Operation White Christmas (2023) Movie Script
1
You want to know
what happened?
Then listen carefully.
Music: "It will soon be dark"
It soon will be dark out,
it soon will be night.
So, I come 10 you here,
my saviour on watch.
I come to sing a song
to the dear little one.
You don't want to sleep soon,
I just hear you cry.
Hush-a-bye,
Hush-a-bye.
Sleep sweetly dearest little child.
Forget now, oh little child,
your grief and your sorrow.
That you have to suffer
in the stable, on the heath.
Oh, the angels they adorn
your manger.
More beautifully
than a king's house.
Hush-a-bye, hush-a-bye.
Hush-a-bye, hush-a-bye.
Okay, wait a second.
That was a little too fast.
Let's rewind a bit.
It all began
about three weeks ago.
In a small town named
Klagenfurt am Wrthersee.
It was the end of November,
the beginning
of the Christmas season.
And while most people
were looking forward to Christmas,
one of them had ...
It's this one, Enis.
He didn't have a clue about
what was waiting for him
this year's Christmas.
And before I tell you
the whole story,
there's one thing you should
keep in mind.
It's not tranquil,
it's not sweet,
but so isn't Shrek.
Hello?
Hooray! Bravo!
Grandma!
Welcome to world of Enis.
Welcome
to the last video store in town
and within a radius
of 100 kilometres.
Which explains why Enis
even has Italian customers.
But these customers
aren't just customers,
they are family.
And this one you'll see in a minute,
whose name nobody knows,
that's his best friend.
Did you win "The biggest loser"?
What's up with your clothes?
You sent me an invitation
to a theme party.
I did?
- Yes.
Okay, that explains a lot.
- Mhm.
Gosh, this stupid detox.
But at least he got my invitation.
That guy with Pfarrer Mohr?
That's mincemeat Horst.
What's that on his apron?
Yeah, he came directly
from the slaughterhouse.
He doesn't believe in bacteria.
- Uhm ...
You probably haven't seen him yet
because you always sleep
during the day.
Great, then everyone's here,
I guess.
Speech, speech!
Yes, let's hear a speech.
It's gonna be a disaster.
- Shush.
Well, hello.
Thank you all for coming.
Thanks a lot.
Enis, you're a hero.
What should I say?
Just go with the flow,
take it slow.
It doesn't matter who we are
and where we come from.
It's love that connects us.
That's right!
Love for movies
which infects us.
Josh Hartnett once said:
"Nobody asks to be a hero,
it just sometimes
turns out that way."
I'm not a hero.
I owe all of this to my dad.
This video store was a dream of his.
And the last memory I have of him.
But thanks to you,
I can live his dream.
You are the real heroes.
And you're the reason
that there's no wrecking ball
hiding behind that door,
unlike with other video stores.
It's gonna be tough.
Fuck V.O.D.!
Fuck V.O.D.!
But we will not go
quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on,
okay?
We're going to survive.
- Yes!
Bill Pullman.
Independence Day.
We ride together.
We die together.
Bad boys for life!
Yeah!
And I want to thank
two really important people.
They gave me a home
and always believed in me.
It didn't matter if I screwed up,
you were always by my side.
You chose my dreams
over yours.
I really want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you.
I promise,
I will pay you back each penny.
You're acting like a bumpkin version
of Marlon Brando
and lying to all of them.
Although this video store
is responsible for your empty
bank account.
I thought you weren't
touching computers at the moment.
I'm clean.
But your account is as safe
as a school's locker.
I'm just looking out for you.
Like Trinity does for Neo.
And that although you're
not nearly as good looking.
And get rid of that.
Ass hair is sexier than that.
Not even close, Keanu.
- Okay, you know what? Shut up.
Enis Altmann,
you need a plan.
Who are you?
My grandma?
Okay, you're my best
platonic friend ...
No, I'm your only friend.
Because you are my best friend,
I found an exit strategy
in the darknet for your debt.
I'll say it one last time:
I don't need your help.
We're closed.
- Oh, pardon me.
The light was still on,
so I thought ...
Yeah, no problem.
Come in, come in.
You haven't been here before?
- No.
Can I help you with something?
- I think you can, young man.
Excuse my curiosity,
but did you throw
a Christmas themed party today?
No, we celebrated our jubilee.
We? You mean you and
this Chinese VHS, right?
This VHS is part of the inventory.
It's my store.
"Have you ever seen
blood in the moonlight?"
Yeah, often.
Good grief.
Oh, that's probably a quote
from the movie.
Well, no,
I've never seen that movie.
But I like the title.
"Manhunter".
Well, well.
You know, I'm almost embarrassed
saying this out loud,
but I still have a video recorder
at home.
Mhm.
Do you want to see something cool?
Yes.
Behold.
The beating heart
of this video store.
Well, that's impressive.
Wow, that's something.
Can you smell it?
That's the 90s.
I never thought
I'd experience something like this.
Brand new movies on VHS.
You only get them here.
Of course, including a free of charge
playback device.
Say, is this all legal?
Okay, I would just need
to see your ID shortly
and for every new customer,
the fifth movie is free of charge.
I'm sorry,
but I really would rather not
continue listening to your
nonsense any longer.
Let's drop this comedy show.
- Can you do that once more?
I'm sorry,
where are my manners.
Could you let this VHS know
that it would be smart for her
to make a move now?
Would you be as kind, Enis?
That's your name, right?
Do we know each other?
- Well, I do know you.
Can you guess why?
Because, in all modesty,
I'm the best in this business.
And what kind of business
would that be?
A problem centred business.
Solving problems quickly
and discreetly is my passion.
Believe me,
nobody in this entire world
solves complicated cases
faster than me.
You know what they call me?
I'm called the sphincter.
But friends call me Bobby.
Bob.
Fuck!
Okay, I propose we talk
about the payment terms first.
How do you want to pay?
Cash, gold,
transfer, Bitcoin?
What?
"What" is the ugly brother
of "Beg your pardon.
What?
The deal was
that I take over your debt.
Oh my god,
that guy is my exit strategy
from the darknet.
Wait a second.
For God's sake.
NaughtyNinja156?
- Mhm.
I didn't keep up mentally.
Lost my composure once again.
Would it be okay for you
if I added one percent
to the commission
to make amends?
Commission?
- What commission.
Here goes the stroke simulator again.
I'm impressed,
chapeau, chapeau.
That guy's all you promised me.
He'd believe anything.
Okay then, listen up.
I have to get a job done
and you're short on cash.
So, for you not having to close
this small but fine museum forever,
and because I don't want to
get my hands dirty,
we could help each other.
I help you,
and you help me.
You know, similar to that movie
with the lambs ...
Quid pro quo.
I've got this for you as well.
A small present.
Lucky piggy.
Then it's done.
I hope you have a tranquil
first advent.
Naughty Ninja and commission?
I really don't know
what he's talking about.
Are you crazy?
My last session
in the darknet was for you!
You could really be more thankful,
you know.
Because you brought
the Grim Reaper in?
I told you
I didn't need any help!
90.000 euros.
Where do you wanna get
that much money from?
Everything that you've done
in your life up until now,
you did for this video store,
for your father's gift.
You could get rid of all debt
in just one night.
Besides that, you could
give something to your grandparents
that they don't have to buy
themselves.
Don't be such a coward
and let's do the job
for the sphincter.
This may be your last chance
to fix this.
(I owe all of this to my dad.
This video store was his dream.)
(And the only memory
I have of him.)
(90.000 euros.)
(Where do you want to get that from?
Don't be such a coward.)
(Enis Altmann,
you need a plan.)
(I help you,
and you help me.)
(You know, similar
to that movie with the lambs.)
(Quid pro quo.)
Check your account.
Your account has been balanced.
Naughty Ninja
got the details for today.
All the best, Bob.
You really need
to synchronize your watch.
Uhm ... I had to do
the daily closing calculations.
That's a long time
for counting 40 euros.
I told you a thousand times
to not hack my account.
And what car is this?
- We're just test driving.
Check out your outfit for today.
It's in the next seat.
Sphincter said
you should wear that
and then press the bobblehead.
Good evening, you sissy.
Your job is a handover
of a high-tech Panzerfaust.
It's called the "Red Star".
You're Prinz Nuri,
a postpubertal desert warlord.
Is that SpongeBob's voice?
- Dude, who photoshopped that?
The Kardashians?
Do I look like an Arab?
It's the same for us
asians and lego figures.
We all look the same
to Austrians.
Your partner is called Lucy Lu.
An internationally wanted
crazy super terrorist.
She arranged the Panzerfaust deal
over the darknet.
The buyers:
Wog Killer Fred.
Leader of the notorious
carantanian defence squad.
And Penalty Peter,
the guy with the death stretch.
Probably the two most dangerous guys
from here to the Groglockner.
Are you bat shit crazy?
- You little sissy.
We're real criminals.
With real people.
Analogous crime is sexy.
Those dim-witted skinheads
are our jackpot.
Was it really clever
to hand a high-tech Panzerfaust
over to two skinheads?
And who would've been so stupid
to believe their costumes?
No, it was not clever.
And nobody was that stupid.
But Enis had no choice,
he was in debt.
With the sphincter.
What's up?
They don't look scared.
Just shut up.
I'll talk.
Okay.
Salam aleikum.
Uhm ...
What you got for us?
Dude, are you fucking with me,
ping-pong?
I didn't say that much.
We are offering you
the brand new and most efficient
high-tech Panzerfaust worldwide.
The Red Star.
Built in North Korea
and stolen by our agents.
Even the NSA is looking for it.
The tracker has been disabled.
The weapon is located
here on the premises.
You get it as soon
as the money has been transferred
to the royal account.
His royal highness
Prince Nuri's time is precious.
Well then, gentlemen.
This was your chance.
Salam aleikum.
W aleikum a salam.
If you go, you go with a bam.
Take cover, God damnit.
Police!
Hand up and freeze!
G6 in formation.
Shoot 'em down!
This is the police.
Surrender.
Dude, shoot!
- Shit.
Target at three o'clock.
Smoke grenades!
Secured several targets across.
Target one not identified.
Repeat.
Target one not identified.
Target one escaped.
That you is.
You me understand?
Sure.
Do you need to see a doctor?
Better be careful
and watch that mouth of yours.
Who will get a clyster
from the doctor.
Why were you at that hangar?
There was a flyer
for a student movie in my mailbox.
We didn't find any cameras.
Well, yes.
They filmed with their mobiles.
It's kind of like
"The Blair witch project.
A found-footage-film.
But it's action
and with mobiles.
Without forest and witch.
Witch.
- Is it ringing a bell?
I'm gonna ring your head,
you smurf.
Do you even know
who these guys are?
It's a radical right-wing
private army.
That's not
what the flyer said.
You little!
- Lausegger!
I'll take it from here.
Prepare the briefing.
What are you wating for?
Why were you in that hangar, huh?
I told your little monkey friend
all that I know.
I don't have to talk to you.
Or is this a case of imminent danger
according to paragraph 47?
Can I go now?
Well, he seems
to know the paragraphs.
Way to go,
your little brother
could teach you some things.
I'm sure you're
very proud of him, am I right?
Let him go.
You're kidding, right?
He's not a threat.
He's just stupid.
So, the police let you go
and there's hope for your store.
Thank Allah.
But you're kinda pale,
Turk boy.
Do I need to worry?
The arms deal was a total disaster.
Panzerfaust gone.
Relax, missy.
Me, you and your ...
whatever your relationship is,
we're friends.
And friends always
deserve a second chance.
But well, the arms deal
was just a test to see
if you would do anything.
And you passed.
And now moving on
to the actual job.
On Christmas Eve,
Kazakhs reeking of vodka, caviar
and eastern European whores
will probably land here
in this megacity
to do some illegal business
with the federal government.
It's about water privatisation,
passports, sea property, et cetera.
The whole thing is well
disguised as a state visit.
And the Kazakh president,
if you know her,
will visit in person
in order to divert attention
from her entourage's intrigues.
And my clients, whose names
I am of course not allowed to mention
according to the GDPR,
they simply want to prevent the fact
that really soon,
everyone will know someone
who does business with a Kazakh.
Let's put it this way:
A few influential industrial magnates
don't want Kazakhstan
to buy up land and people
in Carinthia.
So, this state visit would be really
a thorn in their flesh.
And we are to prevent that?
Are you joking?
Do I look like I'm joking?
Woah!
Shit, is that blood?
If you want,
you can have your money back.
No, no, no.
That's not how we do it, my friend.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Or do you really want me
to use that hammer?
A very blood mess, truly.
But as I said,
I'm fine with anything.
But don't dare to fuck with me!
Okay, friends,
sabotage the state visit.
I won't have mercy.
Don't let me down
in front of my customers.
There will be no third chance.
Attention!
At ease.
Poseidon will land
on the 24th of December
at 0800 at the Klagenfurt airport.
As soon as the convoy
with the seven
armoured vehicles starts moving
and leaves the airport grounds,
that's when we take over.
For this,
we're providing 300 officers ...
Well, I guess we almost missed
the arms deal at the airport
because you're on the phone
while working hours, Mrs analyst?
Get out!
Let us be clear on this.
I don't allow amateurs
in my commando.
From this moment on,
I want illimitable concentration
and extraordinary performance.
Have I made myself clear?
Yes, colonel.
There's a lot of people out there
that want to sabotage
this state visit.
