Onward (2020) Movie Script
1
WILDEN: Long ago,
the world was full of wonder.
(WHINNYING)
It was adventurous...
exciting...
and best of all...
there was magic.
Boombastia!
(GASPS)
(KIDS EXCLAIM)
WILDEN: And that magic
helped all in need.
Flame Infernar!
-(BOTH GRUNTING)
-(GROWLING)
(GRUNTS)
Voltar Thundasir!
(EXCLAIMING)
(YELPING)
WILDEN: But it wasn't easy
to master.
And so the world found
a simpler way to get by.
I call it the light bulb.
(ALL GASP)
'Tis so easy. (LAUGHS)
Huh.
(CROWD GASPS)
-(CHUCKLES)
-(APPLAUDS)
WILDEN: Over time...
...magic faded away.
(GRUNTS)
(SNARLS)
But I hope...
(ALARM RINGING)
...there's
a little magic left...
in you.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
FITNESS CYCLOPS: (ON SPEAKERS)
All right.
We're gonna get
Warrior Z90 fit.
Let me hear you say,
"I'm a mighty warrior."
I'm a mighty warrior.
Morning, Mom.
(YIPPING)
(GROANS)
Oh! Blazey, down!
Bad dragon! Back to your lair.
Happy birthday, Mr. Adult Man.
No, Mom.
Hey, buddy. Don't wipe off
my kisses. (GASPS SOFTLY)
What?
You're wearing
your dad's sweatshirt.
Oh. You know. Finally fits.
Aw, my little chubby cheeks
is all grown up!
Okay, okay. Mom, I gotta eat
something before school.
Ah, we don't have much food.
I still have to go
to the grocery store.
Ah, hands off, mister.
Those are
for your party tonight.
It's not a party, Mom.
It's just us.
You could invite those kids
from your science class.
You said
they seem pretty rockin'.
I'm, uh, pretty sure
I didn't say it like that.
And besides,
I don't even know them.
Well, your birthday's a day
to try new things.
-Be the new you.
-(WHIRRING)
Speaking of trying new things,
did you sign up
for driving practice?
No! (CLEARS THROAT) No.
I know you're a little scared
to drive, sweetie pie, but...
I'm not scared, Mom.
I'm gonna move Barley's game.
LAUREL: Okay, but you know
how he gets when someone
-touches that board.
-(THUDS)
(GASPS) Well, he's gotta learn
how to clean up his toys.
-Halt!
-(GASPS)
Doth my brother dare disrupt
an active campaign?
Oh, come on!
You know, Ian,
in the days of old,
a boy of 16
would have
his strength tested
in the Swamps of Despair.
I'm not testing anything.
Just let me go.
Let him go.
-Okay.
-(THUDS)
But I know you're stronger
than that.
There's a mighty warrior
inside of you.
You just have to let him out.
Right, Mom? (GRUNTS)
-(LAUREL GRUNTING)
-Oh, that's good.
-LAUREL: Barley! You stink!
-(BARLEY LAUGHING)
When was the last time
you showered?
If you tried a little harder,
you actually could
-probably wiggle out of this.
-(GRUNTS)
(GROANING) See? Mom knows how
to let out her inner warrior.
Thank you.
Now, take out the trash.
GORE: (ON RADIO) Stay on the
lookout for a runaway griffin.
Ah, Officer Bronco.
Barley, Barley, Barley.
Every time the city tries
to tear down
an old piece of rubble,
I gotta drag my rear end
out here and deal with you.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, really?
I will not let you tear down
this fountain.
Ancient warriors
on grand quests
drank from its flowing water.
-(GRUNTS)
-(ALL LAUGH)
Barley.
They're destroying
the town's past.
Ugh. Well, come on in.
Rest your haunches
for a minute.
Thank you, hon.
Ugh.
Hey there, birthday boy.
So, ya workin' hard
or hardly workin'? (LAUGHS)
I'm just, you know,
making toast.
LAUREL: I'm serious, Barley,
you need to start thinking
less about the past
and more about your future.
Ah, she's right.
You can't spend all day
playing your board game.
(GRUNTS)
Quests of Yore
isn't just a board game.
It's a historically-based
role-playing scenario.
Did you know, in the old days,
centaurs could run
70 miles an hour?
I own a vehicle.
Don't need to run.
Well, Ian,
you could definitely
learn a lot
from Quests of Yore.
-You wanna play?
-I don't.
You could be
a crafty rogue or...
Ooh! I know!
You can be a wizard.
I shall cast a spell on thee!
Hey! Careful of
Dad's sweatshirt!
I don't even remember Dad
wearing that sweatshirt.
Well, you do only have,
like, two memories of him.
No, I've got three.
I remember
his beard was scratchy,
he had a goofy laugh,
and I used to play
-drums on his feet.
-Drums on his feet. Right.
I used to go...
(SCATTING, FLAPS LIPS)
-Whoa!
-Five-second rule. Hah!
(BOTH GASP)
It's okay.
You just got to pull it.
-(RIPS)
-No!
Barley!
Uh, you know...
I'm just gonna get some food
on the way to school.
I'll sew that later tonight,
okay?
Wait, wait, wait.
By the laws of yore,
I must dub thee a man today.
Kneel before me.
Oh! That's okay.
I gotta get going.
All right, well,
I'll pick you up later.
We'll perform
the ceremony at school.
Oh! No, no, no, no.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Okay, bye!
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey!
Go Griffins!
What?
You go to Willowdale College?
Oh, no. This was my dad's.
Lightfoot?
Wilden Lightfoot?
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
You're kidding.
I went to college with him.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Boy, I was so sorry to hear
that he passed away.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know, your dad was
a great guy. So confident.
When he came into a room,
people noticed. (CHUCKLES)
The man wore the ugliest
purple socks every single day.
What? Why?
Hey, that's exactly
what we asked.
But he was just bold.
I always wished I had
a little bit of that in me.
Yeah. Wow. I've never heard
any of this about him before.
-What else do you remember?
-Dad!
Oh, sorry. Gotta get this guy
off to school.
Hey, it was nice meeting you.
Yeah. You, too.
Huh.
Bold.
(CLICKS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
TEACHER: Okay, class.
Sit down. We're starting roll.
Hey, uh, Gorgamon. Um...
Would you mind not putting
your feet on my chair today?
Sorry, dude.
Got to keep them elevated.
Gets the blood flowing
to my brain.
It just makes it a little hard
for me to fit in there.
Well, if I don't have
good blood flow,
I can't concentrate
on my schoolwork.
You don't want me to do bad
in school, do you?
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
No.
Thanks, bro.
(SIGHS)
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
-First road test.
Any volunteers?
A left here.
Now, take this on-ramp
for the freeway.
Okay, yeah.
I'm, uh, super ready for that.
Uh...
It's nice and fast.
INSTRUCTOR:
Just merge into traffic.
Yep.
Just any minute.
-Merge into traffic.
-Uh...
Merge into traffic!
(STUDENTS EXCLAIMING)
I'm not ready!
Pull over.
-(STUDENTS MURMURING)
-(IAN SIGHS)
All right. So, what should
we do this weekend?
Move to a cooler town?
Oh, hey.
What up, dudes? Um...
I'm, uh, having
a party tonight,
and I was wondering if
you wanted to come over
and get down on some cake.
(GROANS) That's not something
anyone says.
Okay, don't say "dudes."
"Gang"?
What's up, gang?
What's up, gang?
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey.
What's up, gang?
Oh, hey. Uh, Ian, right?
Oh! I didn't know
you knew my...
Anyway...
uh, if you like parties,
then I'm...
I was gonna do a party...
-What?
-What I was trying to say is
if you're not doing
anything tonight...
but I'm sure you probably
are doing something tonight...
and you like cake
like I like cake,
I've got a cake at my house.
Are you inviting us
to a party?
That's the one.
Oh. Yeah, we don't have
any plans.
-Yeah, okay.
-Totally.
Really?
I guess we can just take
the bus over to my house.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(METAL MUSIC BLARING
ON CAR STEREO)
Oh, no, no, no.
Ha-ha! Is that
the birthday boy I see?
Behold! Your chariot awaits!
Do you know that guy?
-Uh...
-Sir Iandore of Lightfoot.
Seems like he's talking
to you.
Hey, Ian!
(BLARES HORN)
Hey, Barley.
Yeah, we were actually gonna
take the bus.
The bus? Nay!
I will give you
and your companions
transport upon Guinevere.
Um, who's Guinevere?
My mighty steed.
-(CLANGS)
-Oh. That's embarrassing.
That's okay, girl.
Patch you back up.
(SIGHS)
He's just joking around.
(CHUCKLES) You've got
something on your face.
Oh, no. You... just...
Wait, no. It's... No...
Oh! Uh...
You know what?
I just remembered
that my birthday
is, uh, canceled.
-What?
-IAN: I mean, the party.
Uh, it was never
actually happening.
It was just
this huge misunderstanding.
So, I got to go.
Okay. Bye!
(GRUNTING)
Ooh. Whoops! Sorry.
Let me just file those.
(GRUNTS)
Hey, did those kids write
on your face?
-Here. I'll get it.
-(GRUNTS)
Can we please just go home?
Okay, well, we'll perform
your birthday ceremony later.
Then you'll be ready
for adulthood
and its gauntlet
of challenges.
You know, in ancient times,
you celebrated
your day of birth
with a solemn quest.
Of course, those were nothing
compared to the challenges
of the old days.
Mom?
Mom?
LAUREL: Will, you're not gonna
get that thing working.
WILDEN: I think I've got it.
LAUREL: I'm gonna watch
from over here
for when it blows up.
WILDEN: Hello? Hello?
LAUREL: I'll bet good money
you can't get it to work.
WILDEN: Oh, is that right?
LAUREL: Yep.
But you're doing a good job of
making it look like you know
what you're doing.
WILDEN: (LAUGHING)
Well, I'm trying to.
LAUREL: Did you check
if it had batteries?
(WILDEN LAUGHING)
LAUREL: Of course you didn't.
WILDEN: I know.
LAUREL:
So, is it really working?
WILDEN: Let's find out.
Okay. Bye.
(TAPE CLICKS)
(CASSETTE REWINDS)
(BUTTON CLICKS)
LAUREL: Will, you're not going
to get that thing working.
WILDEN: I think I've got it.
LAUREL: I'm gonna watch
from over here
for when it blows up.
Hi, Dad.
WILDEN: Hello? Hello?
It's me, Ian.
WILDEN: Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
Did you have a good day?
(LAUGHING)
Well, I'm trying to.
Yeah. Me, too.
Although, I could clearly use
some help. (CHUCKLES)
(WILDEN LAUGHING ON TAPE)
I sure do wish I could spend
the day with you sometime.
I know.
Well, there are so many things
we could do.
I bet it'd be really fun.
Let's find out.
Yeah. I mean, I'd love to.
We could, uh...
-Okay. Bye.
-(TAPE CLICKS)
Yeah.
Bye.
Oh, my...
Barley, keep your soldiers
off my land
or our kingdoms
will go to war!
BARLEY: Sorry, Mom!
Oh, this is the world's
longest gap year.
Honey, I was gonna do that.
It's okay.
Wow! You must have been taught
by some kind of sewing master.
Yeah. A very humble
sewing master. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
What was Dad like
when he was my age?
Was he always super confident?
Oh, no.
It took him a while
to find out who he was.
I wish I'd met him.
Oh, me, too.
But, hey, you know,
when your dad got sick,
he fought so hard
because he wanted to meet you
more than anything.
You know what?
I have something for you.
I was gonna wait
until after cake,
but I think you've waited
long enough.
What is it?
It's a gift from your dad.
What do you mean,
it's from Dad?
I don't know. Mom said
it was for both of us.
BARLEY: What is it?
He just said to give you this
when you were both over 16.
I have no idea what it is.
(GASPS) No way!
It's a wizard staff.
-Dad was a wizard.
-What?
Hold on, your dad was
an accountant.
I mean, he got interested
in a lot of strange things
when he got sick, but...
There's a letter.
"Dear Ian and Barley,
"long ago, the world
was full of wonder.
"It was adventurous,
exciting,
"and best of all,
there was magic.
"And that magic
helped all in need.
"But it wasn't easy to master.
"And so the world found
a simpler way to get by.
"Over time,
magic faded away,
"but I hope there's
a little magic left in you.
"And so I wrote this spell,
so I could see for myself
"who my boys grew up to be."
"Visitation Spell."
BARLEY: I don't believe this.
This spell brings him back.
For one whole day,
Dad will be back.
-What?
-Back? Like back to life?
That's not possible.
It is with this!
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
I'm gonna meet Dad?
Oh, Will, you wonderful nut.
What is this?
Now, a spell this powerful
needs an assist element.
And, I mean, for this to work,
Dad would've had to find
a Phoenix Gem!
Wow.
There's only
a few of these left.
Hold on! Is this dangerous?
We're about to find out.
-Ah!
-What?
-Splinter.
-(BOTH SIGH)
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
(BLAZEY CHITTERS)
Hold on.
I was just grippin' it wrong.
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
"Only once is all we get,
"grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
"One day to walk the earth."
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
Barley.
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry you guys
don't have your dad here,
but this shows just how much
he wanted to see you both.
So much
that he'd try anything.
That's still
a pretty special gift.
Yeah.
(BARLEY SIGHS)
(BLAZEY TRILLS)
Hey, wanna come with me
to pick up your cake?
That's okay. Thanks, Mom.
(KISSES)
(SIGHS)
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
(GASPS)
"Till tomorrow's sun
has set...
(GASPS)
"one day to walk the earth."
Hey, man,
what are you doing in here?
Holy Tooth of Zadar!
How did you...?
I don't know. It just started.
(YELPS)
Whoa! Feet!
(WHIMPERS)
(STRAINING)
Hang on. I can help!
Barley, no!
(BOTH YELL)
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Dad?
-(BOTH GASP)
-He's just legs.
There's no top part.
I definitely remember
Dad having a top part!
Oh, what did I do?
This is horrible.
Uh...
Hello?
It's really him.
Dad, you are in your house.
Whoa, whoa!
(GROANS) He can't hear us.
What are you doing?
(SCATTING)
That's right, Dad.
It's me, Barley.
Yeah, that's Ian.
Hi, Dad.
(GROANS) I messed
this whole thing up.
Now he's gonna be
legs forever.
No, not forever.
The spell only lasts one day.
At sunset tomorrow,
he'll disappear,
and we'll never be able
to bring him back again.
Okay, okay, okay. 24 hours.
That doesn't give us
much time, but...
(SIGHS)
(BEEPS)
Well, we'll just have to do
the spell again.
You mean you have to.
A person can only do magic
if they have the gift.
And my little brother
has the magic gift.
Okay! Okay.
But I couldn't even finish
the spell.
Well, you're gonna have
plenty of time to practice.
'Cause we have to find
another Phoenix Gem.
(GASPS)
(BARLEY MUTTERING)
A-ha! We'll start at the place
where all quests begin.
The Manticore's Tavern.
It's run
by a fearless adventurer.
She knows where to find
any kind of gem,
talisman, totem...
