Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) Movie Script

Tis a truth universally acknowledged.
That a zombie in possession of
brains must be in want of more brains.
Never was this truth more plain
than in the recent attacks at Netherfield Park.
In which an entire household was slaughtered
by a horde of the living dead during a whist party.
Who goes there?
Who goes there?
Darcy. Colonel Darcy.
No zombie bite marks on this pristine young body.
Father.
How are you able to discern that the
wound from my rib was from fencing?
Been a bit a long time my son.
I have no wound.
More sherry for Mr. Kingston please.
Darcy?
Carry on, we've absolutely nothing to hide.
Please, everyone enjoy.
Mr. Darcy.
Colonel Darcy, Mrs. Featherstone
I'm here on official business.
There's been a report that
somebody here has been bitten.
Surely not.
There hasn't been a zombie
incident in over two years.
I assure you we've taken every precaution.
A newly infected zombie is
almost impossible to detect.
Until they've ingested their
first human brains, at which point
the transformation accelerates
with every subsequent kill.
Yes, we are all well aware
of how it works Col. Darcy.
Well? Are you quite satisfied?
Quite.
- Might I play a hand?
- Of course.
Good evening.
So shall we?
- A potion?
- Flies, madam.
I beg your pardon?
Carrion flies.
They're in possession of
but one truly, enviable talent.
The ability to detect dead flesh.
I've won the trick!
A very crafty play Mr. Kingston.
I dare say, but the
buzzing is frightfully loud
It's not the buzzing that
should concern you madam.
But rather when the buzzing stops.
Oh dear.
Is there anyone else present?
Whom he would've had the
opportunity to infect?
A family member perhaps.
Good evening.
Mr. Kingston's niece is here!
There is no need to put that
girl through Mr. Darcy's interrogation.
Cassandra come back!
Annabelle.
Where are you?
Annabelle?
It wasn't always like this my dear daughters.
As the century began
Britannia was rich with the
fruits of world wide trade.
From the colonies there came
not just silks and spices
but a virulent and abominable plague.
Naturally many suspected the French were to blame.
Are you surprised?
Once bitten, the newly infected were filled
with an insatiable hunger
for the brains of the living.
Millions perished, only to rise again.
As legions of undead.
So certain it would seem
the end of days had come.
But even the four horsemen of the apocalypse
are said to have ascended from hell.
To protect the living, the Grand Barrier was built.
A one hundred foot wall,
encircling London.
Then excavation began on the royal canal.
A vast mote thirty fathoms deep
surrounding both the city and its walls.
The land twixt the two fortifications
became known as The Inbetween.
At this time it became fashionable
to study the deadly arts of the orient.
Japan for the wealthy.
China for the wise.
In the second battle of Kent. One of the bridges
that cross the royal canal was breached.
Ravenous zombie hordes massacred
every villager of The Inbetween.
It was said the sight of this slaughter
drove young King George mad.
When the battle was finally won, he ordered
the destruction of all the bridges, save one.
Hingham Bridge.
Which to this day remains the only means
by which to cross the royal canal.
Many believed the enemy was finally vanquished.
The gentry began to leave the safe confines
of London's defenses.
For their newly fortified country estates.
But vigilance is still every essence.
Remember this.
Keep your swords as sharp as your wit.
For the ultimate battle between the living
and the undead has yet to be staged.
Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet?
Mr. Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is occupied again?
By a Mr. Bingley
A young single man of large fortune
Mrs. Long says his income has grown to 5,000 a year!
He is attending the village dance tonight.
How does this concern our warrior daughters?
How can you be so tiresome?
You know I mean for him
to marry one of them.
Daughters do not dance well
with masticated brains, Mrs. Bennet.
You sir have already put them
at a decided social disadvantage
by insisting they do their combat
training in China as opposed to Japan.
The Chinese deadly arts have no equal!
I for one would trade nothing
for my Shaolin training.
You mustn't speak like that Lizzy.
I should like to go to the dance.
Do you think Mr. Bingley's handsome?
With his income Lydia, you'd think him
handsome if he had half a zombie face.
You'll make me very very happy.
Well I suppose if we all go.
No!
I don't care to be paraded like
a herd of heffers at a farm auction.
That's because you're the cow whose least
proficient in the art of tempting the other sex.
Moo.
Do not mistake my indulgence
for relaxation in discipline.
They must find husbands Mr. Bennet.
For as you know too well, they
shall inherit nothing when you pass.
Their immediate survival is my present concern.
Be patient.
Can I say you're easily five times as
beautiful as any other woman in this room.
- Stop it Liz.
- It's true.
These girls don't stand a chance.
They say Mr. Bingley brought a
train of London dandies with him.
Smile Liz.
I will later.
There's the handsome new master of Netherfield.
It was my understanding that
Captain Bingley was in want of a wife.
Oh he is!
Those are his sisters: Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst.
They say he inherited nearly a hundred thousand pounds.
What a magnificent husband he'd make.
Charlotte Lucas do you think of nothing else?
Zombies or no zombies all woman must think of marriage, Lizzy.
