Prankz (2017) Movie Script
1
(ominous music)
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
Hi, mum, how you doing?
Just got a favour to ask.
Is that okay?
Yeah, nothing too serious,
don't worry about it.
It's just um, uh, you know Rock's yeah?.
Yeah, I kind of need him
taken out for a little bit,
like you know, nine o'clock maybe,
8:30, nine o'clock, somewhere like that.
Yeah, tomorrow morning.
Yeah, is that okay?
See you in a bit, yeah.
Cheers, bye.
What you heard?
(mumbling)
All right Will, time to introduce it.
Wait a sec, sh, she's still asleep man.
Fuckin' man.
Right, time to introduce
everyone to your shit dog.
He's not my dog, and he's not shit, so,
I'll get a photo for you.
Look at them, happy couple.
Wow, so,
you're telling me, if
you'd've picked that dog,
you'd've picked that knob.
I'm not saying that, mate.
He's not even my dog.
He's Abby's, and he's not a knob.
How can a dog be a knob.
You're a knob.
That dog's a knob.
- You're a knob.
- Anyway.
This is Abby's knob dog, Rocky,
and he's gonna star in a
lovely little prank of ours.
[Zac] Right, ladies and gentleman,
it's my pleasure to introduce you to
Rocky Two.
There he is.
Knob,
but before I get into this,
I want to bring one
thing to your attention.
Look at the state of this wallpaper.
Right, let's get to the prank.
Okay, so Will's lovely mum
has taken the real Rocky out
for a nice little walk,
probably to the pub.
And we are gonna give Rocky Two
a nice little grooming session,
because we all know that Will loves
to groom on the internet.
[Will] Come on, Rocky, let's go.
(pants and growls)
Shut up.
(pants)
(whimpers)
Oh dear, oh dear.
Guys, what do you think of Rocky Two?
I think he looks great.
(whimpers)
Morning.
Morning, babe.
You all right?
Yeah, hungry.
Abs, you seen Rocks?
He was charging around earlier,
but I don't know where he's gone now.
I just woke up.
I don't know, do I?
(beeping)
(happy, silly music)
You put a dog down our bog.
Oh, little poem
Is that supposed to be funny?
Just a little, just a little bit.
(laughs)
Yeah, well, it's not.
That dog cost me eight quid,
but I am not fishing it out.
Feel free to subscribe.
If you're new here,
drop us a like on the video
if you liked what you saw.
Yeah, didn't go this time, unfortunately,
but we'll get her next time, don't worry.
See you later guys.
- Have a good one.
- In a bit.
Bye.
(sad music)
That was funny, though.
(upbeat music)
Okay, so it is about 11 p.m.
Abby thinks that we're out
with the lads on the piss,
you know, but I'm afraid, Abby, we're not.
And got some stuff to play with,
here check that out.
And got this.
(snaps fingers)
(ominous music)
Ooh, scary.
Zac, my friend, over to you.
[Zac] Here we go.
(ominous music)
Nice little canvas of
herself, bloody egomaniac.
Wow, dude is punching.
Wish I was a bang average footballer
Okay, so, here we go.
I got one there.
Nice big one there.
(floor squeaks)
You do it, yeah?
[Zac] Yeah, she's gonna
fucking shit herself
(laughs) Nice, nice work, nice.
[Zac] (mumbles) she would.
Yeah, I'm liking this.
(ominous music)
You know, you've seen my phone?
[Zac] It's there.
Where?
[Zac] There.
Thanks.
(ominous music)
(cell phone vibrates)
(Abby screams)
(silly music)
(pants)
Twats.
It was a little bit funny.
[Zac] I thought it was hilarious.
Oh, man, I fucking hate spiders.
Fuck off.
(Zac laughs)
(upbeat music)
Revenge.
So it's 12:30 on a Saturday afternoon.
Will hasn't got a game today,
so obviously he's still in bed.
So lazy.
I'm gonna tempt him out
of bed with some food.
Always seems to work.
Will.
[Will] Yo, what's up.
Will, I'm making some lunch.
Do you want a sandwich?
[Will] Hm, yes, yes.
This morning I went down
to the beach, and I got this.
And then I went down to the shop,
and I got this.
Hot, very hot.
(happy music)
So, Will's gonna bite into his sandwich,
which is filled with sand,
but what's even funnier is that he's
then gonna grab for his drink.
I am a genius.
Will, are you coming?
[Will] Yeah, I'll be there, one sec.
What the fu-
(gags)
Oh my, geeze, that's disgusting.
(coughs)
(Abby laughs)
Oh, fuck off.
And that's for the spiders, fuck face.
So if you like that prank, subscribe,
and do not forget to leave a comment.
Bye.
(upbeat music)
Hi, guys.
So here we are, doing the Parent Trap,
our biggest prank yet.
I have been banned from inside the house.
So I'm in charge of doing cutaways.
Here we have an overpriced house owned
by a pair of bored, middle class parents.
And here we have a sports
car owned by a twat,
and here he is.
All right, welcome to my parent's house.
So, here's the plan, okay?
My parents have been away for the weekend,
to the New Forest, having
a good time and all.
Abby and I have been here
on a romantic house-sitting session,
so romantic, in fact,
that we thought that never
now would be a very, very good time
for her to meet my parents
for the first time.
So now my parents are
back from the New Forest,
having had a great time.
There they are, and the
little sis and the dog, too.
Say hello, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[Will] Awesome, on-screen
debuts, how about that?
Now what Abby doesn't know is I thought
today would be a fantastic
day to swap my moisturiser
with some ultra dark, instant fake tan.
Sorry, Abby.
I've not actually met Abby's folks yet,
so uh, I would just like to take this time
to apologise in advance for this.
This is called "The Parent Trap."
[Zac] Well, here she comes.
Good luck, Will.
You're gonna need it, mate.
[Will] Hey, babe, how you doing?
- You all right?
- Good day, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah.
Hi.
See you in a bit.
Stage one, textbook.
[Abby] Will, can you come upstairs?
[Will] Abs?
What's going on, you okay?
Why, what's wrong?
What's going on?
[Abby] I think we both
know what you've just done.
Well, I haven't done anything.
I've just been waiting
downstairs for you, to be honest.
[Abby] Fake tan has magically
just been put in my moisturiser, yeah?
Oh, fake tan?
[Abby] Fake tan, yeah.
Yeah, I look ridiculous.
Do you? Can I see?
[Abby] No.
This has got to stop, Will.
This isn't funny anymore.
(mumbles) ridiculous now.
I've got to work with an orange face.
Will, it's not funny.
(Will laughs)
Oh, come on, it is a bit.
[Abby] You don't take
anything seriously.
Come on, love, just
remember, don't scrub it.
You have to exfoliate.
[Abby] Go away, Will, just go away.
Oh, come on, look, don't, look.
[Abby] I don't want to talk to you.
Just let me alone.
Please.
Can you please be a little bit quieter?
My parents are downstairs.
[Abby] I don't care.
Let's look, it's not that bad.
You know, let my parents see about it,
like, it's fine.
They, they (mumbles), it's all right.
[Abby] Seem quite well.
You will?
[Abby] I won't turn up with
a face look like a Satsuma.
Are you sorry?
I didn't mean to upset you, but like, I...
[Abby] Do you know
how long this is going
to take to scrub off?
Uh, probably about six or seven days,
according to the packaging.
[Abby] Go away, Will.
Oh, come on, it's just a laugh
[Abby] No, it's not funny.
This has to stop.
I don't want to talk to you, just go away.
(she gasps)
[Zac] Afternoon, Mr. Trump.
Fuck off.
[Zac] Oh, that's not
very presidential, is it?
Hey, where you going?
(patriotic music)
Abby, come on.
Abs, it's funny.
Well, that's not very nice.
(Zac laughs)
Oh, that was classic.
(upbeat music)
So, we're here at Newhaven Fort,
because Abby has banned us
from doing prank videos.
So we're gonna try our hand
at haunted house instead.
Can't be that hard. Can it Abbs?
Now loads of people have come here,
and said that they've seen
ghosts and stuff like that.
Is it bollocks?
Guess we'll find out.
My hunch, bollocks.
But the real reason we're here
is Abby knows someone at the front desk
who can get us in for free.
Ooh.
Scary.
Knob.
Hey, Maggie.
Abby Martin, look at you.
When'd you get so grown
up? You're beautiful.
Oh, not really, but thanks.
How's your mom?
She still working at the home?
Yeah, and I'm working with her.
Oh, good for you.
Is your granddad still there?
Mm-hmm.
Aw, that's lovely.
I bet he's proud of you.
Oh, what can I do for you?
Uh, Sam said that we might
be able to get in for free?
