Paper Champions (2020) Movie Script
Rey, Rey!
Some people are born great.
- Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Some achieve greatness.
And others have greatness
thrust upon them.
And then there's me.
I always saw my life turning
out a little different
than it did.
Not better or worse,
just different.
Wade says "There comes a time as a man
when you realize who you are."
And me?
I'm still working on it.
- Good day, Rey.
- Good day, Rey.
Just the usual?
Or would you like to try
our rice paper roll today?
- Just the usual.
- Just the usual, one
tuna sandwich coming up.
- You don't know what you're missing.
Dad always said
I could do anything
I put my mind to.
Terry says, "If you really want something,
put it in a Russian side
headlock and choke it out.
That's what men do."
- What a day to be alive.
I'm working on it.
- Welcome to photocopying excellence.
In today's fast paced economy,
you need to know that your-
- Your paper is in the right hands.
Welcome to the world of
photocopying excellence.
In today's fast paced business economy,
it's important to know
that your paper is in the-
- Rey, psst, Rey.
Sorry to bother you,
I just wanna calm your
fashion nerves, buddy.
- My-
- Your fashion nerves, for tonight.
The bi-annual office party?
- Yeah, I actually, I've got this-
- That's awesome, hey listen, I hear ya,
but also I feel ya, that's more important.
Check these bad boys out.
What do you reckon?
Do they scream Mana or what?
- Mana, I-
- Mana!
- Hi boys, are you excited
for, ooh, are they for tonight?
- They certainly are.
What do you reckon, Steph?
- They are very intense.
- Intense.
Yeah, intense.
Thanks Steph, told ya.
- I.
- Hm?
- Thanks, I like.
- Yes, I knew you would
bro, we're gonna kill it.
- I'll see you guys later.
Oh, actually, sorry boys.
Can we make sure that we
fill out our diversity
and inclusiveness surveys?
I spoke about it at the staff meeting,
sent an email reminding you
that the completion is compulsory.
- Uh, yeah,
the diversity and exclusiveness survey.
Yep, I'll have that on
your desk by the morning.
- Great, thank you, Wade.
I'll see you guys later.
- Bye, Steph.
- Rey!
- Huh?
- Hit the dance floor
in this attire tonight,
and I guarantee you, you're
gonna kill it, all right?
Rey, focus.
This is your moment, your Mana.
All right, I'll pick you up at five,
very nice.
- Oh, I'm good, thank you.
- Now, where is that little Latino?
Next stop, Spain.
- Rico thinks he's the
king of the dance floor.
Since when does the water
delivery boy get an invite
to our office party, Rey?
Rey, what are you doing sitting here?
- I don't wanna lose my seat.
- Wait, you're sitting here
wasting this suit, hey?
We gotta get your Mana on.
I just wanna tear it up with my boy.
Don't you wanna tear it up with your boy?
Look at him and his bloody posture.
Low body fat percentage,
he hasn't had a
carbohydrate for four years.
Rey, what is it?
- I can't dance, Wade.
- Everyone can dance, Rey.
- Not me.
- Rey.
- What?
- I'm gonna teach you to dance.
- I-
- Look at this guy,
you're dancing tonight.
- I have to look after the tank.
- What?
- The-
- The what? I can't, what
are you talking about?
- Linda wants me to look after the tank.
- You're talking, that's your problem.
- Wade.
- Let's go.
Rey, come here.
It's just us, there's nobody here.
It's just us, come on.
Scratch that, Geoffrey's
coming, act natural.
- What are you two boys
doing down here, hm?
- Just getting some fresh air.
- Oh, mind if I join you?
- Actually, Geoffrey-
- That would be yep, yeah, please.
- How good are chips?
They've got chicken ones in there, fancy.
I just did a wee before, so.
Won't need to go again
for a while, so it's good.
Well, that's enough of me,
I'll see boys in there, okay?
- The heck did he come from?
Rey, you're dancing
tonight, you can do it.
We're gonna get your Mana on, bro.
- My?
- Your Mana.
How long we known each other?
- A long time.
- Primary school, high
school, present day.
We're gonna do this together, hey?
I've always had your back.
Haven't I always had your back?
- Yeah, but you ate my lunch.
- That's beside the point.
We're here now, and I want you to dance.
Before we start, let me see
what you're working with.
- Ah.
- Bro, come on. It's just us, nobody here.
Let's go.
Hey, we can only go up from here, right?
I'ma teach you the basics
and you're gonna do it right, trust me.
Together, Rey, Rey, focus, eyes.
Step, together, step, together,
step, together, that's it.
Ah, yeah, you can lean
back, ah, hey, yeah.
Uh, uh, uh.
All right, cool, cool, cool.
Surf, surf, go low, boom.
There we go, there you,
yep, crouching tiger.
Move your weight, there, down,
down. you look like a bird.
Down there, arms down, here
we go, here we go, bruh.
Hit a wave, hit a wave, Rey.
There we go, boom.
- I can't, I-
- Yes you can, come on.
We be hanging, we be hanging, Rey.
There we go, there, yeah, that's close.
All right, and in case a slow jam comes...
Dude, we don't have much time.
Case the slow jam comes on,
you stay in close, all right?
I want you to lead, but at
the same time be respectful.
Just keep your hands here,
she'll put her hands up here.
- Should we-
- Shh, just relax, just relax.
It'll happen, same thing, two step.
Eyes up, eyes up, keep your eyes up.
There you go, you feel that?
- Yeah.
- Relax.
How'd that feel?
- It, uh, felt nice.
Yeah? You're ready.
- So where'd you boys sneak off to?
- Sorry, Steph, I can't talk right now.
- What do you mean?
- It's happening.
What's, oh.
- Those moves aren't from my arsenal.
She's having a heart attack,
crew, call an ambulance!
- Well, between Rodney
propositioning the intern,
Pru spiking the punch
and Linda's heart attack,
it's fair to say I have
my work cut out for me
Monday morning.
Well, it's better
than last year's party.
- Which one?
What will it be today?
- Just the usual.
- The fate of us all.
Morning, Rey, in every sense.
- Sorry?
- Sorry, I thought you knew.
Last night, Linda passed away.
Myocardial infarction, nasty business.
They say it's easier when
you know it's coming.
If only we had some sort of sign.
Anyway, you know what
they say, life goes on.
So congratulations Rey,
you're our new floor manager.
- I-
- And wow.
You deserve it.
Don't worry, we'll get
you your own printed up
the end of the financial year.
Until then, you're gonna have to make do.
- Oh, actually, Rodney,
I've got a pretty good
thing going on here.
Good one Rey,
I needed that, mate.
I needed that.
- Rey!
You wrestle, Rey?
- I-
- Keep still.
I was telling Terry how
when you were little,
your dream was to become
a wrestler, remember?
You even had a name.
What was it? The Thunder Boy?
- The Lightning Kid.
- That's right, you were so adorable.
Remember I made you a little cape?
Terry is a three-time wrestling champion.
- '81, '82, and '85.
- What happened in '83, '84, huh?
- '83, civil war broke out in Zimbabwe.
'84, Apple released the Macintosh,
forever changing the tech industry.
- I meant-
- I know what you meant, Rey.
After securing back-to-back titles,
I started enjoying myself
a little bit too much.
And one night I wrapped my
car around a power pole.
- Sorry I, I didn't know.
Why would ya?
- Well, that's enough for now.
I have run out of flesh colored paint.
- So tell me, Rey, what are
your plans for Valentine's Day?
- I invited him to join us,
I didn't want him to be alone.
- Oh, what business does
he have being alone?
Surely he's surrounded by
attractive women on a daily basis.
Given your line of work, I mean.
- Dunno what you mean.
- Hmm, well, that's surprising.
I guess the photocopier
business isn't as glamorous
as they make it out in
the movies.
- Terry is just teasing.
- In all seriousness though Rey,
Morine mentioned you
might need a few pointers.
- Pointers? What kind of pointers?
- The romantic kind.
Terry is quite talented in
that department.
- Actually, I-
- Before you make up your mind, Rey,
I want you to do something for me.
Look at me, Rey.
Now look at your mother.
What do you see?
I'll tell you what I see.
I see one of the most
intelligent,
thoughtful,
caring,
sensual,
provocative!
- Oh, Terry.
- Arousing woman that's ever
been my pleasure to meet.
Oh, not in front of Rey.
Not in front of Rey.
Sorry, Rey.
I guess I got a little carried away there.
But if I could-
Rey?
I thought that went
well for the most part.
- I'm gonna need more flesh
colored paint than I thought.
- Hello?
Hello?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Just after staples.
Reception ran out and apparently
picking up office supplies
falls within my job description.
- Ah, do you,
do you know what size
staples you're after?
- No, although they, they gave me this,
so I can.
