R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned (2022) Movie Script
1
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
I know you ain't done yet.
You say you're all used up,
but I know you still
got some gold left in ya.
(HORSE WHINNIES)
(GRUNTS)
(RUMBLING)
(YELPS)
(RUMBLING STOPS)
(YELLS)
What in far nation...
(GRUNTS, YELLS)
(WIND BLOWS)
(BELLS TOLLING)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
MAN: Howdy, Sheriff.
(MIMICKING GUNSHOTS)
Uh-oh! You got me.
Morning.
CHARLOTTE: Daddy!
Look at you, sweetheart!
All bright and shiny,
like a living doll.
Give us a twirl.
Whoo!
Is this the wedding dress?
Can I have a sneak peek?
Don't be a cheat, Daddy.
You'll get a full preview
on our big day.
ANGUS: Very soon now.
Can you at least try
and make an effort?
Angus, I see you made
the return trip as well.
A wedding generally
is between a woman
and a man, Sheriff Pulsipher.
Yes it is,
and I can't wait
to meet that young man.
Okay, Daddy.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Listen to me.
In five days,
Angus will be
a part of this family
whether you like it or not.
What I'd like to see
is he's man enough
to take over the reins
in protecting you.
I mean, is he any good
with a barking iron?
I want a husband, Daddy.
Not a bodyguard.
You've taught me
how to take
good enough care of myself.
He's taught me how to dissect
the words of Dostoyevsky
and he's introduced me
to Dickens and Poe...
You're not even married yet,
and you're already
meeting with lawyers?
Daddy, stop it.
Angus is a good soul who does
make me feel safe and secure,
but most of all, happy.
You're just afraid
you won't be the number one
man in my life anymore.
You got him well-trained,
Charlotte, that's for sure.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I'm right here.
(GUNSHOTS)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Inside.
ZEKE: Go get 'em, boys!
Round them up!
ROY: It's the Samuels.
(GRUNTING)
Hurry it up, ladies.
I ain't got all day.
Anybody other than me
comes through those doors,
you shoot 'em.
ZEKE: Move it, move it!
Move it!
Daddy? Angus.
How happy does
he really make you?
Daddy, go!
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
You can come out now.
Go, go!
Move it!
MAN: Come on, let's go.
Keep moving!
SLIM: First time
I made it on a poster.
Hey! I'm handsome!
(LAUGHS)
(GUNSHOT)
Hands up!
Come here.
Stay down. Go!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS, BODY THUDS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
(RETCHES, VOMITS)
(SPITS)
Don't mind.
Happens to everyone.
It's a crazy ride
getting here.
See?
(VOMITS)
I just saw the most...
HANO: Beautiful,
bright light you ever did see?
That'd be Heaven.
Heading towards it
is a good sign
for your future.
But you haven't
made it there yet.
Hold on!
Hold your damn horses.
Did you say Heaven?
I've read your file, Roy.
I know everything about you
and none of it says
you're hard of hearing.
I'm dead?
Mmm-hmm.
Charlotte? What about
my daughter, Charlotte?
Uh, hmm... Negative.
She's dead.
She's dead. (SOBS)
No, no. Negative is positive.
Negative means "not dead."
Negative means "not dead"?
That is very confusing.
Change that.
But good.
She's got her wedding
at the end of the week.
It's in two days, actually.
ROY: Come again?
You've been dead
for three days.
It takes a while
for upstairs
to ratify judgement
and send a soul
to where it belongs.
You got sent to us.
Welcome to the RIPD.
The "RIP..." what?
Stands for "department."
The "RIP" is your standard
"Rest in Peace."
I'm the captain
of the West American
division.
Name's Hano.
See, we generally
only get soldiers,
warriors and sheriffs
who dearly depart
shuffled in here to us.
At least the ones
deemed worthy enough
to serve on God's own police
force in the ongoing fight
against the deados.
The what-os?
The deados.
Souls that escape
their judgment
and hang around Earth
like the bad smell they are.
Our job is to find them
and send them to where
their ticket got punched.
Hmm?
Hell, Roy.
We send them to Hell.
Heaven and Hell?
Whoo!
(HANO CHUCKLES)
ROY: So these souls
that escape their
judgement in Hell
are what you call "deados."
Not yet. A soul,
by its very definition,
is a spectral energy.
Disembodied, it's ineffectual.
To sow the havoc a rogue soul
desires it needs a body.
Wait. A human body?
Exactly.
And once it takes one over,
possesses it, if you will,
then it becomes a problem.
Our problem.
It becomes a deado.
The more deados on Earth,
the more unbalanced
the natural order,
threatening all human life.
I think you're really
gonna like this.
Whoo-wee.
It's quite an impressive candy
store you got here.
(HANO CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
ROY: Oh, hello.
Ain't you purdy.
That's a very nice choice.
Oh... No, no, no.
I can't be unfaithful.
When it comes
to what I wear on my hip,
I'm a one-gun man.
Nothing comes between me
and my Susie.
That's my gun.
I call her Susie.
I call her useless.
Especially against deados.
It'll stun them for a moment
or two, kind of like
a nasty snake bite.
This, however,
more than does the job.
With a head shot,
these bullets can exterminate
a deado's soul.
And your own,
should the barrel
end up being pointed
in your direction.
Whoa. Good to know.
What's with the,
uh, hungry snake?
The Uroboros
signifies life,
death and rebirth.
Deados may look
like real humans,
but after possession,
that symbol is branded
on their torso.
This is a reminder
to all officers
of the constant threat
we're up against.
Right. Cut to the chase.
Why am I here?
Roy, do you remember
that total eclipse
about a month ago?
Well, there was an abnormal
rupture at a gateway
near Red Creek,
an old mining town in Utah.
"Abnormal,"
because it registered
with us as a kind of
hellish discharge.
I know an old quack
back at home
who has a remedy
for "hellish discharges,"
if you know what I mean.
Duly noted, but not
what we're looking for.
You, however,
know that terrain
better than most.
You sign up,
we'll get you back
to Earth right away
to check it all out.
Now, that's a carrot
worth the dangle.
If I get to go back to Earth,
sign me up and count me in!
I know what's going on
in that noggin of yours, Roy.
Everyone in your position
thinks the same thing.
But revenge for your murder
is not the mission.
Getting to Red Creek is.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
You're a dead man.
Nothing we can do
can change that.
Now, before you read and sign,
you should know
the standard service term...
I already said I'm in.
Let's seal the deal.
(SPITS)
Oh.
Send me back.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(SPITS)
(GROANS)
(SIZZLING)
You branded me
like a damn steer.
Moo.
Now giddy up, cowboy.
It's time to move.
(THUDS)
Oh! Watch the bread box.
Sorry. People got taller
over time.
We'd like to replace it
but, you know,
budgetary constraints.
The clock's ticking, Roy.
In two days,
a blood moon will rise.
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
And in the Bible,
when that follows
a blue moon eclipse,
it can only mean one thing.
A hoot of a time
for astronomers?
The end of times.
Hmm.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(RETCHES)
(VOMITS)
What the...
Oh, fancy.
(RUMBLING)
(RUMBLING STOPS)
(EXHALES IN RELIEF)
(GRUNTS)
(BODY THUDS)
Ow.
JEANNE: That's the good thing
about dying.
It can only happen once.
You must be Sheriff Pulsipher.
In all my glory.
I have seen glory
and I don't think you are it.
Just who might you be?
JEANNE: Jeanne.
The name is Jeanne.
ROY: Listen, Jane,
I don't do partners.
Hano charged me
with looking after you,
and I don't go against orders.
I don't need
no looking after.
And I don't need
a fourth partner.
Four partners?
Where are your other three?
Everywhere.
The Father, Son
and the Holy Ghost.
Oh.
Yeah, those three
gun stingers?
They don't come in real handy
when you need backup
in fire fight.
I don't need backup with a gun
when I'm unbeatable
with a sword.
Let's make one thing clear.
I got seniority
in this here arrangement.
I got at least 20 years on ya.
If we were alive.
But you have been dead
for three days.
Me?
162,425.
Or 445 years.
How senior do you feel now?
Hell with this. Hee-ya!
(HORSE WHINNIES)
ZEKE: I ain't gonna
ask you again.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
I said, get in line.
Come on now, Daddy.
BANK MANAGER:
No need to hurt me.
I mean, us.
I'll get you all
what I have in the safe.
We ain't here for your money.
This is a bank.
What else do you want?
Them.
Yeah, we want people.
You got any of them
in your safe?
'Cause, we'll take 'em all.
Oh!
(BULLET WHIZZES)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
SLIM: I'm sorry about that.
You're the sorriest
son-of-a-bitch we ever had
the misfortune
of getting stuck with.
The law is coming.
God damn, they brought
the whole cavalry this time.
You three stay here.
Hold them off.
Catch back up with us later.
Got it.
Damn it!
Hee-ya!
(SNIFFLES)
Oh.
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
JEANNE:
You don't need a partner,
and I don't need
a stray dog, Roy.
Now let's go.
You're not gonna stop me
from seeing my daughter.
Now, listen.
(GRUNTS)
That was unexpected.
You know,
I've never hit a woman.
But you come between me
and my Charlotte,
there's gonna be hell to pay.
Faster than when
you were alive, huh?
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
I can't let you go see her.
Why not?
Because you...
...aren't you anymore.
So this is me now?
To everyone
on Earth, anyway.
(GASPS)
You always said I needed
to be more in touch
with my feminine side, Millie.
If you could only see me now.
Breaks my heart, my daughter
will never know me again.
The RIPD gave you
a second chance
to restore order to the world.
Not your old life.
That's why we don't return
as ourselves.
It would be too confusing
for anyone who knew us.
This is 1876 America.
If you haven't noticed,
folks around these parts
ain't too broad-minded.
Few people
are gonna talk to us,
let alone even listen to us,
looking the way we do.
Why do that?
Make our job
that much harder?
Maybe the eternal one
thought you could learn
a thing or two.
Walking in shoes
of those deemed
less advantaged.
Come on, now.
I have learned plenty.
My best friend is Black.
And my daughter is a woman.
Just because you know them,
does not mean you understand
what it's like to be them.
We'll say we're sisters.
Bounty hunters.
That should
get us some respect.
I can't believe
that this here body
is right there, buried,
under my feet.
Well...
Well what?
It's true that part of you
was buried under there.
Part of me?
The parts they could find.
After you were shot.
I think buried here
is a foot, a shoulder,
your ear, maybe, and your...
My ass?
Yes.
They found your ass, too.
Where is the rest of me?
In a cave, apparently.
Some coyotes
got to you, Roy.
Some coyotes?
They were hungry,
and you were dead.
Hungry coyotes.
I heard they had
some small babies.
Small, hungry,
baby coyotes.
So, you helped them survive.
It's a beautiful thing,
to be a part
of the food chain.
Shut up.
Circle of life...
Stop. Stop talking.
Where are you going, Roy?
My skin might have changed,
but my heart and soul
are still the same.
I know I can make
my daughter recognize me.
You can't communicate
with loved ones
anymore either.
Anything you say to her
will only come out
as an incoherent gibberish.
So, not only will my daughter
not recognize me,
she won't understand a lick
of what I'm saying, either?
This is some bullshit.
(ROY GRUNTS, EXCLAIMS)
(HENRY HUMMING SOFTLY)
I know exactly
how you feel, ma'am.
I understand your pain.
It's good
to let it all out.
You've come
to pay your respects to
the late Sheriff, too, then?
I can't say
I've seen you ladies
around these parts before.
Do you know this man?
That is Henry.
My friend I was talking about.
We've known each other
since we were knee-high.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SHUSHES)
Name's Matilde, Father.
And this here
is my mute sister,
Mabel.
We only met
the Sheriff once.
He, uh, helped us
with our broken down wagon.
I must admit,
I didn't take
much of a shine to him,
nor him to me.
In fact, he seemed quite
self-absorbed, if you ask me.
The kind of man
that wanted to control
every situation he was in
no matter how
out of his depth
he truly was.
But Mabel, well,
she seemed to think
he was something
really special.
Well, we're all entitled
to our own points of view,
I guess.
But I may have to side
with Miss Mabel
over here on this one.
That man was special.
Far from perfect, of course.
But, special nonetheless.
I mean, was he a little
arrogant?
No doubt.
Did he think that
he had the answers
before the questions
were even asked?
That was Roy, to a tee.
(LAUGHS)
Pigheaded? Ha!
Stubborn as an ornery mule,
more like it.
Boy, was Roy loyal.
To his family,
this town, to me.
There is no one
you wanted more
to have your back.
Makes me wonder how
we're gonna stand on our own
two feet without him.
