Punch (2023) Movie Script
1
- That's not
the way to do it, you know.
- What do you mean?
Dad?
Dad, is that you?
- Remember that day?
You were so happy,
so happy here.
- I look happy, yeah,
but now I don't remember,
those days at the beach all
kind of blur into one, you know.
- Yeah, it was one
of those rare days
that your dad was home,
he took the photo.
Mobiles didn't have
cameras back then,
you had to send them off
to get them developed.
- All right, Grandma.
- I'm just saying,
you couldn't take 1000 selfies
to get the perfect
one like you can now.
And no filters either.
- I've seen your
Instagram thirst straps.
You're a huge fan
of filters now.
- Well, what can I say?
My DMs were on fire.
Maybe you should try it,
get a bit of male attention
for once in your life.
- I'll keep quiet
that those bikini pics
are from 2008, yeah?
- Oh yeah, yeah.
Don't go telling the
world your mum's secrets.
According to my
Insta, we're sisters.
What's got into you today?
I mean, even by your standards,
you look like someone's
pissed on your chips.
- Do you want a cup of tea?
- What do you want?
You never offer to make tea.
- You got me.
- Oh, you're not
pregnant, are you?
- Oh, as if!
- Oh, thank fuck
for that.
Right, come on, spit it out.
Elton's on his way over and
I need to get my slap on
and get out of these
fat housewife clothes.
- Okay.
Look...
I'm gonna go back to
uni, not for long.
But you know, I need to
finish this term at least,
or I'm gonna fail.
Look, I'm sorry.
- Well, isn't everything
online these days?
I mean, you can just
do it from home.
- I wish it was, but my course,
you know, it's hands on.
- Whose hands, is this what
this is about, some boy?
- Mum, stop it. You'll be fine.
- Oh, I'll be fine, will I?
Oh, I didn't know you were
studying something useful
like psychiatry now.
- Mum, stop it, don't
do this, please.
- Do what?
What, you think that I like
calling my daughter for help
when I'm lying on
the bathroom floor
in a pool of my own blood?
What, you think that
was just for attention?
- That won't happen again.
Look, I know you, you're
stronger than you think you are.
You raised me pretty
much single-handedly.
You're a strong
independent woman.
- I'm not fucking Beyonce.
- You're dating,
you've got friends.
You're the star at
the local karaoke,
even though you're pretty
fucking far from being Beyonce.
Look.
I'll be back by the summer,
you know, for like three months.
And until then, I'm
only a phone call away.
So if you ever wanna talk,
I'll be there for you,
day or night, come on.
- So you're pissing off
to uni now, are you?
- No, Mum, I'm not pissing off.
I'm going tomorrow. Bag's
packed, train's booked.
I'm gonna go meet Holly for a
coffee, but I'll be back later
and we can get a
takeaway or something.
Get a bottle of wine.
- Fucking Holly.
What's that woke idiot up
to, saving the gay dolphins?
- I'll tell her you say hi.
- Yeah, well, don't
bother coming back.
Elton will be banging
my brains out tonight.
- Geez, Mum, too
much information.
- Come on, Frankie,
I don't mean it.
You'll like Elton, I promise,
he's really funny when
you get to know him.
- I'm sure he is.
- Always running away
from your responsibilities
one way or another.
You're as bad as
your fucking dad!
Frankie.
Frankie baby, please
don't do this.
Please, you just
don't understand!
- Rah!
I didn't scare you, did I?
- No.
- Is your mum in?
- Yeah,
she's expecting you.
- Have I done
something to upset you?
Is everything all
right, sweetheart?
- Don't call me sweetheart.
- I know you don't trust me,
but I have only got your
mum's best interests at heart.
- She's single, you're single.
None of my business, is it?
Just don't fuck her over, yeah?
- She's stronger than
she looks, you know.
- That's still no excuse
to fuck someone over.
- All right, all right, geez!
- Cheer up, love,
might never happen.
You know what you need?
You need to get your
laughing gear round this.
Oi, I'm talking to
you, sweetheart.
On the house, such
a pretty girl.
- You're dripping, mate.
- Oi, I'll see you around, yeah?
- So go on, spill it.
Your updates on the socials
have been sparse
to say the least.
- It's different.
- Thanks.
Thanks for the
update, vague book.
- I don't know what to tell you.
The people are nice, mostly,
some of them are a bit
fucking posh, of course.
- How's the boys?
- They're also different.
Very different from
the boys around here.
- Oh, lucky you.
How's your course?
- Um, it's going great, yeah.
Well, I mean it was until I
missed my last three weeks,
but yeah.
- How's your mum doing?
- Um...
She, ah, she says hi,
but yeah, she's okay,
I think, I hope.
Um, she's got a new
boyfriend at least.
- Oh, good for her.
- He's Dave Jameson's dad.
- That dickhead.
- Do you know him?
- He works for the
council, that's all.
Had a few run-ins with them.
- Still trying to
change the world, eh?
- Just this tiny,
shitty corner of it.
- So who fancies the special,
Bob's fresh sausages?
I can even batter them for you.
- No, mate, we're vegans.
- Well, sod you then.
- Men, always trying
to show us their meat.
- Hol,
ignore him.
I am sorry, you know.
- I was worried.
Everyone was worried,
especially after...
You're not the only person
to vanish in this town
and never be seen again.
- This place, it
gets a hold on you,
drags you down, I needed
to go and not look back.
- And not even tell
your best mate?
- I couldn't tell anyone.
My mum, if she knew
what I planned,
she'd find a way
to stop me somehow.
You're not gonna get
any signal around here,
you know that, right?
- Yeah.
- And it's got worse.
Bunch of fucking yokels burnt
down the wireless tower.
You know, the one on the green.
- What, why?
- Some rumor went round
that it was infecting people
with 5G radiation or something,
melting people's brains.
- I swear everyone
over the age of 40
is in some sort of
like weird cult.
My mum's the same,
she's always on about
how they're out to
try and get her,
but she never says who they are.
- It's probably the
outsiders, you know,
with their fancy ways,
university education.
This place makes me want to
scream like that sometimes.
- You should
do, let it all out.
- Remember when
we used to do that,
scream with joy as we
ran out into the ocean?
- Pretty
sure that was just the cold,
or the sewage.
- Your mum's new
boyfriend's on the committee
that blocked our objections
to the waste treatment plant.
He's basically the
mayor from "Jaws,"
except the shark is
like a giant turd.
- I do
miss it, you know,
the sea,
its vastness,
constant changing.
Even if it is just a sea
of human shit.
- That's the
most poetic thing
I've ever heard
you say.
Don't keep me in the
dark next time, yeah?
- Yeah.
- No more secrets.
No more running away.
- Okay.
I promise.
- So we never
gave you a proper send off
the first time, so
let's do one now.
Bright lights, big
city, it's gonna be lit.
- So karaoke
at the Fox and Hounds?
- Oh well, Rosie and the Hare.
Shut until the summer,
Rowans closed down last year
and The Ship burnt down
in a insurance scam, so.
- So karaoke at
the Fox and Hounds.
You know, I hate that place.
We can do drinks over
Zoom or whatever.
But I've gotta go
and see my mum.
I can't leave her
on bad vibes again.
Yeah?
- All right.
Look after yourself.
See you.
- Watch where
you're going, whore!
- Fuck!
- It's you.
I thought you were
long fucking gone.
- You don't know me.
- Oh, I know you all right.
I know your mother, don't I?
I knew your dad.
- Come on, Frankie, let's
leave this pisshead to it.
- You're making a big
fucking mistake coming back.