Oh, ah, oh.
- The Lexman 25A.
- You know your staples.
- With today's fast-paced
business economy,
it's important to know
that your staples are in the right hands.
- Right, ah great.
Well, could I get maybe
two cartons of the-
- Lexman 25A
- Lexman 25A's.
- Yep, ah.
25, 25, 22, 21, 20, 25.
- Thank you so much for your help.
Maybe I'll see you next
time I come in, Linda.
- Oh, I'm actually not, ah damn it.
Come on.
I'm Rey.
That's $39.40 too.
Ah, damn it.
Scientifically
developed, just 30 seconds a day
with Heavy Grip Hand Gripers
will take you from this,
to this.
What are you waiting for?
Order now and we'll knock
a whopping 12% off the cost
of postage.
Results may vary.
- Morning, Rey.
- Oh! Ah, Terry.
Is everything all right?
- Yeah, yeah. I just wanted a quick word.
- I can't, maybe later.
- Your mother wants us
to spend some quality time together, Rey.
- Yep.
- It's, it's important to her that,
that we bond.
- What, am I made of
paternity tests over here?
You're the guy I come to
to make this stuff go away.
No, I've been saying that since day dot,
and I don't know what we're
arguing about, to be honest.
At the end of the day,
it's a matter of swings
and roundabouts, and I've
been saying that, you know,
since the dawn of civilization,
virtually, you know-
- Welcome to a world of
photocopying excellence.
In today's fast-paced business economy-
- Sorry, just a second, just a second.
Hey, makes copies, yeah?
- They all do, yeah.
I'll take two, back of
the truck, let's roll.
Well, you know, if she's so
certain she can pay for it.
How's that feel?
- With state of the art-
- Hang on a second, hang on a second.
That's a great pitch
guy, I'm sold, I'm in.
Bring the truck around,
let's open the pod doors Hal.
- I haven't done the technical-
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's all down on the pamphlet,
I grabbed one on the way.
How much are they?
No, no, no, I'm talking to him.
What's your name?
- Rey.
- I'm talking to Rey.
Rey Star, the Death Rey, Reymond.
Rey, it's printed right
down at the bottom.
You're an expendable
asset, I'm having some fun.
Listen, let, no, no, no,
I'm talking to you now.
I'm not talking to Rey.
I'm saying, let's lock and load on this,
let's get in the kill zone.
Of course I'm not saying
I wanna whack her,
I'm saying I want it sorted out.
Let's have a round table
discussion about it.
Any table, it doesn't have to be round.
I'm saying that-
So, bro, how's the new office?
Aw, cheer up bro, it's Valentine's Day.
Bro, what are you doing?
If I was gonna find my Mana,
I had to surround myself with it.
- What is he doing out there?
People are gonna think he's a pervert.
That's it, I'm inviting him in.
- Morine, he'll do this in his own time.
- Rey.
- Terry, ah, I thought
about your, your offer,
the romantic one.
Something's come up
and I think you can help me find my Mana.
- I'm not quite sure what that is,
but I think I know just the thing.
- Okay, Rey hasn't been himself
at work lately, hey, boys?
I think this will be good for him.
I'm gonna go pick him up.
- You hear that, boys?
Rey isn't well, so there
will be no talk of Anika.
- It's not our fault that
she's in love with him.
Or that she wants his-
- Boys! That's enough.
Rey! Ah, still rocking the shirt.
You know Anika's gonna love that shirt.
Listen, we got a
barbecue, we've got beers.
Mate, you'll be fine,
we'll get something to eat.
What are you, hey.
Rey, I'm hungry, let's go.
I gotta change my shirt, Wade.
No, no, no, no, the
shirt's the best bit, Rey.
- I told you Anika's gonna love it.
Be good, boys.
You all right? Now let's go eat.
Whoo.
Pretty heavy for a little fella.
Nice shirt, Rey.
- Couldn't find my other one.
- Maybe Anika has it.
- Kian!
Let's go, honey.
- Here bro, got you a bit of everything.
- I hear congratulations
are in order, Rey.
Rey got himself a promotion.
Whoa! Wow!
- It's nothing, it's-
- He's being modest.
Rey's working in a top
office with all the big boys,
aren't you, Rey?
- Hey, so that means
you get more money, hey?
Don't say that.
- Yeah, it's private.
- Wish your crush on Rey was private.
- I don't like Rey.
I mean, I do.
- Look where you're sitting,
you're practically on top of him.
- Ah.
- Hey, give him some space.
- Everybody raise your glasses
to Rey and his new promotion.
Moving up in the world, yeah.
Rey!
- Malo Rey!
- Malo Rey!
- He's my best friend, not yours.
He my best friend.
- I, um, I, I quit.
- You what?
- I quit.
- What do you mean you quit?
- Look, Rey, I think it's really great-
- Anika.
You quit why?
Why? Because he
sells photocopiers.
Lima, shut your
mouth. It's your last warning.
You're in trouble now.
I talk too much, man.
- Let's raise our glasses again.
To Rey
and new beginnings.
May you find your Mana,
whatever that may be.
Whatever that may be.
- To new beginnings.
What team do you wanna be in?
- Rey!
- Me?
Rey!
- Drew.
- Wade.
- Actually, sis, I'm
gonna play on this team.
- Wow, wow.
Lima.
- Oh, spice, baby.
- Matiu.
Yeah, it's a dream team, baby.
Dream team,
baby, that's what it is.
Kian, how.
- Let's go-
- Uh, good way, Kian.
- Ooh.
Man, shut up.
- Oh yeah, is that how we gonna play it?
Well, stuff you's all,
I'm gonna be the referee.
I want a nice, clean game.
Ardi, I'm looking at you.
- Nah, what did I do?
- Just shut it! Shut your mouth!
Shut your teeth, and your face!
Your ears, your eyes, your nose!
Especially your nose.
Now this year we got Rey playing
with us for the first time,
he doesn't know the rules,
doesn't have the game
in his blood like we do.
So just take it easy on him, okay?
Are you sniggering, Ardi?
- Oh no, no, I was just-
- Oh, are you hungry? Do
you want a Snickers bar?
- No, sorry, uncle.
We all remember your first game, Ardi.
Yeah, yeah, I remember it.
You got the ball and ran the
other way like a dumb ass.
- But I was, I was four.
- Yeah, like a dumb ass from Damascus.
Are you from Damascus?
Now let's get this on,
'cause we don't get along.
Let's play.
- You know, I just wanted to say Rey,
I think it's really brave what you did.
Quitting, I mean.
- Thank you, thank you, Anika.
- No, but I mean it, Rey.
Not many people have the courage to quit
when they have nothing else
going for them in life.
No? Come on, you ready?
Madeo, Madeo!
- Oh, Wade.
Wade!
Wade, Wade, Wade!
Rey, stay with us!
Rey, stay with us, Rey!
- I'm sorry, Rey, I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over me.
I've been repressing a lot of
like deep abandonment issues
since I found out that
you left the office.
- No, you found out two hours ago.
- Well, we're both
sensitive souls, aren't we?
We're both sensitive.
You know how emotional I get, right?
I think he's giving
you the finger there.
- That's 'cause it's broken.
Let's look at the positive,
think of it this way.
Anika was actually kinda
turned off by the screeches
and the, the, the, the screams of agony.
We're almost there,
Rey. We're almost there.
Rey, we are almost there.
Uncle, drive!
- Run it straight, why
did you run it straight?
You didn't have to run it straight, Rey.
- No, you didn't have
to hit him with that.
- I can't pull up, it's rugby.
- No, you went for him.
- If you run that straight, it's contact.
- If he dies, this is all your fault.
- I just couldn't pull up.
- When the doctor comes, you
better tell 'em it was you,
you and your issues.
- You know what, I own my mistakes.
Thank you, Ardi.
- Quiet, quiet, these are doctors.
- Nah, man.
- I can't, I can't-
- Good morning.
- Yeah, morning.
- Who's the patient?
All right, let's have a look now.
Ah, sweet Hippocrates that's,
that really is something.
Holly? Yeah, okay, yeah.
- Did, did he just?
- Ah, man, I'll get to the bottom of this.
There's something weird
about this thing, man.
- Okay, let's have a look,
which hand are we looking at?
- Sorry?
- Which, which hand? They
both look pretty good to me.
- Well, thank you.
Ah, you know, your hands are pretty-
Ah, it's my friend.
- Linda.
- Linda? What the?
- Rey? Is there something
you're not telling us?
- Rey? I guess that makes sense.
You look like a Rey more than a Linda.
Looks like a crybaby.
- Should I have a look, then?
Ooh, how exactly did
you manage to do this?
- Yeah, about that, listen,
it happened real fast.
