Our Little Secret (2024) Movie Script

This is the story
about a tiny little secret,
a couple of decades in the making.
The year is 1996.
The year when my daughter, Avery,
met Logan.
And they became inseparable.
Logan was different
than any other friend Avery had.
My wife and I could tell that right away.
And it wasn't just because he was a boy
but because she could absolutely,
unequivocally, 100% be herself.
And so could he.
And as the years passed,
that friendship seemed to...
change a little bit.
It turned into a love
I hope everyone gets to experience
at least once in their lifetime.
The kind of love
that can get you through anything.
Like the summer her mother,
the love of my life, passed away.
But no matter how hard it was,
the days kept coming,
and I had the pleasure of watching
them both become remarkable adults.
Avery, with her boundless determination,
has been given a dream job offer
to work in London.
And Logan,
well, I think he's doing everything he can
to hold onto the love of his life.
Avery, it's hard for me
to understand what I did wrong
when you won't tell me.
I'm gonna let you take a guess.
Sure. I could guess,
but something about your tone right now
and that vein pulsing on your forehead
like it always does tells me
I wouldn't be doing myself any favors.
Avery, come on. Will you talk to me?
Logan, you're drunk.
It's our last night together,
and you're drunk.
Do you ever think that maybe your leaving
is what drove me to drink?
Oh, so you moonwalking out of
the restaurant tonight was my fault?
Yeah.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm kidding. Or I'm half kidding.
I'm, like, really gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too.
Can I have a hug or something?
Don't be mad.
I'm just sad.
And I want us both to be glad.
Oh, Logan, you're so drunk!
I'm not that drunk.
Okay. Where are you right now?
Your going away party.
That's not funny.
Surprise!
["Go, Santa Go!"
Mama Claus said "Santa
Why do you look so down?"
Oh, thanks.
- I think she was surprised.
- 100%. Yeah.
My son really is gonna miss you.
You know that?
Yeah.
You know, I dated an English guy once.
Nothing gets me going
like a good Brit accent.
Call me crazy, call me a romantic,
but I think you and my daughter
have what it takes to go all the way.
Really?
See, you just gotta hang in there,
do whatever it takes.
Follow your heart.
If these legs
only had one more flight in them.
- Oh.
- You only live once.
Hey, Ma. Why don't you put something
in your mouth?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
It's time for a toast.
You should say something. Yep.
- Now? Okay.
- Yeah. Yep.
Hi. Uh, hi, everyone.
Attention! Attention!
Attention!
Aw!
Don't worry, honey.
Your dad's not gonna give
some long, boring, embarrassing speech
about how much...
...I'm gonna miss you.
And I'm certainly not gonna go on
and on and on and on
about how incredibly proud I am of you.
And how proud your...
your mother would've been.
Look, no, no. This is not the time
nor the place for that sort of thing.
I'm not gonna be the one
to bring down this room.
I'm going to leave that...
to Logan.
It's all yours.
Hey.
- Oh.
- Oh my goodness.
What are you doing?
I'm giving you a reason to stay.
- Maybe you've misunderstood what...
- No. I got it, Mitch.
Okay.
Oh, this is horrible.
Avery, um, I know that sometimes we...
we drive each other crazy.
Yeah. Please get up.
I... I can't, like, imagine
my life without you.
Okay, hon. Sweetie, get up.
And I don't want you to do something
you're gonna regret.
Don't do it.
So, uh, Avery...
Will you...
No, Logan. I will not marry you.
But I haven't asked the question yet.
Logan, I'm leaving.
You have to accept that.
No.
No.
No, you're not just "leaving."
You're kinda running away.
Okay, Logan, outside.
You're running away from your dad,
who can barely make a sandwich on his own.
Depends on the type.
You're running away from your home
that I know you love.
- Which will always be here.
- And you're running away from me.
And you've, like,
forgotten about me completely.
Logan,
I'm not doing this with you right now.
You know, if your mom were here, I think
she'd be really disappointed in you.
- But then again, if she were here...
- Dad.
...I don't think
we'd even be in this situation.
Don't talk about my mom.
- Well, it is the truth.
- We're done.
Mm. I think we already were.
I never want to see you again.
That's good. You should start
by moving across the world!
That was... unexpected.
Car keys!
ALS ice bucket challenge has gone viral.
Hamilton just broke a Broadway record.
Legalized same-sex marriage
in a historic decision.
...satellite has finally photographed Pluto.
...in one final game.
Whoo! Mamba out.
Beyond Meat
is sweeping through grocery stores.
Stranger Things
was the most streamed TV show in...
Moonlight wins Best Picture in...
Welcome to Windsor
and the Royal Wedding.
The Thai soccer team is finally rescued.
Fire has erupted
at the Notre-Dame Cathedral.
...captured the first image
of a supermassive black hole.
Virtual reality's finally here.
Like and subscribe for my...
...Elon said it would be.
It's called the Cybertruck!
Greta Thunberg is
the 2019 TIME Person...
Bernie Sanders's mittens. The viral...
Bridgerton just scored
the show's biggest opening weekend...
...NFTs and they're sweeping the art world.
...successfully landed
its Perseverance rover on Mars.
Ever Given is stuck
in the Suez Canal.
Squid Game is
officially Netflix's biggest series.
Captain Kirk himself is headed to space.
For the first time
in 87 years, England has a king again.
Artificial intelligence has arrived.
Argentina wins the 2022 World Cup.
Twitter's blue bird logo
has flown the coop.
California has suspended
the Cruise driverless vehicle.
Barbie and Oppenheimer
made for the perfect Hollywood...
Taylor Swift is in her history-making era.
Happy holidays, everyone. I'm off.
- Thanks. Have a merry Christmas.
- Bye! Safe travels.
Hey, where are you?
- I'm in the hallway.
- I don't see you.
- Can you see me now?
- Ah!
You look stressed.
I'm about to offer myself
as the official holiday sacrifice.
- Of course I'm stressed.
- God, I wanna meet this woman.
Trust me, you don't.
Is it good or bad
when the bottom's concave?
She is gonna love it.
Okay, I gotta go.
Take a breath. You've got this.
- Wish me luck.
- You're gonna be fine.
I'm almost sure of it. It really
all hinges on that bottle of wine.
Oh. Great.
I got this.
Where you been?
Just running your site.
- Are they here?
- Ten minutes.
- This it?
- Yeah.
Great. Got a lot of money
on the line today.
Where did you meet these guys, by the way?
It's not important because
they've got big ideas and deep pockets.
We're talking 15 to 20 floors,
and that's just the primary building.
Right. So, let's say we get this contract.
What does that mean for me?
- For you?
- Yeah.
Well, a year of full employment,
a roof over your head, food in your mouth.
The priceless gift of working for me.
Yeah, you've got me
for another 15 minutes.
Otherwise, I'm gonna be late
to meet Cassie's parents.
Hm. First impressions are overrated.
You're divorced, right?
Separated.
No, the business
has to be registered today.
No, no, no. An indemnity is standard.
They don't add it. We don't sign.
I don't care if he has to go in person.
That's why they hired us.
You're aware I charge
in six-minute increments, right?
I'd remind them that every day they don't
pay is another day they have to pay me.
Oh, we can keep going back and forth
like this for an hour,
or we could just jump to the part
where you agree with me
and you're $300 to the good.
So, remind me again.
Your brothers' names are Callum and...
- Cam.
- Cam.
Mm-hmm.
Cassie, Callum, Cam.
And the dog's name is Cookie.
It's Veronica.
No, I know. I know it's Veronica, but...
Cookie? Cassie, Callum...
I mean, all the C's?
Try harder.
Hey.
Okay, I'll be quick.
I should probably come in,
don't you think?
No, sweetie. I love you,
but we don't have time for you and my dad
to get in another 30-minute conversation
about the origin of the refrigerator.
Sure, sure. You know
it used to be called an icebox?
- Right. Okay.
- That's crazy.
It was just a box with ice.
Think about that. That's crazy. Right?
