One Bedroom (2018) Movie Script

No stress!
We'll fix those street lights!
Everything's gonna be ALL
WHITE! Nothing to fear.
You all were a mess
before we got here.
You go burn that lease and
please be civilized
or else we'll have to
call the police.
Could you believe this black
man had the nerve
to walk a tad bit
too close to me?
He looked just like one of
those rappers on TV.
I got uncomfortable, went ahead
and dialed the authorities.
It's okay to sell your soul.
We'll revive your local bar,
advertise it with a bullet hole.
We'll buy your properties so low
as you watch your
community cripple.
Wait 'til you're gone, flip it,
and then sell it for triple.
Enough with culture, diversity,
artist, musician, actor.
Where or however they
end up to me,
it's just not a factor.
But hey, no racists here.
I voted for Obama,
all lives matter.
Beautiful, Brooklyn was
When you were here Brooklyn
was beautiful
Brooklyn was beautiful
Brooklyn was beautiful
When you were here,
Brooklyn was beautiful
When you were here,
Brooklyn was beautiful
When you were here,
Brooklyn was beautiful
You all right, Nate?
After what happened yesterday,
man, I'd have thought
you'd have stayed
home today, bruh.
Man, there's nothing to do
there but smoke weed.
At least you can do it all you
want now,
without listening to her
I'm already as high as I'm
gonna get, dude.
Figured I might as well come in
and cut some hair,
make some money.
Whoa, word on the street is,
there's a new bachelor
on the loose my man.
You told him?
Nothing we didn't already know.
Y'all were together
five years man,
that was supposed to be wifey.
You weren't even supposed to be
here today.
Uh huh.
Must feel good man, getting the
place back to yourself
getting in the groove like a
player, hear me?
No man, it's not even like that.
I look around, it's fucking
ghost town in my house.
All I see is nothing, I feel
these moments of our love
everywhere. I touch shit, it's
just love emanating
out of couches and cushions.
Oh lord, you sound like a bitch
Yeah man, you call your mother
Yo, I'm a man my dude, why you
gotta talk about my mom?
No need to get swoll my dude.
You know what and fuck you,
because you're the one who put
all my business
out in the street. And you know
You just sit there and you read
your 50-year-old Ebony
We're all gonna work
in silence today.
I don't know none of you
Who he think he is? Shit!
Yo brother, if you didn't want
to talk about it,
you'd have kept your
silent ass home today.
I'm not allowed to work?
I can't make money?
I'm just saying, bruh.
Melissa left yesterday.
We know.
We know.
My brother...
What happened?
Nothing, what?
You didn't tell them?
Psh, I didn't tell them
I wasn't there for everything.
I was just there for
the beat down.
She hit you?
She did not hit me,
no, she didn't hit me.
Why do you want her to stay if
she is hitting you?
That's that gender equality.
Stop it, no she didn't hit me.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
Because it is classic
for abuse victims
to deny everything.
That's true.
You know what..? Mosey, come on.
She didn't hit him.
Thank you.
At least not
when I was there.
I don't know what
happened after that.
You know what?
I am in pain, I lost somebody.
It doesn't matter man,
she's not dead.
You're just not hitting it
from the back anymore, man,
that's all.
A broken heart really needs a
little levity, okay?
So why you got to be
such a sour puss?
We all friends man,
now let's talk, talk it out.
Now who sounds like the bitch?
Yo, Chess, why don't you hit
him off
with your liquid breakfast man,
loosen him up, man.
Get his mind right.
Shit, you don't smell
the weed on him?
He's already high.
So all right then, Nate,
What's good?
How'd it go down, bruh?
Oh goodness.
That was
I'm gonna miss you,
that was... I'm gonna miss you a
I'm going to miss you, too.
You still love me?
I'm not doing this anymore,
We're moving on.
I'm trying not to love you.
Yeah, your logic is tight.
But, yes.
If that's what you're wondering.
Yeah, kinda. Yeah, I mean I
know I wasn't the only one
that felt something just now
when we were,
you know, bonin'.
That extra minute was special
because I didn't get you
an anniversary gift
two weeks ago.
You know what I was
while you were in the shower?
I was thinking that maybe this
isn't really happening.
It's happening.
My mother always said it's
better to break up
while you still love someone.
Breaking up while you hate
usually ends in murder.
Yeah, but that's my point,
we don't hate each other, right?
We love each other, we said it
a bunch of times
in that flurry of passion.
That flurry of passion was a
goodbye fuck.
It was?
You were the one who said 'How
about a goodbye fuck?'
That's right.
I obliged.
Can't believe I did that.
I knew you'd twist everything
the second it was over.
I'm not twisting anything! I
just think
we don't have to break up
because we had great sex.
For us, great sex, we were in
there crying
it was all emotional, I mean,
doesn't that mean anything?
Does it?
You want to know what I was
thinking about in the shower?
I was wondering how
long will it take
to wash your smell off of me,
because I don't want to smell
you tonight
when I go to sleep in my new
home and you know what?
I can still smell you. Fuck!
Let's just forget this morning
ever happened.
No, I don't want to forget what
happened this morning.
I do, think about something
Don't you have school work?
It'll get done.
I bet if you had your study
partner you'd be more focused.
See, you want me to leave you
but you keep bringing up
And another thing, I want my
teapot back.
You mean the teapot
you bought me?
I bought it for the apartment.
When I moved in you
heated your water
in the microwave, like a
What are you talking about,
That shit is technology.
It's mine, I'm taking it.
So you don't want tea, then?
I don't want to talk about it,
just get over here now.
I don't give a shit about
Alternate Side,
I'll pay for the ticket.
Here you go and don't forget
you got
the sneakers by the door.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, and I'm gonna need your
address for the mail.
No you won't.
Don't you care about your mail?
Why do you think I found in
apartment in secret?
I'm already getting my mail
there, thanks.
Yeah, but you know sometimes...
You know what, anything that
slips through the mail Nate
you can have, go crazy.
Okay, you know what?
I was just trying to be nice.
You want this to be nice?
Nicer than this.
I have nothing to be nice about.
You have nothing to be a bitch
Fuck you.
You already did that today
and that still didn't
chill you out.
You're a fucking waste.
You know what?
Your heart wouldn't be breaking
over a fucking waste, babe.
