Popeye (1980) Movie Script

Hey, what's this,
one of Bluto's tricks?
I'm in the wrong movie.
Sweet Sweethaven
God must love us
We the people
Love Sweethaven
Hooray, hooray, Sweethaven
Flags are wavin'
We're people from the sea
Safe from democracy
Sweeter than a melon tree
Put here for you and me
Sweethaven
Sweet Sweethaven
God must love us
We the people
Of Sweethaven
God must have landed here
Why else
would he strand us here?
Where the air
is nice and clear
Sweethaven
even sounds so near
To Heaven
God will always bless
Sweethaven
God will always
bless Sweethaven
God will always bless
Sweethaven.
You just dock?
- I have.
- Uh-huh.
There'll be 25 cents
docking tax.
What for?
Where's your seacraft?
It ain't no seacraft.
It's me dinghy,
and it's under the wharf.
Aha. Ah, huh.
This your goods?
- They is.
- Yeah?
You're new in town, right?
You call this a town?
Yeah.
Well, first of all,
there's 17 cents
new-in-town tax.
Then there's 45 cents
rowboat-under-the-wharf tax,
and one dollar
leaving-your-junk-
lying-around-the-wharf tax.
So, all together,
you owe the Commodore
$1.87.
Ah, who's this Commodore?
That the nature of a question?
There's a nickel question tax.
Oh, forget it.
I see what you're up to here.
Here we go.
Exact change, please.
I'm an exact-change taxman.
Oh. Mmm. Here's a dollar.
Here's a red cent.
Here's a franc.
A peso.
Here's a guilder.
Oh, sorry I'm taking
your time.
There's a dime; there we go.
There's one quarter.
Curiosity tax.
Hey, I paid me tax.
Oh, tax this, tax that.
Ooh, my nightmare don't...
Mmm, I gets disgustipated.
"Have you paid your tax?"
I got it, I got it.
No, I-I got it.
I got it, I got it.
Don't worry, I got it.
Holy cow.
Looks like me old pipe.
Wonder what it's doing here?
What a coinkydink.
Hey! What is this?
This ain't the orchestra pit.
Oh, lookit there.
Nobody seems to care...
You've got so much
to bear, ma'am.
Can I...?
Blow me down!
That's it, that...!
Oh, it's the wind and air...
Just try to double dare
to... blow me down.
Awk! Wait for me!
Hello, there, mate.
Maybe, uh...
Ah, blow me down.
It's no bother, but...
Look over there...
stranger's coming.
You'd rather not, huh?
Well, that's easy to see.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Wherever I go...
Ooh, nice-looking knees,
it does it for me.
Bad news!
Bad, bad, bad news.
Hmm, I don't believe that.
What a lovely day...
Well, it's still
a perfect day, but...
Oh, maybe ma'am,
you would like to...
Blow me down again, there.
It's a lovely place
Think I'd like to stay, but...
Stranger in town.
Blow me down.
Somebody roll into town?
Trouble, trouble,
trouble, trouble...
Blow me down...
local glum club.
It's friendly here...
A little scary, too.
I think I'll spend a year,
Or two, maybe thr...
Whoa, tut-tut-tut.
I yam what I yam,
wherever I go
I came from the sea...
Should've got me number,
but no one's looking it up,
ain't it?
Oh...
Good day... Good day.
I hate you to pieces!
Kind of a greasy good day,
but that's all right.
Bunch of carrotsk?
No, no.
You ain't got no carrotsk?
What are those, prunes?
Phooey on carrots!
Take broccoli.
I am in the mood for carrotsk.
I need me vitamins.
Phooey on carrots!
Take spinach!
If I wants spinach,
I'll axk you for spinach.
So, why you didn't say so?
For you, each a dollar.
How much is the broccoli?
Nickel, maybe dime.
And the spinach?
Dime, maybe quarter.
Then how come
carrotsk is a dollar?
Dollar fifty.
You buy what I don't feel
like selling,
it'll cost you $2.
All right, here you go.
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Hey, deadbeat, this is a nickel.
I pays what I feels like paying.
You're not up to no good,
are you?
'Cause if you are, there's
a 50-cent up-to-no-good tax.
Come here! Come back!
Seems like everywhere
Lots of people here
Try to blow me down...
Unlike the clothes I wear
I haven't...
Careful, there.
What blew him into town?
Oh, the short arm of the law,
huh?
Blow me down
Blow me down...
Ow!
Hey, come ba... hey, hey... ah!
Uh, are you the piano tuner
or the man
with the party favor?
You got a room for renk?
What for what?
Renk, renk... your sign says you
got a room for renk.
Oh, my stars and gardens!
My mind was
a million miles away.
Come in before you catch
your death of mud.
"Mud."
"Oyls." That explains it.
She's down a quart.
Scums... I'll find you.
Come on, come on!
Mmm. Don't make them
like they used to.
Oh, come on.
Oh!
I'm sorry, Mother,
but it's ugly.
I ask you, have you ever
seen anything so ugly?
I won't be engaged
in this hat.
I heard that.
Don't think
I didn't hear that.
Oh...
She owes me an apology.
Oh... ugly.
There's nothing left to say.
What do you think?
I think it's up to you, dear.
Well, what do you think? Ugly.
I think it's a conspiracy.
Oh...
Why would they manufacture
deliberate ugliness
unless they wanted me
to look ugly?
If we find that out,
we find out everything.
There's a stranger
in t... um... ooh...
Oh...
I can't get engaged.
You'll have to tell
Bluto; I can't.
We'll have to cancel the party
tomorrow night.
It's not my fault
that it's so ugly.
What are you doing
listening in on
a private conversation
between me and my mother?
I have a good mind to have
my father call a policeman.
Olive, will you show
Mister... Mister...?
Oh. Popeye, ma'am.
...Mr. Eye
the spare room?
Just Popeye, ma'am.
Go upstairs, Mr. Eye.
Olive will show you the room.
Thanks.
Some kind of asylum here.
Show me a room.
Show me some courtesy
might be nice.
I don't see why
I have to do anything
on the day
before my engagement party
when nothing's ready,
especially me.
And what kind of name is that,
anyway... Popeye?
Pretty strange.
What kind of name is Olive Oyl?
Sounds like
some kind of lubricants.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
Don't look in that room;
that's my room.
Meant no disrespect there.
Ugly, huh?
You owe me an apology.
What?
Wonder who shoved
a feather in his ear?
What'd you say?
Sure is nice weather
you have here.
Your name really Olives?
So what?
Olives Oyl?
You don't look Greek to me.
So, you're short.
Or are you just passing
yourself off as short?
Can I see me room now?
Ooh, as if I cared.
Let me give you a hand there.
Maybe it needs a little oil.
Oh!
Oh, oh...
Nice-looking room.
Never seen a room done
in early demolish-kin before,
but this'll do for me.
Careful how you treat
that bed.
Nothing goes on this bed.
Sorry, ma'am, it's just some...
Watch that lamp!
Let me give you some assistance.
Here, give me your hand.
There, that's it.
Yeah, here we go.
Oh, you're in first.
Is that... oh...
Boy, is it hot in here.
I still respect you.
Ooh!
Me bad eye, didn't see that.
Hmph!
Thanks for your help.
Uh, Miss Oyl, maybe...
Don't forget to put
the cat out, dear.
We don't have a cat.
Eau de toilette.
Yeah, eau de toilette.
Yeah.
How do you like that?
Gold is up 20 cents,
two dollars an ounce.
Out of my kitchen, Mr. Wimpy.
I knew it, I knew it, see...
You wait for the supper gong.
I could've made
a fortune on Billings
if Bluto would've let me go
directly to the Commodore.
He's so jealous of me,
that Bluto.
Well, who wouldn't be?
Me, I'm not jealous of Castor.
He's my son.
Man jealous of his own son.
You owe me an apology.
I didn't mean you.
Never lets me go
to the Commodore.
Commodore is a paragon
of sagacity.
If ever I could
put in a good word...
"Shut up" is the word.
"Pass" is another word
that Wimpy...
You don't pass.
He should be killed to death.
It says here the Commodore's
taxing salt again.
Don't look as good as I smell,
but too late now.
