Relax, I'm From The Future (2023) Movie Script

What are you doing? Pass it!
What's that?
What the fuck? Hey! Hey!
Fucking cheesedick. Pederast!
Fucking gimp-suit-wearing piece of shit!
Not in my fucking neighborhood!
Hey, hey! Just relax. I've come to...
Oh, hi. I need something to write with.
Like a tablet, or a flat thing, something.
I mean... you can use this if you want.
Oh, yes.
That's great.
Ahoy, there! If you're reading this,
please don't be angry with me.
But I have traveled back in time.
Don't worry, everything is under control
despite one or two complications.
For example, you may notice I've written
this on several scraps of garbage.
Hello again. I would like
to place a bet on the sports situation.
Hockey for money.
-There's my money.
-Okay, man.
It's a problem of context.
I've discovered that in some situations,
you don't just need the answers,
you need to show your work.
I don't know any of this.
You know, you could also use
that money for, like, the bus.
-Like, to leave.
That's maybe the biggest difference
here. Nothing is simple.
Everything seems designed
to be slightly frustrating.
This is a bus stop, isn't it? Oh, good.
Big day. It's the berries.
Everything is just fine.
No? Okay. Oh.
Ooh. Do you still have libraries?
Did you know they kept printing physical
books throughout the 20th century?
I mean, there are so many of them.
Apparently, they just started making
them so badly, they all dissolved.
Incredible. Honestly, not a bad metaphor
for the century as a whole.
Hi. Ooh!
It does seem like I missed
a lot of pretty big events.
Much of my prepared research is,
well, stuff that's happened already,
and thus is not very impressive
to people.
In fact, I arrived
somewhat shockingly low
in what you might call
immediately useful information.
But I know I can make this work.
Hey. We're closing in a few minutes.
So if you just wanna
bring that book to the front...
Yeah, okay.
I'm running out of space,
so I'll keep this brief.
But if you do find this, there'll be
other notes as well buried around here.
Plus a few other surprises.
Everything will become clear.
Trust in the plan, okay?
There is a plan.
Your humble servant, Casper.
Um... Um...
Sir? Sir? Hi, yeah. Um...
I'm going to ask you to leave.
Oh, no. Actually, I need more time.
Could you pop back later?
Yeah. I'm gonna
have to take you outside.
It's the outfit, isn't it?
Or the smell. Is it the smell?
It's actually because you slept here.
You can't do that.
-But also it is the smell.
-I understand.
We're pretty chill here usually.
But you have actually done
a lot of things wrong.
-(GASPS) Are those our...
-Yeah. No.
-Don't worry about that.
Uh... Uh...
There is a plan.
You're part of something now.
-Oh! Okay, thanks.
-Yeah, cool.
Okay. Cool! But I... Oh. Okay. Yeah.
-Hello! I'd like one, please.
-Five dollars.
Oh. Well, then, I would like the food
that is for no dollars, please.
Nothing for nothing, boss. Move.
WOMAN: Holly! Open up!
The cops maced me.
In the face! In my face, Holly!
-You wanna get that?
-Open the door, you flaky bitch!
-Jesus. Hi, I guess.
-Hey, Alana.
-Fool-looking little piglets!
Fascist Nazi fucks!
-Yeah, sounds like a great time.
Would have been nice to have
some fucking backup, though!
Oh, I'm gonna get them
all fucking fired.
-Your fucking salad days are over.
-It's really fucking sparkly.
Those fucking fucks!
This is getting a little intense for me.
But this was fun.
Oh. Actually, I'm good.
Call me, okay?
Just get a fucking kiss on the cheek?
Bye, dreadlocks.
-Don't be mean.
-I'm just saying.
I find it interesting that you drag along
that kind of people now.
The Holly from two years ago
would never.
Well, maybe the Holly from two years ago
was a judgmental bitch.
-You really should have come today.
-Should I, though?
-It matters to show up.
-Does it, though?
Yeah, it does. Being shitty about it
doesn't make you right.
Okay. Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm just hungry. Yeah.
-Who the fuck is that?
Oh. It's just a guy.
Come on, buddy! Get the fuck up!
See? He's going.
Is that my fuckin' beer?
What the fuck are you doing?
These nachos are soul-crushing.
It should literally be illegal
to sell shitty nachos
under a late-stage capitalism.
That's supposed to be the deal
in exchange for our fucking souls.
It's fine. I'll just give 'em
to somebody who...
Yo, bud. Uh, do you want
some depressing corn chips?
Yes, please! Oh, wow.
Mmm. These are really good.
Yeah, they're really not that good, bro.
But, um, have at 'em.
That outfit kind of rules.
Where'd you get it?
-The future.
-I'm serious. Where'd you get the suit?
-I know that! That's a band.
Is that current? Are they now?
Um, I'm working door for them tonight,
so, yeah, it's very now.
That's fantastic.
Hey, do you wanna go?
(SINGING) Why disguise my bad intentions?
I got nothing to hide
Except the tendency
to separate the part of me
That's feeling too desperate to die
I wanna thank the academy
Well, isn't it great?
I'm doing something productive
with my self-destruction
It's the one thing keeping me sane
How's that for your glass half full?
It's not even my best trait
Crawling out of the hole inside of me
Try to kill 'em before I come undone
I can tell they're on to me
I can feel it in my blood
Spilling out of the hole inside of me
Try to fill it before I come undone
But it's just a part of me
that I can't get away from
Crawling out of the hole
Crawling out of the hole
Crawling out of the hole inside of me
Thanks a lot. We're gonna take
a quick break. We'll see you in a sec.
-Hey, Casper.
-Is that a cigarette?
-Sure is, pal.
Wow. Okay. Don't mind if I do.
Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT) Thank you.
-Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
-You good there?
There's always an off one in a pack.
Did you know that?
-No, I didn't.
-Yeah, it must have... Oh.
-You okay?
-Yeah. So cool.
Very cool. Yeah.
Actually, it's a really good time
to see this band.
Mmm, yeah. I love these guys.
No, I mean, they're only good right now.
-They get pretty bad.
Their next recording, it's not awful,
but it's definitely a step down.
And then they don't tour for a while.
And so next time they come out
and perform like this,
it's actually a bit embarrassing.
They're more famous,
but the music's bad.
It's a pretty creative way
to be a dick about music.
Preemptive snobbery. Well done.
-Oh, please. I'm not a dick, I promise.
All I'm saying is,
you should take this in.
This is a special, unique night.
Enjoy the show.
'Cause in the future, most people
will just get a worse version of this.
-Do you wanna do a line?
-You mean like drugs?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there, man.
Alana will literally never forgive me
if I kill a homeless guy tonight.
-Okay, got it. Chips ahoy!
Okay, I'm quiet. I'm being quiet.
But, look, just to let you know,
in the future, about 30 years from now,
this is legal, and everyone's doing it.
