Pelisky (1999) Movie Script
1
WINTER 1967
in-between times
It was Christmas 1967.
I was about to turn sixteen.
I was hopelessly in love
and I wanted to die.
Come on Boris.
The girls are cold.
- This way. This is great.
- Open it.
- Tamara!
- Wait a minute.
- Take care.
- Thank you very much.
- All the best.
- Thank you.
- This is for you.
- Come on Boris, hurry up.
- Thank you Boris.
- Come on, let's go...
I give the Bolsheviks one year.
Two at the most.
Hello.
- What're you doing?
- Merry Christmas.
Are you nuts?
How can you be so cruel?
How can you be so cold?
COSY DENS
I bought here guitar because
of you
And spent each cent of
daddy's heard earned pay
And thought the work to make it
wasn't through
I already knew the song
I'd like to play
Story by
Executive Producer
Director of Photography
Written by
Directed by
Menu: Monday-breakfast:
tea, bread and butter.
Bro...
Bro...
Mom, my brother's dead!
Mom, he's not moving. It's true,
Dad. Mom, he's dead...
You idiot!
- You have nothing to do today?
- I got you again.
You won't be pissing me off
for long, you bastard.
Speaking. I read you.
Roger. Give me extension 205.
Put it on.
It's major ebek speaking,
get the menu ready!
What menu? I didn't say that.
- You said it.
- You made a mistake.
Okay, I made a mistake. I'm
preparing a menu for the kids...
Get the reports ready.
Over and out.
- What's for lunch today?
- Stop screaming and go read it.
Are we having
tomato sauce again?
- What do you see?
- Chicken.
So you see.
This is ridiculous.
His family destroys
an architectural work
and replaces it with a tank!
Do five more for me.
One... two... three...
Five...
- Jindra!
- Six...!
Seven... I said ten!
- You said five.
- I said five but I meant ten.
Come on, slowly.
Do you know that one man had the
hiccups for 13 straight years?
Come on, girls...
Hello!
- Hi, aunt.
- At school call me teacher.
Comrade teacher.
Tell your parents we'll come
visit the day after tomorrow.
- What time should I come?
- Come at three.
Will you be
alone for Christmas?
Not really. I have
a projector and a piano.
- Otherwise it sucks here.
- Thanks for the compliment.
You have a package from America.
- It's from your parents, huh?
- Yeah.
They're awesome.
Nice boots.
They'd look good on my mom.
You're full of shit.
Look at your shoes.
Come on in!
Do you have a ticket?
- Elien looks like Jean Marais.
- I hope this one'll be better.
It's so cool
that they show this.
Did you know
Jean Marais likes boys?
- Really?
- He's kidding.
You mentioned the resemblance...
- You mean Elien is...
- A fagot... gay...
Quiet!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- So I look like Jean Marais?
- Jiina said that.
I told you not to bike on ice,
but you didn't listen.
They were kissing, kissing
for so damn long!
Why are you running
in the house.
Didn't I tell you to get
a haircut for Christmas?
- It's like Aesop's hair.
- Esau's dad.
Him too.
Go and vacuum!
Don't just hang around!
Let me help you.
- Why isn't aunt Eva coming?
- She'll come on Christmas Day.
- She has a visitor today.
- Comrade teacher?
Damn, I hope it fits now...
Yes, comrade teacher.
Love is fatal disease
Each has his own
heart's ease
Listen to how I myself
found release
Merry Christmas!
One moment, please.
- Pt'a, hurry up.
- It's occupied.
For how long?
A while.
It's free.
- What stinks in here?
- The heather. Just my luck.
Jesus Christ was born,
let us be merry
the bud bloomed into a rose,
let us enjoy it.
Of pure life, of royal family
he was born for us...
He was born for us...
She's smiling. See?
She's smiling!
And if they splashed boiling
oil in my face she'd be what?
She'd be smiling!
And it's actually so simple.
It was supposed to be a C minor
but what did we hear instead?
The butcher smiles in spite
of her sub-normal intelligence
and hangs out with a local freak
right under her father's eyes.
You could beat her to death,
and still she'd play...
And it's actually so simple.
Jesus Christ was born...
He was born for us!
- I don't have an ear for music!
- My own blood doesn't hear it?
Your mother
and I have perfect pitch!
You do it on purpose!
Play it again!
- Are you feeling better today?
- Yes. Don't worry. It's okay.
- It's better today.
- I think I said something!
Saboteurs.
- We bring you news...
- Mom.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
- Ba.
- Oh please, give it to me.
Come on, young man.
- Sing a carol for us.
- Jesus Christ was born...
Shut up. Can't you at least stop
these political provocations
at Christmas.
- No betting today, guys.
- Vclav! Grandma!
My beloved sister in law.
- Where's your sister?
- She'll come tomorrow.
- She has a serious date tonight.
- Thank God she has a man!
- A biology teacher!
- A biology teacher!
- You are absolutely radiant.
- Really? I feel completely...
Come have a look.
For God sake, take it out.
Wait, calm down!
I'll take it out.
You always get me!
What a Christmas...
Wait. Take your shoes off here!
We have a new carpet.
- It's Christmas Eve.
- Shut up. Take your shoes off.
- Did you get these at work?
- No way. They're brand new.
You see brother.
He's a biology teacher.
He will explain that four
meter tall bear to you.
I'm just saying what the TV said.
A kodiak bear is 3.7 meters tall.
- Will you have a shot?
- Sure.
Three meters seventy...
Three meters seventy.
That's like an African elephant!
- So what?
- Boys, please...
You can't believe
everything they say on TV.
I just said that they said
it rises on its hind legs
and measures three meters
seventy. Maybe more!
Don't believe the hype.
I'm one meter eighty five.
- I'm one eighty three. So what?
- Get on my back.
- Stop it.
- Try to touch the ceiling.
Try it and when you touch it,
we will see how big
your kodiak bear is.
Watch out. The kodiak is coming.
I'll climb up. Hold on to this.
Okay. Be careful. Wait...
Now I have to get on you
somehow.
You gotta get on
your back legs...
You're the back legs,
I'm raising my front paws.
Stand still. Be careful.
I'm going up.
- Come on, idiot.
- Jesus.
Make a mark there.
How am I supposed
to make a mark?
- Use your claw.
- He's nuts. Jesus...
Uzlinka, hand me a fork.
- Growl dad.
- What did you say?
- Growl.
- I'll show you once I get down.
Hand it to me carefully
so you don't get hurt.
- I got it. I'll make a mark.
- Didn't you already have enough?
- Quit staring and measure it.
- And the magic word?
- Excuse me?
- The magic word!
I'll kill you, you bastard.
Hold on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What's up?
- Elien is sorry.
Every year's the same.
- He admitted he went too far.
- It's okay.
He's sending you this
to make up for it.
Thanks.
Jindika!
We haven't poured the lead yet!
- Lead's dead.
- We're measuring a bear.
- See you.
- Merry Christmas.
Damn women! Don't touch me!
Am I at the sink yet?
What can you see, Jindich?
I give the Bolsheviks one year.
Two at the most.
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Don't you think it's magic?
- I do.
Look.
I love glass.
I always wanted a paperweight.
- It's not just a paperweight.
- What is it then?
A kodiak bear...
I heard one man had the hiccups
for 13 straight years.
Can't you hold your breath
for a little while?
As a boy I could stay under
water for a minute and a half.
Under water. You can't breathe
through the skin and pores.
- Stop it!
- It's a piece of cake.
Pt'a said that pearl divers can
stay under water for 15 minutes.
Come on, that's impossible.
- Why not?
- Fifteen minutes?
- Sure.
- You can't even last a minute.
Why couldn't I last a minute?
- Come on, boys.
- Well? Let's try it.
From now on I won't argue,
I'll bet.
- One crown for every second.
- Okay.
Anything under a minute is yours,
anything over is mine. Deal?
Let's go.
- Three, two, one...
- You have to follow me.
- Okay, you say it.
- Ready, steady, go!
- Finished?
- Not yet.
Not at all. Hold your nose!
Plug your nostrils.
Okay, I'll plug my nose.
It's not such a big deal.
Ready, steady, go!
He's breathing.
I can hear him breathe.
He's breathing.
I can see it. I can hear it. I'm
not timing you. You can breathe.
I'm finished. It's off.
I'm not timing you.
He's getting red.
Come on, brother. A blood vessel
in your brain might burst.
You're not young anymore.
You'll crumple like a leaf.
He's a dumb ass.
- He'd be willing to kill himself.
- How long did he last?
- No good. He isn't under water.
- What do you mean?
- It's like biking down a hill.
- What do you mean?
- You don't need to peddle!
- Do you peddle under water?
- What's under the tree?
- I wished for a crossbow.
Oh no, a crossbow?
Let's go to the bathroom!
Excuse me, little girl.
Boys!
Excuse me, bigger girl.
You see. He isn't breathing.
One minute one second.
I owe you a crown!
That was incredible, man!
You're an amphibian!
What did you make for dinner?
The carp is still in the tub!
I bought one already sliced
two days ago.
You mean you can kill the carp?
Your dad isn't around anymore.
You can't, huh?
Let's remember those who can't
be at our Christmas table.
Let's sit in silence and pray
for those who died in the war
and for my tortured friends
from the resistance movement.
Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those
Who trespass against us...
