Permanent Green Light (2018) Movie Script
Tim!
Don't you want to
see what that was?
No.
A building has collapsed.
By itself?
Don't you want to help?
I...
I don't know if
I want to see it.
This is for you.
Very friendly.
Thank you.
It's from the building
that collapsed.
I'll imagine it's something else,
if it's okay with you.
I like it.
It reminds me of
something I'm thinking about.
I'm trying to...
figure out the difference...
between ending and dying.
Things that matter die,
things that don't, end.
Exactly.
Would you mind
thinking about it with me
and tell me what you think?
Good...
I prefer to wait
for what I think,
before saying it out loud.
I know.
We have time.
Then it's worth it.
I'm going to the fair.
You can come
with me if you want.
Would you go alone?
Yes.
I like the idea of
you going alone.
And the fireworks?
Too familiar?
This is for you.
You said you liked piatas.
I like them.
I am obsessed.
Did you make that?
Yes.
What is that
supposed to represent?
This?
It's nothing.
How long does it take?
It could be five seconds
or it could be all day.
And then what?
Normally children
fight over what falls.
No, what I meant is:
What about the piata?
I would throw it away.
Won't you miss it later?
Won't you feel bad
to have it destroyed?
I don't think I
know if I'll regret it.
I have never destroyed one.
But you have hundreds.
37. I have 37.
Don't you want to
know what's inside?
There are always
cheap toys and trinkets.
I just like empty ones.
But I hate how little they
weigh without anything inside.
It's a problem.
I suppose yours is different?
What's inside is different?
It's totally different.
I can't wait.
Let me know when things fall,
to know when I have to stop.
They're already gone.
You're good?
More than good.
Can't you put on headphones?
I have to listen to it
through the speakers.
I have to shit.
Everything okay?
Get out of my door.
Roman,
what is this?
I like that you said
"this".
It looks like you.
Yes, I used the mirror.
It's you?
No, he's called
Pentti Monkkonen.
He never took a picture.
It's not that he did it
intentionally or anything.
It's just that nobody
ever wanted one.
I suppose.
He disappeared, I do not know,
twenty years ago.
Nobody knows what
happened to him.
No one knows
what he looked like,
apart from the people
who knew him personally,
but those do not count,
so I've made him look like me.
These drawings are cool.
I like them very much.
At the end,
it will appear,
like,
this.
But I have not figured
out how to draw it yet.
Do you think he died?
No.
Is he still somewhere?
No.
I think to say...
that Pentti Monkkonen died or
he's still alive somewhere,
It has more to do
with us than with him.
What do you think
happened to him?
When...
when a ship is wrecked,
in the ocean,
and there are people on board,
look at pictures
of the shipwreck,
It is spectacular.
But you don't
think about people.
You only think,
how intense the boat looks
because you know they are inside.
You are making me nervous.
Seriously?
Yes.
Are you implying,
that you are going
to commit suicide?
No.
You're not like
someone on a ship,
you are very important.
You're like...
a kind of sun.
Okay.
The sun is important,
but we don't think about it.
We think it's a
light from outside.
Or we don't even notice.
Simply...
we have light.
I love the sun.
Yes,
we are lucky to be close
to a thing that is on fire.
Guillaume, are you okay?
I'm great.
And you?
I'm getting bored. I'm going.
Seriously?
I think something
fascinating is happening here.
Do you know that project
you are working on?
It seems that my neighbor's
son has committed suicide.
I looked over the fence, and
I saw him through the window.
Where does all this come from?
What do you think?
Does it help you?
Maybe.
I do not know yet.
How are you doing?
I don't know.
Crushed.
It is the only word
that comes to mind.
Will his parents care?
Yes,
I think.
They are practitioners.
I wish I could do
something more for him.
I have a friend,
who collects explosive belts.
She would suit you.
She's like me, she doesn't
want to blow up her belt.
But surely she
would give you one.
The problem is...
that forensics...