Most places say, "Yeah, you can do it."
Not just this but all sorts of drugs.
It was before my time, so I didn't
really get a chance to do it.
So it's good I get to do it now.
It's feeling really good!
Okay, that's great.
But you're not from the future.
(SNORTING) Whoo! No, I am.
Okay, for the sake of arguing,
I will admit
that the music possibilities
are intriguing.
But you're saying
you can't jump back and forth, right?
-Mmm. Only backwards.
So, like, CBGBs in the mid-'70s
would be dope,
but then having to live through the '80s
as a queer, Black vagina-haver...
-No fucking thank you.
-Really? Not good there?
-Then you've got Alana in the mid-'90s.
But, like, would Missy
even be friends with me?
-Missy Elliott.
-She'd be your friend.
-She'd be my friend.
-Yeah, I think so.
But then there's all the bullshit
afterwards, so I don't think I'd do it.
-History's a fucking trash pile, bro.
Okay, interesting take.
If I'm being honest, I don't even think
I'd, like, kill baby Hitler,
or skullfuck David Duke, or whatever
the, you know, the moral equivalent is.
-Wait. Did you say "skullfuck"?
-Skullfuck, like...
-Neo-Nazi prick.
Just fuckin' skullfuck him
in the fuckin' face...
-No, don't do that.
-It just...
It feels like way too much work, right?
To do something
that would actually matter, you know?
-Does that make me a bad person?
-You're not a bad person.
Remember, you got me nachos and drugs.
Yeah. But that's not enough. Right?
I mean, I almost feel
like it should be enough,
but I'm not actually good at anything.
-So that's bad. I don't know.
-Come on.
-You are good at stuff.
I used to care more. Like, a lot.
But it's like, every time
I found something to care about,
I'd eventually find out some detail
about that thing,
or movement, or person,
and it turns out, they're also shitty.
Punks turn out to be Nazis.
Hippies turn out to be rapists.
White people in sweaters
turn out to be Nazi rapists.
-Everything's a trap.
-Everything's a Nazi rapist.
Everything's a fucking Nazi rapist trap.
-That's shocking.
Nothing's just good.
What if I was to tell you
that everything does work out?
And that you don't need to feel so bad?
-Hmm. It sounds fake.
-Okay. Hold this.
-I've got a point to make.
I'm getting up into my serious position.
-Here I am.
-You see me?
Okay. Things do get a lot better.
They really do. I promise.
-They do?
-There's a plan.
Okay? So you don't have to worry
about it. Pressure's off.
-Prove it.
-Okay, but if I prove it...
can I crash on your couch?
I need somewhere to sleep.
-Yeah, man.
-Okay, I will prove it. What's the time?
-Like, 2:00 maybe.
-I don't fucking know.
-Okay. Come on, we've gotta go.
-I'm gonna prove this to you now.
-No, you take it. I don't want it.
-I'm gonna prove it to you!
-Come on!
-Oh, are you okay? Here.
-So, this place, huh?
-Yeah, this is it!
Here. We'll sit here in this fatal booth.
-Oh, my God. I can't believe we're here.
-Okay. So, what's the plan here, champ?
(WHISPERS) Oh, my God. There he is.
This is the guy.
I know everything about this man.
Watch this.
-Okay, he's coming over.
-All right, um...
-What would you like?
-Hello, Percy.
-Sorry. Have we met?
Uh, no. Uh, well, we have now.
Um, how's your sketches coming along?
Have you sold any yet or still no luck?
Yeah, I'm... I'm not...
I don't know who you are.
I'm sorry. Um, at this stage, we'll just
get two coffees, please. Thank you.
-What the hell was that? Who is he?
Okay, so he's nobody at the moment.
But after he dies, people discover
his work. He's an amazing artist.
He does these little cartoons.
This guy is a genuine cult hero.
-Well, he becomes one. Posthumously.
-Oh, okay, sure.
So, like, if the Garfield guy was also
the Confederacy of Dunces guy?
-What'd you say? Garfield guy?
-Yeah. Like the cat.
-The orange cat.
-A cat? That does not sound good.
-Big eyes.
-This guy is good.
-Yeah. Very popular with nihilists.
Thank you, Percy.
Love your work!
Are you changing, like, the fabric
of reality or whatever just by existing?
No! Of course not.
You kill some butterfly
and the world ends, yeah?
There's a thing like that.
Jurassic Park and shit.
I don't know. I haven't been there.
Or is it like,
with every small decision,
you create a whole new reality,
like a multiverse
with an infinite number of timelines?
No. That's ridiculous.
There's only one timeline
and one reality. This is it.
And it's not really a "fabric."
It's more of a mushy blob.
Mushy blob of reality. Imagine that.
So some little differences can happen,
but the mushy blob of reality
just kind of congeals over the changes.
And then... (WHOOSHES)
time keeps on rockin'.
-Yeah, I like to say congeals.
So only really the big things matter,
like, um, life and death.
Major cultural shifts or political stuff.
-Wait. What time is it?
-It is 2:13 in the morning...
Oh, that's perfect. Right. Look outside.
Now, remember the word "balls." Okay?
-You looking? Here we go.
Three, two, one.
Come on. Okay, I might have been a bit
ambitious with the old countdown there.
Forget the countdown. It's definitely
gonna happen any moment now.
I'll try the countdown again.
Three... No, I'm not gonna bother
with it, actually.
But it's definitely gonna...
Any... any moment now.
Mmm. You know what? This has been fun.
But, um, I think we just...
(GASPS) Yes!
The explanation turns out
to be quite boring.
It's just a shipment that comes loose
from a cargo plane.
But weird, eh?
I mean, people remember this.
-What the...
What did I tell ya?
What are you trying to say to me?
Am I a joke to you?
Oh, wow. That's the moment.
Here we go. And there's the crate.
Yeah. This actually really messes him up.
-CASPER: This is great! Thank you!
Listen, um, I'm breaking
several key personal rules here.
So just be aware
that if you try to kill me or something,
I'll, you know, kill you.
Okay, yep.
That's, uh... That's fair enough.
I own several knives!
-So, you know...
-Got it!
How do I look?
Do you, like... know everything
I'm about to say?
No. I mean, do you know
every conversation from, say, 1847?
Or would you just know some scattered
facts about that general time period?
Shit, not even.
-So, what do you know exactly?
-It's complicated.
I mean, a lot of information and media
gets lost over time.
Long-term accessible data storage
isn't really what you guys are good at.
So I'm left with patchwork,
digital residue, and metadata.
Basically a lot
of very specific statistics,
figures, and numbery things
with very little context.
Imagine looking at a map
with a microscope.
-That's what I did.
-Like, as a job?
Yeah. I just found what I could
and patched it together
into some kind of picture of the past.
Uh-huh. And you bring stuff back
with you in your time machine?