Is Sam, is he about?
He's not, no, but...
Oh, go on, go on through.
Well, which one of you
two is the lucky fella?
It's me.
Oh.
[Zac] Don't worry, Maggie, he's rich.
I see.
Go on in.
Go through.
Cheers, Maggie.
[Will] Thank you.
[Zac] Thanks, Maggie.
Well, Will at the edge of the cliff,
thinking about tossing himself off.
Lovely.
Give us a wave, guys.
I need a piss, you
know where toilets are?
[Abby] Down there by the entrance?
Cool, actually,
I'll just meet you in
the cafe in a bit, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah, see you in the cafe.
Uh, when you're in there,
could you just like grab
us a sandwich or something?
[Abby] Yeah, all right, and
Zac, do you want anything?
No, I'm good, thanks, mum.
(Will mumbles)
No, I'll come with you, man.
[Abby] Jesus, Zac, he can
go to the toilet on his own.
The thing is, Abs, it's
either watch him pissing
or talk to you, so, sorry, but.
Asshole.
What a pair of twats, they're like kids.
Anyway, make sure you like this video
if you want to see more haunted houses.
Don't forget to leave
a comment, subscribe,
that's not what you think.
Right, better go, hope you
will see some ghosts and shit.
Bye.
(Zac mumbles)
Why you filming me
in the toilet, you gay?
[Zac] No, no, listen, all right?
I found this at your house.
Oh, for fuck's sakes,
why'd you bring that?
Come on, man.
- Seriously.
- Oh.
[Zac] Look, it'll be funny.
Come on, just one more.
No, she will fucking kill me,
and she'd kill you, too.
[Zac] Look, it'll all be on me.
All you gotta do is film it.
I can't fucking piss.
Um.
Oh, don't worry about this, mate.
I'm just making film.
Right.
Uh, it's not that kind of film.
It's a ghost film.
All right.
Yeah, it's not for looking at cocks.
(man clears throat)
You're that footballer, right?
Yeah, that's me.
One who does all those videos?
Yep.
All done?
Um, yeah.
Yeah, right.
Can you sign my rucksack.
Um, yeah, sure, let me just wash my.
[Zac] All right, (mumbles).
We good, yeah?
Are you filming?
[Will] Yeah, (mumbles).
Loads of people have come
here, and many have reported
seeing a ghost down in the tunnels.
The ghost is believed to be
the owner of the building
who died right here in 1892.
This is him.
His name was Dr. William Jones,
and people have seen him
lurking around the tunnels
in the night time.
[Will] How'd you know that?
Oh, it's called research, knobhead.
Was I any good?
[Will] Yeah, all right.
You could show some
sort of interest, Will.
Where's Zac?
[Will] I don't know, to be honest.
Are we really doing this?
[Will] Stop worrying
about it, it'll be fine.
You're doing great, okay.
(growls)
(Abby screams)
- (Will laughs)
- [Abby] For fuck's sake.
[Abby] That's it, I'm done.
[Will] Oh, come on, Ab.
[Abby] This is perfect, actually.
[Zac] Abs, come on.
[Will] Where you going?
Home, on my own.
(Will sighs)
(Zac laughs)
[Will] Abby, don't be stupid.
Abs, come on.
[Zac] Where's she going, man?
(bangs on door)
[Will] Abs.
(bangs on door)
Hello?
Oh, god, somebody help us.
[Will] You are a tosser, mate.
Oh, come on, then, don't worry.
There's another door
down this way, anyway.
[Will] Actually, hang on, mate.
I'm gonna ring her.
Yeah?
[Will] Yeah.
Where'd you get that jacket from?
Oh, I found it, pretty fly isn't it?
[Will] Answer phone.
Great, where's this door, then?
This way, I'll show you.
Let's go.
[Will] Bloody hell.
All right, there it is.
The road to freedom.
[Will] Of course it is, all right.
Let's go then.
Let's do it.
[Will] Jesus Christ,
you seen this place?
[Zac] Man, this place is creepy.
[Will] It's fucking grim, man.
[Zac] There must be a
way out up here, though.
[Will] For fuck's sake,
Abby, what you doing?
Not that one.
[Zac] Hey, Will.
[Will] Yeah, mate?
[Zac] Up here, man.
[Will] What's going on?
It's open?
[Zac] Yeah.
It's the way out.
Oh, man, what the fuck?
Why are we doing this, dude?
[Will] I don't know.
Jesus.
This is.
[Will] Hmm?
[Zac] This is grim.
[Will] I second that, man.
Jesus.
There's a door down there.
[Will] Where?
[Zac] Down there.
Hasn't been used for while?
[Will] Yeah, it doesn't look like it,
should we just follow
the path, cause like.
[Zac] I guess so.
[Will] Yeah.
Woah, Jesus.
[Will] What is it?
Check these guys out.
[Will] Oh, fucking hell.
[Zac] That guy's having a bad day.
[Will] Yeah.
Man, this sort of stuff shits me up man.
What's that?
[Will] Wax works.
[Zac] Oh, don't be a
pussy, they're only wax.
[Will] Oh, fuck me.
(girl screams)
Oh my God.
You're Will, you're Will, oh my God.
I can't believe this, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Will] Fuck me, you scared
the fucking shit out of me.
Sorry, I just, I love your channel,
and I'm sorry, I'm Carly.
- I'm Carly Baker.
- Hey, Carly.
Oh my god, is Abby here?
Is Abby, she's so gorgeous.
[Will] She's not, I'm afraid
I couldn't tell you where she is.
Where is Zac, is he here?
[Will] Yeah, actually he is.
Hey, Zac.
[Zac] Yo.
No way, oh my God.
I love you guys so much, I just.
[Will] Thank you.
Can I get a selfie Zac, is that okay?
[Zac] Yeah, whatever.
Okay, it's fine.
Amazing, thank you.
[Zac] No worries.
[Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, the fort is now closing.
Hope you enjoyed your visit.
Hope to see you again soon.
[Will] Fucking brilliant,
can you believe that?
It's bloody closing, isn't it?
Why don't we just go
back the way we came?
[Will] Yeah, that's a shout, let's go.
[Zac] Worth a try, anyway, huh?
Gotta be a way out somewhere.
[Carly] They won't have
locked all the doors yet.
Keep going?
[Zac] Yeah, all right,
I'm gonna go check this one.
Unbelievable.
[Will] What?
- They're locked?
- Locked.
Not way, oh my god.
[Will] What's the number for this place?
Oh, I'll look it up.
Uh, 01265.
Yep.
[Will] Cool.
Got it?
[Will] I'll put this on speakerphone.
You gotta hear this.
[Announcer] Thank you
for calling Newhaven Fort.
Our open hours are ten a.m. until 5 p.m.,
Monday through Saturday.
We are now closed on Sundays.
Thank you for calling.
We look forward to seeing you soon.
[Will] Fucking brilliant, isn't it?
Okay.
[Will] So it's closed tonight,
and it's fucking closed tomorrow as well.
Will.
[Will] Yeah, man?
Try Abby again.
[Will] Uh, yeah
Take that.
[Zac] Yeah, I got it.
Time to beg.
[Will] Hey, babe, it's me.
Look, I'm really, really sorry
about what happened earlier, truly.
It wasn't my idea.
It was Zac's, and well,
yeah, you know, Zac.
[Zac] Give us a wave.
So, yeah, so we're stuck here,
and was wondering if maybe you could like
come back and collect us,
or I don't know maybe
see if there's any staff.
[Zac] Or maybe that Maggie woman.
[Will] Or someone, I don't know.
Yeah, thanks, just call me back
when you get this, please.
Again, I'm really, really sorry.
Bye, I love you, babe, bye.
(Zac laughs)
Um, look (laughs).
I used to come here all
the time when I was a kid,
and there was a door like maybe that way.
I don't know, uh, might as well try.
What over that way?
Yeah, come on.
[Zac] Lead the way, Daphne.
Definitely a Velma.
Mate, this place is proper grim.
[Will] You said that stuff was bollocks.
Where's this door, then?
It is down there.
[Will] Fuckin', of course it is.
All right, let's go then.
[Carly] You two are such pussies.
Yo, Will.
[Will] Yeah, man.
This is gonna get so many hits, man.
[Will] Yeah, every cloud.
Will, man, this is weird.
[Will] Tell me about it, buddy.
They're gonna lap this shit up.
[Will] They will, man.
Oh, man, check this out.
The tunnel you're about
to enter, though short,
has been the subject
of much strange comment
in recent years.
A number of visitors to this
area of the fort have reported
unexplained sounds, peripheral shadows,
and even more disturbing, report
of a kind of physical force
attempting to push back those
persons entering the tunnel.