Hey, would you maybe wanna...
come in?
I'm good.
All right.
Be right back.
Dad! I'm here, and I'm late.
- Hey, kiddo.
- Oh, wow.
- Where's, uh, where's Cam?
- In the car.
So, let's get this show on the road,
Magnum, before your next case comes in.
You can make fun of me all you like,
but Tom Selleck was really something
back in the day.
Yeah, I'm sure.
There you go, smart aleck.
Oh!
Are you, uh, you sure
you don't want to keep these?
Yeah.
No, it's, uh,
it's time they were with you.
You ever hear from him?
No. Never.
I see his mom around from time to time.
She asks after you, you know.
Ma?
- Hm?
- Logan's here to see you.
Logan who?
Logan, your grandson.
Oh.
- Ah.
- Remember me?
You're handsome.
Oh, well, thank you, Grandma.
It's a little strange,
but, um, how are you doing?
Bored.
Almost to death, but I'm not that lucky.
Well, that's... that's pretty dark, Grandma,
but I think I can help
with the boredom part.
Here we go.
Oh, this one's my favorite.
Have you seen this?
It never hits the corner.
Can't say that I have, Grandma.
Oh.
- Mitchell, your suitcase is empty.
- Hm?
Yes, my suitcase is empty
because everything that's going into it
is in the wash right now, Susan.
All of it?
Yeah, sure. Yeah, colors,
whites, darks, the whole shebang.
You know you're gonna ruin them.
Does this look like a man
who cares about the way he looks?
- We wish you were coming with us.
- Yeah, I know. Me too.
- Maybe next year.
- Yeah.
With any luck,
we're gonna come back to a sold house.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Love you. Have a good trip.
Text me when you land.
Don't drink too much.
- Love you too.
- Take care.
Hm. I'm not sure
about the not drinking too much.
I don't know about that.
- I think you look really nice, by the way.
- I do too.
- You care.
- I do too.
- Why is the cable not working anymore?
- Oh, would you look at the time?
- Honey, you gotta go.
- You should've told me.
- We're fine.
- No, you're not fine. I can help.
Well, you help enough already.
It's just a lot right now
with the meds and the support staff.
And it's... We're fine.
Hey, big step.
Staying with the parents, huh?
No, don't change the subject.
Logan, would I lie to you?
Yes. 100%.
- Are you going to be okay?
- Yes.
Al and Dan are coming Christmas Eve.
We'll do dinner when you're back.
- Okay.
- Hey. Go get 'em.
- I will. I love you.
- Love you.
- Call me if you need anything.
- Okay.
- I love you, Grandma.
- Yeah?
Make sure to show some love
to the pup, okay?
- Will do.
- Mom likes that.
And don't worry, the dog does not bite,
does not bark. Very sweet.
Okay. I wasn't...
And oh! You've gotta try
my mom's chocolate cookies.
- They're unreal.
- Okay, I'll try them.
But she's very particular
about how many you eat, so be careful.
- I won't eat a lot.
- She keeps a special batch just for me.
- Don't eat too many cookies.
- Exactly.
If you're nice, I'll let you
have a bite of one of my cookies.
- Oh my gosh. It already started.
- Yeah.
- I thought we were gonna come earlier.
- Yeah.
- I should've changed my clothes.
- It's okay. Hey. Hey.
No, I'm nervous.
Right.
- Breathe.
- Okay.
- You're good. You look beautiful.
- Breathing. Really?
- Yes. Come here.
- Okay. Thank you.
Hope I'm interrupting.
- Hi, darling.
- Hi, Mama.
- Mrs. Morgan.
- Avery. Better late than never.
This is for you.
Thank you, dear.
And look, it's a screw top.
Fast and easy.
Hi. Oh!
No, ma'am. We won't eat our guests.
That never happens.
Want to come in?
I'm so proud of you.
- How are you doing?
- I'm tired.
- You've been working too hard.
- Yeah, I have.
Here we go.
Oh!
- Guess what I made.
- Your cookies.
- I made just for my boy.
- I know. I know.
Oh.
Cute jeans.
Oh. Leonard!
That puts a lot
of pressure on you.
Well, I gotta do something.
I just gotta figure out what.
Ask Paul for the money.
He appears to be rolling in it.
I've been asking Paul for more money
since the day I started.
I get the same spiel every time.
"You bring in the business,
you get the payout."
So why don't you bring in the business?
Well, I don't think he ever expected me
to take that literally.
But that is a very good idea.
Mm. I have a lot of good ideas, Logan.
My dad has a lot of friends in that world.
Maybe I can make some intros.
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you.
No. No. Come on.
What's wrong
with what I'm wearing? Seriously.
Have you looked in a mirror?
Yeah, we definitely...
- Hi, Daddy. Hi.
- Hey, sweetheart.
Merry Christmas.
- Hey, buddy.
- Good to see you.
Don't let your mom see me not working.
Mommy's here.
- Hello.
- Mom.
These are for you.
Oh, Logan. They're gorgeous.
And, you know, I'm sorry for being late.
I kinda got tied up at work.
Don't be silly. It must be hard
to get away when you're the big boss.
- Don't I...
- Where are your bags?
Uh, they're in the truck.
We can just get them after the party.
Nonsense. We'll have Callum get your bags.
Callum. Callum.
Can you get his bags, please?
Yes, Mother.
Sounds like they are here.
Oh. New blood. Thank God.
- What's that?
- Nothing. Don't listen to me.
- Hey, man. Nice to meet you.
- Keys.
Oh. Oh, uh, yes.
Sure thing. That's the truck.
Yep. Got it.
- My favorite brother.
- My favorite sister.
Logan, meet my brother, Cam.
- Hey.
- It's good to finally meet you.
Yeah, good to finally meet you, man.
It's a pleasure.
And this is his girlfriend, Avery.
It's so great to meet you.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
Avery and I...
...are so delighted to be included
in your family Christmas.
Of course.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.
So great to meet you again.
Uh, Logan, was it?
- Yep. Logan.
- Right. Okay.
Yeah. You too.
Right. Well, Logan,
there are a ton of people
who are just dying to meet you.
- So come with me.
- Okay, yeah.
Meet the neighbors.
They have a lot of money.
Oh, good.
Yeah, um,
I'm making a lot of money.
I'm raking in Bitcoin
like you wouldn't believe.
And, frankly, this time next year,
I think I'm gonna have a boat.
And, uh... You're invited.
I'm feeling it.
I need food. I'm dying.
- So where's your bathroom again?
- Oh, I'll show you.
- Oh, it's fine. I can take him.
- Oh, no. You said you're hungry.
You should eat this.
This one's really good.
- Thanks.
- Come on.
- Great.
- Mm, yes.
Mmm.
- Uh-oh. She means business, folks.
- This cannot be happening.
Okay, can we... Let's just take a breath.
Logan, you cannot tell anyone about us.
Wait, this is funny. What's it been?
It's been like ten years.
I say we go out there,
we say that we dated, and we just move on.
- Oh, you think this is funny?
- Yeah, I kinda do.
Okay. You know what? Maybe you're right.
Maybe we should go out there
and tell them all that we dated.
That way, for the next four days,
they can picture us,
you know, having S-E-X.
S-E...
Nothing to see here. Excuse me. Logan.
All right. All right.
Okay, yes. I see how
that might be, like, a little problematic.
The last thing I need
is to give that woman ammunition.
Erica? She seems like a delight.
This is so typical of you.
Just leave it to you to sweep in here
and charm the pants off that meanie.
- She's... she's a meanie?
- Yeah, she's a meanie.
Okay. Well, should we go,
like, tell the teacher on duty?
Oh, sorry. I was just trying to speak
in terms that you're used to.
Can you sign Cassie's report cards
or do they have to go home to her parents?
You're very funny. Um, are we done here?
Do we have an understanding?
Yeah, sure.
- Yes, or sure? What is it?
- Yes. We have a deal.
Okay.
After you.
No. After you.
You are a nightmare.
It's fine. It's gonna be fine.
- Logan.
- Hey.