There are no time machines.
So, what do you travel in, then?
It's kind of like a singularity.
A miniature black hole.
But not really a black hole.
-Like a portal?
You know what? Yes.
They're highly regulated.
The first one pops up
in about 50 years' time from now.
Way up north. They all seem to come
to this time period.
Wait. They all go to this time?
Yeah, pretty much.
All within a couple of decades.
Well, isn't that significant somehow?
That they all lead here?
-I don't know.
Oh, by the way,
when you go through a portal,
you can't take anything organic, okay?
So nothing that can rot or corrode.
No air holes.
And no technology.
Nothing that gives yourself away.
So I wrote a lot of things down
on my hands.
Notes on both hands,
and my memory, which I lost a bit of.
But, yeah, a lot of writing down for me.
Mmm. Like, um, sports stats?
-Oh! Shit, sorry.
I've gotta be careful.
But, yeah, sports.
I know the winning teams from baseball,
hockey, and the other one.
-For the next 20 years.
-Next 20 years?
Mmm-hmm. I thought it would be useful,
but I don't think it will be now.
-Um, definitely useful.
Sure. Private bookies, online gambling.
The playoffs aren't for another few
months, but if we know where it's going,
we can totally clean up
playing the long game.
-Really? You know how to do that?
It's easy because,
um, I'm an actual, real person,
so I own a valid ID and a credit card.
-Oh, that sounds great!
-Okay. What else?
Uh, well, I do have
some lottery information.
Yes! Dope.
Oh, my God. We have to drink to that.
Okay, but don't get too excited
because we've gotta be careful.
Okay? Nothing too big
on those winning fronts.
-Nothing life-changing.
Should you, like, officially
not be telling me any of this?
Officially, yeah, I should not be
telling you any of this.
Yeah, man. I'm not gonna lie, feels like
you should have had a better plan.
No, this is the plan.
This is phase one, making money.
Which really
I didn't put enough thought into.
-So, what's phase two?
-Saving the world.
-Cool. Glad somebody's on that.
You do know the consequences
of all of this?
-Um, we get paid.
-I mean, you could make some real money.
-Get really rich.
Be the kind of person
who makes so much money,
they could make
some real changes in the world.
But you can't do that. Ever.
Here's the deal.
You'll never have to worry about money,
but you've gotta cruise.
You can't use that money
to make a name for yourself.
Stay anonymous.
And just live comfortably
for the rest of your days.
Do you think you could do that?
Honestly, that sounds great.
-Well, all right!
Are there more of you?
Is anyone gonna, like, follow you?
No. I doubt it.
DORIS: Welcome!
-Stasis or Static?
-Yes! Thank you!
-Uh, could you repeat, please?
-Stasis or Static?
I'm ready. Just point me
in the right direction and I...
-Thought so.
-Don't wait up.
-Yes, Doris.
I made it.
Stasis or Static?
Wait. Wait.
Right. Now where am I?
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Doris
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear...
Companion module off.
Delete that fucking file.
-DORIS: Fuck!
-MAN: Ahh!
Yeah, you run, you twisted pervert!
Get the hell out of my neighborhood!
God damn it!
Hey! Hey! Can I help you?
-Hey! No, no, no!
-Out of my way!
-I need to find that man.
-You listen to me, lady.
I don't care about whatever goddamn
Illuminati hide-and-seek sex games
you sickos are playin',
but this is my neighborhood.
And I'm not gonna have my kids
dealing with this shit.
So you get the hell out,
and don't come back, either of you!
You understand me, lady?
Hey! Do you understand me, lady?
Yes. I understand you, sir.
-I apologize.
Will you hold this for me, please?
-What the fuck was that?
That's what I thought. It's blue.
That means your life has no weight.
Hey, fuck you!
an incredible third-period turnaround,
Edmonton has less than 30 seconds
to grab victory from the jaws of defeat.
-There's a pass, another pass.
-Watch this shit.
-And there it is! Score!
-ALANA: What?
-Oh, yes! Did you see that shit?
-I don't fucking believe it.
Holy shit! I love sports now.
Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.
Yo, Mitch! It's Holly.
-Ah, God, uh...
-You know what this means?
Payday, motherfucker!
Do you know why I always win?
'Cause I've got arcane knowledge
from the goddamn future! Shit!
CASPER: The crazy thing is,
it all pretty much works out all right.
That's what everyone
essentially wants to hear.
I've never been great at connecting
with people at the best of times,
but there's something special
about talking to someone
with a defined expiration date.
It makes things easier somehow
if you both know, well, it's gonna end.
-Safer too.
Plus, it means you can usually
get their stuff afterwards.
And there's so much great stuff.
I wanted to pass these on to my son.
-But he don't appreciate them.
-Let's have a look.
-I just want them to be cherished.
I'll tell you what,
if you leave these with me,
I promise you they'll be remembered.
Very much so.
Tell me more about the future.
Tell me something else nice.
Okay, sure. Take food, for example.
It gets to the point
where anyone can grow
almost anything they want
in a single room,
so no one actually runs out of food.
-Oh, that's wonderful!
-It is good.
-Oh, what's this?
-Those are Cathy's.
Scientific surveys
from her research days.
She studied bugs.
Well, this is tangible, first-person,
boots-on-the-ground observations
with context.
It's exactly
what we're missing back home.
I've gotta say,
I've been to three places,
and you, Betty, are my best partner.
-This is dynamite.
-You should meet a nice girl.
It's not that easy.
I'm a bit complicated.
Oh, young men always say that.
Well, what I mean is, the kind of person
that would accept
that I'm a man from the future
might not be the person
I want to spend my whole life with.
-Oh, I didn't mean you, though.
No, I love your company.
You're different.
Well, of course. Because I'm dying.
Didn't have to say it like that.
Well... thanks for everything, Betty.
You're a very nice boy.
-I'll see you again, okay?
Of course, dear.
How do you even find payphones anymore?
CASPER: There's 803 of them
left in the city.
I know where
each and every one of them are.
Good for you, champ.
Meet me in the diner in one hour.
And bring the thing.
Would it be considered ironic
that you have terrible timing?
I don't think so. I'll see you soon.
-Here's your usual.
-Thank you. Hey, how's Percy doing?
-He's looking a bit rough.
-You're obsessed.
-He's fine.
-Not for long.
-Hmm? Nothing. I said, "Yum."
-You got it!
-I did!
Oh, wow.
Yes, you are now the proud owner
of a portable X-ray machine.
-For some reason.
-This is awesome!
You planning on telling me
what it's for?
-Phase two, saving the world.
-Right. Phase two.
I told you I had a plan.
-I can't tell you everything.
-I know.
"It's better if you don't know
too much about me.
"Anything further I tell you
will have grave consequences."
-I didn't do... I did not do this.
