Outlaws Don't Get Funerals (2019) Movie Script

I'm a dangerous man.
When I get hell-bent
on something,
I can be,
downright mean.
I get over zealous and,
I can be forgetful of others,
insensitive to their pain.
It's my experience that,
zeal is,
the most dangerous characteristic
a man can possess.
There's no talking to zeal.
Now, all I need to
do is get a name.
All you need to
do is give me one.
I have a way of doing things.
There's an order to it.
I used to ask questions first.
Before the nails, I mean.
I would ask, and they would lie,
then I'd have to nail
them to the table,
and start all over again
asking my questions.
I'm a busy man,
time is gold,
you understand.
So now, I always
start with the nails.
Pardon my grin.
Thanks for coming
to the house, bro.
Sit down.
CLARENCE: And these
children are beautiful.
I can't believe Mina.
LEVON: She's turning sixteen.
We're gonna have a big party.
No, no thanks.
You're not gonna like this.
You want me to take care of it?
No, you've done your part.
Let's get you paid my bro.
CLARENCE: How much
money are you keeping,
around the house these days?
Why, you looking to rob me?
It's just not safe.
I've told you that before.
Mother hen, always watchful.
Relax, this is collection night.
This all going back
to Norik's house.
sends his own people?
At the end of every week.
On a motorcycle, no less.
My nephew.
Very fast, very efficient.
Thank you for
everything, my friend.
Enough business,
let me show you
something very beautiful.
I have had this made,
for Mina for her
sixteenth birthday.
She's a very special girl.
I spared no expense.
Norik knows this
diamond guy in Burbank.
He's going to put
the center stone.
It's going back to
him for finishing.
How lovely.
Alright, home sweet home.
Wow, this is a nice place.
Really, you like it?
I wouldn't say, I
thought it was nice place,
if I didn't like it?
That's cool.
Did you like the band?
ROBIN: I did.
That's cool.
I like music.
Good for you, sweetie!
Music is the
language of the soul.
Let's go to your bedroom.
I need to pee.
WES: Oh, you do?
ROBIN: Yeah, I need to pee.
I'll be right back.
Take your clothes off, okay?
WES: Oh no, that's alright.
I can wait for...
I want you naked.
When I come back,
I want my boy waiting for me,
with nothing on but
a smile, you hear?
WES: Alright.
Across the living room.
WES: Hey, I-What the fuck.
Rad place.
Very pawnable.
Good job.
I wanna rob a bank.
It's hard work and
lots of planning,
if you wanna get it right.
First bank I ever
robbed was with my dad.
I was 17.
He did all the planning,
and carried the gun.
I just drove on the day.
We're kinda screwed
on cash here.
How much?
Do you want to
stay another night?
We can.
I say we fill up the tank,
and drive out to Flagstaff,
shake down some college kid.
They got Arizona U near there.
Business school kid
or something, maybe?
Oh, what's the
fun in having a gun,
if you can't rob a bank.
I feel ya.
It's in my blood.
Robbing banks, I mean.
My dad, his dad.
So, when you say you
wanna do one of them,
I think it's pretty
goddamn righteous.
Well let's do it then.
You know, ripping off
hipsters and frats boys is,
complete fucking drag.
Let's do something big.
Bonnie would have never stood
for this rinky dink shit.
And that's just how
you'll end up, too sweety.
Life's not a movie.
You sure?
It's got tragedy
written all over it.
It's a bank, it's
not a scared kid.
With a bank, you
don't plan it right,
if you're unlucky,
you can loose everything.
My father was killed in a bank
robbery, you know that right.
Okay forget banks, then.
How about a,
a poker game?
I've seen that in movies.
Some gangster with a poker game,
and we come through the
doors with shotguns.
And nobody can call
the cops because,
it's all illegal anyway.
And you know this gangster
with the poker game.
No but we can find one.
I mean we know
people we can ask.
Come on, you're not
thinking creatively.
There's money out there Fred.
So much of it.
And it's just sitting
in people's pockets.
Let's figure out
how we can take it.
You know my grandfather
was real creative.
He used to robbed banks and,
bars and restaurants, pharmacies,
whatever you name it.
He's famous.
In newspapers and everything.
Nuh uh.
Yeah he is.
Boe Carroll.
He killed a lady a
year before I was born.
He ran her over in his car,
leaving a smash and grab
actually at a car dealership.
They gave him life for that.
You're making it up.
I'm not.
Boe Carroll.
Grandpa Boe.
Look it up.
Look it up.
Boe Carroll.
A celebrity in the family.
Why haven't you
mentioned him before?
Not exactly something
most people are proud of.
They have internet.
FRED: Don't us it.
It's probably expensive as hell.
ROBIN: We'll put
it on the cards.
He sold robberies,
more than anything else.
Find a mark, stake
it out for years.
Seriously, years.
He'd figure out where the
entrance and the exit were,
and then pinpoint when the
place would be flush with cash.
And then, when the
time was right,
he'd either sell the job,
or if it was real special
he'd do it himself.
My dad actually
worked a lot with him.
They made a real
living doing it,
back in the day when you could
make a real living doing it.
Here he is!
Boe Carroll.