Especially against the evil
likes of them Samuels
that did Roy in
and took poor
Charlotte's fiance,
amongst others.
Least they caught
three of them five reprobates
holding up a bank today.
Federal Marshals will be
transferring them to Laramie.
It's the hangman's noose
for them boys now.
Mmm-mmm. No, no.
They are moving
them to Laramie.
They gotta pass through
Snake Gully and that's where
we'll hit them.
No.
I have indulged
your little identity crisis.
But we must get to Red Creek.
Didn't you hear Henry?
The Samuels took Angus.
And that is an issue
for the Earthly
authorities to solve,
not us.
Gateways, portals, deados.
That is your jurisdiction now,
Officer.
Out of my way.
The world could be at stake
and you care only about
saving one man.
Not just any man.
The man that makes my daughter
the happiest in the world.
And for me,
my daughter is my world.
Was your world.
You are dead.
You'll get used to using
the past tense.
Hey, Jenny,
would you go walk
around on my grave?
With pleasure.
Wait, why?
'Cause if you're gonna be
such a pain in my ass,
you might as well
be standing on it!
Goodbye, Mabel.
Take good care now.
Right. Mabel.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
MARSHAL: Settle down
back there, boys.
Settle down.
Stubborn as
an ornery mule.
Well, if that isn't
the understatement
of my many years
of after-life service.
How you feel
about me is nothing
compared to my disposition
for those Samuel brothers.
The damndest thing,
not too long ago,
those boys were good
and God-fearing.
Then just like that...
Bad. Turned.
Rotten to the core.
Old Doris Samuel said
her four boys
and adopted son, Slim,
went out to work an old well
one day on their farm,
and came back that night
a crazy bunch of no-goods.
She always said it was like,
they weren't her boys no more.
Also, Henry said
three of the five Samuels
were caught.
There should have been
only four left.
I pegged their leader, Zeke,
before I was killed.
Nobody could have
survived that shot.
Maybe you're not
the sharp shot you thought
you were, Annie Oakley.
I can shoot the sting
off a hornet from 50 feet.
JEANNE: Your humility
is a virtue to behold.
ROY: Thank you.
MARSHAL: Hoo!
Here they come.
Told you they'd pass this way.
MARSHAL: Make it quick.
Now's our chance.
Go!
Don't you worry none, fellas.
We'll be getting you to that
judge soon enough.
Just your exploits in this
region alone will see you
swinging by Sunday.
(URINATING)
Sure you don't wanna go?
It's a great spot.
I feel light as a feather.
What are you doing?
We got the element
of surprise!
Look.
Holy shit!
The Uroboros!
JEANNE: You may not be
such a bad shot
after all, Roy.
But you couldn't have killed
that which was already dead.
Doris Samuels didn't think
her sons came home that night
because they didn't.
Rogue souls that escaped
judgement must have
been hiding in that well.
And possessed the brothers
and made them deados.
And this just
became our jurisdiction.
Help! Help me, misters!
Please.
It's my sister!
She's hurt real bad.
She's a bit slow, you see,
and doesn't have
a keen sense of direction.
Fact, she don't much
have a keen sense of anything
at all right now,
truth be told.
She slipped from the top
of the canyon.
Banged herself up real good.
MARSHAL: Now,
you hold it right there.
We do not have the time
nor the disposition
to help the likes of you.
Guess you don't have
the disposition
for no Morgan silver
then neither.
Hey, fellas.
See if you can help
the little lady out.
JEANNE: Okay, then.
Thank you.
You're real saints.
(GRUNTS)
MARSHAL: Hey fellas,
we gotta go.
Leave 'em to die
if you have to.
Just make sure
you grab the silver.
Fellas?
(GRUNTING)
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Whoa!
I got her! I got her!
You go check!
Yeah, you got her.
That's for damn sure.
But I can't see
no bullet hole.
Boo!
(MARSHAL 2 SCREAMS)
JEANNE: Hey, Marshal.
Still want that silver?
(GRUNTS)
ROY: That's the thing
about dying,
it can only happen once.
Ow. Just like a snake bite.
(SAMUELS LAUGHING)
Damn strong lock.
(STRAINING)
Search him again!
I'm telling you,
the key must have got lost
while you were busy assaulting
us US Federal Marshals.
No! These ain't mine!
Oh, God!
So what now?
We're gonna have
to pop one of them.
Pop what now?
Hmm?
ROY: You gonna partake
in a little moonshine
with our captives?
This isn't moonshine.
But for deados,
something far more torturous.
(GROWLING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
Once popped,
he's got to be stopped.
(GROWLING, SCREECHING)
(GRUNTS)
What the...
Holy shit.
No, water.
Blessed by the Almighty.
Once they've possessed
a human, deados hate
revealing their true selves.
The pain is unbearable.
Holy water speeds up
the process.
Uh, where are the other two?
Oh, there's one.
JEANNE: Like I said,
in a gunfight,
all I need is my sword.
Let's go, deado filth.
(MUFFLED YELPS)
Son of a...
What?
What?
Don't you "what, what"
me, boy.
You was the one that sent me
to the bone orchard
with a slug to the back
of the skull, ya damn coward!
Ma'am!
I've no idea who you are!
He doesn't recognize you,
Roycephus.
(CHUCKLES) Roycephus?
Her name is Roycephus?
Oh!
I saw it on your tombstone.
It is a pretty funny name.
Is it Roman?
It means noble and kind!
Neither of which
I'm feeling at the moment,
as I stare into the eyes
of my murderer.
No! Whoa, whoa.
Slow down!
Now I know
Sheriff Pulsipher was shot
near the train that day,
but I've no idea who did it.
You did it!
It was you!
You shot me
from inside the train!
Nah, that bill
is a load of bosh.
Someone's trying to frame me!
Okay.
Cool, cool, so clearly,
you can't see our true selves.
But can you see
these weapons?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, I see them.
Good, 'cause this pistol
is the last thing
you're ever gonna see!
Adios, deados!
No. What about
getting him to talk?
Think about your daughter.
About Angus.
They're the reason
we're here, right?
God damn it!
What did you do
with the people
from the train?
Eat a horn toad!
Ah...
Oh, boy.
Mmm-hmm.
(YELPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
Come on out!
Any more, and he'll pop.
I'll talk. Please!
ROY: Go on, then. Talk.
SLIM: Okay. Okay, okay.
There's this deado.
The worst I've ever seen.
Goes by the name Otis.
Otis Claiborne.
And he ain't like most deados.
He's more powerful.
He forced me
and the souls that took over
the other Samuels
to kidnap people
and deliver them to Red Creek.
Red Creek?
As in Red Creek,
Utah?
SLIM: Yeah.
Maybe this little diversion
wasn't a waste of time,
after all.
And how long
you been rounding
up folks for this Otis'?
About a month.
Since he showed up.
That's around the same time
as the gateway rupture.
You reckon this Otis could be
the "hellish discharge"
Hano was on about?
Souls can escape
on their way into Hell
but none have ever
gotten back out.
What business does this Otis
have with the kidnapped folk?
He's locking them up.
Keeping them healthy.
He's got something
big planned. That's for sure.
And it's goin' down soon.
That's all I know!
Means Angus
might still be alive.
Look, we was just trying
to lay low from you RIPD.
But Otis has a real
scary way about him.
I ain't proud of what I done,
but he threatened
to wipe us all out
if we didn't help.
And how exactly
was he going to do that?
Deados can't wipe out
other deados.
With one of those, they can.
Now why would this
Otis fella have himself
an RIPD equalizer?
I don't know.
But it's not good.
We need to get to Red Creek.
Ow!
(SIGHS WEARILY)
(DOOR OPENS)
That deado crew
has returned.
But they only brought back
eight more.
I'll get them to do
one last run
before midnight.
Their leader
said they're done.
For good this time.
Seems they want out
before any RIPD
start moving in.
Is that so?
What else did he say?
He doesn't think we should all
be following you with such...
...blind faith.
They are questioning
your origins.
Who you say you really are.
And you?
Do you doubt who I say I am?
It's just...
They're questioning
how you got out.
(CHUCKLES)
As one of the three,
I had the freedom
to roam all circles
of the underworld.
I escaped through limbo
during that full moon eclipse
when a fragment of
the gateway grew weak.
Now, tonight's blood moon
completes a tetradic
lunar cycle,
making the entire gateway
weak and vulnerable
at midnight.
That's when we put
the humans to work.
It gives them
six hours to toil
until the gateway strengthens
again at dawn,
making it impossible
to penetrate once more.
This is why we need
as many hands as we can get.
Because if they fail...
...it will be another
quarter of a century
before the gateway
is at its weakest once again.
I was tired of fighting
for control down below.
I escaped to rule
over my own dominion
here on Earth.
I can barely wait a few hours,
let alone a quarter
of a century.
Now you tell me.
Do I also have to fight
for your belief
in me as well?
No, I'm with you.
I am.
I believe you can deliver us
Hell on Earth.
But...
But what?
I can no longer speak
for the others.
Well, let's go open
everyone's eyes, then.
If you're gonna
put faith in me,
I no longer
want it to be blind.
Hmm.
ROY: Are you sure we can't
just pop this dead weight?
He's holding us back.
JEANNE:
Execution is not RIPD policy.
Once we're done,
Hano will have him
redirected back to Hell.
His fate has already
been sealed.
Just put me on the back
of the horse, Miss Horciphus.
We'll get there
much quicker.
I'll hold on
to you real tight.
I promise.
We'll keep each other
nice and toasty, huh?
What do you say? (GRUNTS)
ROY: I'll give him
a fighting chance.
Ten seconds start.
He did kill me, after all.
JEANNE: "The best revenge
is to be unlike him
who caused the injury."
ROY: You quoting
the Bible on me now?
JEANNE: No.
Marcus Aurelius said that.
Like you, he was a Roman, too.
Roycephus ain't Roman.
It's a family name.
JEANNE: Okay. I got it.
Message received.
Don't you mean "Roy-ceiphed"?
Message "Roy-ceiphed."
(CHUCKLES) Get it?
'Cause your name
is Royceph...
Oh! Here come the snake bites.
Snake what?
Ow! Ow!
I'm sorry, okay? Damn!
I'm gonna file a complaint
when you take me in.
(GROANS)
Speaking of fate,
I gotta thank you.
For, uh, saving my life
back at the canyon.
He had me dead to rights.
That wasn't easy for you,
was it?
Admitting you can't
do it alone.
I'm not admitting anything,
I'm just saying thanks
for having my back.
Don't make this awkward.
You're welcome.
But it wasn't your life
that I saved back there.
But something
far more important.
Your soul.
So tell me,
your dearly departed Millie,
do you think she ended
"up" or "down"?
Well seeing how
I was heading to
the pearly gates,
that damn fine woman probably
has a seat in the front row.
Hmm.
Looking forward
to joining her.
Hopefully,
she is waiting for you.
Oh, hey!
What's that now?
Oh, nothing.
It's just...
It's just what?
It's just there are
a lot of good men in heaven.
Very good men.
Good looking, so I hear.
Maybe she moved on.
They can do that?
Yeah.
ROY AND SLIM: Damn!
I thought when I died,
Millie and I would be
together for eternity.
Eternity?
Together with you, Roy?
No, no, no, no.
That would be more like Hell
for poor Millie.
Don't you think?
Yeah, it would. It would.
(LAUGHS)
What are you laughing at?
What?
I'm just breaking your noix.
Breaking my what?
Your, uh, this,
only for boys.
Breaking my nuts?
Yes.
You were breaking
my nuts?
Uh-huh. (LAUGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
That was a good one.
Yes!
Oh, you got me.
I got you.
Yeah.
You got me, too.
Man, she's funny.
Weird, but funny.
(CHUCKLES)
I'll shut up now.
Message Roy-ceiphed.
I mean received. Aw, shit.
Ow! (YELLS)
(ROY AND JEANNE LAUGH)
I heard this was all
you could muster.
ZEKE: Word's getting around
about our kidnappings,
so it's rare
to find anybody gathering
around here at all.
Our last two scores
had to be over the border.
Like I said,
we're done here now.
(LAUGHS)
You really don't wanna
stay and be a part
of the foundation
that creates
a new world order?
You don't wanna witness
something truly biblical?
What a shame
you have no faith in me.
Because when I lead our kind
in Earth's great takeover,
you could have had
a seat at the main table.
(SQUELCHING)
(YELLS)
(SCREECHING)
(DISTORTED) Look at me!
Open your eyes.
I said, open your eyes!
(SCREECHING)
And believe!
How do you feel about staying?
Go help the others.
I want these new ones
masked up,
watered and fed.