They would know what happened.
With DNA and all that.
I hate DNA.
I can imagine.
I saw a picture the other day.
I was investigating
about Pentti Monkkonen,
the boy who
disappeared completely.
It was the photo of
the roof of a building,
seen from above,
and there was a shadow.
It looked like it was
a person's shadow,
but there was no one there.
And there was...
There was something strange,
but I didn't know what.
And I read what it was.
From what you see,
someone fell or jumped
out of an airplane.
I guess it fell for miles
until it landed on that roof.
The shadow is what was
left of him when it collided.
There was nothing left of him,
no skin, no bones,
no blood, nothing.
Only a black shadow.
There are people who think that
the shadow is Pentti Monkkonen.
I don't think it's him,
but I thought: "What if it is?"
It was very close.
I have to go,
but thanks for thinking of me.
I should call the police.
Do you want us
to get high before?
What do you mean?
Do you want to get high with me?
Can I take some home instead?
It's not very friendly,
but why not.
Something big is happening.
It's incredible.
Maybe you know.
In you or in the world?
In the world.
Where you are.
Is it something that I'll like?
No.
And your friends?
I think so.
That is to say...
from what I know.
How many of your friends
know you from before?
Only Ollie.
Okay, I'll tell you, but
I have to be careful because
I think it's all in your head,
and I don't
understand your head.
Can I enter?
No, no.
If you get in, I'll go crazy.
You have to stay there,
like a video.
Before...
I don't know how to talk
about what happened.
All the words are too...
too impulsive.
You fell off the bicycle.
No,
I want to say what
that supposedly caused.
I cannot pronounce it,
It destroyed the part of your
brain that controls the muscles,
and changed your behavior.
I think.
Before that,
my friends always asked me:
"Why are you so weird?"
Now I realize that
they wanted to say:
"Can I know you better?"
And so it is.
Now nobody tries,
except you.
Because they believe...
that it would drive me crazy.
And I would do it.
I really like my friends, but
Fuck.
You want me to go crazy.
You always try.
You think it's the only
way left to really know me.
When Guillaume was
here the other day,
I asked him if you were okay,
and he said no.
Surely he said it by
putting himself in your place.
It's great that you do
not know me anymore.
And it also seems permanent.
I always thought that with
you that would be impossible.
You don't agree at all.
I do not agree
with it being great.
It has helped me
a lot to think that.
Seriously.
Thank you.
In fact, maybe
you could like it.
Tim.
Roman.
Can I meet your friend?
Yeah, sure.
How were the drugs?
Surprisingly good.
Thank you.
I left the sleeping
bag in your house.
If I ever sleep outside again,
it will be in your yard.
Ok, Roman.
I introduce you
and I go to work.
Roman, this is Leon.
I don't trust you very much.
Can I sit?
Okay.
I don't know if I want to see
your collection of explosive belts,
or if I just want
to talk about it.
I don't know how
to talk about it.
Where do you buy them?
From a boy.
Do you collect them just
because you like them?
No.
Do you like politics,
violence and all that?
No.
I don't watch TV.
Why do you like them?
I don't like them, I mean,
I've never seen one.
I just like that,
when they are activated,
from what I have read,
they disintegrate
suicide bombers.
What I don't like...
is that everything
around him also explodes.
It is a defect.
You are smart.
Thank you.
Tim said I should give you one.
He did not tell me why.
He is a friend.
I could give you
the one I carry,
but we would have
to get behind a tree.
I thought you were
not wearing them.
I take them with me sometimes,
but I do not like it.
I don't think I want any.
They are too...
I don't know,
Famous.
But thanks.
I'm trying to figure out
how it could explode,
how people could see
it or even read about it,
and what that would be like,
but that's not important.
It would only be like,
a particularity
of the explosion.
Maybe...
if you first make
people not like you,
if it did not matter to anyone.
No, I think that's a myth.
It's a strange and
indiscreet question, but,
It's because of the explosion
project that I've told you.
