Pretty Crazy (2023) Movie Script
1
[smooth R&B playing]
- MAN: Like, like...
- [echoing] Like...Like...
I know you're, like,
not into, like,
expressing your feelings
or whatever, but, I mean...
WOMAN: You a man on a miss...
Man on a miss...
MAN: I mean, you just
keep it real with me.
'Cause, you hear me,
not everybody out here
tryin' to get at you.
Ain't nobody after you,
you feel me?
I just want you
to keep it real with me.
[chuckles]
- Look...
- [echoing] Look, look...
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Tell me,
would you keep it real
If you were feeling
this vibe?
Is you feeling what I'm
feeling isn't feeling a lie?
You be tryin' to hold it in
with every bit of your pride
And the niggas are tryin'
but your feelings deny
I see you only fuck with
niggas that be livin' a lie
They don't wanna be your man,
but they be spendin' the night
Can I be the only one
that put the niggas aside?
What you're feeling inside,
am I given the time
'Cause I want you
And you want me
to mix the vodka and juice
Till we're faded
'Cause I'm into you
I promise I would
be your man if I could
Why you playin'?
But I hope you enjoyed
yourself tonight.
Yes, I did.
I had a wonderful time.
I feel so comfortable with you.
You smell good, too.
It's the wine.
I dabbed my neck
after you went to the bathroom.
See, you make me laugh,
and you are really, really hot.
I feel like
I can be myself with you.
Like, I could be free.
Be you, baby.
I could really be me
if we went back to my place.
Like I said, be you.
How you doing?
- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm doing real good.
Glad you're here.
Glad to be here.
Wasn't that, uh, your bedroom?
Yeah, it is, but this...
is my special room.
- Uh, special room?
- Mm-hmm.
What's--What's going on
in here?
Babe, you said
that you were into me.
I--I am. I am into you.
Not Bugs Bunny.
Uh, I'ma--I'ma go.
Just try one time.
Just one time.
I gotta go. You got the--
I gotta go.
I'll just put on the head.
I knew you couldn't hang.
[woman rapping]
...and I'm still fly
You hatin' on me
And that's no lie
Your car came with a key
Well, you tried
You's a lie, you's a lie
Why you lie?
Back pockets so meek
and I'm still fly
You hatin' on me
And that's no lie
Your car came with a key
Well, you tried
You's a lie, you's a lie
Why you lie?
I'm too good
I'm a bad chick
[rapping continues]
Really, Blake?
In my house?
While I'm cooking
your punk ass pancakes.
The fuck are you talking about?
How you gonna be texting
another bitch in my house
while I'm cooking you pancakes?
This is my cousin,
and she's asking
about her aunt, my mom,
to make sure that she's okay.
Why are you always trippin'?
Don't play with me, Blake.
And don't think I didn't realize
that you got a different brand
of condoms, too.
Why do you want--
It's early.
You're delusional.
I'm just gonna go.
Real--Blake, okay, baby,
I'm sorry.
I just like don't like
sharing you with nobody.
I don't even like sharing you
with that lady
you call your mom.
Okay, just don't leave.
Forgive me, please.
You said that last time,
so no, actually.
Baby, I'm sorry.
- Get your ass off of me.
- No, don't leave.
Get your ass off of me.
Get your ass off of me.
Come on, baby
You drive me
That movie was everything.
Lived up to the hype.
You know what?
We should go listen
to all the New Edition albums.
I'm down.
Vibe
She's got that vibe
No, no, no. That's, um...
That's R. Kelly.
We just listened and watched
the whole New Edition movie.
And you got
that old-ass Kelly song.
- R. Kelly wasn't in that group.
- No, he wasn't.
We got to update you
with your R&B groups,
'cause you can't
keep doing this.
- I thought--
- Oh, me.
Thank you, young man.
Thank you, young man.
Thank you so much.
Has anyone ever told you
you had such beautiful eyes?
- No, ma'am.
- Well, you do.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Take me home.
- Why?
- Now.
- For what?
How many times I have to tell
you to stop disrespecting me?
Disres--I'm handing a bag
to an elderly woman.
- I'm disrespecting you?
- Mm-hmm.
She knows that I'm with you.
Everyone out here
knows that I'm with you.
How am I disrespecting you?
I don't know
why I invest time in you.
- I'm taking your ass home.
- No, baby.
No.
That's the last straw. I'm done.
[sighs]
I always fall for your shit,
'cause--'cause
you fine as hell.
But I can't keep
going through this, Kayleigh.
I'm done for good now.
Bye.
Hey, baby. What's up?
I was just thinking about you.
Yeah? I'm always
thinking about you.
- Is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
So are you
coming over later then?
- Is this evening good for you?
- I'll be waiting.
I know this seems wrong.
I'm leaving Kayleigh's house
and calling somebody else.
But Kayleigh little ass
is too crazy for me.
She gonna have me in a hospital.
Now, LeAnn, on the other hand--
LeAnn is heaven sent.
Sweet, genuine. And the sex?
[exhales] Okay.
[men vocalizing]
[vocalizing continues]
Are you down for me
Are you down for me ?
[alarm beeping]
[gasps]
I cannot believe I just
slept in. Oh, my gosh.
I can feel the germs on my face
multiplying by the second.
Look at my damn sheets.
He was flying all over my room.
LeAnn, you cannot
be letting these niggas
get you all fucked up like that.
Well, tell him to leave.
LeAnn says you got to go.
She doesn't let anybody
sleep in her bed. Not even you.
LeAnn--
LeAnn, what's going on?
You still here?
LeAnn says leave.
I'm sorry. I just thought--
[sighs] Girl,
he got you all messed up.
Germs multiplying by the second.
Oh, with his nasty ass.
[humming] Ooh.
Calendar. What do I--
I forgot
that dinner meeting tomorrow.
Fuck. I don't have a date.
Who am I gonna ask?
Man, I'm not trying
to do that crazy shit
like I did last time.
Really quick.
Before dinner is served,
I wanna take this time
to just say thank you all
for meeting with me.
I know this business meeting has
been a long time in the making,
but I am confident
that we are gonna have
a bright future together.
So on behalf of our company,
it has been a pleasure
working with you.
No, really,
the pleasure is all ours, Blake.
During the negotiations,
your team showed us what type
of company
we would be in business with.
What I'm really trying
to say here
is that we are just glad
to be in good hands.
[laughing]
Good hands.
Better than Allstate. Okay?
Okay, can we toast to that?
Toast to--[chuckles]
In good hands. Okay. Mmm. Mmm!
Can't find one
that's not crazy, man.
[smacks lips] Shit stupid.
Hi, Ma.
Hey, baby, is that you?
Ma, it's too early.
Are you okay?
Baby, it's only 10:03
in the morning.
I was just calling to say hi
and remind you that your best
friend's wedding is coming up.
You know,
he called me early this morning
and told me
I didn't have to worry
about coming to the wedding
because he would send
the car for me.
Ain't that nice of him?
God sure has his hands
on that boy.
And his girl?
Oh, she is so cute.
Speaking of,
whatever happened to Kay--
Yeah. Kayleigh.
And that's over with.
Oh, what'd you say, baby?
Over, Ma. She's out of her mind.
Hmm. Well, I'm praying for you.
By the way, when you're
gonna start a family?
It would be very nice to have
a young lady. Don't you wanna?
I wanna meet
my special someone.
But I can't just choose anybody.
I got to take my time.
I got to make sure
they can handle my mama.
Don't be using me.
It'd be nice to have
a daughter-in-law
since you done stop
braiding hair.
Okay, so from now on,
my first question is gonna be,
"Can you braid hair?"
Baby, you'd do that for me?
That's why I love you, Ma.
[phone ringing]
Hold on, Ma. I gotta take this
call. I'm gonna call you back.
- All right, I love you.
- I love you, too.
- What up, fool?
- Bro.
You still don't
have your tux yet?
And you need to RSVP
your plus-one.
My wife not playing
about that list.
Look, I don't want no problems
before we officially marry.
Happy wife, happy life,
you know what I'm saying?
Man, relax.
I'm already fitted.
It's gonna be ready
when it's ready.
You and your soon-to-be
can just chill.
Cool, cool.
You still don't have
a date yet, though.
All them fine-ass women
you be playing with,
and you can't pick one?
Shut up. I'm actually about to
go sign up my cousin Will now.
If you keep talking,
he gonna be my plus-one.
I don't give a shit.
My almost wife has you down
for a plus-one.
Look, don't mess up
my almost happy home, man.
All right, whatever, fool.
I'll talk to you later.
Know that every L ain't a L
It's a lesson
Life is just
a balance of steaks and yams
Every day you wake up
is another day
[continues rapping]
Okay. Bruh got
the clean car. Okay.
Gotta do it. Nah, it's clean.
It's clean. Snap.
Let me know what's up.
No, no. No, I just know
how to take care of my stuff.
You see?
SO calm your ass down.
I'm just trying to be like you.
Calm down.
You could.
You could be like me
if you leave it alone.
Get back to your music
and your beats and another one.
And another one.
That could be you.
- You know what your problem is?
- What's my problem?
- Corporate got you soft, cuz.
- Okay.
What happened to Big Blake?
Big B.
I'm still-- I'm still him.
I am still him.
I know what you are.
I don't wanna be
a player no more
I'm not a player
I just
[humming]
- You can stop singing.
- No, I know. Not for real.
For real.
I know the song for you, though.
- What is that?
- You never try me
You stood right by me
- People are looking at us.
- Know the girl who Chinese
Smoke dope
You know.
Do you wanna stay--
Do you wanna stay outside?
- Do you wanna stay outside?
- But, look, no, seriously.
All I'm trying to say is,
keep messing with all them
little uppity chicks,
and you see where
that's getting you.
You see it?
I got a homegirl
I know would be good for you.
- No.
- For real.
No. I'm tired of guessing
what's behind door number two
just to get a big zonk!
Sanoya, man.
Cuz, what the hell
does that even mean?
It's this game show I watch.
When you get the answer wrong,
behind the door
they just make this big "zonk."
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't even worry about it.
I get it. I get it.
Don't worry about it.
But look, look,
check this out.
What if I put you on
with a couple of dates?
I bet you--I bet you find
a girl you looking for.
'Cause, I mean, Clay party.
Whole entire party
had shorties in there.
- They did.
- You, on the other hand,
naked, nobody.
- I wasn't.
- Lame.
- You was.
- I wasn't trying.
Get in the car.
I wasn't trying.
If I wanted to try,
I would have had all of 'em.
All right, I'm lame.
[smooth R&B playing]
Excuse me. I'm looking for--
Ooh.
Ooh. Okay.
Uh...Uh...
Ooh, Ooh. Okay.
[chuckles]
I'ma--I'ma look this way.
But, anyway, it's really nice
to be out of the house.
[giggles] Thank you so much
for bringing me.
This is really, um--
It's really nice.
We got real plates
and everything. It's fancy.
- [phone buzzing]
- Yeah. No. Nice rest--
- Sorry. I gotta take this.
- Okay.
Why you keep calling my phone?
I ain't got to tell you nothing.
Yeah, right, okay. We'll see.
Who does he think he is?
He can't tell me what to do.
I mean, you know what I'm tryin'
to say, right? Jake.
Blake.
Anyway, he's always trying
to control somebody.
- It's like, "I'm on a date."
- You are.
Look, I'm not gonna be chasing
your ass all over this city.
Why you keep putting people
in my business?
Ain't nobody putting nobody
in your business.
Look--[speaking Spanish]
And I told that I'm on a break,
so you can't tell me what to do
when I'm on a break,
so--[speaking Spanish]
Girl, grab your shit
and let's go. Break over with.
I ain't finna be playing
with your ass tonight.
He's always trying
to tell somebody what to do.
- I see that.
- It was nice meeting you.
- It was nice meet--
- Jake.
Blake, Blake, Blake. It's Blake.
Adios.
Ah! Uh! Ain't you Blake?
- Uh, yes.
- Yes! Blake!
- How are you?
- Okay. Nice to meet you.
- Please, have a seat.
- Thank you.
- Will cousin.
- Yeah.
I can't tell.
But, okay, hey!
- So, um, you know my name.
- Yes. Blake.
That's right. And you are...
So, I'm Jendra.
But it's Jenny,
if I fucks with you, though.
Okay.
Oh.
Hey, um...
Well, Jendra.
[clears throat]
No, no, no, no.
Jenny.
Thank you, sis.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I fucks with you.
- I fucks with you.
- Awesome! Yeah!
Okay. I'ma--I'ma just--
I'ma go real quick.
- To the bathroom?
- Yep. That--I'm go there.
- Okay!
- Okay.
See you, boo!
Ooh, it's nice up in here.
What's this? Mmm.
Hmm.
Ooh.
I love scrimp! Oh, my God.
Where's the chef? Who did this?
Mmm-mmm-mmm. It is so--
Oh, my goodness. Sauce.
Mmm!
Oh, my God. This is so...
Ambience up in here.
It is--Ooh, y'all.
No. No, you ain't real, bro.
She can't even articulate
a sentence.
I'm about to leave your friend.