Damn.
So, I guess this is the tunnel.
[Will] You wanted ghosts.
You got them, man.
Yeah, no shit.
Let's try it.
(they laugh)
Spooky!
[Will] Oh, man.
What are these things
on the walls, just like?
[Carly] It's down here.
It's just, oh, here it is.
[Zac] Oh, right, cool.
[Carly] That's the next problem.
(Zac knocks)
[Carly] There's a lock on it.
[Will] It's locked?
[Carly] Yeah.
- (Zac knocks)
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hello, hello.
[Will] Hello?
There's got to be someone, surely.
[Carly] Come on, help, excuse me.
[Will] Anything down here?
All yours, man.
[Will] Let's go.
Hello?
(Zac roars)
- (all laugh)
- [Will] What the fuck?
You wanker, absolute tosser.
Aw, come on, man.
[Will] Just pack it in, yeah?
[Zac] Shut up.
[Will] Yeah.
[Zac] See that?
So what we gonna do, man?
[Will] Don't know, just
wait for Abs, I suppose.
(flashlight clicking)
(clattering)
Fuck, do you hear that?
What the hell was that?
[Will] Brilliant, there
must be someone there.
Come on, let's go.
Hello?
Is someone there?
We've been locked in.
Hello?
[Zac] What is it, man?
[Carly] Hello?
[Zac] The hell is that?
[Will] It's a chair.
This is Abs, isn't it?
[Will] You think?
This is a prank.
It's Abby, it's got to be.
[Will] No, mate, she was
properly fucked off earlier.
[Carly] Look, the
chair came from upstairs,
so I think maybe we
should go and have a look
and see if there's anyone there.
[Will] Yeah, that's a shout.
[Zac] All right.
[Will] Lead the way.
[Announcer] Fort historians
believe maybe the ghost is
notorious Doctor William Jones,
who died in this tunnel in 1892,
but his body was not
discovered for a whole year.
(Zac laughs)
You scared yet, Willy boy?
[Will] What you doing, man?
Huh?
[Will] What you doing?
Just putting out a tweet, man.
Someone might see it and get us out.
Zac.
[Zac] Yo.
Could you do me a massive favour?
Yeah, sure, what's up?
See, I do makeup vlogs,
and will you do me a favour,
if you could just link
my channel on the video
when it goes up, please?
Will, we can do that, right?
[Carly] Thank you.
[Will] It's my channel not your channel.
(Zac mumbles)
[Will] If I remember rightly,
there was an entrance,
like, down this way.
It's worth a go.
[Carly] Yeah.
- Cool.
- Okay.
[Zac] (sighs) Go.
(growling)
[Carly] What the fuck?
Did you hear that?
Well, that was weird.
Spooky.
[Zac] Ah, that's probably nothing.
Come on, let's keep going.
(Will sings spookily)
Woah, check this thing out.
[Carly] What's that doing there?
[Will] No idea.
(Zac laughs)
[Zac] All right, up to freedom, I think.
Woah, woah, woah, woah.
[Will] Woah, what is it, what is it?
The headless soldier.
Maybe he got bored of waiting
and chewed his face off.
[Carly] Go ahead.
Oh, you're kidding.
[Will] Of course.
[Zac] Another locked door
[Will] Look at that, it's getting dark.
[Carly] Oh my god.
Strange!.
Listen.
[Will] What the fuck?
What's that?
(ringing)
I rang Abs.
Mate, that's her ring tone.
[Will] Yeah, that is.
It's this way, come on.
[Zac] It's still ringing.
Now it's stopped, it's stopped.
[Will] God, ring again, ring again.
[Zac] I'm doing it, I'm
doing it, I'm doing it.
[Will] This way.
[Zac] Yeah, straight down.
Abby? Abs?
[Will] Thank fuck for that.
[Zac] Abs.
Abs, we're down here.
Abby, where are you?
Now it's gone.
[Will] Ring again, ring it again.
[Zac] All right, it's ringing.
[Will] Where is it?
(ringing)
[Zac] Will?
(ringing)
It's coming from down there.
[Will] You're right it is.
All right, let's do it.
I'm gonna try again.
It's gone to voice mail.
[Will] Yeah, she hung up on you.
Well, it was that way.
[Will] Yeah, go on.
Lead the way.
This is weird.
It's fucking weird.
I'm not liking it at all.
[Will] Oh, dear.
I just want to lay in bed now.
[Zac] We've been here.
We've already been down here.
What are we doing?
We've gone around in circles, man.
[Will] This is stupid.
It's fucking stupid.
What the?
That wasn't there before.
[Zac] What wasn't?
[Will] That chair,
that wasn't there before.
[Zac] Mate, is that the
one that fell down stairs?
[Will] I don't know,
I mean, it could be.
Who put it there, like, that's just.
It's her, mate.
[Will] Who?
It's Abby.
Come on, think about it.
Her phone's down here.
She isn't, but she fucking with our heads,
and she's brilliant.
Abby?
Dude.
[Will] Yeah?
[Zac] Where's Velma?
[Will] What was her name?
[Zac] I don't know, Carly.
[Will] Carly!
Carly, Carly!
[Will] Carly!
Man, there she is.
- Um, yeah.
- You all right?
I was texting my mum to make sure
that she knows I'm okay.
[Will] There's barely
any reception down here.
You're gonna have to
go back up if you want.
Okay, go.
[Will] You really think it's her?
Of course it is, man.
It's got to be her.
[Will] How's she get
back in here though?
Well, didn't she say she
knew someone that worked here.
[Will] Yeah, Sam, her ex.
Ah, yes, the good-looking
one, who's not a footballer.
[Will] Oh my God.
Oh, text.
(laughs) I told you.
I told you it was her,
man, look, check it out.
[Will] For fuck's sake.
She's just sent that to me.
[Will] This is fucked.
Right, she's down there.
She must be hiding.
[Carly] What?
(chanting music over loudspeaker)
[Will] Woah, what the fuck is that?
Oh man, fair play to her.
This is fucking mental.
No, what is that?
[Will] What is it?
[Carly] Just, have a look, come look.
[Zac] There's a person.
(music chants over loudspeaker)
[Will] What the fuck, mate?
(music chants over loudspeaker)
(they gasp)
- Fuck me.
- Oh my God.
[Will] Fuck.
(Zac gasps)
What the fuck is.
Hey, it's plastic.
[Carly] Oh my God.
[Zac] It's a fucking mannequin.
[Will] A fucking mannequin, Jesus.
(Zac mumbles)
Is Abs in there?
[Carly] Guys, guys, look.
[Will] What is it?
Oh, thank God.
That's all over, mate, look.
She's played it absolute blinder here.
I was scared, I know you
were scared, I was terrified.
[Carly] Oh my God.
[Will] She's done a good
job of that, I tell you what.
[Zac] I tell you what, Carly
lets get a selfie with it.
We'll put it in the video.
[Will] Oh, shit, his leg just moved.
[Zac] Fuck off.
(Will laughs)
Dude, seriously.
[Carly] What now, not now.
[Will] Yeah, he's got something.
Ready?
Abs, you almost got us,
um, nice one, Abs.
(they laugh)
[Will] Good job, Abby.
Woah.
We good?
Any more of Abby's friends about?
(laughs) Yeah, look,
there's loads of them.
[Carly] (Laughs) Oh, god.
[Will] Lovely.
[Zac] Wow.
[Will] God, that will be
you in a few years, mate,
that hairline.
[Zac] This one?
[Will] Yeah (laughs).
[Carly] No one is like
wearing full makeup.
That's like a woman's one.
[Will] Ah.
(Carly laughs)
[Zac] Oh, Will, check it out, look.
[Will] What is it?
YouTuber of the Year award, wa-hay.
(Carly laughs)
[Will] You get a gold star.
[Zac] Jesus, man,
there's more of them, look.
[Carly] Oh my God, it's so creepy.
[Will] Faceless.
[Zac] Faceless freaks.
Jesus.
Oh Christ.
There's a fair few of them in there, man.
That one.
[Will] That's just,
that's just a mess, isn't it?
[Zac] What's gone on with his face?
Look at these two.
Look in there.
[Will] Abs, you can come out now.
Abby.
Oh, fuck's sake.
[Zac] Hey Will, where's the door, man?
Ooh, just look, there's more of them.
[Carly] It's so creepy.
[Will] Abby, you home?
[Zac] Oh, man, this is
fucking scary, look at this.
[Will] Oh, shit.
That is not a pretty site, is it?
Yeah, what is it, man?
What's going on?
Where's Velma?
[Will] Um, don't know, yeah,
she was just back there a second ago.
Man, I'll shit her right up.
[Will] That fucking mask.
