Pratfall (2023) Movie Script
1
[]
[cars honking]
Yeah, another wonderful day in New York, yeah?
Beautiful day.
Fucking goddamn right it is.
[jazzy piano music]
I don't know
All the people I see
And I don't even know
The name of the seven seas
But I know
I know your love
Your love
Is important to me
Maybe Nero fiddled
While Rome did burn
I'm not a scholar In Roman history
But I do know
I said I know
Oh I know
Your love
Is important to me
[man harmonizing]
[vendor] Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.
All right.
How you doing?
Good?
Yeah?
What you up to?
Waiting for Gio?
You know him?
Gio? He's usually here.
I don't know if you're waiting for him.
[woman] Nope.
No?
Oh, come on, Mr. and Mrs. Julliard
buying cocaine in the park?
Little yay in the park from Gio?
Huh? No?
I know Gio. I know Gio.
I know him. It's not his name.
I don't know if you know his name or not.
You don't need to know his name.
Doesn't matter. It's best left unsaid.
No, yeah, I just-- I saw you over there.
You looked like a great couple. I thought I'd just come-- come say hi.
-Let you know. -Thanks.
-You look great. -Thanks.
Stellar couple. You look happy.
You look satisfied.
I don't know. Do I look happy or satisfied?
I wouldn't know. I can't see my face.
I can see it on your faces. I can't see it on my face.
Everybody's got a face but me. I got no face.
How about that? How about that?
[dramatic music]
Would you stop?
What-- I'm not going to with them.
Hey, look.
Just keep-- keep it together.
Don't change. Just keep it together.
I'll tell you, things-- things change.
Things happen, circumstances happen.
Events occur.
Things change. People change.
New people coming. New people go.
Old people mostly go, but things happen.
Circumstances happen.
Events occur.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[muttering]
-[water falling] -[distant chatter]
[sighs]
What's going on, Tay?
What's the good word?
I hear you. I hear you.
Silence is golden.
Golden opportunity.
To finally tell me what it is exactly you do for Gio.
[man] Eli, let me talk to you for a second.
-Yeah, all right, Gio. -[Gio] Now.
[Gio] Leave Tay alone.
Forever mum that one, you know?
What's going on?
That little stunt you pulled.
What do you mean? What stunt?
The little stunt you did with those two people.
My two customers. You're fucking with my money.
You understand that?
[Eli] No, I probably saved you money with those guys.
You're fucking with my money.
Don't do that shit again.
You got it?
Eli!
Are we clear?
Don't fuck with my customers again.
All right?
Now get the fuck out of my face.
[dramatic music]
Fuck you.
It was your idea to begin with.
I don't always got the great ideas.
Great ideas.
Have it all figured out.
Everybody's got it figured out.
All figured out. All figured out.
They knew. Way ahead of the game.
All figured out. Look at them go.
Look on my face, look happy, satisfied.
I don't know. I can tell yours do.
Everywhere I look, everywhere I look, everybody's does.
I can see their faces. I can see their faces.
I can see their faces everywhere I look.
I don't know if I'm happy and satisfied.
I can't see my face. People change.
-Can see everybody else's face. -Circumstances happen.
-Everybody else has got face. -Events.
I can tell they're happy and satisfied.
-Events occur. -I can see my face.
Events occur. Circumstances happen.
-People change. -Can't tell.
People come and go.
New people come, new people go.
Old people, they mostly go.
Hold on, buddy. Hold on, buddy.
Hold on, buddy.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[distant chatter]
-Hey, Eli. -Hey, Brenda.
How are you?
Yeah, fine.
-Yeah? -Mm-hm.
Good. You're-- you're feeling okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Um...
I was really sorry to hear about your mom.
She was such a lovely lady.
Yeah. Yeah, she was.
She was, yeah.
That's true.
Especially so soon after Tina.
Yep. Yeah, timing is a real bitch.
Yeah. Yeah, it's hard.
Yeah, yeah. Yes it is.
Okay, you know, I'll catch you later, Brenda, all right?
Okay.
[dramatic piano music]
[dramatic saxophone music]
[crowd applauds]
You think you can play one more?
[dramatic saxophone music]
[sighs]
-There's a face. -[door opens]
Now there's no face.
There's a face.
-Now there's no face. -[door slams]
There's a face.
Tina.
Fuckin' Tina.
[indistinct chatter]
Nice shirt.
[dramatic orchestra music]
She loves New York.
You love New York?
Love it or leave it, that's what I say.
Must be staying. You bought the stupid T-shirt.
So? Love it?
Love New York?
I haven't seen nothing about New York.
-No? -I've been stuck here.
In this park with all the crazies.
And no money in my pocket, so...
Oh.
Are you a crazy one, too?
You know why you're here? In New York alone
with the crazies?
You know why?
It just occurred to me.
It's clear as day now.
It's 'cause nobody loves you.
Nobody loves you.
You understand?
It's obvious to me.
I mean if I don't know nothing, I don't know that.
You know, hey, nobody loves you.
You realize what I'm saying is true.
It's so obvious. Nothing could be clearer. Nobody loves you.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[crowd chatter]
[distant pop music]
Nice shirt.
What the hell? You again?
I'm guessing you're not loving New York.
Yeah, well anyway.
Since it's looks like it's not going so well for you,
you might be thinking you want a new shirt.
Here, you know?
Earlier, I'm sorry.
What the fuck? Who do you think I am?
-You think I'm a prostitute? -Whoa! Hey!
You think that's how I live here?
You think that's how I figure my life?
I'm not any kind of whore or anything.
And for your information, people do love me.
Yeah, I don't need money to make people
having relation with me, you know?
All right, all right, calm down.
Sheesh.
All right.
All right.
I'm gonna go get a hot dog.
And water. You want anything?
No?
All right, suit yourself.
Whatever.
-Have a good day. -All right, cheers.
All right, classic New York City frankfurter.
Every day.
Can't miss it. Can't miss it.
You ever had?
Nothing like it. Nothing like it.
You can go all over the world, you're not gonna find anything like it.
Just the best. Just the best.
Mmm.
You ever had a hot dog in New York?
Huh?
You're missing out, you know?
Too bad, I offered, you know?
That ship has sailed.
The train has left the station.
You know what I mean?
All right, all right.
You know, I'm a forgiving guy, all right?
Here you go.
Here, wash it down.
All right, good luck out here.
What are you doing? What is this?
Nothing. Just going the same direction as you.
Wait, wait, you're going in this direction?
Yeah.
Out of all the directions you could be going,
you're going this way?
Yes, I'm going that way.
Is there anything wrong with that?
Nah, it's a free country. Whatever.
Right.
So what's your name?
Elijah.
-Elijah? -Biblical name.
Yeah, biblical name. Eli for short.
Eli. Most people call me Eli.
Right. Oh, yeah, okay, got it.
That must be El-lee.
-Yeah. -No, it's Eli.
Yeah, I mean it's the same.
It's written the same, it's just the pronunciation.
El-lee in French.
Eli in American, right?
Right.
Yeah, I'm fuckin' I'm an American.
What's your name, Shirt? What do you got?
Unless it's Shirt.
My name is Joelle.
Joel?
No, Joelle.
Joe. Joe.
Yeah, it could be good for Joe.
Joe.
There's this huge tower and it looks like
they don't have done the roof or, I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I think they just gave up.
Oh, yeah?
They call that Billionaire's Row.
They built all those buildings 'cause they wanted
all these billionaires to move in and live
next to each other in their own little
society away from the hoi polloi.
You know what the hoi polloi is?
It's me and you.
Anyway.
I don't know if the billionaires showed up.
So I don't think they bothered finishing the top.
It's a big place.
You can get lost in a place like this.
Right.
You know, Central Park...
it's so big that if you took every human being alive
and you put them in a meat grinder
and ground them all up,
put them into a giant meatball,
it'd fit just inside of Central Park.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah. Yeah, it's a fact.
Oh, my God, I need to pee so bad.
I can't...
Oh, there is a bathroom here.
Hold on one second please!
Wait, what?
Hold on?
What the hell?
No, that's a bad idea!
Because.
I don't think we should have to go over this.
Oh, you waited for me.
Thanks.
Yeah, don't mention it.
Unbelievable.
God you're incredible.
What's wrong with you? Who are you talking to?
Listen, just--
just take it easy, flashy pants.
Hey, come on, let's go somewhere together.
Let's go to a fun place or something.
No, no. There's no fun.
Fun's not a thing.
We're not doing fun.
Fun's a terrible idea.
Could you just show me around?
Come on.
I'd like to see New York. I haven't seen anything.
Please. You seem to be the only person I've met
who knows this place, this city.
Yeah, well, that's not my problem.
Please.
I'm not gonna annoy you. I promise.
You waited for me at this bathroom, so I figured
that maybe you'd be happy to take me someplace.
I don't know.
Is that a yes?
No, it's a terrible idea.
Why?
For a myriad of reasons
that I can't possibly get into now.
You have no idea what it takes to--
to live.
You know, every day you got--
just take my word for it.
You just--
It's preposterous.
I don't care if it's...
hard or whatever.
I just want to see the city.
I want to get out of this park.
Yeah, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
[dramatic orchestra music]
It's--
It's huge! It's like...
Yeah, it's big.
Don't you find it beautiful?
There's more to it than that.
I want to see New York.
-You want to see New York? -Yeah.
-You sure? -I'm sure.
I want to jump into that city.
I just want to...
There's more than what you see right around you right now.
I guess so.
That's why.
Come on!
All right.
Hold on. Come on.
I don't want you to think
that I don't know what you're thinking.
I know exactly what you're thinking.
You're thinking at some point in your life
you had to see this place and know that it exists.
Am I right?
That's exactly what it was?
And then you got here and it turns out
that it does in fact exist.
It very much exists.
And all of your stately voyeuristic pleasures are quelled
in that moment, right?
I don't know, but one sure thing I know.
This place looks awesome.
It's not just awesome.
It's not--
it's not fun. It's not--
there was--
there was a whole time,
there were like eons of human existence.
And this wasn't here.
But somewhere along the line
through a series of events...
it-- it happened, right?
It became this.
And it keeps becoming this.
-Yeah, well. -Well.
You're here to have this fun, this enjoyment.
This thing that makes your heart beat.
But it's not--
it's not--
it's not all good things.
It's filled with bad things.
Very bad things.
I mean, I don't mind seeing the bad things too, you know?
You don't even know what they are!
I mean...
it's part of what the world is.
Good and bad.
I'm signing up for these two things.
You don't know what you're signing up for though.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
That's what I'm trying to explain to you.
You like this?
There's a lot of things that have to happen
on a daily basis.
Every day there's motions, there's turbines.
There's windmills, there's gears.
There's conveyor belts.
There's all these things that have to be in motion every day.
Has to go along with it every day.
There's some things and it can't stop.
'Cause if it stops then
whatever's left, it falls apart.
Do you understand?
So it has to keep going.
And it has to go through these same motions
over and over again.
You understand?
Yeah, well, I do understand.
No, you say that, but I don't think...
You don't even know what that sentence means.
At all.
What do you know?
I'm down for it. Whatever this is, I'm down for it.
I just--
I just want to jump into this with you.
Can you just take me around?
Come on.
I don't know. I just--
it's not for the faint of heart.
So I guess you are a New Yorker
born and raised.