Do you like explosive belts
because you want to kill yourself?
Yes.
Does the same
thing happen to you?
They won't stop
asking me, but no.
I have never been asked.
You are the first.
I hope you don't.
Why?
Maybe because,
it seems we could be friends.
I don't think a
friendship will stop me.
I mean...
I did not mean friendship.
No, maybe it's
better for me if you do it.
That is, if you really want.
It sounds horrible.
It's just because
I don't know you.
I have not taken it personally.
I just have to find
a reason to do it.
Can you think of one?
No.
In fact, I'm happy.
Hi Tim.
How fast.
Is it going well?
Hi.
This is my best friend, Ollie.
Hi Tim.
Come in.
It won't stop doing this.
I don't know how to stop it.
I can fix it.
That would be great, thanks.
I didn't know Leon
or anything, but,
she seemed smart,
unique.
I wanted to know if I
could ask a question.
Shocked.
I share your sentiment.
That had to happen anyway.
I sent an SMS to Lon,
with a very important question,
but she did it too fast and I
never received the answer.
Maybe I could ask you,
if you knew her very well,
but not now,
it would be too weird.
Oh okay,
where she got the explosives.
I'll send you a message.
She left me her phone.
Okay.
Tim?
Is it really the coffin?
Yes.
Why?
Because it has this form.
More or less.
Did she not blow up?
No. She jumped or something.
I told you,
she only collected them.
Is she here really?
This is the last SMS
that Lon sent me.
They think she sent it about
ten minutes before jumping.
Do you want to see it
while I read it or not?
No.
It's the...
I'll reach you.
Why here?
I don't know.
Curiosity.
I think we should talk
about what we think.
Yes,
that.
A friend of ours,
the one you met at the funeral.
His sister called me.
I did not know he had a sister.
What did she want?
I don't know, but I tried
not to show it to him.
You are freezing.
Yes.
I have alligator blood.
Literally.
An alligator bit me
when I was five years old.
I almost bled.
His saliva entered my veins,
and since then we
have become one.
To be honest,
it has been very
difficult for me.
I cry a lot.
I also,
but not for the same reason.
It's not that I don't
like him being with us,
but above all I worry
that I can't do anything.
I guess that's it.
Can I say something?
Clearly.
Maybe it's a prejudice because
of what happened with Lon,
but why won't you say "No"?
What do you mean by "No"?
"Don't do it".
Did you tell Lon,
"Don't do it"?
Yes.
I've thought about it.
I know that everything
must be done,
to prevent someone
from committing suicide.
I understand why it is
supposed to be done.
I know it won't work.
It could work.
You never know.
I understand that he thinks...
that it would be
great to blow up,
and become nothing.
I go crazy just
thinking about it.
It is exciting.
Surely it is impossible,
but you never know.
I understand that
he will surely die,
that can leave
me fucked for life.
I thought about telling him
"No, don't do it".
But I have decided
to take the risk.
What are you trying to do?
Explode.
Make me explode.
But...,
nobody or nothing else.
Just me.
Okay.
The other important thing is,
that there will be nothing left.
Or almost nothing.
Only tiny pieces.
Not pieces, if possible.
Maybe fog, if there
is no other option.
You will leave
things behind you.
In that case,
I would like,
that the explosion and what it
leaves behind is so incredible
that people say...
"Thank you,
whoever did this."
Shit.
You can't come here.
Why not?
Because you're too old.
Why are you going out like this?
I am an actor.
A friend of mine is making
a movie down the street.
- That's why I'm...
- You do not really seem like an actor.
I know. It's low budget.
Good.
Tim.
My son bought you
this gift some time ago.
I wanted to give it to you,
but I was too depressed.
What is it?
I don't know.
He thought you would like it,
because you really like piatas.
I never talked with him.
Please...
Alone...
bad.
Friend...
good.
Did you hear? I...
I didn't.
Someone knocked on the door.
How did you hear?
