Queen of Knives (2024) Movie Script
1
Hey.
Bye, you.
Don't you want to get
some breakfast or something?
Oh, hell no.
Oh. Thanks though.
I... okay.
Should we go to
Milano's later, love?
Oh yeah. I'll come meet you
there about six.
Perfection.
-You are.
-You.
Ow! Ow!
Oh, shit!
Shit! Shit!
Fuck.
Goddammit.
Hey.
Hiya. You called?
Yeah. We need to iron out
some of the stuff
at the lawyers this week.
Did you get the email?
Yeah.
Okay. Can you answer it?
-Sure.
-Thanks.
Just trying
to get this done, Frank.
I know you are.
Take care.
Uh-huh.
-What?
-It stinks.
Want some?
-That's good shit.
-Yep.
The best.
I've had better.
All righty then.
Yeah, I'm not the type
to wake and bake.
Extreme situations, it's...
What's wrong with
smoking in the morning?
-Nothing's it's just that--
-You look like you do it
every morning.
No way.
Divorce can make
you do crazy things.
Ah, ah, ah!
I just wanted a smoke.
I don't need to hear
your whole life story.
Fine. Geez.
No offense.
Some taken.
Okay.
Whelp.
I said, no offense.
Pretty sunrise.
Oh, Dad. Hi.
-Hey. Hey.
-Over here.
-Hey.
-Hey. Nice place.
Yeah, I like it.
They have really good coffee
and they do comedy
and poetry at night,
and I can stumble in
from my apartment.
-It's great.
-Ooh. Hey, how's
the new place?
Oh, it's so tiny and all mine,
so it's delightful.
- Yeah.
- You gotta gimme a tour.
Yeah. It'll take ten seconds.
You look like shit.
-Thanks.
-Yeah, no,
I'm gonna cut that ponytail
off when you least expect it.
Hey.
Unlike most men my age,
I still have hair, you know?
I'm just seeing how
long I can get it.
-I hate it.
-Yes, I know.
-So you've said.
-So much.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
So how is "Operation Back
to your Roots" going?
What?
You know,
like you in Brooklyn
literally blocks away
from where you grew up,
jobless without Mom.
Like what--
how is all that going?
It's fine.
Jesus Christ. It's like
pulling teeth with you.
God, your generation, man.
You know, it's okay to talk
about your feelings, right?
What if I don't want to?
Okay.
How are you?
I'm good. Yeah.
I've got a few freelance
gigs coming up,
-so that's nice.
-Oh.
Chip off the old block, huh?
Yeah. You got those
writing chops from me.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I am currently writing a
BuzzFeed quiz
that'll tell you what
your favorite sandwich is
based off your Disney
knowledge, so...
Hmm.
So how would I get to tuna?
Little Mermaid
and Finding Nemo questions.
Oh, okay.
I'm also seeing someone new.
Wow! Yeah?
-Super.
-Yeah.
Hey, so are, are they--
are they he or her or she?
Mattie is actually
non-binary and uses
she/they pronouns.
Yeah. They work as a chef
at this little place in Dumbo.
-It's really great.
-Oh.
And they've got
their shit together.
It's, yeah.
Yeah, that--that sentence
still confuses me a little,
-but that's okay.
-Yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
So how long have you
been seeing each other?
Not long, but it
feels different.
Different, like special?
Yeah. Kind of.
-Aw.
-Yeah.
How's Sadie?
Oh, oh.
Sewing her oats.
-Oh.
-Everywhere.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
-Good, good, good, yeah.
-Yeah.
So, uh, how's your mother?
Oh. Um.
Well...
What?
She's seeing someone.
Oh.
Why? Why did you tell him?
-I had to.
-You really didn't.
I mean he would've found out
and then he would've
known that we knew.
So?
Why are you walking so fast?
Because you're stressing me out
and I need a goddamn smoothie.
- A smoothie?
- You don't understand.
This place is excellent and--
and it's closing soon.
If we get there even
a minute or two late,
then I won't get mine.
You're so intense sometimes.
I want what I want
when I want it.
Oh.
How did he take it?
Oh, Dad?
Oh, not great.
I mean, it was kind of
like a one-two punch.
Because it's Joanne?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he's one to talk.
He's been dating people.
Yeah, but nobody seriously
and not somebody
who's been friends
with the family for years.
-And a woman.
-Yeah.
I mean, he is been
dating sad younger women
with severe daddy issues,
but you know, nothing again
that's turns into
a relationship.
I don't like thinking about
Daddy seeing younger women.
It grosses me out.
I-- it grosses me out that
you still call him Daddy.
Which one is this?
Oh, don't make it seem like
there are thousands, Kaitlin.
Jesus.
Uh, Ben?
No.
Oliver?
No. I ended that weeks ago.
It's-- it's a guy
I work with.
It's so dumb.
It's-- it's so against
company policy.
That makes it hotter though.
It really does.
Oh, I love your slutty face.
I am not slutty!
I am--
I am sexually progressive.
Did you sleep with
him at work yet?
Well, yeah.
Slut.
No! Ugh!
Oh, you wanna go
get a cookie instead?
- Yeah, I guess.
- Yeah. It's good.
It's sugar come on.
-It's so good though.
-Come on.
I know, it's fine.
They always close early.
-Frank.
-Hey!
Oh, God. It's been ages.
How's life?
How are the kids?
-Oh, kids are good.
-Great to hear.
-How's Kath?
-Uh, she left me.
She's living in our house
with my accountant.
Oh.
Who happens to be a woman.
Wow. I'm-- that's a lot.
Mm-hmm. Yep, yep.
Shit, I'm really sorry.
Yeah, you know.
Did you need a drink?
A sedative, maybe.
Fresh out.
So you called me
about a gig, I assume.
Uh, yeah.
Just wanted to see
where your head's at.
It's been a while since
you left agency life
and I'm working on some roles
that I thought might
be of interest.
Well, I have to tell you,
I've been away from
that grind for a bit
and I'm in no rush
to get back.
I had no work-life
balance, you know?
No actual time
for my creativity.
I hear you. Those work weeks
are brutal. I know.
That last stretch,
I didn't have a weekend
off for three months
and 70-hour weeks.
You've been getting back
to your actual creativity?
Nah, it's-- I'm sketching
again and that's about it.
Have you been
consulting at all?
Yeah, like, I did a rebrand
for my cousin's
restaurant in Brooklyn.
You know, whoo.
Let me rephrase.
What are you doing for money?
Not a thing.
Follow up question.
Would you like to make money?
Yeah, just pitch me what
you gotta pitch me, Dave.
Um... chief creative
officer role.
No one above you.
You report into the CEO
and that's it.
Small agency.
Um, what's the catch?
It's in Cincinnati.
Yeah, pass.
Think about all of the brands
that are right there.
Every consumer
packaged goods company
in the states
operates from there.
There's real potential here.
Yeah, for depression.
I mean, I'm a New Yorker.
My life is here.
I got it.
You have anything for me here?
Mm. Market here is tough.
Holding companies are imploding.
Most places are really pushing
for...
diverse candidates
and you're...
Uh, yeah, a straight,
older white guy.
I didn't say that.
I would never say that.
Out loud.
Well, I mean, you know,
we had a good run
us older white guys.
Let me ask you this.
How do you feel about pharma?
Pharma?
Oh, yeah. How do I feel
about working for the devil?
Very rich devil
that pays creatives a lot
of money for very little work.
Yeah.
ED drug,
direct-to-consumer brand.
You'd really get their voice.
You'd be a great fit.
I'll think on it.
That's all I ask.
No pressure.
Hey.
I really appreciate
you thinking of me.
I'm really sorry
about everything
you're going through.
Yeah.
But pharma money makes
everything feel better.
You know, selling boner
pills to old farts like me
is a bit of a creative
downgrade.
You know?
But, hey, I'll let you know
if I feel like selling out.
All right.
Ah, salute, Frank.
Chent'annos.
Thanks, Sal.
Hard day?
Yeah, well, it's three o'clock
and I'm almost a bottle in,
so yeah, not my best day.
The divorce, huh?
All of it.
I got just the thing for you.
Some nice Sambuca.
Oh, woof.
Too many of those got me
in trouble last night.
Oh, the hair of the dog
that bit ya.
Oh, yeah. Pass.
No, my-- my puke smelled
like licorice last night.
Oh, nasty.
Sal, how long
you been married?
Me? It's going
on 40 years now.
Oh, that's a fucking
long time.
You're fucking A it is.
My Genie's an amazing woman.
But I tell you the truth,
I'd be lying to you
if I told you I wasn't a little
jealous of you, my friend.
-Jealous?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Getting to be free.
I see you walking outta here
with gorgeous young babes, huh.
You're a regular Casanova.
No, that's-- no, that--
that doesn't mean anything.
Oh, really? Why does
it have to mean anything?
-Capisce?
-Capisce.
Look what the wind blew in.
-Hi.
-Hey.
Jesus. Dad, you stink.
It's good to see you too.
How much wine have you had?
Not enough. Sit, sit.
Sal, this is my other daughter.
Sadie, right?
- I heard a lot about you.
- Oh.
Welcome to Monty's.
So how's the new job?
Uh, super intense. Thanks.
Cheers.
Dad, how often
do you come here?
Oh, you know,
your mother used to
do all the cooking
and I can't even
boil water and it's...
And besides it's your
cousin Monty's place.
I didn't even know
I had a cousin Monty, so...
My second cousin actually
on my dad's side, yeah.
You met him, I think.
Uh.
Dad, are you okay?
No.
I know Kaitlin told
you about Joanne.
-Are you...?
-No, I--
I'm just realizing
how obsolete I really am.
That's not true.
Do you think your mother
was always a lesbian?
-Dad.
-No, seriously?
Was our marriage a joke?
God.
Dad, I-- I think--
I think sexuality is more
complicated than that.
Oh, what does that mean?
-It--
-It's not just gay
or straight anymore, Frank.
You got asexuality,
bisexual, metrosexual.
My hunch is that
Kathy is pansexual.
That is surprising
and accurate.
Sal, you're a very
knowledgeable guy.
Hey, I'm a bartender
in Brooklyn.
It comes with the territory.
Hey. Hey.
What does pansexual mean?
It means there's no
such thing as gender, man.
Kathy's attracted
to personalities.
Your-- your relationship
with Mom was really complex.
Complex? Yeah.
Or maybe she just
wanted to get naked
with our accountant
the whole time.
Look, you both cheated.
Neither of you were
happy for years.
She didn't even fall apart.
She just immediately
got someone new.
I'm worried about you.
It-- it's three in the
afternoon and you are pretty--
No, I'm okay,
kiddo, all right?
Ugh.
I got-- I got a new job
offer this afternoon.
Well, that's--
that's great.
A new agency might be
just what you need.
But what's it for?
Uh, erectile
dysfunction drugs.
Oh, no, you're--
-you're not serious.
-No. I am.
Oh, my God. Does it come
with a free prescription?
No.
Hey, no, no.
No need for a blue pill
for this guy.
-No. Don't tell me anymore.
-I'm as virile as a 20 year old.
Stop. Stop.
I don't wanna know
any of this.
Okay. All right.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
I'm using Tinder now.
Are you on Tinder?
Daddy, I'm--
that is disturbing.
Why? Sal says that's
how you meet people now.
What? Oh, Tinder.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Let me see.
No. That's private.
Dad, let me see your account.
Okay.
-Oh!
-What?
Your age range is 30 to 50?
-And?
-I'm over 30, Dad.
And you're over 50 and...
How many women are
you talking to?
Thi-- this is wild.
No, no, no, no, no.
I-- I keep swiping
and they keep chatting.
It's-- it's very convenient.
I'm-- I have no words.
Oh, geez. I thought
you'd be proud of me.
Are-- are you being safe?
Oh, geez. Yes.
-I--
-Hey.
You folks want some food?
We got some terrific
new specials.
Yeah. The usual.
Chicken parm.
How about you, dear?
I'll take the scampi.
Excellent choice.
I'll fire it right up.
Hey, this place is amazing.
-Mm.
-You know?
Hidden gem.
All those bougie
places along Kent
have nothing on this spot.
I'm looking
forward to the food.
I, uh-- I can't stay long.
I'm meeting someone
tonight in the city.
Ooh. Hot date?
No, it's a work thing.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
Huh.
Here's to your thing.
Oh, well, thank you.
Cheers.
Hi.
Ahem.
Do you have that report
I asked for earlier?
-The--
-What?
-The--
-Oh.
-The thing?
-Yeah.
In, uh, Jasmine's office.
Okay.
-Mm.
-Mm.
Oh, God. You're sexy.
Less talking,
more taking clothes off.
Now.
Are you just
gonna stare at me?
No, sir.
Oh, shit! Come on.
The table,
the table, the table.
Shut up.
You shut up.
Make me shut up.
My friend.
Oh, you again?
Hmm.
I am about to partake
if you like.
You always share your drugs?
If I know the person
appreciates it, yes.
It really is good.
None of that vape bullshit.
Yeah. I'm old school.
Life is too short
to smoke shitty weed.
I was rude to you
the other day.
I was feeling
a little sorry for myself.
Yes, you were.
Why are you up so early?
After my first daughter
was born, my clock shifted.
I started getting up
at five every morning.
Never shifted back.
And sunrises are undervalued.
Hmm. They really are.
What's your name?
Masha.
So Russian.
I'm from Georgia.
You don't sound Southern.
The country, Eastern Bloc.
Cold as hell. Poor as hell.
Right, right, right.
See you around.
And thank you for the drugs.
-Oh, God.
-Are you--
-Oh, oh.
-Oh, my God.
I think that was--
that was my fault.
Of course
it was your fault.
You slammed right into me.
-Apologies.
-Oh, Jesus!
-Oh.
-Are, are you okay?
Oh.
-I'm fine. I'm fine, okay?
-Are you hurt?
I'm fine.
Ow. Fine.
Okay.
I-- I think you
might've hurt your bum.
Yeah, well,
I fell flat on my ass,
so, mm-hmm, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, what can I do?
-Uh, do you need ice?
-I'm fine.
-I'm fine.
-No, no.
I don't-- I don't think
you are though, um.
Hold that thought.
You know what?
Why don't you come with me to--
to see my healer?
They'll fix you right up.
What? I need an X-ray,
not a healer.
Yeah, but Western medicine
only goes so far.
You're one of those?
Oh, geez.
-Fine. Okay.
-Yeah?