I need them all fit
for the work ahead.
(WOMAN WHIMPERING)
You think anyone
doubts who I am now?
(WOMAN SHRIEKING)
Let's play a game called
"When we were alive."
So, when you were alive,
what'd you prefer?
Whiskey or gin?
Dresses or tights?
Chicken or steak?
You know what to do.
Come again?
(GRUNTS)
Ow!
It's actually
starting to tickle.
(CHUCKLES)
Damn it!
The waltz or tango?
(EXCLAIMS)
Coffee or tea?
Saloons or brothels?
Sunrise or sunset?
Long hair, short hair?
Missionary
or doggy-style?
Oh! Ah!
I'm starting to like that.
Are we there yet?
JEANNE: "The sun
will turn into darkness,
"and the moon into blood,
"before the great
and terrible day comes."
ROY: Guessing that's not
Marcus Aurelius?
JEANNE: The Book of Joel.
The sentiment is echoed
in Acts and Revelations,
signifying...
The beginning
of the end of times?
Yeah, Hano sent me
back to Earth
with that same cheery note.
Just over that ridge
is Red Creek.
I'd turn back if I were you.
(GRUNTS)
Here are the rules.
You open that rancid pie hole
of yours and you tell anyone
who we really are,
you eat one
of these bullets.
Mmm-hmm.
You even imply
that we're RIPD...
You eat one of these
here bullets.
In fact you speak without me
allowing you to speak...
I eat one of them
there bullets?
You're not as dumb
as you look.
You so damn ugly.
Good idea.
We don't want anyone
recognizing we have him.
Yeah. That's why I did it.
SLIM: What's that smell?
Two Black women
are pulling a hooded man
through town
with a rope and no one
bats an eyelid?
They seem too ill
to notice anything.
Yeah, I wonder
what's ailing them.
Cholera hit Blackpool
a few months back.
You hear that?
JEANNE: I hear nothing.
Exactly.
Just when you think things
couldn't get any stranger...
An empty saloon.
Whatever happened here,
happened in a hurry.
(BOYS COUGHING)
Boys, where is everyone?
That's right! Pile it all up.
Come on, keep it moving now.
Come on. There you go.
All your donations
are going to a damn
fine cause,
I assure you, so...
Keep those heads up
and have another
blessed eve...
Who's the snake oil salesman?
JULIUS: ...in the good Lord's
favorite town!
SLIM: Ah, Julius Butterfield.
He owns the saloon,
livery stables, general store,
the local printing press
and the hotel.
Oh, yeah.
He's also the mayor.
Seems like a fair election.
(BELL RINGING)
JULIUS: Okay, I got you.
I got you. (COUGHS)
Forgive my tardiness.
There are days
I need at least five of me
to get all I need...
...done.
Oh, no, no, no.
You...
You're gonna have to leave.
You should not be in here.
Sure, we should!
We're bounty hunters.
Sisters. All the way
from Bandera, Texas.
We require lodgings.
And this is a hotel.
He your bounty then?
You're not as dumb
as you look.
Well, maybe you both are...
...because it appears
that you can't read.
Now leave.
You're breaking the law.
Just 'cause it's a law,
don't make it right.
I'm gonna ask you
to take that down.
Just as soon
as I get that chance.
Burn it.
You don't tell me
what to do.
Now.
Right.
You're right.
Capitalism is colorblind.
And being more open
means making
more money, after all.
So...
Thank you.
All right.
(MUFFLED CLAMORING)
You all right?
Beverly!
Yes, sir!
(CHUCKLES)
What's all that
"sir" nonsense?
I told you it's just
plain old "Julius" to you
and everyone else.
We're all one and the same
around here.
Now, Beverly would you
please be so kind
as to show our guests here
to room 5?
Thank you.
Enjoy your stay.
Follow me, ladies.
Pardon my asking,
but I recognize the birthmark
on the arm of your bounty.
He and his posse have been
in and out of town
a few times of late.
Mind if I enquire
what you got him for?
Killing a US Marshal.
SLIM: I told you,
I ain't kill no...
(GROANS)
But don't you worry none,
Miss Beverly.
We're gonna keep
a real close
eye on him.
I ain't afraid of him.
His partners were plain nasty.
But he was, uh, nice.
SLIM: Yes, thank you.
Come on in.
I hope it has everything
you need.
JEANNE: Excuse my own
inquisitiveness,
Miss Beverly,
but what ails the town?
Oh...
No one knows for sure.
Started about a month ago.
Mr. Butterfield says
it has to do with
the water supply.
But between you and me
and the bedpost,
I think that's just a ploy
for him to sell more whiskey.
To who?
There ain't barely
anyone around.
Oh. Town emptied out
dead of last night.
Mr. Butterfield says gold
was struck not far away.
Seems everyone
must want a piece
before there's nothing left.
If that was the case,
I reckon old Butterfield
would have been the first
to break ground.
Do you really
believe him?
I don't have much of a choice.
Pardon me.
I suggest you keep
your door locked.
SLIM: You heard her.
She said I'm nice.
She ain't well.
Confusing you
with someone else.
I mean,
can a deado be nice?
Not in my extended
experience.
SLIM: Well, look who's
discriminating now.
There must be
something in the air
making everybody sick.
That's why it's not affecting
any of us. In other words,
the dead.
And I think...
It's coming from up there.
SLIM: Hmm? Up where?
(GROANS)
GIRL: Daddy! Daddy!
Stay with me!
Stay with me!
Don't, don't!
Don't, don't!
Please! I've got
to revive my daddy.
Please...
No, no, no.
Look, he's still with us.
Just let him rest.
Listen, lady. Up here,
if you take off that mask,
you will die.
And fast.
How do you know?
I've seen it happen.
(ANGUS GASPING, WHEEZING)
(COUGHING)
GIRL: Okay! Stop it!
You've made your point.
Okay!
(PANTING)
What do they want
with us all?
I don't know.
I have a feeling
that we'll come
to understand real soon.
MAN: What are you looking at?
(COUGHING)
(COUGHING)
God damn it!
OTIS: You gotta get
all the equipment
up to the mine.
There's no time to waste.
We start opening the gateway
in less than an hour.
(COUGHING)
What do you want,
Butterfield?
Listen. Otis.
I've done everything
asked of me so far,
haven't I?
You did try and run away
from me a few days ago,
remember?
Okay, okay,
but since then,
I couldn't have been
more accommodating
to your needs,
no matter how felonious
or demanding.
But, please.
I'm begging you.
All I want in return
is one of these.
I told you they're
for workers only.
Are you gonna be one?
I told you,
I got a town to run.
You don't have
much of one left.
Because you've taken everyone!
No! Please!
No, no, no. Please.
Please!
A couple of healthy ones
just checked into the hotel.
Take them, too.
Just give me a mask.
I don't wanna die.
Death is not so bad.
In fact, sometimes
it's the beginning
of a whole new kind of life.
I mean, look at us,
we can breathe all kinds
of toxic air that you can't
in your current form.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
And didn't I promise your body
the same sort of rebirth
if you just showed us a little
cooperation and hospitality?
And I have.
I've done everything.
I just... I just want
my town back.
Tomorrow is the dawn
of a new day for you.
And all mankind.
Go on.
Take it.
It's yours.
(COUGHS)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What are you all even doing
up that mountain anyways?
Well now that
you have that mask on,
you're gonna find out.
JULIUS: Otis, please!
Otis!
Otis!
MAN: Get back.
Ugh. Damn!
Smelt like a horse's
ding-dong under there
You would know. Where is...
...Otis keeping
the kidnappees?
We delivered them
to the church.
That's all I know. Promise.
Ow. What are you doing?
I can help!
Nice try hoss.
You're staying put.
You got looser lips
than a jaw less mule.
You're gonna stay
right here.
Come on!
That is tight as a bull's ass
in fly season.
Look, give me a chance
to prove myself!
Please. I don't wanna
go to Hell.
Nothing we can do
about that now.
I didn't do nothing that bad
when I was alive.
Clearly, you did enough.
I mean, I stole some stuff.
Just some?
Okay, a little more than some.
A lot. I stole a lot of stuff.
In fact, I was called
"Bumble,"
on account of my hands
were stickier than a beehive.
See?
Hey! That's my new Susie!
You call your gun "Susie"?
Yeah, named it after
my dear old Meemaw.
You named a soul killer
after your grandma
and I'm the twisted one?
You should be going to Hell,
not... My point is,
I could have blown
both your souls
to dust just now.
But I didn't.
'Cause I want you to know
you can trust me.
Stealing ain't right,
I know that.
But it ain't nothing
compared to them souls
that took over
the other Samuel boys.
You heard Beverly, them deados
are meaner than cut snakes.
And I ain't like them.
You think it's fair that
we all get judged to end up
in the same awful place?
Psst, psst.
What is it?
Is there a chance
that old Slim,
the real Slim,
a little part of him
is still in there?
No. Slim is long gone.
This "Bumble" soul
is in complete control now.
And he's playing you, Roy.
Deados will do anything
to avoid going to Hell.
Don't be fooled.
Now let's go.
SLIM: I don't wanna
go to Hell.
I don't belong there!
Please!
Let me prove it to you.
I can prove it to you, please.
I said, let's go, Roy.
SLIM: Please!
Please! Please come back!
(WAILING)
I don't wanna go to Hell!
Please! I don't belong there!
JEANNE:
God have mercy on their souls.
Sorry.
The desecration of a house
of God is the ultimate sin.
Ultimate?
Kidnapping, hurting children,
murder, tad bit higher,
but to each their own.
At least we know
Slim was telling the truth.
Angus was here. He was wearing
this the day he was taken.
MAN: (MUFFLED)
Help me somebody!
Help me, please! Anybody!
Is anybody there? Please!
Anybody, help...
Butterfield?
What the hell
are you doing in there?
This guy Otis
and his bunch of madmen!
They've seized
my entire town,
just rode right in here,
threw me in the back
of this van...
Slow down!
Where'd they take
everyone?
Up the mountain.
But the only thing
up there
IS an old mine.
Ain't no one struck it lucky
up there for...
The gateway!
Yeah.
I did hear Otis say something
about "opening a gateway."
The poisonous gas in the air
is seeping through the gateway
from the depths of Hell.
That rupture
was Otis's soul escaping.
Oh, Lord.
Why are you praying?
Otis is going to use
the humans to crack
the whole thing wide open.
Why, so he can
get back inside?
No.
So he can let the souls
of the damned back out.
Roy.
Roy?
JEANNE: Otis is going to use
those digging humans
and turn them into deados.
After that,
they'll keep pouring out,
eventually taking over
and...
Possessing the rest
of the world.
I get it. End of times.
Mmm-hmm.
But why doesn't Otis
and his deado troop just
do the digging themselves?
Like us, they're unaffected
by the gas and stronger
than the humans, right?
God created a defense,
a kind of buffer
between Earth and Hell
to stop the souls beneath
from returning.
That buffer
was all of humanity.
Only when they invite
the souls back in
are they able to rise again.
ROY: But that
would never happen.
'Cause mankind would never
welcome pure evil back into
their world.
But by digging
through the gateway,
that's exactly
what they're doing.
(LAUGHS)
Okay, you just lost me
with all that talk of Hell
and "souls escaping."
You women can be
so overly dramatic.
Really? Well, clearly
you don't want "us women"...
...to save your ass?
No!
No?
Fine, just do it yourself!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTING)
A little help!
ROY: A little help!
A little more help!
I'm trying.
Here! Take it.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHS)
Mr. Butterfield!
I have your tea
and nightcap for you.
Mr. Butterfield, sir?
"Butterfield Printing Press"?
"500 copies"?
You didn't kill no lawman.
You're a victim
of a gross injustice.
No way.
Now go.
Before they come back.
Go!
(COUGHING)
I think I'm dying.
I know something
that may help.
Get these to the folks
who are still around.
Can you help me?
I've got someplace else
I need to be.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES)
NELL: You guys ready?
COOPER: Yeah. All set, ma'am.
It's almost midnight.
Not much longer now.
Hey, hey!
Back from the door!
Hey.
I know that sword.
Yeah. We bagged
ourselves some RIPD.
Don't take your eyes off them.
It looked like
she recognized
you and could see me.
Yup. Now we know
where those deados
got their RIPD weapons.
That's Nell Boyce.
Recruitment got
that one all wrong.
She robbed our armory
before going into hiding.
Guess she found something
worth coming out for.
(MAN EXCLAIMING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
ROY: You got some stones
on you, boy.
But sometimes,
saving the day
requires you to admit
you can't do it alone.
ANGUS: Whoa.
You should better
get some masks.
