Please Baby Please (2022) Movie Script
1
(dramatic theme playing)
(man whistles)
(man howls)
Please, baby, please
I'll do anything you need
Baby, please
In the bleeding
of the light, baby, please
Tonight, baby, I'm alone
(all screaming)
Please, baby, please
Should I get down
on my knees?
(instrumental theme playing)
Whoo!
(gang whooping
and hollering indistinctly)
-(woman screaming)
-(indistinct yelling)
(men grunting)
(woman continues screaming)
(whistles)
(objects clattering)
Go home, lovers.
Maybe they are home.
[gang leader] All right,
which building is it?
This one?
Quit staring
and answer already.
Who cares?
Like, who even cares?
(sniffs)
The bird will tell us.
Won't ya?
(dramatic theme playing)
(wind howling)
[gang leader] Okay.
What's
your apartment number?
2B.
Please, baby, please
(distant siren wailing)
I feel like I'm in hell
Baby, please
I vanished in your spell,
baby, please
Baby...
(train rumbling)
See, I've never thrown a punch,
but oh, boy, I'd like to.
A good solid pound.
That doesn't sound so bad.
I'd be just terrific, I think.
I wouldn't bash
someone's brains in.
I wanna punch and punch
and punch and punch and punch
until a woman's teeth
are knocked high and her gums
and her jaw's hanging down,
detached from her chin.
I wouldn't kick
a man in the ribs
until his chest is flat
and his heart is a flapjack.
I wouldn't do that.
And neither would Arthur.
That's
because he refuses to fight.
He refuses to be a man.
I won't be terrorized
into acting like a savage
just because I was born male.
And I don't want to be
rewarded for it either.
(scoffs) He doesn't want
the reward, friends.
Mr. Joe Louis
doesn't want his prize.
(laughter)
I'd ask you to give it to me,
but you can't.
It doesn't work
that way, duck.
You might as well
keep the title.
[Ida] Well,
I think Arthur has it right.
Men want me.
(gasps) Not you, Baker,
my precious love.
But yeah, sometimes you.
And women don't bore you?
[Ida] Most stupid women.
[Suze] Oh!
American women.
(Suze mimics dog barking)
[Les]
You, Ida, are an American
woman, you know that?
[Baker]
I hope you're not suggesting
that women don't endorse
the male identity.
In fact,
you reinforce masculinity
-inside me daily.
-(Ida laughs)
[Baker] You wouldn't
allow me to let go of it
any more than
another fellow would.
[Ida] Oh,
I'm oppressing you, am I?
You aren't at all interested
in dominating me?
[Les] I mean, what can
we do as men, really?
Inside the male-dominated
system,
inside the supreme sex class,
you know,
it is from ancient times.
But I'll tell you,
I'd like someone to be
my man for once
so I can relax for the weekend.
[Ida] Oh, yes,
that's the word for it, Les.
-[Ida] Relax.
-I'll be your man.
Sure you're interested
in being a man, Suze.
But are you interested
in growing up a boy,
dragooned until you act like
a boy is supposed to act?
"Dragooned!" My goodness.
How frightening.
No, all I'm saying is
all of us want to be
Stanley Kowalski.
I wasn't saying that.
Getting a woody
from our own power.
[Ida] Oh, Suze,
perhaps a bridge too far.
You're a Jewish woman!
-You love to fuck.
-She loves to be fucked.
[Les] I maintain
that we are all fucked
no matter what's
in our dungarees.
[Ida] Anyway,
is all of this punching talk,
this brutal Stanley Kowalski
talk really appropriate?
I mean, two people
have been terribly hurt.
Oh, they're surely dead.
[Ida] No, can't be.
Don't doubt that.
They're dead.
Not dead. Arthur?
Dead as the doe in Bambi.
You sound delighted.
She sounds orgiastic.
It's out of my control.
My tone.
Must be the lingering effects
of panic,
of shock because,
I mean, these hustlers,
these lunatics...
they know where we live.
The exact apartment, 2B.
Arthur's barely slept.
I'm all jitters.
Keep checking the lock.
I walk through the door,
check the lock,
I walk back to the bedroom
and then suddenly,
I see, not Brando himself,
but a Brando type
and aggressor
and his gang of Brandos
knocking down the door.
And well...
Well?
Well, I don't know what happens
when they get inside,
but it's a wild image,
really.
And it's the only image
in my whole head.
[Les] Hey, Arthur,
you want to play some sides?
[Baker] Yes,
give us some sounds.
Arthur's had his cage rattled.
Look at the deer.
Oh, he's just a slob
of a wet rag tonight,
aren't you, duck?
Come on.
Tell 'em.
-(record screeching)
-(all exclaiming)
Some men are the kind of men
other men fear.
Some men are the kind of men
other men want to hold tight
in a friendly embrace, unafraid.
Some are sissies for bullies.
Some are real sports
who play along.
But the world of men
is always one of comparison
and measurement!
I'm perceiving myself right now
in contrast to the two men
in this room
and in contrast
to the two women also.
Am I enough of a man?
Is my attempt to be
more of a man pitiful
and obvious?
I feel threatened
by all four of you, by,
by both your sexes, your,
your collective sexitness.
Ow.
("When You're Hungry In Love"
playing on record player)
Arthur hasn't slept.
Tonight is like a night
When you're hungry
in love
The moon's like a balloon
Risin' in love
And the face
is like the space
Where your...
goes in to love
Always the same
When you're hungry
in love
The lake is like a cake
When you're hungry
in love
The wind,
it's got you pinned
To the winds
of the...
And the heart
is like a tart
That you know
you'll never get enough of
Always the same
When you're hungry in love
Always the same
When you're hungry in love
You've always been
very precious with me.
That's a sweet thing to say.
I don't really care
for that kind of preciousness.
Hmm.
Admit you have
a terrible sense of humor.
No.
Admit you have
no sense of humor at all then?
I admit it's amazing the things
I don't know about you.
Now, stand up.
Come, kiss my neck.
No. No.
No, no, no.
I want to worship you.
I want to...
I want to be beneath you.
I want to be here
on the floor at your feet,
kissing your feet.
Play along, Arthur.
Play easy to get,
won't you?
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pull you up.
Yes.
Pull me up.
Give me French kisses!
(Suze chuckles)
Everyone thinks
we're just great.
Everyone loves us.
[Suze] The last of the greats.
I want to eat
a fuckin' hamburger.
Hmm.
(scoffs)
[Suze] Hey.
I've decided
to let you be the crybaby
about all of this!
(door slams)
(dramatic theme playing)
[door bangs]
[door opens in distance]
[Maureen] Help me.
[bottles clattering]
Come on, help me.
Come on.
No doormat.
I don't know how you live.
I mean, of course,
you are 2B, but I'm 10F.
Help me, my goodness.
Yes.
So, come on, Susan.
What,
what do you want me to do?
Help a neighbor.
(sauntering theme playing)
This must be
what purgatory is like.
Always
a flight of stairs beneath
a beautiful woman
never able to catch up to her.
But what would happen
when you reach her?
I mean, where would you be then?
Heaven?
Or someplace else?
(romantic theme playing)
[Maureen] Join me.
[Maureen] Come on.
(Suze sighs)
Are you famous?
I ought to be famous.
But I'm just married.
Right.
But I'm married, too.
Yeah.
I've seen your husband.
Where have you seen him?
You spy
all that junk out there?
I myself am not interested
in all that junk.
I want a piece of art.
Fine art.
Something big and messy,
takes up the whole wall.
Something abstract, you know?
I was waiting
at the artist studio
all day today.
Had a nice,
sloppy one picked out.
Then I started thinking,
"Where's Daddy?"
And do you know
where he was at the last?
He was at Gimbel's,
buying me
another cold plug-in box.
Another stand-in for a man
but more powerful, harder.
Poor dope
doesn't even realize
that I'm surrounded
by gigantic vibrators.
(chuckles)
Just doesn't fit this
apartment, I'm sorry.
These are the slums,
and I'm a slum starlet,
and it's as crummy
and miserable as all that.
I saw two people get murdered
on our stoop last night.
Yes, it's exactly
like that.
Ostentatious, showoff-y.
I don't want this junk.
I'm a wife.
But I'm no wifey.
You know,
wifey with a smile
across your face
and a trick up
your sleeve.
Submissive, yet controlling.
You know the type.
I don't have a television.
(Billy whistles)
Babe.
Billy, my love!
Use the hidden key.
[Billy] Yes,
but where's it hidden, Maureen?
[Maureen]
Try the plant. No--
Try the rock.
The big boy right there.
Oh, those aren't
for us girls.
(Billy whistles)
[Billy] There's no key out here,
Maureen.
Your husband
doesn't have his own key?
Daddy doesn't need a key.
He needs a map.
That's Billy.
He's taking me out.
Your husband take you out?
Sure.
When we get there,
he doesn't really
want to talk to me.
What am I thinking?
Mel has the hidden key.
Oh, poor Billy.
Hold on!
Hold on!
Where's Arthur, I wonder?
He's in bed.
Oh.
Who's bed, I wonder?
Doesn't matter.
Hand me my purse.
Your husband's
tender, right?
He doesn't want to own you.
He just wants
to love you, right?
You've done your best
to find a sensitive type,
an artistic soul.
He'd never knock you around.
That's exactly
what you wanted, isn't it?
Somebody gentle.
Here.
But, but men
are the executors of history.