You cheated on me, that's why
I'm a bitch.
You want a bitch,
you got a bitch,
you ungrateful motherfucker.
Not ungrateful, listen I know
that you helped me
get a lot of shit straight in
my life.
Damn right, I did.
Okay, I said thank you, right?
What else do you want from me?
You could have thanked me
before you went
and fucked a 20 year old.
Slow down, all right. I did not
do nothin'-
Oh see another lie.
And I'm pretty sure that that's
not a lie okay.
You say you're at school, but
it's not on your schedule.
You say you're with Mosey, but
really you were
with those BMCC girls.
I like your place.
How's the rent?
I don't talk about it.
Your girlfriend handle the
Yeah, yeah, she's
got a little skill.
She fixed this place up.
Before she moved in,
all I did was decorate with
I've actually been looking for
a place.
Are there any spots open like
The only way to get a place
like this
is to be really rich or to live
here your whole life
and wait for your
parents to die.
You just saying that because
you don't want me to live here.
No, it's true, my mom
owns this building
and you know she
wants to kick me out
so she can get more for rent.
So the idea that I'm gonna help
you, is not very likely.
So basically you don't want no
Oh see now you're just messing
with me.
So you gonna tell me you don't
feel what's happening?
With what?
With you and me?
Nate, I heard about you, stop.
All right, listen,
all right, okay,
sometimes I get a little
reckless if there's a party,
but this is my girlfriend's
place, too,
so if we're done studying,
you know...
You wasn't talking about her
last week
when we was dancing.
Okay yeah I was flirting with
you, but--
You flirt with everybody.
I'm a DJ.
That's what' DJs do,
that's how I get tips.
- A DJ?
- Yeah, I gotta
flirt a little bit.
- Listen.
You and I connect on
some real shit.
You know what you get
Everyday is Christmas
Oh yeah there ain't no
Oh okay, yeah you, music is
definitely more your thing.
You like that?
Yeah, that was really--
Okay, Justine, you are young
enough to be my niece.
Don't you have a boyfriend?
He plays basketball
for St. Johns.
It's an open relationship.
Yeah, I guess that's the way
you'd have to go with that.
You got condoms?
That's you kids don't
mince, do you?
Why waste time with words?
I'm hot, you're a six,
let's do this.
Okay listen, Justine, I know
what you think
is going to happen, but I--
Okay six, a six is your bottom
for getting freaky?
This isn't getting freaky.
This is studying.
That's why I thought you called
me here today,
the whole group canceled, it's
just me and you.
I thought I was helping you out.
You did, thanks.
Listen, I've always been
attracted to older men.
Oh man, there it is, see I knew
that was gonna come.
Thank you Justine.
Yeah, that's great, oh, that's
really nice.
Thank you, okay.
Thank you, that's
let's you an Uber.
You know what listen, I don't
care about your girlfriend.
That that makes one of us.
Yeah, but does she know what
most men want?
What's that?
Someone who can keep a secret.
Okay, then well please keep
this one.
You want me to touch him?
Okay, thank you, no, you've got
to go, you've got to go.
I'm not an idiot,
you fucked her.
I did not.
I love how every time you tell
the story,
you are somehow the hero
just trying to preserve
everyone's honor.
Are you saying that isn't me?
Not if it's the same Justine
who takes selfies
with her ass sticking out.
Learn how to close your apps.
You practically live on her
Okay, well you're
worse than the NSA.
Nate, I know you
think you're smart,
but you're not smart.
You're stupid, okay?
You're stupid,
you didn't even try to hide it
you left her fucking
wine glass out
with the lip stain all over it.
Justine brought the wine, she
was trying to impress me
because I'm so dope, like you
used to try to impress me,
but you don't anymore, because
you don't think I'm dope.
You know the whole place smelled
of her cheap ass perfume.
That's not my fault.
You changed the sheets.
You didn't clean up anything
else she left behind,
but you changed the sheets,
you made sure to change the
Why is that?
Since when have you ever even
about doing that?
Of course.
You don't have an answer
because you're guilty.
I'm not guilty.
You changed the sheets.
I didn't sleep with that chick.
You changed the sheets.
- Yeah because--
- Because you slept with her
in our bed, well you keep the
bed now.
I just said that she came over
and things got a little hot,
but I got a hard-on okay,
I'll admit that shit, but
nothing happened with her.
Okay, I kicked her out and
frankly kicking her out
didn't do shit for my blue
so I went into the bedroom and
I stroked it off
and you know I got a little on
the sheets and pillows,
well I got a LOT, a lot on the
sheets and pillows,
because even if it's only three
I'm like Lexington Steele when
I pop,
I mean that shit was just
everywhere so I just
gathered everything up, put it
in the laundry bag,
didn't have time to wash it and
get it back on the,
you were about to come home.
I'm just lucky you didn't walk
in with a black light.
Look, the gears are turning,
see you know that I'm telling
the truth.
I, I don't... Maybe
it's stupid enough to be true.
And you just called me stupid.
I was wondering why the sheets
didn't smell
of her perfume, you didn't have
time to wash them
and there were never any hairs
or other fluids.
Who the hell are you supposed
to be, CSI?
Of course there were no other
hairs or fluids,
just my man juice, a pretty
girl came onto me,
so I stroked it off, sue me!
Whoa, is this what, that's what
this is about?
That's what you had to go on?
Cora said--
Cora said?!? Oh!
Cora said?!?
Cora's the one fucking up my
shit right now
because I like to jerk off in
instead of in front of a
computer, like your brother.
She said it seemed suspicious.
Well, she was wrong, wasn't she?
It did seemed suspicious.
It seemed suspicious because
she made it up.
That doesn't make any fucking
All right fine, you didn't
cheat, happy?
That's the best you got?
I'm sorry, Nate.
It's okay, I forgive you.
'Cuz I love you we just suck at
and I'm gonna do a better job
of letting you in.
I've been watching a lot of OWN,
because I'm trying to fix all
of this.
I just have to go Nate.
And now I want tea, shit.
Okay, when people have trouble
they talk it out or they get
only punks cut and run.
Then I'm a punk.
Okay, but you're not still mad
at me, right?
- What?
- Well I mean
this whole breakup thing was
you thought that I hit it with
which I did not, so.
