Paparazzi (1998) Movie Script

I can't hear...
Can't hear you, Xavier.
I'll call you back.
I'll call back.
- Coming to lunch?
- Later.
Hang on, hang on...
Where'd he go?
Up there.
I got the maid and...
what's her name?
Mondo cool.
Nobody left.
A photo-op for House and Garden.
Call you back, Xavier.
Come on,
give Guillaume a peck.
Hey, buddy!
You fucked up good.
Could've cost me my job.
So give me back my thousand.
Nice tip. Your Sri Lankan babe.
- You owe me 1,000.
- Nice, thanks.
Get over to Adjani's.
10 days I been there. It's dead.
Right. She's got a new guy is all.
Get over there and stay put.
Where are you?
Call you back.
Hey, watch it!
- Sorry for doing my job.
- Yeah, right.
Who's this jackass?
You're smart - shoot the stands!
Stick to your millionaires
playing bally-wally.
I just made 200,000 F.
Have a good night.
How's it going with Adjani?
Hang on.
He upstairs?
- Hey, Michel.
- Hey.
Otherwise, I'll go myself...
OK, bye.
Can't pick up a phone? I waited.
I'm not much on phones.
No, I'm going to deadline.
Call me later. Bye.
Julie! Tomorrow night at 9.
Gnocchi, like last time. Love it.
This one, but the guy's up front.
Who is that asshole?
Some asshole.
Guy practically caused
a stadium collapse.
Robert, this the cover or what?
I can shop it.
What's going on?
We got our cover.
- Who's that?
- Ever watch TV?
No, the guy standing up.
Who gives a fuck?
So there's a dwarf.
- I can delete him.
- Do it.
Yeah, it sucks.
Where's the other two?
Hell, leave him on the cover.
So he sues. What'll it run ya?
This guy, worst case, 100,000
Him 50, and her, what? 40?
40? Get out of here. 20 tops.
A 170,000 F cover.
Not half your budget.
Do a spyglass effect here.
Yeah, great.
And circle his hand in red,
like he's feeling her ass. Sex it up.
Michel, see you a sec?
Lookin' good.
50 plus 50 cash up front.
What? That's two bills.
200,000? He's a TV star,
not Marlon Brando.
And Brando's only 2
with his balls out.
A hundred plus 50 cash. Deal?
Blow up the kiss,
you lose the feel.
- Still the cover?
- Of course!
- The guy?
- Fuck the guy.
Yeah, fuck the guy.
So, friend,
how was the game?
What game, sir?
Not a great TV in there.
For glancing at, it's fine.
That Marco Simone goal? He great?
Great. I went wild.
I could tell.
You look happy, Bordoni.
You're photogenic.
I got mid-field seats.
You just can't say no.
Right. Can't say no.
Meantime, this place explodes.
Another Chernobyl.
I was here at 11.
Go pick up your check.
Hi, Mrs. Bordoni here.
I'm leaving for work. I was worried.
Did my husband...
That you?
I was worried sick. It's almost 8.
What is it, hon?
I open the gate, the car stops.
He waves me over, I come over.
Frank, I got a 9 o'clock wax.
He says, "How was the game?"
So we're talking soccer.
Then he slips it in.
"So, friend..."
"So, friend" what?
I got an hour on the subway.
I'm off nights.
Oh, that's great! We'll sleep
together again, like before.
- When do you start?
- Start what?
You're on days. Same pay?
Maybe a bit less.
Don't sweat it. Times like these,
long as you got a job.
You can't speak to the editor.
Hold on.
Guess What, please hold.
No, I'll transfer you
to our legal department.
I'll just take your name.
Bastards! You got no right
to fuck up people's lives!
- The editor!
- Can't stay here.
Move me, dickhead!
He's upset. Better move away.
Where's this get you?
No place.
No place.
Why these fucking pictures?
My wife's an actress,
so she's a whore?!
That it, you cocksuckers?
I got a little photo problem, too.
I know she fucks around.
I don't need pictures!
I warned you.
No fucking around.
I see his point.
Your clients get no press, they die.
Her last movie, we saw her ass.
Two months ago, she did a cover
for People, Elle, Time!
We've seen her house, her pool,
her dogs. We've seen it all.
Counselor, that is pertinent.
What's the problem?
Abortion is legal.
Plus, she looks fabulous.
So tell her abortion
is publicity, too.
Don't bust my chops with Lady Di.
People still buy my magazine.
Money and glory.
You can't have everything.
So let them sue, fuck it.
It's budgeted, I already won.
Recognize me?
Frank Bordoni, night watchman.
Don't need one.
Not that... This.
That's me.
Oh, right.
It is you.
I wasn't at work. I got fired.
Lousy break.
Who's R. R?
R. R?
The photographer. R.R.
I want to meet him. He got me fired.
I'm unemployed now. Who's R. R?
Ronald Reagan?
What's this MC Watson crap?
Go to Miami for only 50,000?!
- And get decked by a boxer?
- Never killed anyone.
- Raped a 15-yr. -old.
- She looked 20.
Get a picture of that.
Attack on freedom of the press.
How about your kid's birthday?
You think you're hot shit.
Red hot shit. It's tiresome.
What would you do
to this R.R. Guy?
The man wants to know
who took this.
It cost him his job.
- And you have debts?
- Yeah, I'm building a house.
What would you do to him?
Beat him senseless.
If he was two heads taller?
Go for his balls. He can't have 4.