[Zac] You love that mask.
How's it look?
[Will] Um, yeah, still
the same knobhead, mate.
(Zac laughs)
[Zac] Oh, Carly.
Where are you?
Hello, mate.
(phone ringtone rings)
[Will] Zac?
Abby's phone's in here.
Come here, mate.
(phone ringtone rings)
Zac?
You there?
What the fuck.
Abby, you can come out now.
Fuck.
What are you doing there?
Zac, mate, you got to
come and see this, mate.
Zac.
Mate, come here.
Carly?
Guys?
What the fuck?
Fuck me.
[Abby] Will!
[Will] Abby?
[Abby] Will!
[Will] This isn't funny any more, Abby.
Abs, come on, you can come out.
[Announcer] (mumbles)
below a tunnel in 1892.
Authorities at the time estimate (mumbles)
brought here after his death.
[Will] Hi, can I get police, please?
Hi, my name's Will.
I'm doing these prank videos
with my girlfriend, Abby,
and we've been locked in,
you know, Fort Newhaven?
Yeah, by the cliff.
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
No, no, this isn't,
no, this isn't a prank.
This isn't a prank.
No, no, I'm serious.
Please believe, like, my girlfriend,
I don't know where she is,
but she was just like screaming my name
a second ago down in the
tunnels or something,
I don't know.
It's really freaking me out.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'm here with my mate, Zac,
and uh, yeah, yeah, him.
Yeah, Zac, and there's this other girl,
Carly, as well.
She's down here, too, but
I don't know where they've gone, man.
In the tunnels or something,
I really just want to go home.
Okay, it's just I've been
stuck here for so long,
and it's just sent me
a bit barmy, you know.
My girlfriend, she left,
like two, three hours ago.
And I just heard her screaming,
like absolutely screaming my name.
40 minutes, are you fucking serious?
I'm stuck in here.
Yeah, man, I know, but.
Yes, no, I'm sorry, it's
just, yeah, I'm sorry.
It's just I'm really fucking scared.
[Carly] Who's that?
[Will] I called police.
[Carly] Why?
[Will] Don't tell me you
didn't hear that screaming?
I'm pretty sure that was Abby.
[Carly] No, really, where?
[Will] I don't really know.
I think it was off and that way.
Why way that is, Abby's there?
[Will] No, but you'll get
a nice little surprise back there.
Oh my God, Jesus.
[Will] Look at that thing?
Oh my God, what the.
Where's Zac?
Zac.
[Will] He'll come back.
He always does.
So do you regret it?
[Will] Do I regret what, sorry?
Bullying Abby?
If that is her screaming.
[Will] I don't bully her, mate.
I think you do.
[Will] I don't bully her.
It's banter for the channel, isn't it.
Anyway, she's fine, all right.
I don't think she is.
I don't think it is exactly banter.
(pipes banging)
Um, that's creepy.
[Will] Abby.
(pipes banging)
Ab.
Abby.
Abs!
Oh crap, it sounded like someone was
hammering something?
Hi, Zac.
Yeah, it's me.
Carly.
Yeah, where are you?
Okay, well, shout and we'll try
and see if we can hear you, hold on.
We can't hear you.
All right, well, why don't you stay there,
and we'll come to you, okay?
[Will] Hang on, let me speak to him.
Oh, sorry, he's gone,
but he's up by the exhibits
and he said he'd wait, so.
[Will] Knobhead.
How'd you know his number?
[Carly] We swapped earlier.
[Will] Of course you did.
[Announcer] (mumbles)
Inspector Edmund Reed
to visit William Jones, as
part of the Jack the Ripper
investigation, after Jones' wife
was found with her abdomen cut open.
Jones never ruled out the suspect
in the Whitechapel Murders
Jack the Ripper.
[Will] Nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope, nope.
Oh my God, it keeps going.
[Will] Abby?
Abby, oh my God.
What the fuck, Abs, you here?
(notification beeps)
What's that?
[Will] Sounded like Zac's.
Really?
[Will] Yeah.
Fuck.
[Carly] Oh my God, okay.
[Will] Zac?
You all right, mate?
[Carly] Oh my God,
these are starting to really creep me out.
[Will] Yeah.
Hello, Zac.
[Carly] What's that?
Who is that?
[Will] That's Zac, what?
[Carly] Seriously?
(mannequin roars)
(Will and Carly scream)
[Will] Oh my God.
(Will pants)
Oh my God, oh my God.
Fuck, fuck, oh my God.
(girl screams)
Police, I need the police.
I called earlier, my name is Will.
I'm up in Fort Newhaven,
and I need you to get here quickly.
Yes, yeah.
Okay, so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, let me explain, okay.
All right.
Okay, so there's this, all right.
My girlfriend Abby, she's
down in the tunnels somewhere,
and she just keeps screaming for me.
I really think something bad
might've happened to her.
Oh, fuck me.
My mate, he's been taken.
I've got a picture of him.
He's been tied up somewhere.
I don't know where he is.
There's this thing down
here that's coming for me.
I don't have a fucking clue what it is.
Man in a mask or something, I don't know.
No, please, can you get here quickly.
Okay, okay, all right, okay.
Please be quick.
Come on, I called them.
For fuck's sake, mate.
Shit, fucking shit.
Come on.
Oh, fuck, shit.
The fuck, oh my, fuck.
Oh my, the fuck.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, fuck.
Oh my God.
Come on, come on.
Oh my God.
Holy shit.
(panting) Oh my God, oh my god.
Please, come on.
(panting)
Fuck, come on.
(panting)
Oh, God.
Help!
Help, I'm in here, someone!
Help!
What the fuck?
Shit, shit, fuck.
Come on.
Oh, fuck.
Oh my God.
Oh my fucking God, come on.
(girl screaming)
Fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, come on.
(panting)
Oh my God (panting).
Abs, no, Abby, Abs.
Oh, fuck, Abby, fuck no.
Oh, God, get off me (screaming).
(happy, old-fashioned music chanting)
(panting)
(happy, old-fashioned music chanting)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(blade sharpening)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(whimpering and begging)
So, I hope you enjoyed my little movie.
Don't forget to leave a
comment, like, and subscribe.
- Fucking assholes.
- What the fuck?
(happy, silly music)
Abby, come back.
Abby, come back.
(upbeat music)
Do you know where the toilets are?
[Abby] Down there by the entrance?
Okay, just meet you in
the cafe in a bit, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah, see you in a bit.
When you're in there,
can you just like grab
a sandwich or something?
[Abby] Yeah, all right, and
Zac, do you want anything?
No, I'm good, thanks, mum.
No, I'm good, man.
(upbeat music)
(Zac roars)
(Abby screams)
[Abby] For fuck's sake, that's it.
I'm done.
[Will] Oh, come on, Ab.
This is perfect, actually.
[Zac] Abs, come on.
[Will] Where you going?
Home, on my own.
(upbeat music)
[Will] Abby, don't be stupid.
Abs, come on.
(Will bangs on door)
Maggie, what a legend.
(upbeat music)
Okay, here we go.
This is for you, Abs.
(Carly screams)
[Will] God.
God, you're Will,
you're Will, oh my God.
I can't believe this, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Will] Oh, God, fuck, mate,
you scared the fucking shit out of me.
Sorry, I just, I love your channel,
and hi, I'm sorry, I'm Carly, Carly Baker
[Will] Hey, Carly.
Is, oh my God, is
Abby here, is Abby here?
(upbeat music)
[Will] Don't know, just
wait for Abs, I suppose.
(upbeat music)
(chair clatters)
Fuck me.
What the hell was that?
[Will] Brilliant, there
must be someone there.
Come on, let's go.
(Will and Zac mumbles)
(upbeat music)
I told you.
I told you it was her, man.
Look, check it out.
She just sent that to me.
[Will] This is crazy.
She's down there, hiding.
(happy old-fashioned chanting music)
- Woah.
- Woah.
[Will] What the fuck is that?
Oh man, fair play to her.
This is fucking mental.
[Will] I don't bully her.
It's banter for the channel, isn't it?
Anyway, she's fine, all right.
I don't think she is,
and I don't think it is exactly banter.
(upbeat music)
(pipe banging)
That's creepy.
(upbeat music)
It sounded like someone
was hammering something.
[Will] Help!
Help, I'm in here!
Someone, help!
(upbeat music)
What the fuck.
(upbeat music)
(Abby screams)
Oh fuck, shit (pants).
(upbeat music)
Abs, Abby, Abs.
Oh, oh, Abby (whimpers).
Get off me.
(upbeat music)
(sad guitar music)
(digital music)
(ominous music)
(ominous music)
(upbeat music)
Hi, mum, how you doing?
