Penny Gold (1973) Movie Script
Poor little darling.
Come on!
Roger!
Anna, we got a job.
You'll need a couple
of stitches in that.
It will hold for now. Come around
to my surgery later. - Okay, Doc.
Can I sign it?
While you're at it Doc, give
him a pint of castor-oil.
Come on Tarzan. We're on call.
- What's up? Anna's at the bar.
I know. Some lunatic has
killed a girl in Windsor.
Oh a Sunday?
- Yeah. Most inconsiderate.
Come on, put a knot in it. Let's go.
That psychopath theory. That's stupid.
Why is that?
I mean .. what psychopath .. expertly ..
Takes to pieces a double
combination wall safe?
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You could be right, Guv.
I see.
So you went upstairs from the boutique.
What time was it?
Ten-thirty I think.
- Precisely ten-thirty?
Well, I guess ..
I can't remember exactly.
- Where was the body?
On the floor.
- Where on the floor?
Just on the floor by the door.
- Face up or face down?
Face up.
Why did you go upstairs
in the first place?
I told you .. she didn't come down.
Why should she? It was Sunday.
We were doing the inventory that day.
Ah .. you were doing the inventory.
So you went upstairs .. into the studio.
Discovered the body .. and then
you saw the safe door was open.
Yes.
- That worried you?
Well uh ..
Miss Emerson may have
left it open herself.
I thought maybe there
had been a robbery.
You stepped over the bloody, smashed-in
head, to see how much the shop had lost?
No, no. I .. well .. yes.
Yes .. but the Police Inspector that ..
Mr and Mrs Hiram Hobbs,
Riverhead, Nebraska, USA.
Your parents?
When did you leave the States?
Last July.
- When, last July?
The 17th .. I think it .. yes it
was the 17th .. I remember.
Where did you go first?
- Spain. Torremolinos.
And then I went to Davos.
- Who?
It's a trendy village in the Alps.
And then I came to London.
Alright Miss Hobbs. Thank you.
Uh .. did you like working for
Miss Emerson, Miss Hobbs?
Yes, she was great.
- Uhuh.
Get your alien registration fixed
will you. It's two weeks overdue.
Yes.
I think we'd better check
her alibi again, Roger.
I already have. She's clean.
Who's next?
Here we are: "Blachford, Charles Henry."
"Westminster School, King's
College Cambridge" etc.
"White's Club. Royal Philatelic Society,
World War Two Naval Intelligence."
"Distinguished Service
Medal. 1963 Honours list."
"MBE."
- Quite a lad, eh?
He's done alright for himself.
If I hadn't devoted my life to public
service, I could have had all this.
If you hadn't have been a public servant
I'd have had you in a cell years ago.
You go on, and I'll turn the car round.
Hello.
Come in.
Who are you looking for?
- A Mister Charles Blachford.
You supposed me to be
the gardener, I take it?
Not any more, sir.
Detective Chief Inspector Mathews.
What have you come about?
Poor Diane, of course.
Usual routine, sir. We just need to get
a few facts. Get a picture of her life.
I can't see how that can possibly help.
Well, it's conceivable sir, that whoever
murdered her .. knew her habits.
I see .. well, Diane was my
step-daughter. You know that.
Her father was killed in
Korea when she was five.
I married her mother two years later.
The marriage didn't
last long, I'm afraid.
My wife was killed within
the year .. car crash.
So I raised the twins myself.
With the help of Mrs Parsons.
She's my local housekeeper.
Diane's sister?
Delphi?
- An identical twin I believe.
Mr Mathews, Delphi has to be left out
of this. Left out of this completely.
Can you tell me where I'll find her?
Where she lives or works?
I don't think I made myself clear.
I'm not investigating a parking offence.
Your step-daughter was murdered.
Yes, I am aware of that. It's just
that Delphi .. has been very upset.
I know, I'm sorry. We will not bother
her unduly. We're not the Gestapo.
No .. no, indeed.
Delphi .. lives in London, and
works with me here in Windsor.
We're in philately.
- Stamps.
Rare stamps.
We deal usually with other collectors.
We don't sell direct to the public.
Delphi was with me on the
night that it happened.
Anyone else?
Pardon?
- With you?
A few friends actually.
We had dinner here.
Mr Mathews, am I to take it that Delphi
and myself have to produce an alibi?
What time did they leave?
- Late.
But Delphi had to
stay on here the night.
Mr Mathews, I would be obliged if you
stop this unattractive line of inquiry.
I'm sorry sir. May I offer you
my most sincere condolences.
I want you to know that the Police
are at your disposal at any time.
Do call us if you want us.
Thank you for your help. Good day, sir.
- Good day.
Charles, I've brought you some tea.
- Thanks.
Who was it?
- Police.
What did they want?
- I don't quite know.
He asked a few trivial questions. The
answers to which, he certainly knew.
Harry, if you'd have
taken even half a look ..
You would have seen a blur on the
lower right side of the watermark.
The real Ten Mark does not have that.
It does have a break in two
of the left side perforations.
What?
Wait a minute.
Where the devil did you
get this from anyway?
Don't be ridiculous! If you didn't
notice that you need your eyes examined.
I'd say they'd been around ..
No more than a year.
Oh come off it, Harry.
You know jolly well ..
Harry .. all the stamp world knows
about Weishardt's forgeries.
Alright, alright .. apology accepted.
Yes .. of course we'll
talk about it later.
Goodbye .. yes Harry .. yes.
Goodbye .. what kind of
idiot does he take me for?
Put that away Delphi.
I still can't believe it.
Charles.
What's the matter?
- Just over-tired.
I'll call Doctor Merrick.
I'd like to kill this crook.
Tried to palm a forgery on me.
I'll kill him.
Well, you're alright this
time, Charles .. just.
If you weren't so damned contrary,
I'd put you in hospital.
Don't say you haven't been warned.
- Yak, yak, yak.
Yak, yak yourself! I told you at
the funeral, to take a few days off.
So you go to the office.
Did you ever think of her?
Delphi loses her sister one week. Could
have a very ill step-father the next.
Now, who's going to stay with him?
- I told you, I'm perfectly alright.
And don't give me any of that poppycock
about wanting to be alone by yourself ..
In your baronial morgue.
You can't get "living-in" help.
You stay there my boy, and have company
for the next ten days, and like it.
I'll be staying of course.
- Miss Emerson ..
That's alright Mrs Parsons.
- Well, that's settled. Alright.
Lights out .. you two
come along with me.
None of your tricks.
Goodnight Charles.
Will you be staying for dinner, Doctor?
- Why not? Even Doctors have to eat.
I'll see to dinner Mrs Parsons,
you get along home.
Thank you very much Miss Emerson.
Goodnight .. goodnight Doctor.
Let him work that one
out. Yak, yak, yak.
Whiskey?
- And water, please.
Keep him in that study, Delphi.
No stairs.
No office, for a month.
He can have a short walk tomorrow.
He can potter about in that ridiculous
greenhouse of his over the weekend.
Can you cope?
- Of course.
Saves on petrol for a while.
Doctor Merrick, how seriously ill is he?
Well, his sort of heart. It's
serious and not serious.
If he does as he's told, and takes
his pills when he's supposed to ..
A shot if it's urgent.
He could last as long as me or even ..
Any news of Diane?
No.
The bitch.
- Doctor Merrick.
Couldn't even die properly.
She wasn't raped.
You know, that head-basher wasn't blind.
The madman who killed Diane
Emerson was as sane as you are.
Oh, thanks a bunch.
- You're welcome.
You can forget the coffee.
- Why? What's up?
The barmaid across the road. The
one who said she saw somebody?
Fix an I.D. parade for her.
Give it up Matt. It's was a
simple burglary and assault.
That's what you think.
- And the coroner, and everybody else.
Eight hundred pounds
missing isn't burglary.
Well, it ain't arson.
Thank you Madam. If you would just
wait outside for a moment please.
Okay Dave, move them out.
You great twit.
Friends and relatives.
- Come again?
Back to friends and relatives.
Oh Matt, they've all been checked
a dozen times. They're clean.
I've heard that one before. So have you.
- One jet-set girl less.
In a month we'll have six other
cases more important. And solved.
Forget it .. who cares?
- I care.
What?
I care who killed Diane Emerson.
Morning.
Oh, it's Mr Mathews, isn't it?
- Morning. Mathews.
Do you want to talk in here?
Well look, it's one o'clock.
There is a lot to talk about.
Perhaps we could have lunch?
I'll check my handcuffs, badge
and whistle here if you like.
And I've been working since seven
o'clock this morning. I'm hungry.
Alright.
"Oh no, Diane and I
weren't really alike at all."
"We were supposed to be because
we were identical, but we weren't."
"When we finished school,
we both worked in the office."
"It wasn't much fun."
"She'd always had a violent
temper and we lost a few clients."
"It just didn't work out."
"So Charles helped us
put up a boutique."
"She had a terrific flair for clothes.
She just couldn't miss."
"I often used to spend
the evenings with her."
"But we came to see less of each other.
We began to lead different lives."
"It was strange at first, because
we'd always been together."
"Charles could never tell us apart."
