Petey Wheatstraw (1977) Movie Script
Yes!
I'm Petey Wheatstraw,
the Devil's son-in-law!
The high sheriff of Hell.
I went with Notorius Fatty,
and even made love
to old Lula Bell.
I took today and brought
back yesterday!
Took the 4th of July
and put it in June!
And make leap year
jump over the moon.
I'm not here to brag,
nor here to boast!
I can sit on a tombstone
and produce baby ghosts.
Why I can even remember
the day I was born!
It was the day of that
great Miami, Florida storm!
Release yourself.
He's coming!
- He's coming!
- He's coming!
Oh Jesus!
He's coming.
Oh Jesus, my God.
Doctor, doctor, doctor!
I'm so glad you got here!
She's almost ready now!
Any minute now!
Help me Lord!
My God, she's gonna
have an elephant?!
Is you trying to say my
wife screwed an elephant?
Just get me some water!
Lots of hot water!
Hurry!
Hurry!
It's gonna be all
right, just hold on.
Oh my God!
I've never heard
anything like this
in my life before!
Oh my Lord, oh my God!
Is he coming, is he
coming, is he coming?
Is he coming?
It's here, it's here.
Oh doctor, oh doctor help me!
Help me, Lord have mercy, Jesus!
Come on, come on down.
Come on down, come on down.
Right there, right
there, help me.
Okay, okay.
Ow!
He bit me!
He bit me!
I got him, I got him.
You got him, doctor?
I got him.
Hurry, doctor, hurry!
Help me, mama,
you gotta help me!
Come on, push!
Bear down, bear down!
Push, push, come on!
Yes, yes, yes, he's coming!
He's coming!
My God, it's coming,
it's coming, it's coming!
Bear down, bear down!
Whoa, whoa!
He's coming, push push!
Oh, oh he's coming!
Shees, oh my God!
Are you sure this
isn't an elephant?!
Oh my God!
Ow, that hurts!
It's alive!
It's alive!
It's alive.
Don't no grandy
doctor soppy sucker
gonna hit on me and
get away with it.
Help me, help
me, help me, somebody help!
Gotta come help me.
Take him off me.
Willy!
Help, help me,
Take him off me!
Come on, please!
I know you, you the one that
disturbed me every
night in my sleep!
But I'm your daddy, boy!
You stop it!
Stop it right this minute, boy.
And you get your little narrow
ass over there and stand.
Thank you, doctor.
How much do we owe you?
Nothing, nothing, just let me
get the hell outta here!
Your name will be
Petey Wheatstraw.
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Well if it ain't
little Petey Wheatstraw.
You mean Punky Wheatstraw.
Superstar
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Do not be alarmed.
I am a friend.
It took courage and bravery
to fight them as you did.
Imma get them back for this
even if it takes my whole life,
Imma get all of 'em one by one.
Would you spend your
whole life seeking revenge?
What do you mean?
Who are you anyway?
I am Bantu, and you?
Petey, Petey Wheatstraw.
Wisdom is the
way of the world.
There's much you do
not understand, son.
I will teach you the
ancient oriental ways.
I'll tell you a story
About the brave
man and the storm
Heavy now His glory
For a brother was born
He met a man as a boy
Who taught him that
there was no toil
Taught him how to get around
All the snakes
that he rolled around
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The Devil's son-in-law
Petey Wheatstraw, he's no boy
King of comedy, a superstar
The world's a stage
in which he plays
Living and loving
his only game
Women, they fall at his feet
While men fear him
out there in the street
His name brings
terror to all of those
Who tried to cross
him once before
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The Devil's son-in-law
Leroy's killing,
they're in a spot
The fire burned him
and it's really hot
You are ready now.
I have taught you
all the mysteries
of the world and the
art of self defense.
I owe you much, Bantu,
I am most grateful,
but there's only one
thing that bothers me.
Yes?
Well this is
not what I dreamed
of doing with my life,
I've always wanted
to be on stage
making people laugh.
You know a, a---
A comedian?
Yeah, so I can
try and save the
world from some of its miseries.
Is it possible?
Yes it's possible.
Stand up.
You will always love and respect
those who always
love and respect you.
You will take no
abuse from any man
living or dead.
You will use your wisdom as
a weapon against all evil.
Thank you.
My my my my my, what an ass.
I've always liked
women with big asses.
Some asses for need, but
this ass is for please.
I see we have another
comedian in the house!
You still got a
lot of ass, mama.
I say one thing,
if this place would
catch on fire, they'd tell
everybody to haul ass,
you would have to make 10 trips.
Hey man, you can't talk
to my woman like that.
Shut up!
Shut your ugly, old
time, ancient ass up!
If you say one more word to me,
I'll have that lady
take one of her
titties and beat
the shit out of you.
And I ain't lying either!
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you very much.
I am what I am and I'm gonna be
the very best of what I am.
And for those who don't
like me confidentially,
I don't give a damn.
I'd like to thank
you for letting
me be myself, thank you!
Ladies and gentlemen, Petey!
Petey, Petey Wheatstraw!
How did we do tonight, Jimmy?
Over the boat, Pete,
things looks good, brother
We gotta hurry 'cause
we got a plane to catch.
Take me with you, Petey.
Oh Sheila, we've been through
this many times, you
know the score, baby.
Sheila, baby, you
know how it is with
us honey, you've got
to hang on in there.
You're gonna see that
Nell bitch, ain't ya?
Oh Sheila, listen,
you know the business,
baby, I'll send
for you next week.
And what about Nell?
What about Nell, baby, you
know it's only me and you!
Sheila, baby,
don't be so uptight,
I'll see that you get a
plane ticket next week.
Hey Petey, beautiful man,
really good this time, we
got to do it again real soon.
Y'all take it slow,
Jimmy, it was a pleasure.
Don't mean to run,
but I got something
planned for me, takin' off.
Hang in there, doc.
Okay y'all, let's
get out of here.
I hope this little
business adventure
turns out the way
it's supposed to.
100 grand is a lot of
money and this place
doesn't look like it
holds over 200 people.
This is not it.
We got a place over
on the East side
that holds over 2,000 people.
And I guarantee you
this'll be the biggest show
to hit this city
in quite some time.
With the kind of cash that you
just loaned us, we can't miss!
Right, Skillet?
Right!
We've checked out all
the risks very carefully.
Mr. White, we're gonna give you
a 20% return on all your money.
You won't be sorry.
No siree.
I hope not.
For that kind of money the
company can get a little ugly.
But for some reason I
think it's gonna work.
Soft season, all the good
acts are on the road.
With that kind of
money you'll be
able to advertise
and pull 'em in.
Now are you sure no
one's coming into town?
Mr. White, stop worrying.
We have no competition
for at least
three or more months
from now, right Skillet?
Happy times are right
around the corner.
Mr. White, you about to become
the luckiest investor
of the century.
Yeah, or lose and become the
most dangerous man in town.
Dangerous for you guys that is.
I'll keep in touch.
Keep the faith.
And
keep the bankroll.
Skillet, let's get started.
Yeah, let's get started.
Madam Wright,
come on over here.
Listen, we need singers.
We need musicians,
we need dancers.
Lookie here, the kind of money
we got, we can do some booking.
- We gonna party now!
- That's right!
We living, brother!
Living? Living?
Living between the
sky and the Earth
and ain't touching dirt nowhere!
Nowhere!
Yeah, that song so
good, and I'm your daddy,
The Hitman, on XERA Radio!
Moving right along, as
we told you earlier,
it's celebrity time.
The one and only Mr.
Excitement himself,
Petey Wheatstraw,
what's happening man?
I'm glad to be back in town.
You know I'm opening
at Steve's Den
with my all girls toy show.
Hey I know it's
gonna be a good show.
Tell us about this 'cause I know
it's gonna be a
right all situation.
All I can say is to the people
out there in radio
land I want to
see your face in the place
and your feet under the seat
so you can put some
zip in your hip
and slide in your glide.
Big fat girl
strutting in there but oh!
Just a minute baby.
And that's June
15th at Steve's Den.
I'll talk to you later, baby.
Be there!
Our opening night?!
The 15th?
Leroy!
Leroy!
I gotta talk to you, partner.
Man, you made me
blow my damn shot!
Wait a minute!
I just learned on the radio
Petey Wheatstraw is in town.
You what?!
He's gonna open show
there on June the 15th!
Leroy, we can't stand
up to competition,
he'll kill us for sure.
Remember what Mr. White
said about his money.
if we don't pay him back?
We dead, partner, what
are we gonna do Leroy?
What we gonna do?
Shut up and let me think!
What you got up
your sleeve, partner?
Wait, I'll call
Petey on the phone.
See if I can get
him to postpone.
Dig it.
And if that don't
work, there's other ways
to make him give in.
Get Willy on the phone quick!
I'll get him on the phone.
Rack man, rack 'em up!
Well Steve, you got the joint
looking good, but
you still ain't
done shit with that
small dressing room,
you know Petey don't like
no small dressing room, man.
Damn right, that dressing room
ain't big enough to fart in.
You didn't come
here to fart or shit,
you came here to do your thing!
But your dressing room still
looks like a shit house!
I got it looking
like a shit house
because of one reason,
Petey, let me tell you.
The way a person shit tells if
they have love or larceny.
See, people that have
love in their heart,
they sit down and they shit.
Reach for the toilet paper,
wipe that shitty ass,
and then they flush it down.
People that have
larceny, they sit down
and they shit ,
wipe that shitty ass, but
because they have larceny,
before they flush it down,
they have to turn around
and peep at that shit.
Anybody don't trust their own
asshole must have larceny.
And it still looks like a
shit house, can you dig it?
Let me say this, Petey.
We got the posters ready,
and man we are ready
to roll this weekend.
Steve, you mean to tell me
you haven't got the posters up
and we getting ready
to open next week?
Well never mind
all that Petey.
Anyway, I put my boy
right over there.
Can I help, Ted?
No Larry, you'd
just be in the way.
Oh Ted, you haven't seen your
brother in four months,
why don't you let
him come along?
Come on, T.
Okay, you can help.
I'll go and get changed
and we'll get started.
Matter of fact I'll kick in a
few bucks for the little man.
What?
Steve, you are
volunteering to pay somebody?
Don't you be so
cold on my man.
Oh baby, don't worry
about it, they only kidding.
Petey, why don't
y'all drink up man,
my lady's fixin' to poo, we
got to get on out of here.
Let's drink a toast to
a successful engagement.
Hey, stop!
God damn!
These dope-headed
junkies make me sick!
That's why niggers in the
ghetto can't have shit!
Hey you, get back!
Jimmy, you should do
something, help him!
I got the money, what the
hell you think I can do,
I can't take those damn junkies!
Shit!
Come on, nigger, scram, man!
Come on!
Come on, fight it!
Y'all got a lot of
nerve messing with my car.
Penny addict junkies,
that's all you are.
You'll take from your
mama, you'll even take
the limbs off of a tree!
But I'm gonna kick your
ass for messing with me.
All right, you clowns,
up on your feet.
You going back to
my car and putting
my shit back just
like you found it!
All right, let's go!
All right, move!
Ladies and gentlemen, I want you
to remember their faces
so you can know who's
breaking into your places!
If they do it to me,
they'll do it to you!
So I want you to stick your foot
up their ass the
next time they do!
But Leroy, what we gonna do?
If he's gonna put on a show--
Shut up!
I'm trying to think!
- Willie!
- Yeah, boss?
I want you to keep an eye on
- Petey and his boys.
- Right.
I wanna know every move they
make day and night.
Take some of the boys
and call me every
hour on the hour.
Right.
Castro, Brian, let's go.
But Leroy!
If he's gonna put on a show--
You said that already!
He's probably staying
at Nell's place.