You want my advice?
- No, she doesn't.
- Get out while you can.
Now, the pair of you,
you know what this is?
It's an omen, a fucking portent.
- Leave us the fuck alone
or we'll call the police.
- Fat lot of good they'll do.
You girls heard of
Mr. Punch, right?
You heard what he does
to girls like you?
- Listen, mate, we're
not scared of you,
we're not gonna shag you
and we're not gonna give
you money for crack,
so you can piss your pants
in the street for all I care.
Just don't come
near us again, yeah?
And take your feathered
fuck doll with you as well.
- It's a fucking omen!
- Thanks.
Here, take this.
- Thanks.
- You okay?
- Just shit me up a bit,
you know, that's all.
Did you know that man?
He seemed to know me.
- He's always under the
pier doing meth or crack
or whatever the fuck
those guys do under there.
I tried to help them
before with soup and stuff,
but they told me to piss off.
- But what he said
about, you know, omens,
like that was scary shit.
- Well, the thing
is, he's not wrong.
Seagulls are what are known
as a sentinel species,
because they're the
top of the food chain.
You see one of them dead,
you know there's a big fuck
up further down the ecosystem.
I'm not
helping here, am I?
- No.
- Look, it's what happens
when you spend too long here.
It'll be me in 50 years.
- Did your, ah, did your parents
ever tell you about that,
you know, Mr. Punch?
- When I was a kid, yeah.
- He-he mentioned him.
- So what?
Parents have been trying
to scare their kids
with Mr. Punch for like forever.
He's bullshit.
He's Santa Claus to teenagers.
- He's the bogeyman,
that's what he is.
When I was your age, we
used to dare ourselves
to go down to the end of
the pier at night, alone.
That's where they
said we'd find him
and his big,
fat,
club.
- Please don't, I was scared
shitless of Mr. Punch as a kid.
I couldn't even watch
him on the puppet shows
at the sea front.
- Good job you didn't, love.
The last guy to do the
Punch and Judy show here,
he got arrested,
pedo, total nonce.
- See, plenty enough real
monsters in this world
without having to
invent new ones.
- All right?
You girls heard about
my legendary Morrissey
impersonation then?
What, you don't like
the greatest songwriter
of his generation?
Well, I do a mean Ted
Sheeran, bit of Billy Eyelash.
You girls are here for
the karaoke, right?
- Oh yeah, I mean,
you should hear him.
He's pretty good with voices.
Thanks, babe.
- Mum, I am, you know,
sorry about earlier.
- What about, well
what happened earlier?
- No, nothing.
- Hey, can we have our
usual please, Babs,
whatever the two
girls are having
and a large one for yourself?
- Sure thing, babes.
- Oh, we'd love to
stay, Councilor Jameson,
but me and Frankie
were just leaving.
Got a good night planned.
- More gay dolphins to
save, Miss Manson?
- Dolphins are
pansexual actually.
- Well, we won't
cramp your style.
Although you young uns, you
don't know how to get on it
like we used to, do they, babe?
- We used to go to
all the illegal raves,
you know, big fish, little
fish, cardboard boxes.
Yeah, well, you don't get
that on TikTok, do you?
- Hol, let's go.
- You don't want
these drinks? Okay.
Cheers, babe.
- Cheers.
- Yeah, you know, he was
fucking weird that guy.
- I know.
- You know.
- So where's this party at then?
- Well, you know, I thought
we could get some tinnies.
You remember, like we
were 13 again, down there?
- We can do better than that.
Low key
better than that.
Let's go see the boys.
- Really?
- Come on, they've missed
you, Daryl in particular.
- What, is he gonna be there?
- Where else is he
gonna be? Come on.
- I should have known you'd
come for me eventually.
You're too late anyway.
I've told the girls to get out.
Any luck,
they take this crazy
old man's advice.
I gave them the warning
I should have given-
- Oi, oi.
- All right, Rolo.
- Can't complain, you know,
babes, can't complain.
Who's your friend?
- Frankie, you fucking dickhead,
who'd you think it was?
- Wankie Frankie.
- Wankie Frankie.
- You all right, babes?
- Yeah.
- Haven't seen you
round here in a while.
Thought she'd done
a disappearing act
like every other cunt
who thinks they're too
good for this place, eh?
- Just back for one
night, that's all.
- Oh, you look fucking
freezing, babe.
Wanna jump in the back of
the Rolo mobile for a bit?
- I haven't got any dumber
since I've been away.
I'm still not gonna fuck you
on the pile of McDonald's
wrappers you've got back there.
- Um, does Dazzler
know you're back?
- He doesn't.
- Well, he fucking
does now, doesn't he?
- Hey.
- Can we talk?
- What, so shall
I talk first then?
- You're the
one who wanted to talk.
- Okay, I get it,
you fucking hate me.
- I don't hate you.
- So what is it then?
- I don't know.
- I shouldn't have left
without saying goodbye.
I know that.
- Hm.
- I know how much that hurts.
My dad did the same to me.
Running away must
run in the family.
Fuck's sake. Good
talking to you anyway.
- Yeah.
- Goodbye for good this time.
So.
Dazzler,
you giving us a lift or what?
- Where?
- No, Hol, I'm going.
- So what's gonna happen
is Daryl's gonna take us
to an all night garage,
we're gonna get some cans and
then we're going to a party.
- What party?
- Come on, fasten your
seatbelts, both of you.
It's gonna be lit.
- No, it's not 'cause I'm
not going fucking anywhere.
- I'm not going,
especially with him.
- What the fuck?
- Who are these people?
- They're the first
canaries of gentrification.
They want to open a vegan cafe
where Dirty Dave's
chip shop used to be,
you know, before the incident.
- What, I go away for two
minutes and this happens?
- Hol!
- Hey, lovely.
Oh, ah, this is Justin
and this is Tamaryn.
Guys, this is Frankie,
my old best mate.
Well, she's still my best mate,
she just went away for uni.
- Oh, cool, whereabouts?
- Um, Loughborough,
yeah, doing art.
- That is so cool,
I'm a sculptor myself,
working with found objects.
I call it decolonizing
the detritus
of the maritime patriarchy.
- And I call it collecting
shit from the beach.
- What about you, what's
your ah, medium of choice?
- I like painting, you know.
- Fascinating.
We should go for a drink?
Maybe take some
peyote, chat about art,
what it means to us, et cetera?
- Yeah, maybe later.
- You girls had one of these?
- Thanks.
- Go on.
They're free, don't worry.
Justin got them from Amsterdam.
Come on, Justin.
I'm sure these girls have
got loads to catch up on.
- Yeah, sure, I'll speak
to you in a bit, ladies.
- So what do you think?
- To what?
- You know.
- What, him?
- And the girl.
They're a couple,
but they're poly.
They've asked me to do
a threesome.
- Oh, fuck off.
There isn't any threesomes
and glow up paint orgies here,
this is just some sort
of fucking elaborate hoax
to get me to stay, innit?
You know, what happened
to when we were like 13
and we'd sit on a pier
and chat shit for hours?
I miss those days.
- Come on, this
place can change.
I can change.
Give me yours, I need
it for the threesome.
- No way.
- Come on, you know you
don't touch this stuff.
- Yeah, I know I
don't, I know that,
but it is my last night, innit?
So fuck it.
- Yes.
- Good vibes only now,
here and now, darling.
- Stop.
- No fucker's gonna ruin
it for me, that's for sure.
- It's out,
it's out, it's out.
Stop it.
I need a piss.
- You slag.
- Oh, oh, oh, hello.