Man, cuz, my auntie
taught you way better than this.
Well, my aunt
didn't teach you enough.
I'm-I'm done. I'm done, Will.
Cuz, with your crybaby ass.
Man, she'll a little sensitive.
I'll tell you what,
look, I'll call and pretend
I'm a parole officer.
Parole--She went to jail?
Will. Will.
[humming]
Mmm! Hmm.
Uh!
[phone playing ringtone]
Hello.
I am at home.
Okay.
Mm-mmm.
Mmm! Mmm!
[footsteps running]
[sighs]
I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care.
Scrimps.
She ate every scrimp.
Every single scrimp, she ate it.
No tip or anything.
Did you see the girl--
You didn't see her.
WOMAN: Blake?
Thank you.
Can I help you with something?
Can you?
WOMAN: Mel?
[sighs] I'm used to fine women
making the first move
or doing the first line,
so that's why--
I mean, it's okay.
It's not gonna happen again.
If it happens again.
I just let the most beautiful
girl walk out of my life.
I can't be your best man.
CLAYTON: What the hell
are you talking about anyway?
- I can't.
- Look, Im'a help you out.
There's a young lady
that rents a space from me.
Be perfect.
No. Will ass had me
on some blind dates
with some terrible-ass women.
So now you comparing me
to Will hood ass.
Look, she's a good one
as far as I can tell.
Let me give you her number.
Okay. Okay.
I'll be over there, but...
this crazy shit
is getting on my nerves, bruh.
If she ain't like
you say she is,
I'm quitting your wedding
and I'ma tell Tracy
it was all your fault. Bye.
- [smooth R&B playing]
- Damn, cuz.
You add some lyrics,
I'm telling you, we be on.
Some of the best shit I've made.
Yeah, that's hot, cuz.
"Yeah, that's hot, cuz." What?
That's all you gonna say?
I just told you this
is some of the best shit
I've ever made.
[sighs] Damn. What--
Which one of these
uppity chicken heads
got you
in your feelings now, cuz?
Hey, but look,
I can still call Jendra.
Should I say Jenny?
"If I fucks with you."
Whatever this shit is,
it's worse than...
Okay, cuz, talk to me.
[sighs] I bumped into this girl
this morning.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Tried flirting with her.
Nothing.
She gave me this fake-ass smile
and then left.
[laughs]
Why are you laughing?
That's 'cause you lame, cuz.
Okay.
And you got soft.
I've been telling you this.
No, that's not it.
She was different.
She's...smoothed
and she's genuine.
A natural beauty.
- Natural beauty?
- Yes.
Natural beauty, my ass, cuz.
Once she take off
them fake-ass lashes,
that fake-ass hair
and that
casket-ready-ass makeup,
you're gonna wake up
to some natural boo!
All right.
I don't even know--
I don't know why I try with you.
I really don't.
But that's on me.
I'm about to go
into Clay's office.
He has some girl
he want me to meet.
I don't know, but...
By the way,
your beats were dope.
That's what I'm talking about.
Good. I'll catch up with you.
And look, tell bro
good looking out
letting me get these
out the way.
I got you.
Yo, yo, yo. What up? What up?
- What's going on?
- How you feeling, bro?
I'm feeling good.
How about you?
I'm straight. I didn't even
think you were gonna show up.
I thought you were
gonna fake me out.
Man, you got lucky with Tracy.
I'm just here to see
if you got some good taste.
I did get lucky. I can't even
argue with you on that one.
- You did.
- I got lucky.
So let's hope that that luck
rubs off on me.
- So let's see.
- We'll see. Let's go see.
Come on. We'll see.
Great job.
BLAKE: Damn.
It happened again.
Excuse me.
Um, I've been thinking
about it for a while,
and I know
what you can help me with now.
And what would that be?
Allow me to take you
out to lunch
to make up for making
a fool out of myself earlier.
- Hmm.
- Melanie, right?
I heard them say your name
at the coffee shop.
Okay. So, after bumping into me
"on accident"
at the coffee shop,
you decided to come to my job
and stalk me?
I wonder what would happen
if I let you take me to lunch.
Well, if I play my cards right,
I won't have to stalk you.
I'm Blake.
I'm here to meet
my buddy Clayton.
Well, Blake,
you have a nice smile.
But I'm sure
with a smile like that,
you can take
a lot of ladies to lunch.
Smooth. Real smooth, bro.
I see why you ain't got
a date to my wedding.
It's not high school.
You got to put some work in
for the real ones, bro.
[chuckles] You sad, man.
You sad.
[sighs]
Clayton is right.
High school was such a breeze.
Like, being
a star football player,
it had its benefits.
I would just walk into a room
and women flocked to me.
And seeing
that I was playing football
and the student body president
in college,
I didn't have
no problem there either.
But in college,
the women were, um--
They were pretty crazy.
It was--It was weird.
Um, but this one, she, uh--
she got my attention.
[students chanting]
So, big-time account executive.
I guess you don't need
protection anymore for yourself.
I guess the biggest thing
is bowing at the copier machine.
As long as I know number seven,
I'm gonna be all right.
Looks like these guys
don't need number seven.
And I see
you still keeping tabs
on your old students, huh?
I always keep in touch
with all my students,
especially ones
that date crazy women.
Um, for a lack
of a better word.
Yeah. Quasinum, I've done some
insurance since I've been gone,
and believe it or not,
I think I'm done with crazy.
I just can't seem
to stop attracting them.
Son, I've been doing this
a long time.
Martial arts is like life.
And that's what I teach--
life skills.
And in order for you
to move forward
and to get away from crazy,
you have to sometimes look
at the reflection in the mirror.
You may not like what you see.
Quasinum, you always got
some deep knowledge to share.
It's probably
why I made it through college.
- That's why you owe me.
- Of course. Next round.
- I got you.
- For real this time.
I got you. I got you.
All right.
That's what they all say.
Well, I mean that, though.
It's not gonna happen tomorrow.
[phone chimes]
CLAYTON: Yo, I told you Mel
was nice, bro.
She ain't crazy
like the other ones.
You think you can handle that?
I've been thinking about it,
and, yes, she is nice.
I--I'm so ready
to leave crazy behind, man.
Yeah, and you got to be tired
making sure ain't nobody
left no panties behind.
You are right about that.
I should probably double-check
when I get home.
Check all the drawers.
Check under the bed, too.
They sneaky like that.
Yeah, you got to get right
so I can find Mrs. Right.
Keep saying corny shit
like that,
only thing you're gonna get
is Ms. Wrong.
Okay,
Now that you got
her attention,
what you gonna do?
I can't keep holding
your hand, bro.
Okay, Mr. Lucky, take it easy.
I just gotta...
think outside the box.
[chuckles] All right.
[smooth R&B playing]
Let's go
Let's make a move
I'm in my zone
Nigga's in school
Head of the class
Can't be stupid
I'm in my bag
My nigga, I'm Gucci
I like the price
on a new whip
Big rim with the glow drip
I ride like
a motherfuckin' starship
Gassed up for the long trip
I got the juice
I got, got a new groove
[singing continues]
Okay, now it's official.
You're stalking me,
or is it somebody else?
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
I got that letter
that you left on my car.
It's very cute, but it
was addressed to a "Maloney."
My stalking skills
are a little lame,
but I didn't think hiding
behind a bush
and speaking through it
was, like, your speed, so...
- Okay.
- But my spelling is on point.
- That letter was for you.
- Hmm.
It must have got wet
or something.
Just on the "A."
Yeah, it'd be raining
and one spot out here is crazy.
Okay.
It's a little too late
for lunch,
so how about I take you
to get a smoothie?
It's a joint
a couple of blocks down.
- What happened to lunch?
- You blew that.
Actually, you gotta work
your way back to that.
Oh, that's crazy, because I was
gonna say the same for you.
- And that is?
- You haven't really worked
your way up to a smoothie.
- Oh. Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
- You didn't clean it?
- Mm-hmm.
I can't tell,
'cause it's, like, everywhere.
You wanna fix that.
That's not really smoothie
worthy either, you know.
Hello, everyone.
Ms. Melanie.
Can I borrow the gym
really quickly?
Sure.
You guys,
we can finish this up later.
Go ahead and follow our guest
over here,
see what he has to say.
Okay, now,
my name is Mr. Adams, and I am
friends with Ms. Melanie.
Who here knows
how to tie one of these?
Okay, everybody. That's cool.
So, I know most times
we wear casual clothes,
but a time is gonna come
where you have a job interview
and you got to wear
a shirt and tie.
So that's what this is for.
Now, first thing,
you got to make a selection.
I chose this
'cause I like the design.
My favorite color is blue.
So I'm gonna tie it first
just to show you.
And then after that, we'll all
go through it step by step.
How about that smoothie now?
Ms. Mel,
I think your friend likes you.
What are you talking about?
I see him smiling at you
and you smiling, too.
That was a slick move
you pulled--
using my kids like that
against me.
Yeah, it was.
But I think helping out
the young men is important.
You know, teaching them
how to tie a tie
or carry themselves
as a gentleman.
So it wasn't an act.
No, it was, but...
I see what is important to you,
and I want to be a part of that.
So, Blake, what does
this big account executive do
in his free time when he's not
stalking innocent girls like me?
And why don't you have
anybody else to stalk?
I don't know what a big-time
account executive does,
but I like
to keep things simple.
I hang out with my cousin and my
buddy Clayton whom you know.
I love my mom,
but not the annoying
mama's boy kind of love.
And as far as girls go,
I've had my share of dating.
Seems like I can't choose
the right one. They're all...
unique, pretty crazy.
But yeah, I like to be simple,
like a walk and a smoothie.
What about you?
I'm sure you got somebody,
what did you say, stalking you?
Hmm.
Well, right now
it's just me and the kids.
But, I mean, it's not like
they ain't trying because--
[Blake laughs]
You know. No, but seriously, um,
I just--I like
to keep it simple, too.
You know, I just--
I guess I'm waiting
to meet the right person.
Is that right?
Hold on for one second.
- Thank you so much.
- Not a problem.
Oh! So, you think just
because you bought me
this strawberry banana smoothie
and just 'cause you helped her
all gentlemanly like
that you could just
hold my hand?
As much money as
I paid her to show up on time
at that exact moment, yes.
Are you always like this?
Um, maybe.
We could talk about it after my
next strawberry banana smoothie.
Ooh.
A Mexican what?
You've never
had Mexican corn before?
I've had corn.
Is that a trick question?
Dude, what?
You've never tried this?
Okay, hold on.
You have to try it.
It's gonna change your life,
I promise.
What's in it that makes a girl
like you get all giddy inside?
I don't know.
Some corn, some mayonnaise,
some cheesy stuff,
and red stuff.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Nice. Nice.
I like what I see.
That must be the wine talking.
Mm.
Yeah, it was the wine talking.
Never mind.
Okay.
Was that the wine talking?
What do we have here?
Okay, so, this could be
the wine talking,
but hear me out.
This is us on vacation
on the Virgin Islands,
if you act right.
Now, over here,
we're laying down
on the beach under an umbrella.
Over here, we got a boat going
past with people waving at us.
Butt-ass naked.
- Is that right?
- That's right.
- I see a sky.
- Okay, well, obviously.
A sun.
Random person tanning.
- That's actually a towel.
- Another tanning bed.
That's another towel.
- Sun.
- Okay, we're critiquing.
You took one sip.
What are we doing over here?
It's a heart. With some glasses,
because I enjoy glasses.
- That doesn't make sense.
- Okay.
That looks better. Okay.
- Actually--
- Ten times better.
No, it doesn't. Okay.
And now that's not
a beach anymore. It's a wart.
[chattering]
See, 'cause if
I would've let you step in that,
you'd have been looking stupid.
Had gum all on your shoe.
Ms. Mell, Mr. Adams has
been coming here a lot lately.
And when he's here,
you sure do smile a lot.
Is he your boyfriend?
Young lady, what do you know
about having a boyfriend?
I know if he's always making
you smile and helping you out,
he's your boyfriend.
And every time he's around,
you smile.
That's not all there is
to having a boyfriend.
But smiling does help a lot.
Plus, don't
be worrying about that.
You need to
be worrying about this.
[phone chimes]
Okay. Just so you know,
my mom says some
off-the-wall stuff sometimes,
so just a heads-up.
Ooh, I'm so scared.
Don't worry.
I think I can handle myself.
Okay, Ms. Badass.
Hey, baby.
Hello, Ma.
Mmm.
- How you doing?
- Good.
Who this little ugly girl
you done bought to my house?
Wow, Ma.
Um, this is Melanie.
Mel, this is my mama.
Hi, Mrs. Adams.
It's really nice to meet you.
Blake has told me
so much about you,
but he didn't say
how beautiful you were.
Okay, you can tell me.
Well, Mrs. Adams,
you are very beautiful,
and I love what you've done
with your hair.
Hmm.
I like her.
Mel, would you like
something to drink?
You got to try
my mom's homemade lemonade.
It's the reason
I keep coming over here.
Mama, I'm gonna go upstairs
and grab some shirts and ties
I used to wear to church.
I'm gonna be helping Mel out
with her kids.