Barley, this is for a game.
Based on real life.
How do we know this tavern
-is still there?
-It's there.
Look, my years of training
have prepared me
for this very moment.
And I'm telling you,
this is the only way
to find a Phoenix Gem.
Trust me.
Whatever it takes,
I am gonna meet my dad.
You hear that, Dad?
We're going on a quest.
-(ENGINE STALLING)
-Come on, Guinevere.
Uh, maybe we should
just take the bus.
-She's fine.
-(ENGINE STARTS)
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BARLEY LAUGHING)
(BULB CRACKLING)
(GRUNTS)
Anyway, it's just, like,
this award for math.
It's no big deal.
But I'll show you
when we get back home.
Hey, uh, what are you two
Chatty Charlies up to
back there?
You know, I felt weird
talking to Dad
without a top half, so...
ta-da!
Oh, that's great!
Dad, you look
just like I remember.
Hey, don't worry, we'll have
the rest of you here
before you know it.
And then,
first thing I'm gonna do,
introduce you to Guinevere.
Rebuilt this old girl myself,
from the lug nuts
to the air conditioning.
-(AIR BLASTING)
-(IAN GRUNTING)
Showing Dad your van?
-That's your whole list?
-What list?
-Oh.
-What's that?
I'm just working
on a list of things
I wanted to do with Dad.
You know,
play catch, take a walk,
driving lesson,
share my whole life story
with him.
That's cool.
Oh. But before you cast Dad's
spell again, you're gonna
-have to practice your magic.
-(GRUNTS)
IAN: (SIGHS)
This book is for a game.
I told you,
everything in Quests of Yore
is historically accurate.
Even the spells.
So start practicing,
young sorcerer.
(SIGHS) Okay, Dad.
Let's try some magic.
LAUREL: Hey, sweetie?
Ugh! Blazey. Oh, this dragon
is always under my feet.
Honey, you want some cake?
(GASPS)
(SNIFFING)
Aloft Elevar. Aloft Elevar.
I can't get
this levitation spell to work.
Maybe I could try
something else
-like Arcane Lightning?
-(SCOFFS)
Yeah, like a level-one mage
could bust out
the hardest spell in
the Enchanter's Guide Book.
(CHUCKLING) Maybe we'll stick
with the easy ones.
Yeah, well, it's not working.
Am I saying it wrong?
Well, mmm, you said it right.
It's just,
for any spell to work,
you have to speak
from your heart's fire.
-My what?
-Your heart's fire.
You must speak with passion.
Don't hold back.
Aloft Elevar!
No, like Aloft Elevar.
Aloft Elevar!
No, from your heart's fire!
-Aloft Elevar!
-Don't hold back.
-Aloft Elevar!
-Heart's fire!
Stop saying "heart's fire."
This just clearly
isn't working. (SIGHS)
Hey, it was a good start.
(SIGHS)
Oh. Gather your courage, men.
We've arrived.
The Manticore's Tavern.
Huh. It is still here.
Yeah, I told you.
Come on, Dad. That's good.
BARLEY: All right, listen.
First, let me do the talking.
Secondly, it's crucial we show
the Manticore
the respect she deserves,
or she will, thirdly, not give
us a map to the Phoenix Gem.
Wait, wait, wait. The map?
I thought she had
a Phoenix Gem.
(CHUCKLING) You're so cute.
Hear that, Dad?
He's a smart kid, he just
doesn't know how quests work.
Well, is there anything else
you're forgetting to tell me?
Mmm. No.
ALL:
Happy happy birthday
Come join us on a quest
To make your birthday party
The very, very best
Hey!
Okay, okay, so the tavern
changed a little
over the years,
but the Manticore
is still the real deal.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I'll have the soup of the day.
Would my lord
like a cup or cauldron?
(GROANS)
Madam, I request an audience
with the Manticore.
But of course, milord.
(BLARES HORN)
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Oh, Manticore!
(LAUGHING)
No. No, no, no.
The real Manticore.
-The fearless adventurer.
-(COSTUMED MANTICORE SIGHS)
Oh. You mean Corey?
She's over there.
(GASPS) Quick!
Somebody help me.
These griffin nuggets were
supposed to go out
minutes ago. (GRUNTING)
That's the Manticore?
Oh, great and powerful
Manticore.
Whoa! Sir, you're right
in the hot zone.
You're late, Adolphus.
(BARKING)
I understand there's traffic.
You need to plan for that.
(GRUMBLING)
Well, maybe your mother should
get her own car! (SIGHS)
-Your fearlessness?
-(GASPS)
My brother and I seek a map
to a Phoenix Gem.
Oh! Well, you've come to
the right tavern. Table 12.
I have the parchment
you desire right here. Behold!
Oh. That's a children's menu.
Isn't that fun? They're all
based on my old maps.
Uh, now...
The great Manticore sends you
on your adventure
with a hero's blessing.
And here's some crayons.
That's very amusing,
your dominance,
but might you have
the real map?
Uh, yeah.
It's, uh, over there.
(GASPS) That's it.
-This is perfect.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
You can't take this.
We have to.
(GASPS) What is that?
(GROANS)
It's our dad. And we have
a chance to meet him, but...
But we can't do that
without a Phoenix Gem.
No! My days of sending people
on dangerous quests are over.
What? Why?
(CHUCKLES)
'Cause they're dangerous.
Corey, the karaoke machine's
broken again.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, but you are
not getting this map.
Don't worry, ladies,
your adventure will continue
momentarily. (CHUCKLES)
Okay, I can handle this.
-(SIGHS)
-No, Ian.
Miss mighty Manticore,
ma'am...
What are you doing?
Kid, this is not a good time.
Ugh. I'm giving this place
a one-star review.
It's just,
I've never met my dad and...
Look, I'm sorry about that.
But if you get hurt
on one of my quests,
guess who gets sued
and loses her tavern?
I can't take
that kind of risk.
Now, if you'll just excuse me,
I have important things to do.
-Testing. (ECHOING)
-(FEEDBACK WHINES)
You haunt my dreams
My inbetweens
(SIGHS)
Please, we need that map.
No, I am not giving you
the map.
That's it! I am done talking.
-Well, I'm not!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You say you can't risk
losing this place.
Look at that Manticore.
She looks
like she lived to take risks.
That Manticore didn't have
investors to look out for.
She didn't have payroll
to cover.
She could just
fly out the door
whenever she wanted
and slay a magma beast.
Are you gonna fix
the machine or not?
Yeah, in a minute.
Okay, maybe this place isn't
as adventurous
as it used to be.
So it isn't filled
with a motley horde
willing to risk life and limb
for the mere taste
of excitement.
-(BLOWS)
-But so what?
Who ever said
you have to take risks in life
to have an adventure?
Apparently, you did.
Table 32 said their
mozzarella sticks are cold.
What have I done?
Well, it's not too late.
I mean, you could just
give us the map.
This place
used to be dangerous.
COSTUMED MANTICORE: Dangerous!
-And wild!
-COSTUMED MANTICORE: Wild!
I used to be
dangerous and wild!
Dangerous and wild!
(LAUGHING)
-(ROARS)
-(YELLING)
(ROARS)
-(ALL GASP)
-Wow.
I'm living a lie!
What have I become?
Oh, no.
-(ROARS)
-(BOTH GASP)
Everybody out!
This tavern is closed
for remodeling. (ROARS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Sorry, the karaoke machine
is broken!
(ROARS)
Oh.
(BOTH GASP)
No! No, no, no!
No.
We gotta go!
(GRUNTS)
(CREAKING)
(GASPS)
Aloft Elevar!
(GASPS)
(STRAINING)
(LAUGHING)
That was unbelievable.
I mean, you were just like...
(VOCALIZING)
and the beam
was just floating there!
My brother is a wizard.
I can't believe that worked.
Oh! You're gonna nail
Dad's spell now.
Except we don't have a map.
But we've got this. Behold!
(SIGHS)
Look, on a quest, you have
to use what you've got.
And this is what we've got.
Best part is, little Kayla
already solved the puzzle.
Well, according to Kayla,
we just have to look
for Raven's Point.
Raven's Point. Raven's Point.
Yes! The gem
must be in the mountain.
We could be there
by tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning?
That still gives us
plenty of time with Dad.
(SIGHS)
Yeah. Well, it looks like
the expressway should take us
right there.
Mmm. Expressway is
a little too obvious.
On a quest, the clear path
is never the right one.
What?
During one
Quests of Yore campaign,
Shrub Rosehammer and I
took the easy route,
led him straight into the
belly of a gelatinous cube.
Only reason
I didn't suffer the same fate?
I followed my gut.
And it's telling me
we take an ancient trail
called the Path of Peril.
IAN: But the expressway
is faster.
Maybe not in the long run.
I know you want this to be
like one of
your adventure games,
but all that matters
is that we get to spend
as much time
as possible with Dad.
(SIGHS)
So, we should just take
the expressway, right?
Yeah, you're right.
But if you end up
inside a gelatinous cube,
you are on your own.
(TIRES SQUEAL)
GPS NARRATOR:
Manticore's Tavern
ahead on your right.
(RINGTONE PLAYING)
-Hey.
-COLT: I'm just checking in.
Did you catch up
to the boys yet?
No, not yet.
But I'm a little worried
because we had
a weird family issue
come up,
and, well, this just isn't
like Ian to run off.
I mean, Barley, yes,
but not Ian.
You know, it's late,
you shouldn't have to be out
looking for 'em.
I know, it's silly.
I'm sure they're both
probably on fire.
-Fire?
-Fire! The place is on fire!
-My boys! I gotta go!
-Laurel!
Get it off, get it off,
get it off!
Excuse me. Hello?
Please, I'm looking for
two teenage elves.
MANTICORE: I told you already,
there were two teenage elves.
Oh! Those are my sons.
Where did they go?
Oh. They went on a quest
to find a Phoenix Gem.
But don't worry, don't worry.
I told them about the map,
I told them about the gem,
I told them about the curse.
(GASPS) I forgot to tell them
about the curse.
-The what?
-Oh, boy.
Listen, this one's gone
a little... (WHISTLES)
Your boys are in grave danger!
But I can help!
(LAUGHING) Whoa, hey, hey!
You're not going anywhere.
We got questions for you.
I know where they're going!
We can still save them!
WOMAN: Okay, I think
everything's good here.
Last name "Manticore",
first name "The".
Hold on, you're right. She has
gone a little... (WHISTLES)
It's no wonder
with a wound like that.
That's just a scratch.
Oh, I'm sorry, are you
an expert on minotaurs?
-Manticores.
-Manticores?
Well, no...
Well, then you wouldn't know
that when their blood
is exposed to air,
it makes them go bonkers.
I don't think that's true.
See? She's already
losing her grip on reality.
So, why don't you let me
save her life
before it costs you yours?
-Okay.
-Thank you.
Could we have
a little privacy here, please?
Just lie back. That's good.
But get your head
a little bit higher.
Just don't take too long
back there, okay?
Hey, you hear me?
I said don't take too long
back there,
because... (EXCLAIMS)
All right,
how do we help my boys?
Ooh! I'm gonna like you.
BARLEY:
Radio, headlights, brakes,
tires, rims.
I mean,
it's hard to tell now, Dad,
before I replaced her parts,
Guinevere was actually
kind of a piece of junk.
Looks like we're not gonna get
to do everything today, Dad.
That's okay.
I just wanna meet you.
But don't worry,
we'll, uh, have you fixed up
and back home to see...
Oh, man. Mom!
Barley, we're not
gonna be able
to get Dad back in time
to see Mom.
Oh.
Well, Dad, at least you won't
have to meet the new guy.
(MIMICS COLT) So, you workin'
hard or hardly workin'?
(MIMIC COLT'S LAUGH)
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
(MIMICS COLT)
Barley, Barley, Barley.
Every time there's trouble,
I gotta deal with you.
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Is that your Colt?
Yeah.
You're gonna wanna work
on that.
No, no, no!
Come on, old girl.
(SIGHS) I thought you said
you fixed the van.
Relax. Guinevere is fine.
Her stomach
is just a little empty.
But it says
we have a full tank.
(LAUGHING)
No. That doesn't work.
Oh. Only a few drops left.
Maybe if
there's a gas station...
Hmm.
(SIGHS)
(BEEPING)
Is there a magic way
to get gas?
(GASPS) Oh! I like
your thinking, young mage.
(GRUNTS)
Growth spell!
We grow the can,
and then the gas inside
will grow with it.
Uh, that's kind of
a weird idea.
I know! I like it, too.
Okay.
Loosen up. Heart's fire.
Here we go.
Whoa. It's not that simple.
(CHUCKLES)
This one learns
a little magic,
thinks he's Shamblefoot
the Wondrous,
am I right, Dad?
A growth spell
is a bit more advanced.
Not only do you have to speak
from your heart's fire,
but now you also
have to follow a magic decree.
A magic what?
It's a special rule that keeps
the spell working right.
This one states,
"To magnify an object,
"you have to magnify
your attention upon it."
While you cast the spell,
you can't let anything
distract you.
Okay.
Ow!
-What?
-Splinter.
Can we sand this thing down?
No. It's an ancient staff
with magic
in every glorious fiber.
You can't sand it down.
All right. All right.
Here we go. Focus.
-Uh...
-Something wrong?
Sorry, it's just,
your stance is, uh... Here.
Chin up, elbows out,
feet apart,
back slightly arched.
-Okay, how's that feel?
-Great.
-Oh, one more thing...
-Barley!
Okay, okay.
Magnora Gantuan!
Don't let the magic spook you.
Okay.
-Elbows!
-What?
Elbows up!
No, no, no, it's too high.
That's too high.
I'm trying to focus here.
BARLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Focus. Focus on the can.
Focus.
(IAN STRAINING)
Focus.
Barley! Ah!
Forget it!
BARLEY: (LAUGHING) It worked!
The can is huge.
And the van is huge.
And you're...
Oh, no.
-What happened?
-Looks like you shrunk me.
How?
Well, if you mess up a spell,
there are consequences.
I only messed up because you
wouldn't stop bothering me.
I was trying to help you.
Well, don't try to help me.
Oh, okay. Fine. I won't!
Whoa, whoa. Dad, it's me.
(SCATTING)
Whoa! Dad, it's okay.
Don't worry.
I'm gonna fix this.
Well, where are you going?
IAN: (SIGHS)
To find a gas station.
-Well, I'm going, too.
-Fine.
Hey, I don't need your help.
Fine with me.
Oh. (PANTING)
(SIGHS)
(BARLEY PANTING)
I just need a little break.
My baby legs
can't go that fast.
Look, a gas station.
(GASPS) Good.
Oh, wait, I forgot.
(GRUNTING)
You don't need my help.
Hey, I don't need you to
carry me. I'm a grown man.
IAN: Dad!
Come on, it's okay.
Barley is with me.
BARLEY: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.
The side effects are supposed
to wear off eventually.
Do I look any bigger yet?
(BIKES REVVING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(WHISTLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey! Did you
just bump into me?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't see you there.
Do it again, and you'll see me
in your nightmares.
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
This one's lucky. I know it.
