Penguin League (2019) Movie Script
1
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
Space, Flip!
One small waddle for a penguin,
one giant wing flap for
penguinkind.
I still can't believe
we're here!
We actually launched
from our home
on planet Earth's north pole
and colonized outer space.
It's utterly incredible!
Well, I do know it's
time for lunch.
Are you as hungry as I am?
Mm, lunch?
I could eat a whole penguin.
Hey, you're a penguin,
you can't eat a penguin.
(GULPS) Moving right along.
Hey, Space Jack's fly
through is half a light year
up ahead on the right.
Oh, I could go for one
of their fish sandwiches.
I'll radio the ICE ship,
see if the gang wants us
to get anything for them.
Greetings, Flip, Zooey.
How's your first dual
space expedition going?
It's going great, captain.
I think Flip and I are
gonna make a penguific pair.
Right, Flip?
All right, Zooey, just
long as we keep lots
of yummy snacks around.
I'm happy to hear that, you
two.
I had a hunch you'd make a good
team.
Hey, are you guys hungry at
all?
Zooey and I are starving,
and we're about to cruise
right by Space Jack's.
Want us to pick up some
extra fish sandwiches?
Mm, mm, Space Jack's makes
the best fast fish sandwiches
in the cosmos.
Yeah, I could swallow
them whole!
Now Flop, we'll remember
to chew this time, okay?
That sounds wonderful, Flip.
We'll take three fish
sandwiches.
And feel free to take a
break and join us for lunch
when you drop them off.
Awesome, see y'all in a few.
Y'all, where did you get y'all
between the north pole
and outer space?
My uncle Reg.
Uncle Reg?
I don't remember an uncle Reg.
He was from the
Blexus star system
and visited last Earth winter.
You were hibernating.
Lucky me.
He left me a 10 gallon
cowboy hat
and you woke up and used it
as a Slip 'N Slide, remember?
Oh, that?
I worked up some speed
on that thing.
I know, you wore out the felt
and crushed it on the first day.
I always crush it, Flip.
It's what I do, crush it!
Let's get some fish.
Thank you so much for the
fish sandwiches, Zooey, Flip.
Yeah guys, thanks a bunch.
Ah, the pungent
scent of sardines
gets my beak salivating
every time.
Hey, Flop, h-h-how
about a game
of scissors, paper, ice cubes?
You lose, I get your sandwich.
And if you lose I get yours?
No.
What kinda deal is that?
A good one from my
perspective.
Exactly, I think I'll pass.
Ah, have it your way.
If you two would like
to take a minute
to join us for lunch,
we have room.
Thanks a bunch,
Captain Stella,
but we don't want to
leave Slushy out in space.
He might get lonely, or
think he isn't welcome.
And he's super cool.
We're enjoying getting
to know him a lot.
Slushy is rad, top
of the line spacecraft.
He's a bit too literal
sometimes,
but we're working on that.
Ah, I thought Slushy was
the name of their spaceship.
It is, they upgraded to
an artificial intelligence
motherboard, so the ship talks
to them.
Get out!
It's true, they're
talking about installing AI
in this ICE ship, too!
Really?
But we already have
you on the crew,
how much artificial
intelligence do we need?
Gee, funny.
I know, right?
It was so funny I forgot to
laugh.
See?
An AI's not perfect.
Well, I'll let you
space penguins ship out,
and we'll see you at the
end of your expedition.
Space penguins!
Hip, hip!
Hooray!
Enjoy your sandwiches, and
if you need anything else
just let us know.
I love to hit the fly through.
They can probably tell
from the size of your belly.
BOTH: Ohh!
Let's go, Slushy.
The universe is our clam.
I'm starving, I can't wait
to dig into our sandwiches.
Don't they smell scrumptious?
Mmm.
(SNIFFS) Hmm, something
smells funny, actually.
Did you?
No, I do not have gas.
It was a one time thing, okay?
I already apologized.
Okay, okay, you don't
have to bite my head off.
You never let me forget
anything, you know that?
You did some damage in here,
that's all.
It wasn't that bad.
It made my eyes water.
We're penguins, our
eyes are always glassy.
Not like that!
Slushy, you're lucky you weren't
here yet, it was horrible.
SLUSHY: I am not outfitted
with aroma sensories,
therefore it's doubtful
I would have shared
in your unpleasant experience,
Zooey.
Is that your fancy
way of agreeing with me?
SLUSHY: Yes.
Okay, this conversation's
over, it's time to eat.
Slushy, activate auto pilot.
SLUSHY: Automatic
pilot activated, Flip.
Mm-mm, fresh fish sandwich
here I come!
SLUSHY: The accuracy of
your description is suspect,
seeing that the fish in
question traveled approximately
6.5 million Earth miles.
If stored in an ice and salt
mixture during transport,
it is conceivable the
fish reached Space Jack's
still in the marketplace's
definition
of quote fresh unquote.
I think I just lost my
appetite.
Slushy, I just want to enjoy
my fish sandwich right now.
Can I just do that, please?
SLUSHY: Certainly, Flip.
Thank you.
SLUSHY: Although I feel
it is my duty to inform you
that your sandwich contains
the elements carbon,
hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen,
phosphorous, and sulfur.
What does that mean, Slushy?
SLUSHY: There's
cheese on your sandwich.
Cheese?
Cheese?
SLUSHY: Yes, cheese.
But, but I specifically said
no cheese, no cheese, right?
Absolutely.
We cannot afford you
having any cheese
in this close environment
of this small ship.
We penguins are lactose
intolerant,
and you definitely have problems
with gas.
Maybe the fly through
workers just made a mistake.
Maybe we can take
the cheese off.
Slushy, is it melted or sliced?
SLUSHY: My x-rays show that
the cheese is melted, Flip.
Melted, aww, we can't even
peel it off.
All that good fish, ruined!
Blast it!
Slushy, what kind of
cheese is it?
SLUSHY: My sensors
indicate American cheese.
American, the most obvious
cheese.
This is terrible, what
are we going to eat?
SLUSHY: The underside
of the bun appears
to be salvageable.
Excuse me, do we
look like pigeons?
In all my days,
I've never had to resort
to picking at pieces of bun.
I'm not going to start now.
Ditto that, we're penguins.
Space penguins!
Elite space penguins,
intergalactic ICE penguins!
(GASPS) Flip, we need
to warn the others!
If our sandwiches have cheese,
theirs probably do, too.
Slushy, connect us to
the ICE ship right away.
SLUSHY: As you wish, Flip.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Captain Stella, don't
eat those fish sandwiches!
I'm afraid its too late, Flip.
(GASPS) Oh no!
Yeah guys,
Flop already dug in.
Blast it!
He's going to (GRUNTS)
out the other end.
(FLOP GRUNTING)
Any minute!
But we just flew out,
why did you have to eat
a sandwich so fast, Flop?
Two sandwiches.
Two?
Yeah, two.
I bet Bondo at scissors,
paper, ice cubes, and won!
I've never been so
happy to lose in my life,
let me tell ya.
What a nightmare.
Needless to say,
penguins, I passed on mine.
Smart, captain.
Alas, it begs the question,
who put cheese on our
sandwiches?
I ordered all of them with
no cheese, captain, honest!
He did, I heard him
loud and clear.
And that's no small feat.
We're penguins,
not external ear flabs.
(FLOP MOANING AND GRUNTING)
Oh you guys, I think
I'm gonna be sick.
Bondo, find a bucket for Flop.
Do not let him
vomit on the floor.
If we slip in it, we'll
never get back on our feet.
We can't right our
bodies up at all!
Too clumsy, we'll slide
in it forever.
I'm on it, captain.
(FLOP GROANING)
Flip, Zooey, I'm calling
an emergency meeting.
I want to see the both of you
at headquarters, immediately.
(FLIP GULPS)
We're on our way.
You think we're in trouble?
Trouble, what did we do?
Duh, Zooey, we delivered bad
sandwiches to the ICE ship.
SLUSHY: Correction, Flip.
The sandwiches themselves
are adequate.
They are prepared as
advertised and all ingredients
are well within their
expiration dates.
You and your species
representatives simply have
an inversion and/or intolerance
to cheese.
Thanks Slushy, but that
doesn't exactly
make me feel better.
SLUSHY: Sounds like a
personal problem.
Geez, Louise, I didn't know
they programmed you with snark.
SLUSHY: I'm not sure
who Louise is.
You may have me confused
with another artificial
intelligence unit.
I can't do this right
now, I'm stressing out.
It's gonna be fine, I think.
Let's just go see what the
captain wants to talk about.
Hopefully it's not revoking
my space flight credentials.
SLUSHY: The odds of
that are solidly 50/50.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Finally, what took
you two so long?
Our radar showed you at
two light years away,
but in the time it took,
Slushy could have
traveled four light years.
Uh, we encountered a flash
asteroid field, Captain.
Oh?
I didn't see any space
disturbances on my screens.
That's because there
weren't any, Captain.
There was no astroid field.
Flip was too nervous to
exit our ship and come in.
He hung onto his seat
for dear life,
until Slushy had no choice
but to eject him
from the airlock.
Gee, thanks Zooey,
the asteroid field story
was perfectly feasible.
Was not, Captain Stella
said herself
she didn't see it
on the screens.
They pop up by
surprise all the time.
Flash asteroid storms,
before radar
picks them up, they're gone!
Name one time
that's happened to us.
I'm gonna have an
issue with that spaceship
if he ejects me from
my seat again, Captain.
You two take a chill pill,
penguins.
And if possible,
make that an antacid.
Most importantly, who
in the galaxy put cheese
on an entire order of fish
sandwiches for penguins
who don't digest cheese?
It's all my fault, Captain.
I should have checked them
before handing them over.
Nonsense, Flip, you
shouldn't have had to.
But a spaceguin worth his
mettle leaves no rock unturned.
What happened to
Flop is my fault.
Flip, Flop's going to be fine.
He just needs a little
down time and bedrest.
And possibly a mackerel juice
cleanse.
But we were buddies, he and I.
We were each other's
first co-pilots.
Flip and Flop, the dynamo duo.
What am I, chopped liver?
With cheese on it.
(GASPS) Why, you.
Listen up you two,
there's a valuable lesson
to be learned here.
Our mistakes don't define us,
and the unexpected
happens all the time.
This whole big, wild
universe is borne of chaos,
and that chaos is always
a mere breath away.
And that's supposed
to make me feel better?
Yeah, I'm not
really feeling it.
That's okay, penguins.
Don't sweat the little stuff.
Now, we must get
down to business.
I wanna know who made
those cheese sandwiches.
We should be able to
find that easily enough.
We'll just go back and talk
to the fly through manager.
That's right, he might
even still be there.
That's a great place to start.
Report back to me when,
or if, you get answers.
There's no if, Captain,
we'll find out who did this.
And we'll bring the
scoundrel to justice.
Hold your feathers, Zooey.
For all we know, it
was all just a mistake.
That's a little too
convenient for my taste, Cap.
I think there's villainy afoot,
and we're gonna get to the
bottom of it.
Uh oh, he's in
detective mode again.
This could get interesting.
I'm counting on it.
I'll hold things down here,
and keep you updated
on Flop's condition.
In the meantime,
you penguins get answers.
Hopefully, we can ensure
this doesn't happen
to anyone else in the cosmos.
FLIP AND ZOOEY: Yes, Captain.
Cheese, eugh.
Squeak, Commander Ham Sanders.
I received a distress call from
ICE.
I'm not going anywhere near
ICE, it's bad for my joints.
Send somebody else, I need a
vacation.
No, Commander Ham
Sanders, ICE stands for
Intergalactic Confederation
Coalition.
They're intergalactic penguins!
Intergalactic penguins,
are they friends or foes?
They're friends, and
they're in need of help.
We'll help them, Captain
Ganymede.
Just a word of caution,
Squeak.
Don't let your love for
anything and everything edible
get in the way of your mission.
I won't, we're on our
way, Captain Ganymede.
Thanks for the heads up.
Great, it's high time we
get to kick some space butt.
Let's get this baby on the road.
Aye aye, Commander!
FLIP: This, this is some
pickle, Zooey.
Mm, I could go for a juicy
pickle right about now.
Oh darn, me too, I
forgot we hadn't had lunch.
Got a couple cold fish sandwiches
with cheese in the back.
Go dig in!
Ha, ha, ha.
SLUSHY: I would
recommend against it,
based on the outcome
of Flop's meal.
We know, Slushy, I
was just joking around.
SLUSHY: I see, levity.
A ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha.
Hey, Slushy has a
sense of humor!
Kinda.
SLUSHY: Not specifically, no.
A sense of humor,
as you describe,
is intangible and greatly
depends on not only the wit
of the speaker, but the
perceptions of the listener.
I do, however,
possess situational
and self-referential
intelligence and can adapt
to the style and lingo
of the beings
with which I most engage.
Oh, I feel like I ate the
cheese.
Me, too.
Hi, space penguins!
I'm Squeak, with the
Space Guardians,
and this is my partner,
Commander Ham Sanders.
Partner, eh, try superior.
Uh, you get the idea.
We spoke with your headquarters
and heard about the fact
that you have a problem, and
we're here to offer our help.
Wow, the Space Guardians,
for real?
For real, cute flightless
space birds.
That's very cool, thanks
for the offer, guys.
Don't mention it.
Any time you find yourselves
in trouble you can't handle,
the Space Guardians
will be here.
That's good to know.
