Rent-A-Groom (2023) Movie Script
1
[]
[]
[wind blowing]
[birds chirping in distance]
-[sighs]
-[indistinct chatter]
MAGGIE:
Isn't it magical?
[chuckles]
Sure, Grama.
Though I can't tell
if the bride's wearing
little glass slippers or not.
I bet they were
high school sweethearts.
He proposed to her on a vacation
in Paris.
The engagement ring rolled up
in a pair of his socks.
She's gonna jump off that cake,
and ride off on a pumpkin
any minute.
[chuckles]
WAITER:
Oh. Hmm.
I've always loved this place.
They do such wonderful
little weddings here.
I remember when your dad
married your mom.
He was so nervous.
I had to tie his bow tie
for him.
[chuckles]
I guess that's one good thing
about having a bum ticker
at my age.
I'll be seeing them both soon.
Grams, please don't talk
like that.
Allan does take good care of me.
He's probably back home,
mixing up my dinner hour
medicinal cocktail right now.
That should buy me
a few more hours.
Save the dramatics
for your readers.
I'd always imagined
I'd keel over at my typewriter.
You still have a typewriter?
Still, it isn't how you die.
-It's how you live.
-Hmm.
MAGGIE:
I'm proud of my writing.
I'm glad I was able to bring
some happiness to some people.
Even if were a little corny.
Hey.
You are still
Barmont publishing's
number one author.
And I'm most thankful for that.
But I'm most proud
of my granddaughter.
Honey.
I know
it hasn't always been easy
living with a substitute mom
who spent more time with
imaginary heiresses
and farm hands,
and less time at school plays
and birthday parties.
With Mom and Dad gone,
you had to be a mom twice.
Still.
[indistinct chattering]
There is one thing
I'd like to see before I go.
Okay, Grams. Come on.
We are not having the marriage
discussion again, are we?
It isn't about marriage.
It's about your happiness.
Whether you're married or not,
I just wanna leave knowing
that you're with someone.
I don't want to have
this conversation.
Not now.
You can't plot out my life
like one of your stories, Grama.
[gasps, groans]
Grams. Grama!
-Are you okay?
-[groans]
-Pills.
-Pills!
[groans]
-TRACEY: Here, here!
-[groans]
I just want you to be happy.
Grams, I'm happy!
Take your pill.
With someone.
I... I... I am. I have.
Please. Your pill.
[whimpers]
I'm engaged.
[gasps]
-MAGGIE: Really?
-I was gonna surprise you today.
I'm engaged.
Does he make you happy?
Yes, so happy.
Mrs. Westmoreland.
Is everything all right?
I think so.
Grams?
I think I'll just get her home.
[]
I'm so sorry.
I should have been there.
No, no, no, no, Allan.
It was a girls' day out.
-Mm.
-MAGGIE: Mm-hmm.
ALLAN:
All right, come on.
Margaret Westmoreland.
What are we going to do
with you?
[groans]
-You okay?
-Mm-hmm.
You are grounded, young lady.
I'm all right.
Really. I'm all right.
TRACIE:
No, Allan.
It's okay. I got her.
I'll go steep the tea.
TRACEY:
Let's get you inside.
MAGGIE:
Mm.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I upset you.
Oh, Grams, no.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I upset you,
and you can't afford
to get upset.
I'm all right now.
Okay.
I have to go.
Wait. You're engaged?
Yeah, Grams. I'm engaged.
I'm happy for you.
Me too. I'll talk to you soon.
I want to meet him.
ALLEN:
I got it. See you, sweetie.
[indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing in background]
SHELLEY:
Hey, Tray. Shall we get right
to the morning madness?
First book is a new one
from Gardner.
TRACEY:
Sci-fi, historical fiction,
satire hybrid?
-CONNIE: Good morning, Tracey.
-Yes.
Carl wants you to fix
its identity crisis.
Tracey? Tracey.
Carl wanted me
to give this to you.
Okay. Thank you, Connie.
Next, is the Cartwell Saga.
Carl wants you to turn
this epic into a novella.
Take it to the chop shop,
and get the blow torch out.
Hey. I'm just the one
who brings you the jalopies.
You're the one
who makes them run.
How's your grandmother?
Yeah. They're still
not really sure.
The doctors say
she's getting worse.
Could be weeks, could be days.
Oh, Tracey, I'm so sorry.
TRACEY:
Yeah.
Though she did perk up
a little bit
after pressing me
on my love life.
SHELLEY:
Oh?
No, nothing to tell. Just...
A little white lie?
-Yeah.
-Nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes, telling people
what they wanna hear
can be the best medicine.
Yeah. Maybe.
And tell her we all miss her.
This place has been
pretty gloomy
these last few months.
Okay.
SHELLEY:
Bring it in.
Mm, thank you.
My pleasure, my treasure.
Yeah.
Oh, I need a coffee.
[indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing]
[exhales] Okay.
[clears throat]
Tracey Westmoreland.
ALLAN:
Tracey? It's Allan.
Allan? Oh, my God.
What's... what's happened?
ALLAN:
Your grandmother made tea.
What? What do you mean?
ALLAN:
The other day
when you came to visit,
what did you talk about?
Oh, Allan, I'm sorry.
We got on the marriage
discussion again.
I think I may have upset her.
ALLAN:
You may have just cured her.
Like I said, she walked
to the kitchen this morning.
Completely unassisted?
ALLAN:
And made tea for two!
Wedge of lemon,
the good China.
Oh, glorious!
And the doctors were here.
They say she's responding
to her medication much better.
You... you're kidding.
That's... that's great!
ALLAN:
Great?
It's a full-on miracle!
We are talkin' Holy Ghost power
over here.
Then she told me
of another little miracle.
She said she's going
to meet a man in your life?
You know,
I'm not one to be morbid,
but I think it's wonderful
that you want
your grandmother's last days
to be filled with joy
by having found joy yourself.
Oh, you're an absolute angel!
[chuckles awkwardly]
ALLAN:
You know, if I weren't married,
I'd snap you up myself.
Mm. But I guess Hector
would have something to say
about that.
Thanks, Allan. I gotta go.
Can you give my love to Grams?
ALLAN:
I will. See you, sweetie!
See ya.
[]
[keyboard clicking]
[]
You must be Tracey.
Mm.
Rob Humphries.
You look exactly
like your picture.
It's great to meet you.
-TRACEY: Please.
-May I?
Okay.
[Tracey chuckles]
So, uh,
tell me about the service.
ROB:
Right.
Well, Rent-a-Groom deploys
folks like me
for all kinds of circumstances.
Jealous friends, creepy bosses,
amorous coworkers.
We can play boyfriends,
long-lost loves,
right up to full-on fiancs.
Once, I actually played
an overbearing older brother.
Uh, Humphries.
That's your...
that's your last name?
Actually, it's a stage name.
I'm a-- I'm an actor.
And a fan of Casablanca.
I took the name from Bogey.
-Humphrey.
-Bogart. I get it.
[chuckles]
Well, I hope you're a fan
of Raiders of the Lost Ark,
because I'm changing your name
to Jones.
[chuckles] Okay. Uh, great.
Well, usually, the agency
supplies the back story,
but I can see you have a very
thick folder there.
Mister Humphries.
Not Jones.
Rob.
I have created
a complete character profile
including a modest job
at a junior accounting firm
and a cabin in the mountains.
May I?
[chuckles]
Wow.
There are tabs if you...
Rob Jones it is.
I can live with that
the few days
we'll be working together.
Although, I don't expect you
to memorize everything.
I'll be there, of course,
to keep you on track.
I just--
I need attention to detail.
[chuckles]
Okay.
I mean, I love this stuff.
Sounds like fun actually.
Mr. Humphries-- Uh, Mr. Jones.
I wanna be clear with you.
I need this
to go by the numbers,
and in an expeditious manner.
Right. Of course.
Okay.
Do you know
who Margaret Westmoreland is?
The romance writer.
The Cassandra Robards series.
My mom used to read those
when I was a kid.
She loved them.
TRACEY:
Hmm.
Ah. Wait. Westmoreland.
Are you related to her?
