Remote Viewing (2018) Movie Script
1
- Shut up or
I'll slit your throat.
- Stop!
- Why don't you yell cut like
every other director
in the world?
- Because it's digital
and there's no film to cut.
- Get that
light outta my eyes.
- And why aren't you
wearing the blue sweatshirt
like you're supposed to?
- Why didn't you
tell me that earlier?
- Because
we don't have
a wardrobe girl, that's why.
- We don't have hair,
or makeup, or wardrobe.
- Hey,
you wanna grab this?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The whole Freudian
psychological thing,
why the rapist is even
attracted to his prey
wearing these blue
sweatshirts, is because of, uh.
Shepard, explain
it to her, please.
- Well, he's attracted
to blue because--
- Because his father
wanted to punish him
by drowning him in
the swimming pool?
- Very good Heather.
If you knew that, why didn't
you wear the blue sweatshirt?
- That is
a good question.
- Oh, are we still filming?
- Yeah, well this is gonna
be good for the documentary
behind the scenes,
making of, you know.
Always film, always film.
That was the last
shot of the evening
and I think it was good enough.
I just have to figure out
another psychological thing
for the, another
viewpoint, another.
Got it.
I got it, red ticks him
off because it reminds him
when he was just like a
little two-year-old kid
and his insane parents
would abuse the heck out
of him by force
feeding him bottles--
- Bottles of ketchup, ketchup so
he would vomit red everywhere!
- I like that, that's it, good.
Okay.
- Genius, Joey.
- So, listen, I think
we did good work.
Let's like call it a night.
That's a wrap!
Let's just get the lights
packed up, the bags.
Come on, let's get outta here.
- Why don't, why
don't you just turn
this into a biography about me?
- Should we
ditch the other guys?
- My shins hurt.
My shoulder hurts.
Did you have to bang me so hard?
- I'm sorry, I just
wanted it to be realistic.
- Yeah?
Realistic enough for you now?
- All
right, come on down.
Straight ahead, get a nice shot.
Closer, walk to, a bit forward.
Get the nice foreground
leaves here, that's good.
Dutch it a little bit, Dutch it.
Get it scary, Dutch it.
- Da-na.
- More, more.
- Da-na.
- I thought
you wanted to stay away
from the typical horror music?
Besides, we can't afford
the rights to that anyway.
- Where's Joey?
Come on, dude.
- Come on, sexy.
- Hi, Joey!
- How do you get it to do that?
- It actually balances
on a few grains of salt.
- Do you guys ever stop filming?
Addicts!
- Filmmaking is kind of
like an arranged marriage.
You never really know
what you're gonna get.
- Yeah, especially if
you were to marry you.
- You wish.
- Ooh, fighting words.
- Am I being a bitch?
- Yeah, but we're used to
it so we still love you.
- Yeah,
well, men are bastards.
- Not us.
- Maybe it's just
that I'm on my moon.
- Tell us about it!
- No!
- Sexual tension.
- Yeah.
Wow.
1896, is that the
oldest one you have?
- Uh, I think I
might have older.
Heather.
- What?
- Ever seen one of these babies?
- No.
- This is a Morgan
Silver Dollar.
Now, George Morgan was
an assistant engraver
in the Philadelphia
Mint and he wanted
to represent the
Liberty differently,
rather than the usual
Greek-style figures, right?
So he decided to use
an American model.
Enter Anna Willis Williams
from Philadelphia.
Now, after five
sittings he decides
that she had the most perfect.
What the heck?
Heather, let me see your
profile for a minute.
Come on in here.
Lean in, would you,
something curious.
Wait a second, look at that.
As I thought, it's a
perfect profile, Heather.
Just like the silver dollar.
- I don't know, I
think it looks more like Joey.
You guys are precious.
- Now,
Heather, I would like
you to hold on to
this as symbol,
as metaphor that
you're so perfect.
- Normally,
we'd use a treasure chest
filled with those.
- A hundred years ago,
I was the perfect woman.
- Dude, Shep, you're dad is
a killer with the ladies.
- If only the women knew that.
- Is everyone eating
here paying today?
- Beautiful.
- Alright.
Okay, thank you for everything.
Only thing, the
tip is on you guys.
Thank you, guys.
You have another nice day, okay?
- How we doing this?
- The old
credit card routine.
- But you're broke, Houston.
- Yeah, but I got big visions.
From the dark
and magic spaces
Drifting on and navigating
through the corridors
Of sunlight in the
country of your own mind
Won't you tell
me that you need
- Look at this
sweet, panoramic shot.
- What are you doing, dude?
- Dude,
get out of the way.
- I don't wanna kiss you, dude.
- Dude, what are you?
- Let's go, boys.
Crazy class starts
in five minutes.
- Yeah, what are
you teaching today?
- You see what I have to
put up with with these two?
- Look out!
- So, will this help
me find treasure?
- Well, to be honest with you,
it depends on your ability.
You might be able to,
perhaps, perhaps not.
- Dad, this things
wobbling like a drunken sailor.
I'm gonna ditch it.
- Well, try the counterbalance.
- I did.
- Alright, do you.
The alleged psychic ability
to perceive an object
beyond the realm of
ordinary senses or science.
This is called remote viewing.
Training to use our
minds like radios.
Tuning into the unique
electromagnetic signals
that emanate from every
object or individual.
- As long as it helps
us find treasure, eh?
- Down with that.
- Woo!
- Out of curiosity, has
anyone found any treasure?
- Anybody
wanna answer that?
Go ahead.
Elizabeth, tell
'em all about it.
- My diamond ring, I lost it,
I couldn't find it for weeks,
so I did the remote
viewing and did a drawing
of what I thought looked
like a vacuum cleaner,
but I didn't think it'd
be in the vacuum cleaner
since the housekeeper changes
the bag every week, right?
But I kept on drawing
that same image.
So, I know it was in vain,
but I had Seymour, my husband,
take apart the vacuum cleaner
and, believe it or not,
he found the ring stuck
in the inside mechanism
before it even reached the bag.
- Wow.
- Whoa.
- That would explain why it
had such a whistling sound.
- Whoa, what do
you make of that, okay.
- Brilliant.
- Cool, huh?
- Anyone wanna do an experiment?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
I want you all to
relax, close your eyes.
Relax your mind, breathe.
Let images come through
your consciousness.
See what kind of textures
you see or colors.
And when you're relaxed,
in a minute or two,
you're gonna open up your
eyes, start drawing lines,
arms, whatever seems to
illustrate your vision.
It might be the object
in its totality.
Find a space that
has no significance.
Okay, so take a moment
and when you're ready,
we're gonna do this.
And when you come
outta your trance,
I want you to start drawing.
Okay, boys and girls,
unbeknownst to anyone,
including myself,
except for Sang
manning the projector
in the back.
And say hello,
Sang, to the group.
Say, hello.
- Hello, everyone.
- He's the only
one that knows what
the projected image is gonna be.
So I'd like to see what you guys
have drawn from
your consciousness.
Let's see what you got.
Ah, funny face, hamburger.
Is that communism there?
Mm, she's gotten
something on her mind.
Take a look at this, Shepard.
Very nice.
And, Sang, hit it!
What do we got?
Whoa, look at that, not quite.
What, where you going?
Where you going?
- Fucking bullshit.
- You're a joke.
- What're
you girls saying?
- She think you're a fake
and she want her money back.
- No, hey.
- I want my money back!
- We're just
beginning, we have--
- No!
- But we are only beginning.
- I want my money back!
- But wait, we still
have to practice.
- No!
- I would like to have
my money back, too.
I'm gonna get my baby daddy.
Gonna beat you down!
- No, no, no, no, no.
You don't wanna
get him over here.
- Professor Houston?
- Yes.
- More like Professor Useless.
- I'm sorry.
- I believed in you.
- I did, too!
You don't believe
in me any more?
What's going on here?
- Don't quit your
day job, Professor.
- But this is my day job.
What is he talking about?
- You're one step away, buddy.
I know people.
- But I didn't finish the class.
- Yes, yes!
I have my proof, I'm
going to the news!
You're so going out!
I got my proof!
- Oh, boy.
No, not Elizabeth, not you.
Elizabeth.
- I'm sorry, it's not working.
- What about the ring?
What are you talking about?
- I don't trust anymore.
I think he's seeing
that Amazon bitch
at work behind my back.
I thought he took the
ring to give to her,
so I gave him an ultimatum and
told him if he didn't give me
back the ring, I was
gonna give him the worst
divorce of his life
and sue his ass!
- Well, how many
times was he divorced?
- None.
- Wow.
- I bet you he made
believe he found
the ring in the vacuum cleaner.
Sorry, Houston.
- Oh, I'm sorry myself.
- There goes the redhead.
- Liz, that the hell is this
legal mumbo jumbo crapola?
What, you think you can
just walk out on me?
Me, huh?
What, you got some
big hotshot lawyer?
You're gonna take
half of what is mine!
My freaking money, mine!
I slave my balls off
down on them docks!
No fricking way.
I'm not taking anymore of your
Liz, biz, bull crap anymore!
Let's see this goddamn ring.
This thing is mine, this ring.
This is not gonna be paraded
around on your unready fingers.
I got plenty of other
younger, prettier little
fingers out there just waitin'!
- You know what?
You just take that ring and
wrap it around your dick!
'Cause it would fit loosely!
- Oh yeah?
- Oh yeah!
- Yeah?
- Oh yeah.
- You're pathetic!
You freaking call off
your lawyers or I will
burn down the house
with you in it!
Oh, that's funny?
You find that funny?
Then, they're gonna
find your charcoal body
somewhere down in
the goddamn ditch!
What the hell, are
you filming this?
- Alright, no problem.
I'm all right.
I just may be a little
puffy under the left eye.
Or was it the right eye?
I don't know but I'm a little
concerned about the lens.
Make sure the camera's
okay, would you?
- Yeah, the camera's okay.
- I'm worried about Elizabeth.
- Oh, don't worry
about Elizabeth.
They have this
sick codependency.
They fight like
this all the time.
They go home and they
make crazy sex together.
Hanging from the
chandelier, she told me so.
- Ooh, that's kinda special.
- No, but I'm really glad
that you guys were filming
that even though
it was dangerous.
- Remote viewing is bullshit.
- What are
you talking about?
- A breast?
A penis?
Do yourself a
favor and everybody
else here and just drop it!
- I guess she's angry.
- What did you draw anyway?
Houston, what is this?
- I just jotted down what I saw.
- It's the same.
- Dad, it's exactly the same.
You didn't know the target.
- No.
- Sang.
You picked randomly, right?
- Yes.
Picked out the trace
from hundreds of slides.
Here, check it out.
- It could
have been any of those.
- Yeah, how could
you have known?
- Well, you know,
that's the strange,
weird thing about
remote viewing.
- Why'd you crumple it?
- Angry.
Wondering why nobody
else ever gets it right.
- You've done this before?
- Yup.
- This accurate?
- Yeah, that's why I figured
I'd give a class on it.
- I thought you were
just making this up
to rip people off and
make a living off of it.
- Then I figured it was a
very interesting premise
that we could do a good
docudrama on, as well.
- Hm.
Supposedly, if you let
your conscious mind relax
using systematic protocols, you
can see your target anywhere
in the universe no matter where,
no matter the distance,
no matter the time.
- Can you see the future?
- There were a couple
times where I wasn't sure.
- Look, there's all
sorts of stories here
of people finding lost
items using remote viewing.
During the Cold War, the
CIA associated with SRI
they find a secret
remote viewing research
called Stargate Project
where psychics were able
to view and describe a new
class of Soviet submarine.
- The Government did this?
It must be real.
- Unless it's
coincidence looking real.
I never could tell if it's my
mind playing tricks or not.
I used to be getting these
tantalizing images, too.
- What kind
of tantalizing images?
- Treasure.
- Okay, so
you actually want the
voice recorder in
a shot like this?
- I think that we
need more incense.
- No, that's okay, Joey.
- No?
- What
do you got so far?
- Nope.
Still nothing.
I gotta turn some lights
on so I can see better.
- I just lit the candles.
- I know, but you're not
actually lighting the room.
- Helping with the mood.
- Yup.
- I need some quiet.
- It's alright, Dad.
Are you getting anything yet?
- No.
- This stuff smells terrible.
- We have Japanese,
Native American,
and we've got Tibetan.
Do you like spicy?
- No, I don't need
any of this stuff.
I just need to quiet my mind.
- Do you
want us to leave then?
- No, I want you to
film this as it happens.
- If it happens.
- Thanks.
- Come on, Heather,
give my Dad a shot.
Take a look at the
images here, I mean.
Way too many reoccurring
themes of treasure
and the same chest
up in the classroom.
I mean, the jewels, this all
just, it can't be coincidence.
And kinda creeps
me a little a bit.
We just need the location
then we'll go find it.
- Maybe it's in a museum.
- Yeah, maybe it's in
Pirates of the Caribbean.
- Maybe, come on, guys.
Maybe it's actually
real and it's just
out there waiting for
us to come and get it.
It's like I can hear
Billy Crystal saying,
"Come and get me, come and
get me, come and get me!"
- Yeah, maybe we
should call it a night
because, I'm sorry, I
just can't get anything.
- Sorry kids.
- I think you were close.
- I'm gonna go get 40 winks.
- Well, you heard him, boys.
Nighty night.
- Hey, Shepard.
Shepard?
- Hm?
- I've got a blueprint
for the site.
- What?
- Take a look at
this, come here.
I gotta take the 405 South.
Whereto, I don't know?
