Paris Follies (2014) Movie Script
Hold on.
Look what I found in the shed.
This would look great.
- Are you kidding?
- What?
I'm not sure how to attach it,
but it might do the trick.
We'd be disqualified.
Put it away and keep brushing.
Number 551,
this is Chocolat.
And number 603.
Bnur.
These are all outstanding entries.
These animals are...
very docile, as you can see,
Their calm demeanour is the trademark
of the Charolais breed.
I think that...
our two judges
are comparing notes.
We're all in suspense.
Which animal will take first?
The ribbons are being decided.
The judges are deliberating.
I'll hand the mic
over to the judges.
Well done.
An elite selection of animals
from the Charolais breed.
Congratulations to the breeders.
But one must prevail,
and we've chosen Bnur,
belonging to Xavier Lecanu,
as the winner.
An exceptional animal,
with rare morphology.
Well done to Lecanu.
Well done.
Paris Follies
Alright?
Where've you been?
We had a nightmare
getting Bnur in the trailer.
Then Rgis insisted
we see his daughter.
I said: "7 o'clock."
Come on. It's only 7:25.
I've a 3-hour drive.
Don't talk like that.
What kind of welcome home is this?
Stay the night.
We can eat together.
- We've hardly seen you.
- I've got classes.
And I have to train.
I told you, didn't I?
Yes.
Quit laying on the guilt trips.
I come out here
while you go off
to your competitions.
Your competitions?
It's not me, it's him.
I'd rather not attend them.
I take that back.
You'd never visit otherwise.
This isn't the way
to get me to visit more.
Given him the cheese?
Oh yes, the Grangers
gave me a Livarot for you.
Hello, my lovelies.
Was everything OK?
Everything went fine.
Have you noticed
Big Jim's left front hoof
is trashed?
Yes, I know.
Here.
Roseline put in a Camembert too.
- Will you thank her?
- Yes.
And don't lose the Tupperware.
- You have to give it back.
- Yes.
OK. Will a kiss make you late?
And get your hair cut!
Bye.
Brigitte, do you mind
if we move your painting?
Eh?
We could put it in the kitchen.
I want to put up the new award.
Show me.
It's spread.
- See the specialist.
- I know what he'll say.
It's stress.
I don't get it.
Stress gives me grey hair.
You have to be different.
There might be a new cream out.
Xavier, please.
I've tried hundreds of creams.
It goes away for two days
then comes back.
I washed the other one.
So what's the solution?
Wait till it moves to your face?
Go to Paris.
See Professor Malachien.
You liked him.
He kept me waiting
less time than the others.
But he didn't make much effort.
Did he prescribe the stuff
that ruined the sheets?
No, that was Gozlan.
Malachien charged me 500 euros
for telling me I wash too often.
Yes. I remember him.
What about Laurette's doc?
- No.
- Why not?
Stop it.
It's worth a try.
And leave you alone with the animals?
I'll ask Rgis.
We can cope between us.
So I'm useless?
What?
You don't need me.
You're so annoying.
It's not down to stress,
it's because you're annoying.
And no fat needed for cooking.
Children love them.
Excuse me.
Do you know what this music is?
I don't know.
Ask at the desk.
It's sent to us.
We don't know.
Thanks.
Good, isn't it?
You greedy things.
Easy does it.
Sorry.
The little one didn't sleep.
We'll meet you in the stables.
Sorry.
You want me to leave you
with him?
Yes.
- Cool.
- There you are.
Isn't it great?
- What's going on?
- Must be their niece.
It's crazy.
Marion.
I like her. She's funny.
- How are you?
- Great.
We're celebrating
my friend's birthday.
- Come over.
- OK. Thanks.
I know what I'll do.
Ear plugs, sleeping pill and bed.
The paediatrician suggested it.
Sorry, but he's an idiot.
Brigitte doesn't trust doctors.
Mathilde had ears that stick out.
We didn't make her wear
a hat to bed or tape them up.
And she's a girl.
Long hair will cover it.
I agree with you.
For once.
- That's unusual.
- Rubbish.
What's that?
Ah.
Let me get this right.
Pancakes with tofu, ginger
and shiitake mushrooms.
It's called "Croq'tofu".
Are you feeling alright?
It's good to try new things.
I don't need to try it
to tell it's disgusting.
Rgis, do you want to eat it?
Go and get the lamb, please.
What a cute door.
Sorry to bother you,
but we can't turn on
the electricity.
I wonder if you could
take a look?
Rgis, can you go?
OK. I'll go.
I'll come over.
Once I've sated my appetite.
OK. Enjoy!
Bye.
That's right.
Make the cheque out
to CSEA Xavier Lecanu.
L-E-C-A-N-U.
Just how it sounds.
No problem.
Thank you.
Good afternoon.
- She's calving.
- What?
- She's going to calve.
- OK.
- I'm coming.
- What does "calve" mean?
Shall I call the vet?
- Ouch.
- Ow.
Could you make less noise?
- For the cow.
- Sorry.
Can I take a photo?
Yes.
- Rgis.
- Yes, Mrs Lecanu.
Here.
That's it, my lovely.
- Come on.
- How's it looking?
It won't be long.
It's not positioned quite right.
We'll lie her down.
- Yes.
- It's coming.
It's disgusting.
Come on.
Pull. Come on.
Here it comes.
He's a beauty.
Come on.
Come on.
- There.
- Rgis, get the bucket.
Get the bucket of water.
Yes... Give it to me.
- In the ears.
- Well, my lovely.
He's yours.
- There.
- Oh, it's so cute.
Come on.
Come on my beauty.
Look.
Look how lovely he is.
You arrived at the right time.
This is my cousin.
- He's just been born.
- He's lovely.
He'll win prizes.
Stan.
- This is my mate, Stan.
- Hi.
He needs a name.
Got any ideas?
Starting with "M".
Minotaur. Half-man, half-beast.
Did I back the wrong horse?
- What do you mean?
- You've got eczema,
and Parkinson's.
Your photos are blurred.
Ah, but your performance
was mesmerising.
Your bearing, your attire...
Now you're mocking me.
- Watch out, my little shepherdess.
- Don't call me that.
I don't like it.
Let me read.
Goodnight.
Good night.
Hello.
Sorry to bother you.
Do you have a lighter?
Yes.
- May I come in?
- Yes, yes.
Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Welcome.
Are we disturbing you?
No, I'm a night owl.
Are you avoiding the party?
No. The music is OK,
but I don't know many people there.
I'm not in the mood
to meet new folks.
Well then, I'll go back indoors.
That's not what I meant.
I don't feel very comfortable
wearing these slippers.
They're not super glam.
I wasn't referring to you.
The girls haven't left me alone
since I got here.
- I...
- Oh.
Life is so hard.
There you are.
Virginie's looking for you.
Brigitte, do you have any candles?
We forgot about the candles.
I should have some somewhere.
We don't really know each other,
but...
Do you like Virginie?
Because she likes you.
I noticed.
- You're not interested.
- No.
Tell her she's very cute,
but I'm not in the mood.
Really?
Is there someone else?
- No.
- Ah. OK.
- Are you gay?
- No.
This is all I could find.
Thanks very much.
That's great, Brigitte.
Come over for the cake.
You too, Brigitte.
And your husband.
Whatever his name is.
I'm a bit drunk.
Come on. Go. Let's go.
Come on, Brigitte. Please.
Anastasia.
- OK?
- Yes.
I'm pleased you're here.
You're very lovely.
- Pardon?
- You're very lovely.
- Can we be less formal?
- Yes.
- I'll get you a drink.
- OK.
- Thanks.
- Homemade punch.
It's lethal.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Is that Virginie you were talking to?
Yes.
- She's pretty.
- She's too young for me.
- Let's go outside.
- OK.
I got dumped recently
and took it hard.
I dropped out of college.
I lost my job.
I worked in a bookshop.
In the art section.
And then, I got it together.
I needed money,
so I took the first job I found.
I'm a sales assistant
at American Apparel.
It's a clothes brand.
Make some noise!
- Lovesickness.
- It throws you.
I like your smile.
What's that book in your pocket?
- Looking at my bum?
- No.
- Yes.
- It's just...
What book is it?
It's by Italo Calvino.
You probably don't know him.
I do.
We're not all illiterate
bumpkins out here.