Something like that. Whatever that means.
Do you live nearby?
I'm sure you have a great place.
I mean, area looks amazing.
I would love to see one of these apartments.
They look so New York style.
Is this a place like that you live in?
You know what?
I'm not-- I'm not liking this thing.
This was a bad idea.
I'm kind of getting second thoughts here.
Tell you what, I'll see you around.
Good luck to you.
Come on!
I've been all by myself for days.
I told you that.
Can I just-- can I just hang around with you?
I mean, I...
You don't want to hang around with me.
I'm not doing anything exciting.
Believe me. You don't want to be a part of it.
I'm just doing my daily errands
that I have to take care of, meeting people.
They're boring people.
And I don't even sleep. You don't want any part of that.
You're gonna want to get a good night's rest or whatever, you know?
Trust me, you're not gonna want any part of this.
It's a terrible idea.
So...
no, I don't think so. You know?
Um...
Yeah.
I'm good with no sleep actually.
That's great, that's even-- that's fun.
I mean, I would totally be down for that.
I don't care.
As long as we can stop for a hot dog every five hours,
I'm good, you know?
Come on, I can stick to your schedule.
All right.
The New York lifestyle--
-Can you do me a favor? -Yeah?
Can you stop talking so much?
It's very rude.
I don't know how they do things in France,
but in New York it's considered very rude
and nobody's rude in New York.
I don't know how they do things in France, but it's--
it's very rude to do.
We're not rude here in New York, so you need to know that.
[gentle orchestra music]
Yeah.
All right, well let's go find somewhere to...
We'll rest for a minute, get some coffee, get some fuel.
Get things moving again.
Get back on track.
Get back on the right track.
It's gonna be a voyage.
You gotta have the fuel, right?
This is the fuel. This is the best fuel in the whole city.
That's how it works.
Have you tried many coffee places
to determine that this one is the best one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're everywhere, you know?
A lot of phonies.
This is the spot I go to.
It's never let me down.
It's tried and true.
True blue.
So let's start with this bag.
Oh, my sister made it for me.
She's very crafty, you know?
Oh, you got a sister?
Yeah, I do.
I love this piece.
I carry all my stuff around.
I feel safe with this bag actually.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Yeah. It's good to feel safe.
Right.
You don't carry anything with you, right?
I do not.
I do not. No, hands free.
You never know what you're gonna have to grab.
Or push.
This is what separates us from all the other animals.
-This. Being able to do this. -[phone buzzes]
Excuse me a second.
Hello?
[speaking French]
Everything all right?
Yeah.
It's fine.
You speak French by the way?
-French? -Yeah.
No.
Senseless.
How is the food here?
Oh, the food's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah? -Pancakes are top notch.
[Joelle] No way.
[Eli] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have some sometimes here?
Oh, yeah, yeah. All the time.
All the time. Yeah, I mean, they know me here.
They know me.
They know the kind of things that I like.
Things I care about.
Things that interest me.
You know.
They know me pretty well.
Kinda well.
You know what?
I think I'd like to try some pancakes.
Because I like this place a lot, I think,
you know, it'd be great to have this experience.
To have you experience what this place is.
So if you're in the mood for pancakes,
you should get some pancakes.
I think you'll be a better person for it.
Yeah, we'll get you pancakes.
Thanks.
Maple syrup, right?
Goes all over them, right?
-[Joelle] Yeah? -Pick it up.
Make sure you get the ones on the bottom.
You know?
We'll take this guy out of here for now.
Covered in syrup, right?
Here you go.
Then you put this back 'cause with the butter
and the chocolate and the syrup and everything
it's good to have some semblance of life.
Mmm.
Yeah, that's definitely not as good
as the crepes we have in France for sure.
I've never seen this before.
Everybody I know thinks this is
the best thing on the planet.
I don't understand.
[sneezes]
You dummy.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, everything's fine with me.
I don't know, you're the one that--
what is it, the chocolate? You don't like chocolate?
They don't have chocolate where you're from?
I don't...
It was a sure bet.
You don't have to eat it.
It's fine. Send it back.
I don't know.
What are you looking for? What are you--
what's this?
What is that?
So...
this one is Mr. Lapin.
Mr. Rabbit.
And let's say that
this is the friend I talk to.
Yeah.
Looks like The Velveteen Rabbit.
You know The Velveteen Rabbit?
No.
You don't know The Velveteen Rabbit?
I don't.
Velveteen Rabbit's a story.
It's about a little kid who--
he has a rabbit like yours.
And he loves it a great deal
and he takes it with him wherever he goes.
And one day the kid gets sick.
He gets sick with something.
It's called scarlet fever.
It ravaged the countryside
for-- for centuries.
And the kid, he gets sick with that
and they don't know what to do about this sickness
or how to prevent other people from getting it,
so they take all the things that people
have come in contact with that have that sickness
and then they take all those things
and they have to incinerate them.
You know what incinerate means? It means burn it and destroy it.
They have to take the kid's rabbit away from him,
the thing that he loves most in life,
and they have to incinerate it and burn it.
And destroy it to keep other people from getting sick.
That's the story, The Velveteen Rabbit.
My mom used to read it to me when I was a kid.
Before bed, my mom would read it to me.
That's The Velveteen Rabbit story.
Right.
Well...
mine is in a happy place.
In a safe place.
He won't have to be burned.
Hopefully not, I mean.
I try to keep him safe.
Yeah, I hope for your sake it doesn't get burned.
I hope so.
Seriously, I mean that.
It sounded sarcastic.
I hope it-- I hope it doesn't get burned.
You know what? At some point we get used to it.
Want a bite?
No, I'm all right. Don't want it.
Honestly, you paid for it, so...
You gotta finish them, right?
You paid for it, you can do whatever you want with it.
It's yours.
I don't want to be rude.
The gray-spotted leopard.
Personal favorite of mine.
Oh, yeah, antelope.
[Joelle] Oh, yeah.
"Home On the Range," you know that song?
They have that song in France?
No, what is it again?
"Home On the Range."
Where the deer and the antelope play.
-No, I don't know that song. -No?
-No, I don't. -Classic. Classic.
I think this is the deer that the antelope play with.
-Ooh. -I don't know why they don't have them
together playing right now, but...
I guess they keep them separate.
Literally this one wants to go play.
Look at this guy. Look at him.
He wants to go play with his antelope buddies.
They're not letting him.
Glass. Glass between them.
He's longing-- longing for playing
with his antelope-- his antelope friends.
His buddies.
Yeah, I kind of feel sad for them.
They don't have much air inside.
It's easy to feel sad for them.
But you gotta remember
they got it all figured out, you know?
-The whole family, -Whole family.
Sticking together.
That's good.
Very good.
I like to see the family sticking together.
It's important.
I agree.
Oh, yeah, this is the--
the great Oregon bull.
Well actually, this one looks like my father.
Speaking of family.
-Yeah. -Dad's a bit of a bull?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Yeah.
Angels.
I don't know.
If there is a God...
he's got a lot to answer for.
What are they doing here?
It's kind of a ritual thing that they do on the holidays.
Sometimes they'd be at a party and somebody
would have too much wine or something.
And they'd pass out and fall asleep.
And then as kind of a joke they give you a bath.
Oh, okay.
While you're sleeping.
It's kind of a nice joke.
It's a nice prank.
As far as pranks go, that's a kind prank.
As far as pranks go.
I haven't seen this one before. It might be new.
This might be a new one.
Yeah? You think?
Yeah, I think this must be a new one.
I don't remember that one.
It must be a new one.
She must be a good mother.
Must be a good mother.
Kids.
Being around like that.
Kids like to stay close to their mother.
When they're good mothers, kids like to stay close.
Stick together.
It's a good thing.
It's a good mother.
Kids like to stay close.
Stick together, hang together.
I don't know about these ones, you know?
I think there's better ones.
I think there's better ones in the other spot.
There's better ones.
I'm gonna go see those better ones.
These ones are--
these are-- these are for the birds.
It's no good.
Let's go see better ones.
[dramatic orchestra music]
Did you just kiss that thing?
What is the matter with you?
Nothing. Let's go.
What, you never kiss stuff?
Oh, my God.
-Have you ever actually-- -Wretched!
All right.
I'm going too far again. Sorry.
Do you love me
And I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me long
And kiss me too
All right, let's get to the bathroom now.
I really can't hold it anymore.
[man] Oh, Jesus.
You're back for more, Eli?
Rob. Come on.
Yeah, but none of that shit like before.
One drink and you're out.
You understand that?
All right, take it easy.
I'll just be sitting over here at my spot.
[Rob] What are you guys having?
You have soda?
Whiskey Coke.
[Rob] Just whiskey Coke?
Just the one, Rob. Relax.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Wow.
You brought me to some kind of place, right?
It's...
creepy and in the meantime
that would be the kind of place I would hang in
if I were willing to stare at weirdos and stuff.
Misery.
You know?
Excuse me?
No, no, no, no.
There's no weirdos.
There's no misery.
It's miserable out there. In here, this is a sanctuary.
It's miserable out there. In here, this is a respite from misery.
They have that word in France? Wherever you're from.
Respite? You know what that is?
It means away.
It's separate from--
you know what?
I'm just saying.
There's nothing wrong here.
I have my stuff too, you know?
I have my traumas as well.
I mean, I go sometimes in some
weird places to think about my life.
To try to heal.
I don't judge you here. It's fine.
We all have our stuff to deal with
and we all have the places to--
yeah, to feel better.
You know, I've been through some stuff too.
Don't think you're the only one.
You know, this is-- that's too much.
That's not what I do.
Again, you're gonna have to find someone
to talk to about that type of thing.
You pay somebody here to talk to them.
I don't do that, you understand?
So it's just...
[Rob] Come on, Eli, don't start again.
-Hey! -[Rob] The way you started yesterday.
Come on, what the fuck?
All right, you know?
Just chill out.
Hey, I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to say anything wrong here.
I know, it seems like you can't
stay out of your own way, you know?
Hey, Rob, start a tab for me.
Yeah, and make sure you bring cash.
Hey! El-lee, come on!
I didn't mean to be rude here.
I just--
I don't know, I just felt like sharing.
I thought we could have a conversation.
See, but that's the thing. That's the thing though.
We agreed that you wouldn't even talk.
Let alone bring up the stuff you're bringing up.
Seriously, man, I'm just-- we were just--
I'm sure with a plain tour guy
I could have kind of a conversation.
I'm just trying to have fun here with you.
Is that all right? Is that too much?
Yes! Quite frankly it is.
What's wrong with you? I didn't want to be rude.
Can't you see that?
I'm grateful I'm hanging around with you.
Okay?
And I'm not gonna overshare anymore
if that's what annoys you.
[sirens wailing]
Right, just...
All right.
You promise just to...
[Joelle] Yeah.
Just lay off all that stuff, all right?
Just keep quiet. Just...
-I will. -Can you do that?
Yes I can.
You sure?
I'm sure.
All right, then, you know, we can let this one go then.
Cool.
Water under the bridge.
-Fine. -All right?
-Yeah. -What's done is done.
Yes.
It's in the past. It's in the past. It happened.
I got it, El-lee. Let's move.
All right, all right.
All right.
You like bridges?
I like bridges.
I do, too.
That's one of the things that I wanted to see
when coming to New York.