Not everything is about you and
and besides I don't know that
you didn't sleep with her.
Yeah, but you have doubts
I have doubts about Justine.
I don't have doubts there were
Why do you think I didn't sleep
with Justine?
- Can we stop--
- No no no no,
seriously, do you have any idea
why I didn't sleep with her?
Tell me.
Because flirting is automatic,
not emotion.
Yeah, that is right and she's a
Why am I gonna get emotional
over some knucklehead for, huh?
Knucklehead's can't measure up
to the future
that you and I were building. I
didn't sleep with Justine
because I believed in us.
I didn't hit it for the same
that you never cheated on me.
This is gonna be a tough
Not if we've done our jobs
We both teach sixth grade, but
I don't think
as much of my students
as you do.
This shit is hard.
Jason, it's just a midterm.
You want some more tea?
You know it shouldn't be a crime
to challenge sixth graders.
That's what I teach my students,
what do you teach yours?
Mostly what their rights are
if ever they're held by the
So where's Nate tonight?
DJing some college party.
But it's Wednesday.
He had his midterms too.
Guess he's letting off some
steam with his friends.
You don't want to go?
Please. I'm over it.
These are his college years,
let him has his fun.
Oh well, it's great that you
also support him.
We have an understanding.
Well he's lucky.
But you deserve to have some
fun too.
One with each rising and
setting of the sun
Whatever may come, I'm about
to have fun
Cut my losses, grin it and
bear it
Rather I bury it,
don't force it
And won't forfeit
So he starts getting these
phone calls
at four in the morning.
I know what's going on,
but what's the point in
complaining now?
He's what I deserve.
Hey, hey, you don't deserve
anything but to be happy.
We don't even talk about
marriage anymore.
You're engaged?
I'm getting married this summer.
That's some slutty shit!
I hate you!
Oh sure, now you want tea.
Well at least I don't have to
smoke or drink
at all hours of the day like
some people.
No, only when you're cheating
on some people!
I didn't cheat, I was
Get the hell out of here?
She said that?
Because you slept with Justine
in our bed.
You just said that you know I
didn't sleep with Justine.
I didn't know that at the time
and even if it wasn't Justine,
there were others Nate,
in other beds, don't lie to me.
There were others.
She flipped it like that?
Yo real talk.
I didn't think she had it in
her like that.
And she knows that nothing
happened with Justine?
But she gave this guy some trim
to get back at you for screwing
And she definitely fucked him
in your bed?
She washed the sheets?
Yeah, she must have dude, I
didn't even
know about it till yesterday.
Hey, see that's how they do.
Hell, Nate, how do you keep from
blowing your brains out man?
That's some ruthless shit that
she did there.
No it ain't.
It's justice.
Are you serious, Lou?
Your boy got played.
Look, you're my man
but you know was dead wrong for
with that young girl or any of
them girls for that matter.
You're supposed to be in here
getting your life together,
trying to get up out the shop,
but instead you running around
like you're on Love and Hip
Hop. That's your problem.
You know what your problem is?
You think you can solve everything
with your stupid rhymes.
Whether it happened or not,
you wanted me to think that you
or could have fucked those
stupid college girls.
That is what your ego is about,
making yourself believe you
have a big dick
and making me feel like shit.
How can they be stupid if
they're in college?
I was stupid in college.
You know what?
Maybe I wouldn't have to cheat
if every time
we had sex you didn't have to
wait for it to be over.
I wouldn't have to cheated if
you didn't smell
like Patchouli, Hennessy and
weed every time
you climbed on top of me.
That doesn't even matter.
You brought another dude here.
You shouldn't be moving out, I
should be kicking you out.
And what should have been the
final straw for me?
How many chances did I give you
before Justine?
Nothing happened with Justine.
What about April, Lexi,
Oh yeah yeah, I know about her,
that you put a part of your
body into the mouth
of someone named Cinnamon.
I don't even know how I can
look at you.
How'd you find out about that?
What is that? You didn't win
you just slept with a married
Same difference,
he's married now.
Well, it was only once and
that's something
that Jason and his wife will
have to figure out.
This is the same woman that
teaches children.
How do you get to judge me
after what you did?
I get to judge you after five
years of cheating on me.
Yeah, for all you know,
all my cheating
was exaggerated, but what you
did was premeditated.
Yeah, yeah, that's what you do,
you just brought him over here
to seduce you.
I know what you do, you find
some little idiot
off the banana boat and you
bide your time
and then you claws into, your
fangs into him.
I know how that works.
I didn't bring him over here to
seduce him.
I knew that he would try to
seduce me
and I figured I'd just let the
chips fall
wherever they may fall and--
That's some whore shit. Whore!
Cinnamon, Cinnamon, Cinnamon!
Day-O Day-O Day-O
It doesn't matter what you say
about Justine,
you're a liar, I didn't just get
pictures off your phone, stupid.
You know what?
Good, get the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna need you to move your
stuff off my desk.
Don't worry I'm moving it.
I've been asking you all week
Hey, I said I'm moving it,
you're still packing.
Well now I'm kinda in a hurry.
What took you so long?
I told you I wanted to be out
by noon.
Talk to Cora, I was ready.
She had me waiting outside her
place for like 45 minutes.
I didn't know what to wear.
We're moving dusty boxes, does
it matter?
They're dusty boxes?
Okay do you have a shirt I can
Look if I get a ticket, you're
paying it.
I told you I would, didn't I?
Look, that's my mother-in-law's
I finally got her liking me.
I don't need you messing that
You know how hard it is to get
a Dominican mother-in-law to
like a black dude?
That shit is muy difficulto.
Damn, you got mad shit up in
Will it fit?
Well, we gonna make it fit,
because I ain't coming back
- Melissa, shirt?
- Come on.
Hi, Nate.
Yo kiss my ass, Cora.
- Ah shit.
- Yeah shit.
What'd you tell her, what'd you
tell her?
I told her the truth.
That what, Justine was
She was, it was, the whole
thing was suspicious.
Why, we're working together?
Why did you have to work here?
Because study group, that's why.
Yo, is this desk coming with--
I'm moving it, damn.
The fuck is he talking to?
You told her to check the
That's what I would have done
in her situation.
But you're never in her
because you don't get attached.
And this is why, the pain.