You're gonna croak
real fast up in here
if you don't.
Angus?
I'm sorry,
do I know you, ma'am?
Of course you do, son.
It's me...
Ro... (GIBBERISH)
Right.
No, uh...
No, you, uh, don't know me.
No, um...
I, uh, just heard...
...your name
called out by somebody
when you were storming
out of the cage
like a wild mustang.
"Careful, Angus!
"Don't do anything foolish,
Angus. And so on."
That doesn't matter
right now.
What matters is...
...I see you now.
And you got much more moxie
than I ever gave you
credit for.
I've been wrong to judge you
unkindly since we met.
Which was, what,
maybe a minute ago?
Miss...
Mabel.
The name's Mabel.
Are you married, Angus?
ANGUS: No, ma'am.
But I'm engaged.
To the most wondrous human
that I've ever met.
And her father?
Handsome son of a bitch,
ain't he?
What? (STAMMERS)
I mean... I guess?
Not a guessing game,
I'm sure he is.
You know, I just never
understood why he never
took a shine to me.
Maybe he stupidly thought
that you marrying my...
His daughter...
...you were trying
to replace him.
And you know...
What, with his poor wife
taken ill by the pox
a few years earlier...
...maybe he was scared
he'd be left all alone.
Wow.
How could you possibly
know all that?
It's a gift.
Some call it
women's intuition.
Let me ask you something.
If he was standing
right here, right now,
what would you say to him?
Well, I would say, "Roy..."
"You handsome son-of-a-bitch,"
start with flattery,
helps with future in-laws.
ANGUS: Um...
So I'd say, "Roy...
"not only do I think
that you are...
A handsome son-of-a-bitch."
ANGUS: ...a handsome
son-of-a-bitch, but...
"I just want you to know
that I could never
compete with you.
"And I just hope you know
how much I respect you.
"If I can ever be
half the husband
for my Charlotte
"that you've been
a father, then I...
"I'll die knowing
that I got it right."
You're gonna get that chance,
I promise you.
For inspiration.
I told you, I got a gift.
Otherworldly, you might say.
Here we go.
(TICKING)
(RUMBLING)
It's time.
Gateway is weaker
than I thought.
They'll break through
sooner than expected.
Bring 'em all in.
What do you want to do
about the RIPD?
OTIS: I got plans for them.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
Mabel! Mabel!
Help!
You stay down.
You stay calm.
Think of Charlotte!
Let me go with him.
Let me go with him!
We wanna go in! We wanna help!
NELL: I bet you do.
RIPD scum.
Hey, Joan, been a long time.
Still got this famous
blade of yours.
As ex-RIPD,
I can tell you what
these two really look like.
No.
I can see them.
I can see everything.
And I can tell you
it's too late for you
and your department,
I'm afraid.
Tomorrow your RIPD will be
useless against our numbers.
When the gateway opens wide,
deados will take over.
And I'm gonna rule over
them all as I turn Earth
into the tenth circle of Hell.
(LAUGHS)
Ah!
Just before dawn,
bring them in so that
I can throw them
into the abyss
before the gateway
closes once again.
And for someone
who hates fire
as much as you,
Jeanne D'Arc,
you'll be bathing in it
for all eternity.
(EXCLAIMS)
NELL: Whoa-ho. (CHUCKLES)
The irony
is so gloriously delicious.
(LAUGHS)
Do not let them
out of your sight.
Jeanne D'Arc? Joan?
445 years dead?
I think pretty quick
on my feet.
I figured it out.
You're...
Joan of Arc.
Wow.
Joan.
If it's all right with you,
I'm just gonna keep
calling you Jean.
Jeanne.
Jean, Jeanne, same thing.
Joan of Arc, first partner
this lone wolf
has ever really needed.
And I've enjoyed having you
as my fourth partner.
Roycephus.
Well, let's hope
those other three
are really with us,
'cause we're gonna need
all the help we can muster
to get the hell out of here.
(PEOPLE GRUNTING IN EFFORT)
NELL: Harder. Dig harder.
Get him up.
DEADO: Get up.
ANGUS: No, no, no.
Please, I can help.
Come on.
DEADO: Back to work!
(GRUNTING)
(YELPING)
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GROANING)
I can feel it now.
In three...
Two...
One.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(DEAD SOULS GROWLING)
(YELLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
ROY: So if they can get
this gateway open,
is there anything
that can close it?
Yes. But we'll need
to extinguish the hellfire.
Only one thing can do that.
During the Siege of Orleans,
when I was alive,
I broke ranks to assess
the damage done
to our houses of God...
God, have mercy
on their souls.
I discovered something
truly magnificent.
The Tears of Christ.
SLIM: Hey, y'all.
Room for one more
at this party?
Well, well, well.
Look what the cat
dragged in.
Didn't think
we'd see you again.
Shut up, Cooper.
You talk too much.
Mm. How does it feel being
on the "Royceiphing" end?
Oh, that's hers, ain't it?
Yeah.
It's big.
COOPER: Whoa. Take it easy.
Not after the way
she's treated me.
This is not
what's planned for her.
You don't wanna
go against orders.
Well, how about her, then?
I really feel like
shooting somebody.
I get that.
Oh, you do?
Well, that's great!
(EXCLAIMING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, do you trust me now?
So before I let you out,
I want you to promise me,
my soul gets a retrial.
I want my current
judgement revoked.
That's rare,
but not impossible.
You let us out,
and I'll see to it.
And you.
Before I let you out,
you need to see this.
Remember, Butterfield
owns a printing press,
and like I said,
I was framed.
I told you the bills
weren't official.
Butterfield had
them fake ones made.
Your beef is with him,
not me, Roycephus.
Call me Roy.
(GROWLING)
All right, listen to me.
We gotta try
and get out of here.
We gotta get
out right now!
No!
Daddy! No! (SOBS)
Please...
No!
He's gone!
He's been taken!
Look at me!
Your daddy's gone.
We have to go!
These tears need to be dropped
into the eye of the hellfire,
dead center in the gateway.
Only then will it seal,
sucking everything
in with it.
Means we gotta get
those humans out first.
Exactly.
Now go.
Uh, you're coming with.
I can't, Roy. I...
I just can't.
Go! Go!
Just stay with me.
You'll get out.
Just stay with me.
Come on!
I think I get it!
Don't look at them!
Avert your eyes!
Avert your eyes!
You've got fire in you
that's greater than anything
that ever came out of Hell.
You got this.
Come on, now!
Not a moment has passed
since I was burned
at the stake
that I have not heard
my own dying screams.
I can't do fire, Roy.
I'm sorry.
Bring me in.
Hey, partner.
You've been safeguarding
these for 445 years.
This is your moment.
Make them open their eyes!
Make them look!
I didn't call for them.
No choice,
the other one rebelled.
Took out Cooper and Brooks
before I got her.
What should I do
with this one?
Just throw him in!
Ready?
Mmm-hmm.
Set.
Mmm-hmm.
Go!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
ANGUS: This way. Come on.
Come on.
Go help Angus and the others.
I'm gonna find me this Otis.
Okay.
Close your eyes!
Close your eyes!
Come on, come on, come on!
Keep your eyes closed!
Go! Move!
Go! Go!
Watch out!
No!
Let's go! Come on!
(STRAINING)
Whoa!
(GRUNTING)
ROY: I get it. It's hot.
It's gonna get
a whole lot hotter.
JULIUS: Please. Please.
No, no, no, no...
Get out of here. Go!
(GRUNTING)
SLIM: Keep your eyes closed!
Keep your eyes closed!
Come on! Go!
Go! Feel!
(YELLS)
(GROWLING)
(CLAMORING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
We need to hold on.
(EXCLAIMS)
(SCREAMS)
Hold on!
(SIGHS)
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
ANGUS: Hey, it's over.
It's over.
That's some powerful tears
you got there.
And the wretched
are where they belong.
ROY: And Otis, too,
from the looks of it.
Thanks for showing up
when you did.
You didn't give me
much choice.
(STRAINING)
Little help, please.
Come on.
(BOTH STRAINING)
Oh, it's really in there.
JEANNE: Yes,
it's like the Earth
is tightened around it.
OTIS: Your interference
is really testing my patience.
Appears I'll have to wait
another 25 years
for this opportunity.
Astaroth!
As... What?
What's an Astaroth?
JEANNE: One-third
of the evil trinity.
The right hand
to the devil himself.
Until I rose to establish
my own throne here on Earth.
And you're not gonna
stop me this time!
(GROWLING)
JEANNE:
I've lost the tears, Roy.
I've got to get to my sword.
ROY: Hold on, now.
Look what got left behind.
Relax. I got this.
Hey, Asshole-roth!
(ASTAROTH LAUGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(YELLS)
(GROWLING)
(GASPS)
Nothing more humiliating
than having your soul taken
by your own weapon,
huh? (LAUGHS)
ROY: The tears.
Let there be something left.
(SCREECHING)
Eat your heart out,
Annie Oakley.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
JEANNE: I'm quite sure
Butterfield does not expect us
to settle our tab.
No, but we got
some unfinished business.
I never meant
to kill that Sheriff!
SLIM: Let's go.
Please.
You got to believe me.
SLIM: I found him cowering
under the bed.
Go on, tell him the truth!
When Otis took over my town,
I tried to escape.
Caught me a train
across the border.
Just so it happened,
them Samuel bandits
were working over Horseshoe
at the same time,
stealing more folks for Otis
as the train passed through.
I didn't want them Samuels
bringing me back.
So, when I fired that gun...
I thought I was shooting
one of them.
Butterfield!
No. No, come here.
Go on!
I knew he was there.
I knew he was the weakest.
I had them fake bills printed
in order to save my own hide.
Why do you women
even care so much
about that damn Sheriff?
I know what Marcus Aurelius
thinks about revenge.
But what does the Bible say,
and make it quick?
Roy, if I start quoting
the Bible, Butterfield
will die of old age.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
You know what to do.
I heard that
you lost your lawman
up there last night.
Is there anyone
that you or the town
wanna elect as new Sheriff?
Yes, there is.
Him.
Me?
Him?
And I'm going
to be his Deputy.
All right, then.
You saw firsthand
where you're gonna end up.
There ain't nothing worse
that I can to you than that.
Take him away. Lock him up.
Deputy.
Let's go!
Julius.
Ah!
Release me!
Deado outlaw...
...to deado lawman.
You've come
a long way, son.
I guess you've earned
the right for us to know
who you really are.
Should we call you Bumble?
No. Keep calling me Slim.
I intend on bringing
only honor to the name.
We'll come get you
when your soul's retrial
has been set.
But you step
out of line here,
and we'll be coming back
for a whole different reason.
Message Roy-ceiphed.
Well... (SIGHS)
I guess us ladies
need to go shopping
for a couple of dresses.
Because...
We cannot go
to my daughter's wedding
looking like this!
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Yeah, whatever that means!
It means, "Oh, my God!"
(BELLS TOLLING)
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you
Mr. and Mrs. Parker!
(ALL CHEERING)
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There they are.
Come on.
One second, one second.
Come on, come on.
Well, now.
Don't you two look
simply magnificent?
Good luck, Angus.
After today you'll face a far
greater challenge than Hell.
Marriage.
And you're gonna love
every second of it.
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
Are you okay, Mabel?
'Cause I didn't understand
a word that you just said.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I think my sister
must have burned
her tongue up there.
She said
she couldn't be happier
for you
and your beautiful wife.
CHARLOTTE:
I know I just met her,
but it feels like I've known
Mabel my whole life.
ANGUS: I know.
She is very...
...otherworldly.
ROY: So tell me why Angus
can't understand me now.
Because now
that you've approved
of your daughter's marriage,
your soul considers
Angus a loved one.
Hmm.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
So, uh, what are we gonna do
with these here horses?
Let them go.
They'll be here for us
whenever we need them.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
You know,
I've been thinking,
I get it.
You're RIPD
for the rest
of your afterlife.
Duty, honor, servitude
and all that.
But between you
and me and the fence post,
I reckon' I'm done.
As soon as we're done
with this shitty ride here,
I'm gonna tell Hano
to open up that portal
point me towards the sweet
warmth of eternal glory,
and send me on my way.
I want you to know,
I'm real glad to have served
with you and the RIPD,
partner.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) What...
What's funny?
You didn't read
your contract, did you?
Hell, no. That thing
was thicker than Slim.
Well, eternal glory
does await you, Roy,
but only after
you served your minimum
100-year contract term.
One hundred years?
Mmm-hmm.
Looks like you and me
aren't done with each other
yet, partner.
Come on!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
(SPITS)
God damn it.
Sorry, boss.
What I meant to say was...
Damn it!