Got to go.
Oh, Mr. Eye,
have you met... uh, Pop?
Mr. Wimpy, my son Castor,
Mr. Geezil, my husband Cole.
We're all one big
happy family here.
- Hmph!
- Although not really.
I mean, well, Mr. Geezil
and Mr. Wimpy are, um...
Me, I'm family.
Well, you're my husband.
You owe me an apology.
Well, I can't find anything.
What are you
looking for, Olive?
- A glass.
- Oh, uh, here's a glass.
That's a short, fat, ugly glass.
I want a tall, pretty,
slender glass.
They're all broken.
I could've made a fortune
- in fish futures...
- Fish?
But I'd have to dip
into capital.
Fish futures smell.
What kind of glass
do you want, Olive?
A wine glass
or a brandy glass,
or a water glass?
Oh, not a thing...
I don't want a thing.
Real appetizing.
I want a fork.
Right beside your plate.
If it was a knife,
it would cut you.
- And a knife.
- Will you sit down?
Why don't I have a knife?
And a nice dress?
You owe me an apology.
Passing fish, please.
Fish, excellent idea, Miss Oyl.
I would suggest before
matrimony, fish.
Fish before matrimony.
Ooh, that does look good, there.
Wish I had a plate though.
...because four times
engaged is three times much.
Oh, he can't talk me out
of anything; I'm not a child.
I'll say you're not a child.
- Who says I'm not a child?
- You said you're not a child
and I agreed with you,
that's who.
Who asked you
to agree with me?
Well, no one can stop me
from agreeing with you
- if I want to.
- I can.
Quarreling at my table.
You both owe me an apology.
Sorry, Pop.
What?
Please pass the shrimp,
chicken and meatballs.
Well, I don't know.
Captain Bluto has
the patience of Job.
Or is it job?
Certainly got
a very good job, Job.
And he needs
a lot of patience.
Why, he runs this town
for the Commodore
while he's away.
And the Commodore's
always away.
As a matter of fact,
I've never seen him.
- Have you, Cole?
- What?
I'd never let a girl
break my engagement.
I'd break her nose before
she broke my engagement.
And you better not try on me
what you pulled on Bluto,
because I'm no pushover.
You owe your sister
an apology.
Will you stop fidgeting?
Finishing touch here.
Oh, this knife won't cut.
Here, take mine.
Not since I was child
have we had a sharp knife
in this house.
You owe me an apology.
You don't like our knives.
Bluto's rich, he can buy you
plenty of knives.
Ooh, I hate this table,
it's ugly.
I'm the only one
with nerve enough
to tell the truth about it.
Well, then, why don't you
let Bluto the pushover
buy you a new table?
- Am I right, Pop?
- Right.
I'm right, right?
- You're right.
- Right.
Nothing left?
Oh... Bluto, Bluto, Bluto.
Everyone takes advantage
of my poor Bluto.
Get a new... glass,
a new knife.
Now they want a table.
Well, hmph!
That's why I always
have to break off
our engagement...
to stop you all
from taking advantage
of the sweetest,
most humble man
on the face of this Earth!
Hmph.
Mmm.
You make me sick.
Never good to be too full,
I guess.
It's 9:00!
Curfew!
Lights... out!
You can have a kiss now.
Oh!
Poppa.
Pretty soon you and me
are going to be together again,
huh?
Yeah.
Besides, next Wednesday's
our annual-versity.
Yeah? Yeah.
Stay alive.
That's all I'm axskin you.
Good night, Poppa.
Aw...
There.
Sweep, sweep, sweep, sweep.
Sweep, sweep...
Hey-up!
Ah... whoop!
Eee-oh!
Everything
is food, food, food
Everything is food to go
Everything is food
for thought
Everything you knead
is dough
It is food
Everything is food
Everything is meat, meat, meat
Careful what you put
on your feet
Once it lived on an ani-mule
Now it walks along with you
It could be food
Everything is food
I would gladly pay you Tuesday
for a hamburger today
He would gladly pay you
Tuesday for a hamburger today
Everything is
chow, chow, chow
Everything is food to go now
Everything is
fast-food chains
From your lemon
to your sugarcane
It is food
Everything is food
Did you order a hamburger?
Yeah, I ordered a hamburger.
That's what I got,
a hamburger.
No, I beg to disagree.
Rough House,
a genuine hamburger
for the gentleman.
- I'm buying.
- Hey, thanks.
Who's paying?
I'm buying, he's paying.
A nickel hamburger tax?
I'd refuse to pay
if I were you.
A shocking abuse of power.
Rough House!
Food, food, food
Everything is food
One hamburger-chiseler's tax.
I would gladly
pay you Tuesday
- What kind mooch is this?
- For a hamburger today
He would gladly pay you
Tuesday for a hamburger today
Everything is upside-down
Everything is sunny-side up
Did you pay for this
In American?
They can't trick us
with no hot dog
Everything is food,
food, food
Everything is food.
Hey, hey, hey, Laverne!
Give us a smooch!
I really need someone
to kind of talk to,
'cause I thought everybody
in this town might be deef.
Huh, what's that?
Huh? Oh.
You know, jusk why
I'm here is...
I'm looking for me pap.
Yeah, oh...
I've searched
the seven seas for him,
and I haven't found him yet.
I was only two years old,
me own pap left me.
I was just a mere infink.
Me own pap...
Pipe down, will ya?
Me own pap ditches me.
I'm a very tolerant man,
except when it comes
to holding a grudge.
I never thought
I'd forgive me paps,
but about seven years ago,
I ships out on this boat,
The Gloomy Gus.
That's a boat. Yeah.
Just off the coast of Guam.
It breaks up on this typhoon,
and I'm stuck on
this raft for 45 days
without food or waters.
But after all
this time on this raft,
this visiktation comes to me.
Looks just like me mother,
rest her soul.
And it says,
"Your pap is still alive."
Excuse me.
So, when I was finally rescued,
I figured out that I got
to forgive me paps, you know?
Uh, you see,
I'm only afeared
that he might be dead,
and never realize what a
fine figure of an orphink
I turned out to be.
You sure got a nice-looking
face there,
One-Eye.
One-Eye?
I've seen better arms
on a baboon.
You're a slimy...
Yeah, you want to know
why you're so "lonescome,"
go take a look at that mirror.
You know, if there's
one thing I ain't got,
it's a sense ka humor.
Where did you get that,
uh, pronunskiation?
Yeah? Got an olive
caught in your throat?
Well, yeah, well,
I'll get back to you.
Pappy.
His Dada.
No. I want my Dada.
Hey, if I were your daddy,
I'd ship out, too.
Yeah. You're too dumb-looking
to leave on a doorstep.
Hey, runt...
I'll bet your pappy...
is as ugly as you are.
Another thing I got...
is a sensk of humiligration.
Now, uh, maybe you swabs can,
uh, pool your intelligence
and sees that I'm asking you
for an apologiky.
Hey, Butch,
why don't you give daddy's boy
an apology?
With pleasure, Spike.
The little one-eyed rat
wants an apology.
Well, I would like
to offer my most sincere
and hum-felt apologies.
You got it.
That's so low...
picking on innocents.
You apologize?
Do you apologize?
I-I apologize.
Rosie, get my hat.
I think
it's time we leave. I...
back to the dairy...
- Apologize.
- For what?
All these innocents.
This is a smorgasbord
of violence.
Well, that's everybody.
Everybody's apologized.
Yeah, everybody's really sorry.
Oh, everybody's really,
really sorry.
Now it's your turn
to be sorry.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry to have to do this,
but enough is enough.
Hey.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
Sorry.
Thanks.
Anybody else want
to apologygy?
All in a day's fun, ain't it?
I dare you.
Nobody home?
There you go.
Sorry about that.
No. Keep the change.
Remember, my dear,
tonight it's my turn
to be tall.
Oh.
Very nice party.
I can't help but feel sad,
though.
Chico?
This is a sad day for me.
Chico, hand these things out.
It's one of the saddest days
of my life.
Flowers.
I forgot the flowers.
Yup.
Oh, disillusionkand.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, me dress blues.
This is Castor's
favorite color.
Oh, you and Castor.
