Protocol (1984) Movie Script

1
Move it! What?
You scared me!
Move outta here. I know, I... Look,
the car is temporarily out of order.
And it'll be ready
in a minute. I swear.
All right, get this thing
out of here, right now.
Wait a minute, guys.
Don't get excited.
I'm trying to get this fixed.
Lady, will you move your
goddamn car out of the way!
I'm very sorry.
I'm very, very sorry.
It always starts sooner or later
if we're just really patient.
This is an official convoy.
What's going on?
All right, get out.
- Get out of the car.
- I'm gonna be late.
- Come on!
- This happens a lot
- and, um, I'm gonna be okay.
- We got it, we got it.
Roll down the window.
I don't know, sir.
Can you open the door?
Could you open the door?
I can't, because, look...
See? See this thing?
It's always been that way.
I can't open the door.
Oh, God!
Young lady,
get this thing outta here!
I don't blame you!
You've got to move
this car, lady.
I'd open the door but I can't.
I can't. I can't.
I'm locked in here.
I'm going to have
an anxiety attack.
Oh, no!
Oh!
This is mental!
Oh, this is great.
Gosh, thank you so much.
Anytime.
I'm so late.
The second time this week.
I'm late.
The car?
Yeah.
I'm late.
Lou's going to kill me.
And if tonight's banquet
in honor of the visiting
Emir Khaled Abin Abdul Majid
has its desired effect,
State Department insiders
predict that the administration
will soon be announcing
the start of construction
on a major military base
in the emir's remote
but strategically located
Middle Eastern country.
State department...
Presidential aide, John J.
Hilley, was accused today
of being overly ambitious and overly
zealous by several congressmen.
Brad, not in the middle
of the afternoon.
Oh, Kim,
middle of the afternoon,
middle of the night,
what's the difference?
Brad, we can't. It's just not right.
It's just not right.
Right? I'll show you
what's right.
This is right.
And this...
And this...
Hi, sweetie!
Hi.
I'm late.
The car?
Yeah.
Oh!
Taxi!
Taxi!
Hi!
Hey, Sunny! No car?
No car.
Can I give you
a ride home, later?
No, thanks, Jimmy.
I got a date.
Hi, Lou.
Nice, Sunny.
Nice. Thank you
very much for showing up.
Oh, geez, am I late?
How come you were running like that
if you didn't know you were late?
Exercise.
Ah!
Funny.
Very Funny!
See, I can't pay my taxes here.
The joint's dying on us...
I'm real sorry.
I promise I'll be on time
the whole rest of
the week, okay?
What rest of the week?
It's Friday already.
Look, you can make it up to me
by working cleanup tonight.
Oh, Lou, not tonight.
Please, I have a late date.
Sunny, who're you
going out with?
Guess.
Uh, the Friday night special?
Oh, come on, Donna.
Give me a break.
He's not so bad.
What do you expect for Christ's
sake, this is Washington, D.C.
The men are all married, or gay,
or they work for the government.
Or all three. How come
you got the zebra?
I got here first.
Well, what does that mean?
I get the giraffe?
No. Francine has
the giraffe tonight.
Oh, no!
Oh, yes!
Oh, no way!
No way!
There's absolutely no way I...
What are you yelling about?
What's the matter with you?
I will not walk
around this place
dressed like a goddamn chicken!
That is not a chicken,
that is an emu!
An emu? I've never heard
of an emu!
Nobody I know
ever heard of an emu.
So, wear it yourself!
No, dear, I'm not a chicken.
I'm an emu.
That's emu.
E-M-U.
No, sweetie, I will not
sit on your eggs.
God, I've got to get
something together
for my car which had
a total breakdown today.
God, I'm so broke.
See that guy over there? The
one with the green jacket.
Yeah? He's looking
for a good time.
Well, I think he's gonna
have a lot of trouble finding it.
Look, I know you don't
go for stuff like that,
but the guy gave me 10 bucks
for an introduction.
An introduction, that's all.
Yeah? Well, tell him
I said "How do you do?"
Hey, sunshine, listen to me.
I've got a couple
extra hundred bucks
and I'm not doing
anything with it.
You wouldn't have to worry about
paying me back right away.
Oh, I'm okay, Ella.
Really, I am.
I'm serious! You know
my friend I told you about?
Sure. Well, he's been
real generous lately.
I mean, real generous.
You know what I mean?
I think so.
See this?
Now, don't tell anyone.
It's real.
Wow!
See these?
They're not.
He paid for all three.
Now listen, my friend has
some friends, very nice guys.
You should go out
with us some time.
Oh, no. I couldn't.
I didn't say
I didn't believe you.
I just said that I thought
it was very interesting
that you used the same
excuse last week.
No, that was last week.
Your sister's kid's measles
was the week before.
I'm not yelling!
I'm just speaking distinctly!
No, you can't come over later because
later is the middle of the night.
And anyway, while
we're on the subject,
I want to say something.
I want...
God, it's got to get better.
Does it?
Doesn't it?
Sure it does.
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, honey.
Among the celebrities
we expect to see tonight
are the president himself
and his honored guest,
the Emir Khaled
Abin Abdul Majid.
Washington insiders
consider tonight's gala
to be the beginning
of a series of attempts
on the part of
the administration,
to arrange an important
strategic deal with the emir.
A deal that would involve the establishment
of a major American military presence
in that Middle Eastern country.
Although the emir has had
to struggle for some years
to reconcile dissident factions
within his traditionally
conservative nation,
he is considered
powerful enough,
if not popular enough,
to assure his own people
that the long-term economic
benefits from such an arrangement
would more than help
his suffering country.
Excuse me!
Excuse me!
Right this way, please.
Who is it?
Is it the president?
Yes, right here, thank you.
Now, one more.
Elizabeth!
Just one more,
please. Thank you.
How are you?
This is our car.
There he is!
Oh!
Oh!
Ouch!
Ooh! Ow! What've you
got in there, a gun?
A gun?
A gun! A gun!
I got him! I got him!
He got me!
He got me!
At approximately 11:45,
when the president's
banquet in honor of
the state visit of the Emir Khaled
Abin Abdul Majid was breaking up,
and the would-be assassin
appeared in the crowd.
According to eyewitnesses and the
information we have developed so far,
reveals that the name of
that real-life heroine
is Sunny Ann Davis.
And that her selfless action
in the face of great danger...
The cocktail waitress
apparently threw herself
in the path of the bullet from the
alleged would-be killer's gun.
Jerry.
What?
It's Sunny.
There is still
no word as to her condition.
On the lighter side...
No identification
yet of the gun-wielding man
who to the horror of hundreds
of terrified witnesses
made his abortive attempt
on the life of the emir.
We have still not been
told exactly how serious
the courageous Miss Davis'
medical condition might be.
Oh, my God!
Or even in fact where
precisely she was wounded.
All right, forceps.
Yeah, I think I've got it.
Suture, please.
Beautiful.
Really beautiful.
Thank you.
How did you happen to be there?
Well, like I said I was
coming out of the hotel.
I was working
7-11 that night,
but I was late at this time
because of all the C.A.
C.A.?
Citizen activity.
Oh.
I don't know that
technical jargon but, uh...
Security guard talk, Bob.
Okay. Now what
did you think
when you heard the first shot?
Well, uh, I thought,
"Oh, my God,
somebody's shooting."
And the man that was firing,
did you actually see him?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, see,
I'd clocked him
a little while before,
you know, because
he was a little bit funny.