-Yeah, it was very intense.
-You went like this.
-Did I say "grave"?
-Okay. All right. Fair enough.
-Okay, I got something else for you.
-It's a prepaid phone.
They're mostly used by children,
but you don't need an ID,
and you won't have to rely on payphones
like a '90s drug dealer.
-Oh, it opens.
-And... Bah!
-Oh, that's awesome.
-Not bad, right?
-Look at that!
-And I've got a lotto run tomorrow.
-This is actually working.
-It is!
Yes, man. I've decided
that a life of leisure agrees with me.
Good. Leisure's awesome.
Now, I actually have something
for you to do.
Yeah, yeah, whatever...
whatever you need.
Okay. Can you please deliver this
to Betty Chambers?
She lives in a nursing home
called Better Horizons.
And it has to be tomorrow
before noon. Okay?
Earlier the better.
Definitely before noon.
Normally, I wouldn't ask you to do this,
but tomorrow I do have
a, uh, appointment of sorts
which I've been waiting a long time for.
-Wow. Very cryptic.
-Very cryptic.
CASPER: Thank you.
Wait. Like, right here,
right here or...
-All right.
Well, this is like
the middle of nowhere, man.
-So, I drop you, I'm...
-...I'm not coming back, so...
-Yeah, this is perfect.
Oh, okay. I'm leavin'.
Drivin' away.
-Hey, Chuck.
-I like your red box.
-Thanks, Chuck.
This should cover the next month.
-Plus a bit extra.
-Appreciate it, brother.
You've been searching
for me again, haven't you?
Yeah! I admit it. I tried again.
I dug deep, too.
Let me tell ya, I always find something.
And I got nothing.
No government numbers, no photos.
Bubkes, 100% legit, off the grid.
Holy shit, brother. I am impressed.
You gotta tell me how you did it.
Wish I could, Chuck.
But I need you on the grid.
I need your name on those land rights.
Yeah, okay. Okay.
But you gotta tell me eventually.
Deal? Before they give us all
the fuckin' microchips.
(CHUCKLES) That doesn't happen, Chuck.
So you say, brother. So you say.
-Hey, I was wondering...
-Uh-uh. No peeking.
Fuck. Fine!
I'm taking my money and fucking off.
CHUCK: Brother, I'm not one to pry.
A man's privacy is sacred.
I believe that.
-And I respect our arrangement.
-And I appreciate that, Chuck.
But, I mean...
what the fuck are you doin'?
It's a fair question.
Have you ever heard
of nuclear semiotics?
-No, I have not.
Nuclear semiotics. (GRUNTS)
The idea behind it is basically
sending a message into the future
without the use of language.
-Like in Chinese.
Without any words at all.
So, instead, something like...
Even mild radiation emanating
from a spot where it should not be.
You see,
this is your family land, Chuck.
Always will be.
But I don't have a family.
And as you saw,
I don't even have an identity.
And so, buried here
in these radiation holes,
this is my way
of leaving something for the future.
-Far out.
That's... that's deep, brother.
Hey, what kind of something, though?
Well, that falls under a man's privacy.
(GROANS) Okay. Well, fuck me, then.
You just keep that cash coming,
you can bury
all the goddamn secrets you want.
I appreciate that.
Here's a weird one for you.
Tomorrow, I've got an appointment.
Could be a bit risky,
but I'm excited about it
because I've been planning it
for a long time.
On the other hand,
things are going pretty well.
I've got money now.
I can buy a hot dog whenever I like.
So I'm thinking
maybe I should just stick the course
and forget about this appointment.
What do you think?
I had a theory for a while
that you was, uh... ex-special ops.
-Oh, yeah?
-Blackwater or something.
Sounds about right.
No, you're much too doughy
to be an operator. So that's out.
Now I'm thinkin'
you're some kind of gentleman thief.
Some George Clooney type.
And you're talkin'
some sort of one-last-job scenario.
It's a bank heist, isn't it?
Just because if it is,
I think you should do it.
I say you gotta grab life by the balls,
and I say fuck the bank.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, sure. Fuck the bank.
-Fuck the bank.
Anyway, it's not a bank heist.
So you say, brother.
-So you say.
All right, Percy. Let's do this.
I first drew this guy when I was nine.
My teacher, Mr. Whitaker,
told me it was pretty good.
It's the first compliment
I remember getting.
I kept drawing him
over and over and over again.
That's all I ever did for years.
I even failed Mr. Whitaker's stupid class
because of him.
Drawing him made me feel better.
I felt it mattered.
Drawing him would make me matter.
But everybody thinks they matter,
or they will one day, but we don't.
Nobody matters. Nobody cares.
No one is a hero.
This is us. This is me.
We're not important.
We are...
rubber clowns bouncing
on the surface of reality.
No, that's... that's terrible.
What a shit metaphor.
I should have practiced. (LAUGHS)
Percy! No!
CASPER: Hi, Betty. You did ask me
to let you know when it was time.
It's today, I'm afraid.
I should have told you yesterday,
but I just couldn't do it.
It was great meeting you, Betty.
Time to say your final goodbyes.
Please destroy every trace
of this card immediately.
The future depends on it.
Right, that was a bit messy.
But I still think we can make this work.
-I was just trying...
-I know.
I know what you were trying to do.
But, look, Percy, I'm here to help you.
-Okay? I'm from the future.
-I know you. You're that guy from...
From the diner, yes. I'm a regular.
So we're practically friends already.
Look, if you wanna shoot me,
just do it.
No, I'm not gonna shoot you!
You don't even shoot you.
Which is why I'm surprised
to see this ancient gun.
-No, you end up jumping over the edge.
-What? No!
You do. But don't worry
about that right now.
I wanna show you something.
Take a look at this.
-That's yours, right?
Scared little cape guy?
Percy, I'm a fan.
I was one of the guys
who figured out who you were.
Pretty rad, right?
So here's what happens.
After you leap over the edge,
people do find your little doodles.
And, Percy, they catch on.
Hard to believe, I know, but it's true!
We found podcasts, imprints, images.
Quotes all over the place.
Even graffiti. Your work becomes
part of a larger nostalgia thing.
It helps people process the weird world
and all the changes that are happening.
Percy, you inspire people.
That's a pretty good thing, right?
Wow! I'm gonna grab a seat.
Look. Just... I'm sorry, okay?
I know I'm being more blunt
than I normally would with people.
And you're handling this really well.
So, well done.
It's probably the gun, right?
This is a bit of a bummer.
I'm gonna put it on the ground, okay?
There we go.
Gun's gone. Eyes on me, okay?
Here I am. That's it.
Percy, I considered not coming.
I couldn't resist.
Imagine if you got to meet, I don't know,
what is it, the Garfield guy?
-I hate Garfield.
-You don't like the Garfield guy? Oh.