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
I know you ain't done yet.
You say you're all used up,
but I know you still
got some gold left in ya.
(HORSE WHINNIES)
(GRUNTS)
(RUMBLING)
(YELPS)
(RUMBLING STOPS)
(YELLS)
What in far nation...
(GRUNTS, YELLS)
(WIND BLOWS)
(BELLS TOLLING)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
MAN: Howdy, Sheriff.
(MIMICKING GUNSHOTS)
Uh-oh! You got me.
Morning.
CHARLOTTE: Daddy!
Look at you, sweetheart!
All bright and shiny,
like a living doll.
Give us a twirl.
Whoo!
Is this the wedding dress?
Can I have a sneak peek?
Don't be a cheat, Daddy.
You'll get a full preview
on our big day.
ANGUS: Very soon now.
Can you at least try
and make an effort?
Angus, I see you made
the return trip as well.
A wedding generally
is between a woman
and a man, Sheriff Pulsipher.
Yes it is,
and I can't wait
to meet that young man.
Okay, Daddy.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Listen to me.
In five days,
Angus will be
a part of this family
whether you like it or not.
What I'd like to see
is he's man enough
to take over the reins
in protecting you.
I mean, is he any good
with a barking iron?
I want a husband, Daddy.
Not a bodyguard.
You've taught me
how to take
good enough care of myself.
He's taught me how to dissect
the words of Dostoyevsky
and he's introduced me
to Dickens and Poe...
You're not even married yet,
and you're already
meeting with lawyers?
Daddy, stop it.
Angus is a good soul who does
make me feel safe and secure,
but most of all, happy.
You're just afraid
you won't be the number one
man in my life anymore.
You got him well-trained,
Charlotte, that's for sure.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I'm right here.
(GUNSHOTS)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Inside.
ZEKE: Go get 'em, boys!
Round them up!
ROY: It's the Samuels.
(GRUNTING)
Hurry it up, ladies.
I ain't got all day.
Anybody other than me
comes through those doors,
you shoot 'em.
ZEKE: Move it, move it!
Move it!
Daddy? Angus.
How happy does
he really make you?
Daddy, go!
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
You can come out now.
Go, go!
Move it!
MAN: Come on, let's go.
Keep moving!
SLIM: First time
I made it on a poster.
Hey! I'm handsome!
(LAUGHS)
(GUNSHOT)
Hands up!
Come here.
Stay down. Go!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS, BODY THUDS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
(RETCHES, VOMITS)
(SPITS)
Don't mind.
Happens to everyone.
It's a crazy ride
getting here.
See?
(VOMITS)
I just saw the most...
HANO: Beautiful,
bright light you ever did see?
That'd be Heaven.
Heading towards it
is a good sign
for your future.
But you haven't
made it there yet.
Hold on!
Hold your damn horses.
Did you say Heaven?
I've read your file, Roy.
I know everything about you
and none of it says
you're hard of hearing.
I'm dead?
Mmm-hmm.
Charlotte? What about
my daughter, Charlotte?
Uh, hmm... Negative.
She's dead.
She's dead. (SOBS)
No, no. Negative is positive.
Negative means "not dead."
Negative means "not dead"?
That is very confusing.
Change that.
But good.
She's got her wedding
at the end of the week.
It's in two days, actually.
ROY: Come again?
You've been dead
for three days.
It takes a while
for upstairs
to ratify judgement
and send a soul
to where it belongs.
You got sent to us.
Welcome to the RIPD.
The "RIP..." what?
Stands for "department."
The "RIP" is your standard
"Rest in Peace."
I'm the captain
of the West American
division.
Name's Hano.
See, we generally
only get soldiers,
warriors and sheriffs
who dearly depart
shuffled in here to us.
At least the ones
deemed worthy enough
to serve on God's own police
force in the ongoing fight
against the deados.
The what-os?
The deados.
Souls that escape
their judgment
and hang around Earth
like the bad smell they are.
Our job is to find them
and send them to where
their ticket got punched.
Hmm?
Hell, Roy.
We send them to Hell.
Heaven and Hell?
Whoo!
(HANO CHUCKLES)
ROY: So these souls
that escape their
judgement in Hell
are what you call "deados."
Not yet. A soul,
by its very definition,
is a spectral energy.
Disembodied, it's ineffectual.
To sow the havoc a rogue soul
desires it needs a body.
Wait. A human body?
Exactly.
And once it takes one over,
possesses it, if you will,
then it becomes a problem.
Our problem.
It becomes a deado.
The more deados on Earth,
the more unbalanced
the natural order,
threatening all human life.
I think you're really
gonna like this.
Whoo-wee.
It's quite an impressive candy
store you got here.
(HANO CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
ROY: Oh, hello.
Ain't you purdy.
That's a very nice choice.
Oh... No, no, no.
I can't be unfaithful.
When it comes
to what I wear on my hip,
I'm a one-gun man.
Nothing comes between me
and my Susie.
That's my gun.
I call her Susie.
I call her useless.
Especially against deados.
It'll stun them for a moment
or two, kind of like
a nasty snake bite.
This, however,
more than does the job.
With a head shot,
these bullets can exterminate
a deado's soul.
And your own,
should the barrel
end up being pointed
in your direction.
Whoa. Good to know.
What's with the,
uh, hungry snake?
The Uroboros
signifies life,
death and rebirth.
Deados may look
like real humans,
but after possession,
that symbol is branded
on their torso.
This is a reminder
to all officers
of the constant threat
we're up against.
Right. Cut to the chase.
Why am I here?
Roy, do you remember
that total eclipse
about a month ago?
Well, there was an abnormal
rupture at a gateway
near Red Creek,
an old mining town in Utah.
"Abnormal,"
because it registered
with us as a kind of
hellish discharge.
I know an old quack
back at home
who has a remedy
for "hellish discharges,"
if you know what I mean.
Duly noted, but not
what we're looking for.
You, however,
know that terrain
better than most.
You sign up,
we'll get you back
to Earth right away
to check it all out.
Now, that's a carrot
worth the dangle.
If I get to go back to Earth,
sign me up and count me in!
I know what's going on
in that noggin of yours, Roy.
Everyone in your position
thinks the same thing.
But revenge for your murder
is not the mission.
Getting to Red Creek is.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
You're a dead man.
Nothing we can do
can change that.
Now, before you read and sign,
you should know
the standard service term...
I already said I'm in.
Let's seal the deal.
(SPITS)
Oh.
Send me back.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(SPITS)
(GROANS)
(SIZZLING)
You branded me
like a damn steer.
Moo.
Now giddy up, cowboy.
It's time to move.
(THUDS)
Oh! Watch the bread box.
Sorry. People got taller
over time.
We'd like to replace it
but, you know,
budgetary constraints.
The clock's ticking, Roy.
In two days,
a blood moon will rise.
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
And in the Bible,
when that follows
a blue moon eclipse,
it can only mean one thing.
A hoot of a time
for astronomers?
The end of times.
Hmm.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(RETCHES)
(VOMITS)
What the...
Oh, fancy.
(RUMBLING)
(RUMBLING STOPS)
(EXHALES IN RELIEF)
(GRUNTS)
(BODY THUDS)
Ow.
JEANNE: That's the good thing
about dying.
It can only happen once.
You must be Sheriff Pulsipher.
In all my glory.
I have seen glory
and I don't think you are it.
Just who might you be?
JEANNE: Jeanne.
The name is Jeanne.
ROY: Listen, Jane,
I don't do partners.
Hano charged me
with looking after you,
and I don't go against orders.
I don't need
no looking after.
And I don't need
a fourth partner.
Four partners?
Where are your other three?
Everywhere.
The Father, Son
and the Holy Ghost.
Oh.
Yeah, those three
gun stingers?
They don't come in real handy
when you need backup
in fire fight.
I don't need backup with a gun
when I'm unbeatable
with a sword.
Let's make one thing clear.
I got seniority
in this here arrangement.
I got at least 20 years on ya.
If we were alive.
But you have been dead
for three days.
Me?
162,425.
Or 445 years.
How senior do you feel now?
Hell with this. Hee-ya!
(HORSE WHINNIES)
ZEKE: I ain't gonna
ask you again.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
I said, get in line.
Come on now, Daddy.
BANK MANAGER:
No need to hurt me.
I mean, us.
I'll get you all
what I have in the safe.
We ain't here for your money.
This is a bank.
What else do you want?
Them.
Yeah, we want people.
You got any of them
in your safe?
'Cause, we'll take 'em all.
Oh!
(BULLET WHIZZES)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
SLIM: I'm sorry about that.
You're the sorriest
son-of-a-bitch we ever had
the misfortune
of getting stuck with.
The law is coming.
God damn, they brought
the whole cavalry this time.
You three stay here.
Hold them off.
Catch back up with us later.
Got it.
Damn it!
Hee-ya!
(SNIFFLES)
Oh.
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
JEANNE:
You don't need a partner,
and I don't need
a stray dog, Roy.
Now let's go.
You're not gonna stop me
from seeing my daughter.
Now, listen.
(GRUNTS)
That was unexpected.
You know,
I've never hit a woman.
But you come between me
and my Charlotte,
there's gonna be hell to pay.
Faster than when
you were alive, huh?
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
I can't let you go see her.
Why not?
Because you...
...aren't you anymore.
So this is me now?
To everyone
on Earth, anyway.
(GASPS)
You always said I needed
to be more in touch
with my feminine side, Millie.
If you could only see me now.
Breaks my heart, my daughter
will never know me again.
The RIPD gave you
a second chance
to restore order to the world.
Not your old life.
That's why we don't return
as ourselves.
It would be too confusing
for anyone who knew us.
This is 1876 America.
If you haven't noticed,
folks around these parts
ain't too broad-minded.
Few people
are gonna talk to us,
let alone even listen to us,
looking the way we do.
Why do that?
Make our job
that much harder?
Maybe the eternal one
thought you could learn
a thing or two.
Walking in shoes
of those deemed
less advantaged.
Come on, now.
I have learned plenty.
My best friend is Black.
And my daughter is a woman.
Just because you know them,
does not mean you understand
what it's like to be them.
We'll say we're sisters.
Bounty hunters.
That should
get us some respect.
I can't believe
that this here body
is right there, buried,
under my feet.
Well...
Well what?
It's true that part of you
was buried under there.
Part of me?
The parts they could find.
After you were shot.
I think buried here
is a foot, a shoulder,
your ear, maybe, and your...
My ass?
Yes.
They found your ass, too.
Where is the rest of me?
In a cave, apparently.
Some coyotes
got to you, Roy.
Some coyotes?
They were hungry,
and you were dead.
Hungry coyotes.
I heard they had
some small babies.
Small, hungry,
baby coyotes.
So, you helped them survive.
It's a beautiful thing,
to be a part
of the food chain.
Shut up.
Circle of life...
Stop. Stop talking.
Where are you going, Roy?
My skin might have changed,
but my heart and soul
are still the same.
I know I can make
my daughter recognize me.
You can't communicate
with loved ones
anymore either.
Anything you say to her
will only come out
as an incoherent gibberish.
So, not only will my daughter
not recognize me,
she won't understand a lick
of what I'm saying, either?
This is some bullshit.
(ROY GRUNTS, EXCLAIMS)
(HENRY HUMMING SOFTLY)
I know exactly
how you feel, ma'am.
I understand your pain.
It's good
to let it all out.
You've come
to pay your respects to
the late Sheriff, too, then?
I can't say
I've seen you ladies
around these parts before.
Do you know this man?
That is Henry.
My friend I was talking about.
We've known each other
since we were knee-high.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(SHUSHES)
Name's Matilde, Father.
And this here
is my mute sister,
Mabel.
We only met
the Sheriff once.
He, uh, helped us
with our broken down wagon.
I must admit,
I didn't take
much of a shine to him,
nor him to me.
In fact, he seemed quite
self-absorbed, if you ask me.
The kind of man
that wanted to control
every situation he was in
no matter how
out of his depth
he truly was.
But Mabel, well,
she seemed to think
he was something
really special.
Well, we're all entitled
to our own points of view,
I guess.
But I may have to side
with Miss Mabel
over here on this one.
That man was special.
Far from perfect, of course.
But, special nonetheless.
I mean, was he a little
arrogant?
No doubt.
Did he think that
he had the answers
before the questions
were even asked?
That was Roy, to a tee.
(LAUGHS)
Pigheaded? Ha!
Stubborn as an ornery mule,
more like it.
Boy, was Roy loyal.
To his family,
this town, to me.
There is no one
you wanted more
to have your back.
Makes me wonder how
we're gonna stand on our own
two feet without him.