Give me a bag of extra-sours.
Keep the change.
Outta the way, beanstalk.
Uh, 10 on pump two, please.
(BARLEY GRUNTING)
-What are you doing?
-I'm getting us food.
All right, I got it.
And a couple of these.
Thank you.
Psst. I have to
go to the bathroom.
Can it wait?
It's your pocket.
Can we have the bathroom key,
please?
Okay, be quick.
I want to get out of here.
BARLEY: Okay, I'm goin'.
That'll be 12.99.
MUSTARDSEED: Hey, watch it!
You got a problem, Shades?
Answer me
when I'm talking to you.
(SHUDDERS) I'm sorry,
I don't really know
where his head's at right now.
How could this night
get any worse?
(GRUNTS) You know, I would
fly us to help your boys,
but the old wings
aren't what they used to be.
Oh, that's fine.
So, about this curse...
It's my own fault.
I should be doing
my wing exercises
every morning,
but you know how that goes.
Please, the curse.
What does it do?
Right. Sorry.
It's a Guardian Curse.
If your boys take the gem,
the curse will rise up
and assume
the form of a mighty beast,
and battle your sons to the...
Ooh. Well, how do your boys do
in a crisis?
Not great. One of them
is afraid of everything,
and the other
isn't afraid of anything.
Yeah, that skinny kid of yours
is pretty fearless.
No, no.
You mean the big one, Barley.
No, no, the little guy.
Ooh, he really let me have it.
What? No, look, you said
you could help them, right?
Every curse has a core,
the center of its power.
And only one weapon forged of
the rarest metals
can destroy it,
my enchanted sword,
the Curse Crusher!
Well, okay, but you don't seem
to have that on you.
I sold it. (CHUCKLES)
Got in a little tax trouble
a few years back.
But don't worry,
I know just where to find it.
I am on my way, boys.
Just try to stay
out of trouble.
(DINGS)
(SIGHS)
What is taking you so long?
DEWDROP:
Who you calling "whimsical"?
Oh, no.
-BARLEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-You've got a lot of nerve.
BARLEY: I'm just saying,
sprites used to fly around
spreading delight.
That's a good thing.
Sprites can't fly.
Well, your wings don't work
'cause you stopped using them.
-You calling me lazy?
-No, no, no.
Not you. Your ancestors.
What did you say
about my ancestors?
I didn't mean lazy...
I'm sorry, very sorry.
He's sorry, too.
You don't need to fly.
Who needs to fly?
I mean, you've got
those great bikes.
What are you doing?
I was just discussing history.
Barley, I'm trying
to take care of you and Dad,
and you're not making it
any easier.
Dad, come on.
(GASPS) Oh, no.
(ALL SHOUTING ANGRILY)
Hey! You're dead! (YELLS)
We're dead! We're dead!
We're dead!
BARLEY: Relax. They won't be
able to lift those bikes.
-(BIKE ENGINES REVVING)
-They are strong.
We're gonna die! We're
gonna die! We're gonna die!
BARLEY: It's locked.
What? Where are the keys?
-(GASPS)
-(BIKES APPROACHING)
I got this.
Come on, Barley.
(STRAINING) Whoa!
Okay, go, go, go!
(GRUNTING)
No. No, no, no. No way.
You're gonna have to.
-(BIKES ROARING)
-(GASPS)
Come on.
Why won't it start?
-(ENGINE STALLING)
-There's a sweet spot.
Not in the middle,
not quite at the end.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Guinevere!
-(ENGINE STARTS)
-Put it in "o" for "onward."
(SPRITES SHOUTING)
-(GRUNTS)
-Drive!
Okay, you're gonna
have to merge.
-(IAN WHIMPERS)
-(HORN BLARES)
-BARLEY: Speed up!
-I can't do this.
-BARLEY: Yes, you can.
-I'm not ready!
You'll never be ready. Merge!
-(IAN GRUNTING)
-(ENGINE REVVING)
(IAN YELLING)
(LAUGHING) Nice job!
-(ALL SHOUTING)
-(LAUGHING)
-Hey, don't hit Gwinny.
-Barley!
-Oh, no.
-Get around 'em!
-They're not letting me in.
-Signal.
You don't have a signaler.
Stick your arm straight out
the window to signal left.
-(YELLS)
-(SPRITES YELLING)
-(GASPS) Get back here.
-Just keep driving.
-Barley!
-(GRUNTS)
BARLEY:
The mountains are north.
You need to get
all the way over.
(EXCLAIMS)
What the...?
(HORN BLARING)
Oh, it is on, Shades!
Get 'em!
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
-Ian, stay focused!
-I can't!
You have to focus
or we are all dead!
(WHIMPERS)
Just stay cool.
(GRUNTS)
-(AIR BLASTING)
-(SPRITES YELLING)
Way to go, Guinevere!
-(SCREAMING)
-(GRUNTS)
Hit it!
(SCREAMING)
BARLEY:
We're not gonna make it!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(WHIMPERS)
(EXCLAIMS)
Dad, are you okay?
He's fine,
thanks to the skillful driving
of Sir Ian Lightfoot.
High five!
(GRUNTS) What is happening?
I think the spell
is wearing off. (GRUNTS)
Get off my face.
(SIREN WHOOPING)
-(GRUNTS)
-Chantor's Talon! Cops!
-Pull over.
-I don't have a license.
(EXCLAIMS)
My wallet's still tiny.
Step out of the vehicle.
-What are we gonna do?
-I don't know.
How are we gonna explain...?
Oh, no. Dad!
GORE: You have a long night
there, buddy?
SPECTER:
Sir, I'm gonna ask you
to walk this straight line.
(GASPS)
They're gonna take Dad.
(SOFTLY) Okay, okay.
Oh, I got it.
The disguise spell.
You can disguise yourself
to be anyone you want.
But what if I mess up again?
According to the spell,
"Disguising yourself
is a lie,
"so you must tell the truth
to get by."
As long as you don't tell
a lie, the spell will be fine.
Okay. Who are we gonna be?
Okay, we're taking you down
to the station.
IAN: (AS COLT, CLEARS THROAT)
What seems to be the problem
here, fellow police folk?
Officer Bronco?
Were you in that van?
Affirmative. And we will...
I mean, I will take
full responsibility
for that fella right there,
so you can just release him
over to me.
(WHISPERS)
Hey, I wanted to be the front.
No way. I'll do the talking.
Bronco, I thought
you were working
on the other side of town.
I, uh, changed my mind.
-(GASPS)
-Something wrong?
Just a little neck cramp.
(WHIMPERS)
(WHISPERS)
You have to stop lying.
Answer every question
with a question.
What exactly
are you doing out here?
Uh... What am I doing
out here?
What are any of us doing
out here?
Whoa. I never thought about it
like that.
Nice.
With all due respect,
you didn't answer my question.
Well,
we were just exercising
some driver's education drills
for Ian.
Who is Ian?
Oh, is that Laurel's kid?
Ian is Laurel's kid.
Your stepson was swerving
all over the road.
Yeah, well...
that guy's
not all there today.
Yeah, he does seem
a little off.
You seem
a little off yourself.
Uh, actually, if I'm being
completely honest,
I'm not super great
in this kind of situation,
and I'm starting to freak out
a little bit.
And I'm all sweaty and weird,
and I don't know what to say
and I just feel like
I can't do anything right,
and I'm a total weirdo.
Hold on, hold on.
I think I know
what's going on here.
Uh... You do?
It's not easy
being a new parent.
My girlfriend's daughter got
me pulling my hair out, okay?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
All right, we can let him go.
Okay, well, I'm just gonna
take him to the van.
Hey, it gets better.
All right? Good luck, Bronco.
You, too, Officer.
Keep workin' hard
or hardly workin'.
(LAUGHS)
Now, that was a good Colt.
I don't envy you, Bronco.
That Lightfoot kid
is a handful.
Uh, I'm gonna have to disagree
with you there.
I think Ian's
a pretty stand-up citizen.
Not him, the older one.
What?
I mean, the guy's a screwup.
You can't say you don't agree.
Um, I don't.
What?
(HESITATES)
I mean, okay, well...
I gotta get going.
Gotta get Ian home.
(HESITATING)
I mean, I'm late for work.
Sorry, I mean,
I'm feelin' a little sick.
I mean tired. Sick and tired.
Gotta go!
See you Monday!
(CHUCKLES) Oh, man.
Bronco is losin' it.
See, that's why
I never got married.
Old Gore can't be tied down.
-(RADIO STATIC)
-This is Specter.
Can you put me through
to Officer Colt Bronco?
Barley, I don't know
what happened back there.
But I don't think
you're a screwup.
Maybe the magic
just got it wrong, you know.
Yeah.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)
I don't know what happened.
-(INCREASES VOLUME)
-Barley! Barley!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
Where are you going?
Barley, come on.
This is all just...
I'm not a screwup.
I didn't say you were.
The magic said it for you.
Well, the magic got it wrong.
Magic doesn't get it wrong!
The cop asked a question,
you answered, and magic
revealed the truth. Right?
Right?
I don't know how
any of this stuff works.
All I know is that everything
we've done tonight
has gone wrong.
Yeah, it's gone wrong because
you won't listen to me.
Are you kidding?
Because everything we've done
has been your idea.
But you didn't do it my way.
You didn't let me
handle the Manticore.
You freaked out
when I talked to the sprites.
'Cause you don't think
I have good ideas.
What? Of course I do.
Great! Then I think we should
take the Path of Peril.
And I also think that
would be good, normally...
See?
But, I told you,
this isn't a game.
All that matters today
is Dad,
and right now
he's sitting in that van,
and he's confused...
What?
What is he doing?
I think he can feel
the vibrations of the music,
and he's dancing.
IAN: Wow.
He is terrible.
Yeah.
He's really, really bad.
Oh, no.
Here he comes.
No, no, no. Thanks, Dad.
Dad, thank you.
I'm good.
(CHUCKLES) Stop.
Okay. Okay.
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no!
I'm not really a big dancer.
Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Just imagine what the top half
of this dance looks like.
I bet it goes
something like this.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
BARLEY: Ow.
Ah, you danced your shoelaces
loose there, Pop.
(SIGHS)
You know,
I wanna see him, too.
Yeah, I know.
It's not fair for you
to call me a screwup
if you don't give me a chance
to get something right.
Just do one thing my way.
You really think
this Path of Peril
is the best way
to go to the mountain?
Okay.
Uh... So, where is
your magic sword?
It lies beyond those gates.
If we don't leave here
with the sword,
your boys are doomed.
GRECKLIN: There you are.
One garlic crusher.
No, Curse Crusher.
It's a large magical sword.
Sword.
Sword, sword, sword.
I mean, I got this thing.
-(LAUGHS) That's it!
-How much?
(GRUNTS)
-Let's call it, uh, 10.
-LAUREL: Great!
Forged of the rarest metals,
the only sword of its kind
in all the land.
(MANTICORE EXHALES)
Hello, old friend.
We shall never part again.
Oh! Turns out this sword
is the only sword of its kind
in all the land.
So, let's call it 10,000.
(CACKLES)
-You can't do that!
-Well, I just did. (CACKLES)
Okay, you had better...
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-Yeah?
Hey, I talked
to some other officers,
and they said the boys
were last seen going north.
-Are they okay?
-They're fine.
But the officers said...
Well, honey,
this night keeps getting
stranger and stranger.
Do you know who I am?
Some kind of
winged bear-snake lady?
Argh!
Winged lion-scorpion lady!
It sure does.
Listen, I need that sword.
My sons have
a once-in-a-lifetime chance
to see their father.
Now, my oldest son...
Holy son of a...
You killed her!
It's okay. She's only
temporarily paralyzed.
Hey, you can't do this.
-Well, I just did.
-Grab the sword.
Don't you touch that.
Here you go.
And a little something extra
for your trouble.
I love your store.
Oh, that's so pretty.
Hey! Hey!
-(LAUREL WHOOPING)
-(LAUGHS) Yeah!
Laurel, what's happening?
-MANTICORE: Yeah!
-Hello? Are you all right?
Laurel?
Oh, Colt, I can't talk.
The boys need me.
Wait! (SIGHS)
Dang those kids.
Huh.
BARLEY:
We're heading on a quest
Our father we must retrieve
The Lightfoot brothers
can't be stopped
Something, something
That rhymes with retrieve
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, we're still here.
Well, good morning to thee,
dear Lightfoot men.
Welcome to the Path of Peril.
IAN: It's not much of a path.
Well, you know, they never
really developed around here.
So, heads up,
we could run into anything.
A centicore, wolf dragon,
gelatinous cube.
Okay, what is
a gelatinous cube?
Oh, it's a giant green cube
that instantly disintegrates
all that it touches.
We are not gonna run into a...
Oh! Stop!
-BARLEY: Ahh!
-(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BOTH SIGH IN RELIEF)
IAN: What is this?
BARLEY: Bottomless pit.
Whatever falls in there,
falls forever.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(IAN GASPS)
Aw, Dad, come here.
Ian, check it out.
This is an ancient drawbridge.
We lower that bad boy
and we are on our way
to Raven's Point.
Look around for a lever.
IAN: Found it.
But it's on the other side.
Okay, I got this.
Aloft Elevar.
(BARLEY SNORTS)
You can't cast
a levitation spell
on something that far away.
It only has, like, a 15-meter
enchanting radius. (SNICKERS)
Dad, can you believe this guy?
What we need
is a Trust Bridge.
It's a spell that creates
a magical bridge
you can walk on.
Just say "Bridgrigar Invisia."
Okay. Bridgrigar Invisia.
Bridgrigar Invisia!
-It didn't work.
-No, the spell's still going.
You won't know if your bridge
worked until you step on it.
Step on what?
If you believe the bridge
is there, then it's there.
-But it's not.
-Well, not with that attitude.
I'm not gonna step out
onto nothing.
Now we've got a rope.
But you're not gonna
even need it because...
-I want the rope!
-Okay.
I'm just saying you're not
gonna need the rope,
because I know
you can make that bridge.
(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMING)
-(GRUNTS)
I'm dying! I'm dying!
I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!
-Oh, my life is over.
-I got you.
(STRAINING)
Okay, you fell.
-But was that so bad?
-Yes!
-Are you still alive?
-Yes.
Okay, so now you know
the worst that can happen.
So, there's nothing
to be scared of, right?
(EXHALES)
Bridgrigar Invisia!
-(INHALES SHARPLY)
-Hey. You can do this.
(BOTH LAUGH EXCITEDLY)
-Yeah!
-There you go!
-(YELPS)
-(GASPS)
(PANTING)
Believe with every step.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-(CHUCKLES)
-BARLEY: Oh, yeah!
You've got me, right?
I still got you.
(BARLEY WHOOPING)
Ian Lightfoot is fearless.
(GASPS)
This is amazing! (LAUGHS)
Yeah! But just keep going.
Don't look back.
Just straight ahead.
(LAUGHS)
You've still got the rope,
right?
Yeah, I got it.
I am not afraid!
Oh, man,
I could stay out here all day.
Huh. Huh.
Okay, but keep moving.
We've gotta see Dad, remember?