"Nor Mrs Parsons, our housekeeper
who'd looked after us for years."
"As children we were always dressed
alike, and had the same books and toys."
"And played the same games.
But we were different even then."
"And we knew it."
"Diane used to do some
things that were inexplicable."
"Hurtful things."
"Things one could almost
never forgive her for."
May we talk about stamps for a moment?
Stamps?
I'm interested in Charles
Blachford's Penny-Gold.
How much do you know about it already?
Well, it was one of those freaks that
happen occasionally in the stamp world.
The Queen Victoria
jubilee series of 1887.
No Penny Stamp was ever planned.
As there was still millions
of the 1883 .. I think.
81 .. Lilac stamp still
available .. by error.
A first run of a Threepenny-Gold
was overprinted by a figure "1".
Making it worth a penny after all.
I must say, you have done your homework.
But you're quite right, the error was
found in the plates of the Penny-Gold.
Which were destroyed, with some of the
stamps that had already been printed.
And then they found that a sheet or two
were missing, and there was a scandal.
Scotland Yard recovered all but two.
And it's taken Charles Blachford
most of his life to track them down.
One was destroyed by
bombing during the war.
Hmm .. and?
Well I'm interested in what
happened to the other one.
It's owned by a dealer called
"Van Der Meij" in Amsterdam.
Why didn't Blachford get it from him?
We hadn't anything to swap.
Nothing to exchange.
Money wouldn't buy the Penny-Gold.
Meaning .. it's priceless?
- Uhuh.
Well, if it was up to me,
I'd sell it and retire.
You don't understand
collectors, Mr Mathews.
The only thing Van Der Meij wants in
his life is a stamp called the "Geneva".
Geneva?
Now if you'll excuse me.
I must get back to the office.
The cheque, eh? Waiter,
can I have the bill please?
Thank you very much.
What did you have for lunch?
- Salad? I don't know.
A classy joint like that
and you can't remember?
She's a good-looker though,
isn't she? I'll give her that.
Intelligent?
Yeah .. yes, intelligent.
Where do you reckon
she fits? Top or bottom?
Top or bottom of what?
- The suspect list.
She is under suspicion of murder,
isn't she? Amongst other things.
Yes, she's under suspicion of murder,
with all the other people. Now belt up.
Suit yourself governor.
Have it your way.
You know .. I feel interested
in her sister's boyfriend.
He's too smooth for comfort, that one.
His alibi stands up. He was at
a fashion show in Brighton.
Was he? Too plausible for my liking.
I'll have another look at him tomorrow.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
And cut .. that was good.
Thank you very much.
Hello Inspector .. sorry
to keep you waiting but ..
Twenty pounds an hour each ..
Drink?
- Thanks. Scotch.
So how can I help you? The night that ..
On the weekend it happened,
I was in Brighton.
We know that.
So, I suppose you want
a line on her friends?
Who she liked, didn't like ..
- Something like that.
How long did you live with her?
About ..
A little more than a year, I expect.
- How did you meet?
I knew Delphi.
And I got them mixed up one day.
I was shopping.
"They were as alike as two peas."
"I got the wrong one."
"Then we became very good friends.
And I gave up my own pad."
"For there was really no
point in keeping two."
"People said she was temperamental."
"Sheer hell was more like it."
"I can remember things that would
make your hair stand on end, but .."
"Well .. with someone
like her, you didn't care."
"The other side of her?"
"Well, she had more
working for her per day."
"Than most people had working
for them in a whole lifetime."
"Finally Mr Grancorte, what
sort of girl is your sister?"
"Delphi? Alright I guess."
"What more can I say about her."
"She collects stamps.
You know what I mean?"
Good morning Jack.
- Good morning, Miss.
Morning.
- Morning.
How is he today?
- Much better, I think.
He slept quite well last night.
Did the Police get in touch with you?
For three hours yesterday morning,
they were running around in circles.
No. I mean last night.
Last night?
The Police?
- Yes.
What is it now?
They wanted to speak to Charles and I
said they'd better speak to you first.
And, in the meantime, nothing doing.
- Quite right. Nothing doing.
Same young man, was it?
- Yes.
Somebody should explain to
him the difference between ..
"Investigation" and "infatuation".
What?
- Hmm.
Well, I'd better see how he is.
It feels like Spring.
Large or small coffee?
Large or small?
- Large or small what?
Coffee!
- Oh.
Small black.
Good evening.
- Huh?
Tell me something.
- Not now, Anna.
No, Matthew. I'm serious. What is it
about this one that fascinates you?
The sister in the case. It looks
like Matthew is in love with her.
You can't be serious, can you Roger. Eh?
Get back to your "collage"
or whatever it is.
What are you making anyway?
You!
- Ooh.
I hate people telling me how to think.
- Who?
I don't know. Whoever killed her.
What do you mean,
telling you how to think?
Well, it's all happening
exactly the way they wanted.
I mean, no clues, no witnesses,
no informers, no motives, no nothing.
Just us Policemen thrashing about.
I like it when Policemen
are thrashing about.
You will be delirious to hear love-boat,
that headquarters have decided ..
That whoever killed Diane is the same
person that killed that model in Paris.
So?
So, the French Police have nailed him.
Out of our province, into theirs.
Case closed.
They think.
Oh yes, dear boy. Go forth to seek.
The quarry never found, was still
a fever for the questing heart.
If one supposes .. that both we
and the French are wrong.
You notice I did say, "if" Matthew?
If we are wrong, then it is odd.
People like her don't often
get themselves murdered.
Suicide usually. What's the
boyfriend's name? Grancorte?
"Claude" sir, would you
believe .. Claude Grancorte.
Claude .. Claude Grancorte.
Professional lady's man.
Well, you do realize Matthew that ..
With this particular lady ..
He stood everything to gain if the lady
had lived, and nothing if she died.
Come .. let's walk.
There is a twin sister? Am I right?
- Yes, sir.
And a stepfather?
- Yes. His name is Charles Blachford.
Blachford? Blachford? Ah, yes.
A decent chap. I met him once or twice.
- Did you?
As a matter of fact, we
were at the same college.
Not at the same time of course.
I mean, he's middle-aged.
He made a great deal of money out of ..
Collecting little pieces
of coloured paper.
Stamps.
Strange .. strange.
Identical twins, weren't they?
- They were sir, yes.
Identical, but chalk and cheese.
Yes, I remember now.
Well, there we are my dear Mathews.
Boyfriend, no motive.
Twin sister, no motive.
Stepfather, no motive.
Shop assistant, no motive.
- Hmm.
But ..
One murderer locked up in France
for a precisely similar crime.
Proved to be in England at the
time of the Emerson tragedy.
And one Chief Detective Inspector ..
Running behind the backs
of his immediate superiors ..
For me.
And simply because he
thinks he smells a rat.
Don't you, sir?
Jolly good.
We'll have to make a formal request
to your Headquarters. You know that?
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
- Just a formality.
In murk and mire, we all conspire.
- I beg your pardon, sir?
It's a most hypnotic cesspool
we Policemen inhabit. - Oh.
If there is anything you need ..
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
A most hypnotic cesspit
that we Police inhabit.
I beg your pardon?
I said it's the most "hypnotic
cesspit" that we Policemen inhabit.
Wake me up if the station burns down.
To smash somebody 27
times across the face.
With a heavy, blunt instrument.
Come on, Matt ..
It's straight robbery with
violence. Let's put it to bed.
Don't be stupid! Let's start again.
What the hell are you doing here?
Look, I thought we agreed ..
Well, I'm out of cigarettes.
- You should've gone across the street.
Oh, loosen up.
Somebody .. anybody.
Look, do you have any or not?
- "Do you have any or not?"
Oh drop dead.
I don't like the man they've got on this
case. He's got a nasty suspicious mind.
Are you listening?
- Uhuh.
What's the matter, Claude?
Got a guilty conscience?
I hate to be a drag.
The reason I got you out here is I ..
To check up on one or two
of your sister's boyfriends.
Go ahead.
I wonder if .. you'd know
any of .. this little lot?
Wing Commander Richard Chernow ..
Anthony Harper .. Terence Cooper.
I know him, he's a nasty piece of work.
George Taylor, Lord Insworth.
I wonder how she sobered him up.
Patrick Robert O'Brien
Curtis. What about him?
Diane had many conquests, and I can't
imagine any of them murdering anybody.
What about you? About your boyfriends?
- What about them?
Are you implying that I've a lover who's
induced me to murder? Or vice versa?
Well I .. I just wondered.
I wondered if there was a good-looking
man in the stamp business somewhere.
You should know .. you've done
enough checking up on me.
"Yes, Sir Robert?"
- I'll see the Police Officer now.
Inspector Henson, Sir Robert.
Sir.
Well officer .. what is it
you would like to know?
I'll get straight to the point.
It's about Mr Charles Blachford.
He is your client. Am I correct?
- Yes.
I presume then, that you assisted
him in drawing up a will?
Yes, I think so.
I'd like to look at it please.
Do you have a Court-Order, young man?
No, sir.
Extraordinary.
Does your Superintendent know
of this .. unusual impertinence?
No sir.
- I see.
Well, good day then. I'm sorry.