I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring.
For the right man you would.
The right man wouldn't ask me to.
Mr. Darcy!
Rather an imposing presence.
Owns half of Derbyshire!
Ten thousand pounds a year at least.
Welcome dear friend!
How are you?
How do you do?
I'm very well, how's this gentry rubbish?
Fine.
So this is merry?
She's the most beautiful creature I ever beheld.
She smiles too much.
She shows her age.
Charles Bingley, pleased to make your acquaintance.
Mrs. Bennet.
We've heard so much about you Mr. Bingley.
My daughters.
All of impeccable character.
May I introduce my friend, Mr. Darcy of Derbyshire.
Are you enjoying hutch Mr. Bingley?
Very much.
I've heard the library at Netherfield is one of the finest.
Library? Is it?
Ms. Bennet may I be so bold as
to request the next two dances.
If you're not otherwise engaged.
I'm not engaged.
Good for you Mr. Bingley, you chose
the loveliest of my daughters.
Mother!
What?
I consider dancing to be the first refinement of
polished society, don't you agree Mr. Darcy?
Now every savage can dance.
Why I imagine even the zombies could do it with some degree of success.
Thank you.
Please don't forget our next dance Ms. Bennet.
Darcy...
I hate to see you just standing there you must dance.
Oh you know I detest it when I'm not acquainted with my partner.
- Oh, well.
- Darcy.
You'll dance with the only handsome girl here.
Every one of her sisters is also very pretty dare I say.
Very agreeable.
Well she's tolerable but-
Tolerable?
Yes, tolerable. But not handsome enough tempt me.
Nor any other man here apparently.
Darcy, your standards my dear fellow-
Oh, that is unfortunate.
Mr. Darcy.
You insufferable prick.
It's William Darcy.
I quite detest the man.
So high and so conceited I can't enjoy him.
Indeed.
Wouldn't dance with him if he-
Mrs. Featherstone?
You're undead!
Shh..
I've come to tell you someth-
What happened, Lizzy?
I narrowly saved her life.
From Mrs. Featherstone?
From an undead Mrs. Featherstone.
I found her to be exceedingly tolerable.
Well done, Darcy.
Very heroic.
She was trying to tell me something.
A recipe perhaps?
Laugh as much as you choose.
But you shall not laugh me out of my opinion.
She posed no threat.
We're under attack!
Their faces!
Rendered uncommonly intelligent
by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes.
And I'm forced to acknowledge
her figure as both light and pleasing.
That her arms are surprisingly muscular
but not so much as to be unfeminine.
Oh Lizzy I never saw such happy manners.
So much ease with such good breeding.
I give you leave to like him.
You've liked many a stupid a person.
He's just what a young man ought to be.
Good humored, lively, handsome and-
Quite rich.
But young men ought like wise to be if you possibly can.
Not as rich as Darcy.
I saw how you liked at him when he first walked into the dance.
I hated him as if-
You liked him!
Hinted his manners in disgust!
He acts as if he were above our company and above being pitied.
Admit you find him handsome!
Handsome?
As his handsome does...
Mr. Darcy is therefore a very ill looking man.
You will not suck us down!
Never have I encountered a
man so consumed by his own pride!
One cannot wonder that a so
very fine young man with family, fortune...
Everything in his favor, should think highly of himself.
If I may so expressing.
He has a right to be proud.
I can easily think of his pride.
If he had not mortified mine.
Pride is a very common failing I believe.
Vanity and pride are different things so
they're words are often used synonymously.
How's it make me proud without being vain?
Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves.
And vanity is what we would have others think of us.
Letter for Ms. Jane Bennet.
He saved you from a zombie.
Mrs. Featherstone was quite civilized!
Yield!
Never!
She was a zombie Lizzy!
Thank goodness he was there.
The Bingleys have invited me to tea.
Of course they have!
What?
Truly, I'd much rather go by coach.
You had much better go on horseback.
For it seems likely to rain!
Then you must stay all night!
That would be a good scheme.
If you were sure they would not send her home.
Mother, I really would prefer the carriage.
Jane, Mr. Bingley undoubtedly
likes you but in 9 cases out of 10
A woman had far better share
more affection than she feels.
Enough.
Go quickly now.
The zombies spring easily from the wet earth.
Massive god...
this cannot be.
Where is she?
- She must be closely monitored, and her room locked.
- At all times.
Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
Did you walk all the way here?
Yes.
How's my sister?
She was feverish and slept ill last night.
I think she has the flu.
Or worse.
I detest illness.
Keeps one in a continual state of inelegance.
Quite.
May I tend to her?
Of course. Edwin, show Ms. Bennet the way.
Thank you.
I will not make the same mistake I made
at Mrs. Featherstone's whist party Bingley.
Oh Janey.
Miss Bennet?
The physician has arrived.
Please.
She got caught in the down pour?
Yes.
The wound, doctor.
Her musket backfired.
I see no indication of a bite.
That was never in question.
I believe that these belong to you.
How is she?
She's fast asleep.
I'm sure she'll be quite well, please!