Hey, Dad,
this last step is for you.
-(GASPS AND SCREAMS)
-Ahh!
Oh. (SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(WHIMPERING)
(LAUGHS) He did it, Dad.
(WHOOPING)
(LAUGHS) That was amazing.
How long was the rope gone?
Oh, just, like,
the second half of it.
I needed that rope.
Oh, but did you?
Ian! Look.
It's a raven.
The clue on the menu said
Raven's Point.
Yeah. In the mountains.
But maybe the puzzle
didn't mean the mountain.
Maybe it means follow
where the raven is pointing.
(LAUGHS) It's another raven.
That one could be
pointing to another raven,
all the way to the gem.
I... I had us going
the wrong way.
Well, I told you.
My gut knows where to go.
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Don't you, boy? Yes, you do.
(CHUCKLES)
-Huh.
-Come on, Dad.
Guinevere will get us
to that raven in no time.
(SIREN WAILING)
You guys... (GRUNTING)
...are in trouble, big time.
No, no, no, Colt.
We found a spell.
If we finish it before sunset,
we'll get to see our father.
Ahh!
Well, uh, your mom told me
there was some kind
of strange (CLEARS THROAT)
family issue going on,
and this is
definitely strange.
But no, dang it.
I'm not letting you
upset your mother anymore.
Now you get in the vehicle,
I'm escorting you home.
No. No way.
I'm giving you
to the count of three.
(CLOPPING)
-Okay, we'll go.
-Ian.
He's a police officer.
-(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
-(ENGINE STARTS)
What are you doing?
I don't know.
(EXCLAIMS) Son of a...
(PANTING HEAVILY)
I need backup. Runaway van!
(BARLEY LAUGHING)
Yeah! Iandore Lightfoot,
breaking the rules.
I can't believe
I'm running from the cops.
BARLEY: You're not running
from the cops,
you're running from
our mom's boyfriend.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Okay, now you're running
from the cops.
(GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION)
Hold on!
BARLEY: Whoa! (LAUGHS)
Yeah! Nice going, Guinevere!
(BARLEY WHOOPING)
-(BOTH GASP)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, what did I do?
I shouldn't have driven away.
No, it was great.
Hey, block the road
with those boulders.
What? How?
Arcane Lightning.
You said
that's the hardest spell.
You are ready.
"To make lightning
strike with ease,
"one must follow all decrees."
You have to do everything.
Speak from your heart's fire,
trust yourself, focus,
all of it.
Voltar Thundasir. (SIGHS)
Voltar Thundasir.
Voltar Thundasir!
(STRAINING)
-(SIRENS WAILING)
-(STAFF CRACKLING)
(GRUNTS)
I can't! I can't do it.
(PANTING)
We're not gonna see you, Dad.
And it's all my fault.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(INSPIRING INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
What are you doing?
What the...?
Barley.
She was just
a beat-up old van.
Come on, we gotta go.
(PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(GRUNTING)
Wait.
Oh. You see that, Dad?
The apprentice has become
the master. (CHUCKLES)
It looks like water.
IAN: So, what's the, uh,
X mean?
On a quest,
an X only means one thing.
We go to the end of the water,
we'll find that Phoenix Gem.
-(SNARLING)
-(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
Unicorns!
IAN: Whoa.
Cool.
(SIGHS) This water
could go on for miles.
We don't have that kinda time.
If we had something
to float on,
we could cast
a velocity spell on it,
fly down the tunnel
like a magic jet ski.
IAN: Well, there's not much
to float on.
Remember, on a quest,
you have to use
what you've got.
IAN: Magnora Gantuan!
(SPLASHING)
-IAN: Woo-hoo!
-(BARLEY LAUGHS)
Accelior!
BOTH: Whoa!
(CHUCKLES)
This is actually kinda cool.
So, what other spells
do you know?
(CHUCKLES) Brace yourself,
young mage.
I know all there is
to know of magic.
LAUREL: Colt, we know
where the boys are going.
We just have to get to them
before they unleash the curse.
-COLT: (OVER PHONE) The what?
-Let's crush some curses!
The curse. The curse
that protects the gem
by turning into
a rock dragon or something.
A what dragon?
I can't explain it.
I just know we have
to get to the boys fast.
Oh, we'll get to them fast.
We'll get to them so fast.
-(SLURPING)
-Oh!
Well, I almost had 'em,
but Ian, he just drove off.
-Huh. Good for him.
-What?
No, I just mean
he's scared to drive.
Thinks something's gonna
come at him out of the...
(ALL SCREAMING)
-(SHRIEKS)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(EXCLAIMS)
-(BOTH SCREAM)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(CRASHING)
Oh! I think I stung my leg.
COLT: Laurel, what happened?
What's goin' on?
You almost killed me, lady.
Are you okay?
Where did you come from?
You were in our flight path.
(SPRITES GRUMBLING)
-SPRITE 1: Are you all right?
-I'm fine.
Oh, no. Our transport!
How are we going
to get to your sons now?
Come on, Pixie Dusters,
let's take to the skies.
SPRITES: Yeah!
SPRITE 2: I was born to fly!
How do you feel
about exercising those wings?
(NERVOUSLY) Uh...
Boombastia!
-Ah, remember...
-Oh, right.
Boombastia!
-Whoa!
-(BARLEY LAUGHS)
Yeah! You're a natural!
Think fast.
Aloft Elevar!
Yeah! (GRUNTS) Nice!
Careful how much boat
you're eating there, man,
we still gotta make it
to the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. Good point.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) I can't believe
I'm this close
to actually talking to Dad.
You know what
I'm gonna ask him?
If he ever gave himself
a wizard name.
What?
Well, 'cause he was
into magic.
Lots of wizards
have cool names.
Alora the Majestic.
Birdar the Fanciful.
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway, it'll just be nice
to have more than
four memories of him.
-Uh, three.
-Hmm?
You only have three memories.
Oh, yeah.
Barley, do you have
another memory of Dad
you haven't told me?
No, it's just not my favorite.
What do you mean?
(SIGHS)
When Dad was sick,
I was supposed to go in
and say goodbye to him.
But he was hooked up
to all these tubes,
and he just
didn't look like himself.
I got scared,
and I didn't go in.
That's when I decided
I was never gonna be
scared ever again.
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) Looks like
we're coming up on somethin'.
The final gauntlet.
The Phoenix Gem
is just on the other side.
Careful, there could be
booby traps.
This place is, like,
1,000 years old.
There's no way
there could be...
-(BOTH EXCLAIM)
-(WIND WHOOSHES)
Oh, no.
It can't be.
A gelatinous cube!
-(GASPS)
-(SIZZLES)
(CREAKING)
Run!
Whoa! Wait!
It's some kind of puzzle.
We gotta figure it out
before...
No time. Grab a shield.
(GRUNTING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
-Jump! Trust me!
-What?
(YELLING)
Aloft Elevar!
(LAUGHS)
Ow. (GRUNTS)
Ian.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BOTH PANTING)
Whew!
(EXCLAIMS) Don't step on that.
(RUMBLING)
-(BARLEY YELPS)
-I didn't touch it.
Voltar Thundasir!
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
The tile down there has
the same shape as the opening.
Maybe we were supposed
to step on it?
-What?
-I got it.
No, Barley!
(GASPS)
Oh! It's working!
(GASPS) It's impossible.
No one can hold
their breath that long.
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH TAKE DEEP BREATH)
(BOTH TAKE DEEP BREATHS)
(GASPING)
(BOTH LAUGH)
We made it!
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
The Phoenix Gem
awaits beyond this door.
Shall we?
We certainly shall!
Dad, we have followed
the quest,
and it has led us
to our victory!
(BUS HONKING)
We're back home.
No, that doesn't make sense.
We took the Path of Peril.
We followed the ravens,
we went to the end
of the water...
Unless the X meant
stay away from the water.
Or it could be,
like, a campfire?
It's okay.
We can figure this out.
Figure out what?
We're back where we started.
I mean, it has to be here.
There was a gauntlet.
I mean,
unless that gauntlet was for,
coincidentally,
some different quest.
-That's a possibility.
-What?
No, no, no. This has to be
where the Phoenix Gem is.
I followed my gut.
-Oh, no.
-What?
The gem is in the mountain.
The mountain
we could have been to
hours ago if we just...
If we just stayed
on the expressway.
No, the expressway
is too obvious.
You can never take
the obvious...
If I hadn't listened to you!
Okay?
I can't believe this.
You act like you know
what you're doing,
but you don't have a clue,
and that's because
you are a screwup.
And now you've screwed up
my chance
to have the one thing
I never had!
Where are you going?
To spend what little time
we have left with Dad.
Ian, wait!
We can still find
the Phoenix Gem.
We just have to keep lookin'.
Ian!
Ian!
No, Dad.
He's not here.
(PANTING)
Come on. Where is it?
Follow the water.
Ugh...
All right. Come on,
out of the fountain.
No, I'm looking
for an ancient gem.
Oh, yeah, we know.
"The old days."
No! Stop! Please! No!
Okay, ow, okay!
Okay. I'm leaving.
WORKER 1: Hey!
WORKER 2: Come on!
Can someone call the cops?
We got the history buff again.
(PANTING)
IAN: I can't do this.
BARLEY: Yes, you can.
-I'm not ready!
-You'll never be ready. Merge!
Nice job!
(PEN CLICKS)
-Think fast.
-Aloft Elevar!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SPUTTERING)
(BOTH GIGGLE)
(BOTH GRUNTING AND GIGGLING)
-(YELPS)
-(GIGGLES)
Woo-hoo!
BARLEY: I know
you're stronger than that.
My little brother
has the magic gift.
Don't hold back.
Hey. You can do this.
(PANTING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
SPECTER: Okay, come on.
Get down right now.
-(STONES RUMBLING)
-(GASPS)
Yeah! Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Barley!
Ian! Look!
(LAUGHS)
Behind you!
(GASPS)
It's a curse.
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
(ALL GASPING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
(WHIMPERS)
(PEOPLE WHIMPERING)
(GASPS)
(ROARS)
Barley, run!
What do you want? The gem?
Fine, take it!
Ha-ha!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(ROARS)
The Manticore!
Mom?
It's okay, boys,
we'll take care...
Whoa... You're tilting!
You're tilting!
-Mom!
-Go see your father!
It's okay! If they stab
the beast's core
with that sword,
the curse will be broken.
Come on!
(GROWLS)
(MANTICORE LAUGHS)
(MANTICORE PANTING)
(MANTICORE ROARS)
Barley, what I said before...
I am so sorry.
There's no time.
The sun's about to set.
(WHIMPERS)
Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth!
(ROARS)
Time to crush a curse!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
-(GROANS)
-(BONES CRACKING)
-Ooh, my back.
-(DRAGON ROARS)
(LAUREL GASPS)
I am a mighty warrior.
(PANTING)
I am a mighty warrior!
Hurry!
I can't hold this for long!
(STRAINING)
No! No, no, no!
Barley!
-(STONES RUMBLING)
-(GASPS)
(STRAINING)
Boys, it's coming back!
I'll go distract it.
What? No!
If you do that,
you'll miss Dad.
It's okay.
Say hi to Dad for me.
-No. You go and say goodbye.
-What?
I had someone
who looked out for me.
Someone who pushed me to be
more than I ever
thought I could be.
I never had a dad,
but I always had you.
Bridgrigar Invisia!
Boombastia!
(ROARS)
Aloft Elevar!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
No!
(ROARS)
(WHIMPERS)
No! No, no, no!
(STRAINS AND GASPS)
Use what I have.
Uh, what do I have?
I have nothing.
Splinter.
Magic in every fiber.
Magnora Gantuan!
No!
Voltar Thundasir!
Ian!
Accelior!
(PANTING HEAVILY)
(PANTING)
LAUREL: Ian!
(GASPS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(GRUNTS)
(WILDEN LAUGHING)
(GASPS SOFTLY)
(SNIFFLES)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
What did he say?
He said he always thought
his wizard name
would be Wilden the Whimsical.
Wow. That's really terrible.
I know. (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
He also said he's very proud
of the person
you grew up to be.
Well, I owe
an awful lot of that to you.
He kinda said that, too.
Oh, and he told me
to give you this.
IAN: Long ago,
the world was full of wonder.
It was adventurous,
exciting,
and best of all,
there was magic.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
SPRITE: Whoa! Watch it!
-(LAUGHS) Bullseye!
-(SPRITES CHEERING)
And then, with a slash
of my mighty sword,
I severed the beast's wings
from its wretched body!
-(KIDS GASPING)
-Okay, who wants cake?
-(KIDS CHEERING)
-(CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY)
And I think, with a little
bit of magic in your life,
you can do almost anything.
Is that how you
put the school back together?
Uh, yes.
STUDENT: Is that also
how you destroyed
the school in the first place?
Uh, also yes.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
-Hey, that was great.
-Thanks.
-You going to the park later?
-Yeah! See you there.
Mom! Oof!
-(LAUGHING)
-(BLAZEY YIPPING)
Blazey, down!
Who's a good dragon?
Who's a good dragon?
So, how was school?
It was really good.
Well, all right.
Hey, there he is.
You workin' hard?
-No, hardly workin'.
-(CHUCKLES)
Oh, I gotta go. I'm meeting
the Manticore for a night out.
DISPATCHER: (ON RADIO) We got
a one-one-three in progress.
All units report.
Duty calls.
Time to hit the trails.
Oh, you forgot your keys!
Don't need 'em.
I was born to run.
Hyah!
-(EXCLAIMS)
-Oh!
-(GRUNTS)
-Ah. (CHUCKLES)
So, how's the new van?
Oh. Guinevere the Second
is great.
I've almost got enough saved
up for a sweet paint job.
-No, please don't.
-Why not?
Because I already
took care of it.
Oh, yeah!
Okay, best way to the park
is to take
a little something
called the Road of Ruin.
-Uh... It's too obvious.
-Wait, what?
On a quest, the clear path
is never the right one.
-BARLEY: (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah!
-(IAN LAUGHING)
(FOLK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
You're the soul
who understands
The scars
and made me who I am
Through the drifting
sands of time
I got your back
and you got mine
If you bear a heavy load
I'll be your wheels
I'll be the road
I'll see us through
the thick and thin
For love and loss
until the end
'Cause you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
From the day it all began
Yeah, you were there
You took my hand
And when I hurt
a bit too deep
You watched me
as I fell asleep
And when my head
was in the cloud
You found a way
to pull me out
You picked my heart up
off the ground
And showed me
love was all around
Yeah, you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
Oh, we'll be sitting
on the world together
Watching as the days
turn into night
We know how to brave
the stormy weather
And we're never giving up
without a fight
If you should ever
bear a heavy load
I'll be your wheels
I'll be the road
I'll see us through
the thick and thin
For love and loss
until the end
'Cause you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
Oh, you carried me
with you
WILDEN: Long ago,
the world was full of wonder.
(WHINNYING)
It was adventurous...
exciting...
and best of all...
there was magic.
Boombastia!
(GASPS)
(KIDS EXCLAIM)
WILDEN: And that magic
helped all in need.
Flame Infernar!
