Raiders Of The Lost Shark (2015) Movie Script
-You're back!
-Yeah, took the short route.
This is the most god-awful
boring post I've ever had.
I'd kill you just
for something to do.
-What?
-Just kidding. Mostly.
What's up?
What do you mean?
You look like a kid with
your hand in the cookie jar.
You didn't.
Bring her out.
Hi.
Gary, you idiot,
if the boss knew
you brought a girl out
here, she'd skin you alive.
You're not gonna
tell her, are you?
Give me one good reason.
Easy. I brought
one for you too.
No, no no.
Hey, Gary.
Come on, Tyler.
There's nobody around.
We're guarding an empty lake.
Besides, me and Tracy
haven't seen each other
in almost a week.
Maybe we should go.
No!
We just want
to have some fun.
Alright, go ahead.
Aren't you coming?
Somebody's got
to mind the store.
Look, if this is gonna get
you into trouble, we'll leave.
Na, it's alright.
Aren't you going
to go with them?
-Three's a crowd
-Yeah. Coffee?
You come over here.
It's time for you to take
some of your medicine.
You're not the boss
of me. I'm Tyson!
Tyler.
What'd I tell you,
bro? Best idea ever.
I gotta tell you Gare, when
you're right you're right.
And brother, you're right.
Gary.
Don't worry, this
place is deserted.
Nobody ever comes here.
Besides, who's going to get
me in trouble, my supervisor?
-You know what?
-What?
-It's hot in here.
-You got that right.
No, I mean let's
get out of here.
You know I'm on the clock.
I can't just up and
leave the island.
Well then, let's
go under the stars then.
What do you think, Gare?
Can you handle
things without me?
Yeah. I got her covered.
Your romantic
evening awaits, my dear.
Such a gentleman!
Why can't you be a
gentleman like him?
Cuz you don't like gentlemen.
Yeah!
I guess, there?
Come on, lay down with me.
That water sure looks nice.
You look nice. Why
not come lie down with me?
No, I think I
wanna go for a swim.
A swim? But I brought bubbly
and a blanket and everything.
I'm sorry, what?
Come on, come for a swim!
Gary...
Wait for me!
You know, this isn't
so bad after all.
See, a woman knows best.
And if you're the kind
of guy I think you are
you'll recognize I'm boss.
Ungh!
You see, this is what
I'm talking about!
Quit messing around!
My horoscope was right,
you're no good for me.
Did you hear that?
You're no good for me!
If you don't show yourself in
five seconds we're through!
One... two... three...
It's about time
you smartened up.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST SHARK
I'm sorry that we're
boring you, Steven.
No not at all, Professor
Reynolds. I was just...
Having a dream? Well,
welcome back to reality.
-Sorry.
-Apology accepted.
Let's continue.
The megaladon was as species
of shark that originated
approximately
28 million years ago.
The sheer size of this
beast was staggering.
In some cases, up to and
over 60 feet in length.
-Professor Reynolds?
-Yes, Kim?
You said the shark originated
up to 28 million years ago?
That's right.
Well I was just wondering,
when did it become extinct?
There's speculation
that the creature died off
about 1.5 million years ago.
Speculation?
You don't think that this
could still exist, do you?
Professor Reynolds?
Sorry May. What
was your questions?
I was just wondering
about your thoughts
on the megaladon's extinction.
Do you think that
something like this
could still exist without
us knowing about it?
What about other
prehistoric sea life?
We know more about
the surface of the moon
than we do about the depths
of the oceans and the seas.
Reports of "submarine",
a 55 plus foot shark
feeding off the
coast of South Africa
are still being claimed today.
That's a big shark.
We've only just begun.
Tales of giant squid and octopus
have been reported for years
but only within the last
year have we actually
been able to record a
colossal squid in the wild.
We've only explored 5% of
what the oceans have to offer
and I don't think we
should close our minds
to the possibility
that maybe this,
or other prehistoric creatures,
could still exist today.
So, just because my speech took
up the majority of the class
does not mean that
the work falls behind.
I expect you all to read
chapters 5 through 7
for the next class and
write down what creatures
you think may still
be alive today.
Take into consideration
climate and food chain.
I look forward to reading
your responses on Monday.
Thank you everyone and
have a great weekend.
Gary, I don't see anything.
Do you have to yell so loud?
Geez, I think I drank too much.
What are you
yelling at me for?
For the love of
all that is holy
my head is about to explode!
Listen, Tyler and
Sarah never came back.
I need to get him
back to his post
before the next shift arrives.
Why is the sun so bright?
We'll have a science
lesson another time.
You're an ass!
Hey look, over there!
Check this out.
It doesn't match
what I'm wearing.
No, it's what
Tyler was wearing.
-You know what I think?
-What's that?
They probably finished off
a nice, romantic night
in each other's arms.
Clearly, they're nude
and I don't feel like rudely
waking up naked people.
I suppose I can't
argue with that.
You know what I do feel like?
What?
I'm going to freshen
up in the lake.
Mama.
You should come in
here, the water's amazing!
Best cure for a hangover!
I'm good, thanks.
So much for my big,
brave security guard boyfriend.
I'm not scared of the water
I just don't feel like
swimming right now.
Who are you trying to kid?
Kid, nothing. I'm just
a dry-ground kinda guy
in the morning, that's all.
Nice try, chicken!
So I'm a chicken, now?
A big chicken! A big
old hungover chicken!
You know when you
get back on dry ground
you're gonna get it, right?
I'm not the one
who's a big fat...
Tracy!
Tracy!
Tracy, where are you?
Tracy! Where are you?
Where the hell...
where the hell am I?
I gotta get out of here.
So you guys want to go to
Spaz's party tonight or what?
I don't know, Steve.
Spaz's parties get
pretty out of control.
Yeah, that's why we should
all go. It'll be a riot.
To be honest, I'm not a huge
fan of Spaz to begin with.
Why not?
Cuz he's a spaz, maybe?
Ok, so what do you
guys want to do tonight?
Any bright ideas?
Isn't Wiener having a party?
Even worse.
What was up with
Professor Reynolds today?
She seemed really out of it.
Like, she drifted
off five times.
She probably just needs a
weekend of rest and relaxation.
Works for me
whenever I tune out.
Yeah, you must get
a lot of rest then.
Shut up!
No seriously, did some
stuff happen to her?
Like, bad stuff when
she was a kid, maybe?
I bet it was the island.
Yeah, I heard about it
when I was in high school.
She and some friends
went out to this island
and stuff got all messed up.
Yeah, I heard about that.
I just didn't know
Reynolds was involved.
Yeah, she was
the only survivor.
-Knock it off.
-Wait, what?
Come on, you have to
fill me in on this.
The only survivor?
Fill us, I want to
hear this story too.
Ok, so here's what
I heard happened:
Apparently there's this
company out on Murphy's Island
doing some research
or something.
Word is, something
happened there.
Something terrible.
Come on, really?
Well, not like a curse
or anything, but her sister
got killed and so did a bunch
of people working there.
She was the only survivor
and she hasn't been
the same since.
That's insane, I wonder
what could have done it.
Judging by the
way she was today
it was probably some
big-ass shark or something.
Whatever.
That's what we should do!
What's that?
We should totally check
out Murphy's Island!
Didn't I just tell you?