Okay, well, how many people get to end
things on their own terms as a nobody
and then become immortalized?
Not many.
Most people of, you know,
historical significance
are not accessible before they pass.
So you are a unique case.
So here's what we'll do.
We'll chat. A bit of back and forth.
At the moment, it's mainly forth.
But I'll get a bit of back from you,
and that'll be great.
And we could fill out your backstory
for future generations.
And then you can do your thing
over the edge,
content with the idea
that you've made an impact,
in more ways than one
if you know what I mean.
Sorry, I didn't mean to say that.
But you've made an impact on the world.
And gained some new truths
about our very existence.
I mean, people who I've spoken to so far
seem to quite like the idea of that.
How does that sound?
-What if I don't?
-Don't what?
All right! No, no, no, no! No, no.
Calm down. Okay?
Everything's gonna be fine.
What if I just leave? What would happen
to your little prediction then?
-You... you can't leave.
Because you've gotta do your thing,
Percy! We all have to do our thing!
Yours is over the edge there.
Look, I'm beginning to realize
I shouldn't have come here.
Okay? This was a whole mistake.
I'm just gonna go.
Okay? I'm gonna leave you to it.
All right?
So you're on your own. But you're
definitely gonna do your thing, yeah?
-Once I'm out of your hair?
Well, then, we're back to square one!
What the hell's that about?
Oh! No! Percy!
-Stop it!
-Ah, please. Plea... Sorr... Sorry.
-That was foolish, wasn't it?
-Sorry. Please.
Look, I've made sacrifices, okay?
I've been careful.
Kind of.
But you're not gonna
screw this up for me.
-This is supposed to happen.
-Well, then, I'm sorry.
-MAN: Do it! Shoot him!
Oh, God! I can't do it.
Do you know
about the Spanish aristocracy
who were sent down
to South America in the 1800s?
WOMAN: I think so.
Spanish royalty sent them down
to be the face of the empire,
to uphold the laws,
and bring order, you know.
Back then... going back and forth
wasn't in the cards.
They went, and they stayed.
They had everything
they could want, of course.
They had all the money in the world.
Land, and servants, and...
But they could never go home.
Would only ever occasionally
even interact
with somebody who spoke
their own language or had the same...
cultural background,
let's say, that they did.
The position was a great honor,
but it was also a real burden.
Sounds lonely.
Yes, it is.
What the fuck is that?
If your boss knows the winning ticket,
why don't you just buy the winning ticket?
Technically, one of these tickets
bought at that location on this day
is a winner, so gotta buy 'em all.
-And he's not my boss.
-Whatever you say.
-What is that supposed to mean?
I just think it's sketchy, man.
Like, you're all in
with some fuckin' white dude
who has you at his beck and call,
taking risks for him and shit?
Do you even know what his real game is?
Have you actually thought
about what you're participating in?
Sorry. Just sayin'.
Do you know what I've been doing
these past few months?
I built a system, Alana.
I've got bookies working off each other.
I've got two credit cards
making automated offshore bets for me.
I've built a network of lesbians
and made a schedule
tailored to specific times and places
to buy scratch tickets, okay?
I've never built something before.
I'm good at it, and I'm getting paid.
I'm happy for you.
Totally worth giving up
everything you believe in.
Jesus. Sorry we can't all sell
rich women their placentas back to them.
That is not all a doula does, Holly.
Whatever! It's all bullshit.
It's performance.
It's like all the fucking marches,
the protests,
all the interminable "community meetings."
All it did was give us something
to say we did. It's just ego shit.
And I'm tired of it, okay?
I don't... I don't need it anymore.
Well, congratulations.
-Fucking what?
-CASPER: Holly! I need you!
-Where have you been?
-Where have I been?
-Let me tell you where I've been.
-Oh, doesn't matter.
Look, I need you here.
This is important.
Mushy blob of reality, remember?
23 Woods Ave. now if you could, please.
Okay. I'll be there soon.
Hey, look. You won.
There you are, you little fucker.
-Yep. Up here. Thanks for coming.
-What's going on? What happened?
Okay. So essentially what's happened
is something hasn't happened to someone.
So I need your help
to help it happen, essentially.
You're a very disappointing time traveler.
-Can I have some specifics?
-Whose place is this?
-Okay, just keep an open mind.
-CASPER: Percy, I'm back!
-Yo, what the fuck?
-Yeah, all right.
Oh, there you are. Brought a friend.
-Remember this guy?
-Oh, um... Hey, man.
Do you know this man?
He tried to kill me.
-No. Come on now, Percy.
You know that's not true.
You tried to kill you.
-I saved the guy. I'm a hero.
-Holy shit. Is that a fucking gun?
Yes. But don't panic, okay?
I'm just gonna slowly take it out,
all right? Everybody be cool.
I'm gonna put it on the table.
There we go. Okay?
There it is. On the table.
We just need to figure this all out.
Figure what out?
Did you kidnap this guy?
No. No. Don't nod, Percy. You know I...
Look, you can't kidnap someone
in their own place.
-Yes, you can!
-No, you can't! I don't think.
I'd have to check on that.
That's a rule somewhere.
But regardless of that,
we do have to get rid of him.
-Percy, you... I told you!
-He knows.
-Fuck you, man! Not cool.
You just made me an accessory,
or whatever.
Do you know what happens
when they find someone who looks like me
breaking into some meek-ass
white dude's home?
I've probably left fucking CSI prints
and shit everywhere.
They're gonna fuckin' track me down
with one of those purple-light cum-guns!
-What are you thinking?
-I don't know!
-Thinking's not my forte.
Okay? Which is why I need your help.
He is not supposed to be here, okay?
Look, if I don't fix this,
it's the end of the road for both of us.
-Maybe for everyone.
-So, what, you wanna kill him?
No. I just need you to convince him
that he has to die.
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm. Nope.
Look, I know it's weird, okay?
I'm just trying to do the right thing.
No, no, you're not.
You're getting me to stick my neck out
to fix your mistake.
I went to see that Betty woman today.
-She was dead, man.
-Wait. What time did you get there?
Before noon like I stipulated?
-I mean, maybe I was a bit late.
See, that's why
when someone from the future
tells you something important,
it's important.
Okay! Maybe this is a sign.
-A what?
-A sign.
An opportunity, you know? I mean, like,
the world's fucked up, right?
Look at this place. Look at this guy.
Maybe we can help him.
This is a chance to start making, um,
a positive impact... or something.
So the exact opposite thing to what
I told you was vitally important.
No! You already know things work out.
Okay, but maybe it works out
because you told me about this stuff.
Maybe I'm the solution.
It's like, um, a... a loop or some shit.
No, it's not. And, no, you're not.
I'm 100% certain.
There could be a loop.
It's not a loop, okay? It's not a thing.
Do you remember why I work with you?
Why I trust you with stuff?
It's because
you're not significant, okay?