-(BOTH GRUNTING)
-(GROWLING)
(GRUNTS)
Voltar Thundasir!
(EXCLAIMING)
(YELPING)
WILDEN: But it wasn't easy
to master.
And so the world found
a simpler way to get by.
I call it the light bulb.
(ALL GASP)
'Tis so easy. (LAUGHS)
Huh.
(CROWD GASPS)
-(CHUCKLES)
-(APPLAUDS)
WILDEN: Over time...
...magic faded away.
(GRUNTS)
(SNARLS)
But I hope...
(ALARM RINGING)
...there's
a little magic left...
in you.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
FITNESS CYCLOPS: (ON SPEAKERS)
All right.
We're gonna get
Warrior Z90 fit.
Let me hear you say,
"I'm a mighty warrior."
I'm a mighty warrior.
Morning, Mom.
(YIPPING)
(GROANS)
Oh! Blazey, down!
Bad dragon! Back to your lair.
Happy birthday, Mr. Adult Man.
No, Mom.
Hey, buddy. Don't wipe off
my kisses. (GASPS SOFTLY)
What?
You're wearing
your dad's sweatshirt.
Oh. You know. Finally fits.
Aw, my little chubby cheeks
is all grown up!
Okay, okay. Mom, I gotta eat
something before school.
Ah, we don't have much food.
I still have to go
to the grocery store.
Ah, hands off, mister.
Those are
for your party tonight.
It's not a party, Mom.
It's just us.
You could invite those kids
from your science class.
You said
they seem pretty rockin'.
I'm, uh, pretty sure
I didn't say it like that.
And besides,
I don't even know them.
Well, your birthday's a day
to try new things.
-Be the new you.
-(WHIRRING)
Speaking of trying new things,
did you sign up
for driving practice?
No! (CLEARS THROAT) No.
I know you're a little scared
to drive, sweetie pie, but...
I'm not scared, Mom.
I'm gonna move Barley's game.
LAUREL: Okay, but you know
how he gets when someone
-touches that board.
-(THUDS)
(GASPS) Well, he's gotta learn
how to clean up his toys.
-Halt!
-(GASPS)
Doth my brother dare disrupt
an active campaign?
Oh, come on!
You know, Ian,
in the days of old,
a boy of 16
would have
his strength tested
in the Swamps of Despair.
I'm not testing anything.
Just let me go.
Let him go.
-Okay.
-(THUDS)
But I know you're stronger
than that.
There's a mighty warrior
inside of you.
You just have to let him out.
Right, Mom? (GRUNTS)
-(LAUREL GRUNTING)
-Oh, that's good.
-LAUREL: Barley! You stink!
-(BARLEY LAUGHING)
When was the last time
you showered?
If you tried a little harder,
you actually could
-probably wiggle out of this.
-(GRUNTS)
(GROANING) See? Mom knows how
to let out her inner warrior.
Thank you.
Now, take out the trash.
GORE: (ON RADIO) Stay on the
lookout for a runaway griffin.
Ah, Officer Bronco.
Barley, Barley, Barley.
Every time the city tries
to tear down
an old piece of rubble,
I gotta drag my rear end
out here and deal with you.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, really?
I will not let you tear down
this fountain.
Ancient warriors
on grand quests
drank from its flowing water.
-(GRUNTS)
-(ALL LAUGH)
Barley.
They're destroying
the town's past.
Ugh. Well, come on in.
Rest your haunches
for a minute.
Thank you, hon.
Ugh.
Hey there, birthday boy.
So, ya workin' hard
or hardly workin'? (LAUGHS)
I'm just, you know,
making toast.
LAUREL: I'm serious, Barley,
you need to start thinking
less about the past
and more about your future.
Ah, she's right.
You can't spend all day
playing your board game.
(GRUNTS)
Quests of Yore
isn't just a board game.
It's a historically-based
role-playing scenario.
Did you know, in the old days,
centaurs could run
70 miles an hour?
I own a vehicle.
Don't need to run.
Well, Ian,
you could definitely
learn a lot
from Quests of Yore.
-You wanna play?
-I don't.
You could be
a crafty rogue or...
Ooh! I know!
You can be a wizard.
I shall cast a spell on thee!
Hey! Careful of
Dad's sweatshirt!
I don't even remember Dad
wearing that sweatshirt.
Well, you do only have,
like, two memories of him.
No, I've got three.
I remember
his beard was scratchy,
he had a goofy laugh,
and I used to play
-drums on his feet.
-Drums on his feet. Right.
I used to go...
(SCATTING, FLAPS LIPS)
-Whoa!
-Five-second rule. Hah!
(BOTH GASP)
It's okay.
You just got to pull it.
-(RIPS)
-No!
Barley!
Uh, you know...
I'm just gonna get some food
on the way to school.
I'll sew that later tonight,
okay?
Wait, wait, wait.
By the laws of yore,
I must dub thee a man today.
Kneel before me.
Oh! That's okay.
I gotta get going.
All right, well,
I'll pick you up later.
We'll perform
the ceremony at school.
Oh! No, no, no, no.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Okay, bye!
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey!
Go Griffins!
What?
You go to Willowdale College?
Oh, no. This was my dad's.
Lightfoot?
Wilden Lightfoot?
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
You're kidding.
I went to college with him.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Boy, I was so sorry to hear
that he passed away.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know, your dad was
a great guy. So confident.
When he came into a room,
people noticed. (CHUCKLES)
The man wore the ugliest
purple socks every single day.
What? Why?
Hey, that's exactly
what we asked.
But he was just bold.
I always wished I had
a little bit of that in me.
Yeah. Wow. I've never heard
any of this about him before.
-What else do you remember?
-Dad!
Oh, sorry. Gotta get this guy
off to school.
Hey, it was nice meeting you.
Yeah. You, too.
Huh.
Bold.
(CLICKS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
TEACHER: Okay, class.
Sit down. We're starting roll.
Hey, uh, Gorgamon. Um...
Would you mind not putting
your feet on my chair today?
Sorry, dude.
Got to keep them elevated.
Gets the blood flowing
to my brain.
It just makes it a little hard
for me to fit in there.
Well, if I don't have
good blood flow,
I can't concentrate
on my schoolwork.
You don't want me to do bad
in school, do you?
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
No.
Thanks, bro.
(SIGHS)
-(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
-First road test.
Any volunteers?
A left here.
Now, take this on-ramp
for the freeway.
Okay, yeah.
I'm, uh, super ready for that.
Uh...
It's nice and fast.
INSTRUCTOR:
Just merge into traffic.
Yep.
Just any minute.
-Merge into traffic.
-Uh...
Merge into traffic!
(STUDENTS EXCLAIMING)
I'm not ready!
Pull over.
-(STUDENTS MURMURING)
-(IAN SIGHS)
All right. So, what should
we do this weekend?
Move to a cooler town?
Oh, hey.
What up, dudes? Um...
I'm, uh, having
a party tonight,
and I was wondering if
you wanted to come over
and get down on some cake.
(GROANS) That's not something
anyone says.
Okay, don't say "dudes."
"Gang"?
What's up, gang?
What's up, gang?
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey.
What's up, gang?
Oh, hey. Uh, Ian, right?
Oh! I didn't know
you knew my...
Anyway...
uh, if you like parties,
then I'm...
I was gonna do a party...
-What?
-What I was trying to say is
if you're not doing
anything tonight...
but I'm sure you probably
are doing something tonight...
and you like cake
like I like cake,
I've got a cake at my house.
Are you inviting us
to a party?
That's the one.
Oh. Yeah, we don't have
any plans.
-Yeah, okay.
-Totally.
Really?
I guess we can just take
the bus over to my house.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(METAL MUSIC BLARING
ON CAR STEREO)
Oh, no, no, no.
Ha-ha! Is that
the birthday boy I see?
Behold! Your chariot awaits!
Do you know that guy?
-Uh...
-Sir Iandore of Lightfoot.
Seems like he's talking
to you.
Hey, Ian!
(BLARES HORN)
Hey, Barley.
Yeah, we were actually gonna
take the bus.
The bus? Nay!
I will give you
and your companions
transport upon Guinevere.
Um, who's Guinevere?
My mighty steed.
-(CLANGS)
-Oh. That's embarrassing.
That's okay, girl.
Patch you back up.
(SIGHS)
He's just joking around.
(CHUCKLES) You've got
something on your face.
Oh, no. You... just...
Wait, no. It's... No...
Oh! Uh...
You know what?
I just remembered
that my birthday
is, uh, canceled.
-What?
-IAN: I mean, the party.
Uh, it was never
actually happening.
It was just
this huge misunderstanding.
So, I got to go.
Okay. Bye!
(GRUNTING)
Ooh. Whoops! Sorry.
Let me just file those.
(GRUNTS)
Hey, did those kids write
on your face?
-Here. I'll get it.
-(GRUNTS)
Can we please just go home?
Okay, well, we'll perform
your birthday ceremony later.
Then you'll be ready
for adulthood
and its gauntlet
of challenges.
You know, in ancient times,
you celebrated
your day of birth
with a solemn quest.
Of course, those were nothing
compared to the challenges
of the old days.
Mom?
Mom?
LAUREL: Will, you're not gonna
get that thing working.
WILDEN: I think I've got it.
LAUREL: I'm gonna watch
from over here
for when it blows up.
WILDEN: Hello? Hello?
LAUREL: I'll bet good money
you can't get it to work.
WILDEN: Oh, is that right?
LAUREL: Yep.
But you're doing a good job of
making it look like you know
what you're doing.
WILDEN: (LAUGHING)
Well, I'm trying to.
LAUREL: Did you check
if it had batteries?
(WILDEN LAUGHING)
LAUREL: Of course you didn't.
WILDEN: I know.
LAUREL:
So, is it really working?
WILDEN: Let's find out.
Okay. Bye.
(TAPE CLICKS)
(CASSETTE REWINDS)
(BUTTON CLICKS)
LAUREL: Will, you're not going
to get that thing working.
WILDEN: I think I've got it.
LAUREL: I'm gonna watch
from over here
for when it blows up.
Hi, Dad.
WILDEN: Hello? Hello?
It's me, Ian.
WILDEN: Oh, is that right?
Yeah.
Did you have a good day?
(LAUGHING)
Well, I'm trying to.
Yeah. Me, too.
Although, I could clearly use
some help. (CHUCKLES)
(WILDEN LAUGHING ON TAPE)
I sure do wish I could spend
the day with you sometime.
I know.
Well, there are so many things
we could do.
I bet it'd be really fun.
Let's find out.
Yeah. I mean, I'd love to.
We could, uh...
-Okay. Bye.
-(TAPE CLICKS)
Yeah.
Bye.
Oh, my...
Barley, keep your soldiers
off my land
or our kingdoms
will go to war!
BARLEY: Sorry, Mom!
Oh, this is the world's
longest gap year.
Honey, I was gonna do that.
It's okay.
Wow! You must have been taught
by some kind of sewing master.
Yeah. A very humble
sewing master. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
What was Dad like
when he was my age?
Was he always super confident?
Oh, no.
It took him a while
to find out who he was.
I wish I'd met him.
Oh, me, too.
But, hey, you know,
when your dad got sick,
he fought so hard
because he wanted to meet you
more than anything.
You know what?
I have something for you.
I was gonna wait
until after cake,
but I think you've waited
long enough.
What is it?
It's a gift from your dad.
What do you mean,
it's from Dad?
I don't know. Mom said
it was for both of us.
BARLEY: What is it?
He just said to give you this
when you were both over 16.
I have no idea what it is.
(GASPS) No way!
It's a wizard staff.
-Dad was a wizard.
-What?
Hold on, your dad was
an accountant.
I mean, he got interested
in a lot of strange things
when he got sick, but...
There's a letter.
"Dear Ian and Barley,
"long ago, the world
was full of wonder.
"It was adventurous,
exciting,
"and best of all,
there was magic.
"And that magic
helped all in need.
"But it wasn't easy to master.
"And so the world found
a simpler way to get by.
"Over time,
magic faded away,
"but I hope there's
a little magic left in you.
"And so I wrote this spell,
so I could see for myself
"who my boys grew up to be."
"Visitation Spell."
BARLEY: I don't believe this.
This spell brings him back.
For one whole day,
Dad will be back.
-What?
-Back? Like back to life?
That's not possible.
It is with this!
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
I'm gonna meet Dad?
Oh, Will, you wonderful nut.
What is this?
Now, a spell this powerful
needs an assist element.
And, I mean, for this to work,
Dad would've had to find
a Phoenix Gem!
Wow.
There's only
a few of these left.
Hold on! Is this dangerous?
We're about to find out.
-Ah!
-What?
-Splinter.
-(BOTH SIGH)
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
(BLAZEY CHITTERS)
Hold on.
I was just grippin' it wrong.
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
"Only once is all we get,
"grant me this rebirth.
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
"One day to walk the earth."
"Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth."
Barley.
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry you guys
don't have your dad here,
but this shows just how much
he wanted to see you both.
So much
that he'd try anything.
That's still
a pretty special gift.
Yeah.
(BARLEY SIGHS)
(BLAZEY TRILLS)
Hey, wanna come with me
to pick up your cake?
That's okay. Thanks, Mom.
(KISSES)
(SIGHS)
"Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
(GASPS)
"Till tomorrow's sun
has set...
(GASPS)
"one day to walk the earth."
Hey, man,
what are you doing in here?
Holy Tooth of Zadar!
How did you...?
I don't know. It just started.
(YELPS)
Whoa! Feet!
(WHIMPERS)
(STRAINING)
Hang on. I can help!
Barley, no!
(BOTH YELL)
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Dad?
-(BOTH GASP)
-He's just legs.
There's no top part.
I definitely remember
Dad having a top part!
Oh, what did I do?
This is horrible.
Uh...
Hello?
It's really him.
Dad, you are in your house.
Whoa, whoa!
(GROANS) He can't hear us.
What are you doing?
(SCATTING)
That's right, Dad.
It's me, Barley.
Yeah, that's Ian.
Hi, Dad.
(GROANS) I messed
this whole thing up.
Now he's gonna be
legs forever.
No, not forever.
The spell only lasts one day.
At sunset tomorrow,
he'll disappear,
and we'll never be able
to bring him back again.
Okay, okay, okay. 24 hours.
That doesn't give us
much time, but...
(SIGHS)
(BEEPS)
Well, we'll just have to do
the spell again.
You mean you have to.
A person can only do magic
if they have the gift.
And my little brother
has the magic gift.
Okay! Okay.
But I couldn't even finish
the spell.
Well, you're gonna have
plenty of time to practice.
'Cause we have to find
another Phoenix Gem.
(GASPS)
(BARLEY MUTTERING)
A-ha! We'll start at the place
where all quests begin.
The Manticore's Tavern.
It's run
by a fearless adventurer.
She knows where to find
any kind of gem,
talisman, totem...
Barley, this is for a game.
Based on real life.
How do we know this tavern
-is still there?
-It's there.
Look, my years of training
have prepared me
for this very moment.
And I'm telling you,
this is the only way
to find a Phoenix Gem.
Trust me.