Did you think
we all spoke in dialect?
Not even people in Paris
have heard of Italo Calvino.
What have I read by him?
Do they ever sleep?
They've been watching us.
It's like Big Brother.
Ah, that's it.
What?
What I heard this morning.
I love this music.
What are we waiting for?
Let's dance. Come on.
Here.
I'd better go home.
What's wrong?
My head is spinning.
Oh, dear.
I'll get you something.
Be right back.
Sleep well?
I didn't want to wake you.
How kind.
I didn't hear anything
from next door.
- Is all this for me?
- Yes.
There's no jam, though.
I couldn't find any.
It's out the back.
No, I'll get it.
That'll do it.
There.
Good.
That's it.
It's nicer than ours.
That shack?
What are you on about?
Well I like it.
Right.
There.
- Rgis?
- Yes?
Give them some beets, too.
OK.
Give some to the one I marked.
- It won't be long.
- What's the number?
- 69 20.
- OK.
They have no respect for anything.
Haven't heard that one for a while.
- What?
- And: "They buy organic,
"but when there's work to be done..."
It's true, though.
Young people
don't want to stay here.
Like that idiot who prefers
bouncing on his trampoline.
Are you talking about your son?
I'm ashamed of you.
These placemats are nice.
I love them.
Quentin,
stop that, please.
The new shopping centre
next to Leclerc.
- It doesn't work.
- You're in caps.
You should go.
They have great stuff.
OK.
Your password is "Brigitte"?
All the same,
you've got everything,
left by your parents.
You could open a shop.
I can't see anything.
- It doesn't work.
- Hold on.
If I remember right...
They want everything
straight away.
That's it. Look.
- You can see it really well.
- Right.
At that price, it had better work.
- Brigitte.
- I'm here.
See this?
It's very clear.
Can you zoom in?
Yes, of course.
And Mathilde,
is she happy in Martinique?
It's going well.
She's happy.
She's waiting to hear
about a job.
- Something big.
- Wow.
And Grgoire?
Still being...
- Bohemian?
- Yes. More than ever.
- Shall I take it over?
- No, leave it here.
OK.
So tell me,
his circus school,
where does that lead?
What will he come out with?
A...
A clown diploma?
That's not what he's studying.
Some leave with a clown diploma.
He'll have an acrobatics diploma.
So he'll say: "I'm an acrobat."
That's right.
You're very good
to pay for his qualification.
It's good to follow your passion.
Yes.
Oh, the grill!
Glad I didn't wash my hair.
You moan
because your bull is sterile.
If you buy a plant
and it doesn't flower,
do you take it back?
- Harsh.
- Admit it, I'm right.
So?
Xavier doesn't agree,
but we need a lawyer.
We should have said a bull,
and not a breeding bull,
on the invoice.
He won't even read the paperwork.
He will read it.
We can't settle it amicably.
He's pernickety.
He wants compensation.
Don't get so upset.
Be realistic.
He keeps calling us at night.
Have a drink,
little shepherdess.
And relax.
- Why "little shepherdess"?
- Ah...
I don't know if I can say.
Do what you want.
I need a cigarette.
The story's totally uninteresting.
We met at agricultural college.
- Like you.
- Like your parents.
We were in the same class.
We had to stand up
and say what we wanted
to specialise in.
Everyone went up.
"I want to be a breeder."
"I'm doing horticulture."
"I'm going into agronomy."
And Brigitte, who I didn't know...
Well,
I had already noticed her.
She says:
"I want to be a shepherdess."
To us, that wasn't a job.
You find shepherdesses
in fairy tales.
I liked that.
That's when I fell in love with her.
Because she was different
and... very determined.
She's right:
the story drags a bit.
Quentin!
Turn off your jazz.
I forgot to tell Laurette.
I made an appointment
with the dermatologist
she recommended.
Finally.
I listened to you.
He might have a miracle cream.
And I was lucky,
he had a cancellation.
That's great.
It's first thing.
I'll have to go the night before.
I'll deal with that tomorrow.
You're leaving me alone with Rgis.
Don't start.
You encouraged me to go.
You've done the right thing.
You were right earlier.
I can be an idiot.
I'm happy for Grgoire,
and that he's training
as an acrobat.
Anyway,
talking of acrobatics,
we haven't done any for a while.
It's that idiot.
- Answer it.
- No.
- I'll speak to him.
- No.
- Give it to me.
- No.
Why won't you speak to him?
You hurt me.
Yes.
I don't know.
I'll put her on.
My sister
wants you to stay with her.
I don't believe it.
Hello, Christiane.
How are you?
That will be difficult.
I've booked the hotel.
And paid for it.
Yes.
I was worried it would be booked up.
No,
I gave them my credit-card number.
I didn't want to bother you.
That's kind.
Stop it.
Yes. Well...
Yes...
Yes. We could have dinner together.
I'll call you when I get to Paris.
OK.
Great.
Me too. Delighted.
Bye.
Why tell her?
I didn't know it was a secret.
When she comes here
she gets on your nerves.
Yes... OK. I thought
you'd be lonely in Paris.
- Is it true about the hotel?
- Of course it is.
I've booked for two nights.
Two nights?
I know your appointment is early,
but why hang around in Paris?
I want to.
I can do some shopping.
Go to Galeries Lafayette.
It'll leave me time
to see your sister.
"... serious incident,
"we apologize
for the inconvenience."
What's he playing at?
If the route goes past
any nice monuments,
that would be great.
On your left, on the corner,
that large building
is the headquarters
of Europe Assistance.
- Great.
- There are a lot of large companies.
That building there is... Primagaz.
Hello.
- I'm nearly finished.
- That's fine.
Take your time.
Well, well.
"Welcome Mrs Brigitte Lecanu."
- Enjoy your stay.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
I'll get a medium.
Can I help you?
Oh. Stan!
What a surprise.
You told me
you worked at American Apparel.
Yes. Yes.
I remember now.
What are you doing here?
I come to Paris, sometimes,
to... keep up with fashions.
Are you looking for something
in particular?
Er... yes, yes...
What's it called?
Bermuda shorts.
Bermudas.
For yourself?
Bermuda shorts for myself?
No, for a man.
I never wear Bermuda shorts.
And we don't have
our summer collection yet.
Ah. Oh, well,
that's a shame.
Are you cross
about the other night?
It was leave,
or you hold my hair while I threw up.
I was sad.
I'm here for two days.
We could maybe...
Maybe what?
Have dinner.
Stan, is someone covering
the changing room?
No. I'll get back.
Yes, please.
Can you move the boxes of leggings?
- Yes.
- Put them in the storeroom.
- Serious.
- And she was being nice.
Right.
You're taking me to dinner?
I finish at 7 o'clock.
Why don't you meet me
in the caf across the street.
See you tonight.
Wow.
Notre-Dame.
What is this magic material?
Well, it's a scarf,
a bandana, a scrunchie,
and a headband.
For an important meeting,
an interview,
I look the part.
For a more relaxed look,
I put my hair up,
and it works as a scrunchie.
There. Perfect.
It's cold!
It's freezing.
My magic material becomes a scarf.
Amazing, right?
- Mango?
- No, thank you.
- Present.
- That's kind.
Thank you very much.
Call it in.
What?
Street peddler, Jussieu metro.
What's he done?
What's the problem?
Those crates are mine.
I just bought them.
What will you do
with the avocados?
Guacamole.
What will you do with all that fruit?
Clafoutis?
Why can't you let him work?
Hey!
It's all I could save.
Do they often bother you?
You always have to run?
My name is Brigitte.
Brigitte.
- And you?
- Apu.
Abu? Or Apu?
Apu.
Apu.
Pakistani?
Indian. Me, Indian.
Are you from Paris?
No. I'm from Normandy.
Pays de Caux, in the country.
I'm a farmer.
Cows.
We breed them, and sell them.
Or the slaughterhouse.
That's forbidden.
Ah, yes, cows are sacred.
That's good. I don't like
our animals being killed.
- What do I owe you?
- Six euros.
Take these, as a thank you.
No. You must sell them.
Do you need any avocados?
I'm not in charge of purchasing.
He's friends with the police.
Hello, Stan.
Crappy material.
- Alright?
- Yes.
I'm really sorry
but...
I have to go to some friends.