He's handsome.
He had my dad when
he was like nineteen,
so they were more like
brothers than anything else.
Fred, Freddie.
Grandpa's a free man.
There did a news story about it.
Bullshit they gave him life.
Released last October.
He's been out a year.
Intermediate life sentence.
Indeterminate life sentence.
I thought life in prison
meant life in prison.
Who decides how
long a life is?
Holy shit.
Boe, is that you?
Cause all I can
see is an old man.
It's me, Artie.
I'm in here somewhere.
C'mere, before I start crying.
When Ann died I traded
our house for this place,
and I never got around to,
exactly decorating.
Why'd you sell your house?
It was too much to maintain.
Too much room.
That was Ann's house, right?
The one on Glenoaks?
I took the cash from
the sale of the house,
for a little retirement.
Savings only go so far,
and God knows the government
only helps out so much.
That was her
parents house, no?
I mean she grew up there.
Situations change.
You know,
When I got all the paper
work for the parole board,
and I saw your address
wasn't Glenoaks,
I felt a chill.
Time goes by, Boe.
I don't have to tell you that.
Anyway, look,
this place is more
than enough for me,
and plenty of room for a guest.
You're more than welcome here.
I mean it.
I got to thank you
Artie, for taking me in.
What we been through, come on?
To be honest, it'll be
nice to have a friend,
to shoot the shit with.
By the way,
sorry about Ann.
Oh yeah well.
Everybody's gotta die right.
People we love gotta
die, we gotta die.
You feel sad about that you
gotta be sad about everything,
you know what I mean?
Look at the talk
I'm giving you.
Right out of jail
25 fucking years,
haven't seen each other in 10,
and this is the talk I'm giving
you right through the door.
It's alright, Artie.
Alright, alright.
You want to go on the tour?
See your room?
Oh would you mind
if I sit for a minute?
ARTIE: Yeah of
course, of course.
Eight hours from Susanville.
What a jerk I am.
Sit your ass on the couch.
Sit, relax. I'm gonna
turn the game on,
I was about to open
up a jar of olives.
Hey Boe, you want a beer?
A beer?
You got it.
Oh I see you found the olives.
Speaking of heaven.
You'll get your bearings.
You get on a
schedule, a routine.
Get a hobby.
Millions of channels on the TV.
Did you get TV in the
can at the end there?
Yeah some.
Well I'm gonna turn you
on to a lot of new programs.
You ever hear of Net flick?
Movies in the mail.
Oh, by the way,
you gotta see your
parole officer this week?
Yeah Monday.
ARTIE: What does he
expect you to do till then?
Well they gave me gate money,
the phone number for SSI.
25 years, they
put you on a bus,
goodbye, good luck?
You see a counselor in there?
Oh yeah.
Lots of swell advice.
Dirt bags.
Don't worry, pal. I'm
gonna take care of you,
and get you on your feet,
just the way you did for me.
What did I ever do for you?
What you loose your
memory, old timer.
You gave me my first
professional gig.
City of Industry.
I knew you wouldn't
have forgotten.
Wells Fargo.
It was the first and
only bank I ever took.
Up til then what was I doin,
knocking off liquor stores,
with a sawed-off and
a lot of hollering.
But you gave me that
plan for a song.
You remember, what was it?
Five hundred dollars
or something.
The timeline, the getaway plan,
the alarm box combo,
the whole enchilada.
You had me dress, what was it,
the blue overalls, and
the yellow hard hat,
cause there was a construction
site across the street.
The police come, they're
looking for the perp,
what do they see?
13 fuckers dressed the same way.
It was beautiful.
That was the most beautiful
thing I was ever involved in.
I walked away with
50,000 dollars.
50,000 dollars 1965.
Bought Ann's parent's house,
we bought that maid service.
Mickey was born that summer.
You got my whole life
going for 500 dollars.
I'll never forget you for that.
You're welcome Artie.
What does it say?
Go to bed.
Here we are.
It's a little sparse, but
you know we go to Ikea,
get you some nice stuff.
My grandson says this is
pretty comfortable, actually.
BOE: Can I come in?
Yeah sure, come on in.
You awake?
It's okay.
What do you need?
You got a car?
Yeah, yeah sure.
I got a car.
You want to go somewhere?
Ann's house.
Your place on Glenoaks.
Boe, I already told
you, it's gone.
BOE: What do you mean gone?
Someone else is livin there.
Some, I don't know,
Pakistani family.
I thought it could wait
a day, but it can't.
I got to go now.
Why do you have to
go to Ann's house?
I gotta get something.
Something I buried.
Something you buried?
Before I went away.
In the back yard,
behind the fence.
In '79?
How deep are we talkin?
You're still a
crazy motherfucker.
All those years
of good behavior,
you were just killing
time, weren't you?
What else you gonna
do in jail, Arthur?
I told you it'd still be there.
You buried it deep enough.
What you want to do,
get us both locked up?
No, not again.
Not ever.
What the fuck?
Let's get some sleep.
Fuck that.
You're showing me what's
in there, right now.
It's private, okay?
Not okay.
Open that thing.
You ever do any time Arthur?
What does that got
to do with anything?
