
drink, I will go crazy.
I think I will go crazy anyway.
- Fix me one too, a stiff one.
Gentlemen, I am leaving.
- Leaving?
- But Felix, why?
I have found out
what I wanted to know.
- But you have not talked with Henri.
- Exactly.
He continues to avoid me. And why?
Because he has failed to get the money.
- That is why.
- You're jumping to conclusions.
- That is not true at all.
- Just wait here. We will get Henri.
- He will convince you.
- Can we fix you a drink?
- I do not want a drink.
- Please, Felix, relax.
I will wait exactly one minute.
- We will get Henri.
- Right away.
- Relax.
- Don't go away.
Have you seen Felix?
I've been looking everywhere-
- He is in the library.
- He is very disturbed.
- If he does not see you at once,
he threatens to leave.
- Just a moment.
- Has something happened
that I do not know about?
- No.
- Why?
- If he holds all the trump cards,
why does he not leave?
Why does he have to see me?
There must be something to our advantage
that we do not know about.
- What?
- I do not know. But I shall behave as if I do.
And you two, stay away. One look
at your faces, and our credit will be zero.
Credit- What is it now?
Ah, Felix, I'm sorry
to have neglected you.
What is it you wish to see me about?
- Henri, you astonish me. Such confidence.
- Why not?
Because I have you blocked at every turn.
You are entirely at my mercy.
I know everything there is
to know about you.
Except one thing:
That telephone call.
Which one, Felix?
I receive so many, you know.
The one from the air ministry.
What did they want?
You surprise me. Really, Felix.
I thought you knew everything
there is to know about me.
- Henri, we have been friends for many years.
- Yes.
Tell me what
the air ministry offered.
I'm afraid I cannot do that, Felix.
Then I'll call them
myself and find out.
You do that, and all
negotiations are off.
Now, Henri, let us not be too hasty.
I, hasty? Who sent a telegram
canceling Air Europa's contract for our planes?
- My telegram canceled nothing.
- Well, that is hardly debatable, Felix.
It is a simple matter of record.
I have the telegram right in my office.
I would certainly like
to see such a telegram.
I'll be very happy to get it
and show it to you.
- Oh, Capitaine.
- Yes, Antoine?
- That young lady you told to wait on the terrace-
- What? Oh, yes.
No, sir. She's no longer there.
She became quite impatient, so I put her
in the upstairs sitting room. She is furious.
Ah. Well, uh, you speak to her.
I'm afraid that would
do no good, Capitaine.
If I may say so,
once they have met you...
it seems to spoil them
for anyone else.
I suppose that is true.
- Very well, I will see her.
- Thank you, Capitaine.
Oh, Henri.
I'm sorry I lost my temper.
We will forget about the telegram.
- And we will talk things over like friends.
- Yes, but, uh-
I know, I know.
I perhaps did say that in the telegram.
But it is of no consequence at all.
Henri, you do not understand me.
- And I do not understand you.
- What could be fairer than that?
But you are acting so strangely.
I'm beginning to think you do not care.
- There is no need to worry.
- Henri will be-
Look, that actor. He's back.
- Oh, if Periton sees him-
- It will spoil everything.
We've got to get him out of here.
- What are you doing? Go away.
- Far away.
- What is the matter with you?
- We do not need you any longer.
- Duran is back.
- Duran, Duran. I am Duran.
- You're-
- Certainly. I do not know how,
but Martin is in there.
- Martin? But he's at the theater.
- I tell you he is in there.
Then you cannot stay here, Henri.
Where shall I go,
to his nightclub and do his act?
It will be all right
if you two go into the office.
- "It will be all right."
- Do not worry. He has been told
not to commit himself.
I will wait out here.
- Hmm.
- Will you please stop doing that?
It is driving me mad. Say something.
- Felix.
- Yes?
Have a cigar.
Bonbons. I never know where anything is
in this house anymore.
Oh, please, Henri. Let's come down to business.
What about the telephone?
- Telephone?
- Yes, the telephone.
- Felix, I have a confession to make.
- Ah.
I do not know where
the telephone is either.
Always redecorating.
Always something new.
I go around the world in two days.
I arrive back, Lili
has changed everything.
Henri, something has happened to you.
Your trip- you should take a vacation.
Really, Felix? Where do you think
I should go at this time of year?
Well, at this time of year,
I think a cruise on your boat would be-
How did we come to talk about this?
How did we come
to talk about this? Let me see.
I was doing this and you said
I should stop because it was driving you crazy.