But uh, I figured, what the heck, he's just
one of those funny-looking fanatic guys
who hang around when something's going on.
Yeah. I see.
What did you do?
Well, there really wasn't
anything I could do.
There was no reason to. See, at
the Craigmore School of Security
we're told never to impede
on an individual's rights.
Even after he pulled
his weapon out?
Well, then you go,
uh, right into
standard operating procedure.
Well, what would standard operating
procedure be in a case like this?
Well, uh, in this
particular case, I forgot.
Do you remember how
many shots were fired?
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Uh, between two and...
Between about
three and eight. Or nine.
She is right behind me
in one of the rooms
of the George Washington
University Hospital.
And according to the latest medical
bulletin she's doing just fine.
There has been a rumor all day that
somebody from the White House,
perhaps the President himself,
is gonna be paying
a visit to this young lady
whose unusual display
of bravery,
of intestinal fortitude, of good
old fashioned American guts,
have suddenly thrust
her into the harsh,
yet warm and grateful
light of media attention.
Will you give
these flowers to Sunny?
And tell her they're from
the United Ladies
for a Better America.
I'm her cousin
on her mother's side.
I'm her cousin, just look at me.
Don't I look like her? Look!
Just look at me! Look at me!
Don't I look like her?
I'm afraid I can't
comment at the moment.
There will be a press
conference this morning.
Come on.
Give us a break.
Check me out! I'm a personal
friend of Norman Mailer!
Thank you.
Give us a break!
More mail! WOMAN: More mail, Sunny.
More mail.
Besides, I'm visiting my friend
Sunny Davis, the national hero.
Uh, call back later.
Or better yet, call me.
Lou Fox of the Safari Club.
Mom, you should see this room.
It's so beautiful.
I mean, it's like
a honeymoon suite.
I've got picture on the wall,
I can see the Capitol
from the window.
Look at this, Wayne Newton.
More mail.
More mail.
This is so exciting.
I can't...
Barry Manilow.
Oh, Mom, listen, I
think I'm coming home soon.
Yeah.
They're gonna pay for it.
Yeah, they're paying...
Who are you?
I'm Mike Ransome.
I'm, uh, the Middle East desk chief
over at the State Department.
I'm here to help you get
through your press conference.
Oh! Mom, I'll call you back. Give my
love to Dad. Lou, hey! Pay attention.
Okay, bye-bye!
Well, you sure don't
look like one.
Like one what?
A middle-aged
desk clerk.
No, no, that's Middle
East desk chief.
- Oh!
- More mail!
More mail!
I guess you're hearing
from a lot of people.
Liza Minnelli!
This is a list of 90 names,
all marriage proposals.
Well, I may have to
turn some of them down.
Are you married,
Mr. Ransome?
Hey, Donna, come on.
Give the guy a break, okay?
I mean, really!
Are you married,
Mr. Ransome?
Not anymore.
Congratulations.
Neither am I.
I know. Oh, yeah? What
else do you know?
I know that we don't have much
time before the press conference.
So, if you'd just let me, uh, fill
you in on some of this material.
Shoot. Now, this map is part
of the background material
that we're handing out
to the press today.
Now, here is the emir's country.
In yellow?
Yes.
And pretty. That's pretty.
It's a pretty little country.
And yes, of course, you cannot help
but discern its strategic importance
to the west in terms
of its proximity to the Gulf
and its value as a buffer,
geographically speaking,
between these two
traditional rival nations.
Wow.
Dr. Greg Pearlman,
the chief of surgery here
at George Washington
University Hospital
is just finishing his report
on the details of Miss Davis'
medical condition.
The young lady herself...
Mr. Hilley's office.
Oh, would you hold
a moment, Senator?
Can you speak with
Senator Miller?
Would you, uh, tell him
I'll call him back
when this press conference is over?
I wanna watch it.
I apologize, Senator.
Can Mr. Hilley
call you back
just as soon as this
press conference is over?
It won't be but a minute.
Wonderful. Thank you. Bye-bye.
Let's take our
cameras down to the floor now.
Miss Sunny Davis being
wheeled to the microphone.
Would you like to say something
before the questions?
No, not really.
Well, yes.
Um, well, I'd like to say, um...
Thank you to everybody
at the hospital
for being so nice and
taking such good care of me.
And, um, I'd like to tell
everybody in America
that this is absolutely
the best place to come
if you're ever shot in the ass.
Is the chief watching this?
Don't know.
Well, what did he say
when you talked to him?
He was taking a nap.
Now that the worst is over, can you
tell us what you're going to do next?
Well, I'm going to go home to
Oregon and visit my folks.
And, uh, relax and see what new things
my dad's invented in his workshop.
And, uh, check on my dog,
and eat some of my mom's
huckleberry pie,
which is about
the best in the world.
Jesus Christ!
What is this cornball routine?
Look at them.
Who?
Them.
The hard-boiled press.
Yeah. They're eating it up.
And then there's my grandma and grandpa
who I haven't seen in a long time and...
Gosh, they're in their 70s
and in really great shape.
And Grandma still acts as a
volunteer school crossing guard.
I think she's gonna sing the
national anthem in a minute.
Hi, Grandma.
Hope you're watching.
I'll see you soon!
I'll bet Grandpa was personally
decorated by Eisenhower or something.
And by the way, my grandfather
used to pitch
for the Salem Rockets,
which, you know, was an old
double AA league... Even better.
And he was MVP two years running,
and we're really proud of him.
Maybe she's running for office.
Come on. Can you be that
dumb and run for office?
A couple
of questions, if you would.
First, Sunny, what about
your personal life?
What about it? Well, for
starters, you live with two men.
Is that right?
No.
It isn't?
I live in a small part
of a house
that belongs to two men
who live together.
You understand the difference?
Uh, all right, all right,
let's go on
to something else then.
Now, when you first realized that the
alleged assailant was about to shoot...
Alleged? You wanna see alleged.
I'll show you alleged.
All right, I've seen enough.
Ah, yeah, would you get
the president for me, please?
As I see it so far,
she's got the working women,
the small-town folks,
the senior citizens,
the gays, and the
law-and-order bunch.
And the baseball fans,
barflies, and animal lovers!
Margaret!
Yes? Yes, sir.
Make sure the line to the
hospital is clear, right now.
Patch it through now!
Do it! Do it!
She really is something,
isn't she, sir?
Well, to tell you the truth, I'd never
heard of the emir before last night
and I wasn't really risking
my life for him or anything.
I just thought he was gonna try and
shoot the president, that's all.
Tell him to make the call now.
He's talking.
How can I interrupt?
I didn't say "give my life,"
I said "risk".
I mean, he is our president,
isn't he?
No, sir.
Sunny, do you
support the president's position...
Yes, sir, now.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
But do you support
the president generally?
Do you think he's
doing a good job?
Well, he gets paid
a lot more than I do,
so he must be doing something right.
Make the call!
Did you vote for the president?
- Well, actually, I never voted.
- Never?
Right, never.
Well, do you consider yourself
to be a republican
or a democrat?
Look, I consider myself
to be just an American.
Tell him to make
the goddamn call!
There's a call here that some
of you may want to listen to.
Who is it?
Hello?
Mr. President?
It's the president!
From Washington,
D.C., CNN Headline News, top story.
I'd like to tell
everybody in America
that this is absolutely
the best place to come
if you're ever shot in the.
Tonight, Sunny Davis speaks up.
Hi, Grandma!
Sunny on Monday, at 7:30.