No, you've never done a day.
Look I am aware,
that I've been very lucky
and you got fucked over.
You've never had
to take a shit,
in a room the size of a closet,
with another man watching you,
getting ready to
take a shit himself,
and you're gonna
have to watch him,
or at least smell it.
Cause sure you could turn away,
but you have to smell it.
Breath it.
Boe, you can't stay here,
if you don't show me
what's inside the box.
26 years I waited
to dig this up.
It's the only privacy I've
got left in the world.
It's all I've got
left to myself.
I mean 26 miserable
god damned years,
I spent every night
dreaming of this box.
It was out here, in the world,
buried where only I knew.
My ass may have belonged
to the state, but this box,
buried, locked, untouched.
This I could claim for myself.
You speak of good behavior,
oh there was lots of that.
Yes sir, no ma'am.
But the shameful
cocksuckery of that,
was made just about
barely endurable,
by being able to lay down
every night and dream,
of the one place on God's earth
I could still call my own.
you're my friend,
my only friend in the world,
but I cannot show you
what's in this box.
I will not.
What about your
parole officer,
you gonna show him?
Cause he's gonna come over,
he's gonna search
through your shit,
and he's gonna see
a steel cash box,
and believe me, I think he's
gonna want a peek inside.
During the day we'll
keep it in your room.
We'll lock it in your closet.
At night it stays with me.
What do you got in there?
Some teddy bear?
You wanna sleep with it?
Under the pillow
if comfort allows.
What am I gonna do with you?
Thanks for
understanding Arthur.
No I don't understand.
I'm giving in.
Sometimes that's what it takes.
So, what's your plan?
You got one?
ARTIE: You want butter?
You want a job?
I mean I'm not asking
because I need the money.
I'll feed you, that's
not the problem.
Listen, retirement's
a beautiful thing,
don't get me wrong.
It's just that,
you really gotta fill
your days, you know.
I figured that out
after Ann passed away.
Before that all I was
doing was walking around,
bored and drunk.
Had scotch at noon,
and then 10,
eight o' clock with breakfast.
Sounds a good idea to me.
Except it's not a good idea.
Especially when it stops
you from filling your days.
So, what's your plan?
I recon I'll follow your lead.
How do you spend a day?
It's a peaceful life.
See this old timer, here?
Guy across the
street, walking the dog.
It's connected.
To what?
Armenian mafia.
Or whatever they
call themselves.
They're always
hanging out in front.
Like a pack of dogs,
barking at each other,
barbecuing strange
meats at all hours.
They play poker right
on the front porch,
and the cops don't
even bother them.
Hollering like little
kids, fuckin nuisance.
Drive like assholes,
any speed they want.
You hear that motorcycle yet?
Oh yeah I heard that.
Middle of the fucking
night, revving his engine.
He stops at the same
house all the time.
Here he comes with his dog.
What kind of dog is that?
I don't know why
don't you ask him?
I was just joking.
BOE: Hello sir.
BOE: What kind of
dog do you got there?
This little gentleman
is a lhasaapso.
He's beautiful.
I thank you on his behalf.
What's your name, my friend?
Who's asking?
You look familiar to me.
We know each other?
Forgive me, I am Levon.
BOE: Friends call me Boe.
Boe the thief.
It is you.
You guys know each other?
We drank too much
ouzo one night,
at one of my
brother's restaurants.
He made him a lot of money.
His name was on my
brother's tongue.
You've been gone a long time,
haven't you my bro.
When did you come back to
the land of the living?
A week ago.
Welcome back my bro.
Shan tula!
I'm having you both for dinner.
No it's alright, we
wouldn't want to impose.
I insist.
My wife, she makes
enough food for an army.
Do you like lamb?
ARTIE: That's alright, I
got a chicken in the oven.
I love lamb.
It is settled.
We are having lamb,
drinking ouzo,
and reminiscing
about the old days.
Let me finish up with
the doggie business,
I come back okay.
Don't go anywhere.
Hang up, I'll walk with you.
Sorry to wake ya.
How was dinner?
That is a lovely family.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Two little boys.
A lovely,
girl of 15.
That's nice.
My chicken is in the oven.
You eat?
Oh yeah, lots.
Wife's name's Nora.
Hell of a cook.
Good lamb?
And how.
Lots of spice,
they cook it real
fast on a high flame.
Must be some kind of marinade.
Yeah must be.
Fine house.
Big back yard.
Bunch of room for
kids to run and play.
He's also got a little
office down stairs.
Lots of privacy, got his
own entrance and a patio.
Levon took me out
there after dinner.
Smokes, cigars.
He's a proud man.
A man of power,
some might say.
I'd say, careless.
I mean, take a strange
dog like me into his home?
Let me loose around
those little kids?
What else is he careless with?
I mean, did he leave it out
there in the open on purpose?
Was I meant to see it?
Is he just that stupid?
See what?
A bag.
A big bag.
It was zipped tight,
but it didn't take
much imagination,
to figure what was inside.
Shapes, Artie.
There are certain shapes
a man in my line of work,
will recognize, bagged or no,
26 years away or no.
It had to be cash.
I could smell it.