She is my grandmother, yes.
You kidding me?
-TRACEY: No.
-Wow. Wow. Your grandmother.
Yes.
She is, um...
she's very ill.
Oh, gosh. I'm...
so sorry to hear that.
My parents died
when I was very young.
And Maggie raised me by herself.
Sounds like a--
like an incredible lady.
Well, ever since
I was a little girl,
she one day dreamed
of walking me down the aisle
to marry Mr. Right.
This is Mr. Right.
-Oh.
-With her illness,
she won't be there
for the wedding day.
This is about a couple of weeks
of joy.
She needs to believe completely
in this engagement.
Absolutely.
I assure you,
I will not let you down.
So, when do we start?
Tomorrow...
at my grandmother's house.
[exhales sharply]
[door knocking]
Yep?
How is Barmont Publishing's
greatest fixer this morning?
You know, got my head
under the hood of another one.
Ah, well, that's the problem
when you're the best
at something.
You get stuck there. [chuckles]
-Believe me, I know.
-TRACEY: Mm.
Sounds like
you could use a break.
Let me take you to lunch.
I'm afraid it's leftovers
at the desk for me again today.
TODD:
Mm. Dinner it is then.
In fact, I think it's about time
we popped the cord on that Dom.
I got a good feeling
about this sci-fi series.
I can't.
Hey. Listen.
It was one date.
-It was a mistake.
-I had a great time.
It's not what I mean, Todd.
-We work together.
-I agree.
We work very well together
in fact.
TRACEY:
Exactly.
And I would like to keep it
that way.
One drink. Call it a do-over.
I'm going to my grandmother's
house tonight.
Right.
Of course.
[clears throat]
How is Maggie doing?
Better surprisingly.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
That is good to hear.
Good to hear.
Amazing to think
that this whole company
started with her first
Cassandra novel 30 years ago.
Thirty-one actually.
TODD:
Yep.
Everything's gonna change
around here
once I get
the editor-in-chief position.
Hey, but don't worry.
Nothing's gonna change
between you and I.
I need Barmont's best fixer
on my team.
[clicks tongue]
Mm. Okay.
All right. Well... [exhales]
...back to makin' millions.
[chuckles]
Just kidding.
I do pretty well, though.
And, uh... give your grandmother
my best, okay?
You got it.
Can you close my door, Todd,
please? Todd--
TODD:
Janice! How the heck are ya?
[dog barking in distance]
Okay. Thank you. [chuckles]
Are you ready?
-Ready.
-Okay.
[foot falling]
Right. Engaged.
[door bell]
[foot falling]
Sweetie!
TRACEY:
Hi, Allan.
Good evening. I'm...
An absolute dream boat.
[chuckles]
ALLAN:
Get in here.
Welcome.
TRACEY:
Thank you, Allan.
ROB:
Thank you.
ALLAN:
Make yourselves comfortable.
I'll just be in the kitchen
eavesdropping.
[Tracey chuckles]
[gasps]
MAGGIE:
Cassandra Robards.
Appointment with Destiny.
Grams.
It was my mom's favorite
in the series.
Mine, too!
I had all the framed covers
at the old house.
But it seemed a little vain
to put up 20 books.
I figured one would do.
It's a good one.
Oh!
[chuckles]
It's so nice
to finally meet you, Rob.
It's an honor to meet you, Mrs--
Maggie. Call me Maggie.
Maggie.
Hi.
Grams, I mean... you look great!
I feel pretty great, too, kiddo.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
This way.
[chuckles softly]
ALLEN:
Tea, anyone?
MAGGIE:
Thank you, Allen.
ALLEN:
Of course.
Don't forget your little pair
of teeth, my sweet.
MAGGIE:
Mm-hmm.
Cheers.
I'll be upstairs,
watching my little murder shows
for a while.
You kids have fun.
I hope you like Earl Grey.
Mm-mm! My favorite.
Help yourself to the strudel.
I baked it fresh this afternoon.
You baked strudel?
MAGGIE:
Of course.
That's funny.
I don't remember
so much as a single cupcake
on any one of my birthdays.
ROB:
Thank you.
I pulled it out of the archives.
I found this wonderful,
old Austrian recipe
for pear strudel
when I was doing research
for book four.
One Vienna Summer.
Yes. You read it.
Well, over my mom's shoulder.
Impeccable taste, both of you.
So, your folks,
they'll be coming
to the wedding?
My mom has passed.
And my dad, well,
he's not really in the picture.
MAGGIE:
I'm sorry to hear
about your mother.
I understand
what that kind of loss means.
Thank you.
I know she would
have loved Tracey.
And she would've been thrilled
to be in-laws
with the great
Margaret Westmoreland.
[chuckles]
Charming fellow.
Wherever did you find him?
Well, Rob's accounting firm
does some consulting
for the publishing company.
Hmm.
TRACEY:
One day, we just kind of fell
into each other's arms.
Fell? More like crashed.
[chuckles]
The ski hill didn't look
quite so steep from the bottom.
-Ski hill?
-ROB: Hmm.
When did you take up skiing?
[splutters] I--
Whitefish. March.
A beautiful time of year.
You know, I think
it was the early morning glare
off the white mountain caps.
First run of the day.
Pristine powder.
Nothing but the sound
of the wind through the trees.
Just...
[imitates wind whooshing]
Oh, my goodness.
I was racing down the mountain.
The Arctic chill at my back.
And nothing but virgin snow
before me.
As I rounded a bend, a...
a mother deer and her fawn.
I swerved to avoid them,
and then I was in the trees.
[pants] Miraculously,
I survived the Alpine chaos,
just to run straight into a pack
of spring break skiers.
I'm a ball of bindings
and goggles.
And when I finally came to rest,
I looked up, and I...
I saw an angel.
Oh, my goodness. Tracey!
Why didn't you tell me
about this?
It was just a work thing,
you know?
[chuckles]
-Team building.
-Mm.
Hmm.
-ROB: Hmm.
-So, she rescued you?
[chuckles]
It's perfect.
-Yes.
-Perfect.
[chuckles softly]
The, uh... the, uh,
consulting came later.
You don't speak
like an accountant.
[chuckles]
Hmm.
I'm gonna refill the teapot.
Rob...
darling, how about a tour
of the kitchen?
Of course, my love.
[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Let's go right now.
What on earth are you doing?
Oh, just a little improvising.
Improvising?
Oh, come on, Tracey.
This is Margaret Westmoreland.
She doesn't want tax returns
and office parties.
Okay. Listen, Rob.
[chuckles]
I'm not paying you
to be James Bond,
or Heathcliff,
or the king of Siam.
I'm paying you
to be Robert Jones,
accountant, and my fianc.
If you could just stick
to the script for the next hour,
we can wrap this up,
and both get back
to our own lives.
Okay?
Understood. I apologize.
It won't happen again.
Okay.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
MAGGIE:
"Young man,
you're simply too short."
MAGGIE:
He pops
on the casting director's
high heel shoes,
turns to me, and said,
"How do you like me now?"
[laughs]
Unbelievable!
I didn't realize
you had a say in casting.
How many of your books
did they adapt?
Oh, I don't know.
A dozen, I think.
Simply amazing.
Well, we could listen
to Grama's old Hollywood stories
all night long, but...
we should probably let you
get some rest.
Nonsense!
I was thinking of putting
some music on.
Perhaps finding out if this
young man knows how to tango.
Mm.
Tracey's probably right.
I got two left feet anyway.
[chuckles]
Happy wife, happy life, huh?
Indeed.
MAGGIE:
Well, I can certainly see that.
I may not be here for the day--
Grams, come on.
But I will rest easy,
knowing she's happy.
[kisses]
-MAGGIE: Thank you.
-Thank you.
-MAGGIE: Goodbye, darling.
-Mm.
[kisses]
Okay.
I'll talk to you tomorrow,
Grams, okay?
MAGGIE:
Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
TRACEY:
Someone's birthday?
[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Oh, no.
I didn't think
you were the marrying type.
Carl. Well--
Oh, I can't wait to meet him
at the engagement party.
Engagement party?
-CARL: Yeah.
