Parker's Anchor (2017) Movie Script

1
(audience murmuring)
- My family is unique, because it's my mom, my dad,
my weird little brother, me, our three dogs, two cats,
our aquarium full of fish, and our pet snake.
- She was born in Kansas and loved everything about flight.
- One side of my family loves pink
and the other side loves sports.
- We like to go to amusement parks together.
- We like to go on awesome vacations together.
- Hang out at my grandma's house.
- My mom's a doctor and so is my dad.
- And we're twins.
- I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up.
- My family's all different.
My brother. - Basketball.
That's what makes my family special.
- We all love to travel in see places,
but the lack of hot water can be interesting to deal with.
- We all have different personalities.
- Did I mention my dad is vastly outnumbered?
- My favorite thing to do on the farm.
- [Girl] We are very close as a family,
and we're very unique.
- Is drive tractors and four-wheelers.
Farming is a big part of our life.
(audience applauding)
(upbeat music)
- Oh, hi, so glad you're here, okay,
you're up next, alright?
- [Little Girl] My mom calls me her little anchor.
Not the kind that holds you down,
but the kind you take with you on a big adventure
and can make you feel grounded.
- On a train from Omaha.
(audience applauding)
- [Little Girl] My granddad was a shrimp boat captain
for a long time.
Then one day, he had a baby girl.
That was my mom.
And he always said that she was the anchor
that kept his boat from floating back out to sea.
My mom used to live in a big city far away.
She used to do lots of fancy things with her husband.
They were really silly and had lots of fun together.
She was really happy.
They were so happy that they decided to have a baby.
My mom is really smart, so she researched and studied
the best way and the best time to set sail
on her next journey.
- [Krystal] So I was thinking about moving some furniture
in the bedroom, but gosh, it's hard with these heels.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- [Andrew] You need a big, strong man?
- [Krystal] I think I might need a big, strong man,
somebody who can move some furniture for me.
- [Andrew] Like a BIG, strong man.
- [Krystal] Yeah, like a HUGE, strong man.
- [Andrew] Like huge?
- [Krystal] Yeah, huge.
- [Little Girl] Sometimes they would stop in the middle of the day
to study the tides.
My mom was so excited that she started to get ready
for a baby even before she knew when I would arrive.
- You got, uh, the wipers.
- There's a sunroof!
- [Little Girl] This made her very happy.
(Krystal humming)
She even started practicing my favorites.
Somehow, she knew I would love chocolate chip cookies.
(smoke alarm beeping)
She's a really good cook.
She was really excited to have her own little anchor.
(pensive music)
(Krystal crying)
But in order to get a baby, she had to pass a test.
So she went to an expert for help.
- [Little Girl] My mom says it's always okay to ask for help.
- We got your test results back.
- [Little Girl] That's when my mom was told
that she would never pass the test.
- And I'm afraid it's not the news we would have hoped for.
At this point, it looks as though
you will be unable to conceive naturally.
Now I know this isn't the news that you wanted to hear,
but there are options.
We're going to do everything we can.
(pensive music)
(Krystal and Andrew arguing)
(Krystal crying)
- [Andrew] What are you talking about, alright!
That is nonsense, alright, and the books,
I'm so tired of just following the instructions.
- I am trying, trying! - That's not how you live.
Alright! - No, and listen, we will,
okay, we'll go on a trip together.
We'll get some (drowned out by Andrew).
- [Andrew] I just think it's best.
I think it's best. - We don't have to
start a family anytime soon.
No, I don't want you to leave
because you think that you should leave me.
(Andrew drowned out by music)
(somber music)
- [Little Girl] This is when mama's boat started to drift away.
Most people like company when they are sad,
but for some reason, her husband decided to leave.
So mom was left all alone.
(somber music)
She said that that is when she decided
to leave the big city and come back to where she grew up.
(pensive music)
- Krys, what are?
(somber music)
Oh, sweetie.
- [Little Girl] My aunt Corinne is the best at cheering people up
when they are sad.
- [Krystal] You have a lot of sad sauce in stock.
- [Corinne] I've found it's best
to have some on hand, just in case.
- Even the gumballs?
- Some things make us feel better
because of the memories they carry,
no matter how ridiculous it is.
- Thank you.
- I'm glad you're here.
Some people try for years, and sometimes the best way
to get pregnant is to stop trying.
- [Krystal] No, I already know, I know, it's just,
the doctor was very clear, I can't get pregnant.
- [Krystal] She wasn't wrong, they weren't all wrong.
- [Corinne] Okay.
- [Krystal] I'm sorry, it's just,
I've already been through this
and I don't know what to do now.
(dramatic music)
- [Little Girl] My mom says that when the storm gets too rough,
people can get lost at sea, and they need a little light
to help them find their way back.
(dramatic music)
(moves into upbeat music)
- [Corinne] Good morning, how you doing?
- [Krystal] Oh, I have missed Arsaga's.
- [Corinne] Still the best way to wake up.
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you, I just have to go to the shop for a little bit,
thought I'd leave this here for you, for when you woke up.
- Thanks.
- Okay, well, make yourself at home.
There should be plenty of food, and if you need anything,
you, what am I saying?
You know this place just as well as I do.
- I'll binge something.
- Sure you're okay?
- Yeah, thanks.
- [Corinne] Okay, well, let me know if you need anything.
Other remotes just change TV input, alright.
- I'll text you.
Bye. - Okay.
(somber music)
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Your eyes are getting heavy
And your body's getting ready
The clock strikes midnight, driftin' away
Mama's gonna keep all the darkness at bay
Rock-a-bye child on the treetop
The clock keeps ticking
But I wish it would stop
I'll hold you tightly
Just as long as I can
'Cause mama knows that one day
That you'll grow into
(somber music)
- Krys, I'm home.
I know it's November and it's really cold outside,
but I've got a couple of concretes from Andy's.
Only time of the year you can get nog cream.
Krys?
(somber music)
Sweetie, what are you doing?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
- Well, do you want to come inside?
- No.
(somber music)
- [Corinne] What, what are you doing, what's going on?
(thunder rumbling)
- [Krystal] I would have been a pretty preggo.
- Yeah, you would have been.
Pretty chubby person with your round face.
Did that, like, give you pregnancy cravings?
I got a couple nog cream concretes inside.
- Yes, please.
I just don't know what I have to look forward to now.
- [Corinne] Sweetie, you have so much to look forward to.
- [Krystal] No, you know what I mean.
I, ever since I was a little girl,
I really wanted to be a mom.
It just, it just hurts so badly, how do I make it better?
It's not fair.
- I'm a woman and I should get to do this.
Women get to do this.
I want to feel, I want to feel him kick.
I want to feel it.
- [Corinne] I know, I know.
(somber music)
- You got coffee again?
- No, I made it.
There's this crazy new machine called a coffeemaker.
It's great, that way, you buy your own beans,
you make it in the comfort of your own home.
- You are blowing my mind.
(Corinne imitates gun booming)
Do you have to go that job thingie again?
- Soon, but I think that you should go with me.
- You don't have to sister-sit me.
- Okay, yesterday, I came home to you sitting outside
in the freezing cold with hardly any clothes on
and a pillow tucked under your shirt.
- That wasn't my finest hour, I'll admit that,
but I think I'm okay.
- No.
- I'd much rather stay here.
- Okay, no, you are going with me, and we are having fun.
- [Krystal] Okay.