Join us, Miss Bennet.
Oh, thank you but I'll amuse myself with a book.
You prefer reading to cards?
I prefer a great many things to cards Mr. Hurst.
- I don't speak horrible Japanese.
- No, of course.
You didn't train in Japan.
China, was it?
A Shaolin Temple in Henan Province.
It was there that I learned to
endure all manner of discomfort.
May I inquire as to the
nature of this discomfort?
I would much rather give
you a demonstration.
Mr. Darcy.
Is your sister much grown since the spring?
She's now about the same
height as Ms. Elizabeth Bennet.
I don't believe I've ever met
a girl so extremely accomplished.
The word "accomplished" is far too
liberally applied to young ladies today but
my sister Georgiana does
deserve that distinction.
Not only is she a master of the female arts but
Deadly as well.
I cannot boast knowing more half
a dozen in the whole range of my acquaintance
that is less accomplished.
Nor I, I'm sure.
And Mr. Darcy.
You must comprehend a great deal in
your idea of an accomplished woman?
I do.
A woman must have a thorough knowledge of
Music, singing, drawing, dancing
and the modern languages.
She must be well trained in the
fighting styles of the Kyoto masters
and weapons and tactics of modern Europe.
Or the term would only...
Half deserved.
And you know six such women?
I wonder now at your knowing any.
Are you so severe on your own sex?
A woman is either highly trained or highly refined.
One cannot afford the luxury of both in such times.
Ah..
"L'Art De La Guerre"
The art of war.
Have you not read it in its original Wu dialect?
Alas.
I should get back to Jane.
She is one of those young ladies who seeks
to recommend themselves to
men by undervaluing their own sex.
Undoubtedly.
Mrs. Bennet. Miss Bennet, Ms. Bennet.... and Ms. Bennet.
Mrs. Bennet I'm so glad to see you.
On, yeah and sadly on this distressing circumstances.
Are you here to take Jane home?
No.
Yes, we must not trespass
any longer on your kindness.
Surely she is too ill to be moved?
Truly, she does look very pale.
Bingley!
I must protest.
Bingley.
Please.
Carelessness when dealing with a zombie infection
can lead to your abrupt demise.
Arrogance can lead to yours.
Your defect, Ms. Bennet, besides eavesdropping...
is to willfully misunderstand people.
And yours is to be unjustly prejudiced against them.
Come on, Eliza, come on.
Mr. Bingley, I know just the
thing to break this terrible tension and...
and lift the spirits of the county.
A ball at Netherfield.
Out of the question!
The security risk alone-
It's a brilliant idea.
When Janey's recovered, we shall.
If you please name the day.
She'd be honored.
Look at her.
We could have stayed on for
another week in that palace.
I'd risk a cold before I'd risk Darcy's blade.
Mrs. Beacham's orphanage fell.
There will be an addition to
our party for dinner tonight.
It would appear your health is fully restored.
Quite recovered, Papa.
I know of no one who is coming.
The person of whom I speak, is a certain gentleman.
There he is!
Who is it?
This is hurting...
He is perusing his future property.
This estate must by law go to a male heir.
Now that odious man, Mr. Collins,
may the moment I am dead.
Toss you out of this house, at his pleasure.
Tell me to which of my fair
cousins do I owe the compliments?
Of the excellent, and I repeat, excellent cooking?
My daughters are trained
for battle, sir. Not the kitchen.
Quite, Mr. Bennet.
My patroness is not only
the King's richestsubject
deadliest singularly dedicated
to the annihilation of theundead.
I assume you have all heard
...of Lady Catherine deBourgh.
She's the most deadly swor
dswoman in all of GreatBritain.
With the agility of a black panther.
My humble abode but so Lady has stayed.
Rosings Park.
- Was she ever married?
- Widowed sadly.
She has one daughter Anne who is
unfortunately the sickly constitution.
- Had Anne been presented?
- Oh no, no Mrs. Bennet.
Her ill health prevents it.
I told Lady Catherine that the court
has been deprived of its brightest ornament.
I have a talent you see, for delivering these
very delicate compliments with an unstudied air.
It would seem sir, that all you lack now...
is a wife.
I must confess Mrs. Bennet.
The fairest wifely choices be in this room.
I declare that I am...
enchanted by your daughter, Jane.
And request to speak to her alone. If I may?
Oh, dear Parson.
I'm afraid Jane is already spoken for, we
expect a serious proposal imminently.
Oh...fuddle.
But Liz is quite available.
And almost as fair as Jane.
Is there absolutely no negotiation over Jane?
The early bird catches the worm, Mr. Collins.
Oh, indeed.
Be mindful of your talent in the delicate compliments, sir.
Oh, no! Yea...why yes!
She is...almost-
As fair as the other one.
Splendid.
Thank you ladies. Settle down.
Now I thought I this morning I might
read to you from Fordyce's sermons,
To Young Women.
What a treat, what a treat!
"Chapter One: The Home"
We're walking to Meryton to visit Aunt Phillips.
So long as Jane and Lizzy are willing to accompany you.