They're the doers.
The performers, you know?
They instigate.
They disrupt.
They fuck.
Now none of us want a goon.
I mean, none of us
want an oaf.
But what if you just
want to get a little choked?
You know,
just a little choked.
Not too tight.
Just, you know, for fun.
(moans)
(music intensifies)
Baby, please.
Problem with pleasures.
What do you do for leisure?
Well, you can't have it
both ways with men,
can you?
Can you?
[Billy] It's the wrong key,
darling!
The wrong key,
you dummy!
What did I give him,
the key to my hope chest?
Geez.
Here. Just take
the whole batch.
(Maureen sighs deeply)
You like all this junk?
I've never even seen
a dishwasher.
I must have washed
20 dishes tonight.
Maybe 25.
Swell.
All right.
Here's the plan.
You know when you're a kid
and you have
this idea of trouble?
You know, like, thinking
you're in trouble
with your mama or pops?
Well, it's the worst thing
imaginable.
And then you grow up,
you become a woman.
And who's left to get
in trouble with?
Somehow with all
of that being true,
I've still got myself
in some trouble.
But don't you worry about me
because I'm gonna be in Europe.
You're going to take the key
from Billy on your way out.
I'll jet,
and you'll feed Taffeta.
She's a Burmese,
a very fussy little puss.
Oh, I don't like cats.
Arthur says because
I'm basically a cat, like,
I hate water
and other cats and all dogs.
Oh, well, she's a beast.
She's a terror.
And you are gonna
hate her good.
And you can use any
of these clunky old sex toys.
All right, you want
one of those muscle rags?
-[Billy] Dummy.
-Oh, no.
Arthur isn't interested
in physical fitness.
Well, we'll just give them
all to Billy.
He'll love us forever.
(Billy and Maureen laughing
hysterically)
(intense theme playing)
(soft saxophone music playing)
(indistinct chatter)
There you go.
Harder, harder.
(indistinct lively chatter)
(steamy romantic saxophone
music playing)
Come on.
Come dance with me.
(woman chuckles)
Thought you like bunnies.
Sure do.
(chuckles)
How about puppies?
Yeah, I do.
And how
about a little baby bear cub?
(gasps) Bears are
just horrible.
I hate bears.
All right, well,
there's no bears here.
Look, see?
There's no bears here.
All right?
Now go on.
Take it.
It's yours.
You can have it.
I like your pictures.
All right, well,
turn around
so I can blow you a little kiss.
Just one little kiss.
(women giggling)
Hey, blow me a kiss back.
Come on, blow me a kiss back.
Come on.
Hey, blow him a kiss,
you dumb tramp.
Bring your tight ass
back over here
and buy him a drink.
(whistles)
-Come on.
-Let's go!
(laughs)
-Let's go!
-[man] Come on, let's go!
(lively chattering)
(man whoops)
(door opens)
(man speaks indistinctly)
(door closes)
(door closes)
I know you.
-Clarinet Clyde, 2B.
-(snaps fingers)
2B.
2B, 2B, one, doo-doo, 2B one
Where's baby tonight?
Tell-tale nightingale.
Nowhere?
Hey, Beanie,
you're gonna play dead?
My, um, uh, c...
clarinet's...
It's broken now.
Hmm.
Shame.
Enticing eyes,
nimble fingers.
It was my father's.
(sighs)
Me, I'm fatherless.
Create a certain weakness,
some say.
I'm like that Wheeler
wasp, you know,
an etiological non-entity.
I don't want any...
William Wheeler, man,
the ethologist.
He watched the male wasp
forever and ever
and found nothing,
no behavior.
I mean it.
No way of being at all.
Well, that's not you.
(mimics wasp buzzing)
(ends buzzing)
(chuckles)
Men get away
with everything.
But I'm not interested
in getting away with anything.
Well, murder.
Quite, you
with your brave mask.
I broke the clarinet.
Maybe I'll break
the clarinet player.
Suze is at home.
Where she should be.
I wouldn't say that.
You didn't.
I'm just saying
I'm alone tonight.
(bathroom stall
lock clicks)
And you're with your band?
[man] Less of a band
than a pack of hungry hound dogs
ruled by a...
How does a guy become
a young gent?
You know,
you get born in the...
symptom of a sickness
in society.
Hey, 2B.
It's Arthur.
Hey, Arthur.
You a good sport?
Sport?
I meant, can you keep
something like a secret?
Which secret?
It's all a secret.
Ice it is what I'm saying.
(mimics wasp buzzing)
(water gurgling)
I don't want to get away
with anything either.
Well, marriage.
You don't know Suze.
What's to know?
You're circle now,
and that's Suze is trouble
looking for trouble.
And now my band's out there
tuning up,
and we're headed for a fight.
It's just a battle you're
fighting within yourselves.
(laughs)
You put me in a real mood.
So I'll, I'll see you again?
Will you?
2B, 2B one...
(water gurgling)
(ominous theme playing)
(ominous theme continues)
Please, baby, please.
(slow drumbeats)
Now I will patiently wait
for someone to pack me in a box
and ship me to the past.
They do things
differently there.
The past.
Well, the problem
of my personality can seem
wondrous again.
Meet me at the Heaven
on Earth building
near the Manhattan Bridge.
(laughter)
[Les]
Take the dirty taxicab
with the chewing gum
on the seat.
Let it remind you
that I'm not the only thing
stuck inside something hard
and unmoving.
[Les] I only ever wanted to know
what you were thinking
and if you were thinking of...
(woman giggles)
Shh!
...a plastic bag parked
on a thorny rose bush,
which is to say needs...
No, stop playing.
Stop playing. Stop playing.
But you said there was going
to be dancing, Dickie,
I want to go.
Let's just go.
The girl wants to leave.
She don't know
what she wants.
You said
there was gonna be a band.
Yeah, you're looking
at a band.
Bands play music.
I know that, you chimpanzee.
[Dickie] Okay, look,
I'm the sensitive sort.
I want to hear poetry
being read to me.
Well, maybe I don't want
such a sensitive sort.
Maybe I want a big old brute.
I think you are
the brute.
[Les] Hey, hey, you gonna cause
a real scene here, kids.
Yeah, well,
we're looking
for a real scene.
All right, come on, man,
just read the poem.
How about that...
I like that heaven
and earth business.
Why don't-- Why don't
you just read it, okay?
[Baker] You're not hearing,
my friend.
He's telling you
that you are agitators.
He's saying you have
no etiquette.
Look, I don't know
where you all come from,
but you don't look
so upper crust to me.
(chuckles)
Oh, we're poor like you.
Just educated.
I'm not poor, Dickie.
We're not dumb.
[Ida] And why would
a sensitive soul like you
be looking to pick a fight?
Because I'm misunderstood!
(chuckles)
[Dickie]
Just read the poem, okay?
But start from the beginning.
I want to hear
the stuff about...
about the gum stuck
on the yellow cab.
Dickie, I want
to dance. (whimpers)
I wasn't gonna hit you.
No, stop. Don't hide from me.
Look at me.
I'm sensitive.
I'm a gentleman.
[Les] Hey, how did you know
about tonight?
Who invited you?
We're friends of Arthur's.
[Les] Arthur,
who's this kid?
[Baker] Yeah,
Arthur, help us out here.
I said we're friends.
You don't got to push it.
[Baker] He's one of them
street killers, ain't he?
He's in that street gang.
(glass shattering)
(woman screams)
(glass shattering)
(several women screaming)
Yeah.
Let's go back.
Give the boys a while longer.
Well, you just might end up
with that sock in the eye
you've been asking for.
Maybe I want
to be feared.
Maybe I want
to be imposing.
Yeah.
Impressive.
Ida, tell me,
how does a woman get respected?
Easy.
Just be very boring.
Men respect anything
that bores them.
I've been
having these fantasies.
Fantasies where you smash open
a guy's head
with a bottle of Schlitz?
See, this is
where you're all backwards.
We are the fantasy.
We're smart.
We like to get off.
We don't got to mince
or whimper or hop around
in high-heeled shoes
to get our way.
We're choice.
I sure want
a more important job
than making Arthur happy.
(speaking indistinctly
and laughing in phone booth)
Your importance to Arthur
has far more to do
with how much you can hurt him
than how happy you can make him.
What is our marriage then?
A strange sort of friendship
that started out
with a few
sexual privileges?
Yeah.
That's marriage.
Well, I'm through
being sexy.
Ugh...
How long can anyone be sexy
for anyway?
Even men.
Although they'll always
have debonair.
[woman in booth]
Heh, I'm sorry...
Never have debonair.
If I was a man,
I'd buy a leather jacket.
Nice and tough.
Well, I am definitely a woman,
and I certainly enjoy it.
I especially
enjoy female friendships.
All that flattery
and flirting, gushes of lies,
and lovely words
that don't mean a thing.
Thrilling sport.
I mean what I say to you.
When?
[woman in booth]
Please, help!
(sobbing)
Give me a dime.
I need a fucking dime for love.
(coins jingling and clanging)
Street corner.
Filled with fantasy.
(sobbing continues;
dialing rotary phone)
You want to bet
she'll change his mind?
[woman in booth]
No. Please, no.
(sobbing) No.
I'm sorry.
I don't have plans
and schemes.
I don't have
hopes and dreams.