Whatever it takes,
I am gonna meet my dad.
You hear that, Dad?
We're going on a quest.
-(ENGINE STALLING)
-Come on, Guinevere.
Uh, maybe we should
just take the bus.
-She's fine.
-(ENGINE STARTS)
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BARLEY LAUGHING)
(BULB CRACKLING)
(GRUNTS)
Anyway, it's just, like,
this award for math.
It's no big deal.
But I'll show you
when we get back home.
Hey, uh, what are you two
Chatty Charlies up to
back there?
You know, I felt weird
talking to Dad
without a top half, so...
ta-da!
Oh, that's great!
Dad, you look
just like I remember.
Hey, don't worry, we'll have
the rest of you here
before you know it.
And then,
first thing I'm gonna do,
introduce you to Guinevere.
Rebuilt this old girl myself,
from the lug nuts
to the air conditioning.
-(AIR BLASTING)
-(IAN GRUNTING)
Showing Dad your van?
-That's your whole list?
-What list?
-Oh.
-What's that?
I'm just working
on a list of things
I wanted to do with Dad.
You know,
play catch, take a walk,
driving lesson,
share my whole life story
with him.
That's cool.
Oh. But before you cast Dad's
spell again, you're gonna
-have to practice your magic.
-(GRUNTS)
IAN: (SIGHS)
This book is for a game.
I told you,
everything in Quests of Yore
is historically accurate.
Even the spells.
So start practicing,
young sorcerer.
(SIGHS) Okay, Dad.
Let's try some magic.
LAUREL: Hey, sweetie?
Ugh! Blazey. Oh, this dragon
is always under my feet.
Honey, you want some cake?
(GASPS)
(SNIFFING)
Aloft Elevar. Aloft Elevar.
I can't get
this levitation spell to work.
Maybe I could try
something else
-like Arcane Lightning?
-(SCOFFS)
Yeah, like a level-one mage
could bust out
the hardest spell in
the Enchanter's Guide Book.
(CHUCKLING) Maybe we'll stick
with the easy ones.
Yeah, well, it's not working.
Am I saying it wrong?
Well, mmm, you said it right.
It's just,
for any spell to work,
you have to speak
from your heart's fire.
-My what?
-Your heart's fire.
You must speak with passion.
Don't hold back.
Aloft Elevar!
No, like Aloft Elevar.
Aloft Elevar!
No, from your heart's fire!
-Aloft Elevar!
-Don't hold back.
-Aloft Elevar!
-Heart's fire!
Stop saying "heart's fire."
This just clearly
isn't working. (SIGHS)
Hey, it was a good start.
(SIGHS)
Oh. Gather your courage, men.
We've arrived.
The Manticore's Tavern.
Huh. It is still here.
Yeah, I told you.
Come on, Dad. That's good.
BARLEY: All right, listen.
First, let me do the talking.
Secondly, it's crucial we show
the Manticore
the respect she deserves,
or she will, thirdly, not give
us a map to the Phoenix Gem.
Wait, wait, wait. The map?
I thought she had
a Phoenix Gem.
(CHUCKLING) You're so cute.
Hear that, Dad?
He's a smart kid, he just
doesn't know how quests work.
Well, is there anything else
you're forgetting to tell me?
Mmm. No.
ALL:
Happy happy birthday
Come join us on a quest
To make your birthday party
The very, very best
Hey!
Okay, okay, so the tavern
changed a little
over the years,
but the Manticore
is still the real deal.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I'll have the soup of the day.
Would my lord
like a cup or cauldron?
(GROANS)
Madam, I request an audience
with the Manticore.
But of course, milord.
(BLARES HORN)
(IN SING-SONG VOICE)
Oh, Manticore!
(LAUGHING)
No. No, no, no.
The real Manticore.
-The fearless adventurer.
-(COSTUMED MANTICORE SIGHS)
Oh. You mean Corey?
She's over there.
(GASPS) Quick!
Somebody help me.
These griffin nuggets were
supposed to go out
minutes ago. (GRUNTING)
That's the Manticore?
Oh, great and powerful
Manticore.
Whoa! Sir, you're right
in the hot zone.
You're late, Adolphus.
(BARKING)
I understand there's traffic.
You need to plan for that.
(GRUMBLING)
Well, maybe your mother should
get her own car! (SIGHS)
-Your fearlessness?
-(GASPS)
My brother and I seek a map
to a Phoenix Gem.
Oh! Well, you've come to
the right tavern. Table 12.
I have the parchment
you desire right here. Behold!
Oh. That's a children's menu.
Isn't that fun? They're all
based on my old maps.
Uh, now...
The great Manticore sends you
on your adventure
with a hero's blessing.
And here's some crayons.
That's very amusing,
your dominance,
but might you have
the real map?
Uh, yeah.
It's, uh, over there.
(GASPS) That's it.
-This is perfect.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
You can't take this.
We have to.
(GASPS) What is that?
(GROANS)
It's our dad. And we have
a chance to meet him, but...
But we can't do that
without a Phoenix Gem.
No! My days of sending people
on dangerous quests are over.
What? Why?
(CHUCKLES)
'Cause they're dangerous.
Corey, the karaoke machine's
broken again.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, but you are
not getting this map.
Don't worry, ladies,
your adventure will continue
momentarily. (CHUCKLES)
Okay, I can handle this.
-(SIGHS)
-No, Ian.
Miss mighty Manticore,
ma'am...
What are you doing?
Kid, this is not a good time.
Ugh. I'm giving this place
a one-star review.
It's just,
I've never met my dad and...
Look, I'm sorry about that.
But if you get hurt
on one of my quests,
guess who gets sued
and loses her tavern?
I can't take
that kind of risk.
Now, if you'll just excuse me,
I have important things to do.
-Testing. (ECHOING)
-(FEEDBACK WHINES)
You haunt my dreams
My inbetweens
(SIGHS)
Please, we need that map.
No, I am not giving you
the map.
That's it! I am done talking.
-Well, I'm not!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You say you can't risk
losing this place.
Look at that Manticore.
She looks
like she lived to take risks.
That Manticore didn't have
investors to look out for.
She didn't have payroll
to cover.
She could just
fly out the door
whenever she wanted
and slay a magma beast.
Are you gonna fix
the machine or not?
Yeah, in a minute.
Okay, maybe this place isn't
as adventurous
as it used to be.
So it isn't filled
with a motley horde
willing to risk life and limb
for the mere taste
of excitement.
-(BLOWS)
-But so what?
Who ever said
you have to take risks in life
to have an adventure?
Apparently, you did.
Table 32 said their
mozzarella sticks are cold.
What have I done?
Well, it's not too late.
I mean, you could just
give us the map.
This place
used to be dangerous.
COSTUMED MANTICORE: Dangerous!
-And wild!
-COSTUMED MANTICORE: Wild!
I used to be
dangerous and wild!
Dangerous and wild!
(LAUGHING)
-(ROARS)
-(YELLING)
(ROARS)
-(ALL GASP)
-Wow.
I'm living a lie!
What have I become?
Oh, no.
-(ROARS)
-(BOTH GASP)
Everybody out!
This tavern is closed
for remodeling. (ROARS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Sorry, the karaoke machine
is broken!
(ROARS)
Oh.
(BOTH GASP)
No! No, no, no!
No.
We gotta go!
(GRUNTS)
(CREAKING)
(GASPS)
Aloft Elevar!
(GASPS)
(STRAINING)
(LAUGHING)
That was unbelievable.
I mean, you were just like...
(VOCALIZING)
and the beam
was just floating there!
My brother is a wizard.
I can't believe that worked.
Oh! You're gonna nail
Dad's spell now.
Except we don't have a map.
But we've got this. Behold!
(SIGHS)
Look, on a quest, you have
to use what you've got.
And this is what we've got.
Best part is, little Kayla
already solved the puzzle.
Well, according to Kayla,
we just have to look
for Raven's Point.
Raven's Point. Raven's Point.
Yes! The gem
must be in the mountain.
We could be there
by tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning?
That still gives us
plenty of time with Dad.
(SIGHS)
Yeah. Well, it looks like
the expressway should take us
right there.
Mmm. Expressway is
a little too obvious.
On a quest, the clear path
is never the right one.
What?
During one
Quests of Yore campaign,
Shrub Rosehammer and I
took the easy route,
led him straight into the
belly of a gelatinous cube.
Only reason
I didn't suffer the same fate?
I followed my gut.
And it's telling me
we take an ancient trail
called the Path of Peril.
IAN: But the expressway
is faster.
Maybe not in the long run.
I know you want this to be
like one of
your adventure games,
but all that matters
is that we get to spend
as much time
as possible with Dad.
(SIGHS)
So, we should just take
the expressway, right?
Yeah, you're right.
But if you end up
inside a gelatinous cube,
you are on your own.
(TIRES SQUEAL)
GPS NARRATOR:
Manticore's Tavern
ahead on your right.
(RINGTONE PLAYING)
-Hey.
-COLT: I'm just checking in.
Did you catch up
to the boys yet?
No, not yet.
But I'm a little worried
because we had
a weird family issue
come up,
and, well, this just isn't
like Ian to run off.
I mean, Barley, yes,
but not Ian.
You know, it's late,
you shouldn't have to be out
looking for 'em.
I know, it's silly.
I'm sure they're both
probably on fire.
-Fire?
-Fire! The place is on fire!
-My boys! I gotta go!
-Laurel!
Get it off, get it off,
get it off!
Excuse me. Hello?
Please, I'm looking for
two teenage elves.
MANTICORE: I told you already,
there were two teenage elves.
Oh! Those are my sons.
Where did they go?
Oh. They went on a quest
to find a Phoenix Gem.
But don't worry, don't worry.
I told them about the map,
I told them about the gem,
I told them about the curse.
(GASPS) I forgot to tell them
about the curse.
-The what?
-Oh, boy.
Listen, this one's gone
a little... (WHISTLES)
Your boys are in grave danger!
But I can help!
(LAUGHING) Whoa, hey, hey!
You're not going anywhere.
We got questions for you.
I know where they're going!
We can still save them!
WOMAN: Okay, I think
everything's good here.
Last name "Manticore",
first name "The".
Hold on, you're right. She has
gone a little... (WHISTLES)
It's no wonder
with a wound like that.
That's just a scratch.
Oh, I'm sorry, are you
an expert on minotaurs?
-Manticores.
-Manticores?
Well, no...
Well, then you wouldn't know
that when their blood
is exposed to air,
it makes them go bonkers.
I don't think that's true.
See? She's already
losing her grip on reality.
So, why don't you let me
save her life
before it costs you yours?
-Okay.
-Thank you.
Could we have
a little privacy here, please?
Just lie back. That's good.
But get your head
a little bit higher.
Just don't take too long
back there, okay?
Hey, you hear me?
I said don't take too long
back there,
because... (EXCLAIMS)
All right,
how do we help my boys?
Ooh! I'm gonna like you.
BARLEY:
Radio, headlights, brakes,
tires, rims.
I mean,
it's hard to tell now, Dad,
before I replaced her parts,
Guinevere was actually
kind of a piece of junk.
Looks like we're not gonna get
to do everything today, Dad.
That's okay.
I just wanna meet you.
But don't worry,
we'll, uh, have you fixed up
and back home to see...
Oh, man. Mom!
Barley, we're not
gonna be able
to get Dad back in time
to see Mom.
Oh.
Well, Dad, at least you won't
have to meet the new guy.
(MIMICS COLT) So, you workin'
hard or hardly workin'?
(MIMIC COLT'S LAUGH)
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
(MIMICS COLT)
Barley, Barley, Barley.
Every time there's trouble,
I gotta deal with you.
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Is that your Colt?
Yeah.
You're gonna wanna work
on that.
No, no, no!
Come on, old girl.
(SIGHS) I thought you said
you fixed the van.
Relax. Guinevere is fine.
Her stomach
is just a little empty.
But it says
we have a full tank.
(LAUGHING)
No. That doesn't work.
Oh. Only a few drops left.
Maybe if
there's a gas station...
Hmm.
(SIGHS)
(BEEPING)
Is there a magic way
to get gas?
(GASPS) Oh! I like
your thinking, young mage.
(GRUNTS)
Growth spell!
We grow the can,
and then the gas inside
will grow with it.
Uh, that's kind of
a weird idea.
I know! I like it, too.
Okay.
Loosen up. Heart's fire.
Here we go.
Whoa. It's not that simple.
(CHUCKLES)
This one learns
a little magic,
thinks he's Shamblefoot
the Wondrous,
am I right, Dad?
A growth spell
is a bit more advanced.
Not only do you have to speak
from your heart's fire,
but now you also
have to follow a magic decree.
A magic what?
It's a special rule that keeps
the spell working right.
This one states,
"To magnify an object,
"you have to magnify
your attention upon it."
While you cast the spell,
you can't let anything
distract you.
Okay.
Ow!
-What?
-Splinter.
Can we sand this thing down?
No. It's an ancient staff
with magic
in every glorious fiber.
You can't sand it down.
All right. All right.
Here we go. Focus.
-Uh...
-Something wrong?
Sorry, it's just,
your stance is, uh... Here.
Chin up, elbows out,
feet apart,
back slightly arched.
-Okay, how's that feel?
-Great.
-Oh, one more thing...
-Barley!
Okay, okay.
Magnora Gantuan!
Don't let the magic spook you.
Okay.
-Elbows!
-What?
Elbows up!
No, no, no, it's too high.
That's too high.
I'm trying to focus here.
BARLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Focus. Focus on the can.
Focus.
(IAN STRAINING)
Focus.
Barley! Ah!
Forget it!
BARLEY: (LAUGHING) It worked!
The can is huge.
And the van is huge.
And you're...
Oh, no.
-What happened?
-Looks like you shrunk me.
How?
Well, if you mess up a spell,
there are consequences.
I only messed up because you
wouldn't stop bothering me.
I was trying to help you.
Well, don't try to help me.
Oh, okay. Fine. I won't!
Whoa, whoa. Dad, it's me.
(SCATTING)
Whoa! Dad, it's okay.
Don't worry.
I'm gonna fix this.
Well, where are you going?
IAN: (SIGHS)
To find a gas station.
-Well, I'm going, too.
-Fine.
Hey, I don't need your help.
Fine with me.
Oh. (PANTING)
(SIGHS)
(BARLEY PANTING)
I just need a little break.
My baby legs
can't go that fast.
Look, a gas station.
(GASPS) Good.
Oh, wait, I forgot.
(GRUNTING)
You don't need my help.
Hey, I don't need you to
carry me. I'm a grown man.
IAN: Dad!
Come on, it's okay.
Barley is with me.
BARLEY: Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.
The side effects are supposed
to wear off eventually.
Do I look any bigger yet?
(BIKES REVVING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(WHISTLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey! Did you
just bump into me?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't see you there.
Do it again, and you'll see me
in your nightmares.
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
This one's lucky. I know it.
Give me a bag of extra-sours.
Keep the change.
Outta the way, beanstalk.
Uh, 10 on pump two, please.
(BARLEY GRUNTING)
-What are you doing?
-I'm getting us food.