- [Corinne] Upstairs.
- I don't have to do my hair, do I?
Don't answer.
- [Corinne] Okay.
- Coffeemaker, you say, what will they think of next?
- A box that makes bread into toast.
What?
I know. - (laughs) That's not a thing.
- I saw it in a catalog.
(upbeat music)
On the first snowfall
On the first of December
The first thing I told you
- [Krystal] It's really spacious, it's beautiful.
- [Corinne] Thanks, Krys.
- Oh, it's just a little store, but it's a start.
- [Krystal] No, it's your own store.
You didn't give up on your dreams.
You became a fashion princess.
- (laughs) Hardly, you were the one out there
in the big city, living the dream,
writing fashion articles for fancy-shmancy magazines
and wearing fabulous clothes to all those events.
- Being Andrew's arm candy isn't as fun
as it looks like in the photos.
(Corinne scoffs)
But you've got this shop, your own shop, loving husband.
- You know that this store would not exist
if it weren't for you.
Sister stores taking over the town.
- Guess we could do that.
- Mm-hmm.
Good morning, Tess.
- Hey.
- Tess, this is my childhood friend Krystal.
Krystal, this is Tess, my best gal.
The store would be in shambles if it were not for her.
- Not at all.
(whispers) Completely true.
- Alright, ready?
Let's go.
- Nice to meet you, Tess.
- Dits, bae.
- I feel old.
- [Corinne] (laughs) She is fantastic with customers.
- [Krystal] She talks to people?
What are we doing here?
- [Corinne] I think you need to get your mind off things
for a little bit.
- [Krystal] Visiting the high school?
- [Krystal] Oh, I see, seeing what the hip kids
are wearing, taggin' in the bathroom.
- [Corinne] Just come with me.
- [Krystal] Should we check the bathrooms?
- [Corinne] You want to go hide in there?
- [Krystal] Yes.
- [Corinne] No.
- [Krystal] It's the prize spot from high school.
- [Krystal] I think they've rearranged things a little bit.
It looks clean.
- [Little Girl] My mom left home after granddad died
and never went back.
She didn't know how something old could make you feel new.
- [Corinne] Thanks, Rose.
- [Rose] No problem.
- Come on, come up here with me.
- Up there?
- Come on.
And to kick off our 1997 Fayetteville High talent show,
we have the dance stylings of CK Three.
Hey, Karen, are you ready?
Yeah.
Hey, Krystal, are you ready?
- No.
Sure.
Hey, Corinne, are you ready?
- Yeah, can you remember it?
- Yeah, no, yeah.
- Maybe, just a little bit?
- Yeah, a couple of 'em, well, two or three spots.
- How could we forget?
- Yeah, exactly, anxiety dreams for years, decades.
(upbeat music)
So you and Kevin as happy as ever?
- Yeah, we really are.
- I'm happy for you.
- I'm one of the lucky ones, and I know that.
- I thought I was one of the lucky ones,
but I guess the odds were stacked against us,
so we couldn't both be the lucky ones.
- Okay, we all thought that he was a great guy,
taking you away on some grand adventure.
- [Krystal] I'm so embarrassed.
- [Corinne] Why are you embarrassed?
- We're just a statistic now.
We're just another marriage that didn't work out.
- Is there any way you might work it out?
- What kind of a guy packs his bags and leaves his wife
days after, like, crushing medical news?
No, I don't think we're ever getting back together.
I could never trust him again.
- Well, did you guys ever talk about adoption?
I mean, I know that that's not the same,
but there are so many kids who need a loving home,
and that's exactly what you could have given.
- When the doctor told me I couldn't have kids,
I was devastated and I didn't even want to discuss adoption,
but it didn't matter anyway, because when the doctor
asked Drew about it, he said no.
- Why?
- He said he didn't have that kind of time.
It could take years and he had already wasted so much time.
- Wow.
I am, I am sorry, Krys.
You know what?
You deserve better than that pudding-head.
You want another glass?
- No, I think I'm gonna turn in.
- Me too.
- [Krystal] Good night, Corinne.
- [Corinne] Good night, Krys.
- Thank you for giving me a good day today.
- Dits, bae.
It's ovulation time
Yes, it's ovulation time
I know because you set an alarm on my phone
So here I am in our home
It's time to make a baby
Gonna do that with my baby
And just so you're aware
I know I rhymed baby with baby
And I don't care
It's time to romance my wife
Gonna spend the next nine months
Preparing for a new little life
My wife's gonna get real big
My wife's gonna get real fat fat Fat fat
But I'm still gonna love her
I might love her more
And why do you think I would say that, that
'Cause this gives me opportunity
To blame my weight on sympathy
She will be so B-E-A-yoo-ti-ful
With a little baby growing inside of her
And now it's baby-making time
Apparently on the couch
'Cause nothing gets her in the mood
Quite like a rhyme
And I'm no slouch
(Krystal applauding slowly)
Oh, on the couch.
- [Corinne] Yeah.
- Krystal's here.
Hi, Krystal.
- Hi, Kevin.
Do you want to move so you guys can have the couch?
- No, no, no, no, you're fine, we'll, we'll readjust, yeah.
- Welcome home.
- [Kevin] Hi, missed ya, so aren't you ovulate--
- [Corinne] No, not now.
- Don't you guys like talk about--
- Not now.
- Okay.
So Krystal, I didn't know you were coming.
How is Drew?
How is Drew Barrymore seen and thought of in Los Angeles,
now, something I've wondered for a long time,
but we just haven't talked,
but thought maybe you would know,
'cause I'm just kinda not in the loop like you are.
- Yeah, Drew and I aren't really together anymore.
- You and Drew Barrymore were a thing?
See, you never told me that.
- You are such an idiot (laughs).
- You're an idiot.
- Will you go get some clothes on?
- So just because Krystal's here,
that means I don't get to do my normal routine?
And take my clothes off when I walk in the front door.
- Krystal, if you want, I'll make breakfast.
- I mean, I'm just trying to be myself.
This time, I happened to sing a song, not unheard of.
- Kevin, you want breakfast?
- I feel like you're not even listening to me.
- [Corinne] Oh, we are listening to all of your words.
- [Kevin] Oh, great.
- Do you want breakfast?
- Sure.
- [Corinne] How was the game?
- [Kevin] Uh, it was good, we had a lot of fun.
- [Krystal] Does that mean you lost?
- No, it doesn't mean we lost.
It means I'm trying to instill in the kids
that it's more important to have fun
than to win or lose.
- That's a good lesson.
- Thanks, they totally haven't grasped it.
- Mm, you're the head coach now?
- I am, yeah, which I like, and I think the kids
look up to me and respect me, probably 'cause my style
is pretty on par.
- [Krystal] Obviously, yeah.
- He totally gets it from me.
- I notice the Christmas decorations are out
before Thanksgiving.
- Hey, it's two days away.
- You're a crazy person now.
- [Kevin] Oh, so she wasn't always crazy?
- I will leave them there until after Thanksgiving.
- [Krystal] There?
- Yes, it's nice to have them out and ready to go.
Look, it may be Black Friday for the rest of America,
but for us, it is Christmas Tree Friday.
- You've changed, I don't even know who you are.
- So, I dropped some food on my boxers.
Um, but it's cool, I'm just gonna take 'em off,
so everyone, carry on.
- I've got nowhere to go, but I'm gonna get ready.
- So it's just me and you.