From Hollywood,
The Tonight Show,
starring Johnny Carson!
Tonight, Johnny's one and
only guest, Sunny Davis.
- She's got the gun here, see?
- Mmm-hmm.
Okay, now, run it, please.
Run it, please.
Thank you. Okay, now she's
opening her mouth, see, see?
Right here,
she's opening her mouth.
She's really determined here.
- Yeah she's pulling him down, see, see, there it is.
- Mmm-hmm.
And she bites him here.
He screams and...
Coming up, saints,
sinners, and Sunny Davis.
Good evening.
Tonight's lead story,
the sudden celebrity of
Sunny Davis.
Sunny, do you think you'd
ever do anything like this again?
Stay tuned.
The news continues.
Lef.
Oh, absolutely, Your Majesty.
No problem.
And we get the base?
And he really said that?
Yes, Marietta.
He really said that.
Well, I'm convinced.
Yes, but are we really
being fair to her?
It's an extremely
volatile situation,
and she's a totally
inexperienced...
Oh, come on, Michael. She's some
little drink hustler in a clip joint.
We're giving her a shot
at something important.
You think she's gonna say no?
Coffee, gentlemen.
Shouldn't the president
be in on this?
I don't think so, Michael.
You're right, Marietta. I think we
can handle this among ourselves.
Besides, it's almost 9:30.
The president has retired.
He has a difficult day tomorrow.
Yeah, he has to
get up... early.
He has to get up early.
Okay, okay. Who can we get
to go talk to the girl
and impress her?
Come, on. Let's think.
There must be someone.
Someone who is reasonably
good-natured,
has a relatively high TVQ,
and absolutely nothing
important to do.
Tom, this is the first time
anyone as highly ranked as the vice
president has visited our city.
Although of course, the
governor is here all the time
to visit his sister Clara,
who lives just outside of town.
And we're sure proud
of that, Laurel.
Oh, here's the Cougar band
coming around the corner
at Main and Superior.
Right past Schmitter's Hardware.
Sunny Davis graduated in
the top 75% of her class
at Diamond Junction High.
She was a pep girl,
a member of the
hair-dressing club
as well as an expert
ping-pong player.
Laurel, why don't you just describe
some of the fashions here?
Okay. Well. Sunny Davis is wearing a
red smock, I guess you'd call it.
And the vice president's
wearing a suit.
Oh, there's Mayor Barrenholz.
He'll be giving Sunny Diamond
Junction's unique version
of the key to our city,
the gold chain saw,
with, of course, Sunny's name
engraved right there on the blade.
Courtesy of
Schmitter's Hardware,
corner of Main and Superior.
Oh, hurry!
We're getting wet.
Can I help?
Bless you.
Thank you.
Come on, boy. Come on.
Here it is. Come on.
Here. Come on, come on,
come on. Here it is.
Here you go, boy.
Come on, hey!
Come on, give it to me.
Give it to me, come on.
Yoo-hoo!
What do you think?
Oh, really fine.
Do you think so, honest?
Absolutely. I do.
It's like a real
professional job.
Are you serious?
Totally.
Believe me. My own cleaners
back in D.C. couldn't do it.
Which ones?
Top Hat and Tails Express.
Or Fourth Street?
Yes.
Near the court there?
That's the one.
They're terrible.
They once ruined
a blouse of mine
and it was very
delicate material.
It was very fragile.
Yes.
And they ripped it to shreds.
Really?
Shreds.
It's hard to believe
what so-called professionals
will do sometimes,
you know what I mean?
I think so. Yes.
Because professionals...
Well, they don't
always care, you know.
Anyway...
Um, why don't you let
me take them in for you.
No, I wanna do the cuffs.
It's not really necessary.
Necessary? Are you kidding?
This is an honor for me.
Really, this is another
major event in my life.
Well, I must say, this is
very impressive, Mrs. Davis.
Thank you. Isn't this
impressive, Michael?
Yes, sir, it certainly is, sir.
And just what is that
vegetable dish might I ask?
That's another one
of Dad's inventions.
It is?
Asparabarb.
How's that?
It's a cross between
asparagus and rhubarb.
I grow the stuff out back.
Looks like hell,
but it's delicious.
Ooh, I'll bet it is.
Mr. Davis has developed
quite a few original notions.
Has he?
If you'd like, after dinner, I'll
take you down to the basement
and I'll show you something
that'll knock your socks off.
Really? And what might
that be?
Not now, dear.
It could save our
country 50% of its water bills.
After dinner, Dad.
50% of its water bills?
Yes, I'd be interested
in hearing about that.
It's an electric toilet.
Ah.
You won't forget the experience.
I guarantee it.
Later, Dad.
Popcorn!
Popcorn!
Oh, don't jump on the nice
Mr. Vice President.
Ah! Do you want me
to get rid of him?
Oh, no, absolutely not at all.
Ah, nice dog.
I wonder, why exactly
you called him Popcorn?
Oh, that was his father's name.
Ah, yes.
Of course.
So, let's talk about the future.
Okay.
Uh, first of all, how is, uh...
Oh, that's just
about as good as new.
You'd have to look very
close to see the scar.
Well, I'll... I'll take
your word for it.
Sunny...
What are your plans?
I don't have any.
I mean, well, I have a job
at the Safari Club,
and Lou, well, he's my boss,
and he's really a nice guy
and everything but
business hasn't been so hot
and I was kind of hoping
for an advancement, you know.
But the problem is that Lou's
aunt works the cash register
and his sister is the hostess,
so, I mean, I'm just
gonna have to wait around
until one of them
quits or drops dead.
I guess you know
what that's like, hmm?
Hmm.
Sunny, we want you
to come and work with us.
What do you mean?
Well, we think you've
proven yourself to be
a truly valuable citizen.
We think you'd be a valuable
addition to our team.
Are you kidding?
No.
Well, oh, my gosh,
what would I be doing?
Well, you'd be acting
as a special assistant
to ambassador
St. John.
You know who that is?
Um, I don't know.
No, I don't think so.
No, I know I don't know.
Who is he?
She.
She? She's a she?
And she's the head of a
department of government
that we think you'd be
particularly well-suited for.
And what department is that?
Protocol.
Protocol?
That's...
Gosh, that's...
I don't believe it.
Protocol?
Yeah.
Protocol!
Could, um...
Could you just, well, um...
I'll be right back.
Could you just wait here?
And I'll just be right back.
Protocol.
You see these colored...
Oh, God, you won't believe
what just happened!
What happened?
P-R-O...
What's wrong you?
T-O-K...
What happened here?
P-R-O-T-O-C...
Okay, wait a minute, wait
a minute, guys. Protocol.
"The customs and regulations"
"dealing with the
ceremonies and etiquette"
"of the
diplomatic corps."
It's a job!
What kind of a job?
It's a job. They want
me to work for them!
Work where?
Mama!
Oh, thank you!
Well, exactly, um,
where would I be working?
The State Department.
And I was wondering,
does a job like that pay by the
hour, or the week or what?
Well, for a start,
about $35,000 a year.
Sita, sita.
Fa dow sita.
Dear Falcon, pigeon in cage.
Signed, Eagle.
Shak fro!
Lachi arah!
Ya la ya la la la.
La la la la.
Undu la la.
Dad, these books that the
Protocol Department sent me
are filled with the
weirdest rules. Listen.
"Never cross your legs
in front of an African chief"
"because the sole of the shoe
is considered an insult."
My God, I'm
gonna be more careful.
Oh, God, you wouldn't believe all
the rules they've got in this book.