I don't believe
I'm gonna say this,
but take me to your healer.
Is that it?
She never touched me.
It's okay. She doesn't have to.
I'm actually
going to touch you now.
Oh, okay.
Oh, oh, oh!
All right.
Slow, slow, slow.
It's okay.
Drink this.
Hmm. What a funny
presence he has.
Where did you find him?
- Starr Street.
- Huh?
-Yeah.
-So interesting.
Mm. Thank you.
Continue using this
on your backside.
I'm going to make you a salt
bath to take home with you too.
Alternate ice and hot.
And you might wanna
think about a cleanse.
-A cleanse?
-Yeah.
I was feeling your
body needs that.
My God.
My God,
she's really world class.
I mean, how do you feel?
Banged up.
But...
I'm all right I think.
Really?
See? World class.
I mean, I'm moving.
Oh, my God.
You have to let me
make this up to you.
Why don't you, um--
why don't you come
to my friend's art opening
with me tonight, hmm?
And I'll get you dinner.
Oh, that's not-- you don't--
you don't have to do that.
I-- I kind of do though.
Bathe in this tonight.
Well, half tonight,
half tomorrow morning.
Oh.
Oh, love.
No, you bought me
all my new crystals.
What? Are you sure?
Thank you.
That color's really
good with your skin tone.
Thank you, Booboo.
You ever wear red?
Oh, I don't. I've tried.
Every time I put it on,
I hear my mother's voice saying,
"Only certain kinds
of women wear red."
Bold women.
Women who don't give a shit
what people think of them.
No.
Did he sign?
He did. He sent all
the papers to my lawyer.
Calls for champagne
tonight then.
Oh, yeah.
God, I love all
the trees in Brooklyn.
Huh.
Reminds you of
where you grew up?
-Maybe. Yeah.
-Hmm.
Or it's really 'cause
it makes the neighborhood
feel more feminine, you know?
Even though all of the trees
in a city are male.
Oh, they are?
Yeah. City planners,
they didn't want female leaves
on the sidewalk.
I never thought of a tree
as having a gender.
Uh, yeah. I suppose gender
really is a construct, so...
Ooh!
Roger will be
there in the morning
to finish the back splash.
I figured you'd
be at the office.
Oh, good, yeah.
-Yeah. I'll be back for lunch.
-Great.
Love, I need
to ask you something.
That felt weighted.
I got
an offer on my house today.
It's not even on the market.
My neighbor, her daughter
just had twins.
Wants to move back.
Offered me a lot of money.
All cash.
Wow. That's amazing.
So, I'm wondering, since
I'm at your place so much...
Oh.
Oh.
No pressure.
But what do you think?
Um...
-Yeah, I can see this.
-Yeah. And you actually can--
-Honey! You came!
-Baby, I made it.
Oh, thank God!
There are so many people
I have to talk about.
Ooh. Yes.
So what'd you
think of my piece?
Oh, no,
I haven't seen it yet.
'Cause Frank and I, we were
just admiring this one.
Frank. So rude of me.
I didn't realize Autumn
brought her uncle.
-Mm-mm.
-Or handsome,
older,
hopefully queer cousin
who's actively looking
for a young top to sponsor.
I hit him
with my bike earlier
and I invited him
to be my date.
-Date?
-Date?
Show us your piece, love.
-Yes. This way.
-Thank you.
Hmm.
So his pieces are
usually very masculine.
Why are you putting a gender
on things? I hate that.
So weird and old fashioned.
-My work has no gender.
-Sorry.
Now come and look at
my huge dick.
Okay.
Whoa.
-Takes your breath away, right?
-Hmm.
-Did it sell already?
-Yes.
Thank God that some
tech platform guy
wants it for his entryway.
Congrats.
I love it when art
meets commerce.
Amen. Mm.
Enjoy, catch you.
-Oh, hello?
-Hello.
Sebastian?
-Hey, love.
-Hi, baby.
I gotta go.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Do you know them?
Yeah, I think I do.
Also, what's the deal with
this line in the back here?
-Queerdos, say hi.
-Hi.
Are you both up
for some super fun?
-Mm?
-Oh!
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-In the back?
Frank. So forward of you.
Yes.
-Yes.
-Yes?
-Yes.
-Yes!
-Yes, please.
-Excuse me.
Pardon moi.
Artist coming through.
Sasha, love.
I must show my friends.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Oh, yeah.
Tight squeeze, baby.
-Oh, geez.
-Come on, Frank.
-You ready?
-All right. Okay.
-All right, all right.
-Come on, Frank.
-I'm trying.
-Close the door.
What's the secret word?
Gold star.
Oh. Oh!
Oh!
Shall we?
No, no, no, no, Sadie.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Yes.
-No. Not her office.
-Yep.
Come on.
What? Are you afraid?
No.
-Oh, yeah?
-Oh yeah.
Okay.
Shit.
-Shit.
-Shit.
-Fuck.
-Oh, fuck.
Oh!
What?!
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
-Baby!
-Hi! Oh, my...
Thank you, baby.
Ow, ow. C'mere,
c'mere, c'mere, c'mere.
You look amazing.
-Muah, muah.
-Muah, muah.
Sebastian.
I'm sorry, you probably
don't remember me.
I do. King of Knives!
Yeah. Oh, wow.
You know Sebastian?
I go by The Enchantress
when I'm in drag.
Please tell me how you
know each other immediately.
Oh, my God. I am dying.
You've both been
to my holiday parties.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
Well, it's not every party
such a distinguished--
You mean "old".
Gosh, she's saying old.
No, no, no.
He left an impression.
Well, you read my cards.
Bitch!
You never read my cards.
I never feel
compelled to, okay?
But what was your name again?
-Frank.
-Frank. Yes.
-You look great, Frank.
-Aw.
You look better and brighter.
And fierce.
Oh. Oh, shit.
I'm on again.
Okay. Stay right here.
Hey!
Cheers.
I'm enchanted by you,
Enchantress.
You're incredible. Mm.
Who, me?
I love you guys.
-I love you.
-I love you.
You say it, Frank.
I love you.
Fucking A.
I was kind of wrong about you.
Never judge a book, right?
Oh, wow,
are you on something?
Yes.
Yes, I am!
Ooh, molly?
This dude gets it.
It's okay.
Oh, my God.
I don't think he
goes that way, Braden.
Everybody's a little bit queer.
Queerness is a spectrum.
Wait, wha-- do you guys
hear about something called,
what was it, pansexuality?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Oh, okay, I'm last to know.
It's not your fault.
You're really old.
Hey! All right!
That's it.
Oh, shit.
There's a Yellow Cab.
Oh, shit, okay.
All right, come on Braden.
-Oh, oh, oh, oh.
-Oh, my God.
Goodbye, goodbye.
I love you.
Muah, muah,
muah, muah, muah.
-Love you.
-All right.
Whoa!
Please take care of them.
Do you wanna grab paper-bag
beers and walk around with me?
Hell yeah.
-Great.
-Mm, mm.
Didn't know that
side of you, Frank.
You do now.
Wow.
This spot right here used to
be a great place to get mugged.
Ah, 30 years ago...
you couldn't give
these buildings away.
God, that is so crazy to me.
Oh. Wish I bought some.
Can I ask you a rude question?
Well, yeah.
If I buckle up for it, yeah.
Sure. Shoot.
How old are you?
Never ask a lady her...
Fifty-nine.
Wow.
-Wow.
-Okay.
That's so old or wow,
you must know so much?
Both.
Come on.
I just-- I don't know.
I think about how
much I've changed
over like, the past ten years.
What does 59 feel like?
Oh.
Well, sometimes tired...
weirdly centered...
definitely much wiser.
What were you like
when you were my age?
I don't actually
know how old you are.
Oh, okay.
I'm 33.
It's my Jesus year, baby.
That guy.
Oh, what an overachiever.
Thirty-three.
So I was working hard,
very frenetic, you know?
I would've told you it was
for the kids, you know,
to provide for the kids.
Such a bullshit line.
I wanted to feel important.
What did you do?
What do I do?
I'm an executive
creative director.
Yeah. No, I don't know
what that means.
I work in advertising.
Okay.
Doing?
You know the toilet
paper with the squirrel.
Sammy?
Sure.
Yeah. Well, I made
all those commercials.
The squirrel was my idea.
Okay.
-It doesn't matter.
-Cool.
I was paid to make
ads for a product
that you literally
smear shit on and flush...
for decades of my life.
And then I quit that job.
Oh, my God.
You're unemployed?
Just like me.
No, actually,
I'm between gigs.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, okay. I'm unemployed.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. I gotta pee.
Oh, should we try
to find a...
W-w-wait, wait.
Y-y-you-- w-what are you--
Okay then.
All right, all right.
Why do people feel comfortable
peeing in front of me?
'Cause you're nice.
And also peeing outside
is like one of life's
greatest pleasures.
Oh, I've never
thought of it that way.
Aren't you worried about
getting it on yourself?
What? No way.
I got great aim.
Plus the trick is the--
you know, it's the angle and,
oh, and getting it outta
the way of your shoes.
Oh, geez.
Now I have to pee.
Yep.
That's cheap beer.
Goes straight through ya.
Geez, shoo-ah.
Oh, my God.
You are so fucking demure.
I just squatted right
in front of you.
You wuss.
Hey, usually I have
to work up to peeing
in front of someone.
Not on a first,
whatever this is.
I said it before.
It's a date.
Oh, my God.
You're one of those.
One of those people that
cleans my hands after I piss?
Yes.
There we go.
Great, well,
now you can hold my hand
and not be grossed out.
Okay.
Do you want me
to hold your hand?
I'm sorry. I'm-- I'm having
a hard time reading you.
Me?
You're-- you're so beautiful.
And I--
I truly enjoy this.
Yeah, me too.
But I also realize
that I'm an older man
and, you know, from a completely
different generation.
And I-- I don't want
to misconstrue...
Yeesh. Boy.
It's a date.
I'm really glad you
cleaned your hands.
Oh, my God.
Dear God.
-You're the best.
-Made all the difference,
didn't it?
-Ta-da.
-Holy shit.
This place is amazing.
Ah, small,
but I like it.
Yeah. And I love
this neighborhood.
Oh, I grew up here.
My dad fought to get us out.
Moved us up to Queens.
At the time it was
a huge step up.
Oh, my God.
Look at your family.
Mmm. That's a bit outdated.
Yeah.
But beautiful kids.
Yeah.
We made good babies.
You know, we got that right.
What went wrong?
No, I don't want to tell
sad stories tonight.
You know, not tonight.
You know, you gotta
shift your perception.
I'm talking all of it.
Even if something
doesn't work out.
I mean, it's just
the universe teaching you.
Hmm.
Well, that's a nice
way to frame it.
But some things are just...
well, you know, too tragic
to think of as a lesson.
Of course, and I'm-- I'm not
gonna make you talk about it,
but if you want.
-Okay, thanks.
-Oh, my God.
-I'm telling Eliza.
-Whoa, whoa. No, no.
I fully intend
to soak once you leave.
I'm sorry. Are you
asking me to leave?
No.
Good.
Then I'll draw you a bath.
Do you have candles?
Well, you're happy today.
I think I'm in love.
Really? Since yesterday.
Aw.
She's so-- she--
she glows.
She-- she's this
beautiful buoyant--
Oh! Young! Ha!
-Well, yeah.
-How young?
Thirty-three.
Oh. It'll never work.
-Why would you say that?
-Because it's true.
Well, we'll see.
And I'll be here to say,
"I told you so."
Okay.
I feel like
I'm floating now.
You're high, so you know.
Aw, she's--
she's just amazing.
Oh, my God.
You have sex?
That's very personal.
Yes.
We did not.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
No.
Can't rush this one.
Ohhh!
Oh, look at you.
Oh, goo goo, ga ga.
Oh, well, Romeo.
I leave you to it.
Oh, where you going?
Hot date?
No, just like
to keep my schedule.
Ooh. A creature of habit.
You know it.
Hey, Mom.
Um, can I come over?
Nope. I um...
I got out early.
You look like an insane person
with your eyes all
scrunched up like that.
Thank you.
-Guess what?
-Hmm?
I sold more dick
collages last night.
-I'm rich, bitch.
-Oh, fuck yeah.
That tech guy wanted to do
a studio visit last night.
I'm sorry.
After the drag show?
Late night studio visit.
I thought it might get naughty,
but turns out he's straight.
Aw.
Just really into
my phallic art.
Well, they're very emotive.
-My penises?
-Mm-hmm.
That's sweet.
That's what I'm going for.
Emoting wangs.
Where's Old Man River?
Wow. Not sure.
Mm. Didn't realize you
had daddy shit to work out.
It's not like that.
Mm. It's definitely like that.
You fuck him?
-No.
-You should.
-Oh, really?
-Yes.
So then in your mind,
you'll have dominated your
father and be done with it.
Wait, you really
don't like him?
'Cause like
I think he's so sweet.
And God, I think he's
been through a lot.
You're talking about him
like he's a rescue dog.
He is kind of.
You collect broken things.
-Like you.
-Mm!
Bitch, you did
not just say that.
-I'm fully formed.
-Debatable.
What if you have sex with him
and he dies underneath you?
-Wow, Braden.
-Mm.
It could happen.
How's his ticker?
Stop.
You're terrible at
picking men for yourself.
Case in point, old guy.
-Does he have any kids?
-Fuck you.
Yes.
What a nightmare.
How many kids.
Three.
Divorced or did
this just get juicy?
-Divorced.
-Ooh.
I mean,
I can't say I get it, but
whatever floods
your basement.
Oh, my.
I did have a surprising
amount of fun
with that old straight
white man the other night.
-But...
-You see?
What? What?
You're setting
yourself up again.
You see that, right?
What's your end game
with this one?
Oh, Braden, I am not
thinking that far ahead.
You never think
that far ahead.
Wow. Okay.
-Just...
-I'm just tired.
Tell me how you
really feel, Braden.
How old is she?
It's not about age.
Okay, but it kind of is.
She's young. She's 33.
Oh, wow.
Gross.
I still can't believe
you went to a healer
and not a hospital.
I feel great this week.
Oh, yeah?
What, is your energy
all aligned?
Are you breathing better
through your ass chakra?
Don't tease.
No, it's truly, you're making
it all too easy for me.
I mean, literally,
somebody your age
should not be seeking
medical attention
from somebody who owns
hundreds of crystals.
You could have a concussion.
But I don't.