- I have to finish getting ready for work.
Oh, remind me I have something important to tell you.
- Okay.
That worked better than I thought.
I've got eggs on this one
Pancakes on this one
(murmuring and humming)
Time between us
Than most have in years
I try to find an occupation
Something to pass the time
The distance is real
Without our line
- Bartender, let me get two Adios Amgioses.
- No.
That says it all
All my life
- So, did you pick a song?
- No.
- Why, I told you, you are singing,
so you need to pick a song.
- I don't even know these songs.
I got this for you.
- Thank you.
When we meet
Our urgencies, have no fear
- [Little Girl] My mom was now surrounded by friends,
but she still felt very alone at sea.
Oh, oh, you're the sweetest thing
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you're the sweetest thing
Oh, oh, oh, oh
- What song are we doing?
- I'm not gonna tell you.
Don't worry about it, you'll know it.
- When does Kevin get out of practice?
I'm gonna put him up there for me.
- I'm sure he'll be here soon, and no, you will not.
- Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out tonight.
We have a very special song for you this evening.
- [Little Girl] My dad is really silly.
- There is something that we are all victims of,
and sometimes, when you want to move past something
emotionally, you just have to sing about that experience.
And that is what we are going to do for you right now,
so are y'all ready?
Alright.
- [Krystal] Is that Kevin's brother?
- [Corinne] Yeah.
- [Jared] Hit it, DJ.
- I don't understand what's happening.
- [Corinne] Just watch.
My hair had a party last night
It must have got into a terrible fight
'Cause when my head hit the pillow
It was lookin' alright
My hair had a party last night
My hair had a party last night
When I laid down, everything was alright
It started out friendly
(upbeat music)
(crowd applauding and cheering)
- [Corinne] Good job, babe.
- [Kevin] Thanks.
- It's a good thing you let the kids dance,
they're really good at it.
Should they be here in a bar?
- Oh, it's fine, we got special permission.
- [Krystal] Well, that's just good parenting.
- Ooh, gotta run, love you.
- Love you.
- They do a show with the kids every time.
- Of course he does.
That's not weird.
- [Man] We're on break, it's not gonna happen.
No.
- [Jared] We should probably take the kids home.
- [Kevin] Okay.
- [Jared] So I'll be right back, okay?
- Oh, hey, you two, I was just, uh, I was just gonna go
drop the kids off home, but I wanted to say hi before I go.
- [Krystal] Yes, and great job, very impressive performance.
- Thank you very much, I appreciate that.
It was impressive, wasn't it?
Oh, you know what, I got, like, one more minute for my fans.
What were you saying about the performance?
- [Corinne] Jared.
- [Jared] Yeah?
- [Corinne] Get outta here.
- Okay, I'll get outta here.
There's a couple of drinks coming for you, so enjoy.
- [Krystal] Oh, thank you.
- I'll take that.
My name is Ivory Bill
I'm a woodpecker, you see
Now that we're friends, the story begins
Just call me Ivory
I know what they were thinking
Another young bird with dreams
So I had to get out so I flew down south
To seek a better tree
My name is Ivory Bill
You ain't seen me in a long time 'til
You spotted me up in the tall, tall trees
Mosquito eatin', larvae-seeking
In the swamps of Arkansas
So come and see me and the family
Peck peck peckin' in the trees
I spent some time in Hollywood
Tryin' to make it in the biz
But nobody's seeking that larvae-eatin'
Bird that sounds like this
- Went to the store.
Here's one of those fancy-schmancy coffeemakers.
Be home in an hour.
(peaceful music)
- [Kevin] Hey, Krystal.
- Hey, Kevin, um, I'm just checking in.
You guys have been grocery-shopping a long time,
and I didn't hear from Corrine and I called her
and she didn't pick up, so just checking in.
- [Kevin] We were in a car accident.
- [Corinne] We are fine!
- [Kevin] We are at the hospital.
- [Kevin] I'm fine, Corinne is going to get checked out.
- [Krystal] Okay, I'll be right there.
- There's no need.
I have so much to do, can we please just go, I'm fine.
- No, we are waiting here for the doctor
to come check you out and say that everything is okay.
- Oh, my God, this is ridiculous, I'm fine.
- We were just in an accident.
Excuse me for being concerned about my family.
- You are blowing this way out of proportion.
I barely spilt my coffee, I'm fine.
You should not be drinking coffee now that you are pregnant.
- [Krystal] You're pregnant?
- Um, yes, I'm pregnant.
- Why didn't you tell me?
Is the baby okay, are you okay?
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
- We're waiting for the doctor.
- I'll go to the waiting room.
Congratulations.
- Hey, Krys.
Kevin.
- [Kevin] I'm sorry, but she was gonna find out eventually.
- I know.
I know, I just hope that she's okay.
(somber music)
(Jared whistling)
- Krystal.
- Hi.
- Hey.
You alright?
- [Krystal] Yeah, fine.
- Can I go talk to her?
- No, you're waiting for the doctor, wait.
- Can I have my coffee, at least?
Kidding.
- [Receptionist] Shane Metzel, the doctor will see you now.
- Shane Metzel?
Wetzel Metzel, Wetzel Metzel pretzel.
Did you go in to see 'em yet?
- Oh, Kevin and Corinne?
- Mm-hmm. - Yes, they're fine,
I'm sorry, I didn't want you to think
there was something wrong.
- No, I already, I talked to Kevin.
He filled me in on everything, so.
- Oh, well good.
- Is the baby okay?
- You know?
- Yeah, yeah, it's super-exciting, right?
For me more than anybody.
I'm sure the baby's fine, though, I mean,
Corinne didn't sound like too concerned or.
- Yeah, it's really great.
- Are you sure you're alright?
- Yeah, just personal stuff.
- Well, you want to talk?
I mean, I am a person, so I think I'd understand, like,
person-al stuff.
- Wow, you really are Kevin's brother.
- [Jared] Yeah, that I am.
- Same stupid sense of humor.
- Wow, stupid, I wouldn't call it stupid.
That's not very nice.
I mean, oh, wait, you're from LA, right?
So when you say stupid, you really mean cool, right?
Like, yo, son, that joke was stupid, oh.
So thank you.
- Yeah, dog, that joke was hella stupid, yo.
- Yeah, see.
- I need to just find out if she's fine.
- Okay, you wait, doctor comes in, I'll go check on her.
- Can you check on her now?
- I'm weighing myself.
Wait.
Sit down.
Pregnant. - You go.
I don't care, go, check on her.
- I'll check on her.
- Okay, yeah. - Yeah.
- [Krystal] Wow, you know me so well.
- [Jared] I do, you're an easy read.
- You bring the real me out.
- Yeah, I do.
This office is stupid.
It is stupid, this is a weird office.
The doctors are wondering what we're talking about.
- I'm so embarrassed (laughs).
(upbeat music)
- I mean, what kind of card says,
I'm sorry you were in a car accident, glad you're okay,
and glad to hear the baby's still safe,
and you're a goober, Kevin.
Which one says that?
Oh, how 'bout this one?
- [Krystal] What does it say?
Siento mucho lo de tu carro pero que bueno
que el bebe, bebe esta bien
What does that say?
- Exactly, see, that's what I'm thinking.
They don't speak Spanish, either, so this can mean
whatever it is they want it to mean,
or what we want it to mean.
- I like it, but if there was an option B,
I'd be very interested.
- Okay, fair enough.