Logan, I want you to meet my parents'
best friends in the whole world.
- This is Margaret.
- Hi. Logan.
And Stan.
- Hi, good to meet you.
- Hi.
Well.
Well done, Cassie.
Margaret.
Oh, tsk. I'm just saying
what everybody else is thinking.
Cassie tells us that you're,
like, a big development guy.
Oh, um, well, I work in sort of
commercial and industrial real estate.
We're just wrapping up a department store
at the north end of the city.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Stan's company is looking to build
a big lifestyle complex out of Marietta.
- Maybe you two should talk shop.
- Honey.
What do you mean, a lifestyle complex?
It's a bit of a passion project
for people my age.
Too old to be going to the clubs
and too young
to be playing tranquilized chess.
Hear, hear.
That sounds fascinating.
Um, if you wouldn't mind,
I'd love to hear more about it.
Maybe... offer some thoughts?
Ah, sure, why not?
I'll have my office send you the brief.
I have to be transparent, though.
We are looking to award the business
on January 1st.
So all competing bids have to be in
by the 24th.
Okay. Yeah. That's not a problem.
Can't wait to see his face.
Well, look what I found.
Sophie!
- Sophie. What?
- Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. I didn't know you were...
you were gonna be home.
- I was hoping you'd be here.
- I had no idea.
Well, I wanted it to be a surprise,
so I swore these two to secrecy.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hi.
Well, there you go.
Mission accomplished. Yeah.
Oh, Soph. This is my girlfriend, Avery.
Avery, this is Sophie.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- How do you know each other?
- These two?
Oh, they've been inseparable
since the crib.
Ah, yeah, well, then she left us
for the land down under.
Yeah, but now we all get
free medical advice.
That's true. Touch.
Is Callum around?
Oh, I'm sure he's around
wishing his night away.
Ah, yes. There he is.
Oh my God. How old is he?
Eighteen-ish.
"Ish?" I mean, he's exactly 18.
That's what I said.
Is it?
Callum, no! Jeez, Leonard.
Callum, what are you doing?
Are you kidding me? Put that down.
- You told me I could have a drink.
- When you're 21, you can. You're a child.
Odd how he's so old,
yet we haven't aged at all.
Yeah, not at all.
A lot of moisturizer for me, so...
Okay, Christmas crew, are you ready?
Guess what time it is.
- Yes. I remember.
- I know.
I don't know the drill. What's this for?
Okay, this is Secret Santa.
It's our family's longest tradition.
$50 limit, so be here
or be uninvited next year.
Oh.
Who got me?
I can't say who this is.
- Okay, we can't say, Mom.
- I want you to get me.
Why doesn't she age?
It's like a horror movie.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Logan seems like an okay guy, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Sophie too.
You know,
it's funny how you never mentioned her,
given how close you guys were.
Um...
I mean, we've really only seen each other
a handful of times in the last decade.
Ah.
- Yeah.
- Your mom seems to really like her.
Whoa, are you jealous?
No, no, not at all.
No, she's just really tall and pretty.
Is she... is she tall? I didn't notice.
- Oh, so you think she's pretty?
- No, I...
Uh...
I don't know.
Everyone's tall to me. I'm 5'7".
I think you're beautiful.
I think you're the perfect height,
and I didn't even notice,
and my mom just takes a second
to warm up. Okay?
Yeah, okay.
She didn't like Cassie until she was 11.
Yeah. And Callum, I don't think
she likes him at all. Still.
Very funny.
I wish I was kidding.
She's gonna love you.
I hope so. Good night.
She will. Good night.
- Do you mind if I leave the light on?
- No, it's fine.
Veronica. Oh, yes.
Oh, yeah. Oh, you're so sweet.
You're such a tease.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- Hi.
- Morning.
- Coffee?
- Yes, please.
So, I was thinking we go to town today.
Yeah, that would be great,
except remember I told you we have
the family portrait we're doing today.
- You what?
- Mm-hmm.
The artist is coming here
to do final touches on everyone.
Right, final touches.
Mm. Yeah, I know,
but it's my mom's thing, so...
- Little creepy.
- Yeah.
What's creepy?
Oh, no, creaky. I meant creaky.
Uh, the bed
in his room is just a little creaky.
Oh. Well, I'm sorry our accommodations
aren't up to your standards, Avery.
Oh, no, I was just... just...
Logan, how did you sleep?
Oh, like a dream. Thank you so much.
Now, that's what I like to hear.
Avery, Logan's gonna go
get the real Christmas tree
so we can decorate after church,
and you should go with him.
- Oh?
- Uh, yeah, I don't wanna get in the way.
That'll be fun. Yeah, you two can get
to know each other. You should go.
Yeah.
- Great.
- Great.
Now, everyone, don't forget,
the children's mass
is at church today at 4 p.m.
And you two,
Father Paul said that if y'all were
interested in doing a reading...
- Mom.
- Okay. It's just Jesus's birthday
He'd be over 2,000 years old,
but you do you.
Avery, um,
it's not really a jeans occasion.
Just in case you're wondering
about appropriate dress.
Oh.
I'll be back.
- What is this robe that you're wearing?
- My coat is fine. It's shockingly warm.
Here, wear this.
I can't listen to you complain all day.
- Oh, no. I can't wear this.
- Why not?
Well, because it's ugly.
And it literally has Callum's name on it.
It's a tree lot, Logan.
I think I'll be fine. Let's go.
I'm the happiest Christmas tree
Ho ho ho, hee hee hee
Dad, come on!
Look how pretty they dressed me
Oh, lucky, lucky me
I'm the happiest Christmas tree
Christmas Day, wait and see
I'll be laughin' happily
With a ho-ho-ho-hee-hee...
Check again.
Yeah, 'cause I amended the exec summary.
Oh, I must've sent an old version.
I'm so sorry.
I'll send it when I get back
to the house, okay? Thanks.
I'm so sorry. Thank you.
With a ho-ho-ho-hee-hee
I don't understand what's happening here.
You know there's a bunch
of pre-chopped trees in the city, right?
Yeah, but where's the fun in that?
Also, I'm not gonna pay hundreds
of dollars for a tree. You know?
- Well, you're nothing if not consistent.
- Thank you.
- You look cold. Can you wear this, please?
- Yeah. I guess. Why not?
- Will you wait?
- I'm just getting hot chocolate.
- Really?
- No.
How about this one?
No, we're looking for an eight-footer.
These are all barely hitting six.
My feet are cold, and I'm starving.
- Damn it, I knew I forgot something.
- What?
I usually bring a baggie full of nuts
and crackers in case you get hungry.
Uh-huh, hysterical. How about this one?
You know, getting Erica to like you
is not nearly
as hard as you're making it look.
There's a lot of low-hanging fruit there.
Okay, what I mean is...
What if I set you up for some wins?
I make you look really good,
and then maybe I could
get Erica to, um, love you.
- Your opinion of yourself is nauseating.
- No, no, no. I'm being serious right now.
And why would you do that?
Because we're friends.
And I could also maybe use your help
with something.
Ah, okay. And what's that?
A proposal.
- Proposal?
- Yeah.
Oh, no. No. Sorry. Uh...
A business proposal with Stan.
Trust me, Cassie and I are
nowhere near proposals yet.
Oh, no, no, no,
not with midterms coming up.
Can I continue?
So, look, I've built out plans before,
I've pulled permits, done all of that,
but I haven't really done
like a full business proposal,
and you seem to do them all the time.
How do you know what I do?
Your dad gave my mom
one of your business cards once.
It was on the fridge for a very long time.
Hmm.
So what do you say,
Miss Business Consultant
comma MBA? You in?
I'd say you're delusional if you think
you're gonna whip up a business proposal
and you've never done one before.
So you see my problem?
Huh.
Come on. Can you please just help me?
Help me do this proposal,
and I will help you become
Morgan family material or whatever.
Who says we're even that serious?
Come on. You're in your thirties,
so you're not casually dating anymore.
And whether or not you wanna admit it,
your boyfriend is a giant mama's boy.