- Aye, aye!
- Hey, get your tits out!
Get your tits out.
- Yeah.
- Hey, why the long face, sexy?
- The
blushing bride.
- Oh my God, is it a stripper?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Right, I ordered a
copper, all right?
Where's the copper? We
wanna see the copper.
- You should
get your cock out anyway.
Get your fucking cock
out, I wanna see it.
Eh, I wanna see how big it is.
- How small it is, squeeze it.
- Out! I wanna see it.
- Whatever will
your future husband say?
- No, don't talk about Darius.
- Oh, he's fucking useless.
He's with them slags in
the strip club, isn't he?
Um, do you fancy a nosh under
the pier or what, 'cause?
- Oh yeah.
- I'm gagging.
- She's good, she's
really, really good.
- I'm really good.
- If you
think you can handle it.
- No, let's go, go find
the girls, come on.
- No, I like a bit
hard wood, come on.
- No, come on.
- Oh, you
can't leave now, girls,
you've got me all excited.
Ah!
- Get off her!
No, stop!
No, no, no, stop it!
Stop!
- Weddings
always get me choked up too.
- Oh my God, leave
her alone, get back.
No, no, no, no, no!
Fuck you, fuck you!
- Always
the bridesmaid.
Never the bride.
- No, please, no!
- Whoa.
- Mate,
what the fuck?
Can't you see
we're busy in here?
- Ssh!
Come on, let's do this properly.
- Sweet.
- No, fuck's
sake! I don't mean like that.
- Fucking hell.
- I mean,
talk.
- To me?
What?
- What?
- What?
- What?
You know I'm sorry.
Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.
- Yeah, well, you did.
Look, you can't just run away
from your feelings, Frankie,
sometimes you've
gotta face them.
Or some shit, innit? I
don't know, don't ask me.
- Yeah, you're not
the first person
that's said that to me today.
I did miss you, you know?
- Yeah and I um...
I fucking love you, Frankie.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Or is that just
the drugs talking?
- Oh, a little from column A.
- Little from column B.
- B.
- Yeah.
Oh, that's the most romantic
thing anyone's ever said to me.
- Really?
- Of course not, you
fucking dickhead.
- Fuck's sake, Frankie.
- But it'll do.
- Fuck.
- For fuck's sake.
- Shit.
- Ssh!
Can't believe you've
forgotten how to do it.
Just unclip it.
- Oh!
- Jesus, Hol.
One threesome ain't
enough for you?
- You both wish.
Come on, we're leaving,
get your kit on.
- What? what about-
- The threesome's off.
Justin and Tamaryn had a
massive row, now she's crying
and now he's downing
home-brew with some jugglers
This party's turning to shit.
- Sounds like it just
got started to me.
- Shut up, Dazzler.
Me and Tam are
going to the beach,
get away from all these boys.
- What about me?
- What about you?
- Who
the fuck's this clown?
- I'm Mr. Punch.
Who the fuck are you?
How do you murder a clown?
You go straight for the jugular.
- Hey, babe.
- Now
what do we have here?
- G'day, mate, come in,
the water's so nice.
Do you want some?
You look like you need
to chill the fuck out.
- I'll be
back for you later, babe.
Please excuse me for one moment.
- Ready or not,
here I come.
- What the fuck?
- What's long
and hard and fucks kids?
Uh!
- James!
Fuck.
- What the fuck
is wrong with you?
- Simon, tell him,
please, what the fuck?
Uh!
- Let that
sink in.
James.
- Well,
I can do you too.
Want a taste of this?
- No!
Uh!
- Time to
get back in the closet.
Uh!
- I said back in the closet.
Who's a pretty boy then?
Not you!
Not anymore!
Frankie, where are you?
- Fuck, man!
Oh shit, bloody keys.
What?
Take the car.
Take-take my weed, take my
treat, it's a fucking mint.
- Naughty boy.
Were you going to
drink and drive?
- No, no, I promise, look.
Take my keys.
You want a hand job, is that it?
Look, I'll spit on it
but I won't suck it.
Okay, okay, I'll suck it, just
let me fucking breathe, man.
- I just wanna know
where your little friends are.
- Who?
- Wrong answer.
Aw, sleep tight.
- Guys, we definitely
made the right choice.
That party was going
downhill real fast.
- I don't know, I was
having a pretty good time.
- It's so beautiful out here.
Got the fire and the
sound of the waves.
You know, I'm so glad that
I moved out of the city
to somewhere so,
just so peaceful.
- Yeah.
It's okay, I suppose.
We should go.
We should go like
skinny dipping!
Yes!
Surrender ourselves to the waves
and just feel Mother
Nature on our skin.
Yes!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Look at that!
- Is she for real?
- Shut up.
- Whoo!
- You'll die of hyperthermia
before you even get a
lung full of effluence.
We can go to Davy Wavy's
Waterpark tomorrow.
It's got a wave machine
and everything, much safer.
- Okay.
- You big city folk have a
lot to learn from us yokels.
- Hm.
- Yeah, you know, Hol, it was
a good idea coming out here.
Somewhere romantic.
- Ugh!
- Are you reconsidering
moving away?
- Oh, don't be my mum again.
Just let me enjoy
this one night.
- I get you.
- Right, I'm gonna go piss.
- Thanks for ruining the moment.
- Shut up,
I've had like 20 beers,
what do you expect?
- Bollocks, have you, you've
had about half that.
- Ah, Dazzler, keep walking,
don't wanna hear you.
So you and Daryl
an item again then?
- Don't know.
Feels right,
right now.
We'll deal with the awkward
shit in the morning.
- I mean, he's just,
I don't know, like
not your type.
- And how do you
know what my type is?
- I'm not being horrible, hun.
It's just...
You're an artist studying at uni
and well, he's just...
- The last book he read
was "The Gruffalo,"
he only managed to
finish that last year.
- You two don't
know him like I do.
He's funny, he's
smart, proper caring,
just hides it
really fucking well.
- Really fucking well.
- Yeah, all right.
He's a monosyllabic dickhead
that gets on better with cars
than he does with, you
know, people, but...
He's my monosyllabic dickhead.
- Sounds like love to me.
- Mm-hm.
- Shut up, does it.
Oh dear.
- What?
- You really
pissed on your chips now.
- Who the fuck are you
supposed to be, you silly cunt?
- I'm Mr. Punch
and I know the way to do it.
- Step off it,
I'll spark you clean out.
- Oh, you wanna
give Mr. Punch a punch, do you?
Come on then, big man.
If you come at Mr. Punch,
you'd better not miss.
Uh!
Come on, boy.
Are you a piece of cod?
You're about to get
battered.
- Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- This sort of weird
high-pitched voice
- It's just the wind or the sea.
- Or a
seagull eating a rat.
- A rat?
- Yeah.
These boats are full
of them, big as cats.
Luckily, the seagulls
are as big as vultures.
Or it could be
Mr. Punch, course.
- I remember saying
good vibes only tonight.
Cut it out.
- Who's Mr. Punch?
- You don't wanna know.
- Come on, Frankie.
If Tam here wants to
be part of our group,
then she needs to
be kept up to speed
with the local celebrities.
- Ignore her, Tam,
he's just someone our parents
used to warn us about,
he scared me shitless.
- Legend says that he
stalks the town at night
looking for teenagers,
girls misbehaving in particular.
He hits their heads
with a big fat club.
Toxic masculinity in the flesh.
And on nights like this,
when the wind howls,
we can hear him laughing as
he murders another teenager
that was doing something
they shouldn't.
