Pups Alone (2021) Movie Script

[wind blowing]
[narrator] It ain't easy
being a snowflake.
You go where the wind takes ya.
You aren't sure
if you're about to land
with some of your pals
or on a pile of salt.
You might be asking,
is this a story
about the journey
of the little snowflake
that could?
Nah. This is the story
of a girl and her dog.
Jenna got
the surprise of her life
when Charlie showed up
one magical Christmas.
Robert, Zoe and Grandpa Peter
couldn't have been happier
for Jenna.
Jenna and Charlie
were best friends.
Charlie followed Jenna
everywhere.
Outside of the rare day
of being late for school,
Jenna and Charlie had
the happiest little life.
Jenna's parents,
Robert and Zoe,
were inventors together
at Pet Wizard.
Charlie got bigger and bigger,
helping around the house
when he could.
Things couldn't have
been better.
One day, suddenly,
all that changed.
Zoe got sick and passed away,
and the happy little family
seemed to just disappear.
Robert buried himself
in his work.
Without Zoe around,
Robert's inventions
didn't work so well.
Time went on and Christmas
was eventually forgotten.
Robert and Grandpa Peter
had a big fight
and stopped talking.
Charlie tried to write
to Grandpa Peter.
Hopefully,
he can come around again
and bring Christmas with him.
And maybe he would have
if it wasn't for
any dog's greatest nemesis,
the mailman.
Christmas time is here again
And everything feels right
It's hard to sleep tonight
Sleep tonight
Santa's sleigh is on the way
Riding in the sky
It's packed up full of toys
For all the girls and boys
It's the greatest
Time of year
Just feel the magic
Floating in the air
[automated voice] Door opening.
Watch your fur, gentlemen.
[Charlie] Return to sender
again? This has to get
to Grandpa Peter.
It's the greatest
Time of year
Just feel the magic
Floating in the air
[ringing]
And just be grateful
For this joy
[glass shatters]
It's the greatest
Time of year
Just feel the magic
Floating in the air
And just be thankful...
Oh, no, not again.
It's the greatest
Time of year
Rise and shine!
Just feel the magic
Floating in the air
And just be grateful
For this joy
Oh, no. Again!
Come on, Charlie.
Dad, I'm late...
again.
Slept through your alarm
again, huh, sweetie? Ouch![sparks]
The one you said
you'd fix last week...
Mm-hmm....that hasn't worked ever.
Good morning to you,
sweetie.
Did you stay up
all night again?
[whirring][computer] I have...
Dad, you were supposed
to wake me up.
Uh-huh.
I've been late every day
since October.
Are you even listening?
Mm-hmm, sweetie.
Did you feed Charlie yet?
Ugh!
What was that about October?
[Charlie]
Okay, here we go again.
Fire in the hole!
[automated voice]
Dog food sequence initiated.
[Charlie] Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck.
Remember to duck![automated voice]
Must recalibrate.
[Charlie]
Three, two, one, go time!
[automated voice]
Initiating breakfast sequence.
System fail. System fail.
System fail.
Breakfast sequence fail.
[Charlie] Come on, Jenna.
You're gonna be late.
[automated voice] Not happy.
Disappointed in self.
Computer depressed.
[sighs]
When do I get my dad back?
I just upgraded
its cyber-cellular
AR vocabulary, so...
I'm late for school.
If my calculations
are correct...
I've decided to drop out,
move away
and live on the street.
...a working beta prototype
by early next Christmas.
The house is on fire.Which reminds me...
You feed Charlie yet?
Sure am gonna miss
Christmas this year, Dad.
Have a good day.
Bye, Charlie.
[door opens]
[humming]
Jenna? You're gonna be late
for school! Better hurry up!
[Charlie] Ay, ay, ay, dude.
Get a grip.
[narrator]
So this Christmas was already
looking about as promising
as a fork
in a soup eating contest.
Jenna and Charlie
weren't the only ones trying to
get into the Christmas spirit.
Let's take a trip across town.
No, the other way.
No, a right.
No, your other right.
Meet Benny and Lenny.
These two gems may not be able
to spell the word "con,"
but they seem to be
pretty good at it.
Okay, "pretty good"
might have been a stretch.
Okay... functional.
Barely functional.
Regardless,
I wouldn't trust these two
around a blind grandmother.
Can you spare some change? More on that later.
Ma'am...Stop, stop.
Keep going.
What's this guy looking at?
This just ain't cutting it.
Where you going?
Where you going?
I want a hot dog.
How much is it
for a hot dog?
I don't know. $1.50?
Two dollars?
We got to come up
with a bigger plan.
How much is in the can?
Nothing. You see?
We're on a doughnut-ski.
A what?Doughnut-ski.
I don't know
what that is.
Doughnut.
Like a big fat doughnut.
I don't want a doughnut.
I want a hot dog.
I said we're on the doughnut.
I didn't say
you want a doughnut.
I'm not on any doughnut.
I would've eaten it.
Never mind. Just come up with
something better, all right?
This is not cutting it.
What's better than a hot dog?
Not a doughnut.
No, I said that
we're on a doughnut.
We got nothing.
Start thinking about
what we're gonna do.
I don't like thinking.
Makes my head hurt.
Can't do that.
[door opens]
Hey, hon.
Long day at school?Why do we have to move, Dad?
You can be an inventor here
without leaving
all my friends.
You're gonna make new ones.
We're both gonna have to
adjust a little bit.
Besides,
you've got Charlie here
to keep you company.
[Charlie]
You'll always have me, Jenna.
Hey, what do you say
we cheer up Jenna, Charlie?
[electronic chirping]
Yeah.
[automated voice]
I have fleas.
[Charlie]
What? No, I don't!
Big radioactive fleas. I don't!
[chuckles]
May still have to work out
a few bugs, Dad.
Don't you mean fleas?
This whole holiday
is infested with fleas.
With the move and everything,
we're gonna miss Christmas.
[Charlie]
Huh? Who's missing Christmas?
We can't miss Christmas!
Whoa! Hey! Nobody is gonna
miss Christmas, okay?
Ever since Mom died...
you don't even
call Grandpa anymore.
All you do is work
on that hunk of junk.
You're not really
in the Christmas spirit
this year, are you, Charlie?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Maybe we'll find
some friends for you too.
I wish you really could talk.
[Charlie]
I wish I could help.
Should auld acquaintance
Be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Early Christmas present.
Wow.
Thanks, Dad.I preprogrammed all your
friends' numbers in there
so you can stay in touch.
What about Grandpa Peter?
One step at a time.
You know, I really am
gonna miss this place.
What do you say, Charlie?
Yeah!
Ready to hit the road?
Come on, guys.
[narrator] Well, it was a time
for new beginnings.
A new chapter.
A fresh start. A beautiful...
Uh... Uh...
They were moving.
Charlie tried
to cheer Jenna up,
but to no avail.
Robert thought singing
popular Christmas tunes
would help.
He was mistaken.
Home, sweet home.
Well, here we are.
What do you think?
It has potential.Yeah!
What do you think, Charlie?
[Charlie]
Huh! Neighborhood
looks to be in order.
No mailman in sight.
Whoa! Definite potential.
She's stunning.
Oh, no, she's coming this way.
I can't meet her now.
I'm not ready.
Think, Charlie, think!
[female dog] Hi there![Charlie] Now where did I
leave that box?
Maybe it's over here.
[female dog] Um... Hello?
Ooh! What's he doing?
Can you hear me?
[Charlie] I know I left it
somewhere over here.
Oh, hey, Jenna,
I'll be right with you.
You must be Robert.
I'm Holly.
Oh, uh, hi.
[Jenna] What's her name?Gidget.
Hi, Gidget.[Gidget] Hey, girl.
I'm Jenna.Hi, Jenna.
Well, welcome aboard, neighbor.
I've heard a lot about you.
Pet Tech's abuzz
with this mystery project
you've been working on.
Oh. Um...
You work at Pet Tech?Yep. We all do.
They treat us pretty well.
Pet Tech owns the whole block.
Oh, wow, really?
I guess it gives new meaning
to bringing your work home
with you, huh? [laughs]
It's not so bad.
We all get along
pretty great.
Well, mostly.
Need a hand?
[Robert groaning]
I'm Victor, the engineer
Pet Tech assigned
to your big secret project.
Your second-in-command.
[groans]Welcome.
[groans] Hi.
I was just speaking to...
Uh...Holly.
Yeah, Holly.
Talented young lady.
Talented, talented.
So talented.Right.
[bulldog]
I got your talent right here!
Can I pet your bulldog?Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's up to Vinnie P.
[Vinnie]
Put your filthy paws on me,
I keep 'em.
Need a hand?Oh, really, no.
I think we got it.
Some help?No, it's okay.
How about me and...Jenna.
I got plenty of muscle.
How about me and Jenna, we...
Whoa!
Check out those guns.[laughter]
How 'bout you and I
give the old man a hand here.
Oh, no, really.