Just got a favour to ask.
Is that okay?
Yeah, nothing too serious,
don't worry about it.
It's just um, uh, you know Rock's yeah?.
Yeah, I kind of need him
taken out for a little bit,
like you know, nine o'clock maybe,
8:30, nine o'clock, somewhere like that.
Yeah, tomorrow morning.
Yeah, is that okay?
See you in a bit, yeah.
Cheers, bye.
What you heard?
(mumbling)
All right Will, time to introduce it.
Wait a sec, sh, she's still asleep man.
Fuckin' man.
Right, time to introduce
everyone to your shit dog.
He's not my dog, and he's not shit, so,
I'll get a photo for you.
Look at them, happy couple.
Wow, so,
you're telling me, if
you'd've picked that dog,
you'd've picked that knob.
I'm not saying that, mate.
He's not even my dog.
He's Abby's, and he's not a knob.
How can a dog be a knob.
You're a knob.
That dog's a knob.
- You're a knob.
- Anyway.
This is Abby's knob dog, Rocky,
and he's gonna star in a
lovely little prank of ours.
[Zac] Right, ladies and gentleman,
it's my pleasure to introduce you to
Rocky Two.
There he is.
Knob,
but before I get into this,
I want to bring one
thing to your attention.
Look at the state of this wallpaper.
Right, let's get to the prank.
Okay, so Will's lovely mum
has taken the real Rocky out
for a nice little walk,
probably to the pub.
And we are gonna give Rocky Two
a nice little grooming session,
because we all know that Will loves
to groom on the internet.
[Will] Come on, Rocky, let's go.
(pants and growls)
Shut up.
(pants)
(whimpers)
Oh dear, oh dear.
Guys, what do you think of Rocky Two?
I think he looks great.
(whimpers)
Morning.
Morning, babe.
You all right?
Yeah, hungry.
Abs, you seen Rocks?
He was charging around earlier,
but I don't know where he's gone now.
I just woke up.
I don't know, do I?
(beeping)
(happy, silly music)
You put a dog down our bog.
Oh, little poem
Is that supposed to be funny?
Just a little, just a little bit.
(laughs)
Yeah, well, it's not.
That dog cost me eight quid,
but I am not fishing it out.
Feel free to subscribe.
If you're new here,
drop us a like on the video
if you liked what you saw.
Yeah, didn't go this time, unfortunately,
but we'll get her next time, don't worry.
See you later guys.
- Have a good one.
- In a bit.
Bye.
(sad music)
That was funny, though.
(upbeat music)
Okay, so it is about 11 p.m.
Abby thinks that we're out
with the lads on the piss,
you know, but I'm afraid, Abby, we're not.
And got some stuff to play with,
here check that out.
And got this.
(snaps fingers)
(ominous music)
Ooh, scary.
Zac, my friend, over to you.
[Zac] Here we go.
(ominous music)
Nice little canvas of
herself, bloody egomaniac.
Wow, dude is punching.
Wish I was a bang average footballer
Okay, so, here we go.
I got one there.
Nice big one there.
(floor squeaks)
You do it, yeah?
[Zac] Yeah, she's gonna
fucking shit herself
(laughs) Nice, nice work, nice.
[Zac] (mumbles) she would.
Yeah, I'm liking this.
(ominous music)
You know, you've seen my phone?
[Zac] It's there.
Where?
[Zac] There.
Thanks.
(ominous music)
(cell phone vibrates)
(Abby screams)
(silly music)
(pants)
Twats.
It was a little bit funny.
[Zac] I thought it was hilarious.
Oh, man, I fucking hate spiders.
Fuck off.
(Zac laughs)
(upbeat music)
Revenge.
So it's 12:30 on a Saturday afternoon.
Will hasn't got a game today,
so obviously he's still in bed.
So lazy.
I'm gonna tempt him out
of bed with some food.
Always seems to work.
Will.
[Will] Yo, what's up.
Will, I'm making some lunch.
Do you want a sandwich?
[Will] Hm, yes, yes.
This morning I went down
to the beach, and I got this.
And then I went down to the shop,
and I got this.
Hot, very hot.
(happy music)
So, Will's gonna bite into his sandwich,
which is filled with sand,
but what's even funnier is that he's
then gonna grab for his drink.
I am a genius.
Will, are you coming?
[Will] Yeah, I'll be there, one sec.
What the fu-
(gags)
Oh my, geeze, that's disgusting.
(coughs)
(Abby laughs)
Oh, fuck off.
And that's for the spiders, fuck face.
So if you like that prank, subscribe,
and do not forget to leave a comment.
Bye.
(upbeat music)
Hi, guys.
So here we are, doing the Parent Trap,
our biggest prank yet.
I have been banned from inside the house.
So I'm in charge of doing cutaways.
Here we have an overpriced house owned
by a pair of bored, middle class parents.
And here we have a sports
car owned by a twat,
and here he is.
All right, welcome to my parent's house.
So, here's the plan, okay?
My parents have been away for the weekend,
to the New Forest, having
a good time and all.
Abby and I have been here
on a romantic house-sitting session,
so romantic, in fact,
that we thought that never
now would be a very, very good time
for her to meet my parents
for the first time.
So now my parents are
back from the New Forest,
having had a great time.
There they are, and the
little sis and the dog, too.
Say hello, guys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[Will] Awesome, on-screen
debuts, how about that?
Now what Abby doesn't know is I thought
today would be a fantastic
day to swap my moisturiser
with some ultra dark, instant fake tan.
Sorry, Abby.
I've not actually met Abby's folks yet,
so uh, I would just like to take this time
to apologise in advance for this.
This is called "The Parent Trap."
[Zac] Well, here she comes.
Good luck, Will.
You're gonna need it, mate.
[Will] Hey, babe, how you doing?
- You all right?
- Good day, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah.
Hi.
See you in a bit.
Stage one, textbook.
[Abby] Will, can you come upstairs?
[Will] Abs?
What's going on, you okay?
Why, what's wrong?
What's going on?
[Abby] I think we both
know what you've just done.
Well, I haven't done anything.
I've just been waiting
downstairs for you, to be honest.
[Abby] Fake tan has magically
just been put in my moisturiser, yeah?
Oh, fake tan?
[Abby] Fake tan, yeah.
Yeah, I look ridiculous.
Do you? Can I see?
[Abby] No.
This has got to stop, Will.
This isn't funny anymore.
(mumbles) ridiculous now.
I've got to work with an orange face.
Will, it's not funny.
(Will laughs)
Oh, come on, it is a bit.
[Abby] You don't take
anything seriously.
Come on, love, just
remember, don't scrub it.
You have to exfoliate.
[Abby] Go away, Will, just go away.
Oh, come on, look, don't, look.
[Abby] I don't want to talk to you.
Just let me alone.
Please.
Can you please be a little bit quieter?
My parents are downstairs.
[Abby] I don't care.
Let's look, it's not that bad.
You know, let my parents see about it,
like, it's fine.
They, they (mumbles), it's all right.
[Abby] Seem quite well.
You will?
[Abby] I won't turn up with
a face look like a Satsuma.
Are you sorry?
I didn't mean to upset you, but like, I...
[Abby] Do you know
how long this is going
to take to scrub off?
Uh, probably about six or seven days,
according to the packaging.
[Abby] Go away, Will.
Oh, come on, it's just a laugh
[Abby] No, it's not funny.
This has to stop.
I don't want to talk to you, just go away.
(she gasps)
[Zac] Afternoon, Mr. Trump.
Fuck off.
[Zac] Oh, that's not
very presidential, is it?
Hey, where you going?
(patriotic music)
Abby, come on.
Abs, it's funny.
Well, that's not very nice.
(Zac laughs)
Oh, that was classic.
(upbeat music)
So, we're here at Newhaven Fort,
because Abby has banned us
from doing prank videos.
So we're gonna try our hand
at haunted house instead.
Can't be that hard. Can it Abbs?
Now loads of people have come here,
and said that they've seen
ghosts and stuff like that.
Is it bollocks?
Guess we'll find out.
My hunch, bollocks.
But the real reason we're here
is Abby knows someone at the front desk
who can get us in for free.
Ooh.
Scary.
Knob.
Hey, Maggie.
Abby Martin, look at you.
When'd you get so grown
up? You're beautiful.
Oh, not really, but thanks.
How's your mom?
She still working at the home?
Yeah, and I'm working with her.
Oh, good for you.
Is your granddad still there?
Mm-hmm.
Aw, that's lovely.
I bet he's proud of you.
Oh, what can I do for you?
Uh, Sam said that we might
be able to get in for free?
Is Sam, is he about?
He's not, no, but...
Oh, go on, go on through.