- [Krystal] I'm really sorry about before.
- What before?
- In the waiting room.
I just, I waited my whole life to be pregnant
and start a family.
- Yeah, yeah, I was a little surprised you weren't, uh,
a little happier.
that I am unable to have kids, no little anchor for me.
- Anchor, that's an odd thing to call a kid.
- No, yes, no, it's, um, my dad used to call us
his little anchors, we kept him grounded.
Like the best thing that ever happened to him,
little anchors that kept him from floating adrift.
- That's nice.
- Yeah, well.
- Yeah, you know what I think?
I think you're a little sad.
- It gets better.
My husband found out and left me,
because family is super-important to him,
so he decided that he should leave me.
- What a jerk (growls).
- [Krystal] Yeah, what is that for?
- I don't know, that's a good question, it really is.
For someone you hate, you know?
- Yeah. - It's working, though,
for what I'm trying to do.
- Oh yeah, it's great, good stuff, keep it comin'.
- Um, so to answer your question, that is why I am here,
and I don't know how long I'm here,
and I just realized that I need a new sofa to stay on,
because mine's about to get really crowded with a baby.
I need to find a new couple that has a nice couch
and I don't have any friends here.
Do you live here, do you have friends I could steal?
- You want to steal my friends?
- [Krystal] Yeah.
- That's weird, yeah, unfortunately, I mean,
ever since Kevin and I came from Maine,
I've sort of been here part time,
so I don't really have, like, a buddy to call on.
Actually, you know what?
I could introduce you to some nice women I work with.
They're a sweet bunch.
- I could use a bunch like that.
- Oh, well, good, we'll get you a bunch like that,
a whole bunch of 'em.
You know what we should do, though?
We should get a bunch of those balloons.
- Yes, we can put it in or on their car
to distract from the damage?
- I like that thinking. - Yeah.
- That is great thinking.
- I know, proactive here.
- So no cards except for this one,
because this one, we are gonna send to that jerk in LA.
- Seriously, what card section is this?
- [Jared] Wow.
- [Krystal] Seriously.
- Think he overreacted a little bit because of the baby?
- Their poor kid.
- Yeah.
Hey, kid, you want some balloons?
and I don't really love chocolate, so if you love chocolate,
I'd love for you to have these.
- [Kid] I love chocolate, thank you!
- [Jared] Absolutely, good, yeah, have a great day.
- [Kid] Thank you so much.
(upbeat music)
- [Krystal] What else do you know about him?
- [Corinne] Nothing except his name is Clinton.
- Wait, who are we talking about?
- My mom's new boyfriend.
- His name is Clinton, how old is he?
- I don't know, 50s, 60s, 70s, I don't know.
He's my mom's age.
- You sure, 'cause Clinton's like an old person's name.
- [Krystal] Are you telling me
that everybody named Clinton is old?
- [Jared] Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying.
Clintons were babies? - What are they doing?
- [Jared] They get their names changed.
- [Kevin] They're here.
- [Jared] When they're 65.
- [Laurie] Mommy's here!
Thanks, be careful.
- [Clinton] Hey.
- [Jared] You got it all, you got it?
Oh, hey, anything else?
- [Clinton] No, I'm good to go.
- [Jared] I'll grab those.
- [Laurie] Thank you, darling.
- [Jared] I'll get your jacket.
- I'm fine.
- No, no, I got it, come on. - No, no.
- [Jared] It's Clinton, right?
- [Clinton] Yeah, yeah, it is.
- [Jared] Cool, nice to meet ya.
- I generally go by my middle name, Seth.
It helps me to not feel like such an old guy.
- Oh, come on, Clinton doesn't sound old.
Well, Clinton's much cooler than Chet, yeah?
- No, it's Seth.
- Yeah, Chet.
- Seth, like, in the Bible.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, Chet, that's what I said.
- You know, let's just go with Clinton.
- Cool, let's do it with Clinton.
Let's get Clint a beverage, please.
- [Clinton] Yeah, that would be nice.
- So, Laurie, how did you and Clint meet?
- Oh, at that cruise I went on last month.
- [Kevin] Oh, that's nice, see, I've never been on a cruise,
but I've always wanted to.
You recommend 'em?
- Yes, yes, I do.
- We've just been reading about all the bad things
that have been happening on cruises,
so makes me a little nervous.
- Well, I've been on a lot of cruises,
and I haven't had any problems yet.
- You're a fan of ye old cruise, huh?
- Actually, um, I work for them.
- Oh, what do you do? - That's cool.
- I'm a dancer.
- [Kevin] You're, I'm sorry, you're a dancer on the ship?
- Yeah, you know, like,
nightly entertainment for the guests?
- [Krystal] Mm.
- So you're like a dancer, like,
like with the whole fancy outfit and everything?
- (laughs) Well, most nights, the attire is pretty nice,
but there are those nights when things are casual, you know.
- Mom, is this for real?
- Yeah, he's an amazing dancer.
- Oh, I couldn't take my eyes off of him,
and then one night, it was my turn with him, and (laughs).
- What type of dancing do you do?
- [Kevin] Yeah, are we talking, like, private dances?
- Well, I like to think that, uh,
when I'm dancing with a woman,
it feels like we're the only two in the room.
- [Laurie] You should see him waltz.
- [Corinne] (laughs) Waltz!
- Yes, waltz, it's a favorite amongst the ladies, you know.
And occasionally I slip in a tango,
and swing is always fun, you know.
There's also the country-western night with line dancing,
but on those nights we don't really ask the ladies to dance
as much as corral them onto the dance floor.
- Hey, hey.
- So, well, that's how we met, you know.
It wasn't necessarily the most romantic meet,
but it was cute.
I was working on the ship, dancing with the ladies
in the ballroom, trying to help them to have fun,
and then one night I got lucky
and I asked this lady to dance.
- Well, I think it's very romantic.
- Yes.
- Oh, oh, okay, so you're a, you're a dancer on this ship.
- We're so smart.
We're so locked in.
- Look, what he's saying is you're a dancer, not like a,
you know, like (beatboxes), like a dancer.
- Oh no, okay, you guys thought that I was a male dancer?
- [Kevin] Yeah!
- [Jared] Yeah.
- At my age?
- I mean, look at you (laughs).
- [Clinton] Well, thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.
- I'm good with it, yeah.
- [Clinton] No, I haven't been that kind of dancer yet.
- [Kevin] You should consider it.
- Uh, Kevin's a really good dancer.
You two might want to, like, exchange pointers.
- [Clinton] Really?
- Well, listen, I'm always up to learning something new,
so, please, show me.
- Well, I have some moves to show you.
- No, don't. - He likes to dance in aprons.
- Wait a minute.
- Only the apron, alright.
- Oh, I just want to say this, well done, everyone.
I'm officially food-drunk, and it feels so good
not to have had to cook anything.
- [Corinne] Thank you, mom.
- Now about that tofurkey.
No, I really have to say, I was impressed.
- But, no matter how good it is,
it can't replace the real thing.
- And that's fine, y'all don't have to like it.
I will eat the whole thing.
- I'm not complaining, but, uh, what's the deal
with lasagna for Thanksgiving?
Are you all Italian?
- [Kevin] Here's the thing, Clint.
- [Corinne] Oh, boy, here it comes.
- So the way I see it, Thanksgiving is a time to indulge
and eat all that you can handle.
So why should we limit ourselves
to just eating Thanksgiving foods?