Amen.
Amen.
Enjoy your meal.
Merry Christmas!
Uzlinka!
A crossbow!
- Who gave it to her?
- Santa Claus.
He still uses
the same wrapping paper.
I wonder what this is, mom.
- You know what it is.
- No, I don't.
Oh boy!
Genuine Stolichnaya vodka!
- Don't open it now!
- Is it from Uncle Boris?
The tree holder's from Uncle
Boris. He'll be back in summer.
I wonder what this is.
Thanks, dad.
Thanks, dad.
Pretty good, huh?
This is something
for mom from dad.
- Drinking glasses?
- Go ahead. Shake it.
We needed these badly!
Ours are already broken.
That's right.
Ours are already broken.
Did you notice anything
unusual about these glasses?
- They're light.
- This is...
This is not funny.
Just watch, you heckler!
What happens when you drop
an ordinary glass on the floor?
- It breaks.
- Exactly. It breaks.
An ordinary glass will break.
That's how it used to be.
But then a couple of smart guys
got together...
Stop grinning!
It's no coincidence that
they all came from Poland.
- Socialist Poland!
- I see.
Madam Curie-Sklodowska, or
Glass-ska came from Poland.
Well...
- It's unbreakable glass.
- What do you mean?
It's a miracle.
Can I try it?
Lda!
- How hard can I smash it?
- Go all the way, girl!
The glassmakers
won't have anything to eat.
Granny...
It means we're one step
ahead of them!
- How did you like the test?
- It wasn't hard enough.
You think so?
Okay then. Go ahead, big man!
Who do you think you're helping?
The other side?
Did you notice the weird shards?
They're round like flowers,
and don't cut you!
Really. I've never seen
anything like that.
This is strange. It's four of us
at the table all year around,
and we've got five of them.
It means one try
for everybody, right?
HOLD ON, PIONEER!
- What is it?
- It's a very interesting thing.
I bought it during
a fellowship in Kiev.
- Do you know Kiev?
- Yes, I do.
It's a beautiful city.
Everything is new.
That's where I got this thing
"Hold on, pioneer."
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
It's a toy that makes boys
like you over there stronger.
It hurts!
- Are you okay Pt'a?
- It just numbs you a bit.
The object and fun of the game
is to hold on. Turn it on!
Turn it on,
grit you teeth and hold on.
Why are you shaking so much?
Because electric power's
running inside me.
- So let go of it.
- I can't.
Electric power's running in me.
The boy has to turn it off.
- Turn it off, Pt'a.
- Turn it off for a minute.
Turn it off!!!
- Well...?
- I don't think it's a safe toy.
I'm a biology teacher, I know
what I can take. Come try it.
- I don't want to.
- Take it. It's fun.
- I just grab it. Turn it on.
- But not too much!
He can turn it all the way up,
it doesn't matter.
- It's not doing anything.
- It can't. We're not touching.
The bodies are touching...
Blooming in May...
- Exciting, huh?
- It hurts.
It's beautiful, Vilma!
I don't deserve such a thing.
But the gift that brings
the most happiness
is one made by a man himself.
That's right. It's for me?
Thank you, Jindich.
Jack of all trades, right?
Is it a dog?
- It's a camel!
- Where did you learn this?
At camp during the war.
I even made bread chess once.
- From white and black bread?
- No from soggy war rations!
You are looking
at the origins of life.
It began here and its apex is
our existence. It's a miracle!
I've got Gott's 45! Come on.
- Something really stinks here.
- Frankincense.
Come on, frankincense
can't smell that bad.
- Are you nuts?
- Screwing is for kids.
Men will drink! Right?
- Now something stinks here.
- Drop it, mother.
I'll show you something
you've never seen before.
For God Sake, Bohou...
Stop it!
Quiet! Do you know what
soldiers in a trench do
when they need to warm up...
- What?
- Does anybody know?
They... name... bullets...
individually...
- Name bullets individually?
- What?
You won't do that.
- Marshall Malinovsky!
- Brother.
- Dad!
- What?
You're the man!
Hands up!
I promote you to the position
of poster of bulletins.
- Let's have a drink.
- Later.
Let's light the frankincense.
Just for the smell...
- Is doing it on Christmas O.K.?
- Yes, it is.
You're my best present, Eva.
I'm going to unwrap you.
Raise your hands...
Bend forward...
Come on... sit down.
- I'll take your shoes off first.
- Wait. Give me that shoe!
Now the other shoe.
Shoes, beautiful legs...
Do you see it, Eva?
Do you like it?
Take it in your hands
and just feel the energy.
- I don't want it.
- Come on, take it.
I'm praying on my knees.
Feel the energy.
And now your earring
like icing on a cake.
- Isn't this exciting?
- I don't know. I feel sick.
- Mom...
- Yes!
Hurry! Turn the light off!
- Teacher, can I ask something?
- Yes.
- Does shit burn?
- Pt'a!
- What's he saying?
- Does shit burn?
Camel shit does,
for example. It's true.
It's true.
Do you know what time it is?
- What time is it?
- It's late.
We said we would always
choose dads together.
Go to bed or I'll take away
your microscope
and you'll get it back at
the end of the school year!
Don't look at me and go!
Good night. Be a good boy.
So I'm being interviewed
for the position of father.
I'm making a nice Christmas Eve
for the incomplete family.
I'm making fiction, some kind
of illusion for the boy,
a sixth-grader
who is going to judge me.
He will decide whether we can
spend a couple of hours in bed.
I came
with the offer of quality sex.
Bamboo chopping...
the milk & water position...
Long hours of homework all
in vain. All because of your...
- Good night.
- Come on, Saa.
- Don't force yourself.
- I'm not forcing myself.
Just be quiet and quick, please.
- Eva...
- Quickly.
- Are you sure you want it?
- I'm sure.
- You know, Eva...
- Ouch! -Sorry!
- It's okay.
- You make me infinitely happy.
That's good, Saa.
- I'll be quiet, don't worry.
- Quiet and quick.
Eva...
What is it?
Damn it! I've had enough of
this. This is pissing me off...
Mom!
I will...
Who's this ugly hippie here?
You mean Gagarin's brother?
I wanted to pass
the bulletin board on to you.
You bastard!
- How high is it, doctor?
- Higher than last time.
We've got to do something about
your blood pressure.
Two or three days
at our clinic would help.
I can't do that.
- Are you taking those pills?
- Sometime I forget.
You mustn't.
They're very important.
Let's have something stronger
before lunch, professor.
I have 12 year old, 60% plum
brandy from doctor Vacenovsk.
- Vilma, have a thimbleful.
- Mrs. Vilma can't drink.
- But professor...
- Her blood pressure is too high.
- I'll drink for mom.
- This isn't eggnog, young lady.
This is a man's drink! Do you
actually know how to drink this?
First, you raise the glass.
You can smell the pit.
You have to suck in...
The pain!
Are you trying to kill me,
you bastards? Get up!
You're dismissed! Both of you!
- Well?
- What?
How about that teacher of yours?
I don't know.
He's slimy, isn't he?
Yeah.
Pt'a doesn't like him either.
- Can we play that new record?
- You better not.
- Auntie...
- Of course you can. - Thanks!
Will Bohou mind?
Let's have someone else
yell here for a while.
I might put an ad in the paper.
- An ad?
- Pt'a needs a father.
Come on, Eva...
Walk without a hunched back
and it'll happen.
Thank you.
We always have pork with sauce
and dumplings on Christmas Day.
Right, Vilma? Professor
has always had seconds.
I like it very much.
- Can we begin? Bon Apptit.
- You too.
The sauce curdled a bit somehow.
It's not really perfect.
- No way. It's delicious.
- It's been better before.
A good housewife
is always unsatisfied.
That's true. It's delicious!
Aren't the dumplings
a bit mushy?
Gnocchi should have
a slightly mushy surface.
Did I hear you right?
Did you say gnocchi?
Yeah, mom's gnocchi.
Gnocchi have a slimy surface
and are light and fluffy inside.
Are you sure you didn't mean
mom's delicious dumplings?
I'm talking about
mom's delicious gnocchi.
You mean these true and only
Viennese potato dumplings?
How do you dare to call them...
- Gnocchi!
- Dumplings!
Let me explain the difference
between dumplings and gnocchi.
Dumplings are long cylindrical
shapes cooked in boiling water,
then cut into thin slices
after being taken out of water.
Therefore, dumpling slices
are slimy only on the edges.
On the other hand,
typical gnocchi
are made into little balls and
each piece is cooked separately.
Therefore, it's slimy
on the whole surface.
It seems pretty logical to me.
Vilma! How did you cook
these dumplings?
In steam, wrapped in a napkin.
Well, what do you have
to say about that?
- Gnocchi can be steamed, right?
- Yes, they can.
If you don't know how to treat
your father in front of guests
then get out off my sight!
Can I finish chewing
my last gnocchi?
Leave the last dumpling
and get out!
Maybe I made dumplings
and I ended up with gnocchi.
It's a disgusting excuse!
You, chef from a five-star hotel,
don't know what you're serving.
You might not know it,
but I'd never dine on
anything as disgusting
as gnocchi!
How dare you talk about
mother's cuisine like this?
Don't you know what a typical
Viennese potato dumpling is?
- Gnocchi!
- Dumplings!
- Come on, Jindra!