- It's this chart.
- Yup, I also drew
this section of a map.
Take a look at this.
X marks the spot under
the haunted tree.
What that exactly means,
I don't know, but.
- Well, it can mean
anything, it can be anywhere.
There's no street names.
- There's something else,
take a look at this.
- Are you kidding me?
Is that a dead body?
- Shh, you're gonna wake him up.
- What dead body?
- What dead body?
- You guys scared
the shit out of me.
- If that is a dead body,
then the only question is
did it die from natural causes?
- Or was it murdered?
- I don't wanna go with
you guys, that's it.
- You're just gonna give
up on the $100 million?
- How do you know
it's $100 million?
- Well, I'm just figuring.
One diamond the size
of a strawberry,
that's an easy million.
The chest is filled
with more of emeralds
and rubies and
doubloons, easily.
- Could be way more than that.
- Could be costume jewelry.
- Hey, believe whatever you
want, but you gotta see this.
Real fortune, bonified,
blood red colored gemstone,
diamond, gold
symbol Au number 79.
I looked all this up.
It's mineral composition's
and it's atomic numbers
and it's all
completely accurate.
- Really?
- Dad, there's no way
you could've known that.
- Okay, what are we waiting for?
Let's go!
- I don't wanna go!
- Wha?
Let's go.
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
- Okay, fine, go.
Just bring me back
a pearl necklace.
- Alright, let's go.
- Let's go search.
- You're gonna go on a witch
hunt at 12:30 at night?
- We have to get out of here!
We don't want anyone
else digging it up first.
- A dead body?
You're gonna dig up a
dead body right now?
This is ridiculous.
Okay, guys, this is me
recording all by myself.
You wanted to record everything
so I'm recording this evening.
By myself.
- Dude, what's that?
- It's a moose call.
- What was that?
- Yo ho, yo ho.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Trying to get us sued?
- Watch the lyrics.
- Come on, guys.
We've got treasure to find.
- that's more like it.
- Hey, look who we got here.
- Oh, I thought
you weren't coming?
- $100 million,
you bet I'm coming!
- Hey, hey, Heather.
- Yes.
- So, you're coming now?
- Yes.
- That's cool.
We're still splitting
it three ways though.
- Ah, it depends who finds it.
- Get in there.
- Oh,
we're finding it.
- You.
- Dude, I
just sent a message.
- Did you ever hear that
story about the woman
who went insane
and beat the shit
out of her man with a shovel?
- Yeah, who do
you think that was?
- Just saying, a woman
with a shovel's dangerous.
- Shep, we're
gonna take a right.
- Alright, we need
a shovel, guys.
- Do you know of any
hardware stores that are open?
- Not this late at night.
- Well, one of us must know
somebody who owns a shovel.
Everybody owns a shovel.
- Yeah, except for us.
- Oh, Aunt Lulu.
- Is that your
sister that's a pirate?
- That's her.
- I love pirates!
- Who goes there?
I will shot the pants off
your butt with my bunderbun!
- Sis, it's your bro.
- Who?
- It's your brother,
I need a shovel.
- Hey, she does
look like a pirate.
- Shit, Aunt Lulu's
blind and deaf.
- This mansion is awful private.
Now why don't you come out here
and I will shoot you straight.
- Oh shit, he's
gonna get us killed!
- Come into the light!
- Lulu.
- Dad, stay out of the light.
- It's your brother, Houston.
- What's that now?
- It's your
brother, Houston.
- Oh, Houston, why
didn't you say so?
Come on in.
- So what did you
think you were gonna
do with my old BB gun anyway?
- Oh, I don't know.
I thought BB King was
a very good performer.
- Great start to my evening.
We almost got shot by somebody's
sister trying to find a shovel.
- Her bark is much
worse than her bite.
She's never killed anybody
in her entire life.
I don't think.
Shepard, direct me, which way?
- Can't you stop those hiccups?
- Boo!
- That's really--
- Boo!
Try it.
- Alright, 405 South.
- Okay, good.
What I wanna do is pull
over somewhere down up there
and I want you to get out,
get like a nice establishing
pull by, drive-by, and use like
a low wide Dutch scary angle.
- How wide do you
wanna go, 16 or 18 millimeter?
- 18 millimeter will
have less distortion.
- Good idea, let's
go with the 18.
- Okay.
- This looks weird, how's this?
- Watch
out for the bogeyman.
- He's
gonna like this shot.
- What's that?
Something out there.
Something definitely out there.
Shit!
- Oh my God, it's a wolf!
- Shep, get in!
- Hurry!
- I wanna go home.
- She's right, we gotta abort.
- It's okay, I'm okay,
everyone's alright.
We're gonna go home now.
Hey, dude?
You wanna do
something about her?
- Would you stop
making so much noise!
Can't you see we've all had a
stressful day, just not you!
- We're going home.
- I think this is like
Dark Night of the Soul.
- What is she talking about?
- Look at this, look!
Wait, Houston, turn around!
- What?
- Look at this!
Look at this, the wolf was
part of the remote viewing.
You saw it, you saw the future!
- I don't know.
- This is so weird.
This is real!
We have to go back, we have
to go after the treasure.
This is real.
This is real now.
- So two close encounters with
death, you wanna keep going?
- But technically
it was only one.
And Aunty Lulu's bark is
much worse than her bite.
If we follow the
papers in detail
we can figure out what's
gonna happen next.
- Coffee anyone?
This place is weird.
- What kind of
restaurant are we at
if they don't even
turn up the lights?
Where is our food?
- You got the 405 South to what?
- He's working on
it, be patient.
- Well, it's a long freeway.
Just imagine it's a treasure map
that's leading us
to $100 million.
- Shh, wait!
Heck, what's he doing?
I'm so hungry!
- I'm gonna go look for him.
- I don't think
we're ever gonna eat.
- It's freezing in here.
- Hello?
Man, good for nothin' waiter.
Dirty robes, supposed
to be on vacation.
I'm up here looking
for this guy.
Hey, I know you guys.
I can see you, but
you can't see me.
Dude, put me on speaker.
I'm in his office right now.
I can see you guys on camera.
Hi, yeah, okay, I see you.
Okay, you can stop waving now.
Oh, man.
Dude, he thinks he's on
Dancing With The Stars!
Oh my god, I think this
guy's a serial killer!
Tell my Mom I love her.
- Sorry, folks, it took so long.
I'm really shy on help tonight.
- This is a steak, I ordered
a tuna fish sandwich.
- I ordered pancakes.
- I don't eat beef.
- Sorry, folks, it took so long.
We're really shy
on help tonight.
What about you?
- A root beer float?
- You didn't order
burger and fries?
- No.
- I could take it all
back, it's no problem.
- That's okay.
- No, don't worry about it.
I wanna get back on
the road, I'll eat it.
- I'll just take my fries, but
can you turn up the lights?
- And the heat.
- The lights.
- Yeah, the lights.
He is so weird.
Can we just get back
to the drawings?
- Yeah, let's go over
what we got so far.
Can I see those, Dad?
Well, a tattooed cop.
- I don't like cops!
- Uh, a key, it's
like an unusual key,
like a skeleton key
or something and it
says lost key with
a question mark.
A bus depot.
Mexican stores?
- Mexico?
No, you guys, the cartel's
gonna chop our heads off.
We can't go to Mexico.
- Wait, there's a girl.
She's running and
somebody's chasing her.
- Wait, that was the
scene we just filmed.
- Well, you see that's
the thing, guys.
Sometimes it's
imagination, memory,
subconscious, it's really
hard to tell the difference.
Maybe it's even all
coincidence, I don't know.
But there is a thing
called confirmation bias,
selective thinking.
- What's that?
- Where one tends to notice
and look for what one believes
and totally ignore what
one does not believe.
- Francis Bacon.
- Mm, bacon.
- No, Francis Bacon,
he's a philosopher.
He said that it's peculiar
and perpetual error.
Human imagination will always
be more moved and excited
by affirmations than by
negatives, it's true.
- Very good, Joey.
Proud of you.
- Thanks.
- When did you
start reading, Joey?
- It didn't happen until
like very recently.
Somebody gave me a
children's book called--
- Okay, you saw the treasure.
You saw the wolf, you didn't
just imagine those things.
Let's keep going.
- The dead body.
- Okay, yuck!
Maybe you did just
imagine that part.
- Guys, I think I
got the location.
I got the location.
- Let me see.
It's a pyramid in Egypt?
- I thought we were
going to Mexico.
Is that why we're
taking the 405 South?
To go the airport,
to go to Egypt?
Are you out of your mind?
Are you insane?
- I have a hunch, I think
it might be something else.
- What?
- 42.3 billion candles?
That's a lotta candles to be
inside a pyramid,
don't you think?
- What you thinkin'?
- Yeah?
- Guys, they're not
inside the pyramid.
They're on top of it.
- That makes
absolutely no sense.
- The tip of this pyramid
has the brightest beam
in the entire world at
42.3 billion candle power.
Do you follow?
- Not at all.
- The Luxor Hotel in Vegas!
- Shit, you're right.
Shep, you're a genius!
We're going to Vegas baby, woo!
- Ya-hoo!
- Would be nice
to have enough money
to do the right thing
once in a while.
- So what's the
scariest thing you
guys have ever encountered?
- The movie Jaws.
When the group had retired to
the boat's cabin, drinking,
getting drunk and showing
each other's scars.
Ehen he tells his
experiences as a survivor
of the sinking of the
SS, the Annapolis.
Witnessing the
entire crew murdered,
being attacked by
1000 hungry sharks.
100 screaming men
being eaten alive.
Blood bubbling up.
- Good movie.
- I think it was the Betty and
Barney Hill abduction of 1961.
Aliens with the
big eyes took them
into their UFO and did
sexual experiments on 'em.
Also there was that
mother that cut
off her son's head and sewed
it to her own shoulder.
That was pretty intense.
- Ghosts.
When you're sleeping
and you wake
'cause you feel a presence.
And you are so scared
you just wanna jump
outta bed and run out of the
room but you can't even move.
It's like that presence
is paralyzing you,
you're just stuck there.
- What are
you most scared of?
- Complete darkness.
- That's it?
- Yeah.
- So you couldn't be Helen
Keller, that's for sure.
- Whoa.
- Jeez.
- We got a flat,
I gotta pull over.
Oh my God, look at this thing.
Must weigh 500 pounds!
Oh.
- You guys even
know how to fix it?
- We're men!
Let's go, Joey.
- Damn, we're losing power.
- What are
you guys waiting for?
The jacks all set up?
- Here we go again,
me and my only friend.
Over in Killarney
many years ago.
- Oh, Shep, you actually do
know how to fix this thing?
- Yeah, don't you?
- Yeah.
And I'd give the world
to hear and then she left
outside the cabin door.
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys, where are you?
Guys?
Where are you?
Guys?
- What's up?
- Holy shit!
Where have you been?
- We had to pee.
- All of you guys
at the same time?
- I guess it's
like an animal thing.
- Yeah, animal thing my ass!
I felt like I was going
to die inside the car!
I was hearing noises and stuff.
- Stop giving her a hard
time, she got spooked.
Come on.
Everything's fine,
come on, let's go.
- Go back into the woods
by yourself, Joey, now!
- Come on, guys, you
wanna go for the treasure?
Big rubies, diamonds,
yachts, airplanes?
Come on.
- Hey, do you remember
earlier when you asked me
like what the problem
with getting married was?
- Point taken.
You think there really
is a treasure, Dad?
- Yeah.
- And we're gonna find it?
- Yeah.
- What are you
gonna do with all that money?
- Buy things, give
gifts, make movies.
What about you?
- All
those same things.
- Reminds me of when you
were a little boy, your Mom
would ask you what do you
wanna be when you get older,
and you would say I just
wanna be just like Daddy.
- Yeah, except
now I know better.
- Yeah.
- Eh, well,
it's still true.
- Do you miss your Mom?
Put that over there.
You miss her?
- If we really do
get that money,
I'm gonna buy her a place
to live right near us.
I could see her whenever I want.
That's just the way
things should be.
- Yeah, that's my boy.
I'll tell you what.
Let's go find that treasure.
- It's a plan.
You guys need toilet paper?
Everyone can join the fun
if you make it in time.
- If we find
that treasure chest,
I'm gonna live in that house.
- Not over there.
- Joey can live there.
I wanna move
I wanna move
- There she is, that
magnificent beacon,
beckoning us to the treasure.
- How far is it?
- Maybe 15 to 20.
- You
think it's in there?
- Oh, there's treasure in
there alright, but not ours.
No, that beam is just pointing
us in the right direction.
While you guys were sleeping,
I did some more remote viewing.
- How did you do it at
the same time as driving?
- I etched it in with my finger
into the condensation
at my side window here.
- There's
nothing over there.
- It must
have evaporated.
- Hey, Houston, pull over.
I have an idea.
- Do that again?
Smart.
That is smart.
- It doesn't make any sense.
- It looks like hieroglyphics.
- It's not too far off
from hieroglyphics.
I think it's called a rebus.
- What the hell is a rebus?
- Oh, rebus is like a
coded message that uses the
images and letters and
numbers instead of words.
- Rebus, I remember that!
Wait, here, look!
- What is she up to?
- I can see you
well, it's a rebus.
- I can see you well.
You get it, Joey?
- What?
I don't get it.
- I remember seeing this
rebus decoder online.
Alright.
So if this is right
it reads, garage sale,
buy map at Stoll and Maple?
Maybe street names, maybe?
- You guys are
the greatest team.
- That's pretty awesome.