- We most certainly are.
- And Mr. Collins!
- Course?
- Oh, well I shall be delighted-
Only if Mr. Bennet will consent to release me from my reading.
- With a heavy heart, sir.
- Mr. Bennet I am susceptible to flattery and you sir...
are very charming. Come along ladies!
Miss Elizabeth how charming you look today.
Let us look in the shop windows of Meryton
we can buy some new pots and pans?
Take the place of your swords and daggers?
Oh...is there some sort of trouble?
Oh, it appears there is.
Help!
- Penny McGregor's carriage.
- Help!
- Someone's trapped inside.
- Jane.
Please help me! Anyone! Hey! Help!
That was a horrible accident.
But I survived!
Survived, Jane!
Not in the traditional sense of the word.
Appears Ms. McGregor won't be delivering anymore lamp oil.
I must confess.
I was unaware that zombies possessed
the required acuity to set such...
...traps.
Before we know it, they'll be running for parliament.
Come along.
Fantastic, we must try and make
elevenses actually. Come along, Elizabeth!
We mustn't dawdle we can't be late.
Ms. Bennet.
- Thank you, Mr. Collins.
- Allow me.
Galantry isn't dead. Come, come now we mustn't be late.
This must be the extra military stationed here in Meryton.
Leftenant Danny!
Who is that with him?
Ms. Lydia Bennet and Ms. Katherine Bennet,
Leftnenant Wickham.
He's just been assigned to our Meryton
regiment to deal with the zombie resurgence.
I bet your fearful handsome in your regimens.
Kitty! Lydia!
Ms. Jane and Elizabeth Bennet,
- May I introduce-.
- George Wickham.
He's a Leftenant.
This is our cousin Mr. Collins.
Parson Collins.
Aren't we overdo at the Phillips?
Walk us?
I fear I have a prior engagement.
Mr. Wickham?
Yes, enchanted!
She is baking, so we mustn't be late.
I said she is baking.
I was very keen to be on time.
But it is apparent that Aunt Phillips
muffins are splendid you see.
Is that so?
You know I and Lady
Catherine abhor tardiness
and actually it has instilled me
with a real sense of order.
Thank you for accompanying us.
And enduring my younger sisters.
It's my pleasure.
Are you going to be stationed
here all winter, Mr. Wickham?
Well that depends entirely what the
enemies have in store for us, Ms. Bennet.
Mr. Bingley!
We were just on our way
to Longbourn!
Mr. Bingley you promised you'd throw
a ball at Netherfield.
- You're quite recovered.
- She is.
Then I shall begin preparations
immediately the most
glorious ball Hertfordshire has seen.
Can Leftenant Wickham come?
Of course.
An invitation shall sent to all
my fellow officers.
Excuse me.
Good day, Jane.
There you are my beautiful nieces!
Please join us Mr. Wickham.
No, duty calls I'm afraid.
I must know Mr. Wickham.
What is amiss between you and Mr. Darcy?
Are you much acquainted with him?
More than I wish to be.
He's been here for less than a month
and already the least popular man in the county.
Yes it always gives me
great pain to see him.
I've been connected to his family
since infancy.
My father managed the late Mr. Darcy's estate
Darcy and I grew up together.
His father treated me like a second son.
I cannot begin to do justice to his kindness.
He bequeathed me with the best living and his gift.
I had my heart set on joining the church.
But when he was slain in the 2nd battle of Kent,
Darcy ignored his wishes and
gave my living to another man.
What could've induced him to pay
you so cruelly?
Pride.
He thought me too low to be
worth his consideration.
I loved his father dearly so I can
never expose Darcy or challenge him to a duel.
Come now, Lizzy.
We must plan our trip to the North Gantry.
I'll be right there.
Well perhaps I shall see
you at Mr. Bingley's Ball.
Perhaps.
I'll be there.
Mr. Wickham.
- You came.
- As I said I would.
I oughta think that Mr. Darcy's
presence would keep you away.
If Mr. Darcy wishes to avoid me
he must go, not I.
I have found you Ms. Bennet.
Sorry, and you are?
- Wickham.
- Oh, Tuan Wickham. Aku ingat.
Oh! Mr. Wickham I never...
...forget a face, especially one as angelic as Ms. Bennet's
I do hope you haven't forgotten our dance?
Of course not, Parson Collins.
Oh, allow me.
Thank you, Mr. Wickham.
Lady Catherine herself has praised
me on my lightness of foot.
Wonders to how you found the time
to hone such delicacy in your step.
Flattery will get you everywhere, Ms. Bennet.
Yeah.
The dance seems to be getting away with us.
I think it only right and proper that every clergymen
should set the example for matrimony in the parish.
This is my favorite moment in the dance!
The non partisan full swing!
Such splendor in the air!
Mr. Collins please keep your voice down.
Splendid, splendid work everyone!
Thank you for your attention.
Everyone did valiantly.
Ms. Bennet it is my intention to remain very
close to you throughout all the evening.
- May I have the next dance?
- Yes!
Mr. Darcy this is Mr. Collins.