Why all the questions? You the guy?
No way.
Help him out.
It's a human tragedy.
You came to the right guy.
He'll help you.
What's this?
Neighbor called. Wants 1,000 F.
Got my address?
Up here. Burned in.
Adjani wrapped up?
What? Where are you?
Well get out of bed!
A 104-fever is fine. Up to 107.
Get over to Tartine et Chocolat.
I can't get near it. They know me.
Will you help?
I'm no star, I'm innocent.
You know R. R? Who is he?
Want to make 1,000 F?
On the cover, Yasmine showed me.
Well, all you see is him!
Call Mom. And Jean-Luc.
No, he probably doesn't even know.
They'll be jealous at work.
OK, me too.
Your customer's here.
Be right there, Mrs. Casalis.
This is Mrs. Bordoni.
Can I speak to my husband?
Be right with you...
My husband.
Not there?
But he's on days now.
I see.
I'm obsessed. Will you help me?
Help you what?
Find R.R.
Sure we'll find R.R., but it might
take time. Got to research it.
A real scoop.
Your window.
Little scumbag.
Yellow jacket. 15 minutes ago,
he had a fever of 104.
What medicine he take?
- Where's the store?
- Courtyard.
Watch this.
Hello, I'm a neighbor of yours.
You have paparazzis out front.
Don't mention it. Bye now.
They're fucked.
- Stroll in and hide.
- Where?
Behind the trash. When they...
- Who's in there?
- Johnny and Carla Bruni.
I take their picture? I love them.
- They're not together.
- They will be.
Look, best there is.
Press, turn. Press, turn.
Got it?
I think so.
I'll wait here. They know me.
- Here's your thou.
- After. You kidding?
This is great.
- Taxi's coming.
- Sir, Madam...
The back way, please.
Stay by the limo, keep them busy.
Drop it, come on.
It's not me, it's for a magazine!
Plus he's stupid!
This guy's a paparazzi?
See my puss?
See my puss?
I see a photo in a magazine,
you got my puss in your face!
Got that?
Let's get out of here.
Have a nice day.
You, too.
That was Frank.
You hung up?
I said you were out. Let him stew.
Stew? But I don't want him to.
Easy. You're almost
down to the bone.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Lefvre.
He can't admit he was fired.
What he say?
He's on a business trip
with his boss.
See what I mean?
He can't tell me.
It's not his fault,
he's just too nice.
Last time, he was cook in a camp.
Food was so good,
the kids overate.
And at the garage...
You're no wife, you're his mother.
So you're not a couple.
That could prevent orgasm.
Hey, I have orgasms.
I never have. What's it like?
It's weird.
Like you're going to die.
Want some gnocchi?
It's cold.
Roman or potatoe?
- Semolina.
- Roman.
- Michel in today?
- Couldn't say.
With him it's anyone's guess.
He owes me 1,000 F.
No picture, but I got hit.
The pictures came out great.
Here, look.
- Next week's issue.
- Again?
This magazine tortures people
who aren't even famous.
God. You see that?
Typical Tuesday. Monday they call,
Tuesday they come.
He broke the window.
It'll be fixed by tonight.
I won't be stepped on.
Numero uno: Letters-to-the-Editor.
The boss writes them.
Sure. He gets off on it.
Plan B: Find R.R.
Michel owes me that much.
R.R. Is nobody.
It means "Rights Reserved."
It's on all of them.
They're too chicken to sign.
Rights reserved?
Michel's the biggest wuss around.
And he got you twice.
Sue them, you can't lose.
Take their money, they got plenty.
I'm not a beggar, I'm unemployed.
They cost me my job,
they owe me a job!
I'll never see Michel again.
Cell phone number?
Don't have one, I'm unemployed.
Call me later at work.
I'll ask around.
Anybody here?
Nobody. Two TV has-beens,
and the usual bimbos
who think they're Cindy Crawford.
- Not late.
- Half hour.
Right. Compared to usual,
you're on time.
Renaud Le Bihan,
Michel Verdier.
I know you.
That a problem?
- Who's this guy?
- He's a photographer.
Zaire, Sarajevo, Chechenya.
- Guidebook?
- Funny.
He was in Uruguay,
for the earthquake.
Anonymous deaths.
Plus if they're black...
Talent, and a heart of gold.
- Bye, Nicole.
- I'll call you.
Great guy.
No. You're a free woman.
I'm married. You always forget.
Not my problem.
Your place or mine?
Hubby out of town?
He likes it, you know.
He's great for his age.
Cataract's gone, he's 20-20.
What does he like?
Watching us do it.
Champagne, please.
The mirror.
That big mirror in the bedroom.
He watches us
without my knowledge?
This you talking?
He doesn't sell the pictures.
He takes pictures?
This guy's looking for you.
Have a seat.
Sorry, I can't place you.
- What do you do?
- I do unemployed.
Couldn't get the picture.
I got lit up.
But I think I earned my thousand.
May I?
I really need it, too.
I got canned for the first one.
Help him out.
You love lost causes.
Give him a job.
But Magma's in the dumper.
Fashion shots, staged poolside pap.
People want real life.
People want scuzz.
I'll tell you in your language:
You're a fucking ballbreaker.
Your whole gang of little scumbags.
You fuck people over,
and you don't care.
You like scuzz.
You'll pay me today?
Then I guess I can have...
some tiramisu.
And a Perrier.
You treat people like dummies.