We need to find out who put
cheese on our sandwiches
that were most definitely
ordered without cheese.
Sounds like lousy
customer service to me.
It could have been anyone.
I haven't been treated
well in light years.
That's a bummer, Commander.
Well, nobody respects their
elders anymore, or authority.
I'm a decorated veteran,
you know.
They get the gist, Commander.
Respect my authority,
space gastropod,
or I'll be forced to
activate my punishing baton!
Uh, yes, Commander Ham
Sanders.
You say you received
sandwiches with cheese?
Do you think it could have been
an error,
or was it done on purpose?
I believe it was purposeful.
The cheese was melted, so
first it had to be added,
then it had to be cooked.
Hmm, melted cheese, oh.
Oh, cheese quesadilla,
cheeseburger!
What is he doing?
Maybe he likes cheese?
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay, now
then.
Exactly where did you get
these cheese sandwiches?
We got them at Space Jack's
fly through.
Space Jack's?
Hmm, do they still have those
two for one
burger bites on the menu?
Uh yeah, I think so.
Mmm.
And the fly through's
always open, correct?
Yes.
That's all I need
to hear, penguins.
We'll swing by there right
away, ask some questions,
see if we can get to the
bottom of this here dilemma,
and find a resolution here.
Thanks, Guardians!
I'm lactose intolerant, so
that sandwich could have made
me feel real bad.
And our friend, Flop, ate two!
He ate two?
Lucky bird.
He's very ill and getting
sicker by the moment,
from what we're being told.
Those contaminated sandwiches
could have done a number
on our whole fleet.
Most of us haven't eaten yet.
You haven't eaten?
You need to get some
food right away!
Flying on an empty s
tomach is dangerous.
We're working on it, Squeak.
So are we, here we go.
If we find out who did this
to you, we'll be in touch.
Absolutely.
Hey, h-how much did you
pay for the sandwiches?
It was eight space
bucks for a half dozen.
Eight space bucks,
whew, good to know.
I have 10 space bucks in
change under the console here.
I might uh, need to, you know,
place an order to
test their aptitude.
Here we go, Commander,
to Space Jack's!
I'll radio headquarters
for backup.
They don't call it a
hamburger joint for nothing.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
The Space Guardians
sure are interesting.
That's one way to put it.
SLUSHY: It sounded to
me like his motherboard
was either aging or damaged.
His system may need an upgrade.
Penguins, is everything
all right out there?
We're okay Captain,
how's Flop?
Not great.
The cheese seems
to be fogging his mind.
He's lapsed into delirium.
FLOP: The ice is thin,
thin ice, we're on thin ice!
Watch your step everyone.
Oh, no.
We're staying with
him until it passes.
We'll do everything we can.
FLOP: Waddle in a straight
line, (groans) straight line!
No penguin left behind.
(GURGLES)
Not on my watch!
We got it, Flop, we're
keeping it straight.
FLOP: One misstep
could spell disaster.
We know, buddy, we know.
Oh, this is just terrible.
Captain Stella, we'll
find whoever did this
and make sure they never do
it to any penguin ever again.
That's a promise.
Stay strong, Flop!
FLOP: Penguin strong,
strength in numbers.
Penguin army unites!
Birdspeed, penguins,
keep in touch.
That wasn't the Flop we know.
We have to do something, Flip.
We can't let this cheesing
go unpunished.
Come on, we're getting
answers right now.
Slushy, warp speed!
SLUSHY: Where should
I warp to, Flip?
Space Jack's fly through,
pronto!
(ROCK MUSIC)
We're glad we caught you
before your shift ended,
Captain Paul.
You're in charge of all Space
Jack operations, correct?
I am.
Who prepares the orders,
Captain?
I do, we're a small team and
I'm a very hooves on manager.
Captain Paul,
do you remember us
and our order from earlier?
No, we see a lot of
customers here at Space Jack's.
Well, do you by chance
recall an order for a bag
of fish sandwiches, then?
Uh yeah, yeah, I believe so.
And what do you
recall of this order?
I'm sorry?
Can you detail for us the
particulars of this order?
Eh, uh, well I think so.
Six fish sandwiches,
tartar sauce on the side,
and no cheese.
Is that right?
I have no further
questions for this witness.
I do, you're telling us you
prepared this order yourself,
Captain Paul, with no
assistance from anyone else?
As far as I can recall,
yes, no.
Which is it, yes, or no?
Uh, um, uh.
Answer the question!
Calm down, Flip.
I, uh, I, I, I...
Come on, come on, spit it out.
Yes, I made the sandwiches,
no, nobody else helped me.
Aha, I knew it!
This giraffe's as guilty
as his neck is long.
Am I in some sort of trouble?
Ohh, you have no
idea, pal, no idea.
I really don't.
Did I do something wrong?
Ah, "did I do something
wrong," he asks.
Were they not cooked
enough, or something?
I can remake them if there's...
The prosecution
rests its case.
The prosecution,
what's this all about?
It's about the cheese,
Captain Paul.
The cheese?
I didn't use cheese.
Lies!
I'm no lying, the order
called for no cheese.
And yet, you put it on anyway.
Monster!
I didn't!
You're going down for this,
big boy.
Hang up that Space Jack's apron.
Captain, the sandwiches
in question
contained melted cheese
when we unwrapped them.
Oh, what?
(MUMBLES) That's impossible!
In our line of work, Paul,
the impossible has a funny way
of becoming possible
all the time.
Listen guys, I know I
didn't mess up that order.
I'm a penguin, and
I'm lactose intolerant.
Had I eaten that sandwich,
I could have perished.
I, uh, I'm so sorry.
It's too late for sorry, punk.
Could you please
calm him down?
Feeling the heat, huh?
Get used to it.
I assure you, I'm as interested
in getting to the bottom
of this as you are.
That's what they all
say, but I won't stop
until you melt like
that cheese, perp.
All right, th-th-this is
crazy.
Trying to plead insanity, aye?
Nice try, but it won't work.
Let me give you the benefit
of the doubt, Captain.
Which is more than you'll
get from me, stretch.
Let's get down to brass tacks.
Oh come on, you two aren't
even police.
Bingo, creep,
we're ICE penguins,
the most elite birds in space.
Or on Earth, for that matter,
which is where we're from.
And Earth creatures
don't fool around, buddy.
That's right, we have
reality TV and cop shows.
We can spot a liar a mile
away.
Listen to me, both of you.
I promise I will do
whatever I can to help you
find out how cheese got
onto your sandwiches.
And one thing I'm sure of
is that it did not happen
by my hoof, you have
my word on that.
Hmm, I believe you.
Yeah, whaddaya think, we
were born yesterday, chump?
Uh, wait, you believe him?
Yes, I do.
Captain Paul, can you keep your
eyes and ears open at work,
and let us know if you see
or hear anything suspicious?
Absolutely.
If there's a saboteur on our
team,
I'd like to weed them
out just as badly as you.
Space Jack's good
name depends on it.
Words, it's your actions
that tell the tale, pal.
Right, can I go now?
You'll go when we say
you can go, fly boy.
Yes, we're done for now,
Captain.
Yeah, scram.
I'll contact you immediately
if I note anything strange.
You do that, or else.
Thanks for taking
the time to talk to us.
We'll be in touch.
Are you done acting like a
lunatic?
What, I was playing hardball.
You were playing bad TV
detective.
It's all part of the schtick,
Zooey.
You're the good cop,
I'm the bad cop.
We smother him until he has
no excuses, nowhere to turn,
and in the spotlight of truth,
his lies crumble to ash under
the heat of a thousand suns!
Sometimes I wonder about you.
SLUSHY: You aren't
the only one.
Who's next?
Let's grill somebody else,
it's fun.
Why don't we brief
Captain Stella on things,
and see how Flop's doing?
Good idea, then we'll
snag another suspect.
Oh boy, are you sure you
didn't eat
one of those tainted
sandwiches after all?
Good job getting answers
from the manager, you two.
Anyone we can rule out at
this stage only helps us
narrow it down to the real
culprit faster.
Yeah, slowly closing in,
like the righteous jaws
of an inescapable vise.
Is he okay?
He's just eager to
solve this thing, Captain.
Oh, I'm relieved.
I thought he ate some of
that tainted fish sandwich.
Naw, it's just Flip being
Flip.
How's Flop doing?
He's, uh, er, not great.
Hey Flop, how ya feeling,
partner?
(SLOBBERING) Keep your voice
down.
I saw polar bears,
they're everywhere.
They blend in with
the snow storm,
we won't see until they're on
top of us.
Ohh.
Oh.
I have someone who might
be able to help us, penguins.
An old colleague in the
Galloping Galaxy
who might be interested in
helping us.
Let me call him.
Great, you guys lead
him real easy,
then I'll come over the
top like a sledgehammer
and lower the boom.
Settle down, Flip.
Justice doesn't flinch, Zooey.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Hello again, Snout, long time
now see.
Wow, yeah.
You look good, Stella, yeah.
Are those your kids?
Uh, no, these penguins
work for me, Snout.
So, no hatchlings?
Maybe some day.
I've been focused on my
career, I'm an ICE captain now.
A captain? (CHUCKLES)
Well excuse me!
Hey, you know mating
season's about to start
in my neck of the stars?
How about a vacation in
the Galloping Galaxy?
(SIGHS) You've been inviting
me for light years, Snout.
And you've been avoiding an
answer
for just as long, Stella.
I'm going to avoid it
a little while longer,
if that's okay.
I'm calling to ask
for your help.
I'm all ears, and nose,
and hooves.
Good to know, Snout, here's
the beef.
Recently, my team ordered food
that was spiked with cheese.
(GASPS) No, who did that?
That's just it, we don't know.
But one of my penguins seems
to have lost his compass,
and the rest of my team
narrowly avoided catastrophe.
Unconscionable, an
attack on you penguins
is an attack on the entire
universe.
I like your thinking, Mr.
Snout.
I mean, who's more peaceful an
animal
than us penguins, right?
Right, and these cheese
dealers have been exploiting
my relatives for as long as
these planets
have been spinning in space.
That's why we've come to you,
Snout.
I figure if it's a cheese
criminal we're after,
you're the best eye in the sky
around.
I'll help you any way
I can, Captain Stella.
I know everything and
anything about dairy products,
anywhere in this galaxy.
And if we can ground another
cheese dealer, all the better.
I like this bull.
Aw, thanks little fella.
Snout, do you know of
any recent cheese attacks
that might link to ours?
Unfortunately,
or fortunately, I don't.
Do you still have the cheese?
Yes.
Great, you can have
it analyzed by experts
to reveal where the
cheese came from.
Dairy forensics, wow.
Eh, pretty much all cheese
is specific to its region,
and the animals who
help create it.
Through identifying its
properties,
as well as any foreign
contaminants,
you can possibly glean where it
came from.
That's sharp, Mr. Snout,
we'll get right on it.
Thank you, Snout,
that's an excellent idea.
I had a feeling you were
the bull to talk to.
Anytime, Captain, and I
like your new title. (LAUGHS)
It really suits you.
I've worked hard for it.
Oh, yeah?
You should come to the Galloping
Galaxy and relax sometime.
Ha, nice try.
(CHUCKLES) I always
have to try.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Flip, Zooey, I'd like
you to talk
to that Space Jack's
manager again,
and find out who supplies
the restaurant's cheese.
We're on it, Captain.
We'll contact him right away.
You'll never see that
manager again.
I beg your pardon, Flop?
The polar bears took him.
His lips are forever sealed.
He's not doing well.
We'll find out who did this
you, Flop,
or my name is not Flip.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Thank you for talking
with us again, Captain Paul.
Yeah, if you didn't, it
would look real suspicious,
and you don't wanna
look suspicious, do you?
Captain, can you tell us who
supplies Super Jack's cheese?
Sure, I order from a manufacturer
beyond the slip stream.
They're called BBS Cheese
Company.
What does BBS stand for?
Uhh, I don't know.
Don't know, or don't
wanna say?
Off the top of my head,
I really don't know.
Off the top of your head,
that some kinda giraffe joke?
I'm not joking, I really don't
remember.
I'm sure it's on their
paperwork, I can look it up.
So you can alert them, aye?
I think not.
Keep your hooves where
I can see them.
All right, look, I want
to help, I really do,
but I think you've
flipped your flippers.
Any more questioning, you
can contact my lawyer,
Debbie Longneck, Esquire.
But Captain!
I'm sorry, I have to go now.
Great, that's just great.
Look at what your endless
haranguing did, Flip.
What, we got the name
of the cheese company.
And we lost our closest
contact to Space Jack's.
Space Jack's, Shmace
Jack's, that giraffe knew more
than he let on.
He was playing dumb,
taking us for suckers.
What am I gonna do with you?
We could go fishing
on planet Freezy.
SLUSHY: If I may interrupt,
we have an ally on planet
Freezy.
We do?
We do?
SLUSHY: Affirmative.
Who?
SLUSHY: One moment
while I access
my planetary
surveillance system.
We have planetary
surveillance?
SLUSHY: Of course, I'm
what you call a smart ship.
My cameras and microphones
are always active
up to five light years.
Whoa, big brother much?
SLUSHY: I have a visual
of our residential ally.
Show us, Slushy.
FLIP: It's Lumpy!
Wow, nobody's seen him
since that crab cage accident
back home on planet Earth.
I thought he was
a goner for sure.
I knew that crafty
bird was alive,
and if he's the same
Lumpy I remember,
he'll have some insight
into our cheese attack.