-What?
Who said anything
about an engagement party?
Your grandmother.
Yeah, she called me last night.
Maggie called you?
CARL:
Yeah. She told me everything.
I just think
it's wonderful, Tracey!
I haven't heard her
that happy in...
[sighs]
CARL:
...years.
I, for one, think
this is great news.
It's like the whole office
is ecstatic.
Oh. It's exactly
what we all needed.
Just to see Maggie again.
Oh! Oh!
You couldn't have planned it
any better.
Hey, girlfriend.
How come your best friend
is the last person
to hear about all this? Hmm?
Come here.
SHELLEY:
Who's question mark?
TRACEY:
Get in here!
SHELLEY:
Ouch.
[door closes]
Okay. I'm not engaged.
What?
What are you talking about?
It's all over the office.
I hired a guy.
Okay, what?
TRACEY:
No, no. Not like that.
My grandmother is dying.
Don't say that!
TRACEY:
It's the truth, Shelley.
I went to go see her last week.
We got on the marriage argument
again.
She just about keeled over
right there.
I panicked, and I blurted out
that I'm engaged.
SHELLEY:
You lied to your grandmother?
I tried to tell you.
And you said all that stuff
about white lies
and good medicine.
Well, that's a little more
grey than white.
Yeah. Well, then she wanted
to meet him.
So, I called
this rent-a-groom place.
Rent a groom?
I'll explain later.
But just...
you can't tell anyone.
Please, Shelley--
Okay, okay. I get it.
TRACEY:
Okay, look.
As far as this office
is concerned,
this engagement is real.
All right.
I'll play along
for Maggie's sake.
I just hope you know
what you're doing.
So do I.
So, is he cute?
I'm going through changes
It's going faster...
TRACEY:
I'm sorry.
I'm sure
this will be the last time.
I just--
I need you there tonight.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
The whole office?
So, we have a full house
tonight.
It's just a quick, little thing
at a restaurant.
Ah, Dinner Theatre.
The blue rinse crowd.
Try the buffet. Got it.
I need you
on your best behavior.
No improv, right?
Tax returns all the way.
Okay.
So, tonight, eight o'clock,
Hollingsworth's.
Um, no. No.
So, we... we...
we can't go there.
I used to work there.
It's her favorite place.
Well, someone will recognize me.
It'll blow my cover for sure.
You're that famous, huh?
[chuckles]
There's this great little
French bistro, Annabelle's,
over on the East Side.
Tell her
it was our first date place.
She'll love it.
You are creative.
I will give you that.
Just a little improvising.
[scoffs softly]
All right.
I'll make the arrangements.
Just make sure
you pick me up on time.
Haven't missed
a curtain call yet.
[]
[door opens and closes]
[clears throat]
ROB:
You look lovely.
Thank you.
You look lovely, too.
A lovely couple then.
Well, gotta look the part,
right?
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
Like you said,
"Gotta look the part, right?"
[chuckles]
ROB:
It's on loan from a...
a good friend.
I get it.
It's a... it's a prop.
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Tracey chuckles]
Something like that.
Try it on.
There. Now, we both
have our motivation
for the next scene.
[foot falling]
TRACEY:
Thank you. [chuckles]
[engine revving]
[Allan chuckles]
[Maggie chuckles]
MAGGIE:
I'm so excited.
Oh, really?
MAGGIE:
There they are.
[car door closes]
MAGGIE:
You look breathtaking!
She's all yours.
[kisses]
Um, Grams.
Where did this new wardrobe
come from?
MAGGIE:
This old frock?
I wore it to my last
book signing in New York.
I'm pulling out all the stops.
Maggie, you look heavenly.
Aw.
Speaking of,
this Annabelle gal...
I'm sorry
about the last-minute switch.
Oh, not at all.
I've been going
to Hollingsworth's for years.
And this place,
talk about enchanted.
Wherever did you find it?
Sometimes, you just stumble
upon something,
and you... you fall in love.
[chuckles]
[grunts softly]
Well, if the house sparkling
is any indication,
it's love at first sight.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
Such a gentleman.
[breathes deeply]
MAGGIE:
This is lovely.
[indistinct lyrics
in backgrouund]
ROB:
Oh, here, let me.
TRACEY:
Just two red wines, please.
Uh, thank you.
-Maggie.
-Thank you.
Yes, yes, yes.
[glass clicking]
Ladies and gentlemen.
It gives me great pleasure
to introduce to you
my granddaughter Tracey
and her fianc Rob.
[clapping]
I've written many stories
in my time.
And I've sent many characters
on wile adventures,
looking for love.
But it's often when we stop
searching for something
that we find it.
So, I'd like to propose a toast.
To letting love find you.
[glass clicking]
-Here.
-Thank you.
ROB:
I think you could use a drink.
-Yeah.
-[Shelley clears throat]
The mystery man at last.
Shelley.
This is my fianc, Rob.
Rob, this is my best friend,
Shelley.
The one with the big mouth.
I've heard all about you.
I didn't know accountants
were so good-looking.
-Uh, Shelley, dear.
-[chuckles]
I don't think
this fine restaurant
wants to be the scene
of a murder tonight.
Oh, my good God!
TRACEY:
What?
This ring.
It's enough to make a girl weak
in the knees.
It's just a prop.
It could've fooled me.
Yes. Well, maybe you should go
rest your weak knees.
Keep your mouth shut, okay?
Don't worry about me.
I'll keep my mouth shut.
Listen, are you available
the next couple of weeks?
I have this ex-boyfriend
I wanna drive crazy--
Shelley!
Okay.
SHELLEY:
Hi!
TODD:
Hey, Shelley.
SHELLEY:
They invited you.
What was that about?
She knows.
Knows what? [chuckles]
Tracey, you look...
[blows kiss] ...delicious.
-Okay.
-Todd. This is my fianc, Rob.
Rob.
ROB:
Mm.
[sighs]
It is truly an honor
to meet the man
who, uh, melted
the ice queen's heart.
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
So, seriously, how'd you do it?
No, no. Let me guess.
You're a crown prince,
heir to the throne of Moravia,
and, uh,
gave it all up for love.
ROB:
No. Afraid not.
Oh, well, I got it.
You are a secret agent,
masquerading
as an international playboy.
You're hiding here until
the heat blows over, and
Tracey here is your cover.
[chuckles]
That sounds a lot like the plot
to my third novel, Todd.
[chuckles]
You wanna be careful
I don't sue you for plagiarism.
[chuckles] Oh, Maggie.
May I just say on behalf
of the entire
Barmont Publishing family
how truly honored it is
to have you here this evening,
and looking so radiant.
Why, thank you, Todd.
Perhaps I'll have you deliver
my eulogy.
Maggie...
don't even talk like that.
Of course, I'd be honored
to, uh, read at your funeral--
Cool your jets, Todd.
I'll probably screw
everything up,
and outlive all of you.
[laughs]
Oh, Maggie.
Dinner is served.
Yum. [chuckles]
[whistles]
ROB:
I guess I've always
had a thing for numbers.
A passion really.
And most kids hate the idea
that math is all around us.
It's in the portions of food
on your dinner plate.
The number of friends and family
you can sit around the table.
The number of beats per minute
of the heart of a man
madly in love.
Well, there's...
there's a pureness to math.
And a beauty.
You know, a certain completeness
in combination.
The sum is greater
than its parts.
You sure don't talk
like an accountant.
[laughs] Accountant, right.
I still like
the international playboy angle.
Nope. Numbers guy.
[laughs] Oh, okay, Mr. Einstein.
Hey, Rob,
what firm did you say
you were working for again?
Robinson & Younger.
TODD:
Is that right?
You know, I think I know
a couple of guys over there.
What's the manager's name again?
Let's not bore the party with--
Roger. Roger McLaren.
Roger. Right. Right.
So, he would know you.
ROB:
That's highly unlikely.
They don't let me
out of the cellar very often.
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
[laughs]
No. To be honest,
I haven't had much of a chance
to mingle since transferring
here from Chicago.
Oh, sure, sure.
Of course, of course.
But you've been doing some
consulting with our company.