Well, which one of you
two is the lucky fella?
It's me.
Oh.
[Zac] Don't worry, Maggie, he's rich.
I see.
Go on in.
Go through.
Cheers, Maggie.
[Will] Thank you.
[Zac] Thanks, Maggie.
Well, Will at the edge of the cliff,
thinking about tossing himself off.
Lovely.
Give us a wave, guys.
I need a piss, you
know where toilets are?
[Abby] Down there by the entrance?
Cool, actually,
I'll just meet you in
the cafe in a bit, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah, see you in the cafe.
Uh, when you're in there,
could you just like grab
us a sandwich or something?
[Abby] Yeah, all right, and
Zac, do you want anything?
No, I'm good, thanks, mum.
(Will mumbles)
No, I'll come with you, man.
[Abby] Jesus, Zac, he can
go to the toilet on his own.
The thing is, Abs, it's
either watch him pissing
or talk to you, so, sorry, but.
Asshole.
What a pair of twats, they're like kids.
Anyway, make sure you like this video
if you want to see more haunted houses.
Don't forget to leave
a comment, subscribe,
that's not what you think.
Right, better go, hope you
will see some ghosts and shit.
Bye.
(Zac mumbles)
Why you filming me
in the toilet, you gay?
[Zac] No, no, listen, all right?
I found this at your house.
Oh, for fuck's sakes,
why'd you bring that?
Come on, man.
- Seriously.
- Oh.
[Zac] Look, it'll be funny.
Come on, just one more.
No, she will fucking kill me,
and she'd kill you, too.
[Zac] Look, it'll all be on me.
All you gotta do is film it.
I can't fucking piss.
Um.
Oh, don't worry about this, mate.
I'm just making film.
Right.
Uh, it's not that kind of film.
It's a ghost film.
All right.
Yeah, it's not for looking at cocks.
(man clears throat)
You're that footballer, right?
Yeah, that's me.
One who does all those videos?
Yep.
All done?
Um, yeah.
Yeah, right.
Can you sign my rucksack.
Um, yeah, sure, let me just wash my.
[Zac] All right, (mumbles).
We good, yeah?
Are you filming?
[Will] Yeah, (mumbles).
Loads of people have come
here, and many have reported
seeing a ghost down in the tunnels.
The ghost is believed to be
the owner of the building
who died right here in 1892.
This is him.
His name was Dr. William Jones,
and people have seen him
lurking around the tunnels
in the night time.
[Will] How'd you know that?
Oh, it's called research, knobhead.
Was I any good?
[Will] Yeah, all right.
You could show some
sort of interest, Will.
Where's Zac?
[Will] I don't know, to be honest.
Are we really doing this?
[Will] Stop worrying
about it, it'll be fine.
You're doing great, okay.
(growls)
(Abby screams)
- (Will laughs)
- [Abby] For fuck's sake.
[Abby] That's it, I'm done.
[Will] Oh, come on, Ab.
[Abby] This is perfect, actually.
[Zac] Abs, come on.
[Will] Where you going?
Home, on my own.
(Will sighs)
(Zac laughs)
[Will] Abby, don't be stupid.
Abs, come on.
[Zac] Where's she going, man?
(bangs on door)
[Will] Abs.
(bangs on door)
Hello?
Oh, god, somebody help us.
[Will] You are a tosser, mate.
Oh, come on, then, don't worry.
There's another door
down this way, anyway.
[Will] Actually, hang on, mate.
I'm gonna ring her.
Yeah?
[Will] Yeah.
Where'd you get that jacket from?
Oh, I found it, pretty fly isn't it?
[Will] Answer phone.
Great, where's this door, then?
This way, I'll show you.
Let's go.
[Will] Bloody hell.
All right, there it is.
The road to freedom.
[Will] Of course it is, all right.
Let's go then.
Let's do it.
[Will] Jesus Christ,
you seen this place?
[Zac] Man, this place is creepy.
[Will] It's fucking grim, man.
[Zac] There must be a
way out up here, though.
[Will] For fuck's sake,
Abby, what you doing?
Not that one.
[Zac] Hey, Will.
[Will] Yeah, mate?
[Zac] Up here, man.
[Will] What's going on?
It's open?
[Zac] Yeah.
It's the way out.
Oh, man, what the fuck?
Why are we doing this, dude?
[Will] I don't know.
Jesus.
This is.
[Will] Hmm?
[Zac] This is grim.
[Will] I second that, man.
Jesus.
There's a door down there.
[Will] Where?
[Zac] Down there.
Hasn't been used for while?
[Will] Yeah, it doesn't look like it,
should we just follow
the path, cause like.
[Zac] I guess so.
[Will] Yeah.
Woah, Jesus.
[Will] What is it?
Check these guys out.
[Will] Oh, fucking hell.
[Zac] That guy's having a bad day.
[Will] Yeah.
Man, this sort of stuff shits me up man.
What's that?
[Will] Wax works.
[Zac] Oh, don't be a
pussy, they're only wax.
[Will] Oh, fuck me.
(girl screams)
Oh my God.
You're Will, you're Will, oh my God.
I can't believe this, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Will] Fuck me, you scared
the fucking shit out of me.
Sorry, I just, I love your channel,
and I'm sorry, I'm Carly.
- I'm Carly Baker.
- Hey, Carly.
Oh my god, is Abby here?
Is Abby, she's so gorgeous.
[Will] She's not, I'm afraid
I couldn't tell you where she is.
Where is Zac, is he here?
[Will] Yeah, actually he is.
Hey, Zac.
[Zac] Yo.
No way, oh my God.
I love you guys so much, I just.
[Will] Thank you.
Can I get a selfie Zac, is that okay?
[Zac] Yeah, whatever.
Okay, it's fine.
Amazing, thank you.
[Zac] No worries.
[Announcer] Ladies and
gentlemen, the fort is now closing.
Hope you enjoyed your visit.
Hope to see you again soon.
[Will] Fucking brilliant,
can you believe that?
It's bloody closing, isn't it?
Why don't we just go
back the way we came?
[Will] Yeah, that's a shout, let's go.
[Zac] Worth a try, anyway, huh?
Gotta be a way out somewhere.
[Carly] They won't have
locked all the doors yet.
Keep going?
[Zac] Yeah, all right,
I'm gonna go check this one.
Unbelievable.
[Will] What?
- They're locked?
- Locked.
Not way, oh my god.
[Will] What's the number for this place?
Oh, I'll look it up.
Uh, 01265.
Yep.
[Will] Cool.
Got it?
[Will] I'll put this on speakerphone.
You gotta hear this.
[Announcer] Thank you
for calling Newhaven Fort.
Our open hours are ten a.m. until 5 p.m.,
Monday through Saturday.
We are now closed on Sundays.
Thank you for calling.
We look forward to seeing you soon.
[Will] Fucking brilliant, isn't it?
Okay.
[Will] So it's closed tonight,
and it's fucking closed tomorrow as well.
Will.
[Will] Yeah, man?
Try Abby again.
[Will] Uh, yeah
Take that.
[Zac] Yeah, I got it.
Time to beg.
[Will] Hey, babe, it's me.
Look, I'm really, really sorry
about what happened earlier, truly.
It wasn't my idea.
It was Zac's, and well,
yeah, you know, Zac.
[Zac] Give us a wave.
So, yeah, so we're stuck here,
and was wondering if maybe you could like
come back and collect us,
or I don't know maybe
see if there's any staff.
[Zac] Or maybe that Maggie woman.
[Will] Or someone, I don't know.
Yeah, thanks, just call me back
when you get this, please.
Again, I'm really, really sorry.
Bye, I love you, babe, bye.
(Zac laughs)
Um, look (laughs).
I used to come here all
the time when I was a kid,
and there was a door like maybe that way.
I don't know, uh, might as well try.
What over that way?
Yeah, come on.
[Zac] Lead the way, Daphne.
Definitely a Velma.
Mate, this place is proper grim.
[Will] You said that stuff was bollocks.
Where's this door, then?
It is down there.
[Will] Fuckin', of course it is.
All right, let's go then.
[Carly] You two are such pussies.
Yo, Will.
[Will] Yeah, man.
This is gonna get so many hits, man.
[Will] Yeah, every cloud.
Will, man, this is weird.
[Will] Tell me about it, buddy.
They're gonna lap this shit up.
[Will] They will, man.
Oh, man, check this out.
The tunnel you're about
to enter, though short,
has been the subject
of much strange comment
in recent years.
A number of visitors to this
area of the fort have reported
unexplained sounds, peripheral shadows,
and even more disturbing, report
of a kind of physical force
attempting to push back those
persons entering the tunnel.
Damn.
So, I guess this is the tunnel.