- Look, sir.
Let me put it this way.
There was a party just
outside Henley last autumn.
We had two men at it.
It was a quiet affair.
Certain people were observed to be in
possession of a substance .. cannabis.
I see.
"Yes, Sir Robert?"
- Would you please send in ..
Charles Blachford's file.
"Very well, sir Robert."
Charles .. Charles.
Presumably, it is extremely important.
I can't find the fur mitts
I left in my wardrobe.
In the trunk room.
A guest couldn't find room in
the wardrobe to hang a neck-tie.
Or even themselves.
Where are you off to?
A bit of skiing. And then stamp
auctions on the continent.
Ah, the annual safari, eh?
Well, unless you think I shouldn't?
Oh he's alright.
- I could get Mrs Parsons to sleep in.
Over my dead body.
- Not necessary.
He'll be back at the office on Monday.
If he behaves himself. - Ha!
Where is the guillotine?
Claude!
Did I frighten you?
What the hell are you doing here?
- I'm not bashing up innocent dolls.
Get out!
- Shush ..
I've come to have a talk.
There are other places to talk.
- Sure, knee-deep in stamp collectors.
Look. I don't see that we have
anything to say to each other.
Who is he?
None of your business.
And he's nothing to do with
my not wanting to see you.
I never loved her .. Delphi.
Of course you didn't .. you never
loved anyone but yourself.
No.
Love .. there was always you.
I don't know what happened.
I don't really understand it myself.
Now, listen .. she was a
bitch. Perhaps it was that.
I was .. planning to leave her.
Then someone came along
and saved you the effort.
Delphi.
You .. and me?
No, Claude.
You don't interest me anymore.
Now please ..
I have to go to Torquay this weekend.
Come with me.
- No.
Sea .. open beaches.
Old-fashioned Victorian hotels.
They used to blow your mind.
- No.
Won't or can't?
- Can't and won't!
It's auction time, remember.
Yes, goddamn stamps ..
Is Charles going?
- No.
Oh .. aprs ski?
Delphi's found herself a snow-buddy.
- Get out!
When you get back .. call me.
Dear Lord ..
Use some bread.
- It's alright for you, you sadist.
Is the Will any use?
Hmm .. she's left a thousand
pounds to Diane.
The same to Mrs Parsons.
Delphi gets all the rest, the house, the
stamp business, and the Penny-Gold.
A good motive.
A great motive .. except the
wrong sister got knocked off.
I got the same strong-arming Sir Robert.
For a more auspicious occasion.
What's so fascinating?
Today's brief. What's up?
The late Diane took trips abroad to
buy clothes for her boutique.
So?
Well Paris, yes. Rome, yes.
Madrid .. maybe.
Who buys clothes in Amsterdam?
- Amsterdam?
Dutch people. She made a trip there?
Yeah.
Anna.
- Yes?
Do you buy clothes in Amsterdam?
- Clothes? Of course not.
What does Amsterdam mean to you then?
Canals, diamonds ..
- And?
Stamps.
- Tulips.
Bicycles.
- Stamps!
Stamps, right.
- Who is right?
He's right. The boy is right. Stamps.
- Stamps.
Stamps?
You are certain that
there is no mistake?
You are certain that it is not Delphi?
Well, we checked on Delphi
that weekend, Mr Van Der Meij.
It was definitely Diane. Exactly
two weeks before she was killed.
Does Delphi know?
- Not yet.
Oh my God .. this is awful.
She came here, Diane .. if you say so.
Quite unexpectedly.
We'd been out to lunch and she
suddenly said "I've got your Geneva."
I mean .. just like that.
She knew of course that I
couldn't resist it and I ..
Really thought she was
Delphi .. I really did.
This Geneva stamp.
Have you been after it long?
- For years.
Like Charles Blachford
and the Penny-Gold.
Are you sure the one you
have got is not a forgery?
No, no. We put it through
the usual tests.
How do you think she got hold of it?
- I don't know.
I mean we were good friends.
There are some things you don't ask.
So you swapped?
The Penny-Gold that Charles
Blachford wanted all his life ..
For the Geneva that you
wanted all your life.
We swapped.
Hello?
Well, hello. Why didn't you wake me?
Well, have I time to do some
shopping before the plane?
It would be better if you waited for me
Delphi. I will be over in a few minutes.
Something very serious has happened. You
may not feel we should go to St Moritz.
Now, let's get this
straight, Miss Hartridge.
You went over to the safe.
Took out your .. Geneva stamp ..
And put it on the table like that.
- That's right, yes.
Then Miss Emerson made her swap offer.
Which was two of the "Goddess Juno"
set that you'd always wanted.
Plus a block of four 1863
Victorian halfpennies.
You refused.
Picked up your Geneva
and put it back in the safe.
Will you tell me what this is all about?
- Is that the same stamp?
What do you mean?
- That was there before.
Yes, of course.
No, this is Swiss. You
put down a French one.
That's right. I switched them.
There's the French one.
This is forged! The rotten bitch.
Oh well.
What a cow. Listen,
I want that stamp back.
We'll do the best we can.
- I should bloody well hope so.
Matt.
- What's happened?
Blachford.
These were found lying in the water.
They'll be a connection
of course, dear boy.
A definite connection
between the two crimes.
No sir .. I think we'll find that this
death will have been accidental.
"It is the conclusion of
this Coroner's Court .."
"No evidence having been
submitted to the contrary."
"That Blachford's death was due
to accident or misadventure."
"The presence of a gun and a torch at
the scene of his unfortunate demise .."
"Surely indicates he was disturbed by
someone prowling outside the house."
"After arming himself,
Charles Blachford gave chase."
"Then either he encountered
this prowler."
"And was pushed into the
lake or he fell accidentally."
"In any event."
"Medical evidence indicates a
major heart attack was followed .."
"Immediately by drowning."
I want to talk to you.
- So?
Diane stole the Penny-Gold
and I know you have it.
Well, I want it back .. for
Van Der Meij in Amsterdam.
I'm still up at Charles's house sorting
out his private papers and things.
Try and get some rest Mrs Parsons.
- Rest?
Hello.
I won't take up much of your time.
I'm sure you don't want to bothered
with Police at a time like this.
I know about it already.
Know about what?
- The Penny-Gold.
How did she get that Geneva
that Van Der Meij wanted?
Well she .. she switched a forged
one on the woman who owned it.
Helen Hartridge?
- Hmm.
That's amazing.
Anyway, I didn't come
about the Penny-Gold.
Remember that last Monday ..
I forgot to make a note of your
hotels in St Moritz and Amsterdam.
Yes. Because I didn't give them to you.
Is there any reason why I should?
Yes, your stepfather.
I need to establish an alibi.
Alibi?
You mean, prove I was
somewhere .. when he died?
Well surely you don't think
his death was accidental?
The Coroner said ..?
What I don't understand, is why
he didn't use the telephone.
To call Merrick .. or Mrs Parsons ..
Anybody.
It works.
Time me.
- Okay.
Go!
Twenty seconds.
- He could have done it.
Nothing here .. battery leads and
distributor haven't been touched.
Spare set in the glove compartment.
All they had to do was take both
sets and .. put them back later.
Are these the pills you prescribed
for Blachford, Doctor?
Yes, that's them.
- I see.
Two .. four .. six ..
Do you mind having the courtesy
to tell me what this is all about?
Would you mind counting, Doctor?
How many?
- Eighteen.
Thirty-sex.
- That's fifty-four.
How many originally?
- A hundred.
Take two .. three times .. a day.
When did he start taking them?
Eight days before he died.
Well, if my arithmetic is right ..
There is two extra.
Perhaps he missed taking
them on the night he died?
Perhaps he didn't get around to it.
Perhaps he couldn't.
Perhaps somebody deliberately removed
the bottle, and put him into a panic.
And put it back later.
It's a thought.
- Nasty.
I was in Henley as a matter of fact.
I went there by bicycle.
I had a gin and ginger in
the Crosskeys Hotel.
Pubs close at eleven.
Well, it's a long ride back from Henley.
Right?
- No. Sorry.
You did say that .. any
information I gave you ..
Would be regarded with the
greatest confidence, didn't you?
Of course.
Don't you dare smile.
But I'm not as young as
I was, or as pretty but ..
Many a decent man looks for more than
just a pretty face in his lady friend.
Me for one, Mrs Parsons.
So .. who was the lucky man?
Yes .. I think so .. Mr Grancorte.
"Claude Grancorte". Room 109.
Double or single?
- There was a lady with him, yes.
Did you get here name?
- Sorry, she didn't register.
What did she look like?
- Well ..
Tall or short?
- Well .. average.
Blond or brunette?
Blond .. a lovely figure.
Any luck?
- Nah ..
His car was involved in minor accident
last Saturday. About 9 o'clock at night.
Locals have the full report.
- Are you surprised?
Doesn't miss a trick, does he.
He's got an Achilles
heel like the rest of us.
Where?
Women.
Claude, will you please hurry?
I'm choking. You know I don't smoke.
What the hell is the matter with camera?
The shutter is jammed.
Did that help?
- No.
What's got into you today?
Oh my God ..
Miss America.