- Calm down, mom!
My priest taught me to respect
my mother and father,
and this is the result of the
materialistic way of upbringing.
Choke on those gnocchi!
This is my house and nothing,
not even that dumpling, is yours.
This is your fault. This is the
result of your poor rearing!
I should have brought her up!
But I wouldn't be able to leave
the house for even a second!
I'd have to be here with a whip
from sunrise to sunset!
You think I haven't noticed
you whispering:
"Quick before dad comes."
This is just unbearable!
I let these vipers into my heart.
I mean a whole nest of vipers!
- Leave me alone!
- Come on, we have a visitor.
Everybody doesn't have
to hear this.
Let everybody hear it!
You didn't give me a son.
What can I expect
from a woman like you?
Professor...
Does that brat realize
I take nitroglycerin?
Calm down, Jindich.
I was interrogated
by the Nazis!!!
You can't beat me
with something like gnocchi.
Take it away.
These gnocchi make me sick.
Who asked
for your opinion anyway?
Once you raise your own daughter
you can come talk to your father.
Did you see it, professor?
She takes French, English and
the piano, and she's a monster.
Let me quote
this respected publication:
Delicate Viennese gnocchi
can be prepared in steam...
I gave you life!!!
This is the result
of your choice of friends.
An anarchist bohemian and
a red Bolshevik gnocchi!!!
- What would you like?
- Dad wishes you happy holidays.
And asks if you could keep quiet
at least on Christmas Day.
Your dad...
Come say it yourself,
you communist pig!
You needn't to send a messenger!
This isn't the General's office!
Everybody knows something.
Do you know
who started the Beatles?
You think it was some Czech
patriots?
- Since when do you have X-mas?
- I'm gonna go nuts.
You're such a pig! You even get
wasted on Christmas Eve!
Fuck you! If you have
another heart attack,
I won't be there again to help
you, you son of a bitch!
No one ever asked you for that!
This is my house! My apartment!
I can yell as much as I want!
You got it for jerking off
on an army base,
but I got it for years
spent in a Nazi prison!
There's no soldier,
like a real soldier.
- I'm sorry. Good day, madam.
- Hello.
- Merry Christmas.
- To you as well. Go Pt'a.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Can Jindra go out?
- Never... ever!
The guitar and I now stand
before your home
Take pity please at least
on this poor tree
That gave its life to sing
for you alone
And ask us in,
the guitar and me
The guitar and me
- SPRING 1968- It's time
- Pt'a! Help me. Quick.
- Big changes, huh?
- That's life.
It was about time.
This is good. At least we have
some true women in the audience.
It's better
to talk to the crowd.
You boys and girls don't need
to be shy to come to our station
to see our workplace.
Perhaps we're holding you
a bit, comrade police officer,
but as we have such a rare
chance, and some young men
may be considering the police
as their future occupation,
could you tell us some stories
from your professional life?
I'm sure you are full
of thrilling stories!
It's basically busywork -
mostly paperwork.
- Please...
- Please...
We got the order to eliminate
a saboteur on a motorbike.
A man with a leather backpack.
Our position was at a blind turn.
We hid on a bluff by a pond.
It was about two thirty
when a man on a bike approached
us with a leather backpack.
He was an offender, of course.
A murderer most likely.
They must be treated
without kindness.
It's not like working
with a magnetic needle, kids.
As soon as the shooting stopped
we heard another motorbike.
A man with a leather backpack
was driving it.
The order was clear:
He can't get by at any cost!
There was no time
to contemplate who was who.
You mean...
That's right. Two rounds.
I gotta go. Duty calls.
That's pretty harsh, huh?
...when leading a society,
people must trust politicians.
If there is somebody saying
that today's party's politics
are just a matter of us,
that person knows very little...
- Talking about politics!
- About communist politics...
What do they want to reform?
It's always the same people!
The same bastards.
Thieves and murderers.
They want to turn the events of
1948 into a democratic movement.
- Look here!
- Show me.
- With jumping ropes! Come here.
- Good looking, huh?
This minister gets
almost no sleep
because she can get more work
done in the morning.
She is an emancipated woman,
nice and alert.
She likes doing it
because she's emancipated.
- She looks like a cleaning lady!
- Shut the door.
- Why?
- Someone might hear you.
And they'll lock you up again.
Proletariats of all countries,
fuck off!
Now I feel relieved, my dear.
- Are you okay?
- It's nothing.
No one believes that you are
okay. You just groaned.
- I didn't groan.
- Come on, you did.
Why would you groan
if you were okay?
I've been watching you for days.
You are getting pale like Death
vanishing before my eyes.
You can tell me everything!
Even that you don't feel good.
Now you groan! Try to deny it.
My daughter is rude...
and the old hypochondriac
is constantly groaning here!
Do I, the war invalid after
three heart attacks, groan?
Do I bother anybody here
with it? No, I don't!
Sorry. I know you are sick.
Me too.
I never got married because
I'm a variety artist.
It's a nomadic life.
It's an adventure...
tricks, charms, magic.
I'm on a special diet.
It's a lonesome life.
That's why I answered your ad.
I should probably show you
something. Naturally.
- How long have you been at this?
- From my youth. Sorry.
Basically since childhood.
Sorry,
let's finish that trick.
- Pavel, blow.
- My name is Pt'a.
- That's old.
- You'd be amazed. It still works.
I'm sorry.
- Check you out!
- Hello.
The youth are here doing
something for their health.
Show me
your smoker's papers, kids.
It's spring. The young people
are dating instead of studying.
Somebody may rely on his parents,
but hormones are working.
Everything in nature is pairing.
It looks like somebody is a
third wheel here. Right, ebek?
No matter how I count:
one, two...
- You know what? Fuck you.
- Excuse me?
Fuck you!
A hippie in the family
of an army officer.
Now you're playing the hero,
but what will your dad say?
Hello? Hi dad. Fine...
He's got the best life.
His parents are in America.
- What about this?
- Show me.
That's grandpa.
Your grandfather.
- It's nice when dad isn't home!
- Don't say such stuff.
Can I join you in bed?
- You'll be hot.
- No, I won't.
Then come on in.
- Sour.
- What do you mean sour?
They can't be sour. They're
from professor Rhon from Bubene.
They are pretty gross!
Was he like this
when you were still dating?
Who? Your father?
No, he wasn't.
Who are you going out
with anyway?
With the handsome guy?
Or with the neighbor?
Who would you go out with?
- It's an easy question.
- Well, I'm like you.
So you go out with Elien?
He is a bit like your father.
Then it's gonna be hell.
I won't be able to take it.
Do you think Elien and my father
have anything in common?
- How did you get that idea?
- I don't know. What do you think?
Actually they do.
- Don't be so pathetic.
- Don't ask me next time.
- Look. He's hanging out here.
- Michal.
Ssssh. Quiet. Don't startle him!
Don't be silly.
- I got you, you bastard!
- What's wrong?
Wait, you bastard! I'll show you.
I'm telling you to stand still!
- I will. Once you calm down.
- You want me to calm down?
- Dad, don't embarrass me here.
- Come on, Ba!
Okay, let's talk about it.
Man to man. Okay?
- Have you calmed down yet?
- Completely.
- Can we talk now?
- Okay, but stay where you are.
- I'm not moving, damn it.
- Mom, he's moving, right?
This isn't working.
We had a deal, right?
- You don't believe your own dad?
- No, I don't.
- Did you hear it?
- Good evening.
Hello. Jindika.
What would your dad say
if you talked to him like this?
We sure achieved something.
You bastard!
Wait until you get home!
- Apologize to your teacher!
- He started it!
You idiot!
Thank you.
I haven't been to the movies
for fifteen years at least.
Jindra!
Come home.
Come home!
This chair is pretty low. I feel
like I'm sitting in an armchair.
But the food is delicious. It's
much better than canteen food.
I only eat in the canteen, and
their cooking isn't like yours.
You should know that
Pt'a is a pretty naughty kid.
I like kids and I do lectures.
That was why I answered your ad.
I see.
- Do you want to see my gun?
- No.
Guys always want to see a gun.
- Can I ask you something?
- No.
- What would you like to know?
- I wonder...
It doesn't burn, Pt'a.
I've heard that you killed
a man. Is it true?
It happened a long time ago.
I took a part in an operation.
- Against who?
- Against a spy.
There isn't much to tell.
We got an order to eliminate
a saboteur on a motorbike...
- Let's not write any more ads.
- Okay, we won't.
We can manage by ourselves.
I'll work.
Come on...
This is...
Jindika, do you know where
I put my teeth last night?
In a glass in the bathroom.
As a girl a long time ago
The boys and
I climbed in trees
And when they broke
the branches
They put cherries
down my blouse
When they got too curious
what was under there
I shooed them away
with a green branch
I more or less
protected myself
Nobody could touch
my cherries
Don't ever trust
the boys you like
They'd all steal the cherries
from your pie
- Good afternoon.
- Hello.
Before we get
to the children's grades
I'm obliged to inform you about
one very unpleasant thing.
There is a bad habit
spreading here.
The children use
cuss words too often.
Especially one of them.
That word is...
FUCK
- Where did they learn it?
- Not from us.
- Do they all say it?
- All of them.
Even ebkov.
- That's terrible.
- Come in.
Hello. I'm sorry
to interrupt you...