Slushy, warp speed
to planet Freezy.
We have an old friend
to catch up with.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
(LAID BACK MUSIC)
It's so good to see you
again, Captain Stella.
What blows ICE this way?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, always great
to see
you cutie patooties penguins.
Likewise.
Nuke, B-52, the ICE penguins
need help.
They do?
Yeah, it's a long story.
It's a stretchy cheese story.
Cheese gives me rashes,
(GRUMBLES) bad.
I have some sandwiches
here that need to be tested.
When I thought of experts,
I thought of you, B-52,
the brain, and Nuke, the, uh,
food addict?
I'm all about food, Captain
Stella, peanuts especially.
But also linguine, lasagna,
pizza, pasta.
Teleport those sandwiches over
to us,
we'll get right on it.
Will do, and I only need
the melted cheese tested.
Melted cheese?
Since when did you
guys eat cheese?
That's just it, Nuke, we
don't.
A couple of my penguins went
to Space Jack's fly through,
and someone put cheese
on all our sandwiches.
(GASPS) No!
Oh, dear, those savages.
They really should
be more careful
who they hire at those places.
It makes me thankful
I don't imbibe
organic dietary supplements.
I'm thankful too (CHUCKLES).
It always means more
peanuts for me!
(B-54 GROANS IN DISGUST)
Okay, I've sent the
sandwiches, guys.
They should be in your teleport
chamber in three, two...
One, received and analyzing,
Captain.
Hmm, uh, oh, ehh, eh, well...
Is everything all right?
Do you see anything unusual?
Just a, just one, one, just
one moment.
Right, there we are.
Hmm, very interesting.
I'm all ears.
Correction,
Nuke here is all ears.
Ha ha, very funny.
Stella, my proprietal
breakdown of that cheese
reveals the presence of
cow and goat milk protein,
sheep and buffalo
milk fat, and uh,
(MUTTERS) mouse DNA.
Mouse DNA, but how?
It could mean something
as simple as a stray mouse
getting into the curdling
cheese for a little sample.
While not particularly
appetizing, it is understandable.
I see.
Can you tell me where the
cheese was manufactured, B-52?
Uh, uh, trace amounts of soil,
and iron, oak, and uh, oh!
What is it, what do you see?
Titanium alloy.
(GASPS) Titanium alloy?
That means...
This cheese was
manufactured in deep space.
There it is, Zooey, planet
Freezy.
I can't wait, I've only seen
pictures of planet Freezy.
It looks super fun though, for a
penguin.
Right, I bet Lumpy's
having the time of his life.
SLUSHY: There is the
distinct possibility
that your friend is lonely.
My surveillance shows
no other penguin species
on the planet.
Lumpy, lonely, ha!
You don't know Lumpy,
tell him, Zooey.
Lumpy doesn't like to
be around other creatures,
especially his own kind.
He prefers to be left alone.
That's how he got caught up
in that crab cage
snafu awhile back.
He thought taking to the high
seas
would get him some solitude.
But he only made enemies
of the commercial fishermen out
there.
SLUSHY: If I may
ask, how did your friend
run afoul of commercial
fishermen?
He beaned them in
their heads with fish
anytime they showed
their faces on deck.
SLUSHY: I see.
He's not the most social
penguin you'll ever meet.
Hey, think he'll remember us?
It's been awhile.
Dunno, if not, we
might be in for trouble.
Maybe we should wear helmets.
Not a bad idea.
Slushy, do we have any
protective headgear on board?
SLUSHY: Regrettably, no.
Perhaps you should remain in the
cockpit
and engage this penguin
through our two way screens.
Nah, I'm not afraid of Lumpy.
Once he sees who we are,
everything will be fine.
What about before
he sees who we are?
Well, he might throw
something at Slushy.
SLUSHY: My goodness, shall
I activate our force fields?
We have force fields, too?
Who trained you?
You got training?
Unbelievable.
Hang on, we're
about to touch down.
(RELAXING MUSIC)
Brr, sure is cold down here.
Makes me miss our comfy, cozy
outer space.
It is called planet Freezy,
Flip, what did you expect?
Oh I don't know, a hot
chocolate stand
or three would be nice.
ZOOEY: But you're a
penguin, for birds' sake.
Space life has made you soft.
FLIP: Whatever, six month's
in Slushy's climate control
made me see how
rough we had it before.
Rough, you don't know
what rough is, fluff ball.
Huh, you got a feather in
your throat or something?
Not me, him.
FLIP: Lumpy!
What have we here,
couple of softies?
Lumpy, it's us, Flip and
Zooey.
Mmm, from the insurance
investigator's office?
(LUMPY SPUTTERS)
I knew Burton wouldn't last.
He wore snow shoes,
for cryin' out loud.
(CHUCKLES) The wimp.
No, Lumpy, we're with
the ICE penguins.
Your old team, remember?
(GRUNTS) A new company, huh?
Well, you'll fail just
like the rest,
'cause there's nothing to find.
For the last time, I
didn't burn down no igloo.
Do I look like I wanna
warm things up around here?
You look like the Lumpy we
remember.
You look good.
They let quails investigate
insurance fraud now, huh?
What, who's a quail?
I'm a penguin, just like you.
Yeah, tell me another
one, Miss Partridge.
I was just about to go ice
fishing,
so if you don't have anything
important to discuss,
kindly step aside.
But Lumpy, we do have
something important to discuss.
Oh yeah?
'Cause just like those
goofs who came before you,
you look like you don't stray
too far
from your brochure
talking points.
Listen up, penguin.
We're your friends
from planet Earth.
You deep sea dove with us
off the coast of Antarctica,
you led us in a
choreographed display
for 50,000 king penguins oh
Paulet Island,
you single handedly toppled
the emperor in Iceland.
I remember that, he was
preening and I pantsed him.
(LAUGHS) He fell right over!
That was funny.
So you do remember us?
You, no, all you penguins look
the same.
That's one reason I had
to get away from you,
and find myself.
Pack animals, blech!
But you remember the
event Zooey mentioned,
so you know we were there.
Can you just take our
word for it and play ball?
Play ball, eh, seals play
ball, squirt.
It's a figure of speech, I
just...
Lumpy, you may not
remember him, or care,
but Bondo's doing very
well for himself.
He's second in command,
and will probably
be ICE captain one day.
Bondo, my brother?
The one and only.
Second in command, that's
incredible!
The last time I saw Bondo
he was doing belly flops
on beached whales, (LAUGHS) and
filming it for the internet!
He's come a long way.
Hey, uh, is the
internet still a thing?
Yeah, it's still a thing,
Lumpy.
I've been outta the
loop for awhile, I guess.
You can say that again.
Why would I repeat myself?
Are your ears waterlogged?
No, it's another figure of
speech.
I think we've proven
ourselves, Lumpy.
So let me cut to the chase.
Cheese, you must be crazy.
Lactose is too hard for birds to
digest,
(GRUNTS) especially quails.
(ZOOEY GRUNTS)
I can't speak for quails,
Lumpy, but...
Well, you've got one
standing right next to you.
Eh, my point is, the
cheese wasn't supposed to be
on our sandwiches.
It was added on purpose,
by someone who deliberately
disregarded our order.
Swines!
You think space pigs are
behind it?
Listen to me, all of you.
I recently received a package
addressed directly to me.
All the way out here?
Planet Freezy has mail
service?
We have one little alien
who delivers once a week.
I feel bad for him, but he
really should toughen up
or find other work, you know?
Anyway, my point is, I received
a package
with no return address.
I expected it to be the
new virtual reality headset
I ordered from iPay, but it
wasn't.
What was it?
It was a brick of cheese.
Three tons of it!
Three tons?
I don't know, I never learned
weights or measurements.
It was a lot!
Enough to put me two feet
under, if I'd eaten it.
Two feet, that's a shallow
grave.
Again, I'm not real
clear on measurements,
but as a rule, you don't
need to be buried very deep
on planet Freezy.
The ground is frozen
solid like year round.
Did you ever find who
sent the cheese, Lumpy?
No, I have no idea, but
one thing's for certain.
It was a declaration of
war, plain and simple.
War, but everyone
loses in a war.
Who in the universe would
want to start a galactic war?
That's the question to ask,
squirt.
Who would want war?
Answer that and you'll
likely have your culprit.
Are you sure it wasn't just a
bad gift?
Giving a bird cheese is
akin to finding a wrapped fish
on your doorstep, or a horse
taking a nap in your bed.
It's a message!
And it means nothing good.
Egads!
Could you glean any clues
at all from that package?
Any hints where it came from?
Familiar handwriting?
Uh, that handwriting
was chicken scratch.
A chicken, that makes sense!
Chickens have always
hated us penguins.
They're just bitter because
they're always on the menu.
Quail's a delicacy
on some planets.
Sucks to be quail then.
Why don't you go find one
and tell them about it?
Listen, I think we need
to find ourselves a chicken
and ask some hard questions.
I agree.
Does that mean you're leaving?
Yeah.
Thank goodness.
I know I'm a charming
and fascinating animal,
but I really don't like company.
I just wanna be left alone,
does that make sense?
Perfect sense, thanks
for the info, Lumpy.
We'll tell Bondo you said hi.
Oh no, don't do that.
He might try to contact me
or, or, or worse yet, visit!
Let's just forget this
whole thing ever happened.
If that's the way you want it.
It is.
Now, beat it!
We're going, we're going!
And don't come back.
Don't worry, we won't.
Good riddance!
ZOOEY: Bah!
Same old Lumpy.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
Well, that was interesting.
You can say that again.
What, are your ears
waterlogged?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
SLUSHY: I'm reading sarcasm
in your vocal delivery,
but have no reference
point from which
to properly decipher it.
Correcto mundo, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Filing correcto mundo
in my data banks for
analyzation.
Go for it, buddy.
How's everybody holding up,
Captain?
Flip, Zooey, I'm afraid
Flop is not doing too well.
He's losing his grip on space
reality.
Carnivores, they're
everywhere!
Keep your heads down, penguins.
Okay, okay, Flop,
I'm staying low.
Captain, get down.
Right. (SIGHS)
Polar bears are the
largest meat eaters around,
and us penguins are
second only to the seals
when it comes to being
plump and tasty.
Got it, Flop, we'll
do what you say, buddy.
I don't know about you,
I don't plan to fall prey to
these beasts.
Good idea, Flop, we'll
just stick together
and get through this.
That's what penguins
do, we stick together.
We're a team!
A well oiled machine, an
army, strength in numbers.
(STELLA SIGHS)
We must find the culprit
for Flop's delirium.
Hey, planet Squawkis
is just up ahead.
Maybe we should stop by.
Its chicken population is
exploding.
Good idea,
take us down, Slushy.
SLUSHY: I respectfully advise
against
a ground landing, Zooey.
There appears to be no
area free from droppings.
Unless you're unconcerned with
slogging through bird dung.
Ohh.
Well, since you
put it like that,
just breach their atmosphere
and find us a chicken
who's willing to talk.
SLUSHY: That's a
much better idea.
Descending and scanning
the available populous now.
I bet there's no
chicken on the menus here.
Right, hopefully they
don't have penguin kebabs.
Yikes!
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Hey look, here we go.
Girl talk, I'll handle this.
Greetings, miss.
We come in peace.
I'm not miss, I'm Meg.
A dozen for six space bucks,
or two dozen for 10 space bucks.
Excuse me?
Eggs, you want a dozen or two?
Oh, we're not here for eggs.
We just have some
questions for you,
if you have a moment.
Uh, three space
bucks for one question.
Add a space buck for
each additional question.
What, that's highway robbery!
We don't have highways here.
There are no vehicles, we
walk or fly short distances.
SLUSHY: Hence the
abundance of ground excrement.
How many space bucks do we
have left?
Uh, three, we spent
almost everything we had
on those blasted sandwiches.
Okay, that'll buy us one
question for this chicken.
We have to make it count.
SLUSHY: My self aware AI
can tally all possible queries
and potential responses and
choose the most pertinent
option from this list, if
you direct me to do so.
Go for it my, uh, machine.
(HIGH PITCHED DIGITAL BEEPS)
SLUSHY: Meg, can you direct
us to any being you know
to be involved in an
intergalactic
underground cheese market?
Not personally, no.
But my friend Tony deals
with a shady cheese man
who's usually up to no good.
Great, where can we find Tony?
That'll be one space buck.
SLUSHY: Meg, since
Tony's name is useless to us
without his location, do
you think you could provide
that crucial missing
detail free of charge?
Free of charge?
Well I never!
SLUSHY: Pretty please?
Oh, okay.
Tony lives on planet Hoppis.
Oh, and he's a bunny rabbit.
Thank you so much, Meg.
You've been a tremendous help.
Ah, you can drop three space
bucks whenever you're ready.
SLUSHY: Releasing
payment now.
Shall I proceed to planet
Hoppis?
Hit it, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Hit what?
Ugh, nevermind.
Proceed to planet Hoppis.
SLUSHY: Proceeding.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
Here we are.
Whoa, planet Hoppis is
overgrown.
We shoulda brought a weed
wacker.
Slushy, we can't see through
all the weeds, can you?
Yes, Flip.
My x-ray vision can
detect fine movements
up to five light years.
(CHUCKLES) This guy.
Let us know if you spot
anyone who might be our Tony.
SLUSHY: With all due respect,
Zooey,
I have a better idea.
Oh, okay.
SLUSHY: Attention,
Tony the rabbit.