- Rey here is the unfortunate victim
of suppressed abandonment issues.
- I see, you know, you were
right about those staples.
Lexman 25A's.
- Actually, I never got the-
Oh, god, oh, god.
- Oh, my sweet Jesus.
- Come on, Rey, just breathe.
- Sweet Jesus.
- Isn't it ironic?
You know, if I didn't tackle
you and dislocate your finger,
you wouldn't have, been
able to be reunited with-
- Shh.
Rey, she likes you, so go
inside and ask her out.
- Yeah, come on, Rey, you got this.
- Yeah, Rey, you got this.
- Come on Rey.
- You got this, man.
- Go
- That's my boy.
Yes, work that strut Rey!
Go get her Rey!
Maybe we should go move his legs?
Bro, that's your friend.
- Anyway, at least you started strong.
Rey, what the
hell happened, dude?
I can't. I'm not ready.
- Bro, you really gotta work on your Mana.
Stupid.
Ah, Terry, are
you sure about this?
- Absolutely, thanks again for this, Joe.
- Ah, no problem, Terry.
You blokes were actually doing me a favor.
I'm staging a comeback.
- A comeback?
- Next Friday against the Mountain!
- The Mountain? You sure, Joe?
He's a third your age and twice your size.
- He's got a third of my
experience and he's twice as slow.
- All right.
Well, let's get down to business.
- The only business will
be me kicking his ass!
- Yeah, settle down, Joe.
- You ready, Rey?
- No.
- Trial by fire.
- And that fire is me.
- Oh, come on, Rey.
Rey, you got this!
- Come on, you mongrel.
- Joe, take it easy, Joe.
- Come on, man!
- Joe, get off him.
Get off him, Joe! Heel, Joe, heel!
Terry, Terry, help!
Terry! Ah! I can't breathe!
- Now that was close.
- Yeah.
- You all right?
- Joe?
Joe?
- I'll get the car.
- The doctor says it's just
a case of mild concussion.
He'll be fine.
But, Joe, this does mean the comeback tour
may have to wait a little.
- What, for a bit of concussion?
I've had more concussions than I can re-
Anyway, if you think
I'm gonna put my career-
- All right, Joe, thanks.
Wade, would you help me
get Joe back into the car?
- Wow. You keep, how do I
say this, eclectic company.
How's your hand? Spread your fingers.
Have you experienced any mobility issues?
- Mobility?
- Have you had any difficulty,
say, holding a cup of coffee?
- I actually, I drink my
coffee with my left hand, so.
- Would you maybe-
- Like to-
- Grab a cup of coffee?
There you go.
Yeah, I would. Would
tomorrow work, say five?
- Yup.
- Here.
- Thank you.
I-
- Holly, someone spilled coffee
all over Mr. Berch's results.
- Okay.
I better get back to it.
- I will, see you tomorrow,
Holly Hoffman.
- Looking forward to it, Rey.
Or is it Linda?
- Ah, it, it's Rey.
- Okay, well, this is somewhat awkward.
It appears the coroner
was a little premature
in declaring Linda dead.
Clearly she is not.
So, Rey, as much as we'd
love to have you back,
it won't be as the head of sales floor.
- Okay.
- And how does that make you feel, Rey?
- Confused.
- Confused?
Try waking up in a body bag,
then coming back to work
and realizing your office
has been given away
to someone else.
- And how did that-
- How did that make you feel, Linda?
- Claustrophobic and a little undervalued.
- Of course, maybe you should
write this down, Steph.
I just wanna make one thing clear,
that this is in no way a race thing.
This is simply a Linda
not being dead thing.
Just out of curiosity though, Rey,
what, what's your background?
Like, are you Lebanese?
I think he's Maltese.
Indian, maybe.
- No, he looks like he
might be one of those,
you know, those-
- I think he's Maltese.
- Maltese? Never heard of it.
- I spent some time in Morocco
and he reminds me of a
Moroccan pool boy that I once-
- I, I think it's a good time
to wrap things up. Rodney?
- Yes.
- What was heaven like?
- I didn't go to heaven.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Good to have you back, Rey.
What a waste.
I can't believe
you live with that, Steph.
Have you ever tried to take a sneaky-
- Oh, it's nice to see
that my sexual harassment
workshop rubbed off.
- What was that?
- Rubbed off.
- I remember when they used
to look at me like that.
That was before he started
working here, whatever.
- Ladies, Rey, Wade.
- Rico.
Oh, what a beautiful bottom.
- Congratulations, Rey, you did it.
- Sorry?
- I heard you quit.
- Ah, didn't take.
- Maybe next time?
- Rice paper roll?
- All right, Rey.
You wanna know what wrestling
has to do with Mana?
See, wrestling's not just about strong men
flinging each other out the ring, Rey.
It's about presence
and charisma and power,
all of which you lack severely.
Now, Rey, close your eyes
and picture an animal.
- What's the point in this?
- Well, it's like when Mr. Miyagi
made Ralph Macchio paint his front fence.
Or when that little green
fella convinced Luke Skywalker
that he was suffering dementia.
The point will reveal itself in time.
Now I want you to close your eyes, Rey.
What do you see?
- Uh, an axolotl.
- What now?
- An uh, axo, axol-
- Rey, I'm gonna make this simple.
I'm gonna call out an animal,
and you're gonna take that animal on.
- Take it on?
- You're gonna become
that animal. You got it?
Now shut your eyes.
A dog.
- Rough? Rough what? Rough
day? Rough childhood?
Come on, Rey, I'm gonna
need more than that.
- A bull.
- A lion.
- A silverback.
That's it, Rey. Now I
want you to yell at me.
- Ah.
- Come on, Rey.
- Just shut up, shut up.
- Come on, Rey! Give it to me, Rey!
- Shut up! All right,
everyone just shut up!
If I wanted a rice paper
roll, I'd order one!
And I appreciate the
effort that you've gone to,
but I'm not wearing that ridiculous suit!
And get off the phone and
listen to the technical specs!
And pay for the damn paternity test!
And you, if you wanna
make love to my mother,
at least have to decency to
wait until I've left the room.
- Yes, Rey, now hit me!
Maybe that's what Mana feels like.
Sorry, Terry.
- That's it, Rey.
Did you feel it? The fire?
- Yeah.
Here endeth today's lesson, Rey.
Hello, Holly
Hoffman. It's Rey, Linda Rey.
Oh, actually it, it's just Rey.
I'm just calling to let you know
that I'm really looking
forward to seeing you.
- Sorry about this.
I was meant to be working tonight,
but then Jeanie backed over
a woman in a wheelchair
this morning when she arrived
for work, so I'm on a double.
- Is she okay?
- Mm, I think so.
She only asked for the afternoon off, so.
- No, I meant the woman in the-
- Oh, right. Yeah, she's fine.
The chair took the brunt of
it, happened just over there.
Anyway, you can pick the next place.
- The tea room in my
office is pretty nice.
Funny.
So you sell photocopiers.
- Well, I did, then I quit.
- What do you do now?
- I sell photocopiers.
- Don't mind me.
- So, what made you want to be a nurse?
- My mum.
When I was really young, she had leukemia.
It's funny, I don't
remember much about her,
but what I do remember were the nurses
and just how amazing they were.
Even after, you know.
So, the only thing I
wanted to be was a nurse.
- My dad died when I was young.
- What happened?
- He drowned,
he was an opal diver.
Well, that's what my mom told me.
- You do know that you
don't dive for opals?
- Yeah, I know.
- So I don't really know
that many people in town
and I was wondering,
there's this dance happening...
Sorry, I gotta take this.
What do you say, though?
- About, the?
- The dance, it's on Friday.
I can, I can just text you the details.
- I, yeah.
Okay.
- Hot dog?
- No thank you.
- You're learning the flamenco, Rey?
One flamenco DVD coming right up.
- And one rice paper roll.
- Sorry, bro, I don't think I
could teach you these moves.
But I think I know someone who can.
And, I like big people, and
write down skinny people,
skinny people, too.
Yep.
I think it says unsure-
- I like fish and chips.
- Wade?
- Make sure I like dogs.
- Rey? What are you?
- Hi, Steph, we were
just in the neighborhood
and I just thought I'd come
and drop off my diversity
and exclusiveness survey.
- Oh, oh, no, that could
have waited 'til Monday.
- Yeah, but I knew how
important this was to you,
so I thought I'd get it to
you as soon as possible,
but Monday's fine.
- No, no. No, it's okay, I'll take it now.
Thank you, Steph.
- Great.
- Oh.
There is one more thing, though.
- Rey, Wade.
- Rico.
- And why exactly do you
think I can teach to Rey
the flamenco, hm?
Because I am gay? Or because
I am of Spanish descent?
- Spanish descent, Spanish.