I'm running around
but I can't find my way.
You know my wife used
to take care of the PTA.
Where is the high school glass...
I mean high school classrooms.
It's one floor up, Mr. Kraus.
I mean down.
You're on the wrong floor.
I'm sorry.
- Looking for somebody, comrade?
- What?
- Mr. Kraus!
- I'm sorry.
- Are you okay?
- It's fine. I just felt dizzy.
- You don't look good.
- You look terrible too.
I'm sorry. You're so pale.
I always look like this at
the end of the school year.
Did you find the class?
No, I didn't.
I've never even thought I'd be
so incompetent without a woman.
But Jindika is almost
a grown woman.
- I've always wanted a son.
- I'll lend you mine sometimes.
Thank you. I'm home.
- Can I ask you something?
- Of course.
- What is the medal for?
- For bravery.
- Thank you. Good night.
- Good night.
Hello? Dad?
Fine. You want me to come
to see you in Washington? When?
Life is only luck
Today you're up,
tomorrow down
And then life flows on
to the sea of death to drown
All drift along to the sea
Some today and some tomorrow
And if you find love
don't waste it on sorrow
What are you running for?
You'll wear me out.
I can't go there panting like
this. Let's go see your aunt.
- No way.
- Go ahead.
Aunt Eva is coming, but
she's not coming to see us.
Do you think
she takes him seriously?
I think it's a done deal.
You seem
as if it was today's headline.
- You can't do anything about it.
- Why would I change anything?
She's gonna ruin her life
with that choleric.
I know she's a teacher but
she is completely unteachable!
Do you want me to put tomato
sauce there for tomorrow?
Go open the door, please.
- Hello.
- Hello, professor. Hi scout.
- Come in. Take your thing off.
- Aren't we here too early?
- Not at all.
- Pt'a couldn't wait.
Look what I brought you.
This is beautiful!
- Hi Jindika!
- Hello.
What are you making?
- Gnocchi?
- I tried making dumplings.
- They're overcooked.
- Yeah.
Let me help you. It happens.
This has Burian's pictures in it.
You can meet zdenk Burian.
He's my friend.
- Pt'a's so wrapped up with him.
- Me too.
- I've always wanted a daughter.
- Dad has always wanted a son.
- Can I taste it?
- Sure.
It looks good.
It's delicious!
Did you make it by yourself?
It's my mom's recipe.
Why is she there for so long?
Eva isn't eighteen.
She may know what she's doing.
I'm happy she'll live here.
He alone is enough for me!
- This is not right, is it?
- It's good.
- You meant the sauce?
- It's delicious!
I eat everything.
Jail taught me a lesson.
You have no idea...
but this is delicious!
It's great, isn't it Pt'a?
Say something.
The dumplings remind me
of the eggs of Chelonia Mydas.
- Whose eggs?
- Sea turtle's.
- Dad?
- Yeah.
Can I go to the movies?
You are staying at home so you
don't get into any trouble.
I have summer vacation.
You have nothing to do?
I have a date with Jindra.
Then go ahead,
go out with your cousin.
This is professor Masaryk,
our president and liberator.
Soon you'll be studying
about him again.
I'm an optimist.
The West is supporting us.
At least this is what
my brother says. He's in London.
We give the Bolsheviks
one year. Two at the most.
Excuse me!
- Hello!
- Hello!
- Is Jindra home?
- No. She's with her boyfriend.
I see. Thank you.
Bye.
You're looking forward to it,
aren't you?
- It's just for a year.
- What do you mean?
Come on.
Jindra!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Is Jindra with you?
- No.
- Then say hello to her.
- She's not here.
- Promise me you'll come back.
- I won't be gone forever.
It was beautiful.
- Hi!
- Hi.
I was looking for you.
Elien's going to see his parents
so I wanted to say good bye.
- Really?
- Bye. Good night.
G'night.
- How long are you going for?
- I don't know yet.
Bye.
Come on. Elien will be back
in a year, right?
Meanwhile you and I could
go out. Just the two of us.
- We could.
- You think so too?
- We are almost family.
- That's right.
I can go with you anywhere,
Michal
since we are practically
brother and sister.
Because it's obvious that there
are things among siblings which
are totally out of the question.
- Are you gonna have more kids?
- Come on, Vaek.
Kids, come get some finger food!
- Be careful, Pt'a.
- Sure.
Offer some to everybody.
- Maru?
- Yeah...
London came through.
Eva, that's great.
I have goose bumps!
- That's what I call a honeymoon.
- Isn't that great?
Gentlemen, I read an article
in "Foreigner Curiosities"
that an average woman thinks
about sex every five minutes.
An average human,
I mean a man
thinks about it
every seven minutes.
- What's the point of the story?
- That I'm an average woman.
In that case I'm a woman too.
Gentlemen, I had a patient who
was not yet as old as Jindich
and he didn't have
a heart condition.
Even the age difference
wasn't as big as yours.
Guess what? That man expired
during their wedding night.
Professor, stop painting
the devil on the wall.
That's reality.
I'd like to show you
the results of my yearly work.
Actually it was
more my brother's idea.
As you know he lives in London,
and we still write each other.
My brother, captain Otakar Kraus,
flew for Royal British Airforce.
During the war he shot down
five enemy fighter planes.
While the biggest tyrants
and mass murderers
have giant monuments here,
Czech pilots don't have even
a tiny memorial in Prague,
but it seems that after a long
period of rule by crude vermin,
even those in the highest places
are coming to their senses.
Hopefully an advantageous time
for our plan is arriving.
My brother and I decided to use
the lonesome pedestal on Letn,
which is standing there
for absolutely no reason.
To make a long story short,
following my brothers directions
I built
something like a small model.
Back then.
And now.
Don't pay any attention to this.
As you know I wanted a son but...
This is supposed
to be my brother.
This is pilot Fajtl. We haven't
made up our minds yet...
Well, compare the difference.
Just to take off, huh?
It must have been
a hell of a lot of work,
and it's such a silly thing,
right?
Don't just sit here like a lump.
Go have fun with the others.
You can't be tucked in here
like this.
Fresh coffee is coming.
- Did you give them the spoons?
- Not yet.
- What spoons?
- Our wedding present.
- Come on, bro!
- It's not the right time now.
Why not? This is the right time.
Why wouldn't this be
the right time for our present?
- Which one is it?
- That one over there but...
Let them open it themselves.
Well, Eva, open it!
- What is it?
- Teaspoons.
A lot of teaspoons
are always useful.
Watch out! They are not
just any old teaspoons.
They are plastic teaspoons.
Light, flexible and pliable.
Here you go, professor.
You see, these teaspoons were
developed in socialist Germany.
I told you to save them.
They weren't made for hot coffee.
I wonder where our German
comrades made their mistake.
There were shooting
in the air during the war.
You two were made
for each other, right?
Anything not from the USA
isn't good enough for you.
If I put two identical
matchboxes in front of you...
and I said one was American,
which one would be better, huh?
The American one, of course.
- Of course, the American one.
- Of course, the American one.
You're like my son. He brags
about America, about jeans...
Why doesn't he get his hair cut
like an American astronaut?
Where's that bastard anyway?
Nirvana, Olympia
And Heaven don't exist
If someone rags on the world
I just get pissed
I don't care about
The infinite universe
I'm fine with
A few great years on Earth
Heaven on earth exists you see
I speak the truth, believe me
For life I'd give mine if I must
but I don't wanna bite the dust
I'm not alone, believe me
There are beautiful things
for those who want to live
Heaven's beauty depends on you
When the time comes
You'll know what to do
When heaven on earth
Starts for you and me...
- Are you looking for something?
- Where are the tablecloths?
Go get Michal to put you
in bed at home, okay?
- Mom! My brother's dead!
- What are you talking about?
- He has his head in the oven.
- In our electrical oven?
Michal!
Calm down. Let me see.
It won't be bad, but I'll take
him to the hospital to make sure.
Jindika!
- Dad!
- Bohou!
What did the doctor say?
It's just as well.
I'm fine. I just collapsed.
It's not a big deal...
Let's go home.
How is he?
- Well?
- He has heatstroke.
It's so stupid to try poisoning
yourself in an electrical oven.
Sorry.
To tell the true,
he started to smell good.
Eva...
Vaek...
Bro...
Attention...
Marshall Malinovsky.
I read you.
What?
Let me give you my grandmother.
What's wrong?
- I can hear it.
- Who is it?
- It just woke me up.
- Is anything wrong with Michal?
Dad! The Russians are here!
- What?
- What?
Tell them we'll be right there.
Tell them to wait for us.
- What?
- Boris? That dumb ass.
Turn on the radio!
You studied Russian. How do you
say bastards in Russian?
Duraki.
Yesterday,
on August 20th, 1968
the armies of the Soviet Union,
Poland. Germany, Hungary
and Bulgaria crossed
the Czechoslovak borders.
When I came back
everything was different.
Brother!
Are you nuts?
What?
Dad's whole world fell apart.
He took it as total betrayal.
But some got promoted.
Comrade principal!
I'm looking for classroom 4B.
It wasn't just Elien
who didn't return.
Mom has never seen
Aunt Eva again.
The honeymoon
was extended for twenty years.
This film is dedicated
to everyone
whose friends, lovers,
parents and children
disappeared overnight
as you remainded here alone.