This is the intergalactic
ICE defender ship, Slushy.
Come out with your paws up.
Whoa.
(GRUMBLES) I'm cool, I'm cool.
Relax Tony, we just
wanna ask some questions.
Yeah, you can lower your paws.
Whew, I was afraid you
guys were space police.
We're ICE.
Sorry our ship came
on kinda strong.
His AI gets carried away
sometimes.
SLUSHY: Please accept
my apologies, Tony.
Wow, that's one
polite space ship.
SLUSHY: Thank you.
My formal manners are assembled
from exceptional programming
content estimated beyond that
of the average 28 year old
human.
Really, Slushy?
You should teach English
classes or something.
SLUSHY: I do teach
etiquette classes
the first Sunday of every
technovia calendar month.
Cool.
Tony, we understand
you have a contact
in the cheese underworld.
I got lots of contacts,
you'll have to be more specific.
A chicken named Meg
told us your buddies
with a cheese man, so to speak.
I might know a cheese man.
(LAUGHS)
I like cheese, so I gotta make
sure I get mine, you know?
Planet Hoppis doesn't exactly
have a booming cheese trade.
We understand, Tony, and
we're definitely not looking
to hurt your cheese connections.
But someone attempted
to poison our fleet
with melted cheese on our
sandwiches,
and we're trying to find out who
it was.
And stop them from doing it
to other unsuspecting creatures.
Someone served cheese
to a bunch of penguins?
That's messed up.
Tell me about it, our
colleague, Flop,
ate two whole sandwiches,
and he's still feeling
the effects.
Bummer.
Where'd you get the cheese?
Funny, we were going to
ask you the same thing.
Well, I'll tell you what.
You can meet my cheese
man if I can have the rest
of your cheesy sandwiches.
FLIP AND ZOOEY: Deal.
Right on!
SLUSHY: I feel the need
to point out that said cheese
has been sitting at spacecraft
temperature
for longer than the recommended
unrefrigerated period.
That's fine by me, officer.
I have a grill, microwave,
pepper, and sea salt.
I'll spruce 'em up like new.
SLUSHY: That sounds
like adequate preparation.
Delivering the remaining
sandwiches now.
Mmm, mmm.
I'm gonna add relish and
they're gonna be delish!
Nice, now let's talk about
meeting that cheese man.
So this rabbit, Tony,
set up a meeting
between us and his
cheese connection.
FLIP: Who's name
we don't know.
But who Tony assures
us will show up.
To offer us some cheese.
And you believe this
will be the same cheese
we found on our fish sandwiches?
We think so, we think so.
We hope so.
What if it's not?
We'll at least be able to
dock another cheese merchant.
Right, we need to get this
dangerous cheese off space.
Cheese is not illegal in
space, Captain.
Well, it should be.
Cheese causes flatulence
and upset stomach in birds.
If it causes flatulence,
Flip and Zooey should be able
to smell this cheese man
coming a light year away.
Gross!
Either way, this is
our best and only lead.
You two have done a great job.
Don't forget about Slushy,
he came up big with the chicken.
The chicken?
Long story.
You know who would
have helped us a ton
if he were still here?
Lumpy.
Boy, he sure would have.
Yeah, well. (MOANS)
Maybe he'll show
back up one day.
Yeah.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
Hey, you never know.
All right, it's time to show
the galaxy
why we're the elite
birds of space.
Time to fly, ICE penguins.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Flip, Zooey, you take
Slushy to the meeting.
We'll be following at a
distance.
Our Space Guardian friends
will be on standby,
in case the cheese man runs.
The deck is stacked, now we
just have to play our hands.
We're ready, Captain.
Let's do this!
Yeah!
(FLOP CHUCKLES)
When we get to Nebula 10,
Slushy,
let's redirect eastward.
Since their sun's to the west,
I don't want us to go warp
speeding
into it if things get crazy.
SLUSHY: Duly noted, Zooey.
Slushy, have you ever
apprehended a perp before?
SLUSHY: Perp, eh, I'm not
familiar with your terminology.
Have you ever
caught a bad guy?
SLUSHY: Considering
that a committed bad
is entirely relative to a
performed good,
I cannot say for certain.
I hate it when he gets
literal.
Me, too.
SLUSHY: I don't mean to
stoke the fires of your hatred,
but my radars have detected
a foreign ship approaching
at warp speed,
directly from the north.
Warp speed from the north?
Who warp speeds straight down?
Someone setting a...
SLUSHY: Trap!
(LASERS BLASTING)
Whoa, we're hit!
We're under attack!
SLUSHY: Force fields
activated.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Our penguins are being
attacked, we have to save them!
Space Guardians, come in.
We're on our way,
Captain Stella.
Without a doubt, that's
the worst customer service
I've ever seen in my life.
Ready the cannons,
Commander, we're going in.
Who runs a flight
crew like this?
Madness!
Bondo, warp speed intercept.
Put us between Slushy
and the attacker.
Our thrusters are down,
Captain.
What do you mean,
our thrusters are down?
I disabled the engines
'cause they made so much noise
they were gonna wake
the polar bears.
Flop, no!
We can't help Flip and Zooey.
(LASERS BLASTING)
SLUSHY: Western force
fields have been damaged,
eastern force fields are down.
Can we withstand
this attack, Slushy?
Where's our backup?
Hang tight, penguins,
we're on our way.
Please, hurry!
Why is he attacking us?
We were just supposed to try
some cheese.
SLUSHY: It's very likely
that informant rabbit
tipped him off, as they say.
Fishsticks, you can't trust
anyone
in the space underbelly.
SLUSHY: Duh!
Did he just duh me?
Nuke, B-52, our penguins
are under assault,
and our ship is disabled.
I need all backup
to move in at once.
We're on our way, Captain.
Don't worry, we'll
save your carbon bases.
Hurry, B-52.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Did you fire back, Zooey?
No, I thought you did.
SLUSHY: I did, I am
autonomous
in my self defense capabilities.
Well then, fire away, Slushy.
(INTENSE MUSIC)
Oh no, Commander Ham Sanders,
look, we know that ship!
We do, indeed, Private Squeak.
It's uh, uh, uh the mail ship.
What, uh no, look closer,
Commander.
Right, oh, it's, uh,
it's the ice cream ship.
What do you care about ice
cream?
Exactly, blast it down.
Ready the cannons, we'll
show them rocky road!
Hang tight, Commander,
we're joining the fight.
That's the warrior
spirit, Private, charge!
How we doing, Slushy?
Considering we are still in
one piece,
I'd say we're doing well.
(EXPLOSION BOOMS)
That sounded bad.
What was that?
SLUSHY: I regret to
inform you that we are
no longer in one piece.
That's bad.
SLUSHY: Technically, yes,
quite bad.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Slushy, Slushy?
Why did we stop firing?
SLUSHY: My cannons
have been damaged
beyond repair, Zooey,
as have my boosters,
thrusters, and reserve tanks.
I'm sorry to report we are
disabled.
We're sitting ducks, we're
gonna...
No, Flip, don't talk like
that.
We're penguins, ICE
penguins, the space elite.
We never surrender, we
never say that one word.
What word?
You know, that word.
No, I, which?
Never say that!
Cheese?
SLUSHY: I believe the missing
word Zooey alludes to is...
(BOO BOO SQUEAL LAUGHS
MANIACALLY)
Who is that?
I am Boo Boo Squeal, penguin,
leader of the dreaded Micecide,
the most feared and revered
mouse in the entire galaxy.
I've never heard of you.
Have you heard of him?
Uh-uh.
What'd you say
your name was, again?
It's Boo Boo, ugh, enough.
You can call me victor, and
to the victor go the spoils.
Good thing your penguins
are in your formal wear,
because you're about to
meet your maker. (LAUGHS)
Oh, that's a good one.
(CHUCKLES)
Why thank you, bird.
Oh, penguin, oh, gosh, I love
penguins!
They're squishy, fluffy,
adorable penguins.
Must we hurt them, Boo Boo?
They're so, (MUMBLES) cute!
Yes, you silly pachyderm, we
must.
I hate penguins, and I
especially ICE penguins.
So you're the cheese man?
Indeed I am.
A mouse, that makes sense.
And was it you who
spiked our sandwiches?
Yes, (LAUGHS) it was me.
But why?
Why not?
You penguins act
like you own space.
You fly around with no
regard for any creature
that doesn't belong
to your clique.
You're penguins, you're
not even supposed to fly.
You're just like you were
on Earth, interminable,
insufferable, inexcusable, and
too cute for your own good.
Blech!
And you smell funny!
So your answer's to
try and make us sick.
Yes, as a mouse, I can
slip in and out of any place
undetected (LAUGHS),
especially a dump
like Space Jack's with
their stupid menu options.
I believe every creature
should enjoy a diet
of glorious cheese, galaxy wide.
And you penguins turn up your
beaks at such wonderful food?
Snobs!
But we're birds, our digestive
systems
can't handle cheese.
That doesn't mean we
can't be your friends.
Friend, yes, I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.
You, can we cuddle now?
Can I just pinch those
cute little yummy faces?
Aww, I love cuddling.
Friends shmends.
I have Chubby, he's
the only friend I need.
Aww, Boo Boo, I never
knew you felt that way.
Eh, shut up, Chubby,
I'm not done.
Yes, Boo Boo.
Why would I want to befriend
you birds
when I can just as easily
destroy you?
Because friendship,
not fighting,
makes the world go round.
Which world?
Look around, pick one.
I'll be sure to bast you
right to it. (CHUCKLES)
SLUSHY: My censors indicate
this mouse
has his cannons trained
on us for a final strike.
We can neither flee nor defend
ourselves.
The only remaining options
are to await his assault, or...
Or what, Slushy?
SLUSHY: Or activate
my Run Scared option.
Oh, we have a
Run Scared option?
SLUSHY: Yes, while it
was not installed as part
of my original hardware, a
self actualizing artificial
intelligence system
that absorbs the traits
and functions of its organic
creators,
who, in turn, created
it in their own image,
will develop this option
on its own, as I have.
Whoa.
You're obviously capable
of making your own decisions,
Slushy, but before you do
anything, let me say this.
We ICE penguins don't
retreat, don't back down,
and we don't settle for
anything less than what's right.
And if there's a challenge,
we accept it.
If there's an obstacle,
we clear it.
If there's a threat,
we overcome it,
and if there's a fight, we win
it, or we go down swinging.
We've never given up in our
lives, Slushy.
And I know you haven't
been with us for that long,
but that's who we are.
We're space penguins,
going where no penguin
has gone before, upholding
peace and order in the universe.
And there's no way to predict
the future,
but I know one thing.
We penguins will leave outer
space better
than we found it.
That's a space penguin promise.
Wow, you're my hero, Zooey.
SLUSHY: And mine, too.
If my words caused you to
question my commitment,
rest assured, I'm a space
penguin, too.
How touching!
I think I'm gonna be ill.
Do you need to lie
down, Boo Boo?
Ugh, for the last time,
Chubby, shut up!
Now that you're done with
your endless self serving
bird blathering, prepare to...
Hi!
The Guardians
have joined the fight.
Sorry we're late.
Yes, the elephant
and the robot, too.
Polar bears use camouflage.
They could be anywhere!
Yay!
Yay!
SLUSHY: Positive verbal
exclamation.
Boo Boo, we're surrounded.
What?
I'm Boo Boo Squeal, nobody put's
Boo Boo Squeal in a corner.
We have no room to retreat!
Who said anything about
retreat?
Blast our way out!
SLUSHY: Flip, Zooey,
I do have one trick
up my proverbial sleeve left.
You know, you're really
picking up on the lingo, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Lingo does not
compute.
Uh, it will, give it
a light year or so.
Go for it, Slush,
we trust you.
Fire, Chubby, fire!
(CHUBBY AND BOO BOO YELLING)
They did it, Captain,
they won.
We did it, Bondo.
We stuck together like penguins
do, and defeated the enemy.
(BURPS) Excuse me.
Flop, are you okay?
(SIGHS) I think so.
Where are we?
NUKE: Way to go, penguins.
Splendid work, avians.
Now that's how you handle
bad customer service. (LAUGHS)
Wow, you guys hardly
needed us as well.
Good job, penguins.
Thank you so much for coming
to back us up, you guys.
A space penguin
did save the say,
and we'd like to introduce
you all to him now.
Everyone, meet Slushy, the
newest member
of our ICE penguin team.
SLUSHY: 'Sup, peeps?
Where in the galaxy did
you learn that, Slushy?
SLUSHY: I've been trying to
brush up on my slang, Zooey.
I'd like to be hipper,
and the hip hop stations
are really helpful.
ZOOEY AND FLIP: Whoa!
Oh, snap!
Say, is anyone hungry?
ZOOEY: I could eat.
FLIP: Me, too.
SQUEAK: Me, three.
BONDO: Me, four.
STELLA: How about we rendezvous
for dinner, space heroes?
ZOOEY: Sounds great, where
should we meet, Captain?
Space Jack's?
FLIP: Uh.
FLOP: Eh, can we
hold the cheese?
(EVERYONE LAUGHING)
SLUSHY: Word.
We're dancing in the streets
There's nothing left to eat
We're on a winning streak
Going out in style
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
What goes wild, woo
Yeah
I hear ya
I'm not dead yet, yeah I am
Yeah
Break out the hand grenades
You know it's time to play
Explosions to the brain
Going out in style
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)
Space, Flip!
One small waddle for a penguin,
one giant wing flap for
penguinkind.