20 grand at least in there,
even if it was all
singles, which I doubt.
There was guns too on top.
I could see them.
No safe, just a bag,
out there, in the
middle of the desk.
Quite a conversation piece,
except I didn't make peep one.
I could go in the
back with a shotgun.
If that old gangster
got in my way,
or any of those brat
offspring of his,
or that fat cunny
of a wife of his?
I'd blast their
goddamn faces off.
Oh my God, that'd
be the real prize.
To be myself once again.
Go in like a wolf one last time.
Raging fangs and claws.
Come out with all that cash.
Covered in blood,
pockets full of dough.
That old time feeling.
Is it wrong to still dream?
I'll tell you straight, Artie,
just between you and me.
That girl I killed,
on the job they
sent me away for?
I'd kill her a
thousand times over.
When I went up in front
of the parole board,
they asked me,
what I'd have done
different with my life?
How I would have
lived it better?
I told them what
they wanted to hear.
The truth is,
I'd have been worse.
Much worse.
You hear this Artie?
You hear it?
Levon and his bag!
It's an old fashioned pickup.
On a motorcycle, no less.
All you'd need is a pistol,
a mask, good escape route,
and a little nerve.
ARTIE: Oh, shit.
What's the matter?
ARTIE: I can't get the
Chrysler building right.
BOE: Looks like
New York to me.
How's your crossword puzzle?
Nearly done.
ARTIE: Good.
You want eggplant for dinner?
BOE: Sure.
Hey Boe, I left a
half a turkey sandwich,
for ya in the kitchen.
I'll see ya tomorrow.
You never seen that picture?
Well it's fabulous.
Glen Ford plays this bad guy,
turns out to be this
charming son of a bitch.
it's a classic.
We'll get it from the Net flick.
Yeah hello.
Yeah this is Artie Twine.
Whose this?
Yeah one sec.
Says he's your grandson.
You got a grandson?
How'd he find me?
How'd you get my number?
He says he gave his
I.D. to the prison,
and they gave him my info.
What does he want?
Yeah, this is he.
And you're Frank's son right?
Yeah, that was my father's name.
I hope you've had better
luck with it than he did.
So what's going on?
What a cute couple hey.
How you doin?
FRED: Mr. Twine?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not Mr. Twine.
It's Artie, Artie.
Come on, come on, come on in.
Boe's washing up.
It smells delicious in here.
Oh thank you, dear.
Uh, Artie, this
is my fiancee Robin.
Oh hello fiance Robin.
Thanks a million
for having us.
ARTIE: Oh please please,
come on, we're gonna have
a fabulous dinner here.
Dad always had
some scam going.
There was a Christmas eve I was,
eight or nine, he had
me with him selling,
a truck load of televisions.
I helped him load
it and everything.
Got a little Schwarzenegger
here, lifting televisions.
They were actually just boxes.
The thing of it was he had
all these brand new boxes but,
we didn't have any televisions.
Where'd you get the boxes?
He raided the dumpster of
news station, in Studio City.
Apparently he'd been
eyeing the place,
to nab it for some equipment,
but it was like a fortress,
there was cameras
everywhere and shit.
One day though, he
sees they're dumping,
all these brand new boxes,
and he gets an idea.
That's so cool.
He must have been broke,
because looking back on it now,
it was a hell of a risk.
We hooked up with this
guy in Orange County.
Dad shows him the
truck full of boxes,
everything's on the up and up.
We put cinder blocks in
the ones along the outside,
so the weight felt right,
and in one we put our own TV
from the goddamn living room.
It wasn't even the same
model as the one on the box,
but we polished it
like it was brand new,
and it was passable.
Dad opens the box,
gives the guy a peek,
some bullshit about
how it's Christmas Eve,
and he's got his kid with him,
and if we could make this fast.
I mean if the guy had
looked into one more box,
the game would have been
over for the both of us,
but fuck if he had met
his asking price in cash,
and thanked us for the bargain.
That takes some balls.
Huh, Boe?
Cute little Freddie.
Were you scared?
Nah, it was great.
Mom picked us up afterwards,
and we went to Denny's,
and then after that
we went to K-Mart.
I got like twenty Ninja
Turtle action figures.
He was a good guy.
I know it sounds bad,
takin his kid with him
to do shady things but,
he was just trying to
give me a good Christmas.
He only ever knew one way
of doing things, you know?
It was cops killed him?
During or coming out?
Coming out.
In the parking lot.
Who shot first?
I don't know.
They say he did.
He kill anyone?
One cop, yeah.
Everyone through picking, or
should we have some dessert?
Artie, this cake is dreamy.
Use the whole can of
frosting, it is a special night.
Aren't you just
the cutest thing?
Little old me?
You have a great
energy about you,
Artie, I mean it.
What did you do
before you retired?
Armed robbery.
I didn't keep the original
when it was in the paper but,
Robin went on the
internet and printed it.
It was in the Tribune.
My mom's family
is in Illinois so,
when she got sick,
I went out there with her.
Dreary goddamn
place if you ask me,
but the banks are plenty
warm and welcoming.
How much you run off with?
Not enough.
Well, no shortage
of banks in L.A.
No, but people change.