How do you know?
You could be walking
around right now concussed.
Hey, I took that
recruiter's meeting last week.
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
-Agency?
-Yeah.
Oh, um, I don't know
about you going back
into agency stuff again.
Uh, well, yeah.
It's, uh...
it's kind of the dregs.
You know, at this
point in my career,
they relegate you to
doing pharmaceutical work.
Do you have to work though?
Can you also pass me
that wrench thing?
-Yeah.
-Yeah. That.
-Thanks.
-Well, you know, um,
depends on how
comfortable I wanna be.
You know, Mom got the house.
I got most of the savings.
You know, it's like...
Oh, that doesn't
sound right.
No.
Oh, look, I also don't need
to hear about the money stuff
between you and Mom.
Okay, well, let
me put it this way.
If I wanna live fat
and happy when I'm older,
I should probably
work a few more years.
Yeah, but do you
need to be making
the same amount
you were before?
Well, you know,
it doesn't buy happiness,
but it sure fucking helps.
Okay, what if you think about
what you need to be happy,
and then what do you need
to do to accomplish that?
Like, what if you taught?
I don't know.
What if you taught?
Okay.
People who can't get
a job at advertising,
teach advertising, you know?
I think you'd make
a great teacher.
You know, it's just
that you worked
at a really toxic environment
and you brought that
home every single night.
-I didn't mean to.
-Yeah but you did.
And Sadie, Danny and I
all felt that shit.
You know, we were always
walking on eggshells
whenever you were on a pitch.
Yeah, but I was
always on a pitch.
Exactly.
Wait, you're trying
to guilt me now?
No, I'm just being honest.
Whoa, so you're telling me
that you walked on eggshells
your entire youth, huh?
Nah. Uh-uh, no.
You and your brother
and your sister
never wanted for anything.
Anything.
You went to the best schools.
-We bought you what you needed.
-Okay, first of all, Dad,
it's not about what
you bought us, okay?
Um, and I'm sorry.
Do you think it's a coincidence
that we all ended up a mess?
-Do you?
-You're not a mess.
Okay. I am.
I'm working on it, but I am.
And that's my fault?
Wow.
You know, your generation,
you get to blame me
for everything that
ever went wrong, huh?
Yeah. I do.
What? You never
wanted for anything?
It's such a weird
fucking thing to say.
I did want something.
I wanted a father.
-Kiddo, come on.
-No.
Don't kiddo
me right now. Okay?
I got a buddy, a buddy who
sometimes tries to father me.
No, that's not fair.
No, it's not.
You're throwing a hissy fit
just because I recommend you
don't run right back into
the industry that chewed
you up and spat you out.
-No, that's not--
-No!
You went back to work
a week after Danny died
to film a campaign.
It was a launch.
Of a new toilet paper.
Like, who gives a shit?
Okay?
Your son died.
Your family needed you,
-and you were just--
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't come here for this.
-Okay?
-I am just trying
to have a conversation
with you right now.
No! You're trying to
blame me for something
that happened
a million years ago.
Five years ago, Dad.
And I'm not trying
to make you feel guilty.
I just want you to make
better choices for yourself.
I'm perfectly happy.
Happy getting stoned outta
your goddamn mind every day.
Doing what?
What are you doing?
You know, besides chasing women
that are your daughter's age.
All right. No, no.
I don't have to listen to this.
No. You know what?
You truly do not.
And she's older than Sadie.
Ooh.
By a fucking whisper, Dad.
Okay.
Fuck.
I got fired from
loads of jobs.
Like how many?
Well, one, actually,
but it was a good
one and it hurt.
But I bounced back.
I was being groomed.
I know I was.
And I just...
You fucked it up.
I fucked it up.
Well, you can come
back here.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, come and keep me company.
Mom.
Well, I just
thought I'd offer.
I don't know what
I was thinking.
Oh, honey, I don't think
you were thinking at all.
Have I ever told you how
much I hate being alone?
It terrifies me.
Alone means I have to sit with
all the pain I've tamped down
and just look at it.
Oh, sweetie.
I know that the tamping down
seems like
a good strategy, but...
I know.
It's okay to let it out.
I just-- I keep filling
the void with dumb shit.
Oh, sweet girl.
You're not dumb.
I'm not a girl anymore, Mom.
I-- I had a great job
and I was getting
my act together
to finish up school
and take the bar and...
Well, how does-- how does losing
this job take that away?
It just-- it feels
like I'm starting over.
Like I had a leg up
and I screwed it up.
We've climbed out
of worse, right?
It's just a job.
Mm.
There'll be other jobs.
Just don't fuck people
on your boss's desk
next time.
Right. That.
It was really fun though.
Oh, I'm sure it was.
It sounds great.
Oh, God. I'm dumb.
No, you're not dumb.
Just, I don't know, horny.
Mom!
You wanna stay tonight?
I have plans,
but I can cancel.
No, no way.
I just wanted to...
cry in your kitchen
and-- and drink your wine.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
You go to see your dad tonight?
Is that Fridays?
Mm.
No. Dad has a hot date.
-Oh boy.
-Mm-hmm.
Kaitlin said I didn't wanna
know and I-- I left it at that.
Think this one's serious?
-No.
-Mm.
I don't think dad's
ever really serious.
-Love you.
-I love you, Mom.
Et voila.
Dinner on a budget.
-Looks great.
-Thank you.
Um, I'm a vegetarian,
if that's all right.
-That's great.
-Are you vegetarian?
-No.
-You eat all proteins?
I haven't met
one I didn't like.
Commercial meat production
is very difficult for me.
Yeah.
But bacon.
I do miss bacon.
And steak.
Red meat's so bad for you.
-But burgers.
-Okay.
Okay. Yup.
But it-- it's all great,
you know?.
Ahem, yeah, good wine too.
- It's bad.
- It's bad.
I'm pretty sure it's gonna,
you know, get the job
done though.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I have a present for you.
-Oh?
-Mm-hmm.
So I sketch in the mornings.
And I realized
I was sketching you.
What?
Well, she's beautiful.
Oh, come on now.
Thank you.
Goddamn, I can't
wait to have kids.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I kind of want two.
It was really nice having
a sibling growing up, you know?
Oh. Yeah.
That's really special,
you know?
Mm.
So my ex and I,
we were really young,
you know, it was
a different time.
Accidental, just happened.
You know, the first two were
actually, like, boom, boom.
And you planned for the third?
Danny, yeah.
We really wanted
to try for a boy.
And so we was trying all these
different crazy positions.
-Oh, fun.
-Whee!
It was.
Kind of like, you actualized
your son into being.
I mean, how lovely is that?
I never thought
of it like that.
What's he like?
Danny?
Um, yeah. He, uh--
he died a few years back.
Oh, my God, Frank.
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be.
That must've been...
so hard.
Still is.
Was it an accident?
No, opposite really.
It was very intentional.
I mean, it's okay.
I mean, it's not,
it's just...
Hey.
To Danny.
To Danny.
You know, it's really hard
to be a human sometimes.
Yeah, it is.
And if I'm being honest...
I think I made it harder
for him.
No, it's not your fault.
I think that might just be
a kind thing people say, dear.
In this case some of
that fault lies with me.
I am so sorry.
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
Just put the empties
in the bus bucket.
I'll get them in the morning.
-You cooking tomorrow?
-Yeah.
Flores cooks on Sunday.
I'll be sleeping like
the dead.
-You ready to head?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-You coming to mine?
I like my little abode.
You haven't moved
in together yet?
Isn't that a lesbian
second date?
The fuck out of here.
I haven't even
met her folks yet.
Yeah, we're gonna
keep it that way.
I mean, I'm gonna keep
you away from my family
for as long as possible.
Mattie,
you can meet my folks.
They'd be thrilled
if you turned me gay.
Night cap?
-One and done.
-Uh-uh. It is never just one.
All right, I'll see
you assholes tomorrow.
-Bye.
-All right. Be safe.
I have something I need to say.
What?
It's important to me
that I meet your family.
-It's a terrible idea.
-I know.
First off, we can't
have them together.
I-- I'm starting to
have an anxiety attack
just thinking about that.
What if we ask Mom
not to invite Joanne.
Dad'll be all passive
aggressive. You know he will.
They wanna meet
the whole family though.
Small doses.
We're better that way, yeah?
Me first,
then Mom, then Dad.
Or we could introduce them
to the whole family all at once
and then they can
realize that I come
from a lineage of nut bags
and then bounce
and then I will die
alone with so many cats.
You don't have any cats.
Oh, not yet, but I will.
So many.
Or you just rip
the Band-Aid off
and instead of running
they stay.
I'm gonna vomit.
Just-- I'll--
I'll talk to Mom.
She'd do anything for you.
Even deal with Dad for a bit.
Dad's so weird
right now though.
He was always weird.
We just ignored it.
At least I have you.
Normal stable you.
I lost
my job last week
'cause I was fucking
that guy at the office
on my boss's desk.
I went off my meds.
Um, I might have to
move back in with Mom.
Hoo, geez.
Yeah. I'm driving the struggle
bus right now.
All right.
Well, as a former driver
and frequent rider,
I would implore you not
to move back to Westchester.
I know, I know.
Tell me this isn't a bad idea.
Having Mattie meet
everyone will be fine.
Uh, how much rum?
Oh, given the circumstances,
the bottle, baby.
It'll be fine.
Daddy's really happy for you.
-Uh-huh.
-He is.
What were his words exactly?
That you deserve happiness.
And?
And that he was surprised
you're a lesbian now.
He said the word lesbian?
Kind of.
Look, he's fine, really.
He just wants to see everybody.
Wants to meet
Kaitlin's new partner.
Wants to see me.
Wants to see what
I've done to the house.
Mom, please. For me.
It's happening.
I made crudites.
We will grill.
We will drink.
It'll all be fine.
Lemme taste that.
How is it?
Mm. Oh it's delightful.
And boozy. Mm, mm.
You wanna put it
on the porch?
-Okay. Yeah.
-Excellent.
-Hi.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
-Hi.
-Hey, help me chop.
-No, no, no, no.
I really have to pee,
seriously. There's your ice.
So where-- where's
the mystery woman?
She's outside.
She's talking to somebody
on the phone.
I really have to pee, Mom.
I'm gonna pee all over
the floor.
-Not on my floor.
-Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Go, go, go.
You must be Kathy.
You must be
the new girlfriend.
Huh. I am.
It is so nice
to finally meet you.
Wow. You have
such lovely energy.
And I love a red lip.
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
I'm sorry. Do you--
do you need any help?
I would never turn down
an extra set of hands
in the kitchen.
-How about the carrots?
-Yes.
-Yes, please.
-Thank you.
-Um, just gonna...
-Oh, sure.
I love your dress.
Wow, thank you.
I-- I got it in Oaxaca.
And this older woman,
she hand embroiders
all these flowers.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
It was such
a transformative trip.
It's a really special place.
You know, it sounds like it.
It's actually the very first
time I ever tried ayahuasca
and, well, I was reborn there.
What is that?
Oh, it's a psychedelic
used by ancient people
all over the world.
The journey is well
worth the side effects.
What are the side effects?
Um, you expel pretty much
everything in your system.
Oh, you throw up.
Oh, yeah. Both ends.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, it's not for everyone.
Here.
Perfect. Let's take
this in the other room.
Can I just say, you're not
at all what I expected.
Oh. Fun.
I mean, type wise.
Well, what were you expecting?
Ah, somebody less spiritual,
maybe more rock and roll.
And it is nice to see someone
more age appropriate, though.
Interesting. Huh.
Can I--
can I just tell you
that you're not what
I was expecting either
in the best way possible.
Juicy.
Tell me.
Well, I thought
you'd be cold.
You know, less welcoming.
This is honestly
the best surprise.
Ooh, that was a close call.
Oh, hi.
I'm Kaitlin. Hi.
Hi. I'm Autumn.
It is so good to meet you.
Oh.
This isn't your girlfriend?
No.
My girlfriend's on the phone
out on the porch.
Oh, no.
I'm Frank's partner.
Oh.
Oh.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
Wow!
Oh.
You shouldn't
have brought her.
Why not?
Mom has a girlfriend,
why shouldn't I?
I'm not saying you
can't have a girlfriend.
I'm saying it was dumb
as hell to bring her here.
Yeah but, your mother's
a very progressive person now.
Gimme that.
-You don't smoke.
-I do today.
Ah.
What?
You've been hanging
out with your sister?
Yes.
Oh, they'll be fine.
All right?
Autumn is very open.
She's making me more present.
I hate all of this.
Just to be clear.
Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Fuck.
I didn't know you were coming.
He didn't mention it.
Well, it's just--
it was a little last minute.
You know, we were like
making breakfast together
this morning,
and he mentioned that
he was gonna come out here
and see his family.
And it was me.
I jumped on the opportunity
to meet you all.
Okay. So he just
invited you on a whim?
Yeah.
You're Kaitlin, right?
Yes. That is my name.
Yeah. I thought so.
Wow. This--
this home though, Kathy.
It's so warm and inviting.
Really good vibes.
Hmm.
Uh, so where is Frank?
I-- I should go and say hello.
Oh, he should be
in the backyard.
Oh, oh, oh.
So how long have you
and my dad been--
Partners? Um...
really only
a few weeks, Kaitlin.
But let me tell you,
it was instantaneous.
I mean, you know how
those things are.
-Right?
-Oh yeah, I sure do.
-Immediately.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Oh. Oh.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Sorry, I had to deal with
a baby shower reservation.
Uh...
-You must be Sadie.
-Hi. Oh.
You're so sweet.
Oh, no. I'm Autumn.
Uh, my dad's girlfriend.
-Partner.
-Oh.
Wow. You two are
a beautiful couple.
Thanks.
-What the actual fuck, Frank?
-What?
Did you think about
giving me a heads up maybe
that you were bringing the child
you're fucking to my house?
She's not a child.
Oh, did you card her?
How would you know?
Where'd you get
that cigarette?
Oh, nice.
Giving our daughter nicotine.
-She's a big girl.
-Mom, don't be mad.
-Gimme one.
-What?
I wanna smoke right now.
What?
Today was supposed to be about
Kaitlin and her new girlfriend.
Did you think about that?
No. I just thought--
That you'd ruin today
and it would be about you.
You know, Autumn is
the sweetest soul, Kath.
The sweetest soul?
Oh.
Who the fuck are you?
What planet do you live on?