Oh, phooey.
Oh, hello there, Cousin.
We're just waiting
for Captain Bluto.
Oh, I can't tell you
how happy this makes me
to attend Miss Oyl's parties.
Uh, nice-looking furs there.
Hmm?
Oh.
Boy, uh, I don't know
when I've had this much fun
and still been conskious.
Well... I better be on me way.
Oh, reservoir.
Not really as nice as ours.
But he's so big.
I really...
Typical smutty sailor comment.
Sailor...
Oh, I don't want
to go to no party.
Well, that's good,
'cause you ain't invited.
Who says I ain't invited?
I says.
Who are you?
You know who I am.
I'm you.
Don't drain your sense
of dignity... is that it?
Nah.
Ugly.
Bluto's ugly all right.
Bluto's distinguished.
He's distinguished, all right.
Distinguishingly ugly.
Bluto's special.
Oh, he's special, all right.
Especially ugly.
He's tall
Good-looking
And he's large
He's large
Large
Tall
Large...
Good morning, Captain Bluto.
I... I mean...
Good evening, Captain Bluto.
I mean...
And he's mine
Not a mandolin
Oh, no
He's an accordion
I have to squeeze him
each night to keep him warm
Warm
Oh, boy
He's virile
And he's strong
- Strong
- Strong
- Strong
He's strong
Strong...
Uh...
Sounds like Fluto.
Bluto.
Bluto.
At your services, sir.
There's a good picture
in the paper this week.
A lovely present for you
down at the pawn shop,
Captain Bluto.
I would have brought it,
but it was too late.
Anytime you want me to come by
and stain up the boat,
Captain Bluto.
Mother!
He's got money and respect
That's true
He's better than the rest
That's true
He may not be the best
But he's large
And he's mine...
She can have him.
Yeah.
She loves me.
Of course she does.
She don't love me.
Oh, no.
She'll marry me.
Large
Large
Large
Large
Mine
Mine
Mine
Mine...
She won't marry me.
Oh.
She will.
She won't.
It may seem funny,
but it's not
Oh, no
I'm thankful
For what I've got
Me, too
It may not be a lot
But he's large.
She will.
Yes, yes.
She...
Faulty flower...
C-Captain Bluto.
Mrs. Oyl, Olive's...
Olive's what?
Olive's...
...getting ready.
Good.
Now, where were we?
Uh, she won't
marry you, she...
She will!
Oh, my word!
Son-in-law.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ah! Ooh.
Olive!
Marvelous, marvelous.
No place to go.
Can't go to no party
without an invite.
Whoo!
- Ho, ho, ho, whoa.
- Whoo! Ooh.
- Miss Oyl.
- Oh...
You scared the wits out of me.
Yeah, I almost knocked 'em
out of you, too.
- Sorry I did that to you.
- What right do you have
to lurk here in the dark
in the middle of the night
and scare the wits
out of a person?
I wasn't.
I was just, uh, kind of, uh...
Oh, oh.
How's your party going,
Miss Oyl?
- Oh, that's a dumb question.
- Yeah.
Where do you think I'm headed
right this minute?
Um... well, uh,
mmm, that way, I think.
Out of town.
- I am not headed out of town.
- Oh.
Don't you see which
direction I'm facing?
- You're going, now you're...
- Oh, ooh, whoa.
- Now you're facing east.
- Oh.
Maybe a little southwest.
- Place your bets.
- Oh. Oh!
You need some help with
your bags there, Miss Oyl?
- Ooh, oh, no.
- I didn't touch ya.
I didn't mean to hurt ya.
Thank you.
- Oh, you do.
- Oh.
Oh.
No, that's the wrong way.
Oh.
No, that's the wrong way.
I want to go...
Oh...
Oh, oh...
Whoo! Oh. Oh, oh.
Oh!
Oh, oh...
Oh...
That way.
That'll be 50 cents
impersonating-a-traffic-cop tax.
What?
Oh.
I'm sorry, Miss Oyl.
Didn't recognize you
from the back.
It won't happen again.
How come Miss Oyl
don't have to pay no taxes?
That's ten cents question tax.
But... I'll let you off
this time
since you're with Miss Oyl.
Good night, Miss Oyl.
Well, how come being
with Miss Oyl
means I don't have
to pay no...
...taxes?
Well, I don't know
what you're talking about.
Here's a nice cup of tea
for you, Captain Bluto,
while you're waiting.
Where's Olive?
Olive?
You think everyone pays taxes
but me and my family,
don't you? Mm-hmm.
Well, you couldn't be
more wrong.
If I'm wrong, why
am I in the right?
You think it's because
I'm engaged to Bluto
and Bluto runs the town
for the Commodore
so we get special favors.
Well, it's a lie. Hmm.
Olive!
Bluto is kind and generous
and likes to do things
for his loved ones.
And you want me to
hurt his feelings.
Well, phooey on you.
Hmm. You don't even care
enough about me or my family
to be at my engagement party.
And what are you doing here
in Sweethaven anyway, hmm?
Well, I'm-I'm looking
for me pap.
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
Oh, well, if that's true,
then where is he?
Well, yeah, um, got me there.
I don't really know.
I... I got this sense
that he's here though,
you know?
Oh, well, all right,
I'll wait. Hmm.
Anyway, there are too
many guests as it is.
Half of them I hate.
One thing I remember
about me pap
was that he always used
to throw me up in the air.
But he'd never be there
when I come down, you know.
- Heh, heh, heh.
- Mmm.
Boy, he had a sense ka humor,
didn't he?
Yeah, that was me pap.
I remember that time
he gave me
an electric eel as a toy.
Eep!
Yeah, that was fun.
Or he'd rock me in my cradle
real, real, real hard
and I'd lose me formula.
And then he'd say, "One
day, you'll be a sailor."
That... that's what
I am today.
Yeah. Sometimes,
he'd bounce me on his knee.
Most of the time
he'd miss, though
'cause he couldn't see
too well with one eye.
Oh, me pap, yeah.
Well, I'm not waiting
any longer. Hmm.
Oh, sorry, Miss Oyl.
I was philoscofying.
Mm-hmm.
...between us, got kind of
derailed and...
Oh, yeah, long time waiting.
Wait a while...
What are you doing
with that basket?
Well, I-I'm carrying it.
It's your basket, ain't it?
It is not my basket.
Somebody has deliberately
painted that basket
to look like my basket.
My basket was clean
and beautiful
and this basket is ugly.
- Rattlesnake!
- Miss Oyl, we should at least
have dinner first,
or something.
Rattlesnake!
Rattlesnake!
Oh, rattlesnake!
Ooh! Oh, oh, oh!
Rattlesnakes?
Where is it, Miss Oyl?
Where is it?
Oh, oh, rattlesnake, oh!
Don't worry, Miss Oyl,
I've handled vermins before.
I'll rattle that snakes
so it's a pair of shoes.
Rattlesnake!
Rattlesnake!
I'll rattle that...
- I'll rattle him upside-down.
- Rattlesnake!
I'll take his little mariachis.
Rattlesnake!
Rattlesnake!
Uh, no, I'll get to him.
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh!
Aw...
Oh...
Oh...
Blow me down.
Oh.
Here you go.
Oh.
Here's your snake.
There you go.
What have you got here?
"To the one-eyed sailor."
Oh, that must be me.
Wait a minute.
Hold on there.
Watch out, I don't
want to hurt you.
Hi.
I'll read this.
I'll bring it right back
to you.
There we go.
Oh, I ain't that ugly.
It's all right.
Oh, it's okay.
I am, I am, I am.
I'm all right.
Hey...
It's okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, we're
together in this.
- Mmm, mmm.
- Mm-hmm.
All right. "I must
trust someone..."
Mmm... bah-bah-bah.
You're a baby.
It's says here.
Right there, right.
"I must trust someone
with me baby
"until I frees meself
of certain
financhkal obligations."
Yeah. "Which will
take 25 years or so
"at which time I
shall reclaims him.
"In the meantime,
"love him as only
a mudder could.
Signed, a mudder."
Ho, ho, ho.
You want the note?
Okay, take it back.
How are ya?
I loves you more
than you'll ever know.