Do you want to go swimming?
Clearly.
Is him.
Sinister.
I think you're fed up with me.
I'm sorry.
I'm in a new phase.
I'm trying...
I'm trying to think
and talk like it's a thing,
and not myself.
Okay.
I think you're in love with me,
and it's nice,
even if it's a little weird.
I mean, thanks, but...
It makes it hard to know
how to tell you something.
Wait, let's go swimming.
I wonder where the
river comes from.
From the mountains.
I'm going to find out.
Shit.
You're good?
Yes,
I have done it
hundreds of times.
So.
Where does the river start?
What?
I don't know.
I still do not know how to say
that to someone who loves me,
so I'll just say it and
see what happens,
I'm going to explode.
I mean on purpose.
I know where and I know why.
It's already decided.
I will try to get
used to the idea,
if you let me sleep with you.
I understand that for you
this deal makes sense, but...
No.
You said you wanted
to think like a thing,
but you don't do it.
If you were one thing,
you would say:
"Of course,
whatever you want."
No.
It's fine.
Thanks for wanting, by the way.
I'll pay you.
May I?
I recently met a girl.
She collected explosives belts.
And I felt we had...
a connection.
Because at that moment she
had already decided to explode.
But she wanted to
commit suicide and die,
and I don't.
I thought,
that when she did it,
She would do it
with one of her belts,
and I thought
that if she did it,
maybe the explosion
would be so big,
that the issue of
the explosive belt,
that was the
defect it had for me,
not caring.
And that excited me,
for obvious reasons.
She committed
suicide three days ago,
but it was from a building.
So,
it was simply
a normal death.
There was a funeral.
I had to see her father.
Her coffin was there.
It had her form.
You could not...
avoid knowing she was there.
You could not help thinking
that she was not alive anymore.
How can I put it...
How do you say?
I hate all the words
there are for that.
Did you cry?
Yes,
yes,
I feel nauseous
just thinking about it.
Even when I tell
you, I feel nauseous.
And what does that
have to do with us?
I don't know.
This is not my specialty.
One day,
when you remember that
you wanted to sleep with me,
you will think:
"God, that was
such a little thing."
I really believe it will happen.
Here it's great.
It's okay to do nothing.
What a brilliant idea.
Thank you.
I almost wish you had
brought a board game.
Thank you.
It seems you've been crying.
Seriously?
It was a while ago.
Do you want to
take a walk with me?
What do you do?
I do not mean school.
Maybe I wanted to
say what you like to do.
That is, you are very young.
No offense.
I am an actor.
Where have I seen you?
So far I've only
been in a movie.
Tim also.
Have you seen bad scary movies
that teenagers make with their friends,
and upload to YouTube?
Not recently.
Then no.
Let's hurry a bit.
Come see this.
Oh okay,
that would have to serve.
I think...
that you should stay away.
Over there.
I think that's fine here.
Can you still see me from there?
Detail?
Yes.
How much detail do you want?
I can see your hair,
but not the hairs.
That should be enough.
Then yes.
I don't know if
I should talk or just do it.
Talk.
Yes.
When I fell off
the bike last year,
It was the most extraordinary
thing that has ever happened to me.
For those who did
not know me before,
I was riding my bike
with my friend Charles,
whom I no longer know.
I was telling him something
and he was listening.
I remember thinking that it was the
most important thing I had ever said.
I think it was about him and me.
I also remember,
he seemed more interested
in me than ever before.
My wheel hit
something and I fell,
and I hit my head.
It happened so fast,
I was still talking when
my head hit the ground.
We never spoke again.
If we crossed by chance,
He would look at me
as if he did not know me.
I don't think he knew me.
He talked about me
in the past with people,
and he even said
how great I was.
I don't care.
This part is not important, but
he was great too,
We had been best friends
since we were five years old.
People said that he
was probably just...
traumatized.
Ye...
yes,
my head made a dreadful
sound when it hit the ground,
but it didn't even bleed.