I still can't believe
we're here!
We actually launched
from our home
on planet Earth's north pole
and colonized outer space.
It's utterly incredible!
Well, I do know it's
time for lunch.
Are you as hungry as I am?
Mm, lunch?
I could eat a whole penguin.
Hey, you're a penguin,
you can't eat a penguin.
(GULPS) Moving right along.
Hey, Space Jack's fly
through is half a light year
up ahead on the right.
Oh, I could go for one
of their fish sandwiches.
I'll radio the ICE ship,
see if the gang wants us
to get anything for them.
Greetings, Flip, Zooey.
How's your first dual
space expedition going?
It's going great, captain.
I think Flip and I are
gonna make a penguific pair.
Right, Flip?
All right, Zooey, just
long as we keep lots
of yummy snacks around.
I'm happy to hear that, you
two.
I had a hunch you'd make a good
team.
Hey, are you guys hungry at
all?
Zooey and I are starving,
and we're about to cruise
right by Space Jack's.
Want us to pick up some
extra fish sandwiches?
Mm, mm, Space Jack's makes
the best fast fish sandwiches
in the cosmos.
Yeah, I could swallow
them whole!
Now Flop, we'll remember
to chew this time, okay?
That sounds wonderful, Flip.
We'll take three fish
sandwiches.
And feel free to take a
break and join us for lunch
when you drop them off.
Awesome, see y'all in a few.
Y'all, where did you get y'all
between the north pole
and outer space?
My uncle Reg.
Uncle Reg?
I don't remember an uncle Reg.
He was from the
Blexus star system
and visited last Earth winter.
You were hibernating.
Lucky me.
He left me a 10 gallon
cowboy hat
and you woke up and used it
as a Slip 'N Slide, remember?
Oh, that?
I worked up some speed
on that thing.
I know, you wore out the felt
and crushed it on the first day.
I always crush it, Flip.
It's what I do, crush it!
Let's get some fish.
Thank you so much for the
fish sandwiches, Zooey, Flip.
Yeah guys, thanks a bunch.
Ah, the pungent
scent of sardines
gets my beak salivating
every time.
Hey, Flop, h-h-how
about a game
of scissors, paper, ice cubes?
You lose, I get your sandwich.
And if you lose I get yours?
No.
What kinda deal is that?
A good one from my
perspective.
Exactly, I think I'll pass.
Ah, have it your way.
If you two would like
to take a minute
to join us for lunch,
we have room.
Thanks a bunch,
Captain Stella,
but we don't want to
leave Slushy out in space.
He might get lonely, or
think he isn't welcome.
And he's super cool.
We're enjoying getting
to know him a lot.
Slushy is rad, top
of the line spacecraft.
He's a bit too literal
sometimes,
but we're working on that.
Ah, I thought Slushy was
the name of their spaceship.
It is, they upgraded to
an artificial intelligence
motherboard, so the ship talks
to them.
Get out!
It's true, they're
talking about installing AI
in this ICE ship, too!
Really?
But we already have
you on the crew,
how much artificial
intelligence do we need?
Gee, funny.
I know, right?
It was so funny I forgot to
laugh.
See?
An AI's not perfect.
Well, I'll let you
space penguins ship out,
and we'll see you at the
end of your expedition.
Space penguins!
Hip, hip!
Hooray!
Enjoy your sandwiches, and
if you need anything else
just let us know.
I love to hit the fly through.
They can probably tell
from the size of your belly.
BOTH: Ohh!
Let's go, Slushy.
The universe is our clam.
I'm starving, I can't wait
to dig into our sandwiches.
Don't they smell scrumptious?
Mmm.
(SNIFFS) Hmm, something
smells funny, actually.
Did you?
No, I do not have gas.
It was a one time thing, okay?
I already apologized.
Okay, okay, you don't
have to bite my head off.
You never let me forget
anything, you know that?
You did some damage in here,
that's all.
It wasn't that bad.
It made my eyes water.
We're penguins, our
eyes are always glassy.
Not like that!
Slushy, you're lucky you weren't
here yet, it was horrible.
SLUSHY: I am not outfitted
with aroma sensories,
therefore it's doubtful
I would have shared
in your unpleasant experience,
Zooey.
Is that your fancy
way of agreeing with me?
SLUSHY: Yes.
Okay, this conversation's
over, it's time to eat.
Slushy, activate auto pilot.
SLUSHY: Automatic
pilot activated, Flip.
Mm-mm, fresh fish sandwich
here I come!
SLUSHY: The accuracy of
your description is suspect,
seeing that the fish in
question traveled approximately
6.5 million Earth miles.
If stored in an ice and salt
mixture during transport,
it is conceivable the
fish reached Space Jack's
still in the marketplace's
definition
of quote fresh unquote.
I think I just lost my
appetite.
Slushy, I just want to enjoy
my fish sandwich right now.
Can I just do that, please?
SLUSHY: Certainly, Flip.
Thank you.
SLUSHY: Although I feel
it is my duty to inform you
that your sandwich contains
the elements carbon,
hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen,
phosphorous, and sulfur.
What does that mean, Slushy?
SLUSHY: There's
cheese on your sandwich.
Cheese?
Cheese?
SLUSHY: Yes, cheese.
But, but I specifically said
no cheese, no cheese, right?
Absolutely.
We cannot afford you
having any cheese
in this close environment
of this small ship.
We penguins are lactose
intolerant,
and you definitely have problems
with gas.
Maybe the fly through
workers just made a mistake.
Maybe we can take
the cheese off.
Slushy, is it melted or sliced?
SLUSHY: My x-rays show that
the cheese is melted, Flip.
Melted, aww, we can't even
peel it off.
All that good fish, ruined!
Blast it!
Slushy, what kind of
cheese is it?
SLUSHY: My sensors
indicate American cheese.
American, the most obvious
cheese.
This is terrible, what
are we going to eat?
SLUSHY: The underside
of the bun appears
to be salvageable.
Excuse me, do we
look like pigeons?
In all my days,
I've never had to resort
to picking at pieces of bun.
I'm not going to start now.
Ditto that, we're penguins.
Space penguins!
Elite space penguins,
intergalactic ICE penguins!
(GASPS) Flip, we need
to warn the others!
If our sandwiches have cheese,
theirs probably do, too.
Slushy, connect us to
the ICE ship right away.
SLUSHY: As you wish, Flip.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Captain Stella, don't
eat those fish sandwiches!
I'm afraid its too late, Flip.
(GASPS) Oh no!
Yeah guys,
Flop already dug in.
Blast it!
He's going to (GRUNTS)
out the other end.
(FLOP GRUNTING)
Any minute!
But we just flew out,
why did you have to eat
a sandwich so fast, Flop?
Two sandwiches.
Two?
Yeah, two.
I bet Bondo at scissors,
paper, ice cubes, and won!
I've never been so
happy to lose in my life,
let me tell ya.
What a nightmare.
Needless to say,
penguins, I passed on mine.
Smart, captain.
Alas, it begs the question,
who put cheese on our
sandwiches?
I ordered all of them with
no cheese, captain, honest!
He did, I heard him
loud and clear.
And that's no small feat.
We're penguins,
not external ear flabs.
(FLOP MOANING AND GRUNTING)
Oh you guys, I think
I'm gonna be sick.
Bondo, find a bucket for Flop.
Do not let him
vomit on the floor.
If we slip in it, we'll
never get back on our feet.
We can't right our
bodies up at all!
Too clumsy, we'll slide
in it forever.
I'm on it, captain.
(FLOP GROANING)
Flip, Zooey, I'm calling
an emergency meeting.
I want to see the both of you
at headquarters, immediately.
(FLIP GULPS)
We're on our way.
You think we're in trouble?
Trouble, what did we do?
Duh, Zooey, we delivered bad
sandwiches to the ICE ship.
SLUSHY: Correction, Flip.
The sandwiches themselves
are adequate.
They are prepared as
advertised and all ingredients
are well within their
expiration dates.
You and your species
representatives simply have
an inversion and/or intolerance
to cheese.
Thanks Slushy, but that
doesn't exactly
make me feel better.
SLUSHY: Sounds like a
personal problem.
Geez, Louise, I didn't know
they programmed you with snark.
SLUSHY: I'm not sure
who Louise is.
You may have me confused
with another artificial
intelligence unit.
I can't do this right
now, I'm stressing out.
It's gonna be fine, I think.
Let's just go see what the
captain wants to talk about.
Hopefully it's not revoking
my space flight credentials.
SLUSHY: The odds of
that are solidly 50/50.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Finally, what took
you two so long?
Our radar showed you at
two light years away,
but in the time it took,
Slushy could have
traveled four light years.
Uh, we encountered a flash
asteroid field, Captain.
Oh?
I didn't see any space
disturbances on my screens.
That's because there
weren't any, Captain.
There was no astroid field.
Flip was too nervous to
exit our ship and come in.
He hung onto his seat
for dear life,
until Slushy had no choice
but to eject him
from the airlock.
Gee, thanks Zooey,
the asteroid field story
was perfectly feasible.
Was not, Captain Stella
said herself
she didn't see it
on the screens.
They pop up by
surprise all the time.
Flash asteroid storms,
before radar
picks them up, they're gone!
Name one time
that's happened to us.
I'm gonna have an
issue with that spaceship
if he ejects me from
my seat again, Captain.
You two take a chill pill,
penguins.
And if possible,
make that an antacid.
Most importantly, who
in the galaxy put cheese
on an entire order of fish
sandwiches for penguins
who don't digest cheese?
It's all my fault, Captain.
I should have checked them
before handing them over.
Nonsense, Flip, you
shouldn't have had to.
But a spaceguin worth his
mettle leaves no rock unturned.
What happened to
Flop is my fault.
Flip, Flop's going to be fine.
He just needs a little
down time and bedrest.
And possibly a mackerel juice
cleanse.
But we were buddies, he and I.
We were each other's
first co-pilots.
Flip and Flop, the dynamo duo.
What am I, chopped liver?
With cheese on it.
(GASPS) Why, you.
Listen up you two,
there's a valuable lesson
to be learned here.
Our mistakes don't define us,
and the unexpected
happens all the time.
This whole big, wild
universe is borne of chaos,
and that chaos is always
a mere breath away.
And that's supposed
to make me feel better?
Yeah, I'm not
really feeling it.
That's okay, penguins.
Don't sweat the little stuff.
Now, we must get
down to business.
I wanna know who made
those cheese sandwiches.
We should be able to
find that easily enough.
We'll just go back and talk
to the fly through manager.
That's right, he might
even still be there.
That's a great place to start.
Report back to me when,
or if, you get answers.
There's no if, Captain,
we'll find out who did this.
And we'll bring the
scoundrel to justice.
Hold your feathers, Zooey.
For all we know, it
was all just a mistake.
That's a little too
convenient for my taste, Cap.
I think there's villainy afoot,
and we're gonna get to the
bottom of it.
Uh oh, he's in
detective mode again.
This could get interesting.
I'm counting on it.
I'll hold things down here,
and keep you updated
on Flop's condition.
In the meantime,
you penguins get answers.
Hopefully, we can ensure
this doesn't happen
to anyone else in the cosmos.
FLIP AND ZOOEY: Yes, Captain.
Cheese, eugh.
Squeak, Commander Ham Sanders.
I received a distress call from
ICE.
I'm not going anywhere near
ICE, it's bad for my joints.
Send somebody else, I need a
vacation.
No, Commander Ham
Sanders, ICE stands for
Intergalactic Confederation
Coalition.
They're intergalactic penguins!
Intergalactic penguins,
are they friends or foes?
They're friends, and
they're in need of help.
We'll help them, Captain
Ganymede.
Just a word of caution,
Squeak.
Don't let your love for
anything and everything edible
get in the way of your mission.
I won't, we're on our
way, Captain Ganymede.
Thanks for the heads up.
Great, it's high time we
get to kick some space butt.
Let's get this baby on the road.
Aye aye, Commander!
FLIP: This, this is some
pickle, Zooey.
Mm, I could go for a juicy
pickle right about now.
Oh darn, me too, I
forgot we hadn't had lunch.
Got a couple cold fish sandwiches
with cheese in the back.
Go dig in!
Ha, ha, ha.
SLUSHY: I would
recommend against it,
based on the outcome
of Flop's meal.
We know, Slushy, I
was just joking around.
SLUSHY: I see, levity.
A ha, ha, ha, ha ha, ha.
Hey, Slushy has a
sense of humor!
Kinda.
SLUSHY: Not specifically, no.
A sense of humor,
as you describe,
is intangible and greatly
depends on not only the wit
of the speaker, but the
perceptions of the listener.
I do, however,
possess situational
and self-referential
intelligence and can adapt
to the style and lingo
of the beings
with which I most engage.
Oh, I feel like I ate the
cheese.
Me, too.
Hi, space penguins!
I'm Squeak, with the
Space Guardians,
and this is my partner,
Commander Ham Sanders.
Partner, eh, try superior.
Uh, you get the idea.
We spoke with your headquarters
and heard about the fact
that you have a problem, and
we're here to offer our help.
Wow, the Space Guardians,
for real?
For real, cute flightless
space birds.
That's very cool, thanks
for the offer, guys.
Don't mention it.
Any time you find yourselves
in trouble you can't handle,
the Space Guardians
will be here.
That's good to know.
We need to find out who put
cheese on our sandwiches
that were most definitely
ordered without cheese.
Sounds like lousy
customer service to me.