Olive...!
Olive...!
It's Olive's fault, oh, oh.
Oh, oh!
I-I... I...
I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean
You know what I mean
He's mean, he's mean
You know what I say
He's says he's mean
You know what I mean
He's mean, he's mean
Meanl
He's mean, he's mean
You know what I mean
He's mean, he's mean
I'm meaner than...
Aah...
That's it, that's it
I mean what I say
He do, he do
I'm so mean I had a dream
Of beatin' myself up
I broke my nose
I broke my hand
I wrestled myself
to the ground
And then I choked myself
to death
And broke the choke
and woke up
I'm mean
You know what I mean
He's mean, he's mean
If you know what I mean
You'll know what I mean
Dood, dood, dood, dood
- I'm mean
- He's mean, he's mean
- Meaner than...
- Aah...
I sure am mean
Yeah, mean
He's mean, he's mean
I'm meaner than that
Out of my wayl
You know what I mean
I'm so damn mean
I'm meanl
Look at this.
I came looking for me pap
and now I'm a mudder.
He's so cute.
Little baby.
Little baby.
Olive, I, uh, certainly
engaged your enjoyment party.
And I... I mean, I...
Theres you go.
Got another two to go there.
Mmm, I'm not going
to drop him.
Little baby.
Oh, when you throw a party,
you throw a party, don't you?
For the last time,
where's Olive?!
Oh...
Oh, yeah...
Uh-oh.
Uh-ooh.
Oh...
- Oh.
- What...?
Uh-ooh.
Oh...
Oh, oh.
The women and infinks first.
- Here you go.
- Oh...
I'll get back to you,
I will.
Oh, oh...
Oh...
Little-little something
- to remember me by.
- Oh!
Good luck.
- Oh...
- Huh.
There's a logical
explanaskin for thisk.
Oh... Oh...
Uh, I'd make
the same mistake meself.
Yeah, and I knows
what you thinkins.
Oh!
Oh, look at the birdies.
All right, I'll fight
all eight of ya.
Oh...
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh!
Oh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Whoa...
Okay, shorty,
the Oyls are going
to be double taxed.
Hey, hey, what the...?
Hey, hey!
Triple taxed.
Quadruple taxed.
Oh, look at that, uh, oh, oh.
Going down.
Ooh, ow!
Surtaxed.
What a lovely shade of blue.
Exercise taxed.
Overtaxed.
And...
thumb taxed!
Heh! Don't thinks I blames ya,
'cause I don't. Nope.
"Whereas you are in arrears
on your bathtub tax
"and whereas there is
no bathtub in extant.
"And whereas
you are in arrears
"on your refrigerator tax
"and whereas there
is no refrigerator in extant.
"And whereas you are in arrears
on your Victrola tax
"and where as there is no
Victrola in extant.
"And whereas you are in arrears
on your household
"and impertinences
maintenance tax
"and whereas there
is no house...
"or household or impertinences
or maintenance,
"by the order invested in me
by Captain Bluto
"on behalf of his honor,
the Commodore...
Aah, phooey, the Commodore.
Next to Wimpy,
I hate him best.
"You owe..."
This is extremely grave news.
Please, pay attention.
"...the sum of twelve thousand,
twelve hundred,
twelve dollars
and twelve cents."
Cole, stop reading!
Plus one sunflower-
embarrassing-the-taxman tax.
Phooey!
And double phooey!
Avast there. Avast.
Watch it, you'll hurt her.
Oh, yeah?
A lot you know.
Her is a him.
See, it likes to smoke.
So... you're just a landlubber,
ain't ya?
Oh, yeah, well, I'm a woman.
Oh, yeah, well, I am a mudder.
Oh, yeah?
Come here.
- Papa.
- Oh, yeah?
He wants me,
he wants me there.
You must have an IQ about
half a million, don't ya?
Oh, yeah, coochie-coo.
None of that baby talk
around me son.
Me son's gonna be a man
and not a baby, I'm thinking.
Ain't that right?
Oh, come to Papa,
me little Swee'pea.
You're my little Swee'pea,
you're my little Swee'pea.
- Swee'pea?
- Mm-hmm.
- You're bats.
- Oh, yeah?
I found him in Sweethaven.
That is why he's me Swee'pea.
I am calling him Swee'pea,
and that is his name.
Ain't that the truth?
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
Well, Swee'pea is
about the worst name
I ever heard on a baby.
Well, what do you want me
to call him? Baby Oyl?
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
A bit of boxing tonight.
What could happen to me?
Well, I could get killed.
It'd be worth getting killed
to help Mom and Pop.
What if I won?
I'm fast, I'm foxy.
He could have a heart attack.
Sweet Sweethaven
God must love us...
Ooh, and I disapprove of you
taking me to a fight
and my parents to a fight
and my baby to a fight.
Ah, Sweethaven...
Fights is fun.
Oh, fights are not fun.
Know the words
for this song, Cole?
Of course I know the words.
It's our national anthem,
isn't it?
Pardon us...
Ah-ah-ah.
That'll be 62 cents...
going-to-an-illegal-
sporting-event tax.
If it's illegal,
how come it's going on?
Ladies and gentlemen!
Citizens of Sweethaven...
Popcorn!
Be careful...
Ooh, watch that step.
Wait a minute.
They're having a lover's quarrel
in front of us.
That unworthiest
of worthies...
the pejorator of...
Fight stuff.
Fight stuff!
Now, look at that.
Isn't that...?
Wait a minute.
Yeah... right there,
right there is Castor.
Castor!
Oh, my son! Castor!
Make a man outta yourself.
Mom, Pop, I'm gonna fight him.
Whoops.
Don't go!
Oh, it's my baby.
Get out...
Get my baby outta there!
Don't touch his feet!
He's gotta dance
with those feet.
Castor, we go home now.
Olive,
do something about this.
What are you, a nut?
What good are you, Olive?
You get in there and get your
brother out of this!
I can't stand
much more of this.
Where are my pills?
Don't do this!
Mr. Geezil,
get him outta there, Geezil!
Gentlemen, you know the rules:
There are no rules.
This is a fight to the finish.
First man who is dead, loses.
Good luck to both of you.
Did you see what he was doing?!
- You didn't see?!
- Good luck to you.
I hate you to pieces!
All right, come over here.
Now don't, don't kill him.
Just fluff him up a bit.
You'll be leading
with the left hand.
Castor! Castor,
get outta there!
Go for him, right away, son.
Come on, Castor.
Give him Oyl, Castor!
Give him Oyl!
Come on, hit him,
hit him, hit him...!
Hang him!
Come on, Castor.
Come on, knock him.
Oh!
...three, four, five, six...
Get up!
Your name's Castor,
not Custer.
Come on, sting that whale!
Don't make him mad, Castor.
He's not a person!
Hi. I'm, uh... Cas...
That's it!
Come on, that's it.
Kick him!
Didn't you see that?
Hey, ya bum!
You're a bum.
I'll teaches ya
how to fight fair.
He's not a person!
One, two, three...
Oh, hello. Very good.
Very good fight.
...five...
- Up, up, up!
Ya outta get taught
how to fight.
I got your numbers!
Ya beached whale.
- I'm gonna teach ya...
- No, no, no!
No!
Oh. Popeye!
Watch out now, Mr. Oxmeat!
You, you, you!
You're gonna be
kissing canvas real soon.
Oh! Oh!
Poor little fatherless baby.
Oh, you'll be murdered.
All right, gentlemen,
you both know the rules.
This is to be a fight
to the finish.
Touch gloves
and come out fighting.
What are you afraid of?
I got a magnet in
there or something?
Come on!
You scums.
I know who you...
That was dirty.
Little birdies... I think
you're gonna be seeing
- real soon.
- Be right back, Mom.
I know you will, sonny.
All right, here we go.
Now, what were we thinking
what was before half thing
on winning ahead
with your mind?
Give him a karate chop!
Very good.
Fist... that's fighting.
You can take him!
Don't you dare!
- Hey, your mudder's here?
- So what?
- You bet I'm his mother.
- Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
I'm a mudder meself.
That's his mudder;
I can't bust him...
You see?
You're letting his
mother's be distracting you.