They called me
because they're stuck.
The babysitter has let them down,
and they've asked me
to look after the kids.
Ah, OK.
Come with me.
It's fine.
They don't mind.
I don't want to.
With the kids, I don't think...
Their apartment is amazing.
It might be.
I'd feel uncomfortable.
How about this?
I put the kids to bed,
and then you come over.
How about it?
- The parents don't mind?
- They're cool.
It's not up for discussion.
You've no choice.
Xavier, supper is nothing special.
Laurette, is there any ice?
If you can't find any
in the freezer,
there isn't any.
I haven't hidden it.
He's such an oaf.
Did you speak to Brigitte?
No. I'll call her later.
Fred said she's seeing a doctor?
The dermatologist you recommended.
Who? Chapuis?
The one you saw about your mole.
Yes. Chapuis.
But he retired a year ago.
She has an appointment
tomorrow.
I tell you that's impossible.
Can you deal with them?
I called. The secretary told me.
Maybe she has an appointment
with a replacement.
- He's annoying me.
- I don't care.
Maybe.
We need...
some white wine.
Help yourself to snacks.
Ciao, ragazza.
Hi.
- Got the code?
- Yes. I received your text.
Brigitte.
Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Xavier. Oh...
I was going to call you.
No. I'm going to the cinema.
Is it open?
If you're ringing me,
my battery is flat.
The appointment is tomorrow.
Yes, yes.
B, like Brigitte, 19514.
I have to ring off, or I'll get lost.
Yes, I'll be careful.
Brigitte? Are you there?
You have to push it hard.
Alright?
Fine.
I'm sorry.
The children woke up.
You do have a loud voice.
Let's forget it.
I want my mummy.
She isn't here.
You'll see her tomorrow.
You can see your mummy,
why can't we?
- Good start.
- Quite.
No.
Your hand jerked.
- You...
- No.
Here come the Barbapapas
We'll have fun
In the Barbapapa family
They're asleep.
They can change
their shapes and sizes
Yippee.
What's that?
Allergic reaction to perfume.
It'll go.
Can you roll a joint?
No, I can't.
Not properly, anyway.
Me neither.
I'm useless.
My flatmate did it with three sheets.
Or the tulip. Know it?
- Tulip?
- Yes.
I can't do a tulip. No.
It's a bit like a flower.
It's hard.
But not as hard as the whistle.
- Yes. True.
- Anyway.
Perfect.
And... there.
The filter.
That's too much. Hold on...
Something odd happened today.
I was buying clementines
off this guy by the Mtro,
and the cops turned up.
It was awful.
A Paki?
- No. Indian.
- Yeah.
- And...
- Tell him
to sell pirated DVDs.
More profitable than fruit.
Most of the time they don't work.
It's all profit for him.
We get ripped off.
- Stan.
- I'll kill those kids.
Hold that.
Coming. Coming.
- What?
- I'm not sleepy.
- No. I don't want...
- I'll tell your mother.
- Brigitte.
- Leave Brigitte alone.
Brigitte!
Sorry.
My card isn't working.
I'll check it right away.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Have a good evening.
They won't eat you.
Come on.
Stupid woman.
Hello. Sorry about the noise.
I set the alarm off
with my cigarette.
You should tell reception.
I've called them.
They're sending someone.
What is your accent?
I'm Danish.
From Copenhagen.
Ah. OK.
You're visiting Paris?
I'm here for a conference.
- A conference?
- The dental conference.
- I'm a paradentist.
- What?
Gums.
Isn't this bad for your gums?
Well.
No-one's perfect.
I'm going to do something
I shouldn't.
I saw nothing.
Do you mind if I close the window?
Not at all.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
I'd like to make an appointment
with Chapuis please.
No-one replacing him?
There's no other dermatologist?
OK. Thank you.
Would you like a cocktail too?
Hello.
Brigitte.
What a surprise.
- Alright?
- Yes.
I left my phone.
I know. It's in my jacket.
Could you fetch it?
No.
I can't move from here.
So?
Meet me outside at midday.
Since you asked so nicely.
Rgis.
I'm going out.
Can you stay here tonight?
Are you joining your wife?
No. Well... It's complicated.
I have to get something.
I may not be back tonight.
Can you look after things?
Yes. I just need to tell Clia.
I'll pay you extra.
I should hope so.
And don't say anything to Brigitte,
if you don't mind.
- You could have told me.
- What?
I've been waiting 20 minutes.
- Can I have my phone?
- Yes.
Hold that.
I called a mate in Costa Rica.
I...
Joke.
Heard of those?
Are we quits?
Thank you.
Sorry.
- Can I have my burger?
- Yes.
Thanks.
Is the Mtro that way?
Yes. The station is Pyramides.
Where are you going?
To buy material
at Saint-Pierre market.
To make your own Bermuda shorts?
You'd prefer the bus.
Get the 81.
There's a stop there.
To Place de Clichy, then walk.
- Perfect.
- Right.
I'll be off.
You normally leave
without saying goodbye.
There are sites
for women like you.
Cougars.
Hello.
Are you well?
Yes. I'm fine. Yes.
I'm sorry, I don't know your name.
- Brigitte.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm Jesper.
Was it nice?
Yes, it was nice.
Would you like to go for a walk?
What?
There's a trip to Montmartre.
But I don't like being in a group.
The thing is...
I'm busy tonight.
And before that?
It's not late.
You look like
you're going to the opera.
And you, Siberia.
Oh, he's so cute.
Do you have other children?
I had a daughter.
No. I have a daughter.
No. I had a daughter.
Where is this?
Nykbing Sjlland.
- Where?
- Nykbing Sjlland.
Even we can't pronounce it.
- It's a seaside resort...
- Oh. Sorry...
It's fine.
That's my wife Ingeborg.
Fancy it?
- The big wheel?
- Yes.
Isn't it dangerous?
No. Not at all.
Come on.
OK.
We should use the crossing.
No. It's fine.
In Paris, you use the crossing.
No. It's dangerous.
Did you know that Copenhagen
had the first
amusement park in the world?
Tivoli.
In 1843.
Its creator, Georg Carstensen,
persuaded king Christian VIII
of the necessity of building it.
According to him,
when people have fun,
they forget about politics.
Are you OK?
No. Not really.
Relax.
Look.
We're going up slowly.
- Enjoying the view.
- No. I can't look.
- OK.
- Tell me anything.
Please talk to me.
Right... Yes...
Tivoli is in the centre
of Copenhagen.
Next to the station.
At night, with the lights,
it's incredible.
- Walt Disney had the idea...
- Be quiet.
I'd rather you were quiet.
- Are we going down?
- Well...
We've hardly started.
- Better?
- Yes. Sorry.
My fault. I shouldn't have
taken you up there.
What time is it?
I'm meeting my sister-in-law.
My husband's sister.
She insisted we have dinner together.
You never told me
what you're doing in Paris.
No. I never did.
I think Grands Boulevards
is that way.
Plenty of places to eat.
I'll be fine.
Don't be cross, but I have to go.
Should we shake hands?
In case your sister-in-law
is watching?
No. We can kiss goodbye.
- Sure?
- Yes.
If she's seen us,
what will you say?
That I couldn't resist
a tall handsome Dane.
Goodbye.
When you get back,
meet me in the hotel bar.
I'll no doubt be drowning my sorrows.
There's no need to do that.
You snuggled up in my arms.
I did not.
Goodbye.
No. See you later.
I like this place.
It hasn't changed.
They're redoing them all.
The cafes, the bistros.
They paint them purple,
or Burgundy, and add trendy lighting.
And a huge TV screen.
Drives me mad.
I don't mind buying a drink,
but I don't want to watch football.
Yes, quite. Yes.
Have you decided, ladies?
No.
And I'd like to have an aperitif.
We don't go out for dinner often.
What would you like?
- I don't know. A Martini?
- Good idea. Two Martinis.
And do you have any olives?
Cute. Not bright, but cute.
It's like a desert for me.
Dead calm.
- What?
- My love life.
So I signed up to Meetic.
But they're all crazy.
There was one who...
I can't even tell you,
it was so...
I did get on with one guy...
Nothing will happen between us.
But he could be a good friend.
Not good-looking, but funny.
A bit like my brother.
Good evening.
Not bad. But I prefer the waiter.