(mystical theme playing)
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
And I don't have fun desires
I don't have happy endings
And I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
I don't have happiness
And I guess
I never will ever again
When you walked out on me
In walked old misery
And he's been here
since then
And I don't have love
to share
And I don't have
one who cares
And I don't have anything
Since I don't have
You, you, you
You, you, you, you
You, you, you
I'll be right over.
I never told him
I wanted to be alone.
I only told him
I wanted to be left alone.
Isn't that different?
(distant siren wailing)
(ominous theme playing)
(metal clanging)
(dog barking in distance)
That's probably
just kids.
Bunch of boys.
What were you like
as a boy?
Um, same as now.
Does anyone
really ever change?
Of course.
I'm always changing.
I'd like to be
someone else entirely.
[Arthur] It's a frightening
thing to hear from one's wife.
(metallic clanging continues)
You'd rather me
be anyone else
in the whole entire world,
never, ever?
Well, um, that's,
that's not the same thing.
We're talking about
you being you
while also evolving,
not about substituting you
with another person.
We're talking
about Suze as she is,
not about actual magic.
Arthur,
play the game, won't you?
No, I don't
feel like being
put under extreme pressure
tonight.
You're angry with me.
I told you I wasn't.
Only you don't believe me.
You love me then?
I'm...
I'm sensitive
to atmosphere.
No.
You know I love you.
That's implied.
But we can't do something
completely out of character
and expect me
to understand.
(dogs howling;
object crashes)
(glass shatters)
(dog yelping)
So you good on me then?
I love you for now, Suze.
But I'm getting real nervous
about the you that's coming.
But you'll change, too.
-Into what?
-I don't know.
We'll change into each other.
Isn't that what happens?
(glass shatters)
(door creaks)
Oh, no.
Suze!
I'm walking downstairs.
I don't care at all!
You care that
I'm asking you not to?
All show and no go!
They would have killed us
already if they wanted.
We know that.
Thinking we're thicker
than a Five Dollar Molly,
but we're not.
You're looking for a fist
in the face, Suze.
(Stanley Kowalski voice)
I'm the king around here,
and don't you forget it.
Suze?
I'm the king around here,
and don't you forget it!
(tense theme playing)
(whispering) I'm the king around
here, and don't you forget it.
(gentle theme playing)
They've been...
They gave us
a real working over.
Your pad just seemed like
a hiding kind of pad.
Can we hide in here
with you for a while?
(door creaks open)
They weren't even there.
Must have...
Time to split, Teddy.
(light snarl)
(keys jingling)
It's not such a palace.
My keys...
My keys!
(intense theme playing)
Arthur!
(thunder rumbling)
(people vocalizing)
(sizzling)
(sizzling)
(slow jazz music playing)
I feel I should be
invited to sit down.
(exhales,
mimics gunshot)
Billy.
Ugh,
I am surely on the make,
and there is absolutely
nothing doing.
Seemed like maybe I was here
on the wrong night,
and then I run into you two.
And, um,
well, maybe that's
not for nothing.
You on a sweetheart date?
Arthur brought me.
Oh...
Saw the address
in the back of a matchbook,
thought we'd like it.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I love when
a man takes the lead.
(chuckles) Oh, well,
that's not Arthur.
[Billy] Well,
then Arthur's a bum.
[Suze] You know, it might
sound corny to you,
but Arthur refuses to be a man.
Well, Arthur, if you're
not a man, what are you?
I... I am a man.
I just don't feel
the need to act male.
It's hard to believe
I was even born male. Heh.
I've never been
enough of a genuine man
to suggest I am one.
So maybe I'm not one.
Boy, what a kick.
But you're not a woman.
You're not a woman, Arthur.
Of course he's not a woman.
Gak.
Here's a question
for you, Billy.
Hmm.
What is a man, anyway?
Ooh, ring a ding,
ding, ding.
Well, I suppose
we could start
with an inspection
of the groin.
No, I, I think
that's baloney.
It's not only expected
that I identify
with other men,
but it's also implied
I'm not allowed
to identify with women.
I can't share
any of their feelings
or interests because we're
supposed to be opposites.
Well, what about fucking?
I mean, doesn't fucking
make you feel like
more of a fucking man?
Sometimes it feels like
Suze is inside of me.
(Billy chuckles; Suze laughs)
Mm.
You know, I have
a terrific theory on this.
And some blue night,
I'm gonna tell you
all about it.
No, tell us now.
We want to hear
the theory right now!
No, you bossy little cow.
We'll buy you a drink.
Do I look like I want
to spend my night
teaching a dip
and his dyke how to be cool?
Good night, Billy.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No.
Let's have another gin rickey
and Arthur will dance
with you.
Planet Manhattan
to Saturn Suzy,
your husband's here
for someone else.
I knew that.
[Billy]
Well, if you know that, then...
what are you two doing
living the big lie?
We love each other.
(Billy laughs)
Oh, boy.
Oh, that is a tickle.
Sit down, sister!
I am not your sister,
mister.
And he doesn't act
like a woman.
He acts like a queer.
Same for you.
(Suze grunts)
(glasses shatter)
[Suze] We put
in our appearances!
We put in our parts
our whole lives.
We are art, Arthur.
I'd buy us
and I'd hang us on a wall.
Man and wife, 1956,
Who would...
(object clatters)
(whispers)
Who would buy that?
(Joanne sobbing)
Listen, Joanne, you said
you'd be our eye roll.
All right, the only reason
the Gents let you come along
is 'cause
this is your pop's car,
so you got to can it.
You got to take
all your tears,
and you got to throw 'em
in the ash can.
You hear me?
You're degenerates!
You're apes!
[Dickie] Hey! If they're apes,
then I'm an ape.
Why did you even like me
in the first place?
You know, you know
I was a tense young man.
You know I was tough
to get to the center of.
But that's what
a girl does, Dickie.
She makes a pretty poodle
out of a salty dog.
I mean, you're around now,
but you're gonna change.
Either you're both deluded
or everyone in
the human race is deluded.
You can't make
a Mickey Mouse eat.
If you did, you'd drop him.
Sure thing.
Dickie, stand up for me.
Tell him.
[man 1]
This is just like Bev.
This is exactly, like,
Swanky Bev in a real mansion.
Yeah. Yeah,
Bev kept saying
there's no such thing
as a real man.
Like, guys all got together
and made the whole thing
of being guys up--
like, I was a goof
wearing some man mask
trying to outdo everyone.
Like, we was all trying
to outdo each other.
Not just the Young Gents,
but also all the men,
all of them, everywhere.
[man 1] She wanted a father.
-Boy, did she ever.
-[man 2 laughs]
Well, what's feeling
real, anyway?
No, Teddy, you're a true blue.
You're a sappy honeybee.
You got a girl?
Dickie, shut her up.
How about this?
You boys love a competition,
right?
You want to win a prize,
isn't that so, and prove
to each other who's best?
How about we have
a game, a do or die,
and whoever wins
get something even better
from my pops
than his car parts?
How about...his wristwatch?
How about his daughter?
The watch is fine.
What's the game already?
Simple.
You have to open yourself up.
You have to say
something honest.
You have to be vulnerable
and tender with your feelings.
Whoever does it best wins.
You got smog in your noggin'.
How are you gonna
judge a thing like that?
We're not your damn girlfriends.
I'll do it.
I want to do it.
Don't.
[Joanne]
Dickie will go first.
Dickie, say that thing
that you were saying
the other night...
about how all of you
are fighting against
the punishing world
and about how none of you
ever grew up really, instead,
you just merged together
like a pack of animals because,
because you knew there was
something about other men
you had to protect
yourselves from?
[Dickie] I wasn't really
saying that, Joanne.
I'm going first.
There's a scale
I know you're all rating me on
and now you got me
rating myself on it, too.
A scale for belonging.
I'm...
living based on where I stand
on this fake fucking scale
because I'm obsessed
with a lot of you.
I'm terrified of each of you.
I'm in agony that I don't
size up to any of you
because you're all
the standard of the kind of man
I got to appear to be.
Oh...
No!
(wolves howling)
[Teddy]
You two are already done.
Now you want to drop dead twice?
Sweet Dickie.
Sweet Dickie and lovely Joanne.
-Get us our keys back.
-Now, can't you see
you're playing
with the lowliest of the lot?
They're gonna take
everything you have
and make it their own.
Me? I don't want
what I don't got.
But you two aren't
dealing with me.
How about a deal though?
We don't have
anything worth anything,
but I know someone who does,
same building too.
Sure you like right off
the sales floor at Gimbel's.
Plus, they're in Europe.
Maybe even forever.
How about their keys
for ours?
Swaps.
She's lying, Teddy.
The only thing we've
got in the whole world
is the person sitting
across from us.
And all we know
in the whole world is
whatever that person says.
I'll see about your swap.
Find you later.
Don't you find me.
[Suze] Hmm.
Okay...
"Find you later.
Don't you find me."
Terrific.
Maureen's not upstairs.
I know where
Maureen's not better than you.
I like your get-up, stud.
Well, look, you're
not getting my red roses.
Move.
Just tell me
your blue night's theory.
Just tell me that
blue night's theory of yours.
That's all.
That's it.
We are living
on a dying planet
filled with
impossible obstacles.
[Maureen] Billy baby,
get up here.
(indistinct chatter)
(glassware clinking)
(up-tempo jazz music playing)
(people vocalizing)
(music continues)
Baby, please
Please
Baby, please
Please
Please
[Arthur] No, don't come.