Claude .. I've got a problem.
- You've got ..?
Shut up!
What's the matter?
- Get rid of her.
Well .. she's useful.
- Was.
Mathews is sitting in your car.
Here, you!
Look!
Sorry. Didn't see you there.
- And what do you want?
Nice car.
Look, if it's the name of the girl I
had with me in Torquay, she's upstairs.
No, I've got a name thank you.
There is just one or two little
things I'd like to clarify ..
If I could have a little of your time.
Shortly before Blachford's death ..
You drove out to his country home.
Now we know that to be true, because one
or two of the villagers saw you there.
I went to see Delphi .. a family matter.
Did you see anybody else
there at the same time?
No .. I never fancied Charles
Blachford. Now if you don't mind ..
Now, listen you ..
There is a telephone upstairs
attached to a very long wire.
At the other end is
a rather efficient MP.
He doesn't like Policemen, either.
BEA flight 614 to Nice. Leaving London
5:25 pm September the 3rd two years ago.
Tickets issued to you
and Delphi Emerson.
And a reservation at the
Majestic Hotel in Cannes.
A double room with bathtub.
It struck me that if you had switched
from one sister to the other before ..
Maybe you were considering
switching back again?
Well, try again.
She's already spoken for.
What do you mean?
Well, well .. there is something
the Police don't know.
Don't give me the run-around sonny-boy!
Who's she involved with?
In fact, she went skiing with him
the weekend her stepfather died.
I said "who?"
See ..
Run along upstairs now, Chummy.
There's a good boy.
Van Der Meij, it was Van Der Meij.
Where did our Claude go to?
Down in Torquay with a
model friend, we're told.
And we still see Emerson,
with Peter Van Der Meij.
A most attractive young woman,
Miss Emerson. - Yes.
My service I think.
Shop assistant?
Tina .. in her bedsitter.
Apparently keeping the neighbours awake
half the night with those .. cassettes.
Cheers, sir.
- Cheers, dear boy.
I needed that.
Who is lying?
Which of the four do we want?
Or which two in which combination?
Claude and Delphi?
Delphi and Van Der Meij?
Or Van Der Meij and Claude?
Add the little shop assistant and
double the permutations.
Now we know the motive
is stamps. One stamp.
A Threepenny Victoria overprinted with
the number "1" to make it a penny.
Now that penny is worth a fortune.
There is something
right there, dear boy.
Why don't you start again?
Strip all alibis to the bare bones.
Don't trust anybody.
Especially a beautiful woman.
Come on Roger, do you mind?
- What a dump.
We can't play Madam Hobbs much.
Alright .. so, you saw her come in?
And where were you?
- In my room.
I told you.
I said "good evening, love". She said ..
I see. So, she came in
and .. shut the door.
Well, that's what I said, didn't I?
You saw her shut the door, did you?
- Yeah!
Well, I didn't exactly see her.
Get it together you little creep. Did
you see her shut the door or didn't you?
I heard her.
- You heard her!
I hear her every night.
- I see.
You heard her from outside,
maybe? Like this, eh?
You dimwit. Why didn't you tell us
this when we first talked to you?
Well ..
Ah .. I heard her because she
turned on the tape recorder.
I see. What happened when it stopped?
- Well, I watched the box.
It was a match. It was Chelsea and ..
So it did stop, did it?
What happened then?
Well, uh .. well, uh ..
- Think!
Well, it was after the match was over.
Right.
Let's go .. you too.
- Come on.
How long does that tape run?
- One like hers? About 45 minutes.
So it takes about 45 minutes
to drive down to Blachford's.
The tape runs, then it stops.
She was there ten minutes.
Then she drives back.
That's an hour and a half. Long enough
for Chelsea to win their match.
She turns the tape on and this
twit doesn't notice .. you twit!
That's our bird there, isn't it?
Yeah?
Well, what the devil happened?
She died, it's in the evening papers.
They've been looking for you everywhere.
Right .. in an hour.
Delphi? .. Claude.
The Penny-Gold .. I want to talk to you.
And now .. the finished masterpiece.
Pray silence. A little bit of hush.
Voil!
It's me.
- Yes.
How did you guess?
- Because you told me it was me.
Roger.
What's the matter?
- What you just said.
What?
Anna said she knew your masterpiece
was her because you told her it was.
So?
Delphi Emerson and her stepfather ..
Identified the corpse as Diane Emerson
because they were told it was her!
Go on. I'm with you.
Help yourself to a drink.
Alright, Claude.
And don't tell me that you haven't
got it .. I've seen Van Der Meij.
If .. I do have it.
And if .. I did give it back?
What would be my chances afterwards?
You really are abysmally
jaded, aren't you.
No .. repentant.
Meaning you wouldn't know where
to get rid of the stamp alone.
Except on the black market.
And they wouldn't give you enough to
offset the risk of being informed on.
Claude!
- Hold her!
Claude!
No!
Claude .. what do you want?
You can have the stamp!
Hold her head!
- No .. no!
Cut it out!
- She bit me.
Take her clothes off.
And don't forget that Tina's
passport is in my bag in the car.
Oh .. that's better.
Well .. goodbye Diane.
You mean Delphi, don't you?
- No.
I mean Diane.
I'm Delphi now.
And don't you forget it.
Alright.
All set?
- Not quite.
Why, what is it?
Oh ..
- Hello.
May I?
Mr Mathews, I'm very tired.
Just five minutes Miss Emerson.
That's all it will take.
Well, I'm not on my own.
- We're aware of that.
Mr Mathews wants to see me
for a moment. Was it private?
No. I don't think so.
A drink Mr Mathews?
- No, thank you.
Miss Emerson, I want you to
drive up to town with me.
I beg your pardon?
- To London.
I want you to drive there with me
tonight. Stay in your own apartment.
London?
Whatever for?
- As a precaution.
Well, I don't understand.
- It's for your own personal safety.
Mr Mathews, I really don't
think you're being reasonable.
Delphi's stepfather has just died.
- Don't interrupt.
It's your sister.
We think she .. we think
she may still be alive.
No.
Alive? Now look here.
If this is a joke ..
- No, it's no joke.
Have you checked on Tina Hobbs lately?
Tina?
- Found out who she really is?
What the hell are you getting at?
Well .. according to the
American Embassy ..
Miss Hobbs lost her passport .. and went
back to Nebraska .. on a re-issued one.
Twelve months ago.
So, our Tina must be somebody
else, mustn't she.
I see .. Diane dressed up as Tina.
Mr Mathews, you forget that
I identified Diane myself.
You identified what?
You identified half a face.
A bloody, smashed-in mess.
Did you see all of her?
Did you see a body?
Presumably the same as your
own .. did you see her legs?
Charles Blachford was
there. I hardly think ..
Shut up!
The Inspector that was present
will tell you that I didn't ..
I see.
So, you assumed.
You weren't certain.
I see .. a brunette.
The same colouring .. the same size.
As your sister.
Wearing your sister's house-coat.
It's so much easier to assume,
than being certain, isn't it.
Well, if it's correct.
I mean, who was it?
It wasn't Tina. She went ..
- I don't know, I don't. You tell me.
And the body was cremated, wasn't it?
No exhumation.
No dental check.
But I can guess.
Some poor drop-out.
Somebody nobody will miss.
Lonely.
In a pub.
"Hello pretty lady."
"Would you like to come back to my nice,
apartment? Have a big juicy steak?"
"Relax .. a nice hot shower."
"Have a joint or two?"
- Very well.
Miss Nobody is murdered.
Everyone thinks that she is Diane.
And meanwhile, Diane is alive
and pretending to be Tina.
The next thing you'll tell me
is that she killed Charles.
Really Mr Mathews .. for what purpose?
- You said it yourself.
A Penny-Gold .. they are priceless.
Penny-Gold?
Get rid of herself and
her stepfather in public.
And get rid of you in private.
Then she could do a thing that she could
not do with you and Blachford alive.
Pose as you, and sell the Penny-Gold.
But uh .. I blocked that one when
I went to see Van Der Meij.
Nobody can sell that stamp now.
Because I've attached a
Fraud-and-Forgery charge to it.
An interesting theory.
But for one, small thing.
My sister is dead.
- Your sister is alive!
And still after you.
And she's wanted on suspicion of
two murders and a manslaughter.
So she needs somewhere
very safe to hide.
And that place is .. you.
Goodnight.
Mr Grancorte will see you out.
Don't bother.
I'll need a bit of help.
Claude.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing .. I could do with a drink.
Better make that three.
I could use one myself.
Okay Fred, they're here now. You
can fish that trunk out of the lake.
Remember, the statue inside is valuable.
Get it back where it belongs.
Come on, darling.
And you.
Forget it, Chummy.
I hope you two will be very happy.
Delphi, what's happened?
- Look again, Doctor.
My God almighty.
Alright, get rid of them.
Alright my dear, we'll
have you right in no time.
Chloroform is it?
I'll fill you in with
the gory details later.
0h.
Off to hospital then, I think.
For a closer look.
Alright.
Doctor.
Want to look at this charmer's face
before you go up to the hospital?
Not particularly. What happened to him?
He uh .. tripped over a trunk.