If a marinara lasagna is something that I enjoy
and I'm thankful for, I feel like I should have it
at my Thanksgiving dinner.
- [Jared] Hear, hear.
- And cheese lasagna instead of bolognese, that's unique.
- That's a good question, Clint.
- A question (laughs).
- And yes, you're right.
The United States of America is a free country,
and we, as citizens of this free country
[Jared] (makes Patriotic trumpet sounding music)
should not be forced to eat the same type of lasagna
any time we want a lasagna.
What if I don't want meat in my lasagna?
What if I want a vegetarian lasagna,
but I don't want veggies in it?
What if I want a lasagna that has delicious marinara sauce,
well-cooked flat noodles, and a blend of cheeses?
If that is what I want, then should I not be able to have
that type of lasagna?
- Honey, sit down, it's okay, it's okay.
- So are you Italian or not?
- [Kevin] I think a little bit.
- (laughs) a little bit, okay.
- On that note, happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you very much for having me as a part
of your really weird family (laughs).
- Wait a minute, Krys,
you've been part of this family for 20 years.
- Babe, do you want more?
- What are you trying to do, fatten her up?
- Well, actually.
- [Laurie] No, no (gasps).
- I am officially eating for two now.
- Oh, my gosh, really?
Oh.
- [Clinton] Congratulations.
- [Kevin] Thank you very much.
- [Laurie] (laughing) Oh, my God.
- [Corinne] You are going to be a grandma.
- Oh, no, I am going to be a nana.
Oh, congratulations, Kevin.
- [Kevin] Thank you.
- Oh, I guess all that dancing paid off, huh?
- [Kevin] Ah, it did.
- Oh, my gosh, why am I still eating?
- I really like him, mom.
- [Krystal] Me, too.
- Oh, he is such a sweetheart.
- So, um, things must be going really well
for you to bring him to Thanksgiving.
Where's his family?
- Oh, they were traveling for Thanksgiving,
so I brought him here.
- He does have some pretty good dance moves, though.
- Are you listening to us?
- [Jared] And now talking.
- [Laurie] Oh, my gosh (laughs).
- [Jared] I'm part of it.
- [Corinne] Jared's all up in the lady business.
- I'm telling you. - Mm-hmm, girl pow-ow.
- [Laurie] In our Kool-Aid, don't even know the flavor.
- [Little Girl] My mom never knew her mother,
but she was always loved.
- [Laurie] Krys, why don't you go sit down and take a nap
like the rest of the kids.
- [Krystal] Oh, no thank you, I think I'd rather help.
- [Laurie] Where's Corinne?
- [Krystal] She went upstairs to take a nap.
- [Laurie] Oh, good, she's gonna need all the rest she can.
- [Krystal] Yep, I guess it's the beginning
of the end for her.
- Krys, Corinne told me what happened, I'm really sorry.
- I know hearing this doesn't make anything any better.
It probably just annoys you, but it's all gonna work out.
There is a much better plan for your life
than you may have originally thought of.
- Thanks.
- Did you know that, when I was younger,
I wanted to have as many kids as I could,
four at the very least.
I wanted a big family.
- Really, but you just had one.
- Yeah, her father and I both wanted a big family,
and so we started very young.
I got pregnant with Corinne,
and the pregnancy was wonderful,
but the delivery, er, wasn't so great.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- There was a lot of complications.
For a while there, we thought we were gonna lose her.
- Does she know that?
- Oh, yeah, I told her, she's gonna need to know.
- Was there something wrong with her?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, she was perfect.
But when, when they got her out,
I started to lose a lot of blood,
and the complications were with me.
I almost didn't make it.
- I had no idea, that's so scary.
- Ooh.
I think it was scariest for my husband.
- Why?
- Because he had to make a quick medical decision for me
that day, and that decision resulted in my not being able
to have any more children.
(somber music)
- He knew you wanted more kids, right?
- Yeah, he knew, but he also knew that our little girl
needed a mother, why then risk it?
I was mad for a long time.
- Yeah, I would have been very mad, too.
- Well, I wasn't mad at him.
I was just mad.
I didn't understand why that had to happen to me.
I had a plan and it ruined my plan.
I was just mad.
- Yeah.
- It wasn't, it wasn't the plan I had for my life.
It also wasn't my plan to have my husband gone so soon,
but it happened.
And if I had had more kids,
I would've been raising them on my own.
One was hard enough, and I don't think
I could have handled any more.
- You would have been fine, you're a great mom.
- Well, thank you, sweetie, but that's not the point.
The point is, it wasn't my plan, but it all worked out
the way it needed to.
I know that you are hurting right now,
and I know you are mad, but don't let that ruin your life
or stop you from starting all over again.
- I'm trying.
- Well, the easiest way to do that,
now you listen to mama.
Easiest way to do that is to take little steps.
You make one decision at a time.
- [Krystal] I can try that.
- Give me some love.
You want some ice cream?
- [Krystal] I would love some ice cream.
- [Laurie] Don't tell Corinne.
- [Krystal] Good decision.
- [Laurie] Ok, get her best dish.
- Okay. - Alrighty.
- [Little Girl] My mom always said
that some families are different than others.
They don't always look the same,
but that doesn't mean they aren't a family.
(somber music)
- Krystal Parker?
- [Krystal] Yes.
- Oh, thanks.
Come on in.
- [Krystal] Oh, okay, am I late?
- No, no, once everyone's babysitters show up,
they all just show up here early to gab.
New girl brought booze.
(upbeat music) (women chattering)
- I love it so much.
Hi, are you new?
Oh, my gosh, come on in. - Uh, yeah.
Okay.
- I really like new people.
Hi, I'm Liz.
- Krystal.
I love making new friends, I can introduce you to everyone,
So over here we've got Jessica and Kim and Charlene,
and we've got appetizers, and this is Grace, oh!
- Here you go, that'll help you fit in.
Just want to grab a seat, come on.
(upbeat music) (guests chattering)
Ladies
(mumbling)
oh, sorry, I always do that
Girls, this is Krystal, she's a friend of a friend
and she's new to town, so she's joining our book club.
- Actually, I'm from here, I just,
I'm coming back after a long time.
Thanks for having me.
- Here, have a seat.
I can give you the skinny on the whole group.
- Or you could come have a seat over here
so that you can avoid Jessica, my personal recommendation.
- She's just made because we both brought banana bread,
and everyone likes mine better.
- It's not a contest, Jessica.
- [Jessica] Yep, no contest.
but when we're dealing with someone's intellectual property,
like we are--
- Honestly, most weeks, not everyone has read the book.
- [Liz] Out of respect for the author.
- So we all bring a dish to share
that goes with the theme of the book.
It gets to be a challenge and we have to get creative.
- Check out the shape of the banana bread
before you cut off a slice.
- Okay.
Who's Cliff Fong?
- I am.
- [Corinne] Can you unbutton the top button?
- [Krystal] No, this is good.
- No. - Yeah.
- Unbutton. - Yes.
- Unbutton.
No. - Yep.
- [Corinne] No, unbutton it, unbutton the top.
- [Krystal] No, interviewer chic.
- You're not going on a job interview.
You're going on a date.
- No, we are just hanging out.
- [Corinne] Hmm.
- Remember, technically, I am still married.
- And my only other friend in town is throwing up all day.
- My morning sickness seems to not understand
when morning is, so it just comes all the time.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
But you don't have to sister-sit me anymore,
'cause I made another friend.