Don't come.
Please don't come.
Please don't come to the city.
[Arthur's dad on phone]
Telling your mother not
to do what she wants to do
is the best possible way
to ensure that she will do it.
But that comes
as a real surprise.
[Arthur] Suze and I
are in the middle
of something here,
and if I knew what it was,
I'd tell you, but I don't.
You are just moping around,
sitting there like a pole.
You remember what
a happy boy you were?
No.
Son, it is our troubled minds
that make us so good at playing
the root
on our licorice sticks.
We're just the same that way.
(door closes)
Arthur is an outsider.
What's the matter with him?
Is he...
too wrapped up in himself?
Should we just
count him out
for good from now on?
Is it because
he looks different?
Is it some particular
way he acts?
If he can just make up his mind
not to be an always outsider,
then the gang
will easily accept
and invite him in.
Sure.
That sounds swell.
I want to be a happy boy.
I don't have to certify
my sex to either sex.
I want to feel comfortable
in the company of men
without having to prove
that I'm a caveman and I've...
(whimpers)
I've done that job, haven't I?
I got married, didn't I?
I'm a...
I'm a tenderhearted husband,
aren't I?
I, I love my wife, don't I?
I'm gonna,
I'm gonna die in her arms.
Won't I?
Won't I?
Won't I, Dad?
Dad?
Will I?
[Arthur's dad]
No, Arthur, I tell you,
it's not so tragic
as all of that.
But of course, we're
all walking tragedies,
all us guys.
"What a piece
of work is man," huh?
Hamlet.
All right,
you know the rest of it.
I'm gonna go follow my wife.
I wouldn't suggest it.
And I won't tell
your mother anything.
'Night, son.
(dial tone droning)
Man delights not me.
No.
Nor woman neither.
(police siren blaring
in distance)
(dramatic theme playing)
(camera flash popping)
(howls)
I got a stub.
Ticket for a show maybe?
Screenings nightly
of Bijou 52
are from 9:00 p.m.
to 4:00 a.m.
Tonight's films
are Boy Convict
and Wrestle the Devil.
The next
showing's in six minutes.
That's $1 plus $0.15.
Hey, can you
just let me peek a head in?
I want to see if there's
someone in there that I know.
Hmm...
You look just like
my husband Arthur.
Hmm.
Poor Arthur.
(snickers)
Give me two dollars
to peek your head in.
Before,
it was $1.15 before.
Oh, you're in there
to bite.
Dollar fifteen for boys
and two dollars for girls.
(slides bill)
(woman laughing)
Hey, do you mind telling me
if you know a guy named Teddy?
Usually wears a leather jacket
with the words "Young Gents"
on the back.
Is that your husband?
Yeah, he is.
Does he know you're a boochie?
Heh. I'm not though.
Heh. Yeah.
So what'd your husband do
to have you
chasing him down here?
Unless down here
is the reason why
you're chasing him.
This constant desire
to couple.
It's so strong.
It's like
constant companionship.
And then you forget yourself,
the self, you know?
Couple up to forget
about the condition
of being human
and all the pains,
plus how damn difficult
it is to survive.
Hmm...
My husband,
uh, Teddy,
he's been so gentle with me,
even when I wanted
to be rough with him.
(exhales)
How am I ever
gonna give it to him
the way he wants to get it?
I'm gonna ask him.
Hey, are you
writing a book here?
Take a quick peep
around, Warden.
None of these Joe Does
want to talk to you.
They don't even like gals.
They're not here to flirt.
(projector whirring)
Hey, do you know
a guy named Teddy?
The Young Gents.
You heard of that?
I know
those degenerates.
You do?
Do you know Teddy?
Do you know
if he's coming here tonight?
I don't know Teddy
from Freddy from Serengeti.
But, boy, did I hand it
to one of 'em
just last month.
Sure messed 'em up bad.
Still makes me a little,
you know, sick
to think about it.
You should really beat it.
No fooling, miss.
I'm just gonna wait here
for Teddy, thank you.
What's your bag, man?
You're not hearing me.
You're sitting in a room
full of criminal queers.
I'm gonna blow
my whistle in five seconds.
You're gonna want
to cut out in three.
Do I look like a bear?
Or do I look like a pig?
(sighs)
(whistle blowing)
(people screaming)
Run! Run!
(people clamoring)
Run! Run!
(air raid sirens wailing)
(police sirens blaring)
(police sirens fading)
Caught you.
I... um, I caught
you following me.
Following her.
That bunny lives to hop.
(chuckles)
Yeah.
She thinks
she's the big dick
solving some kind of
great whatsit.
Yeah, white hot thrills.
Well, I don't got her keys,
though I do have her man.
Um...
what y'all did to that girl
was deranged.
What's deranged?
It's, it's like whacko.
Like unzipped.
Say, want to lose control?
I'm, I'm, um...
I'm, I'm not in control.
You know,
there's playing it cool
and then there's just...
being cool.
Yeah. Um, I, I play
the clarinet.
Play me.
Play with me.
See how I wail.
Who made you?
Angel or devil?
You got to draw a line.
So you know
where the line is...
when you cross it.
You ever crossed it, bean?
Maybe for one
of those boys in your band?
No. Um...
I never gave them
a second thought.
(whispers) You ever given
them a first thought?
Teddy,
angel,
you don't have
to be a killer.
At least I'm not
an artist, stiff.
I am stiff.
You could be my favorite.
Favorite favorite?
(classical Latin dance
theme playing)
(music continues)
(woman laughing)
Oh, it'll pass.
Said the crying man
to his subway train.
(woman gasps)
(blows striking; fighting)
Geez, Teddy.
(woman screaming)
(door opens)
Suze...
you're my wife.
And you're a wondrous thing.
We're not squares,
we're someone else.
But I'm on the hook for you,
and you're on the hook from me.
And we can love,
like, crazy, like wow!
We just have to figure it out.
We're gonna figure
this all out together,
and then it's gonna be unreal.
Suze?
Hey, Suze?
[Suze] I'm home, duck.
Come to bed, will you?
Did you lock the door?
[Suze] What's the fucking point
in locking the fucking door?
Please, baby, please
[Suze] Arthur!
So, Arthur, how's that
clarinet? Still broken?
-[Arthur] Still broken.
-Still broken.
Tell your old man
you broke his piece,
get in loads of trouble.
[Arthur] We're grownups.
[Suze] There's no such thing
as trouble.
(scoffs)
Then stop punishing us.
I'll do whatever I want
'cause I'm a wild one.
Yeah, wild and free.
Heart and ribs
like bird and cage.
When it flutters,
set it free.
No one's trying to lick
you into shape, Susan dear.
[Ida] I think we're all
just very lucky that
the sharpest knife on
the table's for spreading jam.
Yeah, I think Ida's saying
we don't need all the...
the, the friction.
[Suze] Let her say
what she's saying.
I'm saying, screw.
(banging on the door)
Suze, you deviant,
answer that.
(banging continues)
[Ida] Arthur, you sap,
answer your door.
(suspenseful theme playing)
Snobs, sit down.
Don't you go showing off,
for you're the big shot.
Just give us the number
of that hotsie apartment
with all the fancy shit in it.
I don't think you ought to.
Ought to what?
Bust your bitch wife
in the nose?
Ah, it's 10F.
Get off it already.
You two,
with me upstairs.
Watch 'em.
(suspenseful theme continues)
(Dickie vocalizing)
I saw Liz Taylor
at the Bijou 52.
-She was wearing a fur coat.
-(opens lighter)
I saw Monty Clift.
They were on a date.
I watched two boys
wrestling underwater.
There was a bust
with the cops.
I don't know what kind of
mixed up you are,
but whatever itch
you got to scratch,
do it on some other guy's ding
some other the night.
Hey!
Zip it.
Missus,
take your heinie over here.
Hi, Dickie.
Hiya, Suze.
Hiya, poets.
Psst.
They're gonna be
up there a while,
lots of stuff,
lots of big, big old,
heavy high-ticket items.
We're in no...
rush.
Let me go to the restroom.
No.
(dry chuckle)
You'd have done better
if you headed
to a national park
and marrying a grizzly.
There's no way she has
a muffin in her pants.
(object slices flesh)
(groaning)
(gasps for air)
Scram!
(woman screaming)
Aw, shh, Dickie.
Shh.
You're all right.
You're a healthy,
well-balanced, young gentleman.
You're okay.
He killed that darling
Joanne, didn't he?
You've been asking for it.
We'll handle him later.
Ice it.
Keep it like a secret.
Okay, bean?
Hear me?
(woman screaming in distance)
Arthur,
he just wanted us to be
scared of his manhood
so he wouldn't
be scared of ours.
(distant siren wailing)
(glass shattering)
(Maureen sobbing)
[Maureen] Oh, hold me, Dad.
Daddy, Daddy.
Daddy.
Dad... Daddy.
Oh, Daddy.
I'm nobody's wife.
(orchestra sounding instruments)
(audience applauding)
(dramatic theme playing)
(orchestra playing
sauntering music)
(grand uplifting theme playing)
(sweeping romantic theme
playing)
Please, baby, please
I'll do anything you need
Baby, please
In the bleeding
of the light
Baby, please
Tonight, baby
I'm alone
Please, baby, please
Should I get down
on my knees?