Keep your voice down.
He doesn't speak French.
Must be Swedish or Finnish.
I find Scandinavians dull.
Not hairy enough.
We were dying of thirst.
And the olives?
If I don't eat, too,
I'll be dancing on the tables.
I'll bring them.
Cheers?
It's all business these days.
They saw how well
coffee capsules worked,
now they're doing it with tea.
Honestly.
Is it so hard to use a tea bag?
I don't think it'll work.
Bad idea.
And if the company goes bust,
you can't get the capsules.
You have to sell the machine
on eBay.
Talking of eBay.
I was looking for a hammock.
I found one,
but it was 400 euros.
That's a lot for a bit of cloth,
isn't it?
As you say, it's all business.
How did it go
with the dermatologist?
Fine.
Well... He understood.
Did he give you something?
Xavier says it's worse.
Yes. Yes.
- We'll have to wait...
- Let me see.
No. I'm not...
I've seen it before.
But...
- There's no need to...
- Come on.
- Let me see.
- No, Christiane.
I said no and I mean it.
Excuse me.
I'm neither Finnish nor Swedish,
but Danish. I wanted to clarify that.
Goodnight.
How embarrassing.
Did I say anything awful?
- Well...
- Shit.
He should have spoken French.
He comes into my office
all smiles.
He wanted
to dump the client on me.
Ah, yes.
I wasn't having it.
I said:
"Not for me, that hot potato."
There's a taxi.
Taxi!
- Bye.
- Bye.
Tell my brother he can call me.
I always ring him.
Safe journey home, Christiane. Bye.
Come on. What's this?
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
Guten Abend
meine Damen und Herren.
Buenas noches,
signoras y signores.
Maestro.
Hello.
Remember me?
Bruno Massoulier.
Quality farming equipment.
I came to see you a year ago,
and you bought the udder protectors.
And an igloo.
With an enclosure.
Yes. That's right.
My wife, Stphanie.
Hello.
Did your husband enjoy the show?
I was very disappointed by it.
The feathers and dancers
are for the weekend.
They tell you that afterwards.
Once you've paid.
There's nothing you can do...
Good evening.
But it was very good.
Shall we go?
- Enjoy your evening.
- You too.
Bye.
That's not her husband.
Is something wrong?
Let's leave it here.
We could go back together.
Or would you prefer
we take separate taxis?
Skol.
Skol.
How about some music?
Monica Zetterlund.
- Did I pronounce it well?
- Very well.
She was Swedish.
My father is Swedish.
So Christiane wasn't wrong.
No.
It's lovely.
Yes.
But a bit sad.
What's it about?
Oh no...
I'd better go.
No.
This is silly.
Birgit.
Goodnight, Jesper.
So that's...
the forbidden zone.
Yes.
Have you been to the Dead Sea?
No.
I ask, because in Denmark,
people like you, who have
eczema, or...
psoriasis,
the health service
pays for them to go to the Dead Sea
in Israel.
It seems the treatment works.
But I
have my own method.
What's wrong?
You always go to the toilet
when it's time to pay.
What do you want me to do?
It's always me forking out.
I'll pay next time.
You'll make sure it's still me.
Do you want me to sign something?
"Read and approved".
You said it was your turn.
- Yes? Or no?
- OK.
I get conned every time.
I was tired.
Dad? What are you doing here?
I'd been to see a client,
and thought I'd take a detour.
Don't mind me.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Yeah, go ahead.
Is there something you want to say?
No, no.
Take care.
Come and see us more.
OK.
That's the worst pasta ever.
She'll come back.
Don't worry.
How do you know?
I just know.
Your wife loves you.
Have you heard something?
Seen something?
No.
But I'm here...
with both of you.
I know things.
I went to Paris.
I saw her with a man.
Well,
when you're too curious,
you get hurt.
She's cheating on me, Rgis.
She's lying to me.
Have you never been unfaithful?
Sorry to be so direct.
But you had a fling
and you came back.
She was sitting in the kitchen too.
She was crying.
She thought you'd leave her.
She was distraught.
I told her the same thing.
How did she know?
I think she followed you.
You're alike.
That's why you love each other.
Well,
I'll be off.
Can I come in late tomorrow?
Of course.
Good night.
I hope you enjoyed your stay
and see you again.
Thanks very much.
Goodbye.
Have a nice day. Goodbye.
Thank you very much.
Your attention, please...
- Good journey?
- Yes.
- Was the train full?
- It was almost empty.
What did the doctor say?
He told me to go to Israel.
The Dead Sea.
Apparently the sun
and salt water are good.
And you can have mud baths.
He says it's the best.
Hello.
When you sell a bull,
you don't give a guarantee
like for a household appliance.
Let me make this clear.
You're not getting a penny.
You think you're going
to make money out of us.
Well, I'm not a mug.
See you in court.
I can prove
I offered you an exchange.
And don't call me at night,
or I'll drive over
and smash your face in.
Bumpkin.
I should leave you alone more.
You missed the turning.
I did some shopping.
The sales were on.
Rock-bottom prices.
Nice, isn't it?
And I went to Saint-Pierre market
to buy material for curtains.
I'm bored with the velvet.
Are you alright?
Yes. I'm fine.
Thanks for bringing me here.
You've put on a shirt and tie.
What are you competing for?
What do you think?
I don't know.
- Scallops?
- For me.
Thanks.
And the tournedos, sir.
Enjoy your meal.
What's wrong?
Miss.
This isn't tournedos,
it's rumpsteak.
It is tournedos.
Well, I'll go and check.
Thank you.
You haven't tried it.
I don't need to.
It isn't tournedos.
It's rumpsteak.
I'll speak to the chef.
I'm going to start.
It's not her fault.
Did I shout at her?
Calm down.
I am calm.
The chef says it is tournedos.
Try it.
You're annoying me now.
I'm trying it.
I'll say what I said before.
It's rumpsteak.
Can I see the chef?
Eat, it'll get cold.
If you're proving
you've got balls,
you did that, in the car.
Don't provoke me.
It's only a piece of meat.
Don't lecture me.
This is a seafood restaurant.
Sorry, the chef is too busy.
He assures me it's tournedos,
but if you'd like something else?
So I'm wrong?
You bring him over,
so he can try it.
Lower your voice.
I breed cattle.
I know the difference
between tournedos, which is here,
and rumpsteak, here.
Sorry, could we have the bill?
Why say sorry?
- You turn the other cheek...
- What?
- The bill...
- You could just eat it.
But it isn't tournedos!
Xavier.
Come to bed.
I'm coming.
What's wrong with Big Jim?
His hoof?
No, I think he's depressed.
Since we separated him
from Bora Bora.
Before, they'd romp about,
and he was fine.
He thought she'd gone.
He's been doing silly things.
He's seen that she's back.
He's panicking.
He's worried it won't be the same.
Will he be up to it?
Of course he will.
Nothing's changed.
Tell Big Jim.
Everything is fine.
Are you sure?
Yes.
What?
You know that
Internet and I aren't best friends.
Yes.
And?
I wanted to make you happy.
I went on a travel site
and booked two weeks in Israel.
Really?
You'll get to see the Dead Sea.
- Are you kidding?
- No.
Only,
I didn't pay enough attention,
and to get to Tel Aviv,
we go via Glasgow.
What?
I didn't notice.
- It'll take all day.
- More or less.
- The return is via Lisbon.
- What?
The fine print.
Obviously.
They never write that
in huge flashing letters.
- We can cancel it.
- We're not cancelling it.
No. We're not cancelling it.
- We'll still go?
- Yes.
It'll do us good.
I hope so.
That's a drinking trough.
For water.
It gets clogged up.
You have to clean it.
Unlatch it.
The straw mustn't block it.
You have to get to the bottom
and take it out.
Like that.
Got it, Apu?
Straw.
Yes. Straw.
Check it.
What else can we show him?
Pulp.
Yes.
Beet pulp. Come on.
You won't be carrying the case.
You don't need a pullover.
I'll get on quicker on my own.
Fine.
Don't forget my Bermuda shorts.
I had the Bermuda shorts.
You should see a road...
on your right.
Where does it go?
Surprise.
Nice welcome.
OK.
I get it.
Oh, my goodness.
Crazy.
In the middle of a desert.
Look at all the fans!