We don't have that kind of bridges in France.
You don't have bridges in France?
Yeah, we do of course, but not that type.
Not that big.
Oh, you got little bridges?
Yeah. Little bridges.
I don't even know why they built
these two bridges next to each other.
Like...
Well, no, it's because--
no, it's because
the people that were standing over there, they...
[airplane flying overhead]
-They didn't have a bridge. -What?
The people that were standing over there!
They didn't have a bridge!
Those people had a bridge!
These people, they didn't want to walk over to that bridge!
'Cause it's too far, right?
-Right. -So these people over here,
they had a bridge they could walk across.
These people over here were pretty jealous of that.
So they were just standing there
like, "Hey, where's our bridge?"
It's good to have things connected like that.
Build a bridge and cross the bridge.
Bad to burn a bridge.
You know what that is when you burn a bridge?
-You ever heard that? -Yeah, of course I do.
We used to have a lot of wooden bridges in France,
you know, to protect the cities.
So when you have, like, people attacking a city,
the people inside a city would burn
the bridge in order to save them.
In order to prevent the people attacking you
to cross the bridge and come attacking you and kill you.
So they would burn the bridge. Follow me?
I don't know anything about that.
That's not what it means in America.
It means that you don't have a relationship anymore
between these two separate things.
Because how they were connected at one point.
Now that's gone, it's burned.
So there's no connection now between these. That's what it means.
I don't know anything about whatever it was you were saying.
Whatever.
You gotta let yourself dive into the painting, you know?
-Dive in? -Yeah.
Yeah, that's kind of where you lose me.
I don't know.
Diving in?
All right.
That's where you lose me.
[gentle classical music]
This is where they invented television.
[Joelle] Yeah?
Started with a group of puppets.
Initially, but it was very popular.
Very popular show.
And...
they had some toothpaste sponsors that came in,
and it was right around the era when fluoride was being introduced,
so everybody really took to that.
Tuned in for all that kind of thing.
They decided well if we're gonna get into this TV thing
then we gotta build some buildings
right around where we invented the television.
Which was here, Rockefeller Center.
So they built all these buildings
and then they started making TV shows.
In the buildings.
Pretty amazing 'cause TV changed
the world then after that, you know?
All started right here.
Yeah, so this is where the theaters are.
Been around a long time.
Going back to vaudeville.
You know vaudeville?
Yeah, of course I know vaudeville.
You do? You know vaudeville?
Yeah, I do.
Actually saw many in Paris.
Oh.
You have vaudeville in Paris.
Not bad.
So you know like the important things in vaudeville.
Obviously like the timing.
-The rhythm. -The rhythm.
Exactly.
There's very specific skills too.
-Very physical. -Yeah.
The pratfall. You know the pratfall?
-Yeah. -Just fall on your ass.
-[chuckles] Yes. -Without getting hurt of course.
Anyone can fall on their ass and get hurt,
but that was the skill of it.
Everybody kinda had to know that.
It didn't really matter who you were.
It's a very essential skill to have in life.
You have that skill?
Yeah, it's not perfected.
Show me.
I gotta stretch first, you know? I gotta stretch.
It takes a little preparation, you know?
We actually come from this way,
so you sure we are heading the right direction here?
No, no, we came from the other way.
-No. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just took that back here. It's the exact same way.
Your orientation, yeah, your sense of direction.
You don't think I know-- you don't think I know New York?
Not like that you are proper 200% pure blood New Yorker.
What?
No, clearly I am.
Really?
Clearly, you can't--
come on, I mean it's obvious.
The way I do things.
You know?
The way I walk and talk, you know?
Yeah, I may need to know more New Yorkers
to be really able to judge that.
And what is that anyway? People come from all over.
Live in New York. That's what it is.
"Give us your huddled masses,
your poor, your tired, your hungry."
Your...
dreamers.
"Imagine all the people," so on and so forth.
I'd be ready to pay a lot,
a big, big price, a high price,
to see you wearing that kind of t-shirt.
Yeah.
I don't know, it'd have to be a pretty high price.
You know what?
Let's do a bet.
-A bet? -If you lose it,
you wear the same T-shirt as I wear now.
What do I get if I win?
I don't know. You choose.
If I win, you go more than an hour
-without using the bathroom. -[scoffs]
That's not--
is this very fair?
I think I've got the stakes pretty low
for you all things considered here.
Me, I'm the one with my neck on the line
if you're trying to put me in that shirt.
Yeah, all right.
Let's do this.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
All right.
We gotta find the bet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
But we do this.
Okay, shake. We're shaking on it.
I'm gonna win. I'm sure I'm gonna win.
[Eli] So about this bet.
I bet I can hail a cab before you can hail a cab.
I don't think you can even hail a cab.
I don't think you're capable.
-[Joelle] All right. -That'll settle it.
I'm down for that.
Oh, yeah.
Starts now?
-Hmm? -Starting now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the count of three.
One, two, three.
When I hear That rock and roll music
I want to dance, dance, Dance, dance, dance
When I feel The beat I can use it
I want to dance, dance, Dance, dance, dance
Goes right to my head
Right down to my feet
All I want to do is dance
Dance, dance, dance
When I hear The record player playing
Not so easy, huh?
Where's all that Parisian confidence?
Thought it'd be no problem!
[laughs]
I got it!
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
-Oh, my God. -[laughs]
Right down to my feet
All I want to do is dance
Oh come on, El-lee, you look great like that.
Why don't you try to yell a cab now?
Maybe it's gonna come faster I'm sure.
[laughs]
Oh, my God, I feel so stupid.
This is arguably the worst I've ever felt in my life.
Come on.
Are we good? We evened up here?
No, come on, you have to wear it for at least 24 hours.
24 hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I wore the shirt. That's it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's it.
That's it, here's the shirt.
Look good, El-lee.
[chuckles]
-It's a good look on ya. -Oh, yeah?
Sister Joelle of the Upper West Side.
Oh, wow, that could be the name of a Broadway show.
We gotta change the boots I guess now
to match the rest.
Yeah, what do nuns wear anyway? You never see their feet.
You ever think about that?
Their dresses, their smocks or whatever,
they go all the way to the--
you never see a nun's feet really, you know?
Maybe they're barefoot.
Is that why they're so mad all the time?
They take-- they take their sore callouses in their feet...
out on the hands of unsuspecting students with a ruler.
[Joelle laughs]
Sister Catherine!
Put on some flip flops and we can prevent this, you know?
Maybe put on some cowboy boots.
Maybe that's what we need to bring them from America.
Yeah. Some western kick-shitting nuns.
[Joelle laughs]
[players shouting]
Well, good game. Good game.
Yeah, it was cool to watch.
Yeah, you like baseball?
Well we don't have baseball back in France, but...
from what I saw, it is a cool sport.
-America's pastime. -Oh, yeah.
Invented by Mark Twain.
Hey, it's fucking Little Rascals.
This is Tay.
Gio.
I didn't get your name last time.
What was it?
It's Blaze.
Blaze?
These right here, they are the salt of the Earth.
They are the heartbeat...
of New York. They make this city run.
It's incredible.
Some of the finest individuals you could
possibly meet in your entire life.
You can trust them with all of your heart.
You get a newborn baby dog...
you can give it to them.
Not have to worry about a thing.
Smart too. Smart.
He graduated magna cum laude. What was your university?
What was it? Attica State?
Yo, Eli.
You're talking a little too much for me.
Yeah.
Nice meeting your little friend and all,
but I think your time's up.
He's a man of few words,
but everything that he says is elegant.
You are the one making the rules here, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
What's wrong? What's the deal?
What's going on here?
[Joelle] Know what? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like my dogs are barking.
-Your dogs are barking. -Yeah.
And the boots are dying.
The dogs are barking and the boots are dying.
Yeah.
So you're in a very unfortunate situation.
What do you do when your dogs are barking?
You take a load off.
-Take a load off? What does it mean? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You kick back.
Pop a squat.
You mean like you remove them, right?
That's the thing?
[Eli] Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, that's the first step.
Got it, let's move. Yeah.
Got it. It feels better.
-Yeah, you like that better? -Oh yeah.
That comforting feeling of pavement underneath your toes?
No, that's actually comfortable. You should do the same.
Yeah, I'm doing no such thing, I assure you.
Why?
-Come on. -For a plethora of reasons
I can't possibly get into right now.
You're missing something here.
Yeah, I'm happily missing it.
El-lee!
Eli.
Yeah, whatever, they have pizza with pineapple.
You want to grab a slice?
Pizza with a pineapple on it?
I feel like you want to try it, too.
Come on, don't feel guilty about having a pineapple pizza.
No guilt. I'll show you right to it.
So how you feel about this?
Feeling strong?
Still excited?
I'm not so sure anymore.
Wow. That is tough cookies.
You're all in now.
You're invested.
Yeah. That's tough.
You love the pineapple.
You love the juicy sweet fruit of the pineapple...
on the salty pizza.
Okay.
Oh, God.
This is actually good.
Oh, come on.
-I'm not joking here. -No, it's sacrilege. It's sacrilege.
I don't even want it near my face.
This is ridiculous.
You're just jealous of me
enjoying an amazing pizza right here.
Everything about it is terrible.
The texture, the pineapple popping, it's like--
it's like a larvae. Like--
the larvae of the wood nymph
bursting in your mouth, its guts.
-You haven't even tried it. -It doesn't belong together.
You haven't even tried it.
It's whatever that guy in Dante's Inferno
at the seventh level of Hell.
Like that's his only meal that he has.
Every day. That's it.
You're just jealous.
Of my one buck 50 pizza.
I'm jealous. I'm jealous.
Oh, you know what? I can save you the crust if you want.
-Oh, I'm sure you're-- -I'm good, I'm good.
I'm good. Send the crust to Hades with the rest of it.
I'm having the best time of my life here.
Mmm.
I feel like I should be walking ten feet behind you
just so there's no association, you know?
That's just how mortifying this is.
To be in the proximity.
But the wind is throwing the smell over you.
You might be walking towards that direction.
You got a point.
I'll just walk ten feet ahead of you.
Either way, six-one, half dozen the other.
Go ahead.
Lead the way.
Stay back! Stay back!
Too close.
Further!
Further!
Go to Queens.
[upbeat jazz music]
Now this is pizza.
Okay?
Do you see the difference?
Do you notice anything offhand that separates this...
from that monstrosity you were eating earlier?
All right.
-You ready? -Yeah.
It's gonna fall apart on you,
so you gotta fold it together, all right?
Make sure it holds up all right.
Fold it like this. Put the crust together.
There you go. Now it supports itself, see?
Okay, got it.
All right.
You missing the pineapple or are you good?
You were right.
Of course I'm right.
Oh, wow.
Incredible.
The bridges, the buildings,
the tunnels, Broadway.
All of it.
This is the best thing in the entire city.
This is the pinnacle of mankind.
Mankind's creations.
What it has to offer. This right here.
Unbelievable.
Can we put this into it?
Yeah, yeah.
You like it spicy huh?
Yeah.
All right.
Spiciness is for the bold ones.
[Eli] What are you doing?
Writing our names in the wood.
What?
El-lee. Joelle.
It's Eli.
Eli.
E-L-I, Eli.
I got it. It's the same.
It's not the same. There's a big difference.
Looking good.