Baby, please
If you hurt me,
I won't care
Not at all
I swear
I swear, baby, please
(song continues; instrumental)
(dramatic theme playing)
(man whistles)
(man howls)
Please, baby, please
I'll do anything you need
Baby, please
In the bleeding
of the light, baby, please
Tonight, baby, I'm alone
(all screaming)
Please, baby, please
Should I get down
on my knees?
(instrumental theme playing)
Whoo!
(gang whooping
and hollering indistinctly)
-(woman screaming)
-(indistinct yelling)
(men grunting)
(woman continues screaming)
(whistles)
(objects clattering)
Go home, lovers.
Maybe they are home.
[gang leader] All right,
which building is it?
This one?
Quit staring
and answer already.
Who cares?
Like, who even cares?
(sniffs)
The bird will tell us.
Won't ya?
(dramatic theme playing)
(wind howling)
[gang leader] Okay.
What's
your apartment number?
2B.
Please, baby, please
(distant siren wailing)
I feel like I'm in hell
Baby, please
I vanished in your spell,
baby, please
Baby...
(train rumbling)
See, I've never thrown a punch,
but oh, boy, I'd like to.
A good solid pound.
That doesn't sound so bad.
I'd be just terrific, I think.
I wouldn't bash
someone's brains in.
I wanna punch and punch
and punch and punch and punch
until a woman's teeth
are knocked high and her gums
and her jaw's hanging down,
detached from her chin.
I wouldn't kick
a man in the ribs
until his chest is flat
and his heart is a flapjack.
I wouldn't do that.
And neither would Arthur.
That's
because he refuses to fight.
He refuses to be a man.
I won't be terrorized
into acting like a savage
just because I was born male.
And I don't want to be
rewarded for it either.
(scoffs) He doesn't want
the reward, friends.
Mr. Joe Louis
doesn't want his prize.
(laughter)
I'd ask you to give it to me,
but you can't.
It doesn't work
that way, duck.
You might as well
keep the title.
[Ida] Well,
I think Arthur has it right.
Men want me.
(gasps) Not you, Baker,
my precious love.
But yeah, sometimes you.
And women don't bore you?
[Ida] Most stupid women.
[Suze] Oh!
American women.
(Suze mimics dog barking)
[Les]
You, Ida, are an American
woman, you know that?
[Baker]
I hope you're not suggesting
that women don't endorse
the male identity.
In fact,
you reinforce masculinity
-inside me daily.
-(Ida laughs)
[Baker] You wouldn't
allow me to let go of it
any more than
another fellow would.
[Ida] Oh,
I'm oppressing you, am I?
You aren't at all interested
in dominating me?
[Les] I mean, what can
we do as men, really?
Inside the male-dominated
system,
inside the supreme sex class,
you know,
it is from ancient times.
But I'll tell you,
I'd like someone to be
my man for once
so I can relax for the weekend.
[Ida] Oh, yes,
that's the word for it, Les.
-[Ida] Relax.
-I'll be your man.
Sure you're interested
in being a man, Suze.
But are you interested
in growing up a boy,
dragooned until you act like
a boy is supposed to act?
"Dragooned!" My goodness.
How frightening.
No, all I'm saying is
all of us want to be
Stanley Kowalski.
I wasn't saying that.
Getting a woody
from our own power.
[Ida] Oh, Suze,
perhaps a bridge too far.
You're a Jewish woman!
-You love to fuck.
-She loves to be fucked.
[Les] I maintain
that we are all fucked
no matter what's
in our dungarees.
[Ida] Anyway,
is all of this punching talk,
this brutal Stanley Kowalski
talk really appropriate?
I mean, two people
have been terribly hurt.
Oh, they're surely dead.
[Ida] No, can't be.
Don't doubt that.
They're dead.
Not dead. Arthur?
Dead as the doe in Bambi.
You sound delighted.
She sounds orgiastic.
It's out of my control.
My tone.
Must be the lingering effects
of panic,
of shock because,
I mean, these hustlers,
these lunatics...
they know where we live.
The exact apartment, 2B.
Arthur's barely slept.
I'm all jitters.
Keep checking the lock.
I walk through the door,
check the lock,
I walk back to the bedroom
and then suddenly,
I see, not Brando himself,
but a Brando type
and aggressor
and his gang of Brandos
knocking down the door.
And well...
Well?
Well, I don't know what happens
when they get inside,
but it's a wild image,
really.
And it's the only image
in my whole head.
[Les] Hey, Arthur,
you want to play some sides?
[Baker] Yes,
give us some sounds.
Arthur's had his cage rattled.
Look at the deer.
Oh, he's just a slob
of a wet rag tonight,
aren't you, duck?
Come on.
Tell 'em.
-(record screeching)
-(all exclaiming)
Some men are the kind of men
other men fear.
Some men are the kind of men
other men want to hold tight
in a friendly embrace, unafraid.
Some are sissies for bullies.
Some are real sports
who play along.
But the world of men
is always one of comparison
and measurement!
I'm perceiving myself right now
in contrast to the two men
in this room
and in contrast
to the two women also.
Am I enough of a man?
Is my attempt to be
more of a man pitiful
and obvious?
I feel threatened
by all four of you, by,
by both your sexes, your,
your collective sexitness.
Ow.
("When You're Hungry In Love"
playing on record player)
Arthur hasn't slept.
Tonight is like a night
When you're hungry
in love
The moon's like a balloon
Risin' in love
And the face
is like the space
Where your...
goes in to love
Always the same
When you're hungry
in love
The lake is like a cake
When you're hungry
in love
The wind,
it's got you pinned
To the winds
of the...
And the heart
is like a tart
That you know
you'll never get enough of
Always the same
When you're hungry in love
Always the same
When you're hungry in love
You've always been
very precious with me.
That's a sweet thing to say.
I don't really care
for that kind of preciousness.
Hmm.
Admit you have
a terrible sense of humor.
No.
Admit you have
no sense of humor at all then?
I admit it's amazing the things
I don't know about you.
Now, stand up.
Come, kiss my neck.
No. No.
No, no, no.
I want to worship you.
I want to...
I want to be beneath you.
I want to be here
on the floor at your feet,
kissing your feet.
Play along, Arthur.
Play easy to get,
won't you?
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pull you up.
Yes.
Pull me up.
Give me French kisses!
(Suze chuckles)
Everyone thinks
we're just great.
Everyone loves us.
[Suze] The last of the greats.
I want to eat
a fuckin' hamburger.
Hmm.
(scoffs)
[Suze] Hey.
I've decided
to let you be the crybaby
about all of this!
(door slams)
(dramatic theme playing)
[door bangs]
[door opens in distance]
[Maureen] Help me.
[bottles clattering]
Come on, help me.
Come on.
No doormat.
I don't know how you live.
I mean, of course,
you are 2B, but I'm 10F.
Help me, my goodness.
Yes.
So, come on, Susan.
What,
what do you want me to do?
Help a neighbor.
(sauntering theme playing)
This must be
what purgatory is like.
Always
a flight of stairs beneath
a beautiful woman
never able to catch up to her.
But what would happen
when you reach her?
I mean, where would you be then?
Heaven?
Or someplace else?
(romantic theme playing)
[Maureen] Join me.
[Maureen] Come on.
(Suze sighs)
Are you famous?
I ought to be famous.
But I'm just married.
Right.
But I'm married, too.
Yeah.
I've seen your husband.
Where have you seen him?
You spy
all that junk out there?
I myself am not interested
in all that junk.
I want a piece of art.
Fine art.
Something big and messy,
takes up the whole wall.
Something abstract, you know?
I was waiting
at the artist studio
all day today.
Had a nice,
sloppy one picked out.
Then I started thinking,
"Where's Daddy?"
And do you know
where he was at the last?
He was at Gimbel's,
buying me
another cold plug-in box.
Another stand-in for a man
but more powerful, harder.
Poor dope
doesn't even realize
that I'm surrounded
by gigantic vibrators.
(chuckles)
Just doesn't fit this
apartment, I'm sorry.
These are the slums,
and I'm a slum starlet,
and it's as crummy
and miserable as all that.
I saw two people get murdered
on our stoop last night.
Yes, it's exactly
like that.
Ostentatious, showoff-y.
I don't want this junk.
I'm a wife.
But I'm no wifey.
You know,
wifey with a smile
across your face
and a trick up
your sleeve.
Submissive, yet controlling.
You know the type.
I don't have a television.
(Billy whistles)
Babe.
Billy, my love!
Use the hidden key.
[Billy] Yes,
but where's it hidden, Maureen?
[Maureen]
Try the plant. No--
Try the rock.
The big boy right there.
Oh, those aren't
for us girls.
(Billy whistles)
[Billy] There's no key out here,
Maureen.
Your husband
doesn't have his own key?
Daddy doesn't need a key.
He needs a map.
That's Billy.
He's taking me out.
Your husband take you out?
Sure.
When we get there,
he doesn't really
want to talk to me.
What am I thinking?
Mel has the hidden key.
Oh, poor Billy.
Hold on!
Hold on!
Where's Arthur, I wonder?
He's in bed.
Oh.
Who's bed, I wonder?
Doesn't matter.
Hand me my purse.
Your husband's
tender, right?
He doesn't want to own you.
He just wants
to love you, right?
You've done your best
to find a sensitive type,
an artistic soul.
He'd never knock you around.
That's exactly
what you wanted, isn't it?
Somebody gentle.
Here.
But, but men
are the executors of history.
They're the doers.
The performers, you know?