They get smarter.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Look the point is,
if I'm putting you in a
strange spot just by asking,
you say so, I'll keep
my mouth shut about it.
You got my word on that okay.
The girl and I are
looking for a job.
The girl?
It's her idea, practically.
She's the outlaw type.
Any dip-shit with a gun
can go into a liquor store,
but there's a way to do things,
and there's a way to do things.
So I guess what I'm asking is,
you got any bright
ideas, grandpa?
Oh my.
Do you believe in God?
Cake time!
I hear gunfire.
I'll know it went bad.
Artie, you going to bed?
You hear that?
Why you sitting over
there by the window?
I'm not.
I'm going to bed.
What the fuck?
You hear that
commotion last night?
Yeah, helicopters,
sirens all that shit.
Something went down.
I think it was your
little friend Levon.
My little friend?
Yeah Levon, across the street.
I went out for the
newspaper this morning,
and he's gotta bunch of
gangster buddies on his lawn.
I think he's gathered
himself a posse.
You want some cheese?
That was the back door.
I'll get it.
Ah it's the kids.
Is everything alright?
No, can we come in?
What did I say about gunfire?
They started it.
Okay I'm just gonna
take a little look.
It's bleeding less
than it was last night.
The bullet wasn't that deep.
I took it out with tweezers.
How much have you had
to drink, sweetheart?
I don't know.
It hurts.
Okay, no more, no more.
The kid on the
bike pulled a gun?
FRED: No there was
someone else was there.
Someone else?
I watched that drop
every week for a year.
Well, someone else
was watching it too,
and you missed it. We
had the loot ready to go,
and some nigger
comes out of nowhere,
with a fucking gun,
blasting shit up.
Don't call him that.
He shot you!
It doesn't matter.
A nigger?
I tried unloaded on
him, but it was dark.
Robin took the guy on the
bike out with the shotgun,
I just threw her over my
shoulder and got out of there.
With the loot.
That's right, baby.
With the loot.
We need to get
her to a hospital.
No, Artie.
You've got to, honey.
We gotta call an ambulance, now.
She goes to the hospital,
she's going to jail.
No hospital.
I've been trying to
take her all night.
She doesn't want to go.
We gotta force her.
The bullet's out.
She stops bleeding
maybe she'll get better.
What if it doesn't
stop bleeding?
What if you didn't
get the whole bullet?
I could sew her up.
I've done it before.
She could be bleeding inside.
She could have a heart attack,
drop dead.
We gotta call an ambulance now.
She doesn't want it,
and I don't blame her.
It's asking to get locked up.
She doesn't know
the trouble she's in.
She could have an infection,
she could go into septic shock.
Well, you got
antibiotics, right?
From when you had
walking pneumonia.
We'll give them to her,
and I could sew her up proper.
I've done it before.
If she's looking worse tomorrow,
we convince her into
going to emergency.
I mean come on,
I've seen guys pull back
from way worse than this.
So how does that sound
to you, young lady?
How'd your wife die?
In her tits.
Same with my mom.
Your father had a taste
for that shit, too.
And I can also get out
of hand with the booze.
It kind of runs in
the family I guess.
I swear to god,
I'm gonna shoot that
motherfucker's dick off.
The black motherfucker
in the suit.
Comes out of the
shadows, guns blazing?
What kind of fucking evil,
bushwhacking shit is that?
Yeah rough break.
Who the fuck are you?
Easy does it friend.
What the fuck?
MAN: Everything
okay in there?
All good.
Just hang loose out in front.
MAN: Have fun.
That's my partner
out in front.
I'm a police officer.
Police officer.
CLARENCE: That's right.
How did you get in here?
The door was open.
You just can't come in here.
- Well sure I can.
- I want you out of here now.
No thank you.
I have a few
questions to ask you.
I don't give a
fuck what you want.
I want you out of here now!
In fact, I'm callin
the real police.
Get the girl.
We know whose livin
here with you.
And we know his abilities.
Now, my boss wants
to know three things.
And if you tell me
these three things,
these nails will be
the worst of your pain.
They just come right out.
One, where's the loot?
where's the masked
young men who took it?
where's the old dog
that planned it?
Just like that.
My turn to talk?
This is your time.
Okay, alright.
I'm gonna come clean.
What choice do I have, right?
I just want some peace.
I just want to go back
to my boring life.
Watching TV, cooking,
doing my paintings.
I've got no more fight in me.
Forgive me.
I'm gonna tell you everything.
You know Magilla Gorilla?
The cartoon gorilla.
Me and him robbed your boss.
Magilla he wanted the money.
I mean all those,
little hats he wears,
they're very expensive.
We didn't want anybody
hurt you know but,
he just went bananas.
I'll never forget him.
His face.
Yeah, black, you said.
Did I ever say what I'll
do if I ever see him again?
Shoot him in the cock.
You said that, too.
Shoot his cock off.
Get the shovel,
and get in the car.
We'll stash the loot
and get back to Arthur.
We're just gonna
leave her here?
You want to stay?
No, I want to wait.
I want to say something.
Goodbye or something.
She was my sweetheart.
She was a good girl.
She doesn't deserve this.