We'll call him.
Maybe we can get him
to change his mind.
Change his mind?
After what we did to Petey?
He'll come through that
phone and strangle us.
Petey knows the score now.
He's on our terrain now.
All we gotta do is put a little
pressure on him, he'll yield.
Leroy, I don't think--
Don't think!
Just get Nell on the phone.
I wanna talk to Petey.
Loving you
Touching you
It's always on my mind
Thinking of kisses on you
Look, what is it
with you, Petey?
Don't I even turn
you on a little?
Nell, you know I don't like to
mix business with pleasure.
It's always business with you.
You know how I feel about you.
Nell, I didn't mean
to hurt you, baby.
Come over here.
Let's give it a whirl.
May not even be as
bad as I think it is.
Shit.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you, now don't be long.
Baby, this is
gonna be the shortest
phone call in Bell
Telephone's history.
Can you dig it?
Mmmhm.
Petey, how you doing, brother?
Don't brother
me, you no business
barn rat soup eatin'
son of a bitch!
I want you and that
fat slob partner
of yours to pay me the
money ya'll owe me!
That's exactly
what I was calling you for.
I want to pay you back,
but on one condition.
Condition my ass!
It's y'all that owe me!
I will condition you,
I'll put my foot up you
and that big bear's ass both!
Look Petey, Skillet and I are
in a bad position.
You see, we want you to postpone
your engagement
for a few months.
We borrowed a big piece of money
and we can't afford
your competition.
You have the nerve to call me
and ask me to cancel
my engagement!
I wouldn't stop my show if you
needed ice water in hell!
So that's the way you
wanna play, huh nigga?
Well you know two of us
can play that, you hear?
Why you.
What was that all about?
Nell, listen, I
want you to call
Jimmy and the boys
because the shit
look like it's done hit the fan.
What about
our little party?
It'll have to wait.
This is money.
Business, baby.
As you know, romance without
finance is a damn nuisance.
Loving you
Touching you
Yeah?
I'm still following
this Jackson dude, boss.
He's hanging posters
all over the place.
Well rough him up a bit.
Petey won't bend,
so we'll bend him.
I'm on it on.
Shut up!
Mmm mmm, this is
sho' 'nuff good!
Mmmhmm!
Ted, the next time you leave
are you gonna be gone long?
I don't know, why?
'Cause
when you're gone
I don't have no one to talk to.
You talk to mama, don't you?
Yeah, but she's
always working.
She be too tired.
Well what do you
do in the meantime?
Swish!
Play basketball 'cause I'm
gonna be a basketball star.
And skip school.
Yeah, mama told me
what you been doing.
Look, if you wanna
be a basketball star,
you're gonna have to
stop skipping school.
You think Jabbar skipped school?
No he didn't and
neither can you.
Now I want you to
raise your right hand
and swear that you
won't skip again.
Come on.
Come on!
I swear I won't
skip no more school.
If Jabbar didn't
then I won't neither.
My man!
Now I want you to go
inside and tell mama
I'll be a little late and
not to wait up for me.
Okay.
Swish.
Two points.
You've been pretty
busy today, pal.
Too bad you won't be able
to work like that tomorrow.
'Cause your arm's
gonna be broke.
What are you
talking about, mister?
Larry, go inside.
No, I'm staying with you.
I said go inside!
Ted, he's got a gun!
Larry, Larry!
Larry!
Larry!
Oh my God, he shot my brother!
I can't see you, Ted.
I feel, I--
Don't talk, Larry.
It's gonna be all right.
I saw the whole thing,
I got the license
plates and everything.
I called the police
and the ambulance
and they're on their way now.
I won't skip
no more school.
I promise not.
Oh no!
No!
Larry!
No!
Larry.
My brother!
Larry!
Oh God, Larry!
Precious Lord
Take my hand
Lead me on
Let me stand
I am tired
I am weak
I am worn
Through the storm
The Lord giveth.
And the Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Lord is my Sheperd,
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie
down in green pastures.
Precious Lord
And lead me home
Don't panic!
Petey?
Petey Wheatstraw.
Petey Wheatstraw.
Who are you, man?
My card.
Lou Cipher?
A small mistake on
the part of the printer.
Actually it's
pronounced Lucifer.
Are you responsible
for all this madness?
In most cases I am, but
in this particular instance
I happened to walk
upon this disaster.
You may stand up.
Where am I?
Where am I?
Where am I at?
Your new home, Petey, if
everything works out well.
Well if you're wondering,
Petey, you're quite dead.
And what about all
of these other people?
Are they?
The ones that
have been shot, yes.
The others are, you
might say, out to lunch.
But what do you
want from me, man?
My my, you're quite direct.
I like that.
She will like that too.
She who?
We'll talk about that later.
Your problem seems
to be right now.
I have a proposition
to offer you,
Petey, are you
willing to listen?
Your propositions you
always wind up on top.
Just like the shit that
you done to Adam and Eve.
Oh Petey, I was young then.
My salad days.
My style today is much
more sophisticated.
Well what do you
want from me now?
A son.
A son?
You got to be sick!
How in the hell can
I give you a son?
By simply marrying
my daughter.
What's in the
deal for me, man?
Gaze upon the root of all this
madness as you put it.
Well?
You don't have to worry
about Petey no more, boss.
He's resting in peace.
Good.
Now that he's resting in peace,
we can rest in peace too.
Lively times!
Happy times!
Happy times, yeah.
Leroy and Skillet.
I knew it was them two big
fat slobby son of a bitches!
Yes, they felt threatened
by your upcoming show in town.
Well why kill a little
boy like that in cold blood?
If you would just calm
down a moment and listen,
perhaps we can work things out.
I'm listening.
Marry my daughter
and give her a child.
And I will arrange it for
you to have your life back.
To strut and fret your
hour upon the stage again.
Revenge will be yours,
Petey Wheatstraw.
No, this is madness
man, you got to be sick.
Well Petey, prepare to die.
Let your
wisdom be your weapon.
Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.
All right.
I'll marry your daughter
and give her this son
that you need so badly.
By the way, what does
your daughter look like?
Gee, I hope beauty has nothing
to do with our proposition.
Oh hell no, man, uh uh.
No no no, I won't marry
her, deal or no deal.
Kill me, man, kill me, uh umm.
Yes, my daughter's
quite unfortunate.
Very well, Petey.
Wisdom, wisdom.
All right, I'll marry her.
You'll be hearing from
me from time to time.
It will be as though none
of this ever happened.
And the
Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Lord is my sheperd.
I shall not want.
Oh Lord, my baby.
Petey, how could
that be, I know--
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
don't worry about it,
I'll explain it to you later.
Thank you, dear.
That's the way it was.
I'm not lying.
That's some crazy
shit, isn't it?
Crazy, yeah, but man you
making a deal with the Devil.
You know how things
like that turn out.
And anyway, I think
I'd rather be dead
than marry someone ugly as that!
The main thing
man, I'm still alive.
Now listen, I can
figure out a way
to keep from marrying
the Devil's daughter,
but the main thing we've got to
deal with Leroy and
Skillet right now.
But Petey, I'm scared.
Now you know how
powerful the Devil is,
and if you cross him,
he's gonna be mad as hell.
I mean heaven.
Oh shit.
Oh Nell, you always
worry, now you know
I can take care of things.
Ted!
Ted!
Are you all right?
Man, I ain't gonna rest
until I settle with
Scarface Willie.
Right this way, ladies.
It's that little punk again.
Come on, chump!
Come on!
We'll fix his ass
for keeps it this time.
Come on!
Hey man, come on, come on!
Thought you
would've done learned
your lesson by now,
little brother.
Guess you one of them
hard-headed niggers.
Hold it, Bruce Lee!
See now you too
dangerous to have around.
I'm gonna arrange it so
you can be with Petey
and your kid brother
for all time!
Start praying, pal!
What's the matter, Willie,
the cat got your tongue?!
I oughta make you eat this gun!
But I thought--
Yes, tell your
boss I'm still alive
and I'm mad as a hornet
in a bumblebee hive!
I want you to tell
your boss that
his days is numbered
and his luck is bad!
So son of a bitch, !
Now get your ugly ass on!
Get!
Move!
Why didn't you
let me finish him?
Oh Ted, there will be
revenge on all of them for you,
don't worry about it.
Let's make it.
Willie, you sure it was him?
You're sure you got him?
Well how in the hell
can he still be alive?
Maybe he missed him.
I know he was dead.
Nobody could've stood the lead
we pumped into him, nobody!
I swear, Leroy!
I saw him get hit too, boss.
He must've took about
four or five slugs.
Well how in the hell can he
still be out there
walking around?
Somebody tell me!
What we gonna do, Leroy?
Shut up and let me think!
I gotta think.
Phew, this is killing me!
Let him think,
everybody, let him think.
What happened to him?
I think Willie's smell
was too much for him.
I think I'm
gonna pass out too.
Willie, you get your
stinkin' ass out of here!
Get out of here and go clean up!
And get back here on the double!
Somebody open a window
or something, damn.
I've got it!
Well come on with it.
He lives in Nell's place.
Right.
We never did finish our
little party the other night,
and now we're all alone
and there's no one
here to bother us,
so I'll just take the
phone off the hook.
Well I'll be damned.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you, now don't be long.
Yes Petey, there's two things
I neglected to tell you.
One, you will have powers
beyond your wildest dreams.
All you have to do is
use my magical cane.
It contains all of my secrets.
Two, you must be careful
where and how you use it.
It will serve every
purpose you will ever need.
All you have to do is
wield the cane, Petey,
and my power is yours.
Well thanks for calling, Lou.
Well who's Lou?
Don't worry about it, baby,
let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.
Oh at last, I'm
gonna put something
on you you won't forget.
Stop it!
You guys are
tearing up my place!
Police!
Get away from me!
Petey!
Petey!
Oh my vase, hey I'm not
through paying for this!
Petey!
Be careful!
Petey, watch out!
Come on, come on, come on.
Get up, come on.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you.
Yes.
Petey, I suggest you
pick up that cane tonight.
At the rate your friends
Skillet and Leroy are going,
they might surprise
you at any moment.
And you do want to protect
yourself the next time.
Thanks again.
Hello?
Petey?
What?
Graveyard?
Man, at a time like this?
Aw shit.
Petey!
Petey!
Sure had a
wonderful time tonight!
Oh shit, really blew my lid.
Everybody tell me I did.
Oh boy did I party up in
this tonight.
Still takes me so
damn long to get home,
gee, Maple's gonna be
wondering about me.
My house look like it done got
a little bit small too.
Maple!
Open the door, baby,
your baby home!
Open the door, woman!
Your out here,
I know you're in
there, baby, let me in!
That woman don't
wanna let me in.
It's , woman let me in!
You won't come open,
well I'll just go all,
I ain't gonna tell you where
I'm going, somewhere else.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Petey, what are we looking
for in this graveyard?
Just a little further.
Petey!
Listen, listen!
I don't hear nothing, man.
Well I hear something, listen.
Come on, man, I
don't hear nothing.
That's it Pete!
Come over here, man.
Come over here, you
scared fool you!
Cold down here
Cold down here.
Well no
wonder you cold,
you damn fool, you done kicked
all the dirt off of you!
Help me!
Come on, let's do
what we come here for
and let's get out of here.
Oh shit man,
why you so scared?
Hell, this is a graveyard!
Let's put some
dirt on him, Jimmy.
Man, I ain't gonna
put nothing on him.
Come on, let's get what
you got and get outta here!
Come on, man!
Come on man, don't
be so scared, come on!
Just a little further.
Ah, there it is.
The tire.
Man, shit, you come
out here to get a tire,
now you could've gotten
a tire in the morning!
Now we can leave.
I've gots what I come here for.