Did I hear that right?
You have children?
None of my own, ma'am.
No, no, no, no, no.
I work at the gym with the kids,
and Blake's
been helping out a lot.
They really like him.
You know, he's very patient.
He listens.
He engages with the kids.
And most of all, when he's
working with them one on one,
he makes it feel
like it's just you.
I'm really lucky to have him
in my--the kids' life.
Hmm. You sure you're just
talking about the kids?
I haven't seen you
in a minute, bro.
I know somebody
got your nose wide open.
Yeah, I got to give
you credit on this one, Clay.
Your girl Mel has your boy
working hard just
to get to first base.
I tried to tell you, bro.
I know a good one when I see it.
She way different from, uh...
[smacks lips]
What's her name? The first one.
Oh, Keisha, man.
First one. Yes.
Now that I think about it,
she's probably
the reason I am the way I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was it
she had you do again?
Cover her ass in whipped cream
and then spank it
with a yellow fly swatter.
It's not funny actually.
But whatever.
That's probably why
I miss the crazy-ass woman now.
First time out,
and that's the shit I get.
And it seems like every time
the next one wants
to be crazier than the last one.
And I don't get that.
But I can't lie.
Sometimes
it is somewhat interesting.
I mean, bruh,
that shit still make me laugh.
It couldn't be
a green fly swatter, blue one.
I mean, it had to be yellow?
Man, yes. Yellow fly swatter.
I mean, it was kind of weird,
but I was like, what the hell?
But hold on, bruh,
'cause you acting like I'm
the only one that's
had his share of crazy.
I know you ain't
talking about the twins, man.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
[blowing lips]
My first bout and I get hit
with a double dose.
Two for one. That's right.
Damn.
[doorbell rings]
Hey, Tammy, are you ready?
Um...
- Where's your boy?
- I didn't...
I told you I'm a twin, right?
Yeah, I believe
you saying something like that.
So why would
you think I would go somewhere
with you without my twin?
Uh, I...
I told you, Sis.
They all think I'm ugly.
Look at me.
Am I beautiful?
Yes, you are.
And you look like me, right?
Yes, I do.
So that would
make you beautiful.
Yes, it would.
- You know what?
- What?
- Why don't you go out?
- You sure about that?
Yes, Sis. You know I love you.
Okay.
So...
Where's your boy?
I told you I was a twin, right?
You didn't think
I was gonna go on a date
with you without my twin,
did you?
Told you. They think I'm ugly.
You are not ugly. Look at me.
What do you see?
I left my wallet
at my mom's house.
Your wallet at your mama house.
So, you didn't think
about your wallet before
you went into the forest?
That lumberjack-ass jacket.
Bro.
The twins?
They was--They was cool.
I just couldn't do it.
Yeah, but to be honest
with you, Clay,
I think I was
into that type of crazy woman
because there was no commitment.
Like, when they got crazy,
I would just leave,
and that'd be that.
And there was
no feelings attached.
And if it was feelings, I'd just
move on to the next one.
Right.
But with Mel,
we don't do crazy shit.
We do fun shit.
Like, she's the first girl
I've--I would say good night to,
and then the next time
I wake up,
I cannot wait to see her, bro.
Like...
I think it's time
to leave crazy alone, man.
Yes, I know.
Yeah, she got
your nose wide open.
Oh, my God.
What's up with, um...
with your girl Kayleigh?
Oh, that's done with.
I'm done with her crazy ass.
She cool with that? I know
she could be, you know, jealous.
Yeah, I guess, dog.
I mean, she called me
a few times,
but I left it on voicemail.
Like, just over with.
[blowing lips]
Speaking of crazy,
the bachelor party.
Oh. Don't even worry about it.
Got it all settled.
I don't need your-soon-to-be
wife being mad at me.
Got a bachelor party.
No strippers. Boo.
Just this party
celebrating my bro.
Okay, If it's like that,
we ain't hanging out no more.
Okay, I got...
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with you, girl.
You done got you a new man.
I can't get a call,
a text, or something.
Ain't seen you
in a couple of weeks.
This must be the one.
I can't lie, Tiff.
It's been real chill. We've been
doing some normal shit, girl.
- And I even met his mom.
- Hold up.
Met his mom? Like, met his mom
or like that last loser?
Okay, you ain't have
to bring that up.
And it seems
like I did meet her,
seeing as how he had to call her
before and after we had sex.
Girl, you done
had some fine men,
but damn, they were all crazy.
This one seems
like one of the sane ones.
So you're telling me Ryan,
who was fine,
but had both of his
German shepherds stuffed
and set up at the foot
of his bed is above mama's boy?
Girl, when I saw that,
I was like, "I got to go.
I got some socks to fold."
Wait. What about the brother
that kept forgetting his wallet
every time you guys went out?
Oh, my God. He wasn't crazy.
He was just cheap.
True.
It's about time, girl.
You deserve this.
Thank you.
And it feels so good.
Cheers.
We're getting
down to the day, babe.
Are all the groomsmen fitted
and ready to go?
Especially the best man?
Does he even know
who he's bringing?
Everybody is good, baby.
Blake is, too.
He said he done with crazy.
You know my friend Melanie
from the gym?
Mm-hmm.
I think he got
his eyes on her.
I think she just might be
the one to slow him down.
All right, now.
Look, I don't want no problems.
I do not need his behind
running up behind my bridesmaids
or Aunt Bunny.
Come on now.
We both know your Aunt Bunny
will be the one hitting on him.
You know she a cougar.
Plus, I told you,
he done with crazy.
So you're trying to call
Aunt Bunny crazy?
I'm just saying.
So, what about you?
Are you done with crazy?
Because, you know,
I heard they run in packs.
I can hold on to this crazy
for a little while.
So, I see that you guys
agree with the plans.
Ah!
What are you doing here?
I've been calling you,
but I guess your phone is off.
So I remember
you work out at this time.
It's not off. You're blocked.
Anyway, I was calling
to tell you
that you left
your watch at my house,
and I know
you left it on purpose
so that you could
come and see me.
So I...
engraved something special
on the back for you.
Why would...
You can keep it.
When are you gonna
come get it?
Bye, Kayleigh.
[Kayleigh smacks lips]
Okay, baby, see you later!
This is what I'm talking about.
Out having a good time.
Drinking.
Eye candy.
No thanks to your best man.
See, I took the liberty of
inviting some of my own friends,
'cause my cousin is a lame.
I ain't wanted
to take the chance
on him bringing some of them
uppity chicks, you know.
Shut up, man.
Clayton is not trying to take
part in your shenanigans.
What the fuck
does that even mean?
See what I'm talking about,
Clay? Lame as hell.
You know what? If you gentlemen
would excuse me,
I'm about to make sure
that people get their party on.
Do that because that's, like,
why you're here, so...
Please stop me.
- Damn. Look at short--
- Yeah.
Shorty right there.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. That's why I had
this party in advance.
You can take it in
and have time to recover.
[sighs]
Let's stroll.
You enjoy yourself.
In order to keep my sanity,
I'm gonna call
my soon-to-be, man.
- Okay.
- Have fun.
Excuse me. You Blake, right?
I--Uh, yeah. Jendra.
Yes. Jenny.
[together]
If I fucks with you.
- Right. Right.
- Fucks with you.
I remember.
Yes. I bet you thought you
were never gonna see me again.
- I was hoping.
- Wow. Really? Me, too.
Um, about last time, something
had happened and, um...
Mama got sick.
But if you ever wanna go out
for scrimps again, we should go.
They was fire.
We should. Yeah. It was so good.
I'm gonna put it
in my calendar right now.
I got to take this phone call,
but I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Be right back.
I'll be right here, boo.
Okay.
Tell me you had nothing
to do with that.
Man, she said she's looking
for Blake
and wanna thank him
for some scrimps here, boy.
I said to myself,
"Self, this is gonna be good.
That's him right there."
When she said scrimps,
you should have known better.
- That's why I did it.
- I can't stand your ass, man.
What's going on?
I thought you had shows.
What you doing in town?
Man, you know I had to come
show Clay some love.
Give him his last laugh
before he jumps the broom.
Once they get the hooks in you,
ain't nothing funny no more.
Yeah, I see you're still on your
"live, laugh, love" shit.
Yeah, it works for me.
You got something better?
I think Clay
got it right this time.
And if everything goes right,
I'm gonna be right behind him.
But listen,
I ain't gonna stand in your way,
but the next time
you need to laugh, let me know.
I'll get some
tickets for my show.
I appreciate that.
You spoke to Clay already?
Yeah. I saw him outside.
- How long you in town?
- I'm here to the morning.
But if you're not gonna be
messing with strip girls,
I think I'm gonna
do a little night fishing.
- Enjoy yourself.
- All right, bro.
Nasty ass.
How's it going?
I appreciate you, man, letting
me deejay at the wedding.
Sure. You know
you good with me, Will.
It wasn't even a question, bro.
So, man. Hey, but look, though.
This here's a party.
They fucking with me.
Moms won't let me test
one of these joints
I've been working on.
- Go ahead.
- Appreciate you, man.
Don't have me looking bad
out there, bro.
You are a hater.
Trust me.
You can live all by yourself.
What did you say?
What did he say?
Okay. Nobody hear me. Okay.
That's what's up.
[R&B beat playing]
These sounds so good.
Who made these beats?
It's all me, baby.
What you know about that?
Do you mind?
Tell me what you need,
what you need from me, yeah
Tell me what you need,
what you need from me
I can give you what you like
Make you feel like
'Cause I know you like
what I like
I can tell you
come back for me
See the way you peep
at my physique
Suffocating you
behind the scenes
But I know you wanna make me
Taking notes
for your identity
Kiss and memorize
what I need
[singing continues]
I know you've been
waiting to sip on my potion
Be careful, it's potent
I got several flavors
Come sip from this potion
Here's your lesson for today
Do you feel the same?
Wanna make you feel it
in your veins
See it in the front
of your brain
I'm the only driver
in your lane
Open wide
so I can take my aim
Show me, here's the trick
Put down a take
I can get you
at a moment's daze
Feeling you feeling me,
feeling it moves
Feeling my body
and it will be cool
I'm the one
who got the juice
The one that's brightest
is the one that'll do
You been waitin'
I'm anticipatin'
Listen up 'cause here's
the demonstration
Gotta keep you up
and keep you patient
Fuckin' with your mind
and not debating
Boy, you been hoping
Wishin' and prayin'
to drive in my ocean
You be playin' and postin'
I got you so high
in that two-seater Roadster
I got you so hopin'
I know you been waitin'
to sip on my potion
Be careful, it's potent
I got several flavors
Come sip on my potion
Don't stop poppin'
Don't stop
what you're working with
Don't stop poppin'
Don't stop
what you're working with
Now, what you know
about that?
I love you.
My name is Myra J.
I'm a new artist,
and I'm going into the studio
to record my new album.
I would love if you could
produce a few tracks for me.
I really, really love you.
Yes!
[chattering]
I'll take it from here,
thank you.
- Ooh. Ooh.
- Excuse me.
Kayleigh, what the hell
are you doing here?
I let you have
your little yogurt.
I let you have
your little Mexican corn.
I even let you give her
a little piggyback ride.
But now you take her
to our restaurant?
Our what?
Wait, you've been following me?
What the hell is your problem?
But you know what?
I forgive you.
Okay, Blake, who is this?
- The job that I had--
- Oh, so he didn't tell--
- This is my boo.
- Mel, I ain't her shit. Okay?
I left that her house
when I broke up with her,
and she did that
after we split up.
And as you can see, this is
exactly why we're not together.
Kayleigh, this is not happening.
Please leave.
I'll leave,
'cause obviously you two have
some things to work out.
Mel. Mel. Just wait.
Come on, boo-boo,
before they give our tab--
Mel. I know.
It's not what it looks like.
Looks like something
I don't wanna be a part of.
Baby, baby,
I would not do this to you.
What are you doing? Don't call--
Mel, listen, listen.
Don't call a Uber.
Why would I invest
all of my time into you,
wasting your time, if I had
somebody else in my life?
It's not what you think. Baby--
You don't know what I think,
and I don't know what to think.
Baby. Mel. Mel!
Damn, Kayleigh!
Valet! Fuck.
What are you doing?
Baby, I'll make up to you
when we get home.
I'll make this one
extra special for you.
Come upstairs.
You know I can't stay mad
at you. I forgive you, baby.
I'll make you forget
all about her.
She doesn't make you feel
the way I do.
You're absolutely right.
She doesn't make me feel
the way that you do,
the way Melanie does.
Kayleigh, this is all my fault.
I shouldn't have let
this relationship go on
for as long as it has.
I knew I wasn't gonna commit
to you when I met you,
and that's wrong.
You deserve somebody that's
gonna be there for you
through the good
and through the bad.
And I'm not that guy. I'm sorry.
You don't mean that.
Just come upstair--
It's over, Kayleigh.
[door closes]
Your call has been forwarded
to an automated
voice messaging system.
Hey, it's Mel.
Leave a message,
but keep it short.
Mel, this has been
the best three weeks of my life.