Men are pigs and you're a man,
This is what you're listening
Nate, at the very least you
should not have been
studying alone with another
woman in the apartment
you share with girlfriend.
I mean come on, dude, did you
not think
that will make her feel
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
We can agree on something.
Nothing happened with Justine.
Says you, why don't you tell
her that shit,
you tell her all my other
business in the street,
why don't you tell her that
Tell her.
His story actually makes sense.
- In your face!
- Okay, well what
about the sheets?
Don't worry about my sheets.
You keep your mind
out of my sheets.
I don't worry about the sheets?
No, you don't worry about, no
we don't gotta
talk about my sheets anymore.
Fine, well what--
Point is you were wrong.
- Whatever, whatever.
- You were wrong.
Whatever, you won one,
congratulations Nate.
Why can't you just mind your
own business?
She's my best friend,
she is my business.
So why don't you get
some facts before you
spread out advice like diarrhea?
I don't understand
Are you angry because
we were right
that you did have
another woman here
or that I care about my friend?
Get out of my house,
you first, quickly,
get the fuck out. Now.
He's gonna change his tone.
He's gonna stop cussing at me.
I'm not gonna miss you.
Ted, we were never fucking.
Yeah, because I never liked you.
I'm pretty sure that's not the
only reason.
I mean she helps you get on
your feet
and you repay her by messing
around with sluts.
They're called students.
I don't know what took us so
to see that you are cocky,
narcissistic, no talent nobody.
You're nothing but a pretend DJ
and a terrible barber.
I ain't forget how you fucked
up my head.
If my mother was alive to see
what a piece of shit
my sister wound up with,
she'd never stop stabbing her
eyes out.
Are you gonna help me
move this shit,
so you can hurry up and get
back to the top
of the Empire State Building,
You look like the fifth Ninja
Turtle, the brown one.
Yeah, get that one, move that
shit Kong.
Girl, I lent this to you like a
year ago.
Well now you have it back.
I wanted to get your
clothes dirty.
What's wrong?
How am I any different from
If he didn't really sleep with
that chick
then me and Jason,
that was for nothing.
No it wasn't.
Girl, Jason is hot, Nate is
like a three.
Why did I even listen to you?
Revenge fucking, what am I, 19?
Okay, I'm sorry I was wrong
one thing, I'm not perfect.
But you wouldn't stop talking
about it,
so I know you had fun.
I couldn't stop talking about
it because I felt guilty.
Yeah right, guilty, #humblebrag.
So nothing happened with her?
Who, Justine?
So you're honestly going to
stand there
and tell us that you've
never been
with any other woman besides
Nah, you know what's--
No, don't worry about what I
We're concerned with what I
don't know.
Because if you can
actually say no,
then maybe we were wrong and
this can be worked out.
All right, well once.
- Once?
- See?
Cinnamon, Cinnamon I told you
about her.
Yeah, yeah that's why you're
admitting it.
Cinnamon?!? You fucked a
stripper is what you're saying.
She's a stripper.
First of all, she's not a
She goes to church every Sunday
and it was once.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Because I vividly remember
seeing you
at a bar in Williamsburg
flirting with
some Asian chick in a Mets cap.
You disappeared into the
bathroom for like 15 minutes.
I saw you, but you definitely
didn't see me.
- Okay, maybe twice.
- Twice?
- Oh.
- Ain't shit motherfucker.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Three, four, five, six.
What did I tell you about this
I told you--
The whole time
he was lying.
- Want to give it
to me that I don't know?
- This is not what
mommy would have wanted.
- All right, don't even
go there right now.
- You slept with some
hard heads.
- Look at him.
You don't listen.
- Ganging up on me for.
Hi Nate.
- What's up man?
Yeah, sure.
See man that's the thing about
you, right?
You can't be trusted, first
it's once,
then it's twice, then it's just
an Asian chick
in a bar bathroom.
- What's up, Mosey?
- What's up, man?
- Did I come at a bad time?
- No no, fuck these ghosts.
- Want some of this?
- Yeah man, I'll hit that.
Want to borrow something else?
Oh, man, if I could...
Yeah, man hit them stacks.
Ooh, I can't wait till we get
rid of you.
See you're a piece of shit man,
you've got piece of shit
Whoa whoa.
- And you like
piece of shit girls.
Yo, you should take
that back man,
because I love your sister.
Pssh, doubt it, you only seem
to love yourself.
Ted, you don't even know what
the fuck
you're talking about man.
Hey get the fuck out of my way.
She's not no saint, now what
you telling
my boy Ted here?
Gotta all up in the clouds, she
ain't no saint, dude.
- Yeah, that's right.
You know what she did?
She brought another dude back
here to fuck him.
That's right, son.
Oh, you didn't know about that.
You didn't tell Ted all about
this shit?
Yeah, she got another dude back
here to fuck him
all because she thought that I
cheated on her,
which I did not, everyone
should know that
I did not cheat on her, that
shit should be canon by now.
Nate, just shut up.
What, what, Ted wants to make
he should make all the
She slept with some guy?
That's right.
So I'm supposed to be on your
side now?
Yeah, she's stupid.
Look man, I love her too, but
she's stupid
for sticking around with
your poot butt ass for so damn
Look man, she's a lady and you
like club hos.
This nigger, club hos?
Look man, we knew this wasn't
going to last, right?
Some clown that she met in the
look she would have been better
off with the rats.
Oh pump your breaks, nigger,
the fuck you talking about, you
you told him we
met on the subway?
How long are we staying?
- As long as you want.
- I want to leave now.
No stop it, come on
we're gonna have fun, yas?
You made it!
Of course, where's your boy?
Over there.
My niggas!
Okay, birthday boy getting
You ladies want some drinks?
They got bottled beer?
I think they got a Corona or
I'll take one of those.
Okay. For you?
Just give me something special,
surprise me.
All right, I'll be back.
Just give me something special.
You're just asking to get
Just being nice.
You hardly know him.
What is your problem?
You said you would try to have
a good time tonight.
And you told me we were going
to a movie.
This is better, come on, chill
out, mingle.
Or you can just call him back
and tell him
that you've changed your mind
and that you'll marry him and
move to Cleveland.
- Columbus.
- What?
Vincent wants to get married
and move to Columbus.
How is that better?
Dranks, dranks, dranks.
Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's
go, let's go.
Once upon a time in Kings
County Hospital,
a black boy was born,
this boy is all Brooklyn, he's
all black.
His is Bud Baxter. Today's his
I don't know a single
motherfucker here,
but I love you all tonight.
Thanks for showin' love.
Shawty, Shawty, Shawty
Shawty moves so dangerous
I can't explain it
She make it all
feel painless
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
looking for good
What up?
Happy birthday.
Oh, you know what, thanks.
Shouldn't you be DJing?
Yeah, but you know I'm tired,
I've been doing this all night,
I haven't even had
a chance to have my little
birthday beer yet,
so they all just chill and
listen to Shuffle.
It's a nice party.
I don't even know these people.
- But you are the birth--
- No no, you see,
Instagram, Facebook,, MySpace,
people just want to know where
the open bar is.
Well I'm not on my MySpace,
Facebook or Instagram.
You're not on Instagram?!?
My friend Cora.
I don't know who that is.
She came with Trent?
He said he was your boy.
No, no, I just didn't want to
celebrate 30 alone.
Well, that's depressing.
You sure don't know
anyone else at this party?
Um, I know those two guys over
there look like barbers.
Uh, I know that guy.
Oh. Well, I'm Melissa.
Now I know you. I'm Nate.
Why don't you tell me something
about yourself, Melissa?
Well, I really love teaching.
I'm a really good swimmer and I
don't know how to drive.
Tell me something about
I'm very lazy.
And I'm very high class.
I love to eat.
That's it?
I'm also pretty close to my
I can't explain it
She make it all
feel painless
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
looking for good
Looking for good times,
Looking for good times,
looking for good times
She said the love affair's
over folks
He found another one just to
hold her close
After all the lies and
trouble though
He broke her hurt and now
we're stuck on four below
She says she wants to lose it
just hold her
Melissa, wait.
So like normally when I would
see like art on a wall
I would be like put it in a
frame, but like
I'm okay with this, like this
isn't tacky, you know
I think it's like the
composition you know.
- Yeah.
- So do you do you
live here by yourself?
Yeah, I like love this
How do you even afford this?
I grew up here.
My mom owns this place, so I'm
never gonna leave.
Shit, well you let me know if
you want a roommate.
All right.
It's empty, do you mind?
No doubt.
- Melissa?
- I'm good.
This is you, kid.
Don't fuck it up, they want it.
- What are you doing?
- What?
- Leave.
- Are you kidding?
Do you see the chemistry that
we have?
You've trained for this, pace
You have a guy.
Yeah, well he turned out to be
a loser, so...
And you only discovered this
after having
your tongue down his
throat all night?
How else you gonna find out?
But who gets you first?
I mean what if I die during it?
I mean they're both pretty hot,
like an eight,
but what if they die during it?
I'm pretty hot, like a nine.
I can't handle no dead bodies.
He didn't even invite
you back here.
You just glommed on.
Oh, he wants me here,
believe that.
Yeah, the way
you're throwing it at him.
I don't have to throw
all of this.
What's wrong with you?
You don't even like Cora how
did she get back here?
Damn, these chicks stick
Oh shit, it's a cock block.
Damn it, I walked into another
cock block.
All right girl it's time for
you to go.
Okay, I will let you
have this one,
only because you
never have any fun.
I'm sure you'll make it up by
someone after church tomorrow.
Ah you see how you got bitch in
That's why you about to have
dick in you!
Who says that?
Gave it up on the
first night son!
Two out of three holes right
there, your sister.
Why are you playing with my man
Ted like that?
He don't know what
a freak you are?
Yo, you better shut
the fuck up man.
What are you saying, man?
What are you saying?
That's what she did, that's
what we're talking about,
that's what you wanted to know.
Yo Ted, it was just sex from
the giddy up,
straight up jump street, you
know why?
Because that's how I role man,
that's what Bud Baxter do.
Man, shut the fuck up.
What the fuck is wrong
with you nigger?
Oh now, I got this shit, I got
this shit, no man,
what's up, you want to step,
step to me man.
I'll take both you out
Oh really?
Let me explain
something to you Ted,
mixing it up, meet some couple
of hotty pants,
they want to get in your
fucking pants,
you bring them back to your
show them that's exposed brick,
they get all fucking wet. Those
panties come off, nigger.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Nate!
What, don't even act like I
wasn't gonna get
that threesome, that shit was
on the fucking table.
I could have had you both
upside down on a sex swing--
- Nate!
- Shut up Nate!
But it turned into a respectful
butt naked
sex for two because your sister
has such morals.
My dude!
- Ted, Ted, no.
- Fuck you.
My dude, you almost had the
triple cheeseburger.
With a best friend.
You my hero now.
Mosey, why you ain't say
I found out when the fight
jumped off.
Nate, if I was you, I'd lead
with that.
We giving niggers credit for
almost now?
If that's the case I can almost
hook you up with Deez.
Deez who?
- Deez nuts in your mouth!
- Oh!
- Got you, Chest!
- Deez nuts, deez nuts.
But you, seriously though,
so did he wear your out or what?
Are you serious dude?
Why would you automatically
assume that I got my ass kicked?
You cut hair.
So what's your saying is, if I
hadn't left
your birthday party early, I
could have taken Cora home?
Home to do what?
To show her pictures
of you and Jesus
at prom together you old
You know what to be
honest with you man.
Even if you would
have married ol' girl,
you and her brother
would have never got along.
To be honest, y'all probably
should have locked
hands months ago.
- That's what you get punk.
- Ted stop.
Bro calm down man or it's gonna
be you and me next time.
I ain't got a glass jaw.
- What the fuck?
- Call them like I see them.
You know what,
I'm calling the cops.
- No you're not.
- Oh yes I am.
To hell with that.
You can't do that, you know I
got a warrant.
I'm calling them, you don't
live here,
bring your big ass brother in
here to fuck me up,
no no no you all going down,
hell with that shit.
You broke my phone,
You're paying for that shit,
you know that right?
Fuck you!
- I'll pay for it.
- Really?
You're gonna by some more shit
for this man?
- Not now.
- Oh please
shut the fuck up! Shut up!
Can y'all let me go now, huh?
Bro, you gonna calm down?
Yeah, I'm good Hov. Damn,
Jigga Man.