This is no kind of funeral.
That girl was an outlaw.
Outlaws don't get funerals.
They get buried.
You're the real
deal, you know that?
I haven't used the
drill since 1999.
Ain't I lucky?
Should I gag ya?
You want me to tell
you how to do your job?
This is your last chance,
to give me the
information that I want.
I wouldn't even give
you my shoe size.
Forgive me God.
God, huh?
Whoever the fuck is listening.
How in fuck do
you know anyone is?
He's not here.
Where would he have gone?
Nest of goddamn rats.
Every Armenian gun in Glendale,
assembled on their
master's lawn.
We shouldn't be here.
- No.
- And where the fuck is Artie?
He sponges up all
of Robin's blood,
and then dips into
a fucking matinee?
What's this?
Is that a hole?
What the fuck is that?
That's Artie.
They got him.
FRED: What do you mean they
got him? Someone was in here?
Someone bad.
But no worse than
me, I'll wager.
Where you going?
Free will is a veil.
FRED: What?
A veil.
Man moves, a train on his track.
And into the station I roll.
Do you know how my father died?
- Your great grandfather?
- I don't want to know.
Save it, will ya?
Let's just say,
it wasn't old age.
She was buried 26 years.
I was worried she
wouldn't function.
But I greased her up good,
I took her out to the desert,
and she purred like a kitten.
What are you doin?
Giving you a chance,
to keep going a little longer.
And have myself a
little fun before I go.
Where are you going?
Across the street.
I recon a showdown with those
gangsters outta do the trick.
If I've got to eat lead,
I'll do it at sunset, thank you.
I've always found twilight,
the most peaceful time of day.
Listen to me,
getting all poetic.
When you hear me
getting started,
high tail it out the back.
You still got your mask?
Put it on.
They haven't seen your face yet.
Go easy on yourself, kid.
Hey, Boe.
You grinning?
Put your hands up.
Easy friend.
FRED: Hands.
Are you the one I tagged,
with the mask?
FRED: Turn around.
Or was it your
friend that I hit?
FRED: Around.
Okay, okay,
I'll turn around,
we're just chatting, yeah?
FRED: Yeah.
Let's chat.
You and me.
I was a dangerous man.
More than mean,
I was heartless.
We read about Saul, watching
the stoning of Saint Stephen,
approving of his killing.
I'm here to tell you, folks,
I did more than approve.
In Acts we read,
about the great prophet
of Damascus, Ananias.
He's visited by Christ,
and told to go out to the
street called Straight,
and visit the blinded
Saul, and lay hands on him.
Heel him.
And Ananias says to Christ,
"This piece of work is
"the one you want to be heeled?
"This criminal?"
And how does God answer?
"Don't you worry one bit.
"This criminal was
chosen as an instrument
"to proclaim my word to
the people of Israel.
"Just watch and see,
"how he's willing to
suffer for my name."
We do a prison ministry
every other month,
at Ironwood, in Blythe.
They love your book in there.
Oh well that's great to hear.
Those guys need it.
Every Christian
inmate has got a copy.
And even some of
the secular ones.
CLARENCE: I tend to think,
they're only reading
the first half.
That's got all the
good parts, does it?
All the action.
Well it's great meeting you.
Seriously thank you so much.
Thanks so much.
My pleasure.
Thank you, God bless.
Thank you, thank God.
Clarence dude.
- Awesome talk man.
- Father Zach.
Thank you so much brother.
Clarence this is my
really good friend,
Beth Conner.
Beth Conner. Well it's
a pleasure to meet you.
It's so nice to
meet you, Mr. Deville.
I really enjoyed that.
That hour just flew by.
It really hit home for Beth.
She read your book also.
I felt like I was
reading about my husband.
That anger, that sadness.
I couldn't put it down.
You home?
You just get up?
I didn't expect
you back so early.
I had to get up and
hit the road early.
I had to get out
of that shit hole.
You make the sale?
Yeah we closed.
We basically closed Wednesday.
I mean you know how it is,
I gotta go around and hold
these fucking guys hand,
through every little
element of this thing.
It's such a nightmare.
I'm gettin a beer.
BETH: Welcome home.
I want a nap.
I haven't slept all night.
BETH: How long of a nap?
Anyone's guess.
Are you gonna
be up for dinner?
Sure, maybe, why?
Zach's coming over.
In that case, call
me Rip Van Winkle.
It's important you be
at this dinner, Frank.
Why, he's over
here every week.
He's practically
in love with you.
BETH: He's my best
friend, and he's a priest.
Anyway, I think he might be gay.
Father Zach's gay?
I don't know.
I just never felt
that tension with him.
And he's not the only
one coming for dinner.
Who else?
You remember that book I
tried to get you to read?
About the gangster
who found Jesus?
What's up?
How's it going, your holiness?
Good, this is for you.
Thank you.
Oh that's nice.
How was Mass?
Is Frank here?
He's getting dressed.
Have you had enough
red wine yet today?
Clarence said he'll
be here around seven.
This is gonna be fun.
I don't know if fun
is the word I'd use.
You're not drinking?
Not tonight.
FRED: Babe, you
seen my nice shoes?
The black ones?