I don't know, it kind
of sounds exciting.
Kim, not you! I thought
you'd be cool about this.
You don't really believe
all that nonsense, do you?
No no, it's ok, maybe
we'll find Bigfoot
and he can help us
row to the island.
Or we could just ride the
Loch Ness monster there!
So are you
coming, May or what?
Are you scared?
Come on, you really think
that's going to work on me?
I'm counting on it.
Well,
you are correct.
You can count me in, guys.
Awesome! Looks like it's
gonna be an adventure weekend.
Just Steven and the ladies.
No.
Anyone got a microbus?
This is going
to be so awesome!
Rachel. You're right,
the guardhouse is empty.
If those bozos ducked
out early again...
They didn't.
How do you know?
Crap, they didn't.
They did.
-Dumbass!
-For sure.
Dragon Lady is going to
want to know about this.
You have to call it in.
Don't let her hear
you call her that.
Patch me through to the
boss, please. Code Red.
Ma'am, your worst fears
have been confirmed.
Both of them?
Yes, ma'am.
Those idiots!
Yes, ma'am.
I told them to stay
away from the water!
It gets worse.
How can it
possibly get any worse?
It looks like they had dates.
Ma'am?
Ma'am, what would
you like us to do?
Collect all the evidence.
The geeks may find
something in that mess
and bring it all back here.
Understood.
Well, what did she say?
She wants you to
collect all the evidence
while I check the perimeter.
Really? How?
I don't know, grab
some garbage bags
from the guardhouse
or something.
Snap to it!
Laura!
What?
-What's that?
-Where?
There!
My god, there's
somebody alive out there!
We've got to get him
out of the water!
Get out of the
water, it's not safe!
-Where did he go?
-He was just there!
You're going to have
to go in and check.
-What?
-Go in and check.
He's gone!
There he is! Go!
We're sending someone
out to save you!
Dammit
Don't worry, buddy. Hold on.
Hey, where the hell did you go?
What the hell!?
Where's the rest of you?!
Fake! He was using a fake!
-Janet?
-Hello, Carly.
Or do we go by Professor
Reynolds these days?
Carly's fine. What are you...
I mean, why are you here?
It's about the island.
The island. What about it?
I haven't spoken to or
said anything to anyone.
I know, I know. Relax, Carly.
And as long as it stays that
way, we'll be just fine.
I'm here for business.
We're in need of your expertise.
My expertise?
Yes. You know what.
Captain? Captain, wake up!
What? What the hell?
Captain, we just got a call
that might be of
interest to you.
You show me the
respect I am due.
You call me sheriff.
But captain, first
of all, this is Canada
we don't have sheriffs
up here, and secondly...
Secondly, you call me sheriff
or you will no
longer be my deputy,
you'll go back to being
simply my brother-in-law.
Don't forget this post is a
favor to my wife, after all.
Sheriff,
sheriff, we just got a call
that might interest you.
That's more like
it. What kind of call?
Apparently, a pair of
townies have gone missing.
We just got a pair of frantic
phone calls from their parents
Townies?
A couple of women
from down at the tavern.
Apparently, they were going
to hang out with these fellas
and have a party but
they never came home.
Great. I bet they just
can't hold their liquor.
I'm sure we'll
find them sleeping
in a car at the
side of the road.
Apparently one of the ladies
is dating a guard that
works down at the island.
Well, if they
ended up there
it's the Dragon Lady's problem.
She has her own security
force, let them deal with it.
But captain, sheriff...
I'll tell you what we do:
you go make a few phone
calls, see if the girls
ended up at any of
their friend's houses.
I'm going to sit back,
put my feet up on my desk
and read the National Geographic
just for the pictures.
Do you catch my drift?
I hear you loud
and clear, sheriff.
Attaboy.
So is this where
seaweed is born?
You guys got
everything you need?
I think we're good.
So this guy, we're just
supposed to meet him here?
Who's this, and the what now?
I kinda charted a boat
to take us to the island.
How in the hell?
I just let my
fingers do the walking
and called the guy
who charters his boat.
He sounds like a crusty
old seaman on the phone
but he's got a boat
and he promised
to take us to the island.
This is crazy.
They're going to hear us
coming from miles away.
Don't sweat it.
With our luck, it'll
probably be a row boat.
That is not cool, man.
I am not rowing a boat.
I'm not
doing any rowing either.
Come on, guys. Let's move.
I said we'd meet him
down by the docks.
Alright.
So, let me
understand this correctly.
You're telling me there's a
killer shark on the loose.
Well, we're not sure
yet, but if there is
we'll need someone
with your skill set.
So we figured, rather than
start again with someone new
You want someone who's seen
or killed one of these
before, am I right?
Well, in maybe
less colorful words, yes.
But there's a lot more to this
than just finding a shark.
What else could there be?
So far you haven't exactly
sold me on this idea.
What if I were to
tell you that there
is a somewhat prehistoric
element to all of this?
I'd tell you you're
watching too many bad movies.
I'm dead serious
about this, Carly!
A week ago, we discovered an
underwater cave while drilling.
A cave?
Yes, a cave,
which we now believe
had remained untouched
for thousands of years.
Go on.
Anyway, something got out.
I don't like
where this is going.
We sent a couple of divers in
to examine the cave
after the drilling
and they never came out.
Go on.
More recently, some
of our security guards
went missing after swimming
in the lake, presumed dead.
Goddammit!
How do I put this?
I think we released
a killer shark.
Dammit, Janet, you
continue to drill
in that lake even after
what happened to my sister?
We figured it was a long shot
that something like
this would happen again.
Well, you rolled
the dice and lost.
Will you help me?
What do you want me to do?
Identify the problem
for sure, to start with.
If it isn't a shark,
we need to know.
And if it is, you need
to tell us what to do
to get rid of it.
I don't know about this.
I know this must be difficult,
but we really need you.
I know, it's just that...
I'm sorry about your sister.
I know this is hard.
Are you Captain Stubing?
It's Steuben. Captain Steuben.
What can I do for
you, young lady?
I'm May. I'm your
charter for today.
We spoke on the phone earlier?
So you're the one
that wants to go
to the forbidden island, are ya?
I guess so. Why
is it forbidden?
It's all because
of the shark, miss.
These sharks aren't
like normal sharks.
These sharks are filled
with hate and piss and fire.
Look Captain, I don't
believe these bogus stories
about dino-sharks or whatever
they're supposed to be.
I've studied sharks and
they can't possibly hate.
They're creatures of habit
and instinct and that's it.
Let me tell ya
something about sharks
you can't read about in
any books, young lady.
These sharks, they can hunt.
They can reason
and they can kill
with a vengeance
in their hearts.
It was a shark
that took my hand.
But you still have
both of your hands.
This
isn't my hand!
Can we get going now, or...?
So what exactly do
you expect me to do?
All in due time.
It was great
catching up with you.
I'm glad you're doing so well.
Yeah, I guess.
Let's get the formalities
out of the way first, shall we?
Sure.
These are pretty
straightforward.
You're simply
signing that you will
in no way discuss
what goes on here.
What exactly am I
getting myself into?
You simply sign and we
pay you to keep quiet.
Good. Let's get
started, shall we?