They know it's hype.
They want truth.
I go after it, and I find it.
The best job there is.
Yeah, who? Ten minutes ago?
Be right there.
Sorry, got to go.
High journalism calls?
Coming? Got a job.
I'm going to help him.
Coming, Tonto?
Not sure. Last time wasn't so hot.
All right, stay.
Bye, ma'am.
- Regards to your husband.
- Yes, of course.
- It's you.
- Yeah.
Not taking my picture?
Course not.
My wife and family aren't here.
Alone, I'm boring to you.
Give me a scoop.
What's the special?
Chicken curry.
You're a hero.
A real hero.
- You're friends with Arthur?
- You saw.
Where you at with R. R?
I'm no actor, I'm innocent.
I was just there.
One-track mind!
I got a lead.
We'll find him.
This is me.
Better take my car then.
- Well?
- Left in a taxi.
- Both of them?
- Yeah, an hour ago.
Anything new, call me.
- Who's he?
- Nobody.
Neighbor. Tips me off.
- A thousand for that?
- Two thousand.
College man, no fool.
Sure, right.
Let's get to work.
- What're you doing?!
- How about you?
Best job there is?
Not pregnant.
- Who?
- Adjani.
She eats ravioli? Why her garbage?
She's got a new guy.
- Check that out.
- What is it?
Medicine, you never know.
She didn't have AIDS.
Muscle spasms, won't kill ya.
- Cephyl.
- Migraine.
Acid stomach. Stress gets 'em all.
Super's watching.
On the payroll. No cash,
just a free subscription.
Yoghurt's still good, eggs too.
Somebody's going bye-bye.
Julie, it's Michel.
Sorry, I had a problem last night.
Not mad? Good.
Call this number in L.A.
Ask for Mr. Bookman.
You're Adjani's secretary, OK?
Thank him for the screenplay.
So on and so forth.
You mislaid the schedule.
Find out if she's in L.A.
And what time she arrives.
Got it?
Thanks, hurry it up.
Stop cleaning.
I'm going to L.A.
Here's your thousand.
I've never been there.
You going direct?
- No, I stop at the airport.
- Never been there either.
Can I come? I'll take a bus back.
I knew it. Flight 062?
That leaves at 7:50.
Maybe I can catch it.
You're a genius. Big kiss. Bye.
Know the times by heart?
I know Los.
- Los?
- Los Angeles.
You just go? What'll you wear?
I'll pick something up.
Must have lots of clothes.
What a life. Taking off for L.A.
Without a word. I'm impressed.
I take the kid to Eurodisney,
the planning takes 2 months.
What does he care if I get through?
Some assholes, boy...
Want to make a thousand?
- Got a cell phone?
- Not yet.
- Got a phone?
- Yeah.
Keep the car 3 days.
- Got a license?
- Yeah, I got a car.
Let's see. Never know.
- You get it back for the car.
- Right, logical. Awesome.
Here's the thousand.
Registration's in there.
Where you going?
Terminal A.
Michel Verdier.
Smoke-free flight.
I paid.
Enjoy your flight.
What's wrong?
- What?
- Never saw her like this.
What is it?
A phone call. She broke down.
- From who?
- Benjamin.
That jerkoff.
She said she wouldn't go on.
She wanted to take pills,
stop recording. You know her.
- Where is she?
- There.
No kidding, it's bad.
- She's real depressed.
- Looks like it, yeah.
I'm a pretty happy person.
I'm really in love,
but that's private.
But, on this record, I wanted
to do something a little different.
See you later.
But that's got nothing to do
with my life.
No, you were great. Very pretty,
good energy.
It was a great show.
- Hello.
- Michel.
- Guillaume Durand.
- Yeah, I know.
I'll leave you. Kiss.
- Good night.
- Bye.
Benjamin left me.
Right, go ahead.
Real original.
All alone in the street.
You're lower than dirt!
Forget it. It's all over now.
Faggot photographers.
One day I'll kill one.
Verdier here. You know what to do.
It's Dd at the Fox. Not in?
Where are you? I'm waiting.
You want the 20,000 or not?
Two pictures!
Get your ass down here.
Kill myself over that asshole?!
- A half hour ago...
- That was a half hour ago.
I was going to L.A.
Yeah? To "make" who?
Could you tell your playmates
to get off my ass?
Not my playmates.
As for this guy, he's out.
He's out.
He is gorgeous.
If you like Boys' Band, hairless,
X-small teeshirts.
Right now, he's doing some model.
A Rumanian or Bulgarian,
I don't know...
First the cold war, now it's models!
Looks like an endive.
16 waist, A-cup.
And she does bra commercials!
Guy's a lowlife, a starfucker.
What's that mean?
I'm only loveable cause I'm famous?
You wanted fame.
See who I got before I was a star?
- Nice.
- Sorry, Michel.
I'm running off at the mouth.
Stay a while?
- Cell phone?
- Busy.
- The other line.
- Busy.
You don't remember me...
- Where's Michel?
- Los Angeles.
Damn. You a photographer?
So come on in.
The guy is Akram El Kabouli.
Lebanese, loaded.
It's his birthday. Wants it known
he's rich and rubs shoulders.
Take pictures. Pays 20,000.
We split it 50-50.
- Name?
- Frank Bordoni.
Akram, my photographer friend,
Frank. Best there is.
Good. You're the photographer?
Beautiful, beautiful.
Samir, take care of him.
Here's 20,000.