- Parson Collins.
- Parson Collins.
Your?
Perhaps my cousin.
Mr. Darcy I have made the
most incredible discovery
No, tushAn extraordinary discovery sir.
You are the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
I know.
Well, I know you know.
- And I'm here to do the honor of introducing myself-
- Please. excuse me.
-am Parson Collinsmy humble abode
I predict a wedding in under 3 months.
Such a charming young man!
He's so-
well rich!
Jane marrying Bingley is bound to
throw her sisters in the way of others.
Rich men, and then-!
Mother, it's time to go!
Don't be so impertinent!
Mr. Darcy overheard you.
Who is Mr. Darcy to me pray
that I should be afraid of him?
I can't find Papa or Lydia anywhere!
Papa will be in the library and I'll find that stupid girl!
Edwin, where is dessert?
Sir?
- We must find Darcy immediately
- There's no time.
Mr. Bingley.
Yes.
Bingley?
- Your Ms. Beacham's servants.
- We were Ms. Bennet.
How did you get in here?
Our new friend showed us the way in!
Mr. Darcy!
Was he bitten?
- Was he bitten?!
- No!
No, he fell and hit his head!
Bingley?
Your ability as a warrior are beyond reproach Mr. Darcy.
If only you were as good a friend.
Dear Jane, we've decided to close
down Netherfield and return to London.
We're not sure when we shall return.
The Bingley's just closed down the house and left?
I don't understand.
Why would he not know when he is to return?
According to Caroline Bingley,
Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister.
My brother admires her greatly already.
Who will now be seeing her frequently and on the most intimate footing.
Am I wrong my dearest Jane,
in indulging the hope of an event which
will secure the happiness of so many.
Obviously she knows her
brother is in love with you
And wants him to marry Ms. Darcy.
If Mr. Bingley truly loves me,
nothing can keep us apart.
No one who has ever seen you
together can doubt his affection.
I'm sure Mr. Bingley will be back soon.
And that there's a good reason for all this.
Ladies. Good morrow.
Mr. Collins would like a private
audience with your sister.
Miss Elizabeth...
As soon as I entered the house I singled
you out as the companion for my future life.
Oh, no!
I am convinced marrying you will
add very greatly to my happiness.
But actually I must add-
I will of course require you to retire your warrior skills
as part of the marital submission.
We absolutely can't have
swords in the home.
But now, Miss Elizabeth.
But allow me to assure you in
the most animated language
of the violencethe sheer violence of my affection.
Sir, I'm honored by your proposal.
- Thank you.
- I am.
But I regret I must refuse.
Lizzy, I insist you marry Mr. Collins!
Do not worry Mr. Collins she shall be brought to reason
Oh good!
No.
Oh, no...
I'm terribly sorry.
Lizzy, Lizzy.
You will marry Mr. Collins or
I shall never speak to you again!
You talk to her.
Lizzy!
An unhappy alternative is before you.
Your mother will never speak to
you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins.
And I will never speak
to you again if you do.
Who will maintain you when your father is dead?
No one! Elizabeth Bennet. You shall
become a poor and pathetic spinster!
Anything! Anything is to be preferred or endured
rather than marrying without affection!
Lizzy don't go into the woods alone!
Lizzy!
I forbid you!
Elizabeth?
Mr. Wickham?
You vanished at the Ball.
Yes. I thought it would be selfish of me
to seek an encounter with Mr. Darcy.
Would've ruined the Ball for
anyone who witnessed it.
I am very sorry I lost the pleasure of dancing with you though.
Did you happen to see four gentlemen pass this way?
In top hats?
You saw them?
No.
But they were undoubtedly Pall Bearers.
This is a cemetery.
Oh, Ms. Bennet?
I want to take you somewhere very special to me.
It's a secret place I've never shown another living soul.
I stumbled upon it by accident when
I was first stationed in the "inbetween"
But somehow I believe I was
always destined to find it, Ms. Bennet.
You go in. I'll join you after I seat my horse.
Don't be afraid.
I'm not.
You're quite rude!
It's alright.
"Happy are those who are called to his supper."
The locusts have no king.
Yet all of them go forth marching anywhere.
- Brains.
- No, they are pig's brains.
You have nothing to fear.
You see if they never consume human brains
they will never fully transform into zombies.
St. Lazarus' is the key to find the ending the
struggle between the living and the undead.
We must force some kind of understanding
with the most advanced among them.
Surely the crown will support such a venture.
The war has almost bankrupted Great Britain.
I don't know where to turn.
It's only a matter of time before
they outnumber us.
- Liz.
- Charlotte?
I didn't know you were coming to visit.
I have some news.
I'm engaged to be married to Mr. Collins.
You must be surprised.
I'm not, I'm relieved.
I believe my chances of happiness with him
is as fair as most women can hope for.
And that's what you expect?
Twenty five is more than I expect.
Charlotte, if you're happy for you,
then I am too.
But I am to be presented to Lady Catherine and
if I'm to stay the night at Mr. Collin's
rectory I will require a chaperone.