It could have been anyone.
I haven't been treated
well in light years.
That's a bummer, Commander.
Well, nobody respects their
elders anymore, or authority.
I'm a decorated veteran,
you know.
They get the gist, Commander.
Respect my authority,
space gastropod,
or I'll be forced to
activate my punishing baton!
Uh, yes, Commander Ham
Sanders.
You say you received
sandwiches with cheese?
Do you think it could have been
an error,
or was it done on purpose?
I believe it was purposeful.
The cheese was melted, so
first it had to be added,
then it had to be cooked.
Hmm, melted cheese, oh.
Oh, cheese quesadilla,
cheeseburger!
What is he doing?
Maybe he likes cheese?
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay, now
then.
Exactly where did you get
these cheese sandwiches?
We got them at Space Jack's
fly through.
Space Jack's?
Hmm, do they still have those
two for one
burger bites on the menu?
Uh yeah, I think so.
Mmm.
And the fly through's
always open, correct?
Yes.
That's all I need
to hear, penguins.
We'll swing by there right
away, ask some questions,
see if we can get to the
bottom of this here dilemma,
and find a resolution here.
Thanks, Guardians!
I'm lactose intolerant, so
that sandwich could have made
me feel real bad.
And our friend, Flop, ate two!
He ate two?
Lucky bird.
He's very ill and getting
sicker by the moment,
from what we're being told.
Those contaminated sandwiches
could have done a number
on our whole fleet.
Most of us haven't eaten yet.
You haven't eaten?
You need to get some
food right away!
Flying on an empty s
tomach is dangerous.
We're working on it, Squeak.
So are we, here we go.
If we find out who did this
to you, we'll be in touch.
Absolutely.
Hey, h-how much did you
pay for the sandwiches?
It was eight space
bucks for a half dozen.
Eight space bucks,
whew, good to know.
I have 10 space bucks in
change under the console here.
I might uh, need to, you know,
place an order to
test their aptitude.
Here we go, Commander,
to Space Jack's!
I'll radio headquarters
for backup.
They don't call it a
hamburger joint for nothing.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
The Space Guardians
sure are interesting.
That's one way to put it.
SLUSHY: It sounded to
me like his motherboard
was either aging or damaged.
His system may need an upgrade.
Penguins, is everything
all right out there?
We're okay Captain,
how's Flop?
Not great.
The cheese seems
to be fogging his mind.
He's lapsed into delirium.
FLOP: The ice is thin,
thin ice, we're on thin ice!
Watch your step everyone.
Oh, no.
We're staying with
him until it passes.
We'll do everything we can.
FLOP: Waddle in a straight
line, (groans) straight line!
No penguin left behind.
(GURGLES)
Not on my watch!
We got it, Flop, we're
keeping it straight.
FLOP: One misstep
could spell disaster.
We know, buddy, we know.
Oh, this is just terrible.
Captain Stella, we'll
find whoever did this
and make sure they never do
it to any penguin ever again.
That's a promise.
Stay strong, Flop!
FLOP: Penguin strong,
strength in numbers.
Penguin army unites!
Birdspeed, penguins,
keep in touch.
That wasn't the Flop we know.
We have to do something, Flip.
We can't let this cheesing
go unpunished.
Come on, we're getting
answers right now.
Slushy, warp speed!
SLUSHY: Where should
I warp to, Flip?
Space Jack's fly through,
pronto!
(ROCK MUSIC)
We're glad we caught you
before your shift ended,
Captain Paul.
You're in charge of all Space
Jack operations, correct?
I am.
Who prepares the orders,
Captain?
I do, we're a small team and
I'm a very hooves on manager.
Captain Paul,
do you remember us
and our order from earlier?
No, we see a lot of
customers here at Space Jack's.
Well, do you by chance
recall an order for a bag
of fish sandwiches, then?
Uh yeah, yeah, I believe so.
And what do you
recall of this order?
I'm sorry?
Can you detail for us the
particulars of this order?
Eh, uh, well I think so.
Six fish sandwiches,
tartar sauce on the side,
and no cheese.
Is that right?
I have no further
questions for this witness.
I do, you're telling us you
prepared this order yourself,
Captain Paul, with no
assistance from anyone else?
As far as I can recall,
yes, no.
Which is it, yes, or no?
Uh, um, uh.
Answer the question!
Calm down, Flip.
I, uh, I, I, I...
Come on, come on, spit it out.
Yes, I made the sandwiches,
no, nobody else helped me.
Aha, I knew it!
This giraffe's as guilty
as his neck is long.
Am I in some sort of trouble?
Ohh, you have no
idea, pal, no idea.
I really don't.
Did I do something wrong?
Ah, "did I do something
wrong," he asks.
Were they not cooked
enough, or something?
I can remake them if there's...
The prosecution
rests its case.
The prosecution,
what's this all about?
It's about the cheese,
Captain Paul.
The cheese?
I didn't use cheese.
Lies!
I'm no lying, the order
called for no cheese.
And yet, you put it on anyway.
Monster!
I didn't!
You're going down for this,
big boy.
Hang up that Space Jack's apron.
Captain, the sandwiches
in question
contained melted cheese
when we unwrapped them.
Oh, what?
(MUMBLES) That's impossible!
In our line of work, Paul,
the impossible has a funny way
of becoming possible
all the time.
Listen guys, I know I
didn't mess up that order.
I'm a penguin, and
I'm lactose intolerant.
Had I eaten that sandwich,
I could have perished.
I, uh, I'm so sorry.
It's too late for sorry, punk.
Could you please
calm him down?
Feeling the heat, huh?
Get used to it.
I assure you, I'm as interested
in getting to the bottom
of this as you are.
That's what they all
say, but I won't stop
until you melt like
that cheese, perp.
All right, th-th-this is
crazy.
Trying to plead insanity, aye?
Nice try, but it won't work.
Let me give you the benefit
of the doubt, Captain.
Which is more than you'll
get from me, stretch.
Let's get down to brass tacks.
Oh come on, you two aren't
even police.
Bingo, creep,
we're ICE penguins,
the most elite birds in space.
Or on Earth, for that matter,
which is where we're from.
And Earth creatures
don't fool around, buddy.
That's right, we have
reality TV and cop shows.
We can spot a liar a mile
away.
Listen to me, both of you.
I promise I will do
whatever I can to help you
find out how cheese got
onto your sandwiches.
And one thing I'm sure of
is that it did not happen
by my hoof, you have
my word on that.
Hmm, I believe you.
Yeah, whaddaya think, we
were born yesterday, chump?
Uh, wait, you believe him?
Yes, I do.
Captain Paul, can you keep your
eyes and ears open at work,
and let us know if you see
or hear anything suspicious?
Absolutely.
If there's a saboteur on our
team,
I'd like to weed them
out just as badly as you.
Space Jack's good
name depends on it.
Words, it's your actions
that tell the tale, pal.
Right, can I go now?
You'll go when we say
you can go, fly boy.
Yes, we're done for now,
Captain.
Yeah, scram.
I'll contact you immediately
if I note anything strange.
You do that, or else.
Thanks for taking
the time to talk to us.
We'll be in touch.
Are you done acting like a
lunatic?
What, I was playing hardball.
You were playing bad TV
detective.
It's all part of the schtick,
Zooey.
You're the good cop,
I'm the bad cop.
We smother him until he has
no excuses, nowhere to turn,
and in the spotlight of truth,
his lies crumble to ash under
the heat of a thousand suns!
Sometimes I wonder about you.
SLUSHY: You aren't
the only one.
Who's next?
Let's grill somebody else,
it's fun.
Why don't we brief
Captain Stella on things,
and see how Flop's doing?
Good idea, then we'll
snag another suspect.
Oh boy, are you sure you
didn't eat
one of those tainted
sandwiches after all?
Good job getting answers
from the manager, you two.
Anyone we can rule out at
this stage only helps us
narrow it down to the real
culprit faster.
Yeah, slowly closing in,
like the righteous jaws
of an inescapable vise.
Is he okay?
He's just eager to
solve this thing, Captain.
Oh, I'm relieved.
I thought he ate some of
that tainted fish sandwich.
Naw, it's just Flip being
Flip.
How's Flop doing?
He's, uh, er, not great.
Hey Flop, how ya feeling,
partner?
(SLOBBERING) Keep your voice
down.
I saw polar bears,
they're everywhere.
They blend in with
the snow storm,
we won't see until they're on
top of us.
Ohh.
Oh.
I have someone who might
be able to help us, penguins.
An old colleague in the
Galloping Galaxy
who might be interested in
helping us.
Let me call him.
Great, you guys lead
him real easy,
then I'll come over the
top like a sledgehammer
and lower the boom.
Settle down, Flip.
Justice doesn't flinch, Zooey.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Hello again, Snout, long time
now see.
Wow, yeah.
You look good, Stella, yeah.
Are those your kids?
Uh, no, these penguins
work for me, Snout.
So, no hatchlings?
Maybe some day.
I've been focused on my
career, I'm an ICE captain now.
A captain? (CHUCKLES)
Well excuse me!
Hey, you know mating
season's about to start
in my neck of the stars?
How about a vacation in
the Galloping Galaxy?
(SIGHS) You've been inviting
me for light years, Snout.
And you've been avoiding an
answer
for just as long, Stella.
I'm going to avoid it
a little while longer,
if that's okay.
I'm calling to ask
for your help.
I'm all ears, and nose,
and hooves.
Good to know, Snout, here's
the beef.
Recently, my team ordered food
that was spiked with cheese.
(GASPS) No, who did that?
That's just it, we don't know.
But one of my penguins seems
to have lost his compass,
and the rest of my team
narrowly avoided catastrophe.
Unconscionable, an
attack on you penguins
is an attack on the entire
universe.
I like your thinking, Mr.
Snout.
I mean, who's more peaceful an
animal
than us penguins, right?
Right, and these cheese
dealers have been exploiting
my relatives for as long as
these planets
have been spinning in space.
That's why we've come to you,
Snout.
I figure if it's a cheese
criminal we're after,
you're the best eye in the sky
around.
I'll help you any way
I can, Captain Stella.
I know everything and
anything about dairy products,
anywhere in this galaxy.
And if we can ground another
cheese dealer, all the better.
I like this bull.
Aw, thanks little fella.
Snout, do you know of
any recent cheese attacks
that might link to ours?
Unfortunately,
or fortunately, I don't.
Do you still have the cheese?
Yes.
Great, you can have
it analyzed by experts
to reveal where the
cheese came from.
Dairy forensics, wow.
Eh, pretty much all cheese
is specific to its region,
and the animals who
help create it.
Through identifying its
properties,
as well as any foreign
contaminants,
you can possibly glean where it
came from.
That's sharp, Mr. Snout,
we'll get right on it.
Thank you, Snout,
that's an excellent idea.
I had a feeling you were
the bull to talk to.
Anytime, Captain, and I
like your new title. (LAUGHS)
It really suits you.
I've worked hard for it.
Oh, yeah?
You should come to the Galloping
Galaxy and relax sometime.
Ha, nice try.
(CHUCKLES) I always
have to try.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Flip, Zooey, I'd like
you to talk
to that Space Jack's
manager again,
and find out who supplies
the restaurant's cheese.
We're on it, Captain.
We'll contact him right away.
You'll never see that
manager again.
I beg your pardon, Flop?
The polar bears took him.
His lips are forever sealed.
He's not doing well.
We'll find out who did this
you, Flop,
or my name is not Flip.
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Thank you for talking
with us again, Captain Paul.
Yeah, if you didn't, it
would look real suspicious,
and you don't wanna
look suspicious, do you?
Captain, can you tell us who
supplies Super Jack's cheese?
Sure, I order from a manufacturer
beyond the slip stream.
They're called BBS Cheese
Company.
What does BBS stand for?
Uhh, I don't know.
Don't know, or don't
wanna say?
Off the top of my head,
I really don't know.
Off the top of your head,
that some kinda giraffe joke?
I'm not joking, I really don't
remember.
I'm sure it's on their
paperwork, I can look it up.
So you can alert them, aye?
I think not.
Keep your hooves where
I can see them.
All right, look, I want
to help, I really do,
but I think you've
flipped your flippers.
Any more questioning, you
can contact my lawyer,
Debbie Longneck, Esquire.
But Captain!
I'm sorry, I have to go now.
Great, that's just great.
Look at what your endless
haranguing did, Flip.
What, we got the name
of the cheese company.
And we lost our closest
contact to Space Jack's.
Space Jack's, Shmace
Jack's, that giraffe knew more
than he let on.
He was playing dumb,
taking us for suckers.
What am I gonna do with you?
We could go fishing
on planet Freezy.
SLUSHY: If I may interrupt,
we have an ally on planet
Freezy.
We do?
We do?
SLUSHY: Affirmative.
Who?
SLUSHY: One moment
while I access
my planetary
surveillance system.
We have planetary
surveillance?
SLUSHY: Of course, I'm
what you call a smart ship.
My cameras and microphones
are always active
up to five light years.
Whoa, big brother much?
SLUSHY: I have a visual
of our residential ally.
Show us, Slushy.
FLIP: It's Lumpy!
Wow, nobody's seen him
since that crab cage accident
back home on planet Earth.
I thought he was
a goner for sure.
I knew that crafty
bird was alive,
and if he's the same
Lumpy I remember,
he'll have some insight
into our cheese attack.
Slushy, warp speed
to planet Freezy.