- I think you guys are geniuses.
You're the best team
I've ever had, come on.
Back in the car.
- Dude, wherever your
dad is getting these.
Or whoever he's getting these--
- His ideas from.
- They really seem to
enjoy playing a puzzle.
- I don't know about
you guys, but I'm starving.
- Me, too.
- Don't even
say that, you guys.
We have no money.
- Nickel.
- Where
are we, Bratislava?
- Heather, dear, can
you do me a favor?
Check my remote viewing pages.
See if there's one that has
a slot machine then nickel.
- There's one that has
a slot machine, nickel,
thermometer, diner,
and the name Jackson.
- And there's a thermometer!
- Wow, this is
getting really real.
- The largest
thermometer in the world.
And there's a diner under it.
I'm sure it's got slot machines.
- Look at that, guys.
- Ah, is that just a 20?
- Just a 20?
That's it, that's
a 40,000% return
off the nickel he invested!
I'd like to see Wall
Street compare to that.
- Well, actually, that's
Jackson on the front of it.
So that's where the
name Jackson comes in.
- Hey, look guys, it's not
exactly the treasure chest,
but remote viewing is
proving itself to be working.
I mean, it led us
to the thermometer.
It was right about the nickel.
$20 is not a lot, but it's
enough to get us some food,
a little energy in the stomachs,
and we follow the clues!
Keep going, find the treasure.
- That's true, I agree.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- I am sure, Houston,
let me tell you why.
If you indulge me for a second,
allow me to pontificate.
- Yes, please.
- In this life, when you
have a hunch about something,
a feeling, if you will,
what are you gonna
do but go for it?
"Cause tomorrow may never come.
You know, we're just
here for today, possibly,
and you may never have
this chance again.
So that's why, that's
why we're doing it.
- I like it.
- Also I have no ride, so.
- Alright, let's go
eat something, come on.
- Well put, Joey.
- Yup!
- Come on, let's go get--
- I'm so excited I
don't think I can pee!
Oh, God, I made it.
- We need to get
off the main drag.
I want you to take
a right on Summit.
It's about two blocks up.
- Roger, got that!
- Who's Roger?
- I don't know, but
she still dancing back there?
Got this feeling when I
wake up in the afternoon
That I would rather fade
away than take it without you
Good day convince me the
night within me will pass
Good day convince me the
light within me will pass
Got this feeling that I wake
up in the middle of the day
The sunlight isn't
bright enough
To light the
beating of the brain
Good day convince me the
night within me will pass
Good day convince me the
light within me will pass
Got this feeling
that I wake up
- Now that house I know
we definitely passed already.
- Make a right here.
- I don't
know, it looks like we're
going in circles.
- We are
going in circles.
- I know!
- It's the fourth
right you've made.
- We've seen
that red house before.
About six times now.
- Looks like it.
- GPS is giving
me wrong directions.
I don't get it.
- Figures.
- Is there somebody
we could ask?
- Um, I
don't see anybody.
Hey look, look, a
cop, Joey's favorite.
Hey, Joey, you ask him.
- I'll go ask him.
- Officer?
Officer?
- What is he doing?
- Hey, that's not a cop!
- Why is his face--
- Shh!
- What about his face?
- His face is blue.
- Officer,
I'm kinda lost.
- Kinda?
- Well, we're looking
for Stoll and Maple
and our GPS kinda is making us
go around the Mulberry bush.
- Ring around the rosie,
pocket full of posie.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Did you know the
first rhyme invented
in Germany in 1796 was,
ringel, ringel, reihen.
Wir sind der Kinder dreien!
But you don't wanna hear
about my nursery rhyme
so early in the morning, do you?
So I will give you good news.
You have arrived at
your destination.
You are here.
- What?
- Stoll and Maple, you're
streets are right here.
- But I don't see the signs.
- Are they filming me?
- No, well, yeah.
Guys, don't you
know it's impolite
to film without
asking permission?
- Oh, no, no, no,
it's quite alright.
It's quite alright.
Look at this profile, hm.
- Very chiseled.
- And the other side.
Do you know I once won
a kindergarten contest
for my Aryan looks?
- Very chiseled.
- Oh yeah, looks great.
- Um, beautiful.
- Real
nice, real nice.
- Did you see?
He changed the
signs to Mein Kampf.
- Shut up, just shut up.
- They used to be
Stoll and Maple.
I fooled you, see, I fooled you.
Hold.
See, it fooled
you, it fooled you.
See, see, look, it used
to be Stoll and Maple.
It could have fooled anyone.
But it's all well and
good now, isn't it, huh?
Give me that.
Danke schoen.
If you will be
needing anything else.
I am here to protect
and to serve.
- We're good, we're good, right?
Everything's good, guys.
- I never
had so much fun.
- You are seeking
the treasure, hm?
Viva Las Vegas!
X marks the spot!
- Bye bye.
- Thank you.
- Those signs say Mein Kampf.
Do you not know what that means?
- Hitler's manifesto
against the Jews.
I thought that guy was
gonna freaking kill us!
- My heart's never
pounded so hard.
- I almost died laughing.
- You gotta look on
the bright side though.
We did find the tattooed cop.
- So
which house is it?
- You're kidding right?
- Come on, Joey.
We've already come
this far, right?
- Did you not see that guy?
- Listen, people are
starting to wake up.
And I feel like we're
getting close again.
I hear Billy Crystal
and he's saying,
come and get me,
come and get me,
come and get me,
come and get me.
- Alright, alright, alright.
It could be hours
before somebody has a
garage sale around
here, too, though.
- Maybe, in the
meantime I can catch
like 40 and a half winks.
Is anybody else tired?
- After that Nazi cop?
I feel like I'm
never gonna sleep.
- Seriously, how
do you even think
about closing your
eyes right now?
- Joey, he was
driving all night.
Dad, you must be exhausted.
You should sleep and
we'll just keep watch.
- You sure you're
gonna keep watch?
- Of course,
there's three of us.
- Yeah, we got it.
- All right.
- Right, Heather?
- Yeah.
- Hello?
- Yeah.
- Keep watch.
Shep?
- Hm.
- You were supposed to
keep watch, what happened?
- Joey, dude.
- Ah!
- Dude, wake up.
You wee supposed to keep
watch while I napped.
- Heather, Heather!
- What?
- You were supposed
to keep watch while I napped.
- Oh, my eyes were so heavy.
Garage sale!
- What?
- Hey!
Holy shit!
If I don't I'll go insane
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You wouldn't happen to
have any maps for sale.
- Maps, no sorry.
- Did you sell the map?
- I didn't sell any maps.
- No map whatsoever?
- Jewelry, clothes,
TV, lamps, but no maps.
- Well, thanks, anyway.
- Do you know what?
You look like you need
some love in your life.
How about this loveseat?
Nice wicker, I'll sell
it to you real cheap.
- I might like love in
my life, that's true,
but I don't think the
chairs gonna do it.
Thanks anyway.
Come on, guys.
- Oh my God, the map,
the map, look, look!
- What?
- The map!
Hi.
- Hi.
- Is this your map?
- This is my map.
- Can we have it?
- 25 cents.
- 25 cents.
- 25 cents.
There you go.
- 25 cents for her,
a dollar for you.
- 25 cents for me.
- A dollar, oh, well, thank you.
- Is that
really the map?
- Yeah.
- That guy was a dick.
- Everybody in this
part of town is weird.
- So how do I
know where the spot is?
- That's a good question.
- Dad, hold the camera.
Hold the camera.
Heather, give me
that remote viewing
my Dad did earlier of the map.
Thank you.
Okay, alright now put
the map behind it.
This actually looks
like it's working.
- Oh my god, I'm
getting goosebumps!
Look!
It lined up, Whisperer's Pass!
- Look at this!
- Oh my God!
- Look, look, I found
it, I found it, me.
- I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm
rich, Shep you're a genius!
Oh my God, it's amazing.
- This is cool,
the kid's a genius.
- Where to then?
- Some hick town a
few hundred miles east of here.
- Let's follow through with
this and see where it takes us.
- Woo, woo!
My senses tell me run
Twisting me inside
Paralyzing thoughts
go off in my mind
So I curl on my toes
- Look how narrow this is.
I think this is it,
let's pull over here.
I think this is
Whisperer's Pass.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What are you guys waiting for?
You want the treasure
to dig itself
up and hop in the car with us?
Are we committed or what?
- We're not, not committed.
All right.
- Get out, come on.
Get outta the car.
- Wait, shh, do you hear that?
- It sound
like whispering.
- That's why they call
it Whisperer's Pass.
- You're creepy.
You're creepy, creepy!
- It's just Halloween
decorations.
- If this
isn't the haunted tree
then I don't know what is.
This has gotta be it.
- So this is it, guys.
What I wanna do is set up the
perimeter of the lighting.
Lights up here, lights
here, so we can see
what we're doing
and start digging.
Come on.
- Come on,
let's start digging!
- I'm not afraid of,
I want to be brave.
Is there really something
buried in there?
- I'm gonna pull it out.
- No, no, no, don't, don't!
- I'm doing it.
- Oh God.
- It already has blood on it.
- Somebody
buried a stake.
- Joey, you wanna
hold this for me?
Somebody wanna hold this?
I've gotta dig.
Oh, man, I was afraid of this.
Oh my God!
- Is that real?
- Maybe it is just a rubber
hand from the movies.
- Nasty.
- Wearing a ski
mask, whoever it is.
- Who is it?
- We're
gonna find out.
- No, no, no, no, no, no
don't, please, please!
Please don't, please.
- Hey, wait, Houston.
What if he's got brain worms.
Oh god.
- Houston, oh my God!
The Nazi cop!
How?
Look!
- What is it?
- A green wrapper.
You, you did this!
You killed him when
we were asleep!
- It's folded the wrong way.
- Shepard, take a look at this.
- Guys, he's right.
He always folds it lengthwise.
This is along the width.
It's not him.
- What does that mean?
- Well, if it wasn't
you, then who did it?
- Somebody's watching us.
- Who, where?
- It's double remote viewing.
Somebody's remote viewing us.
- Who?
- You're not the only
kook who does this?
Oh, well, you were right
about the dead body.
But there's no treasure.
- Not here anyway.
But I have a suspicion we
find that mysterious person
that's been watching
us and that person's
gonna have some answers for us.
- So now what?
- We have to call 911.
- I got nothing,
what about you guys?
- My phone is dead.
- Alright, guys, we're gonna
have to take the body with us.
Please.
- No way.
I'm not taking that dead
Nazi cop with us in the car.
- Alright, is everyone ready?
- Let's go.
- Give
me a hand, Shep?
I gotta go--
- Did you eve tie him down?
- Yeah, I did.
- With what?
- That stupid duct
tape that doesn't work.
- Oh my God!
- Tell her not to
worry, I'm just gonna--
- Oh God.
- See, that's easy, no problem.
Shepard.
- Yeah?
- You think he'll be all right?
- No.
- Why?
- He fell off the
roof and we weren't even moving.
- He'll be fine.
He wasn't flat
before, now he's flat.
Come on, let's go.
- It doesn't
look very flat.
- She all right?
- We have a dead body
and we don't have any treasure.
We have nothing.
- Yeah, we have the exact
opposite of what we
went looking for.
- Guys, guys, listen up!
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Our inked up Nazi
friend upstairs
is alias Adolf Himmler.
Fuck me.
FBI's most wanted for the
murder of Leonard Hunter,
a famous treasure hunter
who uncovered a bounty
of half a billion dollars.
- You hear this?
- Shit!
- Shitting dollar signs!
- That's ridiculous.
Crazy.
- The wealthiest part of
the ship, the stern castle,
was filled with a king's
ransom beyond compare
consisting of gold
bar's two stories high
and 24 tons of silver bullion.
- Holy Davy Jones locker.
- From The Monkees?
- Part of the bounty stolen was
called The Esperanza
mother load,
consisted of pieces
of eight gold coins,
Colombian emeralds,
and other jewels
from the wreckage called
the Spanish galleon,
Nuestra Esperanza.
- Davy Jones locker!
- So we're still on, right?
- Well, it's up to you guys.
- Of course, I wanna go.
Are you crazy?
Did you hear all that?
I'm gonna be rich!
- This
is the shittiest
police station I've ever seen.
I think they're closed.
- What kinda police
station closes?
- The kind you find in
these crazy, sicko towns.
- Alright, I'll leave
the body with a note.
That's it.
I think that's the house.
- That's
creepy alright.
- Yeah, whoever's been
doing the remote viewing
on us I think is in that house.
- So call the cops!
- That's a great idea, Joey.
Why don't we just go the
police station we just left,
the one that closes up at night.
- You know what, dude, there's
already been one murder.
Do you wanna be next?
- You're such a pussy.
- Can you guys shut up?
You're not really
helping anything.
- I want you kiddies
to make nice.
I'm gonna go check
it out, I'll be back.
- Are you sure
that's such a good idea, Dad?
I'm having second thoughts.
- It'll be okay.
- I don't
think it's a good idea!
- If I'm not back, call the FBI.
- What's going on?
Alright, you guys.
Stay here, I'm
gonna go follow him.
I'll be back.
Dad?
What the hell?
How high does that go up?
Jumbo rat shit hole
in the ceiling.
- Did you find anything?
- Shit, dude, you scared
the shit outta me.
Have you seen my Dad?
- No, I haven't seen anything.
- Stay close.
Dad.
Dad!
- Dude, dude!
Watch where you're
going, you scared me.
- You scared me.
- Did you find anything yet?
- No.
Go that way.