All the people I see
And I don't even know
The name of the seven seas
We have time. Come on.
-Hey, whoa! -Come on!
We have time to cross!
Follow me!
Come on! Don't be scared!
You see? I'm safe in one piece!
I made it in one piece!
No need to be scared!
[scoffs]
What are you doing? What was that?
You don't even bother looking both ways?
No nothing? Just take off like that?
We had time. It's fine. See, I'm here in one piece.
There's no time. You can't just jump out in the middle
of the street like that. It's ridiculous.
You're gonna get hurt.
I mean...
-It's fine. -It's not fine.
-[Joelle] Come on. -It's not fine.
I thought this was a New York thing. I mean...
What, a New York thing is just getting hit by cars?
That's a New York thing?
You said New York never sleeps.
New York is always in a vibe, in a thing, you know?
So I just felt like...
Yeah, New York never sleeps, it dies, right?
Right.
[dramatic violin music]
Feeling wiped out?
-Yeah. Sure. -Yeah?
Taking its toll?
Yeah.
This coffee stand's great actually.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
I think that it's closed.
You know, it is just a technicality.
I'm sure it'll be open anytime soon.
Yeah, you said the city never sleeps,
but it seems that this guy is sleeping now.
Well, he's not the whole city, you know what I mean?
It's just one guy.
Maybe you're just one guy who never sleeps, too.
Can definitely tell it's loaded with a lot of caffeine.
Here's the payoff. This is it.
[sighs]
Yeah? Yeah?
Bleh.
What?
-You want it? -That is the opposite of the reaction I have.
No, I don't eat donuts.
You don't eat donuts?
I mean, once in a while, yeah. I mean, I like a good donut,
but you know, today's not the day.
It's not part of the routine today.
It's not on the schedule today.
I didn't have it penciled in.
Then it's not gonna be on mine either.
No, you know, in France we have beignet.
It's like a donut, but without the hole inside the middle.
And it's filled with cream or chocolate or marmalade.
Confiture, right?
And it's ten times better.
All right, all right, well, I don't know what to tell you.
You want some delivered?
You want them shipped over?
[chuckles]
-[phone buzzes] -Oh.
Can you hold this for a second?
What's going on?
Yes, yes, yes.
Hello?
[speaking French]
Everything all right?
My sister's worried for me.
I keep telling her she has no reasons to be worried.
That I'm living the best life here, right?
What was that you said to her back there?
I don't know, you said-- it was in French.
Something.
Yeah, tout vas bien?
"Too-va-bee-ya"?
Yeah.
We're improving that accent here.
Yeah?
What is that, "too-va-bee-ya?"
Well, tout vas bien means everything is fine.
Everything is all right.
-"Too-va-bee-ya." -Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Everything is fine.
Everything is all right.
Not bad.
Tout vas bien.
And it's true.
Tout vas bien. Everything is all right.
-Yeah. -I'm one with the universe.
Believing that the planet, the galaxy,
has everything mapped out for us, you know?
Yeah, I don't know about that. I can't...
Anyway...
Can't go down that road with you.
So you didn't tell me.
Have a girlfriend?
Come on.
All right, come on.
Um...
Want to talk about it?
Shy, El-lee?
I don't anymore.
Oh.
She's gone now.
She's gone somewhere else you mean?
Yeah.
You know.
Gone gone.
Sorry.
Yeah, it's all right, you know?
Hey, you good?
You good?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
Tout vas bien?
Tout vas bien.
Tout vas bien.
It's fine.
I want to know
If you love me As I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me boy
And kiss me too
And I want to know
If I'll be yours
Will you be my boy
Well, baby come on
One more time
Love me just one more time
If things could be Like they used to be
When all your love Belonged to me
I wouldn't let The others know
I'm just crying, waiting for you to call
I want to know
Will you hold my hand And cuddle up near
I want to know
Will you say the things
That I want to hear
And I want to know
If I'll be yours Will you be my boy
Well, baby come on
One more time
Let me just one more time
I had your love A long time ago
You told me That our love was strong
Your big words Didn't mean a thing
Because I wouldn't Accept your ring
I want to know
Will you hold my hand And cuddle up near
I want to know
Will you say the things
That I want to hear
And I want to know
You remind me of somebody.
You look just like someone I know.
Spitting image, right?
Doesn't she look just like her?
Tina? Tina Ackerman?
[Gio] Get the fuck out of here, Eli.
You're fucking up my business.
Business? Is that what Tina was?
My Tina was your business?
Is that it?
She was just your fucking business?
She was my heart. Your business?
If she didn't get it from us,
she would've got it from someone else.
Cops are right there.
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna get bagged out here.
You guys are right, though.
She did like the best things in life, you know?
They have the best product in town.
Top notch.
Dope royale.
Gio's not his real name.
Sebastian Garcia.
And this is Nina Popova.
Of Ukrainian descent.
-Sebastian Garcia and Nina Popova! -Let's move, Gio.
Nina Popova and Sebastian Garcia!
What? What's wrong? Nobody could be looking for you, right?
-Eli. -What are you worried about?
I fucking warned you.
You're dead.
You're a dead man walking. You're fucking dead.
Sebastian Garcia, everybody!
Nina Papova! And Blaze!
What are they're afraid of? It's like they're wanted by the law.
Like they're in trouble or something.
Fuck 'em.
I want to know
Do you love me
And I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me long
And kiss me too
And I want to know
If I'll be yours Will you be my boy
Well, baby, come on
One more time
Love me just one more time
You seems to be Like you used to be
What is this all about with Gio?
All right.
Yeah, I'm not a fan.
He's a fucking degenerate.
You know that word?
You know what fucking degenerate is?
That's Gio.
He's the epitome of that.
The archetype of a degenerate.
Good for nothing.
A waste of breath.
The oxygen that other people could be using.
That's Gio.
Aren't you afraid to get in trouble with him?
No, he doesn't--
he barks, you know?
But, nah, he just cares about his money.
That's it. He's not gonna do anything.
I'm sick of this coffee.
I can't take it anymore.
What are you looking for?
I don't know. I just wanted to show you something
that I hope...
make you feel happy and not thinking about this Gio stuff.
See?
That's a good book.
How to Relax.
[chuckles]
That's the kind of thing you want to read
after meeting up with Gio.
Oh, yeah, Thich Nhat Hanh.
-You know that guy? -Buddhism?
Buddhism.
Existence is suffering.
One of the four noble truths.
Existence is suffering.
I've kept record of what you said.
Many times.
I want to bring some stuff back into France.
Want to see my lucky-- my lucky thing?
Is this a conch?
A shell?
A shell, yeah.
Where'd you-- where'd you find this?
-At home. -At home?
Yeah. I live nearby the beach and I just carry it
everywhere with me and I feel like, I don't know.
I don't want to be superstitious or whatever,
but it just feels good to have it.
-Yeah, yeah. -A thing that reminds you of home.
You know this one where you hold it up
to your ear and you hear the ocean?
[Joelle laughs]
Hear the ocean? You ever do that?
You ever try that?
This one is too small.
Too small?
It actually works.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Try it.
It works, really.
Yeah, I can hear the ocean.
Sounds like the ocean.
The ocean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The ocean among the city noisy mess.
You know what? This time I'm gonna pour some milk.
-Maybe it's gonna-- -Oh, yeah.
I'm breaking the rules in here, but...
Cafe Ole.
Right!
All right. Cafe Ole.
You're getting good in French.
[dramatic orchestra music]
I don't know, I've noticed something different about you.
About me?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, there is something different.
No, I've been doing the same thing day after day.
Nothing's changed.
I know, it's not about that.
It's more that...
you've changed.
You don't do that thing anymore.
That...
you know?
What thing?
I don't know.
Like when you were agitated.
[sighs]
No, I mean it happens.
It's been happening. I don't know, maybe you haven't seen it,
I don't know, but, yeah, no, it's been happening.
But that's cool. I'm not saying this is bad or wrong.
I just feel like...
you look...
chill.
[sirens in distance]
I don't know.
It still happens, I don't know.
-Yeah, I'm just saying-- -That's a weird thing you observed.
I don't know why you would notice that or point that out.
It's a very-- a very strange thing for you to...
acknowledge.
I'm very observant.
You know what?
[speaks French]
What the hell does that mean?
My feet are marmalade right now.
[speaks French]
Duck Con-fit.
Yeah. Ture.
Duck l'orange.
Duck Con-fit.
[Joelle laughs]
Okay, got it.
Canard L'orange, Canard Confit.
Okay, now what you would need to learn if one day
you go to France is to order a croissant.
-So you would say... -Croissant.
Yeah, you would need to say
"Can I have a croissant," which is...
Je peux avoir un croissant.
"Je-pay-con croissant?"
Yeah. Je peux avoir un croissant.
"Je-pay-agua croissant."
-You got it. -[cars honking]
Yay!
Whoo!
[Joelle laughs]
That's a hell of a routine here.
It's something.
-You see what I'm saying though. - Yeah.
It's just one that can't happen, but if there's two--
Two or more I guess, like, whatever.
Yeah, no, I guess you're right.
Hey, you know what? Let's pick it up.
-Let's pick it up a little bit. -What? Why?
Yeah, just, the train's right here.
We should get on the train.
Are we late for something?
Yeah, sure. Just-- let's move it.
All right.
[gasps] No, no, no, no! No!
What the fuck?
What the fuck was that?
Man.
That was crazy.
That was wild, wasn't it?
-Yeah. -Geez, you all right?
I am a little shaken up myself.
That was insane.
[breathing heavily]
You all right? What's up?
-Yeah, I'm all right. -What's happening?
-I'm all right. -You good?
-Yeah, I'm good. -Joe, what's going on?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did that just happen?
Joe, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
No, no, no.
-It's nothing. -No, no, no. I know where to go.
I know where to go. I know the place.
I know all the places. I can help you.
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.
[train rattling]
Come on, come on, come on. Yeah, yup.
I'm good, El-lee.
I know, yeah, you're good, you're good.
-It's gonna be fine. -It's gonna be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get to the place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yup.
Yup.
-We're good. -Everything is fine, right?
Yes, everything is fine.
Everything is absolutely fine.
[voice on PA] NYPD reminding everyone
if you see something, say something.
We're on a schedule here. Yes, exactly.
Got things to do, places to be, places to go.
-Exactly. -You know what I'm saying?
-It's a routine. -We got a routine.
There we go, I see the light. See the light?
-See the light? -Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's coming, all right? I know where to go.
Next-- next place is safe. Next place is safe.
We're on the same page. We're going to the place, all right?
Know how I know the place? Know how I know the place?
I know a good place. I know all the places, right?
That's where we're going. We're going to the right place.
We're going to the right place.
All right?
You with me?
Yeah?
[Joelle mutters]
Tout vas bien.
[announcer] 69th Street, Columbus Circle.
Tout vas bien, El-lee. Tout vas bien.
Tout vas bien, Eli.
[train rattling]
[announcer] This is 50th Street.
[passenger] Um, excuse me.
[announcer speaking indistinctly]
[whimpers]
[breathing heavy]
[dramatic orchestra music]
[whimpers]
-[distant sax music] -[crowd chatter]
[birds chirping]
[dramatic violin music]
[dramatic piano music]
[dramatic orchestra music]
[music continues]
[]
[cars honking]
Yeah, another wonderful day in New York, yeah?