I would really hate to lose you
over a misunderstanding
like that.
That was one of the dates
I was telling you about
where I can't just have
a smoothie and a walk.
Thank you.
Your message has been sent.
[soft R&B playing]
Mel.
Baby, I wish you
would let me explain.
That girl means nothing to me.
I'm glad she showed up.
Because it lets me know
that I would have made
a terrible decision by letting
a woman like that ruin my life.
Before you, Mel,
all my days are a blur.
I--I don't even try
to remember them.
With you, I can't sleep
knowing how much fun we have
and what more we have to come.
Just walking down the street
and holding hands with you
makes me smile.
When I look at Clayton,
I didn't think--
I didn't think I would find
someone like that to love.
But you changed that.
Mel.
I love you.
I just did that.
I snuck into her building,
stood at her door,
and poured out my heart.
Am I ashamed of it?
Sort of. But...
I mean, I'm also proud
at the same time.
Whoever said love hurts? Man.
You look pretty bad, bro.
Have you had any sleep
these past couple of days?
No, man, I can't.
I tried calling Mel, but
she's not answering her phone.
I tried sneaking in her building
to catch her, but nothing.
You was crying at the door?
Don't answer that.
My bad, bro.
I hate to see you like that.
I'll just tell Tracy
to push the wedding back.
You not gonna
tell her shit like that.
I don't need her
coming in my head.
I'ma be okay
for the wedding, bruh.
Thank God.
And if she came for you,
ain't no telling what
she was gonna do to me.
All I got to say is,
crazy ain't never
had me feeling like this.
It ain't crazy, bro.
It's just love.
Yeah. Let me see.
Man, Mr. B., I can't get
the hang of tying this thing.
You got it. You got it.
Just a little more practice,
that's all.
You wanna be ready for your
job interview, don't you?
Yeah. I need to get paid.
What's up with you
and Ms. Melanie?
Both of y'all walking around
looking all frowned up?
Have you seen Ms. Melanie?
Nah, we ain't seen her.
Okay.
Why did you say
we haven't seen her?
That's what she told me
to say if he asked.
Well, she needs to see him.
She hasn't been smiling
since he hasn't been
coming around.
Here, baby.
Thank you for the pie, Ma.
You always know
how to brighten my day.
The way you looking,
it's gonna take more than my pie
to brighten your day.
Melanie, right?
Ma, she was so special.
Hmm. Baby, you thought love
was gonna be easy?
If it was easy,
everybody be doing it.
When your dad and I was dating,
he did something so simple,
and I made a big deal out of it.
All right, babe, I'm gonna run
to the house real quick,
grab some clothes for tomorrow.
I'll be right back.
When I do, we can work on that
movie we was talking about.
But, um, I got to stop
by old girl house.
The one I can't
really say a name in here.
I'm just dropping off
some treats and some toys.
Why you got to do all that?
Why she can't by him
some new stuff?
Look, I already told you, when
we broke up, she kept the dog.
And I'm just trying to drop off
some of his favorite toys.
He can get some new stuff,
and he gonna be just fine.
Look, I told you,
it's not a big deal.
And when--Don't be like that.
When I get back,
we can work on that movie.
All right? Don't trip.
I didn't answer
his calls for two weeks.
You know, he kept calling
and I kept ignoring.
I know it wasn't right
at the time,
but I just want to make sure
that I was the one for him.
And you know what?
After two weeks,
he was still calling,
so I knew I was the one.
Why would you do that if you
knew you wanted to be with him?
Because love make
you do crazy things.
I never asked, but, um,
what happened?
Well, unfortunately, your dad,
he never got over me
leaving him those two weeks.
We never talked about it.
We never discussed it.
And he just became
really insecure.
You know,
every time I left the house,
he would question
where I was going.
It got to the point
where I was like,
"Are you gonna
ever get over this?"
And he told me he didn't know.
And then he got up,
kissed me on my cheek,
went upstairs and packed a bag,
came down and left the house.
Two months later,
divorce papers came.
I remember that.
You sat
in the middle of the floor
with the papers in front of you,
crying your eyes out.
I could almost hear
your heart break.
I never knew what happened,
but as I sat on the floor
next to you, wiping your eyes,
all I thought about
was never wanting to feel
like what you
were going through.
You know,
after your dad got sick
and I would go visit him,
he told me that he was sorry.
He knew I wasn't seeing anyone,
and his pride just
wouldn't let him come back.
And I told him I was sorry, too,
but my pride
wouldn't let me call him.
I just don't wanna end up
sitting in the middle
of the floor, crying.
That's the thing
about love, Son.
You're gonna end up crying
somewhere.
But if you're in it together,
you'll be able to wipe
away each other's tears.
Commitment and pride.
Those are two of the things
that mess up a relationship.
You don't wanna end up
like me and your dad, Son.
I think I'm way past pride, Ma.
I think it's a story
behind that one.
- [R&B playing]
- Crazy.
[phone buzzing]
Yo, what up? You outside?
All right. I'm coming now.
All right.
[clears throat]
What's up?
Oh, man. What's up, man?
[music stops]
You still ain't
over shorty yet, are you?
You still ain't
over shorty, huh?
You're crazy. Bro.
Yo, Will, let me hit
one of your blunts.
Nigga, have you lost your mind?
You don't even smoke weed.
I get it. You think
you about to waste my shit
'cause you in your feelings?
Hell, no. No. No. Not today.
Don't even know why you
asked that. You trippin'.
You right, though, cuz.
Like, I'm not myself.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Like,
as soon as
I think I get rid of it,
crazy finds
a way back into my life.
Mm.
Mm.
Okay.
Look, I hate to break
this down to you, cuz.
See, it's different levels
with crazy.
You always fucking
with that high-level crazy.
But see, you don't even know
about the low-level crazy.
See--
See, with the high-level crazy,
you can't really do shit about.
But the low-level crazy, there's
always something behind it.
It's up to you to find it.
But when you do,
it's a higher chance
you can fix it.
Uh...
- It's like the weed talking.
- I know it was.
I understand that.
I don't even know why you
looking at it like that,
'cause I'm not finna
let you hit this shit.
Why you mad?
Look, I'll
tell you what, though.
Get at me after the wedding,
I might hook you up.
'Cause you know
I always got it. Hmm?
She just came out of nowhere
talking about some,
"I'll take it from here.
This is my boo."
Who even calls
a grown man boo anymore?
Then she's gonna
take out this watch
with a heart and "forever"
engraved on the back of it,
talking about some,
he left it at her apartment.
So, what did Blake say?
You did ask him, didn't you?
He said that he broke up with
her and that he left that watch
in her apartment and
her crazy ass had it engraved.
He tried to explain,
but I just left.
Mel, from everything
you had said about him,
why didn't you hear him out?
Because it was just like
standing there
was giving me dj vu.
- Do you remember Paul?
- How could I forget?
Dude tried to make you check in
every two hours
and try to turn you
into a vegetarian.
You know you like you
some bacon.
Yeah, and leaving his ass
was nothing nice either.
That's why the man
calling my cousin Mimi
and have a talk with him.
- That finally worked.
- That's the thing though, Tiff.
I wanna be done with crazy.
Um, it seems
like Blake does too.
Look, girl, you got to stop
letting your past boyfriends
control your life.
Not all men
are gonna be like them.
If you never let
them remain in the past,
you'll never have a future.
And you'll never be able
to let someone treat you
the way you should be treated.
Treat you the way
you should be treated.
And it's about time.
Let yourself
be treated nice for once.
I guess you're right.
Thanks for always
having my back, Tiff.
You know I got your back, girl.
- Hey, girl.
- Hey, Ms. Lena.
You had yourself a visitor.
Were you peeking again?
I wasn't peeping.
I was listening.
It sounded like that young fella
you've been spending
your time with.
Girl, he was begging,
crying, and pleading.
If some music was playing,
I swear it was Keith Sweat.
Girl, he must have thought
you was home
'cause he was going hard.
He might still have left
some tears on your door.
I can't tell you
what all he said,
but I can tell you this--
that man really loves you.
Now, if you not sure
why this man is sneaking
in your building
and crying
where everybody can hear him
and not care,
I will go in there
and give him a call
and do that texting thing
y'all do
and let him know
you're still around.
Girl, don't you let
that beggin'-ass man get away.
And, oh, he left you something
at your door.
I ain't want it to go missing.
You know how people are.
- Thank you. Ms. Lena.
- Mm-hmm.
- May I help you?
- Yeah.
Uh...
Yeah. Let me get
the, uh, number seven.
- Do you want a drink with that?
- Is that extra?
Yes.
Nah. Let me just--I'm gonna go
with the number seven.
That will be, uh, $10.89.
$10.89? You might as well
just say $11.00.
Do you want it or not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How much you say that was?
$10.89, sir.
[buzzing]
How much you short, bro?
I'm like, uh...
It's cool. Um, here you go.
Appreciate you, bro.
Appreciate you, bro.
That's love, bro.
Black on black love.
- Yeah.
- Appreciate you.
Get yourself a juice, too.
And keep the change.
- Can I get a drink, too?
- What flavor?
Purple.
Purple ain't no damn flavor.
It's grape.
Let me get
a chocolate donut, too.
MAN: Next.
BLAKE: Oh. I'm...
I'm sorry. I didn't see you
standing right there.
That's okay.
It's just a little hot coffee.
You know, uh, just imagine
if that was a hot wax.
Uh...
Oh, no. Um...
I have a question. This...
She left. She left.
I...
I don't know what to do.
[soft R&B playing]
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You can kiss the bride.
[applause]
[soft R&B playing]
[women vocalizing]
[smooth R&B playing]
See? Look at your Aunt Bunny.
I told you.
Cougar on the prowl.
[whispering] I don't have
any panties on.
Boy, stop playing
with Aunt Bunny.
You know she's just having fun.
Excuse me. Rashad, right?
Yeah, Rashad.
I have to go to ladies room.
Okay, shorty.
Mmm! I sure would like
to be your toilet paper,
make sure you wipe
from front to back.
You knew exactly.
Um...
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Mel.
Mel, stop.
These last couple of days
without you,
I can't put into words.
I miss your smile.
I miss the way you look at me.
I miss your heartbeat.
I would have sought you, but
I can't bear to see you unhappy.
I wish you would have,
but you couldn't
'cause she got into your car.
She did. I took her home.
But it wasn't
until you drove off
that I realized
it wasn't Kayleigh's fault.
I would just leave when she
would do the jealous thing.
I wouldn't say anything.
I'd just go.
But I wanted to say
something this time.
When I let her out
in front of her apartment,
I told her
that I wanna be with you.
I didn't want there to be
any misunderstandings.
I wasn't unhappy, Blake.
I was scared.
That thing that happened,
that was a flashback
of a relationship
that I've already been in.
I know what it's like to be with
someone who's super possessive.
I don't wanna invest
my feelings into this,
and you still have
to deal with that.
But, baby, that's on me.
I should have said and did more
when you walked away.
But to be honest,
I was scared too.
For the first time,
when I'm with you,
I don't wanna
just leave anymore.
I could be doing absolutely
nothing with you
and feel
the love surrounding me.
And the only thing I'm left
to deal with and the only thing
that I wanna deal with
is that I'm in love with you.
I wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.
I love you too, Blake,
but I'm just not ready.
Mel. Mel.
["Bare With Me"
by Joel Q playing]
MEL: Excuse me, sir.
You afraid to get gum
on your shoe?
Got gum on your shoe, huh?
You know, I was just
in the neighborhood
and thought
about this juice caf
that my one friend took me to
on our first date.
So I was like, maybe I'll come
and get
a strawberry banana smoothie.
Funny, I took a friend
on our first date
to get
a strawberry banana smoothie.
Seriously, Blake,
I'm tired of letting my past
ruin my happy future.
And, I mean, to be honest,
I've been going
pretty damn crazy without you.
BLAKE: Aw!
["Love Black"
by Jay Moren Playing]
Told you, baby.
He wanna be just like me.
- I'm done with crazy.
- I thought you said
you ain't mine a little crazy
in your life.
Well, you know.
In the car right now?
Why you didn't say
something earlier?
We could've been left.
Let's go.
Ain't nothing wrong
with a little crazy.
How's this, Mr. B.?
Am I ready to make that money?
Almost. You almost ready.
I think you need
to graduate eighth grade first.
But I tell you what,
when you're ready,
I'll put a good word in for you.
How does that sound?
Okay.
I told you he liked you.
So I guess I'm supposed to come
to you for marriage advice, huh?
No. Marriage...
[phone ringing]
What up, cuz?
Yo, cuz,
I think I found the one.
I'm on this online dating site
right now and she is bad.
- Come on, man. Online dating?
- Her profile is everything.
She even likes sports.
Cuz, her profile pic,
she got this pic
with her hugging a penguin
with her legs all kicked up.
I'm about to send a post.
Oh, no. No, don't do that.
Cuz, she is pretty.
[R&B playing]
["Bare With Me"
by Joel Q playing]
["Who It's Gon Be"
by Joel Q Playing]
[song ends]
[smooth R&B playing]
- MAN: Like, like...
- [echoing] Like...Like...