You get us VSD, Gala or Match,
there's 100,000 more.
Where's your camera?
- No camera?
- Sure I do. Here.
You're shooting with that?
All the paparazzis use them.
You're the pro.
Wait for the cake.
All right.
What did he tell you?
Pictures get in Match or Gala,
it's 20 more.
- 50-50, Dd.
- Great, Frankie.
- How you doing?
- I know you?
I was here with Michel Verdier.
He's a king-size asshole.
You a photographer, too?
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
Could you help me?
I don't recognize everyone.
Who's the blond next to Akram?
His wife Pamela.
Facelifts pay.
She does all his friends.
And the guy there?
One of the friends. A banker.
Know what a bank is?
Ah, Farrugia!
Who's the fat guy with the beard?
The Nobodys. You been in a coma
for thirty years, or what?
Here's to Farrugia!
You the new flunky?
Whose flunky?
Verdier's. Nice guy.
Never a thank you.
He's straight with me. Helped me.
Yeah, I noticed. He'll help you.
He'll help you plenty.
He'll help you hard and dry.
Hey, smartass.
Heard the one
about the headbutt?
Now you got 104.
Your turn.
Shitty, your El Kabouli pix.
Someone had to do it.
Who asked you? I gave you 1000 F
to park my car. We're even.
- Where's my car?
- Over there.
Give me the keys.
- Pictures that bad?
- Out-of-focus. They suck.
They're paparazzi shots.
The lab guys busted a gut.
My rep!
You got a nerve.
That's my jacket.
You go to my house?
Why'd you cancel L. A?
You my girlfriend now?
This is for you, right?
We going to your place?
You're my girlfriend now.
I'm going to my place.
No, well, I mean...
I left some loose ends
at your place.
What is this crap?
That's my teeshirt.
- Bndicte...
- I know her.
Out, both of you. Now!
Didn't say it was this jerk's place.
I didn't know.
Patrice, from Rent-a-Boat,
Saint-Tropez. I got a lead...
Give me 500.
Want me to lend you 500?
No, give me 500.
For my guy, it's free.
Otherwise, 500.
Whatever. I need my 500.
She a whore?
She would've asked for money.
Of course.
It's Sandra. Thanks,
you're a real friend.
New phone service?
You pay and they talk nice.
What's she want?
Get out.
Know who R.R. Is?
Funny thing about initials.
It's weird, but R.R.
Is Michel Verdier.
Like me, Frank Bordoni.
Initials are L.S. Little Schmuck.
You going to punch
R.R.'s lights out?
Not really.
Hey, 2 covers in 2 weeks.
Bruce Willis'd be jealous.
He's not a night watchman.
Neither are you.
Anything else?
Cause I got a job.
Guy's getting his bandages off.
2PM, he goes for a walk.
How do you know?
Got a cell phone?
Who doesn't?
Xavier and I share one.
- Who's the guy?
- F1 pilot.
Venturi? He was a mummy!
I took the pictures.
You did? Wow.
40 magazines, world-wide.
40 countries?
No. 400,000!
Give me a number in 3 figures.
Yes, Room 315 please.
Anesthesiology here.
No food or drink
before the operation.
Left leg amputation.
This is Mrs. Mansart?
Sorry, Mrs. Dumez.
Very, very sorry.
Scared her.
Mrs. Dumez is in room 315?
My grandmother.
315, third floor.
Turn off your cell phone, please.
Yeah. Interference.
You don't know the code,
it's over.
I dreamed of getting one.
- 1,000?
- 1,500 with the badge.
Come here.
- It's that way.
- Watch and learn.
What're you doing?
Stocking up. Some starlet
has a kid, I got the pix.
Whose babies are they?
Just babies. They're all alike.
Hang on... you never know.
- Hello, Mrs. Dumez.
- Don't move.
She won't.
You OK, Grandma?
Your grandma's riding high.
Shit. Got to go down there.
See? Isn't it nice to take a walk?
He's over there.
Come on.
Hey, easy. Slow down!
Hurt yourself?
Where's the camera?
Hat's off. Awesome.
Yeah, perfect.
Are we going for a walk, or not?
Otherwise, take me back.
I'm going to miss my meal.
Take care of her,
or we'll stand out.
Stop belly-aching, Grams.
I don't eat, I can't nap.
No nap, I'll be asleep at 6.
I'll wake up too early tomorrow.
At noon, I'll be asleep again.
Then what?
I miss The Young and the Restless!
Let's go, buddy.
Now. Make him walk.
Fuckin' A. Feeding time!
- What?
- She's real calm.
It looks like she's sleeping.
Michel, is she asleep?
Fast asleep.
Looks like
she's gonna sleep the day away.
What do we do?
Hey, she's your grandmother.
See you next week, Grandma.
She's lucky. She missed lunch.
Not bad, huh?
They bid higher than Guess What
will you sell Venturi?
Can't sell Wednesday.
Why not?
Dachari's deadline's Thursday.
Wednesday you get 50.
Make him wait, he'll go 80.
You made 30 thou.
- All right?
- All right.
How much you giving me?
So money-hungry!
- 5,000?
- Right, sure.
Hey, I tried. 100,000?
May I? We're running late.
- Where's this going?
- 27 countries.
Boggles the mind.
Claudia Schiffer in a nighty,
with teddy bears.
What's the world coming to?
27? With our... thing,
we're going to clean up.
- How are you?
- You're doing better.