Nothing you do
will ever have a consequence.
But that's a good thing for me.
This is really important.
-I'll help you, okay?
So this is really fucked up.
And we're not killing anyone, okay?
Okay, no.
As long as he dies.
Well, I'm open to other ideas.
HOLLY: Can we just, like,
buy him a bus ticket up north,
and tell him to stay quiet or something?
CASPER: No chance.
That is way too risky.
Well, I'm gonna need some suggestions
from you outside of straight-up murder.
I know, I know! Just wait.
Okay, we gotta go. Yeah. Might be
an idea to get out of here anyway.
So we'll grab Percy.
We'll go back to my bunker.
-We'll figure it out there.
-Oh, fuck.
CASPER: Percy! I think
you blocked the door by accident.
Does he have a fucking landline
in there?
What's a landline? A phone? Percy!
We know you've got a landline in there.
Get off it. We've gotta go!
-DORIS: Percy Sullivan?
Oh, there you are. Mr. Sullivan,
I'm so glad you're not dead.
-You are?
-I truly am.
Oh, Jesus. He's obviously calling
the cops. We need to go.
CASPER: Who are you talking to in there?
It's not the cops, is it?
-Do you want to be a hero, Mr. Sullivan?
-CASPER: Percy, please!
Come on. We can figure this out!
Sorry about that, mate.
-So, are we going somewhere?
CASPER: Just here, thanks. Perfect.
Okay. All right, let's go.
-Is that your car?
-No. Come on.
HOLLY: Is that not a bit weird?
It'll just be someone
who stopped for a pee in the woods.
Don't worry about it. Come on!
This is not assuaging my fear
that you're gonna murder me.
-It's cool, Percy. I promise.
-We're almost there. You'll see.
We'll figure this out.
Well, well, well, look who's here.
-What have you done?
You've been harboring this sex-slave
gimp suit on my daddy's land.
You brought the CIA
onto my fucking door!
What are you talking about, you idiot?
I thought we were friends.
Percy, now!
-Oh, fuck!
-No! I'll fucking kill you, Percy!
-Stasis or Static?
-What? You're from home?
-Stasis or Static?
-I don't know the code.
I know that it is a code.
I don't know what it is!
Please. Look, everything's okay, okay?
I promise!
-Why are you here?
-Stop it!
-You've had months. What have you done?
Please stop hitting me.
-How are you planning to stop it?
-Stop what? I don't know what you mean!
I don't know what you mean.
What the fuck is that?
-What the...
-No, don't.
I know you have a plan.
You've spoken of a plan.
-(SHOUTS) So, what is the plan?
-I was just bored!
-Wha... what?
-Yeah, bored.
I didn't have anything going on
back home. I was lonely.
I just thought it would be cool,
come to the 21st century, you know?
I mean, it's not as cool as the 20th,
yeah, but it's still, you know, it's...
Look, I found a portal accidentally.
And instead of reporting it, I did
some prep, and I went through, okay?
I had no one back home
to say goodbye to, so I just went.
And I'm here, and I've done nothing.
I've changed nothing!
No, no, no, no. But you live here
in a bomb shelter like a terrorist.
Yeah, because it's off the grid, okay?
I'm out of harm's way here.
I mean, no one's gonna step foot
on this guy's property for years,
until some clerk discovers a buildup
of unpaid taxes and his corpse
in a couple of decades.
-Wait. What?
Look, I've not spoken
to anyone meaningfully
that wasn't already on their way out,
apart from Holly, okay?
But she knows nothing
and doesn't matter.
The holes and the radiation,
you told everybody about a plan.
Yeah, because when you say
you've got a plan, people listen to you.
So I guess my plan was... have fun.
And along the way,
preserve some forgotten art and history.
-You know, collectibles.
-Really? Honestly?
That was your plan?
To leave your whole life behind
and come here
and just, like, dick around
and collect shit?
What kind of psychopath does that?
Ooh. I... I can't believe this.
Look, back home, my life had no purpose.
I was so bored.
Look, everything was fine
until Percy screwed it up, okay?
It wasn't supposed to go that way,
and I tried to fix it. I really did.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't bring myself to...
Look, I know it's a mess now,
but Holly hasn't done anything.
Um... What are...
It's some meditation stuff
from the future.
It's New Age. It's weird.
You basically...
You put yourself into a trance.
DORIS: Be quiet!
Be quiet.
Well, can I just say this?
The fact that you're here
means you pretty much made
the same decision as I did.
-So are we that different?
-I have a job, you little shit!
I'm supposed to be here.
I'm the Sentinel
for this entire district.
I'm supposed to stop people like you.
Well, no, that's not right
because you're not a terrorist.
You're... worse.
I'm not supposed to stop people like you
because we honestly didn't think
that people like you
were stupid enough to exist.
Look, I know it's a mess.
But we can fix this.
-Yeah, we can.
I mean, Chuck's heard a few things,
but look at the guy.
He's... he's got no friends.
-Hey, fuck you, brother!
-I'm just saying, you know?
-What, this man? This man here?
Oh, Jesus.
-So, you're not a terrorist.
-CASPER: No! Why are you killing people?
I mean, that's gotta be way worse
than anything I've done.
Why? All these people
are gonna die anyway.
What's that?
The Convergence
resets so much of the world
that literally anything
that happens before it
which doesn't directly impact those
events is... is completely irrelevant.
Yeah, but that's not, like,
for a long time, right?
-Uh, what is the Convergence?
-Why live your life in squalor?
And adhere to all these little rules
and behaviors
that change absolutely nothing
except make you less comfortable?
-I like this place.
-DORIS: Oh, that's almost adorable.
Do you know, our leaders
use the portals all the time?
Proper ones. Not that pathetic
little anomaly that you stumbled in on.
A good chunk of our leadership
retires to Pre-Convergence days
and lives out their lives in luxury.
In fact, the hegemon who hired me
is living in a Spanish castle right now
and hunts people for sport.
Bitch! What is the Convergence?
Hmm. Okay.
In 53 years,
within an eight-month period,
the planet experiences
simultaneous megathrust earthquakes
and a solar storm
that wipes out huge swaths
of digital information and satellites.
The population loss, along with a lack
of proper communication networks
and an already tenuous public trust
in institutional authority,
leads to a period of global upheaval
and the fall of most major governments.
Billions die.
But in the end,
once the failures, parasites,
and whiners are washed away,
the people who matter come back
from up there and down there
and find a way for the rest of us
to live in paradise as nature intended.
-You fucking knew about this?
-I mean...
I mean, I don't know. It just...
It happened so long ago, okay?
You'll probably never see it.
I just had to keep things
the way they're supposed to...
-Oh, my God. Fuck the both of you.
-Holly, please. We're working it out.
So, what now? Are you gonna kill us?
-I mean, there's better options.