- Spanish descent mainly, but
I was thinking like 70/30.
- You see that?
That there, that there is the passion,
and passion is the very
heart of the flamenco dance.
Rey, vamos.
- Rey, vamos.
- I can see it in your eyes, Rey.
No, it is not the fire that you lack.
No, it is the confidence.
Take a seat.
- Ooh, you that good? All right.
- Wade.
- Rico.
- You see the difference, Rey?
You don't need me
or anyone to teach you
how to do the flamenco.
No, you have everything
you need right inside you.
But it is up to you, to
grab the bull by the horns.
- Oh, whoa.
Bro, that's what I was
trying to teach him.
Well, not the bull
part, but the same gist.
You're all right, bro.
Damn it!
Stuff this.
You know, what is he thinking?
He's gonna get this girl?
He'd better get this girl.
Give him my car.
Mr Romeo.
The sacrifices I make.
- Hey, Rey, it's it's me again, Holly.
I'm still at the dance,
I hope everything's okay.
- He just clocked on and sat
there, he hasn't moved since.
- Look at the way he's
eating that sandwich.
Such sadness.
- Mm, this is delicious.
What do you call this, doll?
- Goulash.
- Goulash.
Well, it tastes better than it sounds.
Rey?
- Would you excuse us, love?
Rey and I have got some
men stuff to attend to.
- Is this the men stuff?
- This is it, Rey.
Good day, Rey.
I just rang to see how the
search for your Mana is going?
Also, we, we've gotta make
a quick stop tomorrow,
I'll pick you up.
It's Wade, by the way,
from work,
and childhood.
Patty cake, hopscotch, jump rope.
I miss you, bro.
Call me back, love you, bye.
Rey, Rey.
- What, what're we doing here?
- Relax, bro, we just need
to drop off this copier.
- Ah, yeah.
- Rey, don't make me carry it.
All right, bro? Hands on.
Watch your step, maybe we should-
- Game face on, game face on.
I'll do the talking, don't talk too much,
don't blink too much, Rey.
Stay low, lets go.
Excuse me.
- Yes, how can I help you?
- I'm here to bring the new copier.
- No one here ordered a new photocopier.
Are you sure you're in the right place?
- Oh, is this not the
Pritchard Medical Center?
- It is, but as you can see.
- Thank you for your time.
Back it up, Rey.
Smile and wave, Rey, smile and wave.
Don't worry about it, think
of it as like, you know,
we gave it a crack.
I mean, think of it this way,
you still got a good thing
going on at the store.
I mean, you got like 10 years in you, 20.
Look at Linda, she died and
then she came back to the store.
Maybe you wanna settle down.
If you sell one of these
a week and just relax,
settle down, you'll do all right.
I don't wanna pry into
your business, though,
but you're not getting any younger.
And Anika, she's my sister and all that.
She's known you since primary school.
Think about it, little Reys.
Little Anikas, little Ranikas.
Rey?
- Holly?
- Sir, you can't go back there.
- Whoa.
Holly, Holly!
- Rey? What're you doing?
- About the other night,
I just want you to know that,
that I know that I know that I-
- Okay, Rey. Now is
really not a good time.
- I was there, all right?
I, I saw you standing there and I just...
Linda had a heart attack, and Wade,
he really wants the best for me,
but I'm just, the pressure is, it's a-
- You just left me there,
Rey. That's not okay.
Look, you really have to go.
- I'm sorry.
I'm fighting the Mountain 7pm Friday.
- That's great, Rey.
I would really,
I want you there.
- I'll think about it.
- You will?
Okay, okay.
- What?
- I want in.
- Hm?
- I want Joe's spot, I
wanna fight the Mountain.
- You think you can take on the Mountain?
Look at you, Rey.
- I-
- You're out of
breath just thinking about it.
- I rode my bike here
really fast.
Up a hill.
- Now listen to me, Rey.
Thing about the Mountain
is, well, he's a mountain.
And you, son, you're more of a wet noodle,
delicious in a carbonara, but
useless in a confrontation.
- I-
- You got guts, Rey, I'll give you that.
But the fight's this week,
there just isn't time.
- Terry, I, I,
I want this.
- You really want in?
- Let me hear you say it.
- I want this.
- Louder!
- I want this!
- Louder!
- I want this!
- There he is, the animal.
Training starts in the morning.
- Death, stare at it, Rey.
Fight it, Rey, fight it,
Rey! You can do it, Rey!
- You can do it. Come on, Rey.
Keep going.
- Okay, that's enough, settle down.
Okay, now I know it's been a long week
and we all wanna get back to our partners.
Well, 'cept for you Rey and you, Linda
and you too, Prue and Steve.
Wow, really are a lonely bunch, aren't we?
Which brings me to my next point,
and why it's important that, as a family,
we all support each other, yeah?
- Are we handing these
things out now, or not?
- Did you want me to come out now, or?
- Ah, well it's too late now, isn't it?
Surprise is bloody ruined,
it's called showmanship, Geoffrey.
- Actually Rodney,
the socially inclusive
term is showpersonship.
- Thank you for that, Wade.
Steph, I feel you
should've been on to that.
The reason we're here today,
is because I have an exciting
announcement to make.
Tonight Rey will be wrestling
in his very first match!
And, and I think it's
important as a family unit
that we all support Rey
by taking one of these
custom design T-shirts at $50 a pop.
- Hey?
- So, Rodney, I don't
understand. Rey is a chimp?
- Stephanie, as head of HR,
I expected a little bit more from you.
I'd really like to apologize, Rey.
Oh, damn it, Prue!
- I just wrote down
exactly what Wade told me.
- Bro, I said champ, not chimp.
- Yeah, okay, it doesn't
matter what the T-shirt says.
What matters is, is that it's important
that we all take one,
as it will be deducted
from next week's paycheck.
- Oh, is that right? I didn't know that.
- Hey, hey!
Yay, go Rey!
- It's from your mum and me.
You got this, Rey.
- Thanks, Terry.
- Go get 'em, son.
- Thanks, Mum.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade.
Wade.
- What?
- I've got this.
- Yeah, you do.
- Hey, it's Rey!
- He's here!
- Go Rey!
- Come on, Rey!
- Yeah, I'm gonna make
mince meat outta you, boy.
Come on, you belong to me, Rey.
I'm gonna make you into a T-bone, boy.
I'm gonna dice you up real good.
Come on, Rey, come on.
- Get outta there, you bastard.
- Yeah, who's the man? I'm the man.
- Where's Holly?
- Don't worry about Holly,
I want you to focus now.
This is your time, your
Mana. Don't forget that.
- He's a big tub of lard
Rey, nice, soft for you.
- And now, for the final
event of the evening,
proudly supported by Copy
That Printing Services,
I give you Rey, the Lightning Kid.
- Let's go, Rey!
You suck, you suck, bro!
And his opponent for tonight.
By day you know him as
Bruce the local butcher,
but by night,
he is the Mountain!
- Where is she?
- Who?
- Holly.
- Not now, Rey.
- Are you ready, gentlemen? Ring the bell!
- Come on, I got you, bro.
I'm gonna tear you apart.
- Come on, Rey, you'll get it!
- Go, Rey!
- Holly.
This was it, the final test.
The Mountain, the mecca of Mana.
Now all I had to do was put
him in a Russian side headlock
and choke him out.
Some people are born great,
some achieve greatness,
and others have greatness
thrust upon them.
- Rah!
And then there's me.
Yay!
- No, get up.
- He's really good.
- Damn it, Rey!
Get up! Get up!
- Rey get up!
- Rey.
Rey.
Hey, buddy.
- Holly?
- Yeah, she's not here, bro.
- Where is she?
- She saw what happened,
and she's gonna meet us at
the hospital, ya egg.
Hey, she wanted you to have this, though.
- What a day to be alive.
- You're the man, Rey.
I'm working on it.
- John?
We're going again.
- For John.
- I think it's a good
time to wrap things up.
Don't you, Rodney?
- Yeah.
- I once woke up in a body bag.
I will never drink Fanta again.
I woke up in a body bag once.
Worst christening ever.
- He's from Strickland Avenue.
I go past his house all the time.
All the time.
My mum lives in Malta with Bjorn.
- It's going well.
The brakes, the brakes were on.
You broke character.
- You know, he really wants
the best for me and I just,
the pressure was-
- You just left me there, Rey.
That's not okay, you have to go.
- The light went off.
- Aw!
I want this.
- You really want this?
I-
- This is the worst take
I've ever done in my life.
Still rolling,
we'll just pick it up,
we still rolling, we'll pick
it up from "I want this."
- The reason we're here today,
is because I have an exciting
announcement to make.
Tonight, Geoffrey will be wrestling.
Ah!
That's one for the blooper reel.