Don't you want to
see what that was?
No.
A building has collapsed.
By itself?
Don't you want to help?
I...
I don't know if
I want to see it.
This is for you.
Very friendly.
Thank you.
It's from the building
that collapsed.
I'll imagine it's something else,
if it's okay with you.
I like it.
It reminds me of
something I'm thinking about.
I'm trying to...
figure out the difference...
between ending and dying.
Things that matter die,
things that don't, end.
Exactly.
Would you mind
thinking about it with me
and tell me what you think?
Good...
I prefer to wait
for what I think,
before saying it out loud.
I know.
We have time.
Then it's worth it.
I'm going to the fair.
You can come
with me if you want.
Would you go alone?
Yes.
I like the idea of
you going alone.
And the fireworks?
Too familiar?
This is for you.
You said you liked piatas.
I like them.
I am obsessed.
Did you make that?
Yes.
What is that
supposed to represent?
This?
It's nothing.
How long does it take?
It could be five seconds
or it could be all day.
And then what?
Normally children
fight over what falls.
No, what I meant is:
What about the piata?
I would throw it away.
Won't you miss it later?
Won't you feel bad
to have it destroyed?
I don't think I
know if I'll regret it.
I have never destroyed one.
But you have hundreds.
37. I have 37.
Don't you want to
know what's inside?
There are always
cheap toys and trinkets.
I just like empty ones.
But I hate how little they
weigh without anything inside.
It's a problem.
I suppose yours is different?
What's inside is different?
It's totally different.
I can't wait.
Let me know when things fall,
to know when I have to stop.
They're already gone.
You're good?
More than good.
Can't you put on headphones?
I have to listen to it
through the speakers.
I have to shit.
Everything okay?
Get out of my door.
Roman,
what is this?
I like that you said
"this".
It looks like you.
Yes, I used the mirror.
It's you?
No, he's called
Pentti Monkkonen.
He never took a picture.
It's not that he did it
intentionally or anything.
It's just that nobody
ever wanted one.
I suppose.
He disappeared, I do not know,
twenty years ago.
Nobody knows what
happened to him.
No one knows
what he looked like,
apart from the people
who knew him personally,
but those do not count,
so I've made him look like me.
These drawings are cool.
I like them very much.
At the end,
it will appear,
like,
this.
But I have not figured
out how to draw it yet.
Do you think he died?
No.
Is he still somewhere?
No.
I think to say...
that Pentti Monkkonen died or
he's still alive somewhere,
It has more to do
with us than with him.
What do you think
happened to him?
When...
when a ship is wrecked,
in the ocean,
and there are people on board,
look at pictures
of the shipwreck,
It is spectacular.
But you don't
think about people.
You only think,
how intense the boat looks
because you know they are inside.
You are making me nervous.
Seriously?
Yes.
Are you implying,
that you are going
to commit suicide?
No.
You're not like
someone on a ship,
you are very important.
You're like...
a kind of sun.
Okay.
The sun is important,
but we don't think about it.
We think it's a
light from outside.
Or we don't even notice.
Simply...
we have light.
I love the sun.
Yes,
we are lucky to be close
to a thing that is on fire.
Guillaume, are you okay?
I'm great.
And you?
I'm getting bored. I'm going.
Seriously?
I think something
fascinating is happening here.
Do you know that project
you are working on?
It seems that my neighbor's
son has committed suicide.
I looked over the fence, and
I saw him through the window.
Where does all this come from?
What do you think?
Does it help you?
Maybe.
I do not know yet.
How are you doing?
I don't know.
Crushed.
It is the only word
that comes to mind.
Will his parents care?
Yes,
I think.
They are practitioners.
I wish I could do
something more for him.
I have a friend,
who collects explosive belts.
She would suit you.
She's like me, she doesn't
want to blow up her belt.
But surely she
would give you one.
The problem is...
that forensics...
They would know what happened.
With DNA and all that.