Especially against the evil
likes of them Samuels
that did Roy in
and took poor
Charlotte's fiance,
amongst others.
Least they caught
three of them five reprobates
holding up a bank today.
Federal Marshals will be
transferring them to Laramie.
It's the hangman's noose
for them boys now.
Mmm-mmm. No, no.
They are moving
them to Laramie.
They gotta pass through
Snake Gully and that's where
we'll hit them.
No.
I have indulged
your little identity crisis.
But we must get to Red Creek.
Didn't you hear Henry?
The Samuels took Angus.
And that is an issue
for the Earthly
authorities to solve,
not us.
Gateways, portals, deados.
That is your jurisdiction now,
Officer.
Out of my way.
The world could be at stake
and you care only about
saving one man.
Not just any man.
The man that makes my daughter
the happiest in the world.
And for me,
my daughter is my world.
Was your world.
You are dead.
You'll get used to using
the past tense.
Hey, Jenny,
would you go walk
around on my grave?
With pleasure.
Wait, why?
'Cause if you're gonna be
such a pain in my ass,
you might as well
be standing on it!
Goodbye, Mabel.
Take good care now.
Right. Mabel.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
MARSHAL: Settle down
back there, boys.
Settle down.
Stubborn as
an ornery mule.
Well, if that isn't
the understatement
of my many years
of after-life service.
How you feel
about me is nothing
compared to my disposition
for those Samuel brothers.
The damndest thing,
not too long ago,
those boys were good
and God-fearing.
Then just like that...
Bad. Turned.
Rotten to the core.
Old Doris Samuel said
her four boys
and adopted son, Slim,
went out to work an old well
one day on their farm,
and came back that night
a crazy bunch of no-goods.
She always said it was like,
they weren't her boys no more.
Also, Henry said
three of the five Samuels
were caught.
There should have been
only four left.
I pegged their leader, Zeke,
before I was killed.
Nobody could have
survived that shot.
Maybe you're not
the sharp shot you thought
you were, Annie Oakley.
I can shoot the sting
off a hornet from 50 feet.
JEANNE: Your humility
is a virtue to behold.
ROY: Thank you.
MARSHAL: Hoo!
Here they come.
Told you they'd pass this way.
MARSHAL: Make it quick.
Now's our chance.
Go!
Don't you worry none, fellas.
We'll be getting you to that
judge soon enough.
Just your exploits in this
region alone will see you
swinging by Sunday.
(URINATING)
Sure you don't wanna go?
It's a great spot.
I feel light as a feather.
What are you doing?
We got the element
of surprise!
Look.
Holy shit!
The Uroboros!
JEANNE: You may not be
such a bad shot
after all, Roy.
But you couldn't have killed
that which was already dead.
Doris Samuels didn't think
her sons came home that night
because they didn't.
Rogue souls that escaped
judgement must have
been hiding in that well.
And possessed the brothers
and made them deados.
And this just
became our jurisdiction.
Help! Help me, misters!
Please.
It's my sister!
She's hurt real bad.
She's a bit slow, you see,
and doesn't have
a keen sense of direction.
Fact, she don't much
have a keen sense of anything
at all right now,
truth be told.
She slipped from the top
of the canyon.
Banged herself up real good.
MARSHAL: Now,
you hold it right there.
We do not have the time
nor the disposition
to help the likes of you.
Guess you don't have
the disposition
for no Morgan silver
then neither.
Hey, fellas.
See if you can help
the little lady out.
JEANNE: Okay, then.
Thank you.
You're real saints.
(GRUNTS)
MARSHAL: Hey fellas,
we gotta go.
Leave 'em to die
if you have to.
Just make sure
you grab the silver.
Fellas?
(GRUNTING)
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Whoa!
I got her! I got her!
You go check!
Yeah, you got her.
That's for damn sure.
But I can't see
no bullet hole.
Boo!
(MARSHAL 2 SCREAMS)
JEANNE: Hey, Marshal.
Still want that silver?
(GRUNTS)
ROY: That's the thing
about dying,
it can only happen once.
Ow. Just like a snake bite.
(SAMUELS LAUGHING)
Damn strong lock.
(STRAINING)
Search him again!
I'm telling you,
the key must have got lost
while you were busy assaulting
us US Federal Marshals.
No! These ain't mine!
Oh, God!
So what now?
We're gonna have
to pop one of them.
Pop what now?
Hmm?
ROY: You gonna partake
in a little moonshine
with our captives?
This isn't moonshine.
But for deados,
something far more torturous.
(GROWLING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
Once popped,
he's got to be stopped.
(GROWLING, SCREECHING)
(GRUNTS)
What the...
Holy shit.
No, water.
Blessed by the Almighty.
Once they've possessed
a human, deados hate
revealing their true selves.
The pain is unbearable.
Holy water speeds up
the process.
Uh, where are the other two?
Oh, there's one.
JEANNE: Like I said,
in a gunfight,
all I need is my sword.
Let's go, deado filth.
(MUFFLED YELPS)
Son of a...
What?
What?
Don't you "what, what"
me, boy.
You was the one that sent me
to the bone orchard
with a slug to the back
of the skull, ya damn coward!
Ma'am!
I've no idea who you are!
He doesn't recognize you,
Roycephus.
(CHUCKLES) Roycephus?
Her name is Roycephus?
Oh!
I saw it on your tombstone.
It is a pretty funny name.
Is it Roman?
It means noble and kind!
Neither of which
I'm feeling at the moment,
as I stare into the eyes
of my murderer.
No! Whoa, whoa.
Slow down!
Now I know
Sheriff Pulsipher was shot
near the train that day,
but I've no idea who did it.
You did it!
It was you!
You shot me
from inside the train!
Nah, that bill
is a load of bosh.
Someone's trying to frame me!
Okay.
Cool, cool, so clearly,
you can't see our true selves.
But can you see
these weapons?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, I see them.
Good, 'cause this pistol
is the last thing
you're ever gonna see!
Adios, deados!
No. What about
getting him to talk?
Think about your daughter.
About Angus.
They're the reason
we're here, right?
God damn it!
What did you do
with the people
from the train?
Eat a horn toad!
Ah...
Oh, boy.
Mmm-hmm.
(YELPS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROWLING)
Come on out!
Any more, and he'll pop.
I'll talk. Please!
ROY: Go on, then. Talk.
SLIM: Okay. Okay, okay.
There's this deado.
The worst I've ever seen.
Goes by the name Otis.
Otis Claiborne.
And he ain't like most deados.
He's more powerful.
He forced me
and the souls that took over
the other Samuels
to kidnap people
and deliver them to Red Creek.
Red Creek?
As in Red Creek,
Utah?
SLIM: Yeah.
Maybe this little diversion
wasn't a waste of time,
after all.
And how long
you been rounding
up folks for this Otis'?
About a month.
Since he showed up.
That's around the same time
as the gateway rupture.
You reckon this Otis could be
the "hellish discharge"
Hano was on about?
Souls can escape
on their way into Hell
but none have ever
gotten back out.
What business does this Otis
have with the kidnapped folk?
He's locking them up.
Keeping them healthy.
He's got something
big planned. That's for sure.
And it's goin' down soon.
That's all I know!
Means Angus
might still be alive.
Look, we was just trying
to lay low from you RIPD.
But Otis has a real
scary way about him.
I ain't proud of what I done,
but he threatened
to wipe us all out
if we didn't help.
And how exactly
was he going to do that?
Deados can't wipe out
other deados.
With one of those, they can.
Now why would this
Otis fella have himself
an RIPD equalizer?
I don't know.
But it's not good.
We need to get to Red Creek.
Ow!
(SIGHS WEARILY)
(DOOR OPENS)
That deado crew
has returned.
But they only brought back
eight more.
I'll get them to do
one last run
before midnight.
Their leader
said they're done.
For good this time.
Seems they want out
before any RIPD
start moving in.
Is that so?
What else did he say?
He doesn't think we should all
be following you with such...
...blind faith.
They are questioning
your origins.
Who you say you really are.
And you?
Do you doubt who I say I am?
It's just...
They're questioning
how you got out.
(CHUCKLES)
As one of the three,
I had the freedom
to roam all circles
of the underworld.
I escaped through limbo
during that full moon eclipse
when a fragment of
the gateway grew weak.
Now, tonight's blood moon
completes a tetradic
lunar cycle,
making the entire gateway
weak and vulnerable
at midnight.
That's when we put
the humans to work.
It gives them
six hours to toil
until the gateway strengthens
again at dawn,
making it impossible
to penetrate once more.
This is why we need
as many hands as we can get.
Because if they fail...
...it will be another
quarter of a century
before the gateway
is at its weakest once again.
I was tired of fighting
for control down below.
I escaped to rule
over my own dominion
here on Earth.
I can barely wait a few hours,
let alone a quarter
of a century.
Now you tell me.
Do I also have to fight
for your belief
in me as well?
No, I'm with you.
I am.
I believe you can deliver us
Hell on Earth.
But...
But what?
I can no longer speak
for the others.
Well, let's go open
everyone's eyes, then.
If you're gonna
put faith in me,
I no longer
want it to be blind.
Hmm.
ROY: Are you sure we can't
just pop this dead weight?
He's holding us back.
JEANNE:
Execution is not RIPD policy.
Once we're done,
Hano will have him
redirected back to Hell.
His fate has already
been sealed.
Just put me on the back
of the horse, Miss Horciphus.
We'll get there
much quicker.
I'll hold on
to you real tight.
I promise.
We'll keep each other
nice and toasty, huh?
What do you say? (GRUNTS)
ROY: I'll give him
a fighting chance.
Ten seconds start.
He did kill me, after all.
JEANNE: "The best revenge
is to be unlike him
who caused the injury."
ROY: You quoting
the Bible on me now?
JEANNE: No.
Marcus Aurelius said that.
Like you, he was a Roman, too.
Roycephus ain't Roman.
It's a family name.
JEANNE: Okay. I got it.
Message received.
Don't you mean "Roy-ceiphed"?
Message "Roy-ceiphed."
(CHUCKLES) Get it?
'Cause your name
is Royceph...
Oh! Here come the snake bites.
Snake what?
Ow! Ow!
I'm sorry, okay? Damn!
I'm gonna file a complaint
when you take me in.
(GROANS)
Speaking of fate,
I gotta thank you.
For, uh, saving my life
back at the canyon.
He had me dead to rights.
That wasn't easy for you,
was it?
Admitting you can't
do it alone.
I'm not admitting anything,
I'm just saying thanks
for having my back.
Don't make this awkward.
You're welcome.
But it wasn't your life
that I saved back there.
But something
far more important.
Your soul.
So tell me,
your dearly departed Millie,
do you think she ended
"up" or "down"?
Well seeing how
I was heading to
the pearly gates,
that damn fine woman probably
has a seat in the front row.
Hmm.
Looking forward
to joining her.
Hopefully,
she is waiting for you.
Oh, hey!
What's that now?
Oh, nothing.
It's just...
It's just what?
It's just there are
a lot of good men in heaven.
Very good men.
Good looking, so I hear.
Maybe she moved on.
They can do that?
Yeah.
ROY AND SLIM: Damn!
I thought when I died,
Millie and I would be
together for eternity.
Eternity?
Together with you, Roy?
No, no, no, no.
That would be more like Hell
for poor Millie.
Don't you think?
Yeah, it would. It would.
(LAUGHS)
What are you laughing at?
What?
I'm just breaking your noix.
Breaking my what?
Your, uh, this,
only for boys.
Breaking my nuts?
Yes.
You were breaking
my nuts?
Uh-huh. (LAUGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
That was a good one.
Yes!
Oh, you got me.
I got you.
Yeah.
You got me, too.
Man, she's funny.
Weird, but funny.
(CHUCKLES)
I'll shut up now.
Message Roy-ceiphed.
I mean received. Aw, shit.
Ow! (YELLS)
(ROY AND JEANNE LAUGH)
I heard this was all
you could muster.
ZEKE: Word's getting around
about our kidnappings,
so it's rare
to find anybody gathering
around here at all.
Our last two scores
had to be over the border.
Like I said,
we're done here now.
(LAUGHS)
You really don't wanna
stay and be a part
of the foundation
that creates
a new world order?
You don't wanna witness
something truly biblical?
What a shame
you have no faith in me.
Because when I lead our kind
in Earth's great takeover,
you could have had
a seat at the main table.
(SQUELCHING)
(YELLS)
(SCREECHING)
(DISTORTED) Look at me!
Open your eyes.
I said, open your eyes!
(SCREECHING)
And believe!
How do you feel about staying?
Go help the others.
I want these new ones
masked up,
watered and fed.
I need them all fit
for the work ahead.