I know you're, like,
not into, like,
expressing your feelings
or whatever, but, I mean...
WOMAN: You a man on a miss...
Man on a miss...
MAN: I mean, you just
keep it real with me.
'Cause, you hear me,
not everybody out here
tryin' to get at you.
Ain't nobody after you,
you feel me?
I just want you
to keep it real with me.
[chuckles]
- Look...
- [echoing] Look, look...
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Would you tell me
if you fell in love?
If you caught these feelings
Tell me,
would you keep it real
If you were feeling
this vibe?
Is you feeling what I'm
feeling isn't feeling a lie?
You be tryin' to hold it in
with every bit of your pride
And the niggas are tryin'
but your feelings deny
I see you only fuck with
niggas that be livin' a lie
They don't wanna be your man,
but they be spendin' the night
Can I be the only one
that put the niggas aside?
What you're feeling inside,
am I given the time
'Cause I want you
And you want me
to mix the vodka and juice
Till we're faded
'Cause I'm into you
I promise I would
be your man if I could
Why you playin'?
But I hope you enjoyed
yourself tonight.
Yes, I did.
I had a wonderful time.
I feel so comfortable with you.
You smell good, too.
It's the wine.
I dabbed my neck
after you went to the bathroom.
See, you make me laugh,
and you are really, really hot.
I feel like
I can be myself with you.
Like, I could be free.
Be you, baby.
I could really be me
if we went back to my place.
Like I said, be you.
How you doing?
- I'm good. How are you?
- I'm doing real good.
Glad you're here.
Glad to be here.
Wasn't that, uh, your bedroom?
Yeah, it is, but this...
is my special room.
- Uh, special room?
- Mm-hmm.
What's--What's going on
in here?
Babe, you said
that you were into me.
I--I am. I am into you.
Not Bugs Bunny.
Uh, I'ma--I'ma go.
Just try one time.
Just one time.
I gotta go. You got the--
I gotta go.
I'll just put on the head.
I knew you couldn't hang.
[woman rapping]
...and I'm still fly
You hatin' on me
And that's no lie
Your car came with a key
Well, you tried
You's a lie, you's a lie
Why you lie?
Back pockets so meek
and I'm still fly
You hatin' on me
And that's no lie
Your car came with a key
Well, you tried
You's a lie, you's a lie
Why you lie?
I'm too good
I'm a bad chick
[rapping continues]
Really, Blake?
In my house?
While I'm cooking
your punk ass pancakes.
The fuck are you talking about?
How you gonna be texting
another bitch in my house
while I'm cooking you pancakes?
This is my cousin,
and she's asking
about her aunt, my mom,
to make sure that she's okay.
Why are you always trippin'?
Don't play with me, Blake.
And don't think I didn't realize
that you got a different brand
of condoms, too.
Why do you want--
It's early.
You're delusional.
I'm just gonna go.
Real--Blake, okay, baby,
I'm sorry.
I just like don't like
sharing you with nobody.
I don't even like sharing you
with that lady
you call your mom.
Okay, just don't leave.
Forgive me, please.
You said that last time,
so no, actually.
Baby, I'm sorry.
- Get your ass off of me.
- No, don't leave.
Get your ass off of me.
Get your ass off of me.
Come on, baby
You drive me
That movie was everything.
Lived up to the hype.
You know what?
We should go listen
to all the New Edition albums.
I'm down.
Vibe
She's got that vibe
No, no, no. That's, um...
That's R. Kelly.
We just listened and watched
the whole New Edition movie.
And you got
that old-ass Kelly song.
- R. Kelly wasn't in that group.
- No, he wasn't.
We got to update you
with your R&B groups,
'cause you can't
keep doing this.
- I thought--
- Oh, me.
Thank you, young man.
Thank you, young man.
Thank you so much.
Has anyone ever told you
you had such beautiful eyes?
- No, ma'am.
- Well, you do.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- Take me home.
- Why?
- Now.
- For what?
How many times I have to tell
you to stop disrespecting me?
Disres--I'm handing a bag
to an elderly woman.
- I'm disrespecting you?
- Mm-hmm.
She knows that I'm with you.
Everyone out here
knows that I'm with you.
How am I disrespecting you?
I don't know
why I invest time in you.
- I'm taking your ass home.
- No, baby.
No.
That's the last straw. I'm done.
[sighs]
I always fall for your shit,
'cause--'cause
you fine as hell.
But I can't keep
going through this, Kayleigh.
I'm done for good now.
Bye.
Hey, baby. What's up?
I was just thinking about you.
Yeah? I'm always
thinking about you.
- Is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
So are you
coming over later then?
- Is this evening good for you?
- I'll be waiting.
I know this seems wrong.
I'm leaving Kayleigh's house
and calling somebody else.
But Kayleigh little ass
is too crazy for me.
She gonna have me in a hospital.
Now, LeAnn, on the other hand--
LeAnn is heaven sent.
Sweet, genuine. And the sex?
[exhales] Okay.
[men vocalizing]
[vocalizing continues]
Are you down for me
Are you down for me ?
[alarm beeping]
[gasps]
I cannot believe I just
slept in. Oh, my gosh.
I can feel the germs on my face
multiplying by the second.
Look at my damn sheets.
He was flying all over my room.
LeAnn, you cannot
be letting these niggas
get you all fucked up like that.
Well, tell him to leave.
LeAnn says you got to go.
She doesn't let anybody
sleep in her bed. Not even you.
LeAnn--
LeAnn, what's going on?
You still here?
LeAnn says leave.
I'm sorry. I just thought--
[sighs] Girl,
he got you all messed up.
Germs multiplying by the second.
Oh, with his nasty ass.
[humming] Ooh.
Calendar. What do I--
I forgot
that dinner meeting tomorrow.
Fuck. I don't have a date.
Who am I gonna ask?
Man, I'm not trying
to do that crazy shit
like I did last time.
Really quick.
Before dinner is served,
I wanna take this time
to just say thank you all
for meeting with me.
I know this business meeting has
been a long time in the making,
but I am confident
that we are gonna have
a bright future together.
So on behalf of our company,
it has been a pleasure
working with you.
No, really,
the pleasure is all ours, Blake.
During the negotiations,
your team showed us what type
of company
we would be in business with.
What I'm really trying
to say here
is that we are just glad
to be in good hands.
[laughing]
Good hands.
Better than Allstate. Okay?
Okay, can we toast to that?
Toast to--[chuckles]
In good hands. Okay. Mmm. Mmm!
Can't find one
that's not crazy, man.
[smacks lips] Shit stupid.
Hi, Ma.
Hey, baby, is that you?
Ma, it's too early.
Are you okay?
Baby, it's only 10:03
in the morning.
I was just calling to say hi
and remind you that your best
friend's wedding is coming up.
You know,
he called me early this morning
and told me
I didn't have to worry
about coming to the wedding
because he would send
the car for me.
Ain't that nice of him?
God sure has his hands
on that boy.
And his girl?
Oh, she is so cute.
Speaking of,
whatever happened to Kay--
Yeah. Kayleigh.
And that's over with.
Oh, what'd you say, baby?
Over, Ma. She's out of her mind.
Hmm. Well, I'm praying for you.
By the way, when you're
gonna start a family?
It would be very nice to have
a young lady. Don't you wanna?
I wanna meet
my special someone.
But I can't just choose anybody.
I got to take my time.
I got to make sure
they can handle my mama.
Don't be using me.
It'd be nice to have
a daughter-in-law
since you done stop
braiding hair.
Okay, so from now on,
my first question is gonna be,
"Can you braid hair?"
Baby, you'd do that for me?
That's why I love you, Ma.
[phone ringing]
Hold on, Ma. I gotta take this
call. I'm gonna call you back.
- All right, I love you.
- I love you, too.
- What up, fool?
- Bro.
You still don't
have your tux yet?
And you need to RSVP
your plus-one.
My wife not playing
about that list.
Look, I don't want no problems
before we officially marry.
Happy wife, happy life,
you know what I'm saying?
Man, relax.
I'm already fitted.
It's gonna be ready
when it's ready.
You and your soon-to-be
can just chill.
Cool, cool.
You still don't have
a date yet, though.
All them fine-ass women
you be playing with,
and you can't pick one?
Shut up. I'm actually about to
go sign up my cousin Will now.
If you keep talking,
he gonna be my plus-one.
I don't give a shit.
My almost wife has you down
for a plus-one.
Look, don't mess up
my almost happy home, man.
All right, whatever, fool.
I'll talk to you later.
Know that every L ain't a L
It's a lesson
Life is just
a balance of steaks and yams
Every day you wake up
is another day
[continues rapping]
Okay. Bruh got
the clean car. Okay.
Gotta do it. Nah, it's clean.
It's clean. Snap.
Let me know what's up.
No, no. No, I just know
how to take care of my stuff.
You see?
SO calm your ass down.
I'm just trying to be like you.
Calm down.
You could.
You could be like me
if you leave it alone.
Get back to your music
and your beats and another one.
And another one.
That could be you.
- You know what your problem is?
- What's my problem?
- Corporate got you soft, cuz.
- Okay.
What happened to Big Blake?
Big B.
I'm still-- I'm still him.
I am still him.
I know what you are.
I don't wanna be
a player no more
I'm not a player
I just
[humming]
- You can stop singing.
- No, I know. Not for real.
For real.
I know the song for you, though.
- What is that?
- You never try me
You stood right by me
- People are looking at us.
- Know the girl who Chinese
Smoke dope
You know.
Do you wanna stay--
Do you wanna stay outside?
- Do you wanna stay outside?
- But, look, no, seriously.
All I'm trying to say is,
keep messing with all them
little uppity chicks,
and you see where
that's getting you.
You see it?
I got a homegirl
I know would be good for you.
- No.
- For real.
No. I'm tired of guessing
what's behind door number two
just to get a big zonk!
Sanoya, man.
Cuz, what the hell
does that even mean?
It's this game show I watch.
When you get the answer wrong,
behind the door
they just make this big "zonk."
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't even worry about it.
I get it. I get it.
Don't worry about it.
But look, look,
check this out.
What if I put you on
with a couple of dates?
I bet you--I bet you find
a girl you looking for.
'Cause, I mean, Clay party.
Whole entire party
had shorties in there.
- They did.
- You, on the other hand,
naked, nobody.
- I wasn't.
- Lame.
- You was.
- I wasn't trying.
Get in the car.
I wasn't trying.
If I wanted to try,
I would have had all of 'em.
All right, I'm lame.
[smooth R&B playing]
Excuse me. I'm looking for--
Ooh.
Ooh. Okay.
Uh...Uh...
Ooh, Ooh. Okay.
[chuckles]
I'ma--I'ma look this way.
But, anyway, it's really nice
to be out of the house.
[giggles] Thank you so much
for bringing me.
This is really, um--
It's really nice.
We got real plates
and everything. It's fancy.
- [phone buzzing]
- Yeah. No. Nice rest--
- Sorry. I gotta take this.
- Okay.
Why you keep calling my phone?
I ain't got to tell you nothing.
Yeah, right, okay. We'll see.
Who does he think he is?
He can't tell me what to do.
I mean, you know what I'm tryin'
to say, right? Jake.
Blake.
Anyway, he's always trying
to control somebody.
- It's like, "I'm on a date."
- You are.
Look, I'm not gonna be chasing
your ass all over this city.
Why you keep putting people
in my business?
Ain't nobody putting nobody
in your business.
Look--[speaking Spanish]
And I told that I'm on a break,
so you can't tell me what to do
when I'm on a break,
so--[speaking Spanish]
Girl, grab your shit
and let's go. Break over with.
I ain't finna be playing
with your ass tonight.
He's always trying
to tell somebody what to do.
- I see that.
- It was nice meeting you.
- It was nice meet--
- Jake.
Blake, Blake, Blake. It's Blake.
Adios.
Ah! Uh! Ain't you Blake?
- Uh, yes.
- Yes! Blake!
- How are you?
- Okay. Nice to meet you.
- Please, have a seat.
- Thank you.
- Will cousin.
- Yeah.
I can't tell.
But, okay, hey!
- So, um, you know my name.
- Yes. Blake.
That's right. And you are...
So, I'm Jendra.
But it's Jenny,
if I fucks with you, though.
Okay.
Oh.
Hey, um...
Well, Jendra.
[clears throat]
No, no, no, no.
Jenny.
Thank you, sis.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I fucks with you.
- I fucks with you.
- Awesome! Yeah!
Okay. I'ma--I'ma just--
I'ma go real quick.
- To the bathroom?
- Yep. That--I'm go there.
- Okay!
- Okay.
See you, boo!
Ooh, it's nice up in here.
What's this? Mmm.
Hmm.
Ooh.
I love scrimp! Oh, my God.
Where's the chef? Who did this?
Mmm-mmm-mmm. It is so--
Oh, my goodness. Sauce.
Mmm!
Oh, my God. This is so...
Ambience up in here.
It is--Ooh, y'all.
No. No, you ain't real, bro.
She can't even articulate
a sentence.
I'm about to leave your friend.
Man, cuz, my auntie
taught you way better than this.