- Mm-hmm, oh, I'm not complaining.
I'm already planning the wedding.
Then you'll be my sister-in-law.
- The baby's making you crazy.
When you do find out if it is a boy or a girl?
- Few weeks, the day after Christmas.
Then you'll finally know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
- Oh, that's not how it works.
No.
- (laughing) That's not what I meant.
Pregnancy brain is totally real.
- From what I understand,
I think it only gets worse from here.
- That's why you can't leave me.
- I'm not gonna leave you.
I'm here forever, I promise.
(doorbell rings) Except for right now,
'cause I gotta go.
Are you staying here?
- [Corinne] Yeah, just for a little bit.
- Okay.
- [Corinne] (sighs) Just watch the rest of--
- [Krystal] Take a nap, love you, bye.
- Thank you. - Bye.
- Bye, sis (laughs).
Just you and me.
- Up and over, aw, up, neck, neck
and over, oh, neck, how, how do I get out of--
- [Jared] Keep going to the right.
- (yells) Oh, look, there's a Skittle.
- That is really cute.
- Quit flirting and focus on what you're doing, bro.
- Yeah, man, you're embarrassing yourself
in front of your lady friend.
- You guys are right, I should be ashamed of myself.
I'm glad I have you guys.
- Go right. - Go right.
- Yes. - Go up, up, up.
- [Jared] You guys are making me lose.
- [Kid with Red Hoodie] At least you have a lady friend.
- [Shawn] Hey.
- [Jared] Hey, what's up, man?
It's good to see ya.
How you doing?
- Good, good, I actually brought my checkbook today
so I can sponsor the kid for another year.
- [Jared] Man, that is awesome.
That is so cool. - Yeah.
- Oh, uh, I don't know who this is, but this is Krystal.
Krystal, this is Shawn, Shawn owns the place.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
- Oh, I love it, it's great.
- Thank you, you have, uh, in the top left there,
you gotta shoot that--
- Yes, I know. - Okay.
She knows that (laughs).
Okay, if you want to find some pizza later,
I'll be in the back.
I want to hear all about your Africa trip, okay?
- Awesome, yeah, I'll come over in a few.
Alright, bye man
- Bye, Krystal. - Bye.
Um, I'm a little unclear about what it is you do.
- I work part time for this thing called Restore Humanity,
so I go over to Kenya, right, and we sort of--
- Oh, oh, oh, not the hostage.
She's dead, good job.
I'm sorry, you work part time?
- Quit your yapping.
- Shh.
- No!
He's amazing. - He's a killer.
- Yeah. - You're a killer.
- Thanks. - Yeah, he's good.
- You're welcome.
Can I have my spot back?
- [Krystal] I don't know.
- [Jared] Yeah, get up there.
- [Krystal] Mm-hmm.
- So how's it going in Corinne's store?
- It's great, yeah.
Uh, she's not very pregnant now, but at some point,
she's gonna have to take some time off.
- So you gonna take over?
- More like fill in, more, working under Tess.
It'll be fun.
- Working up the corporate ladder.
- (gasps) Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Hey, Jared.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, get it (yelling).
Okay, um, yeah, but I'm probably gonna be going
up the corporate ladder a little sooner, actually.
- What do you mean?
- I mean, I love Corinne's shop, it's great stuff.
It's not quite my style, so I'm probably gonna,
thinking about, opening up my own store.
- Hmm, so you're just getting in there,
you're learning all the inside secrets,
and then you're just gonna split, huh?
That's real bold.
- (laughs) More like sister stores, like sister cities?
- Yeah, and then we can refer people to each other's store.
- Corner the market.
- We actually planned on doing it straight out of college,
but I met Andrew, and, um, life changed, so, um,
I've got some good connections, so it'll be fun stuff.
- Well, cool.
- What are you gonna do, what?
- You gotta hit the egg, get the ostrich egg.
- Thank you for taking me here.
It was nice to get out of the house.
- Yeah.
Well, thank you for coming with me.
- So tell me more about what it is you do, exactly.
- Uh, as of late, I'm going to the same two or three places.
- Okay. - Check this out.
- This is the place in Kenya?
- Yes, here, I'll show you.
This is Restore Humanity, which is in Kenya.
- Okay. - That's their symbol.
This one is the symbol for NWA Women's Shelter.
- [Krystal] Oh.
- [Jared] Okay, and this one's really obvious.
This is Potter's House, in New Orleans.
- Oh, yeah, totally makes sense.
- Yeah.
- I don't know why I just didn't get that from this.
- Yeah, you just didn't, yeah, you should just know.
- Yeah, and read it, mm-hmm, clear.
- Yeah, I volunteered there a few times, and, uh,
you know, they all called me to ask me back
for a month or two here, a month or two there.
Sort of fits with my life.
I mean, not everybody can take like a month off work, right?
When I first volunteered, I'd just graduated,
I had no job, no girlfriend.
Now I really enjoy going back, you know?
Sort of like my second family.
- And what is it you do there?
- Well, in New Orleans, I work with an at-risk youth center.
It's run out of this church,
and so I tutor math and English, and play sports,
and actually, want to see what we really do
most of the time?
Where is it?
That's a good one.
- Oh, yeah, Jared, you owe me 20 bucks!
- Me too, me too!
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
- Take that, Jared.
- So I'm out a lot of money.
- [Krystal] Uh, great tutoring session.
- Yeah, thank you, there's a lot of math in basketball.
- [Krystal] Oh, sure.
back and forth, I bet all the girls that they couldn't dunk,
and then they robbed me blind.
But they're really, really good kids.
And it's always hard to leave, but it's good, though.
- That's how I felt leaving here.
I don't think Corinne ever really forgave me, though.
- That's weird, 'cause I don't think they care at all,
when I go, at all.
- Hey, is it safe to join?
- [Jared] Yeah.
- She's not playing a game right now, or--
- Nope. - Perfectly safe.
- Well, I am done with my shift and, although I am
a little afraid to ask, I was wondering
if the two of you wanted to play a game?
- Yeah. - Yeah,
I could play some more games. - Mm-hmm.
- But I don't think we could play, like, what was that?
Galaga or something?
- Oh, yeah, right.
- I guess something happened there, surprised, like,
somebody vandalized it. - Yeah.
- There's missing pieces and whatever.
- I saw that.
- Yeah, completely unrelated note,
I got you this really cool vintage joystick thingie.
It's in mint condition, it's super rad.
- Wow, this is for me? - Mm-hmm.
- You got this for me?
- I did. - This is so great.
This is so thoughtful.
- It is, isn't it?
- I can't believe this, it looks like it might fit
right into a Galaga machine.
- It could. - What?
- Oh, what a weird coincidence if it did, right?
- It does.
- So I can fix my machine now.
- Yeah. - That's amazing.
- Wow. - Yeah.
- Keeper. - Yeah.
- I'm gonna get to work, and please don't She-Hulk out
on the rest of my machines.
- (laughs) I shouldn't tell him about the other one.
- Yeah, don't tell him about the pinball machine.
- [Little Girl] Mom says that the seas had started to settle down
and be less wavy.
- [Kevin] It's just like going to the mall.
- That's what I think of it as.
- Okay, it's a person, that's a ninja.
A person with another head on the side of their body.
A Siamese twin, Siamese twin!
That is a, - Five seconds.
- Five seconds, that is a, a, a gut,
a beer gut, a beer belly.