- He's not real, like he
doesn't actually exist, right?
- Of course he
doesn't.
- Oh yes, he does.
- Daryl.
- If that's you, Dazzler,
I'll feed your dick
to the fucking sand rats!
- Yeah, Daryl, come
on, knock it off.
It's not funny.
- Oh yes, it is.
- Look, Daryl, really
not fucking funny.
- Hol,
I w-wanna go home, I don't
like it out here anymore.
- Yeah, same,
let's leave Frankie
with the least fucking
funny dickhead in the world!
- Hey, you can't
leave me on my own.
- Oh, you're
not alone, Frankie.
I hope she's carbon neutral.
- Frankie, he can't
follow the both of us.
- Daryl!
Daryl.
- Hello.
- Emergency, which service?
- Police and fucking police.
Okay, can you calmly
state your location and
what your emergency is?
- The-the beach, just-just
past the caravan park and...
There's a man in a
mask, a Punch mask.
Hello?
- You can
never get a signal,
when you need it,
can you?
Snitches get
stitches.
Time to sleep with the
dolphins.
What do you call a
man stuck out at sea?
Bob, you get it?
Tough crowd.
- Frankie.
Frankie, Frankie, it's me,
it's me, it's me, it's me.
- What did he do to you?
- Fuck, I've had worse.
- Holly and-and Tamaryn.
- Right, okay.
- Frankie, listen to me!
- Holly and Tamaryn!
- Frankie, Frankie, listen
to me, for fuck's sake!
Frankie.
- I can't.
- Oh, how sweet.
Hey Frankie, you should
be with a real man,
not a little boy.
- No!
- Frankie, take this.
Frankie, take it and
if he gets past me,
then you fucking
stab him, right?
- No!
- Run, Frankie, run!
- No!
- Roll up, roll
up, all the fun of the fair!
Uh!
- Home
run.
I thought he was
never gonna shut up.
But now.
- No!
- Now, you and me,
we can have some
quality time together.
Talk about those
daddy issues of yours.
- Please.
Open the door.
Please, you have to
help me, please, please.
- I can't, I-I'm sorry, babe.
- No, please,
you don't understand.
You heard her.
- Oh!
- We can't help you.
- Please.
- The only way to
keep Mr. Punch away
is to be a good girl
and do as you're told.
Isn't that right?
So fuck off.
- Please.
Please.
- Yeah, fuck off, please.
- No, please!
Open the door, please!
No.
- Don't you
know the rules, Frankie?
- No!
- When
the caravan's rocking,
don't come a-knocking.
- Help!
Help!
Help!
- You all right, miss?
You been drinking?
How about drugs?
Listen, you need to calm down.
- No!
There's a man in a mask and
he-he tried to kill my friend!
- All right, look, look, look,
we've obviously got a
lot to unpack here, eh?
Listen, why don't you come
down to the station with me,
we can get a proper statement
and maybe get you a
bed for the night, eh?
- No, no.
My friend, she...
- Oi, I asked nicely,
don't make me use force.
Get into the back of the car.
- I can't, what are
you, what are you doing?
- Don't make me use these,
I will if necessary.
Now take a seat in the back.
- No.
- Oh, what now?
- He...
He's behind, he's behind you.
- Look, this ain't a pantomime.
Oh yes, it is.
You'll never take me
alive, officer.
- No!
Please, please don't!
- No!
- I say, I say...
What's the difference between
five dicks and a joke?
Your mother can't take
a joke!
You can't run from your
problems forever, Frankie.
Sooner or later, they're
going to catch up with you
and when they do.
I fucking hate
clowns.
Jackpot!
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on, Frankie.
You know how the song goes.
- Okay, okay, you win!
- Eh?
I say, I say,
what do you say to a
woman with two black eyes?
Come on, Frankie,
what do you say?
- I don't know!
- Nothing, you
already told her twice!
See, I still think
you need to be taught
a little lesson, Frankie.
Just a little one, something
short and sharp.
You call that a knife?
Uh!
- Fuck.
Ow!
- Roll up,
roll up, grab a prize.
Get off!
Uh!
Frankie.
Where are you?
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
- Fucking signal.
Where is she, where is she?
Where are you, Frankie, eh?
Fucking signal.
- I fucking knew it.
- Yeah it's me.
No.
No, babe, she's gone.
Stupid bitch jumped
just like her waste
of a space father.
But just in case she
managed to slip by me,
put out the pass
signal, everyone.
No, I'll tell Judy.
I said I'll tell Judy.
You just make sure that
everyone knows the drill.
- Hey, Frankie.
- That's one way to do
it, you fucking cunt.
Come on, Mum, pick up please.
Mum?
Are you okay?
- Oh, Frankie.
- Mum.
- Oh, baby.
- Are
you, are you okay?
- You're okay.
- I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, I should
have believed you.
You weren't being paranoid.
There is something out
there, something evil.
And I need to tell you
something about Elton.
- What about him, sweetheart?
- Mum, he's the evil,
I saw him out there,
he's tried to kill people,
he tried to kill me,
I think he's killed Daryl
and I can't get hold of Holly
'cause there's no
fucking signal anywhere.
But you're the only one I
care about that's alive.
- Oh, it's all right,
it's all right, sweetheart.
I've got you.
I've got you.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- What...
What's that?
- What's what?
- Oh, this?
This is just for a little game,
like a local tradition.
Mr. Punch will be here soon.
- No.
- And we,
we can all be a family again.
- Mum.
What have they done to you?
- And
you call me paranoid.
Here he is.
Now, be a doll, go
and answer the door.
- No fucking way.
Mum, please, we can fix
this, we can get out of here.
We can have a clean
slate, please, please.
Just please, just take
off this fucking mask.
- Mr. Punch is
the man of the house.
- Do not open that fucking door.
- Mr. Punch is
the man of the house.
Now we can't leave
him waiting outside.
- Mum, don't open
the door please.
Okay.
- He'll just
have to use his key.
- Why?
- You
wouldn't understand,
but one day,
you will.
- It's
true.
We always hurt the ones we love.
- And I know he's
just his showing affection.
- You don't
understand what an honor it is
for the good people of this town
to choose me as this
year's Mr. Punch.
- To pick
me as his Judy.
Oh, it was, it was
just so wonderful.
It was like we're
local celebrities
or royalty even.
- Why don't
you run along, Frankie
and pop the kettle on?
We can have a nice family chat,
fill you in on a
few home truths.
Look at me.
Look at me!
Don't cry, Frankie.
You're so pretty, Frankie.
Do you wanna stay the night?
You know,
with great power
comes great responsibility.
It's not for everyone,
this Mr. Punch lark.
Your father, for example,
he just couldn't handle it.
Oh yeah.
It's about time you
learnt the truth
about your father
and why he jumped.
But you, I mean, you are
made of much sterner stuff,
aren't you, Frankie?
Maybe one day,
you will make a wonderful
Judy for someone.
- My little girl.
- Maybe even me.
There's nothing like
a nice cup of tea.
- Oh!
- What have you done?
- It's tough love,
Mum, trust me.
The police.
- Now then,
now then, what's occurring?
We've had reports you've
been a naughty girl.
- Please!
Please!
Make it stop, please, please!
Mum!
- Don't you see, dear,
how much you mean to
me, to this whole town?
- Stop!
- It's
the chop for you.
- Smile,
you're on "Candid Camera."
- Mum, please.
Please.
No!
- Sorry, baby, but
it's for your own good.
- Punch
is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead, long live Punch.
- No, please!
- Punch
is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead.
- That's the
way to do it.