Our mission:
Sabotating the sabotage.
Any further questions?
"Foxtrot, Echo, Romeo.
Copy that."
"We can't land in this weather.
We have to turn back."
"I repeat,
we cannot land in this weather."
"We must turn back."
Hey, what's up?
Did I wake you?
- No.
Why are you whispering?
- The cleaning lady is still here.
I don't want to involve her.
I don't understand
why everyone likes books so much.
There's nothing
about modern warfare in here.
And you?
- No, nothing.
"I've watched all
action movies from Kazakhstan."
I think we've failed.
There are some things
you don't learn from 90s movies.
So, don't give up faster
than a grey-headed albatross pees.
Why I know that?
From these dead boring books.
Do you think Ethan
made so many unnecessary sequels
because he's a sissy?
"Anyway, you have me."
- Did you even listen?
"The city will be fortress.
We're no gangsters."
"Or do you know anybody
that knows how to deal with this?"
Of course, that's it!
We're meeting tomorrow morning.
I'll send you the coordinates.
And wear your costume.
Coordinates and sheikh costume.
Does sound like she had a plan.
But not Enis.
He was clueless.
Hey, wait! No!
Stop it!
Shit, where in the heck are we?
Fuck!
It didn't go 100 percent
as planned.
What are you ... shit!
What did I do?
There is someone.
There is someone.
Someone's coming.
Be quiet.
- Shit.
Do you hear that?
Someone's coming.
Shit, shit, shit.
Okay.
Hey!
We had a deal.
That's not how you treat a prince.
I want to talk the boss,
right now!
(Arabic:) Eye for an eye
and the whole world will be blind.
Mhm.
(Arabic:) You don't know
shit about Arabic.
Right, Turk?
So, that was her plan?
Let's ask the wog killer for help.
That's another kind of crazy.
He'd seen right through them.
But for some reason
they were still alive.
That's his eco Guantanamo.
Yeah, I know.
The plan is buggy.
It's time, let's go.
To get information,
the wog killer has a special method.
He makes his victims
snorkel in Carinthian cow shit
until they tell him the truth.
And they were in deep shit.
But they had to tell
these bald-headed idiots.
Because if anyone would want to
sabotage a Kazakh secret operation,
it was them.
If not, Enis and
his hacker friend on detox
would be lost forever.
That's why we wanted
to ask you for help.
Please.
But these idiots
didn't give a shit
about the visit
of the Kazakh president.
As a proponent of tradition
and nostalgia,
the tragedy surrounding
the cultural heritage of your father
does move me.
That's why I want to help you.
And only because of that.
I'm also convinced
that the authorities
were on to the hangar
even before our deal.
Maybe the airport
plays a key role in this state visit.
So, you're gonna
take a look around.
Sorry, I just wanted to help.
But since I've been offline ...
I didn't think
we'd end up in a brown lagoon.
It's not your fault.
But I think I know
what I need to do.
I have to take matters
into my own hands now.
Yeah, man!
Look.
Isn't that too risky?
Or is your drone invisible?
Can you get in closer?
Closer than a shit house fly.
The wog killer was right.
Something was fishy.
Soldiers from Kazakhstan.
Everywhere.
Conspiracy.
They're even selling
the Eurofighters to the Kazakhs.
Unidentifiable flying object
at twelve o'clock.
Shit.
Widowitz,
you had clear orders.
Are your querulants
up there sleeping
or do I have to assume
that my instructions
were too cryptic?
What task were you assigned?
Object protection.
- And why are you not fulfilling it?
How many men
in your utterly desolate troop?
In addition,
we have requested further staff
from a local security service
provider for external surveillance.
You're all as irrelevant
as a pig's head brawn
in the Hindu Kush.
A state visit is not an undertaking
for trivial village disco bouncers,
or underpaid traffic citation
issuers.
Today it was a toy.
Tomorrow it will be a dirty bomb.
And now for the record: From now on
we need radio surveillance,
a mobile radar
and a drone defence system.
Our mission is to protect our
colleagues from Kazakhstan
so they can do their job,
understood?
Understood, colonel.
Would you like to see the
command centre in the tower?
My colleague will do that.
My pleasure.
Lady's first.
And now,
show me the drone footage.
Is that a soviet CH59?
Well, somebody did their homework.
Yes, "The hunt for red October".
Only that these CH59 rockets
were remodel led for the use
of silver iodide.
Silver o-what?
- Iodide.
Silver iodide,
pay attention.
That's a metallic ...
you know, for ...
You need it for ...
- Peter, stop.
That's a chemical substance
that prevents storms.
And with these rockets,
it's being
sprayed into the atmosphere.
Same concept is used with
anti-hale rockets in agriculture.
The Kazakhs are controlling
the weather?
Why?
It's human nature
to try and play God.
What do you think the most powerful
person on earth is capable of?
Jeff Bezos is not a Kazakh.
But the Kazakh president is one.
You're not the brightest bulb
in the box, huh?
For real?
You think the most powerful person
is a Kazakh?
Or a Chinese?
- Why, because there are so many?
Are you done now?
From state holidays
to holidays at the Black Sea.
The weather is controlled
by the Kazakh president.
We only have one opportunity
to save your video store.
"And now the weather
with Antenne Karnten."
"With daily highs of five degrees,
the first week of Advent
will be dry throughout the country."
"Light precipitation
can only be ..."
I don't know what he's up to,
but his timing is on point.
We sabotage the state visit
of the president,
through taking
some of her power.
In order to do so,
we need rain, fog or snow.
What do you mean?
She won't come if it snows?
If it snows on Christmas Eve,
we won't only save your video store,
but then we'll have a nostalgic
white Christmas again.
That's why we need to do
everything possible
to prevent
these Eurofighters' take-off,
as they would prevent
potential snowfall.
From now on, my people will
take over the reconnaissance.
The operational area covers a radius
of five miles around the airport.
This mission stands or falls
on an accurate weather forecast.
That's why Mai-Tai
is going to step out of detox
for the time being
and get us a top-notch meteorologist.
And you,
you go back to your video store
and just do what you always do.
And if anything comes up,
you guys get in touch.
A pager? I didn't know they were
technically degenerated as well.
We are what?
Non-cooperation with evil
is as much a duty
as is cooperation with good.
Operation White Christmas
starts right now!
Better than Operation White Power.
That's where they spent
the whole night.
Until Enis finally understood
what it was all about.
With the Eurofighters
and the CH59 rockets
they wanted to prevent
snow from falling on Christmas.
The Kazakh president
only comes when it's not snowing.
The Eurofighters
had to be stopped so it does snow
and the state visit won't happen.
As the sphincter had demanded.
Quite simple, actually.
If it wasn't the brother of Enis,
Tim.
Close all sewer tops and install
additional motion detectors.
The sewers are now a restricted area.
I don't even
want to see a single rat.
Is that clear?
- Understood.
Good day.
Hello there all of you.
Why are civilians climbing down here?
What did I just say?
Have a nice day and salami.
Knig Claudia, state governor.
I want to thank you
in the name of all Carinthians,
that you are taking such great care
of my state.
As you know,
a long time ago,
the sun fell from the skies.
And this state visit
is not only a glimmer of hope
for Kazakhstan,
but for our whole region.
Maybe our timing is off,
but we Carinthians
are problem solvers.
And a 100 percent liquidity
also means 100 percent popularity.
So, emergency nationalisation
times "Stadionwald"-projects
equals outright majority.
I also recommended you
for a promotion.
It's not only my future
that depends on your success.
And let your deputy
know his place.
Can we take a picture
for the newspaper?
Of course!
There's some great smoked sausage
at the Christmas market.
I don't know
if it's made from pork.
I know it's organic
and totally locally.
Operation White Christmas.
The rescue mission
for his video store had begun.
And Enis told everybody.
"It's two weeks before Christmas.
"And we have a very special
prize game for you."
I welcome Enis
from the video store "Bellissimo".
Hello, good evening.
- Hello, a very pleasant evening.
So, what's the deal?
We're doing Christmas bets
this year.
For our customers
and prospective ones.
And you can win
great movie packages for next year.
The winner will be chosen on the 24th
of December before closing hours.
We're living at a time
in which we are downright flooded by
internet streaming services.
"And you're still running
one of the last video stores."
"Quite successfully."
"What's your secret?"
- My loyal customers.
The long talks,
the passion for movies.
You know, I always say
you have to touch people's hearts.
It was always the audience
that conferred movies
a sense of immortality.
And it's the same
with the video store.
"As long as there's an audience,
we are untouchable.
"It was fate that I could turn
my hobby into a career."
And it's my calling
to provide you
with the best entertainment.
People are important to you?
- Absolutely.
People are family,
and family is the most important.
Very wonderful words
to conclude this talk.
And let's all hope that we'll have
a white Christmas this year.
"Weatherman.
Tomorrow. 10 PM."
Bye, grandpa.
- Hey, look who's here.
Surprise.
Come on in.
Come closer.
Say "Carinthia".
- Carinthia.
Why didn't you wish for
a digital camera?
Son, there's nothing more authentic
than an analogue image.
Quality ...
- .. and nostalgia. I know.
Things you don't understand.
We ... have a performance
the day after tomorrow.
How long are you staying
in Klagenfurt?
I can't tell you.
- Come on, Tim.
If you can't trust your family,
who can you trust?
Yes, whom?
How is Alev and the fireflies?
Do you have any new photos?
Yes, I do.
Here you go.
Oh, that's so sweet.
What is he doing there?
He made a terracotta vase
for his piano teacher.
A terracotta vase?
For the piano teacher?
He's two.
And he's already
going to the museum?
Of course, they're exhibiting
his paintings there.
He loves contemporary
watercolour painting.
He didn't take after his uncle,
I guess.
He's got a lot of friends, for sure.
- Yes, he does. Are you jealous?
Not everyone knows
early on where life takes him.
I only knew when I turned 30.
Yes, and some never do.
(Turkish:) Fuck off.
- Son of a donkey.
Asshole.
They're still fighting.
Where did we go wrong?
- You didn't.
No one did anything wrong.
Mom and Dad also didn't.
Enis is what he is.
I have to go now.
Too bad.
Why is there snow everywhere?
Ye-he's, I'll be right there.
You're taking a Nazi to a Jew's home?
Are you nuts?
Nathanael Gluckstein?
And who wants to know?
Austrian secret service.
Are you from the NSA?
Let me introduce you
to Ming Di-Nasty,
our expert from Thailand.
Sawadee Krap.
Excuse me,
but that's all for my Thai.
The nail designer of my cousin
is from Phuket.
Ah!
You should put on some as well.
The UV-light in here
is very concentrated.
If outside snow you see,
you need Vitamin-D.
Turn it off again.
What can I do for you?
Move.
She said that we need
a detail led weather forecast
for a top-secret peace mission
during Christmas time.
And you're said to be the best.
Doctor, Doctor Meteorology.
And your ticket
to the Sonnblick observatory.
If you'd like.
By the way, I'm single.
That's great.
What kind of mission is this?
Well, you know ...
- I not can say detailed anything.
But children many will be happy.
Children, beautiful!
If it's about children,
my help is free of charge, of course.
The weather is a mouthpiece
of the eternal.
If you understand the skies,
you understand him.
And thus,
I am the master of the weather.
Exactly what we were looking for.
That's why there was snow outside.
He was no Copperfield,
but he had an interactive home
with a genius app.
And he knew about the weather.
And that's why he was their man.
The team was complete.
But there's one thing
that Enis didn't think about.
Time was running out.
And that was the long awaited
half-time whistle.
I heard you on the radio.
You're quite the star
around here.
Oh, excuse me.
Do you want some, too?
- I have allergies.
Allergic to chestnuts?
Oh dear.
Is live even worth living
then anymore?
But I'm wondering ...
Do you even want to live?
Christmas Turk?
Do you think
I enjoy being mean to you?
Let me show you something.
That's my little Phil.
I can see him once a year
for 60 minutes.
That's an hour.
And I spend it explaining to him
why his father
doesn't have time for him.
And for this annual ritual,
his mom,
my dirty skunk of an ex-wife,
deliberately chose Christmas Eve.
That's the price I pay
for what I do.
And you, as a man of the people,
can surely understand
that I don't want
to miss this appointment.
From now on,
you will be available day and night.
It doesn't matter to me
if you're in the shit house
or doing a threesome with a friend.
And if you dare to focus
on anything else than our deal
and the Kazakhs don't change
their plans ...
Then I'll be ...
decorating a little
Anti-Christmas tree this year.
With your entrails as tinsel
and your empty nut
as a Christmas tree ball.
I guess you would agree
it would be nice to prevent that.
Phil is counting on you.
Oh, it's 12:03 AM again.
Time flies.
Right?
Now we have twelve days left.
Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock, tick-tock.
Oh, you joyful,
oh, you blessed,
grace bringing Christmas time.
Sorry.
Heavenly hosts
rejoicing to honor you.
What are you doing here?
- That's what the Turk said.
His family sings in the choir.
Turks singing in Klagenfurt.
Hasn't happened since 1716.
Austrian grandparents.
- Mhm.
Adoptive grandparents.
- Okay, are you done?
Snow falls softly at night.
Aren't you checking your pagers?
- Didn't get anything.
I didn't have reception.
"The occluded front
over western Europe
is shifting further
and further eastwards and thus,
cold air is flowing
into the Mediterranean region,
which is leading to the formation
of a cyclogenesis."