Then I offered you a cigar,
but it turned out to be bonbons.
I said, "I never know where anything
is in this house anymore."
You said, "What about the telephone?"
I said, "I do not know"-
All right, Henri. I see your game.
You're fencing for time.
- So?
- You do not wish to make a deal tonight...
because tomorrow, you will make a better deal
with the air ministry, is that not true?
I wish I knew
what you are thinking.
But I cannot afford to take a chance.
Air Europa must have those planes.
My first and last offer,
20 billion francs.
- 20 billion-
- Shh.
- 20 billion francs.
- Hmm.
Very well, then. 25 billion.
- What has happened?
- I do not know. They are still in there.
Stay inside. I will let you know.
I have to find my wife.
- What did he say?
- He said he had to find his wife.
- No. What did he say in there?
- I don't know. I think that guy is wacky.
And I'm not so sure
about you either.
- You must go away from here
at once. Duran has returned.
- He has?
Yes. Here's the rest of your money.
Go out through the library.
Wait a minute.
What about my clothes upstairs?
You can get everything tomorrow,
but go, please, and quick.
- Our friend has finally gone.
- Good. What has happened?
- I don't know nothing. I think this Martin is wacky.
- At least he is gone.
If I only knew what I said in there,
I'd be much happier.
Mimi, I'm delighted-
Oh, this Martin.
Mimi has never slapped anybody before.
Perhaps he should have
paid us for tonight's work.
- Good night, Henri.
- Good night, Madeleine.
- Lovely evening.
- Thank you. Felix.
I meant every word I said, Henri.
And when I see you tomorrow,
I will prove it to you. Good night.
- Good night, Felix.
- Good night, gentlemen.
Good night.
See me tomorrow?
What did he mean by that?
- Just what he said.
- He will see you tomorrow.
Ah, no. There was
something underneath it.
Do you think that Martin
gave the whole thing away?
How could he?
He did not know anything.
- He knew how to fascinate Lili.
- He certainly did.
You, uh, have not
told Lili I am back?
No, you are still in London
as far as she's concerned.
Then I am still in London
as far as you are concerned.
I think I will be Monsieur Martin till
the party is over...
and even afterwards perhaps.
- It must be very bad.
- Asking us to rush out to the boat like this.
- Yes?
- Bad news?
- From Periton?
- Something far more tragic.
- More tragic?
- Good heavens. What?
- I have lost everything.
- Tell us, Henri. Tell us.
- It's Lili. She has betrayed me.
- Last night she was in the arms of another man.
- Oh, I don't believe it.
- How do you know?
- How do I know? I was there.
- You mean you actually-
- Yes. I wish I could say no.
- Poor Henri. Who was the man?
- I was.
- Perhaps we did not understand.
- Of course not. How could you understand?
You cannot imagine
such an experience.
Last night I went to her room.
I took her in my arms
and kissed her tenderly...
hoping against hope
she would rebuff me.
But she did not. She kissed me eagerly,
fiercely. It was horrible.
- What's horrible about a wife kissing-
- Her own husband?
She was not kissing her husband. She thought
I was Martin. She thought she was kissing him.
But she wasn't kissing him.
She was kissing you.
- So she was the one who was fooled.
- That is not the point.
Last night, with him- with me-
she was a completely different woman
than she ever was with me.
I've been such a fool.
I never realized how
wonderful she is until now.
Now it is too late.
She's in love with that actor.
There's nothing I can do about it.
I cannot even blame Martin for what
he did, because he did not do it.
I did it myself.
You have certainly placed yourself
in an embarrassing position.
It's horrible.
That's why I sent for you.
I cannot go back to the villa.
I-I could not face her. I'm sailing in an hour.
- But what about our company?
- What about Periton?
That is your affair.
I am no longer interested in anything.
Oh, Henri. It is impossible.
I do not believe Lili would do such a thing.
- Why not?
- Every man in France has tried to
make love to Lili and failed.
There was never any other
man for Lili but you.
She knew it was you last night.
All the time.
Of course she did.
She just wanted to teach you a lesson.
You think so?
- Knowing Lili, it is obvious.
- Think about it.
I wonder.
She did act rather
strangely last night.
At first, uh, she was quite angry.
Then suddenly, she changed.
- That was the moment she discovered it was you.
- Definitely.
Right now, she's probably
laughing her head off.
- And I have been worrying about nothing.
- Of course.
Then perhaps it is time
I gave her something to worry about.
- Come, my friends. I will telephone to shore.
- What for?