DORIS: If you really have no intention
of stopping it,
then all of this has been for nothing,
which is very irritating.
But there's no reason you have to die.
I've been, uh...
a little lonely lately.
My therapist is real shit,
and I could use somebody to talk to
who actually remembers home.
You know, if you had been a terrorist,
I'd have killed you already.
But an idiot, a loser?
-I can work with that.
-Well, I mean...
I know we're in a bit
of a rough patch right now.
But I'm sure we can be friends.
-Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.
I mean, there's definitely... There's
definitely a connection, isn't there?
Well... we've got...
But I tell you who's ruining the vibe.
-Maybe we should let her go.
-What? Oh, no. Not now.
-Oh, shit.
-You see?
If she disappears right here and now,
it doesn't matter.
But now that she knows,
we can't let her live.
-Either of them really, just to be safe.
-Oh, God.
Realistically speaking,
there are only about 120 people
who could really make any difference
to things, but I like to be thorough.
(CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me.
-I forgot you still had that!
-Fucking shoot her, Percy!
-Just let me go.
-I don't care about them.
-Oh, fuck!
Isn't it so unhygienic how everything's
still made of metal here?
It's so primitive.
I can almost feel it
corroding in my hands.
Yeah, it's an old gun.
All the same, it is still
strangely satisfying to hold.
MAN: Hello? I can hear you in there.
-There's no use in pretending.
-Are you alone?
I am completely alone. Stasis or Static?
-The moment is mine.
-Oh, good.
I'm coming down now.
HOLLY: What the hell?
-HOLLY: What the fuck?
-Oh, hey, guys! Long time, no see.
-Is that me?
Oh, shit, shit, shit!
I felt that.
Oh, shit! Stop it!
-I've got the thing. I've got the thing.
-What do I do?
-Go! Just get out of here.
That is adorable. (LAUGHS)
You gotta mean it, dear. (LAUGHS)
-Fuck you, cop.
-You did it!
-Oh, shit. That's nasty.
-CASPER: Oh, my God. That was amazing!
-Oh, fuck.
You okay, Holly?
Holly? You okay, buddy?
-Oh, there he goes.
See you, Percy!
Doesn't really matter now, right?
It's probably for the best.
So are you gonna untie me or...
Were you seriously not gonna tell anyone
about this apocalypse shit?
Look, Holly, it's not my place, okay?
-I can't...
-Oh, Jesus!
-We good?
-Yeah! We're good.
-Um, thanks for the save.
-Yeah, no probs.
I was a bit worried that you and I
might explode when we saw each other.
I'm glad that didn't happen.
Where's Percy?
-Oh, he took off.
-Oh, damn it! Shit, shit, shit!
Holly, you gotta go get him.
Fuck that guy. Let him get lost
in the fucking woods.
Holly, no, it's the Convergence.
It's because of him! It's because of us!
-It's the time loop thing!
-See? I told you it was a fucking loop!
OLD CASPER: Yeah, you were right!
That's why I'm here. I need your help!
-I need you to kill him.
-Wait. What? No, I can't.
He causes the death
of billions of people!
Come on! He held a gun to your head.
-Wake up! This is it!
-Holly, I don't know about that.
Shh! Come on. It has to be you.
I've tried and failed twice.
This is the most important thing
you could ever do.
We're not done here.
I'm still pissed at at least one of you.
Holly, don't! You don't have to do this.
OLD CASPER: Go, Holly.
-You're not gonna hurt him, right?
-No. It's in my best interest.
Without him, there's no me.
Good luck!
Oh, wait!
Whoo! (LAUGHS)
Wow! I can't believe I pulled that off.
(SIGHS) Look at this old place.
Takes me back to when I was here.
What a trip!
Um, look, obviously
you've been planning this for a while,
but you're freaking me out right now.
What's going on?
You're right. It has been a long time.
But not me. We.
OLD CASPER: The first go around
didn't end too well.
After Doris killed Holly,
Percy-boy actually grew some backbone.
He took her down.
She underestimated the guy.
So did we, to be fair.
But then he didn't let me go.
He heard enough about the Convergence
that he decided to stop it.
He kept me, or us, here for years, man.
Fashioned himself
as some kind of revolutionary hero.
He had our notes. And he had access
to all of Doris's stuff.
He made me tell him
whatever I remembered
about what was coming
until it stopped coming true.
That's exactly the kind of question
that brings our society to a halt,
the kind of question...
OLD CASPER: He changes it.
I mean, he talks to enough people,
stirs enough shit.
He changes everything.
Now who knows what's gonna happen?
It took me way too long
to get myself together enough to escape.
It was too late to stop him,
but I could still go back.
I still remembered the coordinates
of the first portal that ever showed.
Not easy to get to. Then I spent
about a month waiting for it.
It was a bad time.
-But then...
Landed a full two years
before we got here the first time.
Not the most convenient,
but pretty good.
Plenty of time to make sure
we don't interrupt Percy-boy
and that he does
what he has to do the first time.
OLD CASPER: But here's the thing.
Even with a plan,
it's a long time to just wait around.
With everything I knew,
it was easy to get set up.
So to kill time, I really leaned
into the whole hedonism thing.
I have to say,
it was a great couple of years.
Might have overdone it a bit,
to be honest.
What day is it? Sunday?
Nah, bruh. This shit is Monday.
Oh, fuck! Okay, no! Just go!
I admit it, I messed up, okay?
My brain was fried.
I even got the wrong roof,
can you believe it?
Oh, shit!
Oh, there he is.
Do it! Shoot him!
CASPER: Oh, God! I can't do it.
God! What is wrong with me?
Are you kidding me?
We mess up our second chance?
How did we fuck up so badly?
(SIGHS) I know, I know, okay?
Believe me, I know.
And then I figured
our next inflection point
isn't till we're all down here together.
Problem is, originally,
that's not for another three years.
Wait. What?
You see, the first time I come through,
after Percy refuses to die,
Holly manages to convince me
that he should live down here
in the bunker,
which I reluctantly accept.
But then eventually, Doris still finds us.
You see, she tracks us
because of those radiation holes.
There she is, yeah.
That little gift for the future?
Well, that really backfires.
Wait. But then...
Look, I couldn't wait
another three years. I just couldn't.
I mean, what if I screwed up again?
I couldn't handle it.
I learned an awful lot about Doris
while Percy held me hostage.
Her phone number, for one.
-What the fuck is that?
-OLD CASPER: And it worked!
Once I got you all here, everything
played out exactly like it did before.
Stasis or Static?
So the timeline just kind of congeals
over the changes and keeps on rockin'.
-Mushy blob of reality.
But why couldn't you
have saved me earlier, hmm?
Look at my face.
She spent half an hour bashing my face.
Calm down, mate.
I'm no oil painting, all right?
I was psyching myself up, okay?