Did you know that, Carl?
Oh. I don't really handle
the books.
Oh, yes.
Anyone actually seen this guy?
SHELLEY:
Of course, Todd.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I've corresponded with Rob
a couple of times.
I just never made
the romantic connection.
Chicago.
Is that where you're from?
Yes. Born and raised.
I... I grew up
around restaurants actually.
My dad started out as a waiter
at a little French place
just like this.
An engagement party
would break his heart.
Really?
ROB:
Oh, sure.
He'd say, "There's one less
bachelor come here to eat
every night."
-[chuckles]
-[Shelley chuckling]
He was a little old-fashioned.
I see.
After my mom died,
he decided to open up
a little place of his own.
He did all right.
But I saw the toll
it took on him.
Being the face of a business,
it's hard on family life.
People don't wanna see
the waiters.
They wanna see you.
He was hoping that he'd hand
the whole thing over to me,
but...
I went a different direction.
Into the exciting world
of numbers.
[laughs]
Yeah. Yeah, something like that.
[chuckles]
But now, I'm...
I'm ready for a new journey.
I... I don't know
if it was the moonlight,
reflecting off the pool
that lit up her eyes
when I first saw them.
Pool?
I thought you were skiing.
Skiing?
The... the pool came
after the skiing.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right.
TRACEY:
We, um...
I would just like
to thank you all for being here
this evening.
This is as much for my
grandmother as it is for us.
Thank you, both of you.
[chuckles]
And with that, I'm afraid
we must bid you all adieu.
ROB:
Mm.
Okay.
Darling, shall we?
Of course.
[clapping]
-TRACEY: Okay.
-Nice to meet you all.
-SHELLEY: Bye.
-And nice to meet you, Robert.
ROB:
Todd.
What did I say
about improvising?
The pool was a little slip.
A little slip.
I just though we needed
to get back
to the romantic stuff.
[sighs]
Oh, come on.
The crowd was loving it.
Hmm.
I guess it did go over well.
Thank you for the save
on the accounting manager.
I did not have that
in the character profile.
-Hey. I did my research.
-Okay.
[Todd laughs]
-Tracey.
-Todd.
-Numbers guy.
-Hi.
-[laughs]
-[chuckles]
Thanks for coming, Todd.
It was a pleasure.
You could've warned me
about Todd.
I'm sorry.
Such a lovely evening.
So, what have you planned
for the wedding?
I know Claude very well
at the Somerset Tea House.
It's such a romantic place.
-It'd be perfect!
-TRACEY: Mm.
We were thinking of keeping it
a small affair.
Justice of the peace
and a few friends.
Hmm.
I see.
Well, I guess it shouldn't
matter to me anyway.
Well, it wouldn't hurt us
just to look at the place.
Oh, bless you, darling.
I was hoping
that you would say that.
Allan and I can meet you there
tomorrow at noon.
We'd be delighted.
Delighted.
Very well.
Onward, driver.
ALLAN:
But, of course, mademoiselle.
I'll see you later!
-Love you.
-MAGGIE: Love you, sweetie.
[Allan chuckling]
[door bell clicks]
What was that?
This was supposed to be it.
A couple weeks of joy.
That's what you said.
I'm game if you are.
I'll even give you a discount.
A discount.
No skiing or pool stories,
all right?
Yes, dear.
Don't "Yes, dear" me, Rob Jones.
[chuckles]
[]
[door bell rings]
Good morning.
Hi.
Two milk, one sweetener, right?
Yeah.
How did you know that?
Attention to detail.
[chuckles]
What are you doing here?
I thought we'd do
a little acting exercise.
-Get in the character.
-A what?
Come on. Get your coat.
Trust me, you'll love it.
TRACEY:
Okay.
[chuckles]
Can you tell me
where we're going?
[chuckles]
ROB:
Trust me.
Okay.
ROB:
I had this bit part
on this Western TV show
a few years back.
TRACEY:
Mm-hmm.
ROB:
I played this juggler
in this traveling group
of performers.
I had two lines.
"The show must go on."
And "Pardon me, ma'am,
but I do believe your cow
just ate
one of my juggling clubs.
[giggles]
[chuckles]
I had three minutes
of screen time,
but I took three days,
and I developed
this... this whole backstory
for this juggler.
-Backstory?
-Yeah.
Like, well, how did he end up
with this motley crew?
And did he come
from a long line of jugglers?
Or did he earn a degree
in projectile throwing
from a prestigious
juggling university?
I... I even gave him
this slight Swedish accent.
[chuckles]
ROB:
I figured he grew up juggling
pickled herrings.
TRACEY:
Oh, wow.
ROB:
It's called an origin story.
You see, even though
I only had a couple of lines
and a... a few minutes'
screen time,
the backstory made
the character
more... more real, more...
more alive.
Even if you did stink
of herring.
[chuckles]
Like, what about us, huh?
What's our origin story?
Oh. I think you rolled that out
with your skiing-slash-
pool party gig.
Yeah. That's how we met,
but who are we?
Tell me about
this Rob Jones guy.
What attracted you to him?
Uh, the usual things.
He's honest, hard working.
Sensible shoes.
Sounds like a real
prince charming.
[chuckles]
He, um...
he has a nice smile.
Really? [chuckles]
Mm-hmm.
And, um,
a chihuahua named Louie.
Yes. Now, we're talkin'!
[chuckles]
Okay. Well, what about this
Tracey Westmoreland character?
Hmm?
Let's see.
She... she does wear
sensible shoes.
[chuckles]
But she's also got
this gorgeous red pair
of patent leather heels
that she wears
for special occasions.
She works as an editor
at a publishing firm,
but she secretly wants to start
a hippie commune in Oregon.
I did spend a lot of time
wandering the wilderness
in my... in my youth.
After my parents died, I, um...
I closed myself off
a little I guess.
My grandmother was great.
I mean...
she just lost her son
and her daughter-in-law, but...
she stepped right in...
with... unconditional love
for a sad and angry
12-year-old girl.
We should... we should probably
get back to port.
Don't wanna be late
for the ball.
Listen, Tracey,
I... I wanted tell you...
when I was telling about my mom
last night, I...
I meant no offense
to your folks.
It's all right, Rob. I know.
Sometimes life is a series of...
half truths.
I know.
Maybe Rob Jones knows
a little bit more about life
than just sensible shoes.
Maybe.
He... he does know
what it's like to be a...
a sad and an angry little kid.
My mom really did die...
when I was nine.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Come on.
I don't wanna leave Maggie
standing at the altar.
CLAUDE:
Good morning. And welcome
to the Somerset Tea House.
Are you here for tea or a tour?
We're meeting someone
for a tour.
Oh. Forgive me.
It's Tracey, isn't it?
TRACEY:
Yeah.
CLAUDE:
Oh, my. Your grandmother.
How is she?
Better.
We're meeting her here.
And you're considering
having your ceremony here?
[gasps]
Wonderful!
It's just a tour.
Well...
[sighs]
...may I be so bold
as to confess
that your love for one another
simply radiates
from your very beings?
[chuckles]
It's that obvious, huh?
-Good morning, lovers!
-Good morning, lovers!
ROB:
Maggie.
MAGGIE:
My little dance routine
last night reminded me
I still need my wheels
now and then.
-Mm.
-TRACEY: Mm.
Hello, Claude.
Oh, Mrs. Westmoreland.
May I say what an honor it is
for us to host you.
This will be an event
to remember.
It's just a tour.
Wonderful!
Feel free to make yourselves
at home.
Roam the grounds
at your leisure.
We can't wait to help you
celebrate your magical day!
Well, we're just heading up
for another service
this afternoon.
I will be in the event room
if you have any questions.
Right.
Let's go out into the sunshine.
Onward, driver.
[chuckles] But, of course,
mademoiselle.
Wonderful.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
It's beautiful.
Simply beautiful.
ALLEN:
It certainly is.
MAGGIE:
Would you two kids mind
doing me a favor?
TRACEY:
What's that, Grams?
Could you just stand over there?
You know, so I could just take
a picture.
Grama, really?
Maggie, we'd be delighted.