- Charlotte.
- She is said to be quite imposing
and the thought of facing her without
you makes me deathly nervous so.
Please?
I'll come.
- But I have one stipulation.
- Anything.
Now when we meet Lady Catherine,
a simply curtsy will suffice.
Maintain eye contact but don't
speak unless spoken to please.
Lady Catherine's favorite Black Guard.
They can't move.
Look at this you can tickle him with a feather.
An extraordinary sight is it not?
Oh, such splendor!
Lady Catherine's "Smiting the Undead" which is so majestic.
Elizabeth Bennet.
The Four Horsemen of the Zombie Apocalypse.
When they're there, the end of days is nigh.
This way, please.
Parson Collins. Ms. Lucas and Ms. Bennet.
Lady Catherine?
Miss de Bourgh?
Lady Catherine.
So you are Elizabeth Bennet.
Yes, I am your ladyship.
This is my daughter.
Well it's very kind of you to invite us
over for tea Lady Catherine, really.
Very grateful.
Mr. Darcy?
Ms. Bennet.
You know my nephew?
Yes I had the tremendous pleasure
of meeting him in Hertfordshire.
Mr. Wickham.
Is this the soldier you spoke of?
Yes, Ms. Bennet requested he attend that
he might confer with your ladyship
about a strategy with which to combat the scourge.
A Leftenant? Really?
And tea is brought up.
Shall we?
Delighted to.
Please.
I have given you entrance to the
wealthiest woman in the kingdom.
The rest is up to you.
Your ladyship has perhaps heard
some of the stricken have not succumbed
to the urge to feed upon the living.
And in so doing have maintained their human ways.
And they've managed to resist this
most primal of zombie urges how?
Their ironclad constitutions?
Yes, fortified by religious piety and pig's brains.
Which they receive in communion as the blood of Christ.
The pig's brains quench their apetite for human brains.
Ah, yes of course.
The crown's funds have been drained.
You are here to solicit money?
I'm here to propose a venture
that would end the war forever.
These new zombies can be reasoned with.
With the proper funding I believe
we can cultivate trust
and even good will with this new iteration of undead.
Who seem to possess an inherent
power over the lower ranks of their kind.
Zombie aristocrats?
I prefer to think of them
as souls lost in purgatory.
The common hordes look to them for leadership.
It takes just one of them to realize their
power and to lead their hordes into battle-
The undead are like locusts.
Locusts.
They go forth and destroy.
They have no use for leaders.
Oh, except one actually.
According to the Book of Revelation actually
the anti-christ shall lead the undead.
On the day that shall be the last day of mankind.
How cheery Collins.
Thank you Lady Catherine, Franklin
are there more scones?
- If we can negotiate with a select group of...
- Aristocrats?
- To what end?
- A treaty.
Appeasement?
Never.
Well then the human race is surely doomed.
Your ladyship the undead will always
multiply faster than the living and procreate.
Nine months to make a baby then 16 years
to make a soldier and one
raw second to make a zombie.
You must realize if they were to
organize we cannot defeat them.
The only hope is to find a way to coexist with them.
Before they find their anti-christ.
The late Mr. Darcy would have
supported such a venture.
I have tolerated your presence
here long enough, Wickham.
Guards!
Please do remember this moment.
And the opportunity you so glibly spurned.
The day of the zombie is already brokered.
Wake and face the light or slumber into oblivion.
Mr. Darcy, you are as unfeeling
as the undead.
My word. You give your opinion
very decidedly for so young a person.
Indeed Lady Catherine.
Well I would like to say how dutifully behaved
I think Lady Anne has been this morning.
A real credit to the crest actually.
Would you like a scone, dear?
I didn't mean to frighten you.
You didn't.
No, of course not.
Rosings is the safest place in England.
You see that's the problem.
I wish those feel invincible within their
great houses but how wrong they are.
Their hubris will be their downfall.
Downfall?
You act as if the undead have already defeated us.
I think you and I understand each other Elizabeth.
By the way you championed
me earlier, I thought.
Mr. Darcy's treatment of you
has been utterly despicable.
No more despicable than his
treatment of you and your family.
I don't understand you sir.
It was Darcy that persuaded Bingley to stay
clear of your sister and leave Netherfield.
Why?
Because he believe your
sister to be inferior to his friend.
Darcy also convinced Bingley that she was
after his fortune and doesn't really love him.
How could you possibly know this?
Men talk.
Darcy brags about it with his intimates.
Ms. Bennet, run away with me.
You have crossed a line, sir.
We're far beyond lines now, Ms. Bennet.
Take you to the pasture Ms. Bennetday of reckoning is upon us.
Charlotte?
Charlotte?
- Mr. Darcy.
- Ms. Bennet.
You've finally arisen. How fortuitous.
There are some words, I must say.
Please do be seated.
Ms. Bennet although I know many
consider you to be decidedly inferior.
As a matter of your birth, family and circumstances.
My feelings will not be repressed.
In vein, I struggled.
I've come to feel for you a most ardent
admiration and regard which
has overcome my better judgment.