I mean, you grow
yourself a ponytail
and now you're
a born-again hippie.
Is she gonna align my chakras?
She probably could.
-Clearly she's--
-Just kidding. Okay?
I meant no offense.
Kath, come on.
She's someone I care about.
I-- I wanted her
to meet you guys.
That's all.
-No malice.
-Just stupidity.
Both of you stop.
Everyone's here now.
So let's just drink
some goddamn punch
and eat some veggies and dip
and try to be nice.
-Yeah?
-Fine by me.
Kaitlin has been terrified
of screwing things
up with Mattie.
Don't do anything to mess
this up for her, please.
-I would never.
-Yeah. Yeah.
But the two of you together
are a lot right now.
Just take it down a few
pegs for Kaitlin, yeah?
Yeah.
Yes.
Great.
So, Mattie, what kind of
restaurant is your place?
Uh, I wanted my food
to reflect me and my roots.
It has a Louisiana flair.
Lots of seafood and spice.
-That's so cool.
-Yeah.
You all have
to come by sometime.
Yeah. It's one of the best
places in Brooklyn.
I went there on a date.
It's legit.
-Oh, we should
go there, Frank.
-Sure.
Yeah?
Do you have anything
vegetarian?
It's really a seafood joint.
I have a vegetarian
thing on the menu,
but you're not gonna get
the whole pizazz with it.
Oh, right.
Okay.
I just don't
wanna bullshit you.
No, no, no.
And I totally appreciate you.
Unfortunately,
I just can't eat animals
'cause you can feel their pain.
-Oh boy.
-Oh no, no.
You really can.
You know what? Yeah.
I'm gonna send you
an article and I swear
that you will all like never
taste meat the same way.
- Really looking forward to it.
- Yeah.
Mattie, how long
have you been cooking?
My whole life.
Yeah. I did the damn thing.
Went to culinary school
and fought to work with chefs
I really admire
and now I'm steering the ship.
Badass.
Have you, uh,
always liked women?
- Oh, Dad.
- Uh...
Yeah, I have.
Oh, okay. No, I'm just
educating myself.
You know, because some people
like, you know Kathy here,
it's like they don't realize
it until later in life.
-Hmm?
-Hmm.
Well, maybe I was on the edge
of homosexuality and, uh...
your sad ass just tipped
me over the brink.
-Want some punch?
-Ah!
-Oh, my God.
-Mom!
Geez.
-Are you, um...
-It's okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, Autumn, I'd like
to know more about you.
-Really?
-Mm.
Uh, what would you
like to know, Kathy?
Um, how about
where you grew up?
Um, New Hampshire.
And also California,
New Mexico, Utah.
Yeah we moved around a lot
because my dad was in
the military, yeah.
How interesting.
Do you always date older men?
-No.
-Oh.
Some of them, obviously.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Actually, you know what?
Yeah, now that I think
about most of them.
That's funny, right?
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
Sorry for being late.
Brought some bubbles
to celebrate.
Oh, hi.
-Thank you.
-Mattie?
Oh, and I'm Autumn,
Frank's partner.
Partner. Okay.
Very nice to meet you.
I'm Joanne.
I'm Kathy's girlfriend.
Partner.
Frank. How are you?
Just peachy. Yeah.
Looking forward
to tax season this year.
-I'm sure.
-Yeah.
Did Frank tell you there
was this crazy art opening
that we went to
a few weeks back?
Oh, it was so cool.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
All right, so there's this
phone booth in the back.
You dial a number,
and then it's like this
entire burlesque club
like behind the back
of the phone booth.
Yeah.
And the craziest part was
that Frank actually knew
one of the drag performers.
How crazy is that?
Yeah, pretty
unbelievable actually.
Having trouble picturing
you at a drag club.
-Burlesque club.
-Oh, no. Kathy's right.
It's a drag show.
Dad at a drag club. Okay.
Well, I just wanted to say
thank you for having me.
Oh.
-To new beginnings.
-Aw. To new beginnings.
-Yes.
-Indeed.
And many more.
-Oh, man.
-Mm-hmm.
Joanne is moving in.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
I didn't realize
we were sharing that.
Oh, wow.
When?
Next month.
I got a crazy offer
on my house.
Just makes sense.
Going to set up
my home office right here.
Where?
The smaller bedroom, upstairs.
Danny's room?
Frank, it's time.
It's time, huh?
Are you kidding me?
That's like--
you can't do that.
Frank, I have to work
through it.
And I-- I can't see
his things all the time.
Mom, I think that's
a really healthy decision.
Well, I think it's shitty.
You don't get to talk to her
that way anymore, Frank.
And I don't really like
that tone. It's bad vibes.
Frank, can I talk to you...
in the other room?
Uh, if you'll all just
excuse me really quickly.
-Babe, are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
I just need a minute.
Just need a minute. Yeah.
Sorry. Excuse me.
-This is--
-Not ideal.
Hmm.
Since when did this become
a let's introduce all
of our significant others
at the same fucking time party?
It's not so bad. Really.
Look me in the eye
and mean that.
I can't.
Dad is...
What the hell
is going on with Dad?
He's suddenly, Mr. Pride Parade?
What the fuck, right?
I can't. I can't take it.
The way he treated Danny
and now like, this?
Mom's letting Joanne move in?
When the hell was
she gonna share that?
They're both
losing their minds.
Look, I-- I'll talk
some sense into them.
I can reason with Mom.
Mom's drunk.
You're lucky I'm not drunk.
I'd say some things I regret.
Please say something
you might regret.
You don't get to comment
on my life anymore.
I wouldn't dream
of saying anything
about your newfound
lesbian lifestyle.
God.
You know what's sad?
Sadder than that Maserati
you used to drive around?
Sadder than that poor
excuse of a ponytail?
Sadder than having to show up
with your young girlfriend?
That you're still doing
self-centered things
when your children need you.
I'm self-centered, huh?
Who called Joanne in,
right, to run defense?
Who dropped
the "Joanne is moving in"
bomb during a toast?
To the weirdest afternoon
I've had in a while.
Salut.
Cheers.
Joanne,
can I guess your sign?
-Sure.
-Okay.
Ooh, I wanna play.
Oh, well you're easy
'cause you're a Libra.
Oh shit.
How did you know?
Because you're--
you're super indecisive
about your drink,
but you're also
very deeply in love.
Libra. Easy.
She's harder.
Harder how?
Oh, because you are
very fiery like a Scorpio,
but you're also
confident like a Leo.
-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.
I kind of think
that you're a Gemini.
You would be correct.
Boom!
Maybe I'm a little bit buzzed,
but I am very impressed.
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Shocked.
I never would've agreed
to you getting the house
if I knew you were gonna move
your whatever she is right in.
You're lucky
I didn't go after more.
You're living
your bohemian lifestyle
sitting on our life savings.
Don't cry to me
about who got what.
You're letting her use
Danny's room as her office.
You kept his room
like a museum.
You didn't let
anyone touch a thing.
And now it's just
gonna be her office?
I need to change some things.
For me.
Because you're
just over it now?
How dare you.
That is something
I'll never, never get over.
Someone should
check on them.
No. No way.
Absolutely not.
This is how much I love you.
I am going
to wrangle our parents
and keep their asses in check.
Fuck.
Oh, it seems like
a real party in here.
-Oh, your mother and I are--
-Fighting?
Openly during
a casual get together?
Your father's upset
about Danny's room.
Well, it's weird.
I don't know why
anyone would choose
to have their office
in a room
where something awful
like that happened.
Thank you.
I'm not taking
your side by the bye.
It is weird though.
Of course it's fucking weird.
Your son died in there.
I also do not think you
should keep everything
just as it was because--
because we all think
about him all the time
and I--
I don't think you need
such a stark reminder
down the hall, yeah?
Yeah.
I thought we had
agreed to be civil.
-Well, she, uh--
-No, no, no.
None of that.
Whatever's about
to come out of your mouth...
-Sadie--
-Or yours.
I understand this is
very fresh for you both,
to be around one another
with new partners,
but it's happening
so grow the fuck up
and figure out
how to function.
Um, can I say something?
No. Now is the time
when you listen.
I'm all about evolutions
and allowing change,
all that stuff.
But I need you both to know
how hard this is
for me and Kaitlin.
What?
You suddenly being queer
and-- and Dad like being fine
with Kaitlin's partner.
It's, I mean, why could you not
have given Danny that grace?
Going to drag clubs
and being so open after
how you treated him?
That's a hard pill to swallow.
You, neither of you,
were good parents to him.
Sweetheart.
Why didn't you fight
harder for him, Mom?
You had no problem making
space for yourself.
Why didn't you
make it for him?
I should have.
I wish I had.
I'm ashamed
of how I treated him.
I can't change any of it.
Nope.
It's good that you're both...
Change is good.
-Yeah.
-You both needed it.
Now Kaitlin needs you, okay?
She needs you to get
back in there and be nice.
Or nice-ish.
Agreed.
Fine.
Okay. Fine.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Get in there.
Oh, my God. I love today.
It's perfect.
It's perfection.
I love today.
The sun feels good.
Oh, my God.
Do you wanna rent bikes?
Or would that--
would that unfortunately
bring back some really
painful memories for you?
Aw, would you hit me again?
-Maybe.
-Oh.
Oh. My ass hurts just
thinking about it.
Oh, damn, your poor ass.
Oh, it'll never be the same.
Oh, oh.
My life will
never be the same.
That's nice.
-Mm.
-I like that.
I'm actually going in
to see my doc tomorrow.
Just gonna check out your,
uh, your healer's handy work
and I haven't had
a checkup in years.
What? Good.
It's nice to get like
a clean bill of health.
Yeah.
-Oh.
-Oh!
Oh, my God. He's so cute.
Fuck. I love that age.
You're gonna be
a great mother.
Thank you.
-I don't think we should--
-Don't finish that thought.
But I should.
I think we should be
honest with each other.
Okay. Okay.
You may not realize it now,
Autumn, but you will.
At some point you'll realize
that I can't give you
what you really want.
Yeah, but maybe you're
gonna change your mind.
I can't.
What about if what
feels good right now
is good enough for right now?
Yeah.
That's how I've lived
my whole life.
I don't recommend it.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Are you breaking up with me?
No, no, no, no.
I don't know what
I'm doing, okay?
But I...
but I know this isn't going
to turn out like either
of us want it to.
Ah.
I know that. I know.
But can we just
not do that today?
Can we just have a perfect day?
What's...
are you okay?
No.
Okay. Well-- well come--
come-- come sit.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
Sorry I came here.
I-- just nowhere else to go.
What the hell is going on?
You know when something
really awful happens?
You just need to--
you need to find someone
who really knows you.
What happened?
You're my person, Kathy.
-You know me.
-Are you okay? Out with it.
I'm sick.
My prostate.
-Oh, boy.
-Yeah.
Is it treatable?
Yes.
And what are your odds?
Really good.
They caught it early.
Oh, come on. Jesus.
Why the hell are you
scaring me with this?
I mean, here I am thinking
you're a dead man walking.
Well, it's still serious.
Yeah, but it's not
that serious.
Well, it's not like I have
a cold or something.
I mean, they're going
to block my testosterone.
Are, are we feeling
a certain way
about our pee-pee
not working as good?
Don't call it a pee-pee.
Oh, my God.
-You want a beer?
-Yeah.
You have to tell the girls.
You know that, right?
Yes.
Does it hurt?
No.
Well, that's good.
I'm really scared.
Well, it is scary.
Can't you just tell me
it's all gonna be okay?
Do I look like a doctor?
You look beautiful.
Mm. Oh, you're a smoothie.
You're probably going
to be okay, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Um, how's Joanne?
She's great.
She's an exceptional human.
We decided to sell the house.
I was gonna tell you.
Wow.
It's time. Yeah.
Probably was time
five years ago.
Wow.
You are not allowed
to die on me, Frankie.
You understand?
Still soft on me?
I'll always love you.
Well where is the lovely
and way too young Miss Autumn?
Oh, we broke things up.
Mm.
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
Yeah. She wanted kids.
-And I'm, uh--
-Old.
Yes.
She was very... sweet.
You wanted to hit me
with young again.
I did.
Hey.
Thank you.
For being kind.
You're welcome.
I love you too, Kath.
Oh, I know.
No, no, don't do it yet.
I-I have to...
-I didn't do anything yet.
-I'll miss you, Pony.
-Hey.
-I won't.
-It's okay.
-Oh, no.
No. Oh, oh, oh.
Ah!
Oh, no.
Oh, should we keep it?
-Yeah.
-A memento.
-We should burn it.
-Hey!
-Oh, boy.
-What?
-No.
-Wha--
-It's not that bad.
-Not that bad?
-Uh, I'll fix it.
-You'll fix what? My hair?
It's not that bad, Dad.
How are you feeling, Daddy?
You know, tired as hell.
You look good.
Yeah. Well, that's
all that really matters.
I hate that this is happening.
Hey, we've been
through worse, right?
Yeah.
We got through the worst
of it, right?
I'll be all right.
-You better.
-Yeah.
I will.
I'm taking this.
-No, it's--
-You got to throw it out.
-Nope, nope, nope, mine.
-It's wet now.
-No. It's weird.
-It's my pony.
Okay? Mine.
He lives.
He looks like shit,
but he's living.
Can't keep a good man down.
I said nothing about
you being a good man.
Yeah. That's fair.
Oh, it's been ages
since you let me steal
some of your drugs.
Mm. Has been.
You take that job?
Well, I took a job,
but not that job.
I'm teaching.
-Nice.
-It is nice.
And plus
the insurance is great.
You know, it's...
Ah, I'm a little sick.
What's that mean?
Uh, prostate stuff.
Nah.
You'll be fine.
Yeah, I'll be fine, eh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know I beat breast cancer.
Way harder.
Well, not that
it's a competition.
Yeah.
But if were, I'd win.
Hmm.
Well, I should...
Can I walk with you?
Pardon?
We've been talking on
this bench for weeks.
I thought it might be nice
to take a walk together.
Walk together?
Walk together.
Yeah.
Okay.
How about this way?
Okay.
Oh, ho, ho.
Oh.
-Oh.
-Geez.
Sunsets are so overrated,
don't you think?
I do?
Yeah. Yeah.
Sunrise, much more beautiful.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are we making small talk?
You wanna talk
about the weather?
-No.
-Good.
Because life is too short
for fucking small talk.
Okay. All right.
Hey.
Bye, you.
Don't you want to get
some breakfast or something?
