Punch Drunks (1934) Movie Script
1
[]
And you call yourself
a fight manager.
Where's our cut
from last night's show?
Yeah, the only cut
I got so far
is this one over my eye.
So help me, boys,
after taking out expenses,
there ain't enough left
to feed a mouse.
Now get this, Moe:
we're quitting, ya see?
Oh, wait a minute, gentlemen.
You mugs can't do that to me.
I'll be left
without any fighters.
Hello, Beau Brummel.
How are you,
Mr. McGurn?
Wait a minute.
Where have you been?
Out to lunch.
Get over there and wait
on those customers.
Yes, sir, Mr.--
What'll you have, gentlemen?
Give me a big steak.
Ham and eggs.
Hold on, hold on.
I ain't had my dessert yet.
Four slices of burnt toast
and a rotten egg.
Burnt toast
and a rotten egg?
Yeah.
What do you want that for?
I got a tapeworm,
and it's good enough for him.
I know how you feel.
What'll you gentlemen have?
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Wait a minute.
Three hamburgers
for the mugs.
Three hamburgers.
Pardon me, stranger.
I'm a musician.
So what?
Well, I thought if you had
some music around the place,
you might increase business.
How much dough
do you generally get?
Well, I get $250, but for you,
I'll take 200.
I'll give you
a bowl of soup.
I'll take it.
If you're good.
[QUIETLY]
I hope the soup's good.
You'll never regret this,
mister.
[]
[CHIRPING]
Scram.
Sorry, gentlemen.
You can't have any hamburger.
The meat's too fresh.
[GRUMBLES]
The meat ain't the only
fresh thing around here, is it?
Oh!
Aw, give us a break,
will ya, fellas?
I'm a citizen, ain't I? Wait,
stop it. Fellas, I didn't mean--
Don't try that stuff around
here.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
MOE:
Bring them food.
[PANTING]
[WHOOPING]
Ah, you're--
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
You can't do that!
Say...
you're a born champ.
Did I do that?
Sure. What's eating you?
Don't you remember?
No.
Every time I hear
that weasel tune,
something pops
inside of me,
then everything
goes black.
Hey, what's the idea?
You trying to ruin my business?
I'm sorry.
Look at my customers.
I'm a victim of circumstance.
What do you think
this is, a joint?
It's that "Pop the Weasel."
Hey, fiddler. Give us
that weasel tune again.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
What happened?
Look.
How'd he get up there?
It worked. Shake hands
with your new manager.
Boy, we're gonna make
a lot of money. Come on.
I need you too.
From now on,
we're a corporation.
Were we going?
We got a lot of training to do.
[WHIRRING]
MOE:
Stroke!
Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
[]
Stroke!
Stroke!
Stroke!
What is going on
around here?
What's the idea?
I lost my ba-lance.
Oh, you lost
your ba-lance, eh?
Yeah.
Well, go find it.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
I know you had
a tough day, kid.
How do you feel now?
Oh-ho, you're in great shape,
K.O.
Yoo-hoo. Gentlemen.
I'm having a little trouble.
I wonder if you could help me.
Sit down, lug.
Didn't you hear the lady?
She said "gentlemen."
Besides,
I always told you:
boxing and women
don't mix.
Now, what can I do for you,
toots?
I'm in a terrible
dilemma.
Yeah, I don't care much
for these foreign cars either.
[CHUCKLES]
You don't understand.
I'm stuck.
On me? That's funny.
That's what
they all tell me.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean in the ditch.
The ditch? Heh-heh. Yeah.
Hey, K.O.!
Don't sit there like a dummy.
Come over here.
Give me a hand.
Which one?
Get on the bumper.
Wait a minute.
We need more help.
Where's Larry?
Look.
Get right here. Come here.
All right, kid, take it easy.
Take it easy, kid.
What's wrong with you?
Wait a minute.
Wait. Look at this.
LARRY:
Look at this here.
Oh, look at that.
Yeah, it's a fine time
to go fishing.
Get out--
You don't know how it happened.
Get out.
I was standing-- You--
LARRY:
It's your fault sometimes.
We got work to do.
Come on.
Curley, get on that
mudguard there.
Hey, you.
Help me here.
Wait a minute.
I got a better idea
than this.
In music, there's strength.
Yeah.
Give K.O. a couple
of bars of "Weasel."
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
Oh! My foot!
Hey, Curley, get it off!
I can't budge it!
Well, do something.
What are you standing around
for? Do something.
Hey, Larry!
Pardon me.
I'll be with you
in a minute, my sweet.
Come on.
We'll take care of this guy.
Heave!
Oh!
[BONES CRACKING]
Oh!
Heave!
[BONES CRACKING]
Wait a minute.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[WHOOPING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
["POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
[WHOOPING]
I'm so afraid
you'll get hurt, honey.
Don't worry about me, dear.
I'm a man without feelings.
What'd I tell you about mixing
fighting with women?
Get upstairs.
Go on upstairs.
See you after the fight.
Don't worry now.
I won't get hurt.
See ya, toots.