Wait, wait out here.
I'm gonna check this
room, don't go anywhere.
Look, stairs.
You go, I'll be
right behind you.
- There's
nothing up here, guys.
- You again.
- Yeah, me again.
Damn, I just hit my head
on something really hard.
- You okay?
- No.
- You hit the ceiling.
- Witch.
Ow!
- Trippy.
Let's go.
- Heather, Heather.
Make a face.
- Really, right now?
Are you serious?
- It's so weird.
Oh shit.
- Your Dad's in here.
Should we follow her?
- Dad.
Are you okay?
- Sure, yeah.
- I was calling you.
You didn't hear me?
- No.
- I was yelling.
- No, I didn't hear anything.
- I'm sorry about that.
The gentleman that
lived here before
I moved in was a musician.
He had all the
walls soundproofed
and your father couldn't
hear anything as a result.
Can I offer any of
you anything to drink?
Some wine?
- Oh, is that red?
- It sure is.
Uh, I, nevermind.
- So what are you all doing here
anyway in the
middle of the night?
Are you lost?
- Well, you know, you can always
find your way with
remote viewing.
Can't you?
- I guess I can't
keep this masquerade
up any longer, can I?
Not with a master
sleuth such as yourself.
And you fry me with those eyes.
Those magnificent eyes.
- I wanna know why have
you been watching us.
- I have not, or at
least not intentionally.
You happen to get in the
way of my own visions!
- You murdered him, didn't you?
- Well, he's not
so much the type
to commit suicide,
that's for sure.
Which is too bad.
But, no, I didn't murder him.
- Well, let me say,
we dug up a body
and he's dead as a doornail.
- Well, yes, bravo.
That I know.
I left him there
lying on the floor
with a dagger sticking
out his chest!
Now.
Can I offer any of you anything?
Lolly pop?
Ah!
- I love lolly pops.
- Here you go, my dear.
- Thank you.
- Those are delicious.
And for you, dear, you'd
adore the green one.
I know.
- Why are you playing with me?
- Because you and
I are the same.
We both share a
magnificent talent!
Doesn't that make you happy?
Don't you enjoy when
you meet someone
who shares a gift
so rare and special?
It makes me giddy.
Come, come on.
I have something
to show you all.
It's impressive, right?
My pride and joy.
- Well, look at that.
- So that thoughtful, kind,
sweet, SS officer
provided us with a video
for your viewing pleasure.
- Joey.
- What?
What?
- Take a look.
- Come over here.
- I'll fucking kill you.
Ah, my leg!
My eye!
Holy fuck!
What did I do?
- So.
As you can see, I'm innocent.
- That was just
like the scene we filmed.
- You're telling me.
- I'm ready for that drink.
- Why didn't you
go to the police with this?
- Well, the police
are hard to find here.
Why have you come
all the way here
from LA to visit
sweet, innocent me?
Was it to watch home videos and
clear me of murder
charges, was it?
- I'm just gonna have a
word with my friends here
for a second in
private if that's okay.
- Of course, sweetie.
- Guys, come here.
I'm thinking maybe we
should take her with us.
- Are you crazy?
- You think we should share
the treasure with her?
- Are you crazy, we
don't owe here anything.
- Yeah, that's only if
she helped us find it.
- Besides, we don't even know
if she knows where it is.
- Right.
- Alright.
Uh, Miss.
- Please, call me Liliane.
I believe that we've
known each other
for long enough that you can
go on a first name basis.
- Well yes, Liliane.
We're on a very special, but
very, very dangerous journey.
We'd rather keep our
reasons to ourselves.
- Of course.
So I'm sorry about your trauma
that you've been through.
- No.
Please don't apologize.
It has been a pleasure
getting to know all of you.
If you follow me,
I'll show you out.
- Sure.
- Please, this way.
Just follow me along this
way, it will be best.
You know, it is I who should
really be apologizing to you.
- Oh?
- Yes, an eye for an eye.
Just as you got in
the way of my vision,
unintentionally I'm sure,
I blocked your vision.
Every key has a lock
and you know the
location of the lock,
but have no key.
And I have a key, but don't
know the location of the lock.
So, you see, Houston,
sweetie, I propose
that we combine our images
to present the clear
vision of what it
is that you seek!
- Interesting, to say the least.
- I told
you I was intrigued.
- Now, what is it
you want in return?
- Just your kindred company.
- So you wanna come
with us for a joyride?
- I guess you could
put it that way, yes.
- I guess it's to
the land of Oz.
Shall we?
- Let's.
If I don't I'll go insane
- Hey, it's like a Mexican
version of Cinco de Mayo!
Like a madman in the rain
- Look, there's
the buses you drew.
- Yeah, look at that.
- There was a bus depot,
I couldn't see that?
- Perhaps because
you're a jet-setter.
- Oh, hardly.
I guess this is what
you've been looking for.
- Good Jesus!
- God.
- Hey, Joey, man, you okay?
You don't look to good.
Joey, you all right?
Check him out,
are you okay, pal?
- What if it's just
filled with sand?
- If it's just sand,
why would they put a lock on it?
Think about it.
- How are we gonna open it?
- I'll get a crowbar.
We'll jimmy it open.
- All right.
Hurry up, 'cause the girls are
like really antsy for the money.
- Okay, ready?
- Go for it.
- Are you okay?
- I can hear the angels singing.
Do you hear them?
- I can hear something singing.
Cayman Islands, here I come!
- Dad, you know you're the
best Dad I've ever had?
- I'm the only Dad you ever had.
- How we going to, uh,
divvy this up right here?
- Well, you could
take the usual route.
One for you, one for
you, one for you,
one for you, and
so on and so forth.
That would be the easiest way.
Well, anyway, it's getting late
and I wouldn't want to
turn into a pumpkin.
So it has been an
absolute pleasure going
on this adventure
with all of you
and I wish you all
the best, au revoir!
- Is she kidding?
- Liliane!
- Yes, sweetie?
- You're kidding, right?
- About?
- Leaving without taking
your share of the treasure.
- I told you before, it's
not the material that I seek.
It's the spiritual.
- She's still
kidding, isn't she?
- Cheers!
- You can have some of mine!
- Yeah, you
can have some of his!
Dad, what do you
think her deal is?
- I don't know, that is
strange, but beautiful.
- Where to next?
Excuse me.
Know where I can find McGregor?
- Who's asking?
- We are.
Is this your Ruby Pearl, here?
It's lovely.
We're actually a
group of filmmakers
from Los Angeles and
we were wondering
if you were going somewhere.
I like your boat.
Is he around here?
- Hey, McGregor!
Movie people!
- Ahoy!
- Ahoy, yourself.
- Hi, my name is Houston.
- Yeah.
- This is my son, Shepard.
- Hello.
- My beautiful actress
here, Heather.
And Joey is my filmmaker.
- Well, McGregor is the name.
What can I do for you, blokes?
- Is this your boat?
- The Ruby Pearl, oh yeah.
She's all mine now, sadly,
but I'll proudly accept her.
Used to be called by me partner
Leonard, Leonard Hunter.
Ah, what a sailor he was.
- Leonard Hunter?
- The finest sailor to sail
the Seven Seas as ever lived.
That is until he met up with
the old skull and crossbones.
I'll tell you, took the hand of
some evil jolly roger for sure.
What can I do for
you land lovers?
- Can you tell us
about the treasure?
- Which one?
- There's more than one?
- Let me educate you,
my sweet little lass.
There's more gold and silver out
in that ocean there
then all the land
your pretty little high
heels can stand on.
For 25 years, I've
searched shipwrecks and
Spanish plate fleets that
have sailed from Spain back
to the New World that's
been lost at sea.
I've snarled with more
galleons protected
by their skeletons than
I care to remember.
But all the while pulling up
unimaginable amounts of bounty.
- Within the
Western mother load?
- What do you
know about that, boy?
- You know, pieces of
eight, gold doubloons,
Columbian emeralds, a few diamonds
the size of strawberries.
- There's an old
adage: red skies
at night, sailors delight.
- Delight.
- Red sky in the
morning, sailors take warning.
- Yeah, but it was
red skies all right.
But Old Leonard, yeah,
Leonard stayed put.
He didn't even twitch a muscle.
Must have felt in his
bones a storm were brewing.
Now stubbornly we
stayed our course.
That surely being
responsible for our survival.
And then the morning came.
Everything was quiet,
hurricane passed.
Old Leonard took to
the warm waters below.
That's when he first
picked up the sun rays.
Seeing something shiny.
Gold bars, gold bars under the
west stern, hundreds of 'em.
Piled as high as
buzzards on a shit wagon.
Well, me, I was detoured East
about 50 feet off the bow.
I was by a hungry shark.
And that's when I discovered
something hard and dark.
A treasure chest.
That belonging to he
Nuestra mother load.
I just had to tip me
hat off to that shark.
If it wasn't for her,
I'd have never found it.
God love her.
- Please go on,
this is fascinating.
- Oh, the next day Leonard
took the treasure to our shop.
Said he was meeting some wealthy
museum curator from overseas.
I don't know, the guy
was claiming he wanted
to showcase the treasure in
his museums across Europe.
That's when I found Leonard,
dead, cold-blooded murder.
Treasure chest gone, no sign of
the filthy bastard that did it.
- We found him.
Adolf Himmler,
dead as a doornail.
We found him buried.
- Who are you people?
- Well, it's a little too
hard to explain right now,
but, McGregor, I
think I got something
here that belongs to you.
- What's that?
Oh.
Well, stiffen me crotch, hah!
I'll be a wet sponge off of
the arse of a nor'wester.
The mother load!
Nice work, boys.
Very nice.
- Boy, I guess our
work is done here.
- McGregor, it was
nice to meet you.
You take care now.
- Hold on, mate.
Get back here.
Your work may be finished,
but our's just begun.
Winxy.
- Houston, darling, I
knew I could count on you.
You see, darling,
didn't I tell you
he has the most wonderful eyes?
- You would never have found
the Esperanza without him.
- Now be a good husband and
pour some hogshead for everyone.
It's over 300 years old.
- Your wife?
- Yes, my wife.
She's a great one, at that.
You know what, she
finds all the treasure.
But I gotta admit, I
was having a tough time
tracking our sweet
Esperanza this time.
- It's true.
- And for the gorgeous ladies.
For you, for you.
A toast.
To kindred spirits.
- Kindred spirits
- Now, everyone dig
into the treasure!
- Go on, go ahead.
She wants you all to dig in and
take what's rightfully yours.
- You're shitting us, right?
- No way.
- Please, my husband and
I have more than enough
jewels and doubloons
for ourselves.
We insist, take your share!
- Snookums, they're
still being stubborn!
- You scary little scallywags.
Would you be wanting
your treasure
or would you rather be keyholed?
- Yo ho ho, we'll have
them walk the plank!
- Aye, the better.
- Yes, go on.
- This?
- A little bit more,
you greedy cockroach.
- Joey.
- I don't need much, I just.
- Chip?
- Go ahead, dude.
- Might as well.
Mine's bigger than yours.
- How about
you, beautiful eyes?
- Oh, not me, I'm not
one to take advantage,
but thanks anyway.
- Shepard, would you
please do me a favor
and take an extra big
handful for your lovely Dad?
- Will you hold this?
Don't judge.
- Extra big.
There's still so much
treasure that's left.
Now we just have
to figure out what
charity we want to donate it to.
- Listen, I want you
guys to stay in touch
with us because kindred
spirits are hard to come by.
- Come here.
Oh!
So good to see you again.
Darling.
- McGregor.
- Yes.
- Take care of yourself, pal.
- Ah, you know, matey.
Listen, you come back quickly.
We'll do a little swashbuckling.
You come back.
- Of course, of course.
Hey, Houston.
I'll be keeping an eye on you.
- You know, I'm really
gonna miss you guys.
I had a lotta fun.
- Heather, what are
you talking about?
You know we're gonna see
each other tomorrow, right?
- Oh, yeah.
We gotta look through all the
footage and start editing.
I forgot.
- We'll see
you tomorrow, Heather.
- Alright, bye.
- Okay, bye.
- Don't
let any of your
six roommates see
those diamonds.
- Yeah, yeah right!
- Bye.
Poor girl was all emotional.
- You see that?
- Hey, Houston, you
can drop me off right here.
- What?
- Anywhere,
just drop me off.
- You serious?
- Yeah, this
spot, pull over.
- Okay.
- Houston, are
you gonna stop or not?
- We got a flat?
What's wrong?
- What are
you talking about?
- Where is he going?
- We're stopping here.
- What's he doing?
- Thanks for
everything, you guys.
I'll see you later, okay?
- Where are you going?
- Dude, dude, what
are you doing?
You don't live here.
- I'll make 'em an offer.
- What if they don't wanna sell?
- They must take diamonds.
- Good luck.
See you later.
- See you tomorrow.
- What a character.
Hey, where are we going?
- The weirdo widow.
- Hey, we never paid the bill.
What do you think the next
film's gonna be about?
- Is there life after death?
- Hm.
What do you think?
- I have no idea.
- Yet.
One more second,
one more minute
That's just how we
jumped right in it
One more moment,
one more minute
I just can't
somehow forget it
Pictures and poetry
framed in a story
Wish I could step
back, I'm so sorry
Wish I could thank
you, make it a party
But you're in the stars and
it's just getting started
It's just getting started
Oh, you're such a fool
One more second,
one more minute
That's just how we
jumped right in it
Now it's gone,
it's been so long
But you're with me
Always
You're with me always
You're with me
Always
You're with me always
One more second,
one more minute
- Shut up or
I'll slit your throat.