- That's not
the way to do it, you know.
- What do you mean?
Dad?
Dad, is that you?
- Remember that day?
You were so happy,
so happy here.
- I look happy, yeah,
but now I don't remember,
those days at the beach all
kind of blur into one, you know.
- Yeah, it was one
of those rare days
that your dad was home,
he took the photo.
Mobiles didn't have
cameras back then,
you had to send them off
to get them developed.
- All right, Grandma.
- I'm just saying,
you couldn't take 1000 selfies
to get the perfect
one like you can now.
And no filters either.
- I've seen your
Instagram thirst straps.
You're a huge fan
of filters now.
- Well, what can I say?
My DMs were on fire.
Maybe you should try it,
get a bit of male attention
for once in your life.
- I'll keep quiet
that those bikini pics
are from 2008, yeah?
- Oh yeah, yeah.
Don't go telling the
world your mum's secrets.
According to my
Insta, we're sisters.
What's got into you today?
I mean, even by your standards,
you look like someone's
pissed on your chips.
- Do you want a cup of tea?
- What do you want?
You never offer to make tea.
- You got me.
- Oh, you're not
pregnant, are you?
- Oh, as if!
- Oh, thank fuck
for that.
Right, come on, spit it out.
Elton's on his way over and
I need to get my slap on
and get out of these
fat housewife clothes.
- Okay.
Look...
I'm gonna go back to
uni, not for long.
But you know, I need to
finish this term at least,
or I'm gonna fail.
Look, I'm sorry.
- Well, isn't everything
online these days?
I mean, you can just
do it from home.
- I wish it was, but my course,
you know, it's hands on.
- Whose hands, is this what
this is about, some boy?
- Mum, stop it. You'll be fine.
- Oh, I'll be fine, will I?
Oh, I didn't know you were
studying something useful
like psychiatry now.
- Mum, stop it, don't
do this, please.
- Do what?
What, you think that I like
calling my daughter for help
when I'm lying on
the bathroom floor
in a pool of my own blood?
What, you think that
was just for attention?
- That won't happen again.
Look, I know you, you're
stronger than you think you are.
You raised me pretty
much single-handedly.
You're a strong
independent woman.
- I'm not fucking Beyonce.
- You're dating,
you've got friends.
You're the star at
the local karaoke,
even though you're pretty
fucking far from being Beyonce.
Look.
I'll be back by the summer,
you know, for like three months.
And until then, I'm
only a phone call away.
So if you ever wanna talk,
I'll be there for you,
day or night, come on.
- So you're pissing off
to uni now, are you?
- No, Mum, I'm not pissing off.
I'm going tomorrow. Bag's
packed, train's booked.
I'm gonna go meet Holly for a
coffee, but I'll be back later
and we can get a
takeaway or something.
Get a bottle of wine.
- Fucking Holly.
What's that woke idiot up
to, saving the gay dolphins?
- I'll tell her you say hi.
- Yeah, well, don't
bother coming back.
Elton will be banging
my brains out tonight.
- Geez, Mum, too
much information.
- Come on, Frankie,
I don't mean it.
You'll like Elton, I promise,
he's really funny when
you get to know him.
- I'm sure he is.
- Always running away
from your responsibilities
one way or another.
You're as bad as
your fucking dad!
Frankie.
Frankie baby, please
don't do this.
Please, you just
don't understand!
- Rah!
I didn't scare you, did I?
- No.
- Is your mum in?
- Yeah,
she's expecting you.
- Have I done
something to upset you?
Is everything all
right, sweetheart?
- Don't call me sweetheart.
- I know you don't trust me,
but I have only got your
mum's best interests at heart.
- She's single, you're single.
None of my business, is it?
Just don't fuck her over, yeah?
- She's stronger than
she looks, you know.
- That's still no excuse
to fuck someone over.
- All right, all right, geez!
- Cheer up, love,
might never happen.
You know what you need?
You need to get your
laughing gear round this.
Oi, I'm talking to
you, sweetheart.
On the house, such
a pretty girl.
- You're dripping, mate.
- Oi, I'll see you around, yeah?
- So go on, spill it.
Your updates on the socials
have been sparse
to say the least.
- It's different.
- Thanks.
Thanks for the
update, vague book.
- I don't know what to tell you.
The people are nice, mostly,
some of them are a bit
fucking posh, of course.
- How's the boys?
- They're also different.
Very different from
the boys around here.
- Oh, lucky you.
How's your course?
- Um, it's going great, yeah.
Well, I mean it was until I
missed my last three weeks,
but yeah.
- How's your mum doing?
- Um...
She, ah, she says hi,
but yeah, she's okay,
I think, I hope.
Um, she's got a new
boyfriend at least.
- Oh, good for her.
- He's Dave Jameson's dad.
- That dickhead.
- Do you know him?
- He works for the
council, that's all.
Had a few run-ins with them.
- Still trying to
change the world, eh?
- Just this tiny,
shitty corner of it.
- So who fancies the special,
Bob's fresh sausages?
I can even batter them for you.
- No, mate, we're vegans.
- Well, sod you then.
- Men, always trying
to show us their meat.
- Hol,
ignore him.
I am sorry, you know.
- I was worried.
Everyone was worried,
especially after...
You're not the only person
to vanish in this town
and never be seen again.
- This place, it
gets a hold on you,
drags you down, I needed
to go and not look back.
- And not even tell
your best mate?
- I couldn't tell anyone.
My mum, if she knew
what I planned,
she'd find a way
to stop me somehow.
You're not gonna get
any signal around here,
you know that, right?
- Yeah.
- And it's got worse.
Bunch of fucking yokels burnt
down the wireless tower.
You know, the one on the green.
- What, why?
- Some rumor went round
that it was infecting people
with 5G radiation or something,
melting people's brains.
- I swear everyone
over the age of 40
is in some sort of
like weird cult.
My mum's the same,
she's always on about
how they're out to
try and get her,
but she never says who they are.
- It's probably the
outsiders, you know,
with their fancy ways,
university education.
This place makes me want to
scream like that sometimes.
- You should
do, let it all out.
- Remember when
we used to do that,
scream with joy as we
ran out into the ocean?
- Pretty
sure that was just the cold,
or the sewage.
- Your mum's new
boyfriend's on the committee
that blocked our objections
to the waste treatment plant.
He's basically the
mayor from "Jaws,"
except the shark is
like a giant turd.
- I do
miss it, you know,
the sea,
its vastness,
constant changing.
Even if it is just a sea
of human shit.
- That's the
most poetic thing
I've ever heard
you say.
Don't keep me in the
dark next time, yeah?
- Yeah.
- No more secrets.
No more running away.
- Okay.
I promise.
- So we never
gave you a proper send off
the first time, so
let's do one now.
Bright lights, big
city, it's gonna be lit.
- So karaoke
at the Fox and Hounds?
- Oh well, Rosie and the Hare.
Shut until the summer,
Rowans closed down last year
and The Ship burnt down
in a insurance scam, so.
- So karaoke at
the Fox and Hounds.
You know, I hate that place.
We can do drinks over
Zoom or whatever.
But I've gotta go
and see my mum.
I can't leave her
on bad vibes again.
Yeah?
- All right.
Look after yourself.
See you.
- Watch where
you're going, whore!
- Fuck!
- It's you.
I thought you were
long fucking gone.
- You don't know me.
- Oh, I know you all right.
I know your mother, don't I?
I knew your dad.
- Come on, Frankie, let's
leave this pisshead to it.
- You're making a big
fucking mistake coming back.
You want my advice?