- Ah!
Some people are born great.
- Rah!
Rah!
Rah!
Some achieve greatness.
And others have greatness
thrust upon them.
And then there's me.
I always saw my life turning
out a little different
than it did.
Not better or worse,
just different.
Wade says "There comes a time as a man
when you realize who you are."
And me?
I'm still working on it.
- Good day, Rey.
- Good day, Rey.
Just the usual?
Or would you like to try
our rice paper roll today?
- Just the usual.
- Just the usual, one
tuna sandwich coming up.
- You don't know what you're missing.
Dad always said
I could do anything
I put my mind to.
Terry says, "If you really want something,
put it in a Russian side
headlock and choke it out.
That's what men do."
- What a day to be alive.
I'm working on it.
- Welcome to photocopying excellence.
In today's fast paced economy,
you need to know that your-
- Your paper is in the right hands.
Welcome to the world of
photocopying excellence.
In today's fast paced business economy,
it's important to know
that your paper is in the-
- Rey, psst, Rey.
Sorry to bother you,
I just wanna calm your
fashion nerves, buddy.
- My-
- Your fashion nerves, for tonight.
The bi-annual office party?
- Yeah, I actually, I've got this-
- That's awesome, hey listen, I hear ya,
but also I feel ya, that's more important.
Check these bad boys out.
What do you reckon?
Do they scream Mana or what?
- Mana, I-
- Mana!
- Hi boys, are you excited
for, ooh, are they for tonight?
- They certainly are.
What do you reckon, Steph?
- They are very intense.
- Intense.
Yeah, intense.
Thanks Steph, told ya.
- I.
- Hm?
- Thanks, I like.
- Yes, I knew you would
bro, we're gonna kill it.
- I'll see you guys later.
Oh, actually, sorry boys.
Can we make sure that we
fill out our diversity
and inclusiveness surveys?
I spoke about it at the staff meeting,
sent an email reminding you
that the completion is compulsory.
- Uh, yeah,
the diversity and exclusiveness survey.
Yep, I'll have that on
your desk by the morning.
- Great, thank you, Wade.
I'll see you guys later.
- Bye, Steph.
- Rey!
- Huh?
- Hit the dance floor
in this attire tonight,
and I guarantee you, you're
gonna kill it, all right?
Rey, focus.
This is your moment, your Mana.
All right, I'll pick you up at five,
very nice.
- Oh, I'm good, thank you.
- Now, where is that little Latino?
Next stop, Spain.
- Rico thinks he's the
king of the dance floor.
Since when does the water
delivery boy get an invite
to our office party, Rey?
Rey, what are you doing sitting here?
- I don't wanna lose my seat.
- Wait, you're sitting here
wasting this suit, hey?
We gotta get your Mana on.
I just wanna tear it up with my boy.
Don't you wanna tear it up with your boy?
Look at him and his bloody posture.
Low body fat percentage,
he hasn't had a
carbohydrate for four years.
Rey, what is it?
- I can't dance, Wade.
- Everyone can dance, Rey.
- Not me.
- Rey.
- What?
- I'm gonna teach you to dance.
- I-
- Look at this guy,
you're dancing tonight.
- I have to look after the tank.
- What?
- The-
- The what? I can't, what
are you talking about?
- Linda wants me to look after the tank.
- You're talking, that's your problem.
- Wade.
- Let's go.
Rey, come here.
It's just us, there's nobody here.
It's just us, come on.
Scratch that, Geoffrey's
coming, act natural.
- What are you two boys
doing down here, hm?
- Just getting some fresh air.
- Oh, mind if I join you?
- Actually, Geoffrey-
- That would be yep, yeah, please.
- How good are chips?
They've got chicken ones in there, fancy.
I just did a wee before, so.
Won't need to go again
for a while, so it's good.
Well, that's enough of me,
I'll see boys in there, okay?
- The heck did he come from?
Rey, you're dancing
tonight, you can do it.
We're gonna get your Mana on, bro.
- My?
- Your Mana.
How long we known each other?
- A long time.
- Primary school, high
school, present day.
We're gonna do this together, hey?
I've always had your back.
Haven't I always had your back?
- Yeah, but you ate my lunch.
- That's beside the point.
We're here now, and I want you to dance.
Before we start, let me see
what you're working with.
- Ah.
- Bro, come on. It's just us, nobody here.
Let's go.
Hey, we can only go up from here, right?
I'ma teach you the basics
and you're gonna do it right, trust me.
Together, Rey, Rey, focus, eyes.
Step, together, step, together,
step, together, that's it.
Ah, yeah, you can lean
back, ah, hey, yeah.
Uh, uh, uh.
All right, cool, cool, cool.
Surf, surf, go low, boom.
There we go, there you,
yep, crouching tiger.
Move your weight, there, down,
down. you look like a bird.
Down there, arms down, here
we go, here we go, bruh.
Hit a wave, hit a wave, Rey.
There we go, boom.
- I can't, I-
- Yes you can, come on.
We be hanging, we be hanging, Rey.
There we go, there, yeah, that's close.
All right, and in case a slow jam comes...
Dude, we don't have much time.
Case the slow jam comes on,
you stay in close, all right?
I want you to lead, but at
the same time be respectful.
Just keep your hands here,
she'll put her hands up here.
- Should we-
- Shh, just relax, just relax.
It'll happen, same thing, two step.
Eyes up, eyes up, keep your eyes up.
There you go, you feel that?
- Yeah.
- Relax.
How'd that feel?
- It, uh, felt nice.
Yeah? You're ready.
- So where'd you boys sneak off to?
- Sorry, Steph, I can't talk right now.
- What do you mean?
- It's happening.
What's, oh.
- Those moves aren't from my arsenal.
She's having a heart attack,
crew, call an ambulance!
- Well, between Rodney
propositioning the intern,
Pru spiking the punch
and Linda's heart attack,
it's fair to say I have
my work cut out for me
Monday morning.
Well, it's better
than last year's party.
- Which one?
What will it be today?
- Just the usual.
- The fate of us all.
Morning, Rey, in every sense.
- Sorry?
- Sorry, I thought you knew.
Last night, Linda passed away.
Myocardial infarction, nasty business.
They say it's easier when
you know it's coming.
If only we had some sort of sign.
Anyway, you know what
they say, life goes on.
So congratulations Rey,
you're our new floor manager.
- I-
- And wow.
You deserve it.
Don't worry, we'll get
you your own printed up
the end of the financial year.
Until then, you're gonna have to make do.
- Oh, actually, Rodney,
I've got a pretty good
thing going on here.
Good one Rey,
I needed that, mate.
I needed that.
- Rey!
You wrestle, Rey?
- I-
- Keep still.
I was telling Terry how
when you were little,
your dream was to become
a wrestler, remember?
You even had a name.
What was it? The Thunder Boy?
- The Lightning Kid.
- That's right, you were so adorable.
Remember I made you a little cape?
Terry is a three-time wrestling champion.
- '81, '82, and '85.
- What happened in '83, '84, huh?
- '83, civil war broke out in Zimbabwe.
'84, Apple released the Macintosh,
forever changing the tech industry.
- I meant-
- I know what you meant, Rey.
After securing back-to-back titles,
I started enjoying myself
a little bit too much.
And one night I wrapped my
car around a power pole.
- Sorry I, I didn't know.
Why would ya?
- Well, that's enough for now.
I have run out of flesh colored paint.
- So tell me, Rey, what are
your plans for Valentine's Day?
- I invited him to join us,
I didn't want him to be alone.
- Oh, what business does
he have being alone?
Surely he's surrounded by
attractive women on a daily basis.
Given your line of work, I mean.
- Dunno what you mean.
- Hmm, well, that's surprising.
I guess the photocopier
business isn't as glamorous
as they make it out in
the movies.
- Terry is just teasing.
- In all seriousness though Rey,
Morine mentioned you
might need a few pointers.
- Pointers? What kind of pointers?
- The romantic kind.
Terry is quite talented in
that department.
- Actually, I-
- Before you make up your mind, Rey,
I want you to do something for me.
Look at me, Rey.
Now look at your mother.
What do you see?
I'll tell you what I see.
I see one of the most
intelligent,
thoughtful,
caring,
sensual,
provocative!
- Oh, Terry.
- Arousing woman that's ever
been my pleasure to meet.
Oh, not in front of Rey.
Not in front of Rey.
Sorry, Rey.
I guess I got a little carried away there.
But if I could-
Rey?
I thought that went
well for the most part.
- I'm gonna need more flesh
colored paint than I thought.
- Hello?
Hello?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Just after staples.
Reception ran out and apparently
picking up office supplies
falls within my job description.
- Ah, do you,
do you know what size
staples you're after?
- No, although they, they gave me this,
so I can.