[]
[YELLS]
Get upstairs.
In this corner,
the champion,
Killer Kilduff!
[CROWD CHEERING]
In this corner,
the challenger,
K.O. Stradivarius.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Take a bow, dummy.
[MUFFLED]
Now, I want you boys
to make a good, clean fight.
No holding and hitting,
and no dirty tactics.
[TUNING VIOLIN]
[]
Who am I fighting?
That guy sitting
on the chair.
Come here.
Sit down.
[CLATTERING]
What's the matter?
You nervous, toots?
No, only in that leg.
Ooh! Ooh!
What, are you flirting?
[BELL DINGS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
Oh!
[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
MAN:
Get him back in there.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Wait a minute!
Your shoe's untied.
Oh, so it is.
Thanks, pal.
One,
two,
three.
Ooh!
Where you going?
This is getting
on my nerves.
Get back in there
or I'll tear your tonsils out.
Put up your hands.
Ooh!
Ooh.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING ON RADIO]
One,
two,
three...
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
Hey, Moe. Where's Larry?
Come on, break.
How's for a piece
of candy, red?
Sure.
[BELL DINGS]
[BELL DINGS]
[FISTS SLAPPING]
[CLINKS]
[DINGS]
[CLINKS TWICE]
[EXHALES FORCEFULLY]
[BELL DINGS]
Now get up.
What's the matter
with you?
Get outta the way.
He's the guy who needs rubbing.
[BELL DINGS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
Hey! I got it! I got it!
["POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
ANNOUNCER [ON RADIO]:
Now, kiddies,
Uncle Dan will tell you
how Fuzzy Bear
met Jerry Porcupine
under the old hollow
tree stump in the woods,
right next to Peter Rabbit's
gingerbread house.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[BELL DINGS]
[GARGLING]
Hello, Ma.
Doing the best I can.
But I'm afraid
it's not good enough.
Have you seen Larry, Ma?
What's the matter
with you?
[BELL DINGS]
MAN:
Come on, champ.
Get in there with that left!
You can't do that.
Let go.
No!
What's the matter here?
Time out! Time out!
I suppose you want
the afternoon off.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING ON LOUDSPEAKERS]
One,
two...
Five...
[WHOOPING]
Oh, that's it, K.O.! Come on!
[MUSIC STOPS]
[CHEERING]
Boy! Whoo!
What happened?
Why, you're the new champ.
I knew we'd do it.
We put it over.
Oh, we came good.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
[WHOOPING]
[]
[]
And you call yourself
a fight manager.
Where's our cut
from last night's show?
Yeah, the only cut
I got so far
is this one over my eye.
So help me, boys,
after taking out expenses,
there ain't enough left
to feed a mouse.
Now get this, Moe:
we're quitting, ya see?
Oh, wait a minute, gentlemen.
You mugs can't do that to me.
I'll be left
without any fighters.
Hello, Beau Brummel.
How are you,
Mr. McGurn?
Wait a minute.
Where have you been?
Out to lunch.
Get over there and wait
on those customers.
Yes, sir, Mr.--
What'll you have, gentlemen?
Give me a big steak.
Ham and eggs.
Hold on, hold on.
I ain't had my dessert yet.
Four slices of burnt toast
and a rotten egg.
Burnt toast
and a rotten egg?
Yeah.
What do you want that for?
I got a tapeworm,
and it's good enough for him.
I know how you feel.
What'll you gentlemen have?
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Wait a minute.
Three hamburgers
for the mugs.
Three hamburgers.
Pardon me, stranger.
I'm a musician.
So what?
Well, I thought if you had
some music around the place,
you might increase business.
How much dough
do you generally get?
Well, I get $250, but for you,
I'll take 200.
I'll give you
a bowl of soup.
I'll take it.
If you're good.
[QUIETLY]
I hope the soup's good.
You'll never regret this,
mister.
[]
[CHIRPING]
Scram.
Sorry, gentlemen.
You can't have any hamburger.
The meat's too fresh.
[GRUMBLES]
The meat ain't the only
fresh thing around here, is it?
Oh!
Aw, give us a break,
will ya, fellas?
I'm a citizen, ain't I? Wait,
stop it. Fellas, I didn't mean--
Don't try that stuff around
here.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
MOE:
Bring them food.
[PANTING]
[WHOOPING]
Ah, you're--
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
You can't do that!
Say...
you're a born champ.
Did I do that?
Sure. What's eating you?
Don't you remember?
No.
Every time I hear
that weasel tune,
something pops
inside of me,
then everything
goes black.
Hey, what's the idea?
You trying to ruin my business?
I'm sorry.
Look at my customers.
I'm a victim of circumstance.
What do you think
this is, a joint?
It's that "Pop the Weasel."
Hey, fiddler. Give us
that weasel tune again.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
What happened?
Look.
How'd he get up there?
It worked. Shake hands
with your new manager.
Boy, we're gonna make
a lot of money. Come on.
I need you too.
From now on,
we're a corporation.
Were we going?
We got a lot of training to do.