# Baby you're tryin to
hurt me when I'm down
# And baby you know my
heart's been kicked around
# Well too much of you is
what's been getting to me
# And I don't want
to hear you're sorry
# Well I can't stand it
# Frustration makes me blue
# But I'm so glad I'm
getting rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Baby you lied and
you took me for a ride
# Well I can't tell ya
how much that hurt inside
# Well if I can't take it
there's one thing I can do
# And I will start
by getting rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringing
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm getting rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
Sheriff! More news!
What, is
this about the townies?
No, sir. This is
about some tourists.
Well I certainly
hope it was worth
interrupting my
mid-afternoon nap.
A couple visiting from Quebec.
The husband claims that
the wife was killed.
Please tell me he
confessed so that we can
just slap the cuffs on him and
be home in time for Jeopardy.
He says she was
killed by a shark.
-A shark?!
-A shark.
Where was the couple
when this shark attacked?
McDonald's Landing.
Near the island.
Why do you always
call it an island?
Technically, it's a peninsula.
Either way, I have a feeling
we've got a lot of
bad coming our way.
I'll put some coffee on.
You do that,
deputy. You do that.
So what we need to do
is get you to the island
and see if we can
identify the problem.
Loud noises work well.
I beg your pardon?
Loud noises, like explosives.
It could bring whatever's in
the water up to the surface.
Perfect!
But hold on a second,
I'm not a shark hunter.
I'm a fish expert who
knows a little bit about...
Think of it as an adventure.
Besides, we're not even
sure that it's a shark.
Come on, this way.
What is this place?
This is Rodney. He
monitors, well everything.
Is that the island?
Yeah that's...
Yes, it is. And that's why
we keep him in this room.
Can you pause that
screen right there?
What do we have here?
Where is that? Are
they going to the island?
No no, they aren't going,
that's not on the island,
that's on, that's on,
Where the hell is it?
That's on the
other side, madam.
I suppose they'd
be going there.
Thank you.
I hope they aren't
planning on doing
what it looks like they're doing
with all this shark nonsense.
My god, those
are my students.
Live bait.
So, I don't mean to sound
like an impatient child...
Then don't say it.
But are we there yet?
Kimberly, can you just
enjoy the relaxing boat ride?
The sun is shining,
the birds are chirping
and old geezers are
free to walk outside.
Present company
excluded, of course.
I like walking.
Yeah Kim, just chill.
-Yeah.
-Sorry.
I just get a little bit
uneasy when I'm in the middle
of a huge body of water and
I'm nowhere near the shore.
I sure hope the
captain's smarter than he looks.
You
and me both, sister.
Anybody want a bag
of complimentary nuts?
Yar.
Come on
let's go, let's go!
What's the big deal?
When you've seen one beach,
you've seen them all.
Easy for you to say, I
had to work days all summer.
I didn't get to go to the beach.
What are you doing?
I'm going swimming.
What did you think I was
going to do at the beach?
Maybe take a walk?
You're not going in there,
that water's freezing.
I'm totally
going in the water.
Whatever.
Come one, it'll be
fun! It'll be fun.
I'm not getting in there.
Come on, don't be a wimp.
Me, a wimp?
What's the problem, tough guy?
The problem is,
I'm like 1% body fat.
My body doesn't
agree with the cold.
I'll freeze!
Whatever, I'm going in.
What about the fish?
What about the fish?
You know those little
bastards that nip you
at your toes in the water?
What's the point of
having all that muscle
if you're afraid
of fish and water?
I'm not afraid of fish.
I just said I didn't like them.
Come on, what have
fish ever done to you?
Flying shark?
Flying shark!
I have to get out there.
I have to save those kids!
We'll get you
there right away.
We have a small plane that's
fueling up as we speak.
We can leave immediately.
Boss? There's
something you should see.
What is it?
Terror grips the town tonight
in what seems to be a
series of deadly attacks.
What the hell is this
about? We have to go.
Hold on.
A tourist from Quebec
reports that his wife
was killed today
at a local beach.
Killed by a shark.
Dammit!
Initially written
off as a false report
this story has taken flight
due to a second shark attack.
A woman reports
that her boyfriend
was also killed by a shark.
Two couples with a
very similar attack?
More on this story
at six o'clock.
Local beaches? Really, Janet?
I thought you said the shark
was contained to the lake?
There are some access
points that join the lake
to some outside bodies of water
but those points are
heavily secured by fences.
Rodney?
Checking now.
It appears that all access
points have been breached.
This is not good.
Yeah, I would say not.
This is a lakeside
community, Janet.
Now that shark has the
run of the whole town.
We really need
your help, Carly.
I'll do what I can, but you
have to get me up there first.
Five bottles
of beer on the boat
five bottles of
beer! Take one down
pass it around
Captain?
Four bottles of
beer on the boat!
-Captain!
-Four bottles of beer
on the boat, four
bottles of beer!
-Captain.
-Take one down
pass it around
Captain!
Three bottles of
beer on the boat!
Shut
up! Just stop singing!
It's my boat, it's my rules.
Now where was I?
You made me lose my place.
I'm going to have to
start all over again.
One thousand bottles
of beer on the boat
one thousand bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around!
What the hell was that?
I think we hit something!
There's nothing here to hit.
Let me take a look-see.
Be careful.
Don't worry your pretty
little head, missy.
Kimberly!
Hold on!
Kim, swim towards the boat!
No, don't! Swim
towards the shore!
There's something by the boat!
Hello? Professor
Reynolds, is that you?
Please help us!
Kim is gonna make it!
My god!
Professor! Professor,
you have to send help!
The shark just got
Kimberly! What do we do?
Stay together, don't
move. Get closer!
What's she saying?
Something about...
don't stay together.
My god, split up!
No, stay together!
No, stay together!
She said stay together!
Dammit!
Steven! Steven!
Swim! Get to shore
while its busy feeding.
Sit tight,
May. Help is coming.
Janet, we've run out of time.
We have to get there.
I told you, my people are
already filling up the plane.
Well, isn't
there a faster way?
If you think you can run
there any faster, be my guest.
Dammit, this is
history repeating itself.
Just like what
happened to my sister.
This is the life.
I know?
The water looks great?
Yep, the perfect day.
Such an amazing day for sure.
What the-? You freak!
I'm sorry,
I couldn't resist.
You were so out of it.
Well, I'm not out of it now.
What the heck is this stuff?
Sunblock.
Now you won't burn that forehead
of yours like you always do
You're nuts, you know that?
Quit complaining
and go wash it off.
Three years of
university paying off right now.
-Shut up.
-Whatever.
You know you could have
gotten some in my eye.
You know
you coulda got some in my eye.
Dammit Carly, I told you
I'd get something in my eye.
Stop being such a big baby.
Just dunk your head in the
water, it'll rinse right out.
Pass me my towel, would you?
I still can't see.
Fine, I'll get
it you big baby.
Alright, let's stop
horsing around.
We have some work to do.
Like I'm the one
horsing around.
Look I know, but let's
collect the sample we need.
Once we figure out if
there was any drilling
that was done here then
we can call it a job done.
Fine. Pass me a test tube.
Ta da!
Rita!
What?
Carly? Carly!
Let's get to the landing strip.
The plane will be
there when we arrive.
Let's go.
Sheriff, sheriff!
A shark.
You guessed it.
This story's pretty
weird though.
Weirder than shark
attacks on a lake?