So now I ask you most fervently to
end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.
If I could feel gratitude I would now thank you.
But I cannot.
I never desired your good opinion.
And you've certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.
Might I be informed why?
With so little endeavored civility I am rejected.
You intentionally ruined the
happiness of my most beloved sister.
- Do you deny it?
- I have no wish to deny it.
I did everything in my power to
separate my friend from your sister.
How could you?
(inaudible)
- I believed her to be indifferent.
- Indifferent? She's shy!
Did you suggest to Mr. Bingley that his
fortune had some bearing on the matter.
I wouldn't do your sister the dishonor
though it was suggested.
- By Ms. Bingley?!
- By your mother at the Ball.
Your character was reprehensible
What I don't understand his misfortunes are your hand.
Mr. Wickham's misfortunes
have been very great indeed.
You withheld the advantages that
you know would defriend him.
Is this your opinion of me?
Then I thank you for explaining it so fully.
You could not have made the offer of your hand
in any possible way that would've tempted me to accept it.
I have not known you a month.
Before I thought you were the last man in the
world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.
You've said quite enough madam.
I fully comprehend your feelings
now have only to be ashamed of what may happen.
Please forgive me. And accept my best
wishes for your health and happiness.
Heavens.
What happened, Lizzy?
This is an antique.
- Mr. Darcy
Mr. Darcy came out of the cottage?
This will need clearing up, Elizabeth.
Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet,
I'm not writing to renew the sentiments
that were so disgusting to you.
But to address the 2 offenses you accuse me of.
I did not intentionally wound your sister.
It was a most unfortunate consequence
of protecting my dearest friend.
Mr. Bingley's feelings for Ms. Bennet
were beyond any I had ever witnessed in him.
Or indeed even thought incapable.
The evening of the dance at Netherfield,
after overhearing your mother
coldly stating her intention of having
all her daughters marry favorably
I persuaded Bingley of the unfitness of the match.
If I have wounded Ms. Bennet's feelings
it was unknowingly done.
As to your other accusation of
having injured Mr. Wickham.
No sooner had my father made clear his intention
to leave Mr. Wickham a handsome sum.
That Mr. Darcy was mysteriously infected by the plague.
It was left to me his son,
to provide a merciful ending.
Still I gave Wickham the
inheritance my father left.
Wickham squandered it.
Where upon he demanded more and more money.
Until I eventually refused.
Thereafter he severed all ties with me.
Last summer he began a relation-
ship with my 15 year old sister.
And convinced her to elope.
Mr. Wickham's prime target was her inheritance of 30,000 pounds.
But revenging himself on me was
a strong additional inducement.
Fortunately I was able to persuade my sister of
Mr. Wickham's ulterior motives before it was too late.
I hope this helps explain and perhaps mitigate my behavior in your eyes.
Of all weapons in the world,
I now know love to be the most dangerous.
For I have suffered a mortal wound.
When did I fall so deeply under your spell, Ms. Bennet?
I cannot fix the hour or the spot or the look
or the words which lay the foundation.
I was in the middle before I knew I began.
But a proud fool I was.
I have faced the harsh truth.
That I can never hope to win your love in this life.
And so I sought solace in combat.
I write to you from the siege of London.
There is now a coming designed zombie attack.
I sense a dark hand is at work.
They are guiding the enemy Ms. Bennet.
By taking London they've increased
their ranks a hundred fold.
Now we endeavor to keep them
trapped within the great wall.
This isn't the random act of some mindless horde.
They struck the palace and both houses.
They cut off our head before we could cut off theirs.
If we should fail to contain them
and they breach Hingham Bridge,
It'll be as if a great dam has broken
and they'll reach out for us swiftly.
And in overwhelming numbers.
Dear Ms. Bennet.
I implore you to be ready.
- Liz!
- Jane.
Jane,
Jane what is it?
Wickham's run off with Lydia.
She's barely more than a child.
I never could have imagined
my own face so improper.
To be such a flaggard.
What are we to do?
These letters.
I know where she is.
You have very small estate.
And yet we endure it.
I have urgent business to attend to.
A falsehood of the most scandalous
nature has reached me.
That you intend to unite with
my own nephew Mr. Darcy.
Is this true?
I do not possess your frankness your ladyship.
You may ask questions I may
not choose to answer.
Let me be rightly understood Ms. Bennet.
Darcy has been promised
since infancy to my daughter.
You have no reason to
suppose he made me an offer.
Are you engaged to him or not?
Not.
Will you promise me
never to enter into social engagement?
I will make no such promise.
And I shall protect the
dignity of a far superior man.
You doth face me in combat.
I do not.
For to take arms against you my lady,
would be to take arms against England.
My proxy will have to suffice.
Wilhelm.
Bennet.
Do you concede?
I do not.
My courage always rises at
every attempt to intimidate me.
Do you still refuse to oblige me?
I do!
I do not know which I admire more Ms. Bennet..
Your skill as a warrior,
or your resolve as a woman.
Tunggu, ayah..
What's right to do cannot be done too soon.
You don't even know where she is!