Look what I found in the shed.
This would look great.
- Are you kidding?
- What?
I'm not sure how to attach it,
but it might do the trick.
We'd be disqualified.
Put it away and keep brushing.
Number 551,
this is Chocolat.
And number 603.
Bnur.
These are all outstanding entries.
These animals are...
very docile, as you can see,
Their calm demeanour is the trademark
of the Charolais breed.
I think that...
our two judges
are comparing notes.
We're all in suspense.
Which animal will take first?
The ribbons are being decided.
The judges are deliberating.
I'll hand the mic
over to the judges.
Well done.
An elite selection of animals
from the Charolais breed.
Congratulations to the breeders.
But one must prevail,
and we've chosen Bnur,
belonging to Xavier Lecanu,
as the winner.
An exceptional animal,
with rare morphology.
Well done to Lecanu.
Well done.
Paris Follies
Alright?
Where've you been?
We had a nightmare
getting Bnur in the trailer.
Then Rgis insisted
we see his daughter.
I said: "7 o'clock."
Come on. It's only 7:25.
I've a 3-hour drive.
Don't talk like that.
What kind of welcome home is this?
Stay the night.
We can eat together.
- We've hardly seen you.
- I've got classes.
And I have to train.
I told you, didn't I?
Yes.
Quit laying on the guilt trips.
I come out here
while you go off
to your competitions.
Your competitions?
It's not me, it's him.
I'd rather not attend them.
I take that back.
You'd never visit otherwise.
This isn't the way
to get me to visit more.
Given him the cheese?
Oh yes, the Grangers
gave me a Livarot for you.
Hello, my lovelies.
Was everything OK?
Everything went fine.
Have you noticed
Big Jim's left front hoof
is trashed?
Yes, I know.
Here.
Roseline put in a Camembert too.
- Will you thank her?
- Yes.
And don't lose the Tupperware.
- You have to give it back.
- Yes.
OK. Will a kiss make you late?
And get your hair cut!
Bye.
Brigitte, do you mind
if we move your painting?
Eh?
We could put it in the kitchen.
I want to put up the new award.
Show me.
It's spread.
- See the specialist.
- I know what he'll say.
It's stress.
I don't get it.
Stress gives me grey hair.
You have to be different.
There might be a new cream out.
Xavier, please.
I've tried hundreds of creams.
It goes away for two days
then comes back.
I washed the other one.
So what's the solution?
Wait till it moves to your face?
Go to Paris.
See Professor Malachien.
You liked him.
He kept me waiting
less time than the others.
But he didn't make much effort.
Did he prescribe the stuff
that ruined the sheets?
No, that was Gozlan.
Malachien charged me 500 euros
for telling me I wash too often.
Yes. I remember him.
What about Laurette's doc?
- No.
- Why not?
Stop it.
It's worth a try.
And leave you alone with the animals?
I'll ask Rgis.
We can cope between us.
So I'm useless?
What?
You don't need me.
You're so annoying.
It's not down to stress,
it's because you're annoying.
And no fat needed for cooking.
Children love them.
Excuse me.
Do you know what this music is?
I don't know.
Ask at the desk.
It's sent to us.
We don't know.
Thanks.
Good, isn't it?
You greedy things.
Easy does it.
Sorry.
The little one didn't sleep.
We'll meet you in the stables.
Sorry.
You want me to leave you
with him?
Yes.
- Cool.
- There you are.
Isn't it great?
- What's going on?
- Must be their niece.
It's crazy.
Marion.
I like her. She's funny.
- How are you?
- Great.
We're celebrating
my friend's birthday.
- Come over.
- OK. Thanks.
I know what I'll do.
Ear plugs, sleeping pill and bed.
The paediatrician suggested it.
Sorry, but he's an idiot.
Brigitte doesn't trust doctors.
Mathilde had ears that stick out.
We didn't make her wear
a hat to bed or tape them up.
And she's a girl.
Long hair will cover it.
I agree with you.
For once.
- That's unusual.
- Rubbish.
What's that?
Ah.
Let me get this right.
Pancakes with tofu, ginger
and shiitake mushrooms.
It's called "Croq'tofu".
Are you feeling alright?
It's good to try new things.
I don't need to try it
to tell it's disgusting.
Rgis, do you want to eat it?
Go and get the lamb, please.
What a cute door.
Sorry to bother you,
but we can't turn on
the electricity.
I wonder if you could
take a look?
Rgis, can you go?
OK. I'll go.
I'll come over.
Once I've sated my appetite.
OK. Enjoy!
Bye.
That's right.
Make the cheque out
to CSEA Xavier Lecanu.
L-E-C-A-N-U.
Just how it sounds.
No problem.
Thank you.
Good afternoon.
- She's calving.
- What?
- She's going to calve.
- OK.
- I'm coming.
- What does "calve" mean?
Shall I call the vet?
- Ouch.
- Ow.
Could you make less noise?
- For the cow.
- Sorry.
Can I take a photo?
Yes.
- Rgis.
- Yes, Mrs Lecanu.
Here.
That's it, my lovely.
- Come on.
- How's it looking?
It won't be long.
It's not positioned quite right.
We'll lie her down.
- Yes.
- It's coming.
It's disgusting.
Come on.
Pull. Come on.
Here it comes.
He's a beauty.
Come on.
Come on.
- There.
- Rgis, get the bucket.
Get the bucket of water.
Yes... Give it to me.
- In the ears.
- Well, my lovely.
He's yours.
- There.
- Oh, it's so cute.
Come on.
Come on my beauty.
Look.
Look how lovely he is.
You arrived at the right time.
This is my cousin.
- He's just been born.
- He's lovely.
He'll win prizes.
Stan.
- This is my mate, Stan.
- Hi.
He needs a name.
Got any ideas?
Starting with "M".
Minotaur. Half-man, half-beast.
Did I back the wrong horse?
- What do you mean?
- You've got eczema,
and Parkinson's.
Your photos are blurred.
Ah, but your performance
was mesmerising.
Your bearing, your attire...
Now you're mocking me.
- Watch out, my little shepherdess.
- Don't call me that.
I don't like it.
Let me read.
Goodnight.
Good night.
Hello.
Sorry to bother you.
Do you have a lighter?
Yes.
- May I come in?
- Yes, yes.
Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Welcome.
Are we disturbing you?
No, I'm a night owl.
Are you avoiding the party?
No. The music is OK,
but I don't know many people there.
I'm not in the mood
to meet new folks.
Well then, I'll go back indoors.
That's not what I meant.
I don't feel very comfortable
wearing these slippers.
They're not super glam.
I wasn't referring to you.
The girls haven't left me alone
since I got here.
- I...
- Oh.
Life is so hard.
There you are.
Virginie's looking for you.
Brigitte, do you have any candles?
We forgot about the candles.
I should have some somewhere.
We don't really know each other,
but...
Do you like Virginie?
Because she likes you.
I noticed.
- You're not interested.
- No.
Tell her she's very cute,
but I'm not in the mood.
Really?
Is there someone else?
- No.
- Ah. OK.
- Are you gay?
- No.
This is all I could find.
Thanks very much.
That's great, Brigitte.
Come over for the cake.
You too, Brigitte.
And your husband.
Whatever his name is.
I'm a bit drunk.
Come on. Go. Let's go.
Come on, Brigitte. Please.
Anastasia.
- OK?
- Yes.
I'm pleased you're here.
You're very lovely.
- Pardon?
- You're very lovely.
- Can we be less formal?
- Yes.
- I'll get you a drink.
- OK.
- Thanks.
- Homemade punch.
It's lethal.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Is that Virginie you were talking to?
Yes.
- She's pretty.
- She's too young for me.
- Let's go outside.
- OK.
I got dumped recently
and took it hard.
I dropped out of college.
I lost my job.
I worked in a bookshop.
In the art section.
And then, I got it together.
I needed money,
so I took the first job I found.
I'm a sales assistant
at American Apparel.
It's a clothes brand.
Make some noise!
- Lovesickness.
- It throws you.
I like your smile.
What's that book in your pocket?
- Looking at my bum?
- No.
- Yes.
- It's just...
What book is it?
It's by Italo Calvino.
You probably don't know him.
I do.
We're not all illiterate
bumpkins out here.
Did you think
we all spoke in dialect?