WINTER 1967
in-between times
It was Christmas 1967.
I was about to turn sixteen.
I was hopelessly in love
and I wanted to die.
Come on Boris.
The girls are cold.
- This way. This is great.
- Open it.
- Tamara!
- Wait a minute.
- Take care.
- Thank you very much.
- All the best.
- Thank you.
- This is for you.
- Come on Boris, hurry up.
- Thank you Boris.
- Come on, let's go...
I give the Bolsheviks one year.
Two at the most.
Hello.
- What're you doing?
- Merry Christmas.
Are you nuts?
How can you be so cruel?
How can you be so cold?
COSY DENS
I bought here guitar because
of you
And spent each cent of
daddy's heard earned pay
And thought the work to make it
wasn't through
I already knew the song
I'd like to play
Story by
Executive Producer
Director of Photography
Written by
Directed by
Menu: Monday-breakfast:
tea, bread and butter.
Bro...
Bro...
Mom, my brother's dead!
Mom, he's not moving. It's true,
Dad. Mom, he's dead...
You idiot!
- You have nothing to do today?
- I got you again.
You won't be pissing me off
for long, you bastard.
Speaking. I read you.
Roger. Give me extension 205.
Put it on.
It's major ebek speaking,
get the menu ready!
What menu? I didn't say that.
- You said it.
- You made a mistake.
Okay, I made a mistake. I'm
preparing a menu for the kids...
Get the reports ready.
Over and out.
- What's for lunch today?
- Stop screaming and go read it.
Are we having
tomato sauce again?
- What do you see?
- Chicken.
So you see.
This is ridiculous.
His family destroys
an architectural work
and replaces it with a tank!
Do five more for me.
One... two... three...
Five...
- Jindra!
- Six...!
Seven... I said ten!
- You said five.
- I said five but I meant ten.
Come on, slowly.
Do you know that one man had the
hiccups for 13 straight years?
Come on, girls...
Hello!
- Hi, aunt.
- At school call me teacher.
Comrade teacher.
Tell your parents we'll come
visit the day after tomorrow.
- What time should I come?
- Come at three.
Will you be
alone for Christmas?
Not really. I have
a projector and a piano.
- Otherwise it sucks here.
- Thanks for the compliment.
You have a package from America.
- It's from your parents, huh?
- Yeah.
They're awesome.
Nice boots.
They'd look good on my mom.
You're full of shit.
Look at your shoes.
Come on in!
Do you have a ticket?
- Elien looks like Jean Marais.
- I hope this one'll be better.
It's so cool
that they show this.
Did you know
Jean Marais likes boys?
- Really?
- He's kidding.
You mentioned the resemblance...
- You mean Elien is...
- A fagot... gay...
Quiet!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- So I look like Jean Marais?
- Jiina said that.
I told you not to bike on ice,
but you didn't listen.
They were kissing, kissing
for so damn long!
Why are you running
in the house.
Didn't I tell you to get
a haircut for Christmas?
- It's like Aesop's hair.
- Esau's dad.
Him too.
Go and vacuum!
Don't just hang around!
Let me help you.
- Why isn't aunt Eva coming?
- She'll come on Christmas Day.
- She has a visitor today.
- Comrade teacher?
Damn, I hope it fits now...
Yes, comrade teacher.
Love is fatal disease
Each has his own
heart's ease
Listen to how I myself
found release
Merry Christmas!
One moment, please.
- Pt'a, hurry up.
- It's occupied.
For how long?
A while.
It's free.
- What stinks in here?
- The heather. Just my luck.
Jesus Christ was born,
let us be merry
the bud bloomed into a rose,
let us enjoy it.
Of pure life, of royal family
he was born for us...
He was born for us...
She's smiling. See?
She's smiling!
And if they splashed boiling
oil in my face she'd be what?
She'd be smiling!
And it's actually so simple.
It was supposed to be a C minor
but what did we hear instead?
The butcher smiles in spite
of her sub-normal intelligence
and hangs out with a local freak
right under her father's eyes.
You could beat her to death,
and still she'd play...
And it's actually so simple.
Jesus Christ was born...
He was born for us!
- I don't have an ear for music!
- My own blood doesn't hear it?
Your mother
and I have perfect pitch!
You do it on purpose!
Play it again!
- Are you feeling better today?
- Yes. Don't worry. It's okay.
- It's better today.
- I think I said something!
Saboteurs.
- We bring you news...
- Mom.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
- Ba.
- Oh please, give it to me.
Come on, young man.
- Sing a carol for us.
- Jesus Christ was born...
Shut up. Can't you at least stop
these political provocations
at Christmas.
- No betting today, guys.
- Vclav! Grandma!
My beloved sister in law.
- Where's your sister?
- She'll come tomorrow.
- She has a serious date tonight.
- Thank God she has a man!
- A biology teacher!
- A biology teacher!
- You are absolutely radiant.
- Really? I feel completely...
Come have a look.
For God sake, take it out.
Wait, calm down!
I'll take it out.
You always get me!
What a Christmas...
Wait. Take your shoes off here!
We have a new carpet.
- It's Christmas Eve.
- Shut up. Take your shoes off.
- Did you get these at work?
- No way. They're brand new.
You see brother.
He's a biology teacher.
He will explain that four
meter tall bear to you.
I'm just saying what the TV said.
A kodiak bear is 3.7 meters tall.
- Will you have a shot?
- Sure.
Three meters seventy...
Three meters seventy.
That's like an African elephant!
- So what?
- Boys, please...
You can't believe
everything they say on TV.
I just said that they said
it rises on its hind legs
and measures three meters
seventy. Maybe more!
Don't believe the hype.
I'm one meter eighty five.
- I'm one eighty three. So what?
- Get on my back.
- Stop it.
- Try to touch the ceiling.
Try it and when you touch it,
we will see how big
your kodiak bear is.
Watch out. The kodiak is coming.
I'll climb up. Hold on to this.
Okay. Be careful. Wait...
Now I have to get on you
somehow.
You gotta get on
your back legs...
You're the back legs,
I'm raising my front paws.
Stand still. Be careful.
I'm going up.
- Come on, idiot.
- Jesus.
Make a mark there.
How am I supposed
to make a mark?
- Use your claw.
- He's nuts. Jesus...
Uzlinka, hand me a fork.
- Growl dad.
- What did you say?
- Growl.
- I'll show you once I get down.
Hand it to me carefully
so you don't get hurt.
- I got it. I'll make a mark.
- Didn't you already have enough?
- Quit staring and measure it.
- And the magic word?
- Excuse me?
- The magic word!
I'll kill you, you bastard.
Hold on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What's up?
- Elien is sorry.
Every year's the same.
- He admitted he went too far.
- It's okay.
He's sending you this
to make up for it.
Thanks.
Jindika!
We haven't poured the lead yet!
- Lead's dead.
- We're measuring a bear.
- See you.
- Merry Christmas.
Damn women! Don't touch me!
Am I at the sink yet?
What can you see, Jindich?
I give the Bolsheviks one year.
Two at the most.
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Don't you think it's magic?
- I do.
Look.
I love glass.
I always wanted a paperweight.
- It's not just a paperweight.
- What is it then?
A kodiak bear...
I heard one man had the hiccups
for 13 straight years.
Can't you hold your breath
for a little while?
As a boy I could stay under
water for a minute and a half.
Under water. You can't breathe
through the skin and pores.
- Stop it!
- It's a piece of cake.
Pt'a said that pearl divers can
stay under water for 15 minutes.
Come on, that's impossible.
- Why not?
- Fifteen minutes?
- Sure.
- You can't even last a minute.
Why couldn't I last a minute?
- Come on, boys.
- Well? Let's try it.
From now on I won't argue,
I'll bet.
- One crown for every second.
- Okay.
Anything under a minute is yours,
anything over is mine. Deal?
Let's go.
- Three, two, one...
- You have to follow me.
- Okay, you say it.
- Ready, steady, go!
- Finished?
- Not yet.
Not at all. Hold your nose!
Plug your nostrils.
Okay, I'll plug my nose.
It's not such a big deal.
Ready, steady, go!
He's breathing.
I can hear him breathe.
He's breathing.
I can see it. I can hear it. I'm
not timing you. You can breathe.
I'm finished. It's off.
I'm not timing you.
He's getting red.
Come on, brother. A blood vessel
in your brain might burst.
You're not young anymore.
You'll crumple like a leaf.
He's a dumb ass.
- He'd be willing to kill himself.
- How long did he last?
- No good. He isn't under water.
- What do you mean?
- It's like biking down a hill.
- What do you mean?
- You don't need to peddle!
- Do you peddle under water?
- What's under the tree?
- I wished for a crossbow.
Oh no, a crossbow?
Let's go to the bathroom!
Excuse me, little girl.
Boys!
Excuse me, bigger girl.
You see. He isn't breathing.
One minute one second.
I owe you a crown!
That was incredible, man!
You're an amphibian!
What did you make for dinner?
The carp is still in the tub!
I bought one already sliced
two days ago.
You mean you can kill the carp?
Your dad isn't around anymore.
You can't, huh?
Let's remember those who can't
be at our Christmas table.
Let's sit in silence and pray
for those who died in the war
and for my tortured friends
from the resistance movement.
Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those
Who trespass against us...
Amen.