[sighs]
[hums]
-Stop it.
-[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Well, here we at.
-EVENT PLANNER 1: It's Chad.
-It really is quite magical.
[chuckles] Yeah, wish I could do
a disappearing trick right now.
ROB:
Smile.
TRACEY:
Mm.
EVENT PLANNER 2:
Oh, my God. It is him.
[event planner chuckling]
I'm so embarrassed.
-ROB: Oh.
-But I just had to meet you.
[giggles]
Are you coming back
for a second season?
Second season of what?
EVENT PLANNER 1:
Sinners of the City. [gasps]
Chad the mechanic!
Ladies, I'm sorry.
I'm not... I'm not
who you think I am.
You were so sexy.
EVENT PLANNER 1:
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I'm not who you think I am.
[shrieks]
[Rob grunts]
[event planner 2 squealing]
ROB:
Ladies, ladies.
EVENT PLANNER 1:
You were so...
[shrieks]
[screams]
[giggles]
ROB:
Ladies, please. Please.
[both giggles]
[speaks indistinctly]
EVENT PLANNER 2:
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
[event planners squealing]
TRACEY:
Sinners of the City?
It was a bit part.
A terrible show
a couple years back.
I totally forgot about it.
Well, let's hope we don't run
into anymore "Chad" fans.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at this chair.
This is incredible.
Hello. May I?
-Really?
-Yeah.
-I got it.
-No, I got it.
-I got it!
-I got it.
-Oh, you got it.
-Thank you.
Oh, and it goes backwards,
are you kidding me?
ALLEN:
Careful.
ROB:
Let's really take this
for a spin.
Let's get the cars.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
TRACEY:
It's okay. Let's go.
He does this every day.
ALLEN:
What?
TRACEY:
Yeah. He, like, volunteers.
And this I believe
is your stop, my lady?
Let's get in the car.
-ALLEN: So comfortable.
-TRACEY: Okay.
-ROB: Ooh!
-Slowly.
Oh.
-ALLEN: Ah, yeah.
-MAGGIE: Uh-huh.
ALLEN:
Uh-huh.
[Maggie groans]
Well, all right, sweetie.
I'll call you.
I'd like to have you both
over for dinner again soon.
Maximize my time with you.
Sounds good, Grams.
Feet in.
Take care, Tracey.
[Tracey chuckles]
And, Rob.
I kinda wanna call you Chad now.
[both laughs]
Chad!
You can't-- get outta here.
ROB:
I totally forgot about that.
It wasn't supposed to come out
till next week.
TRACEY:
So, you model as well?
Oh. Thank God they haven't seen
the commercial.
An ad campaign and a commercial!
Are they spinning this
into a mini-series as well?
[chuckles]
Do you have any sunglasses?
ROB:
What for?
To hide your face?
Look, I'm a working actor.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm not responsible for reruns
and ad campaigns.
I just don't like surprises.
ROB:
Well, it's been a while
since I've to submit a resum
for a job,
but I can assure you
it's a rambling list
of corny commercials
and cop number two guys.
I can't help it
if Chad the mechanic pops up
every once in a while.
[groans]
Lisen, um...
I really do appreciate
everything you're doing
for my grandmother.
I know this must be tough
for you.
But if you need me,
I'll be there...
for both of you.
[chuckles softly]
Hold onto it... for now.
[chuckles]
Thanks, Rob.
[foot falling]
[indistinct chatter]
TODD:
Hey! There's little miss fix it.
Hello, Todd.
How was your hangover?
TODD:
It was great.
Thank you for asking.
How was the weekend
with the crown prince?
He's an accountant.
TODD:
Oh, right!
I'm sorry I keep forgetting.
You know what's weird
is I actually phoned over
to Robinson & Younger,
and they've never heard
of a Rob Jones.
I'm sure if someone were to call
Barmont Publishing
and ask for a Todd Pearlman,
they might get
a similar response.
[chuckles softly]
That's not true.
Look, maybe I don't wanna see
you get hurt, okay?
I think you're makin'
a big mistake.
Okay. He's an accountant
you like numbers, okay?
I get it.
But I know numbers, you know?
I-- what number am I thinking
about right now?
One.
Lucky guess.
See, we're succinct. We're--
Todd.
This has been super fun.
Tracey, I can give you numbers.
TODD:
Trace?
[sighs]
TODD:
Shelley, did you miss me?
[]
[keyboard clicking]
Got some beaters
for our in-house grease monkey.
Hello, Miss Miracle Worker!
Got some clunkers,
and they're out of gas.
He was telling the truth.
Come again.
Rob.
He was telling the truth
about his upbringing in Chicago.
Oh, yeah?
Wow. He is prolific.
Is Chad the mechanic on there?
I don't know.
But look at this.
Look at his bio.
Born in Chicago.
Mom died when he was very young.
Raised by his father,
and like most aspiring actors,
he waited tables.
Mm-hmm.
He was telling the truth.
[clears throat]
What?
You're falling for this guy.
What? No, of course, not.
[scoffs] No.
Yes, you are.
I've never seen you look
at a real guy like that,
let alone a picture of one.
Don't be ridiculous.
I'll admit he's... he's cute.
[chuckles]
He definitely looks the part.
I'll give him that.
He's an actor after all.
So?
I'm just saying,
you can't believe everything
you read on the web,
especially on an actor's bio.
He's actually very sweet, too.
True. He's a real Romeo.
And you make a great Juliet.
Stop.
O Romeo, Romeo.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Deny thy father
and refuse thy name.
Not a lot of people know
the next line of that speech.
Classically trained.
Sorry,
I was in the neighborhood.
Can I take you for lunch?
I wanna ask you something.
[clears throat]
That's up to her! [laughs]
SHELLEY:
I could eat, but whatever.
Okay, bye-bye.
Yeah, yeah.
I... I would love to eat.
I'll just get my bag.
[door closes]
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct chatter]
TRACEY:
Can I ask you something?
Shoot.
Are you really from Chicago?
I am.
So, the other night
at the party
when you were talking
about your past,
your mom and dad...
were you telling the truth?
I was.
I just figured
it was easier that way.
[chuckles]
I realized I might have been
going off script, but it just...
it felt right.
Honestly, it was... it was nice.
[chuckles]
See, sometimes,
acting's all about improvising.
[chuckles]
If things change, then you...
you roll with it.
TRACEY:
Mm.
And if your partner
has a great idea,
you go with it.
It's called... chemistry.
Hmm.
Like Laurel and Hardy,
or Newman and Redford.
Bogey and Bacall.
[chuckles]
Exactly.
So, what did you...
what did you wanna ask me?
I just wanted float
something past you.
I mean, you have this knack
for problem-solving.
Mm-hmm.
They don't call me
the fix-it gal for nothing.
[Rob chuckles]
Even if it's crazy,
and it doesn't make any sense?
But when you think about it,
it kinda does?
Yeah. I mean,
life is crazy, right?
A lot of things in life don't,
I mean, make sense.
Okay. Here goes.
I'm going to be a dad...
I hope.
What?
In a streaming series. A part.
Oh!
My agent just called.
They wanna see an audition tape.
It's a tiny part,
but it's recurring...
if I get it.
A part. Yeah.
Hey. But they shoot
the pilot here.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Then it's just back to LA.
I just don't know
whether I should send
the tape in or not.
I'm done with rejection,
you know?
TRACEY:
Mm. Mm-hmm.
ROB:
But it's not a mechanic.
[chuckles]
It's a cop show.
Would you read it?
You know, as an editor,
you could tell me
what you think of this guy.
You know, how I should approach
this character.
-Sure.
-Really?
[Tracey chuckles]
Because I was thinking
of packing
this whole acting thing,
and, you know,
maybe become a real accountant.
No, Rob. If...
if the part's good,
I'm... I'm happy for you.
I know you'd understand.
You know, Joe Pesci
was going to quit acting
right before he got Raging Bull?
-Really?
-ROB: Hmm.
Didn't know that before.
Maybe I could stop by
your office this afternoon
with... with the script.
Yeah. Sure.
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
SHELLEY:
Tracey, Tracey, Tracey. Tracey.