[Will] You wanted ghosts.
You got them, man.
Yeah, no shit.
Let's try it.
(they laugh)
Spooky!
[Will] Oh, man.
What are these things
on the walls, just like?
[Carly] It's down here.
It's just, oh, here it is.
[Zac] Oh, right, cool.
[Carly] That's the next problem.
(Zac knocks)
[Carly] There's a lock on it.
[Will] It's locked?
[Carly] Yeah.
- (Zac knocks)
- Hello?
- Hello.
- Hello, hello.
[Will] Hello?
There's got to be someone, surely.
[Carly] Come on, help, excuse me.
[Will] Anything down here?
All yours, man.
[Will] Let's go.
Hello?
(Zac roars)
- (all laugh)
- [Will] What the fuck?
You wanker, absolute tosser.
Aw, come on, man.
[Will] Just pack it in, yeah?
[Zac] Shut up.
[Will] Yeah.
[Zac] See that?
So what we gonna do, man?
[Will] Don't know, just
wait for Abs, I suppose.
(flashlight clicking)
(clattering)
Fuck, do you hear that?
What the hell was that?
[Will] Brilliant, there
must be someone there.
Come on, let's go.
Hello?
Is someone there?
We've been locked in.
Hello?
[Zac] What is it, man?
[Carly] Hello?
[Zac] The hell is that?
[Will] It's a chair.
This is Abs, isn't it?
[Will] You think?
This is a prank.
It's Abby, it's got to be.
[Will] No, mate, she was
properly fucked off earlier.
[Carly] Look, the
chair came from upstairs,
so I think maybe we
should go and have a look
and see if there's anyone there.
[Will] Yeah, that's a shout.
[Zac] All right.
[Will] Lead the way.
[Announcer] Fort historians
believe maybe the ghost is
notorious Doctor William Jones,
who died in this tunnel in 1892,
but his body was not
discovered for a whole year.
(Zac laughs)
You scared yet, Willy boy?
[Will] What you doing, man?
Huh?
[Will] What you doing?
Just putting out a tweet, man.
Someone might see it and get us out.
Zac.
[Zac] Yo.
Could you do me a massive favour?
Yeah, sure, what's up?
See, I do makeup vlogs,
and will you do me a favour,
if you could just link
my channel on the video
when it goes up, please?
Will, we can do that, right?
[Carly] Thank you.
[Will] It's my channel not your channel.
(Zac mumbles)
[Will] If I remember rightly,
there was an entrance,
like, down this way.
It's worth a go.
[Carly] Yeah.
- Cool.
- Okay.
[Zac] (sighs) Go.
(growling)
[Carly] What the fuck?
Did you hear that?
Well, that was weird.
Spooky.
[Zac] Ah, that's probably nothing.
Come on, let's keep going.
(Will sings spookily)
Woah, check this thing out.
[Carly] What's that doing there?
[Will] No idea.
(Zac laughs)
[Zac] All right, up to freedom, I think.
Woah, woah, woah, woah.
[Will] Woah, what is it, what is it?
The headless soldier.
Maybe he got bored of waiting
and chewed his face off.
[Carly] Go ahead.
Oh, you're kidding.
[Will] Of course.
[Zac] Another locked door
[Will] Look at that, it's getting dark.
[Carly] Oh my god.
Strange!.
Listen.
[Will] What the fuck?
What's that?
(ringing)
I rang Abs.
Mate, that's her ring tone.
[Will] Yeah, that is.
It's this way, come on.
[Zac] It's still ringing.
Now it's stopped, it's stopped.
[Will] God, ring again, ring again.
[Zac] I'm doing it, I'm
doing it, I'm doing it.
[Will] This way.
[Zac] Yeah, straight down.
Abby? Abs?
[Will] Thank fuck for that.
[Zac] Abs.
Abs, we're down here.
Abby, where are you?
Now it's gone.
[Will] Ring again, ring it again.
[Zac] All right, it's ringing.
[Will] Where is it?
(ringing)
[Zac] Will?
(ringing)
It's coming from down there.
[Will] You're right it is.
All right, let's do it.
I'm gonna try again.
It's gone to voice mail.
[Will] Yeah, she hung up on you.
Well, it was that way.
[Will] Yeah, go on.
Lead the way.
This is weird.
It's fucking weird.
I'm not liking it at all.
[Will] Oh, dear.
I just want to lay in bed now.
[Zac] We've been here.
We've already been down here.
What are we doing?
We've gone around in circles, man.
[Will] This is stupid.
It's fucking stupid.
What the?
That wasn't there before.
[Zac] What wasn't?
[Will] That chair,
that wasn't there before.
[Zac] Mate, is that the
one that fell down stairs?
[Will] I don't know,
I mean, it could be.
Who put it there, like, that's just.
It's her, mate.
[Will] Who?
It's Abby.
Come on, think about it.
Her phone's down here.
She isn't, but she fucking with our heads,
and she's brilliant.
Abby?
Dude.
[Will] Yeah?
[Zac] Where's Velma?
[Will] What was her name?
[Zac] I don't know, Carly.
[Will] Carly!
Carly, Carly!
[Will] Carly!
Man, there she is.
- Um, yeah.
- You all right?
I was texting my mum to make sure
that she knows I'm okay.
[Will] There's barely
any reception down here.
You're gonna have to
go back up if you want.
Okay, go.
[Will] You really think it's her?
Of course it is, man.
It's got to be her.
[Will] How's she get
back in here though?
Well, didn't she say she
knew someone that worked here.
[Will] Yeah, Sam, her ex.
Ah, yes, the good-looking
one, who's not a footballer.
[Will] Oh my God.
Oh, text.
(laughs) I told you.
I told you it was her,
man, look, check it out.
[Will] For fuck's sake.
She's just sent that to me.
[Will] This is fucked.
Right, she's down there.
She must be hiding.
[Carly] What?
(chanting music over loudspeaker)
[Will] Woah, what the fuck is that?
Oh man, fair play to her.
This is fucking mental.
No, what is that?
[Will] What is it?
[Carly] Just, have a look, come look.
[Zac] There's a person.
(music chants over loudspeaker)
[Will] What the fuck, mate?
(music chants over loudspeaker)
(they gasp)
- Fuck me.
- Oh my God.
[Will] Fuck.
(Zac gasps)
What the fuck is.
Hey, it's plastic.
[Carly] Oh my God.
[Zac] It's a fucking mannequin.
[Will] A fucking mannequin, Jesus.
(Zac mumbles)
Is Abs in there?
[Carly] Guys, guys, look.
[Will] What is it?
Oh, thank God.
That's all over, mate, look.
She's played it absolute blinder here.
I was scared, I know you
were scared, I was terrified.
[Carly] Oh my God.
[Will] She's done a good
job of that, I tell you what.
[Zac] I tell you what, Carly
lets get a selfie with it.
We'll put it in the video.
[Will] Oh, shit, his leg just moved.
[Zac] Fuck off.
(Will laughs)
Dude, seriously.
[Carly] What now, not now.
[Will] Yeah, he's got something.
Ready?
Abs, you almost got us,
um, nice one, Abs.
(they laugh)
[Will] Good job, Abby.
Woah.
We good?
Any more of Abby's friends about?
(laughs) Yeah, look,
there's loads of them.
[Carly] (Laughs) Oh, god.
[Will] Lovely.
[Zac] Wow.
[Will] God, that will be
you in a few years, mate,
that hairline.
[Zac] This one?
[Will] Yeah (laughs).
[Carly] No one is like
wearing full makeup.
That's like a woman's one.
[Will] Ah.
(Carly laughs)
[Zac] Oh, Will, check it out, look.
[Will] What is it?
YouTuber of the Year award, wa-hay.
(Carly laughs)
[Will] You get a gold star.
[Zac] Jesus, man,
there's more of them, look.
[Carly] Oh my God, it's so creepy.
[Will] Faceless.
[Zac] Faceless freaks.
Jesus.
Oh Christ.
There's a fair few of them in there, man.
That one.
[Will] That's just,
that's just a mess, isn't it?
[Zac] What's gone on with his face?
Look at these two.
Look in there.
[Will] Abs, you can come out now.
Abby.
Oh, fuck's sake.
[Zac] Hey Will, where's the door, man?
Ooh, just look, there's more of them.
[Carly] It's so creepy.
[Will] Abby, you home?
[Zac] Oh, man, this is
fucking scary, look at this.
[Will] Oh, shit.
That is not a pretty site, is it?
Yeah, what is it, man?
What's going on?
Where's Velma?
[Will] Um, don't know, yeah,
she was just back there a second ago.
Man, I'll shit her right up.
[Will] That fucking mask.