Well, my aunt
didn't teach you enough.
I'm-I'm done. I'm done, Will.
Cuz, with your crybaby ass.
Man, she'll a little sensitive.
I'll tell you what,
look, I'll call and pretend
I'm a parole officer.
Parole--She went to jail?
Will. Will.
[humming]
Mmm! Hmm.
Uh!
[phone playing ringtone]
Hello.
I am at home.
Okay.
Mm-mmm.
Mmm! Mmm!
[footsteps running]
[sighs]
I don't care. I don't care.
I don't care.
Scrimps.
She ate every scrimp.
Every single scrimp, she ate it.
No tip or anything.
Did you see the girl--
You didn't see her.
WOMAN: Blake?
Thank you.
Can I help you with something?
Can you?
WOMAN: Mel?
[sighs] I'm used to fine women
making the first move
or doing the first line,
so that's why--
I mean, it's okay.
It's not gonna happen again.
If it happens again.
I just let the most beautiful
girl walk out of my life.
I can't be your best man.
CLAYTON: What the hell
are you talking about anyway?
- I can't.
- Look, Im'a help you out.
There's a young lady
that rents a space from me.
Be perfect.
No. Will ass had me
on some blind dates
with some terrible-ass women.
So now you comparing me
to Will hood ass.
Look, she's a good one
as far as I can tell.
Let me give you her number.
Okay. Okay.
I'll be over there, but...
this crazy shit
is getting on my nerves, bruh.
If she ain't like
you say she is,
I'm quitting your wedding
and I'ma tell Tracy
it was all your fault. Bye.
- [smooth R&B playing]
- Damn, cuz.
You add some lyrics,
I'm telling you, we be on.
Some of the best shit I've made.
Yeah, that's hot, cuz.
"Yeah, that's hot, cuz." What?
That's all you gonna say?
I just told you this
is some of the best shit
I've ever made.
[sighs] Damn. What--
Which one of these
uppity chicken heads
got you
in your feelings now, cuz?
Hey, but look,
I can still call Jendra.
Should I say Jenny?
"If I fucks with you."
Whatever this shit is,
it's worse than...
Okay, cuz, talk to me.
[sighs] I bumped into this girl
this morning.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Tried flirting with her.
Nothing.
She gave me this fake-ass smile
and then left.
[laughs]
Why are you laughing?
That's 'cause you lame, cuz.
Okay.
And you got soft.
I've been telling you this.
No, that's not it.
She was different.
She's...smoothed
and she's genuine.
A natural beauty.
- Natural beauty?
- Yes.
Natural beauty, my ass, cuz.
Once she take off
them fake-ass lashes,
that fake-ass hair
and that
casket-ready-ass makeup,
you're gonna wake up
to some natural boo!
All right.
I don't even know--
I don't know why I try with you.
I really don't.
But that's on me.
I'm about to go
into Clay's office.
He has some girl
he want me to meet.
I don't know, but...
By the way,
your beats were dope.
That's what I'm talking about.
Good. I'll catch up with you.
And look, tell bro
good looking out
letting me get these
out the way.
I got you.
Yo, yo, yo. What up? What up?
- What's going on?
- How you feeling, bro?
I'm feeling good.
How about you?
I'm straight. I didn't even
think you were gonna show up.
I thought you were
gonna fake me out.
Man, you got lucky with Tracy.
I'm just here to see
if you got some good taste.
I did get lucky. I can't even
argue with you on that one.
- You did.
- I got lucky.
So let's hope that that luck
rubs off on me.
- So let's see.
- We'll see. Let's go see.
Come on. We'll see.
Great job.
BLAKE: Damn.
It happened again.
Excuse me.
Um, I've been thinking
about it for a while,
and I know
what you can help me with now.
And what would that be?
Allow me to take you
out to lunch
to make up for making
a fool out of myself earlier.
- Hmm.
- Melanie, right?
I heard them say your name
at the coffee shop.
Okay. So, after bumping into me
"on accident"
at the coffee shop,
you decided to come to my job
and stalk me?
I wonder what would happen
if I let you take me to lunch.
Well, if I play my cards right,
I won't have to stalk you.
I'm Blake.
I'm here to meet
my buddy Clayton.
Well, Blake,
you have a nice smile.
But I'm sure
with a smile like that,
you can take
a lot of ladies to lunch.
Smooth. Real smooth, bro.
I see why you ain't got
a date to my wedding.
It's not high school.
You got to put some work in
for the real ones, bro.
[chuckles] You sad, man.
You sad.
[sighs]
Clayton is right.
High school was such a breeze.
Like, being
a star football player,
it had its benefits.
I would just walk into a room
and women flocked to me.
And seeing
that I was playing football
and the student body president
in college,
I didn't have
no problem there either.
But in college,
the women were, um--
They were pretty crazy.
It was--It was weird.
Um, but this one, she, uh--
she got my attention.
[students chanting]
So, big-time account executive.
I guess you don't need
protection anymore for yourself.
I guess the biggest thing
is bowing at the copier machine.
As long as I know number seven,
I'm gonna be all right.
Looks like these guys
don't need number seven.
And I see
you still keeping tabs
on your old students, huh?
I always keep in touch
with all my students,
especially ones
that date crazy women.
Um, for a lack
of a better word.
Yeah. Quasinum, I've done some
insurance since I've been gone,
and believe it or not,
I think I'm done with crazy.
I just can't seem
to stop attracting them.
Son, I've been doing this
a long time.
Martial arts is like life.
And that's what I teach--
life skills.
And in order for you
to move forward
and to get away from crazy,
you have to sometimes look
at the reflection in the mirror.
You may not like what you see.
Quasinum, you always got
some deep knowledge to share.
It's probably
why I made it through college.
- That's why you owe me.
- Of course. Next round.
- I got you.
- For real this time.
I got you. I got you.
All right.
That's what they all say.
Well, I mean that, though.
It's not gonna happen tomorrow.
[phone chimes]
CLAYTON: Yo, I told you Mel
was nice, bro.
She ain't crazy
like the other ones.
You think you can handle that?
I've been thinking about it,
and, yes, she is nice.
I--I'm so ready
to leave crazy behind, man.
Yeah, and you got to be tired
making sure ain't nobody
left no panties behind.
You are right about that.
I should probably double-check
when I get home.
Check all the drawers.
Check under the bed, too.
They sneaky like that.
Yeah, you got to get right
so I can find Mrs. Right.
Keep saying corny shit
like that,
only thing you're gonna get
is Ms. Wrong.
Okay,
Now that you got
her attention,
what you gonna do?
I can't keep holding
your hand, bro.
Okay, Mr. Lucky, take it easy.
I just gotta...
think outside the box.
[chuckles] All right.
[smooth R&B playing]
Let's go
Let's make a move
I'm in my zone
Nigga's in school
Head of the class
Can't be stupid
I'm in my bag
My nigga, I'm Gucci
I like the price
on a new whip
Big rim with the glow drip
I ride like
a motherfuckin' starship
Gassed up for the long trip
I got the juice
I got, got a new groove
[singing continues]
Okay, now it's official.
You're stalking me,
or is it somebody else?
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
I got that letter
that you left on my car.
It's very cute, but it
was addressed to a "Maloney."
My stalking skills
are a little lame,
but I didn't think hiding
behind a bush
and speaking through it
was, like, your speed, so...
- Okay.
- But my spelling is on point.
- That letter was for you.
- Hmm.
It must have got wet
or something.
Just on the "A."
Yeah, it'd be raining
and one spot out here is crazy.
Okay.
It's a little too late
for lunch,
so how about I take you
to get a smoothie?
It's a joint
a couple of blocks down.
- What happened to lunch?
- You blew that.
Actually, you gotta work
your way back to that.
Oh, that's crazy, because I was
gonna say the same for you.
- And that is?
- You haven't really worked
your way up to a smoothie.
- Oh. Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
- You didn't clean it?
- Mm-hmm.
I can't tell,
'cause it's, like, everywhere.
You wanna fix that.
That's not really smoothie
worthy either, you know.
Hello, everyone.
Ms. Melanie.
Can I borrow the gym
really quickly?
Sure.
You guys,
we can finish this up later.
Go ahead and follow our guest
over here,
see what he has to say.
Okay, now,
my name is Mr. Adams, and I am
friends with Ms. Melanie.
Who here knows
how to tie one of these?
Okay, everybody. That's cool.
So, I know most times
we wear casual clothes,
but a time is gonna come
where you have a job interview
and you got to wear
a shirt and tie.
So that's what this is for.
Now, first thing,
you got to make a selection.
I chose this
'cause I like the design.
My favorite color is blue.
So I'm gonna tie it first
just to show you.
And then after that, we'll all
go through it step by step.
How about that smoothie now?
Ms. Mel,
I think your friend likes you.
What are you talking about?
I see him smiling at you
and you smiling, too.
That was a slick move
you pulled--
using my kids like that
against me.
Yeah, it was.
But I think helping out
the young men is important.
You know, teaching them
how to tie a tie
or carry themselves
as a gentleman.
So it wasn't an act.
No, it was, but...
I see what is important to you,
and I want to be a part of that.
So, Blake, what does
this big account executive do
in his free time when he's not
stalking innocent girls like me?
And why don't you have
anybody else to stalk?
I don't know what a big-time
account executive does,
but I like
to keep things simple.
I hang out with my cousin and my
buddy Clayton whom you know.
I love my mom,
but not the annoying
mama's boy kind of love.
And as far as girls go,
I've had my share of dating.
Seems like I can't choose
the right one. They're all...
unique, pretty crazy.
But yeah, I like to be simple,
like a walk and a smoothie.
What about you?
I'm sure you got somebody,
what did you say, stalking you?
Hmm.
Well, right now
it's just me and the kids.
But, I mean, it's not like
they ain't trying because--
[Blake laughs]
You know. No, but seriously, um,
I just--I like
to keep it simple, too.
You know, I just--
I guess I'm waiting
to meet the right person.
Is that right?
Hold on for one second.
- Thank you so much.
- Not a problem.
Oh! So, you think just
because you bought me
this strawberry banana smoothie
and just 'cause you helped her
all gentlemanly like
that you could just
hold my hand?
As much money as
I paid her to show up on time
at that exact moment, yes.
Are you always like this?
Um, maybe.
We could talk about it after my
next strawberry banana smoothie.
Ooh.
A Mexican what?
You've never
had Mexican corn before?
I've had corn.
Is that a trick question?
Dude, what?
You've never tried this?
Okay, hold on.
You have to try it.
It's gonna change your life,
I promise.
What's in it that makes a girl
like you get all giddy inside?
I don't know.
Some corn, some mayonnaise,
some cheesy stuff,
and red stuff.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Nice. Nice.
I like what I see.
That must be the wine talking.
Mm.
Yeah, it was the wine talking.
Never mind.
Okay.
Was that the wine talking?
What do we have here?
Okay, so, this could be
the wine talking,
but hear me out.
This is us on vacation
on the Virgin Islands,
if you act right.
Now, over here,
we're laying down
on the beach under an umbrella.
Over here, we got a boat going
past with people waving at us.
Butt-ass naked.
- Is that right?
- That's right.
- I see a sky.
- Okay, well, obviously.
A sun.
Random person tanning.
- That's actually a towel.
- Another tanning bed.
That's another towel.
- Sun.
- Okay, we're critiquing.
You took one sip.
What are we doing over here?
It's a heart. With some glasses,
because I enjoy glasses.
- That doesn't make sense.
- Okay.
That looks better. Okay.
- Actually--
- Ten times better.
No, it doesn't. Okay.
And now that's not
a beach anymore. It's a wart.
[chattering]
See, 'cause if
I would've let you step in that,
you'd have been looking stupid.
Had gum all on your shoe.
Ms. Mell, Mr. Adams has
been coming here a lot lately.
And when he's here,
you sure do smile a lot.
Is he your boyfriend?
Young lady, what do you know
about having a boyfriend?
I know if he's always making
you smile and helping you out,
he's your boyfriend.
And every time he's around,
you smile.
That's not all there is
to having a boyfriend.
But smiling does help a lot.
Plus, don't
be worrying about that.
You need to
be worrying about this.
[phone chimes]
Okay. Just so you know,
my mom says some
off-the-wall stuff sometimes,
so just a heads-up.
Ooh, I'm so scared.
Don't worry.
I think I can handle myself.
Okay, Ms. Badass.
Hey, baby.
Hello, Ma.
Mmm.
- How you doing?
- Good.
Who this little ugly girl
you done bought to my house?
Wow, Ma.
Um, this is Melanie.
Mel, this is my mama.
Hi, Mrs. Adams.
It's really nice to meet you.
Blake has told me
so much about you,
but he didn't say
how beautiful you were.
Okay, you can tell me.
Well, Mrs. Adams,
you are very beautiful,
and I love what you've done
with your hair.
Hmm.
I like her.
Mel, would you like
something to drink?
You got to try
my mom's homemade lemonade.
It's the reason
I keep coming over here.
Mama, I'm gonna go upstairs
and grab some shirts and ties
I used to wear to church.
I'm gonna be helping Mel out
with her kids.