Amen.
Enjoy your meal.
Merry Christmas!
Uzlinka!
A crossbow!
- Who gave it to her?
- Santa Claus.
He still uses
the same wrapping paper.
I wonder what this is, mom.
- You know what it is.
- No, I don't.
Oh boy!
Genuine Stolichnaya vodka!
- Don't open it now!
- Is it from Uncle Boris?
The tree holder's from Uncle
Boris. He'll be back in summer.
I wonder what this is.
Thanks, dad.
Thanks, dad.
Pretty good, huh?
This is something
for mom from dad.
- Drinking glasses?
- Go ahead. Shake it.
We needed these badly!
Ours are already broken.
That's right.
Ours are already broken.
Did you notice anything
unusual about these glasses?
- They're light.
- This is...
This is not funny.
Just watch, you heckler!
What happens when you drop
an ordinary glass on the floor?
- It breaks.
- Exactly. It breaks.
An ordinary glass will break.
That's how it used to be.
But then a couple of smart guys
got together...
Stop grinning!
It's no coincidence that
they all came from Poland.
- Socialist Poland!
- I see.
Madam Curie-Sklodowska, or
Glass-ska came from Poland.
Well...
- It's unbreakable glass.
- What do you mean?
It's a miracle.
Can I try it?
Lda!
- How hard can I smash it?
- Go all the way, girl!
The glassmakers
won't have anything to eat.
Granny...
It means we're one step
ahead of them!
- How did you like the test?
- It wasn't hard enough.
You think so?
Okay then. Go ahead, big man!
Who do you think you're helping?
The other side?
Did you notice the weird shards?
They're round like flowers,
and don't cut you!
Really. I've never seen
anything like that.
This is strange. It's four of us
at the table all year around,
and we've got five of them.
It means one try
for everybody, right?
HOLD ON, PIONEER!
- What is it?
- It's a very interesting thing.
I bought it during
a fellowship in Kiev.
- Do you know Kiev?
- Yes, I do.
It's a beautiful city.
Everything is new.
That's where I got this thing
"Hold on, pioneer."
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
It's a toy that makes boys
like you over there stronger.
It hurts!
- Are you okay Pt'a?
- It just numbs you a bit.
The object and fun of the game
is to hold on. Turn it on!
Turn it on,
grit you teeth and hold on.
Why are you shaking so much?
Because electric power's
running inside me.
- So let go of it.
- I can't.
Electric power's running in me.
The boy has to turn it off.
- Turn it off, Pt'a.
- Turn it off for a minute.
Turn it off!!!
- Well...?
- I don't think it's a safe toy.
I'm a biology teacher, I know
what I can take. Come try it.
- I don't want to.
- Take it. It's fun.
- I just grab it. Turn it on.
- But not too much!
He can turn it all the way up,
it doesn't matter.
- It's not doing anything.
- It can't. We're not touching.
The bodies are touching...
Blooming in May...
- Exciting, huh?
- It hurts.
It's beautiful, Vilma!
I don't deserve such a thing.
But the gift that brings
the most happiness
is one made by a man himself.
That's right. It's for me?
Thank you, Jindich.
Jack of all trades, right?
Is it a dog?
- It's a camel!
- Where did you learn this?
At camp during the war.
I even made bread chess once.
- From white and black bread?
- No from soggy war rations!
You are looking
at the origins of life.
It began here and its apex is
our existence. It's a miracle!
I've got Gott's 45! Come on.
- Something really stinks here.
- Frankincense.
Come on, frankincense
can't smell that bad.
- Are you nuts?
- Screwing is for kids.
Men will drink! Right?
- Now something stinks here.
- Drop it, mother.
I'll show you something
you've never seen before.
For God Sake, Bohou...
Stop it!
Quiet! Do you know what
soldiers in a trench do
when they need to warm up...
- What?
- Does anybody know?
They... name... bullets...
individually...
- Name bullets individually?
- What?
You won't do that.
- Marshall Malinovsky!
- Brother.
- Dad!
- What?
You're the man!
Hands up!
I promote you to the position
of poster of bulletins.
- Let's have a drink.
- Later.
Let's light the frankincense.
Just for the smell...
- Is doing it on Christmas O.K.?
- Yes, it is.
You're my best present, Eva.
I'm going to unwrap you.
Raise your hands...
Bend forward...
Come on... sit down.
- I'll take your shoes off first.
- Wait. Give me that shoe!
Now the other shoe.
Shoes, beautiful legs...
Do you see it, Eva?
Do you like it?
Take it in your hands
and just feel the energy.
- I don't want it.
- Come on, take it.
I'm praying on my knees.
Feel the energy.
And now your earring
like icing on a cake.
- Isn't this exciting?
- I don't know. I feel sick.
- Mom...
- Yes!
Hurry! Turn the light off!
- Teacher, can I ask something?
- Yes.
- Does shit burn?
- Pt'a!
- What's he saying?
- Does shit burn?
Camel shit does,
for example. It's true.
It's true.
Do you know what time it is?
- What time is it?
- It's late.
We said we would always
choose dads together.
Go to bed or I'll take away
your microscope
and you'll get it back at
the end of the school year!
Don't look at me and go!
Good night. Be a good boy.
So I'm being interviewed
for the position of father.
I'm making a nice Christmas Eve
for the incomplete family.
I'm making fiction, some kind
of illusion for the boy,
a sixth-grader
who is going to judge me.
He will decide whether we can
spend a couple of hours in bed.
I came
with the offer of quality sex.
Bamboo chopping...
the milk & water position...
Long hours of homework all
in vain. All because of your...
- Good night.
- Come on, Saa.
- Don't force yourself.
- I'm not forcing myself.
Just be quiet and quick, please.
- Eva...
- Quickly.
- Are you sure you want it?
- I'm sure.
- You know, Eva...
- Ouch! -Sorry!
- It's okay.
- You make me infinitely happy.
That's good, Saa.
- I'll be quiet, don't worry.
- Quiet and quick.
Eva...
What is it?
Damn it! I've had enough of
this. This is pissing me off...
Mom!
I will...
Who's this ugly hippie here?
You mean Gagarin's brother?
I wanted to pass
the bulletin board on to you.
You bastard!
- How high is it, doctor?
- Higher than last time.
We've got to do something about
your blood pressure.
Two or three days
at our clinic would help.
I can't do that.
- Are you taking those pills?
- Sometime I forget.
You mustn't.
They're very important.
Let's have something stronger
before lunch, professor.
I have 12 year old, 60% plum
brandy from doctor Vacenovsk.
- Vilma, have a thimbleful.
- Mrs. Vilma can't drink.
- But professor...
- Her blood pressure is too high.
- I'll drink for mom.
- This isn't eggnog, young lady.
This is a man's drink! Do you
actually know how to drink this?
First, you raise the glass.
You can smell the pit.
You have to suck in...
The pain!
Are you trying to kill me,
you bastards? Get up!
You're dismissed! Both of you!
- Well?
- What?
How about that teacher of yours?
I don't know.
He's slimy, isn't he?
Yeah.
Pt'a doesn't like him either.
- Can we play that new record?
- You better not.
- Auntie...
- Of course you can. - Thanks!
Will Bohou mind?
Let's have someone else
yell here for a while.
I might put an ad in the paper.
- An ad?
- Pt'a needs a father.
Come on, Eva...
Walk without a hunched back
and it'll happen.
Thank you.
We always have pork with sauce
and dumplings on Christmas Day.
Right, Vilma? Professor
has always had seconds.
I like it very much.
- Can we begin? Bon Apptit.
- You too.
The sauce curdled a bit somehow.
It's not really perfect.
- No way. It's delicious.
- It's been better before.
A good housewife
is always unsatisfied.
That's true. It's delicious!
Aren't the dumplings
a bit mushy?
Gnocchi should have
a slightly mushy surface.
Did I hear you right?
Did you say gnocchi?
Yeah, mom's gnocchi.
Gnocchi have a slimy surface
and are light and fluffy inside.
Are you sure you didn't mean
mom's delicious dumplings?
I'm talking about
mom's delicious gnocchi.
You mean these true and only
Viennese potato dumplings?
How do you dare to call them...
- Gnocchi!
- Dumplings!
Let me explain the difference
between dumplings and gnocchi.
Dumplings are long cylindrical
shapes cooked in boiling water,
then cut into thin slices
after being taken out of water.
Therefore, dumpling slices
are slimy only on the edges.
On the other hand,
typical gnocchi
are made into little balls and
each piece is cooked separately.
Therefore, it's slimy
on the whole surface.
It seems pretty logical to me.
Vilma! How did you cook
these dumplings?
In steam, wrapped in a napkin.
Well, what do you have
to say about that?
- Gnocchi can be steamed, right?
- Yes, they can.
If you don't know how to treat
your father in front of guests
then get out off my sight!
Can I finish chewing
my last gnocchi?
Leave the last dumpling
and get out!
Maybe I made dumplings
and I ended up with gnocchi.
It's a disgusting excuse!
You, chef from a five-star hotel,
don't know what you're serving.
You might not know it,
but I'd never dine on
anything as disgusting
as gnocchi!
How dare you talk about
mother's cuisine like this?
Don't you know what a typical
Viennese potato dumpling is?
- Gnocchi!
- Dumplings!
- Come on, Jindra!