All right, I got it.
And a couple of these.
Thank you.
Psst. I have to
go to the bathroom.
Can it wait?
It's your pocket.
Can we have the bathroom key,
please?
Okay, be quick.
I want to get out of here.
BARLEY: Okay, I'm goin'.
That'll be 12.99.
MUSTARDSEED: Hey, watch it!
You got a problem, Shades?
Answer me
when I'm talking to you.
(SHUDDERS) I'm sorry,
I don't really know
where his head's at right now.
How could this night
get any worse?
(GRUNTS) You know, I would
fly us to help your boys,
but the old wings
aren't what they used to be.
Oh, that's fine.
So, about this curse...
It's my own fault.
I should be doing
my wing exercises
every morning,
but you know how that goes.
Please, the curse.
What does it do?
Right. Sorry.
It's a Guardian Curse.
If your boys take the gem,
the curse will rise up
and assume
the form of a mighty beast,
and battle your sons to the...
Ooh. Well, how do your boys do
in a crisis?
Not great. One of them
is afraid of everything,
and the other
isn't afraid of anything.
Yeah, that skinny kid of yours
is pretty fearless.
No, no.
You mean the big one, Barley.
No, no, the little guy.
Ooh, he really let me have it.
What? No, look, you said
you could help them, right?
Every curse has a core,
the center of its power.
And only one weapon forged of
the rarest metals
can destroy it,
my enchanted sword,
the Curse Crusher!
Well, okay, but you don't seem
to have that on you.
I sold it. (CHUCKLES)
Got in a little tax trouble
a few years back.
But don't worry,
I know just where to find it.
I am on my way, boys.
Just try to stay
out of trouble.
(DINGS)
(SIGHS)
What is taking you so long?
DEWDROP:
Who you calling "whimsical"?
Oh, no.
-BARLEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-You've got a lot of nerve.
BARLEY: I'm just saying,
sprites used to fly around
spreading delight.
That's a good thing.
Sprites can't fly.
Well, your wings don't work
'cause you stopped using them.
-You calling me lazy?
-No, no, no.
Not you. Your ancestors.
What did you say
about my ancestors?
I didn't mean lazy...
I'm sorry, very sorry.
He's sorry, too.
You don't need to fly.
Who needs to fly?
I mean, you've got
those great bikes.
What are you doing?
I was just discussing history.
Barley, I'm trying
to take care of you and Dad,
and you're not making it
any easier.
Dad, come on.
(GASPS) Oh, no.
(ALL SHOUTING ANGRILY)
Hey! You're dead! (YELLS)
We're dead! We're dead!
We're dead!
BARLEY: Relax. They won't be
able to lift those bikes.
-(BIKE ENGINES REVVING)
-They are strong.
We're gonna die! We're
gonna die! We're gonna die!
BARLEY: It's locked.
What? Where are the keys?
-(GASPS)
-(BIKES APPROACHING)
I got this.
Come on, Barley.
(STRAINING) Whoa!
Okay, go, go, go!
(GRUNTING)
No. No, no, no. No way.
You're gonna have to.
-(BIKES ROARING)
-(GASPS)
Come on.
Why won't it start?
-(ENGINE STALLING)
-There's a sweet spot.
Not in the middle,
not quite at the end.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Guinevere!
-(ENGINE STARTS)
-Put it in "o" for "onward."
(SPRITES SHOUTING)
-(GRUNTS)
-Drive!
Okay, you're gonna
have to merge.
-(IAN WHIMPERS)
-(HORN BLARES)
-BARLEY: Speed up!
-I can't do this.
-BARLEY: Yes, you can.
-I'm not ready!
You'll never be ready. Merge!
-(IAN GRUNTING)
-(ENGINE REVVING)
(IAN YELLING)
(LAUGHING) Nice job!
-(ALL SHOUTING)
-(LAUGHING)
-Hey, don't hit Gwinny.
-Barley!
-Oh, no.
-Get around 'em!
-They're not letting me in.
-Signal.
You don't have a signaler.
Stick your arm straight out
the window to signal left.
-(YELLS)
-(SPRITES YELLING)
-(GASPS) Get back here.
-Just keep driving.
-Barley!
-(GRUNTS)
BARLEY:
The mountains are north.
You need to get
all the way over.
(EXCLAIMS)
What the...?
(HORN BLARING)
Oh, it is on, Shades!
Get 'em!
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
-Ian, stay focused!
-I can't!
You have to focus
or we are all dead!
(WHIMPERS)
Just stay cool.
(GRUNTS)
-(AIR BLASTING)
-(SPRITES YELLING)
Way to go, Guinevere!
-(SCREAMING)
-(GRUNTS)
Hit it!
(SCREAMING)
BARLEY:
We're not gonna make it!
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(WHIMPERS)
(EXCLAIMS)
Dad, are you okay?
He's fine,
thanks to the skillful driving
of Sir Ian Lightfoot.
High five!
(GRUNTS) What is happening?
I think the spell
is wearing off. (GRUNTS)
Get off my face.
(SIREN WHOOPING)
-(GRUNTS)
-Chantor's Talon! Cops!
-Pull over.
-I don't have a license.
(EXCLAIMS)
My wallet's still tiny.
Step out of the vehicle.
-What are we gonna do?
-I don't know.
How are we gonna explain...?
Oh, no. Dad!
GORE: You have a long night
there, buddy?
SPECTER:
Sir, I'm gonna ask you
to walk this straight line.
(GASPS)
They're gonna take Dad.
(SOFTLY) Okay, okay.
Oh, I got it.
The disguise spell.
You can disguise yourself
to be anyone you want.
But what if I mess up again?
According to the spell,
"Disguising yourself
is a lie,
"so you must tell the truth
to get by."
As long as you don't tell
a lie, the spell will be fine.
Okay. Who are we gonna be?
Okay, we're taking you down
to the station.
IAN: (AS COLT, CLEARS THROAT)
What seems to be the problem
here, fellow police folk?
Officer Bronco?
Were you in that van?
Affirmative. And we will...
I mean, I will take
full responsibility
for that fella right there,
so you can just release him
over to me.
(WHISPERS)
Hey, I wanted to be the front.
No way. I'll do the talking.
Bronco, I thought
you were working
on the other side of town.
I, uh, changed my mind.
-(GASPS)
-Something wrong?
Just a little neck cramp.
(WHIMPERS)
(WHISPERS)
You have to stop lying.
Answer every question
with a question.
What exactly
are you doing out here?
Uh... What am I doing
out here?
What are any of us doing
out here?
Whoa. I never thought about it
like that.
Nice.
With all due respect,
you didn't answer my question.
Well,
we were just exercising
some driver's education drills
for Ian.
Who is Ian?
Oh, is that Laurel's kid?
Ian is Laurel's kid.
Your stepson was swerving
all over the road.
Yeah, well...
that guy's
not all there today.
Yeah, he does seem
a little off.
You seem
a little off yourself.
Uh, actually, if I'm being
completely honest,
I'm not super great
in this kind of situation,
and I'm starting to freak out
a little bit.
And I'm all sweaty and weird,
and I don't know what to say
and I just feel like
I can't do anything right,
and I'm a total weirdo.
Hold on, hold on.
I think I know
what's going on here.
Uh... You do?
It's not easy
being a new parent.
My girlfriend's daughter got
me pulling my hair out, okay?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
All right, we can let him go.
Okay, well, I'm just gonna
take him to the van.
Hey, it gets better.
All right? Good luck, Bronco.
You, too, Officer.
Keep workin' hard
or hardly workin'.
(LAUGHS)
Now, that was a good Colt.
I don't envy you, Bronco.
That Lightfoot kid
is a handful.
Uh, I'm gonna have to disagree
with you there.
I think Ian's
a pretty stand-up citizen.
Not him, the older one.
What?
I mean, the guy's a screwup.
You can't say you don't agree.
Um, I don't.
What?
(HESITATES)
I mean, okay, well...
I gotta get going.
Gotta get Ian home.
(HESITATING)
I mean, I'm late for work.
Sorry, I mean,
I'm feelin' a little sick.
I mean tired. Sick and tired.
Gotta go!
See you Monday!
(CHUCKLES) Oh, man.
Bronco is losin' it.
See, that's why
I never got married.
Old Gore can't be tied down.
-(RADIO STATIC)
-This is Specter.
Can you put me through
to Officer Colt Bronco?
Barley, I don't know
what happened back there.
But I don't think
you're a screwup.
Maybe the magic
just got it wrong, you know.
Yeah.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON CAR STEREO)
I don't know what happened.
-(INCREASES VOLUME)
-Barley! Barley!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
Where are you going?
Barley, come on.
This is all just...
I'm not a screwup.
I didn't say you were.
The magic said it for you.
Well, the magic got it wrong.
Magic doesn't get it wrong!
The cop asked a question,
you answered, and magic
revealed the truth. Right?
Right?
I don't know how
any of this stuff works.
All I know is that everything
we've done tonight
has gone wrong.
Yeah, it's gone wrong because
you won't listen to me.
Are you kidding?
Because everything we've done
has been your idea.
But you didn't do it my way.
You didn't let me
handle the Manticore.
You freaked out
when I talked to the sprites.
'Cause you don't think
I have good ideas.
What? Of course I do.
Great! Then I think we should
take the Path of Peril.
And I also think that
would be good, normally...
See?
But, I told you,
this isn't a game.
All that matters today
is Dad,
and right now
he's sitting in that van,
and he's confused...
What?
What is he doing?
I think he can feel
the vibrations of the music,
and he's dancing.
IAN: Wow.
He is terrible.
Yeah.
He's really, really bad.
Oh, no.
Here he comes.
No, no, no. Thanks, Dad.
Dad, thank you.
I'm good.
(CHUCKLES) Stop.
Okay. Okay.
(CHUCKLES) No, no, no!
I'm not really a big dancer.
Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Just imagine what the top half
of this dance looks like.
I bet it goes
something like this.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
BARLEY: Ow.
Ah, you danced your shoelaces
loose there, Pop.
(SIGHS)
You know,
I wanna see him, too.
Yeah, I know.
It's not fair for you
to call me a screwup
if you don't give me a chance
to get something right.
Just do one thing my way.
You really think
this Path of Peril
is the best way
to go to the mountain?
Okay.
Uh... So, where is
your magic sword?
It lies beyond those gates.
If we don't leave here
with the sword,
your boys are doomed.
GRECKLIN: There you are.
One garlic crusher.
No, Curse Crusher.
It's a large magical sword.
Sword.
Sword, sword, sword.
I mean, I got this thing.
-(LAUGHS) That's it!
-How much?
(GRUNTS)
-Let's call it, uh, 10.
-LAUREL: Great!
Forged of the rarest metals,
the only sword of its kind
in all the land.
(MANTICORE EXHALES)
Hello, old friend.
We shall never part again.
Oh! Turns out this sword
is the only sword of its kind
in all the land.
So, let's call it 10,000.
(CACKLES)
-You can't do that!
-Well, I just did. (CACKLES)
Okay, you had better...
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-Yeah?
Hey, I talked
to some other officers,
and they said the boys
were last seen going north.
-Are they okay?
-They're fine.
But the officers said...
Well, honey,
this night keeps getting
stranger and stranger.
Do you know who I am?
Some kind of
winged bear-snake lady?
Argh!
Winged lion-scorpion lady!
It sure does.
Listen, I need that sword.
My sons have
a once-in-a-lifetime chance
to see their father.
Now, my oldest son...
Holy son of a...
You killed her!
It's okay. She's only
temporarily paralyzed.
Hey, you can't do this.
-Well, I just did.
-Grab the sword.
Don't you touch that.
Here you go.
And a little something extra
for your trouble.
I love your store.
Oh, that's so pretty.
Hey! Hey!
-(LAUREL WHOOPING)
-(LAUGHS) Yeah!
Laurel, what's happening?
-MANTICORE: Yeah!
-Hello? Are you all right?
Laurel?
Oh, Colt, I can't talk.
The boys need me.
Wait! (SIGHS)
Dang those kids.
Huh.
BARLEY:
We're heading on a quest
Our father we must retrieve
The Lightfoot brothers
can't be stopped
Something, something
That rhymes with retrieve
(EXCLAIMS)
Yeah, we're still here.
Well, good morning to thee,
dear Lightfoot men.
Welcome to the Path of Peril.
IAN: It's not much of a path.
Well, you know, they never
really developed around here.
So, heads up,
we could run into anything.
A centicore, wolf dragon,
gelatinous cube.
Okay, what is
a gelatinous cube?
Oh, it's a giant green cube
that instantly disintegrates
all that it touches.
We are not gonna run into a...
Oh! Stop!
-BARLEY: Ahh!
-(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(BOTH SIGH IN RELIEF)
IAN: What is this?
BARLEY: Bottomless pit.
Whatever falls in there,
falls forever.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
(IAN GASPS)
Aw, Dad, come here.
Ian, check it out.
This is an ancient drawbridge.
We lower that bad boy
and we are on our way
to Raven's Point.
Look around for a lever.
IAN: Found it.
But it's on the other side.
Okay, I got this.
Aloft Elevar.
(BARLEY SNORTS)
You can't cast
a levitation spell
on something that far away.
It only has, like, a 15-meter
enchanting radius. (SNICKERS)
Dad, can you believe this guy?
What we need
is a Trust Bridge.
It's a spell that creates
a magical bridge
you can walk on.
Just say "Bridgrigar Invisia."
Okay. Bridgrigar Invisia.
Bridgrigar Invisia!
-It didn't work.
-No, the spell's still going.
You won't know if your bridge
worked until you step on it.
Step on what?
If you believe the bridge
is there, then it's there.
-But it's not.
-Well, not with that attitude.
I'm not gonna step out
onto nothing.
Now we've got a rope.
But you're not gonna
even need it because...
-I want the rope!
-Okay.
I'm just saying you're not
gonna need the rope,
because I know
you can make that bridge.
(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMING)
-(GRUNTS)
I'm dying! I'm dying!
I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!
-Oh, my life is over.
-I got you.
(STRAINING)
Okay, you fell.
-But was that so bad?
-Yes!
-Are you still alive?
-Yes.
Okay, so now you know
the worst that can happen.
So, there's nothing
to be scared of, right?
(EXHALES)
Bridgrigar Invisia!
-(INHALES SHARPLY)
-Hey. You can do this.
(BOTH LAUGH EXCITEDLY)
-Yeah!
-There you go!
-(YELPS)
-(GASPS)
(PANTING)
Believe with every step.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-(CHUCKLES)
-BARLEY: Oh, yeah!
You've got me, right?
I still got you.
(BARLEY WHOOPING)
Ian Lightfoot is fearless.
(GASPS)
This is amazing! (LAUGHS)
Yeah! But just keep going.
Don't look back.
Just straight ahead.
(LAUGHS)
You've still got the rope,
right?
Yeah, I got it.
I am not afraid!
Oh, man,
I could stay out here all day.
Huh. Huh.
Okay, but keep moving.
We've gotta see Dad, remember?
Hey, Dad,
this last step is for you.
-(GASPS AND SCREAMS)
-Ahh!