[WHIRRING]
MOE:
Stroke!
Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!
[]
Stroke!
Stroke!
Stroke!
What is going on
around here?
What's the idea?
I lost my ba-lance.
Oh, you lost
your ba-lance, eh?
Yeah.
Well, go find it.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
I know you had
a tough day, kid.
How do you feel now?
Oh-ho, you're in great shape,
K.O.
Yoo-hoo. Gentlemen.
I'm having a little trouble.
I wonder if you could help me.
Sit down, lug.
Didn't you hear the lady?
She said "gentlemen."
Besides,
I always told you:
boxing and women
don't mix.
Now, what can I do for you,
toots?
I'm in a terrible
dilemma.
Yeah, I don't care much
for these foreign cars either.
[CHUCKLES]
You don't understand.
I'm stuck.
On me? That's funny.
That's what
they all tell me.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean in the ditch.
The ditch? Heh-heh. Yeah.
Hey, K.O.!
Don't sit there like a dummy.
Come over here.
Give me a hand.
Which one?
Get on the bumper.
Wait a minute.
We need more help.
Where's Larry?
Look.
Get right here. Come here.
All right, kid, take it easy.
Take it easy, kid.
What's wrong with you?
Wait a minute.
Wait. Look at this.
LARRY:
Look at this here.
Oh, look at that.
Yeah, it's a fine time
to go fishing.
Get out--
You don't know how it happened.
Get out.
I was standing-- You--
LARRY:
It's your fault sometimes.
We got work to do.
Come on.
Curley, get on that
mudguard there.
Hey, you.
Help me here.
Wait a minute.
I got a better idea
than this.
In music, there's strength.
Yeah.
Give K.O. a couple
of bars of "Weasel."
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
Oh! My foot!
Hey, Curley, get it off!
I can't budge it!
Well, do something.
What are you standing around
for? Do something.
Hey, Larry!
Pardon me.
I'll be with you
in a minute, my sweet.
Come on.
We'll take care of this guy.
Heave!
Oh!
[BONES CRACKING]
Oh!
Heave!
[BONES CRACKING]
Wait a minute.
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[WHOOPING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
["POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
[WHOOPING]
I'm so afraid
you'll get hurt, honey.
Don't worry about me, dear.
I'm a man without feelings.
What'd I tell you about mixing
fighting with women?
Get upstairs.
Go on upstairs.
See you after the fight.
Don't worry now.
I won't get hurt.
See ya, toots.
[]
[YELLS]
Get upstairs.
In this corner,
the champion,
Killer Kilduff!
[CROWD CHEERING]
In this corner,
the challenger,
K.O. Stradivarius.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Take a bow, dummy.
[MUFFLED]
Now, I want you boys
to make a good, clean fight.
No holding and hitting,
and no dirty tactics.
[TUNING VIOLIN]
[]
Who am I fighting?
That guy sitting
on the chair.
Come here.
Sit down.
[CLATTERING]
What's the matter?
You nervous, toots?
No, only in that leg.
Ooh! Ooh!
What, are you flirting?
[BELL DINGS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[PLAYING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]
[WHOOPING]
Oh!
[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
MAN:
Get him back in there.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Wait a minute!
Your shoe's untied.
Oh, so it is.
Thanks, pal.
One,
two,
three.
Ooh!
Where you going?
This is getting
on my nerves.
Get back in there
or I'll tear your tonsils out.
Put up your hands.
Ooh!
Ooh.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING ON RADIO]
One,
two,
three...
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
Hey, Moe. Where's Larry?
Come on, break.
How's for a piece
of candy, red?
Sure.
[BELL DINGS]
[BELL DINGS]
[FISTS SLAPPING]
[CLINKS]
[DINGS]
[CLINKS TWICE]
[EXHALES FORCEFULLY]
[BELL DINGS]
Now get up.
What's the matter
with you?
Get outta the way.
He's the guy who needs rubbing.
[BELL DINGS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
Hey! I got it! I got it!
["POP GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
ANNOUNCER [ON RADIO]:
Now, kiddies,
Uncle Dan will tell you
how Fuzzy Bear
met Jerry Porcupine
under the old hollow
tree stump in the woods,
right next to Peter Rabbit's
gingerbread house.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[BELL DINGS]
[GARGLING]
Hello, Ma.
Doing the best I can.
But I'm afraid
it's not good enough.
Have you seen Larry, Ma?
What's the matter
with you?
[BELL DINGS]
MAN:
Come on, champ.
Get in there with that left!
You can't do that.
Let go.
No!
What's the matter here?
Time out! Time out!
I suppose you want
the afternoon off.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING ON LOUDSPEAKERS]
One,
two...
Five...
[WHOOPING]
Oh, that's it, K.O.! Come on!
[MUSIC STOPS]
[CHEERING]
Boy! Whoo!
What happened?
Why, you're the new champ.
I knew we'd do it.
We put it over.
Oh, we came good.
["POP GOES THE WEASEL"
PLAYING]
[WHOOPING]
[WHOOPING]
[]