Oh, hey, Father Zach.
What's up, Frank.
How are you?
Good how are you?
Good, good.
Where's the uniform?
It's the weekend.
Priests are allowed
to wear polos?
You know believe it or not,
I've actually own
a bathing suit.
Ha, have to see
it to believe it.
He's been over
here swimming before.
Hey he just kind
of looks funny,
without his uniform I think.
I think this is normal.
To me he looks weird,
when he's wearing his
collar and vestments.
Oh well it's good to know,
that no matter what I wear,
someone thinks I look weird.
Just buggin you, Father.
It's good to see you.
It's good to see
you too, Frank.
Thanks for having us over.
Yeah, well.
Beth is pumped about me
meeting this gangster-dude.
Please don't let that
be the first thing,
you bring up when he gets here.
It's fine Beth, I mean,
he's not shy.
You can talk about
anything you want.
I'm sure he'd be happy to
discuss how far he's come.
- Great should be fun.
- ZACH: That's what I said.
Babe, shoes?
Hall closet.
You look handsome.
Thank you for waking up.
Thank you, will you
pour me a glass of wine?
When the mood sets us right.
You know I'm doing my thing,
and she's doing her thing.
And she's looking the
way that she does.
Christ Father,
there's no fucking thing in
the world better than that.
It's like heaven.
Beth is very beautiful.
Inside and out.
And you never?
He's here.
You're a stronger
man than I am, Father.
Just different paths, Frank.
Just different paths.
BETH: Hello welcome.
Oh, fuck.
- What is going on?
- Hey.
Where'd you go?
FRED: That's the guy?
Yeah what why?
FRED: You didn't
tell me he was black.
So now you're racist?
FRED: How does he know us?
I already told you.
What are you talking about?
Hey now.
Clarence Deville.
Frank Conner.
You have a lovely
garage, Frank Conner.
Thank you.
What's going on?
I forgot I had them on.
We're in the middle
of a drought.
Well, Clarence, I
hope you're hungry.
We got a lot of food.
Come on let's do this.
And then I felt this warm,
it was like sunlight.
And it was all
over my hands and,
in my face and my forehead.
At first it was pleasant.
But then it got hot.
You know like a fever.
Then I looked down at my victim,
and he was glowing.
I mean glowing.
I mean he had like the
big white light on him,
like on the Broadway show,
and like he doing it solo.
Then I looked up and
the ceiling was gone.
blackness, space.
And then I saw,
the stars.
I just got the chills.
And there he was.
Standing on top of nothing.
And his eyes was full of tears.
Jesus of Nazareth.
Then what happened?
You realized you're naked,
and the big test is the next
day and you forgot to study?
BETH: Frank, stop it.
No it's okay.
It's okay.
I mean funny is funny.
No but this was no dream.
Everything's a
dream, Clarence.
Let me ask you this.
The crime that you
were committing,
when you met your
Lord and savior.
What was the crime?
That is not important.
It isn't?
No, no, it is.
It's just not appropriate
for the dinner table.
We don't mind.
It's okay Clarence.
If you're uncomfortable,
you really don't have to.
Oh that's okay, I'm fine.
As a criminal, my
area of expertise,
was gathering information.
And I would hurt people in
order to get that information.
I would ask them
about locations and,
people, and so forth.
I was the muscle.
So you were beating a guy up?
Was he tied down?
He was.
Well that's not very fair.
I wasn't interested
in being fair.
FRED: You use your fists?
FRED: That time.
The time that you saw god,
were you using your fists?
CLARENCE: No I wasn't
using my fists when I saw God.
What were you using?
A drill.
You guys just don't want
to hear the list of things,
that I used as weapons.
How about a hammer and nails?
FRED: This time?
So there you are,
crucifying this poor fuck,
and you see Jesus.
That really is
something, Clarence.
Yeah it's,
quite incredible.
Thank you, kindly.
Nice and cold.
Your wife is some cook.
Sure is.
You're blessed.
Don't you know it?
I don't deserve her,
if that's what you mean.
Well, she really loves you.
How can you tell?
Way she talks about you,
looks at you.
You're the center of that
beautiful woman's world,
you know that?
You got a woman?
sorry about how things
went down at the table.
I have this thing, I try
to be the class clown.
Ah that's alright brother.
I got a sense of humor,
and I know how I can
sound totally bonkers.
If you don't mind
me being honest,
or taking a little
honesty from a stranger,
I would like to confess
to a few things.
Sounds interesting,
let's hear it.
Well the thing is,
I just don't get a
chance to face my crimes.
You know the priest and
the ladies of the church,
the believers?
They tend to be easy on me.
I just want to thank you, Frank.
Pride before destruction.
And boy oh boy,
when I'm reminded,
of all the people that I hurt.
Just a couple of bad
guys sitting by the pool.
Do you think I should bring
them a drink or something?
No leave them.
You've got dishes to dry, missy.
You look good in
front of the sink.
All domestic.
It's a shame.
They have sinks
at the rectory.
I know they're like
brother and sister, but,
I don't like it.
I can't help it.
Well if you ask
for my opinion,
I don't think you've got
anything to worry about.