Oh. (SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(WHIMPERING)
(LAUGHS) He did it, Dad.
(WHOOPING)
(LAUGHS) That was amazing.
How long was the rope gone?
Oh, just, like,
the second half of it.
I needed that rope.
Oh, but did you?
Ian! Look.
It's a raven.
The clue on the menu said
Raven's Point.
Yeah. In the mountains.
But maybe the puzzle
didn't mean the mountain.
Maybe it means follow
where the raven is pointing.
(LAUGHS) It's another raven.
That one could be
pointing to another raven,
all the way to the gem.
I... I had us going
the wrong way.
Well, I told you.
My gut knows where to go.
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Don't you, boy? Yes, you do.
(CHUCKLES)
-Huh.
-Come on, Dad.
Guinevere will get us
to that raven in no time.
(SIREN WAILING)
You guys... (GRUNTING)
...are in trouble, big time.
No, no, no, Colt.
We found a spell.
If we finish it before sunset,
we'll get to see our father.
Ahh!
Well, uh, your mom told me
there was some kind
of strange (CLEARS THROAT)
family issue going on,
and this is
definitely strange.
But no, dang it.
I'm not letting you
upset your mother anymore.
Now you get in the vehicle,
I'm escorting you home.
No. No way.
I'm giving you
to the count of three.
(CLOPPING)
-Okay, we'll go.
-Ian.
He's a police officer.
-(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
-(ENGINE STARTS)
What are you doing?
I don't know.
(EXCLAIMS) Son of a...
(PANTING HEAVILY)
I need backup. Runaway van!
(BARLEY LAUGHING)
Yeah! Iandore Lightfoot,
breaking the rules.
I can't believe
I'm running from the cops.
BARLEY: You're not running
from the cops,
you're running from
our mom's boyfriend.
(SIRENS WAILING)
Okay, now you're running
from the cops.
(GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION)
Hold on!
BARLEY: Whoa! (LAUGHS)
Yeah! Nice going, Guinevere!
(BARLEY WHOOPING)
-(BOTH GASP)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh, what did I do?
I shouldn't have driven away.
No, it was great.
Hey, block the road
with those boulders.
What? How?
Arcane Lightning.
You said
that's the hardest spell.
You are ready.
"To make lightning
strike with ease,
"one must follow all decrees."
You have to do everything.
Speak from your heart's fire,
trust yourself, focus,
all of it.
Voltar Thundasir. (SIGHS)
Voltar Thundasir.
Voltar Thundasir!
(STRAINING)
-(SIRENS WAILING)
-(STAFF CRACKLING)
(GRUNTS)
I can't! I can't do it.
(PANTING)
We're not gonna see you, Dad.
And it's all my fault.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(INSPIRING INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
What are you doing?
What the...?
Barley.
She was just
a beat-up old van.
Come on, we gotta go.
(PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(GRUNTING)
Wait.
Oh. You see that, Dad?
The apprentice has become
the master. (CHUCKLES)
It looks like water.
IAN: So, what's the, uh,
X mean?
On a quest,
an X only means one thing.
We go to the end of the water,
we'll find that Phoenix Gem.
-(SNARLING)
-(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
Unicorns!
IAN: Whoa.
Cool.
(SIGHS) This water
could go on for miles.
We don't have that kinda time.
If we had something
to float on,
we could cast
a velocity spell on it,
fly down the tunnel
like a magic jet ski.
IAN: Well, there's not much
to float on.
Remember, on a quest,
you have to use
what you've got.
IAN: Magnora Gantuan!
(SPLASHING)
-IAN: Woo-hoo!
-(BARLEY LAUGHS)
Accelior!
BOTH: Whoa!
(CHUCKLES)
This is actually kinda cool.
So, what other spells
do you know?
(CHUCKLES) Brace yourself,
young mage.
I know all there is
to know of magic.
LAUREL: Colt, we know
where the boys are going.
We just have to get to them
before they unleash the curse.
-COLT: (OVER PHONE) The what?
-Let's crush some curses!
The curse. The curse
that protects the gem
by turning into
a rock dragon or something.
A what dragon?
I can't explain it.
I just know we have
to get to the boys fast.
Oh, we'll get to them fast.
We'll get to them so fast.
-(SLURPING)
-Oh!
Well, I almost had 'em,
but Ian, he just drove off.
-Huh. Good for him.
-What?
No, I just mean
he's scared to drive.
Thinks something's gonna
come at him out of the...
(ALL SCREAMING)
-(SHRIEKS)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(EXCLAIMS)
-(BOTH SCREAM)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
(CRASHING)
Oh! I think I stung my leg.
COLT: Laurel, what happened?
What's goin' on?
You almost killed me, lady.
Are you okay?
Where did you come from?
You were in our flight path.
(SPRITES GRUMBLING)
-SPRITE 1: Are you all right?
-I'm fine.
Oh, no. Our transport!
How are we going
to get to your sons now?
Come on, Pixie Dusters,
let's take to the skies.
SPRITES: Yeah!
SPRITE 2: I was born to fly!
How do you feel
about exercising those wings?
(NERVOUSLY) Uh...
Boombastia!
-Ah, remember...
-Oh, right.
Boombastia!
-Whoa!
-(BARLEY LAUGHS)
Yeah! You're a natural!
Think fast.
Aloft Elevar!
Yeah! (GRUNTS) Nice!
Careful how much boat
you're eating there, man,
we still gotta make it
to the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. Good point.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) I can't believe
I'm this close
to actually talking to Dad.
You know what
I'm gonna ask him?
If he ever gave himself
a wizard name.
What?
Well, 'cause he was
into magic.
Lots of wizards
have cool names.
Alora the Majestic.
Birdar the Fanciful.
(CHUCKLES)
Anyway, it'll just be nice
to have more than
four memories of him.
-Uh, three.
-Hmm?
You only have three memories.
Oh, yeah.
Barley, do you have
another memory of Dad
you haven't told me?
No, it's just not my favorite.
What do you mean?
(SIGHS)
When Dad was sick,
I was supposed to go in
and say goodbye to him.
But he was hooked up
to all these tubes,
and he just
didn't look like himself.
I got scared,
and I didn't go in.
That's when I decided
I was never gonna be
scared ever again.
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) Looks like
we're coming up on somethin'.
The final gauntlet.
The Phoenix Gem
is just on the other side.
Careful, there could be
booby traps.
This place is, like,
1,000 years old.
There's no way
there could be...
-(BOTH EXCLAIM)
-(WIND WHOOSHES)
Oh, no.
It can't be.
A gelatinous cube!
-(GASPS)
-(SIZZLES)
(CREAKING)
Run!
Whoa! Wait!
It's some kind of puzzle.
We gotta figure it out
before...
No time. Grab a shield.
(GRUNTING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
-Jump! Trust me!
-What?
(YELLING)
Aloft Elevar!
(LAUGHS)
Ow. (GRUNTS)
Ian.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(BOTH PANTING)
Whew!
(EXCLAIMS) Don't step on that.
(RUMBLING)
-(BARLEY YELPS)
-I didn't touch it.
Voltar Thundasir!
(TAKES DEEP BREATH)
The tile down there has
the same shape as the opening.
Maybe we were supposed
to step on it?
-What?
-I got it.
No, Barley!
(GASPS)
Oh! It's working!
(GASPS) It's impossible.
No one can hold
their breath that long.
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH TAKE DEEP BREATH)
(BOTH TAKE DEEP BREATHS)
(GASPING)
(BOTH LAUGH)
We made it!
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
The Phoenix Gem
awaits beyond this door.
Shall we?
We certainly shall!
Dad, we have followed
the quest,
and it has led us
to our victory!
(BUS HONKING)
We're back home.
No, that doesn't make sense.
We took the Path of Peril.
We followed the ravens,
we went to the end
of the water...
Unless the X meant
stay away from the water.
Or it could be,
like, a campfire?
It's okay.
We can figure this out.
Figure out what?
We're back where we started.
I mean, it has to be here.
There was a gauntlet.
I mean,
unless that gauntlet was for,
coincidentally,
some different quest.
-That's a possibility.
-What?
No, no, no. This has to be
where the Phoenix Gem is.
I followed my gut.
-Oh, no.
-What?
The gem is in the mountain.
The mountain
we could have been to
hours ago if we just...
If we just stayed
on the expressway.
No, the expressway
is too obvious.
You can never take
the obvious...
If I hadn't listened to you!
Okay?
I can't believe this.
You act like you know
what you're doing,
but you don't have a clue,
and that's because
you are a screwup.
And now you've screwed up
my chance
to have the one thing
I never had!
Where are you going?
To spend what little time
we have left with Dad.
Ian, wait!
We can still find
the Phoenix Gem.
We just have to keep lookin'.
Ian!
Ian!
No, Dad.
He's not here.
(PANTING)
Come on. Where is it?
Follow the water.
Ugh...
All right. Come on,
out of the fountain.
No, I'm looking
for an ancient gem.
Oh, yeah, we know.
"The old days."
No! Stop! Please! No!
Okay, ow, okay!
Okay. I'm leaving.
WORKER 1: Hey!
WORKER 2: Come on!
Can someone call the cops?
We got the history buff again.
(PANTING)
IAN: I can't do this.
BARLEY: Yes, you can.
-I'm not ready!
-You'll never be ready. Merge!
Nice job!
(PEN CLICKS)
-Think fast.
-Aloft Elevar!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SPUTTERING)
(BOTH GIGGLE)
(BOTH GRUNTING AND GIGGLING)
-(YELPS)
-(GIGGLES)
Woo-hoo!
BARLEY: I know
you're stronger than that.
My little brother
has the magic gift.
Don't hold back.
Hey. You can do this.
(PANTING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
SPECTER: Okay, come on.
Get down right now.
-(STONES RUMBLING)
-(GASPS)
Yeah! Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Barley!
Ian! Look!
(LAUGHS)
Behind you!
(GASPS)
It's a curse.
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
(ALL GASPING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
(WHIMPERS)
(PEOPLE WHIMPERING)
(GASPS)
(ROARS)
Barley, run!
What do you want? The gem?
Fine, take it!
Ha-ha!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(ROARS)
The Manticore!
Mom?
It's okay, boys,
we'll take care...
Whoa... You're tilting!
You're tilting!
-Mom!
-Go see your father!
It's okay! If they stab
the beast's core
with that sword,
the curse will be broken.
Come on!
(GROWLS)
(MANTICORE LAUGHS)
(MANTICORE PANTING)
(MANTICORE ROARS)
Barley, what I said before...
I am so sorry.
There's no time.
The sun's about to set.
(WHIMPERS)
Only once is all we get,
grant me this rebirth.
Till tomorrow's sun has set,
one day to walk the earth!
(ROARS)
Time to crush a curse!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
-(GROANS)
-(BONES CRACKING)
-Ooh, my back.
-(DRAGON ROARS)
(LAUREL GASPS)
I am a mighty warrior.
(PANTING)
I am a mighty warrior!
Hurry!
I can't hold this for long!
(STRAINING)
No! No, no, no!
Barley!
-(STONES RUMBLING)
-(GASPS)
(STRAINING)
Boys, it's coming back!
I'll go distract it.
What? No!
If you do that,
you'll miss Dad.
It's okay.
Say hi to Dad for me.
-No. You go and say goodbye.
-What?
I had someone
who looked out for me.
Someone who pushed me to be
more than I ever
thought I could be.
I never had a dad,
but I always had you.
Bridgrigar Invisia!
Boombastia!
(ROARS)
Aloft Elevar!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
No!
(ROARS)
(WHIMPERS)
No! No, no, no!
(STRAINS AND GASPS)
Use what I have.
Uh, what do I have?
I have nothing.
Splinter.
Magic in every fiber.
Magnora Gantuan!
No!
Voltar Thundasir!
Ian!
Accelior!
(PANTING HEAVILY)
(PANTING)
LAUREL: Ian!
(GASPS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(GRUNTS)
(WILDEN LAUGHING)
(GASPS SOFTLY)
(SNIFFLES)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
What did he say?
He said he always thought
his wizard name
would be Wilden the Whimsical.
Wow. That's really terrible.
I know. (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
He also said he's very proud
of the person
you grew up to be.
Well, I owe
an awful lot of that to you.
He kinda said that, too.
Oh, and he told me
to give you this.
IAN: Long ago,
the world was full of wonder.
It was adventurous,
exciting,
and best of all,
there was magic.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
SPRITE: Whoa! Watch it!
-(LAUGHS) Bullseye!
-(SPRITES CHEERING)
And then, with a slash
of my mighty sword,
I severed the beast's wings
from its wretched body!
-(KIDS GASPING)
-Okay, who wants cake?
-(KIDS CHEERING)
-(CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY)
And I think, with a little
bit of magic in your life,
you can do almost anything.
Is that how you
put the school back together?
Uh, yes.
STUDENT: Is that also
how you destroyed
the school in the first place?
Uh, also yes.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
-Hey, that was great.
-Thanks.
-You going to the park later?
-Yeah! See you there.
Mom! Oof!
-(LAUGHING)
-(BLAZEY YIPPING)
Blazey, down!
Who's a good dragon?
Who's a good dragon?
So, how was school?
It was really good.
Well, all right.
Hey, there he is.
You workin' hard?
-No, hardly workin'.
-(CHUCKLES)
Oh, I gotta go. I'm meeting
the Manticore for a night out.
DISPATCHER: (ON RADIO) We got
a one-one-three in progress.
All units report.
Duty calls.
Time to hit the trails.
Oh, you forgot your keys!
Don't need 'em.
I was born to run.
Hyah!
-(EXCLAIMS)
-Oh!
-(GRUNTS)
-Ah. (CHUCKLES)
So, how's the new van?
Oh. Guinevere the Second
is great.
I've almost got enough saved
up for a sweet paint job.
-No, please don't.
-Why not?
Because I already
took care of it.
Oh, yeah!
Okay, best way to the park
is to take
a little something
called the Road of Ruin.
-Uh... It's too obvious.
-Wait, what?
On a quest, the clear path
is never the right one.
-BARLEY: (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah!
-(IAN LAUGHING)
(FOLK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
You're the soul
who understands
The scars
and made me who I am
Through the drifting
sands of time
I got your back
and you got mine
If you bear a heavy load
I'll be your wheels
I'll be the road
I'll see us through
the thick and thin
For love and loss
until the end
'Cause you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
From the day it all began
Yeah, you were there
You took my hand
And when I hurt
a bit too deep
You watched me
as I fell asleep
And when my head
was in the cloud
You found a way
to pull me out
You picked my heart up
off the ground
And showed me
love was all around
Yeah, you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
Oh, we'll be sitting
on the world together
Watching as the days
turn into night
We know how to brave
the stormy weather
And we're never giving up
without a fight
If you should ever
bear a heavy load
I'll be your wheels
I'll be the road
I'll see us through
the thick and thin
For love and loss
until the end
'Cause you carried me
with you
From the highest
of the peaks
To the darkness of the blue
I was just too blind to see
Like a lighthouse in a storm
You were always guiding me
Yeah, it's true
You carried me with you
Oh, you carried me
with you