Baby Gap shopping ass nigger.
Let's just stop talking okay?
Listen man, you want me to hang
in case he starts tripping
No man, I got this I
can handle it.
No actually you don't, that's
why I'm asking you.
His knuckles have had enough.
Listen man, if he starts
tripping again, don't call me.
All right, you know what you do
to defend yourself?
Pull your dick out.
Pull your dick and your balls
That's right, nobody want to
motherfucker got their dick out.
Some motherfuckers tried to
jack me one night,
you know what I did?
Pulled my dick out, right on
that's right, scattered like
Nobody gonna fight you with
your dick out, man.
- All right?
- All right.
Take care of yourself man.
- Got you.
- All right. Thank you.
Love you, boy.
Just pick up the other stuff.
I don't need your help, Nate.
You want to get out of here
sooner or not?
Next time you want to give
someone advice,
why don't you tell her to get
some movers?
My advice is not the reason
you cheated on Melissa, so
we're clear.
Can't you stop?
We could have worked this out,
you could have just kept your
mouth shut.
Kept my mouth shut for what?
For a man who doesn't respect
my friend?
Where do you get that from?
Shit like that.
Do you think it was appropriate
for you to tell her brother
anything about her sex life?
Okay, I get it, so you both to
get to put me on blast
but I can't say anything about
and that dude in my own bed?
And you don't have to make up
that shit about the threesome.
The fuck did I make up? That
shit was gonna happen.
Don't flatter yourself, Nate.
she tells me everything.
I already know you pop quicker
than a bag of Orville
There was never any chance of
us hooking up, I can assure you.
I seen you do a lot
worse than me.
Yeah, but you'll never do
better than Melissa.
You know what, you don't know
what's gonna happen,
the whole fucking thing is
I could have hooked up with you
that night
and then right now I'd be
breaking up with your ass.
No no no, I would have dumped
you much sooner.
No doubt, but that doesn't mean
you get to stand here
and put a hex on my whole damn
future love life.
For the record Nate, I don't
hate you.
I don't think I was asking.
I know somewhere deep in your
black twisted heart
you actually tried to be good
to her.
Oh, thanks, that's very
generous of you.
I heard about the
good stuff too.
Ooh nice.
It's just this thing you guys
do now,
where like, you want
to be kids forever
and you wear T-shirts and go to
superhero movies
on opening night instead of
watching the news
or reading a book, it's just
really shitty
for a woman who want to be with
real men.
You saying I'm not a man?
No, obviously you're a man,
but what was your
father doing at 35?
Or your grandfather?
I bet I wouldn't even question
their manhood
and I don't even know the dudes.
Maybe you will meet a
woman as great as Melissa
and maybe she'll meet
a guy that she loves
as much as she loves you.
Except he'll be a
man all the time,
not just when it's convenient
for him.
Shit, maybe you'll
both do better
and stop sucking at everything.
You're not a bad guy Nate,
you're just a bad boyfriend.
I should probably go see if
they need help
rearranging the van or
Yeah I doubt it and are you
gonna take a box?
I don't think that's what these
bowls are for.
Oh sorry.
It's okay,
but let's eat this looks really
good, you did a great job.
Thank you, I was trying to
impress you a little bit.
So what should we do after
Oh, whatever you want to do.
You don't have to work?
No, this whole evening is just
for you.
I mean I was thinking of
playing fewer parties anyway.
Why, Nate, you might actually
convince me
you're ready to settle down.
Oh snap.
What do you I have to
convince you like still?
What do you think
all of this is?
Now listen lady, we are not
married or anything,
but we have bills together, our
credit is intertwined.
I gave you my Netflix password.
I don't just throw that shit
- No you right, you right.
- You're stuck with me.
I'm like a tick. I'm gonna give
you Lyme disease of love.
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
This shit is serious.
Bonnie and Clyde,
Mary J and Method Man.
Ooh, that's some real love
right there.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- Okay.
- Can you handle that?
- Mm-hmm.
- All right,
Faith Evans and Biggie.
Don't die.
- Well, don't kill me.
- Ooh.
You like rocking these huh?
- You like them.
- Yes, I do like them,
you look damn sexy in them.
I just don't want you wearing
them to school
because some big ass sixth
grader might make you his woman.
Some of those sixth graders
don't take no for an answer.
I doubt you could take them.
That's how it is,
you would just up
and leave me for some kid.
I mean, what can I say?
I'm a vampire.
They trust you.
I didn't know that I was gonna
be with a vampire.
Oh ho ho.
I figured it was better than
your other backpack.
It's great, thank you,
I love it. Here.
Yeah, I saw you looking at
them, so...
Yeah, I was looking at them
Wait, you don't like them?
No, that's not true, they're
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Ah!
- Ah, Happy New Year!
- Happy new year.
- Thank you.
Oh this is
ew, no, where's the Hennessy,
where's the Hennessy?
- No this is--
- Oh oh, why?
You drink this shit?
- You gotta upgrade
your palate.
- Uh uh.
You don't know that at all.
I think that's where your
energy comes from.
That's the source of my energy?
It's all in the shoulder.
What are you doing? Come on!
We're almost done.
I'm sorry, I just need a moment.
You better not be changing your
I'm not, I'm just I'm really
gonna miss this neighborhood.
I swear I don't see what's so
special about it.
It's historical, I ever tell you
that Shirley Chisholm lived
around the corner?
- Nah.
- And Laurence Fishburne.
At least that's what one of the
neighbors told me.
So you stuck on this place
because Cornbread, Earl and Me
used to live out here?
That's cool and all, but I
don't really care.
Mamasita Reyes
wants her van back by six.
I just want to appreciate
the history of this
History is for people that
are afraid to learn
something new.
Enjoy your new place.
A place I'm gonna go broke
paying rent in.
I should have got a roommate.
At least you saved a ton of
money living with this clown.
I pay $450 a month.
His mom charges him $900 a
month to live here?
I know right, she's actually
being nice.
That's a fact.
Cheap rent in Brooklyn is a
powerful aphrodisiac.
See there you go getting into
TMI territory again.
I already learned enough about
you today.
Come on, Cornbread, you help me
get this van back by six.
I'll get you a soda pop.
- Melissa.
- What?
I'm sorry.
I've owed you that
for some time.