- Wanted to see me?
- Two seconds.
That's not much.
Why her?
I go where the money is.
She won't buy.
She hates you.
Smart guy.
You study psychology?
No, why?
Sorry. Not still mad?
Sure am.
What can I do?
I don't know.
Ask forgiveness, take me out.
Some token of love.
I got something.
What? Bodies in Bosnia?
Zaire refugees? Algerian women?
Chris Venturi walks. Global.
This is hot. I kept it for you.
That's the token of your love?
He tries to walk, falls.
It's great.
He's with... orderlies.
He learns fast.
But they catch him. Awesome.
Excuse me.
Come on.
- You're too good for that.
- Too good for you.
Passed up a fortune.
What is she, stupid?
She's right. She's a good person.
Picture's horrible, we're monsters.
- Screw the money.
- My 100,00?!
April Fool's. Who's she anyway?
Plenty of agencies. Feeding time!
Great. I can carpet
the living room.
Idealists like you
make for human progress.
Could we go see my wife?
She must be worried,
it's been 3 days.
You got a wife?
And a son.
Well, he's her son...
A wife and a son! So?
You could explain it to her.
You got a gift for gab.
Careful of my ingrown toenail.
People actually read this!?
Here comes Superman.
Over there.
Funny, looks like
the magazine guy.
Stand your ground.
What did you do?
I haven't slept!
I called the hospitals, the police.
Where were you?
He couldn't say he got fired,
he won't talk about his mistress.
This is my new boss. I got a job.
Doing what? Wrestling?
Photography. He has talent,
takes great pictures.
Great pictures? That's a laugh.
In Morocco,
he couldn't focus or frame.
Our readers love that.
Out of focus is good.
Here, this is for you.
Where'd you get that?
Yeah, where?
It's for home.
You have a home?
A wife? A child?
You don't have amnesia?
It's a new beginning.
I can't talk now...
So shut up. I'm keeping my job.
Your foot, please.
Frank, we got to go.
What's Pamela Anderson
really like?
Plastic tits, silicone lips,
I.Q. Of an M&M. Why?
We going?
Never happy. No job, no good.
Job, still no good.
There's no pleasing you.
Just yell as you go,
never explain.
All alike.
Couldn't happen to you.
Your man can't leave.
You got no man.
Why do you say that?
Keep her in line, huh?
Hey, Tonto, celebrities go there.
Your wife could tip us off.
No, never. She's honest.
Not one word.
About Bndicte, either?
Her neither, no.
What's with that cash?
The Fox pix. Here's your share.
A thousand? Putting me on?
Yeah, just like you.
- That all right?
- Take it all.
All of it?
Leave the jack and the spare.
We'll get caught.
Sure, with that arsenal!
Claire, I didn't take that picture.
Those shots on the boat
were great. Half naked,
I looked like a centerfold.
My son was thrilled,
my family very happy.
I'm wasting my breath.
You'll never change.
No, she's right. Who is it?
Nobody likes us!
- Ever hear of MC Watson?
- You kidding?
'84 Olympic champ,
the title in '90.
- '84 to '89?
- He fought.
'84 to '89 prison, for rape.
Lost his title to Lopez in '92.
Boom! Gets it back in '94.
Zapped him. 1 st round,
34 seconds, KO!
In '95?
Don't tell me.
The Nigerian?
The Englishman?
New York girl.
Settled out for $4 million.
He's here.
We go make him or not?
He'll make us - for lunch.
I didn't call you.
- MC Watson.
- Right, sure.
You're the photographers?
From Magma. Nicole Plissier.
Michel Verdier.
My asst., Frank Bordoni.
Claire Rolland, press agent.
You're early.
We'll wait. Might miss the cover.
You know Americans - very pro.
MC's a darling,
a big teddy bear,
but he's got a short fuse.
OK, let's see.
Set up on the terrace, that way.
I'll see if MC and Kim are ready.
They have major jetlag.
Set up.
We can't do that kind of picture.
- I can.
- You're a photographer?
Don't, he's a monster!
What you got?
Light's good.
MC and Kim are coming.
Everything ready?
MC Watson...
- Speak English?
- No. Can't you tell?
No fancy stuff. Available light.
Take the meter.
Get me a reading.
4, 5, 5, 6, 6... 9!
What are you talking about?
Hang on, wait a second.
I'm with the photographers.
Hi, Nicole...
Get the bags.
Hang on, I'll go see.
Excuse me, who are you exactly?
Oh, it's the trouble-maker.
We'll work this out, MC.
Take a hike.
Got something for me?
Stay out of my life.
You know who I am.
Don't play surprised.
Got yourself a slave?
Jobs program working out?
- What did I do?
- Nothing, like always.
Who is he?
See that?
What is it?
Switched them. We're rich.
I could've been killed.
No, you're the best.
- You got him good!
- Shut up.
Get the focus right.
How's it look?
Fine. Like a hospital.
Let's see pain.
Look at me.
Now that hurts.
He fucked with the wrong guys.
Frank, I'll get fired.
Evelyne, this is a fortune.
You'll come back as a customer.
What is this? Cruella's coming.
Enough. Take your buddy,
and get out.
This is my business.
Frank, take your buddy
and get out.
We're done, let's split.
You leave here,
and you leave the house.
It's over.
You're a child.
I already have a child.
I'm your wife, not your mother.
You're not a couple.
Oprah Show over?
Can we go?
Really want me out?