We have an old friend
to catch up with.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
(LAID BACK MUSIC)
It's so good to see you
again, Captain Stella.
What blows ICE this way?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, always great
to see
you cutie patooties penguins.
Likewise.
Nuke, B-52, the ICE penguins
need help.
They do?
Yeah, it's a long story.
It's a stretchy cheese story.
Cheese gives me rashes,
(GRUMBLES) bad.
I have some sandwiches
here that need to be tested.
When I thought of experts,
I thought of you, B-52,
the brain, and Nuke, the, uh,
food addict?
I'm all about food, Captain
Stella, peanuts especially.
But also linguine, lasagna,
pizza, pasta.
Teleport those sandwiches over
to us,
we'll get right on it.
Will do, and I only need
the melted cheese tested.
Melted cheese?
Since when did you
guys eat cheese?
That's just it, Nuke, we
don't.
A couple of my penguins went
to Space Jack's fly through,
and someone put cheese
on all our sandwiches.
(GASPS) No!
Oh, dear, those savages.
They really should
be more careful
who they hire at those places.
It makes me thankful
I don't imbibe
organic dietary supplements.
I'm thankful too (CHUCKLES).
It always means more
peanuts for me!
(B-54 GROANS IN DISGUST)
Okay, I've sent the
sandwiches, guys.
They should be in your teleport
chamber in three, two...
One, received and analyzing,
Captain.
Hmm, uh, oh, ehh, eh, well...
Is everything all right?
Do you see anything unusual?
Just a, just one, one, just
one moment.
Right, there we are.
Hmm, very interesting.
I'm all ears.
Correction,
Nuke here is all ears.
Ha ha, very funny.
Stella, my proprietal
breakdown of that cheese
reveals the presence of
cow and goat milk protein,
sheep and buffalo
milk fat, and uh,
(MUTTERS) mouse DNA.
Mouse DNA, but how?
It could mean something
as simple as a stray mouse
getting into the curdling
cheese for a little sample.
While not particularly
appetizing, it is understandable.
I see.
Can you tell me where the
cheese was manufactured, B-52?
Uh, uh, trace amounts of soil,
and iron, oak, and uh, oh!
What is it, what do you see?
Titanium alloy.
(GASPS) Titanium alloy?
That means...
This cheese was
manufactured in deep space.
There it is, Zooey, planet
Freezy.
I can't wait, I've only seen
pictures of planet Freezy.
It looks super fun though, for a
penguin.
Right, I bet Lumpy's
having the time of his life.
SLUSHY: There is the
distinct possibility
that your friend is lonely.
My surveillance shows
no other penguin species
on the planet.
Lumpy, lonely, ha!
You don't know Lumpy,
tell him, Zooey.
Lumpy doesn't like to
be around other creatures,
especially his own kind.
He prefers to be left alone.
That's how he got caught up
in that crab cage
snafu awhile back.
He thought taking to the high
seas
would get him some solitude.
But he only made enemies
of the commercial fishermen out
there.
SLUSHY: If I may
ask, how did your friend
run afoul of commercial
fishermen?
He beaned them in
their heads with fish
anytime they showed
their faces on deck.
SLUSHY: I see.
He's not the most social
penguin you'll ever meet.
Hey, think he'll remember us?
It's been awhile.
Dunno, if not, we
might be in for trouble.
Maybe we should wear helmets.
Not a bad idea.
Slushy, do we have any
protective headgear on board?
SLUSHY: Regrettably, no.
Perhaps you should remain in the
cockpit
and engage this penguin
through our two way screens.
Nah, I'm not afraid of Lumpy.
Once he sees who we are,
everything will be fine.
What about before
he sees who we are?
Well, he might throw
something at Slushy.
SLUSHY: My goodness, shall
I activate our force fields?
We have force fields, too?
Who trained you?
You got training?
Unbelievable.
Hang on, we're
about to touch down.
(RELAXING MUSIC)
Brr, sure is cold down here.
Makes me miss our comfy, cozy
outer space.
It is called planet Freezy,
Flip, what did you expect?
Oh I don't know, a hot
chocolate stand
or three would be nice.
ZOOEY: But you're a
penguin, for birds' sake.
Space life has made you soft.
FLIP: Whatever, six month's
in Slushy's climate control
made me see how
rough we had it before.
Rough, you don't know
what rough is, fluff ball.
Huh, you got a feather in
your throat or something?
Not me, him.
FLIP: Lumpy!
What have we here,
couple of softies?
Lumpy, it's us, Flip and
Zooey.
Mmm, from the insurance
investigator's office?
(LUMPY SPUTTERS)
I knew Burton wouldn't last.
He wore snow shoes,
for cryin' out loud.
(CHUCKLES) The wimp.
No, Lumpy, we're with
the ICE penguins.
Your old team, remember?
(GRUNTS) A new company, huh?
Well, you'll fail just
like the rest,
'cause there's nothing to find.
For the last time, I
didn't burn down no igloo.
Do I look like I wanna
warm things up around here?
You look like the Lumpy we
remember.
You look good.
They let quails investigate
insurance fraud now, huh?
What, who's a quail?
I'm a penguin, just like you.
Yeah, tell me another
one, Miss Partridge.
I was just about to go ice
fishing,
so if you don't have anything
important to discuss,
kindly step aside.
But Lumpy, we do have
something important to discuss.
Oh yeah?
'Cause just like those
goofs who came before you,
you look like you don't stray
too far
from your brochure
talking points.
Listen up, penguin.
We're your friends
from planet Earth.
You deep sea dove with us
off the coast of Antarctica,
you led us in a
choreographed display
for 50,000 king penguins oh
Paulet Island,
you single handedly toppled
the emperor in Iceland.
I remember that, he was
preening and I pantsed him.
(LAUGHS) He fell right over!
That was funny.
So you do remember us?
You, no, all you penguins look
the same.
That's one reason I had
to get away from you,
and find myself.
Pack animals, blech!
But you remember the
event Zooey mentioned,
so you know we were there.
Can you just take our
word for it and play ball?
Play ball, eh, seals play
ball, squirt.
It's a figure of speech, I
just...
Lumpy, you may not
remember him, or care,
but Bondo's doing very
well for himself.
He's second in command,
and will probably
be ICE captain one day.
Bondo, my brother?
The one and only.
Second in command, that's
incredible!
The last time I saw Bondo
he was doing belly flops
on beached whales, (LAUGHS) and
filming it for the internet!
He's come a long way.
Hey, uh, is the
internet still a thing?
Yeah, it's still a thing,
Lumpy.
I've been outta the
loop for awhile, I guess.
You can say that again.
Why would I repeat myself?
Are your ears waterlogged?
No, it's another figure of
speech.
I think we've proven
ourselves, Lumpy.
So let me cut to the chase.
Cheese, you must be crazy.
Lactose is too hard for birds to
digest,
(GRUNTS) especially quails.
(ZOOEY GRUNTS)
I can't speak for quails,
Lumpy, but...
Well, you've got one
standing right next to you.
Eh, my point is, the
cheese wasn't supposed to be
on our sandwiches.
It was added on purpose,
by someone who deliberately
disregarded our order.
Swines!
You think space pigs are
behind it?
Listen to me, all of you.
I recently received a package
addressed directly to me.
All the way out here?
Planet Freezy has mail
service?
We have one little alien
who delivers once a week.
I feel bad for him, but he
really should toughen up
or find other work, you know?
Anyway, my point is, I received
a package
with no return address.
I expected it to be the
new virtual reality headset
I ordered from iPay, but it
wasn't.
What was it?
It was a brick of cheese.
Three tons of it!
Three tons?
I don't know, I never learned
weights or measurements.
It was a lot!
Enough to put me two feet
under, if I'd eaten it.
Two feet, that's a shallow
grave.
Again, I'm not real
clear on measurements,
but as a rule, you don't
need to be buried very deep
on planet Freezy.
The ground is frozen
solid like year round.
Did you ever find who
sent the cheese, Lumpy?
No, I have no idea, but
one thing's for certain.
It was a declaration of
war, plain and simple.
War, but everyone
loses in a war.
Who in the universe would
want to start a galactic war?
That's the question to ask,
squirt.
Who would want war?
Answer that and you'll
likely have your culprit.
Are you sure it wasn't just a
bad gift?
Giving a bird cheese is
akin to finding a wrapped fish
on your doorstep, or a horse
taking a nap in your bed.
It's a message!
And it means nothing good.
Egads!
Could you glean any clues
at all from that package?
Any hints where it came from?
Familiar handwriting?
Uh, that handwriting
was chicken scratch.
A chicken, that makes sense!
Chickens have always
hated us penguins.
They're just bitter because
they're always on the menu.
Quail's a delicacy
on some planets.
Sucks to be quail then.
Why don't you go find one
and tell them about it?
Listen, I think we need
to find ourselves a chicken
and ask some hard questions.
I agree.
Does that mean you're leaving?
Yeah.
Thank goodness.
I know I'm a charming
and fascinating animal,
but I really don't like company.
I just wanna be left alone,
does that make sense?
Perfect sense, thanks
for the info, Lumpy.
We'll tell Bondo you said hi.
Oh no, don't do that.
He might try to contact me
or, or, or worse yet, visit!
Let's just forget this
whole thing ever happened.
If that's the way you want it.
It is.
Now, beat it!
We're going, we're going!
And don't come back.
Don't worry, we won't.
Good riddance!
ZOOEY: Bah!
Same old Lumpy.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
Well, that was interesting.
You can say that again.
What, are your ears
waterlogged?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
SLUSHY: I'm reading sarcasm
in your vocal delivery,
but have no reference
point from which
to properly decipher it.
Correcto mundo, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Filing correcto mundo
in my data banks for
analyzation.
Go for it, buddy.
How's everybody holding up,
Captain?
Flip, Zooey, I'm afraid
Flop is not doing too well.
He's losing his grip on space
reality.
Carnivores, they're
everywhere!
Keep your heads down, penguins.
Okay, okay, Flop,
I'm staying low.
Captain, get down.
Right. (SIGHS)
Polar bears are the
largest meat eaters around,
and us penguins are
second only to the seals
when it comes to being
plump and tasty.
Got it, Flop, we'll
do what you say, buddy.
I don't know about you,
I don't plan to fall prey to
these beasts.
Good idea, Flop, we'll
just stick together
and get through this.
That's what penguins
do, we stick together.
We're a team!
A well oiled machine, an
army, strength in numbers.
(STELLA SIGHS)
We must find the culprit
for Flop's delirium.
Hey, planet Squawkis
is just up ahead.
Maybe we should stop by.
Its chicken population is
exploding.
Good idea,
take us down, Slushy.
SLUSHY: I respectfully advise
against
a ground landing, Zooey.
There appears to be no
area free from droppings.
Unless you're unconcerned with
slogging through bird dung.
Ohh.
Well, since you
put it like that,
just breach their atmosphere
and find us a chicken
who's willing to talk.
SLUSHY: That's a
much better idea.
Descending and scanning
the available populous now.
I bet there's no
chicken on the menus here.
Right, hopefully they
don't have penguin kebabs.
Yikes!
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
Hey look, here we go.
Girl talk, I'll handle this.
Greetings, miss.
We come in peace.
I'm not miss, I'm Meg.
A dozen for six space bucks,
or two dozen for 10 space bucks.
Excuse me?
Eggs, you want a dozen or two?
Oh, we're not here for eggs.
We just have some
questions for you,
if you have a moment.
Uh, three space
bucks for one question.
Add a space buck for
each additional question.
What, that's highway robbery!
We don't have highways here.
There are no vehicles, we
walk or fly short distances.
SLUSHY: Hence the
abundance of ground excrement.
How many space bucks do we
have left?
Uh, three, we spent
almost everything we had
on those blasted sandwiches.
Okay, that'll buy us one
question for this chicken.
We have to make it count.
SLUSHY: My self aware AI
can tally all possible queries
and potential responses and
choose the most pertinent
option from this list, if
you direct me to do so.
Go for it my, uh, machine.
(HIGH PITCHED DIGITAL BEEPS)
SLUSHY: Meg, can you direct
us to any being you know
to be involved in an
intergalactic
underground cheese market?
Not personally, no.
But my friend Tony deals
with a shady cheese man
who's usually up to no good.
Great, where can we find Tony?
That'll be one space buck.
SLUSHY: Meg, since
Tony's name is useless to us
without his location, do
you think you could provide
that crucial missing
detail free of charge?
Free of charge?
Well I never!
SLUSHY: Pretty please?
Oh, okay.
Tony lives on planet Hoppis.
Oh, and he's a bunny rabbit.
Thank you so much, Meg.
You've been a tremendous help.
Ah, you can drop three space
bucks whenever you're ready.
SLUSHY: Releasing
payment now.
Shall I proceed to planet
Hoppis?
Hit it, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Hit what?
Ugh, nevermind.
Proceed to planet Hoppis.
SLUSHY: Proceeding.
(SHIP ZOOMS)
Here we are.
Whoa, planet Hoppis is
overgrown.
We shoulda brought a weed
wacker.
Slushy, we can't see through
all the weeds, can you?
Yes, Flip.
My x-ray vision can
detect fine movements
up to five light years.
(CHUCKLES) This guy.
Let us know if you spot
anyone who might be our Tony.
SLUSHY: With all due respect,
Zooey,
I have a better idea.
Oh, okay.
SLUSHY: Attention,
Tony the rabbit.
This is the intergalactic
ICE defender ship, Slushy.
Come out with your paws up.
Whoa.