A man and a woman
were walking on the waterfront
and the woman says the
man was eaten by a shark.
So what's so weird about that?
She was in the
water. He was on land!
Come again?
She said he was eaten
by a flying shark!
Flying shark? Well now
I've heard everything.
What should we do, sheriff?
Should we go close the beaches?
Round up a posse?
One thing at a time, deputy.
First things first,
help me find my pants.
Yes, sir.
Then we'll go
down to that island
and find out what
the hell's going on!
Penninsula.
Kim, Steven. The phone!
I have wifi here!
I have wifi here?
This is a really good phone.
Come on. Crap.
Come on May, you can do this.
Keep it together.
Just keep it together.
My gosh!
Hello? Hello?
The what?
Hello there.
I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to frighten you.
Who are you?
I'm Howell and
this is my island.
Your island?
But there's a shark here.
It killed my friends.
I know, that would be mine.
Yours?
Yeah, but don't worry.
It's genetically engineered
and slightly radioactive.
It's likely going
to be dead soon.
What are you even doing here?
Experiments.
You're experimenting
on sharks?
They are beautiful creatures
but I made them better.
No, they kill people.
No no, they are nature's
most perfect machine.
Perfect machine?
You bet they are.
They can smell one part per
million of blood in sea water.
They can hear their prey
from many kilometers away.
They can even detect the
electromagnetic field
that all living
creatures create.
Electromagnetic?
That's right.,
the shark has got
the greatest electrical
sensitivity of any animal.
They can find their
hidden prey by simply
detecting the electric
field that they produce.
I gotta get off this island.
It ain't gonna happen.
Is that blood on your hands?
I need your help.
What do you mean?
My masterpiece is ready.
No, you're crazy.
That's what Janet
said, I'm crazy.
And in a sane world it's
the crazy man who's king.
Behold, the next step in
the evolution of the shark!
This is horrible.
We need to call
the National Guard.
But this is Canada, we
don't have a National Guard.
What are we gonna do?
How many
victims do you need
to qualify as a crisis?
I don't know, three or four?
I think we're good.
I have to admit Janet,
that was a pretty nice plane.
I know, it cost me enough.
Did you hear that?
Yes.
Is that a flying shark?
My god!
My plane!
Professor Reynolds!
May! May.
I'm so glad to see you.
-Are you ok?
-Yeah.
Kim? Steven?
The shark, we fell
in the water and...
It's ok, I'll get
you off this island
and I'll make those
responsible pay.
We need to move.
Who's this?
May, meet Janet, the one
responsible for all of this.
You bitch.
No May, it's not the time.
But Kim and Steven...
I hate to break this up...
Then don't. She
needs a moment.
We may not have one.
Shit, we need
to get out of here.
Janet, which way?
I don't know!
I own the island but I've
never been here before.
There was a creepy
guy back the way I came.
Then let's head that way.
But he did this.
Yeah, so he may know how
to get us off the island.
Let's go.
-May!
-Over here.
What happened? Where did it go?
I don't know.
Come on, let's go.
Janet? Janet!
I think she fell
down that hill.
Dammit Janet.
What do we do now?
We have to find that guy.
He'll know how to get
us off the island.
Ok, well he was back this way.
Okay.
Carly? May?
Hell, Janet.
Brad.
What are you doing here?
I own this island, remember?
No you don't,
you sold it to me.
Your check bounced.
Doesn't matter. I don't
work for you anymore.
Wait a minute.
You did it, didn't you?
You made the formula work.
Well that would
seem pretty clear.
Wait dammit!
I want you to come
back and work for me.
After what you did? No way.
I can change that.
Anything you want, I
can make it happen.
It doesn't matter.
I don't trust you.
I asked you for one
thing and one thing only
and you laughed at me. Me!
The most brilliant
scientist on your staff
and you humiliated me
in front of everyone.
Well, no more.
-What?
-We have to kill it.
It's happening all over again!
Ok, we'll kill it.
Where's my bag?
Watch the skies.
Why is there never a cop
around when you need one?
Shouldn't we be
doing something?
We are. We're
securing the beach.
-The sky.
-Right.
May, are you alright?
Yeah. You get the
number of that truck?
Well I see you didn't
damage your sense of humor.
Screw it, you're
my responsibility
and I'm going to get
you off this island.
I won't let what happened
to my sister happen to you.
Can you walk?
Help me up and I'll dance.
Yeah, forget what I said
about your sense of humor.
I thought it was funny.
Sorry ladies, but you're
not going anywhere.
There's my baby.
You can't do that!
Yeah, I think I
can. Right, Janet?
I knew it!
I knew this is what
you wanted all along.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Thank god, Janet.
Don't thank me yet.
You were right about one thing:
that fish needs to die
and you're just
the one to do it.
No, it's too dangerous.
We have to get off this island.
There's no boat.
Yeah there is.
I have one on the other
side of the island.
A really nice 30-foot
pleasure craft.
Radio, GPS, even a jacuzzi.
All the bells and whistles.
What?
Alright, let's go before
the shark comes back
while we still have a chance.
No. We're killing it.
You're killing it, so grab
your gear and go hunting.
Ok, don't hurt anyone.
You better not miss.
No, you can't do this.
It's a monster,
it has to be killed.
No!
She's right, the
fish has to die.
No, not my baby!
Hey, give it back!
Janet.
Brad. Why did I marry you?
Because I said yes.
May, how did you know?
Well, I saw him
fiddling with this
when we heard the shark come
and then I remembered
what he said
about shark's having an
electromagnetic sensitivity.
So I just figured,
maybe he was using this
to hide his
electromagnetic field.
May, that was brilliant!
I don't care what they say
about you, that was brilliant.
Thanks, I just... wait, what?
Let's go before
the shark comes back.
What do they say about me?
Professor, we can use
this to hide from the shark
while we look for Howell's boat.
We're not going, are we.
I hate to admit it
but Janet was right.
We need to kill this thing.
-But...
-No buts. Stay hidden.
Come on out, you flying fish!
You've had your dinner
now have your dessert.
Professor Reynolds?
May, no!
-It's coming.
-May, what have you done?
It won't come unless
it smells blood.
Professor?
It's been a blast.
Chief, I mean sheriff, look!
Well look at that.
Do you think that's
the flying shark
everyone's been talking about?
I reckon so.
Cool!
You did it!
We did it.
Now what?
We find Howell's boat
and we go home.
You know, you did really
good figuring out
that electromagnetic thing.
Thanks, you weren't so bad
with that action hero bit.
Thanks. Did you finish
your homework for Monday?
# Baby tryin to hurt
me when I'm down
# And baby you know my
heart's been kicked around
# Well too much of you
# Is what's been getting to me
# And I don't want
to hear you're sorry
# Well I can't stand it
# Frustration makes me blue
# But I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Baby you lied and
you took me for a ride
# Well I can't tell ya
how much that hurt inside
# Well if I can't take it
there's one thing I can do
# And I will start
by gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
# I won't tell ya
all the things you do
# Cuz talk is cheap
and honey so are you
# Well I hope this
is really killing you
# Cuz I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
# Baby you said your
love could show me more
# Well I only know that
you bit right to the core
# Now I've got one more
thing to say to you
# And that's I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# Ooooh #
-Yeah, took the short route.
This is the most god-awful
boring post I've ever had.
I'd kill you just
for something to do.