Not even people in Paris
have heard of Italo Calvino.
What have I read by him?
Do they ever sleep?
They've been watching us.
It's like Big Brother.
Ah, that's it.
What?
What I heard this morning.
I love this music.
What are we waiting for?
Let's dance. Come on.
Here.
I'd better go home.
What's wrong?
My head is spinning.
Oh, dear.
I'll get you something.
Be right back.
Sleep well?
I didn't want to wake you.
How kind.
I didn't hear anything
from next door.
- Is all this for me?
- Yes.
There's no jam, though.
I couldn't find any.
It's out the back.
No, I'll get it.
That'll do it.
There.
Good.
That's it.
It's nicer than ours.
That shack?
What are you on about?
Well I like it.
Right.
There.
- Rgis?
- Yes?
Give them some beets, too.
OK.
Give some to the one I marked.
- It won't be long.
- What's the number?
- 69 20.
- OK.
They have no respect for anything.
Haven't heard that one for a while.
- What?
- And: "They buy organic,
"but when there's work to be done..."
It's true, though.
Young people
don't want to stay here.
Like that idiot who prefers
bouncing on his trampoline.
Are you talking about your son?
I'm ashamed of you.
These placemats are nice.
I love them.
Quentin,
stop that, please.
The new shopping centre
next to Leclerc.
- It doesn't work.
- You're in caps.
You should go.
They have great stuff.
OK.
Your password is "Brigitte"?
All the same,
you've got everything,
left by your parents.
You could open a shop.
I can't see anything.
- It doesn't work.
- Hold on.
If I remember right...
They want everything
straight away.
That's it. Look.
- You can see it really well.
- Right.
At that price, it had better work.
- Brigitte.
- I'm here.
See this?
It's very clear.
Can you zoom in?
Yes, of course.
And Mathilde,
is she happy in Martinique?
It's going well.
She's happy.
She's waiting to hear
about a job.
- Something big.
- Wow.
And Grgoire?
Still being...
- Bohemian?
- Yes. More than ever.
- Shall I take it over?
- No, leave it here.
OK.
So tell me,
his circus school,
where does that lead?
What will he come out with?
A...
A clown diploma?
That's not what he's studying.
Some leave with a clown diploma.
He'll have an acrobatics diploma.
So he'll say: "I'm an acrobat."
That's right.
You're very good
to pay for his qualification.
It's good to follow your passion.
Yes.
Oh, the grill!
Glad I didn't wash my hair.
You moan
because your bull is sterile.
If you buy a plant
and it doesn't flower,
do you take it back?
- Harsh.
- Admit it, I'm right.
So?
Xavier doesn't agree,
but we need a lawyer.
We should have said a bull,
and not a breeding bull,
on the invoice.
He won't even read the paperwork.
He will read it.
We can't settle it amicably.
He's pernickety.
He wants compensation.
Don't get so upset.
Be realistic.
He keeps calling us at night.
Have a drink,
little shepherdess.
And relax.
- Why "little shepherdess"?
- Ah...
I don't know if I can say.
Do what you want.
I need a cigarette.
The story's totally uninteresting.
We met at agricultural college.
- Like you.
- Like your parents.
We were in the same class.
We had to stand up
and say what we wanted
to specialise in.
Everyone went up.
"I want to be a breeder."
"I'm doing horticulture."
"I'm going into agronomy."
And Brigitte, who I didn't know...
Well,
I had already noticed her.
She says:
"I want to be a shepherdess."
To us, that wasn't a job.
You find shepherdesses
in fairy tales.
I liked that.
That's when I fell in love with her.
Because she was different
and... very determined.
She's right:
the story drags a bit.
Quentin!
Turn off your jazz.
I forgot to tell Laurette.
I made an appointment
with the dermatologist
she recommended.
Finally.
I listened to you.
He might have a miracle cream.
And I was lucky,
he had a cancellation.
That's great.
It's first thing.
I'll have to go the night before.
I'll deal with that tomorrow.
You're leaving me alone with Rgis.
Don't start.
You encouraged me to go.
You've done the right thing.
You were right earlier.
I can be an idiot.
I'm happy for Grgoire,
and that he's training
as an acrobat.
Anyway,
talking of acrobatics,
we haven't done any for a while.
It's that idiot.
- Answer it.
- No.
- I'll speak to him.
- No.
- Give it to me.
- No.
Why won't you speak to him?
You hurt me.
Yes.
I don't know.
I'll put her on.
My sister
wants you to stay with her.
I don't believe it.
Hello, Christiane.
How are you?
That will be difficult.
I've booked the hotel.
And paid for it.
Yes.
I was worried it would be booked up.
No,
I gave them my credit-card number.
I didn't want to bother you.
That's kind.
Stop it.
Yes. Well...
Yes...
Yes. We could have dinner together.
I'll call you when I get to Paris.
OK.
Great.
Me too. Delighted.
Bye.
Why tell her?
I didn't know it was a secret.
When she comes here
she gets on your nerves.
Yes... OK. I thought
you'd be lonely in Paris.
- Is it true about the hotel?
- Of course it is.
I've booked for two nights.
Two nights?
I know your appointment is early,
but why hang around in Paris?
I want to.
I can do some shopping.
Go to Galeries Lafayette.
It'll leave me time
to see your sister.
"... serious incident,
"we apologize
for the inconvenience."
What's he playing at?
If the route goes past
any nice monuments,
that would be great.
On your left, on the corner,
that large building
is the headquarters
of Europe Assistance.
- Great.
- There are a lot of large companies.
That building there is... Primagaz.
Hello.
- I'm nearly finished.
- That's fine.
Take your time.
Well, well.
"Welcome Mrs Brigitte Lecanu."
- Enjoy your stay.
- Thank you.
Excuse me.
I'll get a medium.
Can I help you?
Oh. Stan!
What a surprise.
You told me
you worked at American Apparel.
Yes. Yes.
I remember now.
What are you doing here?
I come to Paris, sometimes,
to... keep up with fashions.
Are you looking for something
in particular?
Er... yes, yes...
What's it called?
Bermuda shorts.
Bermudas.
For yourself?
Bermuda shorts for myself?
No, for a man.
I never wear Bermuda shorts.
And we don't have
our summer collection yet.
Ah. Oh, well,
that's a shame.
Are you cross
about the other night?
It was leave,
or you hold my hair while I threw up.
I was sad.
I'm here for two days.
We could maybe...
Maybe what?
Have dinner.
Stan, is someone covering
the changing room?
No. I'll get back.
Yes, please.
Can you move the boxes of leggings?
- Yes.
- Put them in the storeroom.
- Serious.
- And she was being nice.
Right.
You're taking me to dinner?
I finish at 7 o'clock.
Why don't you meet me
in the caf across the street.
See you tonight.
Wow.
Notre-Dame.
What is this magic material?
Well, it's a scarf,
a bandana, a scrunchie,
and a headband.
For an important meeting,
an interview,
I look the part.
For a more relaxed look,
I put my hair up,
and it works as a scrunchie.
There. Perfect.
It's cold!
It's freezing.
My magic material becomes a scarf.
Amazing, right?
- Mango?
- No, thank you.
- Present.
- That's kind.
Thank you very much.
Call it in.
What?
Street peddler, Jussieu metro.
What's he done?
What's the problem?
Those crates are mine.
I just bought them.
What will you do
with the avocados?
Guacamole.
What will you do with all that fruit?
Clafoutis?
Why can't you let him work?
Hey!
It's all I could save.
Do they often bother you?
You always have to run?
My name is Brigitte.
Brigitte.
- And you?
- Apu.
Abu? Or Apu?
Apu.
Apu.
Pakistani?
Indian. Me, Indian.
Are you from Paris?
No. I'm from Normandy.
Pays de Caux, in the country.
I'm a farmer.
Cows.
We breed them, and sell them.
Or the slaughterhouse.
That's forbidden.
Ah, yes, cows are sacred.
That's good. I don't like
our animals being killed.
- What do I owe you?
- Six euros.
Take these, as a thank you.
No. You must sell them.
Do you need any avocados?
I'm not in charge of purchasing.
He's friends with the police.
Hello, Stan.
Crappy material.
- Alright?
- Yes.
I'm really sorry
but...
I have to go to some friends.
They called me
because they're stuck.