Well, today's not
about what I'm owed
and besides, you don't even know
what you're apologizing for.
Well, not specifically but I
know that I hurt you
I love you and I lost
sight of that and
ya know we made mistakes, I
made mistakes, you made mistakes
but we can still forgive each
and I really need you to
forgive me right now.
You have to believe me.
I do believe you, Nate.
We're a good match.
We were once.
When we were fighting, it just
came out of nowhere.
First it was nowhere, then it
was everywhere.
You remember when you first
moved here?
How we used to shower together?
I don't think I showered alone
at all that first year.
How did that stop?
- Nate.
- Please listen to me.
Say what?
I've given you every chance to
say anything and everything
and you know what you've said?
Nothing. Nothing.
- I'm saying it now.
I-don't want to hear it now.
What do you want me to do?
- Tell me what you
want me to do.
- I want you to let me go.
Please, just stay here.
Why are you moving?
Nate, we can't live together we
tried we failed.
If you stayed, we can do this.
That's your big motivational
Nate, that's crazy and I've
spent enough time
being crazy over you. And, Nate,
you spent enough time being
crazy over me, too.
We don't work.
We do work, you're still here,
you're still talking to me,
something's keeping you here.
You're still holding my hand--
Other than that.
There's still a chance.
- Nate, there's no chance.
- Really?
- Even after this morning?
- Forget about this morning.
No, this morning happened,
You don't feel anything when
I'm standing this close to you?
When I'm holding your hands
this way?
You don't remember this? You
don't feel anything?
Why? Stop. Stop!
- You kissed me this morning.
- Why are you doing this?
Maybe that's why you shouldn't
Maybe I should, if all we're
good for
is three minutes in the bedroom.
We're not good for three
minutes in the bedroom.
We're good right here, these
This isn't real?
This doesn't feel honest?
This... tell me something
honest right now.
Tell me what you're feeling.
- Nate I--
- No, just honesty, go.
I'm gonna miss the floors here.
- Is it my turn?
- Sure.
- I want to kiss you.
- Don't.
- I said don't.
- You don't feel anything?
I said don't.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Crying like a baby with
shit-stained lollipop?
This dude.
I don't know what I was
Yeah, I know what
you were thinking
you were thinking the
yellow-faced emoji
with the hearts for eyes,
that's what you were thinking.
That's what happens when you
take them goodbye fucks too far.
Every time.
Nate, all you young fellows
listen up,
see you all have watched too
much Oprah
and too many Denzel movies
and you think you
have to be oh sensitive.
What that get you?
On your face, on your face.
You two ever been caught up in
this kind of mess?
- No.
- No.
Lying niggers, right there.
Both of you, both of you.
You never made no mistakes?
You all perfect?
I'm on my face, but you're all
perfect right?
- Damn near it.
- Uh huh.
He probably leaving out the part
where he was on his knees
What did you do?
That's private.
You don't have anything private
concerning her anymore.
He has some nerve.
So what after some magical kiss
you're just supposed to say?
I did feel something Cora.
Of course you felt something
you're in love.
- I am.
- You're in love,
not captivity.
- You're a man, I guess.
I mean you have men friends,
if a guy like you can have
Get on with it.
See I hope that you have a lot
of friends
because you're gonna need them
to get off a woman like her.
Okay Ted, uh, you know loving
your sister is great,
it's very noble and shit, but
you are making it
very creepy right now.
You know why you'll always be
Tell me.
Why am I leaving?
How was this any worse than
other fight we've had?
Do you really need a reason?
Yes, right now I do.
Just one?
Just one.
You're selfish.
He's selfish.
And a smart woman like her can
smell a selfish guy
like you coming a mile away.
And you're not.
You give too much.
Believe me, I should know, I'm
selfish, too.
So then you're gonna be left
with the stupid girls
but you'll get bored with the
stupid girls,
because believe it or not,
you're a smart guy, Nate.
But just because you've made
some bad decisions
doesn't mean you have to live
with them, literally.
So without the dumb girls, what
else is there?
Your mother.
I mean a lot of guys do end up
with their momma.
If you don't leave today,
you're gonna be counting down
the days until you have to
leave again.
See look, don't be that guy.
Not here.
Be that guy with your friends,
but here, you don't have any
What's up?
Who is Karen?
I don't know.
You got her number in the pocket
of the jeans you worse last
night, but you don't know.
What, you going through my
jeans now?
I am doing your laundry because
I'm a kind person and I love you
but I guess me being kind is
just me being a fool.
I don't know who she is.
- Don't lie to me.
I-'m not lying.
- I'm not.
- No, you ain't sleeping.
We talking about this.
If we can do it all over
I really want to try again
If we can do it all over
I really want to try again
Try again, try again, try
Try again, try again, try
Try again, try again
- What are we doing?
- What?
It's just that you seem okay
with the way things are going
and things are not good, Nate.
Things suck.
- You haven't noticed?
- Yeah.
What are we doing?
What we said we would.
We're staying together. Being
That's what this is about now,
a promise?
If we aren't making plans
we're just wasting time
- So that's it?
- No, I mean
I don't want to waste anymore
of your time tonight, so...
That's all you have to say
about that?
I'm wasting your time--
Just wasting your time so--
- So that's it, you don't
give a shit about it,
you don't care?
I give a shit, but you know
if we're wasting time, might as
well use the time to sleep.
You're just gonna give up then?
Is that what this is?
You just giving up?
- Is there more?
- I mean asked you a question.
And I answered it.
Okay, okay, okay good to know.
Thank God.
Leaving me,
where you gonna go
Can I just check to make sure?
I can't leave you be if I
wanted to
Honestly I can't stand see
you with someone else
So come back to me
You tell me that I ain't
right for you
But what do you know
These belong to you Nate.
I could fight until my dying
Yeah, you should keep them in
case you know.
These belong to you Nate.
The air that I breathe
Hold onto your sweetness
You know I became the man
I always wanted to be when I
was with you?
Too bad that man was never home.
Leaving me where
you gonna go
I can't let you be if I
wanted to
Honestly, I can't stand to
see you with someone else
So come back to me
Leaving me where
you gonna go
I can't let you be if I
wanted to
Honestly, I can't stand to
see you with someone else
So come back to me
You said this was
over at the start
I'll never know why
I just need to hold you in my
You don't sympathize
Yeah, Ma, nah it's... pshh I
ain't worried about that.