- No, she doesn't.
- Get out while you can.
Now, the pair of you,
you know what this is?
It's an omen, a fucking portent.
- Leave us the fuck alone
or we'll call the police.
- Fat lot of good they'll do.
You girls heard of
Mr. Punch, right?
You heard what he does
to girls like you?
- Listen, mate, we're
not scared of you,
we're not gonna shag you
and we're not gonna give
you money for crack,
so you can piss your pants
in the street for all I care.
Just don't come
near us again, yeah?
And take your feathered
fuck doll with you as well.
- It's a fucking omen!
- Thanks.
Here, take this.
- Thanks.
- You okay?
- Just shit me up a bit,
you know, that's all.
Did you know that man?
He seemed to know me.
- He's always under the
pier doing meth or crack
or whatever the fuck
those guys do under there.
I tried to help them
before with soup and stuff,
but they told me to piss off.
- But what he said
about, you know, omens,
like that was scary shit.
- Well, the thing
is, he's not wrong.
Seagulls are what are known
as a sentinel species,
because they're the
top of the food chain.
You see one of them dead,
you know there's a big fuck
up further down the ecosystem.
I'm not
helping here, am I?
- No.
- Look, it's what happens
when you spend too long here.
It'll be me in 50 years.
- Did your, ah, did your parents
ever tell you about that,
you know, Mr. Punch?
- When I was a kid, yeah.
- He-he mentioned him.
- So what?
Parents have been trying
to scare their kids
with Mr. Punch for like forever.
He's bullshit.
He's Santa Claus to teenagers.
- He's the bogeyman,
that's what he is.
When I was your age, we
used to dare ourselves
to go down to the end of
the pier at night, alone.
That's where they
said we'd find him
and his big,
fat,
club.
- Please don't, I was scared
shitless of Mr. Punch as a kid.
I couldn't even watch
him on the puppet shows
at the sea front.
- Good job you didn't, love.
The last guy to do the
Punch and Judy show here,
he got arrested,
pedo, total nonce.
- See, plenty enough real
monsters in this world
without having to
invent new ones.
- All right?
You girls heard about
my legendary Morrissey
impersonation then?
What, you don't like
the greatest songwriter
of his generation?
Well, I do a mean Ted
Sheeran, bit of Billy Eyelash.
You girls are here for
the karaoke, right?
- Oh yeah, I mean,
you should hear him.
He's pretty good with voices.
Thanks, babe.
- Mum, I am, you know,
sorry about earlier.
- What about, well
what happened earlier?
- No, nothing.
- Hey, can we have our
usual please, Babs,
whatever the two
girls are having
and a large one for yourself?
- Sure thing, babes.
- Oh, we'd love to
stay, Councilor Jameson,
but me and Frankie
were just leaving.
Got a good night planned.
- More gay dolphins to
save, Miss Manson?
- Dolphins are
pansexual actually.
- Well, we won't
cramp your style.
Although you young uns, you
don't know how to get on it
like we used to, do they, babe?
- We used to go to
all the illegal raves,
you know, big fish, little
fish, cardboard boxes.
Yeah, well, you don't get
that on TikTok, do you?
- Hol, let's go.
- You don't want
these drinks? Okay.
Cheers, babe.
- Cheers.
- Yeah, you know, he was
fucking weird that guy.
- I know.
- You know.
- So where's this party at then?
- Well, you know, I thought
we could get some tinnies.
You remember, like we
were 13 again, down there?
- We can do better than that.
Low key
better than that.
Let's go see the boys.
- Really?
- Come on, they've missed
you, Daryl in particular.
- What, is he gonna be there?
- Where else is he
gonna be? Come on.
- I should have known you'd
come for me eventually.
You're too late anyway.
I've told the girls to get out.
Any luck,
they take this crazy
old man's advice.
I gave them the warning
I should have given-
- Oi, oi.
- All right, Rolo.
- Can't complain, you know,
babes, can't complain.
Who's your friend?
- Frankie, you fucking dickhead,
who'd you think it was?
- Wankie Frankie.
- Wankie Frankie.
- You all right, babes?
- Yeah.
- Haven't seen you
round here in a while.
Thought she'd done
a disappearing act
like every other cunt
who thinks they're too
good for this place, eh?
- Just back for one
night, that's all.
- Oh, you look fucking
freezing, babe.
Wanna jump in the back of
the Rolo mobile for a bit?
- I haven't got any dumber
since I've been away.
I'm still not gonna fuck you
on the pile of McDonald's
wrappers you've got back there.
- Um, does Dazzler
know you're back?
- He doesn't.
- Well, he fucking
does now, doesn't he?
- Hey.
- Can we talk?
- What, so shall
I talk first then?
- You're the
one who wanted to talk.
- Okay, I get it,
you fucking hate me.
- I don't hate you.
- So what is it then?
- I don't know.
- I shouldn't have left
without saying goodbye.
I know that.
- Hm.
- I know how much that hurts.
My dad did the same to me.
Running away must
run in the family.
Fuck's sake. Good
talking to you anyway.
- Yeah.
- Goodbye for good this time.
So.
Dazzler,
you giving us a lift or what?
- Where?
- No, Hol, I'm going.
- So what's gonna happen
is Daryl's gonna take us
to an all night garage,
we're gonna get some cans and
then we're going to a party.
- What party?
- Come on, fasten your
seatbelts, both of you.
It's gonna be lit.
- No, it's not 'cause I'm
not going fucking anywhere.
- I'm not going,
especially with him.
- What the fuck?
- Who are these people?
- They're the first
canaries of gentrification.
They want to open a vegan cafe
where Dirty Dave's
chip shop used to be,
you know, before the incident.
- What, I go away for two
minutes and this happens?
- Hol!
- Hey, lovely.
Oh, ah, this is Justin
and this is Tamaryn.
Guys, this is Frankie,
my old best mate.
Well, she's still my best mate,
she just went away for uni.
- Oh, cool, whereabouts?
- Um, Loughborough,
yeah, doing art.
- That is so cool,
I'm a sculptor myself,
working with found objects.
I call it decolonizing
the detritus
of the maritime patriarchy.
- And I call it collecting
shit from the beach.
- What about you, what's
your ah, medium of choice?
- I like painting, you know.
- Fascinating.
We should go for a drink?
Maybe take some
peyote, chat about art,
what it means to us, et cetera?
- Yeah, maybe later.
- You girls had one of these?
- Thanks.
- Go on.
They're free, don't worry.
Justin got them from Amsterdam.
Come on, Justin.
I'm sure these girls have
got loads to catch up on.
- Yeah, sure, I'll speak
to you in a bit, ladies.
- So what do you think?
- To what?
- You know.
- What, him?
- And the girl.
They're a couple,
but they're poly.
They've asked me to do
a threesome.
- Oh, fuck off.
There isn't any threesomes
and glow up paint orgies here,
this is just some sort
of fucking elaborate hoax
to get me to stay, innit?
You know, what happened
to when we were like 13
and we'd sit on a pier
and chat shit for hours?
I miss those days.
- Come on, this
place can change.
I can change.
Give me yours, I need
it for the threesome.
- No way.
- Come on, you know you
don't touch this stuff.
- Yeah, I know I
don't, I know that,
but it is my last night, innit?
So fuck it.
- Yes.
- Good vibes only now,
here and now, darling.
- Stop.
- No fucker's gonna ruin
it for me, that's for sure.
- It's out,
it's out, it's out.
Stop it.
I need a piss.
- You slag.
- Oh, oh, oh, hello.
- Aye, aye!