She'd probably chew his food for him.
So there's no way he's gonna do anything
without her approval first.
- You're insane.
- Am I?
Yes, and I don't need your help anyway.
I can handle Erica all on my own.
Thank you very much.
Right, okay. It's been going well so far.
Hey.
- Phone away.
- I'm doing this for Mom.
Hello? Hi. How's everything going?
Great. Everything's good. Everything okay?
My mom wanted to know
if you could bring a few bottles of wine
back on your way home.
- Tell her no screw caps, Cameron.
- You got that?
Heard that.
All right, no worries. Love you.
Love you.
Okay, y'all, the sooner we get this done
is the sooner we are done.
- I know.
- Story of my life.
- Wake up. Come on.
- Smile.
- Don't have to hit me.
- Smile.
Logistically...
how would this thing work?
Oh, okay. Um...
Well, we've got three days,
and we gotta do a bit of damage control
on your end, obviously.
But there's nothing
we can't walk back from.
All you need to do is make sure
that I deliver a winning proposal
to Stan by Christmas Eve. That's it.
Hm.
Okay. Let's just make this
as painless as possible.
Deal.
Deal.
- Logan, is that...
- What?
Is that coffee?
Have you been holding out on me?
Can... can you save me some?
A little bit, please?
Maybe.
Holy... Logan! What gives?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Do you have any napkins in here?
- Try the glove box.
Oh my God. Food!
Are those gummies?
Yes!
Mm. A little stale, but whatever.
- What? You want some?
- No, I'm all good.
Why are we here so early?
This isn't really "a jeans occasion."
Right. So I have an idea to impress Erica.
Oh God.
How do we feel about... public speaking?
I feel good about these.
- Watch the couch.
- I see it. I see it.
- Right here in front of the double doors.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- It's all I could carry.
- I need your help. It's Christmas.
Logan, it's beautiful.
Oh, uh, thank you.
I wish I could take all the credit, but,
um, Avery is the one that picked it out.
Oh, Avery.
Well, it's a lovely tree. Thank you.
Cam, can you run to the basement
and get some more ornaments?
Yes, Mom.
- You heard her.
- All right, Mom.
Here we go.
Oh, wow.
- It's incredible. Really incredible.
- Yeah, it's really something.
Wow. She just captures us so perfectly.
Does she?
What's so funny?
- Oh no.
- I need... water.
Is she all right?
Yeah. I don't know.
I think she was struck by the beauty.
Um. Wow.
Hey. You gotta work with me here.
No, I know. I'm just...
That painting. Come on. She doesn't age.
Yes, I know it's a little disturbing,
but please keep it together.
Good. This is nice. Great job.
- I will. Okay. I got it.
- Okay.
- Whoosah.
- Whoosah.
- Yeah.
- Let's just...
Namaste.
Mm-hmm.
- Okay?
- I'm good. I got this.
You ready for church?
- No.
- Yes.
That was your fault.
Don't smile.
Did she send you?
What's wrong now?
- Nothing.
- Tell your face.
Wrong coat. Try this one.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
- This one looks better.
- Oh gosh.
- Feels like being wrapped in kittens.
- Erica...
I'm sorry?
You're not wearing that, are you?
No, we just took this to the tree farm.
I'm putting it back.
Oh, thank God.
- What's...
- Mm. Much better.
Okay.
Are you driving or Daddy?
Yeah. I like that.
All right.
I know, but...
- Logan, you ready?
- Yep. Just getting my jacket.
It's time.
- Do I have to go in the back?
- I'm coming.
Your holy light has...
These are the best seats in the house.
You gotta pay extra for the pleasure.
Yeah.
- No, of course.
- Nails are so weird.
They're so hard.
They grow out of nowhere.
- Mm-hmm.
- You can paint them, which is nice.
It's also quite strange.
Right.
Um...
Are you okay?
Or...?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
Um, actually, you know what?
I gotta run to the restroom.
Let's not worry about the nails.
Sorry, I'm gonna just squeeze past ya.
Ave Maria
Yeah, it's a good one.
Hey, little man.
Um, is the big guy in there?
Yeah. He's preparing for service.
Great. I need
to have a quick conversation with...
Oh, whoa. Easy there, tiger. No can do.
Excuse me? Uh...
Could... Well, then... Okay.
This is really important.
My friend Avery was supposed
to do a reading,
and she can't anymore
because she's pretty sick,
and you need to tell him that.
No problem.
Well, thank you. Just don't forget.
I got it.
You better.
Ave Maria
- How are you feeling?
- Are you hungry? I'm hungry.
I'm not really hungry,
but I'm not the one that's super stoned.
Yeah, okay.
No. For real.
You're... you're very high right now.
Those gummies
that you ate were laced with THC.
You're kidding. Tell me you're kidding.
I'm not. But it's gonna be okay
because I talked to them.
I said you're not feeling well,
so you don't have to read.
- Just sit here, be quiet. We'll be good.
- Okay.
"The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light."
"Those who dwelt
in a land of deep darkness,
on them has light shined."
"Thou hast multiplied the nation."
"They rejoice before Thee
as with joy at the harvest,
as men rejoice
when they divide the spoil."
How long have we been here?
Ten minutes.
Oh, great.
Before I begin my sermon today,
I would like to welcome
a very special guest of the Morgan family,
who has graciously offered
to lead our children's story.
I think
those gummies are starting to kick in.
Oh, no.
Miss Avery. Miss Avery.
Wh... What?
Miss Avery.
- What do I do?
- It's gonna be okay.
- What do I do?
- I don't know.
- What do I do?
- It's gonna be okay.
- Is it?
- I don't know. Is it?
- Do we...
- Avery, what are you doing?
- Excuse me. Pardon.
- Are you sure?
You forgot.
Okay. This is fine.
One minor misstep.
It could happen to anyone.
No one needs to know you're high.
Oh, wow, I am so high.
This would be great
if I were anywhere but here.
On an island. Eating a slice of pizza.
Stop it! Focus.
Just smile. Nod.
Just a normal, not high girl,
on her way to talk to children
about a birthday party...
...while completely stoned.
You did it. Look at you.
Standing up here.
And no one suspects a thing.
This is a surprise for me.
She's just standing there.
Avery, you should say something.
Out loud. For all to hear.
So.
A long, long time ago,
in a far, far away galaxy...
It's gonna be great. She's warming up.
Line.
Bethlehem.
Right. In Bethlehem,
Mary, the mom,
and Joseph, "the father,"
they got all
their smartest friends together
for a sort of, like,
you know, a baby shower.
There's a party going on right here.
A celebration
to last throughout the years.
So bring your good times
and your laughter too.
We're gonna celebrate this party with you.
Is that Kool & The Gang?
Yes, I think so.
This is your celebration.
Oh...
Celebrate good times, come on
Celebrate good times, come on
Celebration
Let's all celebrate
And have a good time
It's a celebration, oh
Celebrate good times, come on
Here's a fun idea. How about
not saying something for a change?
I will deal with it.
Well...
- That was, um... a lot.
- Yeah. Let me exp...
- Miss Avery.
- Yes?
- Excuse me, Avery.
- Yeah.
Well, I must say that was not
what I was expecting.
Yeah, I know...
I can assure you,
it's not what any of us were expecting.
That's right. It was better.
Huh?
I'm sorry. Pardon?
I haven't seen the children,
the entire congregation,
engaged in a service
like that in, well, ever.
How you told the story of Jesus's birth
in such a fun and approachable way.
It may not have been my style,
and largely inaccurate,
but this is our busiest time of the year
with all of the, you know,
fair-weather worshipers.
And I just heard some of the children
asking to come to the next service.
Well, you don't say.
- It's a Christmas miracle.
- Huh, must be.
- Thank you so much.
- My pleasure.
Don't be a stranger.
No, it's okay. Leave that one alone.
Hey.
Hey. Munchies?
- What are you doing up so late?
- Just working on some concepts.
Oh. What are these?
I was just messing with those.
This is the master here.