Not be doing that.
That kid...
You don't bust him,
he kill you, right?
Yeah, I got it.
Now listen.
Dancing, dancing, dancing.
Dancing, dancing.
Dancing legs.
Be careful.
Come on, sailor, fight!
Oh, yeah. Watch it!
To the left. To the right.
Look out.
Easy! Easy!
Watch what you're doing.
Popeye!
Oh, be careful.
Be careful.
There.
I gotta ask you...
get your mudders...
outta the ring.
Oh, oh.
The bucket.
Watch it! Watch it!
She's got a bucket!
Oh, Mommy! I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Where do I send the flowers?
That's it. Come on!
Give him the old one-two!
That's one.
That's two...
and three for me.
Timber.
Oh, can't see nuttins.
Oh, there it is.
Hey, Cap'n Pea.
Look it there, Olives.
He's got my eye.
He does not have your eyes.
He's got my eyes.
He's got your mouth.
Dizzy dame.
One day, Swee'pea's,
he's gonna go to school
and bust bigger kids
in the mush.
Yeah, you like that,
don't yous? Yeah.
And we'll move
into a vine-covered cottage
on a shady lane.
And we'll garden together,
and we'll play house.
I've been sailin'
'bout the seven seas
Lookin' for somebodys
who would sail with me
Sail with me
Sail with me
And I've been waiting
for someone like you
A man who could love me
and will promise to
Stay with me
Stay with me
Stay with me
Sailing
Sailing
Sailing
Sail...
Nothin' feels better
than a rows on the sea
And I can't think of anyone
but you to stay with me
Stay with me
Sail with me
Stay with me
Sail with me
Stay with me
Stay...
With me
Sail...
With... me
Me.
- Oh, Popeye.
- Shh.
What is that glop you're eating?
It's a soup burger.
These are difficult times.
Burgers can't be choosers.
Phooey.
Work is what is making
the heart grow stronger. Come.
Open wide.
Bye, Mom.
Ow!
Worry, worry, worry.
Now... there!
Well, hope the taxes
don't come to too much.
Oh, the main thing is
that you're all right.
Yeah.
Well, were you worried
that I might have gotten killed
or something, maybe, yeah?
Oh, Popeye, don't be silly.
I knew.
Oh, you... you didn't
have no confidenkce.
Oh, I did, too.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
I did, too.
After I asked Swee'pea.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's rich.
Oh, you're gone now.
You're really a dizzy dame.
Oh, I asked Swee'pea,
and he told me.
Isn't that so?
What's this here?
See, I asked Swee'pea,
"Swee'pea,
will Popeye be killed?"
- Uh-uh.
- No?
So then I asked,
"Swee'pea, will Popeye
be seriously maimed?"
No?
That's two for two.
That could happen
to anybody, ya know.
So then I queried, "Swee'pea,
will Popeye actually survive?"
Yeah, I survived.
Yeah, yeah.
"What? You mean he'll win?"
Oh!
That's-that's a neat trick.
Oh-ho, me infant
is a psychic of profiks.
If I didn't see it
with me own eye,
I wouldn't believe it.
That kid's a regular forecaster.
Remind me to ask him
about gold futures.
More interested in talking to
him about immediate futures.
Uh, Popeye?
Yeah?
He's an adorable
little fellow.
And he's a psychic, too.
Ain't that the truth.
But he looks
a little peaked to me.
He needs some air.
Air? That's all
we have here is air.
With your permission, Popeye,
I'll... take him
for a little walk.
Well, Wimpy, why not?
I mean, you're like his uncle.
You're his Uncle Wimp.
Yeah, that's it.
Come along.
Hey, don't forget
his little hat here.
Don't forget his hat.
He's going out in uniform.
Oh, of course.
There you go.
Thank you.
Ain't that something?
He's taking him for a walk.
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute there.
You trying to pull a fask one?
He can't walks yet.
Oh, I'll carry him.
Oh, in that case,
it's all right then.
As long as you take him
for a drags or something.
Hey, I want to carry him
for a walk.
Oh, leave him be there, Olive.
It's Uncle Wimps
going with the Swee'pea.
Oh, yeah, Wimpy can take
him but I can't? Hmm.
Well, um...
wh-who says you can't?
You said I can't. Hmm.
Oh. Well, um...
that was before.
Before what?
Well, um...
before I... I knew
you was worried about me.
Oh!
Oh.
You mean, now I can carry him
just because
I was worried about you?
Yes. Yes, mm-hmm.
Phooey.
Phooey?
Mm.
Y-You said "phooey" to me?
I said "phooey"
and I mean "phooey."
Phooey.
She said "phooey" to me.
She said...
"phooey" to me.
We have Lickety Split,
number one.
Number three, Sandcrab.
How 'bout six?
Everything's going
to be all right.
Now, he's with
his Uncle Wimps,
and they've only been gone
for a couple of hours.
Yeah, couple of hours.
Ooh, wait a minute.
This town could have been
built in a couple of hours.
Whoo!
Oh, got to be trustworthy.
Wimps is trustworthy.
Wait a minute, I don't trust him
as far as I can throw him.
Throw him?
I can't even lift him.
I don't see them anywhere.
Well, maybe they went
to the Rough House.
No, Wimpy's barred
from the Rough House.
- Bad credit.
- Right.
Oh, my stars and horses!
Derby day?
That rat Wimpy.
What's this got to do
with me Swee'pea?
They've gone to the races.
A baby at the horse races.
Where is these races?
Come on. Let's go.
Come on! Come on!
Oh!
And the winner is...
Cat's Pajamas.
Yippee!
We've done it.
Oh, that Wimps.
Abducticating me Swee'pea there.
Oh, a race track
ain't no nurskery.
Oh, patience, patience.
Got to remain calm.
That's it.
Straight ahead.
Lonesome, chubby?
We've got it. Look.
The Wax Doors and Gardeners?
No. Number two, Ed.
Ed?
That's a horse.
All right...
number six, Holy Moly.
You like Holy Moly?
Holy Moly?
Holy Moly.
That's it, Holy Moly.
We can't lose.
Everything on Holy Moly.
Come on, Holy Moly.
Come on, Holy Moly.
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
Come on... oh,
we're going to win.
Ooh, look. Hooray!
We've done it!
Oh, what is this?
A house of ill repukes?
Ooh, who'd bring me infant
to this den of immoraliky?
Don't touch nothin'. You might
get a venerable disease.
Oh. Ooh. Ooh!
Is that a bed pole you got
in your pocket, handsome?
Hello. Better grab me loins up
for this one.
Read your paper, Cole.
Will you...?
You know, if Mom caught me
in here she'd kill me.
There's Mom.
Where is that Wimpy?
Oh!
Pardon me.
Oh! Oh!
Oh, Castor, what
are you doing here?
I've been behind you
all the time.
- $110, $120.
- There he is.
Wimpy, I'm disgustapated.
May I borrow the infant
for just a moment here?
Oh, well, yes,
for just a moment.
I don't want
your little sweet peepers
to see what's about to happen.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
I ought to bust you
right in the mush.
Yeah, what is this?
It's 120 simoleons.
You won 120 simoleons?
You know how many hamburgers
that is?
Put your eye
where your ear is.
Disgraceful.
How many races?
Two races.
Hmm, let me see
that racing form.
Oh, maybe we can...
Oh, Swee'pea?
We, oh... oh, now...
Wait, no.
No child of mine
is growing up to be
a raceking kout.
Come on, me little...
Now, wait a minute.
Ooh... oh.
What are you doing there?
No childs of mine
will be exploiticated
for ill-gotten gains.
Yeah, that's true.
You're going to be
a president one day.
It is not ill-gotten,
it's good-gotten gains.
These gains with cloth us
and feed us and save us.
Wrong is wrong even
when it helps you.
The horses are at the gate.
Oh, family is more important
than dumb morality, hmm.
Oh, look, he's got
something in his eye.
Let me see.
Oh, I know how that feels.
There you go.
Steven's Wish?
Keep It Going?
Lady Lucy?
Sucking Lemons?
Sucking Lemons!
Oh, what am I?
Some kind of barnacle
on the dinghy of life?