Oh, hell no.
Oh. Thanks though.
I... okay.
Should we go to
Milano's later, love?
Oh yeah. I'll come meet you
there about six.
Perfection.
-You are.
-You.
Ow! Ow!
Oh, shit!
Shit! Shit!
Fuck.
Goddammit.
Hey.
Hiya. You called?
Yeah. We need to iron out
some of the stuff
at the lawyers this week.
Did you get the email?
Yeah.
Okay. Can you answer it?
-Sure.
-Thanks.
Just trying
to get this done, Frank.
I know you are.
Take care.
Uh-huh.
-What?
-It stinks.
Want some?
-That's good shit.
-Yep.
The best.
I've had better.
All righty then.
Yeah, I'm not the type
to wake and bake.
Extreme situations, it's...
What's wrong with
smoking in the morning?
-Nothing's it's just that--
-You look like you do it
every morning.
No way.
Divorce can make
you do crazy things.
Ah, ah, ah!
I just wanted a smoke.
I don't need to hear
your whole life story.
Fine. Geez.
No offense.
Some taken.
Okay.
Whelp.
I said, no offense.
Pretty sunrise.
Oh, Dad. Hi.
-Hey. Hey.
-Over here.
-Hey.
-Hey. Nice place.
Yeah, I like it.
They have really good coffee
and they do comedy
and poetry at night,
and I can stumble in
from my apartment.
-It's great.
-Ooh. Hey, how's
the new place?
Oh, it's so tiny and all mine,
so it's delightful.
- Yeah.
- You gotta gimme a tour.
Yeah. It'll take ten seconds.
You look like shit.
-Thanks.
-Yeah, no,
I'm gonna cut that ponytail
off when you least expect it.
Hey.
Unlike most men my age,
I still have hair, you know?
I'm just seeing how
long I can get it.
-I hate it.
-Yes, I know.
-So you've said.
-So much.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
So how is "Operation Back
to your Roots" going?
What?
You know,
like you in Brooklyn
literally blocks away
from where you grew up,
jobless without Mom.
Like what--
how is all that going?
It's fine.
Jesus Christ. It's like
pulling teeth with you.
God, your generation, man.
You know, it's okay to talk
about your feelings, right?
What if I don't want to?
Okay.
How are you?
I'm good. Yeah.
I've got a few freelance
gigs coming up,
-so that's nice.
-Oh.
Chip off the old block, huh?
Yeah. You got those
writing chops from me.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I am currently writing a
BuzzFeed quiz
that'll tell you what
your favorite sandwich is
based off your Disney
knowledge, so...
Hmm.
So how would I get to tuna?
Little Mermaid
and Finding Nemo questions.
Oh, okay.
I'm also seeing someone new.
Wow! Yeah?
-Super.
-Yeah.
Hey, so are, are they--
are they he or her or she?
Mattie is actually
non-binary and uses
she/they pronouns.
Yeah. They work as a chef
at this little place in Dumbo.
-It's really great.
-Oh.
And they've got
their shit together.
It's, yeah.
Yeah, that--that sentence
still confuses me a little,
-but that's okay.
-Yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
So how long have you
been seeing each other?
Not long, but it
feels different.
Different, like special?
Yeah. Kind of.
-Aw.
-Yeah.
How's Sadie?
Oh, oh.
Sewing her oats.
-Oh.
-Everywhere.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
-Good, good, good, yeah.
-Yeah.
So, uh, how's your mother?
Oh. Um.
Well...
What?
She's seeing someone.
Oh.
Why? Why did you tell him?
-I had to.
-You really didn't.
I mean he would've found out
and then he would've
known that we knew.
So?
Why are you walking so fast?
Because you're stressing me out
and I need a goddamn smoothie.
- A smoothie?
- You don't understand.
This place is excellent and--
and it's closing soon.
If we get there even
a minute or two late,
then I won't get mine.
You're so intense sometimes.
I want what I want
when I want it.
Oh.
How did he take it?
Oh, Dad?
Oh, not great.
I mean, it was kind of
like a one-two punch.
Because it's Joanne?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he's one to talk.
He's been dating people.
Yeah, but nobody seriously
and not somebody
who's been friends
with the family for years.
-And a woman.
-Yeah.
I mean, he is been
dating sad younger women
with severe daddy issues,
but you know, nothing again
that's turns into
a relationship.
I don't like thinking about
Daddy seeing younger women.
It grosses me out.
I-- it grosses me out that
you still call him Daddy.
Which one is this?
Oh, don't make it seem like
there are thousands, Kaitlin.
Jesus.
Uh, Ben?
No.
Oliver?
No. I ended that weeks ago.
It's-- it's a guy
I work with.
It's so dumb.
It's-- it's so against
company policy.
That makes it hotter though.
It really does.
Oh, I love your slutty face.
I am not slutty!
I am--
I am sexually progressive.
Did you sleep with
him at work yet?
Well, yeah.
Slut.
No! Ugh!
Oh, you wanna go
get a cookie instead?
- Yeah, I guess.
- Yeah. It's good.
It's sugar come on.
-It's so good though.
-Come on.
I know, it's fine.
They always close early.
-Frank.
-Hey!
Oh, God. It's been ages.
How's life?
How are the kids?
-Oh, kids are good.
-Great to hear.
-How's Kath?
-Uh, she left me.
She's living in our house
with my accountant.
Oh.
Who happens to be a woman.
Wow. I'm-- that's a lot.
Mm-hmm. Yep, yep.
Shit, I'm really sorry.
Yeah, you know.
Did you need a drink?
A sedative, maybe.
Fresh out.
So you called me
about a gig, I assume.
Uh, yeah.
Just wanted to see
where your head's at.
It's been a while since
you left agency life
and I'm working on some roles
that I thought might
be of interest.
Well, I have to tell you,
I've been away from
that grind for a bit
and I'm in no rush
to get back.
I had no work-life
balance, you know?
No actual time
for my creativity.
I hear you. Those work weeks
are brutal. I know.
That last stretch,
I didn't have a weekend
off for three months
and 70-hour weeks.
You've been getting back
to your actual creativity?
Nah, it's-- I'm sketching
again and that's about it.
Have you been
consulting at all?
Yeah, like, I did a rebrand
for my cousin's
restaurant in Brooklyn.
You know, whoo.
Let me rephrase.
What are you doing for money?
Not a thing.
Follow up question.
Would you like to make money?
Yeah, just pitch me what
you gotta pitch me, Dave.
Um... chief creative
officer role.
No one above you.
You report into the CEO
and that's it.
Small agency.
Um, what's the catch?
It's in Cincinnati.
Yeah, pass.
Think about all of the brands
that are right there.
Every consumer
packaged goods company
in the states
operates from there.
There's real potential here.
Yeah, for depression.
I mean, I'm a New Yorker.
My life is here.
I got it.
You have anything for me here?
Mm. Market here is tough.
Holding companies are imploding.
Most places are really pushing
for...
diverse candidates
and you're...
Uh, yeah, a straight,
older white guy.
I didn't say that.
I would never say that.
Out loud.
Well, I mean, you know,
we had a good run
us older white guys.
Let me ask you this.
How do you feel about pharma?
Pharma?
Oh, yeah. How do I feel
about working for the devil?
Very rich devil
that pays creatives a lot
of money for very little work.
Yeah.
ED drug,
direct-to-consumer brand.
You'd really get their voice.
You'd be a great fit.
I'll think on it.
That's all I ask.
No pressure.
Hey.
I really appreciate
you thinking of me.
I'm really sorry
about everything
you're going through.
Yeah.
But pharma money makes
everything feel better.
You know, selling boner
pills to old farts like me
is a bit of a creative
downgrade.
You know?
But, hey, I'll let you know
if I feel like selling out.
All right.
Ah, salute, Frank.
Chent'annos.
Thanks, Sal.
Hard day?
Yeah, well, it's three o'clock
and I'm almost a bottle in,
so yeah, not my best day.
The divorce, huh?
All of it.
I got just the thing for you.
Some nice Sambuca.
Oh, woof.
Too many of those got me
in trouble last night.
Oh, the hair of the dog
that bit ya.
Oh, yeah. Pass.
No, my-- my puke smelled
like licorice last night.
Oh, nasty.
Sal, how long
you been married?
Me? It's going
on 40 years now.
Oh, that's a fucking
long time.
You're fucking A it is.
My Genie's an amazing woman.
But I tell you the truth,
I'd be lying to you
if I told you I wasn't a little
jealous of you, my friend.
-Jealous?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Getting to be free.
I see you walking outta here
with gorgeous young babes, huh.
You're a regular Casanova.
No, that's-- no, that--
that doesn't mean anything.
Oh, really? Why does
it have to mean anything?
-Capisce?
-Capisce.
Look what the wind blew in.
-Hi.
-Hey.
Jesus. Dad, you stink.
It's good to see you too.
How much wine have you had?
Not enough. Sit, sit.
Sal, this is my other daughter.
Sadie, right?
- I heard a lot about you.
- Oh.
Welcome to Monty's.
So how's the new job?
Uh, super intense. Thanks.
Cheers.
Dad, how often
do you come here?
Oh, you know,
your mother used to
do all the cooking
and I can't even
boil water and it's...
And besides it's your
cousin Monty's place.
I didn't even know
I had a cousin Monty, so...
My second cousin actually
on my dad's side, yeah.
You met him, I think.
Uh.
Dad, are you okay?
No.
I know Kaitlin told
you about Joanne.
-Are you...?
-No, I--
I'm just realizing
how obsolete I really am.
That's not true.
Do you think your mother
was always a lesbian?
-Dad.
-No, seriously?
Was our marriage a joke?
God.
Dad, I-- I think--
I think sexuality is more
complicated than that.
Oh, what does that mean?
-It--
-It's not just gay
or straight anymore, Frank.
You got asexuality,
bisexual, metrosexual.
My hunch is that
Kathy is pansexual.
That is surprising
and accurate.
Sal, you're a very
knowledgeable guy.
Hey, I'm a bartender
in Brooklyn.
It comes with the territory.
Hey. Hey.
What does pansexual mean?
It means there's no
such thing as gender, man.
Kathy's attracted
to personalities.
Your-- your relationship
with Mom was really complex.
Complex? Yeah.
Or maybe she just
wanted to get naked
with our accountant
the whole time.
Look, you both cheated.
Neither of you were
happy for years.
She didn't even fall apart.
She just immediately
got someone new.
I'm worried about you.
It-- it's three in the
afternoon and you are pretty--
No, I'm okay,
kiddo, all right?
Ugh.
I got-- I got a new job
offer this afternoon.
Well, that's--
that's great.
A new agency might be
just what you need.
But what's it for?
Uh, erectile
dysfunction drugs.
Oh, no, you're--
-you're not serious.
-No. I am.
Oh, my God. Does it come
with a free prescription?
No.
Hey, no, no.
No need for a blue pill
for this guy.
-No. Don't tell me anymore.
-I'm as virile as a 20 year old.
Stop. Stop.
I don't wanna know
any of this.
Okay. All right.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
I'm using Tinder now.
Are you on Tinder?
Daddy, I'm--
that is disturbing.
Why? Sal says that's
how you meet people now.
What? Oh, Tinder.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Let me see.
No. That's private.
Dad, let me see your account.
Okay.
-Oh!
-What?
Your age range is 30 to 50?
-And?
-I'm over 30, Dad.
And you're over 50 and...
How many women are
you talking to?
Thi-- this is wild.
No, no, no, no, no.
I-- I keep swiping
and they keep chatting.
It's-- it's very convenient.
I'm-- I have no words.
Oh, geez. I thought
you'd be proud of me.
Are-- are you being safe?
Oh, geez. Yes.
-I--
-Hey.
You folks want some food?
We got some terrific
new specials.
Yeah. The usual.
Chicken parm.
How about you, dear?
I'll take the scampi.
Excellent choice.
I'll fire it right up.
Hey, this place is amazing.
-Mm.
-You know?
Hidden gem.
All those bougie
places along Kent
have nothing on this spot.
I'm looking
forward to the food.
I, uh-- I can't stay long.
I'm meeting someone
tonight in the city.
Ooh. Hot date?
No, it's a work thing.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
Huh.
Here's to your thing.
Oh, well, thank you.
Cheers.
Hi.
Ahem.
Do you have that report
I asked for earlier?
-The--
-What?
-The--
-Oh.
-The thing?
-Yeah.
In, uh, Jasmine's office.
Okay.
-Mm.
-Mm.
Oh, God. You're sexy.
Less talking,
more taking clothes off.
Now.
Are you just
gonna stare at me?
No, sir.
Oh, shit! Come on.
The table,
the table, the table.
Shut up.
You shut up.
Make me shut up.
My friend.
Oh, you again?
Hmm.
I am about to partake
if you like.
You always share your drugs?
If I know the person
appreciates it, yes.
It really is good.
None of that vape bullshit.
Yeah. I'm old school.
Life is too short
to smoke shitty weed.
I was rude to you
the other day.
I was feeling
a little sorry for myself.
Yes, you were.
Why are you up so early?
After my first daughter
was born, my clock shifted.
I started getting up
at five every morning.
Never shifted back.
And sunrises are undervalued.
Hmm. They really are.
What's your name?
Masha.
So Russian.
I'm from Georgia.
You don't sound Southern.
The country, Eastern Bloc.
Cold as hell. Poor as hell.
Right, right, right.
See you around.
And thank you for the drugs.
-Oh, God.
-Are you--
-Oh, oh.
-Oh, my God.
I think that was--
that was my fault.
Of course
it was your fault.
You slammed right into me.
-Apologies.
-Oh, Jesus!
-Oh.
-Are, are you okay?
Oh.
-I'm fine. I'm fine, okay?
-Are you hurt?
I'm fine.
Ow. Fine.
Okay.
I-- I think you
might've hurt your bum.
Yeah, well,
I fell flat on my ass,
so, mm-hmm, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Well, what can I do?
-Uh, do you need ice?
-I'm fine.
-I'm fine.
-No, no.
I don't-- I don't think
you are though, um.
Hold that thought.
You know what?
Why don't you come with me to--
to see my healer?
They'll fix you right up.
What? I need an X-ray,
not a healer.
Yeah, but Western medicine
only goes so far.
You're one of those?
Oh, geez.
-Fine. Okay.
-Yeah?
I don't believe
I'm gonna say this,
but take me to your healer.
Is that it?
She never touched me.