The babysitter has let them down,
and they've asked me
to look after the kids.
Ah, OK.
Come with me.
It's fine.
They don't mind.
I don't want to.
With the kids, I don't think...
Their apartment is amazing.
It might be.
I'd feel uncomfortable.
How about this?
I put the kids to bed,
and then you come over.
How about it?
- The parents don't mind?
- They're cool.
It's not up for discussion.
You've no choice.
Xavier, supper is nothing special.
Laurette, is there any ice?
If you can't find any
in the freezer,
there isn't any.
I haven't hidden it.
He's such an oaf.
Did you speak to Brigitte?
No. I'll call her later.
Fred said she's seeing a doctor?
The dermatologist you recommended.
Who? Chapuis?
The one you saw about your mole.
Yes. Chapuis.
But he retired a year ago.
She has an appointment
tomorrow.
I tell you that's impossible.
Can you deal with them?
I called. The secretary told me.
Maybe she has an appointment
with a replacement.
- He's annoying me.
- I don't care.
Maybe.
We need...
some white wine.
Help yourself to snacks.
Ciao, ragazza.
Hi.
- Got the code?
- Yes. I received your text.
Brigitte.
Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Xavier. Oh...
I was going to call you.
No. I'm going to the cinema.
Is it open?
If you're ringing me,
my battery is flat.
The appointment is tomorrow.
Yes, yes.
B, like Brigitte, 19514.
I have to ring off, or I'll get lost.
Yes, I'll be careful.
Brigitte? Are you there?
You have to push it hard.
Alright?
Fine.
I'm sorry.
The children woke up.
You do have a loud voice.
Let's forget it.
I want my mummy.
She isn't here.
You'll see her tomorrow.
You can see your mummy,
why can't we?
- Good start.
- Quite.
No.
Your hand jerked.
- You...
- No.
Here come the Barbapapas
We'll have fun
In the Barbapapa family
They're asleep.
They can change
their shapes and sizes
Yippee.
What's that?
Allergic reaction to perfume.
It'll go.
Can you roll a joint?
No, I can't.
Not properly, anyway.
Me neither.
I'm useless.
My flatmate did it with three sheets.
Or the tulip. Know it?
- Tulip?
- Yes.
I can't do a tulip. No.
It's a bit like a flower.
It's hard.
But not as hard as the whistle.
- Yes. True.
- Anyway.
Perfect.
And... there.
The filter.
That's too much. Hold on...
Something odd happened today.
I was buying clementines
off this guy by the Mtro,
and the cops turned up.
It was awful.
A Paki?
- No. Indian.
- Yeah.
- And...
- Tell him
to sell pirated DVDs.
More profitable than fruit.
Most of the time they don't work.
It's all profit for him.
We get ripped off.
- Stan.
- I'll kill those kids.
Hold that.
Coming. Coming.
- What?
- I'm not sleepy.
- No. I don't want...
- I'll tell your mother.
- Brigitte.
- Leave Brigitte alone.
Brigitte!
Sorry.
My card isn't working.
I'll check it right away.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Have a good evening.
They won't eat you.
Come on.
Stupid woman.
Hello. Sorry about the noise.
I set the alarm off
with my cigarette.
You should tell reception.
I've called them.
They're sending someone.
What is your accent?
I'm Danish.
From Copenhagen.
Ah. OK.
You're visiting Paris?
I'm here for a conference.
- A conference?
- The dental conference.
- I'm a paradentist.
- What?
Gums.
Isn't this bad for your gums?
Well.
No-one's perfect.
I'm going to do something
I shouldn't.
I saw nothing.
Do you mind if I close the window?
Not at all.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
I'd like to make an appointment
with Chapuis please.
No-one replacing him?
There's no other dermatologist?
OK. Thank you.
Would you like a cocktail too?
Hello.
Brigitte.
What a surprise.
- Alright?
- Yes.
I left my phone.
I know. It's in my jacket.
Could you fetch it?
No.
I can't move from here.
So?
Meet me outside at midday.
Since you asked so nicely.
Rgis.
I'm going out.
Can you stay here tonight?
Are you joining your wife?
No. Well... It's complicated.
I have to get something.
I may not be back tonight.
Can you look after things?
Yes. I just need to tell Clia.
I'll pay you extra.
I should hope so.
And don't say anything to Brigitte,
if you don't mind.
- You could have told me.
- What?
I've been waiting 20 minutes.
- Can I have my phone?
- Yes.
Hold that.
I called a mate in Costa Rica.
I...
Joke.
Heard of those?
Are we quits?
Thank you.
Sorry.
- Can I have my burger?
- Yes.
Thanks.
Is the Mtro that way?
Yes. The station is Pyramides.
Where are you going?
To buy material
at Saint-Pierre market.
To make your own Bermuda shorts?
You'd prefer the bus.
Get the 81.
There's a stop there.
To Place de Clichy, then walk.
- Perfect.
- Right.
I'll be off.
You normally leave
without saying goodbye.
There are sites
for women like you.
Cougars.
Hello.
Are you well?
Yes. I'm fine. Yes.
I'm sorry, I don't know your name.
- Brigitte.
- Nice to meet you.
I'm Jesper.
Was it nice?
Yes, it was nice.
Would you like to go for a walk?
What?
There's a trip to Montmartre.
But I don't like being in a group.
The thing is...
I'm busy tonight.
And before that?
It's not late.
You look like
you're going to the opera.
And you, Siberia.
Oh, he's so cute.
Do you have other children?
I had a daughter.
No. I have a daughter.
No. I had a daughter.
Where is this?
Nykbing Sjlland.
- Where?
- Nykbing Sjlland.
Even we can't pronounce it.
- It's a seaside resort...
- Oh. Sorry...
It's fine.
That's my wife Ingeborg.
Fancy it?
- The big wheel?
- Yes.
Isn't it dangerous?
No. Not at all.
Come on.
OK.
We should use the crossing.
No. It's fine.
In Paris, you use the crossing.
No. It's dangerous.
Did you know that Copenhagen
had the first
amusement park in the world?
Tivoli.
In 1843.
Its creator, Georg Carstensen,
persuaded king Christian VIII
of the necessity of building it.
According to him,
when people have fun,
they forget about politics.
Are you OK?
No. Not really.
Relax.
Look.
We're going up slowly.
- Enjoying the view.
- No. I can't look.
- OK.
- Tell me anything.
Please talk to me.
Right... Yes...
Tivoli is in the centre
of Copenhagen.
Next to the station.
At night, with the lights,
it's incredible.
- Walt Disney had the idea...
- Be quiet.
I'd rather you were quiet.
- Are we going down?
- Well...
We've hardly started.
- Better?
- Yes. Sorry.
My fault. I shouldn't have
taken you up there.
What time is it?
I'm meeting my sister-in-law.
My husband's sister.
She insisted we have dinner together.
You never told me
what you're doing in Paris.
No. I never did.
I think Grands Boulevards
is that way.
Plenty of places to eat.
I'll be fine.
Don't be cross, but I have to go.
Should we shake hands?
In case your sister-in-law
is watching?
No. We can kiss goodbye.
- Sure?
- Yes.
If she's seen us,
what will you say?
That I couldn't resist
a tall handsome Dane.
Goodbye.
When you get back,
meet me in the hotel bar.
I'll no doubt be drowning my sorrows.
There's no need to do that.
You snuggled up in my arms.
I did not.
Goodbye.
No. See you later.
I like this place.
It hasn't changed.
They're redoing them all.
The cafes, the bistros.
They paint them purple,
or Burgundy, and add trendy lighting.
And a huge TV screen.
Drives me mad.
I don't mind buying a drink,
but I don't want to watch football.
Yes, quite. Yes.
Have you decided, ladies?
No.
And I'd like to have an aperitif.
We don't go out for dinner often.
What would you like?
- I don't know. A Martini?
- Good idea. Two Martinis.
And do you have any olives?
Cute. Not bright, but cute.
It's like a desert for me.
Dead calm.
- What?
- My love life.
So I signed up to Meetic.
But they're all crazy.
There was one who...
I can't even tell you,
it was so...
I did get on with one guy...
Nothing will happen between us.
But he could be a good friend.
Not good-looking, but funny.
A bit like my brother.
Good evening.
Not bad. But I prefer the waiter.