-What?
-Just kidding. Mostly.
What's up?
What do you mean?
You look like a kid with
your hand in the cookie jar.
You didn't.
Bring her out.
Hi.
Gary, you idiot,
if the boss knew
you brought a girl out
here, she'd skin you alive.
You're not gonna
tell her, are you?
Give me one good reason.
Easy. I brought
one for you too.
No, no no.
Hey, Gary.
Come on, Tyler.
There's nobody around.
We're guarding an empty lake.
Besides, me and Tracy
haven't seen each other
in almost a week.
Maybe we should go.
No!
We just want
to have some fun.
Alright, go ahead.
Aren't you coming?
Somebody's got
to mind the store.
Look, if this is gonna get
you into trouble, we'll leave.
Na, it's alright.
Aren't you going
to go with them?
-Three's a crowd
-Yeah. Coffee?
You come over here.
It's time for you to take
some of your medicine.
You're not the boss
of me. I'm Tyson!
Tyler.
What'd I tell you,
bro? Best idea ever.
I gotta tell you Gare, when
you're right you're right.
And brother, you're right.
Gary.
Don't worry, this
place is deserted.
Nobody ever comes here.
Besides, who's going to get
me in trouble, my supervisor?
-You know what?
-What?
-It's hot in here.
-You got that right.
No, I mean let's
get out of here.
You know I'm on the clock.
I can't just up and
leave the island.
Well then, let's
go under the stars then.
What do you think, Gare?
Can you handle
things without me?
Yeah. I got her covered.
Your romantic
evening awaits, my dear.
Such a gentleman!
Why can't you be a
gentleman like him?
Cuz you don't like gentlemen.
Yeah!
I guess, there?
Come on, lay down with me.
That water sure looks nice.
You look nice. Why
not come lie down with me?
No, I think I
wanna go for a swim.
A swim? But I brought bubbly
and a blanket and everything.
I'm sorry, what?
Come on, come for a swim!
Gary...
Wait for me!
You know, this isn't
so bad after all.
See, a woman knows best.
And if you're the kind
of guy I think you are
you'll recognize I'm boss.
Ungh!
You see, this is what
I'm talking about!
Quit messing around!
My horoscope was right,
you're no good for me.
Did you hear that?
You're no good for me!
If you don't show yourself in
five seconds we're through!
One... two... three...
It's about time
you smartened up.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST SHARK
I'm sorry that we're
boring you, Steven.
No not at all, Professor
Reynolds. I was just...
Having a dream? Well,
welcome back to reality.
-Sorry.
-Apology accepted.
Let's continue.
The megaladon was as species
of shark that originated
approximately
28 million years ago.
The sheer size of this
beast was staggering.
In some cases, up to and
over 60 feet in length.
-Professor Reynolds?
-Yes, Kim?
You said the shark originated
up to 28 million years ago?
That's right.
Well I was just wondering,
when did it become extinct?
There's speculation
that the creature died off
about 1.5 million years ago.
Speculation?
You don't think that this
could still exist, do you?
Professor Reynolds?
Sorry May. What
was your questions?
I was just wondering
about your thoughts
on the megaladon's extinction.
Do you think that
something like this
could still exist without
us knowing about it?
What about other
prehistoric sea life?
We know more about
the surface of the moon
than we do about the depths
of the oceans and the seas.
Reports of "submarine",
a 55 plus foot shark
feeding off the
coast of South Africa
are still being claimed today.
That's a big shark.
We've only just begun.
Tales of giant squid and octopus
have been reported for years
but only within the last
year have we actually
been able to record a
colossal squid in the wild.
We've only explored 5% of
what the oceans have to offer
and I don't think we
should close our minds
to the possibility
that maybe this,
or other prehistoric creatures,
could still exist today.
So, just because my speech took
up the majority of the class
does not mean that
the work falls behind.
I expect you all to read
chapters 5 through 7
for the next class and
write down what creatures
you think may still
be alive today.
Take into consideration
climate and food chain.
I look forward to reading
your responses on Monday.
Thank you everyone and
have a great weekend.
Gary, I don't see anything.
Do you have to yell so loud?
Geez, I think I drank too much.
What are you
yelling at me for?
For the love of
all that is holy
my head is about to explode!
Listen, Tyler and
Sarah never came back.
I need to get him
back to his post
before the next shift arrives.
Why is the sun so bright?
We'll have a science
lesson another time.
You're an ass!
Hey look, over there!
Check this out.
It doesn't match
what I'm wearing.
No, it's what
Tyler was wearing.
-You know what I think?
-What's that?
They probably finished off
a nice, romantic night
in each other's arms.
Clearly, they're nude
and I don't feel like rudely
waking up naked people.
I suppose I can't
argue with that.
You know what I do feel like?
What?
I'm going to freshen
up in the lake.
Mama.
You should come in
here, the water's amazing!
Best cure for a hangover!
I'm good, thanks.
So much for my big,
brave security guard boyfriend.
I'm not scared of the water
I just don't feel like
swimming right now.
Who are you trying to kid?
Kid, nothing. I'm just
a dry-ground kinda guy
in the morning, that's all.
Nice try, chicken!
So I'm a chicken, now?
A big chicken! A big
old hungover chicken!
You know when you
get back on dry ground
you're gonna get it, right?
I'm not the one
who's a big fat...
Tracy!
Tracy!
Tracy, where are you?
Tracy! Where are you?
Where the hell...
where the hell am I?
I gotta get out of here.
So you guys want to go to
Spaz's party tonight or what?
I don't know, Steve.
Spaz's parties get
pretty out of control.
Yeah, that's why we should
all go. It'll be a riot.
To be honest, I'm not a huge
fan of Spaz to begin with.
Why not?
Cuz he's a spaz, maybe?
Ok, so what do you
guys want to do tonight?
Any bright ideas?
Isn't Wiener having a party?
Even worse.
What was up with
Professor Reynolds today?
She seemed really out of it.
Like, she drifted
off five times.
She probably just needs a
weekend of rest and relaxation.
Works for me
whenever I tune out.
Yeah, you must get
a lot of rest then.
Shut up!
No seriously, did some
stuff happen to her?
Like, bad stuff when
she was a kid, maybe?
I bet it was the island.
Yeah, I heard about it
when I was in high school.
She and some friends
went out to this island
and stuff got all messed up.
Yeah, I heard about that.
I just didn't know
Reynolds was involved.
Yeah, she was
the only survivor.
-Knock it off.
-Wait, what?
Come on, you have to
fill me in on this.
The only survivor?
Fill us, I want to
hear this story too.
Ok, so here's what
I heard happened:
Apparently there's this
company out on Murphy's Island
doing some research
or something.
Word is, something
happened there.
Something terrible.
Come on, really?
Well, not like a curse
or anything, but her sister
got killed and so did a bunch
of people working there.
She was the only survivor
and she hasn't been
the same since.
That's insane, I wonder
what could have done it.
Judging by the
way she was today
it was probably some
big-ass shark or something.
Whatever.
That's what we should do!
What's that?
We should totally check
out Murphy's Island!
Didn't I just tell you?
I don't know, it kind
of sounds exciting.
Kim, not you! I thought
you'd be cool about this.
You don't really believe
all that nonsense, do you?
No no, it's ok, maybe
we'll find Bigfoot
and he can help us
row to the island.