"At the moment, there is a stable
area of high pressure over Europe."
What is he saying?
I don't get it.
The mission is starting tonight.
What, for real?
Shanghai, status report.
After I evaluated all the photos
of your genius men,
which would probably
only give ornithologists wet dreams,
we had exactly two matches.
Igor Oleg, defected Soviet pilot and
his daughter Natasha Koslova.
Kazakh fighter pilots.
Stationed in Syria until recently.
Presumably only these two are
authorised to fly these missions
and are accommodated
in different parts of the city.
Shit, you're right.
And they are being picked up
shortly before midnight.
We have to strike at two places
at the same time.
And we only have one chance.
I'm having goosebumps all the way
down to my panties. You too?
Mission starts at 2200.
I hope you planned this
painshakingly?
I planned it painstakingly
and not painshakingly.
You're another kind of stupid.
Come on, be a smartass,
like his brother.
No, I won't.
- You should.
What the fuck?
His grandparents
are singing in the choir
with the house slave
of the wog killer.
Shush.
Enis!
- Grandma, hey.
It's so nice
you finally made it.
Yes.
- And he brought the VHS as well.
Namaste.
Freddy!
Daggi.
Freddy?
Hey, hello.
Daggi?
Manfred.
- Helmut.
Peng, peng, puff.
- Howdy-Doody.
You know each other?
Yes, since he joined the rectorate
he never missed a concert.
You know each other, too?
- Yes, Freddy's a customer.
A real fan of historic "Heimatfilms"
which take place
before the post-war period.
Sorry, but I have to interrupt.
We have to go now.
Okay, you bandits.
And keep your chin up.
But only your chin.
See you later, alligator.
Time to scoot, little newt.
Daggi?
- Come on, see you later.
Bye.
What was that?
Both safe houses
are protected by firewalls.
And there are eight guards
in the Kosova's staircase.
These are pros.
- I thought you were the pro.
A pro on detox.
He's got to go in
through the fire escape.
Luigi, state report.
Do I look like a Luigi to you?
Nobody will buy this.
"Also, it's really discriminating."
Your outfit deserves an Oscar
compared to mine.
What is this?
- Maki rolls with salmon.
Fish is the first thing
that comes to mind
when you think about a hot Asian?
I hope your secret weapon
can do better.
"Which floor?"
- Probably the 10th.
Are you crazy?
Do we really need to
break into the pilot's home?
"You're such a sissy,
what's the worst that could happen?"
Luigi, status report.
I think, she is showering
or on the toilet.
You have to get in there.
Fuck.
Ah!
Who are you?
A gift from the city.
Bon appetit.
Put it there and fuck off!
Asshole.
Goodbye.
I'm out. Where did you learn that?
My uncle Jimim from South Korea
had a smuggler boat
in the Yellow Sea at the
North Korean-Russian order,
where he was accidentally shot down
during a long-range missile testing.
That's a cute story,
but can you just stick to the plan?
Sushi with lindwolm.
Gift flom city.
Sushi. Lunning Sushi.
And?
I have lost the contact
and I can't enter her laptop.
We're practically blind.
What the hell are you? A spy?
Sushi. Lunning Sushi.
Shush.
That was my mom's favourite song.
Thank you, sushi.
Drink.
Drink.
For Mom.
"You have one new message."
"Why do I give you a phone?"
"My clients are becoming nervous
regarding the state visit,
you little Turk- ..."
- The sphincter?
Yes.
There, she is out again.
Slowly. Is everything fine?
Are you okay?
I hope you at least
did your job up there?
Freddy, don't stress around.
- That cannot be true ...
What was that?
My secret weapon.
Yes, hello?
I'm shitting my spleen out.
I ate Chinese.
What are they talking about?
Chinese food before the flight?
It was a gift from the city.
A completely strung out
Japanese tranny brought it to me.
In my case, it was an Italian guy,
but he was ugly as sin.
Hands off!
- Like you from my babushka.
Chill your guts,
I'll take over your flight.
Damn shit.
Can you localize the phone?
- Of course I can.
Then do it!
Mission Arma-gut-don
threatened to fail.
The Eurofighters were positioned
to destroy the incipient
bad weather front.
So, there was only one option:
full speed.
Are you blind, man?
Shit, man, ey!
Do you want to kill us, man?
- Nowhere near, Keanu.
Are you talking about "Speed"?
Have you even seen the movie?
There is Kosloval!
Slow please.
They're turning off
to the Ring Road.
We're way too fast! What's your plan?
Hold on! We have to hit them?
- What? No!
No!
They did not hit Koslova after all.
What happened?
Yes, what had happened?
Oleg's warning cry came too late.
And on Koslova's pizza was a load
of laxatives under the cheese,
which made her shit the whole car.
Thus, her flight was cancelled,
and the bad weather front
came closer and closer.
Nevertheless, a new plan was needed,
since during the next 24 hours,
the Kazakhs would again prepare their
ordnance to prevent exactly that.
Sickening.
Are you sure
we shall not bring you home?
You are my home.
Since my uncle Jimim was blown up.
Sister Maria said that God
will find my family
if it snows on Christmas one day.
Thanks to the fucking global warming,
I'm waiting for this my entire life.
But it could happen this year.
I may be a coward, but I'll do
all I can to make it snow this year.
Even if I get killed. I promise.
Forget it. I'm gonna walk.
Why don't you let them
rest in peace?
Why are you doing that?
They are not only your parents.
- You did not even know them.
Baba wouldn't have wanted you
to throw away your life.
Why do you say that?
I'm fighting for his dream!
You've never fought for anything.
Don't start now.
Especially if it has no future.
Do you tell Marvin the same shit?
- His name is Halim.
Perhaps it has no future for you,
but for me, it is everything!
My past, my family!
Without them, I would be alone.
You let me down
to become a fucking quota sheriff.
You still haven't understood
that people like us
have to be twice as good as others
to reach something in life.
I am so happy that mom and dad
did not have to watch you grow up.
Oh, now it's getting embarrassing.
Why does Tim hate me so much?
Tim was little, you know,
your mother was pregnant with you
when your father decided
to leave his homeland
for a better future.
Your father has sometimes told me
that he always had to show Tim
images of this better future.
And this world was tangible
only in movies.
He was lucky to fall in love
with a pilot.
For a dreamer like he was,
there is nothing better than
finding someone who gives him wings.
And that was our daughter.
Our Ursula.
Here, look. Because of her,
Timmy wanted to become a pilot.
But after this horrible accident
with the balloon ...
That completely
threw him off course.
And from then on,
he became so extremely ambitious.
I think, he forced himself to accept
that this better world doesn't exist.
And you were an image of your father.
You were a dreamer too.
Timmy loves you idolatrously.
And he is afraid to lose you too.
But don't stop dreaming now.
It's all going to turn out well.
Hello, my Kurdish friend.
I'm trying to call you for days.
I'm sorry, my phone was on mute.
Oh, really? I wanted to ask you
if you can to bring
me and my sweepstake to the radio.
It's a movies quiz.
Who am I?
Aiaiaial.
Oh, I see. Haha. There will be
repercussions, young man. You know?
What's up with him, bro?
Are you responsible here?
Oh, someone's already
in a Christmas mood. Nice, nice.
I don't have much time, so listen.
This boy is doing anything
to fulfil your moronic deal.
If you really are a professional,
you wait until the deadline. Okay?
If you will pardon my saying so,
I'm afraid you have just opened
Pandora's box, right?
Chaining me up here
was not a very bright idea.
I don't want to repeat myself, but
I think this will have repercussions.
Are you done?
I just wanted to mention
so nobody will complain.
By the way, Phil is still
the boy from the chocolate wrapper,
not your son.
How stupid do you think this Enis is?
That was a rhetoric question, right?
You'll be hanging around here
for a while.
Do you need something?
After you tried to hit a home run
with my head two times,
I'd appreciate an aspirin.
Take care of that, Peter, okay?
You don't need to take care, Petey.
A little bit of privacy
would be enough.
Operation White Christmas
could finally be continued.
Do you remember the drone material?
Enis had discovered
something strange on it.
Steel cages. Huge steel cages.
He could only guess
what could be inside.
And this brought him to an idea.
And this idea should,
seven days before Christmas,
prevent exactly one thing:
Another start of the Eurofighters
and the state visit of the
Kazakh president relating thereto.
Children's hospital
Christmas workshop, hello?
Sonnblick, mission control. Shalom to
the gang. I have an important update.
The bad weather front
is coming to Europe.
A low-pressure area
is forming over the Mediterranean.
I'm sorry, the little angel
does not understand your accent.
Strong precipitation. Onset of
winter the day after tomorrow.
White Christmas guaranteed!
Nobody can prevent it anymore.
The weather forecast looked good.
But now, the pilots were under
surveillance around the clock.
Thus, Enis had only one option left:
He had to go to the airport himself.
You take the supply passage,
it's not guarded.
And that's how you pass the
security check to reach the runway.
Mr Hunt.
Hey, Turk. Be careful, okay?
You are by far
the most gentle skinhead I know.
But also the most horrible.
That's his brother. He must not
see him under any circumstances.
His brother is a cop?
Is that supposed to remain a secret?
But they were prepared
for everything.
Sorry, I'm sorry to pester you here
just like this.
Well, at least the wog killer.
I have promised my daughter
to bring her a gift.
Here, from Klagenfurt.
So I asked your colleagues over there
where the duty free shop is.
And I was told
it's all restricted area.
Who do they take me for?
I'm from the DDR.
We always had a restricted area.
All the time, you know.
Enis' way was free.
Call team delta to G2
for shift change.
Melchior for Santa.
Rudolf is right in front of me.
Do you know why the Kazakh president
wouldn't come when it's snowing?
Because she hates it
when it's snowing.
That's why this maniac
wants to control the weather.
But Enis could not let that happen
and prepared the plane tires
with baits.
"We're not allowed to get
that close to the plane,
or else that psycho cop
will show up again."
Good evening, captain.
Excuse me, may I use
the toilet, please?
Are you high? We're not allowed
to use the toilet on duty.
Cystitis.
You can't stand the climate,
what, Arab?
Hangar! Hurry!
Enis' plan really seemed to work.
Every hour of his life
spent in front of the TV,
everything he had learned there.
Everything was fitting perfectly
in this crazy night.
I'm in the hangar.
Everything went like clockwork.
And then came the decisive moment.
Was Enis' guess right?
The bears are out.
"I repeat, the bears are out."
A present by the Kazakhs.
That wasn't too smart.
The bears found the baits
and destroyed the Eurofighters
along with the CH59 rockets.
Please authorise an aesthetic shot.
- Authorised.
And the weather flights
were cancelled.
Colonel, the encrypted line
to Vienna. The boss. Your buddy.
Hello?
- "Tim?"
No reason to worry, Bertl.
I'm working on it.
"The Kazakhs are informed. They want
those responsible to be replaced.
And they want to an other airport.
Hand over the command
before it's too late.
How did they get this information?
I don't know.
Please,
talk to the federal office.
We have to do that in Carinthia.
"Trust me."
What's that?
A banana.
Cordon everything off!
Nobody gets in or out.
We were sabotaged.
So ... How does it feel to fail?
Do you know
how long I have waited for that?
I can tell you.
Exactly 17 years in which
you have hassled everyone around you.
Step away.
So, well ...
You three, down there.
Go, go, go.
Pick me up. I'm done.
But just when they thought
they had done it,
they received an emergency call
by Penalty Peter.
However, they only arrived
at the farm at dawn.
You check the house,
I the barn, okay?
"Let us be happy and cheerful."
Eva.
The Anti-Christmas tree.
He didn't find her.
She's alive. Eva! Eva!
He's not looking for her
in there, isn't he?
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay.
Stay calm. Stay calm.
Sphincter had kept his word.
He had wiped out the whole defence
unit and was now somewhere out there.
But he was not their only problem.
Where did you get that from?
From an ornithologist.
The photos were found at the time
when the bears broke out,
on a track at the airport. Tonight.
Who let you in?
I did. I private conversation
is no grounds for dismissal.
What do we know?
One of them is Manfred Schweiger.
Combat swimmer for the NVA.
Member of the SED.
In the 90s
he completely disappeared.
Paramilitary to history teacher
to skinhead.
What is that all about?
- Hm.
The woman is Mongol,
Korean, I mean, Chinese.
Like with us Turks,
it's all the same, isn't it?
Is that a walkie-talkie?
They were not alone.
That is an interesting detail.
The Kazakhs were complaining
about the food
that the city
was allegedly sponsoring.
One of the two pilots
had diarrhea for two days.
Pilot Koslova,
who was injured at the bear outbreak,
got food from an Italian.
A skinhead, an Asian and a Sicilian.
That's a joke, right?
Oh, and ...
We found this lindworm
with both of the Kazakhs.
What?
Check all Asians and Italians.
Wire all phones.
Talk to informants
and check every single bald head.
Big plan.
"Target at three o'clock.
Police! Don't move!
"Team six in position."
Police, don't move!
- "Target under control."
"Access team for dragonfly.
No detection outside."
"Targets in the buidling."
- Roger.
Another target at twelve o'clock.
Lausegger!
Ouch! Ouch!
Look! Look what you did!
- Nothing happened.
You are nuts!
You will get a complaint!
Do you even know who I am?
Look what he did
to this beautiful face!
Brigadier Buggelsheim
on the phone for you.