This was a big moment for me.
And why did you let Holly...
Where are you going?
Can you at least untie me?
I'd love to,
but I've gotta give Holly more time.
I'm hoping she kills the guy. Killing
two birds with one stone if you like.
-What do you mean?
-Well, I've tipped off the cops. Yeah.
So Doris was right.
Holly is a loose end.
And basically she doesn't really matter.
-Doesn't matter?
-I mean, in the grand scheme of things.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, I do like her.
But the most important thing
is that we are not arrested.
And, of course, that Percy dies.
I'm sure you appreciate that by now.
So, basically, Holly takes him out,
and then the cops arrive,
and they arrest Holly.
-That's the plan.
-Sounds horrible.
(SCOFFS) You should try being me
and living through the fact that she died.
I had to witness it, okay?
That's horrible.
One of several memories
I don't want in my head anymore.
At least this way,
she goes to jail and doesn't die.
That's a step up.
So, Percy's out of the picture.
He can't ruin the future anymore.
Holly's in the slammer.
Bit of a bummer, but no loss to history.
And then there's us.
Now, as you know,
we can't seem to pull the trigger.
Too weak. But I think Holly can do it.
I believe in her.
But if she does screw up,
we're gonna have to have another go.
Oh, and one more thing. (SIGHS)
There can't be two of us.
It's too weird.
And we've spoken to each other
for too long now.
I mean, it doesn't make any sense.
So one of us has to go.
I had a quick vote in my head,
and I voted myself.
-I hope this is not gonna hurt you.
I know mentally, it might.
But it's for the best.
Try not to think about it.
I probably shouldn't have done it
in front of you.
-But it's too late now.
-Oh, no, no.
I'm sorry. Good luck.
Be a better person. Good night!
Jesus! Fuck!
Right in front of me!
You... Fuck! I'm an idiot.
Oh, that's me fucked for life.
That's counseling.
Oh, Jesus.
Holly! Holly, wait up!
It's all good.
We're gonna stop this thing, okay?
Holly? Holly!
-No, stop! Please go away!
-HOLLY: No, no, no! No, no.
It's okay. It's okay.
We're gonna work this all out, okay?
Hey, man. Sorry for the delay.
But, um, we've actually been talking.
-Holly, he's gotta go.
-Oh, God!
No, no, it's cool, man, really.
We've talked about it.
And he's not gonna do
that Convergence thing.
We're gonna make sure it doesn't happen.
Holly, that's the whole thing!
Okay? He stops it!
He screws the whole future up.
It has to happen.
No, I won't stop anything. I swear.
God damn it, Percy!
Yes, you will! You have to!
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-What's wrong with you?
Why are you trying to change things
when you know it works out?
Who does it work out okay for exactly,
huh? Maybe we can do something.
Maybe there's a way
without killing billions of people.
I don't make them die.
It's not my fault.
It's not my responsibility.
Jesus. You're like a parody
of a white guy.
Look, I've just been through something
really, really existentially dark.
And quite frankly,
I could do with some leeway here.
Fucking own your shit for once!
Okay, it's owned. I'm sorry.
Nothing works out
unless you do something, okay?
That's the basic principle
of fucking life.
Please don't.
-It's for the best.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh.
(SCREAMS) Oh, my God. Casper!
I'm not gonna do anything, okay?
I won't do anything!
No, wait! Oh, fuck.
Okay, well, that's not really ideal
for either of us.
-Just shut up! Okay?
-What are you doing?
I don't know what I'm fucking doing.
Applying pressure.
-That's too much pressure!
-Okay! Shit.
-Don't worry. It doesn't matter.
-Yes, it fucking matters!
This isn't too bad.
Maybe this is the now.
-It feels like the now.
-Stop talking, okay?
We've gotta go. Let's go.
-No, no. No, um...
Come on, get up. Get up, get up.
-I can't move my leg.
-Fucking heavy.
-I know.
-Let's go. Oh, sh... Fuck!
-I can't walk!
Fuck. Oh, shut up for a second, okay?
-I'm from the future.
-I know, I know. Okay. Just...
WOMAN: But despite that skepticism
from the publishing industry,
Mr. Sullivan's book
has already gained much notoriety
for the surprising accuracy
of his predictions. (LAUGHS)
Some online are even calling him
potentially the most important
political cartoonist in history.
So I am very proud to present
Mr. Percy Sullivan!
Hey, Percy.
I like the scarf.
Here. This is everything I found
in her condo. Take it.
All I ask is that I never see you or him
ever again.
-Thanks, Percy.
-I'm doing my part, you know.
Telling them the truth.
Helping them... with my art.
You wanna save the world?
Knock yourself out.
-CROWD: Ten, nine, eight...
-Here it comes!, six...
-Five! No?
-Five, four, three, two, one!
-...five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
Everything's still fine.
I knew it would be.
-There you are!
-Hey! Did I miss it?
-You missed it. So close!
Spoiler alert.
Very similar to last year.
Just basically counting down from 10.
-And then they say, "Happy New Year."
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-How's Percy?
-He's okay.
-He even threw us a copy of his book.
-Oh, wow.
-Any good?
Honestly, it fuckin' sucks, bro.
-Does it?
But it does literally predict the future.
-So it's got that going for it.
-Well, you can do that yourself now.
Think you got everything you need?
To stop it?
I don't know.
She said there's...
there's maybe 120 people
who could actually change things, right?
-I know where they live.
-Well, look at you!
I feel like I've turned your life around.
Bro, we literally met
while you were eating my garbage.
That's true. I forgot that. Oh, God.
Mmm... So, how will we know
if we stopped it? What will happen?
It will most likely be
some sort of paradox
that'll swallow reality whole.
-Or maybe nothing?
Maybe nothing will happen.
Yeah. I like the idea of nothing.
-So... are you sure about this?
-Yeah. I was born to be, mate.
Oh, God. Yeah, it has to be this way.
I'll be back from time to time.
I'll be fine. There's a plan.
I'm from the future, you know.
CASPER: I don't know if you'll have
heard of Holly or what she's done,
but I hope so.
It's probably pointless, but she's right,
it's worth trying for something better.
I know the future is already written,
but maybe it shouldn't be.
After all, we rewrite history
all the time. Why not the future?
Holly! Everyone's here.
The checkpoints are locked.
The trucks are loaded up.
Everything is in position.
-What's our next move?
-Let's save the fucking world.
CASPER: But if you've got any questions
or concerns, I'm happy to oblige.
If you're reading this,
you'll know where to find me.
-I'll be right here.
-MAN: Hi! Yeah, hi. Hi.
Uh, Stasis or Static?
Stasis or Static?
-The moment is mine.
-Okay. Perfect. Great. Oh, my God.
We followed your signal, and we
desperately, desperately need to talk.
Okay, hang on a sec, buddy.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
Thank you.