I don't want to imp--Come on.
[both laughing]
I bet he could lift
the whole truck.
He cannot lift the truck!
At least I don't think so.
Our neighbors
sure are friendly.
Maybe things won't be
so bad after all.
Hope floats.
Let's get this inside.
Uh...
Um... [clears throat]
Okay. Okay.
Uh, I'm just gonna
get this...
I'm gonna get this box of paper
and I'll be right in.
You guys just go in without me.
Put the kettle on.
Okay, make some toast.
[narrator]
You might be asking yourself,
how can someone
so completely lack
basic coordination and balance?
In short, I have no clue.
You might also be wondering,
who is this giant blond
tree trunk?
Victor Von Manure.
Victor seemingly had it all.
A great new house,
a job at Pet Tech that he loved
and a beautiful new bride
Brunhilda.
Brunhilda convinced Victor
they should adopt
a baby bulldog.
They named him Vinnie Puppy.
No matter how hard Victor
tried, he couldn't get
his boss, CEO Bill,
to move
any of his inventions forward.
One day, CEO Bill told him
he had big news to share
with him.
Victor was ecstatic.
His moment had finally come.
Unfortunately for Victor,
the big news was that
he was getting forced
out of his big house
and being downsized
across the street
so Inventor Corwin
could move in.
Blinded by rage,
Victor did the only thing
that made sense.
He booby-trapped the toilet.
Corwin,
the inventor at Pet Tech
and new owner
of Victor's former house,
invited CEO Bill and his wife
over for dinner.
Victor's evil plan worked,
and Corwin was fired
after the toilet exploded
on CEO Bill's wife.
Thrilled that his plan worked,
Victor bragged
and celebrated with Vinnie.
Brunhilda overheard
what happened and was
disgusted with Victor.
Just like that, she left.
Victor and Vinnie
weren't the same after that.
Victor and Vinnie bullied
everyone they came across.
Vinnie Puppy was gone,
and only Vinnie P remained.
[Vinnie]
Better step in line, mutt.
Pups that don't
don't last very long
around here, capisce?
[Charlie]
So, I think I can handle the
third-person self-indulgence
and magnified
superiority complex,
but come on, dude.
Dogfather?
You really call yourself that?
[Vinnie] I don't. They do.
Meet my crew.
Key word, "my crew."[barking]
[Charlie]
That's two words.
[Vinnie] Jose,
Bernard,
Dozer,
Tiny,
and right there,
my number-one dame,
Gidget.
Keep your paws off her.
[Jose] Hola, perro!
Is you a city mutt?
[Charlie]
Not anymore, apparently.
[Jose]
These are our crew,amigo.
The Dogfellas.[Gidget clears throat]
[Jose]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Lo siento.
Sorry, Gidge. I apologize.
I meant, not the Dogfellas.
The dog people. Dog friends.
[Vinnie] Jose...[Jose] You like Christmastime,
city mutt?
Course you do.
Tell me you do.
[Vinnie] Enough!
No more Christmas talk.
[Jose] Yeah, sorry.
I won't make the mistake again.
Thank you for correcting me.
I apologize with all my heart.
[Vinnie]
Hey, everyone home. Now!
[Jose] Adios, amigo.
But we will meet again.
Anytime food gets thrown out of
a restaurant on a Tuesday,
I'll be there.
[Charlie] Uh, okay, sure.
[Jose] Anytime
a half-eaten hamburger
gets thrown out
a station wagon window,
I will meet you there.[Vinnie] Hey, Jose!
[Jose]
Hopefully, after I have
finished the hamburger
and you have to
lick the wrapper.
[Charlie] Um, okay.[Vinnie] Enough!
[Jose] Adios, amigo.
[Vinnie]
By the way, the Dogfather goes
where the Dogfather goes.
Su casa es mi casa.
Capisce?
[Gidget] See ya around.[Bernard] Apologies.
What Vinnie P says
usually goes. He's okay.
Sometimes, but not really.
[Charlie]
Yeah, he seems a little...
[Bernard] I smell chili.
Seven bean chili.
[Charlie]
Sheesh. This is gonna be
one "ruff" Christmas.
[sighs]
Thanks again.
I think you're really
gonna like it here.
Lots of memories.
But beware of that toilet.
Corwin never got it fixed.
Corwin?Yeah, the guy
who lived here before.
Hope you're
a better project manager.
He was sort of... let go.
Oh.
Yeah. But I have a feeling
you and I will get along
much better than he and I did.
Yes, I think so too.
Yeah.
Okay, lots of boxes.
[chuckles]
Thank you.
Holly sure is pretty.
You know what? Let's look
at our brand-new kitchen.
Do you think
she's married?
[clears throat]
It's bigger than
our old kitchen, isn't it?
[chuckles]You should ask her out.
Is that a new coffeemaker?
Because I'm pretty sure
it looks brand-new.
I bet she likes coffee.
You know what?
We should probably
start unpacking.
Maybe she can help.Maybe you can help.
[sighs] What are you
so afraid of, Dad?Not afraid of anything.
It's just
I've been so wrapped up
with the project--
It's always
about the project.
It's not about... Okay.
It's not about the proj--
Well, it is about the project.
Sometimes I get distracted...Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
Oh, it's really nothing.
Charlie's gonna be
the world's first talking dog.
Whoa! Now that's something
I'd like to see.
Come on now.
Sharing is caring, Rob.
Show him, Dad.Yeah, show me, Dad.
No, it's just a prototype,
and not a very good one.
Do pray tell.
Well, it's a device
that sits on a dog's collar,
and it picks up vibrations
like barking or whining
or growling.
Minute variations in depth,
tone, pitch and volume.
Hopefully, when it's all done,
it will decipher
a dog's thoughts into, uh...
[Charlie] Words?Words.
A canine translator!
That's brilliant!
Precisely.When can I see it?
When it's ready.
[Charlie] Uh-oh.
[both laughing]
I'll hold you to that,
Robert.
[inhales sharply]
[wheezing][laughs] Come on, Vin, let's go.
[Vinnie]
Let's blow this pupsicle stand.
[laughing]
But don't get too settled.
We have vacation to think about.
Vacation?Vacation?
Yeah, Big Bear Ski Lodge.
Yearly company shindig.
Everyone's going.
Um...
Big Bear?I don't...
Dad![Victor] Come on.
We were hoping to have
a nice, quiet,
family Christmas at home.
[Victor] You're not gonna
do that to her, are ya?
[Charlie] He's good.Awfully tough on a young girl,
alone in a strange new town
during Christmas.
Now come on, you gotta go.
It'll be fun.
Plus, you really
got to meet everyone.
CEO Bill will be there too.
Yeah, he called me personally,
told me to invite you.
Sorry he couldn't
call you directly.
Actually, I spoke to Bill
the other day.
He talked at length
about snowshoes.
He went on and on.
[laughs][groaning]
But the problem is
we don't have anyone
to watch Charlie, so...
Covered. Sweet young girl
named Michelle
takes care of the dogs
while we're gone.
Oh.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Okay, fine.Yes!
Start packing!
Come on, Vinnie.
[squealing]
I think we need a new tree.
What do you mean?
What's wrong
with the tree we got?
[electronic humming]
[music playing]
Oh.
[automated voice]
Please, somebody help me.
[distorted music plays]Yeah, we need a new tree.
[narrator] So, it was off
to the Christmas tree farm.
Charlie helped Jenna and Robert
find the perfect tree.
Thankfully, someone
other than Robert was there
to strap the tree in place.
Slowly but surely, the house
started coming together
and it began to transform
into a home.
Perhaps Christmas
wouldn't be lost this year
after all.
[barking]
Charlie, what in the...
Let's put up
some Christmas lights.
Uh... Already?
We haven't finished the...
We're the only house
without 'em.
[electronic chirping]
Okay.
[barking]
Jenna, open the door.Locked out?
Oh, hi. Um...
Christmas lights.Oh, wow, you're dedicated.
Yeah.Isn't it a little late?
Well, apparently,
it's very important
to my daughter Jenna
that I do it right now.
[chuckles]
[Gidget] So, I see
you're not hiding today.[Charlie] Hiding?
[Gidget] Yeah.
You were spinning in circles
pretending to look for a box.
[Charlie] Oh, that!
I totally forgot about that.
Crazy thing, that darn box
still remains elusive
to this day.
So...
Um...
A welcome-to-the-neighborhood/
early Christmas gift.
My own design.
Sorry it's not wrapped.
Wow! What is it?
Is it a potato gun?
Um, sort of. It's, uh...
[Gidget] These two are gonna
need our help, aren't they?
[Charlie] Definitely.
Maybe I can bring him over
for a playdate sometime?
[Gidget] Was that your attempt
to invite yourself over?
[Charlie] No! No, no, no...
Well, maybe.
Well, I'll let you
get back to it.
Thank you,
and merry Christmas.
Here. Corwin used to
lock himself out
all the time.
They say the smart ones
are the most forgetful.