Beautiful day.
Fucking goddamn right it is.
[jazzy piano music]
I don't know
All the people I see
And I don't even know
The name of the seven seas
But I know
I know your love
Your love
Is important to me
Maybe Nero fiddled
While Rome did burn
I'm not a scholar In Roman history
But I do know
I said I know
Oh I know
Your love
Is important to me
[man harmonizing]
[vendor] Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.
All right.
How you doing?
Good?
Yeah?
What you up to?
Waiting for Gio?
You know him?
Gio? He's usually here.
I don't know if you're waiting for him.
[woman] Nope.
No?
Oh, come on, Mr. and Mrs. Julliard
buying cocaine in the park?
Little yay in the park from Gio?
Huh? No?
I know Gio. I know Gio.
I know him. It's not his name.
I don't know if you know his name or not.
You don't need to know his name.
Doesn't matter. It's best left unsaid.
No, yeah, I just-- I saw you over there.
You looked like a great couple. I thought I'd just come-- come say hi.
-Let you know. -Thanks.
-You look great. -Thanks.
Stellar couple. You look happy.
You look satisfied.
I don't know. Do I look happy or satisfied?
I wouldn't know. I can't see my face.
I can see it on your faces. I can't see it on my face.
Everybody's got a face but me. I got no face.
How about that? How about that?
[dramatic music]
Would you stop?
What-- I'm not going to with them.
Hey, look.
Just keep-- keep it together.
Don't change. Just keep it together.
I'll tell you, things-- things change.
Things happen, circumstances happen.
Events occur.
Things change. People change.
New people coming. New people go.
Old people mostly go, but things happen.
Circumstances happen.
Events occur.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[muttering]
-[water falling] -[distant chatter]
[sighs]
What's going on, Tay?
What's the good word?
I hear you. I hear you.
Silence is golden.
Golden opportunity.
To finally tell me what it is exactly you do for Gio.
[man] Eli, let me talk to you for a second.
-Yeah, all right, Gio. -[Gio] Now.
[Gio] Leave Tay alone.
Forever mum that one, you know?
What's going on?
That little stunt you pulled.
What do you mean? What stunt?
The little stunt you did with those two people.
My two customers. You're fucking with my money.
You understand that?
[Eli] No, I probably saved you money with those guys.
You're fucking with my money.
Don't do that shit again.
You got it?
Eli!
Are we clear?
Don't fuck with my customers again.
All right?
Now get the fuck out of my face.
[dramatic music]
Fuck you.
It was your idea to begin with.
I don't always got the great ideas.
Great ideas.
Have it all figured out.
Everybody's got it figured out.
All figured out. All figured out.
They knew. Way ahead of the game.
All figured out. Look at them go.
Look on my face, look happy, satisfied.
I don't know. I can tell yours do.
Everywhere I look, everywhere I look, everybody's does.
I can see their faces. I can see their faces.
I can see their faces everywhere I look.
I don't know if I'm happy and satisfied.
I can't see my face. People change.
-Can see everybody else's face. -Circumstances happen.
-Everybody else has got face. -Events.
I can tell they're happy and satisfied.
-Events occur. -I can see my face.
Events occur. Circumstances happen.
-People change. -Can't tell.
People come and go.
New people come, new people go.
Old people, they mostly go.
Hold on, buddy. Hold on, buddy.
Hold on, buddy.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[distant chatter]
-Hey, Eli. -Hey, Brenda.
How are you?
Yeah, fine.
-Yeah? -Mm-hm.
Good. You're-- you're feeling okay?
Yeah. Yeah.
Um...
I was really sorry to hear about your mom.
She was such a lovely lady.
Yeah. Yeah, she was.
She was, yeah.
That's true.
Especially so soon after Tina.
Yep. Yeah, timing is a real bitch.
Yeah. Yeah, it's hard.
Yeah, yeah. Yes it is.
Okay, you know, I'll catch you later, Brenda, all right?
Okay.
[dramatic piano music]
[dramatic saxophone music]
[crowd applauds]
You think you can play one more?
[dramatic saxophone music]
[sighs]
-There's a face. -[door opens]
Now there's no face.
There's a face.
-Now there's no face. -[door slams]
There's a face.
Tina.
Fuckin' Tina.
[indistinct chatter]
Nice shirt.
[dramatic orchestra music]
She loves New York.
You love New York?
Love it or leave it, that's what I say.
Must be staying. You bought the stupid T-shirt.
So? Love it?
Love New York?
I haven't seen nothing about New York.
-No? -I've been stuck here.
In this park with all the crazies.
And no money in my pocket, so...
Oh.
Are you a crazy one, too?
You know why you're here? In New York alone
with the crazies?
You know why?
It just occurred to me.
It's clear as day now.
It's 'cause nobody loves you.
Nobody loves you.
You understand?
It's obvious to me.
I mean if I don't know nothing, I don't know that.
You know, hey, nobody loves you.
You realize what I'm saying is true.
It's so obvious. Nothing could be clearer. Nobody loves you.
[dramatic orchestra music]
[crowd chatter]
[distant pop music]
Nice shirt.
What the hell? You again?
I'm guessing you're not loving New York.
Yeah, well anyway.
Since it's looks like it's not going so well for you,
you might be thinking you want a new shirt.
Here, you know?
Earlier, I'm sorry.
What the fuck? Who do you think I am?
-You think I'm a prostitute? -Whoa! Hey!
You think that's how I live here?
You think that's how I figure my life?
I'm not any kind of whore or anything.
And for your information, people do love me.
Yeah, I don't need money to make people
having relation with me, you know?
All right, all right, calm down.
Sheesh.
All right.
All right.
I'm gonna go get a hot dog.
And water. You want anything?
No?
All right, suit yourself.
Whatever.
-Have a good day. -All right, cheers.
All right, classic New York City frankfurter.
Every day.
Can't miss it. Can't miss it.
You ever had?
Nothing like it. Nothing like it.
You can go all over the world, you're not gonna find anything like it.
Just the best. Just the best.
Mmm.
You ever had a hot dog in New York?
Huh?
You're missing out, you know?
Too bad, I offered, you know?
That ship has sailed.
The train has left the station.
You know what I mean?
All right, all right.
You know, I'm a forgiving guy, all right?
Here you go.
Here, wash it down.
All right, good luck out here.
What are you doing? What is this?
Nothing. Just going the same direction as you.
Wait, wait, you're going in this direction?
Yeah.
Out of all the directions you could be going,
you're going this way?
Yes, I'm going that way.
Is there anything wrong with that?
Nah, it's a free country. Whatever.
Right.
So what's your name?
Elijah.
-Elijah? -Biblical name.
Yeah, biblical name. Eli for short.
Eli. Most people call me Eli.
Right. Oh, yeah, okay, got it.
That must be El-lee.
-Yeah. -No, it's Eli.
Yeah, I mean it's the same.
It's written the same, it's just the pronunciation.
El-lee in French.
Eli in American, right?
Right.
Yeah, I'm fuckin' I'm an American.
What's your name, Shirt? What do you got?
Unless it's Shirt.
My name is Joelle.
Joel?
No, Joelle.
Joe. Joe.
Yeah, it could be good for Joe.
Joe.
There's this huge tower and it looks like
they don't have done the roof or, I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I think they just gave up.
Oh, yeah?
They call that Billionaire's Row.
They built all those buildings 'cause they wanted
all these billionaires to move in and live
next to each other in their own little
society away from the hoi polloi.
You know what the hoi polloi is?
It's me and you.
Anyway.
I don't know if the billionaires showed up.
So I don't think they bothered finishing the top.
It's a big place.
You can get lost in a place like this.
Right.
You know, Central Park...
it's so big that if you took every human being alive
and you put them in a meat grinder
and ground them all up,
put them into a giant meatball,
it'd fit just inside of Central Park.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah. Yeah, it's a fact.
Oh, my God, I need to pee so bad.
I can't...
Oh, there is a bathroom here.
Hold on one second please!
Wait, what?
Hold on?
What the hell?
No, that's a bad idea!
Because.
I don't think we should have to go over this.
Oh, you waited for me.
Thanks.
Yeah, don't mention it.
Unbelievable.
God you're incredible.
What's wrong with you? Who are you talking to?
Listen, just--
just take it easy, flashy pants.
Hey, come on, let's go somewhere together.
Let's go to a fun place or something.
No, no. There's no fun.
Fun's not a thing.
We're not doing fun.
Fun's a terrible idea.
Could you just show me around?
Come on.
I'd like to see New York. I haven't seen anything.
Please. You seem to be the only person I've met
who knows this place, this city.
Yeah, well, that's not my problem.
Please.
I'm not gonna annoy you. I promise.
You waited for me at this bathroom, so I figured
that maybe you'd be happy to take me someplace.
I don't know.
Is that a yes?
No, it's a terrible idea.
Why?
For a myriad of reasons
that I can't possibly get into now.
You have no idea what it takes to--
to live.
You know, every day you got--
just take my word for it.
You just--
It's preposterous.
I don't care if it's...
hard or whatever.
I just want to see the city.
I want to get out of this park.
Yeah, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
[dramatic orchestra music]
It's--
It's huge! It's like...
Yeah, it's big.
Don't you find it beautiful?
There's more to it than that.
I want to see New York.
-You want to see New York? -Yeah.
-You sure? -I'm sure.
I want to jump into that city.
I just want to...
There's more than what you see right around you right now.
I guess so.
That's why.
Come on!
All right.
Hold on. Come on.
I don't want you to think
that I don't know what you're thinking.
I know exactly what you're thinking.
You're thinking at some point in your life
you had to see this place and know that it exists.
Am I right?
That's exactly what it was?
And then you got here and it turns out
that it does in fact exist.
It very much exists.
And all of your stately voyeuristic pleasures are quelled
in that moment, right?
I don't know, but one sure thing I know.
This place looks awesome.
It's not just awesome.
It's not--
it's not fun. It's not--
there was--
there was a whole time,
there were like eons of human existence.
And this wasn't here.
But somewhere along the line
through a series of events...
it-- it happened, right?
It became this.
And it keeps becoming this.
-Yeah, well. -Well.
You're here to have this fun, this enjoyment.
This thing that makes your heart beat.
But it's not--
it's not--
it's not all good things.
It's filled with bad things.
Very bad things.
I mean, I don't mind seeing the bad things too, you know?
You don't even know what they are!
I mean...
it's part of what the world is.
Good and bad.
I'm signing up for these two things.
You don't know what you're signing up for though.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
That's what I'm trying to explain to you.
You like this?
There's a lot of things that have to happen
on a daily basis.
Every day there's motions, there's turbines.
There's windmills, there's gears.
There's conveyor belts.
There's all these things that have to be in motion every day.
Has to go along with it every day.
There's some things and it can't stop.
'Cause if it stops then
whatever's left, it falls apart.
Do you understand?
So it has to keep going.
And it has to go through these same motions
over and over again.
You understand?
Yeah, well, I do understand.
No, you say that, but I don't think...
You don't even know what that sentence means.
At all.
What do you know?
I'm down for it. Whatever this is, I'm down for it.
I just--
I just want to jump into this with you.
Can you just take me around?
Come on.
I don't know. I just--
it's not for the faint of heart.
So I guess you are a New Yorker
born and raised.
Something like that. Whatever that means.