I hate DNA.
I can imagine.
I saw a picture the other day.
I was investigating
about Pentti Monkkonen,
the boy who
disappeared completely.
It was the photo of
the roof of a building,
seen from above,
and there was a shadow.
It looked like it was
a person's shadow,
but there was no one there.
And there was...
There was something strange,
but I didn't know what.
And I read what it was.
From what you see,
someone fell or jumped
out of an airplane.
I guess it fell for miles
until it landed on that roof.
The shadow is what was
left of him when it collided.
There was nothing left of him,
no skin, no bones,
no blood, nothing.
Only a black shadow.
There are people who think that
the shadow is Pentti Monkkonen.
I don't think it's him,
but I thought: "What if it is?"
It was very close.
I have to go,
but thanks for thinking of me.
I should call the police.
Do you want us
to get high before?
What do you mean?
Do you want to get high with me?
Can I take some home instead?
It's not very friendly,
but why not.
Something big is happening.
It's incredible.
Maybe you know.
In you or in the world?
In the world.
Where you are.
Is it something that I'll like?
No.
And your friends?
I think so.
That is to say...
from what I know.
How many of your friends
know you from before?
Only Ollie.
Okay, I'll tell you, but
I have to be careful because
I think it's all in your head,
and I don't
understand your head.
Can I enter?
No, no.
If you get in, I'll go crazy.
You have to stay there,
like a video.
Before...
I don't know how to talk
about what happened.
All the words are too...
too impulsive.
You fell off the bicycle.
No,
I want to say what
that supposedly caused.
I cannot pronounce it,
It destroyed the part of your
brain that controls the muscles,
and changed your behavior.
I think.
Before that,
my friends always asked me:
"Why are you so weird?"
Now I realize that
they wanted to say:
"Can I know you better?"
And so it is.
Now nobody tries,
except you.
Because they believe...
that it would drive me crazy.
And I would do it.
I really like my friends, but
Fuck.
You want me to go crazy.
You always try.
You think it's the only
way left to really know me.
When Guillaume was
here the other day,
I asked him if you were okay,
and he said no.
Surely he said it by
putting himself in your place.
It's great that you do
not know me anymore.
And it also seems permanent.
I always thought that with
you that would be impossible.
You don't agree at all.
I do not agree
with it being great.
It has helped me
a lot to think that.
Seriously.
Thank you.
In fact, maybe
you could like it.
Tim.
Roman.
Can I meet your friend?
Yeah, sure.
How were the drugs?
Surprisingly good.
Thank you.
I left the sleeping
bag in your house.
If I ever sleep outside again,
it will be in your yard.
Ok, Roman.
I introduce you
and I go to work.
Roman, this is Leon.
I don't trust you very much.
Can I sit?
Okay.
I don't know if I want to see
your collection of explosive belts,
or if I just want
to talk about it.
I don't know how
to talk about it.
Where do you buy them?
From a boy.
Do you collect them just
because you like them?
No.
Do you like politics,
violence and all that?
No.
I don't watch TV.
Why do you like them?
I don't like them, I mean,
I've never seen one.
I just like that,
when they are activated,
from what I have read,
they disintegrate
suicide bombers.
What I don't like...
is that everything
around him also explodes.
It is a defect.
You are smart.
Thank you.
Tim said I should give you one.
He did not tell me why.
He is a friend.
I could give you
the one I carry,
but we would have
to get behind a tree.
I thought you were
not wearing them.
I take them with me sometimes,
but I do not like it.
I don't think I want any.
They are too...
I don't know,
Famous.
But thanks.
I'm trying to figure out
how it could explode,
how people could see
it or even read about it,
and what that would be like,
but that's not important.
It would only be like,
a particularity
of the explosion.
Maybe...
if you first make
people not like you,
if it did not matter to anyone.
No, I think that's a myth.
It's a strange and
indiscreet question, but,
It's because of the explosion
project that I've told you.