We're gone.
Let him stew.
Don't call, he'll call.
And we'll tell him off.
You just wash, or did you
eat dinner in the bathroom?
Guy's naked,
you can see his thing!
Wops. They're show-offs.
Next to them we're dwarves.
Nothing better to wear?
Kidding? This is my favorite.
Daniel Bravo autograph.
What exactly are you doing?
My portfolio.
Shaping up, huh?
Look silly to put pictures of me in?
My favorite.
Naturally. It is my 1 st photo.
Awesome, huh?
Yeah, awesome.
Scuzz - that neckbrace.
You've hit bottom.
I drink coffee, too.
Can't carry 2 cups?
I don't even know
where the cups are.
Over the white, cold thing.
Where you go when you're hungry.
Don't go empty-handed.
Been 2 days, feels like 3 years.
Take a picture.
Move it. Dd's waiting.
How are you, Dd?
Frankie, baby, how are you?
- Lose a bet?
- No, why?
I got something for you.
Something big. MC Watson.
You joking? We just made him.
He'll kill me.
I'm talking big.
Not Macarena dickie peanuts.
Man's engaged.
He's sweet on my waitress.
She'll help us sting him.
Bndicte, Frank's girl.
Not my girl.
10 calls a day.
10 calls a day?
This guy's full of it.
Girl and me, the set-up, 180,000.
No go. Watson's a psychopath.
Worth 2 or 3 million. World-wide.
180's nothing.
Fork over your half, Frankie.
I'm broke.
The money on Venturi, Watson?
My wife.
Right. Give her the money.
Live on my food.
You guys should at least butt-fuck.
You got all the disadvantages.
We a go or not?
Course we're a go!
Fuck that, Frank. I decide.
OK, we're a go.
'Fuck is he? 4 hours late.
- That's stakeouts.
- It's muggy out.
We stay here for years?
Shut up. It seems longer
when you talk.
Could've got pix in Saint-Tropez,
5 mins. Away.
Of what?
I don't know. Johnny Hallyday.
Bernard Montiel.
Montiel's like Goofy in Disneyland.
Anybody can get a picture.
40 thousand guys taking pictures
in Saint-Tropezze.
Here, we're all alone.
You learn that much?
Just work your camcorder.
How come I don't get a camera?
What is this thing?
I told you. For Italian TV.
They show everything.
Little dick? Forget about TV,
movies and politics.
Go into the paparazzi biz.
Nice job, that Dd. Great buffet.
Better be, for 180,000.
Go ahead.
Gets 50 thou, she mocks me.
You believe that?
What's that?
Fuck! Didn't think of that.
- Him?
- No, the postman.
Yacht delivery. Course it's him.
He was supposed to eat here!
Changed his mind.
Go ahead!
Don't go!
10,000 right there.
Feeling her up!
That's why we're here.
- We got what we need.
- We got expenses.
He'll rape her.
- No, she'll jump.
- He could get her in the hold.
You wanted to do this,
we go all the way. Shoot!
200,000. We're in the black.
300,000! Let's go!
Go ahead. Fuck her.
Fuck her!
- They made us.
- Wait!
Bingo! Three million!
We're out of here.
- The girl!
- He won't kill her.
Yes, he will!
The film.
Here, here...
The rest.
- Let's talk.
- The rest!
Hope there's no mistake.
Last time, it was a kid by a pool.
Nicolas at Aqualand.
Thanks for the cassette.
He's crazy!
That's 100,000 F there.
OK, can we go?
Not quite yet.
The crazy-man's coming!
Can we leave now?
One second.
Thanks to you,
the world's seen his cock.
We're dead.
Pretty impressive, huh?
6'5", 210 Ibs.
4 tons of thrust in each fist.
Beautiful, huh?
Get going.
At least we're alive.
This'll cost me
3 to 4 hundred thousand.
Don't get bent out of shape.
- It's insured.
- Right.
Covered under water damage,
act of God,
or boxer-caught-fucking?
Where's my 50?
I got no photo, you got no money.
She took a big risk.
So you give her 50 thousand.
- You know I...
- Yeah, I know.
Go back to your son
who's not your son
and your soon-to-be-ex-wife.
Listen to me.
You're a piece-of-shit scumbag.
Like to see you get hit by him.
You stop playing,
"It's not me, it's the other guy."
You're a chicken-shit,
same as him.
She better watch it.
What'd I do?
Plus she got a tan.
Could you spare me a thou?
Right now, I'm...
You don't give up.
I'll take a bus.
- Call me?
- Right, I'll call you.
Like salt needs the sea,
Like rain needs to fall
Like dust needs the wind,
I need you, that's all
Like a star needs the sky,
Like an eye needs to cry
Time needs to renew
I need you
Michel, great. How are you?
Thanks, Charlotte. I'll manage.
Where were you? I left messages.
What's the emergency?
He still with the endive?
I'm sure he still loves me.
You got to help me.
What? You don't look good.
Tired and fed up.
You'll help me?
Sorry, I talked about
myself a second.
You're keeping the kid?
Benjamin the father?
Snooping around again?
It's in your blood.
You can't help yourself.
I saw the ultrasound at your place.
I snooped. I'm a paparazzi.
You didn't answer. You keep it?
Yes. And I want
to keep the father, too.
Heard of Eric Mayer?
- Tennis player?
- What do you think?
What can I say?
All he wins is free rackets.
Who cares? He's crazy for me.