It's okay. She doesn't have to.
I'm actually
going to touch you now.
Oh, okay.
Oh, oh, oh!
All right.
Slow, slow, slow.
It's okay.
Drink this.
Hmm. What a funny
presence he has.
Where did you find him?
- Starr Street.
- Huh?
-Yeah.
-So interesting.
Mm. Thank you.
Continue using this
on your backside.
I'm going to make you a salt
bath to take home with you too.
Alternate ice and hot.
And you might wanna
think about a cleanse.
-A cleanse?
-Yeah.
I was feeling your
body needs that.
My God.
My God,
she's really world class.
I mean, how do you feel?
Banged up.
But...
I'm all right I think.
Really?
See? World class.
I mean, I'm moving.
Oh, my God.
You have to let me
make this up to you.
Why don't you, um--
why don't you come
to my friend's art opening
with me tonight, hmm?
And I'll get you dinner.
Oh, that's not-- you don't--
you don't have to do that.
I-- I kind of do though.
Bathe in this tonight.
Well, half tonight,
half tomorrow morning.
Oh.
Oh, love.
No, you bought me
all my new crystals.
What? Are you sure?
Thank you.
That color's really
good with your skin tone.
Thank you, Booboo.
You ever wear red?
Oh, I don't. I've tried.
Every time I put it on,
I hear my mother's voice saying,
"Only certain kinds
of women wear red."
Bold women.
Women who don't give a shit
what people think of them.
No.
Did he sign?
He did. He sent all
the papers to my lawyer.
Calls for champagne
tonight then.
Oh, yeah.
God, I love all
the trees in Brooklyn.
Huh.
Reminds you of
where you grew up?
-Maybe. Yeah.
-Hmm.
Or it's really 'cause
it makes the neighborhood
feel more feminine, you know?
Even though all of the trees
in a city are male.
Oh, they are?
Yeah. City planners,
they didn't want female leaves
on the sidewalk.
I never thought of a tree
as having a gender.
Uh, yeah. I suppose gender
really is a construct, so...
Ooh!
Roger will be
there in the morning
to finish the back splash.
I figured you'd
be at the office.
Oh, good, yeah.
-Yeah. I'll be back for lunch.
-Great.
Love, I need
to ask you something.
That felt weighted.
I got
an offer on my house today.
It's not even on the market.
My neighbor, her daughter
just had twins.
Wants to move back.
Offered me a lot of money.
All cash.
Wow. That's amazing.
So, I'm wondering, since
I'm at your place so much...
Oh.
Oh.
No pressure.
But what do you think?
Um...
-Yeah, I can see this.
-Yeah. And you actually can--
-Honey! You came!
-Baby, I made it.
Oh, thank God!
There are so many people
I have to talk about.
Ooh. Yes.
So what'd you
think of my piece?
Oh, no,
I haven't seen it yet.
'Cause Frank and I, we were
just admiring this one.
Frank. So rude of me.
I didn't realize Autumn
brought her uncle.
-Mm-mm.
-Or handsome,
older,
hopefully queer cousin
who's actively looking
for a young top to sponsor.
I hit him
with my bike earlier
and I invited him
to be my date.
-Date?
-Date?
Show us your piece, love.
-Yes. This way.
-Thank you.
Hmm.
So his pieces are
usually very masculine.
Why are you putting a gender
on things? I hate that.
So weird and old fashioned.
-My work has no gender.
-Sorry.
Now come and look at
my huge dick.
Okay.
Whoa.
-Takes your breath away, right?
-Hmm.
-Did it sell already?
-Yes.
Thank God that some
tech platform guy
wants it for his entryway.
Congrats.
I love it when art
meets commerce.
Amen. Mm.
Enjoy, catch you.
-Oh, hello?
-Hello.
Sebastian?
-Hey, love.
-Hi, baby.
I gotta go.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Do you know them?
Yeah, I think I do.
Also, what's the deal with
this line in the back here?
-Queerdos, say hi.
-Hi.
Are you both up
for some super fun?
-Mm?
-Oh!
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-In the back?
Frank. So forward of you.
Yes.
-Yes.
-Yes?
-Yes.
-Yes!
-Yes, please.
-Excuse me.
Pardon moi.
Artist coming through.
Sasha, love.
I must show my friends.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Oh, yeah.
Tight squeeze, baby.
-Oh, geez.
-Come on, Frank.
-You ready?
-All right. Okay.
-All right, all right.
-Come on, Frank.
-I'm trying.
-Close the door.
What's the secret word?
Gold star.
Oh. Oh!
Oh!
Shall we?
No, no, no, no, Sadie.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Yes.
-No. Not her office.
-Yep.
Come on.
What? Are you afraid?
No.
-Oh, yeah?
-Oh yeah.
Okay.
Shit.
-Shit.
-Shit.
-Fuck.
-Oh, fuck.
Oh!
What?!
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
-Baby!
-Hi! Oh, my...
Thank you, baby.
Ow, ow. C'mere,
c'mere, c'mere, c'mere.
You look amazing.
-Muah, muah.
-Muah, muah.
Sebastian.
I'm sorry, you probably
don't remember me.
I do. King of Knives!
Yeah. Oh, wow.
You know Sebastian?
I go by The Enchantress
when I'm in drag.
Please tell me how you
know each other immediately.
Oh, my God. I am dying.
You've both been
to my holiday parties.
-Yes.
-Yeah.
Well, it's not every party
such a distinguished--
You mean "old".
Gosh, she's saying old.
No, no, no.
He left an impression.
Well, you read my cards.
Bitch!
You never read my cards.
I never feel
compelled to, okay?
But what was your name again?
-Frank.
-Frank. Yes.
-You look great, Frank.
-Aw.
You look better and brighter.
And fierce.
Oh. Oh, shit.
I'm on again.
Okay. Stay right here.
Hey!
Cheers.
I'm enchanted by you,
Enchantress.
You're incredible. Mm.
Who, me?
I love you guys.
-I love you.
-I love you.
You say it, Frank.
I love you.
Fucking A.
I was kind of wrong about you.
Never judge a book, right?
Oh, wow,
are you on something?
Yes.
Yes, I am!
Ooh, molly?
This dude gets it.
It's okay.
Oh, my God.
I don't think he
goes that way, Braden.
Everybody's a little bit queer.
Queerness is a spectrum.
Wait, wha-- do you guys
hear about something called,
what was it, pansexuality?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Oh, okay, I'm last to know.
It's not your fault.
You're really old.
Hey! All right!
That's it.
Oh, shit.
There's a Yellow Cab.
Oh, shit, okay.
All right, come on Braden.
-Oh, oh, oh, oh.
-Oh, my God.
Goodbye, goodbye.
I love you.
Muah, muah,
muah, muah, muah.
-Love you.
-All right.
Whoa!
Please take care of them.
Do you wanna grab paper-bag
beers and walk around with me?
Hell yeah.
-Great.
-Mm, mm.
Didn't know that
side of you, Frank.
You do now.
Wow.
This spot right here used to
be a great place to get mugged.
Ah, 30 years ago...
you couldn't give
these buildings away.
God, that is so crazy to me.
Oh. Wish I bought some.
Can I ask you a rude question?
Well, yeah.
If I buckle up for it, yeah.
Sure. Shoot.
How old are you?
Never ask a lady her...
Fifty-nine.
Wow.
-Wow.
-Okay.
That's so old or wow,
you must know so much?
Both.
Come on.
I just-- I don't know.
I think about how
much I've changed
over like, the past ten years.
What does 59 feel like?
Oh.
Well, sometimes tired...
weirdly centered...
definitely much wiser.
What were you like
when you were my age?
I don't actually
know how old you are.
Oh, okay.
I'm 33.
It's my Jesus year, baby.
That guy.
Oh, what an overachiever.
Thirty-three.
So I was working hard,
very frenetic, you know?
I would've told you it was
for the kids, you know,
to provide for the kids.
Such a bullshit line.
I wanted to feel important.
What did you do?
What do I do?
I'm an executive
creative director.
Yeah. No, I don't know
what that means.
I work in advertising.
Okay.
Doing?
You know the toilet
paper with the squirrel.
Sammy?
Sure.
Yeah. Well, I made
all those commercials.
The squirrel was my idea.
Okay.
-It doesn't matter.
-Cool.
I was paid to make
ads for a product
that you literally
smear shit on and flush...
for decades of my life.
And then I quit that job.
Oh, my God.
You're unemployed?
Just like me.
No, actually,
I'm between gigs.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, okay. I'm unemployed.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. I gotta pee.
Oh, should we try
to find a...
W-w-wait, wait.
Y-y-you-- w-what are you--
Okay then.
All right, all right.
Why do people feel comfortable
peeing in front of me?
'Cause you're nice.
And also peeing outside
is like one of life's
greatest pleasures.
Oh, I've never
thought of it that way.
Aren't you worried about
getting it on yourself?
What? No way.
I got great aim.
Plus the trick is the--
you know, it's the angle and,
oh, and getting it outta
the way of your shoes.
Oh, geez.
Now I have to pee.
Yep.
That's cheap beer.
Goes straight through ya.
Geez, shoo-ah.
Oh, my God.
You are so fucking demure.
I just squatted right
in front of you.
You wuss.
Hey, usually I have
to work up to peeing
in front of someone.
Not on a first,
whatever this is.
I said it before.
It's a date.
Oh, my God.
You're one of those.
One of those people that
cleans my hands after I piss?
Yes.
There we go.
Great, well,
now you can hold my hand
and not be grossed out.
Okay.
Do you want me
to hold your hand?
I'm sorry. I'm-- I'm having
a hard time reading you.
Me?
You're-- you're so beautiful.
And I--
I truly enjoy this.
Yeah, me too.
But I also realize
that I'm an older man
and, you know, from a completely
different generation.
And I-- I don't want
to misconstrue...
Yeesh. Boy.
It's a date.
I'm really glad you
cleaned your hands.
Oh, my God.
Dear God.
-You're the best.
-Made all the difference,
didn't it?
-Ta-da.
-Holy shit.
This place is amazing.
Ah, small,
but I like it.
Yeah. And I love
this neighborhood.
Oh, I grew up here.
My dad fought to get us out.
Moved us up to Queens.
At the time it was
a huge step up.
Oh, my God.
Look at your family.
Mmm. That's a bit outdated.
Yeah.
But beautiful kids.
Yeah.
We made good babies.
You know, we got that right.
What went wrong?
No, I don't want to tell
sad stories tonight.
You know, not tonight.
You know, you gotta
shift your perception.
I'm talking all of it.
Even if something
doesn't work out.
I mean, it's just
the universe teaching you.
Hmm.
Well, that's a nice
way to frame it.
But some things are just...
well, you know, too tragic
to think of as a lesson.
Of course, and I'm-- I'm not
gonna make you talk about it,
but if you want.
-Okay, thanks.
-Oh, my God.
-I'm telling Eliza.
-Whoa, whoa. No, no.
I fully intend
to soak once you leave.
I'm sorry. Are you
asking me to leave?
No.
Good.
Then I'll draw you a bath.
Do you have candles?
Well, you're happy today.
I think I'm in love.
Really? Since yesterday.
Aw.
She's so-- she--
she glows.
She-- she's this
beautiful buoyant--
Oh! Young! Ha!
-Well, yeah.
-How young?
Thirty-three.
Oh. It'll never work.
-Why would you say that?
-Because it's true.
Well, we'll see.
And I'll be here to say,
"I told you so."
Okay.
I feel like
I'm floating now.
You're high, so you know.
Aw, she's--
she's just amazing.
Oh, my God.
You have sex?
That's very personal.
Yes.
We did not.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
No.
Can't rush this one.
Ohhh!
Oh, look at you.
Oh, goo goo, ga ga.
Oh, well, Romeo.
I leave you to it.
Oh, where you going?
Hot date?
No, just like
to keep my schedule.
Ooh. A creature of habit.
You know it.
Hey, Mom.
Um, can I come over?
Nope. I um...
I got out early.
You look like an insane person
with your eyes all
scrunched up like that.
Thank you.
-Guess what?
-Hmm?
I sold more dick
collages last night.
-I'm rich, bitch.
-Oh, fuck yeah.
That tech guy wanted to do
a studio visit last night.
I'm sorry.
After the drag show?
Late night studio visit.
I thought it might get naughty,
but turns out he's straight.
Aw.
Just really into
my phallic art.
Well, they're very emotive.
-My penises?
-Mm-hmm.
That's sweet.
That's what I'm going for.
Emoting wangs.
Where's Old Man River?
Wow. Not sure.
Mm. Didn't realize you
had daddy shit to work out.
It's not like that.
Mm. It's definitely like that.
You fuck him?
-No.
-You should.
-Oh, really?
-Yes.
So then in your mind,
you'll have dominated your
father and be done with it.
Wait, you really
don't like him?
'Cause like
I think he's so sweet.
And God, I think he's
been through a lot.
You're talking about him
like he's a rescue dog.
He is kind of.
You collect broken things.
-Like you.
-Mm!
Bitch, you did
not just say that.
-I'm fully formed.
-Debatable.
What if you have sex with him
and he dies underneath you?
-Wow, Braden.
-Mm.
It could happen.
How's his ticker?
Stop.
You're terrible at
picking men for yourself.
Case in point, old guy.
-Does he have any kids?
-Fuck you.
Yes.
What a nightmare.
How many kids.
Three.
Divorced or did
this just get juicy?
-Divorced.
-Ooh.
I mean,
I can't say I get it, but
whatever floods
your basement.
Oh, my.
I did have a surprising
amount of fun
with that old straight
white man the other night.
-But...
-You see?
What? What?
You're setting
yourself up again.
You see that, right?
What's your end game
with this one?
Oh, Braden, I am not
thinking that far ahead.
You never think
that far ahead.
Wow. Okay.
-Just...
-I'm just tired.
Tell me how you
really feel, Braden.
How old is she?
It's not about age.
Okay, but it kind of is.
She's young. She's 33.
Oh, wow.
Gross.
I still can't believe
you went to a healer
and not a hospital.
I feel great this week.
Oh, yeah?
What, is your energy
all aligned?
Are you breathing better
through your ass chakra?
Don't tease.
No, it's truly, you're making
it all too easy for me.
I mean, literally,
somebody your age
should not be seeking
medical attention
from somebody who owns
hundreds of crystals.
You could have a concussion.
But I don't.
How do you know?
You could be walking
around right now concussed.