Tell Brigadier Bruggelsheim
that this will have consequences!
And you,
you can apply for retirement.
"What are you doing?"
This is the old square in Klagenfurt,
not the Bakara Market in Mogadishu.
"And then you are confusing
Otto Retzer of all people."
"Lausegger will destroy you."
You could have
a disciplinary hearing.
"Of course you could keep going,
but then I won't be able
to give you a better career
than one in school route safety."
"Take time off
until this thing is over."
Tim, go home to your family.
It's Christmas.
Send my regards to them.
"After a photo call
in front of the lindworm,
the Kazakh delegation
will look at some local companies."
"We ask the public for compassion,
as there will need to be stronger
safety measures on Christmas."
"Are you crazy?
A lockdown during Christmas?"
"This only concerns
our Christmas celebrations."
"In Kazakhstan they don't
celebrate until the 6th of January."
"For the safety of our country
and our guest of honor,
we cannot give out any more
details at this time. Thank you."
"What does that mean
for the Christmas parties?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"That's not possible.
Just because of the Kazakhs?"
"You have one new message."
"Timmy? Sorry to bother you.
We have just seen the news."
"You are probably busy with the
state visit. We are so proud of you."
"If you are in the city anyway,
we could celebrate
Christmas together this year."
"Please talk to Enis."
"I think that he really needs
his big brother right now."
Okay, Jenny, what do you think?
Snow or no snow?
Hm ...
Yes.
"What that means
for your last Christmas shoppings
and the coming state visit
- right after the next song."
Are you Enis' dad?
Why?
- You also look funny.
No, I am the brother.
Do I also get
a brother for Christmas?
You will have to ask Santa that.
Mom, mom,
can we write Santa a letter?
Have fun with that.
- Thank you.
Do we still have sheets of paper
at home? Please, Mom.
Mom, can you help me write it?
Dad's handwriting is so ugly.
Great family.
They are practically
already divorced.
He is a workaholic
and she is completely
overwhelmed with everything.
They come here to get rid
of the kid for a few hours.
That poor child.
And you support this?
Don't you have a heart?
That brings me to you.
What do you want?
You really made something out of it.
Come on!
You don't even care about that.
I...
I wanted to ask if we could
celebrate Christmas together.
Hm?
If we could
celebrate Christmas together?
I can't understand a word.
What are you saying?
He wants to
celebrate Christmas together.
Oh, you thought about that?
Wow, okay.
Tell him,
he needs to work on his embolism.
It's called empathy.
Because of this
I have no interest ...
Enis, I ...
Halim finally wants to meet his uncle
and I want that too.
I have a customer.
Was everything okay?
- Of course. I cried so much.
That's the wrong decoration.
Go back inside. I'll show you.
I would be free on Christmas.
What was your brother doing there?
Family stuff. Calm down.
Where are you? Any news?
We are expecting snow but the Kazakhs
have repaired the Eurofighter,
so we need to go back
to the front.
There are more policer officers
than people out there.
Don't stress it.
We will save your video store, okay?
Are you sure your brother
didn't notice anything?
Of course not.
We are professionals.
"Phone surveillance activated."
"What was your brother doing there?"
- "Family stuff. Calm down."
"That's the wrong decoration."
"We are expecting snow but the Ka-
zakhs have repaired the Eurofighter,
so we need to go back
to the front."
"Yes, I am from the DDR.
We always had a restricted zone."
"The whole time."
"Don't stress it.
We will save your video store, okay?"
"Are you sure your brother
didn't notice anything?"
"Of course not.
We are professionals."
What are you planning?
May the lord be with you.
I need the costumes back
until the 1st of January.
Take good care of them.
- Okay.
Are you kidding me?
Allow me to introduce
Melchior and Balsam.
Balthazar.
- Balthazar. Look, you are ...
Forget it.
I thought we would
disguise and deceive.
What is your part of the plan?
Your girlfriend will hack
into the pilot's radio
and as soon as he starts
we will shoot him down.
Awesome. With what?
- Are you crazy?
With your high-tech Panzerfaust
from North Korea.
Yes, but the police has it.
No, I was faster. And I already have
the perfect position for firing it.
Major Lausegger was withdrawn
because of health reasons.
From now on I will take over again.
What would we do without any rain?
- Plan B.
Which is what?
Highjack a plane
and nail down a low pressure area
with electromagnetic waves.
Basically the reverse,
way more complicated plan.
But we were lucky.
Uhm, one thing.
Something completely different.
What is going on?
I mean, with you and Eva?
Are you crazy, asking him that?
She came in 2015
via the Balkan route.
I saved her life and since then
she has been living with me.
She is like a daughter to me.
Do you really think
that fascists who hoard weapons
and breed private armies,
would work together with you two?
Of course I am not a Nazi.
I control and deradicalize
these guys.
As long as they listen to me,
they don't set synagogues on fire.
It's only a matter of time until
something very bad happens again.
History teaches people that people
learn nothing from history.
Did you study Ghandi? No wonder you
have them wrapped around your finger.
They don't even know him.
They are just into the symbols.
The snorkel?
- That is propaganda.
Nobody has been
in this pit before you two.
But if people believe in something,
it gains power. Like Christmas.
And now we have to save Christmas
in order to save our loved ones.
Are you in?
Music: "It will soon be dark"
4 It soon will be dark out,
it soon will be night.
3 So, 1 come 10 you here,
my saviour on watch.
Now we are at the point
where we have already been.
Only that we know now that the
wog killer is one of the good guys.
Everything else is as it was.
In a few hours
it will be Christmas Eve.
It is going to snow and the Kazakhs
still want to prevent it.
It will get critical for Enis.
Is that your brother again?
Do you always give him our location?
Dragonfly for team leader.
How is it going up there?
Nothing suspicious to see
from up here.
What are you doing?
We don't have time for this.
We are making history today.
We are saving Christmas.
With that performance
and that technology
you would be
the worst influencer ever.
What?
I already got sick with influenza.
Is he always messing with us
or is he really that dumb?
Let's go, come, come.
Get in position. Okay, all together.
Carinthia.
Thanks.
This is the perfect position?
We could have done that anywhere.
But here we are outside of the radar.
We can shoot down the rocket
and then go
to the Christmas market right away.
Why do you want to go
to the Christmas market?
What are you doing?
- Logging in the weapon.
Do you think I've lost my mind?
"Weapon activated. Thank you."
That thing would have rusted,
before it would have worked again.
Excuse me.
We were on our way to the hospital,
now we have a burst tyre.
How big are the gaps?
- Which gaps?
The gaps in between the contractions.
Three minutes.
- What? Two at most.
Easy, easy.
Okay, come on. Grab the bag.
Silent night ...
holy night.
All is calm ...
all is bright.
I thought ...
- The feet have to go up.
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child.
Holy Infant so tender
and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent night ...
holy night.
"Taifun one, wind one for ...
clear for take-off."
All is calm ...
all is bright.
Igor Oleg, if you start the airplane,
we will shoot you.
Who is speaking?
Identify!
Running sushi,
is it you?
He hasn't forgotten your costume.
He hasn't forgotten
the hot Asian woman.
Igor Oleg, if you start the airplane,
we will kill you.
Operations manager Timur Olmez
Altmann is speaking.
The flight won't be cancelled.
Fuck you, because of you my anus
isn't working anymore.
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.
Ah ...
You have to shoot!
Go! Get the weapon!
I don't know how.
- Go!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
"Target acquired."
Pull the trigger, god damnit!
"Watch out! Wrong firing direction.
What is wrong with you?
"Watch out! Wrong firing direction.
Hurry up. You have to get him
before he is too far away.
"Target acquired. Thank you."
Are you serious?
- What?
You stole the car
from Maria and Josef.
I didn't steal it. She gave it to me
because I birthed her child.
Alright.
The whole country
is in a state of emergency
and we are casually driving
to the Christmas market?
Yes,
because I promised Eva I would come.
And you know
I never break my promises.
But she can sing to you another
time. Does that have to be today?
We have to disappear.
I just said I always keep my
promises. What's wrong with you?
We achieved everything we wanted.
Nobody got hurt.
Hello?
Okay, nobody is seriously hurt.
But the most beautiful thing is,
we won't ...
"This is the police speaking.
Surrender yourselves."
What were you about to say?
Is that Tim?
Okay. Hold on!
- Step on the gas!
Step on the gas!
Just step on the gas, man! Drive!
Not so fast.
- Fuck it. Get rid of him.
Is your brother completely crazy?
- Just step on the gas.
Enis!
He is still your brother.
- Just get rid of him.
Do me a favor and shut up for once.
Woah!
Come on! Everyone out of the car!
Come on!
Shit, my leg!
- Come, come!
Don't fall asleep. Come out.
Nothing happened. He is not dead.
Enis, come!
Balthazar, faster!
I'm hurt. I can't go that fast.
Man, this sucks.
Let's get out of these clothes.
No, we will keep them on.
Nobody shoots
at the three Magi.
Enis!
Enis, where are you? Enis!
"Access team has arrived."
"Vehicle under control."
"Location?"
"After the entrance, two o'clock.
At the graves of the politicians.
Enis! Enis, surrender!
"Team one is going left."
Shit. There's police everywhere.
We need to leave.
"Roger. Team two
is coming from the right side."
Don't take another step!
- Enis, I am coming to you.
Fuck off!
- Don't shoot! Nobody shoot!
You're not going to leave me behind.
I don't want do die.
Nobody is dying because of this.
- I don't know what you are planning.
But we will find a solution.
Someone is hurt.
She probably needs a doctor.
She is ready to die for this.
- What? Shit, no!
Hey, hey. Shush.
Come out and we'll talk about it.
- What do you want to talk about?
Somebody shot down a plane
from the sky.
The rocket came
from the same direction as you did.
We don't know who it was.
Then why did you follow us?
- Maybe you saw something?
Is he helping us now?
Why should I trust you?
What do you want
to talk about with me?
(If you don't trust your family,
then who else?)
(Yes, who else?)
If you don't trust your family,
then who else?
I can help you,
if you surrender yourselves now.
I don't want to die.
- They are not going to shoot at us.
Okay.
They are surrendering. Don't shoot!
I repeat: Don't shoot!
"Clear view on target."
"Targets are not armed.
Team one is taking over."
I love the smell of lead
in the morning.
It's called napalm.
What else do you want from us?
Real action with real people!
Fire at ten o'clock.
Buddy wounded.
Little pig, little pig.
Come out wherever you are.
Bobby is here.
But we stuck to our agreement.
Maybe, Turk.
Don't get me wrong, but you
brought me so many inconveniences.
And I am really getting sick of you.
Look. Usually, I am very different.
I just never get to do this.
Oh, just wait!
Now it's going to get bad.
Tim, watch out!
No!
Enis!
Police! Don't move!
We don't have weapons.
We are not armed.
Of course I will have a headache
until Epiphany day but ...
Now I know that you are
also just a human being.
"Tim, it's me. What happened?"
"I am very sorry
but we need a status report."
Major Lausegger
is taking care of this now.
Dobredan. Claudia Knig speaking.
Miss president,
what is this nonsense?
A bit of snow is not that bad.
Please come back to Carinthia.
We had nothing to do
with the Eurofighter sabotage.
Hey. How are you?
Good and you?
I have to show you something.
Look, 17 million clicks.
Everyone knows that you saved
white Christmas. You are famous.
"Friesnegger.
My name is Brigitte Friesnegger."
"I want to tell you
everything about me."
Especially about a man
who risked his life to keep a promise
and who would
take a quote out of a movie.
Josh Hartnett once said:
"Nobody asks to be a hero, it just
sometimes turns out that way."
Hello.
- You are Enis' brother.
You are here for the lottery?
Is your name Jenny by any chance?
- Yes.
Then you've won.
Great, darling.
- Dad, Dad! I won!
Thanks. Look, that's for you.
Merry Christmas.
- To you as well.
That we have to tell your mother.
Send regards to Enis.
How cool.
Uncle Enis threw himself into
a line of fire and was shot down.
The Kazakhs chickened out.
We had a white Christmas.
This is better than any video game.
The story keeps
getting crazier every year.
Freddy and Peter are here.
You are telling a nine year old
about the Anti-Christmas tree
and about the death of this uncle
on Christmas Eve? Are you serious?
I am more worried that he knows
who Ghandi and Luther are.
But if I think about it, only
the "terracotta boy" would know that.
Still jealous, right?
You are never taking over my part.
I am not illiterate.
Oh.
Halim wanted
an exciting Christmas story
and the hero dies in this one.
- But you didn't die.
The stupid thing with the three Magi
was also completely different.
And why do you have to change
Freddy up so much?
Halim think it's cool
that he's a cook.
What did Freddy have to be this year?
Oh, I just heard my name.
What are we talking about?
You don't want to know.
Daggi!
Merry Christmas!
Now that Freddy is here,
there has to be food.
Oh oh oh, that reminds me.
Modesty is a virtue,
but one gets further without it.
Come on, kids. Dinner's ready.
You finally want to get
your presents, don't you?
Grandma, the food is scorching!
Well ...
This was it.
The Christmas story of Enis.
Which he tells his family
and his crazy friends every year.
Every year a bit different.
And if she wasn't even a bit true,
it would not be a story, right?
And now?
Now hug each other
and be kind to one another.
I wish you luck, love and health.
Oh, and one thing:
Merry Christmas!