What's that for?
Come on, come on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.
Come on man, come on!
Come back here, Jimmy!
What's wrong with you?!
Put those
corks in the cooler!
How many times do I
have to tell you that?
What is that plant
doing over there?
Put it on the other
side of the building!
Right.
Then get up on that ladder and
fix that better than that.
Get that shit down from
there, and what are you doing?
Move that out from over there!
Let's get moving!
Hey boss!
Hello!
Mr. White!
Mr. White, if this
ain't the best
investment that you
ever made in your life,
I'll stand on my head, it's big!
It's colossal.
It's not even open yet.
Don't try and sell
me, sell tickets.
Oh they
selling by the hundreds
Mr. White, by the hundreds.
Good.
Now what about this
Wheatstraw character?
I understand he's
opening a show nearby.
Now I hope he's no
competition to you guys.
No siree, Mr. White.
We already killed--
Uh, what my partner's
trying to say,
we've killed the idea
of Mr. Wheatstraw
opening a show here.
See, he's a friend of ours.
Okay fine.
Hold five tickets for me
and my friends, front row.
We'll announce
you too, Mr. White.
Nothing's too good for
you and your friends,
nothing's too good.
Maybe this is a
good deal after all.
The wife will love it.
She goes for stuff like this.
Well I'll see you guys
tomorrow night at the opening.
Oh, and break your legs.
He likes to make jokes.
Oh Leroy.
If Petey opens
the show, we dead,
partner, we dead, you know that.
If I had good
people around working,
Petey would've been out
the way a long time ago.
Boss, I'm telling
you, he's got
some kind of power or something.
I mean--
Boss, you know I don't
believe in that kind
of shit either, but
it's true, it's weird.
Don't give me that
supernatural shit!
You just didn't do your job!
No!
Willie, I'm giving
you one more chance.
If you blow this one,
I'll knock your ass
in the middle of next week and
be ready for you again Saturday.
You understand?
Boss, I--
Don't but boss me, I
want his show stopped!
Oughta ask the book, you
just didn't do your job, boy!
We've gone too
far to turn around!
Leroy and Skillet
has gone too far.
They want their
cake and eat it too.
You know, thicker.
Well you know how
greedy they are.
Plus they've always
been jealous of you,
haven't they, Jimmy?
You know how it is,
hun, I ain't got time
to even think about
Skillet and Leroy.
I'm sorry I was late,
I just got off work
and my piano player
couldn't make it,
but I can sing acapella.
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
Damn, who in the
hell is that bitch?
She must be singing for Jimmy.
- Singing for who?
- For you.
I ain't never see
that woman before.
Well she can't be
singing for Petey.
Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
What's going on?
What the shit is going on?
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
Better not .
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
Petey, let go of the thing.
Who in there?
Petey, I told you that cane.
They swore to be
true to each other
And true as the stars above
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
It's leading
me to the bathroom!
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
A bomb!
A bomb!
Take it outside,
take it outside.
As true as the stars above
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
They swore to be
true to each other
As true as the stars above
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
Take it outside,
take it outside!
Hey, where's everybody going?
Do I get the job?
I got another number.
Get out of there, it's a bomb!
Petey!
Petey, are you all right?
Well damn, Petey,
look at that shit,
them suckers are trying
to play for keeps!
Man, they tried to
blow up my damn joint!
Please give into 'em Petey,
somebody is gonna get hurt.
We got to get
this shit straight!
Nell, go and get tickets
to Leroy and Skillet.
You damn right 'cause
I think we need to go.
What, Petey, are you crazy?
Don't you know what
they'll do to you?
I'm gonna give them an opening
that they will never forget!
Damn right!
Mister White!
Good evening, boys.
Good
evening, Mr. White.
How you doing, sir?
Oh, this is my wife Joanne.
And her sister Babs.
Good evening.
My my, she's more lovelier
than you ever described.
Right this way, folks.
I got a front way table for ya.
Right this way.
Hey man, don't I know
you from somewhere?
Hell no, man,
you don't know me.
Jimmy, I'm so sick
and tired of these
Americans talking
about they know me,
let's get the girls
and leave here.
No man, do not
be like that, man.
We come to see a
show, why don't we
go in and enjoy ourselves,
do not worry about it.
Very well, step aside, you
fat-faced son of a bitch.
Have a good evening, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You've been listening
to the soul sounds
of Clive Maron and Her,
it is showtime now.
So let's welcome to the floor
two of the funniest
men in show business.
None other than
Leroy and Skillet!
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce to you
the ones that made it
possible for me and Skillet
to bring this big
show to you tonight.
Seated right here in front of me
is none other than
Mr. And Mrs. White
and their beautiful guest,
give 'em a great
round of applause!
Leroy!
Hey Skillet, what's going on?
I heard you were
smart, partner.
I am smart, Skillet.
You smart?
I'm smart, Skillet.
If you're so smart,
answer me this.
Answer you what?
If you have $23.18
in one pocket.
$23.18 in one pocket.
And $13.42 in
the other pocket.
$13.42 cents in
the other pocket.
What would you have?
I'd have on
somebody else's pants,
they sure wouldn't be mine.
Do it now, Petey, do it now.
Uncross your legs
whitey, you gonna choke
your fool self to death.
Leroy!
What's the matter with you?
I don't know, Skillet.
I opened my mouth
and it just came out.
Sorry folks, I hope
you didn't get offended.
My partner gets carried
away a little bit at a time.
Speaking of carrying away,
they should carry
this bitch away
sitting on that
blue satin bedsheet.
What's the matter, mama,
you think a nigger don't know
a bedsheet when he see one?
Leroy!
You gonna get us killed, man!
I really don't know
what's happening.
It's working,
Petey, it's working.
Sorry, folks.
I hope we didn't put too much
water in your damn drinks.
You assholes!
Oh what am I saying?!
Moving right along, folks.
We'd like to bring
our next act to you.
So let's meet and
greet Miss Tami Small.
Come on, Skillet,
let's get outta here!
Music got me where I am and
I'm feeling fine, fine yeah
I'm feeling good
like I knew I would
We got the loving mind
Petey, how did you
make that cane do that?
Tami, what the hell
happened to you up there?
What happened?!
Now I will fix
both of 'em for good!
What the hell's
going on out there?
I don't know.
Sound like they're
tearing the place apart.
What's goin' on in there?
Where's the key?
Where is it?
I don't know, I
can't find the key!
What's the matter, chump?
Can't find your key?
You got it all wrong!
No, no!
I'm gonna take you
apart piece by piece!
Then I'm gonna kill you!
Like you killed my brother!
What's the matter, Willie?
Leroy!
What is it, Skillet?
You should've
remembered what I told ya!
What was that, Skillet?
Money's the root of all evil!
Well Skillet, it
look like they've
been our root.
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute, !
That'll take care of them two
big fat slobby son of a bitches.
Right on, Petey, let's go.
Oh Jimmy, where's Ted?
Don't you die on me, man!
Don't you cheat me!
You don't
cheat me out of this!
Don't cheat me!
Don't cheat me!
Ted!
It's over, it's over man.
Come on, come on, let's go.
It's over.
Come on, Ted.
It's over.
Well pet, what do you think?
Is he?
Oh he's divinely sexy!
And he's all yours, my pet.
Now we can make preparations
for your wedding.
Oh Father, my joy is
as boundless as the sea.
And just as deep.
The both are infinite.
Big Daddy, wait a
minute now, I have labored
all day long cooking this
dinner over this stove
and I had the kids waiting.
You mean you gonna walk
off and leave like that?
I wanted to honey, but I gotta
make this meeting,
see you later.
Hey baby, what's happening?
Oh hi, hun.
How you doing?
I see what's happening,
I knew I'd catch you
over here with this
young woman in this car!
Baby, please, wait a minute--
Hell no, you couldn't
pay to wait a minute.
You ain't nothing
but a damn fool!
Out here fooling around
with these young women!
I knew I'd get you someday
and you're trapped!
Let me explain
it to you, okay?
Baby please!
Shut up talking to me!
Come on, you don't
understand, let me--
This is your last meeting!
Wait!
Don't kill him, ma'am!
I have one wish I will
grant you, what might it be?
He's a dog, he's a damn dog.
Just turn him into a
little black puppy.
That wish will be granted.
How did you do that?
I got the power,
mama, that's how.
I got the power.
Thank you, mister.
Come on, sugar, mama gonna take
you home and give
you some dinner.
Some dog food!
Good morning miss,
can you tell me
where to find Mr. Wheatstraw,
Mr. Petey Wheatstraw?
Here's not here right now,
but I'm his personal
secretary, can I help you?
Not really.
I much prefer to
speak to him myself.
Do you have any idea
when he will be back?
Later on this afternoon.
Are you sure I can't help you?
Quite sure, young lady.
Quite sure.
You give him this
card and you tell him
to contact me right away.
Bye.
One minute it was over
The next minute
was all brand new
Oh, on ghetto street, y'all
What's this thing
happening to you
Ghetto street, USA
Down here where we live ya'll
Ghetto street, USA
My, my, my, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Don't ever do it
anymore, did you hear me?
You hear me?
For that I'm gonna comb
your nappy head for you!
Only people
A hard up year ago
To welcome all the joy, y'all
With an open soul
Looking through the eyes
Of a small gentle child
It isn't so bad, y'all
If it makes a life worth while
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Down here where we live, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Down where the streets
are milk and honey
Ghetto street, USA
I believe in it
Taking a holiday
Between fantasy and reality
Apart in a small degree
Fantasy in one
man's eyes, y'all
Reality's too plain to see
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Down there where
they live, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Sometimes I get lonely
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
See people sleeping
on the street
Ghetto street, USA
When I look at
the little girls
Ghetto street, USA
Walk around hungry with
no shoes on their feet
Ghetto street, USA
Oh Lord
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Come on baby
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
The ghetto baby
Ghetto street, USA
I wanna tell you about it baby
You and I know baby
Sometime now the
things oughta be
Yes you, we're looking
for a blessing, child
Come down to the ghetto street
In the ghetto
Here reality and soul, y'all
Arrives in us plain to see
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Oh Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
In the ghetto
Down, down, down
Ghetto street, USA
Down here in the ghetto
Down down down
Down down down
But then I feel all right baby
Oh baby
Down in the ghetto
Down in the ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Yeah yeah
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Hey Petey!
Look, I'll call you back, okay?
Yes, Nell?
A man came by here
looking for you.
A man?
What was his name?
Well he left his card.
It was right there, I don't
know what happened to it.
Well what did he look like?
A weirdo.
Shit, that's all
I've been running
into since I've been
in here, is weirdos,
one after another.
Well this one
was really strange,
he wouldn't tell
me what he wanted.
Nell, I've got to
get my act together
for the opening, I'm going
upstairs and rehearse.
I don't want to see anyone.
Well I'll make sure
you are not disturbed.
Thanks Nell.
You're welcome.
Good afternoon, Petey,
there's no need for that.
It's me.
Lou.
Oh Lou.
How have you been?
I've been fine, Petey.
I saw your heroic act today.
The little boy.
He was mine you know.
You shouldn't use
that cane so loosely.
Well it was lying
around doing nothing,
so I thought I would
put it to some use.
You haven't forgotten
our deal, have you Petey?
I've kept up my end of the
bargain, now it's your turn.
I wouldn't miss
it for the world.
I'm looking forward to it.
Good.
Then prepare yourself
for the wedding.
Tomorrow.
Why so soon?
I came to your aid soon.
Don't you think one good
deed deserves another?
Where's this wedding
gonna take place?
Down there of course.
Incidentally, you
can give me the cane.
I need this cane
for another day.
Okay, Petey.
I suppose it'll be all right.
Just as long as
you don't interfere
with any of my actions.