- Stop!
- Why don't you yell cut like
every other director
in the world?
- Because it's digital
and there's no film to cut.
- Get that
light outta my eyes.
- And why aren't you
wearing the blue sweatshirt
like you're supposed to?
- Why didn't you
tell me that earlier?
- Because
we don't have
a wardrobe girl, that's why.
- We don't have hair,
or makeup, or wardrobe.
- Hey,
you wanna grab this?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The whole Freudian
psychological thing,
why the rapist is even
attracted to his prey
wearing these blue
sweatshirts, is because of, uh.
Shepard, explain
it to her, please.
- Well, he's attracted
to blue because--
- Because his father
wanted to punish him
by drowning him in
the swimming pool?
- Very good Heather.
If you knew that, why didn't
you wear the blue sweatshirt?
- That is
a good question.
- Oh, are we still filming?
- Yeah, well this is gonna
be good for the documentary
behind the scenes,
making of, you know.
Always film, always film.
That was the last
shot of the evening
and I think it was good enough.
I just have to figure out
another psychological thing
for the, another
viewpoint, another.
Got it.
I got it, red ticks him
off because it reminds him
when he was just like a
little two-year-old kid
and his insane parents
would abuse the heck out
of him by force
feeding him bottles--
- Bottles of ketchup, ketchup so
he would vomit red everywhere!
- I like that, that's it, good.
Okay.
- Genius, Joey.
- So, listen, I think
we did good work.
Let's like call it a night.
That's a wrap!
Let's just get the lights
packed up, the bags.
Come on, let's get outta here.
- Why don't, why
don't you just turn
this into a biography about me?
- Should we
ditch the other guys?
- My shins hurt.
My shoulder hurts.
Did you have to bang me so hard?
- I'm sorry, I just
wanted it to be realistic.
- Yeah?
Realistic enough for you now?
- All
right, come on down.
Straight ahead, get a nice shot.
Closer, walk to, a bit forward.
Get the nice foreground
leaves here, that's good.
Dutch it a little bit, Dutch it.
Get it scary, Dutch it.
- Da-na.
- More, more.
- Da-na.
- I thought
you wanted to stay away
from the typical horror music?
Besides, we can't afford
the rights to that anyway.
- Where's Joey?
Come on, dude.
- Come on, sexy.
- Hi, Joey!
- How do you get it to do that?
- It actually balances
on a few grains of salt.
- Do you guys ever stop filming?
Addicts!
- Filmmaking is kind of
like an arranged marriage.
You never really know
what you're gonna get.
- Yeah, especially if
you were to marry you.
- You wish.
- Ooh, fighting words.
- Am I being a bitch?
- Yeah, but we're used to
it so we still love you.
- Yeah,
well, men are bastards.
- Not us.
- Maybe it's just
that I'm on my moon.
- Tell us about it!
- No!
- Sexual tension.
- Yeah.
Wow.
1896, is that the
oldest one you have?
- Uh, I think I
might have older.
Heather.
- What?
- Ever seen one of these babies?
- No.
- This is a Morgan
Silver Dollar.
Now, George Morgan was
an assistant engraver
in the Philadelphia
Mint and he wanted
to represent the
Liberty differently,
rather than the usual
Greek-style figures, right?
So he decided to use
an American model.
Enter Anna Willis Williams
from Philadelphia.
Now, after five
sittings he decides
that she had the most perfect.
What the heck?
Heather, let me see your
profile for a minute.
Come on in here.
Lean in, would you,
something curious.
Wait a second, look at that.
As I thought, it's a
perfect profile, Heather.
Just like the silver dollar.
- I don't know, I
think it looks more like Joey.
You guys are precious.
- Now,
Heather, I would like
you to hold on to
this as symbol,
as metaphor that
you're so perfect.
- Normally,
we'd use a treasure chest
filled with those.
- A hundred years ago,
I was the perfect woman.
- Dude, Shep, you're dad is
a killer with the ladies.
- If only the women knew that.
- Is everyone eating
here paying today?
- Beautiful.
- Alright.
Okay, thank you for everything.
Only thing, the
tip is on you guys.
Thank you, guys.
You have another nice day, okay?
- How we doing this?
- The old
credit card routine.
- But you're broke, Houston.
- Yeah, but I got big visions.
From the dark
and magic spaces
Drifting on and navigating
through the corridors
Of sunlight in the
country of your own mind
Won't you tell
me that you need
- Look at this
sweet, panoramic shot.
- What are you doing, dude?
- Dude,
get out of the way.
- I don't wanna kiss you, dude.
- Dude, what are you?
- Let's go, boys.
Crazy class starts
in five minutes.
- Yeah, what are
you teaching today?
- You see what I have to
put up with with these two?
- Look out!
- So, will this help
me find treasure?
- Well, to be honest with you,
it depends on your ability.
You might be able to,
perhaps, perhaps not.
- Dad, this things
wobbling like a drunken sailor.
I'm gonna ditch it.
- Well, try the counterbalance.
- I did.
- Alright, do you.
The alleged psychic ability
to perceive an object
beyond the realm of
ordinary senses or science.
This is called remote viewing.
Training to use our
minds like radios.
Tuning into the unique
electromagnetic signals
that emanate from every
object or individual.
- As long as it helps
us find treasure, eh?
- Down with that.
- Woo!
- Out of curiosity, has
anyone found any treasure?
- Anybody
wanna answer that?
Go ahead.
Elizabeth, tell
'em all about it.
- My diamond ring, I lost it,
I couldn't find it for weeks,
so I did the remote
viewing and did a drawing
of what I thought looked
like a vacuum cleaner,
but I didn't think it'd
be in the vacuum cleaner
since the housekeeper changes
the bag every week, right?
But I kept on drawing
that same image.
So, I know it was in vain,
but I had Seymour, my husband,
take apart the vacuum cleaner
and, believe it or not,
he found the ring stuck
in the inside mechanism
before it even reached the bag.
- Wow.
- Whoa.
- That would explain why it
had such a whistling sound.
- Whoa, what do
you make of that, okay.
- Brilliant.
- Cool, huh?
- Anyone wanna do an experiment?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
I want you all to
relax, close your eyes.
Relax your mind, breathe.
Let images come through
your consciousness.
See what kind of textures
you see or colors.
And when you're relaxed,
in a minute or two,
you're gonna open up your
eyes, start drawing lines,
arms, whatever seems to
illustrate your vision.
It might be the object
in its totality.
Find a space that
has no significance.
Okay, so take a moment
and when you're ready,
we're gonna do this.
And when you come
outta your trance,
I want you to start drawing.
Okay, boys and girls,
unbeknownst to anyone,
including myself,
except for Sang
manning the projector
in the back.
And say hello,
Sang, to the group.
Say, hello.
- Hello, everyone.
- He's the only
one that knows what
the projected image is gonna be.
So I'd like to see what you guys
have drawn from
your consciousness.
Let's see what you got.
Ah, funny face, hamburger.
Is that communism there?
Mm, she's gotten
something on her mind.
Take a look at this, Shepard.
Very nice.
And, Sang, hit it!
What do we got?
Whoa, look at that, not quite.
What, where you going?
Where you going?
- Fucking bullshit.
- You're a joke.
- What're
you girls saying?
- She think you're a fake
and she want her money back.
- No, hey.
- I want my money back!
- We're just
beginning, we have--
- No!
- But we are only beginning.
- I want my money back!
- But wait, we still
have to practice.
- No!
- I would like to have
my money back, too.
I'm gonna get my baby daddy.
Gonna beat you down!
- No, no, no, no, no.
You don't wanna
get him over here.
- Professor Houston?
- Yes.
- More like Professor Useless.
- I'm sorry.
- I believed in you.
- I did, too!
You don't believe
in me any more?
What's going on here?
- Don't quit your
day job, Professor.
- But this is my day job.
What is he talking about?
- You're one step away, buddy.
I know people.
- But I didn't finish the class.
- Yes, yes!
I have my proof, I'm
going to the news!
You're so going out!
I got my proof!
- Oh, boy.
No, not Elizabeth, not you.
Elizabeth.
- I'm sorry, it's not working.
- What about the ring?
What are you talking about?
- I don't trust anymore.
I think he's seeing
that Amazon bitch
at work behind my back.
I thought he took the
ring to give to her,
so I gave him an ultimatum and
told him if he didn't give me
back the ring, I was
gonna give him the worst
divorce of his life
and sue his ass!
- Well, how many
times was he divorced?
- None.
- Wow.
- I bet you he made
believe he found
the ring in the vacuum cleaner.
Sorry, Houston.
- Oh, I'm sorry myself.
- There goes the redhead.
- Liz, that the hell is this
legal mumbo jumbo crapola?
What, you think you can
just walk out on me?
Me, huh?
What, you got some
big hotshot lawyer?
You're gonna take
half of what is mine!
My freaking money, mine!
I slave my balls off
down on them docks!
No fricking way.
I'm not taking anymore of your
Liz, biz, bull crap anymore!
Let's see this goddamn ring.
This thing is mine, this ring.
This is not gonna be paraded
around on your unready fingers.
I got plenty of other
younger, prettier little
fingers out there just waitin'!
- You know what?
You just take that ring and
wrap it around your dick!
'Cause it would fit loosely!
- Oh yeah?
- Oh yeah!
- Yeah?
- Oh yeah.
- You're pathetic!
You freaking call off
your lawyers or I will
burn down the house
with you in it!
Oh, that's funny?
You find that funny?
Then, they're gonna
find your charcoal body
somewhere down in
the goddamn ditch!
What the hell, are
you filming this?
- Alright, no problem.
I'm all right.
I just may be a little
puffy under the left eye.
Or was it the right eye?
I don't know but I'm a little
concerned about the lens.
Make sure the camera's
okay, would you?
- Yeah, the camera's okay.
- I'm worried about Elizabeth.
- Oh, don't worry
about Elizabeth.
They have this
sick codependency.
They fight like
this all the time.
They go home and they
make crazy sex together.
Hanging from the
chandelier, she told me so.
- Ooh, that's kinda special.
- No, but I'm really glad
that you guys were filming
that even though
it was dangerous.
- Remote viewing is bullshit.
- What are
you talking about?
- A breast?
A penis?
Do yourself a
favor and everybody
else here and just drop it!
- I guess she's angry.
- What did you draw anyway?
Houston, what is this?
- I just jotted down what I saw.
- It's the same.
- Dad, it's exactly the same.
You didn't know the target.
- No.
- Sang.
You picked randomly, right?
- Yes.
Picked out the trace
from hundreds of slides.
Here, check it out.
- It could
have been any of those.
- Yeah, how could
you have known?
- Well, you know,
that's the strange,
weird thing about
remote viewing.
- Why'd you crumple it?
- Angry.
Wondering why nobody
else ever gets it right.
- You've done this before?
- Yup.
- This accurate?
- Yeah, that's why I figured
I'd give a class on it.
- I thought you were
just making this up
to rip people off and
make a living off of it.
- Then I figured it was a
very interesting premise
that we could do a good
docudrama on, as well.
- Hm.
Supposedly, if you let
your conscious mind relax
using systematic protocols, you
can see your target anywhere
in the universe no matter where,
no matter the distance,
no matter the time.
- Can you see the future?
- There were a couple
times where I wasn't sure.
- Look, there's all
sorts of stories here
of people finding lost
items using remote viewing.
During the Cold War, the
CIA associated with SRI
they find a secret
remote viewing research
called Stargate Project
where psychics were able
to view and describe a new
class of Soviet submarine.
- The Government did this?
It must be real.
- Unless it's
coincidence looking real.
I never could tell if it's my
mind playing tricks or not.
I used to be getting these
tantalizing images, too.
- What kind
of tantalizing images?
- Treasure.
- Okay, so
you actually want the
voice recorder in
a shot like this?
- I think that we
need more incense.
- No, that's okay, Joey.
- No?
- What
do you got so far?
- Nope.
Still nothing.
I gotta turn some lights
on so I can see better.
- I just lit the candles.
- I know, but you're not
actually lighting the room.
- Helping with the mood.
- Yup.
- I need some quiet.
- It's alright, Dad.
Are you getting anything yet?
- No.
- This stuff smells terrible.
- We have Japanese,
Native American,
and we've got Tibetan.
Do you like spicy?
- No, I don't need
any of this stuff.
I just need to quiet my mind.
- Do you
want us to leave then?
- No, I want you to
film this as it happens.
- If it happens.
- Thanks.
- Come on, Heather,
give my Dad a shot.
Take a look at the
images here, I mean.
Way too many reoccurring
themes of treasure
and the same chest
up in the classroom.
I mean, the jewels, this all
just, it can't be coincidence.
And kinda creeps
me a little a bit.
We just need the location
then we'll go find it.
- Maybe it's in a museum.
- Yeah, maybe it's in
Pirates of the Caribbean.
- Maybe, come on, guys.
Maybe it's actually
real and it's just
out there waiting for
us to come and get it.
It's like I can hear
Billy Crystal saying,
"Come and get me, come and
get me, come and get me!"
- Yeah, maybe we
should call it a night
because, I'm sorry, I
just can't get anything.
- Sorry kids.
- I think you were close.
- I'm gonna go get 40 winks.
- Well, you heard him, boys.
Nighty night.
- Hey, Shepard.
Shepard?
- Hm?
- I've got a blueprint
for the site.
- What?
- Take a look at
this, come here.
I gotta take the 405 South.
Whereto, I don't know?
- It's this chart.