Wh... what's wrong with these?
Nothing's wrong with them,
but they're just not really practical.
And for guys like Stan and my boss,
they just want things fast and cheap.
I think these concepts are really great.
Well, thank you very much.
- And I'm starving.
- I bet you are.
Oh, I emailed you that template
to work off of.
I got it. Thank you.
Jackpot.
Ah, nothing like a well-balanced meal.
Well, I'm starving.
Yeah, THC does that to you.
I think it's really great
that you're doing this.
Doing what?
Reaching for more.
I was always
a little jealous of you that way.
You were jealous of me?
Yeah, you just...
You always knew
how to be happy, and I didn't.
I... I don't really remember it that way.
Oh, you're talking about London.
Yeah, not... not to rehash the past
or anything, but yeah.
It didn't feel like
you were just going off to do a job.
It felt like you were running away
from everything
that reminded you of your mother.
- Like home?
- And me.
Well, that was like ten years ago, Logan.
I've changed a lot since then.
When was the last time
you were home for Christmas?
Okay.
No, I just...
I don't want you to think
that I was fine, that I was happy,
or that I just moved on, because I didn't.
I know you lost the most important person
to you in the entire world that year,
but so did I.
Logan.
You know what? I'm so sorry. Uh...
I think it's pretty late, so...
Sorry. Excuse me. I'm just gonna... turn in.
Night.
Night.
Mmm.
Oh, Avery,
I'm gonna burn your jeans.
Give them to me.
Gonna throw them in the fireplace.
Now, Sophie can wear jeans.
She is so beautiful.
And I know
you ate all my cookies.
Good morning,
my little prince Camelot. How'd you sleep?
I slept fine.
You have to stop putting warm milk
by the bed. It freaked Avery out.
- Are you going out?
- I am.
I have a work call,
so figured I'd get a walk in too.
Okay, well, hurry back.
I've got those ladies coming over
for the cookie exchange.
- I'm gonna need help...
- Okay. Yes, Mom.
Oh, shit. Oh, this is bad.
- Logan! Thank God.
- What? What?
I need you to distract Erica
for three minutes.
- Please.
- What? Why?
- Are you hungry?
- I'm not. I'm really full.
- You didn't have the cinnamon rolls?
- Not yet.
- Is everything all right?
- No time for questions.
- Just keep her far away from the kitchen.
- Okay, got it.
I'm looking forward to 'em.
You made 'em fresh?
- Why? Are you constipated?
- No, what does that have...
- Sometimes I know those plug you up...
- Hey. Hey.
So sorry. Um.
Could I actually speak with you
for a moment in... in private?
In private? Why, yes, sir.
Kiss Mommy.
- Love you, Mom.
- I love you too.
- Boo!
- Oh, hey.
Um... So, I just... I just wanted to say,
first and foremost,
thank you for... for having me.
You're so welcome.
You know that. We love you.
Was there something in particular
you wanted to speak with moi about?
- There is.
- Is it...
Are you going to ask me
what I think you're going to ask me?
I... I... I... I think so.
Oh my goodness!
Cookie facial.
I admit it's quick, but...
- When you know, you know. You know?
- Yeah, I guess we know.
- Oh, come here.
- You... What's happening?
Now sit and look guilty.
- My future son.
- That's... Yeah.
Veronica, no!
What happened?
She got into the cookies.
How's that possible?
They were on the counter.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
She must've eaten like a dozen.
- Leonard!
- Leonard left already.
Well, somebody needs
to take me to the vet ASAP.
What? Vet? No!
I don't think that's necessary.
Avery. Chocolate is toxic to dogs.
She's three pounds.
Oh, I didn't think of that.
Okay, well, time is of the essence.
Let's go.
Logan, please clean up.
Yeah.
- Avery.
- Go in.
- Hi. We called from the car.
- Okay.
God. Mommy's here.
It's okay.
Oh my God.
I can feel her heart
starting to slow down.
Well, hello, Veronica.
Doctor, please help her.
She has eaten an exorbitant amount
of chocolate cookies.
You have, have you?
I've never seen her this way before.
So, what do we do, doc?
Just give her a pill?
A lot of fluids? Just give us the goods,
and we'll be on our way.
Well, unfortunately,
it's not that simple. Uh...
For a dog this size to eat
that much chocolate,
it means we're gonna
have to physically induce vomiting,
flush her system with fluids,
and then force-feed her activated charcoal
to keep the toxins
from getting into her bloodstream.
- Oh my God.
- No shit.
Oh, please, doctor, whatever it takes.
I feel her getting weaker
with each passing minute.
- All right, I'll be right back.
- Oh God.
Erica, I know this is hard.
It is. It really is.
It's only gonna get harder,
so you're gonna have to let me help you.
I'm gonna stay here with Veronica, okay?
So you don't have to see this.
- I will not abandon my animal.
- Listen to me. You can and you will.
I will be with Veronica the entire time.
Oh my God.
Erica, I've got this.
It's okay.
Just go. It's okay. Don't worry.
Um...
Mommy's gonna pray for you. Yes, she is.
- Save her life.
- It's okay. Just go. We'll be fine.
- But I...
- You have my word.
All right.
So, funny story.
Oh, hi. Yeah.
Let me get this straight.
You ate a dozen cookies.
Then proceeded to blame it on a dog.
And now you want me to pretend
to administer treatment?
If it helps, I'm not proud.
You don't say.
So, you in?
Well, I can honestly say we weren't taught
how to handle this situation
in veterinary school.
But I'm feeling it compromises
at least four ethical codes.
So I'm gonna have to say no on this one.
Doc, please, please, no. Are you married?
Yes.
How are your in-laws?
Aw. Who's a good girl?
You. You. You. Who's a good girl?
You're such a good girl. Yes, you are.
That's my...
Joy to the world
The savior reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills, and plains...
Oh!
My poor darling. How'd she do, doctor?
Shockingly well.
She did?
That's because she's a brave girl.
Yes, she is a brave girl.
And Avery, you are too. Thank you so much.
Well, thanks, doc.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, uh, you're just forgetting your bill.
Get in the car. I'll take care of this.
Okay. Fair enough.
It was a pleasure doing business
with you, Avery.
It's a lot.
You haven't seen it?
We're watching it next week.
- Okay. Uh, where can I put this?
- Over there.
- They're back. Come on.
- Oh, okay.
Cam, they're back.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How is she?
- They had to give her intravenous drugs.
They pumped her tummy
and gave her charcoal
to keep that blood system okay.
But she's fine,
and she took it like a champ.
As did you, my dear.
Honestly, I can't even describe it.
This lady was the true star at the vet.
- Oh, it was nothing.
- I can assure you it wasn't nothing.
Thank you so much for what you did,
and I'll never forget it.
Neither will I.
You saved our baby's life.
Did you, my precious angel, live?
- Logan, what are you doing?
- Have you lost your mind?
Okay, it's not as bad as it seems.
I told the vet that I ate the cookies,
and he did me a solid.
But Erica...
No, I told Erica to take a little walk
while I straightened things out.
- You're gonna get us into trouble.
- "Trouble?"
What are you, five?
You weren't like this when we dated.
- Excuse me?
- Just get out before someone sees you.
Who's gonna see me?
Hi.
Let's chat.
Look, I don't know
what you think you heard,
but whatever it was, you've got it wrong.
Well, I think I heard
that you two used to date
and that you ate all the cookies
and then blamed it on the dog.
I only ate those cookies
because of your gummies.
Really? Where'd you find those?
I've been looking for those everywhere.
- They were in your jacket.
- Not the point.
Right. Not the point, Callum.
You better keep this info to yourself,
or I'm gonna tell your mommy and daddy
about your little drug habit.
And then I'll tell them that you ate them.
Like, okay?
- Fair enough. I didn't think that through.
- Okay. Look, guys.
It's Christmas, right?
We just wanna keep the peace. That's it.
And I don't see why
we all can't get what we want here.
Okay. I'm listening.
- Put your number in here.
- Okay.
We'll be in touch.