Don't have to worry.
I won't give you any trouble.
Very good.
I'll pick you up tomorrow
night about 11:30.
I'll be waiting, Lou.
Or should I say Father?
It doesn't matter!
Just marry her so I can rest.
Goodbye, Petey.
Goodbye, Father.
Petey, how did that
man get in there?
I've been right here all day.
Just call Jimmy and
get him on the phone,
I'll explain later.
Look like the shit
is gonna hit the fan.
Petey, who was that man?
That's Lucifer,
ol' Satan himself.
I knew it!
I could feel something
strange about him.
Petey, what are you gonna do?
Nell don't ask so many
questions, do as I say.
Call Jimmy right away.
Okay, all right.
Jimmy, I got to find a way
to keep from marrying
this ugly bitch.
This ho is so ugly she can scare
a hungry bulldog off the
back of a meat truck.
Call Lucifer up and tell him
you got the claps and you wanna
take a few years to
clear your system up.
Man, that's not
a few year affair,
that's only a few day affair.
Well hell, tell him you
got the Alabama claps.
I got it, Nell,
give me the phone.
But the bitch is
still ugly enough
to break daylight with her fist.
Now what you fixin' to do?
I'm gonna call Lucifer.
No need to call him, he
know he got an ugly bitch.
Hello?
Lou, listen.
I've got a question to ask you.
Yes, I'd like to go into
meditation before my wedding.
Meditation?
What do you mean meditation?
Well my father was a
guru and he said to me
"Son, my only son,"
says "it would be nice
"if you would meditate
before your wedding."
Do you have to?
Yes, old Father
would like it, Lou.
Very well.
Just as long as you are there.
I'll be there, but Lou,
remember I'll be
in deep meditation.
Bye, Father.
Meditation?
Man, you don't know
about no damn meditation!
Jimmy,
you know you used
to be good at making things.
Yeah, so what's that mean?
I want you to make a
mask that looks like me.
And we'll go and get a wino
and we'll dope that
sucker up not with wine,
but with the heavy shit.
We'll put that mask on him and
when Lou comes to pick me
up we'll let him take him.
And by the time he
find out it ain't me,
we'll be all the
way across country.
Now where are you
gonna find a wino?
Down at the Dewdrop Inn.
If you go down there dressed
like that you'll drop in.
There one
is over there, Jimmy.
Where?
You see
him right there.
Man look at that asshole,
don't you know he too fat?
You right, he is all
butt and gut, but he'll do.
Let's dope up that son of a gun
and carry him to ol' Lou.
Well give me the shit
then, let me get him ready.
When I get him set
up, I want y'all
to come right out
there soon as I get him
to turn around and do
it to him, you hear?
Get him ready.
What's happening, Uncle Jake?
I haven't seen you
in three years.
Man I've been back
in town a week,
I've been looking
for, where you been?
I'm not your Uncle Jake!
You'll be my uncle
now, you fat rascal,
you and anything else
I want you to be.
Damn, looks
just like Petey!
How long will this
mask last, Jimmy?
At least a couple days.
Good.
I'll tell my Father
not to disturb
my meditation for
a couple of weeks.
What about y'alls honeymoon?
Yeah, suppose the ugly broad
want some and she
started playing
around with that damn
wino and nothing happens?
Then she'll know how I feel.
Don't worry, don't worry.
She will never know
the difference.
But Petey, suppose
Lucifer finds out
we done crossed him, man you
know the shit's gonna fly.
Listen, I'd rather
for the shit to fly
than for me to have to
marry that ugly bitch.
But you know that weird
dude don't take no shit.
Just remember one thing.
What's that?
I've got his
cane and that makes
me just as powerful as he.
There it is, it's finished.
All right, let's put it on
the wino and see how it fits.
Well Petey, there you
lay and here you stand.
But if ol' Lucifer find out,
I'm gonna tell you there'll
be some shit in the sand.
It's weird.
Petey, he looks just like you.
Well kiss my Aunt Rhoda's ass.
resemble me.
I tell you what we
do, call my Father
and tell him that I am
ready to be picked up.
Where am I supposed
to sleep tonight?
Baby, stay here, ain't
nothing but a wino,
he'll be out for
two, three days.
Petey, I'm not staying
here with no derelict.
I'll tell you what, we'll rent
a motel room for the night.
Good.
Petey, I still
think you oughta
marry the ugly old
rascal and figure how to
get you a divorce when
you get down in hell.
Don't worry about
it, it'll work.
Let's cover the wino up and
get the hell outta here.
Damn, time sure is going
slow, it's only three o'clock.
I wish we could get
this shit over with,
this is worrying
the hell out of me.
Why, why did you
have to meet him
here in my place man?!
Oh Petey, I'm so scared.
I mean what if
something goes wrong?
We may never see
each other again.
Now don't worry about it.
Everything's gonna
be all right, baby.
Petey, it's him.
Uh oh!
Don't worry about it.
Everybody just smile.
Good afternoon,
Petey and friends.
Good afternoon, Father.
Ah, Petey, I feel
great, just great!
Father, why are
you here so soon?
I thought you were coming down
about 11 o'clock tonight?
Oh Petey, I came by to
give you a pre-wedding gift.
If your friends will
excuse you for awhile.
I'm going away with my
Father for a little while.
I want y'all to take
care of the fort.
Can you dig it?
Father!
I hope I'll see you later.
Wait a minute, man, where
in the hell are we going?
My, you're quite edgy.
Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose.
I wanna know about this gift
you've been telling me about.
It's just up
the street, Petey.
Come along!
Man, if you've
got to run for it
it must be a groovy situation.
That's the spirit!
Oh Father, why you
bringing me here?
Look like this place
been closed for years.
Enter, my son.
Go go go go.
Hmmm?
Come on, that's the spirit.
Back, back!
Back back back!
Damn, father!
You having trouble
trying to find
a husband for your daughter.
You ain't gonna never
find a wife for your son.
That's not my son.
Your very own
bachelor party, Petey.
Father, there's
no one here but us.
But father!
How in the world?
When I was
young, I always wanted one.
Never did though.
Have fun, Petey.
Petey.
Petey.
Petey.
He's indeed strong.
I'll never forget
this raggedy old shack.
If I ever get a chance
I'll damn sure come back.
A gift from my Father
that's against the law,
but you girls will always
remember ol' Petey Wheatstraw!
Where in the hell is Petey?
He should've been
here hours ago.
What time is it, Jimmy?
It's almost 11 o'clock, Nell.
I'm supposed to be calling
the man in a few minutes.
Petey, where in the
hell have you been?
Supposed to being pick
you up in a few minutes.
Partying hardy,
is everything ready?
Take a look at yourself.
Good, when they
come to pick me up
I want y'all to act very
sad that I'm leaving.
And when they leave, let's
meet over at Nell's place.
Okay.
Hey hey, they're here,
they coming in right now!
The time has arrived.
Oh Petey.
Petey Wheatstraw
must come with us.
He's waiting, sir.
But be very careful
with him because
you do not want to disturb
his deep meditation.
Goodbye, Petey, we're
gonna miss you so much!
We've been had,
my dear.
How could he do that?
Of course, he still
has that cane.
Get that cane and
bring that wretched
Petey Wheatstraw to me!
I knew it, I knew it, Petey,
I told you it wasn't gonna work!
Oh my apartment
must be a wreck!
Petey, maybe you
should've married her.
Nell, you got be sick!
Petey, Petey, I told
you it wouldn't work!
They're out to get me, I
don't know what we gonna do!
Oh Petey, they were horrible!
Shit, I was scared to death!
The cane is the
strength, as long as
we can keep it, we
have nothing to fear!
Then what we supposed to
do, live together forever?
The cane, we can keep it until
we can get out of town,
it will protect us.
Let's make it, we gonna catch
the first thing smoking.
I have been made
a complete fool of.
Now retribution is
due Petey Wheatstraw.
Bring the dirty dog to me!
I'll fix his ass!
You are my chosen disciples.
The prides of my kingdom.
Now go...
and bring Petey
Wheatstraw to me.
Can we all please
hurry up, we late,
we gotta catch the damn plane!
Jimmy, we're hurrying
as fast as we can,
Petey, what about my
apartment and all my things?
To hell with this apartment!
We've got to make it,
let's get out of here!
Petey, look out!
Ted!
Petey, let's get
the hell outta here!
What's going on?
Come on here, you ol--
Petey, wait!
Forget that stuff, Nell!
I gotta get my stuff.
- Come on!
- It costs money!
Dammit!
Petey!
Jimmy, wait!
Can't wait, come on!
I'm trying, I'm outta breath!
Come on and sit down
for a minute and rest.
Petey, what's happening?
Now we gotta do something.
Oh my God!
Oh damn, Petey!
Petey Wheatstraw!
Stop fighting at once,
or the woman dies!
Petey!
Petey, please help me!
Bargain
time again, Petey!
Come on, y'all.
Just you, Petey!
And bring my cane with you!
Jimmy, go and get your car.
Park it out front.
I'll be down in a minute.
I trusted you,
Petey Wheatstraw.
And you made a fool of me.
I could kill you, Petey!
And feel nothing.
But I have a better idea.
You will marry my daughter
and I will see to it
that she makes every breath
you draw a prayer for death!
Forever!
What about Nell?
I have no use for
her, she may go.
Seize him!
Bind him!
Hold him, you idiots!
Nell, where the hell is Petey?
They still got him up there.
Jimmy, you gotta do something,
now we gotta help him,
we gotta go up
there or something.
I'm not going up there.
He told me stay in the car,
I'm not going up there Nell, no.
Hold him!
Jimmy.
What?
Can you take me
home for a minute?
Hell no!
Jimmy, look, I
gotta get my money,
I gotta get my
makeup, my underwear,
I need my things!
No, no!
I'm not going nowhere,
I'm sitting right
here 'till Petey come.
Oh Jimmy,
it's just right
up the street, we'll
make it back in time.
- Aw shit, Ted!
- Please Jimmy, please!
Okay.
Petey!
Petey!
Petey, it's me, wait!
Wait, Petey, we're friends.
I trusted you, Petey.
You must trust me!
You can't trust the Devil!
Any fool knows that!
Daniel Webster tricked you
and you still brought
your little ass back.
This time it's over!
No more heartache and pain.
I'm gonna destroy your ass!
With your own walking cane.
No, Petey!
No, Petey, no, no!
No!
No!
No!
No!
There he is,
there he is, there's Petey!
Yeah I
knew it, I told you
we shouldn't have left
in the first place.
Where's he going?!
It's over, it's over!
- He mistook that as my car!
- Oh Jimmy, that's him!
Who?!
I killed the Devil, he's dead!
That's the spirit, my son!
No, Petey, no!
This door's
locked, I can't get--
- It won't open!
- Petey!
How you been, Petey?
Didn't think you'd ever
see us again, huh Petey?
Now you may kiss the bride!
I'll tell you the story
About the brave
man and the storm
Heavy now his glory
For a brother was born
He met a man as a boy
Who taught him how
there was no toil
Taught him how to get around
All the snakes
that he rolled around
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the devil's son-in-law
Petey Wheatstraw, he's no boy
King of comedy, a superstar
The world's a stage
in which he plays
Living and loving
is his only game
Women they fall at his feet
While men fear him
out there in the street
His name brings
terror to all of those
Who tried to cross
him once before
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The devil's son-in-law
Leroy's killing,
they're in a spot
The fire burned him
and it's really hot
They tried to pass the ball
To Petey, Petey,
Petey Wheatstraw
Then things are
going well for Petey
As the devil's right hand man
Til the day
I'm Petey Wheatstraw,
the Devil's son-in-law!
The high sheriff of Hell.