Or we could just ride the
Loch Ness monster there!
So are you
coming, May or what?
Are you scared?
Come on, you really think
that's going to work on me?
I'm counting on it.
Well,
you are correct.
You can count me in, guys.
Awesome! Looks like it's
gonna be an adventure weekend.
Just Steven and the ladies.
No.
Anyone got a microbus?
This is going
to be so awesome!
Rachel. You're right,
the guardhouse is empty.
If those bozos ducked
out early again...
They didn't.
How do you know?
Crap, they didn't.
They did.
-Dumbass!
-For sure.
Dragon Lady is going to
want to know about this.
You have to call it in.
Don't let her hear
you call her that.
Patch me through to the
boss, please. Code Red.
Ma'am, your worst fears
have been confirmed.
Both of them?
Yes, ma'am.
Those idiots!
Yes, ma'am.
I told them to stay
away from the water!
It gets worse.
How can it
possibly get any worse?
It looks like they had dates.
Ma'am?
Ma'am, what would
you like us to do?
Collect all the evidence.
The geeks may find
something in that mess
and bring it all back here.
Understood.
Well, what did she say?
She wants you to
collect all the evidence
while I check the perimeter.
Really? How?
I don't know, grab
some garbage bags
from the guardhouse
or something.
Snap to it!
Laura!
What?
-What's that?
-Where?
There!
My god, there's
somebody alive out there!
We've got to get him
out of the water!
Get out of the
water, it's not safe!
-Where did he go?
-He was just there!
You're going to have
to go in and check.
-What?
-Go in and check.
He's gone!
There he is! Go!
We're sending someone
out to save you!
Dammit
Don't worry, buddy. Hold on.
Hey, where the hell did you go?
What the hell!?
Where's the rest of you?!
Fake! He was using a fake!
-Janet?
-Hello, Carly.
Or do we go by Professor
Reynolds these days?
Carly's fine. What are you...
I mean, why are you here?
It's about the island.
The island. What about it?
I haven't spoken to or
said anything to anyone.
I know, I know. Relax, Carly.
And as long as it stays that
way, we'll be just fine.
I'm here for business.
We're in need of your expertise.
My expertise?
Yes. You know what.
Captain? Captain, wake up!
What? What the hell?
Captain, we just got a call
that might be of
interest to you.
You show me the
respect I am due.
You call me sheriff.
But captain, first
of all, this is Canada
we don't have sheriffs
up here, and secondly...
Secondly, you call me sheriff
or you will no
longer be my deputy,
you'll go back to being
simply my brother-in-law.
Don't forget this post is a
favor to my wife, after all.
Sheriff,
sheriff, we just got a call
that might interest you.
That's more like
it. What kind of call?
Apparently, a pair of
townies have gone missing.
We just got a pair of frantic
phone calls from their parents
Townies?
A couple of women
from down at the tavern.
Apparently, they were going
to hang out with these fellas
and have a party but
they never came home.
Great. I bet they just
can't hold their liquor.
I'm sure we'll
find them sleeping
in a car at the
side of the road.
Apparently one of the ladies
is dating a guard that
works down at the island.
Well, if they
ended up there
it's the Dragon Lady's problem.
She has her own security
force, let them deal with it.
But captain, sheriff...
I'll tell you what we do:
you go make a few phone
calls, see if the girls
ended up at any of
their friend's houses.
I'm going to sit back,
put my feet up on my desk
and read the National Geographic
just for the pictures.
Do you catch my drift?
I hear you loud
and clear, sheriff.
Attaboy.
So is this where
seaweed is born?
You guys got
everything you need?
I think we're good.
So this guy, we're just
supposed to meet him here?
Who's this, and the what now?
I kinda charted a boat
to take us to the island.
How in the hell?
I just let my
fingers do the walking
and called the guy
who charters his boat.
He sounds like a crusty
old seaman on the phone
but he's got a boat
and he promised
to take us to the island.
This is crazy.
They're going to hear us
coming from miles away.
Don't sweat it.
With our luck, it'll
probably be a row boat.
That is not cool, man.
I am not rowing a boat.
I'm not
doing any rowing either.
Come on, guys. Let's move.
I said we'd meet him
down by the docks.
Alright.
So, let me
understand this correctly.
You're telling me there's a
killer shark on the loose.
Well, we're not sure
yet, but if there is
we'll need someone
with your skill set.
So we figured, rather than
start again with someone new
You want someone who's seen
or killed one of these
before, am I right?
Well, in maybe
less colorful words, yes.
But there's a lot more to this
than just finding a shark.
What else could there be?
So far you haven't exactly
sold me on this idea.
What if I were to
tell you that there
is a somewhat prehistoric
element to all of this?
I'd tell you you're
watching too many bad movies.
I'm dead serious
about this, Carly!
A week ago, we discovered an
underwater cave while drilling.
A cave?
Yes, a cave,
which we now believe
had remained untouched
for thousands of years.
Go on.
Anyway, something got out.
I don't like
where this is going.
We sent a couple of divers in
to examine the cave
after the drilling
and they never came out.
Go on.
More recently, some
of our security guards
went missing after swimming
in the lake, presumed dead.
Goddammit!
How do I put this?
I think we released
a killer shark.
Dammit, Janet, you
continue to drill
in that lake even after
what happened to my sister?
We figured it was a long shot
that something like
this would happen again.
Well, you rolled
the dice and lost.
Will you help me?
What do you want me to do?
Identify the problem
for sure, to start with.
If it isn't a shark,
we need to know.
And if it is, you need
to tell us what to do
to get rid of it.
I don't know about this.
I know this must be difficult,
but we really need you.
I know, it's just that...
I'm sorry about your sister.
I know this is hard.
Are you Captain Stubing?
It's Steuben. Captain Steuben.
What can I do for
you, young lady?
I'm May. I'm your
charter for today.
We spoke on the phone earlier?
So you're the one
that wants to go
to the forbidden island, are ya?
I guess so. Why
is it forbidden?
It's all because
of the shark, miss.
These sharks aren't
like normal sharks.
These sharks are filled
with hate and piss and fire.
Look Captain, I don't
believe these bogus stories
about dino-sharks or whatever
they're supposed to be.
I've studied sharks and
they can't possibly hate.
They're creatures of habit
and instinct and that's it.
Let me tell ya
something about sharks
you can't read about in
any books, young lady.
These sharks, they can hunt.
They can reason
and they can kill
with a vengeance
in their hearts.
It was a shark
that took my hand.
But you still have
both of your hands.
This
isn't my hand!
Can we get going now, or...?
So what exactly do
you expect me to do?
All in due time.
It was great
catching up with you.
I'm glad you're doing so well.
Yeah, I guess.
Let's get the formalities
out of the way first, shall we?
Sure.
These are pretty
straightforward.
You're simply
signing that you will
in no way discuss
what goes on here.
What exactly am I
getting myself into?
You simply sign and we
pay you to keep quiet.
Good. Let's get
started, shall we?
# Baby you're tryin to
hurt me when I'm down
# And baby you know my
heart's been kicked around
# Well too much of you is
what's been getting to me
# And I don't want
to hear you're sorry
# Well I can't stand it
# Frustration makes me blue
# But I'm so glad I'm
getting rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Baby you lied and
you took me for a ride
# Well I can't tell ya
how much that hurt inside
# Well if I can't take it
there's one thing I can do
# And I will start
by getting rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringing
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm getting rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
Sheriff! More news!