He'll do, right?
I want you to catch us together.
Like: "Her Secret New Love."
That out-of-focus stuff
you do so well.
But believable. I want Benjamin
to die when he sees them.
What's wrong with you?
That's not worth a dime.
No scoop. I'm all alone.
Come here.
- Who's he?
- Works with me, my son.
Lovely. May I?
- What's your name?
- Nicolas.
Help me out, Nicolas?
Take a picture with your dad?
Take a nice picture, together?
That's worth some cash.
Go away for the weekend,
you need it.
- Bye, Nicolas.
- Bye.
Give me that. Put it away.
I'm not your assistant.
Open that and put it away.
Hey, watch it! Easy!
Move! I can't see!
Want my wife and my car?!
- Move it!
- Ride on my shoulders!
Get away!
Pain in the ass.
Let's go. Nothing to see here.
Put the stuff away.
This guy's a nutcase.
Stop busting my fucking balls!
Get away!
Get the fuck out, goddamit!
What do you want?
Sorry, I thought you were
Robin Williams.
Right, and my wife is Demi Moore.
Told you it wasn't Robin Williams.
Let's go to Sportworld.
Those skates are too expensive.
Not skates, they're rollerblades.
- What's going on?
- Nothing, that's just it.
Been 2 weeks, I don't know...
You wanted to come back.
Want me to leave?
No, I'm not happy without you.
But we're not clicking.
- We don't click, I leave.
- No, we click. But...
You're different. You don't talk.
Call about the watchman job?
After what I've been through?
I can't live in a parking lot.
I've been with stars!
You waiting for Buffalo Bill
to call you with a tip?
Don't bother, he won't call!
Paparazzi! Call that work?
It's ugly!
Fishing around in Adjani's garbage!
Hassling people.
You loved Adjani in Queen Margot.
I'm going inside, it's wet.
Loved her. I said "liked,"
not "loved."
Kids, go outside.
They tell people lies!
Lies! Look.
I know. I wax Charlotte Ledoux.
What? Who's Charlotte Ledoux?
Sandra Bartok's dresser.
Sandra Bartok. What's up with her?
I'll never tell you.
- Got her address?
- The dresser's?
No, Bartok's. I want it.
Go screw yourself.
Evelyne, give me a chance.
Michel, not home?
Photos worked great.
Benjamin went wild.
The endive is history.
Going on a 5-star hotel weekend.
I'll tell him about the baby.
So, best friend, one more favor:
Could you take Caramel 3 days?
Love you. Bye!
Over here.
Hey, how you doing?
Not bad. What's up with you?
I'm all right.
Just calling to say hi.
Yeah. So what you doing?
Nothing much. I'm taking stock.
I might do some reporting.
Some hard journalism, I don't know.
Spare me. When you're hooked...
I promised Evelyne I'd kick.
Went looking for work.
You'll never guess where I am.
Where are you?
You said guess. I can't guess.
I went too far.
I got to take stock. Like you.
Well, I'm here.
Me, too. I'm here.
Call you back.
Right. See you.
Why are you here?
Who knew you saw
Sandra Bartok?
We could do something big here.
I make you, we split it.
Better: You sue
for invasion of privacy.
Big bucks. Split 3 ways.
Tax exempt.
No bucks, no split, nothing.
Lay off that girl.
- Why?
- Because. End of story.
I lay off, you give me something?
If that don't beat hell.
I need work. You didn't tell me
you were fucking a star.
Fucking a star?
My good side rub off on you, too?
Hands off the girl.
Capito, Tonto?
Where you going?
Back to your bimbo?
Darling, waiting long?
Not very long.
I got a right. Public place.
An airport. I got a right.
I'm press.
We had a long talk Saturday.
He was worried.
He was right to worry.
Worried about me.
About how I'd do without him.
He said, "Watch out.
"With me, you're free.
Without me, you're alone."
He forgot, I'm here.
You're not alone.
He didn't forget.
You're everywhere, but not here.
Who's that for? Me?
He was my anchor.
Our anchor.
We're about adultery,
not a love affair.
Hey, let him watch.
Same voice as your owner!
That one!
- Still see her?
- She's like my sister.
What's an adulteress
without a husband?
A whore.
Still love me a little?
Actually, I'm making big changes.
I've shifted my center.
I want wife, kids, videotapes.
Walks in the woods. I swear.
It's true.
That's nice of you.
- It's true.
- Kiss me.
Lebanese businessman El Kabouli
shot his wife dead...
I don't want to go home. their Paris apartment.
The millionaire then shot himself.
Stop here. Now!
Sorry, it's the last time.
I'm with you.
You mad? I'll call you later.
Hi, Robert.
What's with the suit, the dog?
On a stakeout?
- What?
- Picture of happiness.
El Kabouli. That's his wife.
That must be the lover.
- How'd you get it?
- Frank took them.
50,000. For him.
You a messenger now?
- He's a friend.
- A friend?!
What is it, you have a breakdown?
I'm just fine.
So fine I can't stand you.
I'm sick of you.
- I might quit.
- You?
No papers, no readers, no stars,
no money, you'd keep doing it.
40,000. Done?
Michel? Where are you?
Me? I'm home.
Yeah. No, cause Nicolas' asleep.
Rollerblading all day...
Tip? Nice of you.
Guy wants to beat you up.
Me? Why?
Cause you're a slimy scumbag.
Dirt. A piece of shit.
Isn't that right?