- Hey, get your tits out!
Get your tits out.
- Yeah.
- Hey, why the long face, sexy?
- The
blushing bride.
- Oh my God, is it a stripper?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Right, I ordered a
copper, all right?
Where's the copper? We
wanna see the copper.
- You should
get your cock out anyway.
Get your fucking cock
out, I wanna see it.
Eh, I wanna see how big it is.
- How small it is, squeeze it.
- Out! I wanna see it.
- Whatever will
your future husband say?
- No, don't talk about Darius.
- Oh, he's fucking useless.
He's with them slags in
the strip club, isn't he?
Um, do you fancy a nosh under
the pier or what, 'cause?
- Oh yeah.
- I'm gagging.
- She's good, she's
really, really good.
- I'm really good.
- If you
think you can handle it.
- No, let's go, go find
the girls, come on.
- No, I like a bit
hard wood, come on.
- No, come on.
- Oh, you
can't leave now, girls,
you've got me all excited.
Ah!
- Get off her!
No, stop!
No, no, no, stop it!
Stop!
- Weddings
always get me choked up too.
- Oh my God, leave
her alone, get back.
No, no, no, no, no!
Fuck you, fuck you!
- Always
the bridesmaid.
Never the bride.
- No, please, no!
- Whoa.
- Mate,
what the fuck?
Can't you see
we're busy in here?
- Ssh!
Come on, let's do this properly.
- Sweet.
- No, fuck's
sake! I don't mean like that.
- Fucking hell.
- I mean,
talk.
- To me?
What?
- What?
- What?
- What?
You know I'm sorry.
Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.
- Yeah, well, you did.
Look, you can't just run away
from your feelings, Frankie,
sometimes you've
gotta face them.
Or some shit, innit? I
don't know, don't ask me.
- Yeah, you're not
the first person
that's said that to me today.
I did miss you, you know?
- Yeah and I um...
I fucking love you, Frankie.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Or is that just
the drugs talking?
- Oh, a little from column A.
- Little from column B.
- B.
- Yeah.
Oh, that's the most romantic
thing anyone's ever said to me.
- Really?
- Of course not, you
fucking dickhead.
- Fuck's sake, Frankie.
- But it'll do.
- Fuck.
- For fuck's sake.
- Shit.
- Ssh!
Can't believe you've
forgotten how to do it.
Just unclip it.
- Oh!
- Jesus, Hol.
One threesome ain't
enough for you?
- You both wish.
Come on, we're leaving,
get your kit on.
- What? what about-
- The threesome's off.
Justin and Tamaryn had a
massive row, now she's crying
and now he's downing
home-brew with some jugglers
This party's turning to shit.
- Sounds like it just
got started to me.
- Shut up, Dazzler.
Me and Tam are
going to the beach,
get away from all these boys.
- What about me?
- What about you?
- Who
the fuck's this clown?
- I'm Mr. Punch.
Who the fuck are you?
How do you murder a clown?
You go straight for the jugular.
- Hey, babe.
- Now
what do we have here?
- G'day, mate, come in,
the water's so nice.
Do you want some?
You look like you need
to chill the fuck out.
- I'll be
back for you later, babe.
Please excuse me for one moment.
- Ready or not,
here I come.
- What the fuck?
- What's long
and hard and fucks kids?
Uh!
- James!
Fuck.
- What the fuck
is wrong with you?
- Simon, tell him,
please, what the fuck?
Uh!
- Let that
sink in.
James.
- Well,
I can do you too.
Want a taste of this?
- No!
Uh!
- Time to
get back in the closet.
Uh!
- I said back in the closet.
Who's a pretty boy then?
Not you!
Not anymore!
Frankie, where are you?
- Fuck, man!
Oh shit, bloody keys.
What?
Take the car.
Take-take my weed, take my
treat, it's a fucking mint.
- Naughty boy.
Were you going to
drink and drive?
- No, no, I promise, look.
Take my keys.
You want a hand job, is that it?
Look, I'll spit on it
but I won't suck it.
Okay, okay, I'll suck it, just
let me fucking breathe, man.
- I just wanna know
where your little friends are.
- Who?
- Wrong answer.
Aw, sleep tight.
- Guys, we definitely
made the right choice.
That party was going
downhill real fast.
- I don't know, I was
having a pretty good time.
- It's so beautiful out here.
Got the fire and the
sound of the waves.
You know, I'm so glad that
I moved out of the city
to somewhere so,
just so peaceful.
- Yeah.
It's okay, I suppose.
We should go.
We should go like
skinny dipping!
Yes!
Surrender ourselves to the waves
and just feel Mother
Nature on our skin.
Yes!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Look at that!
- Is she for real?
- Shut up.
- Whoo!
- You'll die of hyperthermia
before you even get a
lung full of effluence.
We can go to Davy Wavy's
Waterpark tomorrow.
It's got a wave machine
and everything, much safer.
- Okay.
- You big city folk have a
lot to learn from us yokels.
- Hm.
- Yeah, you know, Hol, it was
a good idea coming out here.
Somewhere romantic.
- Ugh!
- Are you reconsidering
moving away?
- Oh, don't be my mum again.
Just let me enjoy
this one night.
- I get you.
- Right, I'm gonna go piss.
- Thanks for ruining the moment.
- Shut up,
I've had like 20 beers,
what do you expect?
- Bollocks, have you, you've
had about half that.
- Ah, Dazzler, keep walking,
don't wanna hear you.
So you and Daryl
an item again then?
- Don't know.
Feels right,
right now.
We'll deal with the awkward
shit in the morning.
- I mean, he's just,
I don't know, like
not your type.
- And how do you
know what my type is?
- I'm not being horrible, hun.
It's just...
You're an artist studying at uni
and well, he's just...
- The last book he read
was "The Gruffalo,"
he only managed to
finish that last year.
- You two don't
know him like I do.
He's funny, he's
smart, proper caring,
just hides it
really fucking well.
- Really fucking well.
- Yeah, all right.
He's a monosyllabic dickhead
that gets on better with cars
than he does with, you
know, people, but...
He's my monosyllabic dickhead.
- Sounds like love to me.
- Mm-hm.
- Shut up, does it.
Oh dear.
- What?
- You really
pissed on your chips now.
- Who the fuck are you
supposed to be, you silly cunt?
- I'm Mr. Punch
and I know the way to do it.
- Step off it,
I'll spark you clean out.
- Oh, you wanna
give Mr. Punch a punch, do you?
Come on then, big man.
If you come at Mr. Punch,
you'd better not miss.
Uh!
Come on, boy.
Are you a piece of cod?
You're about to get
battered.
- Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- This sort of weird
high-pitched voice
- It's just the wind or the sea.
- Or a
seagull eating a rat.
- A rat?
- Yeah.
These boats are full
of them, big as cats.
Luckily, the seagulls
are as big as vultures.
Or it could be
Mr. Punch, course.
- I remember saying
good vibes only tonight.
Cut it out.
- Who's Mr. Punch?
- You don't wanna know.
- Come on, Frankie.
If Tam here wants to
be part of our group,
then she needs to
be kept up to speed
with the local celebrities.
- Ignore her, Tam,
he's just someone our parents
used to warn us about,
he scared me shitless.
- Legend says that he
stalks the town at night
looking for teenagers,
girls misbehaving in particular.
He hits their heads
with a big fat club.
Toxic masculinity in the flesh.
And on nights like this,
when the wind howls,
we can hear him laughing as
he murders another teenager
that was doing something
they shouldn't.
- He's not real, like he
doesn't actually exist, right?