Oh, make it snappy.
Oh, I ain't no doctors,
but I knows
that I'm losing me patience.
on Sucking Lemons, please.
What am I?
Some kind of judge or lawyers?
Maybe not, but I knows
what law suitks me.
Careful there,
don't ruffle me feathers.
What am I?
I ain't no physcikisk,
but I knows what matters.
What am I?
I'm Popeye, the sailor.
And I yam what I yam what
I yam and I yam what I yam
And that's all that I yam
'Cause I yam what I yam
You've got it?
I think so, yes.
And I got a lot of muskle,
and I only gots one eye
And I never hurts nobodys,
and I'll never tell a lie
Top to me bottoms
from the bottoms to me top
That's the way it is
till the day that I drop
What am I?
I yam what I yam
I yam what I yam
what I yam what I yam...
Here he comes.
Come on, Sucking Lemon.
What I yam, what I yam
Oh, come on, get up there. Ooh!
Wondered about meself.
To be or not to be...
who's axskin'?
I can open up an ockean,
I can take a lot of sail
I can lose a lot of waters,
and I'll never have to bail
On the coast of Madagascar,
grab a whale by the tail
Boy, let's go get it.
What am I?
What am I?
I yam what I yam!
I'm Popeye, the sailor
I'm Popeye, the sailor
I'm Popeye, the sailor
I yam what I yam,
and that's all that I yam
I yam what I yam
what I yam what I yam
I'm Popeye, the sailor man.
Ha-ha!
Whoo, hoo-hoo!
Arms, don't fail me now.
I am what I am
and that's all that I am
I'm Popeye, the sailor man.
Whoo, hoo-hoo!
Whoo, hoo-hoo!
Oh, I hate to do this,
Swee'pea,
but it's neskessary.
Sometimes you got to do things
you don't want to do
when you got to do 'em, but...
Oh, it's cruel, Mr. Eye...
It may not make sense now
but maybe later.
...uh, Mr. Pop...
um, Mr. Popeye.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Oyl,
but it's parenk's duty
to protect me adopticated son
from child abusk.
Oh, oh, but think of Olive.
You can't take the poor baby
away from poor Olive.
Me moraliky ain't bilge,
Mrs. Oyl.
Me mind is set,
and when me mind is set,
I don't think from nothin'.
You sure about that?
Yeah, I think so, yes.
Maybe we owe him an apology.
We'll find another place
to plant ourselves. Yeah.
Me, I'll check you, okay?
Yeah, you all right there?
This ain't bad, is it?
It ain't the Ritz,
but at least you get
a little womb service here, huh?
It ain't no palatkial
mansion either,
but we got something.
Best I ever saw.
It's got your blankets here.
Yeah, there we goes.
Got your blankets.
Here we go.
You moved out of the Oyl's?
None of your business.
$4.25, moving out tax.
Nuts to you,
and nuts to your taxes.
You moved in here?
What's it look like?
$5.25, moving-in tax.
Oh, don't forget double nuts.
And where's this baby
come from?
Oh, this pelican's
brought him.
unlicensed baby tax.
Oh, get out of here!
Don't take me personal.
Hey, oh-oh, oh, no!
Hoop... hoop... hoopla!
Did ya see that,
what he did?
A whole lot of peoples.
Oh, thank you.
Go tax the fishes!
Swee'pea? Swee'pea? Swee'pea?
Where's Swee'pea?
Swee'pea!
Where's Swee'pea?!
Swee'pea!
Swee'pea!
It's me own fault
Swee'pea's been kidnapped.
Olives was right.
Even an orphan needs
a mudder and a fadder.
Oh...
If I was going to
be Swee'pea's mudder,
I should have at least
let her be his fadder.
Ovisk ovisk.
Oh...
I ain't man enough
to be a mudder.
And all at once I knew,
I knew at once
I knew he needed me
Until the day I die, I won't
know why I knew he needed me
It could be fantasy
Oh-oh
Or maybe it's because
He needs me, he needs me,
he needs me, he needs me
He needs me, he needs me
Da-da, da, da, da, da,
da-da, da-da, da
It's like a dime a dance,
I'll take a chance
I will because he needs me
No one ever asked before,
before
Because
they never needed me...
But I do.
But he does!
Maybe it's because
he's so alone
Maybe it's because
he's never had a home
He needs me, he needs me,
he needs me, he needs me
He needs me, he needs me
For once, for once in life
I finally felt
that someone needed me
And if it turns out real
Then love can turn the wheel
Because he needs me,
he needs me
He needs me, he needs me,
he needs me, he needs me
Da-da, da, da, da, da,
da-da, da-da, dum
Da-da, da, da, da, da,
da-da, da-da, da.
Bye-bye.
Dear...
Swee'peas.
Everybody's gotta have
somebodys
Even if it's only mes
Stops yer cryin', Swee'peas
And try to go to sleeps
I don't know
hows you got here
I don't knows if you cares
You could've come
from Heavens
Or a typhoon anywhere
Well, me, I came from Heaven
of Cuddly Na-La Lagoon
And I was told me mammy
gave me up in a typhoon
Well, don't you cry,
little Swee'pea
You and me,
we's both the same
And the biggest tear
I ever seen
Came in the eye
of a hurricane
Go to sleep, sleep, sleepy,
now tell me what you sees
And someday when you's older
I'll tell you's all about me.
"Love...
From Popeye."
Oh, oh...
Let me see, now...
"Keep out."
Hmm..."Tax shelter."
Uh...
Oh, the Commodore's boat,
but no Commodore, of course.
Aha!
Swee'pea's still
in Sweethaven.
Wimpy!
- Who are you talking to?
- Uh, uh...
What did you say about Swee'pea?
I said nothing!
Oh!
Oh... but what about... Bluto?
- Oh, help, help, oh.
- Oh, my, oh!
Oh, oh. Oh dear, oh.
Miss Olive, please help me.
So help me, help me.
- G-Get me out.
- Phooey!
Not until you tell me everything
you know
about Swee'pea.
I know nothing!
Come clean!
Oh! No!
Oh, no! I confess, I confess!
Yeah, infinks.
Ew! I hates infinks.
The kid's worth a fortune,
Commodore!
Uh, I got all the fortune
I cares about, you idiot.
I got me buried treasure...
and don't you wishes
you knows where it's hid.
Eat your spinach,
you no good infink.
Eat it.
Eat it!
Eat it!
Oh, I can't see anything.
There's no one home. Let's go.
Wimpy, you come back here
this very minute.
Uh...
Open this door.
It's probably locked.
Open this door!
Commodore.
Shh.
Don't keep calling me
Commodore...
inside this here harbor.
I got millions o' emenies.
And you is ten or 12 of 'em.
I call you an old fool.
We could break the bank
at the betting parlor.
This kid can predict the future.
I don't want to break the bank
in the betting parlora,
you noninticky.
I owns the betting parlora,
and I owns you.
So don't talk to me
about no future.
I hates the future.
And I hates the past.
And I hates the present.
Especially you, yeah.
All these years
I've been loyal mean,
and all these years,
you've been dropping hints
about buried treasure.
You think
that's fair, hmm?
Don't darest say I ain't fair.
True I hates, but I come
by me hating fair...
and square.
Hating's me call.
I will live and die by hating.
Hate's done me more good
than anything in the world.
It's not easy bein' me
Masker of me own deskiny
And I hates responsibiliky
Oh, it's not easy bein' me
Shut your lip,
and open your mouth.
Oh, it's hard to be in charge
Even harder bein' large
But you're charged
when you're in charge
No, it's not easy bein' me
- Oh, I hate you so much!
- What's as much as a mutiny?
Mutiny!
Oh, it's not easy bein' me
Admiral of me own ship at sea
I've been scuppered.
Oh, we better tell Popeye
we found him.
Who?
It's not easy being me
Shh! Everyone. Come on.
Torpedoed.
I've been torpedoed.
It's not easy bein' me
The problems of the large
If ya know what I mean
He's large, he's largel
I got me own destiny
Yo ho, yo hol
It's not easy bein' meanl
Sometimes some things happen
I don't know why anymore
Sometime one time
something happened
I don't know what anymore
It's not easy bein' me
Masker of me own indignity
And it's not the all
or end of me
Still, it's not easy bein' me
It's not easy bein' me
Me own rope, too.