Michel, I swear. It wasn't me.
I said hands off.
What is this mess?
You taught me.
Look what I found.
They're yours. I could use them.
But I won't. They're yours.
Stop the dog.
Might be some important stuff.
Stop, doggy.
Look at you.
I know your life.
Scrounge around,
lie all the time,
lose your wife.
Shit on everyone,
get treated like shit.
Anything else on her?
You got more dirt?
Want some more? Here.
The bathroom.
Here's my schedule. It's all there.
hotels. Dinner with Benjamin.
Number of the restaurant.
Thursday's dentist. We're platonic.
He might be, you know...
Look into it.
Coming, Caramel?
Wait, Sandra!
- I came with the dog.
- I'm not stupid!
Only you knew where I was.
15-year friendship!
Tell him to be more discreet.
I spotted him at the hotel.
She's lying!
I'm telling you, it wasn't me.
Where's the fag dentist?
It's Alien, I got to break the eggs.
She got it wrong.
I wasn't there, I swear.
- Anything else on her?
- No, I swear.
What else?
You know me.
- You want money?
- Hey, come on.
That's 40,000.
You know me.
I sold your El Kabouli pix.
Could've screwed you, I didn't.
I'm warning you.
You hurt her,
I hurt you real bad.
Don't worry, I got it covered.
Sue us cause she's with him?
She should sue
for those sorry tits!
For a model, that's malpractice.
Robert, I got a problem
for the Bartok shot.
The shot? It's coming out Monday.
Unless you get the Pope in a pool
with Madonna, that's the cover.
It's a story in pictures.
I love you, I love you not.
It's a top series.
So what's wrong?
I don't want Verdier
to know I took them.
Anyone asks, it was R.R.
R. R?
Yeah. R.R.
Sandra, it's Kruger.
I pled your hearing today.
They won't recall it,
but we get a 50,000 F indemnity
and the usual legal statement
on the cover.
I think we did pretty well.
Mrs. Bartok, it's Gisle.
Disaster. The stain spread.
It's blackberry or red currant.
The jacket's ruined.
I'm sorry. Come by the shop,
we'll work it out.
It's Benjamin.
Sorry you found out that way.
It really sucks. I'm sorry.
It's Michel.
I know.
Look, I left 4 or 5 messages.
She doesn't answer.
Could you go, Charlotte?
Keep me posted.
I got to go.
Where'd he say he was?
That's Rome.
It's your job to screw up
other people's lives.
I'm doing this to save his.
I wish someone had done it for me.
He's 15 years ahead.
That's not fair.
Years I was a prick,
I never got hit.
I decide to change.
I'm honest 2 hours, I get slapped.
No, it's not fair!
Right, it's not fair.
One slap isn't enough.
- Three?
- Right. Three.
I just found out, too.
Cognac, please.
Tell her we were 3?
Evelyne Bordoni.
Your name?
Well now, she is very pretty.
My heavens.
And long! Legs, all that...
And the... What a piece.
Must be great in bed.
You never know.
Some hot babes can't fuck.
And some homemakers
got the Cleopatra grip.
Stop it.
- Your wife?
- Yeah, but...
So let her talk.
If you're happy, if you love him,
I won't stand in the way.
I won't cloy, I'm not the type.
You're a real jerk.
Sorry, I wasn't told.
Won't be my last slap.
I'm a paparazzi.
Goes with the money.
It's my life. I'm a hunter.
I'm no civil servant, 9 - 5.
The prey's in the woods at 5 a.m.
You make enemies.
I'll have plenty.
Yes. Me.
Since the money,
you give nothing else.
So choose.
Paparazzi, or your family.
Be right there.
Get in.
I'll drive you.
At the morgue, for 5,000,
Didier'll open the drawer.
Safari shots OK?
Good for National Geographic.
Little tit, some pubies.
Can't a guy kid around, Nicole?
Shit! ...No, I lost
my parking ticket.
See you in a half hour.
I love you, darling.
Lost my ticket.
How are you?
Got a minute?
Come in.
How's it hanging, man?
Working here?
I'm at Magma. Nature Dept.
Jungle, birds...
Nicole and I got married.
Sandra OK?
Saw the baby pictures. Yours?
Not mine, no. But she's fine.
It's weird,
we haven't spoken much.
Had another boy.
Right, not really yours.
Not at all mine.
Had him with another guy.
But you're OK?
I found my groove,
my element.
You happy?
Very, yes.
Take a look.
Cameras all over.
Every floor is filmed.
It's her.
You never stopped?
I'm a parking attendant.
1,000 F for the shirt?
For the day.
Sorry, lost my ticket.
That's not good.
I'll let it go, for you.
Thank you.
Could I just say one thing?
We really like what you do.
If only everyone
were as nice as you.
Don't lose her!
Stay on her tail!
I just drop you off.
- Who's arguing?
- So it's clear.
She gets out,
I drop you, I go.
- No problem.
- No problem.
What you using?
35 - 350
- Opens to what?
- 35 - 56
With this light,
use the 200. Opens to 1.8,
you stop it up 2.
- Yeah.
- Not 2.
- Yeah, 3.
- Practically.
Feels like airport. Ergo,
crowds. Ergo, depth of field.
Use the 200, you're cool.
You're the pro.
Do what the fuck you want.
No, I hear you.
What kind of film?
Kodak. I'm real Kodak.
Me, too. I'm Kodak myself.
See? We agree.