Do you ever work?
Oh, I've been working.
Fact-checking on your boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend.
Pull up his bio.
There, look.
Oh, wait.
Look.
What?
Remember what he said
about his dad?
He was a waiter
in a French restaurant,
and he opened up
a little place of his own.
He did all right.
His father
is Arthur Hollingsworth.
Founder and CEO of the chain
of Hollingsworth's
fine-dining restaurants.
Okay. So?
So? It means he's loaded.
Why would he lie about that?
It's not exactly a lie.
More of an act.
SHELLEY:
Hi, my name's Rob.
I'm not a real serial killer,
but I play one on TV.
-Boo!
-Ah!
[laughs]
I'm so sorry.
Hello, Shelley. Oh.
We have to stop meeting
like this.
Robert Jones, hello.
-Back to my fact-checking.
-TRACEY: Mm.
[chuckles]
You up for a read?
ROB:
So, I thought we could run
some lines even
if you don't mind playing
a gum-smacking waitress.
I'm the hitman
who knocked you up.
But I'm trying to go straight.
Can I ask you
something personal?
Who's improvising now?
Tell me about that restaurant
that your dad opened.
My dad?
TRACEY:
Yeah. I saw the photo
buried in your bio page.
You and your dad,
it was a recent picture.
You know you pay an agent
to update those things.
Is your dad
Arthur Hollingsworth?
Yes.
And why does that matter?
Because my dad
is Arthur Hollingsworth.
Imagine being the son
of one of the most successful
restaurateurs in the country.
Then imagine saying "No"
to that fortune
when it was offered to you.
Sounds a lot like being
the granddaughter
of one of the greatest
romance novelists
of the 20th century.
Exactly.
I spent most of my life
in that shadow,
and it was awfully cold there.
So, I decided to step out
into the light
and just happened to be
in the light of the stage,
Well, a prominent name
could have opened doors for you.
If I'm gonna make it,
I wanted it to be
because I earned it.
Not because who my father is.
There's no shame in that.
[phone rings]
Oh, it's Maggie. Hello.
-MAGGIE: Hey, hon. Got a minute?
- Yes.
MAGGIE:
What are you doing?
Actually,
we're just having a drink.
Is everything okay?
MAGGIE:
Yes. Can I see you?
-TRACEY: Sure.
-MAGGIE: Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Yeah, I'll be there.
MAGGIE:
Say "Hi" to Rob.
Yes. I'll tell him
you say "Hello."
MAGGIE:
Okay, bye, hon.
Okay, bye.
Maggie is coming
to the office tomorrow.
A big announcement.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Thanks for being honest.
MAGGIE:
I'm afraid
I've done something crazy.
What are you talking about?
Completely selfish, I know.
What's going on?
I spoke with Claude.
Went by a few days ago
to pay for the attack
of the Chad fans in the gazebo.
-Okay.
-And something struck me.
Just felt right.
Grama, what have you done?
I booked a wedding rehearsal
for you and Rob.
[indistinct chatter
in background]
[claps]
A dress rehearsal really.
You're kidding.
Maggie!
What a pleasant surprise.
What's going on?
They're having
a wedding dress rehearsal.
-Wait--
-That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
Oh. Uh, Tracey and Rob
are having a wedding dress
rehearsal.
Oh, yippee!
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I should have spoken to you.
I know you both want
a small ceremony.
And you can still have it.
This way,
no matter what happens,
I can say I was there with you.
Oh, Grama.
[grunts]
I'm just asking
for this one thing.
The rest is up to you,
I promise.
Okay, Grama.
And you're all invited.
This Saturday
at the Somerset Tea House.
And I want you all
in your Sunday best.
[clapping]
Whoo!
CARL:
You know, this is just
like the surprise marriage
in the fifth Cassandra novel.
Remember, where she falls
for the Swedish prince!
-Yeah.
-Oh!
It's a regular, old fairy-tale.
Mm-hmm.
We don't have to do this, Tray.
It's my grandmother's
dying wish, Shelley.
[phone rings]
Sure. One last show then.
Maybe.
Maybe?
What if it's not a show?
What do you mean?
Rob wants to meet
to discuss some big news.
So, you have fallen in love
with this guy.
I don't know.
Maybe I have.
[chuckling]
[sighs]
I guess she likes insurance ads.
Actually, it's the series,
I guess, Sinners of the City.
It's been streaming nonstop
online.
[chuckles]
Oh, that reminds me.
I have not had a chance
to read Walk the Talk.
But I think you would make
a wonderful hitman-slash-
long-distance daddy.
-Thank you.
-Yep.
Though as a working mom,
I would not consider that
a stable job for a child.
[chuckles]
Well, that's kinda what
I wanna talk to you about.
What kind of a career can an
actor carve out in this city,
you know, without going to LA?
It's very tough.
Which leads me
to my big announcement.
I think she brought friends.
-Run!
-Ooh!
I love you, Chad!
We love you!
-[pants]
-My agent told me
there's even an online petition
to bring Chad back.
No.
-[chuckles]
-Although,
I did die in a horrible
dishwasher accident.
Wow!
-[chuckles]
-I think we may have lost them.
-Okay.
-Here. Come on here.
I wanna tell you something.
Oh. Speaking of jobs,
my grandmother has one more
favor to ask of you.
-Hmm.
-She's booked a
dress rehearsal for the wedding.
A dress rehearsal? But I thought
we were having a small ceremony.
I mean, Rob and Tracey Jones,
that is.
Hmm. We are.
And that's the story.
It's kind of a--
like a wedding gift, I guess.
It's more for her really.
And, hey, if you're gonna have a
wedding,
why not have the greatest
living romance novelist
planning it for you?
-[chuckles]
-[Tracey laughs]
Well, that's exciting.
Mm-hmm.
But I think I have you beat.
Really?
I'm not gonna be a dad anymore.
Oh!
Broke up with the waitress
already, huh?
[chuckles]
The pilot, it got picked up,
and they want me for the lead.
Rob! What?
-[chuckles]
-[Rob laughs]
I have a wardrobe fitting
on Saturday.
We shoot here
for a couple weeks,
and then it's off to LA.
Oh, my goodness!
[Rob chuckles]
Wow! That's...
that's incredible.
But the dress rehearsal's
on Saturday.
[sighs]
Well, maybe we can postpone it.
Maggie's already paid
for everything.
But... but this is it.
This is my Joe Pesci moment.
-[chuckles]
-Mm.
No, wait. Wait, Tracey.
I'm sure we can work it out.
Don't worry about it, Rob.
I'll figure something out.
No, listen, Tracey.
I'll call my agent.
We'll postpone
the wardrobe fitting.
I'll be there.
I guess that means you'll be
relocating to LA now, right?
Well, I have to for the show.
But Saturday,
I'll... I'll be there.
I... I promise.
One last performance, right?
[sighs]
[]
Hi.
TRACEY:
I feel like such a fool.
I mean, rent a groom.
The name says it all.
He plays the romantic lead
in a lot of girls' fantasies.
I mean, I hired him
to play that part.
[sighs]
[slurps]
It was fun... playing a couple.
[inhales]
I just thought it...
might become something more.
You got caught up in the show.
I don't blame you.
-Right?
-Yeah.
Well...
we just have to get
through one last performance,
and I can write him back
out of my life.
[]
Hello, Rob.
Dad.
Been a long time.
There years this May.
You all right?
Yeah. Actually, I'm really good.
You had dinner?
I'm not staying long.
Drink then.
Sure.
Thank you for coming. Take care.
So, what are you drinkin'?
Club soda's just fine for me.
Two club sodas, please.
WAITRESS:
Of course.
Listen, I didn't come here
to fight.
I came here because I wanted
to tell you two things.
Okay.
First...
I'm an actor.
I know.
I've seen
the insurance commercial.
No, no, no. Not that stuff.
A real actor. I got a part.
A lead part in a series.
It's a great part.
It's what I've been working
for my whole life.
Congratulations.
I'm happy for you.
Here's your drinks.
You are?
Of course!
All I've ever asked from you
is you work hard
for whatever it is you want.