It's not easy...
Bein' me...
Hey, you harming Swee'peas?
- What?
- Oh.
Oh. Shh. No.
You'll break his heart.
Your father.
You found me fadder?
No!
Yes.
Oh.
Oh, you tell him.
- Uh...
- No, I'll tell him.
Oh, no. Don't tell him.
Let's don't tell him.
Well, what did you find?
Me Swee'pea and me fadder?
Uh, more than that.
You found me fadder
and me Swee'pea. Oh.
- Commodore.
- Oh, no.
Well, you-you found me fadder,
me Swee'pea and the Commodore.
- Oh.
- And Captain Bluto.
- Oh!
- Oh, I get it.
No, that's a real cool
joke there.
Your father is a rat!
Oh.
A crook and a kidnapper.
And he's on the Commodore's boat
right now
with Bluto and Swee'pea.
That's what I can't tell you.
No, he ain't.
Oh, he is, he is!
- No, he ain't, he ain't.
- Oh.
And me fadder ain't
no kidnappers.
Oh, he is, too.
He's a rat, a crook,
a kidnapper
and a bad father and more!
No, no, no, no.
More?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, it appears that...
your father is the Commodore.
Lies. Lies.
There ain't no
dadblasted treasure.
Kid?
This is a crucial question.
Listen close.
Can you lead me to the
old goat's buried treasure?
Don't tell him!
You little rat fink...
He ain't no Commodores.
A hoity-toity Commodore.
He would never be that.
- Oh, a rat.
- Oh.
- A crook.
- Oh.
A kidnapper, and a Commodore.
I don't listen to the advice
of some dizzy gaming broad.
- Oh!
- No. They ain't there.
And I'm going to prove it.
Now where ain't they?
Uh, they ain't
on the Commodore's boat.
- That's where they ain't?
- Mm-hmm.
Well, if that's
where they ain't,
that's where I'm going
to prove that they ain't.
Oh, come on.
Let's do this.
Oh, Popeye, wait a minute.
Go get 'em, Popeye!
My husband has delegated me
to inform you
that he's behind you.
I'd go with you, Popeye,
but I've a shave
and shampoo awaiting.
Give 'em hell, Popeye!
Kick 'em in the butt.
You can count on me,
Mr. Popeye,
uh, tomorrow.
See I'd go with you,
but I got to lock up.
I just hope
he doesn't get hurt.
I'd go with you, Popeye,
but I got us a cold.
You know I'd go with you...
I'd go, Popeye,
but the piano man's...
He's coming.
Revolution is waiting.
Oh, are you going?
Heard it's impartial.
I ain't going.
Are you going?
- Not me.
- I ain't going.
If I wasn't afraid
of the water, I'd go.
Make 'em dance, Popeye.
Almost brought you
a bottle of Pepsi.
Clean up on 'em, Popeye.
Nauseating.
Don't worry,
I'm going with you,
but good luck.
Is this where he ain't?
Hey, hey.
Come on, you...
Come on. Hey.
Hey.
I... I know
you ain't down there.
Truth is, you ain't here...
Now...
where ain't yous?
Where ain't me Swee'peas?
What's that? What? Who?
Pappy?
Pap?
Poppa?
Pa...
Poppa.
I ain't nobody's poppa,
you one-eyed, fish-faced,
sissy-fated, sniffle snaffle.
Oh.
I knew it.
Oh, I knew it.
I found yous.
Oh. I hate sentiment.
I am disgustifated.
Ooh. Ooh, nuts to you.
Phooey, phooey, phooey!
Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, Poppa.
Poppa, Poppa, Poppa.
Oh, Pap... fadder.
It's me. It's me.
Your oxspring son.
Stand to, you swab.
Yes, sir.
You're casking shadows
on Poopdeck Pappy.
Pride of the Pacifiric.
And father to the shark.
Brother to the piranhaca.
Cousin to the killer whale.
And uncle to the octopussy.
I'm your one and only exspring.
See, we got the same bulgy arms.
No resemblance.
We-we got the same
squinky eye.
What squinky eye?
That's going to be hard
for you to see. Oh.
We got the same pipe, Pap.
You idiot,
you can't inherit a pipe!
Ooh.
I am poppa to no male.
Nor no female child.
That no court could prove
otherwise.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
There's one way to prove
I ain't your fadder.
Pick up that can of spinach.
Pick it up!
Yeah.
Now bring it over here.
Yeah. Yeah.
Now eat it.
Eat it?
Eat it.
Raw?
Eat it raw.
Eat that spinach.
I don't want to eat...
Eat the spinach,
you brat.
I don't want to eat
that spinach.
Oh!
I don't want to eat
that spinach.
I don't want to eat...
Eat that spinach!
Oh, you disobedient brat.
You was disobedient
when you was two,
and you're still
disobedient now!
You wouldn't eat your spinach.
Spinach what kept
our family strong
for thousands of years.
And what does me only
oxspring do with it?
He spits it up.
His mother ups and dies,
and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
She choked on it, Pop.
His poppa out of work,
and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
It wasn't my fault.
The whole country
in a depressigan.
And he wouldn't eat his spinach.
That was Coolidge, Poppa.
His poppa going hungry.
Going off to steal.
Stealing what?
Spinach.
So his ungrate son
could grow up big and strong.
You know what I done?
You know what I done
when the G man catched me
and thrung me in jail?
- No.
- Hmm?
- I laughed.
- Yeah. You laughed?
I laughed a whole year.
Cut me down
from this yardarm.
Getting away with that rotten
little insect
of a stool pigeon.
Cut you down?
Cut me down!
Cut me down.
Cut you down, cut you down.
Cut me down!
I, uh, cut you down.
Are you serious?
Well, you said cut you down.
I didn't say cut me down.
I said get me down,
get me down.
Oh, oh, unhand me, you brute!
Oh, what are you doing?
What?! Oh!
Come down here, Bluto!
And don't you ever
pick up another knife.
If you do,
I'll make you eat it.
You'll be known as
the sword-swallowing sailor.
That's me pap.
That's me pap, I know he is.
Oh, what is all
this brightness?
I can't see. I-I...
Oh, Popeye!
All hands on deck.
Come on, haul ass, haul ass.
They're on the vile body.
Miss Oyl, that's me fadder.
No!
Your pappy's a Commodore?!
Follow me, get out of here.
He's got him! Bluto's
got Olive and Swee'pea!
Olive? Olive?
Help! Popeye!
Olive! Olive!
Who got me Olive?
I got to get him before
he gets me treasure.
All of you
can commandeer it.
Help, Popeye!
The wharf, the wharf is moving.
Shut up, stupid.
This ain't no wharf.
This is me getaway boat.
I'll punch your head.
Hoist the main mast.
Hurry up, Popeye!
You're falling behind!
And Bluto's getting away!
Yeah, with us!
Help!
What is it?
It's a rock.
It's a hard place.
Oh, no. It's Scab Island.
Mom...
Don't worry, Castor.
Your father's with us.
S-S-S... Scab Island!
Haul ass!
Haul ass, haul ass.
Get to your stations.
Get to your battle stations.
Oh... oh, phooey!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Who do you think you are,
Captain Arab?
I'm trying to save
me Olive Oyl and me Swee'peas.
Olive Oyl? Swee'pea?
What are you doing,
making a salad?
I want me treasure,
do you hear me?
I want me treasure!
I am the Commodore of this ship,
and don't you give orders on it!
Oh, yeah? Well,
I'm the Commodore, me friend.
You command this privy,
and I'll commands me friends.
Is that any way to talk
to your fadder?
You ain't me fadder.
Me fadder was tall and kind
and looks like
Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah, don't tell me what I am.
Eh? Where'd he go,
where'd he go?
I says I am your fadder.
I ought to know whose fadder
I is and whose fadder I ain't.
Who says?
I said. I said.
I says avast, you bilge rat,
before I use you as an anchor.
Bilge rat, bilge rat,
bilge rat?!
Mutiny, mutiny!
I am your one and only fadder.
Look it, look it...