[Zac] You love that mask.
How's it look?
[Will] Um, yeah, still
the same knobhead, mate.
(Zac laughs)
[Zac] Oh, Carly.
Where are you?
Hello, mate.
(phone ringtone rings)
[Will] Zac?
Abby's phone's in here.
Come here, mate.
(phone ringtone rings)
Zac?
You there?
What the fuck.
Abby, you can come out now.
Fuck.
What are you doing there?
Zac, mate, you got to
come and see this, mate.
Zac.
Mate, come here.
Carly?
Guys?
What the fuck?
Fuck me.
[Abby] Will!
[Will] Abby?
[Abby] Will!
[Will] This isn't funny any more, Abby.
Abs, come on, you can come out.
[Announcer] (mumbles)
below a tunnel in 1892.
Authorities at the time estimate (mumbles)
brought here after his death.
[Will] Hi, can I get police, please?
Hi, my name's Will.
I'm doing these prank videos
with my girlfriend, Abby,
and we've been locked in,
you know, Fort Newhaven?
Yeah, by the cliff.
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
No, no, this isn't,
no, this isn't a prank.
This isn't a prank.
No, no, I'm serious.
Please believe, like, my girlfriend,
I don't know where she is,
but she was just like screaming my name
a second ago down in the
tunnels or something,
I don't know.
It's really freaking me out.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'm here with my mate, Zac,
and uh, yeah, yeah, him.
Yeah, Zac, and there's this other girl,
Carly, as well.
She's down here, too, but
I don't know where they've gone, man.
In the tunnels or something,
I really just want to go home.
Okay, it's just I've been
stuck here for so long,
and it's just sent me
a bit barmy, you know.
My girlfriend, she left,
like two, three hours ago.
And I just heard her screaming,
like absolutely screaming my name.
40 minutes, are you fucking serious?
I'm stuck in here.
Yeah, man, I know, but.
Yes, no, I'm sorry, it's
just, yeah, I'm sorry.
It's just I'm really fucking scared.
[Carly] Who's that?
[Will] I called police.
[Carly] Why?
[Will] Don't tell me you
didn't hear that screaming?
I'm pretty sure that was Abby.
[Carly] No, really, where?
[Will] I don't really know.
I think it was off and that way.
Why way that is, Abby's there?
[Will] No, but you'll get
a nice little surprise back there.
Oh my God, Jesus.
[Will] Look at that thing?
Oh my God, what the.
Where's Zac?
Zac.
[Will] He'll come back.
He always does.
So do you regret it?
[Will] Do I regret what, sorry?
Bullying Abby?
If that is her screaming.
[Will] I don't bully her, mate.
I think you do.
[Will] I don't bully her.
It's banter for the channel, isn't it.
Anyway, she's fine, all right.
I don't think she is.
I don't think it is exactly banter.
(pipes banging)
Um, that's creepy.
[Will] Abby.
(pipes banging)
Ab.
Abby.
Abs!
Oh crap, it sounded like someone was
hammering something?
Hi, Zac.
Yeah, it's me.
Carly.
Yeah, where are you?
Okay, well, shout and we'll try
and see if we can hear you, hold on.
We can't hear you.
All right, well, why don't you stay there,
and we'll come to you, okay?
[Will] Hang on, let me speak to him.
Oh, sorry, he's gone,
but he's up by the exhibits
and he said he'd wait, so.
[Will] Knobhead.
How'd you know his number?
[Carly] We swapped earlier.
[Will] Of course you did.
[Announcer] (mumbles)
Inspector Edmund Reed
to visit William Jones, as
part of the Jack the Ripper
investigation, after Jones' wife
was found with her abdomen cut open.
Jones never ruled out the suspect
in the Whitechapel Murders
Jack the Ripper.
[Will] Nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope, nope.
Oh my God, it keeps going.
[Will] Abby?
Abby, oh my God.
What the fuck, Abs, you here?
(notification beeps)
What's that?
[Will] Sounded like Zac's.
Really?
[Will] Yeah.
Fuck.
[Carly] Oh my God, okay.
[Will] Zac?
You all right, mate?
[Carly] Oh my God,
these are starting to really creep me out.
[Will] Yeah.
Hello, Zac.
[Carly] What's that?
Who is that?
[Will] That's Zac, what?
[Carly] Seriously?
(mannequin roars)
(Will and Carly scream)
[Will] Oh my God.
(Will pants)
Oh my God, oh my God.
Fuck, fuck, oh my God.
(girl screams)
Police, I need the police.
I called earlier, my name is Will.
I'm up in Fort Newhaven,
and I need you to get here quickly.
Yes, yeah.
Okay, so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, let me explain, okay.
All right.
Okay, so there's this, all right.
My girlfriend Abby, she's
down in the tunnels somewhere,
and she just keeps screaming for me.
I really think something bad
might've happened to her.
Oh, fuck me.
My mate, he's been taken.
I've got a picture of him.
He's been tied up somewhere.
I don't know where he is.
There's this thing down
here that's coming for me.
I don't have a fucking clue what it is.
Man in a mask or something, I don't know.
No, please, can you get here quickly.
Okay, okay, all right, okay.
Please be quick.
Come on, I called them.
For fuck's sake, mate.
Shit, fucking shit.
Come on.
Oh, fuck, shit.
The fuck, oh my, fuck.
Oh my, the fuck.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, fuck.
Oh my God.
Come on, come on.
Oh my God.
Holy shit.
(panting) Oh my God, oh my god.
Please, come on.
(panting)
Fuck, come on.
(panting)
Oh, God.
Help!
Help, I'm in here, someone!
Help!
What the fuck?
Shit, shit, fuck.
Come on.
Oh, fuck.
Oh my God.
Oh my fucking God, come on.
(girl screaming)
Fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, come on.
(panting)
Oh my God (panting).
Abs, no, Abby, Abs.
Oh, fuck, Abby, fuck no.
Oh, God, get off me (screaming).
(happy, old-fashioned music chanting)
(panting)
(happy, old-fashioned music chanting)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(blade sharpening)
(whimpering)
(panting)
(panting)
(whimpering)
(whimpering and begging)
So, I hope you enjoyed my little movie.
Don't forget to leave a
comment, like, and subscribe.
- Fucking assholes.
- What the fuck?
(happy, silly music)
Abby, come back.
Abby, come back.
(upbeat music)
Do you know where the toilets are?
[Abby] Down there by the entrance?
Okay, just meet you in
the cafe in a bit, yeah?
[Abby] Yeah, see you in a bit.
When you're in there,
can you just like grab
a sandwich or something?
[Abby] Yeah, all right, and
Zac, do you want anything?
No, I'm good, thanks, mum.
No, I'm good, man.
(upbeat music)
(Zac roars)
(Abby screams)
[Abby] For fuck's sake, that's it.
I'm done.
[Will] Oh, come on, Ab.
This is perfect, actually.
[Zac] Abs, come on.
[Will] Where you going?
Home, on my own.
(upbeat music)
[Will] Abby, don't be stupid.
Abs, come on.
(Will bangs on door)
Maggie, what a legend.
(upbeat music)
Okay, here we go.
This is for you, Abs.
(Carly screams)
[Will] God.
God, you're Will,
you're Will, oh my God.
I can't believe this, I'm
so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Will] Oh, God, fuck, mate,
you scared the fucking shit out of me.
Sorry, I just, I love your channel,
and hi, I'm sorry, I'm Carly, Carly Baker
[Will] Hey, Carly.
Is, oh my God, is
Abby here, is Abby here?
(upbeat music)
[Will] Don't know, just
wait for Abs, I suppose.
(upbeat music)
(chair clatters)
Fuck me.
What the hell was that?
[Will] Brilliant, there
must be someone there.
Come on, let's go.
(Will and Zac mumbles)
(upbeat music)
I told you.
I told you it was her, man.
Look, check it out.
She just sent that to me.
[Will] This is crazy.
She's down there, hiding.
(happy old-fashioned chanting music)
- Woah.
- Woah.
[Will] What the fuck is that?
Oh man, fair play to her.
This is fucking mental.
[Will] I don't bully her.
It's banter for the channel, isn't it?
Anyway, she's fine, all right.
I don't think she is,
and I don't think it is exactly banter.
(upbeat music)
(pipe banging)
That's creepy.
(upbeat music)
It sounded like someone
was hammering something.
[Will] Help!
Help, I'm in here!
Someone, help!
(upbeat music)
What the fuck.
(upbeat music)
(Abby screams)
Oh fuck, shit (pants).
(upbeat music)
Abs, Abby, Abs.
Oh, oh, Abby (whimpers).
Get off me.
(upbeat music)
(sad guitar music)
(digital music)