Come on, Gidge.
[Gidget]
That playdate sounds nice.
Come on, let's go. Bye.
Come on, Gidget.
Wow.
Looks like our neighbors
are getting cozy.
[Vinnie] Yeah. Too cozy.
Yes?Good afternoon, ma'am.
We're here to--
Are you from the Christmas
decorating service?
Uh...
Yeah, we are.
Oh, thank goodness,
I've been waiting.
Come on in.
This tea was good.I'm glad you liked it.
I cannot tell you
how happy I am
that you boys are here.
[crash][Lenny] Sorry!
What's going on there?That's my partner.
He makes a lot of noise,
but he's trying to do
something very special.
Thank you so much.Please keep it down.
You're gonna be very happy.I'm so appreciative
that you came.
Love this tea.He's still making noise...
No, no. Oh![crash]
Hey, Lenny!That was a big one.
Lenny! Please don't
break anything.It's not broke!
You're in good hands.And the tree is looking good?
The tree is beautiful.I'm so happy.
Very beautiful.[crash]
Shut up!Sorry.
You sure he's okay?He's fine.
No, please, just calm... Lenny!I think I'm gonna go
check on him.
That's fine. Sit down.Are you sure?
I'm loving
this dart board here.
This dart board is amazing.
I'm glad you enjoyed that.Where'd you get
this dart board?
That's for my grandson, Billy.
He loves to play darts.
Yeah, he got that?Yeah.
Wow. I would've thought
you gave him cash
or something.
You know, or give him jewelry.No, just a little old
dart board.
Just a little old dart board.[laughs] Just a little
old dart board?
It seems like
he's in trouble back there.
No, no, no.
He's making progress.
He's almost done.
He's loading everything up.
He's stacking everything.And I won't trip over it?
No, you won't trip
'cause this place
is gonna be cleaned out.
I can't believe
that he's okay
with all that noise.
Hey, have you
lost your marbles?
Yeah, that's a little thing
I got to remind him.
[both laughing]
I got to remind him.
[doorbell rings, knocking]
Come in!
You guys all packed up
and ready?
Almost.[Victor] How we doing?
Oh.
Everyone ready to go?I was just leaving.
[Vinnie]
Robert's ready to go
sleep with the fishes.
[Robert groans]Oh, my gosh, are you okay?
[Charlie]
Hey! You did that on purpose!
[groans]
I think I sprained my ankle.
I can't go skiing.
Can't never could.
You'll be fine.
Something like that
would never hold me back.
Now, man up.
Come on, let's go.
Get up.
I've got Johnson's crutches
from last year you can use.
[groaning][grunts]
I kept them around
just in case. [laughs]
The guy's such a klutz.
Here we go.
Hi! I'm Michelle.
Keys, please.
Oh. The spare
is under the mat in there.
And whatever you do,
don't use the bathroom
downstairs.
[chuckles] Hi, Charlie!
Hello, hello, hello.
Hi, Holly!Hi.
Thanks for doing this.
Listen, easy on the treats
this time, okay?
Gidget's tummy's been
a little sensitive.
Got it.
No treats, no problem.
Thank you.You guys have fun!
Keys, please.
We'll be back soon, okay?
You be a good boy.
Bye, Charlie.
[whimpering]
[Vinnie]
Goodbye, sweet prince.
Grandma, what happened?
Doesn't the place
look great?
Oh, my God.
[Vinnie] Jose, I got
a specific job for you.
[Jose]
What is it, boss? Tell me!
Anything, anything!
[panting]
[Jose clears throat]
Charlie,mi amigo!
Why you have no fun
like the other dogs, huh?
It's party time, man!
[Charlie] I don't really
feel like it, Jose.
Can you come back another--
[Jose] Something wrong?
You can tell me.
I promise I will tell everyone.
[Charlie]
I miss my family.
[Jose] Ah,s, s, s.
I got just the thing
to cheer you up,hombre.
Oops! Whoa, whoa!
[Jose] Make yourselves
at home,perros.
[Charlie] Whoa, whoa, whoa![Jose cackling]
Why is Tiny
breaking my door?[crash]
[Jose] He too big!
Toogrande. Muy grande.
[laughs]
Delicioso.
[farts]
I'm so sorry.
[Bernard]
Now where's the chili?
I would like to apologize
for what snuck out
between my cheeks.
[Charlie] Huh? Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What? Hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Why are you guys doing this?
Gidget, what's going on?
Why are you guys doing this?
[Gidget]
I didn't agree to this.
I didn't know
they were gonna do this.
I'm so, so sorry.
[Charlie] Gidget...
No!
Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey!
Is that our remote control? No!
Why are you guys doing this?
[Jose] Vinnie P
couldn't make it,
but he say welcome
to the neighborhood!
[cackles]
[Vinnie]
If he ain't out of town
by tomorrow morning,
you'll never leave
except for in a pine box.
I'm taking over this territory.
From now on, it's mine.
[narrator]
The journey to Big Bear
was well underway.
Let's check in on
our Pet Tech road warriors.
Edward and Courtney seem
to be holding up just fine.
Oh, boy.
Johnson isn't looking so hot.
He once got seasick watching
a miniature toy boat race.
Hang in there, kid.
Well, it looks like
our little matchmaker
Jenna's plan
is coming together nicely,
and wow, Victor looks like
a boiling sausage.
Meanwhile,
our two Rhodes scholars
are out shopping for a new car.
Victor, fresh out of the oven
after three-and-a-half hours
of marinating in a stew
of rage and blinding jealousy,
decided it was time
to launch his devious plot.
Like any good leader,
Victor sensed just when
to swoop in
with a pep talk
and thoughtful encouragement.
Hello, Old Blind Lady
Christmas Charities.
How can I be of service?
[man] You boys ready to make
a little Christmas money?
Oh, yeah.
Are you old and blind? It's Victor, you idiot!
Who is it?Shut up. It's Victor.
Hi, Victor! Hi!
Shut up. Do you have
a secure line up yet?
I need both of you
to head up to Big Bear.
Yeah. It's very important.
He's saying something
about a bear.Like Smokey the Bear?
No. Hey, Victor, what kind
of bear ya talking about?
It's a place, you idiot.
Look at a map.
Today, be there.
You understand?
Meet me at Cronies. Cronies.
You understand?
Yeah, I got it.[line disconnects]
Great! Now he's mad.
He's mad?Yeah, get a map or something.
Look up Big Bear.We can use the GPS tracker
on the phone.
The window is open,
you idiot.
[horn honking]
[Charlie] Mail people.
Wrong place, wrong time.
This is the best job
in the world.
No customers to deal with,
great benefits,
just cruising
in the mail truck
delivering mail.
Mail delivery.
[blowing nose]
Here. Save that.
May need it later.
Cold?
Dogs.
Dogs?
[chuckles nervously]
Dogs?
They didn't tell me about dogs.
Should've been an Uber driver.
[growling]
[stammering]
There's a dog![man] Told ya.
[Charlie] You've come to the
wrong neighborhood, mailman.
Start the car!It's still running.
I'm running! 911!
Give me your hand!Call the Dog Whisperer!
Cesar Millan! Cesar Millan!Come on!
[screaming][fabric ripping]
It's just a dog.
Oh, yeah,
easy for you to say.
[Charlie]
Now, to deliver this letter.
There we go. Now, hopefully
this gets to Grandpa Peter
in time for Christmas.
Joy to the world
The Lord is come
Let Earth receive her King
Let every heart
Prepare him room
You look great, guys.
Let's take a picture.
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and heaven
And nature sing
Johnson, take that inside.
He rules the world
With truth and grace
You and me.
Is it just me, or is Victor
a Creepy McCreepy Creeperson?
He's all right.
He's just...
Oh! Oh![laughing]
[muttering]
Ooh!Excuse me...
Dr. McCreeperson with a PhD.Yeah.
The glories of
His righteousness
And wonders of his love
And wonders of his love
All right, come on,
let's get inside.
And wonders
Wonders of his love
[Gidget] Need a friend?
[Charlie] Your boyfriend
know you're here?
[Gidget]
Vinnie P is not my boyfriend.
We were just obeying orders.
[Charlie] Why is everyone
obeying that clown?
[Gidget]
Vinnie P was here first.
I guess we all just
kind of followed his lead.
He wasn't always so bad.
Our humans have a way
of shaping our lives.
Get stuck with a rotten one
like Victor, and, well,
there ya go.
[Charlie]
Has anyone ever challenged him?
[Gidget] Vinnie P has a way
of making problems disappear.
But there was one dog
he could never tame.
[Jose]
Jefe! Jefe! Jefe! Jefe!
[narrator]
So Gidget set off across town
to find the only dog that had
ever outsmarted Vinnie P.
She had to dare
to go to a place
that no sane dog would--
the junkyard.
And why did no dog dare enter?
There were cats.
[Oliver]
What kind of a disorganized
trash bin is this?
[Gidget] Oliver?[Oliver] Where did I put
my sandwich?