I went with Notorius Fatty,
and even made love
to old Lula Bell.
I took today and brought
back yesterday!
Took the 4th of July
and put it in June!
And make leap year
jump over the moon.
I'm not here to brag,
nor here to boast!
I can sit on a tombstone
and produce baby ghosts.
Why I can even remember
the day I was born!
It was the day of that
great Miami, Florida storm!
Release yourself.
He's coming!
- He's coming!
- He's coming!
Oh Jesus!
He's coming.
Oh Jesus, my God.
Doctor, doctor, doctor!
I'm so glad you got here!
She's almost ready now!
Any minute now!
Help me Lord!
My God, she's gonna
have an elephant?!
Is you trying to say my
wife screwed an elephant?
Just get me some water!
Lots of hot water!
Hurry!
Hurry!
It's gonna be all
right, just hold on.
Oh my God!
I've never heard
anything like this
in my life before!
Oh my Lord, oh my God!
Is he coming, is he
coming, is he coming?
Is he coming?
It's here, it's here.
Oh doctor, oh doctor help me!
Help me, Lord have mercy, Jesus!
Come on, come on down.
Come on down, come on down.
Right there, right
there, help me.
Okay, okay.
Ow!
He bit me!
He bit me!
I got him, I got him.
You got him, doctor?
I got him.
Hurry, doctor, hurry!
Help me, mama,
you gotta help me!
Come on, push!
Bear down, bear down!
Push, push, come on!
Yes, yes, yes, he's coming!
He's coming!
My God, it's coming,
it's coming, it's coming!
Bear down, bear down!
Whoa, whoa!
He's coming, push push!
Oh, oh he's coming!
Shees, oh my God!
Are you sure this
isn't an elephant?!
Oh my God!
Ow, that hurts!
It's alive!
It's alive!
It's alive.
Don't no grandy
doctor soppy sucker
gonna hit on me and
get away with it.
Help me, help
me, help me, somebody help!
Gotta come help me.
Take him off me.
Willy!
Help, help me,
Take him off me!
Come on, please!
I know you, you the one that
disturbed me every
night in my sleep!
But I'm your daddy, boy!
You stop it!
Stop it right this minute, boy.
And you get your little narrow
ass over there and stand.
Thank you, doctor.
How much do we owe you?
Nothing, nothing, just let me
get the hell outta here!
Your name will be
Petey Wheatstraw.
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Well if it ain't
little Petey Wheatstraw.
You mean Punky Wheatstraw.
Superstar
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Do not be alarmed.
I am a friend.
It took courage and bravery
to fight them as you did.
Imma get them back for this
even if it takes my whole life,
Imma get all of 'em one by one.
Would you spend your
whole life seeking revenge?
What do you mean?
Who are you anyway?
I am Bantu, and you?
Petey, Petey Wheatstraw.
Wisdom is the
way of the world.
There's much you do
not understand, son.
I will teach you the
ancient oriental ways.
I'll tell you a story
About the brave
man and the storm
Heavy now His glory
For a brother was born
He met a man as a boy
Who taught him that
there was no toil
Taught him how to get around
All the snakes
that he rolled around
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The Devil's son-in-law
Petey Wheatstraw, he's no boy
King of comedy, a superstar
The world's a stage
in which he plays
Living and loving
his only game
Women, they fall at his feet
While men fear him
out there in the street
His name brings
terror to all of those
Who tried to cross
him once before
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The Devil's son-in-law
Leroy's killing,
they're in a spot
The fire burned him
and it's really hot
You are ready now.
I have taught you
all the mysteries
of the world and the
art of self defense.
I owe you much, Bantu,
I am most grateful,
but there's only one
thing that bothers me.
Yes?
Well this is
not what I dreamed
of doing with my life,
I've always wanted
to be on stage
making people laugh.
You know a, a---
A comedian?
Yeah, so I can
try and save the
world from some of its miseries.
Is it possible?
Yes it's possible.
Stand up.
You will always love and respect
those who always
love and respect you.
You will take no
abuse from any man
living or dead.
You will use your wisdom as
a weapon against all evil.
Thank you.
My my my my my, what an ass.
I've always liked
women with big asses.
Some asses for need, but
this ass is for please.
I see we have another
comedian in the house!
You still got a
lot of ass, mama.
I say one thing,
if this place would
catch on fire, they'd tell
everybody to haul ass,
you would have to make 10 trips.
Hey man, you can't talk
to my woman like that.
Shut up!
Shut your ugly, old
time, ancient ass up!
If you say one more word to me,
I'll have that lady
take one of her
titties and beat
the shit out of you.
And I ain't lying either!
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you very much.
I am what I am and I'm gonna be
the very best of what I am.
And for those who don't
like me confidentially,
I don't give a damn.
I'd like to thank
you for letting
me be myself, thank you!
Ladies and gentlemen, Petey!
Petey, Petey Wheatstraw!
How did we do tonight, Jimmy?
Over the boat, Pete,
things looks good, brother
We gotta hurry 'cause
we got a plane to catch.
Take me with you, Petey.
Oh Sheila, we've been through
this many times, you
know the score, baby.
Sheila, baby, you
know how it is with
us honey, you've got
to hang on in there.
You're gonna see that
Nell bitch, ain't ya?
Oh Sheila, listen,
you know the business,
baby, I'll send
for you next week.
And what about Nell?
What about Nell, baby, you
know it's only me and you!
Sheila, baby,
don't be so uptight,
I'll see that you get a
plane ticket next week.
Hey Petey, beautiful man,
really good this time, we
got to do it again real soon.
Y'all take it slow,
Jimmy, it was a pleasure.
Don't mean to run,
but I got something
planned for me, takin' off.
Hang in there, doc.
Okay y'all, let's
get out of here.
I hope this little
business adventure
turns out the way
it's supposed to.
100 grand is a lot of
money and this place
doesn't look like it
holds over 200 people.
This is not it.
We got a place over
on the East side
that holds over 2,000 people.
And I guarantee you
this'll be the biggest show
to hit this city
in quite some time.
With the kind of cash that you
just loaned us, we can't miss!
Right, Skillet?
Right!
We've checked out all
the risks very carefully.
Mr. White, we're gonna give you
a 20% return on all your money.
You won't be sorry.
No siree.
I hope not.
For that kind of money the
company can get a little ugly.
But for some reason I
think it's gonna work.
Soft season, all the good
acts are on the road.
With that kind of
money you'll be
able to advertise
and pull 'em in.
Now are you sure no
one's coming into town?
Mr. White, stop worrying.
We have no competition
for at least
three or more months
from now, right Skillet?
Happy times are right
around the corner.
Mr. White, you about to become
the luckiest investor
of the century.
Yeah, or lose and become the
most dangerous man in town.
Dangerous for you guys that is.
I'll keep in touch.
Keep the faith.
And
keep the bankroll.
Skillet, let's get started.
Yeah, let's get started.
Madam Wright,
come on over here.
Listen, we need singers.
We need musicians,
we need dancers.
Lookie here, the kind of money
we got, we can do some booking.
- We gonna party now!
- That's right!
We living, brother!
Living? Living?
Living between the
sky and the Earth
and ain't touching dirt nowhere!
Nowhere!
Yeah, that song so
good, and I'm your daddy,
The Hitman, on XERA Radio!
Moving right along, as
we told you earlier,
it's celebrity time.
The one and only Mr.
Excitement himself,
Petey Wheatstraw,
what's happening man?
I'm glad to be back in town.
You know I'm opening
at Steve's Den
with my all girls toy show.
Hey I know it's
gonna be a good show.
Tell us about this 'cause I know
it's gonna be a
right all situation.
All I can say is to the people
out there in radio
land I want to
see your face in the place
and your feet under the seat
so you can put some
zip in your hip
and slide in your glide.
Big fat girl
strutting in there but oh!
Just a minute baby.
And that's June
15th at Steve's Den.
I'll talk to you later, baby.
Be there!
Our opening night?!
The 15th?
Leroy!
Leroy!
I gotta talk to you, partner.
Man, you made me
blow my damn shot!
Wait a minute!
I just learned on the radio
Petey Wheatstraw is in town.
You what?!
He's gonna open show
there on June the 15th!
Leroy, we can't stand
up to competition,
he'll kill us for sure.
Remember what Mr. White
said about his money.
if we don't pay him back?
We dead, partner, what
are we gonna do Leroy?
What we gonna do?
Shut up and let me think!
What you got up
your sleeve, partner?
Wait, I'll call
Petey on the phone.
See if I can get
him to postpone.
Dig it.
And if that don't
work, there's other ways
to make him give in.
Get Willy on the phone quick!
I'll get him on the phone.
Rack man, rack 'em up!
Well Steve, you got the joint
looking good, but
you still ain't
done shit with that
small dressing room,
you know Petey don't like
no small dressing room, man.
Damn right, that dressing room
ain't big enough to fart in.
You didn't come
here to fart or shit,
you came here to do your thing!
But your dressing room still
looks like a shit house!
I got it looking
like a shit house
because of one reason,
Petey, let me tell you.
The way a person shit tells if
they have love or larceny.
See, people that have
love in their heart,
they sit down and they shit.
Reach for the toilet paper,
wipe that shitty ass,
and then they flush it down.
People that have
larceny, they sit down
and they shit ,
wipe that shitty ass, but
because they have larceny,
before they flush it down,
they have to turn around
and peep at that shit.
Anybody don't trust their own
asshole must have larceny.
And it still looks like a
shit house, can you dig it?
Let me say this, Petey.
We got the posters ready,
and man we are ready
to roll this weekend.
Steve, you mean to tell me
you haven't got the posters up
and we getting ready
to open next week?
Well never mind
all that Petey.
Anyway, I put my boy
right over there.
Can I help, Ted?
No Larry, you'd
just be in the way.
Oh Ted, you haven't seen your
brother in four months,
why don't you let
him come along?
Come on, T.
Okay, you can help.
I'll go and get changed
and we'll get started.
Matter of fact I'll kick in a
few bucks for the little man.
What?
Steve, you are
volunteering to pay somebody?
Don't you be so
cold on my man.
Oh baby, don't worry
about it, they only kidding.
Petey, why don't
y'all drink up man,
my lady's fixin' to poo, we
got to get on out of here.
Let's drink a toast to
a successful engagement.
Hey, stop!
God damn!
These dope-headed
junkies make me sick!
That's why niggers in the
ghetto can't have shit!
Hey you, get back!
Jimmy, you should do
something, help him!
I got the money, what the
hell you think I can do,
I can't take those damn junkies!
Shit!
Come on, nigger, scram, man!
Come on!
Come on, fight it!
Y'all got a lot of
nerve messing with my car.
Penny addict junkies,
that's all you are.
You'll take from your
mama, you'll even take
the limbs off of a tree!
But I'm gonna kick your
ass for messing with me.
All right, you clowns,
up on your feet.
You going back to
my car and putting
my shit back just
like you found it!
All right, let's go!
All right, move!
Ladies and gentlemen, I want you
to remember their faces
so you can know who's
breaking into your places!
If they do it to me,
they'll do it to you!
So I want you to stick your foot
up their ass the
next time they do!
But Leroy, what we gonna do?
If he's gonna put on a show--
Shut up!
I'm trying to think!
- Willie!
- Yeah, boss?
I want you to keep an eye on
- Petey and his boys.
- Right.
I wanna know every move they
make day and night.
Take some of the boys
and call me every
hour on the hour.
Right.
Castro, Brian, let's go.
But Leroy!
If he's gonna put on a show--
You said that already!
He's probably staying
at Nell's place.
We'll call him.
Maybe we can get him
to change his mind.
Change his mind?
After what we did to Petey?
He'll come through that
phone and strangle us.
Petey knows the score now.
He's on our terrain now.