You want to know
what happened?
Then listen carefully.
Music: "It will soon be dark"
It soon will be dark out,
it soon will be night.
So, I come 10 you here,
my saviour on watch.
I come to sing a song
to the dear little one.
You don't want to sleep soon,
I just hear you cry.
Hush-a-bye,
Hush-a-bye.
Sleep sweetly dearest little child.
Forget now, oh little child,
your grief and your sorrow.
That you have to suffer
in the stable, on the heath.
Oh, the angels they adorn
your manger.
More beautifully
than a king's house.
Hush-a-bye, hush-a-bye.
Hush-a-bye, hush-a-bye.
Okay, wait a second.
That was a little too fast.
Let's rewind a bit.
It all began
about three weeks ago.
In a small town named
Klagenfurt am Wrthersee.
It was the end of November,
the beginning
of the Christmas season.
And while most people
were looking forward to Christmas,
one of them had ...
It's this one, Enis.
He didn't have a clue about
what was waiting for him
this year's Christmas.
And before I tell you
the whole story,
there's one thing you should
keep in mind.
It's not tranquil,
it's not sweet,
but so isn't Shrek.
Hello?
Hooray! Bravo!
Grandma!
Welcome to world of Enis.
Welcome
to the last video store in town
and within a radius
of 100 kilometres.
Which explains why Enis
even has Italian customers.
But these customers
aren't just customers,
they are family.
And this one you'll see in a minute,
whose name nobody knows,
that's his best friend.
Did you win "The biggest loser"?
What's up with your clothes?
You sent me an invitation
to a theme party.
I did?
- Yes.
Okay, that explains a lot.
- Mhm.
Gosh, this stupid detox.
But at least he got my invitation.
That guy with Pfarrer Mohr?
That's mincemeat Horst.
What's that on his apron?
Yeah, he came directly
from the slaughterhouse.
He doesn't believe in bacteria.
- Uhm ...
You probably haven't seen him yet
because you always sleep
during the day.
Great, then everyone's here,
I guess.
Speech, speech!
Yes, let's hear a speech.
It's gonna be a disaster.
- Shush.
Well, hello.
Thank you all for coming.
Thanks a lot.
Enis, you're a hero.
What should I say?
Just go with the flow,
take it slow.
It doesn't matter who we are
and where we come from.
It's love that connects us.
That's right!
Love for movies
which infects us.
Josh Hartnett once said:
"Nobody asks to be a hero,
it just sometimes
turns out that way."
I'm not a hero.
I owe all of this to my dad.
This video store was a dream of his.
And the last memory I have of him.
But thanks to you,
I can live his dream.
You are the real heroes.
And you're the reason
that there's no wrecking ball
hiding behind that door,
unlike with other video stores.
It's gonna be tough.
Fuck V.O.D.!
Fuck V.O.D.!
But we will not go
quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on,
okay?
We're going to survive.
- Yes!
Bill Pullman.
Independence Day.
We ride together.
We die together.
Bad boys for life!
Yeah!
And I want to thank
two really important people.
They gave me a home
and always believed in me.
It didn't matter if I screwed up,
you were always by my side.
You chose my dreams
over yours.
I really want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you.
I promise,
I will pay you back each penny.
You're acting like a bumpkin version
of Marlon Brando
and lying to all of them.
Although this video store
is responsible for your empty
bank account.
I thought you weren't
touching computers at the moment.
I'm clean.
But your account is as safe
as a school's locker.
I'm just looking out for you.
Like Trinity does for Neo.
And that although you're
not nearly as good looking.
And get rid of that.
Ass hair is sexier than that.
Not even close, Keanu.
- Okay, you know what? Shut up.
Enis Altmann,
you need a plan.
Who are you?
My grandma?
Okay, you're my best
platonic friend ...
No, I'm your only friend.
Because you are my best friend,
I found an exit strategy
in the darknet for your debt.
I'll say it one last time:
I don't need your help.
We're closed.
- Oh, pardon me.
The light was still on,
so I thought ...
Yeah, no problem.
Come in, come in.
You haven't been here before?
- No.
Can I help you with something?
- I think you can, young man.
Excuse my curiosity,
but did you throw
a Christmas themed party today?
No, we celebrated our jubilee.
We? You mean you and
this Chinese VHS, right?
This VHS is part of the inventory.
It's my store.
"Have you ever seen
blood in the moonlight?"
Yeah, often.
Good grief.
Oh, that's probably a quote
from the movie.
Well, no,
I've never seen that movie.
But I like the title.
"Manhunter".
Well, well.
You know, I'm almost embarrassed
saying this out loud,
but I still have a video recorder
at home.
Mhm.
Do you want to see something cool?
Yes.
Behold.
The beating heart
of this video store.
Well, that's impressive.
Wow, that's something.
Can you smell it?
That's the 90s.
I never thought
I'd experience something like this.
Brand new movies on VHS.
You only get them here.
Of course, including a free of charge
playback device.
Say, is this all legal?
Okay, I would just need
to see your ID shortly
and for every new customer,
the fifth movie is free of charge.
I'm sorry,
but I really would rather not
continue listening to your
nonsense any longer.
Let's drop this comedy show.
- Can you do that once more?
I'm sorry,
where are my manners.
Could you let this VHS know
that it would be smart for her
to make a move now?
Would you be as kind, Enis?
That's your name, right?
Do we know each other?
- Well, I do know you.
Can you guess why?
Because, in all modesty,
I'm the best in this business.
And what kind of business
would that be?
A problem centred business.
Solving problems quickly
and discreetly is my passion.
Believe me,
nobody in this entire world
solves complicated cases
faster than me.
You know what they call me?
I'm called the sphincter.
But friends call me Bobby.
Bob.
Fuck!
Okay, I propose we talk
about the payment terms first.
How do you want to pay?
Cash, gold,
transfer, Bitcoin?
What?
"What" is the ugly brother
of "Beg your pardon.
What?
The deal was
that I take over your debt.
Oh my god,
that guy is my exit strategy
from the darknet.
Wait a second.
For God's sake.
NaughtyNinja156?
- Mhm.
I didn't keep up mentally.
Lost my composure once again.
Would it be okay for you
if I added one percent
to the commission
to make amends?
Commission?
- What commission.
Here goes the stroke simulator again.
I'm impressed,
chapeau, chapeau.
That guy's all you promised me.
He'd believe anything.
Okay then, listen up.
I have to get a job done
and you're short on cash.
So, for you not having to close
this small but fine museum forever,
and because I don't want to
get my hands dirty,
we could help each other.
I help you,
and you help me.
You know, similar to that movie
with the lambs ...
Quid pro quo.
I've got this for you as well.
A small present.
Lucky piggy.
Then it's done.
I hope you have a tranquil
first advent.
Naughty Ninja and commission?
I really don't know
what he's talking about.
Are you crazy?
My last session
in the darknet was for you!
You could really be more thankful,
you know.
Because you brought
the Grim Reaper in?
I told you
I didn't need any help!
90.000 euros.
Where do you wanna get
that much money from?
Everything that you've done
in your life up until now,
you did for this video store,
for your father's gift.
You could get rid of all debt
in just one night.
Besides that, you could
give something to your grandparents
that they don't have to buy
themselves.
Don't be such a coward
and let's do the job
for the sphincter.
This may be your last chance
to fix this.
(I owe all of this to my dad.
This video store was his dream.)
(And the only memory
I have of him.)
(90.000 euros.)
(Where do you want to get that from?
Don't be such a coward.)
(Enis Altmann,
you need a plan.)
(I help you,
and you help me.)
(You know, similar
to that movie with the lambs.)
(Quid pro quo.)
Check your account.
Your account has been balanced.
Naughty Ninja
got the details for today.
All the best, Bob.
You really need
to synchronize your watch.
Uhm ... I had to do
the daily closing calculations.
That's a long time
for counting 40 euros.
I told you a thousand times
to not hack my account.
And what car is this?
- We're just test driving.
Check out your outfit for today.
It's in the next seat.
Sphincter said
you should wear that
and then press the bobblehead.
Good evening, you sissy.
Your job is a handover
of a high-tech Panzerfaust.
It's called the "Red Star".
You're Prinz Nuri,
a postpubertal desert warlord.
Is that SpongeBob's voice?
- Dude, who photoshopped that?
The Kardashians?
Do I look like an Arab?
It's the same for us
asians and lego figures.
We all look the same
to Austrians.
Your partner is called Lucy Lu.
An internationally wanted
crazy super terrorist.
She arranged the Panzerfaust deal
over the darknet.
The buyers:
Wog Killer Fred.
Leader of the notorious
carantanian defence squad.
And Penalty Peter,
the guy with the death stretch.
Probably the two most dangerous guys
from here to the Groglockner.
Are you bat shit crazy?
- You little sissy.
We're real criminals.
With real people.
Analogous crime is sexy.
Those dim-witted skinheads
are our jackpot.
Was it really clever
to hand a high-tech Panzerfaust
over to two skinheads?
And who would've been so stupid
to believe their costumes?
No, it was not clever.
And nobody was that stupid.
But Enis had no choice,
he was in debt.
With the sphincter.
What's up?
They don't look scared.
Just shut up.
I'll talk.
Okay.
Salam aleikum.
Uhm ...
What you got for us?
Dude, are you fucking with me,
ping-pong?
I didn't say that much.
We are offering you
the brand new and most efficient
high-tech Panzerfaust worldwide.
The Red Star.
Built in North Korea
and stolen by our agents.
Even the NSA is looking for it.
The tracker has been disabled.
The weapon is located
here on the premises.
You get it as soon
as the money has been transferred
to the royal account.
His royal highness
Prince Nuri's time is precious.
Well then, gentlemen.
This was your chance.
Salam aleikum.
W aleikum a salam.
If you go, you go with a bam.
Take cover, God damnit.
Police!
Hand up and freeze!
G6 in formation.
Shoot 'em down!
This is the police.
Surrender.
Dude, shoot!
- Shit.
Target at three o'clock.
Smoke grenades!
Secured several targets across.
Target one not identified.
Repeat.
Target one not identified.
Target one escaped.
That you is.
You me understand?
Sure.
Do you need to see a doctor?
Better be careful
and watch that mouth of yours.
Who will get a clyster
from the doctor.
Why were you at that hangar?
There was a flyer
for a student movie in my mailbox.
We didn't find any cameras.
Well, yes.
They filmed with their mobiles.
It's kind of like
"The Blair witch project.
A found-footage-film.
But it's action
and with mobiles.
Without forest and witch.
Witch.
- Is it ringing a bell?
I'm gonna ring your head,
you smurf.
Do you even know
who these guys are?
It's a radical right-wing
private army.
That's not
what the flyer said.
You little!
- Lausegger!
I'll take it from here.
Prepare the briefing.
What are you wating for?
Why were you in that hangar, huh?
I told your little monkey friend
all that I know.
I don't have to talk to you.
Or is this a case of imminent danger
according to paragraph 47?
Can I go now?
Well, he seems
to know the paragraphs.
Way to go,
your little brother
could teach you some things.
I'm sure you're
very proud of him, am I right?
Let him go.
You're kidding, right?
He's not a threat.
He's just stupid.
So, the police let you go
and there's hope for your store.
Thank Allah.
But you're kinda pale,
Turk boy.
Do I need to worry?
The arms deal was a total disaster.
Panzerfaust gone.
Relax, missy.
Me, you and your ...
whatever your relationship is,
we're friends.
And friends always
deserve a second chance.
But well, the arms deal
was just a test to see
if you would do anything.
And you passed.
And now moving on
to the actual job.
On Christmas Eve,
Kazakhs reeking of vodka, caviar
and eastern European whores
will probably land here
in this megacity
to do some illegal business
with the federal government.
It's about water privatisation,
passports, sea property, et cetera.
The whole thing is well
disguised as a state visit.
And the Kazakh president,
if you know her,
will visit in person
in order to divert attention
from her entourage's intrigues.
And my clients, whose names
I am of course not allowed to mention
according to the GDPR,
they simply want to prevent the fact
that really soon,
everyone will know someone
who does business with a Kazakh.
Let's put it this way:
A few influential industrial magnates
don't want Kazakhstan
to buy up land and people
in Carinthia.
So, this state visit would be really
a thorn in their flesh.
And we are to prevent that?
Are you joking?
Do I look like I'm joking?
Woah!
Shit, is that blood?
If you want,
you can have your money back.
No, no, no.
That's not how we do it, my friend.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Or do you really want me
to use that hammer?
A very blood mess, truly.
But as I said,
I'm fine with anything.
But don't dare to fuck with me!
Okay, friends,
sabotage the state visit.
I won't have mercy.
Don't let me down
in front of my customers.
There will be no third chance.
Attention!
At ease.
Poseidon will land
on the 24th of December
at 0800 at the Klagenfurt airport.
As soon as the convoy
with the seven
armoured vehicles starts moving
and leaves the airport grounds,
that's when we take over.
For this,
we're providing 300 officers ...
Well, I guess we almost missed
the arms deal at the airport
because you're on the phone
while working hours, Mrs analyst?
Get out!
Let us be clear on this.
I don't allow amateurs
in my commando.
From this moment on,
I want illimitable concentration
and extraordinary performance.
Have I made myself clear?
Yes, colonel.
There's a lot of people out there
that want to sabotage
this state visit.
Our mission:
Sabotating the sabotage.