Half of them don't
make sense at all.
I don't know how I'm gonna
learn all this stuff.
Stop worrying. You're just
like your mother.
You'll do okay.
I just hope I don't screw up.
You won't. You won't! I mean, there's
so much that I'm supposed to...
Now, before you get on that plane I
want to tell you how proud I am of you.
What you did, grabbing
that assassin and all.
Gee, Dad, that's the first time you
ever told me anything like that.
Well, that's the first time you
ever did anything like that.
Excuse me.
Hello, Sunny.
I'm Earl Crowe, and I'm
real happy you're here.
I'm the deputy chief
of Protocol,
but you can call me Earl.
And I'm going to take you
in to meet the boss.
Mrs. St. John?
That's right.
She's a wild woman, Sunny.
A wild woman.
She's tough, but she's fair.
She works 26 hours a day
and gives you 200%.
She must be exhausted.
But seriously, Sunny,
how is that hip?
Great.
That's wonderful.
The other one though, where the
bullet went in, still aches a little.
There she is.
This flower is from
every one of us.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
Sunny, Sunny, Sunny, Sunny.
Sunny.
Do you know what you've done?
What?
You don't have the slightest
idea what you've done?
I don't think so.
You really don't?
Well, whatever it is,
I know that I can fix it,
or clean it up, or...
Oh! She's priceless,
priceless!
You brought us together.
And now, I think I have something for
you that will please you very much.
This is where I'll be working?
Yes.
Oh, and this is my phone.
With your own extension.
Oh, this is very
exciting for me, ma'am.
I'm sure it is, dear.
You know, Sunny,
you must prepare yourself
for all kinds
of new experiences.
I guess so.
You must learn to accept
new sights, new sounds,
new exotic fragrances,
so to speak.
Ambassador St. John,
your call to
the Austrian council.
You must be exhausted
from your trip,
so, I suggest you go home
and get some rest.
The limousine will
pick you up at 7:00.
What limousine is that, ma'am?
Tonight's reception
will be quite formal,
so, wear
something... pretty.
Sunny, I think
you're going to have
a remarkable future.
Even sooner than you think.
They talk funny.
Funny how?
I don't know. They sound
like they're saying things
that they're not really saying but I
can't figure out what the hell it is.
Jerry, tell me the truth...
Am I one of those, "Oh, yeah,
she's really a lot of fun",
"and she's got a great
sense of humor,
"but she's not a very
bright" kind of people?
Come on, Sunny,
don't be ridiculous.
You're a very bright
kind of people.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Sunny, what are you gonna
be doing, specifically?
Well, specifically,
I don't know,
but whatever it is, I know it
will include a lot of new sights
and new exotic fragrances.
Is that your
own line of fragrances?
Oh!
John J. Hilley,
White House.
Sunny Davis.
Pat Hassler.
Sunny Davis.
Sunny, the president
asked me to deliver
a personal message to you.
You're kidding.
Absolutely not.
He wanted me to tell you
that he's extremely proud
that you're with us.
Did the president
really say that?
Yes, and he also said that
he knows you're ready to do
whatever your country
asks of you.
He's got his eye on you, Sunny.
Oh, wow!
Sunny!
Mr. Crowe!
How really interesting you look.
Thank you.
I want you to meet the Belgian
ambassador and his wife.
This is Sunny Davis,
Your Excellency.
Bravo, Sunny.
Oh, bravo, Your Excellency.
And you too, ma'am.
Why, you sure have
a great little country.
That's the girl.
Have you ever been to Belgium?
No, no. No, actually,
I haven't been anywhere.
Oh. I mean, outside of
this country, I mean.
Well, I was in Canada once,
but that doesn't count
'cause it's like attached.
Sunny Davis?
Yes.
Oh, is something wrong?
Should I get my coat?
Oh...
Welcome back.
Hi! Oh, gosh,
I wanna thank you!
Hey, guys, you know what,
I'm a personal friend
of the emir.
Sunny.
You scared me!
Sunny, dear.
Have you ever met a wise man?
Personally, you mean?
Yes, personally.
Oh, well, like how wise?
Very, very wise.
Well, have you heard
of Babba Nokda Nondo?
He lived in a cave
up near Salem,
and he only ate things he could
actually pick up off the ground.
That's very... And me and my
cousin Madge went up there once
and he was having like
this out-of-body experience.
All right!
We...
All right.
That's very interesting, dear.
But the point is,
I would like you to meet someone
who's very, very,
very important,
the Nawaf Al Kabeer.
Wow.
He's the chief temporal
adviser to the emir
on moral and ethical matters.
A man of transcendent
spiritual power.
He can see straight
into your thoughts.
May I present Miss Sunny Davis.
Well, Mr. Nawaf, this is a
real natural high for me.
Bedik salil.
Lethee syahseil kabil.
It means,
"Blessed are the small ones,"
"who shall be
made large."
Oh, I see. Yeah.
I couldn't agree more.
And, you know,
I read something...
- Al habdul lelah.
- Al habdul lelah.
What is it?
It means, "Praise be to God."
Oh, yes.
- Sunny Davis.
- Sunny Davis.
Yes?
My child, how old are you?
Thirty-two.
Hmm.
Thirty-three.
You see, you have become,
through your bravery,
part of the history
of my country.
Oh, that's very
flattering, but...
- Sunny Davis.
- Sunny Davis.
Yes.
Our children praise your name.
You're kidding! Oh!
Our beloved Emir
Khaled Abin Abdul Majid
remembers you in his prayers,
and hopes that
until you come to him,
until you are with us...
Wait.
Who's coming where?
You will accept, as evidence
of his great affection,
this simple gift.
Oh, honest to God,
it's not necessary.
This miserable token
of his esteem.
How miserable?
Sunny Davis...
Jamil a jeden.
Rolls-Royce.
Please.
Sunny, can you tell us...
We are very, very, very proud
of our dear Sunny.
And we remain confident
that whatever choices
Sunny makes for her future,
whether it is with us
or elsewhere,
that relations between
Sunny and the emir
will always reflect
the warmth and affection
our two countries have
traditionally felt for each other.
Thank you. Sunny?
No. I'd like
to say something.
Um, I'd like to say
that I think the emir
is really a great guy.
And as for Mr. Al Kabeer
and his friends,
well, I've never met a nicer
bunch of foreign people.
And that car is just about
the prettiest thing
I've ever seen,
and it really gives me a headache
to have to tell you that
as a government employee
I will naturally transfer
ownership of it
to the General Services
Administration,
and include it in a list of foreign
gifts to a government official
in the monthly Protocol report,
in accordance with Federal
Registry Order 327.
That's crazy.
I'd never do that.
The Rolls-Royce will
be sent to the Federal Repository
as Miss Davis requested,
where it will be placed
under the supervision
of the secretary
of transportation
who announced he would take charge
of the $119,000 car personally.
No, Your Majesty, it does not
mean she turned down your proposal.
Hal dam!
Tiah! Tiah!
Ami halla goon vilnon hamma!
How angry would you say he was?
He was cursing in at least
four languages.
Let's go over our options.
Well, we could give up
this mysterioso stuff
and tell the girl
what the situation is.
Throw ourselves on her mercy?
No, appeal to her patriotism.
I don't think so.
I agree, it's too risky.
Large gains demand large risks.
Personally, I think she'll be
able to handle herself,
judging from
last night's performance.
Well, if you hadn't given her
all those goddamn manuals...
The girl's obviously
been doing her homework.