For me, it's this place,
you know?
I was hoping the
dream could be shared.
Turned into more of a wedge.
I mean, I guess you had a right
to push me away.
-I didn't push you away.
-ARTHUR: Oh.
Three years
of the silent treatment
is not exactly a gentle nudge.
I said I didn't come here
to argue.
Well... why are you here?
I wanted to talk to you
about the ring.
-The ring?
-Yes.
Mom's ring.
Mom's ring.
I've met someone, Dad.
Mom's ring.
So, it's serious?
Yes.
I'm in love.
[Arthur chuckling]
That look on my face
when I met your mom.
You are so much like her.
You follow your heart.
Oh, she would be so proud
of you right now.
I miss her.
I miss her, too.
Just make sure
you keep following your heart.
It led you through these doors.
Looks like it led you
into someone else's heart.
So, when do I get to meet her?
Well, if all goes well,
I'll need a table for two
for Saturday night.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[mumbles, laughs]
Whoo!
[laughs]
Are you trying to set
a world record?
TODD:
I'm invincible.
You say that now.
Hi. My name's Trevor.
[grunts]
Turn that up.
ROB:
I was once just like you,
not sure which insurance plan
was right for me and my family.
But now that
I'm with Stanfield Insurance,
we all sleep better at night.
Because in life,
you just never know
when to expect the unexpected.
[car pass by]
ROB:
Stanfield Insurance.
We expect the unexpected.
Do you know that guy?
I know him, too.
Only his name ain't Trevor.
It's Brad.
See, a while back,
I was trying to get back
with my ex-girlfriend.
And then this guy shows up,
and she says
he's her fianc. Only...
yeah, he wasn't.
Turns out, she hired this guy
to act like her fianc.
[gasps]
They call it Rent-a-Groom.
You call them,
and then they show up
and ruin your life.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
[laughs]
There!
Oh, I got you. I got you.
Oh, you're going down.
You're going down!
Okay.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[door knocks]
SHELLEY:
Hey.
TRACEY:
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's the matter?
You worried about the wedding
rehearsal tomorrow?
Oh, no. Everything's perfect.
Dress was bought,
flowers are ordered.
My groom is leaving for LA.
Yeah, no.
Everything's going
according to plan.
Whoa.
You want him to stay?
I want him to want to stay.
So, you're upset because you
fell in love with him?
I fell in love with him
by mistake.
And that's his fault?
Well, now's your chance
to blast him with the truth.
He's in the boardroom
waiting for you.
Rob's here?
Yes.
Tell him, Tracey.
Well, what if it doesn't change
anything?
Well, what if it does?
ROB:
It's called Rent-a-Groom.
ARTHUR:
Rent-a-Groom?
You aren't a gigolo, are you?
Dad, no. It's not like that.
People-- well, women pay me
to pretend
to be their love interests.
ARTHUR:
But you say you quit.
This morning.
ARTHUR:
How long were you doing this?
Three years.
Three very long years.
I think I've been engaged
maybe 20 times.
And I've had some doozies.
But it's finally over.
This endless acting.
You know how hard it is
to fake being madly in love?
I mean, I'm a good actor, but,
whoo.
And then
there's engagement party.
And all her little friends.
I tell you, it's agony.
It's just this part I'm playing.
It doesn't mean anything.
And I'm tired of pretending
that it does.
I can't wait to tell her.
I'm ready for the real thing.
[sniffles, sobs]
ARTHUR:
Well, son,
I think you definitely made
the right decision.
Thanks, Dad.
And thanks for calling.
ARTHUR:
Bye, son.
[sighs, chuckles softly]
[phone rings, beeps]
ROB:
Tracey, hey.
I waited at the office.
Connie said you had to step out
to take a--
Tracey, please call me.
I'd really love to talk about--
[sobs]
ROB:
Hey, Tracey. It's Rob again.
Um, I'm not sure
if I did something to upset you.
But, uh, if we could meet--
[sniffles, sobs]
[birds cripping in background]
[indistinct chatter]
Good afternoon, folks.
And, Maggie, you look
absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you, Rob. You don't look
so bad yourself.
Oh, well, it is a special day.
[chuckles]
Have you seen Tracey?
Oh, no. Rob, it's...
bad luck to see the bride
before the wedding.
-[chuckles]
-MAGGIE: I don't think
a dress rehearsal wedding
counts, sweetheart.
She's inside.
Thank you, Maggie.
Well, we'll see you all
after the big moment. Oh.
Everything is perfect.
I couldn't have written
this better myself.
Good luck.
[indistinct chatter continues]
[door knocks]
Hey. You're not supposed
to be here.
I'm sorry, I know.
Give me that.
You look absolutely stunning.
Just getting in the costume.
I half expected you
to send a stand-in.
No. I said I'd be here,
didn't I?
Five minutes to curtain.
Can I talk to you
about something?
There you go.
Getting off script again.
No improvising, remember?
Or are you directing
this show as well?
Places, everyone.
We can't keep Maggie waiting.
Well, can we talk after?
Just hit your mark,
and say your lines.
We can wrap this whole thing up.
[birds cripping]
[indistinct chattering]
[sighs]
[Claude blows raspberry]
Oh, my goodness.
I am excited...
[chuckles]
...and nervous.
This is not my real job,
you understand?
But I have always wanted
to do this.
And when Margaret Westmoreland
asked me to preside, well--
Shh!
Hi, darling.
[kisses]
[kisses]
[chuckles softly]
-Excited?
-Mm-hmm.
CLAUDE:
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to witness the union
of Robert Jones
and Tracey Westmoreland.
[car pass by]
Marriage is a sacred bond.
A commitment to one another,
born from the seed of destiny,
nurtured with true love,
to blossom into the flower
of matrimony.
Before we proceed,
I must ask you both
if there is any impediment
to this union.
Actually, there is something
I'd like to say.
-Tracey-
-I object!
[guests gasp]
I object,
because this man is an actor.
[guests whispering]
Oh, my God. It's true.
I'm not really
a justice of the peace.
Not you, idiot. Him!
-Todd!
-His real name is
Robert J. Hollingsworth.
He works for an outfit
called Rent-a-Groom.
Tracey, what's he on about?
Tracey hired this guy
to fool Maggie.
Tracey, is this true?
Yes. It's true.
Grams, I'm so sorry.
I never meant for it
to go this far,
but now that it has,
I'm glad
this little charade is over.
Charade? Is that all
this had been to you?
Yeah, Rob.
It was just a part I'm playing.
It doesn't mean anything.
[sobs]
I'm tired of pretending
that it does.
-Hey, Tracey. Wait, wait--
-SHELLEY: No, no, no. No, no.
Wait, please.
SHELLEY:
Tray.
[sobs]
Maggie, I am so, so truly sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
The ring
that is on Tracey's hand...
it belonged to my mother.
I was gonna give it to Tracey
for real this time.
But I can see now
that that's not what she wants.
These last few days
have been filled
with a few half-truths,
but there is one thing
that is... very real.
I truly love your granddaughter.
[guests gasp]
[whimpers]
Walk away!
[gasps, groans]
Maggie! Maggie!
Maggie? Maggie? Maggie?
Give me a hand.
[abulance sirens in background]
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, Tray.
How's the new batch of jalopies?
[sighs]
[]
Any word about your grandma?
It's been two weeks
since she collapsed.
Doctors are trying
to stay optimistic, but...
I can't help thinking...
I did this.
No, Tracey. Don't say that.
I thought
it would make her happy.
I thought...
[sobs, sniffles]
[phone rings]
It's the hospital.
TRACEY:
Grandma.
[sobs]
How are you?
Ring.
Ring?
Oh, right, the prop ring.
I totally forgot about it.
Yeah. I think
I threw it in my purse.
You wanna see it? Yeah?
Okay. It should be in here
somewhere.
You're right.
I should probably mail it
back to him.
Or directly to the prop house
he got it from.
Not a prop.
It's real.
His mother's.
I don't understand.
Find his father.
Oh.
Can I help you?
Yes.
Are you Arthur Hollingsworth?
I am.
Mr. Hollingsworth, my name is...