Hey, I took that
recruiter's meeting last week.
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
-Agency?
-Yeah.
Oh, um, I don't know
about you going back
into agency stuff again.
Uh, well, yeah.
It's, uh...
it's kind of the dregs.
You know, at this
point in my career,
they relegate you to
doing pharmaceutical work.
Do you have to work though?
Can you also pass me
that wrench thing?
-Yeah.
-Yeah. That.
-Thanks.
-Well, you know, um,
depends on how
comfortable I wanna be.
You know, Mom got the house.
I got most of the savings.
You know, it's like...
Oh, that doesn't
sound right.
No.
Oh, look, I also don't need
to hear about the money stuff
between you and Mom.
Okay, well, let
me put it this way.
If I wanna live fat
and happy when I'm older,
I should probably
work a few more years.
Yeah, but do you
need to be making
the same amount
you were before?
Well, you know,
it doesn't buy happiness,
but it sure fucking helps.
Okay, what if you think about
what you need to be happy,
and then what do you need
to do to accomplish that?
Like, what if you taught?
I don't know.
What if you taught?
Okay.
People who can't get
a job at advertising,
teach advertising, you know?
I think you'd make
a great teacher.
You know, it's just
that you worked
at a really toxic environment
and you brought that
home every single night.
-I didn't mean to.
-Yeah but you did.
And Sadie, Danny and I
all felt that shit.
You know, we were always
walking on eggshells
whenever you were on a pitch.
Yeah, but I was
always on a pitch.
Exactly.
Wait, you're trying
to guilt me now?
No, I'm just being honest.
Whoa, so you're telling me
that you walked on eggshells
your entire youth, huh?
Nah. Uh-uh, no.
You and your brother
and your sister
never wanted for anything.
Anything.
You went to the best schools.
-We bought you what you needed.
-Okay, first of all, Dad,
it's not about what
you bought us, okay?
Um, and I'm sorry.
Do you think it's a coincidence
that we all ended up a mess?
-Do you?
-You're not a mess.
Okay. I am.
I'm working on it, but I am.
And that's my fault?
Wow.
You know, your generation,
you get to blame me
for everything that
ever went wrong, huh?
Yeah. I do.
What? You never
wanted for anything?
It's such a weird
fucking thing to say.
I did want something.
I wanted a father.
-Kiddo, come on.
-No.
Don't kiddo
me right now. Okay?
I got a buddy, a buddy who
sometimes tries to father me.
No, that's not fair.
No, it's not.
You're throwing a hissy fit
just because I recommend you
don't run right back into
the industry that chewed
you up and spat you out.
-No, that's not--
-No!
You went back to work
a week after Danny died
to film a campaign.
It was a launch.
Of a new toilet paper.
Like, who gives a shit?
Okay?
Your son died.
Your family needed you,
-and you were just--
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't come here for this.
-Okay?
-I am just trying
to have a conversation
with you right now.
No! You're trying to
blame me for something
that happened
a million years ago.
Five years ago, Dad.
And I'm not trying
to make you feel guilty.
I just want you to make
better choices for yourself.
I'm perfectly happy.
Happy getting stoned outta
your goddamn mind every day.
Doing what?
What are you doing?
You know, besides chasing women
that are your daughter's age.
All right. No, no.
I don't have to listen to this.
No. You know what?
You truly do not.
And she's older than Sadie.
Ooh.
By a fucking whisper, Dad.
Okay.
Fuck.
I got fired from
loads of jobs.
Like how many?
Well, one, actually,
but it was a good
one and it hurt.
But I bounced back.
I was being groomed.
I know I was.
And I just...
You fucked it up.
I fucked it up.
Well, you can come
back here.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, come and keep me company.
Mom.
Well, I just
thought I'd offer.
I don't know what
I was thinking.
Oh, honey, I don't think
you were thinking at all.
Have I ever told you how
much I hate being alone?
It terrifies me.
Alone means I have to sit with
all the pain I've tamped down
and just look at it.
Oh, sweetie.
I know that the tamping down
seems like
a good strategy, but...
I know.
It's okay to let it out.
I just-- I keep filling
the void with dumb shit.
Oh, sweet girl.
You're not dumb.
I'm not a girl anymore, Mom.
I-- I had a great job
and I was getting
my act together
to finish up school
and take the bar and...
Well, how does-- how does losing
this job take that away?
It just-- it feels
like I'm starting over.
Like I had a leg up
and I screwed it up.
We've climbed out
of worse, right?
It's just a job.
Mm.
There'll be other jobs.
Just don't fuck people
on your boss's desk
next time.
Right. That.
It was really fun though.
Oh, I'm sure it was.
It sounds great.
Oh, God. I'm dumb.
No, you're not dumb.
Just, I don't know, horny.
Mom!
You wanna stay tonight?
I have plans,
but I can cancel.
No, no way.
I just wanted to...
cry in your kitchen
and-- and drink your wine.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
You go to see your dad tonight?
Is that Fridays?
Mm.
No. Dad has a hot date.
-Oh boy.
-Mm-hmm.
Kaitlin said I didn't wanna
know and I-- I left it at that.
Think this one's serious?
-No.
-Mm.
I don't think dad's
ever really serious.
-Love you.
-I love you, Mom.
Et voila.
Dinner on a budget.
-Looks great.
-Thank you.
Um, I'm a vegetarian,
if that's all right.
-That's great.
-Are you vegetarian?
-No.
-You eat all proteins?
I haven't met
one I didn't like.
Commercial meat production
is very difficult for me.
Yeah.
But bacon.
I do miss bacon.
And steak.
Red meat's so bad for you.
-But burgers.
-Okay.
Okay. Yup.
But it-- it's all great,
you know?.
Ahem, yeah, good wine too.
- It's bad.
- It's bad.
I'm pretty sure it's gonna,
you know, get the job
done though.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I have a present for you.
-Oh?
-Mm-hmm.
So I sketch in the mornings.
And I realized
I was sketching you.
What?
Well, she's beautiful.
Oh, come on now.
Thank you.
Goddamn, I can't
wait to have kids.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I kind of want two.
It was really nice having
a sibling growing up, you know?
Oh. Yeah.
That's really special,
you know?
Mm.
So my ex and I,
we were really young,
you know, it was
a different time.
Accidental, just happened.
You know, the first two were
actually, like, boom, boom.
And you planned for the third?
Danny, yeah.
We really wanted
to try for a boy.
And so we was trying all these
different crazy positions.
-Oh, fun.
-Whee!
It was.
Kind of like, you actualized
your son into being.
I mean, how lovely is that?
I never thought
of it like that.
What's he like?
Danny?
Um, yeah. He, uh--
he died a few years back.
Oh, my God, Frank.
I'm so sorry.
No, don't be.
That must've been...
so hard.
Still is.
Was it an accident?
No, opposite really.
It was very intentional.
I mean, it's okay.
I mean, it's not,
it's just...
Hey.
To Danny.
To Danny.
You know, it's really hard
to be a human sometimes.
Yeah, it is.
And if I'm being honest...
I think I made it harder
for him.
No, it's not your fault.
I think that might just be
a kind thing people say, dear.
In this case some of
that fault lies with me.
I am so sorry.
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
Just put the empties
in the bus bucket.
I'll get them in the morning.
-You cooking tomorrow?
-Yeah.
Flores cooks on Sunday.
I'll be sleeping like
the dead.
-You ready to head?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-You coming to mine?
I like my little abode.
You haven't moved
in together yet?
Isn't that a lesbian
second date?
The fuck out of here.
I haven't even
met her folks yet.
Yeah, we're gonna
keep it that way.
I mean, I'm gonna keep
you away from my family
for as long as possible.
Mattie,
you can meet my folks.
They'd be thrilled
if you turned me gay.
Night cap?
-One and done.
-Uh-uh. It is never just one.
All right, I'll see
you assholes tomorrow.
-Bye.
-All right. Be safe.
I have something I need to say.
What?
It's important to me
that I meet your family.
-It's a terrible idea.
-I know.
First off, we can't
have them together.
I-- I'm starting to
have an anxiety attack
just thinking about that.
What if we ask Mom
not to invite Joanne.
Dad'll be all passive
aggressive. You know he will.
They wanna meet
the whole family though.
Small doses.
We're better that way, yeah?
Me first,
then Mom, then Dad.
Or we could introduce them
to the whole family all at once
and then they can
realize that I come
from a lineage of nut bags
and then bounce
and then I will die
alone with so many cats.
You don't have any cats.
Oh, not yet, but I will.
So many.
Or you just rip
the Band-Aid off
and instead of running
they stay.
I'm gonna vomit.
Just-- I'll--
I'll talk to Mom.
She'd do anything for you.
Even deal with Dad for a bit.
Dad's so weird
right now though.
He was always weird.
We just ignored it.
At least I have you.
Normal stable you.
I lost
my job last week
'cause I was fucking
that guy at the office
on my boss's desk.
I went off my meds.
Um, I might have to
move back in with Mom.
Hoo, geez.
Yeah. I'm driving the struggle
bus right now.
All right.
Well, as a former driver
and frequent rider,
I would implore you not
to move back to Westchester.
I know, I know.
Tell me this isn't a bad idea.
Having Mattie meet
everyone will be fine.
Uh, how much rum?
Oh, given the circumstances,
the bottle, baby.
It'll be fine.
Daddy's really happy for you.
-Uh-huh.
-He is.
What were his words exactly?
That you deserve happiness.
And?
And that he was surprised
you're a lesbian now.
He said the word lesbian?
Kind of.
Look, he's fine, really.
He just wants to see everybody.
Wants to meet
Kaitlin's new partner.
Wants to see me.
Wants to see what
I've done to the house.
Mom, please. For me.
It's happening.
I made crudites.
We will grill.
We will drink.
It'll all be fine.
Lemme taste that.
How is it?
Mm. Oh it's delightful.
And boozy. Mm, mm.
You wanna put it
on the porch?
-Okay. Yeah.
-Excellent.
-Hi.
-Hi, Mom.
-Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
-Hi.
-Hey, help me chop.
-No, no, no, no.
I really have to pee,
seriously. There's your ice.
So where-- where's
the mystery woman?
She's outside.
She's talking to somebody
on the phone.
I really have to pee, Mom.
I'm gonna pee all over
the floor.
-Not on my floor.
-Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Go, go, go.
You must be Kathy.
You must be
the new girlfriend.
Huh. I am.
It is so nice
to finally meet you.
Wow. You have
such lovely energy.
And I love a red lip.
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
I'm sorry. Do you--
do you need any help?
I would never turn down
an extra set of hands
in the kitchen.
-How about the carrots?
-Yes.
-Yes, please.
-Thank you.
-Um, just gonna...
-Oh, sure.
I love your dress.
Wow, thank you.
I-- I got it in Oaxaca.
And this older woman,
she hand embroiders
all these flowers.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
It was such
a transformative trip.
It's a really special place.
You know, it sounds like it.
It's actually the very first
time I ever tried ayahuasca
and, well, I was reborn there.
What is that?
Oh, it's a psychedelic
used by ancient people
all over the world.
The journey is well
worth the side effects.
What are the side effects?
Um, you expel pretty much
everything in your system.
Oh, you throw up.
Oh, yeah. Both ends.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, it's not for everyone.
Here.
Perfect. Let's take
this in the other room.
Can I just say, you're not
at all what I expected.
Oh. Fun.
I mean, type wise.
Well, what were you expecting?
Ah, somebody less spiritual,
maybe more rock and roll.
And it is nice to see someone
more age appropriate, though.
Interesting. Huh.
Can I--
can I just tell you
that you're not what
I was expecting either
in the best way possible.
Juicy.
Tell me.
Well, I thought
you'd be cold.
You know, less welcoming.
This is honestly
the best surprise.
Ooh, that was a close call.
Oh, hi.
I'm Kaitlin. Hi.
Hi. I'm Autumn.
It is so good to meet you.
Oh.
This isn't your girlfriend?
No.
My girlfriend's on the phone
out on the porch.
Oh, no.
I'm Frank's partner.
Oh.
Oh.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
Wow!
Oh.
You shouldn't
have brought her.
Why not?
Mom has a girlfriend,
why shouldn't I?
I'm not saying you
can't have a girlfriend.
I'm saying it was dumb
as hell to bring her here.
Yeah but, your mother's
a very progressive person now.
Gimme that.
-You don't smoke.
-I do today.
Ah.
What?
You've been hanging
out with your sister?
Yes.
Oh, they'll be fine.
All right?
Autumn is very open.
She's making me more present.
I hate all of this.
Just to be clear.
Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Fuck.
I didn't know you were coming.
He didn't mention it.
Well, it's just--
it was a little last minute.
You know, we were like
making breakfast together
this morning,
and he mentioned that
he was gonna come out here
and see his family.
And it was me.
I jumped on the opportunity
to meet you all.
Okay. So he just
invited you on a whim?
Yeah.
You're Kaitlin, right?
Yes. That is my name.
Yeah. I thought so.
Wow. This--
this home though, Kathy.
It's so warm and inviting.
Really good vibes.
Hmm.
Uh, so where is Frank?
I-- I should go and say hello.
Oh, he should be
in the backyard.
Oh, oh, oh.
So how long have you
and my dad been--
Partners? Um...
really only
a few weeks, Kaitlin.
But let me tell you,
it was instantaneous.
I mean, you know how
those things are.
-Right?
-Oh yeah, I sure do.
-Immediately.
-Yeah. Yeah.
Oh. Oh.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Sorry, I had to deal with
a baby shower reservation.
Uh...
-You must be Sadie.
-Hi. Oh.
You're so sweet.
Oh, no. I'm Autumn.
Uh, my dad's girlfriend.
-Partner.
-Oh.
Wow. You two are
a beautiful couple.
Thanks.
-What the actual fuck, Frank?
-What?
Did you think about
giving me a heads up maybe
that you were bringing the child
you're fucking to my house?
She's not a child.
Oh, did you card her?
How would you know?
Where'd you get
that cigarette?
Oh, nice.
Giving our daughter nicotine.
-She's a big girl.
-Mom, don't be mad.
-Gimme one.
-What?
I wanna smoke right now.
What?
Today was supposed to be about
Kaitlin and her new girlfriend.
Did you think about that?
No. I just thought--
That you'd ruin today
and it would be about you.
You know, Autumn is
the sweetest soul, Kath.
The sweetest soul?
Oh.
Who the fuck are you?
What planet do you live on?