All we gotta do is put a little
pressure on him, he'll yield.
Leroy, I don't think--
Don't think!
Just get Nell on the phone.
I wanna talk to Petey.
Loving you
Touching you
It's always on my mind
Thinking of kisses on you
Look, what is it
with you, Petey?
Don't I even turn
you on a little?
Nell, you know I don't like to
mix business with pleasure.
It's always business with you.
You know how I feel about you.
Nell, I didn't mean
to hurt you, baby.
Come over here.
Let's give it a whirl.
May not even be as
bad as I think it is.
Shit.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you, now don't be long.
Baby, this is
gonna be the shortest
phone call in Bell
Telephone's history.
Can you dig it?
Mmmhm.
Petey, how you doing, brother?
Don't brother
me, you no business
barn rat soup eatin'
son of a bitch!
I want you and that
fat slob partner
of yours to pay me the
money ya'll owe me!
That's exactly
what I was calling you for.
I want to pay you back,
but on one condition.
Condition my ass!
It's y'all that owe me!
I will condition you,
I'll put my foot up you
and that big bear's ass both!
Look Petey, Skillet and I are
in a bad position.
You see, we want you to postpone
your engagement
for a few months.
We borrowed a big piece of money
and we can't afford
your competition.
You have the nerve to call me
and ask me to cancel
my engagement!
I wouldn't stop my show if you
needed ice water in hell!
So that's the way you
wanna play, huh nigga?
Well you know two of us
can play that, you hear?
Why you.
What was that all about?
Nell, listen, I
want you to call
Jimmy and the boys
because the shit
look like it's done hit the fan.
What about
our little party?
It'll have to wait.
This is money.
Business, baby.
As you know, romance without
finance is a damn nuisance.
Loving you
Touching you
Yeah?
I'm still following
this Jackson dude, boss.
He's hanging posters
all over the place.
Well rough him up a bit.
Petey won't bend,
so we'll bend him.
I'm on it on.
Shut up!
Mmm mmm, this is
sho' 'nuff good!
Mmmhmm!
Ted, the next time you leave
are you gonna be gone long?
I don't know, why?
'Cause
when you're gone
I don't have no one to talk to.
You talk to mama, don't you?
Yeah, but she's
always working.
She be too tired.
Well what do you
do in the meantime?
Swish!
Play basketball 'cause I'm
gonna be a basketball star.
And skip school.
Yeah, mama told me
what you been doing.
Look, if you wanna
be a basketball star,
you're gonna have to
stop skipping school.
You think Jabbar skipped school?
No he didn't and
neither can you.
Now I want you to
raise your right hand
and swear that you
won't skip again.
Come on.
Come on!
I swear I won't
skip no more school.
If Jabbar didn't
then I won't neither.
My man!
Now I want you to go
inside and tell mama
I'll be a little late and
not to wait up for me.
Okay.
Swish.
Two points.
You've been pretty
busy today, pal.
Too bad you won't be able
to work like that tomorrow.
'Cause your arm's
gonna be broke.
What are you
talking about, mister?
Larry, go inside.
No, I'm staying with you.
I said go inside!
Ted, he's got a gun!
Larry, Larry!
Larry!
Larry!
Oh my God, he shot my brother!
I can't see you, Ted.
I feel, I--
Don't talk, Larry.
It's gonna be all right.
I saw the whole thing,
I got the license
plates and everything.
I called the police
and the ambulance
and they're on their way now.
I won't skip
no more school.
I promise not.
Oh no!
No!
Larry!
No!
Larry.
My brother!
Larry!
Oh God, Larry!
Precious Lord
Take my hand
Lead me on
Let me stand
I am tired
I am weak
I am worn
Through the storm
The Lord giveth.
And the Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Lord is my Sheperd,
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie
down in green pastures.
Precious Lord
And lead me home
Don't panic!
Petey?
Petey Wheatstraw.
Petey Wheatstraw.
Who are you, man?
My card.
Lou Cipher?
A small mistake on
the part of the printer.
Actually it's
pronounced Lucifer.
Are you responsible
for all this madness?
In most cases I am, but
in this particular instance
I happened to walk
upon this disaster.
You may stand up.
Where am I?
Where am I?
Where am I at?
Your new home, Petey, if
everything works out well.
Well if you're wondering,
Petey, you're quite dead.
And what about all
of these other people?
Are they?
The ones that
have been shot, yes.
The others are, you
might say, out to lunch.
But what do you
want from me, man?
My my, you're quite direct.
I like that.
She will like that too.
She who?
We'll talk about that later.
Your problem seems
to be right now.
I have a proposition
to offer you,
Petey, are you
willing to listen?
Your propositions you
always wind up on top.
Just like the shit that
you done to Adam and Eve.
Oh Petey, I was young then.
My salad days.
My style today is much
more sophisticated.
Well what do you
want from me now?
A son.
A son?
You got to be sick!
How in the hell can
I give you a son?
By simply marrying
my daughter.
What's in the
deal for me, man?
Gaze upon the root of all this
madness as you put it.
Well?
You don't have to worry
about Petey no more, boss.
He's resting in peace.
Good.
Now that he's resting in peace,
we can rest in peace too.
Lively times!
Happy times!
Happy times, yeah.
Leroy and Skillet.
I knew it was them two big
fat slobby son of a bitches!
Yes, they felt threatened
by your upcoming show in town.
Well why kill a little
boy like that in cold blood?
If you would just calm
down a moment and listen,
perhaps we can work things out.
I'm listening.
Marry my daughter
and give her a child.
And I will arrange it for
you to have your life back.
To strut and fret your
hour upon the stage again.
Revenge will be yours,
Petey Wheatstraw.
No, this is madness
man, you got to be sick.
Well Petey, prepare to die.
Let your
wisdom be your weapon.
Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom.
All right.
I'll marry your daughter
and give her this son
that you need so badly.
By the way, what does
your daughter look like?
Gee, I hope beauty has nothing
to do with our proposition.
Oh hell no, man, uh uh.
No no no, I won't marry
her, deal or no deal.
Kill me, man, kill me, uh umm.
Yes, my daughter's
quite unfortunate.
Very well, Petey.
Wisdom, wisdom.
All right, I'll marry her.
You'll be hearing from
me from time to time.
It will be as though none
of this ever happened.
And the
Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Lord is my sheperd.
I shall not want.
Oh Lord, my baby.
Petey, how could
that be, I know--
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,
don't worry about it,
I'll explain it to you later.
Thank you, dear.
That's the way it was.
I'm not lying.
That's some crazy
shit, isn't it?
Crazy, yeah, but man you
making a deal with the Devil.
You know how things
like that turn out.
And anyway, I think
I'd rather be dead
than marry someone ugly as that!
The main thing
man, I'm still alive.
Now listen, I can
figure out a way
to keep from marrying
the Devil's daughter,
but the main thing we've got to
deal with Leroy and
Skillet right now.
But Petey, I'm scared.
Now you know how
powerful the Devil is,
and if you cross him,
he's gonna be mad as hell.
I mean heaven.
Oh shit.
Oh Nell, you always
worry, now you know
I can take care of things.
Ted!
Ted!
Are you all right?
Man, I ain't gonna rest
until I settle with
Scarface Willie.
Right this way, ladies.
It's that little punk again.
Come on, chump!
Come on!
We'll fix his ass
for keeps it this time.
Come on!
Hey man, come on, come on!
Thought you
would've done learned
your lesson by now,
little brother.
Guess you one of them
hard-headed niggers.
Hold it, Bruce Lee!
See now you too
dangerous to have around.
I'm gonna arrange it so
you can be with Petey
and your kid brother
for all time!
Start praying, pal!
What's the matter, Willie,
the cat got your tongue?!
I oughta make you eat this gun!
But I thought--
Yes, tell your
boss I'm still alive
and I'm mad as a hornet
in a bumblebee hive!
I want you to tell
your boss that
his days is numbered
and his luck is bad!
So son of a bitch, !
Now get your ugly ass on!
Get!
Move!
Why didn't you
let me finish him?
Oh Ted, there will be
revenge on all of them for you,
don't worry about it.
Let's make it.
Willie, you sure it was him?
You're sure you got him?
Well how in the hell
can he still be alive?
Maybe he missed him.
I know he was dead.
Nobody could've stood the lead
we pumped into him, nobody!
I swear, Leroy!
I saw him get hit too, boss.
He must've took about
four or five slugs.
Well how in the hell can he
still be out there
walking around?
Somebody tell me!
What we gonna do, Leroy?
Shut up and let me think!
I gotta think.
Phew, this is killing me!
Let him think,
everybody, let him think.
What happened to him?
I think Willie's smell
was too much for him.
I think I'm
gonna pass out too.
Willie, you get your
stinkin' ass out of here!
Get out of here and go clean up!
And get back here on the double!
Somebody open a window
or something, damn.
I've got it!
Well come on with it.
He lives in Nell's place.
Right.
We never did finish our
little party the other night,
and now we're all alone
and there's no one
here to bother us,
so I'll just take the
phone off the hook.
Well I'll be damned.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you, now don't be long.
Yes Petey, there's two things
I neglected to tell you.
One, you will have powers
beyond your wildest dreams.
All you have to do is
use my magical cane.
It contains all of my secrets.
Two, you must be careful
where and how you use it.
It will serve every
purpose you will ever need.
All you have to do is
wield the cane, Petey,
and my power is yours.
Well thanks for calling, Lou.
Well who's Lou?
Don't worry about it, baby,
let me introduce you
to a friend of mine.
Oh at last, I'm
gonna put something
on you you won't forget.
Stop it!
You guys are
tearing up my place!
Police!
Get away from me!
Petey!
Petey!
Oh my vase, hey I'm not
through paying for this!
Petey!
Be careful!
Petey, watch out!
Come on, come on, come on.
Get up, come on.
Hello?
Yes, just a second.
It's for you.
Yes.
Petey, I suggest you
pick up that cane tonight.
At the rate your friends
Skillet and Leroy are going,
they might surprise
you at any moment.
And you do want to protect
yourself the next time.
Thanks again.
Hello?
Petey?
What?
Graveyard?
Man, at a time like this?
Aw shit.
Petey!
Petey!
Sure had a
wonderful time tonight!
Oh shit, really blew my lid.
Everybody tell me I did.
Oh boy did I party up in
this tonight.
Still takes me so
damn long to get home,
gee, Maple's gonna be
wondering about me.
My house look like it done got
a little bit small too.
Maple!
Open the door, baby,
your baby home!
Open the door, woman!
Your out here,
I know you're in
there, baby, let me in!
That woman don't
wanna let me in.
It's , woman let me in!
You won't come open,
well I'll just go all,
I ain't gonna tell you where
I'm going, somewhere else.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Petey, what are we looking
for in this graveyard?
Just a little further.
Petey!
Listen, listen!
I don't hear nothing, man.
Well I hear something, listen.
Come on, man, I
don't hear nothing.
That's it Pete!
Come over here, man.
Come over here, you
scared fool you!
Cold down here
Cold down here.
Well no
wonder you cold,
you damn fool, you done kicked
all the dirt off of you!
Help me!
Come on, let's do
what we come here for
and let's get out of here.
Oh shit man,
why you so scared?
Hell, this is a graveyard!
Let's put some
dirt on him, Jimmy.
Man, I ain't gonna
put nothing on him.
Come on, let's get what
you got and get outta here!
Come on, man!
Come on man, don't
be so scared, come on!
Just a little further.
Ah, there it is.
The tire.
Man, shit, you come
out here to get a tire,
now you could've gotten
a tire in the morning!
Now we can leave.
I've gots what I come here for.
What's that for?
Come on, come on, come on,
let's leave, let's leave.
Come on man, come on!
Come back here, Jimmy!