First I shall call
the airport, then my wife.
- Come in.
- Good morning, madame.
- Good morning, Antoine. Isn't it a lovely day?
Yes, madame. The capitaine would like
to speak with you.
- Why doesn't he come in?
- He's on the telephone, madame.
The telephone?
Here. Take this, Antoine.
Hello, Henri.
You might at least have come in
and said good morning to me before you left.
- Where are you anyway?
- I'm here at the airport, my dear.
I'm sorry I could not get home
for the reception last night...
but, uh, we ran into bad weather
and we were forced down.
You mean you've just arrived?
You weren't at home last night?
No, of course not, my dear.
Why? Did something happen?
Oh, no, Henri.
No, nothing happened, nothing at all.
Didn't you sleep well?
Oh, yes, I- I didn't
even take a pill. Oh, my.
You sound upset, my dear.
Oh, no, Henri. It's nothing.
Good. I'm glad to hear that.
I will be home in a little while.
Good-bye, my dear.
Oh, no. It- It couldn't have been.
- Madame?
Michele, ask Antoine to come in,
please. Quickly.
Yes, madame.
Hello. Is this the airport?
Control tower, please.
Hello, this is Madame Duran.
Would you please tell me
what time Capitaine Duran's plane landed?
Just a minute, madame.
It's Duran's wife. She's checking up on him.
- What will I tell her?
- Duran told us to say his plane
got in this morning at 11:28.
Where do you suppose
he spent the night?
Hello, madame?
According to our records, Capitaine Duran's
plane landed at 11:28 this morning.
This morning? Are you sure?
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
- Madame wishes to see me?
- Yes, Antoine. Did you see
Capitaine Duran this morning?
Of course, madame.
I laid out his clothes, as usual.
Did you notice anything-
anything different about him?
I mean, did he act
strangely in any way?
If you please, madame.
I would rather not discuss it.
- Oh, but you must. What happened?
- Very well, madame.
I've been in service for many years.
Now, I don't look down
upon my position.
I consider it an honorable
and dignified calling.
If more people took their jobs
as seriously as I do...
the world wouldn't be
in the hideous mess it's in today.
Yes, yes, Antoine.
What did the capitaine do?
He was extraordinarily rude to me.
He didn't shower. He didn't shave.
He didn't eat his breakfast.
And to top it all, he completely
disregarded my selection...
and left wearing a blue suit
with a green tie.
Why, I shall be
the laughingstock of the Riviera.
I've never known the capitaine
to behave in this fashion before.
- Oh.
- It was almost as if he were another man.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, Antoine.
So am I, madame. But it's a situation
for which there's no solution.
If he apologizes, it will destroy our
relationship completely.
Then I would have to leave.
Will that be all, madame?
Yes, yes, Antoine. Thank you.
By now, she has
telephoned the airport.
- I will give her five minutes more.
- But Periton.
They have verified my story, and the
horrible truth is beginning to dawn on her.
Don't you think we ought to find out
what Periton is going to do?
She has called in
Michele and Antoine...
and they have confirmed
her worst fears.
There's no longer
room for any doubt.
She can barely face the realization
of what she has done.
- But, Henri-
- It will take me about half an hour to get ashore...
and drive up to the villa.
The bad news.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning.
I'm glad I found all three of you together.
I've been looking for you all morning.
- Well, you have found us.
- They told me at the club
you had come out here.
I was afraid you'd sail
without my seeing you.
Perhaps that would
have been just as well.
One would almost think
you did not want to see me.
- Well, did we?
- Didn't you tell them?
- What was there to tell?
- About our conference last night, of course.
Oh, yes, of course I told them.
- And you told them the terms?
- Mmm, yes, in a general way.
- Then why are they acting so gloomy?
- Why, indeed?
- You do not act very cheerful yourself.
- Cheerful? Why should I?
Oh, Henri, you're an amazing man.
- I bring you a check for 30 billion francs-
- 30 billion francs?
- You sound surprised.
- Well, I am.
I, uh- I am surprised
that you got it so quickly.
I'm a man of my word. I told you last night
I would bring you the check this morning.
- And there it is.
- Yes, there it is.
I have always said you had the shrewdest
business mind in Europe, Henri.
- Last night, you proved it.
- You give me too much credit, Felix.
- No, you held a trump card,
and you played it like a master.
- Thank you very much, Felix.
I'm sorry I cannot ask you to stay,
but Lili is not feeling very well just now.
- I must get back to the villa.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll take you back in my launch.