I do I promise you I won't forsake Lydia.
I'll go with you.
No you must stay here to protect Longbourn.
Ride at once both of you.
I will take the rest of your family back with me to Rosings.
There's no safer place.
Collect your people.
All of London's fallen to the zombies.
We have urgent business on the other side.
This bridge is rigged with all the explosives left in England.
It's to be detonated tomorrow at dawn.
And the last squadron withdrawn from the "inbetween."
Our boys can't hold them much longer.
If the undead of London take the bridge,
the rest of England will surely be lost.
Nevertheless.
We mustn't turn back.
Hello, Ms. Bennet.
Pottersfield.
Yes, quite.
What?
This. What we're standing on.
It's an unmarked zombie graveyard.
Yes of course.
Ms. Bennet was possible cause would the two of you have
for leaving Hertfordshire and entering into the inbetween?
If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village,
she must seek them abroad.
We had no choice.
Wickham has run off with Lydia.
He's taken her to where his zombie aristocrats congregate.
St. Lazarus.
St. Lazarus?
I know it well.
I saw it razed to the ground.
Five days ago.
Your sister couldn't have possibly survived.
I'm profoundly sorry for your loss.
Colonel Darcy.
I feel I must depart for Hingham Bridge immediately.
Of course.
Let's see how reasonable his aristocrats are
after their apetites have been whet.
On my mark. Now.
Dawn breaks at five o clock tomorrow.
- I'll make it back.
- Course you will old man.
The order must be given at first light, no matter what.
I'll give the order.
I fear I should not have confided in Darcy.
Fear the hordes of ravenous unmentionables swarming our way.
Liz, London has already fallen and
the Grand Barrier burns as we speak.
Hingham Bridge is behind us.
London's over there.
Which direction are you looking in Mr. Bingley?
St. Lazarus.
- Darcy lied..
- To spare you...
He'd risk anything for you Ms. Bennet.
Lizzy. Lizzy!
Who would steal the brains of dead soldiers?
- Mr. Darcy.
- it's alright.
He said you'd come.
Mr. Darcy!
Bastard.
My god you're so predictable.
I knew by taking young Lydia you'd have
to protect the Bennet's honor.
So, come to kill me then?
On the contrary.
I've come to make you an offer.
The Bennets
Have authorized me to offer
you a commission of 10,000 pounds.
To return Lydia and leave England for good.
How very noble of you to deliver the Bennet's
offer but I'm afraid my answer is no.
And is the "no" financial inducement?
To convince you to do the honorable thing, George.
None.
You see money is off no use to me now.
Is that your father's watch?
Yes.
Give it to me.
No.
Lydia, listen to me.
You have to get across Hingham Bridge.
- Mr. Darcy? - As long as Wickham lives England is in peril.
Go Lydia! Go!
I conquered London, Darcy.
Do you really think you can defeat me?
Always have.
You're a traitor George!
No, I'm a King!
Lydia!
Lydia!
It's time sir.
Seven minutes.
Rider!
Wait!
Lydia!
Where are the others?
I just wanted to fall in love!
If I had the living your father intended
me I never would've been in the army!
I never would've been infected!
This is your doing Darcy!
I survived it wasn't easy.
With Lydia gone, I have my hatred of you to sustain me!
The Four Horsemen have risen from hell!
The zombie apocalypse is here!
I am the one you've been waiting for!
The one to lead them!
Every life I take...
Every atrocity I commit...
is on your head!
Can't delay any longer sir.
The undead will have reached the
bridge soon and then it'll be too late.
Their not back yet you must wait Bingley!
Give the order.
- Give the order!
- Yes, sir.
Liz!
The very first moment I beheld you,
My heart was irrevocably gone.
Lady Catherinemight I take this opportunity
to compliment you on your pantaloons?
And your eyepatch.
Very fetching is it?
Function or fashion?
Function.
Her ladyship.
Guess whose speaking with Papa in the library its-
Mr. Bingley.
Lady Catherine.
This is all rather embarrassing.
But I would like to request the privilege of speaking with Ms. Jane.
Alone.
Mr. Darcy.
My favorite nephew.
You lay unconscious for so long,
that when we'd heard you'd risen
we had feared you had
joined the ranks of the undead.
Any word from the canal?
It's holding for the time being.
Yes!
Would you excuse me?
Ms. Bennet.
Mr. Darcy.
Look as though you are fully mended.
I am. Thank you.
If it wasn't for you I'd of surely perished.
You have saved me in more ways than one.
What you said to me on Hingham Bridge.
You heard me?
I did.
It gave me hope.
For what?
That your feelings towards me may have changed?
However one word from you now will silence me on the subject forever.
You are the love of my life Elizabeth Bennet.
So I ask you now...
half in anguish...
half in hope...
Will you do me the great great honor,
of taking me for your husband?
Yes.
We're gathered here today in the sight of God,
To join together this man and this woman.
And this man and this woman.
In holy matrimony.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
And man and wife.
You may now kiss the brides.
You may now kiss the brides!
Oh...
- THE END -