Perhaps, she's not as unintelligent
as you seem to think.
Or perhaps we're not as
clever as we think we are.
What do you mean "we"?
Now, wait a minute, you have an attitude
problem... Oh, come now, gentlemen!
I'm sure she will make the sensible
choice when the time comes.
Until then, we just
have to keep her busy.
And out of trouble.
Ready, load.
Present arms!
Your Majesty, allow me
to introduce myself.
Excuse me.
My car broke down.
I welcome you on behalf
of the president...
Fire!
Guns!
Hit the deck!
Allifih!
I thought we were
being attacked! I'm sorry.
Don't stop
My whole world
is goin' crazy
I can't fight this
No, babe
Oh, no, baby
No
You know,
you end up on go...
You said it was a barbecue.
Sunny, let's be absolutely clear
about the procedure on this one.
Yes, sir, I think I've got it.
Um, when the limousine stops,
I get out on the left side.
Right.
Oh, the right side?
No, I mean, correct.
It's the left.
The left...
Then I walk around the back, I
open the right door to the limo,
I help the ambassador out,
and I present him
to Vice President Merck.
Correct.
She's late.
Well, here we are.
Now, left.
Left side.
Yeah, this is the left.
Have you lost
control of her entirely?
We're training her to be a
princess, not court jester!
A few more days,
only a few more days.
God knows what she could do
in a few more days!
"How do you do,
Your Grace?"
"Thank you very much,
Baroness."
"I'm honored to meet you,
Your Excellency."
"Good night, Knight."
"Good night, Knight"?
Hello?
Yeah, hold on a minute.
Sunny, it's for you.
Oh, thanks. Hello?
Oh, hi, Mr. Crowe.
Yeah, the Queen of Dubai.
Okay. I'll be there.
Don't you worry.
Bye.
You know more queens than I do.
Oh, Ben!
Yes. This is the
National Archives building.
You know, it holds the
Declaration of Independence,
the Constitution,
the Bill of Rights.
It's really pretty, isn't it?
Oh, I have the napkins
that match your hat.
Isn't that great?
Now, you know, I've never
read the Constitution.
This will be fun
for all of us, won't it?
And this is where we encase
all of our precious documents.
And this is, um,
the Constitution.
Very old.
And this is the Declaration
of Independence.
Can you read that?
"We hold these truths
to be self-evident,"
"that all men are created equal,"
"that they are endowed
by their creator"
"with certain
inalienable rights,"
"that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness."
"That to secure these rights,"
"governments are
instituted among men,"
"deriving their just powers"
"from the consent
of the governed."
Very interesting.
We're real proud of that.
Hey, what's the matter?
You're sick?
No, no, no. They just closed the
bookstore for the day to take inventory.
Oh, God, that looks good.
Could you make me one?
Why, here.
I thought you had
some big luncheon.
I did, but it was for some
nice Tibetan guy.
But they served food
I didn't recognize.
And I swear to God,
the main course
was still alive.
Oh, my coat...
Did you see anyone famous?
Well, I sat next to a senator who put
his hand on my leg, under the table.
Which one?
The right one.
No, no, no.
Which senator?
I don't know, but you really had
to appreciate his energy level.
He was eating and drinking
with one hand,
copping a feel with the other.
And talking about fiscal
irresponsibility all at the same time.
You know what amazes me?
Is how these guys...
I got to go. Is how
these guys have time
to run the country
when they're so busy.
Going to banquets and openings
and receptions all the time.
God, I don't know
how they do it.
Yeah, but are you
having any fun?
Oh, yeah, fun. God!
I'm having a great time.
I mean, it's really
very interesting.
I'm making a lot of mistakes,
but they don't seem to mind.
I wonder why that is.
Maybe they just like you.
Yeah, maybe.
Donna?
Donna!
Hey, Donna! Donna! Could you
beep your horn, please?
Hey, Donna!
God. Sunny!
Oh, Sunny.
Oh, God.
Hi, sweetie!
Sunny, what are you doing?
Well... A very special assignment.
Can't you tell?
They look awfully like dogs.
Yeah, very important
dogs, though.
They belong to
some Bulgarian big shot.
Come on, guys, sit down.
Stay. Sheba!
Come on, stay.
Stay, babies, stay.
Hi.
Oh, Sunny. God, we really
miss you, Sunny.
Oh, God.
I miss you guys, too.
You do?
God, everybody's
so jealous of you now.
All those, uh, big parties
and famous people
and events that shape our lives,
and shit like that.
Oh, I got to go.
Donna, listen, give my
love to Lou, will you?
I think he's gonna have to
close the club, Sunny.
Are you kidding?
Well, he's losing
money every week.
We're all out
looking for other jobs.
Oh, that's terrible. Oh, is
there anything I can do?
Well, to tell you the truth, I
think that Lou was sort of hoping,
what with your new
connections and all,
that you might be able to do a
little something to help him out.
Listen, Donna.
Why don't you get in?
I'll give you a ride
and we'll talk about it.
No, it's okay, really.
I'm gonna walk.
Come on!
Really, Sunny, I'm not
really crazy about dogs.
I know you're not crazy about dogs.
Wait a minute!
Boris!
Simba! Simba!
Where is our dear Sunny?
In the bathroom.
I see.
And Mr. Ransome?
In the bathroom.
Oh! Oh!
Better?
Oh...
Yeah.
You know, what you should do is
take a very long,
very hot shower.
When?
As soon as possible.
Where?
Hey, don't give me a hard time.
Okay.
Listen, do you do necks?
Mmm.
Did you used to
do this to your wife?
None of your business.
I'm glad you've got
great fingers.
Ow!
Shh. Not so loud.
Yikes. I feel like
I'm in high school or something.
Did you lock the door?
No.
Listen, will you
tell me something?
What?
Why did they give me this job?
Because you did
something extraordinary.
And?
And they wanted to reward you.
And?
And it's good
publicity for them.
Nothing else?
Like what?
I feel like...
I don't know, I feel like
they're testing me
for something.
You know, uh,
if you behave yourself,
I'll give you a real
massage someday.
In the meantime, you ought to
find a good chiropractor.
And I think you just
changed the subject on me.
Sunny, I can't give you advice about
your life. I hardly know you.
So get to know me.
Do you always say
what you think?
Yeah, it's no big deal. I just
never understood why people...
Some people don't say
what they think.
Don't you say what you think?
Not always, no.
Too bad.
You know what I read
the other day?
The Declaration of Independence.
I mean, the real one. You know, the
original, the one in the archives?
Boy, those guys knew how
to say what they thought.
Talk about simple. I mean, all
that stuff about happiness.
What government talks
about happiness anymore?
Sunny dear, are you in there?
Yes, ma'am.
We were concerned.
Well, Mr. Ransome was just
giving me an adjustment.
We are about to leave.
And we were talking about the
Declaration of Independence.
You did lock it.
What, dear?
I can't hear you, dear.
What did you say?
Are you coming, dear?
Sunny dear, are you coming?
Not quite, ma'am.
He's here
on an unofficial visit.
Unofficial?
Officially.
You mean, officially
he's here unofficially?
Yes, that's it.
That's exactly right.
It's not a state visit. It's
not even a ceremonial visit.
It's private.
The emir wants privacy.
And now, Sunny, we want to
take you into our confidence.
And I know
that we can trust you.
Am I right?
Mr. Hilley,
my lips are sealed.
Well, that's good.
Because what I have to tell you...
They could slap me around, keep
me awake for days at a time...