[meows][Gidget] Whoa!
[Oliver]
Gidge! Long time no see.
What can I do ya for?
[Gidget]
Came to see an old friend.
Any luck on your search?
[Oliver] Nothing in here
but rotten filth.
[Gidget] I meant the search
for your human.
[Oliver] Look, if he hasn't
found me by now,
I doubt I'll ever find him.
I haven't seen Corwin
since Victor got us
kicked out of the house.
I thought moving into
a dumpster made sense.
They can't kick ya out of here.
Plus, no mailmen.
[Gidget] I'm sorry, Ollie.
[Oliver] C'est la vie.
What brings you out here?
[Gidget]
I need you to meet someone.
[Oliver]
If this has anything to do
with the Dogfather,
can't help you, kid.
[Gidget]
There will be kibble.
[Benny] Which way?[Lenny] That one!
You mean the pink?No, the other.
The blue? The purple?The rainbow-colored one.
Wait, wait, wait.Yeah, that one, right there!
The blue? The pink?No, the other.
Make up your mind!No, no, no. That's purple.
Benny, are you crying?You said the pink one.
Behind you.The rainbow-colored one.
Lenny, what?Yeah.
Behind Lenny, you idiot!
Santa Claus?Santa Claus?
Here, you got to take a picture.
Take a picture.
Yeah, good idea.Hey, Santa.
I need new tires,
a paint job,
I need a new car...
You don't have a car, Lenny.
Santa?
Victor?Get off me!
Boss, what are you doing?
Look, I wrote it all down
so you bozos won't
screw it up.
And no phone calls.
I'll contact you on my secure
line in a couple of days.
I can't stress this enough.
It's really important.
I need all of his research.
Check everywhere.
Check his computer,
his desk, the closet,
the cabinets, the bedroom,
the toilets.
Toilets?Everywhere!
Don't leave
any stone unturned!
Do you understand?
I understand, boss,
I got it.
Boss, I gotta ask,
why are you dressed
like Santa Claus?
It's none of your business.
'Cause I like Christmas,
that's why.
Here you go. Half now,
half upon delivery.
It's, like, 40 bucks.
Yeah, that's half
of the half now.
Half of the half...
All right, I got it. I got it.
You can count on me, boss.
I got ya.
Hey, take this,
you idiot.
Okay.
And make sure-- Hey![Benny] Yeah?
And make sure that dodo bird
doesn't go and screw it up.
I can't afford
to look stupid.
Okay, I got it. I'm on it.
You can trust me.
[sighs] These idiots.
[doorbell rings]
Hi, we're collecting
for the blind.
Your donation
is a blessing.
[coins rattle]
I'm sorry.
The owner's not here.
I just walk the dogs
while they're away.
That's a cute dog.[Charlie]
Who are these clowns?
Very, very cute dog.
[grunts]
Hey, it's the smell.
They'll be back
in a few days.
You can come back then.
I have to go.
Excellent. Very excellent.
I'll be back. Very excellent.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks. Bye.See you later. Bye.
I'm still speaking.
[Charlie]
No. No, no, out. Out!
[Oliver] Relax, dog.[Charlie] Who are you
and why are you in my house?
[Gidget]
This is him. He's the one.
[Charlie]
A terrier? You're the one
that defied Vinnie P?
[Oliver] Name's Oliver.
And it ain't about the size
of a dog in a fight.
[Charlie] It's the size
of the fight in the dog.
I wanna hear all about it.
[Oliver]
I, the great and valiant Oliver
of the dumpster,
will show you the way.
But first, I was told
there would be food.
[Vinnie]
Mess with the big dog,
you're gonna get bit.
[Jose] And fleas... Shut up, you. Shut up!
...in the most hardest
to scratch areas.
On your backside.
[Oliver] And I said
terriers are the best
doggone breed there is,
bull face.
[Charlie] No way!
He didn't clobber you?
[Oliver] He couldn't catch me.
[Charlie]
Oh, man, that is great.
[Oliver] To be honest,
Vinnie P caught a bad rap.
Ever since Victor betrayed
Corwin and got him fired,
things were different.
[Gidget]
Victor was even married once.
He kinda lost it when she left.
Snapped, ya know?
And Vinnie P, he absorbed
all that negativity.
[Charlie]
That's unfortunate.
But he can be different.
No one's above change.
[Oliver]
Don't hold your breath.
[Vinnie]
Yo, hey! Come out and face me.
I'm taking back this territory!
[whining]
[Oliver]
The Dork Father beckons.
[Jose] These doggies
are in for it now.
[Oliver]
Hey, you can't take back
what was never yours.
This yard was mine
and now it's Charlie's.
[Vinnie] I took it from you.
I'll take it from him.
Go back to your dumpster, mutt.[Charlie]
Get out of my yard, Vinnie.
[Vinnie] Make me.[Charlie] You sure
you want me to?
[chattering]
[sighs]
[Bill] Sorry I'm late, gang.
Oh! [laughing]
Look, Bill, it's you.Ah!
So it is.Yeah, I painted it myself.
Oh, interesting.
[clears throat]
On behalf of your humble
Pet Tech team,
thank you for bringing us
out here every ten years.
Most generous.
I don't not disagree.
[laughs]
[chair legs scraping]
Whoo!
So!
How did it go
out there today?
I must have fallen
a dozen times.
I'm not feeling so well.
Still stuffed
from all the snow I ate.
I didn't fall once.
There's nothing wrong
with eating snow,
as long as it's not yellow.
Ew![laughter]
Sounds like
we should've brought along
Jennifer's product.
It's gross, but...
Do we really have to
listen to this
while we're eating?
No, Jennifer, really.
Continue.
It's silly, but basically
I found a way to purify...
Dog pee.
[snickers]
Yes, thank you, Holly.
Urine into purified,
vitamin-based water.
Wow, and this is for dogs?
For anyone brave enough,
really.
What's it called?
P-cubed.
The Pee-Pee Purifier.
[laughter]Why isn't this in every store
across the world?
It will be. Next spring.
Bravo. Bravo!
[laughs]
And while we're at it,
Robert,
Holly developed
the first pooper-scooper
using a projectile-discharge
mechanism.
But I'm sure
you knew that.
Like a potato gun.
Got any neighbors
you don't like, Robert?
[laughter]
Edmond here created Everbath,
the first canine shampoo
that will keep a dog clean
forever, or so he claims.
Of course, Madeline,
she was the first woman
at Pet Tech
to successfully train
guinea pigs using '80s music.
Not bad.So, are we all
caught up now?
And let's not forget Robert's
brilliance by revolutionizing
canine potty training
with the Pooch Flush 3000.
It's a great product.Well, thank you.
Glad to have you
on board, Robert.
What are you doing next?
Well, it's a very
complicated--
Wow.
Whoops.Wow.
Wow, everybody okay?
Johnson's down, sir.
Johnson, quit messing around
and get back up here.
Come on, buddy.
[whimpering]
So, where were we?
Well, as I was saying...
Hold that for the presentation
for the board meeting.
Big bonuses at stake.
Know what I mean?
[exclaims][laughing]
Thank you, sir.
[Bill] Drink up.
Eat up. Enjoy.[Victor] Thanks.
Johnson,
get your ass up there.
Goddamn embarrassing.
Sit down.
[Robert] It's okay.
Shh.
[rattling]
[no audible dialogue]
What are you doing?
All right, come on.
Shh, shh.
[Charlie]
Oh, no. Think, think.
[automated voice]
I am the bone collector.
I will bury--
[Charlie]
Which one of these connects
to the speaker?
I think it's...No, no.
Got it!
[automated voice]
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones.
Give me your bones.
Bones, please. Your bones."Give me your bones"?
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones.
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones.
Give me your bones.
Give me your bones.
Bones, please. Your bones.
What the heck?Holy shih tzu!
[both yelling]
[both groan]
Get off me!
Yeah! Yes!
Can we do that again?Shut up!
You know,
my ankle's feeling
a lot better today.
I thought snowboarding
would be easier,
but it's not.
It hurts.
Maybe you should hang back
with my dad tomorrow.
Good night, guys.[Robert]
Hey, where are you going?
It's an hour
past my bedtime.
Good night, Jenna.
Yeah, we can watch
the soaps tomorrow.[no audible dialogue]
Johnson, I heard you were
quite the collegiate
athlete, huh?
[groans]
I was on the debate team.
Hey, so was I. You know
what's important, Victor?
Although you might fall,
that you get back up.
Uh... [clears throat]
I never fall. Ever.
[screaming]
Yeah, I was cut off.By a tree.
Trees can be crafty.
Yeah, you better be careful.
Next time you might run into
a bigger tree. [laughing]
[laughing] That's funny.
That's funny.
It seems to me Robert is
a man who comes prepared.
A man who knows
when to be careful.
[both laughing]
Are we still
talking about skiing?
Hey! Everyone ready?
For what?
Company game night.
Oh! Ooh! Ah!