- Yup, I also drew
this section of a map.
Take a look at this.
X marks the spot under
the haunted tree.
What that exactly means,
I don't know, but.
- Well, it can mean
anything, it can be anywhere.
There's no street names.
- There's something else,
take a look at this.
- Are you kidding me?
Is that a dead body?
- Shh, you're gonna wake him up.
- What dead body?
- What dead body?
- You guys scared
the shit out of me.
- If that is a dead body,
then the only question is
did it die from natural causes?
- Or was it murdered?
- I don't wanna go with
you guys, that's it.
- You're just gonna give
up on the $100 million?
- How do you know
it's $100 million?
- Well, I'm just figuring.
One diamond the size
of a strawberry,
that's an easy million.
The chest is filled
with more of emeralds
and rubies and
doubloons, easily.
- Could be way more than that.
- Could be costume jewelry.
- Hey, believe whatever you
want, but you gotta see this.
Real fortune, bonified,
blood red colored gemstone,
diamond, gold
symbol Au number 79.
I looked all this up.
It's mineral composition's
and it's atomic numbers
and it's all
completely accurate.
- Really?
- Dad, there's no way
you could've known that.
- Okay, what are we waiting for?
Let's go!
- I don't wanna go!
- Wha?
Let's go.
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
- Okay, fine, go.
Just bring me back
a pearl necklace.
- Alright, let's go.
- Let's go search.
- You're gonna go on a witch
hunt at 12:30 at night?
- We have to get out of here!
We don't want anyone
else digging it up first.
- A dead body?
You're gonna dig up a
dead body right now?
This is ridiculous.
Okay, guys, this is me
recording all by myself.
You wanted to record everything
so I'm recording this evening.
By myself.
- Dude, what's that?
- It's a moose call.
- What was that?
- Yo ho, yo ho.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Trying to get us sued?
- Watch the lyrics.
- Come on, guys.
We've got treasure to find.
- that's more like it.
- Hey, look who we got here.
- Oh, I thought
you weren't coming?
- $100 million,
you bet I'm coming!
- Hey, hey, Heather.
- Yes.
- So, you're coming now?
- Yes.
- That's cool.
We're still splitting
it three ways though.
- Ah, it depends who finds it.
- Get in there.
- Oh,
we're finding it.
- You.
- Dude, I
just sent a message.
- Did you ever hear that
story about the woman
who went insane
and beat the shit
out of her man with a shovel?
- Yeah, who do
you think that was?
- Just saying, a woman
with a shovel's dangerous.
- Shep, we're
gonna take a right.
- Alright, we need
a shovel, guys.
- Do you know of any
hardware stores that are open?
- Not this late at night.
- Well, one of us must know
somebody who owns a shovel.
Everybody owns a shovel.
- Yeah, except for us.
- Oh, Aunt Lulu.
- Is that your
sister that's a pirate?
- That's her.
- I love pirates!
- Who goes there?
I will shot the pants off
your butt with my bunderbun!
- Sis, it's your bro.
- Who?
- It's your brother,
I need a shovel.
- Hey, she does
look like a pirate.
- Shit, Aunt Lulu's
blind and deaf.
- This mansion is awful private.
Now why don't you come out here
and I will shoot you straight.
- Oh shit, he's
gonna get us killed!
- Come into the light!
- Lulu.
- Dad, stay out of the light.
- It's your brother, Houston.
- What's that now?
- It's your
brother, Houston.
- Oh, Houston, why
didn't you say so?
Come on in.
- So what did you
think you were gonna
do with my old BB gun anyway?
- Oh, I don't know.
I thought BB King was
a very good performer.
- Great start to my evening.
We almost got shot by somebody's
sister trying to find a shovel.
- Her bark is much
worse than her bite.
She's never killed anybody
in her entire life.
I don't think.
Shepard, direct me, which way?
- Can't you stop those hiccups?
- Boo!
- That's really--
- Boo!
Try it.
- Alright, 405 South.
- Okay, good.
What I wanna do is pull
over somewhere down up there
and I want you to get out,
get like a nice establishing
pull by, drive-by, and use like
a low wide Dutch scary angle.
- How wide do you
wanna go, 16 or 18 millimeter?
- 18 millimeter will
have less distortion.
- Good idea, let's
go with the 18.
- Okay.
- This looks weird, how's this?
- Watch
out for the bogeyman.
- He's
gonna like this shot.
- What's that?
Something out there.
Something definitely out there.
Shit!
- Oh my God, it's a wolf!
- Shep, get in!
- Hurry!
- I wanna go home.
- She's right, we gotta abort.
- It's okay, I'm okay,
everyone's alright.
We're gonna go home now.
Hey, dude?
You wanna do
something about her?
- Would you stop
making so much noise!
Can't you see we've all had a
stressful day, just not you!
- We're going home.
- I think this is like
Dark Night of the Soul.
- What is she talking about?
- Look at this, look!
Wait, Houston, turn around!
- What?
- Look at this!
Look at this, the wolf was
part of the remote viewing.
You saw it, you saw the future!
- I don't know.
- This is so weird.
This is real!
We have to go back, we have
to go after the treasure.
This is real.
This is real now.
- So two close encounters with
death, you wanna keep going?
- But technically
it was only one.
And Aunty Lulu's bark is
much worse than her bite.
If we follow the
papers in detail
we can figure out what's
gonna happen next.
- Coffee anyone?
This place is weird.
- What kind of
restaurant are we at
if they don't even
turn up the lights?
Where is our food?
- You got the 405 South to what?
- He's working on
it, be patient.
- Well, it's a long freeway.
Just imagine it's a treasure map
that's leading us
to $100 million.
- Shh, wait!
Heck, what's he doing?
I'm so hungry!
- I'm gonna go look for him.
- I don't think
we're ever gonna eat.
- It's freezing in here.
- Hello?
Man, good for nothin' waiter.
Dirty robes, supposed
to be on vacation.
I'm up here looking
for this guy.
Hey, I know you guys.
I can see you, but
you can't see me.
Dude, put me on speaker.
I'm in his office right now.
I can see you guys on camera.
Hi, yeah, okay, I see you.
Okay, you can stop waving now.
Oh, man.
Dude, he thinks he's on
Dancing With The Stars!
Oh my god, I think this
guy's a serial killer!
Tell my Mom I love her.
- Sorry, folks, it took so long.
I'm really shy on help tonight.
- This is a steak, I ordered
a tuna fish sandwich.
- I ordered pancakes.
- I don't eat beef.
- Sorry, folks, it took so long.
We're really shy
on help tonight.
What about you?
- A root beer float?
- You didn't order
burger and fries?
- No.
- I could take it all
back, it's no problem.
- That's okay.
- No, don't worry about it.
I wanna get back on
the road, I'll eat it.
- I'll just take my fries, but
can you turn up the lights?
- And the heat.
- The lights.
- Yeah, the lights.
He is so weird.
Can we just get back
to the drawings?
- Yeah, let's go over
what we got so far.
Can I see those, Dad?
Well, a tattooed cop.
- I don't like cops!
- Uh, a key, it's
like an unusual key,
like a skeleton key
or something and it
says lost key with
a question mark.
A bus depot.
Mexican stores?
- Mexico?
No, you guys, the cartel's
gonna chop our heads off.
We can't go to Mexico.
- Wait, there's a girl.
She's running and
somebody's chasing her.
- Wait, that was the
scene we just filmed.
- Well, you see that's
the thing, guys.
Sometimes it's
imagination, memory,
subconscious, it's really
hard to tell the difference.
Maybe it's even all
coincidence, I don't know.
But there is a thing
called confirmation bias,
selective thinking.
- What's that?
- Where one tends to notice
and look for what one believes
and totally ignore what
one does not believe.
- Francis Bacon.
- Mm, bacon.
- No, Francis Bacon,
he's a philosopher.
He said that it's peculiar
and perpetual error.
Human imagination will always
be more moved and excited
by affirmations than by
negatives, it's true.
- Very good, Joey.
Proud of you.
- Thanks.
- When did you
start reading, Joey?
- It didn't happen until
like very recently.
Somebody gave me a
children's book called--
- Okay, you saw the treasure.
You saw the wolf, you didn't
just imagine those things.
Let's keep going.
- The dead body.
- Okay, yuck!
Maybe you did just
imagine that part.
- Guys, I think I
got the location.
I got the location.
- Let me see.
It's a pyramid in Egypt?
- I thought we were
going to Mexico.
Is that why we're
taking the 405 South?
To go the airport,
to go to Egypt?
Are you out of your mind?
Are you insane?
- I have a hunch, I think
it might be something else.
- What?
- 42.3 billion candles?
That's a lotta candles to be
inside a pyramid,
don't you think?
- What you thinkin'?
- Yeah?
- Guys, they're not
inside the pyramid.
They're on top of it.
- That makes
absolutely no sense.
- The tip of this pyramid
has the brightest beam
in the entire world at
42.3 billion candle power.
Do you follow?
- Not at all.
- The Luxor Hotel in Vegas!
- Shit, you're right.
Shep, you're a genius!
We're going to Vegas baby, woo!
- Ya-hoo!
- Would be nice
to have enough money
to do the right thing
once in a while.
- So what's the
scariest thing you
guys have ever encountered?
- The movie Jaws.
When the group had retired to
the boat's cabin, drinking,
getting drunk and showing
each other's scars.
Ehen he tells his
experiences as a survivor
of the sinking of the
SS, the Annapolis.
Witnessing the
entire crew murdered,
being attacked by
1000 hungry sharks.
100 screaming men
being eaten alive.
Blood bubbling up.
- Good movie.
- I think it was the Betty and
Barney Hill abduction of 1961.
Aliens with the
big eyes took them
into their UFO and did
sexual experiments on 'em.
Also there was that
mother that cut
off her son's head and sewed
it to her own shoulder.
That was pretty intense.
- Ghosts.
When you're sleeping
and you wake
'cause you feel a presence.
And you are so scared
you just wanna jump
outta bed and run out of the
room but you can't even move.
It's like that presence
is paralyzing you,
you're just stuck there.
- What are
you most scared of?
- Complete darkness.
- That's it?
- Yeah.
- So you couldn't be Helen
Keller, that's for sure.
- Whoa.
- Jeez.
- We got a flat,
I gotta pull over.
Oh my God, look at this thing.
Must weigh 500 pounds!
Oh.
- You guys even
know how to fix it?
- We're men!
Let's go, Joey.
- Damn, we're losing power.
- What are
you guys waiting for?
The jacks all set up?
- Here we go again,
me and my only friend.
Over in Killarney
many years ago.
- Oh, Shep, you actually do
know how to fix this thing?
- Yeah, don't you?
- Yeah.
And I'd give the world
to hear and then she left
outside the cabin door.
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys?
Guys, where are you?
Guys?
Where are you?
Guys?
- What's up?
- Holy shit!
Where have you been?
- We had to pee.
- All of you guys
at the same time?
- I guess it's
like an animal thing.
- Yeah, animal thing my ass!
I felt like I was going
to die inside the car!
I was hearing noises and stuff.
- Stop giving her a hard
time, she got spooked.
Come on.
Everything's fine,
come on, let's go.
- Go back into the woods
by yourself, Joey, now!
- Come on, guys, you
wanna go for the treasure?
Big rubies, diamonds,
yachts, airplanes?
Come on.
- Hey, do you remember
earlier when you asked me
like what the problem
with getting married was?
- Point taken.
You think there really
is a treasure, Dad?
- Yeah.
- And we're gonna find it?
- Yeah.
- What are you
gonna do with all that money?
- Buy things, give
gifts, make movies.
What about you?
- All
those same things.
- Reminds me of when you
were a little boy, your Mom
would ask you what do you
wanna be when you get older,
and you would say I just
wanna be just like Daddy.
- Yeah, except
now I know better.
- Yeah.
- Eh, well,
it's still true.
- Do you miss your Mom?
Put that over there.
You miss her?
- If we really do
get that money,
I'm gonna buy her a place
to live right near us.
I could see her whenever I want.
That's just the way
things should be.
- Yeah, that's my boy.
I'll tell you what.
Let's go find that treasure.
- It's a plan.
You guys need toilet paper?
Everyone can join the fun
if you make it in time.
- If we find
that treasure chest,
I'm gonna live in that house.
- Not over there.
- Joey can live there.
I wanna move
I wanna move
- There she is, that
magnificent beacon,
beckoning us to the treasure.
- How far is it?
- Maybe 15 to 20.
- You
think it's in there?
- Oh, there's treasure in
there alright, but not ours.
No, that beam is just pointing
us in the right direction.
While you guys were sleeping,
I did some more remote viewing.
- How did you do it at
the same time as driving?
- I etched it in with my finger
into the condensation
at my side window here.
- There's
nothing over there.
- It must
have evaporated.
- Hey, Houston, pull over.
I have an idea.
- Do that again?
Smart.
That is smart.
- It doesn't make any sense.
- It looks like hieroglyphics.
- It's not too far off
from hieroglyphics.
I think it's called a rebus.
- What the hell is a rebus?
- Oh, rebus is like a
coded message that uses the
images and letters and
numbers instead of words.
- Rebus, I remember that!
Wait, here, look!
- What is she up to?
- I can see you
well, it's a rebus.
- I can see you well.
You get it, Joey?
- What?
I don't get it.
- I remember seeing this
rebus decoder online.
Alright.
So if this is right
it reads, garage sale,
buy map at Stoll and Maple?
Maybe street names, maybe?
- You guys are
the greatest team.
- That's pretty awesome.
- I think you guys are geniuses.