Do you like explosive belts
because you want to kill yourself?
Yes.
Does the same
thing happen to you?
They won't stop
asking me, but no.
I have never been asked.
You are the first.
I hope you don't.
Why?
Maybe because,
it seems we could be friends.
I don't think a
friendship will stop me.
I mean...
I did not mean friendship.
No, maybe it's
better for me if you do it.
That is, if you really want.
It sounds horrible.
It's just because
I don't know you.
I have not taken it personally.
I just have to find
a reason to do it.
Can you think of one?
No.
In fact, I'm happy.
Hi Tim.
How fast.
Is it going well?
Hi.
This is my best friend, Ollie.
Hi Tim.
Come in.
It won't stop doing this.
I don't know how to stop it.
I can fix it.
That would be great, thanks.
I didn't know Leon
or anything, but,
she seemed smart,
unique.
I wanted to know if I
could ask a question.
Shocked.
I share your sentiment.
That had to happen anyway.
I sent an SMS to Lon,
with a very important question,
but she did it too fast and I
never received the answer.
Maybe I could ask you,
if you knew her very well,
but not now,
it would be too weird.
Oh okay,
where she got the explosives.
I'll send you a message.
She left me her phone.
Okay.
Tim?
Is it really the coffin?
Yes.
Why?
Because it has this form.
More or less.
Did she not blow up?
No. She jumped or something.
I told you,
she only collected them.
Is she here really?
This is the last SMS
that Lon sent me.
They think she sent it about
ten minutes before jumping.
Do you want to see it
while I read it or not?
No.
It's the...
I'll reach you.
Why here?
I don't know.
Curiosity.
I think we should talk
about what we think.
Yes,
that.
A friend of ours,
the one you met at the funeral.
His sister called me.
I did not know he had a sister.
What did she want?
I don't know, but I tried
not to show it to him.
You are freezing.
Yes.
I have alligator blood.
Literally.
An alligator bit me
when I was five years old.
I almost bled.
His saliva entered my veins,
and since then we
have become one.
To be honest,
it has been very
difficult for me.
I cry a lot.
I also,
but not for the same reason.
It's not that I don't
like him being with us,
but above all I worry
that I can't do anything.
I guess that's it.
Can I say something?
Clearly.
Maybe it's a prejudice because
of what happened with Lon,
but why won't you say "No"?
What do you mean by "No"?
"Don't do it".
Did you tell Lon,
"Don't do it"?
Yes.
I've thought about it.
I know that everything
must be done,
to prevent someone
from committing suicide.
I understand why it is
supposed to be done.
I know it won't work.
It could work.
You never know.
I understand that he thinks...
that it would be
great to blow up,
and become nothing.
I go crazy just
thinking about it.
It is exciting.
Surely it is impossible,
but you never know.
I understand that
he will surely die,
that can leave
me fucked for life.
I thought about telling him
"No, don't do it".
But I have decided
to take the risk.
What are you trying to do?
Explode.
Make me explode.
But...,
nobody or nothing else.
Just me.
Okay.
The other important thing is,
that there will be nothing left.
Or almost nothing.
Only tiny pieces.
Not pieces, if possible.
Maybe fog, if there
is no other option.
You will leave
things behind you.
In that case,
I would like,
that the explosion and what it
leaves behind is so incredible
that people say...
"Thank you,
whoever did this."
Shit.
You can't come here.
Why not?
Because you're too old.
Why are you going out like this?
I am an actor.
A friend of mine is making
a movie down the street.
- That's why I'm...
- You do not really seem like an actor.
I know. It's low budget.
Good.
Tim.
My son bought you
this gift some time ago.
I wanted to give it to you,
but I was too depressed.
What is it?
I don't know.
He thought you would like it,
because you really like piatas.
I never talked with him.
Please...
Alone...
bad.
Friend...
good.
Did you hear? I...
I didn't.
Someone knocked on the door.
How did you hear?
Do you want to go swimming?