Keep your voice down.
He doesn't speak French.
Must be Swedish or Finnish.
I find Scandinavians dull.
Not hairy enough.
We were dying of thirst.
And the olives?
If I don't eat, too,
I'll be dancing on the tables.
I'll bring them.
Cheers?
It's all business these days.
They saw how well
coffee capsules worked,
now they're doing it with tea.
Honestly.
Is it so hard to use a tea bag?
I don't think it'll work.
Bad idea.
And if the company goes bust,
you can't get the capsules.
You have to sell the machine
on eBay.
Talking of eBay.
I was looking for a hammock.
I found one,
but it was 400 euros.
That's a lot for a bit of cloth,
isn't it?
As you say, it's all business.
How did it go
with the dermatologist?
Fine.
Well... He understood.
Did he give you something?
Xavier says it's worse.
Yes. Yes.
- We'll have to wait...
- Let me see.
No. I'm not...
I've seen it before.
But...
- There's no need to...
- Come on.
- Let me see.
- No, Christiane.
I said no and I mean it.
Excuse me.
I'm neither Finnish nor Swedish,
but Danish. I wanted to clarify that.
Goodnight.
How embarrassing.
Did I say anything awful?
- Well...
- Shit.
He should have spoken French.
He comes into my office
all smiles.
He wanted
to dump the client on me.
Ah, yes.
I wasn't having it.
I said:
"Not for me, that hot potato."
There's a taxi.
Taxi!
- Bye.
- Bye.
Tell my brother he can call me.
I always ring him.
Safe journey home, Christiane. Bye.
Come on. What's this?
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
Guten Abend
meine Damen und Herren.
Buenas noches,
signoras y signores.
Maestro.
Hello.
Remember me?
Bruno Massoulier.
Quality farming equipment.
I came to see you a year ago,
and you bought the udder protectors.
And an igloo.
With an enclosure.
Yes. That's right.
My wife, Stphanie.
Hello.
Did your husband enjoy the show?
I was very disappointed by it.
The feathers and dancers
are for the weekend.
They tell you that afterwards.
Once you've paid.
There's nothing you can do...
Good evening.
But it was very good.
Shall we go?
- Enjoy your evening.
- You too.
Bye.
That's not her husband.
Is something wrong?
Let's leave it here.
We could go back together.
Or would you prefer
we take separate taxis?
Skol.
Skol.
How about some music?
Monica Zetterlund.
- Did I pronounce it well?
- Very well.
She was Swedish.
My father is Swedish.
So Christiane wasn't wrong.
No.
It's lovely.
Yes.
But a bit sad.
What's it about?
Oh no...
I'd better go.
No.
This is silly.
Birgit.
Goodnight, Jesper.
So that's...
the forbidden zone.
Yes.
Have you been to the Dead Sea?
No.
I ask, because in Denmark,
people like you, who have
eczema, or...
psoriasis,
the health service
pays for them to go to the Dead Sea
in Israel.
It seems the treatment works.
But I
have my own method.
What's wrong?
You always go to the toilet
when it's time to pay.
What do you want me to do?
It's always me forking out.
I'll pay next time.
You'll make sure it's still me.
Do you want me to sign something?
"Read and approved".
You said it was your turn.
- Yes? Or no?
- OK.
I get conned every time.
I was tired.
Dad? What are you doing here?
I'd been to see a client,
and thought I'd take a detour.
Don't mind me.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Yeah, go ahead.
Is there something you want to say?
No, no.
Take care.
Come and see us more.
OK.
That's the worst pasta ever.
She'll come back.
Don't worry.
How do you know?
I just know.
Your wife loves you.
Have you heard something?
Seen something?
No.
But I'm here...
with both of you.
I know things.
I went to Paris.
I saw her with a man.
Well,
when you're too curious,
you get hurt.
She's cheating on me, Rgis.
She's lying to me.
Have you never been unfaithful?
Sorry to be so direct.
But you had a fling
and you came back.
She was sitting in the kitchen too.
She was crying.
She thought you'd leave her.
She was distraught.
I told her the same thing.
How did she know?
I think she followed you.
You're alike.
That's why you love each other.
Well,
I'll be off.
Can I come in late tomorrow?
Of course.
Good night.
I hope you enjoyed your stay
and see you again.
Thanks very much.
Goodbye.
Have a nice day. Goodbye.
Thank you very much.
Your attention, please...
- Good journey?
- Yes.
- Was the train full?
- It was almost empty.
What did the doctor say?
He told me to go to Israel.
The Dead Sea.
Apparently the sun
and salt water are good.
And you can have mud baths.
He says it's the best.
Hello.
When you sell a bull,
you don't give a guarantee
like for a household appliance.
Let me make this clear.
You're not getting a penny.
You think you're going
to make money out of us.
Well, I'm not a mug.
See you in court.
I can prove
I offered you an exchange.
And don't call me at night,
or I'll drive over
and smash your face in.
Bumpkin.
I should leave you alone more.
You missed the turning.
I did some shopping.
The sales were on.
Rock-bottom prices.
Nice, isn't it?
And I went to Saint-Pierre market
to buy material for curtains.
I'm bored with the velvet.
Are you alright?
Yes. I'm fine.
Thanks for bringing me here.
You've put on a shirt and tie.
What are you competing for?
What do you think?
I don't know.
- Scallops?
- For me.
Thanks.
And the tournedos, sir.
Enjoy your meal.
What's wrong?
Miss.
This isn't tournedos,
it's rumpsteak.
It is tournedos.
Well, I'll go and check.
Thank you.
You haven't tried it.
I don't need to.
It isn't tournedos.
It's rumpsteak.
I'll speak to the chef.
I'm going to start.
It's not her fault.
Did I shout at her?
Calm down.
I am calm.
The chef says it is tournedos.
Try it.
You're annoying me now.
I'm trying it.
I'll say what I said before.
It's rumpsteak.
Can I see the chef?
Eat, it'll get cold.
If you're proving
you've got balls,
you did that, in the car.
Don't provoke me.
It's only a piece of meat.
Don't lecture me.
This is a seafood restaurant.
Sorry, the chef is too busy.
He assures me it's tournedos,
but if you'd like something else?
So I'm wrong?
You bring him over,
so he can try it.
Lower your voice.
I breed cattle.
I know the difference
between tournedos, which is here,
and rumpsteak, here.
Sorry, could we have the bill?
Why say sorry?
- You turn the other cheek...
- What?
- The bill...
- You could just eat it.
But it isn't tournedos!
Xavier.
Come to bed.
I'm coming.
What's wrong with Big Jim?
His hoof?
No, I think he's depressed.
Since we separated him
from Bora Bora.
Before, they'd romp about,
and he was fine.
He thought she'd gone.
He's been doing silly things.
He's seen that she's back.
He's panicking.
He's worried it won't be the same.
Will he be up to it?
Of course he will.
Nothing's changed.
Tell Big Jim.
Everything is fine.
Are you sure?
Yes.
What?
You know that
Internet and I aren't best friends.
Yes.
And?
I wanted to make you happy.
I went on a travel site
and booked two weeks in Israel.
Really?
You'll get to see the Dead Sea.
- Are you kidding?
- No.
Only,
I didn't pay enough attention,
and to get to Tel Aviv,
we go via Glasgow.
What?
I didn't notice.
- It'll take all day.
- More or less.
- The return is via Lisbon.
- What?
The fine print.
Obviously.
They never write that
in huge flashing letters.
- We can cancel it.
- We're not cancelling it.
No. We're not cancelling it.
- We'll still go?
- Yes.
It'll do us good.
I hope so.
That's a drinking trough.
For water.
It gets clogged up.
You have to clean it.
Unlatch it.
The straw mustn't block it.
You have to get to the bottom
and take it out.
Like that.
Got it, Apu?
Straw.
Yes. Straw.
Check it.
What else can we show him?
Pulp.
Yes.
Beet pulp. Come on.
You won't be carrying the case.
You don't need a pullover.
I'll get on quicker on my own.
Fine.
Don't forget my Bermuda shorts.
I had the Bermuda shorts.
You should see a road...
on your right.
Where does it go?
Surprise.
Nice welcome.
OK.
I get it.
Oh, my goodness.
Crazy.
In the middle of a desert.
Look at all the fans!