- Calm down, mom!
My priest taught me to respect
my mother and father,
and this is the result of the
materialistic way of upbringing.
Choke on those gnocchi!
This is my house and nothing,
not even that dumpling, is yours.
This is your fault. This is the
result of your poor rearing!
I should have brought her up!
But I wouldn't be able to leave
the house for even a second!
I'd have to be here with a whip
from sunrise to sunset!
You think I haven't noticed
you whispering:
"Quick before dad comes."
This is just unbearable!
I let these vipers into my heart.
I mean a whole nest of vipers!
- Leave me alone!
- Come on, we have a visitor.
Everybody doesn't have
to hear this.
Let everybody hear it!
You didn't give me a son.
What can I expect
from a woman like you?
Professor...
Does that brat realize
I take nitroglycerin?
Calm down, Jindich.
I was interrogated
by the Nazis!!!
You can't beat me
with something like gnocchi.
Take it away.
These gnocchi make me sick.
Who asked
for your opinion anyway?
Once you raise your own daughter
you can come talk to your father.
Did you see it, professor?
She takes French, English and
the piano, and she's a monster.
Let me quote
this respected publication:
Delicate Viennese gnocchi
can be prepared in steam...
I gave you life!!!
This is the result
of your choice of friends.
An anarchist bohemian and
a red Bolshevik gnocchi!!!
- What would you like?
- Dad wishes you happy holidays.
And asks if you could keep quiet
at least on Christmas Day.
Your dad...
Come say it yourself,
you communist pig!
You needn't to send a messenger!
This isn't the General's office!
Everybody knows something.
Do you know
who started the Beatles?
You think it was some Czech
patriots?
- Since when do you have X-mas?
- I'm gonna go nuts.
You're such a pig! You even get
wasted on Christmas Eve!
Fuck you! If you have
another heart attack,
I won't be there again to help
you, you son of a bitch!
No one ever asked you for that!
This is my house! My apartment!
I can yell as much as I want!
You got it for jerking off
on an army base,
but I got it for years
spent in a Nazi prison!
There's no soldier,
like a real soldier.
- I'm sorry. Good day, madam.
- Hello.
- Merry Christmas.
- To you as well. Go Pt'a.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Can Jindra go out?
- Never... ever!
The guitar and I now stand
before your home
Take pity please at least
on this poor tree
That gave its life to sing
for you alone
And ask us in,
the guitar and me
The guitar and me
- SPRING 1968- It's time
- Pt'a! Help me. Quick.
- Big changes, huh?
- That's life.
It was about time.
This is good. At least we have
some true women in the audience.
It's better
to talk to the crowd.
You boys and girls don't need
to be shy to come to our station
to see our workplace.
Perhaps we're holding you
a bit, comrade police officer,
but as we have such a rare
chance, and some young men
may be considering the police
as their future occupation,
could you tell us some stories
from your professional life?
I'm sure you are full
of thrilling stories!
It's basically busywork -
mostly paperwork.
- Please...
- Please...
We got the order to eliminate
a saboteur on a motorbike.
A man with a leather backpack.
Our position was at a blind turn.
We hid on a bluff by a pond.
It was about two thirty
when a man on a bike approached
us with a leather backpack.
He was an offender, of course.
A murderer most likely.
They must be treated
without kindness.
It's not like working
with a magnetic needle, kids.
As soon as the shooting stopped
we heard another motorbike.
A man with a leather backpack
was driving it.
The order was clear:
He can't get by at any cost!
There was no time
to contemplate who was who.
You mean...
That's right. Two rounds.
I gotta go. Duty calls.
That's pretty harsh, huh?
...when leading a society,
people must trust politicians.
If there is somebody saying
that today's party's politics
are just a matter of us,
that person knows very little...
- Talking about politics!
- About communist politics...
What do they want to reform?
It's always the same people!
The same bastards.
Thieves and murderers.
They want to turn the events of
1948 into a democratic movement.
- Look here!
- Show me.
- With jumping ropes! Come here.
- Good looking, huh?
This minister gets
almost no sleep
because she can get more work
done in the morning.
She is an emancipated woman,
nice and alert.
She likes doing it
because she's emancipated.
- She looks like a cleaning lady!
- Shut the door.
- Why?
- Someone might hear you.
And they'll lock you up again.
Proletariats of all countries,
fuck off!
Now I feel relieved, my dear.
- Are you okay?
- It's nothing.
No one believes that you are
okay. You just groaned.
- I didn't groan.
- Come on, you did.
Why would you groan
if you were okay?
I've been watching you for days.
You are getting pale like Death
vanishing before my eyes.
You can tell me everything!
Even that you don't feel good.
Now you groan! Try to deny it.
My daughter is rude...
and the old hypochondriac
is constantly groaning here!
Do I, the war invalid after
three heart attacks, groan?
Do I bother anybody here
with it? No, I don't!
Sorry. I know you are sick.
Me too.
I never got married because
I'm a variety artist.
It's a nomadic life.
It's an adventure...
tricks, charms, magic.
I'm on a special diet.
It's a lonesome life.
That's why I answered your ad.
I should probably show you
something. Naturally.
- How long have you been at this?
- From my youth. Sorry.
Basically since childhood.
Sorry,
let's finish that trick.
- Pavel, blow.
- My name is Pt'a.
- That's old.
- You'd be amazed. It still works.
I'm sorry.
- Check you out!
- Hello.
The youth are here doing
something for their health.
Show me
your smoker's papers, kids.
It's spring. The young people
are dating instead of studying.
Somebody may rely on his parents,
but hormones are working.
Everything in nature is pairing.
It looks like somebody is a
third wheel here. Right, ebek?
No matter how I count:
one, two...
- You know what? Fuck you.
- Excuse me?
Fuck you!
A hippie in the family
of an army officer.
Now you're playing the hero,
but what will your dad say?
Hello? Hi dad. Fine...
He's got the best life.
His parents are in America.
- What about this?
- Show me.
That's grandpa.
Your grandfather.
- It's nice when dad isn't home!
- Don't say such stuff.
Can I join you in bed?
- You'll be hot.
- No, I won't.
Then come on in.
- Sour.
- What do you mean sour?
They can't be sour. They're
from professor Rhon from Bubene.
They are pretty gross!
Was he like this
when you were still dating?
Who? Your father?
No, he wasn't.
Who are you going out
with anyway?
With the handsome guy?
Or with the neighbor?
Who would you go out with?
- It's an easy question.
- Well, I'm like you.
So you go out with Elien?
He is a bit like your father.
Then it's gonna be hell.
I won't be able to take it.
Do you think Elien and my father
have anything in common?
- How did you get that idea?
- I don't know. What do you think?
Actually they do.
- Don't be so pathetic.
- Don't ask me next time.
- Look. He's hanging out here.
- Michal.
Ssssh. Quiet. Don't startle him!
Don't be silly.
- I got you, you bastard!
- What's wrong?
Wait, you bastard! I'll show you.
I'm telling you to stand still!
- I will. Once you calm down.
- You want me to calm down?
- Dad, don't embarrass me here.
- Come on, Ba!
Okay, let's talk about it.
Man to man. Okay?
- Have you calmed down yet?
- Completely.
- Can we talk now?
- Okay, but stay where you are.
- I'm not moving, damn it.
- Mom, he's moving, right?
This isn't working.
We had a deal, right?
- You don't believe your own dad?
- No, I don't.
- Did you hear it?
- Good evening.
Hello. Jindika.
What would your dad say
if you talked to him like this?
We sure achieved something.
You bastard!
Wait until you get home!
- Apologize to your teacher!
- He started it!
You idiot!
Thank you.
I haven't been to the movies
for fifteen years at least.
Jindra!
Come home.
Come home!
This chair is pretty low. I feel
like I'm sitting in an armchair.
But the food is delicious. It's
much better than canteen food.
I only eat in the canteen, and
their cooking isn't like yours.
You should know that
Pt'a is a pretty naughty kid.
I like kids and I do lectures.
That was why I answered your ad.
I see.
- Do you want to see my gun?
- No.
Guys always want to see a gun.
- Can I ask you something?
- No.
- What would you like to know?
- I wonder...
It doesn't burn, Pt'a.
I've heard that you killed
a man. Is it true?
It happened a long time ago.
I took a part in an operation.
- Against who?
- Against a spy.
There isn't much to tell.
We got an order to eliminate
a saboteur on a motorbike...
- Let's not write any more ads.
- Okay, we won't.
We can manage by ourselves.
I'll work.
Come on...
This is...
Jindika, do you know where
I put my teeth last night?
In a glass in the bathroom.
As a girl a long time ago
The boys and
I climbed in trees
And when they broke
the branches
They put cherries
down my blouse
When they got too curious
what was under there
I shooed them away
with a green branch
I more or less
protected myself
Nobody could touch
my cherries
Don't ever trust
the boys you like
They'd all steal the cherries
from your pie
- Good afternoon.
- Hello.
Before we get
to the children's grades
I'm obliged to inform you about
one very unpleasant thing.
There is a bad habit
spreading here.
The children use
cuss words too often.
Especially one of them.
That word is...
FUCK
- Where did they learn it?
- Not from us.
- Do they all say it?
- All of them.
Even ebkov.
- That's terrible.
- Come in.
Hello. I'm sorry
to interrupt you...