Any further questions?
"Foxtrot, Echo, Romeo.
Copy that."
"We can't land in this weather.
We have to turn back."
"I repeat,
we cannot land in this weather."
"We must turn back."
Hey, what's up?
Did I wake you?
- No.
Why are you whispering?
- The cleaning lady is still here.
I don't want to involve her.
I don't understand
why everyone likes books so much.
There's nothing
about modern warfare in here.
And you?
- No, nothing.
"I've watched all
action movies from Kazakhstan."
I think we've failed.
There are some things
you don't learn from 90s movies.
So, don't give up faster
than a grey-headed albatross pees.
Why I know that?
From these dead boring books.
Do you think Ethan
made so many unnecessary sequels
because he's a sissy?
"Anyway, you have me."
- Did you even listen?
"The city will be fortress.
We're no gangsters."
"Or do you know anybody
that knows how to deal with this?"
Of course, that's it!
We're meeting tomorrow morning.
I'll send you the coordinates.
And wear your costume.
Coordinates and sheikh costume.
Does sound like she had a plan.
But not Enis.
He was clueless.
Hey, wait! No!
Stop it!
Shit, where in the heck are we?
Fuck!
It didn't go 100 percent
as planned.
What are you ... shit!
What did I do?
There is someone.
There is someone.
Someone's coming.
Be quiet.
- Shit.
Do you hear that?
Someone's coming.
Shit, shit, shit.
Okay.
Hey!
We had a deal.
That's not how you treat a prince.
I want to talk the boss,
right now!
(Arabic:) Eye for an eye
and the whole world will be blind.
Mhm.
(Arabic:) You don't know
shit about Arabic.
Right, Turk?
So, that was her plan?
Let's ask the wog killer for help.
That's another kind of crazy.
He'd seen right through them.
But for some reason
they were still alive.
That's his eco Guantanamo.
Yeah, I know.
The plan is buggy.
It's time, let's go.
To get information,
the wog killer has a special method.
He makes his victims
snorkel in Carinthian cow shit
until they tell him the truth.
And they were in deep shit.
But they had to tell
these bald-headed idiots.
Because if anyone would want to
sabotage a Kazakh secret operation,
it was them.
If not, Enis and
his hacker friend on detox
would be lost forever.
That's why we wanted
to ask you for help.
Please.
But these idiots
didn't give a shit
about the visit
of the Kazakh president.
As a proponent of tradition
and nostalgia,
the tragedy surrounding
the cultural heritage of your father
does move me.
That's why I want to help you.
And only because of that.
I'm also convinced
that the authorities
were on to the hangar
even before our deal.
Maybe the airport
plays a key role in this state visit.
So, you're gonna
take a look around.
Sorry, I just wanted to help.
But since I've been offline ...
I didn't think
we'd end up in a brown lagoon.
It's not your fault.
But I think I know
what I need to do.
I have to take matters
into my own hands now.
Yeah, man!
Look.
Isn't that too risky?
Or is your drone invisible?
Can you get in closer?
Closer than a shit house fly.
The wog killer was right.
Something was fishy.
Soldiers from Kazakhstan.
Everywhere.
Conspiracy.
They're even selling
the Eurofighters to the Kazakhs.
Unidentifiable flying object
at twelve o'clock.
Shit.
Widowitz,
you had clear orders.
Are your querulants
up there sleeping
or do I have to assume
that my instructions
were too cryptic?
What task were you assigned?
Object protection.
- And why are you not fulfilling it?
How many men
in your utterly desolate troop?
In addition,
we have requested further staff
from a local security service
provider for external surveillance.
You're all as irrelevant
as a pig's head brawn
in the Hindu Kush.
A state visit is not an undertaking
for trivial village disco bouncers,
or underpaid traffic citation
issuers.
Today it was a toy.
Tomorrow it will be a dirty bomb.
And now for the record: From now on
we need radio surveillance,
a mobile radar
and a drone defence system.
Our mission is to protect our
colleagues from Kazakhstan
so they can do their job,
understood?
Understood, colonel.
Would you like to see the
command centre in the tower?
My colleague will do that.
My pleasure.
Lady's first.
And now,
show me the drone footage.
Is that a soviet CH59?
Well, somebody did their homework.
Yes, "The hunt for red October".
Only that these CH59 rockets
were remodel led for the use
of silver iodide.
Silver o-what?
- Iodide.
Silver iodide,
pay attention.
That's a metallic ...
you know, for ...
You need it for ...
- Peter, stop.
That's a chemical substance
that prevents storms.
And with these rockets,
it's being
sprayed into the atmosphere.
Same concept is used with
anti-hale rockets in agriculture.
The Kazakhs are controlling
the weather?
Why?
It's human nature
to try and play God.
What do you think the most powerful
person on earth is capable of?
Jeff Bezos is not a Kazakh.
But the Kazakh president is one.
You're not the brightest bulb
in the box, huh?
For real?
You think the most powerful person
is a Kazakh?
Or a Chinese?
- Why, because there are so many?
Are you done now?
From state holidays
to holidays at the Black Sea.
The weather is controlled
by the Kazakh president.
We only have one opportunity
to save your video store.
"And now the weather
with Antenne Karnten."
"With daily highs of five degrees,
the first week of Advent
will be dry throughout the country."
"Light precipitation
can only be ..."
I don't know what he's up to,
but his timing is on point.
We sabotage the state visit
of the president,
through taking
some of her power.
In order to do so,
we need rain, fog or snow.
What do you mean?
She won't come if it snows?
If it snows on Christmas Eve,
we won't only save your video store,
but then we'll have a nostalgic
white Christmas again.
That's why we need to do
everything possible
to prevent
these Eurofighters' take-off,
as they would prevent
potential snowfall.
From now on, my people will
take over the reconnaissance.
The operational area covers a radius
of five miles around the airport.
This mission stands or falls
on an accurate weather forecast.
That's why Mai-Tai
is going to step out of detox
for the time being
and get us a top-notch meteorologist.
And you,
you go back to your video store
and just do what you always do.
And if anything comes up,
you guys get in touch.
A pager? I didn't know they were
technically degenerated as well.
We are what?
Non-cooperation with evil
is as much a duty
as is cooperation with good.
Operation White Christmas
starts right now!
Better than Operation White Power.
That's where they spent
the whole night.
Until Enis finally understood
what it was all about.
With the Eurofighters
and the CH59 rockets
they wanted to prevent
snow from falling on Christmas.
The Kazakh president
only comes when it's not snowing.
The Eurofighters
had to be stopped so it does snow
and the state visit won't happen.
As the sphincter had demanded.
Quite simple, actually.
If it wasn't the brother of Enis,
Tim.
Close all sewer tops and install
additional motion detectors.
The sewers are now a restricted area.
I don't even
want to see a single rat.
Is that clear?
- Understood.
Good day.
Hello there all of you.
Why are civilians climbing down here?
What did I just say?
Have a nice day and salami.
Knig Claudia, state governor.
I want to thank you
in the name of all Carinthians,
that you are taking such great care
of my state.
As you know,
a long time ago,
the sun fell from the skies.
And this state visit
is not only a glimmer of hope
for Kazakhstan,
but for our whole region.
Maybe our timing is off,
but we Carinthians
are problem solvers.
And a 100 percent liquidity
also means 100 percent popularity.
So, emergency nationalisation
times "Stadionwald"-projects
equals outright majority.
I also recommended you
for a promotion.
It's not only my future
that depends on your success.
And let your deputy
know his place.
Can we take a picture
for the newspaper?
Of course!
There's some great smoked sausage
at the Christmas market.
I don't know
if it's made from pork.
I know it's organic
and totally locally.
Operation White Christmas.
The rescue mission
for his video store had begun.
And Enis told everybody.
"It's two weeks before Christmas.
"And we have a very special
prize game for you."
I welcome Enis
from the video store "Bellissimo".
Hello, good evening.
- Hello, a very pleasant evening.
So, what's the deal?
We're doing Christmas bets
this year.
For our customers
and prospective ones.
And you can win
great movie packages for next year.
The winner will be chosen on the 24th
of December before closing hours.
We're living at a time
in which we are downright flooded by
internet streaming services.
"And you're still running
one of the last video stores."
"Quite successfully."
"What's your secret?"
- My loyal customers.
The long talks,
the passion for movies.
You know, I always say
you have to touch people's hearts.
It was always the audience
that conferred movies
a sense of immortality.
And it's the same
with the video store.
"As long as there's an audience,
we are untouchable.
"It was fate that I could turn
my hobby into a career."
And it's my calling
to provide you
with the best entertainment.
People are important to you?
- Absolutely.
People are family,
and family is the most important.
Very wonderful words
to conclude this talk.
And let's all hope that we'll have
a white Christmas this year.
"Weatherman.
Tomorrow. 10 PM."
Bye, grandpa.
- Hey, look who's here.
Surprise.
Come on in.
Come closer.
Say "Carinthia".
- Carinthia.
Why didn't you wish for
a digital camera?
Son, there's nothing more authentic
than an analogue image.
Quality ...
- .. and nostalgia. I know.
Things you don't understand.
We ... have a performance
the day after tomorrow.
How long are you staying
in Klagenfurt?
I can't tell you.
- Come on, Tim.
If you can't trust your family,
who can you trust?
Yes, whom?
How is Alev and the fireflies?
Do you have any new photos?
Yes, I do.
Here you go.
Oh, that's so sweet.
What is he doing there?
He made a terracotta vase
for his piano teacher.
A terracotta vase?
For the piano teacher?
He's two.
And he's already
going to the museum?
Of course, they're exhibiting
his paintings there.
He loves contemporary
watercolour painting.
He didn't take after his uncle,
I guess.
He's got a lot of friends, for sure.
- Yes, he does. Are you jealous?
Not everyone knows
early on where life takes him.
I only knew when I turned 30.
Yes, and some never do.
(Turkish:) Fuck off.
- Son of a donkey.
Asshole.
They're still fighting.
Where did we go wrong?
- You didn't.
No one did anything wrong.
Mom and Dad also didn't.
Enis is what he is.
I have to go now.
Too bad.
Why is there snow everywhere?
Ye-he's, I'll be right there.
You're taking a Nazi to a Jew's home?
Are you nuts?
Nathanael Gluckstein?
And who wants to know?
Austrian secret service.
Are you from the NSA?
Let me introduce you
to Ming Di-Nasty,
our expert from Thailand.
Sawadee Krap.
Excuse me,
but that's all for my Thai.
The nail designer of my cousin
is from Phuket.
Ah!
You should put on some as well.
The UV-light in here
is very concentrated.
If outside snow you see,
you need Vitamin-D.
Turn it off again.
What can I do for you?
Move.
She said that we need
a detail led weather forecast
for a top-secret peace mission
during Christmas time.
And you're said to be the best.
Doctor, Doctor Meteorology.
And your ticket
to the Sonnblick observatory.
If you'd like.
By the way, I'm single.
That's great.
What kind of mission is this?
Well, you know ...
- I not can say detailed anything.
But children many will be happy.
Children, beautiful!
If it's about children,
my help is free of charge, of course.
The weather is a mouthpiece
of the eternal.
If you understand the skies,
you understand him.
And thus,
I am the master of the weather.
Exactly what we were looking for.
That's why there was snow outside.
He was no Copperfield,
but he had an interactive home
with a genius app.
And he knew about the weather.
And that's why he was their man.
The team was complete.
But there's one thing
that Enis didn't think about.
Time was running out.
And that was the long awaited
half-time whistle.
I heard you on the radio.
You're quite the star
around here.
Oh, excuse me.
Do you want some, too?
- I have allergies.
Allergic to chestnuts?
Oh dear.
Is live even worth living
then anymore?
But I'm wondering ...
Do you even want to live?
Christmas Turk?
Do you think
I enjoy being mean to you?
Let me show you something.
That's my little Phil.
I can see him once a year
for 60 minutes.
That's an hour.
And I spend it explaining to him
why his father
doesn't have time for him.
And for this annual ritual,
his mom,
my dirty skunk of an ex-wife,
deliberately chose Christmas Eve.
That's the price I pay
for what I do.
And you, as a man of the people,
can surely understand
that I don't want
to miss this appointment.
From now on,
you will be available day and night.
It doesn't matter to me
if you're in the shit house
or doing a threesome with a friend.
And if you dare to focus
on anything else than our deal
and the Kazakhs don't change
their plans ...
Then I'll be ...
decorating a little
Anti-Christmas tree this year.
With your entrails as tinsel
and your empty nut
as a Christmas tree ball.
I guess you would agree
it would be nice to prevent that.
Phil is counting on you.
Oh, it's 12:03 AM again.
Time flies.
Right?
Now we have twelve days left.
Tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock, tick-tock.
Oh, you joyful,
oh, you blessed,
grace bringing Christmas time.
Sorry.
Heavenly hosts
rejoicing to honor you.
What are you doing here?
- That's what the Turk said.
His family sings in the choir.
Turks singing in Klagenfurt.
Hasn't happened since 1716.
Austrian grandparents.
- Mhm.
Adoptive grandparents.
- Okay, are you done?
Snow falls softly at night.
Aren't you checking your pagers?
- Didn't get anything.
I didn't have reception.
"The occluded front
over western Europe
is shifting further
and further eastwards and thus,
cold air is flowing
into the Mediterranean region,
which is leading to the formation
of a cyclogenesis."