Oh, ah, oh.
- The Lexman 25A.
- You know your staples.
- With today's fast-paced
business economy,
it's important to know
that your staples are in the right hands.
- Right, ah great.
Well, could I get maybe
two cartons of the-
- Lexman 25A
- Lexman 25A's.
- Yep, ah.
25, 25, 22, 21, 20, 25.
- Thank you so much for your help.
Maybe I'll see you next
time I come in, Linda.
- Oh, I'm actually not, ah damn it.
Come on.
I'm Rey.
That's $39.40 too.
Ah, damn it.
Scientifically
developed, just 30 seconds a day
with Heavy Grip Hand Gripers
will take you from this,
to this.
What are you waiting for?
Order now and we'll knock
a whopping 12% off the cost
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Results may vary.
- Morning, Rey.
- Oh! Ah, Terry.
Is everything all right?
- Yeah, yeah. I just wanted a quick word.
- I can't, maybe later.
- Your mother wants us
to spend some quality time together, Rey.
- Yep.
- It's, it's important to her that,
that we bond.
- What, am I made of
paternity tests over here?
You're the guy I come to
to make this stuff go away.
No, I've been saying that since day dot,
and I don't know what we're
arguing about, to be honest.
At the end of the day,
it's a matter of swings
and roundabouts, and I've
been saying that, you know,
since the dawn of civilization,
virtually, you know-
- Welcome to a world of
photocopying excellence.
In today's fast-paced business economy-
- Sorry, just a second, just a second.
Hey, makes copies, yeah?
- They all do, yeah.
I'll take two, back of
the truck, let's roll.
Well, you know, if she's so
certain she can pay for it.
How's that feel?
- With state of the art-
- Hang on a second, hang on a second.
That's a great pitch
guy, I'm sold, I'm in.
Bring the truck around,
let's open the pod doors Hal.
- I haven't done the technical-
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's all down on the pamphlet,
I grabbed one on the way.
How much are they?
No, no, no, I'm talking to him.
What's your name?
- Rey.
- I'm talking to Rey.
Rey Star, the Death Rey, Reymond.
Rey, it's printed right
down at the bottom.
You're an expendable
asset, I'm having some fun.
Listen, let, no, no, no,
I'm talking to you now.
I'm not talking to Rey.
I'm saying, let's lock and load on this,
let's get in the kill zone.
Of course I'm not saying
I wanna whack her,
I'm saying I want it sorted out.
Let's have a round table
discussion about it.
Any table, it doesn't have to be round.
I'm saying that-
So, bro, how's the new office?
Aw, cheer up bro, it's Valentine's Day.
Bro, what are you doing?
If I was gonna find my Mana,
I had to surround myself with it.
- What is he doing out there?
People are gonna think he's a pervert.
That's it, I'm inviting him in.
- Morine, he'll do this in his own time.
- Rey.
- Terry, ah, I thought
about your, your offer,
the romantic one.
Something's come up
and I think you can help me find my Mana.
- I'm not quite sure what that is,
but I think I know just the thing.
- Okay, Rey hasn't been himself
at work lately, hey, boys?
I think this will be good for him.
I'm gonna go pick him up.
- You hear that, boys?
Rey isn't well, so there
will be no talk of Anika.
- It's not our fault that
she's in love with him.
Or that she wants his-
- Boys! That's enough.
Rey! Ah, still rocking the shirt.
You know Anika's gonna love that shirt.
Listen, we got a
barbecue, we've got beers.
Mate, you'll be fine,
we'll get something to eat.
What are you, hey.
Rey, I'm hungry, let's go.
I gotta change my shirt, Wade.
No, no, no, no, the
shirt's the best bit, Rey.
- I told you Anika's gonna love it.
Be good, boys.
You all right? Now let's go eat.
Whoo.
Pretty heavy for a little fella.
Nice shirt, Rey.
- Couldn't find my other one.
- Maybe Anika has it.
- Kian!
Let's go, honey.
- Here bro, got you a bit of everything.
- I hear congratulations
are in order, Rey.
Rey got himself a promotion.
Whoa! Wow!
- It's nothing, it's-
- He's being modest.
Rey's working in a top
office with all the big boys,
aren't you, Rey?
- Hey, so that means
you get more money, hey?
Don't say that.
- Yeah, it's private.
- Wish your crush on Rey was private.
- I don't like Rey.
I mean, I do.
- Look where you're sitting,
you're practically on top of him.
- Ah.
- Hey, give him some space.
- Everybody raise your glasses
to Rey and his new promotion.
Moving up in the world, yeah.
Rey!
- Malo Rey!
- Malo Rey!
- He's my best friend, not yours.
He my best friend.
- I, um, I, I quit.
- You what?
- I quit.
- What do you mean you quit?
- Look, Rey, I think it's really great-
- Anika.
You quit why?
Why? Because he
sells photocopiers.
Lima, shut your
mouth. It's your last warning.
You're in trouble now.
I talk too much, man.
- Let's raise our glasses again.
To Rey
and new beginnings.
May you find your Mana,
whatever that may be.
Whatever that may be.
- To new beginnings.
What team do you wanna be in?
- Rey!
- Me?
Rey!
- Drew.
- Wade.
- Actually, sis, I'm
gonna play on this team.
- Wow, wow.
Lima.
- Oh, spice, baby.
- Matiu.
Yeah, it's a dream team, baby.
Dream team,
baby, that's what it is.
Kian, how.
- Let's go-
- Uh, good way, Kian.
- Ooh.
Man, shut up.
- Oh yeah, is that how we gonna play it?
Well, stuff you's all,
I'm gonna be the referee.
I want a nice, clean game.
Ardi, I'm looking at you.
- Nah, what did I do?
- Just shut it! Shut your mouth!
Shut your teeth, and your face!
Your ears, your eyes, your nose!
Especially your nose.
Now this year we got Rey playing
with us for the first time,
he doesn't know the rules,
doesn't have the game
in his blood like we do.
So just take it easy on him, okay?
Are you sniggering, Ardi?
- Oh no, no, I was just-
- Oh, are you hungry? Do
you want a Snickers bar?
- No, sorry, uncle.
We all remember your first game, Ardi.
Yeah, yeah, I remember it.
You got the ball and ran the
other way like a dumb ass.
- But I was, I was four.
- Yeah, like a dumb ass from Damascus.
Are you from Damascus?
Now let's get this on,
'cause we don't get along.
Let's play.
- You know, I just wanted to say Rey,
I think it's really brave what you did.
Quitting, I mean.
- Thank you, thank you, Anika.
- No, but I mean it, Rey.
Not many people have the courage to quit
when they have nothing else
going for them in life.
No? Come on, you ready?
Madeo, Madeo!
- Oh, Wade.
Wade!
Wade, Wade, Wade!
Rey, stay with us!
Rey, stay with us, Rey!
- I'm sorry, Rey, I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over me.
I've been repressing a lot of
like deep abandonment issues
since I found out that
you left the office.
- No, you found out two hours ago.
- Well, we're both
sensitive souls, aren't we?
We're both sensitive.
You know how emotional I get, right?
I think he's giving
you the finger there.
- That's 'cause it's broken.
Let's look at the positive,
think of it this way.
Anika was actually kinda
turned off by the screeches
and the, the, the, the screams of agony.
We're almost there,
Rey. We're almost there.
Rey, we are almost there.
Uncle, drive!
- Run it straight, why
did you run it straight?
You didn't have to run it straight, Rey.
- No, you didn't have
to hit him with that.
- I can't pull up, it's rugby.
- No, you went for him.
- If you run that straight, it's contact.
- If he dies, this is all your fault.
- I just couldn't pull up.
- When the doctor comes, you
better tell 'em it was you,
you and your issues.
- You know what, I own my mistakes.
Thank you, Ardi.
- Quiet, quiet, these are doctors.
- Nah, man.
- I can't, I can't-
- Good morning.
- Yeah, morning.
- Who's the patient?
All right, let's have a look now.
Ah, sweet Hippocrates that's,
that really is something.
Holly? Yeah, okay, yeah.
- Did, did he just?
- Ah, man, I'll get to the bottom of this.
There's something weird
about this thing, man.
- Okay, let's have a look,
which hand are we looking at?
- Sorry?
- Which, which hand? They
both look pretty good to me.
- Well, thank you.
Ah, you know, your hands are pretty-
Ah, it's my friend.
- Linda.
- Linda? What the?
- Rey? Is there something
you're not telling us?
- Rey? I guess that makes sense.
You look like a Rey more than a Linda.
Looks like a crybaby.
- Should I have a look, then?
Ooh, how exactly did
you manage to do this?
- Yeah, about that, listen,
it happened real fast.
- Rey here is the unfortunate victim
of suppressed abandonment issues.