Eh...
the same bulgy arms.
No resemblance.
Eh, the same squinky eye, eh?
What squinky eye?
The squinky eye.
Help, Popeye! Oh!
We even got, we even
got the same pipe. Look!
This ain't me pipe.
He took the bait.
Eh, I've never seen anything
like this before in me life.
Talking to your
poor old fadder like that.
You disobedient brat.
You're spoiled...
that's what you are... spoiled.
Children. Children. Kids.
Eh, phooey!
Phooey!
Give them everything they want,
and what'd you get in return?
Nothing, nothing.
Nothing but heartache,
heartache, sadness,
and miserky.
And a bad time,
once in a while,
when you try to give them a
bath, and they don't want it.
And another bad time
when you want to do something
that you really want to do,
but all they want to do
is not what you want to do.
Bless their little hearts.
If they were
really made out of gold,
I'd like to sell them
on the open marketplace.
I could make me a fortune.
I could've made us a fortune.
Kids!
Eh, they don't
know what they're doing.
Kids, dadblast 'em!
They're gonna lead you
to ruin.
That's what they gonna do.
Lead you to ruin.
They cry at you
when they're young,
they yell at you
when they're older,
they borrow from yous
when they're middle-aged,
and they leave you alone
to die...
without even paying you back!
Children. Phooey!
You give them
everything they want,
and what do you
get back in return?
You gets nothing!
Catch him like
a big, fat lobster.
Why, they're just smaller
versions of us, you know.
Well, I'm not so crazy
about me in the first place.
So why do I want
one of them?
I'm asking you.
Children.
Ah, children.
Little children.
You'll pour
your heart out to them,
you give them
everything they want,
give them candy,
and a lot of toys,
and what do you get back?
You get a lot of noise.
Nah-nah-nah-nah, nah, nah.
My poppa's a mean old man!
I'm through with children.
I'm through with kids.
There ain't nothing
I'm never gonna do about it.
There it is, Pap,
we's got 'em cornered.
Dad blast
that dirty bilge rat!
You! You,
with that crazy beard,
get that fat guy up here.
Come up here.
Get up here, get up here.
Help! Oh! Help me!
There she is!
Haul ass, haul ass.
Get the cannon
and move it here.
Come on, haul ass,
haul ass, haul ass.
Get the cannon
and move it here.
In a good position, that's it.
What are you doing?
You can't fire that thing.
There's women and infants
on that boat.
You stop worrying.
All I'm gonna do
is fire a warning shot
right across the bow.
Don't you thinks
I knows what I'm doing?
Ah, short, short.
I was a little short.
A little short?
Reload it, reload it.
Reload it.
No, you don't.
Dadblast it! I missed!
Full speed ahead.
Slow down, Pap,
so we can board her.
We're not gonna board her.
I'm gonna ram him.
I'm gonna ram him.
He's not going to get away
with my treasure.
Me Olive and me Swee'pea
is on that boat!
Ha, ha. Pirate's Cove.
I should've known it.
All right, Mr. Mean.
Oh, 'cause that's gonna be your
name
from this day forward!
Yeah, well, you've
broken your bail of straws
on this camel's back,
and just to think
that I was ever gonna get
engaged to you again!
Oh, nevermore, I say.
Nevermore!
Get the water out of the boat!
Lower the lifeboats.
All women first.
Get the water out of the boat!
Portly men first!
Oh, shit!
Now, listen, kid,
this is the most important.
Is the treasure underwater?
Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'd better let me
out of here.
Okay, kid, you watch the boat.
I'm going in.
Oh! Phooey. Oh!
Oh... oh...
Wait a minute!
Where do you think
you're going?
We're almost there!
We're almost where?
Get me out of here.
Oh, I'm all wet. Oh!
Oh, there's fish in here.
Oh.
Popeye, help!
Olives! Oh, that's it.
Help!
Uh-oh.
Land ho!
Go get him, son.
Oh, he's a submarine.
He thinks he's a submarine.
Popeye!
Nana?
Pirates. There's pirates.
Oh!
Bluto!
Hey, that's my treasure,
you runt.
What goes down...
must come up.
Bluto!
Ah, you're in trouble now!
Even though
you're larger than me,
you can't wins,
'cause you're bad,
and the good always
wins over the bad.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
One... two... three!
Oh, help.
Help! Popeye!
Hey! Who, what, where, why,
when? What is this?
Hey, where...?
I think we owe him an apology.
Your intentions were good, yeah.
Oh!
Good night, Irene.
Haul ass, haul ass!
I got to get that treasure.
Now, where is it, where is it?
It must be down there some...
oh!
There it is, there it is!
You, Undertaker,
Undertaker, get over here.
That's me.
I'll undertake that.
Get over here, get over here.
Come on, get on this rope.
Get on this rope.
Ah, that rotten little infink's
looking at me treasure.
Look at that. Look at that.
Come on, pull it up.
Come on...
pirate's booties.
Ha-ha! He ain't gonna get it.
He ain't gonna get it.
Heave! Heave!
I think I'm going to!
Look out! Popeye, no, oh!
Open it!
Get away, get away, get away!
Help!
Oh, I can't see a thing!
Help! Help!
Popeye!
Oh, oh, thanks!
Whoops!
So, it's a sword you need,
is it, you little runt?
Yeah.
You won't be needing that,
will yous?
Watch him, Popeye. Yeah?
Allez-hut, hut, hut, hut!
Hey!
Popeye!
Oh!
Bubble.
Whoa!
Oh, oh, octopus, octopus!
Help! Help!
Oh, Popeye!
Uh... it is an octopussy.
Help! Help!
Oh, I'm going to save that kid.
I'm going to save him.
Hands off!
Hands off that kid, you!
Help! Popeye!
Help! Help! Oh!
Help, oh, help!
Hook him, hook him.
Oh, oh...
Oh, oh!
Oh, Swee'pea! Oh!
Hoopla, hoopla.
Oh! Oh, ooh! Oh...
Oh, who is that down there?
Whoa, oh, don't get fresh.
Oh. Oh...
I'm going to show you
the treasure chest now,
little one.
Here we gonna...
Oh, boy, look, whoa!
Here.
Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, he's got a little...
Isn't that cute?
Popeye!
Dancing, dancing, outside.
Keep your head!
Look out!
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, help! Oh...
Help! Help!
Popeye! Popeye!
Oh...!
Ah, you sissy faded
sniffle snaffle!
If you'd eaten your spinach
like I told you,
you wouldn't be losing
this fight.
I ain't gonna eat no spinach.
I ain't losing.
Oh! Help!
You disobedient brat.
Here, eat this spinach.
Bull's-eye!
Help!
- I-I-I...
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
You don't like spinach?
I hates it.
Yeah.
Eat this spinach.
Eat, eat.
See you in Davy Jones' locker.
Now, my treasure!
Sound the charge, kid.
Help!
Help! Oh!
Oh!
Look at Bluto!
Look at that!
Bluto's turned yellow!
'Fraidy cat, 'fraidy catl
Good riddance to bad garbage.
Oh, Popeye!
- He's Popeye, the sailor man
- Oh, my hero!
He's Popeye, the sailor man
He's strong to the finish
'cause he eats his spinach
He's Popeye, the sailor man
Oh, I'm Popeye,
the sailor man
I'm Popeye, the sailor man,
I'm strong to the finish
'cause I eats me spinach
- I'm Popeye, the sailor man
- He's Popeye, the sailor man
He's Popeye, the sailor man,
he's Popeye, the sailor man
He's strong to the finish
'cause he eats his spinach
He's Popeye, the sailor man
I'm one tough gazookas
that hates all palookas
That ain't
on the up and square
I biffs 'em and buffs 'em,
and always outroughs 'em
And none of 'em gets nowhere
If anyone guesses
to risk his fisk
It's buff and it's wham,
understands?
So keep good behavior,
that's your one lifesaver
With Popeye, the sailor man
He's Popeye, the sailor man,
he's Popeye, the sailor man
Chicken of the seas, yeah.
He's strong to the finish
'cause he eats his spinach
He's Popeye, the sailor man
Popeye
Popeye, the sailor man.
Popeye. Choo-choo!