(WOMAN WHIMPERING)
You think anyone
doubts who I am now?
(WOMAN SHRIEKING)
Let's play a game called
"When we were alive."
So, when you were alive,
what'd you prefer?
Whiskey or gin?
Dresses or tights?
Chicken or steak?
You know what to do.
Come again?
(GRUNTS)
Ow!
It's actually
starting to tickle.
(CHUCKLES)
Damn it!
The waltz or tango?
(EXCLAIMS)
Coffee or tea?
Saloons or brothels?
Sunrise or sunset?
Long hair, short hair?
Missionary
or doggy-style?
Oh! Ah!
I'm starting to like that.
Are we there yet?
JEANNE: "The sun
will turn into darkness,
"and the moon into blood,
"before the great
and terrible day comes."
ROY: Guessing that's not
Marcus Aurelius?
JEANNE: The Book of Joel.
The sentiment is echoed
in Acts and Revelations,
signifying...
The beginning
of the end of times?
Yeah, Hano sent me
back to Earth
with that same cheery note.
Just over that ridge
is Red Creek.
I'd turn back if I were you.
(GRUNTS)
Here are the rules.
You open that rancid pie hole
of yours and you tell anyone
who we really are,
you eat one
of these bullets.
Mmm-hmm.
You even imply
that we're RIPD...
You eat one of these
here bullets.
In fact you speak without me
allowing you to speak...
I eat one of them
there bullets?
You're not as dumb
as you look.
You so damn ugly.
Good idea.
We don't want anyone
recognizing we have him.
Yeah. That's why I did it.
SLIM: What's that smell?
Two Black women
are pulling a hooded man
through town
with a rope and no one
bats an eyelid?
They seem too ill
to notice anything.
Yeah, I wonder
what's ailing them.
Cholera hit Blackpool
a few months back.
You hear that?
JEANNE: I hear nothing.
Exactly.
Just when you think things
couldn't get any stranger...
An empty saloon.
Whatever happened here,
happened in a hurry.
(BOYS COUGHING)
Boys, where is everyone?
That's right! Pile it all up.
Come on, keep it moving now.
Come on. There you go.
All your donations
are going to a damn
fine cause,
I assure you, so...
Keep those heads up
and have another
blessed eve...
Who's the snake oil salesman?
JULIUS: ...in the good Lord's
favorite town!
SLIM: Ah, Julius Butterfield.
He owns the saloon,
livery stables, general store,
the local printing press
and the hotel.
Oh, yeah.
He's also the mayor.
Seems like a fair election.
(BELL RINGING)
JULIUS: Okay, I got you.
I got you. (COUGHS)
Forgive my tardiness.
There are days
I need at least five of me
to get all I need...
...done.
Oh, no, no, no.
You...
You're gonna have to leave.
You should not be in here.
Sure, we should!
We're bounty hunters.
Sisters. All the way
from Bandera, Texas.
We require lodgings.
And this is a hotel.
He your bounty then?
You're not as dumb
as you look.
Well, maybe you both are...
...because it appears
that you can't read.
Now leave.
You're breaking the law.
Just 'cause it's a law,
don't make it right.
I'm gonna ask you
to take that down.
Just as soon
as I get that chance.
Burn it.
You don't tell me
what to do.
Now.
Right.
You're right.
Capitalism is colorblind.
And being more open
means making
more money, after all.
So...
Thank you.
All right.
(MUFFLED CLAMORING)
You all right?
Beverly!
Yes, sir!
(CHUCKLES)
What's all that
"sir" nonsense?
I told you it's just
plain old "Julius" to you
and everyone else.
We're all one and the same
around here.
Now, Beverly would you
please be so kind
as to show our guests here
to room 5?
Thank you.
Enjoy your stay.
Follow me, ladies.
Pardon my asking,
but I recognize the birthmark
on the arm of your bounty.
He and his posse have been
in and out of town
a few times of late.
Mind if I enquire
what you got him for?
Killing a US Marshal.
SLIM: I told you,
I ain't kill no...
(GROANS)
But don't you worry none,
Miss Beverly.
We're gonna keep
a real close
eye on him.
I ain't afraid of him.
His partners were plain nasty.
But he was, uh, nice.
SLIM: Yes, thank you.
Come on in.
I hope it has everything
you need.
JEANNE: Excuse my own
inquisitiveness,
Miss Beverly,
but what ails the town?
Oh...
No one knows for sure.
Started about a month ago.
Mr. Butterfield says
it has to do with
the water supply.
But between you and me
and the bedpost,
I think that's just a ploy
for him to sell more whiskey.
To who?
There ain't barely
anyone around.
Oh. Town emptied out
dead of last night.
Mr. Butterfield says gold
was struck not far away.
Seems everyone
must want a piece
before there's nothing left.
If that was the case,
I reckon old Butterfield
would have been the first
to break ground.
Do you really
believe him?
I don't have much of a choice.
Pardon me.
I suggest you keep
your door locked.
SLIM: You heard her.
She said I'm nice.
She ain't well.
Confusing you
with someone else.
I mean,
can a deado be nice?
Not in my extended
experience.
SLIM: Well, look who's
discriminating now.
There must be
something in the air
making everybody sick.
That's why it's not affecting
any of us. In other words,
the dead.
And I think...
It's coming from up there.
SLIM: Hmm? Up where?
(GROANS)
GIRL: Daddy! Daddy!
Stay with me!
Stay with me!
Don't, don't!
Don't, don't!
Please! I've got
to revive my daddy.
Please...
No, no, no.
Look, he's still with us.
Just let him rest.
Listen, lady. Up here,
if you take off that mask,
you will die.
And fast.
How do you know?
I've seen it happen.
(ANGUS GASPING, WHEEZING)
(COUGHING)
GIRL: Okay! Stop it!
You've made your point.
Okay!
(PANTING)
What do they want
with us all?
I don't know.
I have a feeling
that we'll come
to understand real soon.
MAN: What are you looking at?
(COUGHING)
(COUGHING)
God damn it!
OTIS: You gotta get
all the equipment
up to the mine.
There's no time to waste.
We start opening the gateway
in less than an hour.
(COUGHING)
What do you want,
Butterfield?
Listen. Otis.
I've done everything
asked of me so far,
haven't I?
You did try and run away
from me a few days ago,
remember?
Okay, okay,
but since then,
I couldn't have been
more accommodating
to your needs,
no matter how felonious
or demanding.
But, please.
I'm begging you.
All I want in return
is one of these.
I told you they're
for workers only.
Are you gonna be one?
I told you,
I got a town to run.
You don't have
much of one left.
Because you've taken everyone!
No! Please!
No, no, no. Please.
Please!
A couple of healthy ones
just checked into the hotel.
Take them, too.
Just give me a mask.
I don't wanna die.
Death is not so bad.
In fact, sometimes
it's the beginning
of a whole new kind of life.
I mean, look at us,
we can breathe all kinds
of toxic air that you can't
in your current form.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
And didn't I promise your body
the same sort of rebirth
if you just showed us a little
cooperation and hospitality?
And I have.
I've done everything.
I just... I just want
my town back.
Tomorrow is the dawn
of a new day for you.
And all mankind.
Go on.
Take it.
It's yours.
(COUGHS)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What are you all even doing
up that mountain anyways?
Well now that
you have that mask on,
you're gonna find out.
JULIUS: Otis, please!
Otis!
Otis!
MAN: Get back.
Ugh. Damn!
Smelt like a horse's
ding-dong under there
You would know. Where is...
...Otis keeping
the kidnappees?
We delivered them
to the church.
That's all I know. Promise.
Ow. What are you doing?
I can help!
Nice try hoss.
You're staying put.
You got looser lips
than a jaw less mule.
You're gonna stay
right here.
Come on!
That is tight as a bull's ass
in fly season.
Look, give me a chance
to prove myself!
Please. I don't wanna
go to Hell.
Nothing we can do
about that now.
I didn't do nothing that bad
when I was alive.
Clearly, you did enough.
I mean, I stole some stuff.
Just some?
Okay, a little more than some.
A lot. I stole a lot of stuff.
In fact, I was called
"Bumble,"
on account of my hands
were stickier than a beehive.
See?
Hey! That's my new Susie!
You call your gun "Susie"?
Yeah, named it after
my dear old Meemaw.
You named a soul killer
after your grandma
and I'm the twisted one?
You should be going to Hell,
not... My point is,
I could have blown
both your souls
to dust just now.
But I didn't.
'Cause I want you to know
you can trust me.
Stealing ain't right,
I know that.
But it ain't nothing
compared to them souls
that took over
the other Samuel boys.
You heard Beverly, them deados
are meaner than cut snakes.
And I ain't like them.
You think it's fair that
we all get judged to end up
in the same awful place?
Psst, psst.
What is it?
Is there a chance
that old Slim,
the real Slim,
a little part of him
is still in there?
No. Slim is long gone.
This "Bumble" soul
is in complete control now.
And he's playing you, Roy.
Deados will do anything
to avoid going to Hell.
Don't be fooled.
Now let's go.
SLIM: I don't wanna
go to Hell.
I don't belong there!
Please!
Let me prove it to you.
I can prove it to you, please.
I said, let's go, Roy.
SLIM: Please!
Please! Please come back!
(WAILING)
I don't wanna go to Hell!
Please! I don't belong there!
JEANNE:
God have mercy on their souls.
Sorry.
The desecration of a house
of God is the ultimate sin.
Ultimate?
Kidnapping, hurting children,
murder, tad bit higher,
but to each their own.
At least we know
Slim was telling the truth.
Angus was here. He was wearing
this the day he was taken.
MAN: (MUFFLED)
Help me somebody!
Help me, please! Anybody!
Is anybody there? Please!
Anybody, help...
Butterfield?
What the hell
are you doing in there?
This guy Otis
and his bunch of madmen!
They've seized
my entire town,
just rode right in here,
threw me in the back
of this van...
Slow down!
Where'd they take
everyone?
Up the mountain.
But the only thing
up there
IS an old mine.
Ain't no one struck it lucky
up there for...
The gateway!
Yeah.
I did hear Otis say something
about "opening a gateway."
The poisonous gas in the air
is seeping through the gateway
from the depths of Hell.
That rupture
was Otis's soul escaping.
Oh, Lord.
Why are you praying?
Otis is going to use
the humans to crack
the whole thing wide open.
Why, so he can
get back inside?
No.
So he can let the souls
of the damned back out.
Roy.
Roy?
JEANNE: Otis is going to use
those digging humans
and turn them into deados.
After that,
they'll keep pouring out,
eventually taking over
and...
Possessing the rest
of the world.
I get it. End of times.
Mmm-hmm.
But why doesn't Otis
and his deado troop just
do the digging themselves?
Like us, they're unaffected
by the gas and stronger
than the humans, right?
God created a defense,
a kind of buffer
between Earth and Hell
to stop the souls beneath
from returning.
That buffer
was all of humanity.
Only when they invite
the souls back in
are they able to rise again.
ROY: But that
would never happen.
'Cause mankind would never
welcome pure evil back into
their world.
But by digging
through the gateway,
that's exactly
what they're doing.
(LAUGHS)
Okay, you just lost me
with all that talk of Hell
and "souls escaping."
You women can be
so overly dramatic.
Really? Well, clearly
you don't want "us women"...
...to save your ass?
No!
No?
Fine, just do it yourself!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTING)
A little help!
ROY: A little help!
A little more help!
I'm trying.
Here! Take it.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHS)
Mr. Butterfield!
I have your tea
and nightcap for you.
Mr. Butterfield, sir?
"Butterfield Printing Press"?
"500 copies"?
You didn't kill no lawman.
You're a victim
of a gross injustice.
No way.
Now go.
Before they come back.
Go!
(COUGHING)
I think I'm dying.
I know something
that may help.
Get these to the folks
who are still around.
Can you help me?
I've got someplace else
I need to be.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES)
NELL: You guys ready?
COOPER: Yeah. All set, ma'am.
It's almost midnight.
Not much longer now.
Hey, hey!
Back from the door!
Hey.
I know that sword.
Yeah. We bagged
ourselves some RIPD.
Don't take your eyes off them.
It looked like
she recognized
you and could see me.
Yup. Now we know
where those deados
got their RIPD weapons.
That's Nell Boyce.
Recruitment got
that one all wrong.
She robbed our armory
before going into hiding.
Guess she found something
worth coming out for.
(MAN EXCLAIMING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
ROY: You got some stones
on you, boy.
But sometimes,
saving the day
requires you to admit
you can't do it alone.
ANGUS: Whoa.
You should better
get some masks.
You're gonna croak
real fast up in here
if you don't.