They instigate.
They disrupt.
They fuck.
Now none of us want a goon.
I mean, none of us
want an oaf.
But what if you just
want to get a little choked?
You know,
just a little choked.
Not too tight.
Just, you know, for fun.
(moans)
(music intensifies)
Baby, please.
Problem with pleasures.
What do you do for leisure?
Well, you can't have it
both ways with men,
can you?
Can you?
[Billy] It's the wrong key,
darling!
The wrong key,
you dummy!
What did I give him,
the key to my hope chest?
Geez.
Here. Just take
the whole batch.
(Maureen sighs deeply)
You like all this junk?
I've never even seen
a dishwasher.
I must have washed
20 dishes tonight.
Maybe 25.
Swell.
All right.
Here's the plan.
You know when you're a kid
and you have
this idea of trouble?
You know, like, thinking
you're in trouble
with your mama or pops?
Well, it's the worst thing
imaginable.
And then you grow up,
you become a woman.
And who's left to get
in trouble with?
Somehow with all
of that being true,
I've still got myself
in some trouble.
But don't you worry about me
because I'm gonna be in Europe.
You're going to take the key
from Billy on your way out.
I'll jet,
and you'll feed Taffeta.
She's a Burmese,
a very fussy little puss.
Oh, I don't like cats.
Arthur says because
I'm basically a cat, like,
I hate water
and other cats and all dogs.
Oh, well, she's a beast.
She's a terror.
And you are gonna
hate her good.
And you can use any
of these clunky old sex toys.
All right, you want
one of those muscle rags?
-[Billy] Dummy.
-Oh, no.
Arthur isn't interested
in physical fitness.
Well, we'll just give them
all to Billy.
He'll love us forever.
(Billy and Maureen laughing
hysterically)
(intense theme playing)
(soft saxophone music playing)
(indistinct chatter)
There you go.
Harder, harder.
(indistinct lively chatter)
(steamy romantic saxophone
music playing)
Come on.
Come dance with me.
(woman chuckles)
Thought you like bunnies.
Sure do.
(chuckles)
How about puppies?
Yeah, I do.
And how
about a little baby bear cub?
(gasps) Bears are
just horrible.
I hate bears.
All right, well,
there's no bears here.
Look, see?
There's no bears here.
All right?
Now go on.
Take it.
It's yours.
You can have it.
I like your pictures.
All right, well,
turn around
so I can blow you a little kiss.
Just one little kiss.
(women giggling)
Hey, blow me a kiss back.
Come on, blow me a kiss back.
Come on.
Hey, blow him a kiss,
you dumb tramp.
Bring your tight ass
back over here
and buy him a drink.
(whistles)
-Come on.
-Let's go!
(laughs)
-Let's go!
-[man] Come on, let's go!
(lively chattering)
(man whoops)
(door opens)
(man speaks indistinctly)
(door closes)
(door closes)
I know you.
-Clarinet Clyde, 2B.
-(snaps fingers)
2B.
2B, 2B, one, doo-doo, 2B one
Where's baby tonight?
Tell-tale nightingale.
Nowhere?
Hey, Beanie,
you're gonna play dead?
My, um, uh, c...
clarinet's...
It's broken now.
Hmm.
Shame.
Enticing eyes,
nimble fingers.
It was my father's.
(sighs)
Me, I'm fatherless.
Create a certain weakness,
some say.
I'm like that Wheeler
wasp, you know,
an etiological non-entity.
I don't want any...
William Wheeler, man,
the ethologist.
He watched the male wasp
forever and ever
and found nothing,
no behavior.
I mean it.
No way of being at all.
Well, that's not you.
(mimics wasp buzzing)
(ends buzzing)
(chuckles)
Men get away
with everything.
But I'm not interested
in getting away with anything.
Well, murder.
Quite, you
with your brave mask.
I broke the clarinet.
Maybe I'll break
the clarinet player.
Suze is at home.
Where she should be.
I wouldn't say that.
You didn't.
I'm just saying
I'm alone tonight.
(bathroom stall
lock clicks)
And you're with your band?
[man] Less of a band
than a pack of hungry hound dogs
ruled by a...
How does a guy become
a young gent?
You know,
you get born in the...
symptom of a sickness
in society.
Hey, 2B.
It's Arthur.
Hey, Arthur.
You a good sport?
Sport?
I meant, can you keep
something like a secret?
Which secret?
It's all a secret.
Ice it is what I'm saying.
(mimics wasp buzzing)
(water gurgling)
I don't want to get away
with anything either.
Well, marriage.
You don't know Suze.
What's to know?
You're circle now,
and that's Suze is trouble
looking for trouble.
And now my band's out there
tuning up,
and we're headed for a fight.
It's just a battle you're
fighting within yourselves.
(laughs)
You put me in a real mood.
So I'll, I'll see you again?
Will you?
2B, 2B one...
(water gurgling)
(ominous theme playing)
(ominous theme continues)
Please, baby, please.
(slow drumbeats)
Now I will patiently wait
for someone to pack me in a box
and ship me to the past.
They do things
differently there.
The past.
Well, the problem
of my personality can seem
wondrous again.
Meet me at the Heaven
on Earth building
near the Manhattan Bridge.
(laughter)
[Les]
Take the dirty taxicab
with the chewing gum
on the seat.
Let it remind you
that I'm not the only thing
stuck inside something hard
and unmoving.
[Les] I only ever wanted to know
what you were thinking
and if you were thinking of...
(woman giggles)
Shh!
...a plastic bag parked
on a thorny rose bush,
which is to say needs...
No, stop playing.
Stop playing. Stop playing.
But you said there was going
to be dancing, Dickie,
I want to go.
Let's just go.
The girl wants to leave.
She don't know
what she wants.
You said
there was gonna be a band.
Yeah, you're looking
at a band.
Bands play music.
I know that, you chimpanzee.
[Dickie] Okay, look,
I'm the sensitive sort.
I want to hear poetry
being read to me.
Well, maybe I don't want
such a sensitive sort.
Maybe I want a big old brute.
I think you are
the brute.
[Les] Hey, hey, you gonna cause
a real scene here, kids.
Yeah, well,
we're looking
for a real scene.
All right, come on, man,
just read the poem.
How about that...
I like that heaven
and earth business.
Why don't-- Why don't
you just read it, okay?
[Baker] You're not hearing,
my friend.
He's telling you
that you are agitators.
He's saying you have
no etiquette.
Look, I don't know
where you all come from,
but you don't look
so upper crust to me.
(chuckles)
Oh, we're poor like you.
Just educated.
I'm not poor, Dickie.
We're not dumb.
[Ida] And why would
a sensitive soul like you
be looking to pick a fight?
Because I'm misunderstood!
(chuckles)
[Dickie]
Just read the poem, okay?
But start from the beginning.
I want to hear
the stuff about...
about the gum stuck
on the yellow cab.
Dickie, I want
to dance. (whimpers)
I wasn't gonna hit you.
No, stop. Don't hide from me.
Look at me.
I'm sensitive.
I'm a gentleman.
[Les] Hey, how did you know
about tonight?
Who invited you?
We're friends of Arthur's.
[Les] Arthur,
who's this kid?
[Baker] Yeah,
Arthur, help us out here.
I said we're friends.
You don't got to push it.
[Baker] He's one of them
street killers, ain't he?
He's in that street gang.
(glass shattering)
(woman screams)
(glass shattering)
(several women screaming)
Yeah.
Let's go back.
Give the boys a while longer.
Well, you just might end up
with that sock in the eye
you've been asking for.
Maybe I want
to be feared.
Maybe I want
to be imposing.
Yeah.
Impressive.
Ida, tell me,
how does a woman get respected?
Easy.
Just be very boring.
Men respect anything
that bores them.
I've been
having these fantasies.
Fantasies where you smash open
a guy's head
with a bottle of Schlitz?
See, this is
where you're all backwards.
We are the fantasy.
We're smart.
We like to get off.
We don't got to mince
or whimper or hop around
in high-heeled shoes
to get our way.
We're choice.
I sure want
a more important job
than making Arthur happy.
(speaking indistinctly
and laughing in phone booth)
Your importance to Arthur
has far more to do
with how much you can hurt him
than how happy you can make him.
What is our marriage then?
A strange sort of friendship
that started out
with a few
sexual privileges?
Yeah.
That's marriage.
Well, I'm through
being sexy.
Ugh...
How long can anyone be sexy
for anyway?
Even men.
Although they'll always
have debonair.
[woman in booth]
Heh, I'm sorry...
Never have debonair.
If I was a man,
I'd buy a leather jacket.
Nice and tough.
Well, I am definitely a woman,
and I certainly enjoy it.
I especially
enjoy female friendships.
All that flattery
and flirting, gushes of lies,
and lovely words
that don't mean a thing.
Thrilling sport.
I mean what I say to you.
When?
[woman in booth]
Please, help!
(sobbing)
Give me a dime.
I need a fucking dime for love.
(coins jingling and clanging)
Street corner.
Filled with fantasy.
(sobbing continues;
dialing rotary phone)
You want to bet
she'll change his mind?
[woman in booth]
No. Please, no.
(sobbing) No.
I'm sorry.
I don't have plans
and schemes.
I don't have
hopes and dreams.