She asked me
What my name was
I said, "I've got no name"
B-20.Hit.
She asked me once again
I said
"I've got no question"
Under the bright blue sky
[cheering]
[grunting]
[grunting]
[groans]
That was a mistake.
I've got no bright idea
Where we go this time
Where will we go?
I've got no bright idea
Where we go, I don't know
Till the last good time
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
[groans]
[man] Oh, yeah!
[laughter]
This is so stupid.
Look, there's something
I want to share with you.
There's a time
in every man's life
when he starts to think
to the future,
to the next chapter.
My time at Pet Tech
is just about done,
and I need someone I can trust
to take the reins
for the next 20, 25 years.
Keep my legacy alive.
It's taken a lot of thought,
but I think I know
just the man for the job.
Wow, Bill, I'm so honored.
I think Robert's our man.
[both laugh]
Wait, what? The new guy?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But you hardly know him.
I know! Bold move, right?
But I've been at the company
for 15 years.
Which makes you perfect
for the man
to help him learn the ropes.
He's a real talent.
That's why I brought him in,
obviously.
But someone
has to watch his back
and support him.
And as my long-standing
senior manager...
with a heart of gold
and a brain of platinum,
I know you are just the guy.
[sighs]
Yes, you know me well, Bill.
[laughs]
Thank you.
Let's get drunk.
Ah!
I'm so glad
we had that talk.
[groaning]
Johnson! Wow, I see
you take your downtime
quite literally.
[whimpering]
Where's the punch?
We all experiment, right?
She hated that thing.
And we'd be going so fast,
she'd have trouble breathing.
So we had to slow down.
Almost never finished.
It was very frustrating.Oh.
I totally understand
the feeling.
So that's when we created
Easy Harness.
It changed our lives.
Wow.Sorry. I'm talking too much.
No, I love hearing
about this.
You've done an amazing job
with Jenna. She's incredible.
It's really a testament
to your parenting.
She's everything to me.
It shows.
She's very lucky
to have you.
I'll be right back.
You should see this house.
I'm not cleaning it again.
Just wow.
But I have to walk Charlie--[barking]
[Charlie]
Peter! Where have you been?Charlie!
Hey, bud, I've missed you!
Scratch that.
Let me call you back.
I'm Peter. I believe
my granddaughter Jenna
lives here.
I'm Michelle.
I'm dogsitting while
everyone's up in Big Bear.
Oh, I see.
Would it be okay if I took
Charlie off your hands
for a little while?
We used to love
our long walks and talks.
You are a lifesaver.
An old man
and a teenybopper?
[laughing]
It's interesting, huh?
Yeah.
And that dumb dog.
I can't stand that dog.
Come on, let's make a move.
Hey!
Len! Come on. Wake up.Mama!
"Mama!" Wake up. Here.
Come on, take a look.
Benny,
it's the bone collector.
Yeah, hardly, you numb truck.
Come on. Let's go.
What's a numb truck?
You mean a nunchuck?
Yeah, nunchuck.I used to do that.
Come on, come on!Hold up,
I need to go to the bathroom.
Wait, wait, wrong way.
This way.Wrong way?
Come on. Move.I have GPS.
Forget the GPS.
Let's go.
I sure enjoy our walks.
[Charlie]
Oh, I've missed you too, Peter.
[chuckles]
You're probably wondering
why I haven't been around.
It's a little complicated.
You see, Robert,
he adored Zoe.
They did everything together.
Raising Jenna
or troubleshooting inventions.
One day,
they got this crazy idea
for a dog translator.
Believe that? Maybe.
I've been in the pet business
30 years.
Craziest idea I ever heard.
Well...Anyway,
they worked on it together,
but Zoe died
before they could finish it.
I told him it was foolish
to keep at it.
That he needed to spend
more time with Jenna.
So we argued.
I went too far,
and he stopped speaking to me.
I wish I'd understood
how important it was to him.
I see that now.
It made him feel like
she's still there,
working right beside him.
So Robert
can't let the project go
because he can't let Zoe go.
Maybe if he could finish it,
he could find some peace.
I want that for him. I do too.
[young mailman]
Can't we just mail it?
Nope.
I want to go home.Nope.
Maybe you can take it
to the door and I can--
Is that what you really want?
Nope.
Howdy, fellas.
Hey, is your dog locked up?
I was just walking him.
Not my dog,
he's my friend.
Well, your friend
is really vicious.
Maybe you can
take this package.
Nope.
[Charlie] No, no, no, no!
Robert's research!
All of his work
was on that computer.
[Oliver]
Mate, I smell mail people.
[Charlie] No, this was human.
[Oliver]
Mate, this was mail people.
I'm telling ya.
When you're not looking,
they break into your house,
eat all the dog food
and take all the dog treats.
They're vile and disgusting.
Just when you think
you've snuffed one out,
another one pops in its place.
Like a cockroach.
No, actually,
I like cockroaches much better.[horn honking]
See? I was right!
The nose knows!
Go on.
Oh, God.
[Charlie panting]
[Charlie]
I've got you now, mailman.
Uh-oh. [laughing]
What do I do?
Come here.You come here.
[Charlie] Slow and steady.
That's right. Back up.
Come on. Come on.
See how easy it was?[Charlie] Gotcha!
[Oliver]
We meet again, Frank.
[Charlie] Oliver,
ready to chow down?
[Oliver]
Ready, guv'nor.
[barking]
[Oliver] Ya messed with
the wrong cul-de-sac.
[Charlie] That's right.
You're not going anywhere.
All right,
let's show these clowns!
Now! Vengeance is mine!
Hi, it's Michelle.
[sighs] There's something
I have to tell you.
That's gone too.
The whole place is in shambles.
I'm so sorry.
Grab your boots.
Holly and I
are going sledding.
I'm not much
for sledding right now.
Come on, stinker.
It'll be great.
Jenna, I just told you
I don't want to go.
Go without me, okay?
Since when do you feel like
doing anything that doesn't
revolve around you?
Excuse me?You heard me.
I don't even know
who you are anymore.
Hey! Hey!
Watch it, young lady.
Who puts the food
on the table, all right?
Or buys the clothes
that you wear,
or pays for the big room
you live in? I do, okay?
I don't bother you
about anything.
Not your chores, your homework.
Nothing. I just let you be.
Just let me be, all right?
Just leave me alone.
Mom's dead, Dad.
She's gone.
I know that's why
you bury yourself
in your work.
But guess what?
I'm still very much alive.
You act like I died with her.
I can't even storm out of here
saying I want to go home.
'Cause I don't.
O holy night
The stars
Are brightly shining
Too many more of these
and you won't feel like
skiing tomorrow.
Oh, yeah. About that...
Oh, bummer.
That's too bad.
I see it in here
all the time.
Really?No. Not really.
Slopes get you?I wish.
Happened before we left town.
Hmm.
[sobbing]
Are you crying?No, I'm not.
[sniffles] It's not...
[sobbing]
It's just the altitude
in the bar.
Well, it can't be
all gloom and doom.
It seems to me that
you've got a little girl
quite fond of you.
Oh, Holly?
She's just a coworker.
I was talking about
that angelic daughter
of yours.
You're a lucky man.
She hates me.
I don't believe that
for a second.
No child
truly hates their parent.
Especially one
that looks at you
with that glimmer in her eye.
Well, that glimmer's long gone
after the fight we had.
Everybody argues, fella.
Human nature.
What matters is,
is that you deal with it.
Face it head on,
don't let it fester.
Listen,
I've got daughters of my own.
[chuckles]
We've had our share.
Hoo, boy.
Mostly about boys like us.
I am not looking forward
to that.
The point is,
we got through it.
Just like
you'll get through this.
See, that's the beauty
of children.
The light in their eyes.
They understand forgiveness.
I don't know
if I deserve forgiveness.
I've completely ignored her
for the past three years
ever since...
Ever since my wife, her mother,
passed away, it's been rough.
I've just buried myself
in the work.
And now
it's all for nothing.
Because it's stolen.
Things come and go.
The people in our lives
is what counts.
But the prototype,
my work,
the time,
the effort and energy.
I was on the cusp
of something great!
I was about to make my mark.
It was my heart and soul.
Oh, boo-hoo!
That's horse pucky.
That little girl,
she's your heart and soul.
And if you couldn't see that,
well, whatever you lost
needed to go.
Tell me what you see.
My hangover.
Things cloud
our relationships.
Or block them out
completely.
You see that family
out there?
How about now?
The higher we hold things...
the harder it is
to see the people
that we love.
You know, whatever you lost,
this research and whatnot,
it could be replaced.
But just don't replace it
with other things.
Wow.
I don't know where to begin
or where to start.
Well, what does she want
more than anything?
Christmas with family.
What's stopping you?
Nothing.
So are you going to continue
this pity party
and mull around my bar
crying in your sad pants
and drinking up my eggnog?
Or are you gonna make
that little girl's Christmas
special?
Thanks for the advice.