Do you live nearby?
I'm sure you have a great place.
I mean, area looks amazing.
I would love to see one of these apartments.
They look so New York style.
Is this a place like that you live in?
You know what?
I'm not-- I'm not liking this thing.
This was a bad idea.
I'm kind of getting second thoughts here.
Tell you what, I'll see you around.
Good luck to you.
Come on!
I've been all by myself for days.
I told you that.
Can I just-- can I just hang around with you?
I mean, I...
You don't want to hang around with me.
I'm not doing anything exciting.
Believe me. You don't want to be a part of it.
I'm just doing my daily errands
that I have to take care of, meeting people.
They're boring people.
And I don't even sleep. You don't want any part of that.
You're gonna want to get a good night's rest or whatever, you know?
Trust me, you're not gonna want any part of this.
It's a terrible idea.
So...
no, I don't think so. You know?
Um...
Yeah.
I'm good with no sleep actually.
That's great, that's even-- that's fun.
I mean, I would totally be down for that.
I don't care.
As long as we can stop for a hot dog every five hours,
I'm good, you know?
Come on, I can stick to your schedule.
All right.
The New York lifestyle--
-Can you do me a favor? -Yeah?
Can you stop talking so much?
It's very rude.
I don't know how they do things in France,
but in New York it's considered very rude
and nobody's rude in New York.
I don't know how they do things in France, but it's--
it's very rude to do.
We're not rude here in New York, so you need to know that.
[gentle orchestra music]
Yeah.
All right, well let's go find somewhere to...
We'll rest for a minute, get some coffee, get some fuel.
Get things moving again.
Get back on track.
Get back on the right track.
It's gonna be a voyage.
You gotta have the fuel, right?
This is the fuel. This is the best fuel in the whole city.
That's how it works.
Have you tried many coffee places
to determine that this one is the best one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're everywhere, you know?
A lot of phonies.
This is the spot I go to.
It's never let me down.
It's tried and true.
True blue.
So let's start with this bag.
Oh, my sister made it for me.
She's very crafty, you know?
Oh, you got a sister?
Yeah, I do.
I love this piece.
I carry all my stuff around.
I feel safe with this bag actually.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Yeah. It's good to feel safe.
Right.
You don't carry anything with you, right?
I do not.
I do not. No, hands free.
You never know what you're gonna have to grab.
Or push.
This is what separates us from all the other animals.
-This. Being able to do this. -[phone buzzes]
Excuse me a second.
Hello?
[speaking French]
Everything all right?
Yeah.
It's fine.
You speak French by the way?
-French? -Yeah.
No.
Senseless.
How is the food here?
Oh, the food's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah? -Pancakes are top notch.
[Joelle] No way.
[Eli] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have some sometimes here?
Oh, yeah, yeah. All the time.
All the time. Yeah, I mean, they know me here.
They know me.
They know the kind of things that I like.
Things I care about.
Things that interest me.
You know.
They know me pretty well.
Kinda well.
You know what?
I think I'd like to try some pancakes.
Because I like this place a lot, I think,
you know, it'd be great to have this experience.
To have you experience what this place is.
So if you're in the mood for pancakes,
you should get some pancakes.
I think you'll be a better person for it.
Yeah, we'll get you pancakes.
Thanks.
Maple syrup, right?
Goes all over them, right?
-[Joelle] Yeah? -Pick it up.
Make sure you get the ones on the bottom.
You know?
We'll take this guy out of here for now.
Covered in syrup, right?
Here you go.
Then you put this back 'cause with the butter
and the chocolate and the syrup and everything
it's good to have some semblance of life.
Mmm.
Yeah, that's definitely not as good
as the crepes we have in France for sure.
I've never seen this before.
Everybody I know thinks this is
the best thing on the planet.
I don't understand.
[sneezes]
You dummy.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, everything's fine with me.
I don't know, you're the one that--
what is it, the chocolate? You don't like chocolate?
They don't have chocolate where you're from?
I don't...
It was a sure bet.
You don't have to eat it.
It's fine. Send it back.
I don't know.
What are you looking for? What are you--
what's this?
What is that?
So...
this one is Mr. Lapin.
Mr. Rabbit.
And let's say that
this is the friend I talk to.
Yeah.
Looks like The Velveteen Rabbit.
You know The Velveteen Rabbit?
No.
You don't know The Velveteen Rabbit?
I don't.
Velveteen Rabbit's a story.
It's about a little kid who--
he has a rabbit like yours.
And he loves it a great deal
and he takes it with him wherever he goes.
And one day the kid gets sick.
He gets sick with something.
It's called scarlet fever.
It ravaged the countryside
for-- for centuries.
And the kid, he gets sick with that
and they don't know what to do about this sickness
or how to prevent other people from getting it,
so they take all the things that people
have come in contact with that have that sickness
and then they take all those things
and they have to incinerate them.
You know what incinerate means? It means burn it and destroy it.
They have to take the kid's rabbit away from him,
the thing that he loves most in life,
and they have to incinerate it and burn it.
And destroy it to keep other people from getting sick.
That's the story, The Velveteen Rabbit.
My mom used to read it to me when I was a kid.
Before bed, my mom would read it to me.
That's The Velveteen Rabbit story.
Right.
Well...
mine is in a happy place.
In a safe place.
He won't have to be burned.
Hopefully not, I mean.
I try to keep him safe.
Yeah, I hope for your sake it doesn't get burned.
I hope so.
Seriously, I mean that.
It sounded sarcastic.
I hope it-- I hope it doesn't get burned.
You know what? At some point we get used to it.
Want a bite?
No, I'm all right. Don't want it.
Honestly, you paid for it, so...
You gotta finish them, right?
You paid for it, you can do whatever you want with it.
It's yours.
I don't want to be rude.
The gray-spotted leopard.
Personal favorite of mine.
Oh, yeah, antelope.
[Joelle] Oh, yeah.
"Home On the Range," you know that song?
They have that song in France?
No, what is it again?
"Home On the Range."
Where the deer and the antelope play.
-No, I don't know that song. -No?
-No, I don't. -Classic. Classic.
I think this is the deer that the antelope play with.
-Ooh. -I don't know why they don't have them
together playing right now, but...
I guess they keep them separate.
Literally this one wants to go play.
Look at this guy. Look at him.
He wants to go play with his antelope buddies.
They're not letting him.
Glass. Glass between them.
He's longing-- longing for playing
with his antelope-- his antelope friends.
His buddies.
Yeah, I kind of feel sad for them.
They don't have much air inside.
It's easy to feel sad for them.
But you gotta remember
they got it all figured out, you know?
-The whole family, -Whole family.
Sticking together.
That's good.
Very good.
I like to see the family sticking together.
It's important.
I agree.
Oh, yeah, this is the--
the great Oregon bull.
Well actually, this one looks like my father.
Speaking of family.
-Yeah. -Dad's a bit of a bull?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Yeah.
Angels.
I don't know.
If there is a God...
he's got a lot to answer for.
What are they doing here?
It's kind of a ritual thing that they do on the holidays.
Sometimes they'd be at a party and somebody
would have too much wine or something.
And they'd pass out and fall asleep.
And then as kind of a joke they give you a bath.
Oh, okay.
While you're sleeping.
It's kind of a nice joke.
It's a nice prank.
As far as pranks go, that's a kind prank.
As far as pranks go.
I haven't seen this one before. It might be new.
This might be a new one.
Yeah? You think?
Yeah, I think this must be a new one.
I don't remember that one.
It must be a new one.
She must be a good mother.
Must be a good mother.
Kids.
Being around like that.
Kids like to stay close to their mother.
When they're good mothers, kids like to stay close.
Stick together.
It's a good thing.
It's a good mother.
Kids like to stay close.
Stick together, hang together.
I don't know about these ones, you know?
I think there's better ones.
I think there's better ones in the other spot.
There's better ones.
I'm gonna go see those better ones.
These ones are--
these are-- these are for the birds.
It's no good.
Let's go see better ones.
[dramatic orchestra music]
Did you just kiss that thing?
What is the matter with you?
Nothing. Let's go.
What, you never kiss stuff?
Oh, my God.
-Have you ever actually-- -Wretched!
All right.
I'm going too far again. Sorry.
Do you love me
And I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me long
And kiss me too
All right, let's get to the bathroom now.
I really can't hold it anymore.
[man] Oh, Jesus.
You're back for more, Eli?
Rob. Come on.
Yeah, but none of that shit like before.
One drink and you're out.
You understand that?
All right, take it easy.
I'll just be sitting over here at my spot.
[Rob] What are you guys having?
You have soda?
Whiskey Coke.
[Rob] Just whiskey Coke?
Just the one, Rob. Relax.
-Cheers. -Cheers.
Wow.
You brought me to some kind of place, right?
It's...
creepy and in the meantime
that would be the kind of place I would hang in
if I were willing to stare at weirdos and stuff.
Misery.
You know?
Excuse me?
No, no, no, no.
There's no weirdos.
There's no misery.
It's miserable out there. In here, this is a sanctuary.
It's miserable out there. In here, this is a respite from misery.
They have that word in France? Wherever you're from.
Respite? You know what that is?
It means away.
It's separate from--
you know what?
I'm just saying.
There's nothing wrong here.
I have my stuff too, you know?
I have my traumas as well.
I mean, I go sometimes in some
weird places to think about my life.
To try to heal.
I don't judge you here. It's fine.
We all have our stuff to deal with
and we all have the places to--
yeah, to feel better.
You know, I've been through some stuff too.
Don't think you're the only one.
You know, this is-- that's too much.
That's not what I do.
Again, you're gonna have to find someone
to talk to about that type of thing.
You pay somebody here to talk to them.
I don't do that, you understand?
So it's just...
[Rob] Come on, Eli, don't start again.
-Hey! -[Rob] The way you started yesterday.
Come on, what the fuck?
All right, you know?
Just chill out.
Hey, I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to say anything wrong here.
I know, it seems like you can't
stay out of your own way, you know?
Hey, Rob, start a tab for me.
Yeah, and make sure you bring cash.
Hey! El-lee, come on!
I didn't mean to be rude here.
I just--
I don't know, I just felt like sharing.
I thought we could have a conversation.
See, but that's the thing. That's the thing though.
We agreed that you wouldn't even talk.
Let alone bring up the stuff you're bringing up.
Seriously, man, I'm just-- we were just--
I'm sure with a plain tour guy
I could have kind of a conversation.
I'm just trying to have fun here with you.
Is that all right? Is that too much?
Yes! Quite frankly it is.
What's wrong with you? I didn't want to be rude.
Can't you see that?
I'm grateful I'm hanging around with you.
Okay?
And I'm not gonna overshare anymore
if that's what annoys you.
[sirens wailing]
Right, just...
All right.
You promise just to...
[Joelle] Yeah.
Just lay off all that stuff, all right?
Just keep quiet. Just...
-I will. -Can you do that?
Yes I can.
You sure?
I'm sure.
All right, then, you know, we can let this one go then.
Cool.
Water under the bridge.
-Fine. -All right?
-Yeah. -What's done is done.
Yes.
It's in the past. It's in the past. It happened.
I got it, El-lee. Let's move.
All right, all right.
All right.
You like bridges?
I like bridges.
I do, too.
That's one of the things that I wanted to see
when coming to New York.
We don't have that kind of bridges in France.