Did I hear that right?
You have children?
None of my own, ma'am.
No, no, no, no, no.
I work at the gym with the kids,
and Blake's
been helping out a lot.
They really like him.
You know, he's very patient.
He listens.
He engages with the kids.
And most of all, when he's
working with them one on one,
he makes it feel
like it's just you.
I'm really lucky to have him
in my--the kids' life.
Hmm. You sure you're just
talking about the kids?
I haven't seen you
in a minute, bro.
I know somebody
got your nose wide open.
Yeah, I got to give
you credit on this one, Clay.
Your girl Mel has your boy
working hard just
to get to first base.
I tried to tell you, bro.
I know a good one when I see it.
She way different from, uh...
[smacks lips]
What's her name? The first one.
Oh, Keisha, man.
First one. Yes.
Now that I think about it,
she's probably
the reason I am the way I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was it
she had you do again?
Cover her ass in whipped cream
and then spank it
with a yellow fly swatter.
It's not funny actually.
But whatever.
That's probably why
I miss the crazy-ass woman now.
First time out,
and that's the shit I get.
And it seems like every time
the next one wants
to be crazier than the last one.
And I don't get that.
But I can't lie.
Sometimes
it is somewhat interesting.
I mean, bruh,
that shit still make me laugh.
It couldn't be
a green fly swatter, blue one.
I mean, it had to be yellow?
Man, yes. Yellow fly swatter.
I mean, it was kind of weird,
but I was like, what the hell?
But hold on, bruh,
'cause you acting like I'm
the only one that's
had his share of crazy.
I know you ain't
talking about the twins, man.
Exactly what I'm talking about.
[blowing lips]
My first bout and I get hit
with a double dose.
Two for one. That's right.
Damn.
[doorbell rings]
Hey, Tammy, are you ready?
Um...
- Where's your boy?
- I didn't...
I told you I'm a twin, right?
Yeah, I believe
you saying something like that.
So why would
you think I would go somewhere
with you without my twin?
Uh, I...
I told you, Sis.
They all think I'm ugly.
Look at me.
Am I beautiful?
Yes, you are.
And you look like me, right?
Yes, I do.
So that would
make you beautiful.
Yes, it would.
- You know what?
- What?
- Why don't you go out?
- You sure about that?
Yes, Sis. You know I love you.
Okay.
So...
Where's your boy?
I told you I was a twin, right?
You didn't think
I was gonna go on a date
with you without my twin,
did you?
Told you. They think I'm ugly.
You are not ugly. Look at me.
What do you see?
I left my wallet
at my mom's house.
Your wallet at your mama house.
So, you didn't think
about your wallet before
you went into the forest?
That lumberjack-ass jacket.
Bro.
The twins?
They was--They was cool.
I just couldn't do it.
Yeah, but to be honest
with you, Clay,
I think I was
into that type of crazy woman
because there was no commitment.
Like, when they got crazy,
I would just leave,
and that'd be that.
And there was
no feelings attached.
And if it was feelings, I'd just
move on to the next one.
Right.
But with Mel,
we don't do crazy shit.
We do fun shit.
Like, she's the first girl
I've--I would say good night to,
and then the next time
I wake up,
I cannot wait to see her, bro.
Like...
I think it's time
to leave crazy alone, man.
Yes, I know.
Yeah, she got
your nose wide open.
Oh, my God.
What's up with, um...
with your girl Kayleigh?
Oh, that's done with.
I'm done with her crazy ass.
She cool with that? I know
she could be, you know, jealous.
Yeah, I guess, dog.
I mean, she called me
a few times,
but I left it on voicemail.
Like, just over with.
[blowing lips]
Speaking of crazy,
the bachelor party.
Oh. Don't even worry about it.
Got it all settled.
I don't need your-soon-to-be
wife being mad at me.
Got a bachelor party.
No strippers. Boo.
Just this party
celebrating my bro.
Okay, If it's like that,
we ain't hanging out no more.
Okay, I got...
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with you, girl.
You done got you a new man.
I can't get a call,
a text, or something.
Ain't seen you
in a couple of weeks.
This must be the one.
I can't lie, Tiff.
It's been real chill. We've been
doing some normal shit, girl.
- And I even met his mom.
- Hold up.
Met his mom? Like, met his mom
or like that last loser?
Okay, you ain't have
to bring that up.
And it seems
like I did meet her,
seeing as how he had to call her
before and after we had sex.
Girl, you done
had some fine men,
but damn, they were all crazy.
This one seems
like one of the sane ones.
So you're telling me Ryan,
who was fine,
but had both of his
German shepherds stuffed
and set up at the foot
of his bed is above mama's boy?
Girl, when I saw that,
I was like, "I got to go.
I got some socks to fold."
Wait. What about the brother
that kept forgetting his wallet
every time you guys went out?
Oh, my God. He wasn't crazy.
He was just cheap.
True.
It's about time, girl.
You deserve this.
Thank you.
And it feels so good.
Cheers.
We're getting
down to the day, babe.
Are all the groomsmen fitted
and ready to go?
Especially the best man?
Does he even know
who he's bringing?
Everybody is good, baby.
Blake is, too.
He said he done with crazy.
You know my friend Melanie
from the gym?
Mm-hmm.
I think he got
his eyes on her.
I think she just might be
the one to slow him down.
All right, now.
Look, I don't want no problems.
I do not need his behind
running up behind my bridesmaids
or Aunt Bunny.
Come on now.
We both know your Aunt Bunny
will be the one hitting on him.
You know she a cougar.
Plus, I told you,
he done with crazy.
So you're trying to call
Aunt Bunny crazy?
I'm just saying.
So, what about you?
Are you done with crazy?
Because, you know,
I heard they run in packs.
I can hold on to this crazy
for a little while.
So, I see that you guys
agree with the plans.
Ah!
What are you doing here?
I've been calling you,
but I guess your phone is off.
So I remember
you work out at this time.
It's not off. You're blocked.
Anyway, I was calling
to tell you
that you left
your watch at my house,
and I know
you left it on purpose
so that you could
come and see me.
So I...
engraved something special
on the back for you.
Why would...
You can keep it.
When are you gonna
come get it?
Bye, Kayleigh.
[Kayleigh smacks lips]
Okay, baby, see you later!
This is what I'm talking about.
Out having a good time.
Drinking.
Eye candy.
No thanks to your best man.
See, I took the liberty of
inviting some of my own friends,
'cause my cousin is a lame.
I ain't wanted
to take the chance
on him bringing some of them
uppity chicks, you know.
Shut up, man.
Clayton is not trying to take
part in your shenanigans.
What the fuck
does that even mean?
See what I'm talking about,
Clay? Lame as hell.
You know what? If you gentlemen
would excuse me,
I'm about to make sure
that people get their party on.
Do that because that's, like,
why you're here, so...
Please stop me.
- Damn. Look at short--
- Yeah.
Shorty right there.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. That's why I had
this party in advance.
You can take it in
and have time to recover.
[sighs]
Let's stroll.
You enjoy yourself.
In order to keep my sanity,
I'm gonna call
my soon-to-be, man.
- Okay.
- Have fun.
Excuse me. You Blake, right?
I--Uh, yeah. Jendra.
Yes. Jenny.
[together]
If I fucks with you.
- Right. Right.
- Fucks with you.
I remember.
Yes. I bet you thought you
were never gonna see me again.
- I was hoping.
- Wow. Really? Me, too.
Um, about last time, something
had happened and, um...
Mama got sick.
But if you ever wanna go out
for scrimps again, we should go.
They was fire.
We should. Yeah. It was so good.
I'm gonna put it
in my calendar right now.
I got to take this phone call,
but I'll be right back.
- Okay.
- Be right back.
I'll be right here, boo.
Okay.
Tell me you had nothing
to do with that.
Man, she said she's looking
for Blake
and wanna thank him
for some scrimps here, boy.
I said to myself,
"Self, this is gonna be good.
That's him right there."
When she said scrimps,
you should have known better.
- That's why I did it.
- I can't stand your ass, man.
What's going on?
I thought you had shows.
What you doing in town?
Man, you know I had to come
show Clay some love.
Give him his last laugh
before he jumps the broom.
Once they get the hooks in you,
ain't nothing funny no more.
Yeah, I see you're still on your
"live, laugh, love" shit.
Yeah, it works for me.
You got something better?
I think Clay
got it right this time.
And if everything goes right,
I'm gonna be right behind him.
But listen,
I ain't gonna stand in your way,
but the next time
you need to laugh, let me know.
I'll get some
tickets for my show.
I appreciate that.
You spoke to Clay already?
Yeah. I saw him outside.
- How long you in town?
- I'm here to the morning.
But if you're not gonna be
messing with strip girls,
I think I'm gonna
do a little night fishing.
- Enjoy yourself.
- All right, bro.
Nasty ass.
How's it going?
I appreciate you, man, letting
me deejay at the wedding.
Sure. You know
you good with me, Will.
It wasn't even a question, bro.
So, man. Hey, but look, though.
This here's a party.
They fucking with me.
Moms won't let me test
one of these joints
I've been working on.
- Go ahead.
- Appreciate you, man.
Don't have me looking bad
out there, bro.
You are a hater.
Trust me.
You can live all by yourself.
What did you say?
What did he say?
Okay. Nobody hear me. Okay.
That's what's up.
[R&B beat playing]
These sounds so good.
Who made these beats?
It's all me, baby.
What you know about that?
Do you mind?
Tell me what you need,
what you need from me, yeah
Tell me what you need,
what you need from me
I can give you what you like
Make you feel like
'Cause I know you like
what I like
I can tell you
come back for me
See the way you peep
at my physique
Suffocating you
behind the scenes
But I know you wanna make me
Taking notes
for your identity
Kiss and memorize
what I need
[singing continues]
I know you've been
waiting to sip on my potion
Be careful, it's potent
I got several flavors
Come sip from this potion
Here's your lesson for today
Do you feel the same?
Wanna make you feel it
in your veins
See it in the front
of your brain
I'm the only driver
in your lane
Open wide
so I can take my aim
Show me, here's the trick
Put down a take
I can get you
at a moment's daze
Feeling you feeling me,
feeling it moves
Feeling my body
and it will be cool
I'm the one
who got the juice
The one that's brightest
is the one that'll do
You been waitin'
I'm anticipatin'
Listen up 'cause here's
the demonstration
Gotta keep you up
and keep you patient
Fuckin' with your mind
and not debating
Boy, you been hoping
Wishin' and prayin'
to drive in my ocean
You be playin' and postin'
I got you so high
in that two-seater Roadster
I got you so hopin'
I know you been waitin'
to sip on my potion
Be careful, it's potent
I got several flavors
Come sip on my potion
Don't stop poppin'
Don't stop
what you're working with
Don't stop poppin'
Don't stop
what you're working with
Now, what you know
about that?
I love you.
My name is Myra J.
I'm a new artist,
and I'm going into the studio
to record my new album.
I would love if you could
produce a few tracks for me.
I really, really love you.
Yes!
[chattering]
I'll take it from here,
thank you.
- Ooh. Ooh.
- Excuse me.
Kayleigh, what the hell
are you doing here?
I let you have
your little yogurt.
I let you have
your little Mexican corn.
I even let you give her
a little piggyback ride.
But now you take her
to our restaurant?
Our what?
Wait, you've been following me?
What the hell is your problem?
But you know what?
I forgive you.
Okay, Blake, who is this?
- The job that I had--
- Oh, so he didn't tell--
- This is my boo.
- Mel, I ain't her shit. Okay?
I left that her house
when I broke up with her,
and she did that
after we split up.
And as you can see, this is
exactly why we're not together.
Kayleigh, this is not happening.
Please leave.
I'll leave,
'cause obviously you two have
some things to work out.
Mel. Mel. Just wait.
Come on, boo-boo,
before they give our tab--
Mel. I know.
It's not what it looks like.
Looks like something
I don't wanna be a part of.
Baby, baby,
I would not do this to you.
What are you doing? Don't call--
Mel, listen, listen.
Don't call a Uber.
Why would I invest
all of my time into you,
wasting your time, if I had
somebody else in my life?
It's not what you think. Baby--
You don't know what I think,
and I don't know what to think.
Baby. Mel. Mel!
Damn, Kayleigh!
Valet! Fuck.
What are you doing?
Baby, I'll make up to you
when we get home.
I'll make this one
extra special for you.
Come upstairs.
You know I can't stay mad
at you. I forgive you, baby.
I'll make you forget
all about her.
She doesn't make you feel
the way I do.
You're absolutely right.
She doesn't make me feel
the way that you do,
the way Melanie does.
Kayleigh, this is all my fault.
I shouldn't have let
this relationship go on
for as long as it has.
I knew I wasn't gonna commit
to you when I met you,
and that's wrong.
You deserve somebody that's
gonna be there for you
through the good
and through the bad.
And I'm not that guy. I'm sorry.
You don't mean that.
Just come upstair--
It's over, Kayleigh.
[door closes]
Your call has been forwarded
to an automated
voice messaging system.
Hey, it's Mel.
Leave a message,
but keep it short.