"At the moment, there is a stable
area of high pressure over Europe."
What is he saying?
I don't get it.
The mission is starting tonight.
What, for real?
Shanghai, status report.
After I evaluated all the photos
of your genius men,
which would probably
only give ornithologists wet dreams,
we had exactly two matches.
Igor Oleg, defected Soviet pilot and
his daughter Natasha Koslova.
Kazakh fighter pilots.
Stationed in Syria until recently.
Presumably only these two are
authorised to fly these missions
and are accommodated
in different parts of the city.
Shit, you're right.
And they are being picked up
shortly before midnight.
We have to strike at two places
at the same time.
And we only have one chance.
I'm having goosebumps all the way
down to my panties. You too?
Mission starts at 2200.
I hope you planned this
painshakingly?
I planned it painstakingly
and not painshakingly.
You're another kind of stupid.
Come on, be a smartass,
like his brother.
No, I won't.
- You should.
What the fuck?
His grandparents
are singing in the choir
with the house slave
of the wog killer.
Shush.
Enis!
- Grandma, hey.
It's so nice
you finally made it.
Yes.
- And he brought the VHS as well.
Namaste.
Freddy!
Daggi.
Freddy?
Hey, hello.
Daggi?
Manfred.
- Helmut.
Peng, peng, puff.
- Howdy-Doody.
You know each other?
Yes, since he joined the rectorate
he never missed a concert.
You know each other, too?
- Yes, Freddy's a customer.
A real fan of historic "Heimatfilms"
which take place
before the post-war period.
Sorry, but I have to interrupt.
We have to go now.
Okay, you bandits.
And keep your chin up.
But only your chin.
See you later, alligator.
Time to scoot, little newt.
Daggi?
- Come on, see you later.
Bye.
What was that?
Both safe houses
are protected by firewalls.
And there are eight guards
in the Kosova's staircase.
These are pros.
- I thought you were the pro.
A pro on detox.
He's got to go in
through the fire escape.
Luigi, state report.
Do I look like a Luigi to you?
Nobody will buy this.
"Also, it's really discriminating."
Your outfit deserves an Oscar
compared to mine.
What is this?
- Maki rolls with salmon.
Fish is the first thing
that comes to mind
when you think about a hot Asian?
I hope your secret weapon
can do better.
"Which floor?"
- Probably the 10th.
Are you crazy?
Do we really need to
break into the pilot's home?
"You're such a sissy,
what's the worst that could happen?"
Luigi, status report.
I think, she is showering
or on the toilet.
You have to get in there.
Fuck.
Ah!
Who are you?
A gift from the city.
Bon appetit.
Put it there and fuck off!
Asshole.
Goodbye.
I'm out. Where did you learn that?
My uncle Jimim from South Korea
had a smuggler boat
in the Yellow Sea at the
North Korean-Russian order,
where he was accidentally shot down
during a long-range missile testing.
That's a cute story,
but can you just stick to the plan?
Sushi with lindwolm.
Gift flom city.
Sushi. Lunning Sushi.
And?
I have lost the contact
and I can't enter her laptop.
We're practically blind.
What the hell are you? A spy?
Sushi. Lunning Sushi.
Shush.
That was my mom's favourite song.
Thank you, sushi.
Drink.
Drink.
For Mom.
"You have one new message."
"Why do I give you a phone?"
"My clients are becoming nervous
regarding the state visit,
you little Turk- ..."
- The sphincter?
Yes.
There, she is out again.
Slowly. Is everything fine?
Are you okay?
I hope you at least
did your job up there?
Freddy, don't stress around.
- That cannot be true ...
What was that?
My secret weapon.
Yes, hello?
I'm shitting my spleen out.
I ate Chinese.
What are they talking about?
Chinese food before the flight?
It was a gift from the city.
A completely strung out
Japanese tranny brought it to me.
In my case, it was an Italian guy,
but he was ugly as sin.
Hands off!
- Like you from my babushka.
Chill your guts,
I'll take over your flight.
Damn shit.
Can you localize the phone?
- Of course I can.
Then do it!
Mission Arma-gut-don
threatened to fail.
The Eurofighters were positioned
to destroy the incipient
bad weather front.
So, there was only one option:
full speed.
Are you blind, man?
Shit, man, ey!
Do you want to kill us, man?
- Nowhere near, Keanu.
Are you talking about "Speed"?
Have you even seen the movie?
There is Kosloval!
Slow please.
They're turning off
to the Ring Road.
We're way too fast! What's your plan?
Hold on! We have to hit them?
- What? No!
No!
They did not hit Koslova after all.
What happened?
Yes, what had happened?
Oleg's warning cry came too late.
And on Koslova's pizza was a load
of laxatives under the cheese,
which made her shit the whole car.
Thus, her flight was cancelled,
and the bad weather front
came closer and closer.
Nevertheless, a new plan was needed,
since during the next 24 hours,
the Kazakhs would again prepare their
ordnance to prevent exactly that.
Sickening.
Are you sure
we shall not bring you home?
You are my home.
Since my uncle Jimim was blown up.
Sister Maria said that God
will find my family
if it snows on Christmas one day.
Thanks to the fucking global warming,
I'm waiting for this my entire life.
But it could happen this year.
I may be a coward, but I'll do
all I can to make it snow this year.
Even if I get killed. I promise.
Forget it. I'm gonna walk.
Why don't you let them
rest in peace?
Why are you doing that?
They are not only your parents.
- You did not even know them.
Baba wouldn't have wanted you
to throw away your life.
Why do you say that?
I'm fighting for his dream!
You've never fought for anything.
Don't start now.
Especially if it has no future.
Do you tell Marvin the same shit?
- His name is Halim.
Perhaps it has no future for you,
but for me, it is everything!
My past, my family!
Without them, I would be alone.
You let me down
to become a fucking quota sheriff.
You still haven't understood
that people like us
have to be twice as good as others
to reach something in life.
I am so happy that mom and dad
did not have to watch you grow up.
Oh, now it's getting embarrassing.
Why does Tim hate me so much?
Tim was little, you know,
your mother was pregnant with you
when your father decided
to leave his homeland
for a better future.
Your father has sometimes told me
that he always had to show Tim
images of this better future.
And this world was tangible
only in movies.
He was lucky to fall in love
with a pilot.
For a dreamer like he was,
there is nothing better than
finding someone who gives him wings.
And that was our daughter.
Our Ursula.
Here, look. Because of her,
Timmy wanted to become a pilot.
But after this horrible accident
with the balloon ...
That completely
threw him off course.
And from then on,
he became so extremely ambitious.
I think, he forced himself to accept
that this better world doesn't exist.
And you were an image of your father.
You were a dreamer too.
Timmy loves you idolatrously.
And he is afraid to lose you too.
But don't stop dreaming now.
It's all going to turn out well.
Hello, my Kurdish friend.
I'm trying to call you for days.
I'm sorry, my phone was on mute.
Oh, really? I wanted to ask you
if you can to bring
me and my sweepstake to the radio.
It's a movies quiz.
Who am I?
Aiaiaial.
Oh, I see. Haha. There will be
repercussions, young man. You know?
What's up with him, bro?
Are you responsible here?
Oh, someone's already
in a Christmas mood. Nice, nice.
I don't have much time, so listen.
This boy is doing anything
to fulfil your moronic deal.
If you really are a professional,
you wait until the deadline. Okay?
If you will pardon my saying so,
I'm afraid you have just opened
Pandora's box, right?
Chaining me up here
was not a very bright idea.
I don't want to repeat myself, but
I think this will have repercussions.
Are you done?
I just wanted to mention
so nobody will complain.
By the way, Phil is still
the boy from the chocolate wrapper,
not your son.
How stupid do you think this Enis is?
That was a rhetoric question, right?
You'll be hanging around here
for a while.
Do you need something?
After you tried to hit a home run
with my head two times,
I'd appreciate an aspirin.
Take care of that, Peter, okay?
You don't need to take care, Petey.
A little bit of privacy
would be enough.
Operation White Christmas
could finally be continued.
Do you remember the drone material?
Enis had discovered
something strange on it.
Steel cages. Huge steel cages.
He could only guess
what could be inside.
And this brought him to an idea.
And this idea should,
seven days before Christmas,
prevent exactly one thing:
Another start of the Eurofighters
and the state visit of the
Kazakh president relating thereto.
Children's hospital
Christmas workshop, hello?
Sonnblick, mission control. Shalom to
the gang. I have an important update.
The bad weather front
is coming to Europe.
A low-pressure area
is forming over the Mediterranean.
I'm sorry, the little angel
does not understand your accent.
Strong precipitation. Onset of
winter the day after tomorrow.
White Christmas guaranteed!
Nobody can prevent it anymore.
The weather forecast looked good.
But now, the pilots were under
surveillance around the clock.
Thus, Enis had only one option left:
He had to go to the airport himself.
You take the supply passage,
it's not guarded.
And that's how you pass the
security check to reach the runway.
Mr Hunt.
Hey, Turk. Be careful, okay?
You are by far
the most gentle skinhead I know.
But also the most horrible.
That's his brother. He must not
see him under any circumstances.
His brother is a cop?
Is that supposed to remain a secret?
But they were prepared
for everything.
Sorry, I'm sorry to pester you here
just like this.
Well, at least the wog killer.
I have promised my daughter
to bring her a gift.
Here, from Klagenfurt.
So I asked your colleagues over there
where the duty free shop is.
And I was told
it's all restricted area.
Who do they take me for?
I'm from the DDR.
We always had a restricted area.
All the time, you know.
Enis' way was free.
Call team delta to G2
for shift change.
Melchior for Santa.
Rudolf is right in front of me.
Do you know why the Kazakh president
wouldn't come when it's snowing?
Because she hates it
when it's snowing.
That's why this maniac
wants to control the weather.
But Enis could not let that happen
and prepared the plane tires
with baits.
"We're not allowed to get
that close to the plane,
or else that psycho cop
will show up again."
Good evening, captain.
Excuse me, may I use
the toilet, please?
Are you high? We're not allowed
to use the toilet on duty.
Cystitis.
You can't stand the climate,
what, Arab?
Hangar! Hurry!
Enis' plan really seemed to work.
Every hour of his life
spent in front of the TV,
everything he had learned there.
Everything was fitting perfectly
in this crazy night.
I'm in the hangar.
Everything went like clockwork.
And then came the decisive moment.
Was Enis' guess right?
The bears are out.
"I repeat, the bears are out."
A present by the Kazakhs.
That wasn't too smart.
The bears found the baits
and destroyed the Eurofighters
along with the CH59 rockets.
Please authorise an aesthetic shot.
- Authorised.
And the weather flights
were cancelled.
Colonel, the encrypted line
to Vienna. The boss. Your buddy.
Hello?
- "Tim?"
No reason to worry, Bertl.
I'm working on it.
"The Kazakhs are informed. They want
those responsible to be replaced.
And they want to an other airport.
Hand over the command
before it's too late.
How did they get this information?
I don't know.
Please,
talk to the federal office.
We have to do that in Carinthia.
"Trust me."
What's that?
A banana.
Cordon everything off!
Nobody gets in or out.
We were sabotaged.
So ... How does it feel to fail?
Do you know
how long I have waited for that?
I can tell you.
Exactly 17 years in which
you have hassled everyone around you.
Step away.
So, well ...
You three, down there.
Go, go, go.
Pick me up. I'm done.
But just when they thought
they had done it,
they received an emergency call
by Penalty Peter.
However, they only arrived
at the farm at dawn.
You check the house,
I the barn, okay?
"Let us be happy and cheerful."
Eva.
The Anti-Christmas tree.
He didn't find her.
She's alive. Eva! Eva!
He's not looking for her
in there, isn't he?
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, okay.
Stay calm. Stay calm.
Sphincter had kept his word.
He had wiped out the whole defence
unit and was now somewhere out there.
But he was not their only problem.
Where did you get that from?
From an ornithologist.
The photos were found at the time
when the bears broke out,
on a track at the airport. Tonight.
Who let you in?
I did. I private conversation
is no grounds for dismissal.
What do we know?
One of them is Manfred Schweiger.
Combat swimmer for the NVA.
Member of the SED.
In the 90s
he completely disappeared.
Paramilitary to history teacher
to skinhead.
What is that all about?
- Hm.
The woman is Mongol,
Korean, I mean, Chinese.
Like with us Turks,
it's all the same, isn't it?
Is that a walkie-talkie?
They were not alone.
That is an interesting detail.
The Kazakhs were complaining
about the food
that the city
was allegedly sponsoring.
One of the two pilots
had diarrhea for two days.
Pilot Koslova,
who was injured at the bear outbreak,
got food from an Italian.
A skinhead, an Asian and a Sicilian.
That's a joke, right?
Oh, and ...
We found this lindworm
with both of the Kazakhs.
What?
Check all Asians and Italians.
Wire all phones.
Talk to informants
and check every single bald head.
Big plan.
"Target at three o'clock.
Police! Don't move!
"Team six in position."
Police, don't move!
- "Target under control."
"Access team for dragonfly.
No detection outside."
"Targets in the buidling."
- Roger.
Another target at twelve o'clock.
Lausegger!
Ouch! Ouch!
Look! Look what you did!
- Nothing happened.
You are nuts!
You will get a complaint!
Do you even know who I am?
Look what he did
to this beautiful face!
Brigadier Buggelsheim
on the phone for you.