I'm running around
but I can't find my way.
You know my wife used
to take care of the PTA.
Where is the high school glass...
I mean high school classrooms.
It's one floor up, Mr. Kraus.
I mean down.
You're on the wrong floor.
I'm sorry.
- Looking for somebody, comrade?
- What?
- Mr. Kraus!
- I'm sorry.
- Are you okay?
- It's fine. I just felt dizzy.
- You don't look good.
- You look terrible too.
I'm sorry. You're so pale.
I always look like this at
the end of the school year.
Did you find the class?
No, I didn't.
I've never even thought I'd be
so incompetent without a woman.
But Jindika is almost
a grown woman.
- I've always wanted a son.
- I'll lend you mine sometimes.
Thank you. I'm home.
- Can I ask you something?
- Of course.
- What is the medal for?
- For bravery.
- Thank you. Good night.
- Good night.
Hello? Dad?
Fine. You want me to come
to see you in Washington? When?
Life is only luck
Today you're up,
tomorrow down
And then life flows on
to the sea of death to drown
All drift along to the sea
Some today and some tomorrow
And if you find love
don't waste it on sorrow
What are you running for?
You'll wear me out.
I can't go there panting like
this. Let's go see your aunt.
- No way.
- Go ahead.
Aunt Eva is coming, but
she's not coming to see us.
Do you think
she takes him seriously?
I think it's a done deal.
You seem
as if it was today's headline.
- You can't do anything about it.
- Why would I change anything?
She's gonna ruin her life
with that choleric.
I know she's a teacher but
she is completely unteachable!
Do you want me to put tomato
sauce there for tomorrow?
Go open the door, please.
- Hello.
- Hello, professor. Hi scout.
- Come in. Take your thing off.
- Aren't we here too early?
- Not at all.
- Pt'a couldn't wait.
Look what I brought you.
This is beautiful!
- Hi Jindika!
- Hello.
What are you making?
- Gnocchi?
- I tried making dumplings.
- They're overcooked.
- Yeah.
Let me help you. It happens.
This has Burian's pictures in it.
You can meet zdenk Burian.
He's my friend.
- Pt'a's so wrapped up with him.
- Me too.
- I've always wanted a daughter.
- Dad has always wanted a son.
- Can I taste it?
- Sure.
It looks good.
It's delicious!
Did you make it by yourself?
It's my mom's recipe.
Why is she there for so long?
Eva isn't eighteen.
She may know what she's doing.
I'm happy she'll live here.
He alone is enough for me!
- This is not right, is it?
- It's good.
- You meant the sauce?
- It's delicious!
I eat everything.
Jail taught me a lesson.
You have no idea...
but this is delicious!
It's great, isn't it Pt'a?
Say something.
The dumplings remind me
of the eggs of Chelonia Mydas.
- Whose eggs?
- Sea turtle's.
- Dad?
- Yeah.
Can I go to the movies?
You are staying at home so you
don't get into any trouble.
I have summer vacation.
You have nothing to do?
I have a date with Jindra.
Then go ahead,
go out with your cousin.
This is professor Masaryk,
our president and liberator.
Soon you'll be studying
about him again.
I'm an optimist.
The West is supporting us.
At least this is what
my brother says. He's in London.
We give the Bolsheviks
one year. Two at the most.
Excuse me!
- Hello!
- Hello!
- Is Jindra home?
- No. She's with her boyfriend.
I see. Thank you.
Bye.
You're looking forward to it,
aren't you?
- It's just for a year.
- What do you mean?
Come on.
Jindra!
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Is Jindra with you?
- No.
- Then say hello to her.
- She's not here.
- Promise me you'll come back.
- I won't be gone forever.
It was beautiful.
- Hi!
- Hi.
I was looking for you.
Elien's going to see his parents
so I wanted to say good bye.
- Really?
- Bye. Good night.
G'night.
- How long are you going for?
- I don't know yet.
Bye.
Come on. Elien will be back
in a year, right?
Meanwhile you and I could
go out. Just the two of us.
- We could.
- You think so too?
- We are almost family.
- That's right.
I can go with you anywhere,
Michal
since we are practically
brother and sister.
Because it's obvious that there
are things among siblings which
are totally out of the question.
- Are you gonna have more kids?
- Come on, Vaek.
Kids, come get some finger food!
- Be careful, Pt'a.
- Sure.
Offer some to everybody.
- Maru?
- Yeah...
London came through.
Eva, that's great.
I have goose bumps!
- That's what I call a honeymoon.
- Isn't that great?
Gentlemen, I read an article
in "Foreigner Curiosities"
that an average woman thinks
about sex every five minutes.
An average human,
I mean a man
thinks about it
every seven minutes.
- What's the point of the story?
- That I'm an average woman.
In that case I'm a woman too.
Gentlemen, I had a patient who
was not yet as old as Jindich
and he didn't have
a heart condition.
Even the age difference
wasn't as big as yours.
Guess what? That man expired
during their wedding night.
Professor, stop painting
the devil on the wall.
That's reality.
I'd like to show you
the results of my yearly work.
Actually it was
more my brother's idea.
As you know he lives in London,
and we still write each other.
My brother, captain Otakar Kraus,
flew for Royal British Airforce.
During the war he shot down
five enemy fighter planes.
While the biggest tyrants
and mass murderers
have giant monuments here,
Czech pilots don't have even
a tiny memorial in Prague,
but it seems that after a long
period of rule by crude vermin,
even those in the highest places
are coming to their senses.
Hopefully an advantageous time
for our plan is arriving.
My brother and I decided to use
the lonesome pedestal on Letn,
which is standing there
for absolutely no reason.
To make a long story short,
following my brothers directions
I built
something like a small model.
Back then.
And now.
Don't pay any attention to this.
As you know I wanted a son but...
This is supposed
to be my brother.
This is pilot Fajtl. We haven't
made up our minds yet...
Well, compare the difference.
Just to take off, huh?
It must have been
a hell of a lot of work,
and it's such a silly thing,
right?
Don't just sit here like a lump.
Go have fun with the others.
You can't be tucked in here
like this.
Fresh coffee is coming.
- Did you give them the spoons?
- Not yet.
- What spoons?
- Our wedding present.
- Come on, bro!
- It's not the right time now.
Why not? This is the right time.
Why wouldn't this be
the right time for our present?
- Which one is it?
- That one over there but...
Let them open it themselves.
Well, Eva, open it!
- What is it?
- Teaspoons.
A lot of teaspoons
are always useful.
Watch out! They are not
just any old teaspoons.
They are plastic teaspoons.
Light, flexible and pliable.
Here you go, professor.
You see, these teaspoons were
developed in socialist Germany.
I told you to save them.
They weren't made for hot coffee.
I wonder where our German
comrades made their mistake.
There were shooting
in the air during the war.
You two were made
for each other, right?
Anything not from the USA
isn't good enough for you.
If I put two identical
matchboxes in front of you...
and I said one was American,
which one would be better, huh?
The American one, of course.
- Of course, the American one.
- Of course, the American one.
You're like my son. He brags
about America, about jeans...
Why doesn't he get his hair cut
like an American astronaut?
Where's that bastard anyway?
Nirvana, Olympia
And Heaven don't exist
If someone rags on the world
I just get pissed
I don't care about
The infinite universe
I'm fine with
A few great years on Earth
Heaven on earth exists you see
I speak the truth, believe me
For life I'd give mine if I must
but I don't wanna bite the dust
I'm not alone, believe me
There are beautiful things
for those who want to live
Heaven's beauty depends on you
When the time comes
You'll know what to do
When heaven on earth
Starts for you and me...
- Are you looking for something?
- Where are the tablecloths?
Go get Michal to put you
in bed at home, okay?
- Mom! My brother's dead!
- What are you talking about?
- He has his head in the oven.
- In our electrical oven?
Michal!
Calm down. Let me see.
It won't be bad, but I'll take
him to the hospital to make sure.
Jindika!
- Dad!
- Bohou!
What did the doctor say?
It's just as well.
I'm fine. I just collapsed.
It's not a big deal...
Let's go home.
How is he?
- Well?
- He has heatstroke.
It's so stupid to try poisoning
yourself in an electrical oven.
Sorry.
To tell the true,
he started to smell good.
Eva...
Vaek...
Bro...
Attention...
Marshall Malinovsky.
I read you.
What?
Let me give you my grandmother.
What's wrong?
- I can hear it.
- Who is it?
- It just woke me up.
- Is anything wrong with Michal?
Dad! The Russians are here!
- What?
- What?
Tell them we'll be right there.
Tell them to wait for us.
- What?
- Boris? That dumb ass.
Turn on the radio!
You studied Russian. How do you
say bastards in Russian?
Duraki.
Yesterday,
on August 20th, 1968
the armies of the Soviet Union,
Poland. Germany, Hungary
and Bulgaria crossed
the Czechoslovak borders.
When I came back
everything was different.
Brother!
Are you nuts?
What?
Dad's whole world fell apart.
He took it as total betrayal.
But some got promoted.
Comrade principal!
I'm looking for classroom 4B.
It wasn't just Elien
who didn't return.
Mom has never seen
Aunt Eva again.
The honeymoon
was extended for twenty years.
This film is dedicated
to everyone
whose friends, lovers,
parents and children
disappeared overnight
as you remainded here alone.