- I see, you know, you were
right about those staples.
Lexman 25A's.
- Actually, I never got the-
Oh, god, oh, god.
- Oh, my sweet Jesus.
- Come on, Rey, just breathe.
- Sweet Jesus.
- Isn't it ironic?
You know, if I didn't tackle
you and dislocate your finger,
you wouldn't have, been
able to be reunited with-
- Shh.
Rey, she likes you, so go
inside and ask her out.
- Yeah, come on, Rey, you got this.
- Yeah, Rey, you got this.
- Come on Rey.
- You got this, man.
- Go
- That's my boy.
Yes, work that strut Rey!
Go get her Rey!
Maybe we should go move his legs?
Bro, that's your friend.
- Anyway, at least you started strong.
Rey, what the
hell happened, dude?
I can't. I'm not ready.
- Bro, you really gotta work on your Mana.
Stupid.
Ah, Terry, are
you sure about this?
- Absolutely, thanks again for this, Joe.
- Ah, no problem, Terry.
You blokes were actually doing me a favor.
I'm staging a comeback.
- A comeback?
- Next Friday against the Mountain!
- The Mountain? You sure, Joe?
He's a third your age and twice your size.
- He's got a third of my
experience and he's twice as slow.
- All right.
Well, let's get down to business.
- The only business will
be me kicking his ass!
- Yeah, settle down, Joe.
- You ready, Rey?
- No.
- Trial by fire.
- And that fire is me.
- Oh, come on, Rey.
Rey, you got this!
- Come on, you mongrel.
- Joe, take it easy, Joe.
- Come on, man!
- Joe, get off him.
Get off him, Joe! Heel, Joe, heel!
Terry, Terry, help!
Terry! Ah! I can't breathe!
- Now that was close.
- Yeah.
- You all right?
- Joe?
Joe?
- I'll get the car.
- The doctor says it's just
a case of mild concussion.
He'll be fine.
But, Joe, this does mean the comeback tour
may have to wait a little.
- What, for a bit of concussion?
I've had more concussions than I can re-
Anyway, if you think
I'm gonna put my career-
- All right, Joe, thanks.
Wade, would you help me
get Joe back into the car?
- Wow. You keep, how do I
say this, eclectic company.
How's your hand? Spread your fingers.
Have you experienced any mobility issues?
- Mobility?
- Have you had any difficulty,
say, holding a cup of coffee?
- I actually, I drink my
coffee with my left hand, so.
- Would you maybe-
- Like to-
- Grab a cup of coffee?
There you go.
Yeah, I would. Would
tomorrow work, say five?
- Yup.
- Here.
- Thank you.
I-
- Holly, someone spilled coffee
all over Mr. Berch's results.
- Okay.
I better get back to it.
- I will, see you tomorrow,
Holly Hoffman.
- Looking forward to it, Rey.
Or is it Linda?
- Ah, it, it's Rey.
- Okay, well, this is somewhat awkward.
It appears the coroner
was a little premature
in declaring Linda dead.
Clearly she is not.
So, Rey, as much as we'd
love to have you back,
it won't be as the head of sales floor.
- Okay.
- And how does that make you feel, Rey?
- Confused.
- Confused?
Try waking up in a body bag,
then coming back to work
and realizing your office
has been given away
to someone else.
- And how did that-
- How did that make you feel, Linda?
- Claustrophobic and a little undervalued.
- Of course, maybe you should
write this down, Steph.
I just wanna make one thing clear,
that this is in no way a race thing.
This is simply a Linda
not being dead thing.
Just out of curiosity though, Rey,
what, what's your background?
Like, are you Lebanese?
I think he's Maltese.
Indian, maybe.
- No, he looks like he
might be one of those,
you know, those-
- I think he's Maltese.
- Maltese? Never heard of it.
- I spent some time in Morocco
and he reminds me of a
Moroccan pool boy that I once-
- I, I think it's a good time
to wrap things up. Rodney?
- Yes.
- What was heaven like?
- I didn't go to heaven.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Good to have you back, Rey.
What a waste.
I can't believe
you live with that, Steph.
Have you ever tried to take a sneaky-
- Oh, it's nice to see
that my sexual harassment
workshop rubbed off.
- What was that?
- Rubbed off.
- I remember when they used
to look at me like that.
That was before he started
working here, whatever.
- Ladies, Rey, Wade.
- Rico.
Oh, what a beautiful bottom.
- Congratulations, Rey, you did it.
- Sorry?
- I heard you quit.
- Ah, didn't take.
- Maybe next time?
- Rice paper roll?
- All right, Rey.
You wanna know what wrestling
has to do with Mana?
See, wrestling's not just about strong men
flinging each other out the ring, Rey.
It's about presence
and charisma and power,
all of which you lack severely.
Now, Rey, close your eyes
and picture an animal.
- What's the point in this?
- Well, it's like when Mr. Miyagi
made Ralph Macchio paint his front fence.
Or when that little green
fella convinced Luke Skywalker
that he was suffering dementia.
The point will reveal itself in time.
Now I want you to close your eyes, Rey.
What do you see?
- Uh, an axolotl.
- What now?
- An uh, axo, axol-
- Rey, I'm gonna make this simple.
I'm gonna call out an animal,
and you're gonna take that animal on.
- Take it on?
- You're gonna become
that animal. You got it?
Now shut your eyes.
A dog.
- Rough? Rough what? Rough
day? Rough childhood?
Come on, Rey, I'm gonna
need more than that.
- A bull.
- A lion.
- A silverback.
That's it, Rey. Now I
want you to yell at me.
- Ah.
- Come on, Rey.
- Just shut up, shut up.
- Come on, Rey! Give it to me, Rey!
- Shut up! All right,
everyone just shut up!
If I wanted a rice paper
roll, I'd order one!
And I appreciate the
effort that you've gone to,
but I'm not wearing that ridiculous suit!
And get off the phone and
listen to the technical specs!
And pay for the damn paternity test!
And you, if you wanna
make love to my mother,
at least have to decency to
wait until I've left the room.
- Yes, Rey, now hit me!
Maybe that's what Mana feels like.
Sorry, Terry.
- That's it, Rey.
Did you feel it? The fire?
- Yeah.
Here endeth today's lesson, Rey.
Hello, Holly
Hoffman. It's Rey, Linda Rey.
Oh, actually it, it's just Rey.
I'm just calling to let you know
that I'm really looking
forward to seeing you.
- Sorry about this.
I was meant to be working tonight,
but then Jeanie backed over
a woman in a wheelchair
this morning when she arrived
for work, so I'm on a double.
- Is she okay?
- Mm, I think so.
She only asked for the afternoon off, so.
- No, I meant the woman in the-
- Oh, right. Yeah, she's fine.
The chair took the brunt of
it, happened just over there.
Anyway, you can pick the next place.
- The tea room in my
office is pretty nice.
Funny.
So you sell photocopiers.
- Well, I did, then I quit.
- What do you do now?
- I sell photocopiers.
- Don't mind me.
- So, what made you want to be a nurse?
- My mum.
When I was really young, she had leukemia.
It's funny, I don't
remember much about her,
but what I do remember were the nurses
and just how amazing they were.
Even after, you know.
So, the only thing I
wanted to be was a nurse.
- My dad died when I was young.
- What happened?
- He drowned,
he was an opal diver.
Well, that's what my mom told me.
- You do know that you
don't dive for opals?
- Yeah, I know.
- So I don't really know
that many people in town
and I was wondering,
there's this dance happening...
Sorry, I gotta take this.
What do you say, though?
- About, the?
- The dance, it's on Friday.
I can, I can just text you the details.
- I, yeah.
Okay.
- Hot dog?
- No thank you.
- You're learning the flamenco, Rey?
One flamenco DVD coming right up.
- And one rice paper roll.
- Sorry, bro, I don't think I
could teach you these moves.
But I think I know someone who can.
And, I like big people, and
write down skinny people,
skinny people, too.
Yep.
I think it says unsure-
- I like fish and chips.
- Wade?
- Make sure I like dogs.
- Rey? What are you?
- Hi, Steph, we were
just in the neighborhood
and I just thought I'd come
and drop off my diversity
and exclusiveness survey.
- Oh, oh, no, that could
have waited 'til Monday.
- Yeah, but I knew how
important this was to you,
so I thought I'd get it to
you as soon as possible,
but Monday's fine.
- No, no. No, it's okay, I'll take it now.
Thank you, Steph.
- Great.
- Oh.
There is one more thing, though.
- Rey, Wade.
- Rico.
- And why exactly do you
think I can teach to Rey
the flamenco, hm?
Because I am gay? Or because
I am of Spanish descent?
- Spanish descent, Spanish.