You don't have bridges in France?
Yeah, we do of course, but not that type.
Not that big.
Oh, you got little bridges?
Yeah. Little bridges.
I don't even know why they built
these two bridges next to each other.
Like...
Well, no, it's because--
no, it's because
the people that were standing over there, they...
[airplane flying overhead]
-They didn't have a bridge. -What?
The people that were standing over there!
They didn't have a bridge!
Those people had a bridge!
These people, they didn't want to walk over to that bridge!
'Cause it's too far, right?
-Right. -So these people over here,
they had a bridge they could walk across.
These people over here were pretty jealous of that.
So they were just standing there
like, "Hey, where's our bridge?"
It's good to have things connected like that.
Build a bridge and cross the bridge.
Bad to burn a bridge.
You know what that is when you burn a bridge?
-You ever heard that? -Yeah, of course I do.
We used to have a lot of wooden bridges in France,
you know, to protect the cities.
So when you have, like, people attacking a city,
the people inside a city would burn
the bridge in order to save them.
In order to prevent the people attacking you
to cross the bridge and come attacking you and kill you.
So they would burn the bridge. Follow me?
I don't know anything about that.
That's not what it means in America.
It means that you don't have a relationship anymore
between these two separate things.
Because how they were connected at one point.
Now that's gone, it's burned.
So there's no connection now between these. That's what it means.
I don't know anything about whatever it was you were saying.
Whatever.
You gotta let yourself dive into the painting, you know?
-Dive in? -Yeah.
Yeah, that's kind of where you lose me.
I don't know.
Diving in?
All right.
That's where you lose me.
[gentle classical music]
This is where they invented television.
[Joelle] Yeah?
Started with a group of puppets.
Initially, but it was very popular.
Very popular show.
And...
they had some toothpaste sponsors that came in,
and it was right around the era when fluoride was being introduced,
so everybody really took to that.
Tuned in for all that kind of thing.
They decided well if we're gonna get into this TV thing
then we gotta build some buildings
right around where we invented the television.
Which was here, Rockefeller Center.
So they built all these buildings
and then they started making TV shows.
In the buildings.
Pretty amazing 'cause TV changed
the world then after that, you know?
All started right here.
Yeah, so this is where the theaters are.
Been around a long time.
Going back to vaudeville.
You know vaudeville?
Yeah, of course I know vaudeville.
You do? You know vaudeville?
Yeah, I do.
Actually saw many in Paris.
Oh.
You have vaudeville in Paris.
Not bad.
So you know like the important things in vaudeville.
Obviously like the timing.
-The rhythm. -The rhythm.
Exactly.
There's very specific skills too.
-Very physical. -Yeah.
The pratfall. You know the pratfall?
-Yeah. -Just fall on your ass.
-[chuckles] Yes. -Without getting hurt of course.
Anyone can fall on their ass and get hurt,
but that was the skill of it.
Everybody kinda had to know that.
It didn't really matter who you were.
It's a very essential skill to have in life.
You have that skill?
Yeah, it's not perfected.
Show me.
I gotta stretch first, you know? I gotta stretch.
It takes a little preparation, you know?
We actually come from this way,
so you sure we are heading the right direction here?
No, no, we came from the other way.
-No. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just took that back here. It's the exact same way.
Your orientation, yeah, your sense of direction.
You don't think I know-- you don't think I know New York?
Not like that you are proper 200% pure blood New Yorker.
What?
No, clearly I am.
Really?
Clearly, you can't--
come on, I mean it's obvious.
The way I do things.
You know?
The way I walk and talk, you know?
Yeah, I may need to know more New Yorkers
to be really able to judge that.
And what is that anyway? People come from all over.
Live in New York. That's what it is.
"Give us your huddled masses,
your poor, your tired, your hungry."
Your...
dreamers.
"Imagine all the people," so on and so forth.
I'd be ready to pay a lot,
a big, big price, a high price,
to see you wearing that kind of t-shirt.
Yeah.
I don't know, it'd have to be a pretty high price.
You know what?
Let's do a bet.
-A bet? -If you lose it,
you wear the same T-shirt as I wear now.
What do I get if I win?
I don't know. You choose.
If I win, you go more than an hour
-without using the bathroom. -[scoffs]
That's not--
is this very fair?
I think I've got the stakes pretty low
for you all things considered here.
Me, I'm the one with my neck on the line
if you're trying to put me in that shirt.
Yeah, all right.
Let's do this.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
All right.
We gotta find the bet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
But we do this.
Okay, shake. We're shaking on it.
I'm gonna win. I'm sure I'm gonna win.
[Eli] So about this bet.
I bet I can hail a cab before you can hail a cab.
I don't think you can even hail a cab.
I don't think you're capable.
-[Joelle] All right. -That'll settle it.
I'm down for that.
Oh, yeah.
Starts now?
-Hmm? -Starting now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the count of three.
One, two, three.
When I hear That rock and roll music
I want to dance, dance, Dance, dance, dance
When I feel The beat I can use it
I want to dance, dance, Dance, dance, dance
Goes right to my head
Right down to my feet
All I want to do is dance
Dance, dance, dance
When I hear The record player playing
Not so easy, huh?
Where's all that Parisian confidence?
Thought it'd be no problem!
[laughs]
I got it!
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
-Oh, my God. -[laughs]
Right down to my feet
All I want to do is dance
Oh come on, El-lee, you look great like that.
Why don't you try to yell a cab now?
Maybe it's gonna come faster I'm sure.
[laughs]
Oh, my God, I feel so stupid.
This is arguably the worst I've ever felt in my life.
Come on.
Are we good? We evened up here?
No, come on, you have to wear it for at least 24 hours.
24 hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I wore the shirt. That's it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's it.
That's it, here's the shirt.
Look good, El-lee.
[chuckles]
-It's a good look on ya. -Oh, yeah?
Sister Joelle of the Upper West Side.
Oh, wow, that could be the name of a Broadway show.
We gotta change the boots I guess now
to match the rest.
Yeah, what do nuns wear anyway? You never see their feet.
You ever think about that?
Their dresses, their smocks or whatever,
they go all the way to the--
you never see a nun's feet really, you know?
Maybe they're barefoot.
Is that why they're so mad all the time?
They take-- they take their sore callouses in their feet...
out on the hands of unsuspecting students with a ruler.
[Joelle laughs]
Sister Catherine!
Put on some flip flops and we can prevent this, you know?
Maybe put on some cowboy boots.
Maybe that's what we need to bring them from America.
Yeah. Some western kick-shitting nuns.
[Joelle laughs]
[players shouting]
Well, good game. Good game.
Yeah, it was cool to watch.
Yeah, you like baseball?
Well we don't have baseball back in France, but...
from what I saw, it is a cool sport.
-America's pastime. -Oh, yeah.
Invented by Mark Twain.
Hey, it's fucking Little Rascals.
This is Tay.
Gio.
I didn't get your name last time.
What was it?
It's Blaze.
Blaze?
These right here, they are the salt of the Earth.
They are the heartbeat...
of New York. They make this city run.
It's incredible.
Some of the finest individuals you could
possibly meet in your entire life.
You can trust them with all of your heart.
You get a newborn baby dog...
you can give it to them.
Not have to worry about a thing.
Smart too. Smart.
He graduated magna cum laude. What was your university?
What was it? Attica State?
Yo, Eli.
You're talking a little too much for me.
Yeah.
Nice meeting your little friend and all,
but I think your time's up.
He's a man of few words,
but everything that he says is elegant.
You are the one making the rules here, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
What's wrong? What's the deal?
What's going on here?
[Joelle] Know what? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like my dogs are barking.
-Your dogs are barking. -Yeah.
And the boots are dying.
The dogs are barking and the boots are dying.
Yeah.
So you're in a very unfortunate situation.
What do you do when your dogs are barking?
You take a load off.
-Take a load off? What does it mean? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You kick back.
Pop a squat.
You mean like you remove them, right?
That's the thing?
[Eli] Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, that's the first step.
Got it, let's move. Yeah.
Got it. It feels better.
-Yeah, you like that better? -Oh yeah.
That comforting feeling of pavement underneath your toes?
No, that's actually comfortable. You should do the same.
Yeah, I'm doing no such thing, I assure you.
Why?
-Come on. -For a plethora of reasons
I can't possibly get into right now.
You're missing something here.
Yeah, I'm happily missing it.
El-lee!
Eli.
Yeah, whatever, they have pizza with pineapple.
You want to grab a slice?
Pizza with a pineapple on it?
I feel like you want to try it, too.
Come on, don't feel guilty about having a pineapple pizza.
No guilt. I'll show you right to it.
So how you feel about this?
Feeling strong?
Still excited?
I'm not so sure anymore.
Wow. That is tough cookies.
You're all in now.
You're invested.
Yeah. That's tough.
You love the pineapple.
You love the juicy sweet fruit of the pineapple...
on the salty pizza.
Okay.
Oh, God.
This is actually good.
Oh, come on.
-I'm not joking here. -No, it's sacrilege. It's sacrilege.
I don't even want it near my face.
This is ridiculous.
You're just jealous of me
enjoying an amazing pizza right here.
Everything about it is terrible.
The texture, the pineapple popping, it's like--
it's like a larvae. Like--
the larvae of the wood nymph
bursting in your mouth, its guts.
-You haven't even tried it. -It doesn't belong together.
You haven't even tried it.
It's whatever that guy in Dante's Inferno
at the seventh level of Hell.
Like that's his only meal that he has.
Every day. That's it.
You're just jealous.
Of my one buck 50 pizza.
I'm jealous. I'm jealous.
Oh, you know what? I can save you the crust if you want.
-Oh, I'm sure you're-- -I'm good, I'm good.
I'm good. Send the crust to Hades with the rest of it.
I'm having the best time of my life here.
Mmm.
I feel like I should be walking ten feet behind you
just so there's no association, you know?
That's just how mortifying this is.
To be in the proximity.
But the wind is throwing the smell over you.
You might be walking towards that direction.
You got a point.
I'll just walk ten feet ahead of you.
Either way, six-one, half dozen the other.
Go ahead.
Lead the way.
Stay back! Stay back!
Too close.
Further!
Further!
Go to Queens.
[upbeat jazz music]
Now this is pizza.
Okay?
Do you see the difference?
Do you notice anything offhand that separates this...
from that monstrosity you were eating earlier?
All right.
-You ready? -Yeah.
It's gonna fall apart on you,
so you gotta fold it together, all right?
Make sure it holds up all right.
Fold it like this. Put the crust together.
There you go. Now it supports itself, see?
Okay, got it.
All right.
You missing the pineapple or are you good?
You were right.
Of course I'm right.
Oh, wow.
Incredible.
The bridges, the buildings,
the tunnels, Broadway.
All of it.
This is the best thing in the entire city.
This is the pinnacle of mankind.
Mankind's creations.
What it has to offer. This right here.
Unbelievable.
Can we put this into it?
Yeah, yeah.
You like it spicy huh?
Yeah.
All right.
Spiciness is for the bold ones.
[Eli] What are you doing?
Writing our names in the wood.
What?
El-lee. Joelle.
It's Eli.
Eli.
E-L-I, Eli.
I got it. It's the same.
It's not the same. There's a big difference.
Looking good.
All the people I see
And I don't even know
The name of the seven seas
We have time. Come on.