What's wrong with you?!
Put those
corks in the cooler!
How many times do I
have to tell you that?
What is that plant
doing over there?
Put it on the other
side of the building!
Right.
Then get up on that ladder and
fix that better than that.
Get that shit down from
there, and what are you doing?
Move that out from over there!
Let's get moving!
Hey boss!
Hello!
Mr. White!
Mr. White, if this
ain't the best
investment that you
ever made in your life,
I'll stand on my head, it's big!
It's colossal.
It's not even open yet.
Don't try and sell
me, sell tickets.
Oh they
selling by the hundreds
Mr. White, by the hundreds.
Good.
Now what about this
Wheatstraw character?
I understand he's
opening a show nearby.
Now I hope he's no
competition to you guys.
No siree, Mr. White.
We already killed--
Uh, what my partner's
trying to say,
we've killed the idea
of Mr. Wheatstraw
opening a show here.
See, he's a friend of ours.
Okay fine.
Hold five tickets for me
and my friends, front row.
We'll announce
you too, Mr. White.
Nothing's too good for
you and your friends,
nothing's too good.
Maybe this is a
good deal after all.
The wife will love it.
She goes for stuff like this.
Well I'll see you guys
tomorrow night at the opening.
Oh, and break your legs.
He likes to make jokes.
Oh Leroy.
If Petey opens
the show, we dead,
partner, we dead, you know that.
If I had good
people around working,
Petey would've been out
the way a long time ago.
Boss, I'm telling
you, he's got
some kind of power or something.
I mean--
Boss, you know I don't
believe in that kind
of shit either, but
it's true, it's weird.
Don't give me that
supernatural shit!
You just didn't do your job!
No!
Willie, I'm giving
you one more chance.
If you blow this one,
I'll knock your ass
in the middle of next week and
be ready for you again Saturday.
You understand?
Boss, I--
Don't but boss me, I
want his show stopped!
Oughta ask the book, you
just didn't do your job, boy!
We've gone too
far to turn around!
Leroy and Skillet
has gone too far.
They want their
cake and eat it too.
You know, thicker.
Well you know how
greedy they are.
Plus they've always
been jealous of you,
haven't they, Jimmy?
You know how it is,
hun, I ain't got time
to even think about
Skillet and Leroy.
I'm sorry I was late,
I just got off work
and my piano player
couldn't make it,
but I can sing acapella.
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
Damn, who in the
hell is that bitch?
She must be singing for Jimmy.
- Singing for who?
- For you.
I ain't never see
that woman before.
Well she can't be
singing for Petey.
Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
What's going on?
What the shit is going on?
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
Better not .
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
Petey, let go of the thing.
Who in there?
Petey, I told you that cane.
They swore to be
true to each other
And true as the stars above
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
It's leading
me to the bathroom!
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
A bomb!
A bomb!
Take it outside,
take it outside.
As true as the stars above
Frankie and Johnny were lovers
Oh lordy how they could love
They swore to be
true to each other
As true as the stars above
Frankie and
Johnny were lovers
Take it outside,
take it outside!
Hey, where's everybody going?
Do I get the job?
I got another number.
Get out of there, it's a bomb!
Petey!
Petey, are you all right?
Well damn, Petey,
look at that shit,
them suckers are trying
to play for keeps!
Man, they tried to
blow up my damn joint!
Please give into 'em Petey,
somebody is gonna get hurt.
We got to get
this shit straight!
Nell, go and get tickets
to Leroy and Skillet.
You damn right 'cause
I think we need to go.
What, Petey, are you crazy?
Don't you know what
they'll do to you?
I'm gonna give them an opening
that they will never forget!
Damn right!
Mister White!
Good evening, boys.
Good
evening, Mr. White.
How you doing, sir?
Oh, this is my wife Joanne.
And her sister Babs.
Good evening.
My my, she's more lovelier
than you ever described.
Right this way, folks.
I got a front way table for ya.
Right this way.
Hey man, don't I know
you from somewhere?
Hell no, man,
you don't know me.
Jimmy, I'm so sick
and tired of these
Americans talking
about they know me,
let's get the girls
and leave here.
No man, do not
be like that, man.
We come to see a
show, why don't we
go in and enjoy ourselves,
do not worry about it.
Very well, step aside, you
fat-faced son of a bitch.
Have a good evening, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You've been listening
to the soul sounds
of Clive Maron and Her,
it is showtime now.
So let's welcome to the floor
two of the funniest
men in show business.
None other than
Leroy and Skillet!
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me introduce to you
the ones that made it
possible for me and Skillet
to bring this big
show to you tonight.
Seated right here in front of me
is none other than
Mr. And Mrs. White
and their beautiful guest,
give 'em a great
round of applause!
Leroy!
Hey Skillet, what's going on?
I heard you were
smart, partner.
I am smart, Skillet.
You smart?
I'm smart, Skillet.
If you're so smart,
answer me this.
Answer you what?
If you have $23.18
in one pocket.
$23.18 in one pocket.
And $13.42 in
the other pocket.
$13.42 cents in
the other pocket.
What would you have?
I'd have on
somebody else's pants,
they sure wouldn't be mine.
Do it now, Petey, do it now.
Uncross your legs
whitey, you gonna choke
your fool self to death.
Leroy!
What's the matter with you?
I don't know, Skillet.
I opened my mouth
and it just came out.
Sorry folks, I hope
you didn't get offended.
My partner gets carried
away a little bit at a time.
Speaking of carrying away,
they should carry
this bitch away
sitting on that
blue satin bedsheet.
What's the matter, mama,
you think a nigger don't know
a bedsheet when he see one?
Leroy!
You gonna get us killed, man!
I really don't know
what's happening.
It's working,
Petey, it's working.
Sorry, folks.
I hope we didn't put too much
water in your damn drinks.
You assholes!
Oh what am I saying?!
Moving right along, folks.
We'd like to bring
our next act to you.
So let's meet and
greet Miss Tami Small.
Come on, Skillet,
let's get outta here!
Music got me where I am and
I'm feeling fine, fine yeah
I'm feeling good
like I knew I would
We got the loving mind
Petey, how did you
make that cane do that?
Tami, what the hell
happened to you up there?
What happened?!
Now I will fix
both of 'em for good!
What the hell's
going on out there?
I don't know.
Sound like they're
tearing the place apart.
What's goin' on in there?
Where's the key?
Where is it?
I don't know, I
can't find the key!
What's the matter, chump?
Can't find your key?
You got it all wrong!
No, no!
I'm gonna take you
apart piece by piece!
Then I'm gonna kill you!
Like you killed my brother!
What's the matter, Willie?
Leroy!
What is it, Skillet?
You should've
remembered what I told ya!
What was that, Skillet?
Money's the root of all evil!
Well Skillet, it
look like they've
been our root.
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute, !
That'll take care of them two
big fat slobby son of a bitches.
Right on, Petey, let's go.
Oh Jimmy, where's Ted?
Don't you die on me, man!
Don't you cheat me!
You don't
cheat me out of this!
Don't cheat me!
Don't cheat me!
Ted!
It's over, it's over man.
Come on, come on, let's go.
It's over.
Come on, Ted.
It's over.
Well pet, what do you think?
Is he?
Oh he's divinely sexy!
And he's all yours, my pet.
Now we can make preparations
for your wedding.
Oh Father, my joy is
as boundless as the sea.
And just as deep.
The both are infinite.
Big Daddy, wait a
minute now, I have labored
all day long cooking this
dinner over this stove
and I had the kids waiting.
You mean you gonna walk
off and leave like that?
I wanted to honey, but I gotta
make this meeting,
see you later.
Hey baby, what's happening?
Oh hi, hun.
How you doing?
I see what's happening,
I knew I'd catch you
over here with this
young woman in this car!
Baby, please, wait a minute--
Hell no, you couldn't
pay to wait a minute.
You ain't nothing
but a damn fool!
Out here fooling around
with these young women!
I knew I'd get you someday
and you're trapped!
Let me explain
it to you, okay?
Baby please!
Shut up talking to me!
Come on, you don't
understand, let me--
This is your last meeting!
Wait!
Don't kill him, ma'am!
I have one wish I will
grant you, what might it be?
He's a dog, he's a damn dog.
Just turn him into a
little black puppy.
That wish will be granted.
How did you do that?
I got the power,
mama, that's how.
I got the power.
Thank you, mister.
Come on, sugar, mama gonna take
you home and give
you some dinner.
Some dog food!
Good morning miss,
can you tell me
where to find Mr. Wheatstraw,
Mr. Petey Wheatstraw?
Here's not here right now,
but I'm his personal
secretary, can I help you?
Not really.
I much prefer to
speak to him myself.
Do you have any idea
when he will be back?
Later on this afternoon.
Are you sure I can't help you?
Quite sure, young lady.
Quite sure.
You give him this
card and you tell him
to contact me right away.
Bye.
One minute it was over
The next minute
was all brand new
Oh, on ghetto street, y'all
What's this thing
happening to you
Ghetto street, USA
Down here where we live ya'll
Ghetto street, USA
My, my, my, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Don't ever do it
anymore, did you hear me?
You hear me?
For that I'm gonna comb
your nappy head for you!
Only people
A hard up year ago
To welcome all the joy, y'all
With an open soul
Looking through the eyes
Of a small gentle child
It isn't so bad, y'all
If it makes a life worth while
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Down here where we live, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Down where the streets
are milk and honey
Ghetto street, USA
I believe in it
Taking a holiday
Between fantasy and reality
Apart in a small degree
Fantasy in one
man's eyes, y'all
Reality's too plain to see
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Down there where
they live, baby
Ghetto street, USA
Sometimes I get lonely
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
See people sleeping
on the street
Ghetto street, USA
When I look at
the little girls
Ghetto street, USA
Walk around hungry with
no shoes on their feet
Ghetto street, USA
Oh Lord
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Come on baby
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
The ghetto baby
Ghetto street, USA
I wanna tell you about it baby
You and I know baby
Sometime now the
things oughta be
Yes you, we're looking
for a blessing, child
Come down to the ghetto street
In the ghetto
Here reality and soul, y'all
Arrives in us plain to see
Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Oh Ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
In the ghetto
Down, down, down
Ghetto street, USA
Down here in the ghetto
Down down down
Down down down
But then I feel all right baby
Oh baby
Down in the ghetto
Down in the ghetto
Ghetto street, USA
Yeah yeah
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Ghetto street, USA
Hey Petey!
Look, I'll call you back, okay?
Yes, Nell?
A man came by here
looking for you.
A man?
What was his name?
Well he left his card.
It was right there, I don't
know what happened to it.
Well what did he look like?
A weirdo.
Shit, that's all
I've been running
into since I've been
in here, is weirdos,
one after another.
Well this one
was really strange,
he wouldn't tell
me what he wanted.
Nell, I've got to
get my act together
for the opening, I'm going
upstairs and rehearse.
I don't want to see anyone.
Well I'll make sure
you are not disturbed.
Thanks Nell.
You're welcome.
Good afternoon, Petey,
there's no need for that.
It's me.
Lou.
Oh Lou.
How have you been?
I've been fine, Petey.
I saw your heroic act today.
The little boy.
He was mine you know.
You shouldn't use
that cane so loosely.
Well it was lying
around doing nothing,
so I thought I would
put it to some use.
You haven't forgotten
our deal, have you Petey?
I've kept up my end of the
bargain, now it's your turn.
I wouldn't miss
it for the world.
I'm looking forward to it.
Good.
Then prepare yourself
for the wedding.
Tomorrow.
Why so soon?
I came to your aid soon.
Don't you think one good
deed deserves another?
Where's this wedding
gonna take place?
Down there of course.
Incidentally, you
can give me the cane.
I need this cane
for another day.