- Of course he
doesn't.
- Oh yes, he does.
- Daryl.
- If that's you, Dazzler,
I'll feed your dick
to the fucking sand rats!
- Yeah, Daryl, come
on, knock it off.
It's not funny.
- Oh yes, it is.
- Look, Daryl, really
not fucking funny.
- Hol,
I w-wanna go home, I don't
like it out here anymore.
- Yeah, same,
let's leave Frankie
with the least fucking
funny dickhead in the world!
- Hey, you can't
leave me on my own.
- Oh, you're
not alone, Frankie.
I hope she's carbon neutral.
- Frankie, he can't
follow the both of us.
- Daryl!
Daryl.
- Hello.
- Emergency, which service?
- Police and fucking police.
Okay, can you calmly
state your location and
what your emergency is?
- The-the beach, just-just
past the caravan park and...
There's a man in a
mask, a Punch mask.
Hello?
- You can
never get a signal,
when you need it,
can you?
Snitches get
stitches.
Time to sleep with the
dolphins.
What do you call a
man stuck out at sea?
Bob, you get it?
Tough crowd.
- Frankie.
Frankie, Frankie, it's me,
it's me, it's me, it's me.
- What did he do to you?
- Fuck, I've had worse.
- Holly and-and Tamaryn.
- Right, okay.
- Frankie, listen to me!
- Holly and Tamaryn!
- Frankie, Frankie, listen
to me, for fuck's sake!
Frankie.
- I can't.
- Oh, how sweet.
Hey Frankie, you should
be with a real man,
not a little boy.
- No!
- Frankie, take this.
Frankie, take it and
if he gets past me,
then you fucking
stab him, right?
- No!
- Run, Frankie, run!
- No!
- Roll up, roll
up, all the fun of the fair!
Uh!
- Home
run.
I thought he was
never gonna shut up.
But now.
- No!
- Now, you and me,
we can have some
quality time together.
Talk about those
daddy issues of yours.
- Please.
Open the door.
Please, you have to
help me, please, please.
- I can't, I-I'm sorry, babe.
- No, please,
you don't understand.
You heard her.
- Oh!
- We can't help you.
- Please.
- The only way to
keep Mr. Punch away
is to be a good girl
and do as you're told.
Isn't that right?
So fuck off.
- Please.
Please.
- Yeah, fuck off, please.
- No, please!
Open the door, please!
No.
- Don't you
know the rules, Frankie?
- No!
- When
the caravan's rocking,
don't come a-knocking.
- Help!
Help!
Help!
- You all right, miss?
You been drinking?
How about drugs?
Listen, you need to calm down.
- No!
There's a man in a mask and
he-he tried to kill my friend!
- All right, look, look, look,
we've obviously got a
lot to unpack here, eh?
Listen, why don't you come
down to the station with me,
we can get a proper statement
and maybe get you a
bed for the night, eh?
- No, no.
My friend, she...
- Oi, I asked nicely,
don't make me use force.
Get into the back of the car.
- I can't, what are
you, what are you doing?
- Don't make me use these,
I will if necessary.
Now take a seat in the back.
- No.
- Oh, what now?
- He...
He's behind, he's behind you.
- Look, this ain't a pantomime.
Oh yes, it is.
You'll never take me
alive, officer.
- No!
Please, please don't!
- No!
- I say, I say...
What's the difference between
five dicks and a joke?
Your mother can't take
a joke!
You can't run from your
problems forever, Frankie.
Sooner or later, they're
going to catch up with you
and when they do.
I fucking hate
clowns.
Jackpot!
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on, Frankie.
You know how the song goes.
- Okay, okay, you win!
- Eh?
I say, I say,
what do you say to a
woman with two black eyes?
Come on, Frankie,
what do you say?
- I don't know!
- Nothing, you
already told her twice!
See, I still think
you need to be taught
a little lesson, Frankie.
Just a little one, something
short and sharp.
You call that a knife?
Uh!
- Fuck.
Ow!
- Roll up,
roll up, grab a prize.
Get off!
Uh!
Frankie.
Where are you?
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
- Fucking signal.
Where is she, where is she?
Where are you, Frankie, eh?
Fucking signal.
- I fucking knew it.
- Yeah it's me.
No.
No, babe, she's gone.
Stupid bitch jumped
just like her waste
of a space father.
But just in case she
managed to slip by me,
put out the pass
signal, everyone.
No, I'll tell Judy.
I said I'll tell Judy.
You just make sure that
everyone knows the drill.
- Hey, Frankie.
- That's one way to do
it, you fucking cunt.
Come on, Mum, pick up please.
Mum?
Are you okay?
- Oh, Frankie.
- Mum.
- Oh, baby.
- Are
you, are you okay?
- You're okay.
- I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, I should
have believed you.
You weren't being paranoid.
There is something out
there, something evil.
And I need to tell you
something about Elton.
- What about him, sweetheart?
- Mum, he's the evil,
I saw him out there,
he's tried to kill people,
he tried to kill me,
I think he's killed Daryl
and I can't get hold of Holly
'cause there's no
fucking signal anywhere.
But you're the only one I
care about that's alive.
- Oh, it's all right,
it's all right, sweetheart.
I've got you.
I've got you.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- What...
What's that?
- What's what?
- Oh, this?
This is just for a little game,
like a local tradition.
Mr. Punch will be here soon.
- No.
- And we,
we can all be a family again.
- Mum.
What have they done to you?
- And
you call me paranoid.
Here he is.
Now, be a doll, go
and answer the door.
- No fucking way.
Mum, please, we can fix
this, we can get out of here.
We can have a clean
slate, please, please.
Just please, just take
off this fucking mask.
- Mr. Punch is
the man of the house.
- Do not open that fucking door.
- Mr. Punch is
the man of the house.
Now we can't leave
him waiting outside.
- Mum, don't open
the door please.
Okay.
- He'll just
have to use his key.
- Why?
- You
wouldn't understand,
but one day,
you will.
- It's
true.
We always hurt the ones we love.
- And I know he's
just his showing affection.
- You don't
understand what an honor it is
for the good people of this town
to choose me as this
year's Mr. Punch.
- To pick
me as his Judy.
Oh, it was, it was
just so wonderful.
It was like we're
local celebrities
or royalty even.
- Why don't
you run along, Frankie
and pop the kettle on?
We can have a nice family chat,
fill you in on a
few home truths.
Look at me.
Look at me!
Don't cry, Frankie.
You're so pretty, Frankie.
Do you wanna stay the night?
You know,
with great power
comes great responsibility.
It's not for everyone,
this Mr. Punch lark.
Your father, for example,
he just couldn't handle it.
Oh yeah.
It's about time you
learnt the truth
about your father
and why he jumped.
But you, I mean, you are
made of much sterner stuff,
aren't you, Frankie?
Maybe one day,
you will make a wonderful
Judy for someone.
- My little girl.
- Maybe even me.
There's nothing like
a nice cup of tea.
- Oh!
- What have you done?
- It's tough love,
Mum, trust me.
The police.
- Now then,
now then, what's occurring?
We've had reports you've
been a naughty girl.
- Please!
Please!
Make it stop, please, please!
Mum!
- Don't you see, dear,
how much you mean to
me, to this whole town?
- Stop!
- It's
the chop for you.
- Smile,
you're on "Candid Camera."
- Mum, please.
Please.
No!
- Sorry, baby, but
it's for your own good.
- Punch
is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead, long live Punch.
- No, please!
- Punch
is dead, long live Punch.
Punch is dead.
- That's the
way to do it.