-Hey, whoa! -Come on!
We have time to cross!
Follow me!
Come on! Don't be scared!
You see? I'm safe in one piece!
I made it in one piece!
No need to be scared!
[scoffs]
What are you doing? What was that?
You don't even bother looking both ways?
No nothing? Just take off like that?
We had time. It's fine. See, I'm here in one piece.
There's no time. You can't just jump out in the middle
of the street like that. It's ridiculous.
You're gonna get hurt.
I mean...
-It's fine. -It's not fine.
-[Joelle] Come on. -It's not fine.
I thought this was a New York thing. I mean...
What, a New York thing is just getting hit by cars?
That's a New York thing?
You said New York never sleeps.
New York is always in a vibe, in a thing, you know?
So I just felt like...
Yeah, New York never sleeps, it dies, right?
Right.
[dramatic violin music]
Feeling wiped out?
-Yeah. Sure. -Yeah?
Taking its toll?
Yeah.
This coffee stand's great actually.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
I think that it's closed.
You know, it is just a technicality.
I'm sure it'll be open anytime soon.
Yeah, you said the city never sleeps,
but it seems that this guy is sleeping now.
Well, he's not the whole city, you know what I mean?
It's just one guy.
Maybe you're just one guy who never sleeps, too.
Can definitely tell it's loaded with a lot of caffeine.
Here's the payoff. This is it.
[sighs]
Yeah? Yeah?
Bleh.
What?
-You want it? -That is the opposite of the reaction I have.
No, I don't eat donuts.
You don't eat donuts?
I mean, once in a while, yeah. I mean, I like a good donut,
but you know, today's not the day.
It's not part of the routine today.
It's not on the schedule today.
I didn't have it penciled in.
Then it's not gonna be on mine either.
No, you know, in France we have beignet.
It's like a donut, but without the hole inside the middle.
And it's filled with cream or chocolate or marmalade.
Confiture, right?
And it's ten times better.
All right, all right, well, I don't know what to tell you.
You want some delivered?
You want them shipped over?
[chuckles]
-[phone buzzes] -Oh.
Can you hold this for a second?
What's going on?
Yes, yes, yes.
Hello?
[speaking French]
Everything all right?
My sister's worried for me.
I keep telling her she has no reasons to be worried.
That I'm living the best life here, right?
What was that you said to her back there?
I don't know, you said-- it was in French.
Something.
Yeah, tout vas bien?
"Too-va-bee-ya"?
Yeah.
We're improving that accent here.
Yeah?
What is that, "too-va-bee-ya?"
Well, tout vas bien means everything is fine.
Everything is all right.
-"Too-va-bee-ya." -Yeah.
Everything's fine.
Everything is fine.
Everything is all right.
Not bad.
Tout vas bien.
And it's true.
Tout vas bien. Everything is all right.
-Yeah. -I'm one with the universe.
Believing that the planet, the galaxy,
has everything mapped out for us, you know?
Yeah, I don't know about that. I can't...
Anyway...
Can't go down that road with you.
So you didn't tell me.
Have a girlfriend?
Come on.
All right, come on.
Um...
Want to talk about it?
Shy, El-lee?
I don't anymore.
Oh.
She's gone now.
She's gone somewhere else you mean?
Yeah.
You know.
Gone gone.
Sorry.
Yeah, it's all right, you know?
Hey, you good?
You good?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
Tout vas bien?
Tout vas bien.
Tout vas bien.
It's fine.
I want to know
If you love me As I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me boy
And kiss me too
And I want to know
If I'll be yours
Will you be my boy
Well, baby come on
One more time
Love me just one more time
If things could be Like they used to be
When all your love Belonged to me
I wouldn't let The others know
I'm just crying, waiting for you to call
I want to know
Will you hold my hand And cuddle up near
I want to know
Will you say the things
That I want to hear
And I want to know
If I'll be yours Will you be my boy
Well, baby come on
One more time
Let me just one more time
I had your love A long time ago
You told me That our love was strong
Your big words Didn't mean a thing
Because I wouldn't Accept your ring
I want to know
Will you hold my hand And cuddle up near
I want to know
Will you say the things
That I want to hear
And I want to know
You remind me of somebody.
You look just like someone I know.
Spitting image, right?
Doesn't she look just like her?
Tina? Tina Ackerman?
[Gio] Get the fuck out of here, Eli.
You're fucking up my business.
Business? Is that what Tina was?
My Tina was your business?
Is that it?
She was just your fucking business?
She was my heart. Your business?
If she didn't get it from us,
she would've got it from someone else.
Cops are right there.
Uh-oh.
I'm gonna get bagged out here.
You guys are right, though.
She did like the best things in life, you know?
They have the best product in town.
Top notch.
Dope royale.
Gio's not his real name.
Sebastian Garcia.
And this is Nina Popova.
Of Ukrainian descent.
-Sebastian Garcia and Nina Popova! -Let's move, Gio.
Nina Popova and Sebastian Garcia!
What? What's wrong? Nobody could be looking for you, right?
-Eli. -What are you worried about?
I fucking warned you.
You're dead.
You're a dead man walking. You're fucking dead.
Sebastian Garcia, everybody!
Nina Papova! And Blaze!
What are they're afraid of? It's like they're wanted by the law.
Like they're in trouble or something.
Fuck 'em.
I want to know
Do you love me
And I love you
I want to know
Will you hug me long
And kiss me too
And I want to know
If I'll be yours Will you be my boy
Well, baby, come on
One more time
Love me just one more time
You seems to be Like you used to be
What is this all about with Gio?
All right.
Yeah, I'm not a fan.
He's a fucking degenerate.
You know that word?
You know what fucking degenerate is?
That's Gio.
He's the epitome of that.
The archetype of a degenerate.
Good for nothing.
A waste of breath.
The oxygen that other people could be using.
That's Gio.
Aren't you afraid to get in trouble with him?
No, he doesn't--
he barks, you know?
But, nah, he just cares about his money.
That's it. He's not gonna do anything.
I'm sick of this coffee.
I can't take it anymore.
What are you looking for?
I don't know. I just wanted to show you something
that I hope...
make you feel happy and not thinking about this Gio stuff.
See?
That's a good book.
How to Relax.
[chuckles]
That's the kind of thing you want to read
after meeting up with Gio.
Oh, yeah, Thich Nhat Hanh.
-You know that guy? -Buddhism?
Buddhism.
Existence is suffering.
One of the four noble truths.
Existence is suffering.
I've kept record of what you said.
Many times.
I want to bring some stuff back into France.
Want to see my lucky-- my lucky thing?
Is this a conch?
A shell?
A shell, yeah.
Where'd you-- where'd you find this?
-At home. -At home?
Yeah. I live nearby the beach and I just carry it
everywhere with me and I feel like, I don't know.
I don't want to be superstitious or whatever,
but it just feels good to have it.
-Yeah, yeah. -A thing that reminds you of home.
You know this one where you hold it up
to your ear and you hear the ocean?
[Joelle laughs]
Hear the ocean? You ever do that?
You ever try that?
This one is too small.
Too small?
It actually works.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Try it.
It works, really.
Yeah, I can hear the ocean.
Sounds like the ocean.
The ocean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The ocean among the city noisy mess.
You know what? This time I'm gonna pour some milk.
-Maybe it's gonna-- -Oh, yeah.
I'm breaking the rules in here, but...
Cafe Ole.
Right!
All right. Cafe Ole.
You're getting good in French.
[dramatic orchestra music]
I don't know, I've noticed something different about you.
About me?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, there is something different.
No, I've been doing the same thing day after day.
Nothing's changed.
I know, it's not about that.
It's more that...
you've changed.
You don't do that thing anymore.
That...
you know?
What thing?
I don't know.
Like when you were agitated.
[sighs]
No, I mean it happens.
It's been happening. I don't know, maybe you haven't seen it,
I don't know, but, yeah, no, it's been happening.
But that's cool. I'm not saying this is bad or wrong.
I just feel like...
you look...
chill.
[sirens in distance]
I don't know.
It still happens, I don't know.
-Yeah, I'm just saying-- -That's a weird thing you observed.
I don't know why you would notice that or point that out.
It's a very-- a very strange thing for you to...
acknowledge.
I'm very observant.
You know what?
[speaks French]
What the hell does that mean?
My feet are marmalade right now.
[speaks French]
Duck Con-fit.
Yeah. Ture.
Duck l'orange.
Duck Con-fit.
[Joelle laughs]
Okay, got it.
Canard L'orange, Canard Confit.
Okay, now what you would need to learn if one day
you go to France is to order a croissant.
-So you would say... -Croissant.
Yeah, you would need to say
"Can I have a croissant," which is...
Je peux avoir un croissant.
"Je-pay-con croissant?"
Yeah. Je peux avoir un croissant.
"Je-pay-agua croissant."
-You got it. -[cars honking]
Yay!
Whoo!
[Joelle laughs]
That's a hell of a routine here.
It's something.
-You see what I'm saying though. - Yeah.
It's just one that can't happen, but if there's two--
Two or more I guess, like, whatever.
Yeah, no, I guess you're right.
Hey, you know what? Let's pick it up.
-Let's pick it up a little bit. -What? Why?
Yeah, just, the train's right here.
We should get on the train.
Are we late for something?
Yeah, sure. Just-- let's move it.
All right.
[gasps] No, no, no, no! No!
What the fuck?
What the fuck was that?
Man.
That was crazy.
That was wild, wasn't it?
-Yeah. -Geez, you all right?
I am a little shaken up myself.
That was insane.
[breathing heavily]
You all right? What's up?
-Yeah, I'm all right. -What's happening?
-I'm all right. -You good?
-Yeah, I'm good. -Joe, what's going on?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did that just happen?
Joe, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
No, no, no.
-It's nothing. -No, no, no. I know where to go.
I know where to go. I know the place.
I know all the places. I can help you.
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.
[train rattling]
Come on, come on, come on. Yeah, yup.
I'm good, El-lee.
I know, yeah, you're good, you're good.
-It's gonna be fine. -It's gonna be fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get to the place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yup.
Yup.
-We're good. -Everything is fine, right?
Yes, everything is fine.
Everything is absolutely fine.
[voice on PA] NYPD reminding everyone
if you see something, say something.
We're on a schedule here. Yes, exactly.
Got things to do, places to be, places to go.
-Exactly. -You know what I'm saying?
-It's a routine. -We got a routine.
There we go, I see the light. See the light?
-See the light? -Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's coming, all right? I know where to go.
Next-- next place is safe. Next place is safe.
We're on the same page. We're going to the place, all right?
Know how I know the place? Know how I know the place?
I know a good place. I know all the places, right?
That's where we're going. We're going to the right place.
We're going to the right place.
All right?
You with me?
Yeah?
[Joelle mutters]
Tout vas bien.
[announcer] 69th Street, Columbus Circle.
Tout vas bien, El-lee. Tout vas bien.
Tout vas bien, Eli.
[train rattling]
[announcer] This is 50th Street.
[passenger] Um, excuse me.
[announcer speaking indistinctly]
[whimpers]
[breathing heavy]
[dramatic orchestra music]
[whimpers]
-[distant sax music] -[crowd chatter]
[birds chirping]
[dramatic violin music]
[dramatic piano music]
[dramatic orchestra music]
[music continues]