You're the best team
I've ever had, come on.
Back in the car.
- Dude, wherever your
dad is getting these.
Or whoever he's getting these--
- His ideas from.
- They really seem to
enjoy playing a puzzle.
- I don't know about
you guys, but I'm starving.
- Me, too.
- Don't even
say that, you guys.
We have no money.
- Nickel.
- Where
are we, Bratislava?
- Heather, dear, can
you do me a favor?
Check my remote viewing pages.
See if there's one that has
a slot machine then nickel.
- There's one that has
a slot machine, nickel,
thermometer, diner,
and the name Jackson.
- And there's a thermometer!
- Wow, this is
getting really real.
- The largest
thermometer in the world.
And there's a diner under it.
I'm sure it's got slot machines.
- Look at that, guys.
- Ah, is that just a 20?
- Just a 20?
That's it, that's
a 40,000% return
off the nickel he invested!
I'd like to see Wall
Street compare to that.
- Well, actually, that's
Jackson on the front of it.
So that's where the
name Jackson comes in.
- Hey, look guys, it's not
exactly the treasure chest,
but remote viewing is
proving itself to be working.
I mean, it led us
to the thermometer.
It was right about the nickel.
$20 is not a lot, but it's
enough to get us some food,
a little energy in the stomachs,
and we follow the clues!
Keep going, find the treasure.
- That's true, I agree.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- I am sure, Houston,
let me tell you why.
If you indulge me for a second,
allow me to pontificate.
- Yes, please.
- In this life, when you
have a hunch about something,
a feeling, if you will,
what are you gonna
do but go for it?
"Cause tomorrow may never come.
You know, we're just
here for today, possibly,
and you may never have
this chance again.
So that's why, that's
why we're doing it.
- I like it.
- Also I have no ride, so.
- Alright, let's go
eat something, come on.
- Well put, Joey.
- Yup!
- Come on, let's go get--
- I'm so excited I
don't think I can pee!
Oh, God, I made it.
- We need to get
off the main drag.
I want you to take
a right on Summit.
It's about two blocks up.
- Roger, got that!
- Who's Roger?
- I don't know, but
she still dancing back there?
Got this feeling when I
wake up in the afternoon
That I would rather fade
away than take it without you
Good day convince me the
night within me will pass
Good day convince me the
light within me will pass
Got this feeling that I wake
up in the middle of the day
The sunlight isn't
bright enough
To light the
beating of the brain
Good day convince me the
night within me will pass
Good day convince me the
light within me will pass
Got this feeling
that I wake up
- Now that house I know
we definitely passed already.
- Make a right here.
- I don't
know, it looks like we're
going in circles.
- We are
going in circles.
- I know!
- It's the fourth
right you've made.
- We've seen
that red house before.
About six times now.
- Looks like it.
- GPS is giving
me wrong directions.
I don't get it.
- Figures.
- Is there somebody
we could ask?
- Um, I
don't see anybody.
Hey look, look, a
cop, Joey's favorite.
Hey, Joey, you ask him.
- I'll go ask him.
- Officer?
Officer?
- What is he doing?
- Hey, that's not a cop!
- Why is his face--
- Shh!
- What about his face?
- His face is blue.
- Officer,
I'm kinda lost.
- Kinda?
- Well, we're looking
for Stoll and Maple
and our GPS kinda is making us
go around the Mulberry bush.
- Ring around the rosie,
pocket full of posie.
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Did you know the
first rhyme invented
in Germany in 1796 was,
ringel, ringel, reihen.
Wir sind der Kinder dreien!
But you don't wanna hear
about my nursery rhyme
so early in the morning, do you?
So I will give you good news.
You have arrived at
your destination.
You are here.
- What?
- Stoll and Maple, you're
streets are right here.
- But I don't see the signs.
- Are they filming me?
- No, well, yeah.
Guys, don't you
know it's impolite
to film without
asking permission?
- Oh, no, no, no,
it's quite alright.
It's quite alright.
Look at this profile, hm.
- Very chiseled.
- And the other side.
Do you know I once won
a kindergarten contest
for my Aryan looks?
- Very chiseled.
- Oh yeah, looks great.
- Um, beautiful.
- Real
nice, real nice.
- Did you see?
He changed the
signs to Mein Kampf.
- Shut up, just shut up.
- They used to be
Stoll and Maple.
I fooled you, see, I fooled you.
Hold.
See, it fooled
you, it fooled you.
See, see, look, it used
to be Stoll and Maple.
It could have fooled anyone.
But it's all well and
good now, isn't it, huh?
Give me that.
Danke schoen.
If you will be
needing anything else.
I am here to protect
and to serve.
- We're good, we're good, right?
Everything's good, guys.
- I never
had so much fun.
- You are seeking
the treasure, hm?
Viva Las Vegas!
X marks the spot!
- Bye bye.
- Thank you.
- Those signs say Mein Kampf.
Do you not know what that means?
- Hitler's manifesto
against the Jews.
I thought that guy was
gonna freaking kill us!
- My heart's never
pounded so hard.
- I almost died laughing.
- You gotta look on
the bright side though.
We did find the tattooed cop.
- So
which house is it?
- You're kidding right?
- Come on, Joey.
We've already come
this far, right?
- Did you not see that guy?
- Listen, people are
starting to wake up.
And I feel like we're
getting close again.
I hear Billy Crystal
and he's saying,
come and get me,
come and get me,
come and get me,
come and get me.
- Alright, alright, alright.
It could be hours
before somebody has a
garage sale around
here, too, though.
- Maybe, in the
meantime I can catch
like 40 and a half winks.
Is anybody else tired?
- After that Nazi cop?
I feel like I'm
never gonna sleep.
- Seriously, how
do you even think
about closing your
eyes right now?
- Joey, he was
driving all night.
Dad, you must be exhausted.
You should sleep and
we'll just keep watch.
- You sure you're
gonna keep watch?
- Of course,
there's three of us.
- Yeah, we got it.
- All right.
- Right, Heather?
- Yeah.
- Hello?
- Yeah.
- Keep watch.
Shep?
- Hm.
- You were supposed to
keep watch, what happened?
- Joey, dude.
- Ah!
- Dude, wake up.
You wee supposed to keep
watch while I napped.
- Heather, Heather!
- What?
- You were supposed
to keep watch while I napped.
- Oh, my eyes were so heavy.
Garage sale!
- What?
- Hey!
Holy shit!
If I don't I'll go insane
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You wouldn't happen to
have any maps for sale.
- Maps, no sorry.
- Did you sell the map?
- I didn't sell any maps.
- No map whatsoever?
- Jewelry, clothes,
TV, lamps, but no maps.
- Well, thanks, anyway.
- Do you know what?
You look like you need
some love in your life.
How about this loveseat?
Nice wicker, I'll sell
it to you real cheap.
- I might like love in
my life, that's true,
but I don't think the
chairs gonna do it.
Thanks anyway.
Come on, guys.
- Oh my God, the map,
the map, look, look!
- What?
- The map!
Hi.
- Hi.
- Is this your map?
- This is my map.
- Can we have it?
- 25 cents.
- 25 cents.
- 25 cents.
There you go.
- 25 cents for her,
a dollar for you.
- 25 cents for me.
- A dollar, oh, well, thank you.
- Is that
really the map?
- Yeah.
- That guy was a dick.
- Everybody in this
part of town is weird.
- So how do I
know where the spot is?
- That's a good question.
- Dad, hold the camera.
Hold the camera.
Heather, give me
that remote viewing
my Dad did earlier of the map.
Thank you.
Okay, alright now put
the map behind it.
This actually looks
like it's working.
- Oh my god, I'm
getting goosebumps!
Look!
It lined up, Whisperer's Pass!
- Look at this!
- Oh my God!
- Look, look, I found
it, I found it, me.
- I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm
rich, Shep you're a genius!
Oh my God, it's amazing.
- This is cool,
the kid's a genius.
- Where to then?
- Some hick town a
few hundred miles east of here.
- Let's follow through with
this and see where it takes us.
- Woo, woo!
My senses tell me run
Twisting me inside
Paralyzing thoughts
go off in my mind
So I curl on my toes
- Look how narrow this is.
I think this is it,
let's pull over here.
I think this is
Whisperer's Pass.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What are you guys waiting for?
You want the treasure
to dig itself
up and hop in the car with us?
Are we committed or what?
- We're not, not committed.
All right.
- Get out, come on.
Get outta the car.
- Wait, shh, do you hear that?
- It sound
like whispering.
- That's why they call
it Whisperer's Pass.
- You're creepy.
You're creepy, creepy!
- It's just Halloween
decorations.
- If this
isn't the haunted tree
then I don't know what is.
This has gotta be it.
- So this is it, guys.
What I wanna do is set up the
perimeter of the lighting.
Lights up here, lights
here, so we can see
what we're doing
and start digging.
Come on.
- Come on,
let's start digging!
- I'm not afraid of,
I want to be brave.
Is there really something
buried in there?
- I'm gonna pull it out.
- No, no, no, don't, don't!
- I'm doing it.
- Oh God.
- It already has blood on it.
- Somebody
buried a stake.
- Joey, you wanna
hold this for me?
Somebody wanna hold this?
I've gotta dig.
Oh, man, I was afraid of this.
Oh my God!
- Is that real?
- Maybe it is just a rubber
hand from the movies.
- Nasty.
- Wearing a ski
mask, whoever it is.
- Who is it?
- We're
gonna find out.
- No, no, no, no, no, no
don't, please, please!
Please don't, please.
- Hey, wait, Houston.
What if he's got brain worms.
Oh god.
- Houston, oh my God!
The Nazi cop!
How?
Look!
- What is it?
- A green wrapper.
You, you did this!
You killed him when
we were asleep!
- It's folded the wrong way.
- Shepard, take a look at this.
- Guys, he's right.
He always folds it lengthwise.
This is along the width.
It's not him.
- What does that mean?
- Well, if it wasn't
you, then who did it?
- Somebody's watching us.
- Who, where?
- It's double remote viewing.
Somebody's remote viewing us.
- Who?
- You're not the only
kook who does this?
Oh, well, you were right
about the dead body.
But there's no treasure.
- Not here anyway.
But I have a suspicion we
find that mysterious person
that's been watching
us and that person's
gonna have some answers for us.
- So now what?
- We have to call 911.
- I got nothing,
what about you guys?
- My phone is dead.
- Alright, guys, we're gonna
have to take the body with us.
Please.
- No way.
I'm not taking that dead
Nazi cop with us in the car.
- Alright, is everyone ready?
- Let's go.
- Give
me a hand, Shep?
I gotta go--
- Did you eve tie him down?
- Yeah, I did.
- With what?
- That stupid duct
tape that doesn't work.
- Oh my God!
- Tell her not to
worry, I'm just gonna--
- Oh God.
- See, that's easy, no problem.
Shepard.
- Yeah?
- You think he'll be all right?
- No.
- Why?
- He fell off the
roof and we weren't even moving.
- He'll be fine.
He wasn't flat
before, now he's flat.
Come on, let's go.
- It doesn't
look very flat.
- She all right?
- We have a dead body
and we don't have any treasure.
We have nothing.
- Yeah, we have the exact
opposite of what we
went looking for.
- Guys, guys, listen up!
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Our inked up Nazi
friend upstairs
is alias Adolf Himmler.
Fuck me.
FBI's most wanted for the
murder of Leonard Hunter,
a famous treasure hunter
who uncovered a bounty
of half a billion dollars.
- You hear this?
- Shit!
- Shitting dollar signs!
- That's ridiculous.
Crazy.
- The wealthiest part of
the ship, the stern castle,
was filled with a king's
ransom beyond compare
consisting of gold
bar's two stories high
and 24 tons of silver bullion.
- Holy Davy Jones locker.
- From The Monkees?
- Part of the bounty stolen was
called The Esperanza
mother load,
consisted of pieces
of eight gold coins,
Colombian emeralds,
and other jewels
from the wreckage called
the Spanish galleon,
Nuestra Esperanza.
- Davy Jones locker!
- So we're still on, right?
- Well, it's up to you guys.
- Of course, I wanna go.
Are you crazy?
Did you hear all that?
I'm gonna be rich!
- This
is the shittiest
police station I've ever seen.
I think they're closed.
- What kinda police
station closes?
- The kind you find in
these crazy, sicko towns.
- Alright, I'll leave
the body with a note.
That's it.
I think that's the house.
- That's
creepy alright.
- Yeah, whoever's been
doing the remote viewing
on us I think is in that house.
- So call the cops!
- That's a great idea, Joey.
Why don't we just go the
police station we just left,
the one that closes up at night.
- You know what, dude, there's
already been one murder.
Do you wanna be next?
- You're such a pussy.
- Can you guys shut up?
You're not really
helping anything.
- I want you kiddies
to make nice.
I'm gonna go check
it out, I'll be back.
- Are you sure
that's such a good idea, Dad?
I'm having second thoughts.
- It'll be okay.
- I don't
think it's a good idea!
- If I'm not back, call the FBI.
- What's going on?
Alright, you guys.
Stay here, I'm
gonna go follow him.
I'll be back.
Dad?
What the hell?
How high does that go up?
Jumbo rat shit hole
in the ceiling.
- Did you find anything?
- Shit, dude, you scared
the shit outta me.
Have you seen my Dad?
- No, I haven't seen anything.
- Stay close.
Dad.
Dad!
- Dude, dude!
Watch where you're
going, you scared me.
- You scared me.
- Did you find anything yet?
- No.
Go that way.
Wait, wait out here.