What, is
this about the townies?
No, sir. This is
about some tourists.
Well I certainly
hope it was worth
interrupting my
mid-afternoon nap.
A couple visiting from Quebec.
The husband claims that
the wife was killed.
Please tell me he
confessed so that we can
just slap the cuffs on him and
be home in time for Jeopardy.
He says she was
killed by a shark.
-A shark?!
-A shark.
Where was the couple
when this shark attacked?
McDonald's Landing.
Near the island.
Why do you always
call it an island?
Technically, it's a peninsula.
Either way, I have a feeling
we've got a lot of
bad coming our way.
I'll put some coffee on.
You do that,
deputy. You do that.
So what we need to do
is get you to the island
and see if we can
identify the problem.
Loud noises work well.
I beg your pardon?
Loud noises, like explosives.
It could bring whatever's in
the water up to the surface.
Perfect!
But hold on a second,
I'm not a shark hunter.
I'm a fish expert who
knows a little bit about...
Think of it as an adventure.
Besides, we're not even
sure that it's a shark.
Come on, this way.
What is this place?
This is Rodney. He
monitors, well everything.
Is that the island?
Yeah that's...
Yes, it is. And that's why
we keep him in this room.
Can you pause that
screen right there?
What do we have here?
Where is that? Are
they going to the island?
No no, they aren't going,
that's not on the island,
that's on, that's on,
Where the hell is it?
That's on the
other side, madam.
I suppose they'd
be going there.
Thank you.
I hope they aren't
planning on doing
what it looks like they're doing
with all this shark nonsense.
My god, those
are my students.
Live bait.
So, I don't mean to sound
like an impatient child...
Then don't say it.
But are we there yet?
Kimberly, can you just
enjoy the relaxing boat ride?
The sun is shining,
the birds are chirping
and old geezers are
free to walk outside.
Present company
excluded, of course.
I like walking.
Yeah Kim, just chill.
-Yeah.
-Sorry.
I just get a little bit
uneasy when I'm in the middle
of a huge body of water and
I'm nowhere near the shore.
I sure hope the
captain's smarter than he looks.
You
and me both, sister.
Anybody want a bag
of complimentary nuts?
Yar.
Come on
let's go, let's go!
What's the big deal?
When you've seen one beach,
you've seen them all.
Easy for you to say, I
had to work days all summer.
I didn't get to go to the beach.
What are you doing?
I'm going swimming.
What did you think I was
going to do at the beach?
Maybe take a walk?
You're not going in there,
that water's freezing.
I'm totally
going in the water.
Whatever.
Come one, it'll be
fun! It'll be fun.
I'm not getting in there.
Come on, don't be a wimp.
Me, a wimp?
What's the problem, tough guy?
The problem is,
I'm like 1% body fat.
My body doesn't
agree with the cold.
I'll freeze!
Whatever, I'm going in.
What about the fish?
What about the fish?
You know those little
bastards that nip you
at your toes in the water?
What's the point of
having all that muscle
if you're afraid
of fish and water?
I'm not afraid of fish.
I just said I didn't like them.
Come on, what have
fish ever done to you?
Flying shark?
Flying shark!
I have to get out there.
I have to save those kids!
We'll get you
there right away.
We have a small plane that's
fueling up as we speak.
We can leave immediately.
Boss? There's
something you should see.
What is it?
Terror grips the town tonight
in what seems to be a
series of deadly attacks.
What the hell is this
about? We have to go.
Hold on.
A tourist from Quebec
reports that his wife
was killed today
at a local beach.
Killed by a shark.
Dammit!
Initially written
off as a false report
this story has taken flight
due to a second shark attack.
A woman reports
that her boyfriend
was also killed by a shark.
Two couples with a
very similar attack?
at six o'clock.
Local beaches? Really, Janet?
I thought you said the shark
was contained to the lake?
There are some access
points that join the lake
to some outside bodies of water
but those points are
heavily secured by fences.
Rodney?
Checking now.
It appears that all access
points have been breached.
This is not good.
Yeah, I would say not.
This is a lakeside
community, Janet.
Now that shark has the
run of the whole town.
We really need
your help, Carly.
I'll do what I can, but you
have to get me up there first.
Five bottles
of beer on the boat
five bottles of
beer! Take one down
pass it around
Captain?
Four bottles of
beer on the boat!
-Captain!
-Four bottles of beer
on the boat, four
bottles of beer!
-Captain.
-Take one down
pass it around
Captain!
Three bottles of
beer on the boat!
Shut
up! Just stop singing!
It's my boat, it's my rules.
Now where was I?
You made me lose my place.
I'm going to have to
start all over again.
One thousand bottles
of beer on the boat
one thousand bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around!
What the hell was that?
I think we hit something!
There's nothing here to hit.
Let me take a look-see.
Be careful.
Don't worry your pretty
little head, missy.
Kimberly!
Hold on!
Kim, swim towards the boat!
No, don't! Swim
towards the shore!
There's something by the boat!
Hello? Professor
Reynolds, is that you?
Please help us!
Kim is gonna make it!
My god!
Professor! Professor,
you have to send help!
The shark just got
Kimberly! What do we do?
Stay together, don't
move. Get closer!
What's she saying?
Something about...
don't stay together.
My god, split up!
No, stay together!
No, stay together!
She said stay together!
Dammit!
Steven! Steven!
Swim! Get to shore
while its busy feeding.
Sit tight,
May. Help is coming.
Janet, we've run out of time.
We have to get there.
I told you, my people are
already filling up the plane.
Well, isn't
there a faster way?
If you think you can run
there any faster, be my guest.
Dammit, this is
history repeating itself.
Just like what
happened to my sister.
This is the life.
I know?
The water looks great?
Yep, the perfect day.
Such an amazing day for sure.
What the-? You freak!
I'm sorry,
I couldn't resist.
You were so out of it.
Well, I'm not out of it now.
What the heck is this stuff?
Sunblock.
Now you won't burn that forehead
of yours like you always do
You're nuts, you know that?
Quit complaining
and go wash it off.
Three years of
university paying off right now.
-Shut up.
-Whatever.
You know you could have
gotten some in my eye.
You know
you coulda got some in my eye.
Dammit Carly, I told you
I'd get something in my eye.
Stop being such a big baby.
Just dunk your head in the
water, it'll rinse right out.
Pass me my towel, would you?
I still can't see.
Fine, I'll get
it you big baby.
Alright, let's stop
horsing around.
We have some work to do.
Like I'm the one
horsing around.
Look I know, but let's
collect the sample we need.
Once we figure out if
there was any drilling
that was done here then
we can call it a job done.
Fine. Pass me a test tube.
Ta da!
Rita!
What?
Carly? Carly!
Let's get to the landing strip.
The plane will be
there when we arrive.
Let's go.
Sheriff, sheriff!
A shark.
You guessed it.
This story's pretty
weird though.
Weirder than shark
attacks on a lake?
A man and a woman
were walking on the waterfront
and the woman says the
man was eaten by a shark.
So what's so weird about that?
She was in the
water. He was on land!
Come again?
She said he was eaten
by a flying shark!