Mel, this has been
the best three weeks of my life.
I would really hate to lose you
over a misunderstanding
like that.
That was one of the dates
I was telling you about
where I can't just have
a smoothie and a walk.
Thank you.
Your message has been sent.
[soft R&B playing]
Mel.
Baby, I wish you
would let me explain.
That girl means nothing to me.
I'm glad she showed up.
Because it lets me know
that I would have made
a terrible decision by letting
a woman like that ruin my life.
Before you, Mel,
all my days are a blur.
I--I don't even try
to remember them.
With you, I can't sleep
knowing how much fun we have
and what more we have to come.
Just walking down the street
and holding hands with you
makes me smile.
When I look at Clayton,
I didn't think--
I didn't think I would find
someone like that to love.
But you changed that.
Mel.
I love you.
I just did that.
I snuck into her building,
stood at her door,
and poured out my heart.
Am I ashamed of it?
Sort of. But...
I mean, I'm also proud
at the same time.
Whoever said love hurts? Man.
You look pretty bad, bro.
Have you had any sleep
these past couple of days?
No, man, I can't.
I tried calling Mel, but
she's not answering her phone.
I tried sneaking in her building
to catch her, but nothing.
You was crying at the door?
Don't answer that.
My bad, bro.
I hate to see you like that.
I'll just tell Tracy
to push the wedding back.
You not gonna
tell her shit like that.
I don't need her
coming in my head.
I'ma be okay
for the wedding, bruh.
Thank God.
And if she came for you,
ain't no telling what
she was gonna do to me.
All I got to say is,
crazy ain't never
had me feeling like this.
It ain't crazy, bro.
It's just love.
Yeah. Let me see.
Man, Mr. B., I can't get
the hang of tying this thing.
You got it. You got it.
Just a little more practice,
that's all.
You wanna be ready for your
job interview, don't you?
Yeah. I need to get paid.
What's up with you
and Ms. Melanie?
Both of y'all walking around
looking all frowned up?
Have you seen Ms. Melanie?
Nah, we ain't seen her.
Okay.
Why did you say
we haven't seen her?
That's what she told me
to say if he asked.
Well, she needs to see him.
She hasn't been smiling
since he hasn't been
coming around.
Here, baby.
Thank you for the pie, Ma.
You always know
how to brighten my day.
The way you looking,
it's gonna take more than my pie
to brighten your day.
Melanie, right?
Ma, she was so special.
Hmm. Baby, you thought love
was gonna be easy?
If it was easy,
everybody be doing it.
When your dad and I was dating,
he did something so simple,
and I made a big deal out of it.
All right, babe, I'm gonna run
to the house real quick,
grab some clothes for tomorrow.
I'll be right back.
When I do, we can work on that
movie we was talking about.
But, um, I got to stop
by old girl house.
The one I can't
really say a name in here.
I'm just dropping off
some treats and some toys.
Why you got to do all that?
Why she can't by him
some new stuff?
Look, I already told you, when
we broke up, she kept the dog.
And I'm just trying to drop off
some of his favorite toys.
He can get some new stuff,
and he gonna be just fine.
Look, I told you,
it's not a big deal.
And when--Don't be like that.
When I get back,
we can work on that movie.
All right? Don't trip.
I didn't answer
his calls for two weeks.
You know, he kept calling
and I kept ignoring.
I know it wasn't right
at the time,
but I just want to make sure
that I was the one for him.
And you know what?
After two weeks,
he was still calling,
so I knew I was the one.
Why would you do that if you
knew you wanted to be with him?
Because love make
you do crazy things.
I never asked, but, um,
what happened?
Well, unfortunately, your dad,
he never got over me
leaving him those two weeks.
We never talked about it.
We never discussed it.
And he just became
really insecure.
You know,
every time I left the house,
he would question
where I was going.
It got to the point
where I was like,
"Are you gonna
ever get over this?"
And he told me he didn't know.
And then he got up,
kissed me on my cheek,
went upstairs and packed a bag,
came down and left the house.
Two months later,
divorce papers came.
I remember that.
You sat
in the middle of the floor
with the papers in front of you,
crying your eyes out.
I could almost hear
your heart break.
I never knew what happened,
but as I sat on the floor
next to you, wiping your eyes,
all I thought about
was never wanting to feel
like what you
were going through.
You know,
after your dad got sick
and I would go visit him,
he told me that he was sorry.
He knew I wasn't seeing anyone,
and his pride just
wouldn't let him come back.
And I told him I was sorry, too,
but my pride
wouldn't let me call him.
I just don't wanna end up
sitting in the middle
of the floor, crying.
That's the thing
about love, Son.
You're gonna end up crying
somewhere.
But if you're in it together,
you'll be able to wipe
away each other's tears.
Commitment and pride.
Those are two of the things
that mess up a relationship.
You don't wanna end up
like me and your dad, Son.
I think I'm way past pride, Ma.
I think it's a story
behind that one.
- [R&B playing]
- Crazy.
[phone buzzing]
Yo, what up? You outside?
All right. I'm coming now.
All right.
[clears throat]
What's up?
Oh, man. What's up, man?
[music stops]
You still ain't
over shorty yet, are you?
You still ain't
over shorty, huh?
You're crazy. Bro.
Yo, Will, let me hit
one of your blunts.
Nigga, have you lost your mind?
You don't even smoke weed.
I get it. You think
you about to waste my shit
'cause you in your feelings?
Hell, no. No. No. Not today.
Don't even know why you
asked that. You trippin'.
You right, though, cuz.
Like, I'm not myself.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Like,
as soon as
I think I get rid of it,
crazy finds
a way back into my life.
Mm.
Mm.
Okay.
Look, I hate to break
this down to you, cuz.
See, it's different levels
with crazy.
You always fucking
with that high-level crazy.
But see, you don't even know
about the low-level crazy.
See--
See, with the high-level crazy,
you can't really do shit about.
But the low-level crazy, there's
always something behind it.
It's up to you to find it.
But when you do,
it's a higher chance
you can fix it.
Uh...
- It's like the weed talking.
- I know it was.
I understand that.
I don't even know why you
looking at it like that,
'cause I'm not finna
let you hit this shit.
Why you mad?
Look, I'll
tell you what, though.
Get at me after the wedding,
I might hook you up.
'Cause you know
I always got it. Hmm?
She just came out of nowhere
talking about some,
"I'll take it from here.
This is my boo."
Who even calls
a grown man boo anymore?
Then she's gonna
take out this watch
with a heart and "forever"
engraved on the back of it,
talking about some,
he left it at her apartment.
So, what did Blake say?
You did ask him, didn't you?
He said that he broke up with
her and that he left that watch
in her apartment and
her crazy ass had it engraved.
He tried to explain,
but I just left.
Mel, from everything
you had said about him,
why didn't you hear him out?
Because it was just like
standing there
was giving me dj vu.
- Do you remember Paul?
- How could I forget?
Dude tried to make you check in
every two hours
and try to turn you
into a vegetarian.
You know you like you
some bacon.
Yeah, and leaving his ass
was nothing nice either.
That's why the man
calling my cousin Mimi
and have a talk with him.
- That finally worked.
- That's the thing though, Tiff.
I wanna be done with crazy.
Um, it seems
like Blake does too.
Look, girl, you got to stop
letting your past boyfriends
control your life.
Not all men
are gonna be like them.
If you never let
them remain in the past,
you'll never have a future.
And you'll never be able
to let someone treat you
the way you should be treated.
Treat you the way
you should be treated.
And it's about time.
Let yourself
be treated nice for once.
I guess you're right.
Thanks for always
having my back, Tiff.
You know I got your back, girl.
- Hey, girl.
- Hey, Ms. Lena.
You had yourself a visitor.
Were you peeking again?
I wasn't peeping.
I was listening.
It sounded like that young fella
you've been spending
your time with.
Girl, he was begging,
crying, and pleading.
If some music was playing,
I swear it was Keith Sweat.
Girl, he must have thought
you was home
'cause he was going hard.
He might still have left
some tears on your door.
I can't tell you
what all he said,
but I can tell you this--
that man really loves you.
Now, if you not sure
why this man is sneaking
in your building
and crying
where everybody can hear him
and not care,
I will go in there
and give him a call
and do that texting thing
y'all do
and let him know
you're still around.
Girl, don't you let
that beggin'-ass man get away.
And, oh, he left you something
at your door.
I ain't want it to go missing.
You know how people are.
- Thank you. Ms. Lena.
- Mm-hmm.
- May I help you?
- Yeah.
Uh...
Yeah. Let me get
the, uh, number seven.
- Do you want a drink with that?
- Is that extra?
Yes.
Nah. Let me just--I'm gonna go
with the number seven.
That will be, uh, $10.89.
$10.89? You might as well
just say $11.00.
Do you want it or not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How much you say that was?
$10.89, sir.
[buzzing]
How much you short, bro?
I'm like, uh...
It's cool. Um, here you go.
Appreciate you, bro.
Appreciate you, bro.
That's love, bro.
Black on black love.
- Yeah.
- Appreciate you.
Get yourself a juice, too.
And keep the change.
- Can I get a drink, too?
- What flavor?
Purple.
Purple ain't no damn flavor.
It's grape.
Let me get
a chocolate donut, too.
MAN: Next.
BLAKE: Oh. I'm...
I'm sorry. I didn't see you
standing right there.
That's okay.
It's just a little hot coffee.
You know, uh, just imagine
if that was a hot wax.
Uh...
Oh, no. Um...
I have a question. This...
She left. She left.
I...
I don't know what to do.
[soft R&B playing]
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You can kiss the bride.
[applause]
[soft R&B playing]
[women vocalizing]
[smooth R&B playing]
See? Look at your Aunt Bunny.
I told you.
Cougar on the prowl.
[whispering] I don't have
any panties on.
Boy, stop playing
with Aunt Bunny.
You know she's just having fun.
Excuse me. Rashad, right?
Yeah, Rashad.
I have to go to ladies room.
Okay, shorty.
Mmm! I sure would like
to be your toilet paper,
make sure you wipe
from front to back.
You knew exactly.
Um...
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Mel.
Mel, stop.
These last couple of days
without you,
I can't put into words.
I miss your smile.
I miss the way you look at me.
I miss your heartbeat.
I would have sought you, but
I can't bear to see you unhappy.
I wish you would have,
but you couldn't
'cause she got into your car.
She did. I took her home.
But it wasn't
until you drove off
that I realized
it wasn't Kayleigh's fault.
I would just leave when she
would do the jealous thing.
I wouldn't say anything.
I'd just go.
But I wanted to say
something this time.
When I let her out
in front of her apartment,
I told her
that I wanna be with you.
I didn't want there to be
any misunderstandings.
I wasn't unhappy, Blake.
I was scared.
That thing that happened,
that was a flashback
of a relationship
that I've already been in.
I know what it's like to be with
someone who's super possessive.
I don't wanna invest
my feelings into this,
and you still have
to deal with that.
But, baby, that's on me.
I should have said and did more
when you walked away.
But to be honest,
I was scared too.
For the first time,
when I'm with you,
I don't wanna
just leave anymore.
I could be doing absolutely
nothing with you
and feel
the love surrounding me.
And the only thing I'm left
to deal with and the only thing
that I wanna deal with
is that I'm in love with you.
I wanna spend
the rest of my life with you.
I love you too, Blake,
but I'm just not ready.
Mel. Mel.
["Bare With Me"
by Joel Q playing]
MEL: Excuse me, sir.
You afraid to get gum
on your shoe?
Got gum on your shoe, huh?
You know, I was just
in the neighborhood
and thought
about this juice caf
that my one friend took me to
on our first date.
So I was like, maybe I'll come
and get
a strawberry banana smoothie.
Funny, I took a friend
on our first date
to get
a strawberry banana smoothie.
Seriously, Blake,
I'm tired of letting my past
ruin my happy future.
And, I mean, to be honest,
I've been going
pretty damn crazy without you.
BLAKE: Aw!
["Love Black"
by Jay Moren Playing]
Told you, baby.
He wanna be just like me.
- I'm done with crazy.
- I thought you said
you ain't mine a little crazy
in your life.
Well, you know.
In the car right now?
Why you didn't say
something earlier?
We could've been left.
Let's go.
Ain't nothing wrong
with a little crazy.
How's this, Mr. B.?
Am I ready to make that money?
Almost. You almost ready.
I think you need
to graduate eighth grade first.
But I tell you what,
when you're ready,
I'll put a good word in for you.
How does that sound?
Okay.
I told you he liked you.
So I guess I'm supposed to come
to you for marriage advice, huh?
No. Marriage...
[phone ringing]
What up, cuz?
Yo, cuz,
I think I found the one.
I'm on this online dating site
right now and she is bad.
- Come on, man. Online dating?
- Her profile is everything.
She even likes sports.
Cuz, her profile pic,
she got this pic
with her hugging a penguin
with her legs all kicked up.
I'm about to send a post.
Oh, no. No, don't do that.
Cuz, she is pretty.
[R&B playing]
["Bare With Me"
by Joel Q playing]
["Who It's Gon Be"
by Joel Q Playing]
[song ends]