I'm gonna check this
room, don't go anywhere.
Look, stairs.
You go, I'll be
right behind you.
- There's
nothing up here, guys.
- You again.
- Yeah, me again.
Damn, I just hit my head
on something really hard.
- You okay?
- No.
- You hit the ceiling.
- Witch.
Ow!
- Trippy.
Let's go.
- Heather, Heather.
Make a face.
- Really, right now?
Are you serious?
- It's so weird.
Oh shit.
- Your Dad's in here.
Should we follow her?
- Dad.
Are you okay?
- Sure, yeah.
- I was calling you.
You didn't hear me?
- No.
- I was yelling.
- No, I didn't hear anything.
- I'm sorry about that.
The gentleman that
lived here before
I moved in was a musician.
He had all the
walls soundproofed
and your father couldn't
hear anything as a result.
Can I offer any of
you anything to drink?
Some wine?
- Oh, is that red?
- It sure is.
Uh, I, nevermind.
- So what are you all doing here
anyway in the
middle of the night?
Are you lost?
- Well, you know, you can always
find your way with
remote viewing.
Can't you?
- I guess I can't
keep this masquerade
up any longer, can I?
Not with a master
sleuth such as yourself.
And you fry me with those eyes.
Those magnificent eyes.
- I wanna know why have
you been watching us.
- I have not, or at
least not intentionally.
You happen to get in the
way of my own visions!
- You murdered him, didn't you?
- Well, he's not
so much the type
to commit suicide,
that's for sure.
Which is too bad.
But, no, I didn't murder him.
- Well, let me say,
we dug up a body
and he's dead as a doornail.
- Well, yes, bravo.
That I know.
I left him there
lying on the floor
with a dagger sticking
out his chest!
Now.
Can I offer any of you anything?
Lolly pop?
Ah!
- I love lolly pops.
- Here you go, my dear.
- Thank you.
- Those are delicious.
And for you, dear, you'd
adore the green one.
I know.
- Why are you playing with me?
- Because you and
I are the same.
We both share a
magnificent talent!
Doesn't that make you happy?
Don't you enjoy when
you meet someone
who shares a gift
so rare and special?
It makes me giddy.
Come, come on.
I have something
to show you all.
It's impressive, right?
My pride and joy.
- Well, look at that.
- So that thoughtful, kind,
sweet, SS officer
provided us with a video
for your viewing pleasure.
- Joey.
- What?
What?
- Take a look.
- Come over here.
- I'll fucking kill you.
Ah, my leg!
My eye!
Holy fuck!
What did I do?
- So.
As you can see, I'm innocent.
- That was just
like the scene we filmed.
- You're telling me.
- I'm ready for that drink.
- Why didn't you
go to the police with this?
- Well, the police
are hard to find here.
Why have you come
all the way here
from LA to visit
sweet, innocent me?
Was it to watch home videos and
clear me of murder
charges, was it?
- I'm just gonna have a
word with my friends here
for a second in
private if that's okay.
- Of course, sweetie.
- Guys, come here.
I'm thinking maybe we
should take her with us.
- Are you crazy?
- You think we should share
the treasure with her?
- Are you crazy, we
don't owe here anything.
- Yeah, that's only if
she helped us find it.
- Besides, we don't even know
if she knows where it is.
- Right.
- Alright.
Uh, Miss.
- Please, call me Liliane.
I believe that we've
known each other
for long enough that you can
go on a first name basis.
- Well yes, Liliane.
We're on a very special, but
very, very dangerous journey.
We'd rather keep our
reasons to ourselves.
- Of course.
So I'm sorry about your trauma
that you've been through.
- No.
Please don't apologize.
It has been a pleasure
getting to know all of you.
If you follow me,
I'll show you out.
- Sure.
- Please, this way.
Just follow me along this
way, it will be best.
You know, it is I who should
really be apologizing to you.
- Oh?
- Yes, an eye for an eye.
Just as you got in
the way of my vision,
unintentionally I'm sure,
I blocked your vision.
Every key has a lock
and you know the
location of the lock,
but have no key.
And I have a key, but don't
know the location of the lock.
So, you see, Houston,
sweetie, I propose
that we combine our images
to present the clear
vision of what it
is that you seek!
- Interesting, to say the least.
- I told
you I was intrigued.
- Now, what is it
you want in return?
- Just your kindred company.
- So you wanna come
with us for a joyride?
- I guess you could
put it that way, yes.
- I guess it's to
the land of Oz.
Shall we?
- Let's.
If I don't I'll go insane
- Hey, it's like a Mexican
version of Cinco de Mayo!
Like a madman in the rain
- Look, there's
the buses you drew.
- Yeah, look at that.
- There was a bus depot,
I couldn't see that?
- Perhaps because
you're a jet-setter.
- Oh, hardly.
I guess this is what
you've been looking for.
- Good Jesus!
- God.
- Hey, Joey, man, you okay?
You don't look to good.
Joey, you all right?
Check him out,
are you okay, pal?
- What if it's just
filled with sand?
- If it's just sand,
why would they put a lock on it?
Think about it.
- How are we gonna open it?
- I'll get a crowbar.
We'll jimmy it open.
- All right.
Hurry up, 'cause the girls are
like really antsy for the money.
- Okay, ready?
- Go for it.
- Are you okay?
- I can hear the angels singing.
Do you hear them?
- I can hear something singing.
Cayman Islands, here I come!
- Dad, you know you're the
best Dad I've ever had?
- I'm the only Dad you ever had.
- How we going to, uh,
divvy this up right here?
- Well, you could
take the usual route.
One for you, one for
you, one for you,
one for you, and
so on and so forth.
That would be the easiest way.
Well, anyway, it's getting late
and I wouldn't want to
turn into a pumpkin.
So it has been an
absolute pleasure going
on this adventure
with all of you
and I wish you all
the best, au revoir!
- Is she kidding?
- Liliane!
- Yes, sweetie?
- You're kidding, right?
- About?
- Leaving without taking
your share of the treasure.
- I told you before, it's
not the material that I seek.
It's the spiritual.
- She's still
kidding, isn't she?
- Cheers!
- You can have some of mine!
- Yeah, you
can have some of his!
Dad, what do you
think her deal is?
- I don't know, that is
strange, but beautiful.
- Where to next?
Excuse me.
Know where I can find McGregor?
- Who's asking?
- We are.
Is this your Ruby Pearl, here?
It's lovely.
We're actually a
group of filmmakers
from Los Angeles and
we were wondering
if you were going somewhere.
I like your boat.
Is he around here?
- Hey, McGregor!
Movie people!
- Ahoy!
- Ahoy, yourself.
- Hi, my name is Houston.
- Yeah.
- This is my son, Shepard.
- Hello.
- My beautiful actress
here, Heather.
And Joey is my filmmaker.
- Well, McGregor is the name.
What can I do for you, blokes?
- Is this your boat?
- The Ruby Pearl, oh yeah.
She's all mine now, sadly,
but I'll proudly accept her.
Used to be called by me partner
Leonard, Leonard Hunter.
Ah, what a sailor he was.
- Leonard Hunter?
- The finest sailor to sail
the Seven Seas as ever lived.
That is until he met up with
the old skull and crossbones.
I'll tell you, took the hand of
some evil jolly roger for sure.
What can I do for
you land lovers?
- Can you tell us
about the treasure?
- Which one?
- There's more than one?
- Let me educate you,
my sweet little lass.
There's more gold and silver out
in that ocean there
then all the land
your pretty little high
heels can stand on.
For 25 years, I've
searched shipwrecks and
Spanish plate fleets that
have sailed from Spain back
to the New World that's
been lost at sea.
I've snarled with more
galleons protected
by their skeletons than
I care to remember.
But all the while pulling up
unimaginable amounts of bounty.
- Within the
Western mother load?
- What do you
know about that, boy?
- You know, pieces of
eight, gold doubloons,
Columbian emeralds, a few diamonds
the size of strawberries.
- There's an old
adage: red skies
at night, sailors delight.
- Delight.
- Red sky in the
morning, sailors take warning.
- Yeah, but it was
red skies all right.
But Old Leonard, yeah,
Leonard stayed put.
He didn't even twitch a muscle.
Must have felt in his
bones a storm were brewing.
Now stubbornly we
stayed our course.
That surely being
responsible for our survival.
And then the morning came.
Everything was quiet,
hurricane passed.
Old Leonard took to
the warm waters below.
That's when he first
picked up the sun rays.
Seeing something shiny.
Gold bars, gold bars under the
west stern, hundreds of 'em.
Piled as high as
buzzards on a shit wagon.
Well, me, I was detoured East
about 50 feet off the bow.
I was by a hungry shark.
And that's when I discovered
something hard and dark.
A treasure chest.
That belonging to he
Nuestra mother load.
I just had to tip me
hat off to that shark.
If it wasn't for her,
I'd have never found it.
God love her.
- Please go on,
this is fascinating.
- Oh, the next day Leonard
took the treasure to our shop.
Said he was meeting some wealthy
museum curator from overseas.
I don't know, the guy
was claiming he wanted
to showcase the treasure in
his museums across Europe.
That's when I found Leonard,
dead, cold-blooded murder.
Treasure chest gone, no sign of
the filthy bastard that did it.
- We found him.
Adolf Himmler,
dead as a doornail.
We found him buried.
- Who are you people?
- Well, it's a little too
hard to explain right now,
but, McGregor, I
think I got something
here that belongs to you.
- What's that?
Oh.
Well, stiffen me crotch, hah!
I'll be a wet sponge off of
the arse of a nor'wester.
The mother load!
Nice work, boys.
Very nice.
- Boy, I guess our
work is done here.
- McGregor, it was
nice to meet you.
You take care now.
- Hold on, mate.
Get back here.
Your work may be finished,
but our's just begun.
Winxy.
- Houston, darling, I
knew I could count on you.
You see, darling,
didn't I tell you
he has the most wonderful eyes?
- You would never have found
the Esperanza without him.
- Now be a good husband and
pour some hogshead for everyone.
It's over 300 years old.
- Your wife?
- Yes, my wife.
She's a great one, at that.
You know what, she
finds all the treasure.
But I gotta admit, I
was having a tough time
tracking our sweet
Esperanza this time.
- It's true.
- And for the gorgeous ladies.
For you, for you.
A toast.
To kindred spirits.
- Kindred spirits
- Now, everyone dig
into the treasure!
- Go on, go ahead.
She wants you all to dig in and
take what's rightfully yours.
- You're shitting us, right?
- No way.
- Please, my husband and
I have more than enough
jewels and doubloons
for ourselves.
We insist, take your share!
- Snookums, they're
still being stubborn!
- You scary little scallywags.
Would you be wanting
your treasure
or would you rather be keyholed?
- Yo ho ho, we'll have
them walk the plank!
- Aye, the better.
- Yes, go on.
- This?
- A little bit more,
you greedy cockroach.
- Joey.
- I don't need much, I just.
- Chip?
- Go ahead, dude.
- Might as well.
Mine's bigger than yours.
- How about
you, beautiful eyes?
- Oh, not me, I'm not
one to take advantage,
but thanks anyway.
- Shepard, would you
please do me a favor
and take an extra big
handful for your lovely Dad?
- Will you hold this?
Don't judge.
- Extra big.
There's still so much
treasure that's left.
Now we just have
to figure out what
charity we want to donate it to.
- Listen, I want you
guys to stay in touch
with us because kindred
spirits are hard to come by.
- Come here.
Oh!
So good to see you again.
Darling.
- McGregor.
- Yes.
- Take care of yourself, pal.
- Ah, you know, matey.
Listen, you come back quickly.
We'll do a little swashbuckling.
You come back.
- Of course, of course.
Hey, Houston.
I'll be keeping an eye on you.
- You know, I'm really
gonna miss you guys.
I had a lotta fun.
- Heather, what are
you talking about?
You know we're gonna see
each other tomorrow, right?
- Oh, yeah.
We gotta look through all the
footage and start editing.
I forgot.
- We'll see
you tomorrow, Heather.
- Alright, bye.
- Okay, bye.
- Don't
let any of your
six roommates see
those diamonds.
- Yeah, yeah right!
- Bye.
Poor girl was all emotional.
- You see that?
- Hey, Houston, you
can drop me off right here.
- What?
- Anywhere,
just drop me off.
- You serious?
- Yeah, this
spot, pull over.
- Okay.
- Houston, are
you gonna stop or not?
- We got a flat?
What's wrong?
- What are
you talking about?
- Where is he going?
- We're stopping here.
- What's he doing?
- Thanks for
everything, you guys.
I'll see you later, okay?
- Where are you going?
- Dude, dude, what
are you doing?
You don't live here.
- I'll make 'em an offer.
- What if they don't wanna sell?
- They must take diamonds.
- Good luck.
See you later.
- See you tomorrow.
- What a character.
Hey, where are we going?
- The weirdo widow.
- Hey, we never paid the bill.
What do you think the next
film's gonna be about?
- Is there life after death?
- Hm.
What do you think?
- I have no idea.
- Yet.
One more second,
one more minute
That's just how we
jumped right in it
One more moment,
one more minute
I just can't
somehow forget it
Pictures and poetry
framed in a story
Wish I could step
back, I'm so sorry
Wish I could thank
you, make it a party
But you're in the stars and
it's just getting started
It's just getting started
Oh, you're such a fool
One more second,
one more minute
That's just how we
jumped right in it
Now it's gone,
it's been so long
But you're with me
Always
You're with me always
You're with me
Always
You're with me always
One more second,
one more minute