Yeah you're right,
he's probably gay?
No I meant that
Zach is the real deal.
He's a true priest.
Yeah, but they don't
cut your dick off,
when you get your
collar, Clarence.
Drink up.
Well you're not
supposed to chug it.
Do you believe in God?
You know, I don't
really think about it.
My grandfather told me,
free will is a veil.
I don't know, maybe the
old fucker was right.
Maybe I do believe.
Some coincidences are
just a little too big.
Like which ones?
You two chatterboxes
ready for dessert?
The key for me is Job.
God inflicts every sort
of misfortune on Job.
He takes his wife, his kids,
his livelihood, his health.
And still, with no
explanations for his suffering,
Job remains faithful.
He does not curse his creator.
And they tell him
he's being punished.
Think, what is it that you
did to make God so angry?
What is it,
that cause so much misery.
And Job insists that
he did no wrong.
And when God himself showed up,
Job asks him, what was it?
What was the point
of all this misery?
And God gives his famous speech:
Where were you when I,
made the oceans and
filled them with water?
The skies with stars?
Where were you when
I made the spider,
and the birds?
It's normally read as
don't question God.
But I take it differently.
When Job asks God, why me,
He didn't say,
because I said so,
He says something more like:
look at this mess I've made,
as big as you could imagine,
and as small as you can imagine.
And even I can't keep track.
Well, young people, this
old man got to get to bed.
BETH: Oh, no!
You sure?
Well I hate to break
up such a good time.
I really enjoyed it.
You've been a fine
audience, very kind,
but this body isn't as
resilient as it used to be,
and I've got a trek back to
Babylon tomorrow morning.
FRED: Where are
you staying tonight?
A hotel.
I'll drive you.
Nonsense, I can go
ahead and call a car.
Yeah right, I'll take you.
FRED: Stay here.
Oh, no, thanks though.
Well you're already relaxed.
You can stay in the guest room?
That would be totally fine,
if you wanted to do that.
No well, you know I got
my clothes back in the room.
I have yet to pack.
I got to get going.
We were having such a
good conversation, Clarence.
That's true,
and I appreciate it.
I definitely will be
back for that barbecue.
Let me make you
a bag of leftovers?
There is so much
leftover chicken.
No, that's okay.
But I appreciate it.
Okay, Well thank
you again for coming.
And we had so much
fun, didn't we Frankie?
Yeah so much fun. You
sure you have to go?
Man, look don't make me,
stand here all
night and apologize.
Okay well,
thank you again, for coming.
It was so much fun as always.
Let me take you
back to the hotel.
- No, I'm fine.
- Come on, I don't mind.
- I'll drive you back.
- Well it's on my way.
If he wants to take
him, let him take him.
There's something I want,
to ask your advice
about anyway, Clarence.
I'll drive you
back to the hotel,
we can have a
conversation, man to man,
a little chat.
What do you think?
I liked what you
were saying about Job,
and God not knowing shit.
And it fits with me, you know?
I've never read a
bible or nothing,
but I've seen a lot
of movies on Jesus.
What was it that he
said on the cross?
why have you forgotten me?
Forgotten me?
Forsaken, that's right.
Father, why have
you forsaken me?
Even his own son too.
Yeah it is an
incredible story.
More than a story though,
to you, I mean?
You're a believer, right.
I am.
Excuse me.
You're a sleepy believer, huh?
Yeah I guess
it's just old age.
After eight o' clock
I'm sleepy as a dog.
Go ahead and rest your eyes.
You've got twenty
minutes til we get there.
I'll wake you up when
we get to the hotel.
There was something you
wanted to ask me? Something.
No, I just felt like
going for a drive.
must have fell asleep.
You did.
Are we at the hotel?
What is this?
Where are we?
You know I almost
thought you knew.
You're just so goddamn
genuine, Clarence.
I almost starting
laughing when I listened,
to you go on about Artie
and his sense of humor.
Arthur Twine.
The man you crucified
the night you met God.
I never said his name.
No, you didn't.
Frank, what is happening man?
Where you going with this?
My name's Fred.
Fred Carroll.
My grandfather's Boe Carroll.
I don't want you to be scared.
And I know it's scary
just saying that,
but I mean it, you have
nothing to be afraid of.
Open the glove box.
- What's in there?
- Nothing to be afraid of.
Just open the glove box.
A gun?
Your gun.
Do you recognize it?
Many guns look the same.
The satchel.
Take a look inside.
Oh God.
Let's just try to stay calm.
My heart is pounding.
Let's handle this
like gentlemen.
Like Christians.
It kind of feels like
an old samurai movie.
Like a western.
Two gunslingers,
with a blood feud between them,
and only one way to settle it.
Don't do this man, I beg you.
FRED: You know if it was me,
you killed that night
instead of Robin,
she'd have shot you by the pool.
The gun is loaded.
Turn around.
FRED: Why, what
are you gonna do?
Turn around.
I forgive you man.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
Don't you hear me?
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
Oh, hi.
FRED: Hey.
How was your ride?
FRED: So good.
FRED: I love you.
I love you.
FRED: I'm gonna
be good for you.
I'm gonna be good.
Oh, baby, you are good.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.