I mean, you grow
yourself a ponytail
and now you're
a born-again hippie.
Is she gonna align my chakras?
She probably could.
-Clearly she's--
-Just kidding. Okay?
I meant no offense.
Kath, come on.
She's someone I care about.
I-- I wanted her
to meet you guys.
That's all.
-No malice.
-Just stupidity.
Both of you stop.
Everyone's here now.
So let's just drink
some goddamn punch
and eat some veggies and dip
and try to be nice.
-Yeah?
-Fine by me.
Kaitlin has been terrified
of screwing things
up with Mattie.
Don't do anything to mess
this up for her, please.
-I would never.
-Yeah. Yeah.
But the two of you together
are a lot right now.
Just take it down a few
pegs for Kaitlin, yeah?
Yeah.
Yes.
Great.
So, Mattie, what kind of
restaurant is your place?
Uh, I wanted my food
to reflect me and my roots.
It has a Louisiana flair.
Lots of seafood and spice.
-That's so cool.
-Yeah.
You all have
to come by sometime.
Yeah. It's one of the best
places in Brooklyn.
I went there on a date.
It's legit.
-Oh, we should
go there, Frank.
-Sure.
Yeah?
Do you have anything
vegetarian?
It's really a seafood joint.
I have a vegetarian
thing on the menu,
but you're not gonna get
the whole pizazz with it.
Oh, right.
Okay.
I just don't
wanna bullshit you.
No, no, no.
And I totally appreciate you.
Unfortunately,
I just can't eat animals
'cause you can feel their pain.
-Oh boy.
-Oh no, no.
You really can.
You know what? Yeah.
I'm gonna send you
an article and I swear
that you will all like never
taste meat the same way.
- Really looking forward to it.
- Yeah.
Mattie, how long
have you been cooking?
My whole life.
Yeah. I did the damn thing.
Went to culinary school
and fought to work with chefs
I really admire
and now I'm steering the ship.
Badass.
Have you, uh,
always liked women?
- Oh, Dad.
- Uh...
Yeah, I have.
Oh, okay. No, I'm just
educating myself.
You know, because some people
like, you know Kathy here,
it's like they don't realize
it until later in life.
-Hmm?
-Hmm.
Well, maybe I was on the edge
of homosexuality and, uh...
your sad ass just tipped
me over the brink.
-Want some punch?
-Ah!
-Oh, my God.
-Mom!
Geez.
-Are you, um...
-It's okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, Autumn, I'd like
to know more about you.
-Really?
-Mm.
Uh, what would you
like to know, Kathy?
Um, how about
where you grew up?
Um, New Hampshire.
And also California,
New Mexico, Utah.
Yeah we moved around a lot
because my dad was in
the military, yeah.
How interesting.
Do you always date older men?
-No.
-Oh.
Some of them, obviously.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Actually, you know what?
Yeah, now that I think
about most of them.
That's funny, right?
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
Sorry for being late.
Brought some bubbles
to celebrate.
Oh, hi.
-Thank you.
-Mattie?
Oh, and I'm Autumn,
Frank's partner.
Partner. Okay.
Very nice to meet you.
I'm Joanne.
I'm Kathy's girlfriend.
Partner.
Frank. How are you?
Just peachy. Yeah.
Looking forward
to tax season this year.
-I'm sure.
-Yeah.
Did Frank tell you there
was this crazy art opening
that we went to
a few weeks back?
Oh, it was so cool.
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
All right, so there's this
phone booth in the back.
You dial a number,
and then it's like this
entire burlesque club
like behind the back
of the phone booth.
Yeah.
And the craziest part was
that Frank actually knew
one of the drag performers.
How crazy is that?
Yeah, pretty
unbelievable actually.
Having trouble picturing
you at a drag club.
-Burlesque club.
-Oh, no. Kathy's right.
It's a drag show.
Dad at a drag club. Okay.
Well, I just wanted to say
thank you for having me.
Oh.
-To new beginnings.
-Aw. To new beginnings.
-Yes.
-Indeed.
And many more.
-Oh, man.
-Mm-hmm.
Joanne is moving in.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
I didn't realize
we were sharing that.
Oh, wow.
When?
Next month.
I got a crazy offer
on my house.
Just makes sense.
Going to set up
my home office right here.
Where?
The smaller bedroom, upstairs.
Danny's room?
Frank, it's time.
It's time, huh?
Are you kidding me?
That's like--
you can't do that.
Frank, I have to work
through it.
And I-- I can't see
his things all the time.
Mom, I think that's
a really healthy decision.
Well, I think it's shitty.
You don't get to talk to her
that way anymore, Frank.
And I don't really like
that tone. It's bad vibes.
Frank, can I talk to you...
in the other room?
Uh, if you'll all just
excuse me really quickly.
-Babe, are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
I just need a minute.
Just need a minute. Yeah.
Sorry. Excuse me.
-This is--
-Not ideal.
Hmm.
Since when did this become
a let's introduce all
of our significant others
at the same fucking time party?
It's not so bad. Really.
Look me in the eye
and mean that.
I can't.
Dad is...
What the hell
is going on with Dad?
He's suddenly, Mr. Pride Parade?
What the fuck, right?
I can't. I can't take it.
The way he treated Danny
and now like, this?
Mom's letting Joanne move in?
When the hell was
she gonna share that?
They're both
losing their minds.
Look, I-- I'll talk
some sense into them.
I can reason with Mom.
Mom's drunk.
You're lucky I'm not drunk.
I'd say some things I regret.
Please say something
you might regret.
You don't get to comment
on my life anymore.
I wouldn't dream
of saying anything
about your newfound
lesbian lifestyle.
God.
You know what's sad?
Sadder than that Maserati
you used to drive around?
Sadder than that poor
excuse of a ponytail?
Sadder than having to show up
with your young girlfriend?
That you're still doing
self-centered things
when your children need you.
I'm self-centered, huh?
Who called Joanne in,
right, to run defense?
Who dropped
the "Joanne is moving in"
bomb during a toast?
To the weirdest afternoon
I've had in a while.
Salut.
Cheers.
Joanne,
can I guess your sign?
-Sure.
-Okay.
Ooh, I wanna play.
Oh, well you're easy
'cause you're a Libra.
Oh shit.
How did you know?
Because you're--
you're super indecisive
about your drink,
but you're also
very deeply in love.
Libra. Easy.
She's harder.
Harder how?
Oh, because you are
very fiery like a Scorpio,
but you're also
confident like a Leo.
-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.
I kind of think
that you're a Gemini.
You would be correct.
Boom!
Maybe I'm a little bit buzzed,
but I am very impressed.
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
Shocked.
I never would've agreed
to you getting the house
if I knew you were gonna move
your whatever she is right in.
You're lucky
I didn't go after more.
You're living
your bohemian lifestyle
sitting on our life savings.
Don't cry to me
about who got what.
You're letting her use
Danny's room as her office.
You kept his room
like a museum.
You didn't let
anyone touch a thing.
And now it's just
gonna be her office?
I need to change some things.
For me.
Because you're
just over it now?
How dare you.
That is something
I'll never, never get over.
Someone should
check on them.
No. No way.
Absolutely not.
This is how much I love you.
I am going
to wrangle our parents
and keep their asses in check.
Fuck.
Oh, it seems like
a real party in here.
-Oh, your mother and I are--
-Fighting?
Openly during
a casual get together?
Your father's upset
about Danny's room.
Well, it's weird.
I don't know why
anyone would choose
to have their office
in a room
where something awful
like that happened.
Thank you.
I'm not taking
your side by the bye.
It is weird though.
Of course it's fucking weird.
Your son died in there.
I also do not think you
should keep everything
just as it was because--
because we all think
about him all the time
and I--
I don't think you need
such a stark reminder
down the hall, yeah?
Yeah.
I thought we had
agreed to be civil.
-Well, she, uh--
-No, no, no.
None of that.
Whatever's about
to come out of your mouth...
-Sadie--
-Or yours.
I understand this is
very fresh for you both,
to be around one another
with new partners,
but it's happening
so grow the fuck up
and figure out
how to function.
Um, can I say something?
No. Now is the time
when you listen.
I'm all about evolutions
and allowing change,
all that stuff.
But I need you both to know
how hard this is
for me and Kaitlin.
What?
You suddenly being queer
and-- and Dad like being fine
with Kaitlin's partner.
It's, I mean, why could you not
have given Danny that grace?
Going to drag clubs
and being so open after
how you treated him?
That's a hard pill to swallow.
You, neither of you,
were good parents to him.
Sweetheart.
Why didn't you fight
harder for him, Mom?
You had no problem making
space for yourself.
Why didn't you
make it for him?
I should have.
I wish I had.
I'm ashamed
of how I treated him.
I can't change any of it.
Nope.
It's good that you're both...
Change is good.
-Yeah.
-You both needed it.
Now Kaitlin needs you, okay?
She needs you to get
back in there and be nice.
Or nice-ish.
Agreed.
Fine.
Okay. Fine.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Get in there.
Oh, my God. I love today.
It's perfect.
It's perfection.
I love today.
The sun feels good.
Oh, my God.
Do you wanna rent bikes?
Or would that--
would that unfortunately
bring back some really
painful memories for you?
Aw, would you hit me again?
-Maybe.
-Oh.
Oh. My ass hurts just
thinking about it.
Oh, damn, your poor ass.
Oh, it'll never be the same.
Oh, oh.
My life will
never be the same.
That's nice.
-Mm.
-I like that.
I'm actually going in
to see my doc tomorrow.
Just gonna check out your,
uh, your healer's handy work
and I haven't had
a checkup in years.
What? Good.
It's nice to get like
a clean bill of health.
Yeah.
-Oh.
-Oh!
Oh, my God. He's so cute.
Fuck. I love that age.
You're gonna be
a great mother.
Thank you.
-I don't think we should--
-Don't finish that thought.
But I should.
I think we should be
honest with each other.
Okay. Okay.
You may not realize it now,
Autumn, but you will.
At some point you'll realize
that I can't give you
what you really want.
Yeah, but maybe you're
gonna change your mind.
I can't.
What about if what
feels good right now
is good enough for right now?
Yeah.
That's how I've lived
my whole life.
I don't recommend it.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Are you breaking up with me?
No, no, no, no.
I don't know what
I'm doing, okay?
But I...
but I know this isn't going
to turn out like either
of us want it to.
Ah.
I know that. I know.
But can we just
not do that today?
Can we just have a perfect day?
What's...
are you okay?
No.
Okay. Well-- well come--
come-- come sit.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
Sorry I came here.
I-- just nowhere else to go.
What the hell is going on?
You know when something
really awful happens?
You just need to--
you need to find someone
who really knows you.
What happened?
You're my person, Kathy.
-You know me.
-Are you okay? Out with it.
I'm sick.
My prostate.
-Oh, boy.
-Yeah.
Is it treatable?
Yes.
And what are your odds?
Really good.
They caught it early.
Oh, come on. Jesus.
Why the hell are you
scaring me with this?
I mean, here I am thinking
you're a dead man walking.
Well, it's still serious.
Yeah, but it's not
that serious.
Well, it's not like I have
a cold or something.
I mean, they're going
to block my testosterone.
Are, are we feeling
a certain way
about our pee-pee
not working as good?
Don't call it a pee-pee.
Oh, my God.
-You want a beer?
-Yeah.
You have to tell the girls.
You know that, right?
Yes.
Does it hurt?
No.
Well, that's good.
I'm really scared.
Well, it is scary.
Can't you just tell me
it's all gonna be okay?
Do I look like a doctor?
You look beautiful.
Mm. Oh, you're a smoothie.
You're probably going
to be okay, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Um, how's Joanne?
She's great.
She's an exceptional human.
We decided to sell the house.
I was gonna tell you.
Wow.
It's time. Yeah.
Probably was time
five years ago.
Wow.
You are not allowed
to die on me, Frankie.
You understand?
Still soft on me?
I'll always love you.
Well where is the lovely
and way too young Miss Autumn?
Oh, we broke things up.
Mm.
Oh, so sorry to hear that.
Yeah. She wanted kids.
-And I'm, uh--
-Old.
Yes.
She was very... sweet.
You wanted to hit me
with young again.
I did.
Hey.
Thank you.
For being kind.
You're welcome.
I love you too, Kath.
Oh, I know.
No, no, don't do it yet.
I-I have to...
-I didn't do anything yet.
-I'll miss you, Pony.
-Hey.
-I won't.
-It's okay.
-Oh, no.
No. Oh, oh, oh.
Ah!
Oh, no.
Oh, should we keep it?
-Yeah.
-A memento.
-We should burn it.
-Hey!
-Oh, boy.
-What?
-No.
-Wha--
-It's not that bad.
-Not that bad?
-Uh, I'll fix it.
-You'll fix what? My hair?
It's not that bad, Dad.
How are you feeling, Daddy?
You know, tired as hell.
You look good.
Yeah. Well, that's
all that really matters.
I hate that this is happening.
Hey, we've been
through worse, right?
Yeah.
We got through the worst
of it, right?
I'll be all right.
-You better.
-Yeah.
I will.
I'm taking this.
-No, it's--
-You got to throw it out.
-Nope, nope, nope, mine.
-It's wet now.
-No. It's weird.
-It's my pony.
Okay? Mine.
He lives.
He looks like shit,
but he's living.
Can't keep a good man down.
I said nothing about
you being a good man.
Yeah. That's fair.
Oh, it's been ages
since you let me steal
some of your drugs.
Mm. Has been.
You take that job?
Well, I took a job,
but not that job.
I'm teaching.
-Nice.
-It is nice.
And plus
the insurance is great.
You know, it's...
Ah, I'm a little sick.
What's that mean?
Uh, prostate stuff.
Nah.
You'll be fine.
Yeah, I'll be fine, eh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know I beat breast cancer.
Way harder.
Well, not that
it's a competition.
Yeah.
But if were, I'd win.
Hmm.
Well, I should...
Can I walk with you?
Pardon?
We've been talking on
this bench for weeks.
I thought it might be nice
to take a walk together.
Walk together?
Walk together.
Yeah.
Okay.
How about this way?
Okay.
Oh, ho, ho.
Oh.
-Oh.
-Geez.
Sunsets are so overrated,
don't you think?
I do?
Yeah. Yeah.
Sunrise, much more beautiful.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are we making small talk?
You wanna talk
about the weather?
-No.
-Good.
Because life is too short
for fucking small talk.
Okay. All right.