Fat, a fat person with diabetes.
- Okay, are you calling me fat?
- [Krystal] Time's up.
- Pregnant, pregnant. - Oh.
- Girl, Corinne, is pregnant.
- [Jared] You're right.
- What is wrong with you?
- This is why we're winning.
- Alright, everyone ready?
- Yeah. - Yes.
- Okay, one, two, three.
- [All] Merry Christmas, Jared!
- Merry Christmas, sorry you're not here to enjoy
this delicious vegetarian feast.
Everyone's a vegetarian now, you missed it.
But I'm sure you're having a fun time with those kiddos.
Say hi for us.
- She misses you. - Merry Christmas.
- Your baby.
- Okay, alright.
- Krystal!
(peaceful music)
(fireworks popping)
(peaceful music)
(upbeat music)
- [Jared] Hey.
- [Krystal] Hi.
- [Jared] Hi.
- [Krystal] Welcome back.
- [Jared] Thank you.
- [Krystal] How are the kids?
- They're great, they, uh, made something for you.
- Oh, that's sweet, and I love them.
(gasps) Look at that.
- [Jared] Yeah.
They just kept asking me when you're gonna come out.
- Soon, I hope.
- Cool.
- Yeah, I'm gonna need to get a bunch of these,
'cause they're gonna sell like hotcakes.
- Oh, hotcakes are really good.
Yeah, let's get some hotcakes, and we can sit and talk
about this child labor thing you're proposing.
- I don't think you're gonna like some of my ideas.
- I don't like them already, but we can talk about 'em.
- (laughs) I have so much to tell you about that.
- [Jared] Oh, good, I'm glad.
They will definitely all work for free.
- [Krystal] I will impress you (laughs).
(pen scratching)
Get it?
- [Jared] In a second.
- [Krystal] Ready, tell me when.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, oh, no, no,
I was doing-- - I thought you said okay.
- No, no, no, okay like I was almost ready.
- Oh.
- I was getting, oh, we got more ribbon?
Okay, good.
- Ready?
My own store, yay!
Yay! - Yeah!
- [Krystal] You got it?
- [Jared] Yep.
Perfect.
(upbeat music)
- Finally, we get to start a new book.
- I picked After the Fall by Kate Hart.
I know the title makes it sound like it's a romance novel,
but it isn't.
My sister-in-law's book club loved it.
- Alright, sounds good.
So let's say, then, by next week,
like, the first three chapters?
Okay, well, the first page?
Alright, okay, book business out of the way.
So, Kim, how's little Taylor doing?
- He's okay, had a tough few nights, had an ear infection.
Poor little guy.
hoping that interview number four's gonna be the lucky one.
- Just taking time for those things.
- Something extra, so I thought I'd throw it out there.
If you hear of anything I can do in my pajamas,
preferably with a glass of wine.
Krystal, how are things with you?
- Uh, things are good.
My best friend's pregnant.
(guests gasping and murmuring)
- That's so exciting.
- [Woman] When's she due?
- Any day now, actually.
- [Woman] Is she all ready, bags packed and ready to go?
- She is very ready, but no bags packed,
that's one of the perks of a home birth.
- Wow. - A home birth?
Well good for them.
- Yeah.
- So, like, all natural, no epidural? (groans)
- [Daniella] So be a good friend, give her this.
Wait, that's mine.
(upbeat music)
- [Jared] Whoa, sweet, an indoor pool, I love it.
- [Corinne] It's a birthing pool, Jared.
- Ew.
Wait, are you in labor?
- Yes. - Yes.
- Oh.
So you're cleaning up,
that's so disgusting.
- [Corinne] Just get in or out.
- I'm gonna stay out, I'll see you guys later.
I'm just kidding.
- [Midwife] When you feel it, let it go.
(Corinne gasping)
(midwife murmuring) (somber music)
(Corinne groaning) (midwife murmuring)
How are we doing?
(women chattering excitedly)
(Corinne crying) (Krystal and midwife cheering)
Oh, honey, you did so good!
You did good, it's okay.
(women laughing)
You did so good. - Beautiful job.
(baby crying)
(upbeat music)
- [Little Girl] Mom had finally felt very safe where she was,
but my mom says that the seas can be very unpredictable.
- Hi, Kryssie.
(somber music)
(light jazzy music)
Uh, I can't get over it, you look great, Kryssie,
I like the short hair.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Hi.
- Can I get you a glass of wine, sir?
- Oh, uh, no, I'm fine with water.
Can I get a lemon?
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
The shop looks great.
I mean, I am really excited for you.
How is the van holding up?
Is it, uh--
problems? - What do you want, Drew?
Why are you here? - Oh.
Oh, uh, I looked up fine dining,
and this looked like the nicest restaurant in town.
- Why are you in Arkansas?
- I came to see you.
- I haven't heard from you in almost a year.
- Yeah, uh.
I feel bad about how we left things before.
- How we left things?
You mean how you packed up your bags and left,
is that what you mean?
- Yes.
Yes, I handled that very poorly.
- Poorly doesn't even begin to describe how you handled it.
- Hey, I'm sorry, it was a tough time for me, too.
- Stop, what do you want?
(Andrew sighing)
What's this?
Divorce papers.
You flew all the way here
to deliver me divorce papers in person.
- Yes, I thought it would be easier if we could do this
in person and we could, you know--
- What happened to you?
I used to look up to you, I used to think
you were the most loving, sweet man.
I was so wrong.
- Look, listen, Kryssie.
- I kind of need this taken care of ASAP.
- [Ashley] Hey babe.
(Andrew sighs)
Sorry, I'm sorry, can I have the keys to the car?
I left my purse in there.
- Um, Ashley, this is Kryssie, Krystal.
Krystal, this is my, hmm, this is Ashley.
Ashley is my fiancee.
- [Ashley] It is so nice to meet you.
- Give me a pen.
- [Ashley] I'm sorry, what?
- Give me a pen.
- Um, um, um, yes, uh, alright,
I'm sure you'll find it very generous.
You won't need to worry about the finances--
- I don't care what it says, I, you can have whatever,
I, I will sign away anything, just get out of my life.
(Andrew murmuring) Stop talking!
- Just sign the (muttering).
This isn't how I wanted this to go, you know.
- Please just get out of my life.
Excuse me.
- What was that about?
- You had to have your purse?
- I needed my purse.
- It was an emergency, and I said I'm sorry.
I needed my purse.
- Okay.
- What?
Why are you so stressed?
Let's get something to eat.
- I think we gotta go.
- Okay.
(somber music)
(people chattering)
- [Child] Mommy.
- Oh, hi.
- [Mother] Sorry about that.
Come here, Trey.
- [Krystal] Hey, no need to call me back.
I'm fine, really.
I'm very happy to have you in my life.
A year ago, I couldn't imagine ever being this happy.
Meeting with Andrew went okay.
I've moved on.
I'll see you soon.
- I really think it's, uh, it's a balance, you know,
getting the business in here and then just letting the room
breathe and be its own domain.
- It just feels so different in here.
It feels like it's its own realm.
- Yeah, it's my time machine.
(laughs) It's a great responsibility, though.
- Oh, yeah, magic can be a burden.
Is it lonely?
- (sighs) No, I mean, it can be, sure.
You know, going out on your own, starting your own business,
carving your own path, yeah, it can get lonely.
But it is so worth it, it's so worth it.