Flying shark? Well now
I've heard everything.
What should we do, sheriff?
Should we go close the beaches?
Round up a posse?
One thing at a time, deputy.
First things first,
help me find my pants.
Yes, sir.
Then we'll go
down to that island
and find out what
the hell's going on!
Penninsula.
Kim, Steven. The phone!
I have wifi here!
I have wifi here?
This is a really good phone.
Come on. Crap.
Come on May, you can do this.
Keep it together.
Just keep it together.
My gosh!
Hello? Hello?
The what?
Hello there.
I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to frighten you.
Who are you?
I'm Howell and
this is my island.
Your island?
But there's a shark here.
It killed my friends.
I know, that would be mine.
Yours?
Yeah, but don't worry.
It's genetically engineered
and slightly radioactive.
It's likely going
to be dead soon.
What are you even doing here?
Experiments.
You're experimenting
on sharks?
They are beautiful creatures
but I made them better.
No, they kill people.
No no, they are nature's
most perfect machine.
Perfect machine?
You bet they are.
They can smell one part per
million of blood in sea water.
They can hear their prey
from many kilometers away.
They can even detect the
electromagnetic field
that all living
creatures create.
Electromagnetic?
That's right.,
the shark has got
the greatest electrical
sensitivity of any animal.
They can find their
hidden prey by simply
detecting the electric
field that they produce.
I gotta get off this island.
It ain't gonna happen.
Is that blood on your hands?
I need your help.
What do you mean?
My masterpiece is ready.
No, you're crazy.
That's what Janet
said, I'm crazy.
And in a sane world it's
the crazy man who's king.
Behold, the next step in
the evolution of the shark!
This is horrible.
We need to call
the National Guard.
But this is Canada, we
don't have a National Guard.
What are we gonna do?
How many
victims do you need
to qualify as a crisis?
I don't know, three or four?
I think we're good.
I have to admit Janet,
that was a pretty nice plane.
I know, it cost me enough.
Did you hear that?
Yes.
Is that a flying shark?
My god!
My plane!
Professor Reynolds!
May! May.
I'm so glad to see you.
-Are you ok?
-Yeah.
Kim? Steven?
The shark, we fell
in the water and...
It's ok, I'll get
you off this island
and I'll make those
responsible pay.
We need to move.
Who's this?
May, meet Janet, the one
responsible for all of this.
You bitch.
No May, it's not the time.
But Kim and Steven...
I hate to break this up...
Then don't. She
needs a moment.
We may not have one.
Shit, we need
to get out of here.
Janet, which way?
I don't know!
I own the island but I've
never been here before.
There was a creepy
guy back the way I came.
Then let's head that way.
But he did this.
Yeah, so he may know how
to get us off the island.
Let's go.
-May!
-Over here.
What happened? Where did it go?
I don't know.
Come on, let's go.
Janet? Janet!
I think she fell
down that hill.
Dammit Janet.
What do we do now?
We have to find that guy.
He'll know how to get
us off the island.
Ok, well he was back this way.
Okay.
Carly? May?
Hell, Janet.
Brad.
What are you doing here?
I own this island, remember?
No you don't,
you sold it to me.
Your check bounced.
Doesn't matter. I don't
work for you anymore.
Wait a minute.
You did it, didn't you?
You made the formula work.
Well that would
seem pretty clear.
Wait dammit!
I want you to come
back and work for me.
After what you did? No way.
I can change that.
Anything you want, I
can make it happen.
It doesn't matter.
I don't trust you.
I asked you for one
thing and one thing only
and you laughed at me. Me!
The most brilliant
scientist on your staff
and you humiliated me
in front of everyone.
Well, no more.
-What?
-We have to kill it.
It's happening all over again!
Ok, we'll kill it.
Where's my bag?
Watch the skies.
Why is there never a cop
around when you need one?
Shouldn't we be
doing something?
We are. We're
securing the beach.
-The sky.
-Right.
May, are you alright?
Yeah. You get the
number of that truck?
Well I see you didn't
damage your sense of humor.
Screw it, you're
my responsibility
and I'm going to get
you off this island.
I won't let what happened
to my sister happen to you.
Can you walk?
Help me up and I'll dance.
Yeah, forget what I said
about your sense of humor.
I thought it was funny.
Sorry ladies, but you're
not going anywhere.
There's my baby.
You can't do that!
Yeah, I think I
can. Right, Janet?
I knew it!
I knew this is what
you wanted all along.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Thank god, Janet.
Don't thank me yet.
You were right about one thing:
that fish needs to die
and you're just
the one to do it.
No, it's too dangerous.
We have to get off this island.
There's no boat.
Yeah there is.
I have one on the other
side of the island.
A really nice 30-foot
pleasure craft.
Radio, GPS, even a jacuzzi.
All the bells and whistles.
What?
Alright, let's go before
the shark comes back
while we still have a chance.
No. We're killing it.
You're killing it, so grab
your gear and go hunting.
Ok, don't hurt anyone.
You better not miss.
No, you can't do this.
It's a monster,
it has to be killed.
No!
She's right, the
fish has to die.
No, not my baby!
Hey, give it back!
Janet.
Brad. Why did I marry you?
Because I said yes.
May, how did you know?
Well, I saw him
fiddling with this
when we heard the shark come
and then I remembered
what he said
about shark's having an
electromagnetic sensitivity.
So I just figured,
maybe he was using this
to hide his
electromagnetic field.
May, that was brilliant!
I don't care what they say
about you, that was brilliant.
Thanks, I just... wait, what?
Let's go before
the shark comes back.
What do they say about me?
Professor, we can use
this to hide from the shark
while we look for Howell's boat.
We're not going, are we.
I hate to admit it
but Janet was right.
We need to kill this thing.
-But...
-No buts. Stay hidden.
Come on out, you flying fish!
You've had your dinner
now have your dessert.
Professor Reynolds?
May, no!
-It's coming.
-May, what have you done?
It won't come unless
it smells blood.
Professor?
It's been a blast.
Chief, I mean sheriff, look!
Well look at that.
Do you think that's
the flying shark
everyone's been talking about?
I reckon so.
Cool!
You did it!
We did it.
Now what?
We find Howell's boat
and we go home.
You know, you did really
good figuring out
that electromagnetic thing.
Thanks, you weren't so bad
with that action hero bit.
Thanks. Did you finish
your homework for Monday?
# Baby tryin to hurt
me when I'm down
# And baby you know my
heart's been kicked around
# Well too much of you
# Is what's been getting to me
# And I don't want
to hear you're sorry
# Well I can't stand it
# Frustration makes me blue
# But I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Baby you lied and
you took me for a ride
# Well I can't tell ya
how much that hurt inside
# Well if I can't take it
there's one thing I can do
# And I will start
by gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
# I won't tell ya
all the things you do
# Cuz talk is cheap
and honey so are you
# Well I hope this
is really killing you
# Cuz I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do #
# Baby you said your
love could show me more
# Well I only know that
you bit right to the core
# Now I've got one more
thing to say to you
# And that's I'm so glad
I'm gettin rid of you
# I've taken all I
can take from you
# Chains been bringin
me all the way down
# You know there
ain't nothin I can do
# But if there's one thing
that makes me feel better
# It's to know that
I am rid of you
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# I'm gettin rid of you
# It's all that I can do
# Ooooh #