(mystical theme playing)
I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
And I don't have fun desires
I don't have happy endings
And I don't have anything
Since I don't have you
I don't have happiness
And I guess
I never will ever again
When you walked out on me
In walked old misery
And he's been here
since then
And I don't have love
to share
And I don't have
one who cares
And I don't have anything
Since I don't have
You, you, you
You, you, you, you
You, you, you
I'll be right over.
I never told him
I wanted to be alone.
I only told him
I wanted to be left alone.
Isn't that different?
(distant siren wailing)
(ominous theme playing)
(metal clanging)
(dog barking in distance)
That's probably
just kids.
Bunch of boys.
What were you like
as a boy?
Um, same as now.
Does anyone
really ever change?
Of course.
I'm always changing.
I'd like to be
someone else entirely.
[Arthur] It's a frightening
thing to hear from one's wife.
(metallic clanging continues)
You'd rather me
be anyone else
in the whole entire world,
never, ever?
Well, um, that's,
that's not the same thing.
We're talking about
you being you
while also evolving,
not about substituting you
with another person.
We're talking
about Suze as she is,
not about actual magic.
Arthur,
play the game, won't you?
No, I don't
feel like being
put under extreme pressure
tonight.
You're angry with me.
I told you I wasn't.
Only you don't believe me.
You love me then?
I'm...
I'm sensitive
to atmosphere.
No.
You know I love you.
That's implied.
But we can't do something
completely out of character
and expect me
to understand.
(dogs howling;
object crashes)
(glass shatters)
(dog yelping)
So you good on me then?
I love you for now, Suze.
But I'm getting real nervous
about the you that's coming.
But you'll change, too.
-Into what?
-I don't know.
We'll change into each other.
Isn't that what happens?
(glass shatters)
(door creaks)
Oh, no.
Suze!
I'm walking downstairs.
I don't care at all!
You care that
I'm asking you not to?
All show and no go!
They would have killed us
already if they wanted.
We know that.
Thinking we're thicker
than a Five Dollar Molly,
but we're not.
You're looking for a fist
in the face, Suze.
(Stanley Kowalski voice)
I'm the king around here,
and don't you forget it.
Suze?
I'm the king around here,
and don't you forget it!
(tense theme playing)
(whispering) I'm the king around
here, and don't you forget it.
(gentle theme playing)
They've been...
They gave us
a real working over.
Your pad just seemed like
a hiding kind of pad.
Can we hide in here
with you for a while?
(door creaks open)
They weren't even there.
Must have...
Time to split, Teddy.
(light snarl)
(keys jingling)
It's not such a palace.
My keys...
My keys!
(intense theme playing)
Arthur!
(thunder rumbling)
(people vocalizing)
(sizzling)
(sizzling)
(slow jazz music playing)
I feel I should be
invited to sit down.
(exhales,
mimics gunshot)
Billy.
Ugh,
I am surely on the make,
and there is absolutely
nothing doing.
Seemed like maybe I was here
on the wrong night,
and then I run into you two.
And, um,
well, maybe that's
not for nothing.
You on a sweetheart date?
Arthur brought me.
Oh...
Saw the address
in the back of a matchbook,
thought we'd like it.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I love when
a man takes the lead.
(chuckles) Oh, well,
that's not Arthur.
[Billy] Well,
then Arthur's a bum.
[Suze] You know, it might
sound corny to you,
but Arthur refuses to be a man.
Well, Arthur, if you're
not a man, what are you?
I... I am a man.
I just don't feel
the need to act male.
It's hard to believe
I was even born male. Heh.
I've never been
enough of a genuine man
to suggest I am one.
So maybe I'm not one.
Boy, what a kick.
But you're not a woman.
You're not a woman, Arthur.
Of course he's not a woman.
Gak.
Here's a question
for you, Billy.
Hmm.
What is a man, anyway?
Ooh, ring a ding,
ding, ding.
Well, I suppose
we could start
with an inspection
of the groin.
No, I, I think
that's baloney.
It's not only expected
that I identify
with other men,
but it's also implied
I'm not allowed
to identify with women.
I can't share
any of their feelings
or interests because we're
supposed to be opposites.
Well, what about fucking?
I mean, doesn't fucking
make you feel like
more of a fucking man?
Sometimes it feels like
Suze is inside of me.
(Billy chuckles; Suze laughs)
Mm.
You know, I have
a terrific theory on this.
And some blue night,
I'm gonna tell you
all about it.
No, tell us now.
We want to hear
the theory right now!
No, you bossy little cow.
We'll buy you a drink.
Do I look like I want
to spend my night
teaching a dip
and his dyke how to be cool?
Good night, Billy.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No.
Let's have another gin rickey
and Arthur will dance
with you.
Planet Manhattan
to Saturn Suzy,
your husband's here
for someone else.
I knew that.
[Billy]
Well, if you know that, then...
what are you two doing
living the big lie?
We love each other.
(Billy laughs)
Oh, boy.
Oh, that is a tickle.
Sit down, sister!
I am not your sister,
mister.
And he doesn't act
like a woman.
He acts like a queer.
Same for you.
(Suze grunts)
(glasses shatter)
[Suze] We put
in our appearances!
We put in our parts
our whole lives.
We are art, Arthur.
I'd buy us
and I'd hang us on a wall.
Man and wife, 1956,
Who would...
(object clatters)
(whispers)
Who would buy that?
(Joanne sobbing)
Listen, Joanne, you said
you'd be our eye roll.
All right, the only reason
the Gents let you come along
is 'cause
this is your pop's car,
so you got to can it.
You got to take
all your tears,
and you got to throw 'em
in the ash can.
You hear me?
You're degenerates!
You're apes!
[Dickie] Hey! If they're apes,
then I'm an ape.
Why did you even like me
in the first place?
You know, you know
I was a tense young man.
You know I was tough
to get to the center of.
But that's what
a girl does, Dickie.
She makes a pretty poodle
out of a salty dog.
I mean, you're around now,
but you're gonna change.
Either you're both deluded
or everyone in
the human race is deluded.
You can't make
a Mickey Mouse eat.
If you did, you'd drop him.
Sure thing.
Dickie, stand up for me.
Tell him.
[man 1]
This is just like Bev.
This is exactly, like,
Swanky Bev in a real mansion.
Yeah. Yeah,
Bev kept saying
there's no such thing
as a real man.
Like, guys all got together
and made the whole thing
of being guys up--
like, I was a goof
wearing some man mask
trying to outdo everyone.
Like, we was all trying
to outdo each other.
Not just the Young Gents,
but also all the men,
all of them, everywhere.
[man 1] She wanted a father.
-Boy, did she ever.
-[man 2 laughs]
Well, what's feeling
real, anyway?
No, Teddy, you're a true blue.
You're a sappy honeybee.
You got a girl?
Dickie, shut her up.
How about this?
You boys love a competition,
right?
You want to win a prize,
isn't that so, and prove
to each other who's best?
How about we have
a game, a do or die,
and whoever wins
get something even better
from my pops
than his car parts?
How about...his wristwatch?
How about his daughter?
The watch is fine.
What's the game already?
Simple.
You have to open yourself up.
You have to say
something honest.
You have to be vulnerable
and tender with your feelings.
Whoever does it best wins.
You got smog in your noggin'.
How are you gonna
judge a thing like that?
We're not your damn girlfriends.
I'll do it.
I want to do it.
Don't.
[Joanne]
Dickie will go first.
Dickie, say that thing
that you were saying
the other night...
about how all of you
are fighting against
the punishing world
and about how none of you
ever grew up really, instead,
you just merged together
like a pack of animals because,
because you knew there was
something about other men
you had to protect
yourselves from?
[Dickie] I wasn't really
saying that, Joanne.
I'm going first.
There's a scale
I know you're all rating me on
and now you got me
rating myself on it, too.
A scale for belonging.
I'm...
living based on where I stand
on this fake fucking scale
because I'm obsessed
with a lot of you.
I'm terrified of each of you.
I'm in agony that I don't
size up to any of you
because you're all
the standard of the kind of man
I got to appear to be.
Oh...
No!
(wolves howling)
[Teddy]
You two are already done.
Now you want to drop dead twice?
Sweet Dickie.
Sweet Dickie and lovely Joanne.
-Get us our keys back.
-Now, can't you see
you're playing
with the lowliest of the lot?
They're gonna take
everything you have
and make it their own.
Me? I don't want
what I don't got.
But you two aren't
dealing with me.
How about a deal though?
We don't have
anything worth anything,
but I know someone who does,
same building too.
Sure you like right off
the sales floor at Gimbel's.
Plus, they're in Europe.
Maybe even forever.
How about their keys
for ours?
Swaps.
She's lying, Teddy.
The only thing we've
got in the whole world
is the person sitting
across from us.
And all we know
in the whole world is
whatever that person says.
I'll see about your swap.
Find you later.
Don't you find me.
[Suze] Hmm.
Okay...
"Find you later.
Don't you find me."
Terrific.
Maureen's not upstairs.
I know where
Maureen's not better than you.
I like your get-up, stud.
Well, look, you're
not getting my red roses.
Move.
Just tell me
your blue night's theory.
Just tell me that
blue night's theory of yours.
That's all.
That's it.
We are living
on a dying planet
filled with
impossible obstacles.
[Maureen] Billy baby,
get up here.
(indistinct chatter)
(glassware clinking)
(up-tempo jazz music playing)
(people vocalizing)
(music continues)
Baby, please
Please
Baby, please
Please
Please
[Arthur] No, don't come.