He misses you too, by the way.
He mentioned something this morning
about how even these quick weekends are tough.
- I don't want to care this much, but I do.
I wanted my life up and running
before I thought about anything like love.
- Too bad that's not how love works.
Or timing, for that matter.
And I would know.
I run a time machine, after all.
- So you never got a divorce?
- No, uh, when I packed up and left,
I just assumed that he would contact me.
I don't know why I thought that,
but I guess he eventually did.
- [Liz] I can't believe that he left you
because you couldn't have kids.
- Did you know that I can't have kids?
- No, I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
I have three wonderful foster children I can't even imagine
my life without, so you just never know
what life has in store for you.
- I know, I'm gonna eventually have options like that,
it's just, I'm still struggling with the,
I'm still struggling, I don't know
if someone's gonna love me if I just can't give 'em kids.
For some reason.
- Well, we just have to work on that.
Hey, it's a great topic for our next book club,
since we don't read the book anyway.
- [Liz] I read the book.
- [Daniella] No you don't.
(women laughing)
- [Jared and Krystal] Merry Christmas.
- Hi, how's the baby, oh, okay, wow.
How's the baby's first Christmas?
- Oh, she's loving it.
She's peeing and pooping and sleeping like crazy.
- Just like her Uncle Jared.
- And she is absolutely adorable.
- Just like her Uncle Jared.
- [Corinne] What you got there?
- Nog creams from Andy for my lady.
- [Corinne] Oh, you are my hero.
And what do you got there?
We got gifts of diapers, some produce, some almond milk,
lunch meats, eggs, mashed potatoes.
- Did you bring everything from your fridge
that would go bad while you were in Louisiana?
- [Jared] Why, yes I did, my lady.
- Sweet, thanks, bro.
- And you leave tonight?
- Well, I would've left last week if it wasn't for this one.
- [Jared] I thought you were sticking around
for the baby's first Christmas.
- Oh, that would've been so nice if I did that.
Unfortunately, the baby has no idea what's going on.
Krys, on the other hand, is fully aware of what's going on.
- [Kevin] Yeah, you could've left last week.
- Yeah.
- I can hear you.
(Kevin laughing)
- [Corinne] And how long you gone this time?
- Two months.
- Yeah, I mean, it's a lot, lot less time
than I usually go for, and I did invite you to come.
- Yes, and I have a lot of stuff to do at the shop,
and I have to help at Corinne's shop now.
- Oh, do not use me as an excuse.
- I have a lot of work to do, and I can maybe go next time.
- Okay, okay, can't blame a guy for trying.
We were a lovely combination
So safe, I thought no one
- [Krystal] Promise me you'll be safe?
- I promise.
- And that you'll come back to me?
- You'll have a hard time getting rid of me.
- No, I mean it, you have to come back.
- Yeah, I'll be back.
Actually looking forward to it this time.
- Oh, I have something for you.
Um, light reading for the plane.
Oh, don't spoil it, it's fine.
- I don't know what to say.
Alright, I'll text you when I land.
- [Krystal] Okay.
- Okay? - Fine.
- Oh, I almost forgot.
Live without love
Waiting on a moment
- See you soon.
Is this the hallmark of our love
(airplane intercom dings)
(somber music)
(water gurgling)
(somber music)
(gasps) (phone ringing)
- Hello?
- [Plumber] Yeah, your pipe burst,
and there's water everywhere, there's a lot of damage.
Uh, it's gonna take a while to clean this up,
a week, maybe two.
- [Krystal] I don't understand.
(somber music)
(upbeat music)
Woke up this morning
- So Tess is available to you Tuesdays and Wednesdays,
and I'll see if there's anyone else
who's willing to pitch in part time
to help you get things back on track.
But I vote that you go and visit Jared.
Have an adventure, be spontaneous.
- Okay, last minute tickets to New Orleans
are super-cheap around the holidays,
and my bank account will probably increase
since the flood happened.
- So, in case you forgot, New Orleans is really close
and you can just drive.
- Mm. - Mm.
But seriously, go visit him.
And it would be good for you to see what he does down there.
And aren't you getting money from the divorce?
What better way to spend Andrew's money
than to visit the man who knows how to treat you?
- What's the weather like down there this time of year?
Oh, this feeling
First time around
Oh, this feeling
(somber music)
- [Jared] Maybe I do want dogs one day.
You know, I'm not sure exactly
when that's gonna happen, but.
- [Krystal] I grew up with dogs, I love dogs.
I can see getting dogs again someday.
I'll have them learn how to fold my laundry and make my bed.
- I'm not sure you know what a dog is capable of.
- I'm pretty sure I do.
My dad used to tell this joke that this couple
went out to dinner at a friend's house, like a dinner party.
And the husband said to the host, I think my plate's dirty.
And the host said, well,
it's as clean as soap and water will get it.
So then the wife of the couple said,
I think that my silverware's dirty, too.
And the host said, a little bit more sternly,
it's as clean as soap and water will get it.
And so they were embarrassed and just ate anything anyway,
to make it up to them, so they offered to help clean up
at the end of the meal and said,
we'd love to do the dishes for you.
And the host said, you don't need to worry about that,
here Soap, here Water (whistles), and two big dogs came in
and licked all the plates and silverware clean.
It's funny (laughs), maybe you didn't get it.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
- So there's this girl at the center I want you to meet.
Her name is Destinee, not Destiny, do not make that mistake.
- Okay, French, Destinee?
- I think, I dunno, a French name.
Yeah, I think I actually showed you a video of her.
She was one of the girls who could dunk.
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.
So she's nearing the end of an unplanned pregnancy,
and she's been talking to me a lot
about finding a nice family to adopt the little girl
who's due in two weeks.
And so I started talking to her
about whether she'd consider someone like you.
And she said that she'd love to meet you later on today.
I know this is a lot, okay, but hear me out,
this is what I'm thinking--
- Yeah, I, I would love to meet her.
I would love to meet Destinee.
- Good, well, she's awesome.
I mean, she's got a huge sense of humor
and a really bright future.
Anyway, there's this in-house social worker,
and she's gonna help her get started on the legal process,
and it'll all be done before the baby comes.
- Would they let me adopt by myself?
- Well, is that what you want, to be a single parent?
- Of course, I could handle that (laughs),
but if there was a second option,
I would be very interested.
- Well, I don't want to scare you with too much too quickly.
- I'm not scared.
I want to start my life and I want you in it.
- I'm glad you said that,
'cause you are gonna have a hard time getting rid of me.
- [Little Girl] My mom and dad met me when I was two days old.
They said they loved me with their whole hearts, instantly.
My birth mom had named me Jeter L'ancre
to honor our Creole side of the family
that had been fishermen in New Orleans for generations.
My mom and dad came to find out that it meant anchor,
and knew that I was meant to be their daughter.
My mom and dad were on very different journeys
that were always destined to meet at my birth,
but the course that they took was important,
because they were able to gather our whole family
along the way, so that's why my family is unique.
We were placed all over the world
and had to find each other.
Dad says life is a great adventure if you let go of plans
and let the wind take you.
- [Krystal] Hi.
- Is it okay if I put this back in her mouth?
- Say hi, I'm Jeter L'ancre.
I like to play basketball.
I'm really smart, math is my favorite subject,
and I'm gonna be an astronaut.
Yeah, she's gonna be an astronaut.
We'll talk about it later.
(Krystal laughs)
(somber music)