- Why am I terrified right now?
- Because he's a sociopath.
Seriously?
No way. Already?
Hello? Absolutely not.
Avery, be strong.
No. No, I can't. No, it's not possible.
- Okay, fine. What flavor?
- Say no. Say no.
You're gonna have to make a booze run.
Now?
It feels great
to get out of the house.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Trickery...
Yes, I'm sure about this.
- Oh, the one with the... Yes.
- Oh, I like this place.
With the burn marks...
- Yeah, it's fun, right?
- Okay. We're fine.
This is where I had my 21st birthday.
Not that I remember it.
That's probably a good thing.
Hi. Four vodka shots, please.
Uh, three vodka shots, please.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah. Of course.
Are you feeling weird about being away
from your mom at Christmas?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's it.
Well, we can do your place
next year, okay?
Yeah, sure.
- Great. Now stop being such a buzzkill.
- Okay.
Hey, girl.
Sophie!
Hello.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- It's so good to see you.
- You look gorg.
Hey, you came!
Hello.
Look at you, huh?
Can I get you a... a drink?
Um, gonna get us another round, yes?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
Having a good trip?
Oh, it's been really good. Thanks.
- Erica can be a bit intense, huh?
- Oh, no. She's great.
Maybe a little bit. Sometimes.
- Yeah.
- Just a little bit.
For what it's worth, most
of Cam's girlfriends would've left by now
with crumbled self-esteem
and mascara running down their face.
So, I think you're nailing it.
Oh, well,
I came packing waterproof.
Oh, excuse me. Just one second.
- Yeah.
- Hi, Barb.
Sorry, it's loud in here.
Hey, Barb. Sorry.
Yeah, I'm... I'm here.
And now it might sound odd,
but my husband came earlier today,
and we're not still together,
but it was...
- Are you still there?
- Uh, yeah, sorry.
I can, um, I can do that.
- Yeah. Wonderful. I'm trying to...
- Okay, bye.
I did. I did.
Hey.
Uh, that was my dad's real estate agent.
She has some showings tomorrow,
and she can't find her key.
No, you're kidding.
- So, I gotta go.
- No way. That's like an hour away.
- I'd drive you, but I've been drinking.
- I'll take you.
- What? No.
- Yeah, I can't let you do that.
No, that's all right.
I should get back and do my work anyway.
Let the good guy do his good guy thing.
- Thank you, man.
- Yeah. I should probably...
Okay. Well then, bye.
- Unbelievable. I'm sorry.
- Bye. Good to see you.
- Have fun.
- Bye, Cass.
- Yeah, it's fine. Bye.
- I'll text you on our way home.
- Thanks, man. Saving the day.
- Yeah. Anytime.
All right, I'll just be a minute.
Avery?
Yeah.
I really miss my mom.
I know you do.
I just can't believe
I have to say goodbye to this place.
I see this house, and all I see is her.
Making my Halloween costume.
Putting the Christmas tree up
way too early.
Mm. Taking it down way too late.
Yeah.
She was my best friend.
I know.
It just really hurts.
I saw myself raising a family here.
I remember.
Ry, have... have you talked
to your dad about this?
Yeah, but he just retired. He needs
all he can get from this house.
You should do it.
You should put in an offer.
Ry, you keep...
You keep trying to,
like, run from your past
in order to move forward with your life.
But your past is what makes you you.
And the people
that care about you understand that.
That's something my mom would say.
All right, okay, well,
you have a proposal to do.
No. No, no, no.
Come on, it can wait.
Let's just...
Let's just sit here for a little bit.
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!
Jingle bells...
Hello?
Oh, what fun it is to ride
Sure.
In a one-horse open sleigh
Whoo!
I'm feeling good.
Hey. Hey, Callum.
If you puke in my car, I'm gonna
leave you outside to die, okay?
Hey, man.
Yeah. I'm not kidding.
All right. I'll leave you.
Rock out.
I was feeling fine.
- Oh yeah.
- Steady.
No. No.
Well, make sure you don't feel fine into
the trash can, if you know what I mean.
Yeah.
There you go. Sleep tight.
He's still out.
Good night.
Yeah, good night.
- Late night?
- Hey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Late night, for sure.
What are you doing up?
Just some work stuff.
Right.
Crazy. It's late. Working hard.
All right, well, I'm gonna call it.
Pretty wiped.
- Night.
- Yep, night.
Logan.
Hey, man.
Do you, uh... Do you think
you could keep this between us?
You know, it's just...
She gets upset when I stay out and drink.
Just wouldn't wanna ruffle any...
You know what I mean?
Sure.
Cool.
Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.
- Yeah.
- Cool. All right.
- Night.
- Night.
Morning.
Morning.
- Here you go.
- Oh. Thanks.
Mm. Avery, you missed such a fun night.
- Oh, when did you guys get in?
- I got back at, like, one-ish.
But Cam stayed out later with the bros.
And this guy was up all night working
on his little proposal.
Hey, girl.
- I'm so sorry. I totally forgot.
- Don't worry about it. It's all right.
Email it to me. I want to see it.
Sure.
Merry Christmas Eve.
- Hey.
- Hey. Morning.
- When did you get in?
- 2 a.m.
I know. Crazy.
I crashed on the couch
because I didn't wanna wake ya.
Well, I'm gonna go change.
What's up?
Nothing. Just, uh...
- You didn't get much sleep.
- No.
- In fact, I... I still have to finish...
- Sure.
...this one part. Probably print some of it.
- Yeah. Why not? All good.
- I'll be right back.
- I love it when it snows.
- Me too. It feels so Christmassy.
I don't think it's gonna stick, though.
Okay, Dr. Downer.
Sorry.
- So, who'd you get?
- They call it Secret Santa for a reason.
Ugh. Well, just so we're clear,
I'm into secret gifts. Okay, Santa?
Think... black lace.
Okay. Hang on. Sorry.
I think this is Paul.
Yeah. I gotta take this.
You okay? Dr. Downer?
- Yeah. Sorry. I'm just a bit exhausted.
- Okay.
Yeah. Um. Okay,
so let's meet back here at three?
- Yeah? Does that work?
- Okay.
- Cool, cool. I'll see you in a bit.
- Yeah.
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a Happy New Year
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas...
Hey, we should, uh, talk.
Logan.
No, it's not about us.
It's about... Cam, actually.
- What about Cam?
- He came back pretty late last night.
Oh, yeah. I know. He told me.
No. That's the thing.
It was actually a little bit later than...
Logan. Are you happy with Cassie?
What does that have to do with anything?
I mean, yeah. Yes, of course I am.
Okay. Then why are you trying
to start shit with Cam?
Start shit with...?
I'm not... I'm not trying to start shit.
I just... worry about you,
and it didn't feel right.
Logan, I'm not yours
to worry about anymore.
You're right.
Yeah.
- You're right.
- Logan.
No. That's all right.
I'll see you back at the house.
- Oh, sorry. I was just...
- No, it's okay.
Logan, this is really good.
Huh. Well, thank you.
I swear,
you two are begging to get caught.
What do you want, Callum?
I'm gonna need a gift for Secret Santa.
Hmm. Malls are closed, dude. No can do.
Oh, that's okay.
I'll just take one of yours.
I've... I've got Mom,
so if either of you have any of
the other girls, we should be all set.
I have your dad.
Well, I... I got you.
Oh. Well, that actually works out.
Fine. You can take my gift,
you evil little man.
Here.
It was a pleasure doing business with you.
Yeah, yeah.
Little troll.
He's so annoying.
Satan in a fuzzy sweater.
No, but, honestly I...
No, but hold on.
Honestly, Erica, when we were their age,
there just weren't the same opportunities.
Oh, so true.
I mean, look at this. We have
a consulting executive, a doctor...
- And then you have Cassie.
- Our professional student.
Hey! I'm a lot younger than these two.
Don't forget it.
Not that you'd ever let us.
- So, Avery, where are you from?
- Peachtree City.
- No way. That's where Logan is from.
- Yeah.