He didn't pay his tab.
[Benny] Hey, boss.What have you done?
We wrecked the joint
just like you wanted.
I didn't ask you
to wreck the joint.
I said grab the invention
and all his research!
But boss, the computer
was password protected.
We couldn't get in.
So we, you know,
we destroyed it.
We thought it would be fun.
I pay you to follow orders!
Why didn't you just
grab the computer?
I could've figured out
the password later!
Never mind.
Never mind.
So, you got the prototype,
right?
It's not the end of the world.
I can just reverse engineer
the translator from that.
Prototype?
Tell me you got the one
he already built, you dolt!
I'm confused. I mean...
Should we go back?Yes! Go back! Find...
Find it!
Everyone's coming back tomorrow!
Lenny!
Can't you steal
a better car?
He likes red.Who's he?
He's going to Santa Land.
Frosty the Snowman.
Oh, my God.
[rattling]
Look, I'm sorry--
No, but hey,
I'm sorry, okay?
I've been a jerk.
Ever since Mom...
Look, ever since
Mom passed away,
I haven't been able
to get past it, okay?
And I know that's
no excuse for the way
that I've ignored you.
And I thought that
I could just distract myself
with my work,
but in reality I was just...
I was just pushing you away.
Your mom does live on.
She lives on here.
She lives on here,
you know?
More importantly,
she lives on here!
I don't know
what I would do
if I lost you.
From now on,
work takes
a back seat, okay?
Okay.Okay?
Now, what do you say
we blow this Popsicle stand
and get out of here?
Thought you'd never ask!
Let's go!
Bring the shoe! Come on!
[Benny] Here.
Oh, Benny, you shouldn't have.
Hold on, it's not Christmas.
What's this for?For the dogs.
Just open it, would ya?Okay.
Why are we getting the dogs
a gift, Benny?
[laughing] Oh!
We're gonna shoot the dogs,
then we're gonna...
We gotta go back inside.
We're going back?
They're tranq darts.
Yes, we gotta go back
because you screwed up,
genius.
You screwed up.
You broke the computer.
That's not the way
we're gonna remember it.
Be careful, numbskull.
You poke yourself
with one of those,
you'll be numb for hours.
Okay.
How many darts
do we have? Huh?
I got an idea.Yeah?
I got an idea.You got an idea?
Go ahead, spit it out.
So it's not gonna take too long
to get in, get the prototype,
and get out, right?
I wouldn't think so.And we got
the whole neighborhood,
every one of these houses
and the dog park
to ourselves, right?
Okay, go ahead. Go on.
Why are we only hitting
the inventor's house?
Why don't we hit
every single one of 'em?
You know, with my intellectual
mental telepathy that I have,
I actually can't believe
that the words are gonna
come out of my mouth.
That's not a bad idea.
That's the nicest thing
you ever said to me, Benny.
This ain't easy.
You know what?
We're gonna need
a bigger truck.
And I know
just where to get one.
Let's go. Put it in the bag.
All right, come on.Why do we need a truck?
[Jose] Oh, no.
[speaks Spanish]
[panting]
Jefe! Jefe! Jefe! Jefe!
[Vinnie] How many times
do I have to tell you
not to call me that?
[Jose]
I sorry, man. I sorry.
I mean, Dogfather.
Bad guys are coming,seor!
Bad guys are coming tonight!
For everybody! Ourcasas! I can't understand you.
Slow down!
Our dignity! Oh,jefe! I don't speak Chihuahua.
Slow down! They're coming.
Hey!
[Jose] Gracias, seor.
I needed that.
[Vinnie] Now, who do you say
is stupid enough
to mess with
the Dogfather's territory?
[Jose]
Banditos, ese. Banditos!
[Vinnie]
Hey, you silly Chihuahua!
Banditos, seor. Hey!
[Jose] I mean Dogfather.
[Vinnie] All right, listen up.
We've got a very real threat
that's...
Hey! You weren't invited.
Get out.
[Charlie] I have a plan
that can help everybody.
But we need to work together
and put our differences aside.
Vinnie P, you have to trust me.
[Vinnie] Trust you?
Who do you think you--
[Gidget] Enough!
You're not a leader!
You're a bully.
This is our one shot
to save Christmas,
and it's gonna take all of us.
We need you,
but you need to leave
your bulldog ego at the door.
[Vinnie]
Christmas-smishmas.
But this is our home.
And nobody messes
with our home.
I'm all ears...
and face.
What's this brilliant plan
of yours?
[Charlie]
We'll set our defenses here.[Vinnie] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why your house? Why not--[Charlie]
Vinnie, look around you.
You see all these useless,
malfunctioning inventions
we're surrounded by?
Each one
is a major safety hazard,
and that's what makes them
perfect for our defenses.
Look, these two
aren't gonna stop until
they find what they're after--
the most important
invention of all.
It's very special.
When Robert gets it to work,
we'll be able to communicate
with our humans.
In their language.
We'll be the first talking dogs
in history.
[Vinnie] Then we give them
all they can handle.
We have to protect this.
[Jose]
But they're humans!
Evil humans!
They're big, they're mean,
they're--
[Vinnie]
They're never gonna
see us coming.
[Jose]
I hope you're right
on that one.
[Charlie] Each of you
has a dog superpower,
and we're gonna use 'em all.
[Vinnie] Let's go save
stinking Christmas.
[Charlie]
Operation One "Ruff" Christmas
is a go.
Remember, we stick together.
Wait for my signal.
Tonight, we protect our homes.
Tonight, we save Christmas.
[Vinnie]
Tonight, we bring the pain.
[farting][Bernard] Excuse me.
I would like to apologize
to everybody in the room
who just witnessed
a little sneaky
between my cheeks.
[Oliver]
Cats are smarter than dogs,
they said.
No thumbs, they said.
Zonks!
[Gidget] Lock and load.
[alarm ringing]
Coming through!
[Oliver] Fire in the hole!
[whimpering]
All right.Yeah?
Let's get
the prototype first,
and then we hit the rest
of these godforsaken houses.
Then we ride off
into the sunset.Let's do it. But it's daytime.
It's an expression,
right, Lenny?It is?
Benny, what's a prototype?Let's go, all right?
All right, come on.
Let's make a move.
Cross-cross!
Cross-cross!What am I looking for?
Where are you going?Like crisscross!
You remember crisscross?
Going for a pass.
Okay, now I'll go.That's it.
Okay, here we go.Come on.
Go ahead. Go, Benny.
Go, go, go, Benny!
Victor's gonna be
so proud of us.
Think we'll get a bonus?
Go ahead.Okay, okay.
Benny!
Someone's home, Benny!
I ain't buying it. Shh.
They just put the light on.
Where?Right in there, look.
There's a light on.
All right, step back.What do you mean?
I am back.
[barking]
What'd I tell ya?
It's just that stupid dog.
[barks] Get ready!
I've seen this in the movies.
We're good.Go ahead.
Here we go. I got it. Ready!
Now!
What are you doing?
I thought you knew
how to do that.
I do.
The lights are off, right?
Yeah.Okay, let's do this.
You go first.
I'm lactose intolerant.
Go ahead.
[alarm blaring]
You hear that?What?
It's the Bat Signal.
I think he's alerting
all his buddies.
Shut up, Lenny.
Get in there.
In here? Me?
Okay, I'll go first.
Here goes, Benny.[Oliver] Bernard,
release the beans!
[Bernard] Hello!
[farting]
[screams]
Mama!
Ew!
Oh, God!
Chemical warfare, Benny!Get out!
Get out![coughing]
All right, let me try this. Don't worry.
I saved some for you too.
[farting]Ooh!
It stinks!
[continues coughing]
Ooh! Aah!
[retches]
[coughing]
Oh, Benny.Aah! Lenny!
My eyes!You okay, Benny?
It's as if an angel wrapped
its arms around me
and graced me
with his heavenly breeze.Really?
No. Shut up, you idiot!
Go ahead!
Come on.Chili?
[Oliver] Surf's up!
[rumbling]What is that?
You hear that?
Where's that coming from?
I can't see.
Earthquake?What is it?
I don't know.An earthquake?
No, it's coming
from up here somewhere.Where?
Over here?
[both scream]
Benny, I can't swim!
I can't swim!
Back up, Lenny!Back up.
All right, here we go!
[grunting]
[Charlie] Bozos are here!
Get ready!
[both grunting]
[Charlie] Paw bump.
[Lenny] I'm going this way.[Benny] Get that dog!
[panting]
Whoops![laughs]
[grunting]
[groans]
[Oliver] It's times like these
I wish I had thumbs.
Boy, this is a big house.
Oh![automated voice]
Perfect spin on that ball.
[Lenny grunting] Ow!
[automated voice]
And he gets the spare.
I'm okay, Benny!
Son of a gun.
All right, let's go this way.
Follow me.
Be careful. Watch out
for those bowling balls.
Big black ones.They don't scare me.
[Charlie] Charlie to serve.