Clearly.
Is him.
Sinister.
I think you're fed up with me.
I'm sorry.
I'm in a new phase.
I'm trying...
I'm trying to think
and talk like it's a thing,
and not myself.
Okay.
I think you're in love with me,
and it's nice,
even if it's a little weird.
I mean, thanks, but...
It makes it hard to know
how to tell you something.
Wait, let's go swimming.
I wonder where the
river comes from.
From the mountains.
I'm going to find out.
Shit.
You're good?
Yes,
I have done it
hundreds of times.
So.
Where does the river start?
What?
I don't know.
I still do not know how to say
that to someone who loves me,
so I'll just say it and
see what happens,
I'm going to explode.
I mean on purpose.
I know where and I know why.
It's already decided.
I will try to get
used to the idea,
if you let me sleep with you.
I understand that for you
this deal makes sense, but...
No.
You said you wanted
to think like a thing,
but you don't do it.
If you were one thing,
you would say:
"Of course,
whatever you want."
No.
It's fine.
Thanks for wanting, by the way.
I'll pay you.
May I?
I recently met a girl.
She collected explosives belts.
And I felt we had...
a connection.
Because at that moment she
had already decided to explode.
But she wanted to
commit suicide and die,
and I don't.
I thought,
that when she did it,
She would do it
with one of her belts,
and I thought
that if she did it,
maybe the explosion
would be so big,
that the issue of
the explosive belt,
that was the
defect it had for me,
not caring.
And that excited me,
for obvious reasons.
She committed
suicide three days ago,
but it was from a building.
So,
it was simply
a normal death.
There was a funeral.
I had to see her father.
Her coffin was there.
It had her form.
You could not...
avoid knowing she was there.
You could not help thinking
that she was not alive anymore.
How can I put it...
How do you say?
I hate all the words
there are for that.
Did you cry?
Yes,
yes,
I feel nauseous
just thinking about it.
Even when I tell
you, I feel nauseous.
And what does that
have to do with us?
I don't know.
This is not my specialty.
One day,
when you remember that
you wanted to sleep with me,
you will think:
"God, that was
such a little thing."
I really believe it will happen.
Here it's great.
It's okay to do nothing.
What a brilliant idea.
Thank you.
I almost wish you had
brought a board game.
Thank you.
It seems you've been crying.
Seriously?
It was a while ago.
Do you want to
take a walk with me?
What do you do?
I do not mean school.
Maybe I wanted to
say what you like to do.
That is, you are very young.
No offense.
I am an actor.
Where have I seen you?
So far I've only
been in a movie.
Tim also.
Have you seen bad scary movies
that teenagers make with their friends,
and upload to YouTube?
Not recently.
Then no.
Let's hurry a bit.
Come see this.
Oh okay,
that would have to serve.
I think...
that you should stay away.
Over there.
I think that's fine here.
Can you still see me from there?
Detail?
Yes.
How much detail do you want?
I can see your hair,
but not the hairs.
That should be enough.
Then yes.
I don't know if
I should talk or just do it.
Talk.
Yes.
When I fell off
the bike last year,
It was the most extraordinary
thing that has ever happened to me.
For those who did
not know me before,
I was riding my bike
with my friend Charles,
whom I no longer know.
I was telling him something
and he was listening.
I remember thinking that it was the
most important thing I had ever said.
I think it was about him and me.
I also remember,
he seemed more interested
in me than ever before.
My wheel hit
something and I fell,
and I hit my head.
It happened so fast,
I was still talking when
my head hit the ground.
We never spoke again.
If we crossed by chance,
He would look at me
as if he did not know me.
I don't think he knew me.
He talked about me
in the past with people,
and he even said
how great I was.
I don't care.
This part is not important, but
he was great too,
We had been best friends
since we were five years old.
People said that he
was probably just...
traumatized.
Ye...
yes,
my head made a dreadful
sound when it hit the ground,
but it didn't even bleed.