- Spanish descent mainly, but
I was thinking like 70/30.
- You see that?
That there, that there is the passion,
and passion is the very
heart of the flamenco dance.
Rey, vamos.
- Rey, vamos.
- I can see it in your eyes, Rey.
No, it is not the fire that you lack.
No, it is the confidence.
Take a seat.
- Ooh, you that good? All right.
- Wade.
- Rico.
- You see the difference, Rey?
You don't need me
or anyone to teach you
how to do the flamenco.
No, you have everything
you need right inside you.
But it is up to you, to
grab the bull by the horns.
- Oh, whoa.
Bro, that's what I was
trying to teach him.
Well, not the bull
part, but the same gist.
You're all right, bro.
Damn it!
Stuff this.
You know, what is he thinking?
He's gonna get this girl?
He'd better get this girl.
Give him my car.
Mr Romeo.
The sacrifices I make.
- Hey, Rey, it's it's me again, Holly.
I'm still at the dance,
I hope everything's okay.
- He just clocked on and sat
there, he hasn't moved since.
- Look at the way he's
eating that sandwich.
Such sadness.
- Mm, this is delicious.
What do you call this, doll?
- Goulash.
- Goulash.
Well, it tastes better than it sounds.
Rey?
- Would you excuse us, love?
Rey and I have got some
men stuff to attend to.
- Is this the men stuff?
- This is it, Rey.
Good day, Rey.
I just rang to see how the
search for your Mana is going?
Also, we, we've gotta make
a quick stop tomorrow,
I'll pick you up.
It's Wade, by the way,
from work,
and childhood.
Patty cake, hopscotch, jump rope.
I miss you, bro.
Call me back, love you, bye.
Rey, Rey.
- What, what're we doing here?
- Relax, bro, we just need
to drop off this copier.
- Ah, yeah.
- Rey, don't make me carry it.
All right, bro? Hands on.
Watch your step, maybe we should-
- Game face on, game face on.
I'll do the talking, don't talk too much,
don't blink too much, Rey.
Stay low, lets go.
Excuse me.
- Yes, how can I help you?
- I'm here to bring the new copier.
- No one here ordered a new photocopier.
Are you sure you're in the right place?
- Oh, is this not the
Pritchard Medical Center?
- It is, but as you can see.
- Thank you for your time.
Back it up, Rey.
Smile and wave, Rey, smile and wave.
Don't worry about it, think
of it as like, you know,
we gave it a crack.
I mean, think of it this way,
you still got a good thing
going on at the store.
I mean, you got like 10 years in you, 20.
Look at Linda, she died and
then she came back to the store.
Maybe you wanna settle down.
If you sell one of these
a week and just relax,
settle down, you'll do all right.
I don't wanna pry into
your business, though,
but you're not getting any younger.
And Anika, she's my sister and all that.
She's known you since primary school.
Think about it, little Reys.
Little Anikas, little Ranikas.
Rey?
- Holly?
- Sir, you can't go back there.
- Whoa.
Holly, Holly!
- Rey? What're you doing?
- About the other night,
I just want you to know that,
that I know that I know that I-
- Okay, Rey. Now is
really not a good time.
- I was there, all right?
I, I saw you standing there and I just...
Linda had a heart attack, and Wade,
he really wants the best for me,
but I'm just, the pressure is, it's a-
- You just left me there,
Rey. That's not okay.
Look, you really have to go.
- I'm sorry.
I'm fighting the Mountain 7pm Friday.
- That's great, Rey.
I would really,
I want you there.
- I'll think about it.
- You will?
Okay, okay.
- What?
- I want in.
- Hm?
- I want Joe's spot, I
wanna fight the Mountain.
- You think you can take on the Mountain?
Look at you, Rey.
- I-
- You're out of
breath just thinking about it.
- I rode my bike here
really fast.
Up a hill.
- Now listen to me, Rey.
Thing about the Mountain
is, well, he's a mountain.
And you, son, you're more of a wet noodle,
delicious in a carbonara, but
useless in a confrontation.
- I-
- You got guts, Rey, I'll give you that.
But the fight's this week,
there just isn't time.
- Terry, I, I,
I want this.
- You really want in?
- Let me hear you say it.
- I want this.
- Louder!
- I want this!
- Louder!
- I want this!
- There he is, the animal.
Training starts in the morning.
- Death, stare at it, Rey.
Fight it, Rey, fight it,
Rey! You can do it, Rey!
- You can do it. Come on, Rey.
Keep going.
- Okay, that's enough, settle down.
Okay, now I know it's been a long week
and we all wanna get back to our partners.
Well, 'cept for you Rey and you, Linda
and you too, Prue and Steve.
Wow, really are a lonely bunch, aren't we?
Which brings me to my next point,
and why it's important that, as a family,
we all support each other, yeah?
- Are we handing these
things out now, or not?
- Did you want me to come out now, or?
- Ah, well it's too late now, isn't it?
Surprise is bloody ruined,
it's called showmanship, Geoffrey.
- Actually Rodney,
the socially inclusive
term is showpersonship.
- Thank you for that, Wade.
Steph, I feel you
should've been on to that.
The reason we're here today,
is because I have an exciting
announcement to make.
Tonight Rey will be wrestling
in his very first match!
And, and I think it's
important as a family unit
that we all support Rey
by taking one of these
custom design T-shirts at $50 a pop.
- Hey?
- So, Rodney, I don't
understand. Rey is a chimp?
- Stephanie, as head of HR,
I expected a little bit more from you.
I'd really like to apologize, Rey.
Oh, damn it, Prue!
- I just wrote down
exactly what Wade told me.
- Bro, I said champ, not chimp.
- Yeah, okay, it doesn't
matter what the T-shirt says.
What matters is, is that it's important
that we all take one,
as it will be deducted
from next week's paycheck.
- Oh, is that right? I didn't know that.
- Hey, hey!
Yay, go Rey!
- It's from your mum and me.
You got this, Rey.
- Thanks, Terry.
- Go get 'em, son.
- Thanks, Mum.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade.
Wade.
- What?
- I've got this.
- Yeah, you do.
- Hey, it's Rey!
- He's here!
- Go Rey!
- Come on, Rey!
- Yeah, I'm gonna make
mince meat outta you, boy.
Come on, you belong to me, Rey.
I'm gonna make you into a T-bone, boy.
I'm gonna dice you up real good.
Come on, Rey, come on.
- Get outta there, you bastard.
- Yeah, who's the man? I'm the man.
- Where's Holly?
- Don't worry about Holly,
I want you to focus now.
This is your time, your
Mana. Don't forget that.
- He's a big tub of lard
Rey, nice, soft for you.
- And now, for the final
event of the evening,
proudly supported by Copy
That Printing Services,
I give you Rey, the Lightning Kid.
- Let's go, Rey!
You suck, you suck, bro!
And his opponent for tonight.
By day you know him as
Bruce the local butcher,
but by night,
he is the Mountain!
- Where is she?
- Who?
- Holly.
- Not now, Rey.
- Are you ready, gentlemen? Ring the bell!
- Come on, I got you, bro.
I'm gonna tear you apart.
- Come on, Rey, you'll get it!
- Go, Rey!
- Holly.
This was it, the final test.
The Mountain, the mecca of Mana.
Now all I had to do was put
him in a Russian side headlock
and choke him out.
Some people are born great,
some achieve greatness,
and others have greatness
thrust upon them.
- Rah!
And then there's me.
Yay!
- No, get up.
- He's really good.
- Damn it, Rey!
Get up! Get up!
- Rey get up!
- Rey.
Rey.
Hey, buddy.
- Holly?
- Yeah, she's not here, bro.
- Where is she?
- She saw what happened,
and she's gonna meet us at
the hospital, ya egg.
Hey, she wanted you to have this, though.
- What a day to be alive.
- You're the man, Rey.
I'm working on it.
- John?
We're going again.
- For John.
- I think it's a good
time to wrap things up.
Don't you, Rodney?
- Yeah.
- I once woke up in a body bag.
I will never drink Fanta again.
I woke up in a body bag once.
Worst christening ever.
- He's from Strickland Avenue.
I go past his house all the time.
All the time.
My mum lives in Malta with Bjorn.
- It's going well.
The brakes, the brakes were on.
You broke character.
- You know, he really wants
the best for me and I just,
the pressure was-
- You just left me there, Rey.
That's not okay, you have to go.
- The light went off.
- Aw!
I want this.
- You really want this?
I-
- This is the worst take
I've ever done in my life.
Still rolling,
we'll just pick it up,
we still rolling, we'll pick
it up from "I want this."
- The reason we're here today,
is because I have an exciting
announcement to make.
Tonight, Geoffrey will be wrestling.
Ah!
That's one for the blooper reel.
- Ah!