I don't think that's what...
They can hang me upside-down
- and throw stuff in my face.
- Yes, yes, I see.
They could keep me in a dark,
cold cell without much food or water.
You're a brave girl.
But what they couldn't do
is anything with
electricity or live snakes, because
I don't think I can stand...
Sunny!
Yes, sir.
We...
Our government,
the United States of America,
are attempting to negotiate
a complex and highly important
agreement with the emir
that will allow us to build
a military base in his country.
Right.
The mission of
the Protocol Department
is to see that the emir,
while he is in our country,
has a good time.
Well, officially a good time,
or unofficially?
Unofficially, of course.
Got it.
A very good time.
Come on, Lou.
Answer the phone.
Lou, it's Sunny.
Listen, I got a great idea.
Your Majesty.
Sunny.
Do you know what that is?
That is your Supreme Court,
am I right?
Right. Where your
laws are interpreted.
That's right. Do you have that
kind of setup where you live?
Not exactly.
Our laws are handed down
by Allah, by God.
To whom?
To me.
Oh.
Hey! Hey, what's going on?
It's supposed to be a party
for a lot of big shots.
Got a call from
someone in Protocol.
Said something about
a major social event.
Yeah, I got the same call.
She said something
about lots of VIPS.
Something like,
"Guaranteed very good time,"
or something like that.
Here in this dive?
Hey, didn't Sunny Davis
used to work in this joint?
The Sheik of Arabic.
Who the hell's that?
Holy shit.
Thank you.
Hey, isn't that Sunny Davis?
Your Highness, I'd like
you to meet Lou Fox.
This is a hell of an honor,
Your Majesty.
That's all I got to say.
It's a hell of an honor.
Thank you very much.
Let's go, let's go.
Over here, Sunny, please.
Hey, do you mind crouching
down a little, Your Honor?
That way we get
the sign in the picture.
Here he comes!
Girls, show time! Show time!
Take your places!
Take your places.
George, you salute.
Girls, flags over your heart.
Now I want you guys
to think of this
as like your oasis
away from your oasis.
Now, Your Majesty,
and you other fellows,
I think you're gonna find we pour some
of the most generous drinks in town.
Right this way, Your Majesty.
Hey, by the way,
tonight's dinner special
is the baked Virginia ham
with a choice of two vegetables.
Hey, Lou.
What, Sunny? What?
Who are those guys?
It's a little birthday party.
They want me to make 'em
a cake made out of raw fish.
Well, happy birthday!
Happy birthday.
Oh, hi, honey!
What's going on in there?
What's... What's this?
Hey. Hey, let's get this!
Hey, guys, guys!
Get on this!
Ladies, are you
friends of Sunny's?
We're in public relations.
We're all out of camel's milk,
but this is yogurt and 7Up.
Oh. Oh.
Gloria!
Oh. Excuse me.
This place is fabulous!
Hi, honey!
Oh, God, I'm so
glad you could come!
Are you kidding?
What does the word
"jackpot" mean to you?
You see that little
guy over there?
All right, now.
Go really easy on him. Okay?
Because he's a wise man,
you know, like a swami or guru.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay. Okay.
Hey, isn't that the Nawaf?
Nawaf!
Bobbie!
Charmaine!
Yeah.
What?
Where?
What are you...
Press?
Make a wish. Yes.
Hello!
Hi.
This is a swell place, isn't it?
Yes, it is swell.
I used to work here.
I know that.
See that girl over there?
Look over there.
See that girl dressed like
kind of a chicken?
An emu, I would imagine.
What about her?
Um, well, I used to have to wear that
costume a lot when I worked here.
It's pretty silly, isn't it?
You must have
looked very beautiful.
More males!
Ben!
Oh, thank you for coming.
Listen, I want you to
come see the emir.
He's here!
Just what we need, more men.
Your Majesty, I'd like
to introduce you
to Ben Granger and Jerry Jerome.
These are the guys
that I live with.
And this is, um...
His...
Highness...
El Emir Khaled Bin Abdul Majid.
Elabig Hamene Hamen Majid.
Just a short while ago, the
emir and his entire entourage,
all escorted Sunny Davis
inside the Safari Club,
which you see right behind me.
Those limousines are
the cars they arrived in.
By the way, the guests
continue to arrive.
The kind of guests you wouldn't
necessarily...
Whoo!
All right, Lou!
I guess your friends are
having a good time. Don't you?
Oh, yes.
Lou! Lou! Lou!
Jimmy!
Whoa!
It's Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Great to see you,
but not tonight!
I got a private party
over there.
Hey! Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Hi, honey!
Come on! I want you
to meet somebody!
Oh, banzai!
Hi! Hi, guys!
Hi, how are you?
Listen, have you ever met an emir?
No.
Have you ever met a biker? No.
Well, Khaled, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy, this is Khaled.
How do you do?
How you doing, man?
Yes.
What?
I'm on my way.
Whoa!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Ow!
Hi.
Is it difficult for you
to leave all this?
This? Oh, no.
I mean, I've made
a lot of good friends,
and, well, we've had
a lot of good times together,
but, you know,
a person has to move on.
Sunny, you could be
the mother of kings.
Oh, sure. Queen Sunny, the
ex-cocktail waitress.
I'm just lucky I get to meet
people like you. That's all.
Just 'cause of
that crazy accident.
There are no accidents.
Sure, there are.
There is only destiny
and character.
Destiny brought you together with
me and the man with the gun.
Character, your character brought
you the rest of the way.
Uh, no, I don't think so.
Sunny, you and I are more than just
an ex-cocktail waitress and an emir.
We are also a man and a woman.
Yeah, I can see that.
You understand what I'm saying?
Yeah. You want to date me.
Emirs do not date.
Uh, Mr. Hilley!
Mr. Hilley!
Mr. Hassler, Mr. Hassler,
what is the White House...
Please, not now!
Whoa!
Hey!
What can I get for you?
I like that coat.
He likes my coat!
Give it to him.
All right.
You got it.
Now give me your coat.
Now remember, it's BYOL.
Bring your own leather.
Whip! Whip!
Whip! Whip! Whip!
Beat me, whip me... What
do you think of that, huh?
I love it! Oh.
What about Sunny Davis?
Mr. Hassler,
why is Mr. Ransome here?
I want an explanation!
I'm sure it's okay.
Right. Yeah.
Now, what the hell
are they doing in there?
Having a good time, I guess.
What?
"Having a good time"?
Yes.
Follow Hilley!
- Follow Hilley!
- All right.
You do what
you wanna do
You do everything
you can Jesus Christ!
You do what you wanna do
Hey, but I
love you, Suzanne
You do anything once
You try anything twice
You do what you gotta do
Hey, but I love you, Suzanne
Hey, hey
Do what you wanna do
But I love you, Suzanne
What the hell is this place?
Must be one of those
gay Arab biker sushi bars.
Do what you wanna do
Hey, baby, do what you can
Oh, God!
That's disgusting!
You do what you
wanna do, baby
But I love you, Suzanne
I know you,
try anything once, baby
You do what you can
Sunny!
What in God's name
are you doing in
this tide of human swill?
Why you...
Don't...
Oh.
Wait, wait. What's swill?
You're under arrest.
Do what you wanna do
I love you, Suzanne
Hey, hey
Aah!
Do what you wanna do
Hey, you do what you can
You do what you wanna do
Hey, but I
love you, Suzanne
Rock 'n' roll!
Let's party!
No! No! No!
Help!