(Ros)
Come on!
Roger!
Anna, we got a job.
You'll need a couple
of stitches in that.
It will hold for now. Come around
to my surgery later. - Okay, Doc.
Can I sign it?
While you're at it Doc, give
him a pint of castor-oil.
Come on Tarzan. We're on call.
- What's up? Anna's at the bar.
I know. Some lunatic has
killed a girl in Windsor.
Oh a Sunday?
- Yeah. Most inconsiderate.
Come on, put a knot in it. Let's go.
That psychopath theory. That's stupid.
Why is that?
I mean .. what psychopath .. expertly ..
Takes to pieces a double
combination wall safe?
I mean, that's ridiculous.
You could be right, Guv.
I see.
So you went upstairs from the boutique.
What time was it?
Ten-thirty I think.
- Precisely ten-thirty?
Well, I guess ..
I can't remember exactly.
- Where was the body?
On the floor.
- Where on the floor?
Just on the floor by the door.
- Face up or face down?
Face up.
Why did you go upstairs
in the first place?
I told you .. she didn't come down.
Why should she? It was Sunday.
We were doing the inventory that day.
Ah .. you were doing the inventory.
So you went upstairs .. into the studio.
Discovered the body .. and then
you saw the safe door was open.
Yes.
- That worried you?
Well uh ..
Miss Emerson may have
left it open herself.
I thought maybe there
had been a robbery.
You stepped over the bloody, smashed-in
head, to see how much the shop had lost?
No, no. I .. well .. yes.
Yes .. but the Police Inspector that ..
Mr and Mrs Hiram Hobbs,
Riverhead, Nebraska, USA.
Your parents?
When did you leave the States?
Last July.
- When, last July?
The 17th .. I think it .. yes it
was the 17th .. I remember.
Where did you go first?
- Spain. Torremolinos.
And then I went to Davos.
- Who?
It's a trendy village in the Alps.
And then I came to London.
Alright Miss Hobbs. Thank you.
Uh .. did you like working for
Miss Emerson, Miss Hobbs?
Yes, she was great.
- Uhuh.
Get your alien registration fixed
will you. It's two weeks overdue.
Yes.
I think we'd better check
her alibi again, Roger.
I already have. She's clean.
Who's next?
Here we are: "Blachford, Charles Henry."
"Westminster School, King's
College Cambridge" etc.
"White's Club. Royal Philatelic Society,
World War Two Naval Intelligence."
"Distinguished Service
Medal. 1963 Honours list."
"MBE."
- Quite a lad, eh?
He's done alright for himself.
If I hadn't devoted my life to public
service, I could have had all this.
If you hadn't have been a public servant
I'd have had you in a cell years ago.
You go on, and I'll turn the car round.
Hello.
Come in.
Who are you looking for?
- A Mister Charles Blachford.
You supposed me to be
the gardener, I take it?
Not any more, sir.
Detective Chief Inspector Mathews.
What have you come about?
Poor Diane, of course.
Usual routine, sir. We just need to get
a few facts. Get a picture of her life.
I can't see how that can possibly help.
Well, it's conceivable sir, that whoever
murdered her .. knew her habits.
I see .. well, Diane was my
step-daughter. You know that.
Her father was killed in
Korea when she was five.
I married her mother two years later.
The marriage didn't
last long, I'm afraid.
My wife was killed within
the year .. car crash.
So I raised the twins myself.
With the help of Mrs Parsons.
She's my local housekeeper.
Diane's sister?
Delphi?
- An identical twin I believe.
Mr Mathews, Delphi has to be left out
of this. Left out of this completely.
Can you tell me where I'll find her?
Where she lives or works?
I don't think I made myself clear.
I'm not investigating a parking offence.
Your step-daughter was murdered.
Yes, I am aware of that. It's just
that Delphi .. has been very upset.
I know, I'm sorry. We will not bother
her unduly. We're not the Gestapo.
No .. no, indeed.
Delphi .. lives in London, and
works with me here in Windsor.
We're in philately.
- Stamps.
Rare stamps.
We deal usually with other collectors.
We don't sell direct to the public.
Delphi was with me on the
night that it happened.
Anyone else?
Pardon?
- With you?
A few friends actually.
We had dinner here.
Mr Mathews, am I to take it that Delphi
and myself have to produce an alibi?
What time did they leave?
- Late.
But Delphi had to
stay on here the night.
Mr Mathews, I would be obliged if you
stop this unattractive line of inquiry.
I'm sorry sir. May I offer you
my most sincere condolences.
I want you to know that the Police
are at your disposal at any time.
Do call us if you want us.
Thank you for your help. Good day, sir.
- Good day.
Charles, I've brought you some tea.
- Thanks.
Who was it?
- Police.
What did they want?
- I don't quite know.
He asked a few trivial questions. The
answers to which, he certainly knew.
Harry, if you'd have
taken even half a look ..
You would have seen a blur on the
lower right side of the watermark.
The real Ten Mark does not have that.
It does have a break in two
of the left side perforations.
What?
Wait a minute.
Where the devil did you
get this from anyway?
Don't be ridiculous! If you didn't
notice that you need your eyes examined.
I'd say they'd been around ..
No more than a year.
Oh come off it, Harry.
You know jolly well ..
Harry .. all the stamp world knows
about Weishardt's forgeries.
Alright, alright .. apology accepted.
Yes .. of course we'll
talk about it later.
Goodbye .. yes Harry .. yes.
Goodbye .. what kind of
idiot does he take me for?
Put that away Delphi.
I still can't believe it.
Charles.
What's the matter?
- Just over-tired.
I'll call Doctor Merrick.
I'd like to kill this crook.
Tried to palm a forgery on me.
I'll kill him.
Well, you're alright this
time, Charles .. just.
If you weren't so damned contrary,
I'd put you in hospital.
Don't say you haven't been warned.
- Yak, yak, yak.
Yak, yak yourself! I told you at
the funeral, to take a few days off.
So you go to the office.
Did you ever think of her?
Delphi loses her sister one week. Could
have a very ill step-father the next.
Now, who's going to stay with him?
- I told you, I'm perfectly alright.
And don't give me any of that poppycock
about wanting to be alone by yourself ..
In your baronial morgue.
You can't get "living-in" help.
You stay there my boy, and have company
for the next ten days, and like it.
I'll be staying of course.
- Miss Emerson ..
That's alright Mrs Parsons.
- Well, that's settled. Alright.
Lights out .. you two
come along with me.
None of your tricks.
Goodnight Charles.
Will you be staying for dinner, Doctor?
- Why not? Even Doctors have to eat.
I'll see to dinner Mrs Parsons,
you get along home.
Thank you very much Miss Emerson.
Goodnight .. goodnight Doctor.
Let him work that one
out. Yak, yak, yak.
Whiskey?
- And water, please.
Keep him in that study, Delphi.
No stairs.
No office, for a month.
He can have a short walk tomorrow.
He can potter about in that ridiculous
greenhouse of his over the weekend.
Can you cope?
- Of course.
Saves on petrol for a while.
Doctor Merrick, how seriously ill is he?
Well, his sort of heart. It's
serious and not serious.
If he does as he's told, and takes
his pills when he's supposed to ..
A shot if it's urgent.
He could last as long as me or even ..
Any news of Diane?
No.
The bitch.
- Doctor Merrick.
Couldn't even die properly.
She wasn't raped.
You know, that head-basher wasn't blind.
The madman who killed Diane
Emerson was as sane as you are.
Oh, thanks a bunch.
- You're welcome.
You can forget the coffee.
- Why? What's up?
The barmaid across the road. The
one who said she saw somebody?
Fix an I.D. parade for her.
Give it up Matt. It's was a
simple burglary and assault.
That's what you think.
- And the coroner, and everybody else.
Eight hundred pounds
missing isn't burglary.
Well, it ain't arson.
Thank you Madam. If you would just
wait outside for a moment please.
Okay Dave, move them out.
You great twit.
Friends and relatives.
- Come again?
Back to friends and relatives.
Oh Matt, they've all been checked
a dozen times. They're clean.
I've heard that one before. So have you.
- One jet-set girl less.
In a month we'll have six other
cases more important. And solved.
Forget it .. who cares?
- I care.
What?
I care who killed Diane Emerson.
Morning.
Oh, it's Mr Mathews, isn't it?
- Morning. Mathews.
Do you want to talk in here?
Well look, it's one o'clock.
There is a lot to talk about.
Perhaps we could have lunch?
I'll check my handcuffs, badge
and whistle here if you like.
And I've been working since seven
o'clock this morning. I'm hungry.
Alright.
"Oh no, Diane and I
weren't really alike at all."
"We were supposed to be because
we were identical, but we weren't."
"When we finished school,
we both worked in the office."
"It wasn't much fun."
"She'd always had a violent
temper and we lost a few clients."
"It just didn't work out."
"So Charles helped us
put up a boutique."
"She had a terrific flair for clothes.
She just couldn't miss."
"I often used to spend
the evenings with her."
"But we came to see less of each other.
We began to lead different lives."
"It was strange at first, because
we'd always been together."
"Charles could never tell us apart."
"Nor Mrs Parsons, our housekeeper
who'd looked after us for years."