Ooh! Ace! Fifteen-love.What was that? What was that?
[Lenny] Big black ones.
Again? Stop.[chuckles] Thirty-love.
Forty-love.Hey, hey, cut it out!
That's enough.
Benny, what is that?I don't know.
Benny, what are you doing? Game, set, match.
Hey!
What, are you kidding me?
Son of a gun.
What? Is that it?
[Charlie] Want to go bowling?
Ooh![both grunting]
Strike!
Oh, Benny.
[both groaning]
That freaking dog.
I'm gonna get that dog.
Freaking devil dogs.
I want to go home, Benny.
I want my mama, Benny.
Look around.
Look at all this.
It's got to be here somewhere.
Look hard! We got to find
this freaking thing!
I'm looking!
[whirring]
[screaming]
[automated voice]
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones.
[continues screaming] Give me your bones.
I am the bone collector.
I will bury your bones.
[laughs] Give me your bones.
Give me your bones.
Bones, please. Your bones.
[Oliver] Over here,
ya silly sausages.
Huh. Look it! The dog!
He's got the collar!
Well, go get him!The dog!
[Oliver barks]
Hello, guv'nor.
[buzzer sounds]Ooh!
Hey! That's my Benny! Hey!
[buzzer sounds]
[Benny groans]
My huevos.
[automated voice]
Leash removal system
needs recalibrating.
[both groaning] That one hurt me.
Leash removal system fail.I can't feel my seat.
Watch my leg. Watch my leg.Benny.
[Benny] That's my bad leg.[Lenny] I've had enough.
Yeah, you had enough.Seven times, too many.
That's it!
What are you doing?
What's with the hat?What do you mean?
It works. It's protection.
Protection of what?
[Lenny]
You're just jealous 'cause
you look like Pancho Villa.
Now let's go get the dog.
I've had enough of this.
Take it easy. Be careful.
Be careful.There's a whole family
of them, Benny.
Come on. Be quiet.
Wait a second. Benny...What?
What's that?That's it!
Look! Oh, yeah! It's me.
I got it, Benny. It's on me.
Be careful.Come on, Benny.
What is that?
Egyptian or something?
Ready?
[both scream]
Boys, come in.
[Jose]
Excuse me,hombres.
I'm sorry I got my little leg
on your ear. I apologize.
Not much, but I apologize.
[Jose] This way,cabrn!
Get this little...
There it is. Whoa.
Benny, I--
I can do this alone.
Oh, yeah.
Bingo, punks.
The collar.
Oh. This is amazing.
It's the collar.
Victor and Benny
are gonna be so happy with me.
This is so good!
[laughs]
[Oliver] Right, let's do this.
Ready, guv'nor!
[Lenny]
I promised I could do it
and I did it!
Uh... Oh, no.
I think this is a fugazi.
Yeah. Look what I got.
Look what I got.
Lenny? Lenny!
[groans]
The room's spinning, Benny.
Please!
[cries]
[Jose] I'm getting dizzy.
[laughs]
I see you! I don't see you![Lenny] What are
you looking at?
I don't see you. I see you.What are you looking at?
[thuds] And he fell down!
[Benny] Lenny, I got it!
I got the collar.
Got it. This.
You got the collar?I got the collar.
What happened to you?
I...
What do you mean?
Oh. I got shipped. I...
You got what?Yeah. I...
What do you mean
you got shipped?
I was-- Yeah... I got...
My hands are tied.
Yeah, I can see that.
I got the collar!That's the collar!
Oh! You got the--I got the collar.
We got things to do.I'm gonna go do that.
You're gonna go what?
Where are you going?We got things to do.
Where are you going?
Don't do that thing.
Where are you going?
Don't go.
Don't do it.I'm not doing it.
Don't go there.Why would I?
Don't go there.No, I'm not.
Don't do it.I would never do that.
You hear what I said?No, listen. You stay here.
I said don't do it.I'm not. I'm not.
Do I look like
I'm walking away?
[bells tolling]
[dogs barking]
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Taco blaster.
Yeah, I can go for a taco.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
[whirring]
[screams]
[automated voice]
Taco sauce launched. Burns
going in. Burns going out.
Ah, tacos!
[automated voice] Meant for
tacos, not for eyeballs.
Must recalibrate.
Can't see a thing.
[sizzling]Aah!
It's burning! It's burning!
[buzzer]
Ooh! [grunting]
[groans]
Batter up.
Aah! [groans]
Hey, Benny!
Benny!
Ooh!
My balls!
[Lenny] Benny?What do you want?
[Lenny] Come on over, Benny.I'm burning and my balls hurt!
[Lenny] Your what? Come here.All right.
It's not working.Huh?
Usually, this goes off, Benny.
It's not working.
This has never happened before.What's the problem?
It didn't explode.
[Benny] Why?[Lenny] I don't know why.
Benny, what...What is that?
Maybe I should...
Yep. I'm gonna
flush it.
Oh! Benny, what was that?
[groans]
[Benny]
Told you to be more careful,
didn't I?
That water didn't taste
too bad, Benny.Yeah.
Where...
Where's the collar?It's right here.
No, the collar!
I left it right here,
numbnuts!
You lost the collar, Benny?
I didn't lose it!
Somebody robbed it!
Then you lost it!
If you said it was there
when you left...
Maybe it's in the bathroom.There he is!
Look, I got the dog.
He's got the collar!He does!
[Benny] I got him right now.
Here we go.[Charlie] Uh-oh. Oh, no, no, no.
That's it.
How do you like me now?
[Charlie] Why don't we...
Why don't we talk about this?
[Benny] Just shut up already.
Stop making noise.
[Charlie] Hey, what's that?Hey, freeze, dog!
I'm gonna shoot him right now!
Paws up, you freaking dog.
Stand up. Freeze, dog.
[Charlie] I think this is all
one big misunderstanding.
Crisscross.Cover me.
[Charlie]
This is not good.Don't move. Don't move.
[Charlie] Why don't, uh,
we just take a chill
for a second.
I got this dog
right where I want him.[Charlie] Fellas?
[chuckles] Hey, guys.
Come here.[Charlie] Why don't we talk
about this, guys?
I gotcha![Charlie] You guys into
kibble or wet food?
Wow, are you part ogre?
Gotcha! Ah! No surrender!
We... got... off...Benny, I need your help.
You're stronger than me. ...on... the wrong paw.
Benny, get in there![Charlie]
Belongs to my human!
I got it! Ahh!
[Charlie] Give it back.
That's Robert's!
What's that?Someone's at the door!
Hey, who are you two?Oh, my gosh, burglars!
Hey, who are you?Burglars! We're being robbed!
[Benny]
No, you're not being robbed.
You're being burglarized.
What do you think
you're doing here?
Hey, boss,
we got it just like you wanted,
the invention!
Shut up, heathen!
That was a rhetorical question!
Historical?
Hysterical.
Rhetorical, rhetorical!
That's it. Whatever.
Listen, boss...
I mean, Victor, you said...
You think
you can just come in here,
and break into my friend's place
and steal stuff?
Because we're doing
what we were told to...
Shut up!
Stop answering my questions!
All right. No more
Christmas cards for you.
I'm cutting you out, Victor!
Wait, you know these guys?
Uh... [clears throat]
What do you mean?
What do you mean,
what do I mean?
You know these people?
[chuckles nervously]
Yeah, right, now I remember.
You were those two bozos
I worked with on that
nonprofit thing a while back.
Tried to get them back
on their feet, but yeah,
guess that didn't work, huh?
Hey, uh, you got allergies
or something?
Something wrong with your eye?
Yeah, you're twitching, Victor.
You got, like, a big twitch.
[mouthing]
Dad, call the cops.I'm on it.
There's no need
to call the police.
Uncle Victor is here.
[grunts]Oh!
Hey, you can't do that!
That's my frien--
[grunts]Oh!
[crackling]Oh!
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no! Oh!
I'm so sorry, Robert.
No, that stupid thing
never worked to begin with.
It broke! Ah.
It was just a prototype,
and not a very good one.
Ah.
[whimpering]
Okay, go with this.
Wait, wait, wait!
God! Ah!
[whirring]
What?
Victor?Huh.
Victor...Huh?
Huh.Victor, what did you do?
Victor, you fixed it!
I did?You did! [laughs]
It works?
We need to try it out!
Charlie! Charlie, come here!
Charlie...
[whirring]
[automated voice] Hello, Jenna.[Jenna] It works!
Dad, it works!
That's amazing!
Victor... Victor, you fixed it.[chuckles]
That's amazing.
I can't believe it.
I'm speechless.
Victor, how can I repay you?
I don't think
you can ever repay me,
but, uh, why don't we partner up
on this little trinket here?
Wow, Victor,
you are unbelievable.
Wait, no, Holly.
Hear Victor out.
You've been the only one
to fix this device.
You stopped these goons.[Victor chuckles]
A partnership is only fair.