Nah, she's gone, I'm good, I'm
good, no.
All right, no you were right,
you were right, but you know.
It's my bed it's
I'm not worried about that,
All right.
No. I'm gonna be cool. I'm
gonna be totally... yeah.
All right all right bye.
Can I get some money?
Okay, no no I'm cool I'm cool.
All right all right.
That's why you never buy a
chick kicks.
She will definitely kick that
ass to the curb trust me.
I hope you threw
them things away.
Nah, actually I'm trying to
figure out
what to do with them.
Man, but you can't keep them,
that's bad mojo.
I hate to say it, man, but
Chester's right.
Man, what are you all blind?
Even Stevie Wonder can see,
this dude is not trying to give
up them sneakers.
Hold up, when somebody leaves
something behind,
doesn't it mean that they
secretly want to come back?
Air Jesus are you for real?
Nate, stop the drugs.
Yo Nate, it means that they was
in such a rush to leave
that they didn't care what they
left behind.
The point of no return in this
relationship, bruh,
was when Ted kicked your ass.
That was it, curtain call baby.
Look man, she wasn't
in a rush okay?
She didn't like him at first,
but you know what she wore them
all the time.
Why because they meant
something to her,
because I meant something to
her you get that?
Yeah but why are you keeping
them, huh?
Is she gonna call you and you
gonna run over
with the sneaker ambulance or
Oh Lord.
This boy's gone.
See that's exactly what I'm
talking about right there.
What are you doing later, bruh?
Let's go out and get some
drinks, man.
Get us some rebound pussy.
I'll let you wear my chain.
I go with you.
Fuck the chain and I take his
rebound pussy.
Don't do it, Nate, don't do it
to yourself.
Walking around all bitter with
your chest held tight.
Don't turn out like Chester.
Fuck you.
That was fucked up.
Why do you gotta
call my name for?
What I done to you?
Where are you?
In my room.
- Where are you?
- At home.
Where else would I be?
Friday night, a BMCC orgy.
Oh, this is why you called me?
I'm bored.
You miss me?
I miss you too.
It's not like I'm gonna keep on
calling you or anything
I just... I wanted to
hear your voice.
No, it's okay.
It's okay, I wanted to hear
your voice, too.
But you didn't call me?
You sound surprised.
I am.
Well, I figured you just needed
your space
and even if you didn't, you
would just tell me you did.
You have me all figured out.
If I had you all figured out,
I'd still have you.
What are you doing?
What? Sleeping... in our bed.
Oh wow.
I've been out the joint two
and a brotha can already sleep
like a baby.
You see why you foul?
I'm tired.
Talking about loving somebody,
kill that noise.
Oh man, I was awake the whole
night when you left.
The whole night. You probably
went out clubbing with Cora.
You answered the phone like
I was calling about your Wi-Fi
Your mother says hi.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Now who's foul?
I'm meeting her for dinner on
You know she really blames you
for messing this up.
Shit you tell her to get her
ass in line then.
Hate you.
You so wish you did.
How's your new place?
It's nice, I like it.
I gotta get used to it, though,
you know.
It was kind of scary last night.
Weird new noises, the bed was
I knew I was just a bed warmer.
I'm wearing those thick socks
you like.
Okay, now I only like those
when you wear nothin' but a
T-shirt with them,
the effect gets lost when you
put on
those bulky pajamas of yours.
So which one was it?
The T-shirt or the bulky
Wouldn't you like to know?
- I'd like to know
what you're wearing now.
I'm definitely not
telling you that.
- It's the T-shirt.
- Shut up.
It's the T-shirt
and those flannel short shorts,
got your legs out, oh snap!
It is not it's the gray baggy
Stop lying you wear those
sweatpants on laundry day
or if it's cold out or you're
gonna take
the garbage out to front, but
don't mess with me,
that's not no bed shit.
You got on those flannel boxers
right now.
You're impossible.
- I left my sneakers.
- You left your sneakers here.
I mean I could just put them in
the mail for you.
I'm not giving you my address.
Okay fine.
I could come pick them up.
I don't have to stay long.
No no no you can just duck in
and out.
- I mean unless
you wanted to get lunch or
something like that.
Oh yeah.
Would you want to get lunch?
That or you know I could just
meet you
somewhere with the kicks?
Oh no no no, don't go out of
your way.
- I can come over.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Do you want to
I don't know, like tomorrow at
- Yeah, that works.
- All right.
Good night.
Can't believe that after all
this time
You don't feel the same
If there's reason for you
leaving me
I guess I'm to blame
I promised that we would last
Don't make me a liar we can't
get better
Leaving me where
you goin' to go
I can't let you be if I
wanted to
Honestly, I can't stand to
see you with someone else
So come back to me
Leaving me where
you goin' to go
I can't let you be if I
wanted to
Honestly, I can't stand to
see you with someone else
So come back to me
Gorillas out the mist is what
you like
Coolest monkeys in the
jungle, right
Roaches scatter when you
flick the lights
Roaches scamper when you hit
the lights
What we thinking, what we
outta mind?
What we thinking, wanting
better lives?
People winning yo, it's only
Coldest monarchs in the
struggle, right?
My hittas, they going through
Some in cuffs, oh so
But you anxious, blowing
Same product, but we face the
Couple sinners here will take
your life
P-D 'em when they out of line
Outta of sight youngin' outta
On that modern day colonize
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
I ain't see God till I saw
If they can't divide and
Some rather watch it just all
If they can't divide and
Come get the soft serve
Better off with we're
Better off when aggression's
Better off when you're lesser
Better when you think we
don't matter
Stuck on forever it's our
Lineage sing it in concert
If they can't divide and
Some rather just watch it all
On my G-O-D, we gonna die
We ain't dying lacking We
gon' die laughing
We of royal blood
We beyond lashes
We gonna oil money up,
Black magic and it's
Black magic and it's
In the end, only the times
Or this just an End of the
Times matter
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
I ain't see God till I saw
If they can't divide and
Some rather watch it just all
If they can't divide and
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
Come get the soft serve
I ain't see God till I saw
If they can't divide and
Some rather watch it just all
If they can't divide and
Come get the soft serve