"As children we were always dressed
alike, and had the same books and toys."
"And played the same games.
But we were different even then."
"And we knew it."
"Diane used to do some
things that were inexplicable."
"Hurtful things."
"Things one could almost
never forgive her for."
May we talk about stamps for a moment?
Stamps?
I'm interested in Charles
Blachford's Penny-Gold.
How much do you know about it already?
Well, it was one of those freaks that
happen occasionally in the stamp world.
The Queen Victoria
jubilee series of 1887.
No Penny Stamp was ever planned.
As there was still millions
of the 1883 .. I think.
81 .. Lilac stamp still
available .. by error.
A first run of a Threepenny-Gold
was overprinted by a figure "1".
Making it worth a penny after all.
I must say, you have done your homework.
But you're quite right, the error was
found in the plates of the Penny-Gold.
Which were destroyed, with some of the
stamps that had already been printed.
And then they found that a sheet or two
were missing, and there was a scandal.
Scotland Yard recovered all but two.
And it's taken Charles Blachford
most of his life to track them down.
One was destroyed by
bombing during the war.
Hmm .. and?
Well I'm interested in what
happened to the other one.
It's owned by a dealer called
"Van Der Meij" in Amsterdam.
Why didn't Blachford get it from him?
We hadn't anything to swap.
Nothing to exchange.
Money wouldn't buy the Penny-Gold.
Meaning .. it's priceless?
- Uhuh.
Well, if it was up to me,
I'd sell it and retire.
You don't understand
collectors, Mr Mathews.
The only thing Van Der Meij wants in
his life is a stamp called the "Geneva".
Geneva?
Now if you'll excuse me.
I must get back to the office.
The cheque, eh? Waiter,
can I have the bill please?
Thank you very much.
What did you have for lunch?
- Salad? I don't know.
A classy joint like that
and you can't remember?
She's a good-looker though,
isn't she? I'll give her that.
Intelligent?
Yeah .. yes, intelligent.
Where do you reckon
she fits? Top or bottom?
Top or bottom of what?
- The suspect list.
She is under suspicion of murder,
isn't she? Amongst other things.
Yes, she's under suspicion of murder,
with all the other people. Now belt up.
Suit yourself governor.
Have it your way.
You know .. I feel interested
in her sister's boyfriend.
He's too smooth for comfort, that one.
His alibi stands up. He was at
a fashion show in Brighton.
Was he? Too plausible for my liking.
I'll have another look at him tomorrow.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six.
And cut .. that was good.
Thank you very much.
Hello Inspector .. sorry
to keep you waiting but ..
Twenty pounds an hour each ..
Drink?
- Thanks. Scotch.
So how can I help you? The night that ..
On the weekend it happened,
I was in Brighton.
We know that.
So, I suppose you want
a line on her friends?
Who she liked, didn't like ..
- Something like that.
How long did you live with her?
About ..
A little more than a year, I expect.
- How did you meet?
I knew Delphi.
And I got them mixed up one day.
I was shopping.
"They were as alike as two peas."
"I got the wrong one."
"Then we became very good friends.
And I gave up my own pad."
"For there was really no
point in keeping two."
"People said she was temperamental."
"Sheer hell was more like it."
"I can remember things that would
make your hair stand on end, but .."
"Well .. with someone
like her, you didn't care."
"The other side of her?"
"Well, she had more
working for her per day."
"Than most people had working
for them in a whole lifetime."
"Finally Mr Grancorte, what
sort of girl is your sister?"
"Delphi? Alright I guess."
"What more can I say about her."
"She collects stamps.
You know what I mean?"
Good morning Jack.
- Good morning, Miss.
Morning.
- Morning.
How is he today?
- Much better, I think.
He slept quite well last night.
Did the Police get in touch with you?
For three hours yesterday morning,
they were running around in circles.
No. I mean last night.
Last night?
The Police?
- Yes.
What is it now?
They wanted to speak to Charles and I
said they'd better speak to you first.
And, in the meantime, nothing doing.
- Quite right. Nothing doing.
Same young man, was it?
- Yes.
Somebody should explain to
him the difference between ..
"Investigation" and "infatuation".
What?
- Hmm.
Well, I'd better see how he is.
It feels like Spring.
Large or small coffee?
Large or small?
- Large or small what?
Coffee!
- Oh.
Small black.
Good evening.
- Huh?
Tell me something.
- Not now, Anna.
No, Matthew. I'm serious. What is it
about this one that fascinates you?
The sister in the case. It looks
like Matthew is in love with her.
You can't be serious, can you Roger. Eh?
Get back to your "collage"
or whatever it is.
What are you making anyway?
You!
- Ooh.
I hate people telling me how to think.
- Who?
I don't know. Whoever killed her.
What do you mean,
telling you how to think?
Well, it's all happening
exactly the way they wanted.
I mean, no clues, no witnesses,
no informers, no motives, no nothing.
Just us Policemen thrashing about.
I like it when Policemen
are thrashing about.
You will be delirious to hear love-boat,
that headquarters have decided ..
That whoever killed Diane is the same
person that killed that model in Paris.
So?
So, the French Police have nailed him.
Out of our province, into theirs.
Case closed.
They think.
Oh yes, dear boy. Go forth to seek.
The quarry never found, was still
a fever for the questing heart.
If one supposes .. that both we
and the French are wrong.
You notice I did say, "if" Matthew?
If we are wrong, then it is odd.
People like her don't often
get themselves murdered.
Suicide usually. What's the
boyfriend's name? Grancorte?
"Claude" sir, would you
believe .. Claude Grancorte.
Claude .. Claude Grancorte.
Professional lady's man.
Well, you do realize Matthew that ..
With this particular lady ..
He stood everything to gain if the lady
had lived, and nothing if she died.
Come .. let's walk.
There is a twin sister? Am I right?
- Yes, sir.
And a stepfather?
- Yes. His name is Charles Blachford.
Blachford? Blachford? Ah, yes.
A decent chap. I met him once or twice.
- Did you?
As a matter of fact, we
were at the same college.
Not at the same time of course.
I mean, he's middle-aged.
He made a great deal of money out of ..
Collecting little pieces
of coloured paper.
Stamps.
Strange .. strange.
Identical twins, weren't they?
- They were sir, yes.
Identical, but chalk and cheese.
Yes, I remember now.
Well, there we are my dear Mathews.
Boyfriend, no motive.
Twin sister, no motive.
Stepfather, no motive.
Shop assistant, no motive.
- Hmm.
But ..
One murderer locked up in France
for a precisely similar crime.
Proved to be in England at the
time of the Emerson tragedy.
And one Chief Detective Inspector ..
Running behind the backs
of his immediate superiors ..
For me.
And simply because he
thinks he smells a rat.
Don't you, sir?
Jolly good.
We'll have to make a formal request
to your Headquarters. You know that?
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
- Just a formality.
In murk and mire, we all conspire.
- I beg your pardon, sir?
It's a most hypnotic cesspool
we Policemen inhabit. - Oh.
If there is anything you need ..
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
A most hypnotic cesspit
that we Police inhabit.
I beg your pardon?
I said it's the most "hypnotic
cesspit" that we Policemen inhabit.
Wake me up if the station burns down.
To smash somebody 27
times across the face.
With a heavy, blunt instrument.
Come on, Matt ..
It's straight robbery with
violence. Let's put it to bed.
Don't be stupid! Let's start again.
What the hell are you doing here?
Look, I thought we agreed ..
Well, I'm out of cigarettes.
- You should've gone across the street.
Oh, loosen up.
Somebody .. anybody.
Look, do you have any or not?
- "Do you have any or not?"
Oh drop dead.
I don't like the man they've got on this
case. He's got a nasty suspicious mind.
Are you listening?
- Uhuh.
What's the matter, Claude?
Got a guilty conscience?
I hate to be a drag.
The reason I got you out here is I ..
To check up on one or two
of your sister's boyfriends.
Go ahead.
I wonder if .. you'd know
any of .. this little lot?
Wing Commander Richard Chernow ..
Anthony Harper .. Terence Cooper.
I know him, he's a nasty piece of work.
George Taylor, Lord Insworth.
I wonder how she sobered him up.
Patrick Robert O'Brien
Curtis. What about him?
Diane had many conquests, and I can't
imagine any of them murdering anybody.
What about you? About your boyfriends?
- What about them?
Are you implying that I've a lover who's
induced me to murder? Or vice versa?
Well I .. I just wondered.
I wondered if there was a good-looking
man in the stamp business somewhere.
You should know .. you've done
enough checking up on me.
"Yes, Sir Robert?"
- I'll see the Police Officer now.
Inspector Henson, Sir Robert.
Sir.
Well officer .. what is it
you would like to know?
I'll get straight to the point.
It's about Mr Charles Blachford.
He is your client. Am I correct?
- Yes.
I presume then, that you assisted
him in drawing up a will?
Yes, I think so.
I'd like to look at it please.
Do you have a Court-Order, young man?
No, sir.
Extraordinary.
Does your Superintendent know
of this .. unusual impertinence?
No sir.
- I see.
Well, good day then. I'm sorry.