Tell Brigadier Bruggelsheim
that this will have consequences!
And you,
you can apply for retirement.
"What are you doing?"
This is the old square in Klagenfurt,
not the Bakara Market in Mogadishu.
"And then you are confusing
Otto Retzer of all people."
"Lausegger will destroy you."
You could have
a disciplinary hearing.
"Of course you could keep going,
but then I won't be able
to give you a better career
than one in school route safety."
"Take time off
until this thing is over."
Tim, go home to your family.
It's Christmas.
Send my regards to them.
"After a photo call
in front of the lindworm,
the Kazakh delegation
will look at some local companies."
"We ask the public for compassion,
as there will need to be stronger
safety measures on Christmas."
"Are you crazy?
A lockdown during Christmas?"
"This only concerns
our Christmas celebrations."
"In Kazakhstan they don't
celebrate until the 6th of January."
"For the safety of our country
and our guest of honor,
we cannot give out any more
details at this time. Thank you."
"What does that mean
for the Christmas parties?"
"What is wrong with you?"
"That's not possible.
Just because of the Kazakhs?"
"You have one new message."
"Timmy? Sorry to bother you.
We have just seen the news."
"You are probably busy with the
state visit. We are so proud of you."
"If you are in the city anyway,
we could celebrate
Christmas together this year."
"Please talk to Enis."
"I think that he really needs
his big brother right now."
Okay, Jenny, what do you think?
Snow or no snow?
Hm ...
Yes.
"What that means
for your last Christmas shoppings
and the coming state visit
- right after the next song."
Are you Enis' dad?
Why?
- You also look funny.
No, I am the brother.
Do I also get
a brother for Christmas?
You will have to ask Santa that.
Mom, mom,
can we write Santa a letter?
Have fun with that.
- Thank you.
Do we still have sheets of paper
at home? Please, Mom.
Mom, can you help me write it?
Dad's handwriting is so ugly.
Great family.
They are practically
already divorced.
He is a workaholic
and she is completely
overwhelmed with everything.
They come here to get rid
of the kid for a few hours.
That poor child.
And you support this?
Don't you have a heart?
That brings me to you.
What do you want?
You really made something out of it.
Come on!
You don't even care about that.
I...
I wanted to ask if we could
celebrate Christmas together.
Hm?
If we could
celebrate Christmas together?
I can't understand a word.
What are you saying?
He wants to
celebrate Christmas together.
Oh, you thought about that?
Wow, okay.
Tell him,
he needs to work on his embolism.
It's called empathy.
Because of this
I have no interest ...
Enis, I ...
Halim finally wants to meet his uncle
and I want that too.
I have a customer.
Was everything okay?
- Of course. I cried so much.
That's the wrong decoration.
Go back inside. I'll show you.
I would be free on Christmas.
What was your brother doing there?
Family stuff. Calm down.
Where are you? Any news?
We are expecting snow but the Kazakhs
have repaired the Eurofighter,
so we need to go back
to the front.
There are more policer officers
than people out there.
Don't stress it.
We will save your video store, okay?
Are you sure your brother
didn't notice anything?
Of course not.
We are professionals.
"Phone surveillance activated."
"What was your brother doing there?"
- "Family stuff. Calm down."
"That's the wrong decoration."
"We are expecting snow but the Ka-
zakhs have repaired the Eurofighter,
so we need to go back
to the front."
"Yes, I am from the DDR.
We always had a restricted zone."
"The whole time."
"Don't stress it.
We will save your video store, okay?"
"Are you sure your brother
didn't notice anything?"
"Of course not.
We are professionals."
What are you planning?
May the lord be with you.
I need the costumes back
until the 1st of January.
Take good care of them.
- Okay.
Are you kidding me?
Allow me to introduce
Melchior and Balsam.
Balthazar.
- Balthazar. Look, you are ...
Forget it.
I thought we would
disguise and deceive.
What is your part of the plan?
Your girlfriend will hack
into the pilot's radio
and as soon as he starts
we will shoot him down.
Awesome. With what?
- Are you crazy?
With your high-tech Panzerfaust
from North Korea.
Yes, but the police has it.
No, I was faster. And I already have
the perfect position for firing it.
Major Lausegger was withdrawn
because of health reasons.
From now on I will take over again.
What would we do without any rain?
- Plan B.
Which is what?
Highjack a plane
and nail down a low pressure area
with electromagnetic waves.
Basically the reverse,
way more complicated plan.
But we were lucky.
Uhm, one thing.
Something completely different.
What is going on?
I mean, with you and Eva?
Are you crazy, asking him that?
She came in 2015
via the Balkan route.
I saved her life and since then
she has been living with me.
She is like a daughter to me.
Do you really think
that fascists who hoard weapons
and breed private armies,
would work together with you two?
Of course I am not a Nazi.
I control and deradicalize
these guys.
As long as they listen to me,
they don't set synagogues on fire.
It's only a matter of time until
something very bad happens again.
History teaches people that people
learn nothing from history.
Did you study Ghandi? No wonder you
have them wrapped around your finger.
They don't even know him.
They are just into the symbols.
The snorkel?
- That is propaganda.
Nobody has been
in this pit before you two.
But if people believe in something,
it gains power. Like Christmas.
And now we have to save Christmas
in order to save our loved ones.
Are you in?
Music: "It will soon be dark"
4 It soon will be dark out,
it soon will be night.
3 So, 1 come 10 you here,
my saviour on watch.
Now we are at the point
where we have already been.
Only that we know now that the
wog killer is one of the good guys.
Everything else is as it was.
In a few hours
it will be Christmas Eve.
It is going to snow and the Kazakhs
still want to prevent it.
It will get critical for Enis.
Is that your brother again?
Do you always give him our location?
Dragonfly for team leader.
How is it going up there?
Nothing suspicious to see
from up here.
What are you doing?
We don't have time for this.
We are making history today.
We are saving Christmas.
With that performance
and that technology
you would be
the worst influencer ever.
What?
I already got sick with influenza.
Is he always messing with us
or is he really that dumb?
Let's go, come, come.
Get in position. Okay, all together.
Carinthia.
Thanks.
This is the perfect position?
We could have done that anywhere.
But here we are outside of the radar.
We can shoot down the rocket
and then go
to the Christmas market right away.
Why do you want to go
to the Christmas market?
What are you doing?
- Logging in the weapon.
Do you think I've lost my mind?
"Weapon activated. Thank you."
That thing would have rusted,
before it would have worked again.
Excuse me.
We were on our way to the hospital,
now we have a burst tyre.
How big are the gaps?
- Which gaps?
The gaps in between the contractions.
Three minutes.
- What? Two at most.
Easy, easy.
Okay, come on. Grab the bag.
Silent night ...
holy night.
All is calm ...
all is bright.
I thought ...
- The feet have to go up.
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child.
Holy Infant so tender
and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent night ...
holy night.
"Taifun one, wind one for ...
clear for take-off."
All is calm ...
all is bright.
Igor Oleg, if you start the airplane,
we will shoot you.
Who is speaking?
Identify!
Running sushi,
is it you?
He hasn't forgotten your costume.
He hasn't forgotten
the hot Asian woman.
Igor Oleg, if you start the airplane,
we will kill you.
Operations manager Timur Olmez
Altmann is speaking.
The flight won't be cancelled.
Fuck you, because of you my anus
isn't working anymore.
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.
Ah ...
You have to shoot!
Go! Get the weapon!
I don't know how.
- Go!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
"Target acquired."
Pull the trigger, god damnit!
"Watch out! Wrong firing direction.
What is wrong with you?
"Watch out! Wrong firing direction.
Hurry up. You have to get him
before he is too far away.
"Target acquired. Thank you."
Are you serious?
- What?
You stole the car
from Maria and Josef.
I didn't steal it. She gave it to me
because I birthed her child.
Alright.
The whole country
is in a state of emergency
and we are casually driving
to the Christmas market?
Yes,
because I promised Eva I would come.
And you know
I never break my promises.
But she can sing to you another
time. Does that have to be today?
We have to disappear.
I just said I always keep my
promises. What's wrong with you?
We achieved everything we wanted.
Nobody got hurt.
Hello?
Okay, nobody is seriously hurt.
But the most beautiful thing is,
we won't ...
"This is the police speaking.
Surrender yourselves."
What were you about to say?
Is that Tim?
Okay. Hold on!
- Step on the gas!
Step on the gas!
Just step on the gas, man! Drive!
Not so fast.
- Fuck it. Get rid of him.
Is your brother completely crazy?
- Just step on the gas.
Enis!
He is still your brother.
- Just get rid of him.
Do me a favor and shut up for once.
Woah!
Come on! Everyone out of the car!
Come on!
Shit, my leg!
- Come, come!
Don't fall asleep. Come out.
Nothing happened. He is not dead.
Enis, come!
Balthazar, faster!
I'm hurt. I can't go that fast.
Man, this sucks.
Let's get out of these clothes.
No, we will keep them on.
Nobody shoots
at the three Magi.
Enis!
Enis, where are you? Enis!
"Access team has arrived."
"Vehicle under control."
"Location?"
"After the entrance, two o'clock.
At the graves of the politicians.
Enis! Enis, surrender!
"Team one is going left."
Shit. There's police everywhere.
We need to leave.
"Roger. Team two
is coming from the right side."
Don't take another step!
- Enis, I am coming to you.
Fuck off!
- Don't shoot! Nobody shoot!
You're not going to leave me behind.
I don't want do die.
Nobody is dying because of this.
- I don't know what you are planning.
But we will find a solution.
Someone is hurt.
She probably needs a doctor.
She is ready to die for this.
- What? Shit, no!
Hey, hey. Shush.
Come out and we'll talk about it.
- What do you want to talk about?
Somebody shot down a plane
from the sky.
The rocket came
from the same direction as you did.
We don't know who it was.
Then why did you follow us?
- Maybe you saw something?
Is he helping us now?
Why should I trust you?
What do you want
to talk about with me?
(If you don't trust your family,
then who else?)
(Yes, who else?)
If you don't trust your family,
then who else?
I can help you,
if you surrender yourselves now.
I don't want to die.
- They are not going to shoot at us.
Okay.
They are surrendering. Don't shoot!
I repeat: Don't shoot!
"Clear view on target."
"Targets are not armed.
Team one is taking over."
I love the smell of lead
in the morning.
It's called napalm.
What else do you want from us?
Real action with real people!
Fire at ten o'clock.
Buddy wounded.
Little pig, little pig.
Come out wherever you are.
Bobby is here.
But we stuck to our agreement.
Maybe, Turk.
Don't get me wrong, but you
brought me so many inconveniences.
And I am really getting sick of you.
Look. Usually, I am very different.
I just never get to do this.
Oh, just wait!
Now it's going to get bad.
Tim, watch out!
No!
Enis!
Police! Don't move!
We don't have weapons.
We are not armed.
Of course I will have a headache
until Epiphany day but ...
Now I know that you are
also just a human being.
"Tim, it's me. What happened?"
"I am very sorry
but we need a status report."
Major Lausegger
is taking care of this now.
Dobredan. Claudia Knig speaking.
Miss president,
what is this nonsense?
A bit of snow is not that bad.
Please come back to Carinthia.
We had nothing to do
with the Eurofighter sabotage.
Hey. How are you?
Good and you?
I have to show you something.
Look, 17 million clicks.
Everyone knows that you saved
white Christmas. You are famous.
"Friesnegger.
My name is Brigitte Friesnegger."
"I want to tell you
everything about me."
Especially about a man
who risked his life to keep a promise
and who would
take a quote out of a movie.
Josh Hartnett once said:
"Nobody asks to be a hero, it just
sometimes turns out that way."
Hello.
- You are Enis' brother.
You are here for the lottery?
Is your name Jenny by any chance?
- Yes.
Then you've won.
Great, darling.
- Dad, Dad! I won!
Thanks. Look, that's for you.
Merry Christmas.
- To you as well.
That we have to tell your mother.
Send regards to Enis.
How cool.
Uncle Enis threw himself into
a line of fire and was shot down.
The Kazakhs chickened out.
We had a white Christmas.
This is better than any video game.
The story keeps
getting crazier every year.
Freddy and Peter are here.
You are telling a nine year old
about the Anti-Christmas tree
and about the death of this uncle
on Christmas Eve? Are you serious?
I am more worried that he knows
who Ghandi and Luther are.
But if I think about it, only
the "terracotta boy" would know that.
Still jealous, right?
You are never taking over my part.
I am not illiterate.
Oh.
Halim wanted
an exciting Christmas story
and the hero dies in this one.
- But you didn't die.
The stupid thing with the three Magi
was also completely different.
And why do you have to change
Freddy up so much?
Halim think it's cool
that he's a cook.
What did Freddy have to be this year?
Oh, I just heard my name.
What are we talking about?
You don't want to know.
Daggi!
Merry Christmas!
Now that Freddy is here,
there has to be food.
Oh oh oh, that reminds me.
Modesty is a virtue,
but one gets further without it.
Come on, kids. Dinner's ready.
You finally want to get
your presents, don't you?
Grandma, the food is scorching!
Well ...
This was it.
The Christmas story of Enis.
Which he tells his family
and his crazy friends every year.
Every year a bit different.
And if she wasn't even a bit true,
it would not be a story, right?
And now?
Now hug each other
and be kind to one another.
I wish you luck, love and health.
Oh, and one thing:
Merry Christmas!