No way.
Such a small world.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I'm surprised you two
didn't know each other.
I mean,
how many people live out there? Like, 500?
- Uh...
- Oh, I think...
- Forty thousand.
- Yeah.
Do your parents still live there?
Uh, well, my dad just retired,
and he's looking to downsize,
so I think he's gonna move to the city.
Mr. Morgan, were you thinking of retiring?
Cassie was saying something about that.
I'm thinking about it. Coming up
on 30 years with the company, so...
Thinking about it, but in all honesty,
if not work, then what, you know?
Mom? Maybe he doesn't want to.
Soph, tell us,
when are you heading back to Australia?
Well, actually...
I'm thinking about
opening my practice here.
That's amazing news! I can't believe
you two didn't spill the beans.
Ding, ding, ding. Late breaking news,
but, of course, we're very excited.
And proud.
Soph, that's amazing.
Thanks.
- This is great, Sophie.
- I'm just gonna clear...
- What are you doing?
- Logan, uh-uh.
- Sit right back down. Uh-uh.
- I can do it.
Absolutely not. You stay put.
- This is my house. You're my guest.
- Okay.
Leonard.
Oh. Oh. Yeah.
- Can you take mine?
- Why don't I give you a hand?
There we go.
- Mmm. Thanks, bartender.
- Of course, any time.
- Logan!
- Yeah.
Excuse me one second.
Hi.
Is it happening?
Is... Is what happening?
Oh. Okay.
Logan. Do you have a second to talk?
Yes. Um...
- I should probably go talk to Stan.
- Go. Go. Don't worry.
- Okay.
- I know.
All right.
Hey.
So, have you had time
to take a look at my project?
Yes, I have.
Excellent. Sorry to ruin your holiday.
Oh, no. No, no. Um, it's upstairs.
Why don't I just go grab it?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Hey.
What are you doing?
- Hey, Stan.
- Hi.
- Secret Santa time.
- Oh, it's fun.
- Oh, sweetheart...
- No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, no. Do not close that door. Do not...
Close it. Close the door. Close the door.
Logan, it is not what it looks like.
So you're not having an affair?
Well, it's a bit what it looks like.
But we have a plan.
- We do.
- Great.
The two of you have a plan.
That's good. Good for you. I'm going.
We are gonna tell everyone, Logan.
We are. Just... just not now, okay?
So we're gonna need you
to keep it under your hat.
No, no, no, no.
I have so much under my hat right now
that my skull is kind of concave.
- Okay?
- Logan. Logan. Do this for Cassie.
Yes?
Leonard, I did not expect this
from you, okay?
I did not expect it from you.
Marge, I could see it coming
from a mile away.
Why? You don't know me.
He doesn't know me.
Why would he say that?
- He doesn't know you like I do.
- I know, my love.
Does Erica even know
you speak Spanish?
Really, can't you see
I'm in a loveless marriage?
Everyone can see you're
in a loveless marriage. But you are old.
- That is just marriage at this point.
- You are not old.
Please, Logan,
just let us get through Christmas.
- We promise we'll tell. Please.
- Yes. We promise. We promise. Please.
Please.
Please.
- Okay. So here's what...
- Okay!
No! No, no, no.
For the rest of the evening,
we're going down there.
We're gonna pretend nothing happened.
And I don't want to see even a glance,
the slightest glimmer of a look
between the two of you
for the rest of the night.
- Yep.
- Are we clear?
- No drifting looks like that.
- Okay.
We're gonna... Eyes forward. Eyes forward.
Do we have an understanding?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Great.
- Now let's go play pretend. Shall we?
- Yep.
Thank you.
- We've got Margaret's.
- Thank you.
Leonard, yours is on the chair.
Did you give everybody their gifts?
- Oh, Logan. I've got your gift right here.
- Thank you so much.
All right.
Now does everybody have a gift?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Yes, we do.
- Soph, why don't you get us started?
- Okay.
Let's see. Hmm.
Oh, bath salts.
You can never have enough of these.
I got you those.
I thought those looked familiar.
Uh... Avery. Let's see you go next.
- Okay.
- Show us what you got.
Nice box.
- Oh. Uh...
- What is it?
- It's candy.
- Oh.
Callum, seems like a you gift.
You could've put a bit more thought
into that, son.
I didn't get that.
I swear. I actually got you, Mom.
You should open it.
Well, if you insist.
Okay. I do love Secret Santa.
- Especially when it's my turn.
- Never would've guessed it.
Oh, okay. Let's see. Oh, my goodness.
- Callum, that was a strong choice for Mom.
- Nice.
- What?
- What in the world?
- I didn't buy that.
- You sure? You just said you did.
No. No. Logan did.
- What?!
- Oh my God.
- Yes, I did.
- Wh... For my wife?
No. No. I bought it for your daughter.
Oh, this is mortifying.
- Sorry.
- Oh God.
- She did ask for it.
- Uh...
- Well...
- I'm so confused.
Callum, a word?
Yeah, actually, Callum,
I'd like a word too.
You know, I think it fits.
- Honey, put it in the box.
- Mom, it's mine.
Listen, you little hellion. We had a deal.
It's his fault.
Yes, that was an honest mistake.
It was a gross one, but a real one.
Hear me when I say,
if you expose this arrangement,
I won't hesitate to tell everyone
about your extracurricular activities.
You're a monster.
Hmm. Takes one to know one.
- Honey...
- You always think you know...
Who's this now?
Come in.
- Hello. Merry Christmas.
- Hi. Merry Christmas.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Ooh. Glad to be here.
- He's gonna be so surprised!
- Let's just...
Surprise!
- Oh! Huh?
- Surprise.
- Grandma. Mom. What're you doing here?
- I invited them.
- You did? That was so kind of you. Hi Mom.
- Hi.
Avery's here. Don't ask questions.
You do not know her.
Leonard. This is Erica. Welcome.
Avery, what the hell are you doing here?
Well, how do... How do you know her?
What? No, she doesn't.
She... she has dementia.
Well, she just called her name.
Give me a hug, you little shit. Come here.
Grandma, we shouldn't hug people
if we don't know them.
- Uh, Ida, how do you two know each other?
- Oh, well...
I... I don't remember.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- It's okay.
- Poor thing.
Oh, oh,
but I do remember catching these two
going at it like jackrabbits
in the back of your mother's car.
- I couldn't forget that if I tried.
- No, no, no. Ma, shh.
- What?
- Logan, what is she talking about?
Avery? Are you... Are you... Are you serious?
You two know each other?
Um. Okay. So...
Uh...
This is actually a funny story.
- If you think about it.
- Oh my God.
- Is it? Actually, it does sound hilarious.
- Okay.
- It sounds hilarious, actually.
- Let's take a beat, okay?
I'm sure it's not as strange as it seems.
Wanna bet?
All right. Yes. We dated.
But it was like a million years ago,
and we didn't want you to freak out.
- So we just...
- Lied?
Well, I wouldn't... Not lying, but...
Wow. Okay.
All right. Uh, that's it? Nothing else?
Anything else you wanna share?
That covers it?
Whoa.
Is there anything else you wanna tell me?
Um. What? No.
What's so funny, huh? Twerp.
- Nothing.
- Okay, look.
Avery wanted to tell you, but I didn't
because I thought it'd get weird.
That's not true. Logan wanted to tell you.
I thought it would get weird.
Well, it's definitely weird.
Spartacus! Spartacus!
Okay, lady, no people food.
She's still recovering.
Oops. No. No people food. Okay, come on.
Let's be real.
Everybody already thinks I'm a degenerate.
- This is too good to not watch.
- Callum, no!
Don't do it, man.
Veronica didn't eat the cookies, Mom.
Avery did.
Callum, that's impossible.
No one person
could have eaten all those cookies.
Well, they could if they were high.
- Pardon me?
- Okay, that I can explain.
- Who's getting high?
- That's not the point. Shut up.
Calm down, everyone. This is supposed
to be Cassie's special night.
- My special night?
- Yes, and they're all ruining it.