- Look, sir.
Let me put it this way.
There was a party just
outside Henley last autumn.
We had two men at it.
It was a quiet affair.
Certain people were observed to be in
possession of a substance .. cannabis.
I see.
"Yes, Sir Robert?"
- Would you please send in ..
Charles Blachford's file.
"Very well, sir Robert."
Charles .. Charles.
Presumably, it is extremely important.
I can't find the fur mitts
I left in my wardrobe.
In the trunk room.
A guest couldn't find room in
the wardrobe to hang a neck-tie.
Or even themselves.
Where are you off to?
A bit of skiing. And then stamp
auctions on the continent.
Ah, the annual safari, eh?
Well, unless you think I shouldn't?
Oh he's alright.
- I could get Mrs Parsons to sleep in.
Over my dead body.
- Not necessary.
He'll be back at the office on Monday.
If he behaves himself. - Ha!
Where is the guillotine?
Claude!
Did I frighten you?
What the hell are you doing here?
- I'm not bashing up innocent dolls.
Get out!
- Shush ..
I've come to have a talk.
There are other places to talk.
- Sure, knee-deep in stamp collectors.
Look. I don't see that we have
anything to say to each other.
Who is he?
None of your business.
And he's nothing to do with
my not wanting to see you.
I never loved her .. Delphi.
Of course you didn't .. you never
loved anyone but yourself.
No.
Love .. there was always you.
I don't know what happened.
I don't really understand it myself.
Now, listen .. she was a
bitch. Perhaps it was that.
I was .. planning to leave her.
Then someone came along
and saved you the effort.
Delphi.
You .. and me?
No, Claude.
You don't interest me anymore.
Now please ..
I have to go to Torquay this weekend.
Come with me.
- No.
Sea .. open beaches.
Old-fashioned Victorian hotels.
They used to blow your mind.
- No.
Won't or can't?
- Can't and won't!
It's auction time, remember.
Yes, goddamn stamps ..
Is Charles going?
- No.
Oh .. aprs ski?
Delphi's found herself a snow-buddy.
- Get out!
When you get back .. call me.
Dear Lord ..
Use some bread.
- It's alright for you, you sadist.
Is the Will any use?
Hmm .. she's left a thousand
pounds to Diane.
The same to Mrs Parsons.
Delphi gets all the rest, the house, the
stamp business, and the Penny-Gold.
A good motive.
A great motive .. except the
wrong sister got knocked off.
I got the same strong-arming Sir Robert.
For a more auspicious occasion.
What's so fascinating?
Today's brief. What's up?
The late Diane took trips abroad to
buy clothes for her boutique.
So?
Well Paris, yes. Rome, yes.
Madrid .. maybe.
Who buys clothes in Amsterdam?
- Amsterdam?
Dutch people. She made a trip there?
Yeah.
Anna.
- Yes?
Do you buy clothes in Amsterdam?
- Clothes? Of course not.
What does Amsterdam mean to you then?
Canals, diamonds ..
- And?
Stamps.
- Tulips.
Bicycles.
- Stamps!
Stamps, right.
- Who is right?
He's right. The boy is right. Stamps.
- Stamps.
Stamps?
You are certain that
there is no mistake?
You are certain that it is not Delphi?
Well, we checked on Delphi
that weekend, Mr Van Der Meij.
It was definitely Diane. Exactly
two weeks before she was killed.
Does Delphi know?
- Not yet.
Oh my God .. this is awful.
She came here, Diane .. if you say so.
Quite unexpectedly.
We'd been out to lunch and she
suddenly said "I've got your Geneva."
I mean .. just like that.
She knew of course that I
couldn't resist it and I ..
Really thought she was
Delphi .. I really did.
This Geneva stamp.
Have you been after it long?
- For years.
Like Charles Blachford
and the Penny-Gold.
Are you sure the one you
have got is not a forgery?
No, no. We put it through
the usual tests.
How do you think she got hold of it?
- I don't know.
I mean we were good friends.
There are some things you don't ask.
So you swapped?
The Penny-Gold that Charles
Blachford wanted all his life ..
For the Geneva that you
wanted all your life.
We swapped.
Hello?
Well, hello. Why didn't you wake me?
Well, have I time to do some
shopping before the plane?
It would be better if you waited for me
Delphi. I will be over in a few minutes.
Something very serious has happened. You
may not feel we should go to St Moritz.
Now, let's get this
straight, Miss Hartridge.
You went over to the safe.
Took out your .. Geneva stamp ..
And put it on the table like that.
- That's right, yes.
Then Miss Emerson made her swap offer.
Which was two of the "Goddess Juno"
set that you'd always wanted.
Plus a block of four 1863
Victorian halfpennies.
You refused.
Picked up your Geneva
and put it back in the safe.
Will you tell me what this is all about?
- Is that the same stamp?
What do you mean?
- That was there before.
Yes, of course.
No, this is Swiss. You
put down a French one.
That's right. I switched them.
There's the French one.
This is forged! The rotten bitch.
Oh well.
What a cow. Listen,
I want that stamp back.
We'll do the best we can.
- I should bloody well hope so.
Matt.
- What's happened?
Blachford.
These were found lying in the water.
They'll be a connection
of course, dear boy.
A definite connection
between the two crimes.
No sir .. I think we'll find that this
death will have been accidental.
"It is the conclusion of
this Coroner's Court .."
"No evidence having been
submitted to the contrary."
"That Blachford's death was due
to accident or misadventure."
"The presence of a gun and a torch at
the scene of his unfortunate demise .."
"Surely indicates he was disturbed by
someone prowling outside the house."
"After arming himself,
Charles Blachford gave chase."
"Then either he encountered
this prowler."
"And was pushed into the
lake or he fell accidentally."
"In any event."
"Medical evidence indicates a
major heart attack was followed .."
"Immediately by drowning."
I want to talk to you.
- So?
Diane stole the Penny-Gold
and I know you have it.
Well, I want it back .. for
Van Der Meij in Amsterdam.
I'm still up at Charles's house sorting
out his private papers and things.
Try and get some rest Mrs Parsons.
- Rest?
Hello.
I won't take up much of your time.
I'm sure you don't want to bothered
with Police at a time like this.
I know about it already.
Know about what?
- The Penny-Gold.
How did she get that Geneva
that Van Der Meij wanted?
Well she .. she switched a forged
one on the woman who owned it.
Helen Hartridge?
- Hmm.
That's amazing.
Anyway, I didn't come
about the Penny-Gold.
Remember that last Monday ..
I forgot to make a note of your
hotels in St Moritz and Amsterdam.
Yes. Because I didn't give them to you.
Is there any reason why I should?
Yes, your stepfather.
I need to establish an alibi.
Alibi?
You mean, prove I was
somewhere .. when he died?
Well surely you don't think
his death was accidental?
The Coroner said ..?
What I don't understand, is why
he didn't use the telephone.
To call Merrick .. or Mrs Parsons ..
Anybody.
It works.
Time me.
- Okay.
Go!
Twenty seconds.
- He could have done it.
Nothing here .. battery leads and
distributor haven't been touched.
Spare set in the glove compartment.
All they had to do was take both
sets and .. put them back later.
Are these the pills you prescribed
for Blachford, Doctor?
Yes, that's them.
- I see.
Two .. four .. six ..
Do you mind having the courtesy
to tell me what this is all about?
Would you mind counting, Doctor?
How many?
- Eighteen.
Thirty-sex.
- That's fifty-four.
How many originally?
- A hundred.
Take two .. three times .. a day.
When did he start taking them?
Eight days before he died.
Well, if my arithmetic is right ..
There is two extra.
Perhaps he missed taking
them on the night he died?
Perhaps he didn't get around to it.
Perhaps he couldn't.
Perhaps somebody deliberately removed
the bottle, and put him into a panic.
And put it back later.
It's a thought.
- Nasty.
I was in Henley as a matter of fact.
I went there by bicycle.
I had a gin and ginger in
the Crosskeys Hotel.
Pubs close at eleven.
Well, it's a long ride back from Henley.
Right?
- No. Sorry.
You did say that .. any
information I gave you ..
Would be regarded with the
greatest confidence, didn't you?
Of course.
Don't you dare smile.
But I'm not as young as
I was, or as pretty but ..
Many a decent man looks for more than
just a pretty face in his lady friend.
Me for one, Mrs Parsons.
So .. who was the lucky man?
Yes .. I think so .. Mr Grancorte.
"Claude Grancorte". Room 109.
Double or single?
- There was a lady with him, yes.
Did you get here name?
- Sorry, she didn't register.
What did she look like?
- Well ..
Tall or short?
- Well .. average.
Blond or brunette?
Blond .. a lovely figure.
Any luck?
- Nah ..
His car was involved in minor accident
last Saturday. About 9 o'clock at night.
Locals have the full report.
- Are you surprised?
Doesn't miss a trick, does he.
He's got an Achilles
heel like the rest of us.
Where?
Women.
Claude, will you please hurry?
I'm choking. You know I don't smoke.
What the hell is the matter with camera?
The shutter is jammed.
Did that help?
- No.
What's got into you today?
Oh my God ..
Miss America.
Claude .. I've got a problem.