Listen, listen! Hey!
I know we can work this out
just the way the diplomats do.
Help!
Holos! Asteluhu!
Jiharah!
Jiharah!
WXED Action Line.
Tonight's WXED hot story.
Tonight's hot
story is even hotter than usual.
I'm at the Club Safari
where dozens of dignitaries
have been arrested.
Among them, the recently
almost-assassinated
Emir of Ohtar
and Protocol's Sunny Davis,
a former waitress
at this downtown hot spot,
plus high-ranking members
of the administration
who apparently had just stopped
by the club to use the phone.
More details as they happen.
This is Cheryl Greenberg.
Thank you, Mr. Vice President.
That's terrific.
Michael, take them.
Yes. Of course.
Sunny! Sunny Davis!
Sunny, thank you.
It was an unforgettable evening.
We won't
keep you much longer, dear.
I'm really sorry.
You'll have my resignation
as soon as I look up how
resignations are written.
We have no intention in
asking for your resignation.
You don't?
Certainly not.
There will be tactical problems
in dealing with
tonight's situation.
Let's go into my office.
Well, I think I'll
write a letter to the emir.
Listen to me. We will
take care of this matter.
You will not be a part of it.
I won't?
In a few hours,
the emir will fly back
to his country.
We want you to go with him.
You're kidding!
You are right now our principal
social contact with the emir.
Our relations with him up
until this point have been ambivalent.
You can change that.
Gee, I don't know.
I've never been outside
the United States.
I mean, do you
really think I could...
Sunny, this is a chance
for you to perform
a vital service
for your country.
Mrs. St. John, does this
have anything to do
with that strategic
military thing
that Mr. Hilley was
talking about yesterday?
Absolutely not.
This has to do
with simple trust...
Trust between us,
trust between you and the emir.
You'll be treated like royalty.
You'll stay in a lovely palace.
It will be like
living in a beautiful dream...
A beautiful, beautiful dream.
Thank you.
Dear Michael,
I don't know when I'll be
able to send this letter,
but I just wanted you to know
how grateful I am for
helping me out again.
I know you're going to be
real proud of the job I'm doing.
The people here
are certainly friendly,
and they greeted me
like I'm a real princess
or something.
I can honestly say
that I'm on a sort
of intimate footing
with some of them already.
Although, of course,
I can't understand
what any of them
are talking about.
I haven't actually been outside the
palace yet, but as soon as possible,
I plan to contact
the American ambassador
for any special instructions.
I think there's some
kind of feast tonight.
And then tomorrow
we're supposed to go
on a nice camel ride
in the desert.
If there's a diplomatic
pouch coming this way,
gee, I wouldn't mind
if you included
a tuna fish salad sandwich
and some lip gloss.
A poem for Sunny.
Ah, Sunny
Golden hair like the desert sun
Eyes the color of the summer sky
Breasts riper than
the ripest pomegranates
And loins like
the royal storehouse
bursting with the seed of kings
Loins that...
Gatva! Gatva!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm happy to announce
that a high-ranking delegation
will be traveling to Ohtar
to sign an agreement
with the emir
for a military base
in that country.
Hi. We're back
with TV Truth.
Uh, Wendy, would you
like to analyze
the video tape for our audience?
Hassler starts
the press conference
by announcing that
they cut the deal.
So we got our base?
Yeah, but I want your audience
to see this. It's coming right up.
Now he's announcing that
a sort of contingent of...
Yeah, yeah. But that's not
so unusual. Wait, here it is.
We're gonna get him to stay for the
wedding, too. Now how about that?
Now, was that a slip or what?
That is some slip. He had no
intention of mentioning the wedding.
No, he didn't. He's such a jerk.
That's extraordinary.
What wedding?
Dear Mrs. St. John,
they're keeping me
real busy here.
And I'm experiencing all sorts
of new exotic fragrances.
Tomorrow, I hope to see how the
ordinary people live, if I can walk.
Please give my best
to Mr. Crowe.
Sincerely, Sunny Davis.
Cover your hair!
She's marrying the emir.
He's so famous.
He's in everything.
He's on TV, in People.
He's so cute.
And I wish I was her.
Well, she's embarrassed
the country, are you kidding?
Embarrassed the country,
marrying that guy.
I mean, it's just a thing
for the money, right?
I think Sunny Davis represents
the kind of American woman
we can all be proud of.
She's real, she's honest...
And she's not going to take
any crap from anybody.
Okay, gentlemen, here's a
little list that I've made up
of some places
I'd like to visit.
Uh, one of them is a
hospital, a day-care center,
maybe a farm,
an irrigation project,
something like that.
And also, I'd like to see
that military base
we're building.
Where is it?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Stop.
I've been
set-up, haven't I?
Shall we go back?
I want to talk to you.
Why are you dressed like that?
Because I'm an American.
That's why.
What were you going to do,
make me a part of your harem,
and tell me about it afterwards?
I don't have a harem.
I have some wives.
Wives? You've got
some wives?
Aah! Help me!
You've got some wives?
You must have billboards
all over town!
Quickly. This way!
Don't you understand? They've
not been able to give me sons.
Must have sons.
Oh, this is the 20th century,
for God's sakes.
Don't you know anything
about chromosomes?
When my country finds out
what you tried to do...
When they find out?
Get down!
Why do you think
you were sent here?
I don't believe you.
Americans don't do
things like that.
Do we? Oh.
Hurry! That way!
- Are you all right?
- Move.
You really know how to fly
one of these things?
I am the chief of the Air Force.
That's not what I asked.
Revolution in Ohtar
sparked by the imminent wedding
of the Emir Khaled
Abin Abdul Majid
to American Sunny Davis.
Rebel forces
overthrew their government.
The Emir and Miss Davis
have escaped
and are en route
to the United States.
The sudden coup d'etat
came as a shock
to most western observers...
This news just in. According
to deep background sources
in the State Department,
Sunny Davis had no knowledge
of the emir's wedding plans
which were arranged by our
government without her consent,
in exchange for
a planned military base
in the emir's country.
We'll have more for you
in this report
in just a few minutes from now.
This is Inside Story.
Tonight's inside story,
Sunny Davis, heroine or hustler?
She was queen for a day,
and she claims
she didn't even know it.
Her presence started a war
that may affect
the world's economy.
Then, rescued from sure
death and probable torture,
she learned she was
traded for nothing less
than the balance of power
in the Middle East.
Or did she know it?
Absolutely not.
We goofed.
She didn't know a thing.
You see, we were
the marriage brokers.
Our government,
we were trading her off
for the base.
We duped her and now
we ought to pay for it.
Where is Ohtar?
And why should we care?
This tiny emirate
might just pull down
an American administration
and send it hurtling
into a scandal
that could only be called...
"Sunnygate."
Sex, politics.
Politics, sex.
Sunnygate.
Did she or didn't she?
And if she did,
did she do it for her country?
Stay tuned.
Senator Norris!
Senator Norris!
Was Sunny Davis traded
for a military base?
Was she in on it?
People want the facts.
I know, I know.
I got about 30,000
telegrams and letters,
phone messages,
all asking the same question.
The answer is, folks,
we just don't know.
I'll tell you one thing,
it's gonna be one hell of an
investigation, this whole affair.
That I promise you.
Public pressure
on the administration
continues to mount
in the Sunnygate affair.
Senator Norris has announced
hearings to discover the truth
in the allegations that...
Yes, sir.
...swapped by administration
officials for a military base.
Yes, sir.
We're watching it now.