- That's very kind of you, Felix.
I'll be with you in a minute.
- Gentlemen.
30 billion francs!
We are saved!
We are solvent! We are rich!
- Thanks to Monsieur Martin.
- Yes.
He seems to have played my part
almost as well as I have played his.
- Oh, good morning.
- What are you doing here?
- Came to get my clothes.
- How did you get in?
Sneaked in through the library.
Oh, don't worry. Nobody saw me.
- I'm surprised you have the gall to face me.
- Why not?
What you did last night was utterly contemptible.
You knew I thought you were my husband.
- Sure, I did. We had a lot of fun, didn't we?
- Fun?
Yeah. You know, I wasn't
too keen about it at first.
But when I realized the situation,
you know, with the captain gone...
- and how desperate you were.
- Really?
- Oh, I'm not saying I can't use the money.
- Oh.
- And I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.
- What kind of a favor?
Well, if it isn't too much trouble,
I'd like a letter of recommendation.
- Recommendation? After what you did?
- Yeah.
What's the matter with what I did?
Didn't you like my performance?
- I certainly did not.
- Well, I'd like to know anyone
who could've done better.
- Oh, you vulgar, insufferable-
- Wait a minute.
If you weren't satisfied,
why didn't you tell me before this?
Because your performance
was too good.
I don't mind saying you gave a pretty good
performance yourself.
Will you get out of here,
you conceited-
It's not conceit. I did a good job last night.
And I'm proud of it. That's all.
I just thought you might know some other homes
where I could do the same thing.
- My charges would be very reasonable.
- Monsieur Martin.
- I must ask you to leave.
- Okay.
But if the captain's ever away again,
I'll be very happy to oblige.
Is that why you came here?
To make cheap, disgusting-
No, I told you why I came.
I came to get my clothes.
Why didn't you take them
when you left this morning?
- What?
- Why didn't you take your clothes
when you left this morning?
Left this morning? I left last night.
- You left last night?
- Sure. Soon as I found out the captain was back...
I beat it out of here
as fast as I could.
Then the capitaine
was here last night.
- Sure, he was. Didn't you see him?
- Oh, yes.
Yes, of course I did.
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
I- I can't tell you
how relieved I am.
I'm delighted
you came back this morning.
I don't get it. You certainly haven't
been acting that way.
Oh, I am sorry. I'm afraid I was confused.
But I'm not anymore.
It's all very clear to me now.
Jack, I wonder, would you
do me an enormous favor?
- Sure, anything.
- But we must act quickly,
before my husband gets here.
- Okay.
- Now-
Well, Monsieur Martin.
Uh, good morning, Captain.
Good morning.
I'm, uh- I'm delighted to find you here.
- You are?
- Yes.
I want to thank you
for what you did for me last night.
I'm sending you a check in the morning
which will express my gratitude more fully.
Well, thanks, Captain.
I sure can use it. By the way, what did I do?
You made a great financial deal for me.
What did you say to Periton?
Oh. I said, uh, "Hmm."
- Oh, that.
- Yeah.
- I was told you always use it.
- But never with such success.
Look, Captain. I don't know how to say this.
It's really none of my business.
But you're making a great mistake.
- I am? How?
- Your wife. She's wonderful.
Believe me, she's got everything,
everything a man could ask for.
- I found that out.
- You know, she's so crazy about you...
she just tried to talk me
into making you jealous.
- You were supposed to come up
and find her in my arms.
- Oh?
Why don't you quit playing the field and
concentrate on her?
- You're right, my friend.
- Now will you go up? She's waiting for you.
Monsieur Martin...
will you and your charming Colette
have dinner with us tonight?
We will come to the show and afterward,
the four of us will have a big celebration.
- I wish we could, but, uh,
I don't know where Colette is.
- No?
No, she walked out on me.
She didn't understand about last night.
- Oh, I am very sorry.
- So am I.
- Is there anything I can do?
- No. No, I'm afraid not.
- Wait a minute. You could do me one favor.
- Anything.
- Tell me, Captain. What's your secret?
- Secret?
Yeah. Let's face it. We do resemble each other.
We proved that last night.
But when women
look at you, they- Well, you know.
And when they look at me,
they run for the nearest exit.
What's your secret?
- Well, thank you, Captain.
- Not at all.
- Well, good-bye, Jack.
- Good-bye, Henri.
- Oh, Captain. Just one thing.
- Yes?
Make sure she knows it's you this time.
I don't wanna get in any more trouble.
Have no fear. She will know.