- You've got ..?
Shut up!
What's the matter?
- Get rid of her.
Well .. she's useful.
- Was.
Mathews is sitting in your car.
Here, you!
Look!
Sorry. Didn't see you there.
- And what do you want?
Nice car.
Look, if it's the name of the girl I
had with me in Torquay, she's upstairs.
No, I've got a name thank you.
There is just one or two little
things I'd like to clarify ..
If I could have a little of your time.
Shortly before Blachford's death ..
You drove out to his country home.
Now we know that to be true, because one
or two of the villagers saw you there.
I went to see Delphi .. a family matter.
Did you see anybody else
there at the same time?
No .. I never fancied Charles
Blachford. Now if you don't mind ..
Now, listen you ..
There is a telephone upstairs
attached to a very long wire.
At the other end is
a rather efficient MP.
He doesn't like Policemen, either.
BEA flight 614 to Nice. Leaving London
5:25 pm September the 3rd two years ago.
Tickets issued to you
and Delphi Emerson.
And a reservation at the
Majestic Hotel in Cannes.
A double room with bathtub.
It struck me that if you had switched
from one sister to the other before ..
Maybe you were considering
switching back again?
Well, try again.
She's already spoken for.
What do you mean?
Well, well .. there is something
the Police don't know.
Don't give me the run-around sonny-boy!
Who's she involved with?
In fact, she went skiing with him
the weekend her stepfather died.
I said "who?"
See ..
Run along upstairs now, Chummy.
There's a good boy.
Van Der Meij, it was Van Der Meij.
Where did our Claude go to?
Down in Torquay with a
model friend, we're told.
And we still see Emerson,
with Peter Van Der Meij.
A most attractive young woman,
Miss Emerson. - Yes.
My service I think.
Shop assistant?
Tina .. in her bedsitter.
Apparently keeping the neighbours awake
half the night with those .. cassettes.
Cheers, sir.
- Cheers, dear boy.
I needed that.
Who is lying?
Which of the four do we want?
Or which two in which combination?
Claude and Delphi?
Delphi and Van Der Meij?
Or Van Der Meij and Claude?
Add the little shop assistant and
double the permutations.
Now we know the motive
is stamps. One stamp.
A Threepenny Victoria overprinted with
the number "1" to make it a penny.
Now that penny is worth a fortune.
There is something
right there, dear boy.
Why don't you start again?
Strip all alibis to the bare bones.
Don't trust anybody.
Especially a beautiful woman.
Come on Roger, do you mind?
- What a dump.
We can't play Madam Hobbs much.
Alright .. so, you saw her come in?
And where were you?
- In my room.
I told you.
I said "good evening, love". She said ..
I see. So, she came in
and .. shut the door.
Well, that's what I said, didn't I?
You saw her shut the door, did you?
- Yeah!
Well, I didn't exactly see her.
Get it together you little creep. Did
you see her shut the door or didn't you?
I heard her.
- You heard her!
I hear her every night.
- I see.
You heard her from outside,
maybe? Like this, eh?
You dimwit. Why didn't you tell us
this when we first talked to you?
Well ..
Ah .. I heard her because she
turned on the tape recorder.
I see. What happened when it stopped?
- Well, I watched the box.
It was a match. It was Chelsea and ..
So it did stop, did it?
What happened then?
Well, uh .. well, uh ..
- Think!
Well, it was after the match was over.
Right.
Let's go .. you too.
- Come on.
How long does that tape run?
- One like hers? About 45 minutes.
So it takes about 45 minutes
to drive down to Blachford's.
The tape runs, then it stops.
She was there ten minutes.
Then she drives back.
That's an hour and a half. Long enough
for Chelsea to win their match.
She turns the tape on and this
twit doesn't notice .. you twit!
That's our bird there, isn't it?
Yeah?
Well, what the devil happened?
She died, it's in the evening papers.
They've been looking for you everywhere.
Right .. in an hour.
Delphi? .. Claude.
The Penny-Gold .. I want to talk to you.
And now .. the finished masterpiece.
Pray silence. A little bit of hush.
Voil!
It's me.
- Yes.
How did you guess?
- Because you told me it was me.
Roger.
What's the matter?
- What you just said.
What?
Anna said she knew your masterpiece
was her because you told her it was.
So?
Delphi Emerson and her stepfather ..
Identified the corpse as Diane Emerson
because they were told it was her!
Go on. I'm with you.
Help yourself to a drink.
Alright, Claude.
And don't tell me that you haven't
got it .. I've seen Van Der Meij.
If .. I do have it.
And if .. I did give it back?
What would be my chances afterwards?
You really are abysmally
jaded, aren't you.
No .. repentant.
Meaning you wouldn't know where
to get rid of the stamp alone.
Except on the black market.
And they wouldn't give you enough to
offset the risk of being informed on.
Claude!
- Hold her!
Claude!
No!
Claude .. what do you want?
You can have the stamp!
Hold her head!
- No .. no!
Cut it out!
- She bit me.
Take her clothes off.
And don't forget that Tina's
passport is in my bag in the car.
Oh .. that's better.
Well .. goodbye Diane.
You mean Delphi, don't you?
- No.
I mean Diane.
I'm Delphi now.
And don't you forget it.
Alright.
All set?
- Not quite.
Why, what is it?
Oh ..
- Hello.
May I?
Mr Mathews, I'm very tired.
Just five minutes Miss Emerson.
That's all it will take.
Well, I'm not on my own.
- We're aware of that.
Mr Mathews wants to see me
for a moment. Was it private?
No. I don't think so.
A drink Mr Mathews?
- No, thank you.
Miss Emerson, I want you to
drive up to town with me.
I beg your pardon?
- To London.
I want you to drive there with me
tonight. Stay in your own apartment.
London?
Whatever for?
- As a precaution.
Well, I don't understand.
- It's for your own personal safety.
Mr Mathews, I really don't
think you're being reasonable.
Delphi's stepfather has just died.
- Don't interrupt.
It's your sister.
We think she .. we think
she may still be alive.
No.
Alive? Now look here.
If this is a joke ..
- No, it's no joke.
Have you checked on Tina Hobbs lately?
Tina?
- Found out who she really is?
What the hell are you getting at?
Well .. according to the
American Embassy ..
Miss Hobbs lost her passport .. and went
back to Nebraska .. on a re-issued one.
Twelve months ago.
So, our Tina must be somebody
else, mustn't she.
I see .. Diane dressed up as Tina.
Mr Mathews, you forget that
I identified Diane myself.
You identified what?
You identified half a face.
A bloody, smashed-in mess.
Did you see all of her?
Did you see a body?
Presumably the same as your
own .. did you see her legs?
Charles Blachford was
there. I hardly think ..
Shut up!
The Inspector that was present
will tell you that I didn't ..
I see.
So, you assumed.
You weren't certain.
I see .. a brunette.
The same colouring .. the same size.
As your sister.
Wearing your sister's house-coat.
It's so much easier to assume,
than being certain, isn't it.
Well, if it's correct.
I mean, who was it?
It wasn't Tina. She went ..
- I don't know, I don't. You tell me.
And the body was cremated, wasn't it?
No exhumation.
No dental check.
But I can guess.
Some poor drop-out.
Somebody nobody will miss.
Lonely.
In a pub.
"Hello pretty lady."
"Would you like to come back to my nice,
apartment? Have a big juicy steak?"
"Relax .. a nice hot shower."
"Have a joint or two?"
- Very well.
Miss Nobody is murdered.
Everyone thinks that she is Diane.
And meanwhile, Diane is alive
and pretending to be Tina.
The next thing you'll tell me
is that she killed Charles.
Really Mr Mathews .. for what purpose?
- You said it yourself.
A Penny-Gold .. they are priceless.
Penny-Gold?
Get rid of herself and
her stepfather in public.
And get rid of you in private.
Then she could do a thing that she could
not do with you and Blachford alive.
Pose as you, and sell the Penny-Gold.
But uh .. I blocked that one when
I went to see Van Der Meij.
Nobody can sell that stamp now.
Because I've attached a
Fraud-and-Forgery charge to it.
An interesting theory.
But for one, small thing.
My sister is dead.
- Your sister is alive!
And still after you.
And she's wanted on suspicion of
two murders and a manslaughter.
So she needs somewhere
very safe to hide.
And that place is .. you.
Goodnight.
Mr Grancorte will see you out.
Don't bother.
I'll need a bit of help.
Claude.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing .. I could do with a drink.
Better make that three.
I could use one myself.
Okay Fred, they're here now. You
can fish that trunk out of the lake.
Remember, the statue inside is valuable.
Get it back where it belongs.
Come on, darling.
And you.
Forget it, Chummy.
I hope you two will be very happy.
Delphi, what's happened?
- Look again, Doctor.
My God almighty.
Alright, get rid of them.
Alright my dear, we'll
have you right in no time.
Chloroform is it?
I'll fill you in with
the gory details later.
0h.
Off to hospital then, I think.
For a closer look.
Alright.
Doctor.
Want to look at this charmer's face
before you go up to the hospital?
Not particularly. What happened to him?
He uh .. tripped over a trunk.
(Ros)