Yeah, uh, it just turns out
that copyright authors,
they don't really regard
a handshake
as being legally binding.
So, it just turns out
I have these papers
laying around. Here.
Mmm.
If you wouldn't mind signing
on the last page.
It says right there
that you get 100%
and we get the rest.
Uh...That doesn't make sense!
Shh. Okay, listen,
it's just some legal mumbo jumbo
that makes us partners
in the canine translator
that we developed.
Robert, don't sign that![automated voice]
Don't do it, Robert.
Victor hired these creeps.
What, Charlie?
[automated voice]
Victor hired these creeps
to steal your invention.
Hey! Uh...
Charlie?He's delusional!
Obviously,
we need to do more work
on this, hey, partner?
[automated voice]
I am not delusional.
You are a thief.
[both groaning] Don't do it.
Don't do it, Robert.
Be quiet![automated voice]
Thief! Thief! Thief!
You got to be careful.
Those dogs, they're too smart.
That dog might even be
smarter than me.
For crying out loud!Seriously! [groans]
[both gasp]
[groans]
[automated voice]
What is going on?
Quiet! No more games!
[automated voice]
What are you doing?
Shut up, dog.
Now you sign those papers
or the pup gets it.
Charlie![Holly] Hey, no!
Victor,
why are you doing this?
Why? Why?
I'll tell you why!
I've been working for
this godforsaken company
for 15 years.
Not one of my inventions
has been appreciated!
Instead, I've been passed up
for stupid dancing guinea pigs,
for stupid poo shooters...
Hey!You have them drinking urine!
Can you believe that
that mousy woman, Jennifer,
came up with a pee purifier,
and it was my invention,
my invention that sucked? No!
This is the year!
This is the year I win!
The year of Victor.
Now sign the damn thing!
Sign it!
That's right.
If you don't mind
signing the back as well.
Good. And the addendum.
Yeah,
my lawyer's real picky
about that stuff.
[chuckles]
Anybody know
a good notary public?
Uh... Okay, never mind.
Uh, okay, keep the pink copy.
The yellow one is mine.
Okay, you can put it
in my pocket.
Thank you very much.
Okay, good.
[sighs, chuckles]
What do you say, huh?
[Vinnie] Charlie, translate!
[Charlie] Got it![Vinnie] You're better than
this, Victor.
[automated voice]
You're better than this,
Victor.
What?[Vinnie] You don't
have to do this.
[automated voice]
You don't have to do this.
[sighs] Can we talk about this
some other time?[Vinnie] No, the time is now.
Things haven't been the same
since she left.
[automated voice]
Things haven't been the same
since she left.
I know.[Vinnie] We know you're sad.
[automated voice]
We know you're sad.
[Vinnie] It's hard for you.
[automated voice]
It's hard for you.
Vinnie P,
I don't want to hear this
right now.
Can we take this
somewhere else?[Vinnie] You're lonely.
[automated voice]
You're lonely.
[Vinnie] You don't
want to do this.
[Vinnie] You don't want
to shoot him.
[automated voice]
You don't want to shoot him.
I know. He looks very cute.
[sobs]
I just have to do it.
[Vinnie] Charlie, run!
Hey, you guys
look after these people.
Hey, sorry about the leg.
Okay, the pup's mine!
[screams]
[groans]
Ow.
[Charlie] That's gonna hurt!
[Charlie] Fire!
[groans] Bull's-eye!
Over here, you big lug![automated voice]
Activate.
[whirring]
[Charlie] Come and get me!
Come on.
[Victor groans]
[Lenny] Want me to tie them up?Yeah, Lenny, do your thing.
You're good.
You're a shadow boxer?I'm good, huh?
Yeah, I got ya.
Yeah, that's very good.
[vocalizing] You like that?
[buzzer sounds] Soaping, soaping,
soaping, soaping, soaping.
Soaping, soaping,
soaping, soaping, soaping.
Soaping, soaping, soaping...
What happened
to you guys anyway?What happened to us?
I got farted on!
That's what happened.
Oh, yeah? I got electrocuted.You did?
Well, I got bowling balled.
Yeah?
I got punched in the face
by a punching bag!
Well, I got Saran wrapped!
Saran wrapped? Oh, yeah?Yes!
I got hosed by the taco lady!
That's right!
You guys are the worst
bad guys ever!
Hey, don't judge us,
little girl! And you be quiet!
Everbath activate.
Be quiet.I think he's trying
to say something.
Take it off.
Let's hear what he's got to say.Ow!
You're not gonna
get away with this!With what?
With this! All of this!Put it back! Put it back!
Shut up!
You don't...
Benny, what does he mean
we're not gonna get away
with this?
They always say that.
Don't worry about it. I got it.
[Lenny] Okay. I trust you.
[panting]
[buzzer sounds] Releasing steam.
Ah!
Sorry.
Uh, Benny?[Benny] Get him.
Benny?Yeah, what?
Those Christmas lights,
they're really red and blue.
[sirens approaching]They... They didn't look like
that before.
That's it! Let's go!
Let's get out of here!
They're here!
[growling]
[crashing]
Freeze. Freeze. Hit the floor!
Floor! Get down on the floor!
Eat the floor! Eat the floor!
Eat the floor! Eat the floor!
Get down!
Eat the floor! Get down now!
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Wait! Wait!
Untie us! Untie us!
Come back!
Robert.Come back!
Robert, come here. Come here.What? Where are you?
I'm here!Where are you?
You taste like tape.[laughs]
[grunts]
[chuckles]
Is that all you got, pup?
Afraid not.
[screams]
Bye-bye.
And down!
Do what I told you, Lenny.
Sir, I don't even know
these guys.
Ah.
The sweet sound of justice.
That's slander.
Ask the dog. He'll vouch for me.
Tell 'em, Vinnie P!
I'm innocent!
Hook 'em and book 'em.
I'm innocent!
Show him, Larry.
Take a good look.
That was the charity
I was working for the kids.
I never seen those two
in my life!
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
[Charlie]
Merry Christmas, bozos!
Oliver?
[Oliver]
Hello, little lady.
Hey, buddy.
[Gidget] Aw.
You guys know each other?
This is Corwin's dog.
He's gonna be so happy
we found him.
Gidget, come here.
Hey...
I just wanted to let you know
that we can do this together,
all right?
I need you.
I love you, Dad.
I love you too, kiddo.
Hey, if you hadn't have
called the cops when you did...
And about that,
I didn't call the cops.
But he did.
I'm so sorry, Robert,
about everything I said,
everything I did, everything.
Dad...
it's me who's sorry.
About everything.
I love you, Son.
I love you, Dad.
Hey, Merry Christmas, guys.
Merry Christmas.
[Charlie] Thank you, Vinnie.[Vinnie] For what?
I'm homeless now.
Like that mutt, Oliver.
Some Christmas we saved.
[Charlie] Christmas is always
worth saving.
You did good.
I'm happy to share my territory
with you. And my home.
[Vinnie] Thanks, Charlie.
Why does the mail run
on Christmas?
Ah. You need the training.
I thought this was
the best job in the world.
I was wrong.
You're gonna be great.
I believe in you.
You're no dog whisperer.
[dog barks, growls]
[Vinnie] You came
to the wrong neighborhood,
mailman.
Speak well of me.
[Vinnie] Let's get him.
[growls]
[beeping]
[automated voice]
Christmas day now.
I love you.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Easy on the beard, little lady.
I'm falling. Thank you.
[Gidget laughing]
Okay, okay. That tickles.
Thanks, Jen.
...but when the alarm hears it,
you get a notification.
[laughs]
Cheers to you.To you guys.
[chattering]
Merry Christmas![Oliver] Hello, guv'nor.
I'm allergic to dogs.
[Gidget] Merry Christmas, hero.
He likes you.
Wait, hold still!
Almost there.Hey, where's Johnson?
[Oliver] Guys, come on!
Yeah, there we go.
That's the good stuff.Oh, no. Oh.
[narrator] So, that is
the story of how the dogs
of Pet Tech saved the day
and saved Christmas.
The family was back together
and happier than ever.
And as for myself...
What? Were you expecting
a talking pig?
That would just be ridiculous!
Okay. Uh...
I don't know why this is
so challenging, all right?
Repeat after me, all right?Mm-hmm.
"You have the right...
[mumbling]
to remain silent."To remain silent.
"Anything you said..."
Wait, wait. No, no, no.
"Anything you say
can and will be used
against you
in a court of law."
"...can be used"--
Can and will?
Look. "...in a court"--"...in a court of law."
"You have the right to...
to speak to an attorney."
"If you'd like to speak..."I got that.
And attorney's gotta...
is present.
Is present, uh,
during any questioning.
Mmm.Yeah.
My attorney?[mumbles]
Remember the thing?The thing?
No, no, no. When the dogs
are running around?
Oh.Yeah, yeah.
[mumbles]
Okay. This is important.
'Cause I don't think
we're ever gonna see
those guys again.
[continue chattering]
Want a doughnut?