Exactly what did she know
about the connection
between that military base
and her engagement to the emir,
and when did she know about it?
Marla Gilbert, WXED.
You lied to me.
What we did was we felt
for the good of the country.
You lied to me.
I think what Mrs. St. John is
saying is that certain decisions
and complex decisions
on sensitive issues
have to be made discreetly.
After all, the welfare
of the people...
Wait a minute. I'm one
of the people, aren't I?
Well, I think the important thing
is that we all pull together
so when that
congressional committee
starts its hearing tomorrow...
You mean, you wanna tell me what
you think I should say, right?
Yes, but only if you're
very comfortable with that.
Well, I don't know
what I'm gonna say.
I'll tell you this.
I can't wait to find out.
Sunny, we're all
in this together.
We, you and I
represent the president.
And I'm sure...
Mrs. St. John, you're a very,
very misguided person.
And I don't work for you any longer.
Sunny...
Going back to
waiting on tables, dear?
Goodbye, Mrs. St. John.
You're right, Sunny, look.
Let me go, Mr. Hilley.
Look.
I'm going to make
one last appeal to you
on behalf of the country.
Mr. Hilley, there are at least
four people in this room
who don't speak for my country.
And you're one of them.
Over here, Sunny.
Sunny, were you nothing
more than a pawn
in the Ohtar situation?
How did the Protocol
Department manipulate you?
Did you allow it
or encourage it?
- Here she is.
- What? Oh!
Excuse me, Miss Davis,
you may remember me...
I'd like to know exactly...
Miss Davis, how are you
going to defend yourself in this hearing?
Is there something
that you would like to...
Can you give us
a statement, Mrs. St. John?
Has the president given
you any instructions?
We have no comment at this time.
Hey, there's Michael Ransome!
Mr. Ransome,
will you expect to testify
for the department?
Mr. Ransome is no longer
with the department.
Have you been fired, Mr.
Ransome?
No, sir. I resigned.
Was it over the Sunnygate affair?
Yes.
Well, what else happened?
Just a minute.
Now, look. I'm an expert
on Middle Eastern affairs.
I was on my way up, really on my
way up in the political racket,
if you know what I mean.
And then, a few weeks ago,
I met this rather
extraordinary person
who reminded me
that I had forgotten
something real basic,
real simple.
That I'd forgotten
to say what I think.
So I quit, that's all.
Sunny, is there anything you'd
like to say before the hearing?
Yes. He owes me
a massage.
Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?
I do.
Would you state your
name for the record, please?
Sunny Ann Davis.
And what is your
present address?
1442 G Street.
And what is your age, please?
Thirty-five.
Senator Norris.
Sunny, when did you
first meet the emir?
The night I got shot.
No. I'm sorry.
I didn't actually meet him then.
It was after that.
After they gave me
the job at the department
of Protocol
and the emir came back.
I see. And the emir
came back for...
For me.
No. No.
I meant for how long
a period of time.
Oh, it was just
a couple of days.
It was unofficial.
An unofficial visit.
Officially, yes.
And what, to the best
of your understanding,
were your duties
with regard to the emir?
I was supposed
to show him a good time.
A good time?
Yes, sir. That's what
Mr. Hilley told me.
Mr. Hilley told you
to show the emir a good time.
Well, actually the exact words he
used were, "A very good time."
And, uh...
How did you interpret
this curious directive?
I didn't interpret it.
I just did it.
I took the emir
and some of his friends
to a party at
Lou Fox's Safari Club
where I used to work.
I have to say that I really
feel badly about what happened.
I imagine it was the first time Mrs.
St. John ever got busted.
Of course, I could be wrong.
Sunny, I'd like to move on
to your trip abroad with the emir.
Yes, sir.
Didn't you think it was unusual
for a person like yourself,
who had no practical expertise
to be sent on a mission
of such importance?
Yes, sir, I sure did.
But I figured they must
know what they were doing
because they're supposed
to be the experts.
Sunny, the purpose
of this hearing
is to find out
who is responsible.
If you give us the name...
No sir, I...
No, sir, I'm sorry.
I can't do that.
You can't?
Why not?
Because I'm responsible.
Do you know what my dad says?
He says that if you let a guy sell you
a diamond ring for only 10 cents,
the chances are you own a
diamond ring not worth a dime.
Well, I bought the whole mine.
I thought I was getting
a free ride,
or at least a real cheap one.
And I really have
to thank them for that.
I mean, the people
who sold it to me, I mean.
Do you want to know something?
Before I started to work
for the government,
I'd never read the Constitution.
I didn't even begin to know
how things worked. I didn't.
I didn't read the newspaper,
except to look up my horoscope.
And I never read the
Declaration of Independence.
But I know they had,
the ones we're talking
about, the experts.
They all read it.
They just forgot what it was about.
That it's about "we the
people." And that's me.
I'm "we the people."
And you're "we the people".
And all of us,
we're all "we the people."
Right?
So when they sell me
that 10-cent diamond,
or down the river,
or to some guy
who wears a lot of medals,
that means
they're selling all of us.
All of "we the people."
And when they...
I mean, when you guys,
when you spend
another pile of money
and when you give away
or sell all those guns,
and tanks, and planes,
and every time you invite
another foreign big shot
to the White House
and hug and kiss them
and give them presents,
it has a direct effect
on "we the people's" lives.
So if we don't... I mean, If I
don't know what you're up to
and if I... If I don't
holler and scream
when I think you're
doing it wrong,
and if I just mind
my own business
and don't vote or care,
then I just get what I deserve.
So now that I'm Sunny Davis,
private citizen again,
you're going to have to
watch out for me,
'cause I'm gonna be watching
all of you like a hawk.
I'm quite sure the good sense
of the American people
will allow them to
distinguish between
a few trivial and
unsupported allegations...
There she is!
There's Sunny!
Sunny!
Get off of me, you twit!
How'd I do?
Great.
You really think so?
Of course.
It's the new me.
I always say what I think.
Oh, that's nice, Michael.
That's really nice.
You want to know what else I think?
What?
If you ever run for office,
I should manage your campaign.
Are you kidding?
What did you say?
Are you running for office?
How about running for president?
Sunny Davis for president!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute, please, everybody.
Um... Thank you very much,
but it's really not my style.
Oh, no!
Hey, Sunny, what about Congress?
What about
running for Congress, Sunny?
Well, the polls have been
closed for about 10 minutes
here in Green Hills, a tiny suburb
of Diamond Junction, Oregon,
and it is still impossible to predict
a winner in this kind of thing.
Some people are calling
tonight's contest
one of the closest races
in Congressional history.
Both candidates gained early...
Ladies and gentlemen, the candidate
is coming to the podium.
This is sure to be
no concession.
Sunny! Sunny! Sunny!
Down.
Listen, I just want to
say a couple of things.
First of all, this is
not a victory speech,
because we haven't won yet.
Also, it's getting really late,
so I want to take this chance...
Incidentally,
tonight's election coverage
was brought to you through
the courtesy of Schmitter's,
for all your hardware needs.
Corner of Main and Superior,
in Diamond Junction.
And no matter what...
No matter what happens,
we're still gonna go on
together, you and me,
and the best campaign manager
in this whole country,
my husband, Michael!
And of course,
my very, very good friend
and the best,
best baby-sitter
a working woman
could ever wish for,
my very good friend, Al Kabeer!
Uh, I have a phone call that
some of you may want to hear.
Who is it? Hello?
What?
We won!
We won!
We won!
Wow!