Okay, Petey.
I suppose it'll be all right.
Just as long as
you don't interfere
with any of my actions.
Don't have to worry.
I won't give you any trouble.
Very good.
I'll pick you up tomorrow
night about 11:30.
I'll be waiting, Lou.
Or should I say Father?
It doesn't matter!
Just marry her so I can rest.
Goodbye, Petey.
Goodbye, Father.
Petey, how did that
man get in there?
I've been right here all day.
Just call Jimmy and
get him on the phone,
I'll explain later.
Look like the shit
is gonna hit the fan.
Petey, who was that man?
That's Lucifer,
ol' Satan himself.
I knew it!
I could feel something
strange about him.
Petey, what are you gonna do?
Nell don't ask so many
questions, do as I say.
Call Jimmy right away.
Okay, all right.
Jimmy, I got to find a way
to keep from marrying
this ugly bitch.
This ho is so ugly she can scare
a hungry bulldog off the
back of a meat truck.
Call Lucifer up and tell him
you got the claps and you wanna
take a few years to
clear your system up.
Man, that's not
a few year affair,
that's only a few day affair.
Well hell, tell him you
got the Alabama claps.
I got it, Nell,
give me the phone.
But the bitch is
still ugly enough
to break daylight with her fist.
Now what you fixin' to do?
I'm gonna call Lucifer.
No need to call him, he
know he got an ugly bitch.
Hello?
Lou, listen.
I've got a question to ask you.
Yes, I'd like to go into
meditation before my wedding.
Meditation?
What do you mean meditation?
Well my father was a
guru and he said to me
"Son, my only son,"
says "it would be nice
"if you would meditate
before your wedding."
Do you have to?
Yes, old Father
would like it, Lou.
Very well.
Just as long as you are there.
I'll be there, but Lou,
remember I'll be
in deep meditation.
Bye, Father.
Meditation?
Man, you don't know
about no damn meditation!
Jimmy,
you know you used
to be good at making things.
Yeah, so what's that mean?
I want you to make a
mask that looks like me.
And we'll go and get a wino
and we'll dope that
sucker up not with wine,
but with the heavy shit.
We'll put that mask on him and
when Lou comes to pick me
up we'll let him take him.
And by the time he
find out it ain't me,
we'll be all the
way across country.
Now where are you
gonna find a wino?
Down at the Dewdrop Inn.
If you go down there dressed
like that you'll drop in.
There one
is over there, Jimmy.
Where?
You see
him right there.
Man look at that asshole,
don't you know he too fat?
You right, he is all
butt and gut, but he'll do.
Let's dope up that son of a gun
and carry him to ol' Lou.
Well give me the shit
then, let me get him ready.
When I get him set
up, I want y'all
to come right out
there soon as I get him
to turn around and do
it to him, you hear?
Get him ready.
What's happening, Uncle Jake?
I haven't seen you
in three years.
Man I've been back
in town a week,
I've been looking
for, where you been?
I'm not your Uncle Jake!
You'll be my uncle
now, you fat rascal,
you and anything else
I want you to be.
Damn, looks
just like Petey!
How long will this
mask last, Jimmy?
At least a couple days.
Good.
I'll tell my Father
not to disturb
my meditation for
a couple of weeks.
What about y'alls honeymoon?
Yeah, suppose the ugly broad
want some and she
started playing
around with that damn
wino and nothing happens?
Then she'll know how I feel.
Don't worry, don't worry.
She will never know
the difference.
But Petey, suppose
Lucifer finds out
we done crossed him, man you
know the shit's gonna fly.
Listen, I'd rather
for the shit to fly
than for me to have to
marry that ugly bitch.
But you know that weird
dude don't take no shit.
Just remember one thing.
What's that?
I've got his
cane and that makes
me just as powerful as he.
There it is, it's finished.
All right, let's put it on
the wino and see how it fits.
Well Petey, there you
lay and here you stand.
But if ol' Lucifer find out,
I'm gonna tell you there'll
be some shit in the sand.
It's weird.
Petey, he looks just like you.
Well kiss my Aunt Rhoda's ass.
resemble me.
I tell you what we
do, call my Father
and tell him that I am
ready to be picked up.
Where am I supposed
to sleep tonight?
Baby, stay here, ain't
nothing but a wino,
he'll be out for
two, three days.
Petey, I'm not staying
here with no derelict.
I'll tell you what, we'll rent
a motel room for the night.
Good.
Petey, I still
think you oughta
marry the ugly old
rascal and figure how to
get you a divorce when
you get down in hell.
Don't worry about
it, it'll work.
Let's cover the wino up and
get the hell outta here.
Damn, time sure is going
slow, it's only three o'clock.
I wish we could get
this shit over with,
this is worrying
the hell out of me.
Why, why did you
have to meet him
here in my place man?!
Oh Petey, I'm so scared.
I mean what if
something goes wrong?
We may never see
each other again.
Now don't worry about it.
Everything's gonna
be all right, baby.
Petey, it's him.
Uh oh!
Don't worry about it.
Everybody just smile.
Good afternoon,
Petey and friends.
Good afternoon, Father.
Ah, Petey, I feel
great, just great!
Father, why are
you here so soon?
I thought you were coming down
about 11 o'clock tonight?
Oh Petey, I came by to
give you a pre-wedding gift.
If your friends will
excuse you for awhile.
I'm going away with my
Father for a little while.
I want y'all to take
care of the fort.
Can you dig it?
Father!
I hope I'll see you later.
Wait a minute, man, where
in the hell are we going?
My, you're quite edgy.
Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose.
I wanna know about this gift
you've been telling me about.
It's just up
the street, Petey.
Come along!
Man, if you've
got to run for it
it must be a groovy situation.
That's the spirit!
Oh Father, why you
bringing me here?
Look like this place
been closed for years.
Enter, my son.
Go go go go.
Hmmm?
Come on, that's the spirit.
Back, back!
Back back back!
Damn, father!
You having trouble
trying to find
a husband for your daughter.
You ain't gonna never
find a wife for your son.
That's not my son.
Your very own
bachelor party, Petey.
Father, there's
no one here but us.
But father!
How in the world?
When I was
young, I always wanted one.
Never did though.
Have fun, Petey.
Petey.
Petey.
Petey.
He's indeed strong.
I'll never forget
this raggedy old shack.
If I ever get a chance
I'll damn sure come back.
A gift from my Father
that's against the law,
but you girls will always
remember ol' Petey Wheatstraw!
Where in the hell is Petey?
He should've been
here hours ago.
What time is it, Jimmy?
It's almost 11 o'clock, Nell.
I'm supposed to be calling
the man in a few minutes.
Petey, where in the
hell have you been?
Supposed to being pick
you up in a few minutes.
Partying hardy,
is everything ready?
Take a look at yourself.
Good, when they
come to pick me up
I want y'all to act very
sad that I'm leaving.
And when they leave, let's
meet over at Nell's place.
Okay.
Hey hey, they're here,
they coming in right now!
The time has arrived.
Oh Petey.
Petey Wheatstraw
must come with us.
He's waiting, sir.
But be very careful
with him because
you do not want to disturb
his deep meditation.
Goodbye, Petey, we're
gonna miss you so much!
We've been had,
my dear.
How could he do that?
Of course, he still
has that cane.
Get that cane and
bring that wretched
Petey Wheatstraw to me!
I knew it, I knew it, Petey,
I told you it wasn't gonna work!
Oh my apartment
must be a wreck!
Petey, maybe you
should've married her.
Nell, you got be sick!
Petey, Petey, I told
you it wouldn't work!
They're out to get me, I
don't know what we gonna do!
Oh Petey, they were horrible!
Shit, I was scared to death!
The cane is the
strength, as long as
we can keep it, we
have nothing to fear!
Then what we supposed to
do, live together forever?
The cane, we can keep it until
we can get out of town,
it will protect us.
Let's make it, we gonna catch
the first thing smoking.
I have been made
a complete fool of.
Now retribution is
due Petey Wheatstraw.
Bring the dirty dog to me!
I'll fix his ass!
You are my chosen disciples.
The prides of my kingdom.
Now go...
and bring Petey
Wheatstraw to me.
Can we all please
hurry up, we late,
we gotta catch the damn plane!
Jimmy, we're hurrying
as fast as we can,
Petey, what about my
apartment and all my things?
To hell with this apartment!
We've got to make it,
let's get out of here!
Petey, look out!
Ted!
Petey, let's get
the hell outta here!
What's going on?
Come on here, you ol--
Petey, wait!
Forget that stuff, Nell!
I gotta get my stuff.
- Come on!
- It costs money!
Dammit!
Petey!
Jimmy, wait!
Can't wait, come on!
I'm trying, I'm outta breath!
Come on and sit down
for a minute and rest.
Petey, what's happening?
Now we gotta do something.
Oh my God!
Oh damn, Petey!
Petey Wheatstraw!
Stop fighting at once,
or the woman dies!
Petey!
Petey, please help me!
Bargain
time again, Petey!
Come on, y'all.
Just you, Petey!
And bring my cane with you!
Jimmy, go and get your car.
Park it out front.
I'll be down in a minute.
I trusted you,
Petey Wheatstraw.
And you made a fool of me.
I could kill you, Petey!
And feel nothing.
But I have a better idea.
You will marry my daughter
and I will see to it
that she makes every breath
you draw a prayer for death!
Forever!
What about Nell?
I have no use for
her, she may go.
Seize him!
Bind him!
Hold him, you idiots!
Nell, where the hell is Petey?
They still got him up there.
Jimmy, you gotta do something,
now we gotta help him,
we gotta go up
there or something.
I'm not going up there.
He told me stay in the car,
I'm not going up there Nell, no.
Hold him!
Jimmy.
What?
Can you take me
home for a minute?
Hell no!
Jimmy, look, I
gotta get my money,
I gotta get my
makeup, my underwear,
I need my things!
No, no!
I'm not going nowhere,
I'm sitting right
here 'till Petey come.
Oh Jimmy,
it's just right
up the street, we'll
make it back in time.
- Aw shit, Ted!
- Please Jimmy, please!
Okay.
Petey!
Petey!
Petey, it's me, wait!
Wait, Petey, we're friends.
I trusted you, Petey.
You must trust me!
You can't trust the Devil!
Any fool knows that!
Daniel Webster tricked you
and you still brought
your little ass back.
This time it's over!
No more heartache and pain.
I'm gonna destroy your ass!
With your own walking cane.
No, Petey!
No, Petey, no, no!
No!
No!
No!
No!
There he is,
there he is, there's Petey!
Yeah I
knew it, I told you
we shouldn't have left
in the first place.
Where's he going?!
It's over, it's over!
- He mistook that as my car!
- Oh Jimmy, that's him!
Who?!
I killed the Devil, he's dead!
That's the spirit, my son!
No, Petey, no!
This door's
locked, I can't get--
- It won't open!
- Petey!
How you been, Petey?
Didn't think you'd ever
see us again, huh Petey?
Now you may kiss the bride!
I'll tell you the story
About the brave
man and the storm
Heavy now his glory
For a brother was born
He met a man as a boy
Who taught him how
there was no toil
Taught him how to get around
All the snakes
that he rolled around
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the devil's son-in-law
Petey Wheatstraw, he's no boy
King of comedy, a superstar
The world's a stage
in which he plays
Living and loving
is his only game
Women they fall at his feet
While men fear him
out there in the street
His name brings
terror to all of those
Who tried to cross
him once before
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
Petey Wheatstraw
The devil's son-in-law
Leroy's killing,
they're in a spot
The fire burned him
and it's really hot
They tried to pass the ball
To Petey, Petey,
Petey Wheatstraw
Then things are
going well for Petey
As the devil's right hand man
Til the day