(GRUMBLES) I'm cool, I'm cool.
Relax Tony, we just
wanna ask some questions.
Yeah, you can lower your paws.
Whew, I was afraid you
guys were space police.
We're ICE.
Sorry our ship came
on kinda strong.
His AI gets carried away
sometimes.
SLUSHY: Please accept
my apologies, Tony.
Wow, that's one
polite space ship.
SLUSHY: Thank you.
My formal manners are assembled
from exceptional programming
content estimated beyond that
of the average 28 year old
human.
Really, Slushy?
You should teach English
classes or something.
SLUSHY: I do teach
etiquette classes
the first Sunday of every
technovia calendar month.
Cool.
Tony, we understand
you have a contact
in the cheese underworld.
I got lots of contacts,
you'll have to be more specific.
A chicken named Meg
told us your buddies
with a cheese man, so to speak.
I might know a cheese man.
(LAUGHS)
I like cheese, so I gotta make
sure I get mine, you know?
Planet Hoppis doesn't exactly
have a booming cheese trade.
We understand, Tony, and
we're definitely not looking
to hurt your cheese connections.
But someone attempted
to poison our fleet
with melted cheese on our
sandwiches,
and we're trying to find out who
it was.
And stop them from doing it
to other unsuspecting creatures.
Someone served cheese
to a bunch of penguins?
That's messed up.
Tell me about it, our
colleague, Flop,
ate two whole sandwiches,
and he's still feeling
the effects.
Bummer.
Where'd you get the cheese?
Funny, we were going to
ask you the same thing.
Well, I'll tell you what.
You can meet my cheese
man if I can have the rest
of your cheesy sandwiches.
FLIP AND ZOOEY: Deal.
Right on!
SLUSHY: I feel the need
to point out that said cheese
has been sitting at spacecraft
temperature
for longer than the recommended
unrefrigerated period.
That's fine by me, officer.
I have a grill, microwave,
pepper, and sea salt.
I'll spruce 'em up like new.
SLUSHY: That sounds
like adequate preparation.
Delivering the remaining
sandwiches now.
Mmm, mmm.
I'm gonna add relish and
they're gonna be delish!
Nice, now let's talk about
meeting that cheese man.
So this rabbit, Tony,
set up a meeting
between us and his
cheese connection.
FLIP: Who's name
we don't know.
But who Tony assures
us will show up.
To offer us some cheese.
And you believe this
will be the same cheese
we found on our fish sandwiches?
We think so, we think so.
We hope so.
What if it's not?
We'll at least be able to
dock another cheese merchant.
Right, we need to get this
dangerous cheese off space.
Cheese is not illegal in
space, Captain.
Well, it should be.
Cheese causes flatulence
and upset stomach in birds.
If it causes flatulence,
Flip and Zooey should be able
to smell this cheese man
coming a light year away.
Gross!
Either way, this is
our best and only lead.
You two have done a great job.
Don't forget about Slushy,
he came up big with the chicken.
The chicken?
Long story.
You know who would
have helped us a ton
if he were still here?
Lumpy.
Boy, he sure would have.
Yeah, well. (MOANS)
Maybe he'll show
back up one day.
Yeah.
Probably not.
Definitely not.
Hey, you never know.
All right, it's time to show
the galaxy
why we're the elite
birds of space.
Time to fly, ICE penguins.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Flip, Zooey, you take
Slushy to the meeting.
We'll be following at a
distance.
Our Space Guardian friends
will be on standby,
in case the cheese man runs.
The deck is stacked, now we
just have to play our hands.
We're ready, Captain.
Let's do this!
Yeah!
(FLOP CHUCKLES)
When we get to Nebula 10,
Slushy,
let's redirect eastward.
Since their sun's to the west,
I don't want us to go warp
speeding
into it if things get crazy.
SLUSHY: Duly noted, Zooey.
Slushy, have you ever
apprehended a perp before?
SLUSHY: Perp, eh, I'm not
familiar with your terminology.
Have you ever
caught a bad guy?
SLUSHY: Considering
that a committed bad
is entirely relative to a
performed good,
I cannot say for certain.
I hate it when he gets
literal.
Me, too.
SLUSHY: I don't mean to
stoke the fires of your hatred,
but my radars have detected
a foreign ship approaching
at warp speed,
directly from the north.
Warp speed from the north?
Who warp speeds straight down?
Someone setting a...
SLUSHY: Trap!
(LASERS BLASTING)
Whoa, we're hit!
We're under attack!
SLUSHY: Force fields
activated.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Our penguins are being
attacked, we have to save them!
Space Guardians, come in.
We're on our way,
Captain Stella.
Without a doubt, that's
the worst customer service
I've ever seen in my life.
Ready the cannons,
Commander, we're going in.
Who runs a flight
crew like this?
Madness!
Bondo, warp speed intercept.
Put us between Slushy
and the attacker.
Our thrusters are down,
Captain.
What do you mean,
our thrusters are down?
I disabled the engines
'cause they made so much noise
they were gonna wake
the polar bears.
Flop, no!
We can't help Flip and Zooey.
(LASERS BLASTING)
SLUSHY: Western force
fields have been damaged,
eastern force fields are down.
Can we withstand
this attack, Slushy?
Where's our backup?
Hang tight, penguins,
we're on our way.
Please, hurry!
Why is he attacking us?
We were just supposed to try
some cheese.
SLUSHY: It's very likely
that informant rabbit
tipped him off, as they say.
Fishsticks, you can't trust
anyone
in the space underbelly.
SLUSHY: Duh!
Did he just duh me?
Nuke, B-52, our penguins
are under assault,
and our ship is disabled.
I need all backup
to move in at once.
We're on our way, Captain.
Don't worry, we'll
save your carbon bases.
Hurry, B-52.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Did you fire back, Zooey?
No, I thought you did.
SLUSHY: I did, I am
autonomous
in my self defense capabilities.
Well then, fire away, Slushy.
(INTENSE MUSIC)
Oh no, Commander Ham Sanders,
look, we know that ship!
We do, indeed, Private Squeak.
It's uh, uh, uh the mail ship.
What, uh no, look closer,
Commander.
Right, oh, it's, uh,
it's the ice cream ship.
What do you care about ice
cream?
Exactly, blast it down.
Ready the cannons, we'll
show them rocky road!
Hang tight, Commander,
we're joining the fight.
That's the warrior
spirit, Private, charge!
How we doing, Slushy?
Considering we are still in
one piece,
I'd say we're doing well.
(EXPLOSION BOOMS)
That sounded bad.
What was that?
SLUSHY: I regret to
inform you that we are
no longer in one piece.
That's bad.
SLUSHY: Technically, yes,
quite bad.
(LASERS BLASTING)
Slushy, Slushy?
Why did we stop firing?
SLUSHY: My cannons
have been damaged
beyond repair, Zooey,
as have my boosters,
thrusters, and reserve tanks.
I'm sorry to report we are
disabled.
We're sitting ducks, we're
gonna...
No, Flip, don't talk like
that.
We're penguins, ICE
penguins, the space elite.
We never surrender, we
never say that one word.
What word?
You know, that word.
No, I, which?
Never say that!
Cheese?
SLUSHY: I believe the missing
word Zooey alludes to is...
(BOO BOO SQUEAL LAUGHS
MANIACALLY)
Who is that?
I am Boo Boo Squeal, penguin,
leader of the dreaded Micecide,
the most feared and revered
mouse in the entire galaxy.
I've never heard of you.
Have you heard of him?
Uh-uh.
What'd you say
your name was, again?
It's Boo Boo, ugh, enough.
You can call me victor, and
to the victor go the spoils.
Good thing your penguins
are in your formal wear,
because you're about to
meet your maker. (LAUGHS)
Oh, that's a good one.
(CHUCKLES)
Why thank you, bird.
Oh, penguin, oh, gosh, I love
penguins!
They're squishy, fluffy,
adorable penguins.
Must we hurt them, Boo Boo?
They're so, (MUMBLES) cute!
Yes, you silly pachyderm, we
must.
I hate penguins, and I
especially ICE penguins.
So you're the cheese man?
Indeed I am.
A mouse, that makes sense.
And was it you who
spiked our sandwiches?
Yes, (LAUGHS) it was me.
But why?
Why not?
You penguins act
like you own space.
You fly around with no
regard for any creature
that doesn't belong
to your clique.
You're penguins, you're
not even supposed to fly.
You're just like you were
on Earth, interminable,
insufferable, inexcusable, and
too cute for your own good.
Blech!
And you smell funny!
So your answer's to
try and make us sick.
Yes, as a mouse, I can
slip in and out of any place
undetected (LAUGHS),
especially a dump
like Space Jack's with
their stupid menu options.
I believe every creature
should enjoy a diet
of glorious cheese, galaxy wide.
And you penguins turn up your
beaks at such wonderful food?
Snobs!
But we're birds, our digestive
systems
can't handle cheese.
That doesn't mean we
can't be your friends.
Friend, yes, I wanna, I wanna,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.
You, can we cuddle now?
Can I just pinch those
cute little yummy faces?
Aww, I love cuddling.
Friends shmends.
I have Chubby, he's
the only friend I need.
Aww, Boo Boo, I never
knew you felt that way.
Eh, shut up, Chubby,
I'm not done.
Yes, Boo Boo.
Why would I want to befriend
you birds
when I can just as easily
destroy you?
Because friendship,
not fighting,
makes the world go round.
Which world?
Look around, pick one.
I'll be sure to bast you
right to it. (CHUCKLES)
SLUSHY: My censors indicate
this mouse
has his cannons trained
on us for a final strike.
We can neither flee nor defend
ourselves.
The only remaining options
are to await his assault, or...
Or what, Slushy?
SLUSHY: Or activate
my Run Scared option.
Oh, we have a
Run Scared option?
SLUSHY: Yes, while it
was not installed as part
of my original hardware, a
self actualizing artificial
intelligence system
that absorbs the traits
and functions of its organic
creators,
who, in turn, created
it in their own image,
will develop this option
on its own, as I have.
Whoa.
You're obviously capable
of making your own decisions,
Slushy, but before you do
anything, let me say this.
We ICE penguins don't
retreat, don't back down,
and we don't settle for
anything less than what's right.
And if there's a challenge,
we accept it.
If there's an obstacle,
we clear it.
If there's a threat,
we overcome it,
and if there's a fight, we win
it, or we go down swinging.
We've never given up in our
lives, Slushy.
And I know you haven't
been with us for that long,
but that's who we are.
We're space penguins,
going where no penguin
has gone before, upholding
peace and order in the universe.
And there's no way to predict
the future,
but I know one thing.
We penguins will leave outer
space better
than we found it.
That's a space penguin promise.
Wow, you're my hero, Zooey.
SLUSHY: And mine, too.
If my words caused you to
question my commitment,
rest assured, I'm a space
penguin, too.
How touching!
I think I'm gonna be ill.
Do you need to lie
down, Boo Boo?
Ugh, for the last time,
Chubby, shut up!
Now that you're done with
your endless self serving
bird blathering, prepare to...
Hi!
The Guardians
have joined the fight.
Sorry we're late.
Yes, the elephant
and the robot, too.
Polar bears use camouflage.
They could be anywhere!
Yay!
Yay!
SLUSHY: Positive verbal
exclamation.
Boo Boo, we're surrounded.
What?
I'm Boo Boo Squeal, nobody put's
Boo Boo Squeal in a corner.
We have no room to retreat!
Who said anything about
retreat?
Blast our way out!
SLUSHY: Flip, Zooey,
I do have one trick
up my proverbial sleeve left.
You know, you're really
picking up on the lingo, Slushy.
SLUSHY: Lingo does not
compute.
Uh, it will, give it
a light year or so.
Go for it, Slush,
we trust you.
Fire, Chubby, fire!
(CHUBBY AND BOO BOO YELLING)
They did it, Captain,
they won.
We did it, Bondo.
We stuck together like penguins
do, and defeated the enemy.
(BURPS) Excuse me.
Flop, are you okay?
(SIGHS) I think so.
Where are we?
NUKE: Way to go, penguins.
Splendid work, avians.
Now that's how you handle
bad customer service. (LAUGHS)
Wow, you guys hardly
needed us as well.
Good job, penguins.
Thank you so much for coming
to back us up, you guys.
A space penguin
did save the say,
and we'd like to introduce
you all to him now.
Everyone, meet Slushy, the
newest member
of our ICE penguin team.
SLUSHY: 'Sup, peeps?
Where in the galaxy did
you learn that, Slushy?
SLUSHY: I've been trying to
brush up on my slang, Zooey.
I'd like to be hipper,
and the hip hop stations
are really helpful.
ZOOEY AND FLIP: Whoa!
Oh, snap!
Say, is anyone hungry?
ZOOEY: I could eat.
FLIP: Me, too.
SQUEAK: Me, three.
BONDO: Me, four.
STELLA: How about we rendezvous
for dinner, space heroes?
ZOOEY: Sounds great, where
should we meet, Captain?
Space Jack's?
FLIP: Uh.
FLOP: Eh, can we
hold the cheese?
(EVERYONE LAUGHING)
SLUSHY: Word.
We're dancing in the streets
There's nothing left to eat
We're on a winning streak
Going out in style
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
What goes wild, woo
Yeah
I hear ya
I'm not dead yet, yeah I am
Yeah
Break out the hand grenades
You know it's time to play
Explosions to the brain
Going out in style
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh
Whoa oh, oh, oh oh oh