Angus?
I'm sorry,
do I know you, ma'am?
Of course you do, son.
It's me...
Ro... (GIBBERISH)
Right.
No, uh...
No, you, uh, don't know me.
No, um...
I, uh, just heard...
...your name
called out by somebody
when you were storming
out of the cage
like a wild mustang.
"Careful, Angus!
"Don't do anything foolish,
Angus. And so on."
That doesn't matter
right now.
What matters is...
...I see you now.
And you got much more moxie
than I ever gave you
credit for.
I've been wrong to judge you
unkindly since we met.
Which was, what,
maybe a minute ago?
Miss...
Mabel.
The name's Mabel.
Are you married, Angus?
ANGUS: No, ma'am.
But I'm engaged.
To the most wondrous human
that I've ever met.
And her father?
Handsome son of a bitch,
ain't he?
What? (STAMMERS)
I mean... I guess?
Not a guessing game,
I'm sure he is.
You know, I just never
understood why he never
took a shine to me.
Maybe he stupidly thought
that you marrying my...
His daughter...
...you were trying
to replace him.
And you know...
What, with his poor wife
taken ill by the pox
a few years earlier...
...maybe he was scared
he'd be left all alone.
Wow.
How could you possibly
know all that?
It's a gift.
Some call it
women's intuition.
Let me ask you something.
If he was standing
right here, right now,
what would you say to him?
Well, I would say, "Roy..."
"You handsome son-of-a-bitch,"
start with flattery,
helps with future in-laws.
ANGUS: Um...
So I'd say, "Roy...
"not only do I think
that you are...
A handsome son-of-a-bitch."
ANGUS: ...a handsome
son-of-a-bitch, but...
"I just want you to know
that I could never
compete with you.
"And I just hope you know
how much I respect you.
"If I can ever be
half the husband
for my Charlotte
"that you've been
a father, then I...
"I'll die knowing
that I got it right."
You're gonna get that chance,
I promise you.
For inspiration.
I told you, I got a gift.
Otherworldly, you might say.
Here we go.
(TICKING)
(RUMBLING)
It's time.
Gateway is weaker
than I thought.
They'll break through
sooner than expected.
Bring 'em all in.
What do you want to do
about the RIPD?
OTIS: I got plans for them.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
Mabel! Mabel!
Help!
You stay down.
You stay calm.
Think of Charlotte!
Let me go with him.
Let me go with him!
We wanna go in! We wanna help!
NELL: I bet you do.
RIPD scum.
Hey, Joan, been a long time.
Still got this famous
blade of yours.
As ex-RIPD,
I can tell you what
these two really look like.
No.
I can see them.
I can see everything.
And I can tell you
it's too late for you
and your department,
I'm afraid.
Tomorrow your RIPD will be
useless against our numbers.
When the gateway opens wide,
deados will take over.
And I'm gonna rule over
them all as I turn Earth
into the tenth circle of Hell.
(LAUGHS)
Ah!
Just before dawn,
bring them in so that
I can throw them
into the abyss
before the gateway
closes once again.
And for someone
who hates fire
as much as you,
Jeanne D'Arc,
you'll be bathing in it
for all eternity.
(EXCLAIMS)
NELL: Whoa-ho. (CHUCKLES)
The irony
is so gloriously delicious.
(LAUGHS)
Do not let them
out of your sight.
Jeanne D'Arc? Joan?
445 years dead?
I think pretty quick
on my feet.
I figured it out.
You're...
Joan of Arc.
Wow.
Joan.
If it's all right with you,
I'm just gonna keep
calling you Jean.
Jeanne.
Jean, Jeanne, same thing.
Joan of Arc, first partner
this lone wolf
has ever really needed.
And I've enjoyed having you
as my fourth partner.
Roycephus.
Well, let's hope
those other three
are really with us,
'cause we're gonna need
all the help we can muster
to get the hell out of here.
(PEOPLE GRUNTING IN EFFORT)
NELL: Harder. Dig harder.
Get him up.
DEADO: Get up.
ANGUS: No, no, no.
Please, I can help.
Come on.
DEADO: Back to work!
(GRUNTING)
(YELPING)
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GROANING)
I can feel it now.
In three...
Two...
One.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(DEAD SOULS GROWLING)
(YELLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
ROY: So if they can get
this gateway open,
is there anything
that can close it?
Yes. But we'll need
to extinguish the hellfire.
Only one thing can do that.
During the Siege of Orleans,
when I was alive,
I broke ranks to assess
the damage done
to our houses of God...
God, have mercy
on their souls.
I discovered something
truly magnificent.
The Tears of Christ.
SLIM: Hey, y'all.
Room for one more
at this party?
Well, well, well.
Look what the cat
dragged in.
Didn't think
we'd see you again.
Shut up, Cooper.
You talk too much.
Mm. How does it feel being
on the "Royceiphing" end?
Oh, that's hers, ain't it?
Yeah.
It's big.
COOPER: Whoa. Take it easy.
Not after the way
she's treated me.
This is not
what's planned for her.
You don't wanna
go against orders.
Well, how about her, then?
I really feel like
shooting somebody.
I get that.
Oh, you do?
Well, that's great!
(EXCLAIMING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, do you trust me now?
So before I let you out,
I want you to promise me,
my soul gets a retrial.
I want my current
judgement revoked.
That's rare,
but not impossible.
You let us out,
and I'll see to it.
And you.
Before I let you out,
you need to see this.
Remember, Butterfield
owns a printing press,
and like I said,
I was framed.
I told you the bills
weren't official.
Butterfield had
them fake ones made.
Your beef is with him,
not me, Roycephus.
Call me Roy.
(GROWLING)
All right, listen to me.
We gotta try
and get out of here.
We gotta get
out right now!
No!
Daddy! No! (SOBS)
Please...
No!
He's gone!
He's been taken!
Look at me!
Your daddy's gone.
We have to go!
These tears need to be dropped
into the eye of the hellfire,
dead center in the gateway.
Only then will it seal,
sucking everything
in with it.
Means we gotta get
those humans out first.
Exactly.
Now go.
Uh, you're coming with.
I can't, Roy. I...
I just can't.
Go! Go!
Just stay with me.
You'll get out.
Just stay with me.
Come on!
I think I get it!
Don't look at them!
Avert your eyes!
Avert your eyes!
You've got fire in you
that's greater than anything
that ever came out of Hell.
You got this.
Come on, now!
Not a moment has passed
since I was burned
at the stake
that I have not heard
my own dying screams.
I can't do fire, Roy.
I'm sorry.
Bring me in.
Hey, partner.
You've been safeguarding
these for 445 years.
This is your moment.
Make them open their eyes!
Make them look!
I didn't call for them.
No choice,
the other one rebelled.
Took out Cooper and Brooks
before I got her.
What should I do
with this one?
Just throw him in!
Ready?
Mmm-hmm.
Set.
Mmm-hmm.
Go!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
ANGUS: This way. Come on.
Come on.
Go help Angus and the others.
I'm gonna find me this Otis.
Okay.
Close your eyes!
Close your eyes!
Come on, come on, come on!
Keep your eyes closed!
Go! Move!
Go! Go!
Watch out!
No!
Let's go! Come on!
(STRAINING)
Whoa!
(GRUNTING)
ROY: I get it. It's hot.
It's gonna get
a whole lot hotter.
JULIUS: Please. Please.
No, no, no, no...
Get out of here. Go!
(GRUNTING)
SLIM: Keep your eyes closed!
Keep your eyes closed!
Come on! Go!
Go! Feel!
(YELLS)
(GROWLING)
(CLAMORING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
We need to hold on.
(EXCLAIMS)
(SCREAMS)
Hold on!
(SIGHS)
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
ANGUS: Hey, it's over.
It's over.
That's some powerful tears
you got there.
And the wretched
are where they belong.
ROY: And Otis, too,
from the looks of it.
Thanks for showing up
when you did.
You didn't give me
much choice.
(STRAINING)
Little help, please.
Come on.
(BOTH STRAINING)
Oh, it's really in there.
JEANNE: Yes,
it's like the Earth
is tightened around it.
OTIS: Your interference
is really testing my patience.
Appears I'll have to wait
another 25 years
for this opportunity.
Astaroth!
As... What?
What's an Astaroth?
JEANNE: One-third
of the evil trinity.
The right hand
to the devil himself.
Until I rose to establish
my own throne here on Earth.
And you're not gonna
stop me this time!
(GROWLING)
JEANNE:
I've lost the tears, Roy.
I've got to get to my sword.
ROY: Hold on, now.
Look what got left behind.
Relax. I got this.
Hey, Asshole-roth!
(ASTAROTH LAUGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(YELLS)
(GROWLING)
(GASPS)
Nothing more humiliating
than having your soul taken
by your own weapon,
huh? (LAUGHS)
ROY: The tears.
Let there be something left.
(SCREECHING)
Eat your heart out,
Annie Oakley.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
JEANNE: I'm quite sure
Butterfield does not expect us
to settle our tab.
No, but we got
some unfinished business.
I never meant
to kill that Sheriff!
SLIM: Let's go.
Please.
You got to believe me.
SLIM: I found him cowering
under the bed.
Go on, tell him the truth!
When Otis took over my town,
I tried to escape.
Caught me a train
across the border.
Just so it happened,
them Samuel bandits
were working over Horseshoe
at the same time,
stealing more folks for Otis
as the train passed through.
I didn't want them Samuels
bringing me back.
So, when I fired that gun...
I thought I was shooting
one of them.
Butterfield!
No. No, come here.
Go on!
I knew he was there.
I knew he was the weakest.
I had them fake bills printed
in order to save my own hide.
Why do you women
even care so much
about that damn Sheriff?
I know what Marcus Aurelius
thinks about revenge.
But what does the Bible say,
and make it quick?
Roy, if I start quoting
the Bible, Butterfield
will die of old age.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
You know what to do.
I heard that
you lost your lawman
up there last night.
Is there anyone
that you or the town
wanna elect as new Sheriff?
Yes, there is.
Him.
Me?
Him?
And I'm going
to be his Deputy.
All right, then.
You saw firsthand
where you're gonna end up.
There ain't nothing worse
that I can to you than that.
Take him away. Lock him up.
Deputy.
Let's go!
Julius.
Ah!
Release me!
Deado outlaw...
...to deado lawman.
You've come
a long way, son.
I guess you've earned
the right for us to know
who you really are.
Should we call you Bumble?
No. Keep calling me Slim.
I intend on bringing
only honor to the name.
We'll come get you
when your soul's retrial
has been set.
But you step
out of line here,
and we'll be coming back
for a whole different reason.
Message Roy-ceiphed.
Well... (SIGHS)
I guess us ladies
need to go shopping
for a couple of dresses.
Because...
We cannot go
to my daughter's wedding
looking like this!
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Yeah, whatever that means!
It means, "Oh, my God!"
(BELLS TOLLING)
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you
Mr. and Mrs. Parker!
(ALL CHEERING)
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There they are.
Come on.
One second, one second.
Come on, come on.
Well, now.
Don't you two look
simply magnificent?
Good luck, Angus.
After today you'll face a far
greater challenge than Hell.
Marriage.
And you're gonna love
every second of it.
Uh... (CHUCKLES)
Are you okay, Mabel?
'Cause I didn't understand
a word that you just said.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I think my sister
must have burned
her tongue up there.
She said
she couldn't be happier
for you
and your beautiful wife.
CHARLOTTE:
I know I just met her,
but it feels like I've known
Mabel my whole life.
ANGUS: I know.
She is very...
...otherworldly.
ROY: So tell me why Angus
can't understand me now.
Because now
that you've approved
of your daughter's marriage,
your soul considers
Angus a loved one.
Hmm.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
So, uh, what are we gonna do
with these here horses?
Let them go.
They'll be here for us
whenever we need them.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
You know,
I've been thinking,
I get it.
You're RIPD
for the rest
of your afterlife.
Duty, honor, servitude
and all that.
But between you
and me and the fence post,
I reckon' I'm done.
As soon as we're done
with this shitty ride here,
I'm gonna tell Hano
to open up that portal
point me towards the sweet
warmth of eternal glory,
and send me on my way.
I want you to know,
I'm real glad to have served
with you and the RIPD,
partner.
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) What...
What's funny?
You didn't read
your contract, did you?
Hell, no. That thing
was thicker than Slim.
Well, eternal glory
does await you, Roy,
but only after
you served your minimum
100-year contract term.
One hundred years?
Mmm-hmm.
Looks like you and me
aren't done with each other
yet, partner.
Come on!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
(SPITS)
God damn it.
Sorry, boss.
What I meant to say was...
Damn it!