- Mom, what are you talking about?
- Logan was going to propose.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- No, no, no, not again. No.
No. No. Mom, no. No, I...
Cassie, I was not going to propose.
You weren't?
Not cool, Logan.
Oh, that's rich coming from you.
What do you mean
by "that's rich coming from him"?
Okay. I think...
I think we should go, Sophie.
Go get your jacket.
We'll get out of here 'cause it's getting...
Mom, what's going on?
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
Oh my God. You know.
You know?
Of course I know.
Know what?
Marge and Leonard are having an affair.
- What?!
- Daddy?
- What?!
- What?!
- It's fine.
- How can you say that?
He's happier and around less.
It's a win-win.
- Mom! How could you?
- Stan...
- Dad.
- Stan!
- Oh my God.
- Sophie, wait, please.
- Cassie?
- Av...
Erica.
I... I... I am so sorry.
Leonard, shut up. Okay?
Let's just go deal with our girl. Come on.
This is the best Christmas ever.
You're leaving?
I don't know. Should I be?
Did something happen with you and Sophie?
Right.
Avery, sweetheart.
Hi, Barb. Any word on the house?
I'm sorry, honey.
Well, it was worth a shot.
Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas.
Avery!
Leaving so soon?
I'm sorry. I'm... so sorry.
Yeah, me too.
Can I call you?
Logan?
No.
I think, uh...
I think we should talk.
I have joining me now
the one and only pet expert, Jill,
and she's gonna talk to us
about what to feed your pet for Christmas.
As most of our listeners know,
- I have a lot of pets living at my house.
- You do. I've been there.
They all get their own...
I'm coming.
Dad. Merry Christmas.
- Kiddo!
- Hey!
Wow, you look great. Look at that tan.
- Did you guys have fun?
- Yeah, yeah. We... we did.
You know, we slept in hammocks, uh...
swam with the dolphins,
danced on the beach.
We did it all.
That sounds fun.
Yeah, it was.
But, um, we did miss you, though.
Yeah, I missed you too.
So I heard you sold the house.
We did, yeah.
I mean, I was shocked
at how fast it happened.
But we were made an offer
which would be insane to refuse.
- I'm happy for you, Dad.
- Good.
What's this?
It's yours, if you want it.
Dad, are you serious?
You're gonna have to, you know, pay me.
I love you, but a man's gotta eat.
If you were... serious.
Oh, yes. Yes, please.
Thank you.
- Pleasure.
- Oh.
You know what, honey?
I just... I wish you would've told me.
I know. I know. I just...
I didn't want to put you on the spot.
I'm your dad. You're never gonna put me
on the spot, sweetheart.
You know,
I never should have trusted that Barb.
Oh, no, no, no. No.
Barb didn't tell me anything.
It sounds like
the two of you got yourselves
into a decent amount of trouble.
Milk?
He's one of the good ones, you know.
And I hope things work out for him.
Go away.
Oh, come on. Open up, please.
It's about Logan. You like Logan.
Don't you think this whole mean shtick's
getting kinda old?
I know you can see me.
Look, I'm a good person.
I know I made a couple mistakes.
But so did you. And so did Cam.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
You didn't deserve what happened to you.
All right, I'm gonna leave something here.
- And I need you to give it to Stan, okay?
- Ha!
Then I'll leave.
Just please, give it to Stan.
Oh,
and Erica, if you don't help me, I'll be
back every single day until you do. Bye.
Would you believe me now
If I told you I got caught up in a wave?
Almost gave it away
Would you hear me out
If I told you I was terrified for days?
Thought I was gonna break...
- Okay, bye.
- All righty.
Grandma, I love you. See you tomorrow.
I thought... I thought it was tomorrow.
Nope, that's tomorrow.
With everyone around me saying
"You must be so happy now"
Oh, keep reachin' out
Then I'll keep comin' back
'Cause if you're gone for good
Then I'm okay with that
If you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
Light on, light on, light on
And I am findin' out
There's just no other way
That I'm still dancin'
At the end of the day
If you leave the light on...
Eight, seven, six, five, four...
Three, two, one.
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year!
I'll leave the light on
Oh
Would you leave the light on?
Light on, light on
Oh, if you leave the light on
Then I'll leave the light on
Oh, if you leave the light on
Oh, here he is.
- Logan.
- Stan.
- You look surprised to see me.
- I'm not gonna lie. I am a little.
Well, have a seat.
Well,
Stan, I'm so glad you called us
because I think we can turn
this lifestyle complex
into something really special. You know?
Well, if I were to agree with you, Paul,
we would both be wrong.
Look, your proposal was fine.
It's just that I got five others
just like it.
I want to talk about these.
What are... what are these?
It's for a lifestyle community.
Yes, I like that.
Not just facilities,
but residential living,
the entire experience.
Now, this is what I want to do.
I don't wanna do
another construction project.
I wanna put together something
that this city can be proud of.
This is really great, you know, in theory.
But surely you would agree that we'd get
far greater yields with my concept.
Paul, I'm in my sixties, and to be frank,
I don't need more money.
Well, we don't really do residential.
You know?
Look, there are a ton
of construction companies out here
that can put together a vision.
I just need the guy with the vision.
And judging by this conversation,
I don't think that that's you.
But I think it's him.
Um...
I'm sorry,
I don't really know what to say.
Just say you're in.
Yeah, all right.
Oh, by the way, Erica said
to let Avery know about this too.
So that she'll stop coming by the house.
All right. Enjoy your meal.
- Speech!
- Speech!
- No, Dad, absolutely not. Dad. Dad!
- Speech!
- Speech!
- Speech!
- Speech! Speech! Speech!
- Speech!
From the new house owner.
Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming.
Um... I'm not really good at this.
- Oh, come on.
- So, I don't know what to say.
It's okay. I do.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- It's all right. Trust me, Mitch.
- No, no.
- Trust me. It's okay.
It's all right. I got this.
Okay.
Okay.
Um...
Avery, and everyone,
uh...
you know, there's really nothing
that I wish I could do more than
go back to that night and do better.
And I definitely speak
for several people when I say that.
Um...
As much as this Christmas
has been the stuff of my nightmares,
what with the drugs
and the lies and the blackmail...
...that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy,
I'd do it all again
because it brought me back to you.
And I've been able to see what a...
just a truly incredible woman
you've become.
And I know, I don't deserve this,
but a very wise man once told me
that he thought we had
what it took to go all the way.
So I'm hoping I could get a second chance
to see if we could maybe make that happen.
- Are you done?
- I can be.
I love you.
I love you too.
Be right back.
Hey.
- Hi. Merry Christmas, sweetie.
- Thank you.
Just thought we'd drop off
a little something for you guys.
Oh, thanks. Do you wanna come in?
Oh, no, I can't. We're headed to dinner
with the kids right now.
But tell Logan I said to enjoy his break.
January 4th, he's back on the clock.
I will. Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.
Avery!
Share 'em.
Let's go, my love.
When sounds of silver bells are ringing
And playing everywhere...
What was that about?
My little secret.
Can I have some of this, whatever that is?
- If you're nice to me.
- I'm always nice to you.
Define "always."
I booked our wedding venue today.
Does that count?
Oh, and all I wanna do
Oh, this Christmas
Is show that I'm in love with you
So make my special wish come true
All I wanna do
Oh, this Christmas...
Spread the holdiday good cheer
'Cause it's my favorite time of year
Oh, it's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas, oh
Heart's wrapped like a present
And it's coming home to you
Won't have to wait much longer
'Cause Santa's comin' soon
- Oh, when all is calm
- All is calm
- Oh, and all is bright
- All is bright
I'm gonna pull you under the mistletoe
And dance by firelight
Oh, and all I wanna do
Oh, this Christmas
This Christmas
Is show that I'm in love with you
So make my special wish come true
Oh, and all I wanna do
Oh, this Christmas
This Christmas
Is spread the holiday good cheer
'Cause it's my favorite time of year
Oh, it's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas
Oh, it's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas
It's Christmas, oh