Don't come.
Please don't come.
Please don't come to the city.
[Arthur's dad on phone]
Telling your mother not
to do what she wants to do
is the best possible way
to ensure that she will do it.
But that comes
as a real surprise.
[Arthur] Suze and I
are in the middle
of something here,
and if I knew what it was,
I'd tell you, but I don't.
You are just moping around,
sitting there like a pole.
You remember what
a happy boy you were?
No.
Son, it is our troubled minds
that make us so good at playing
the root
on our licorice sticks.
We're just the same that way.
(door closes)
Arthur is an outsider.
What's the matter with him?
Is he...
too wrapped up in himself?
Should we just
count him out
for good from now on?
Is it because
he looks different?
Is it some particular
way he acts?
If he can just make up his mind
not to be an always outsider,
then the gang
will easily accept
and invite him in.
Sure.
That sounds swell.
I want to be a happy boy.
I don't have to certify
my sex to either sex.
I want to feel comfortable
in the company of men
without having to prove
that I'm a caveman and I've...
(whimpers)
I've done that job, haven't I?
I got married, didn't I?
I'm a...
I'm a tenderhearted husband,
aren't I?
I, I love my wife, don't I?
I'm gonna,
I'm gonna die in her arms.
Won't I?
Won't I?
Won't I, Dad?
Dad?
Will I?
[Arthur's dad]
No, Arthur, I tell you,
it's not so tragic
as all of that.
But of course, we're
all walking tragedies,
all us guys.
"What a piece
of work is man," huh?
Hamlet.
All right,
you know the rest of it.
I'm gonna go follow my wife.
I wouldn't suggest it.
And I won't tell
your mother anything.
'Night, son.
(dial tone droning)
Man delights not me.
No.
Nor woman neither.
(police siren blaring
in distance)
(dramatic theme playing)
(camera flash popping)
(howls)
I got a stub.
Ticket for a show maybe?
Screenings nightly
of Bijou 52
are from 9:00 p.m.
to 4:00 a.m.
Tonight's films
are Boy Convict
and Wrestle the Devil.
The next
showing's in six minutes.
That's $1 plus $0.15.
Hey, can you
just let me peek a head in?
I want to see if there's
someone in there that I know.
Hmm...
You look just like
my husband Arthur.
Hmm.
Poor Arthur.
(snickers)
Give me two dollars
to peek your head in.
Before,
it was $1.15 before.
Oh, you're in there
to bite.
Dollar fifteen for boys
and two dollars for girls.
(slides bill)
(woman laughing)
Hey, do you mind telling me
if you know a guy named Teddy?
Usually wears a leather jacket
with the words "Young Gents"
on the back.
Is that your husband?
Yeah, he is.
Does he know you're a boochie?
Heh. I'm not though.
Heh. Yeah.
So what'd your husband do
to have you
chasing him down here?
Unless down here
is the reason why
you're chasing him.
This constant desire
to couple.
It's so strong.
It's like
constant companionship.
And then you forget yourself,
the self, you know?
Couple up to forget
about the condition
of being human
and all the pains,
plus how damn difficult
it is to survive.
Hmm...
My husband,
uh, Teddy,
he's been so gentle with me,
even when I wanted
to be rough with him.
(exhales)
How am I ever
gonna give it to him
the way he wants to get it?
I'm gonna ask him.
Hey, are you
writing a book here?
Take a quick peep
around, Warden.
None of these Joe Does
want to talk to you.
They don't even like gals.
They're not here to flirt.
(projector whirring)
Hey, do you know
a guy named Teddy?
The Young Gents.
You heard of that?
I know
those degenerates.
You do?
Do you know Teddy?
Do you know
if he's coming here tonight?
I don't know Teddy
from Freddy from Serengeti.
But, boy, did I hand it
to one of 'em
just last month.
Sure messed 'em up bad.
Still makes me a little,
you know, sick
to think about it.
You should really beat it.
No fooling, miss.
I'm just gonna wait here
for Teddy, thank you.
What's your bag, man?
You're not hearing me.
You're sitting in a room
full of criminal queers.
I'm gonna blow
my whistle in five seconds.
You're gonna want
to cut out in three.
Do I look like a bear?
Or do I look like a pig?
(sighs)
(whistle blowing)
(people screaming)
Run! Run!
(people clamoring)
Run! Run!
(air raid sirens wailing)
(police sirens blaring)
(police sirens fading)
Caught you.
I... um, I caught
you following me.
Following her.
That bunny lives to hop.
(chuckles)
Yeah.
She thinks
she's the big dick
solving some kind of
great whatsit.
Yeah, white hot thrills.
Well, I don't got her keys,
though I do have her man.
Um...
what y'all did to that girl
was deranged.
What's deranged?
It's, it's like whacko.
Like unzipped.
Say, want to lose control?
I'm, I'm, um...
I'm, I'm not in control.
You know,
there's playing it cool
and then there's just...
being cool.
Yeah. Um, I, I play
the clarinet.
Play me.
Play with me.
See how I wail.
Who made you?
Angel or devil?
You got to draw a line.
So you know
where the line is...
when you cross it.
You ever crossed it, bean?
Maybe for one
of those boys in your band?
No. Um...
I never gave them
a second thought.
(whispers) You ever given
them a first thought?
Teddy,
angel,
you don't have
to be a killer.
At least I'm not
an artist, stiff.
I am stiff.
You could be my favorite.
Favorite favorite?
(classical Latin dance
theme playing)
(music continues)
(woman laughing)
Oh, it'll pass.
Said the crying man
to his subway train.
(woman gasps)
(blows striking; fighting)
Geez, Teddy.
(woman screaming)
(door opens)
Suze...
you're my wife.
And you're a wondrous thing.
We're not squares,
we're someone else.
But I'm on the hook for you,
and you're on the hook from me.
And we can love,
like, crazy, like wow!
We just have to figure it out.
We're gonna figure
this all out together,
and then it's gonna be unreal.
Suze?
Hey, Suze?
[Suze] I'm home, duck.
Come to bed, will you?
Did you lock the door?
[Suze] What's the fucking point
in locking the fucking door?
Please, baby, please
[Suze] Arthur!
So, Arthur, how's that
clarinet? Still broken?
-[Arthur] Still broken.
-Still broken.
Tell your old man
you broke his piece,
get in loads of trouble.
[Arthur] We're grownups.
[Suze] There's no such thing
as trouble.
(scoffs)
Then stop punishing us.
I'll do whatever I want
'cause I'm a wild one.
Yeah, wild and free.
Heart and ribs
like bird and cage.
When it flutters,
set it free.
No one's trying to lick
you into shape, Susan dear.
[Ida] I think we're all
just very lucky that
the sharpest knife on
the table's for spreading jam.
Yeah, I think Ida's saying
we don't need all the...
the, the friction.
[Suze] Let her say
what she's saying.
I'm saying, screw.
(banging on the door)
Suze, you deviant,
answer that.
(banging continues)
[Ida] Arthur, you sap,
answer your door.
(suspenseful theme playing)
Snobs, sit down.
Don't you go showing off,
for you're the big shot.
Just give us the number
of that hotsie apartment
with all the fancy shit in it.
I don't think you ought to.
Ought to what?
Bust your bitch wife
in the nose?
Ah, it's 10F.
Get off it already.
You two,
with me upstairs.
Watch 'em.
(suspenseful theme continues)
(Dickie vocalizing)
I saw Liz Taylor
at the Bijou 52.
-She was wearing a fur coat.
-(opens lighter)
I saw Monty Clift.
They were on a date.
I watched two boys
wrestling underwater.
There was a bust
with the cops.
I don't know what kind of
mixed up you are,
but whatever itch
you got to scratch,
do it on some other guy's ding
some other the night.
Hey!
Zip it.
Missus,
take your heinie over here.
Hi, Dickie.
Hiya, Suze.
Hiya, poets.
Psst.
They're gonna be
up there a while,
lots of stuff,
lots of big, big old,
heavy high-ticket items.
We're in no...
rush.
Let me go to the restroom.
No.
(dry chuckle)
You'd have done better
if you headed
to a national park
and marrying a grizzly.
There's no way she has
a muffin in her pants.
(object slices flesh)
(groaning)
(gasps for air)
Scram!
(woman screaming)
Aw, shh, Dickie.
Shh.
You're all right.
You're a healthy,
well-balanced, young gentleman.
You're okay.
He killed that darling
Joanne, didn't he?
You've been asking for it.
We'll handle him later.
Ice it.
Keep it like a secret.
Okay, bean?
Hear me?
(woman screaming in distance)
Arthur,
he just wanted us to be
scared of his manhood
so he wouldn't
be scared of ours.
(distant siren wailing)
(glass shattering)
(Maureen sobbing)
[Maureen] Oh, hold me, Dad.
Daddy, Daddy.
Daddy.
Dad... Daddy.
Oh, Daddy.
I'm nobody's wife.
(orchestra sounding instruments)
(audience applauding)
(dramatic theme playing)
(orchestra playing
sauntering music)
(grand uplifting theme playing)
(sweeping romantic theme
playing)
Please, baby, please
I'll do anything you need
Baby, please
In the bleeding
of the light
Baby, please
Tonight, baby
I'm alone
Please, baby, please
Should I get down
on my knees?
Baby, please
If you hurt me,
I won't care
Not at all
I swear
I swear, baby, please
(song continues; instrumental)