Tracey Westmoreland.
Yes.
You look exactly
as Rob described you.
I think I have something
that belongs to you.
I've not seen that
in a long time.
Let's grab a seat.
It belonged to my wife. Lucille.
When she passed away,
Rob asked if he could have it.
He said he wanted to put it
on the finger
of the girl he loved.
I guess he found her.
I called him the day
before your dress rehearsal...
to ask him if he was sure.
That kid's never been more sure
of anything in his life.
He even quit
that Rent-a-Groom job.
He did?
That very morning.
He said they were parts
he was playing.
He was tired of pretending.
Said he wanted to make it real.
And he wanted
to make it real with you.
Can I ask you, Tracey...
why the cold feet?
I think I heard the wrong end
of that phone call earlier.
Hold onto it.
[sobs]
Thank you.
[]
Aw, sweetie.
Well, did I miss anything
while I was away?
TRACEY:
Grams.
Did you find his father?
Yes.
And the ring?
I have it.
Grams.
I never meant to hurt you.
Oh.
Listen, kiddo.
I've written enough
romance novels in my time
to know what true love
looks like.
I think I may have believed
your story
because you were falling
in love.
You can't fake that.
So, I have one question for you.
Yes?
Why are you still sitting here?
Hmm?
ALLAN:
Tracey.
I don't know
where they're shooting,
but I know they wrap today.
-Then...
-He leaves for LA.
[birds cripping]
Hi.
[]
Hi.
How did you find me?
Shelley told me you were here.
Maggie, is she all right?
She had an accident.
Right after you left
the dress rehearsal--
-Oh, no.
-She's all right.
She... she just woke up.
[chuckles]
She filled me in...
on this.
I went to see your dad.
You did?
He told me everything.
But you're still here.
The show, I thought
it went to LA.
Yeah, it did without me.
I quit.
-But, Rob--
-Tracey.
I thought this was my big break,
but I realized
over these last few days...
you...
you've been my big break all
along.
And I've been racking my brain
on the drive over here
how to play the scene
where I run across town
and find the beautiful
book editor, and tell her
how madly in love
I am with her.
I think I can help you
run some lines.
[smooches]
What do I do with this?
Hold on to it.
It'll play in the later scene.
[chuckles softly]
[giggles]
[]
[]
[]
[wind blowing]
[birds chirping in distance]
-[sighs]
-[indistinct chatter]
MAGGIE:
Isn't it magical?
[chuckles]
Sure, Grama.
Though I can't tell
if the bride's wearing
little glass slippers or not.
I bet they were
high school sweethearts.
He proposed to her on a vacation
in Paris.
The engagement ring rolled up
in a pair of his socks.
She's gonna jump off that cake,
and ride off on a pumpkin
any minute.
[chuckles]
WAITER:
Oh. Hmm.
I've always loved this place.
They do such wonderful
little weddings here.
I remember when your dad
married your mom.
He was so nervous.
I had to tie his bow tie
for him.
[chuckles]
I guess that's one good thing
about having a bum ticker
at my age.
I'll be seeing them both soon.
Grams, please don't talk
like that.
Allan does take good care of me.
He's probably back home,
mixing up my dinner hour
medicinal cocktail right now.
That should buy me
a few more hours.
Save the dramatics
for your readers.
I'd always imagined
I'd keel over at my typewriter.
You still have a typewriter?
Still, it isn't how you die.
-It's how you live.
-Hmm.
MAGGIE:
I'm proud of my writing.
I'm glad I was able to bring
some happiness to some people.
Even if were a little corny.
Hey.
You are still
Barmont publishing's
number one author.
And I'm most thankful for that.
But I'm most proud
of my granddaughter.
Honey.
I know
it hasn't always been easy
living with a substitute mom
who spent more time with
imaginary heiresses
and farm hands,
and less time at school plays
and birthday parties.
With Mom and Dad gone,
you had to be a mom twice.
Still.
[indistinct chattering]
There is one thing
I'd like to see before I go.
Okay, Grams. Come on.
We are not having the marriage
discussion again, are we?
It isn't about marriage.
It's about your happiness.
Whether you're married or not,
I just wanna leave knowing
that you're with someone.
I don't want to have
this conversation.
Not now.
You can't plot out my life
like one of your stories, Grama.
[gasps, groans]
Grams. Grama!
-Are you okay?
-[groans]
-Pills.
-Pills!
[groans]
-TRACEY: Here, here!
-[groans]
I just want you to be happy.
Grams, I'm happy!
Take your pill.
With someone.
I... I... I am. I have.
Please. Your pill.
[whimpers]
I'm engaged.
[gasps]
-MAGGIE: Really?
-I was gonna surprise you today.
I'm engaged.
Does he make you happy?
Yes, so happy.
Mrs. Westmoreland.
Is everything all right?
I think so.
Grams?
I think I'll just get her home.
[]
I'm so sorry.
I should have been there.
No, no, no, no, Allan.
It was a girls' day out.
-Mm.
-MAGGIE: Mm-hmm.
ALLAN:
All right, come on.
Margaret Westmoreland.
What are we going to do
with you?
[groans]
-You okay?
-Mm-hmm.
You are grounded, young lady.
I'm all right.
Really. I'm all right.
TRACIE:
No, Allan.
It's okay. I got her.
I'll go steep the tea.
TRACEY:
Let's get you inside.
MAGGIE:
Mm.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I upset you.
Oh, Grams, no.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I upset you,
and you can't afford
to get upset.
I'm all right now.
Okay.
I have to go.
Wait. You're engaged?
Yeah, Grams. I'm engaged.
I'm happy for you.
Me too. I'll talk to you soon.
I want to meet him.
ALLEN:
I got it. See you, sweetie.
[indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing in background]
SHELLEY:
Hey, Tray. Shall we get right
to the morning madness?
First book is a new one
from Gardner.
TRACEY:
Sci-fi, historical fiction,
satire hybrid?
-CONNIE: Good morning, Tracey.
-Yes.
Carl wants you to fix
its identity crisis.
Tracey? Tracey.
Carl wanted me
to give this to you.
Okay. Thank you, Connie.
Next, is the Cartwell Saga.
Carl wants you to turn
this epic into a novella.
Take it to the chop shop,
and get the blow torch out.
Hey. I'm just the one
who brings you the jalopies.
You're the one
who makes them run.
How's your grandmother?
Yeah. They're still
not really sure.
The doctors say
she's getting worse.
Could be weeks, could be days.
Oh, Tracey, I'm so sorry.
TRACEY:
Yeah.
Though she did perk up
a little bit
after pressing me
on my love life.
SHELLEY:
Oh?
No, nothing to tell. Just...
A little white lie?
-Yeah.
-Nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes, telling people
what they wanna hear
can be the best medicine.
Yeah. Maybe.
And tell her we all miss her.
This place has been
pretty gloomy
these last few months.
Okay.
SHELLEY:
Bring it in.
Mm, thank you.
My pleasure, my treasure.
Yeah.
Oh, I need a coffee.
[indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing]
[exhales] Okay.
[clears throat]
Tracey Westmoreland.
ALLAN:
Tracey? It's Allan.
Allan? Oh, my God.
What's... what's happened?
ALLAN:
Your grandmother made tea.
What? What do you mean?
ALLAN:
The other day
when you came to visit,
what did you talk about?
Oh, Allan, I'm sorry.
We got on the marriage
discussion again.
I think I may have upset her.
ALLAN:
You may have just cured her.
Like I said, she walked
to the kitchen this morning.
Completely unassisted?
ALLAN:
And made tea for two!
Wedge of lemon,
the good China.
Oh, glorious!
And the doctors were here.
They say she's responding
to her medication much better.
You... you're kidding.
That's... that's great!
ALLAN:
Great?
It's a full-on miracle!
We are talkin' Holy Ghost power
over here.
Then she told me
of another little miracle.
She said she's going
to meet a man in your life?
You know,
I'm not one to be morbid,
but I think it's wonderful
that you want
your grandmother's last days
to be filled with joy
by having found joy yourself.
Oh, you're an absolute angel!
[chuckles awkwardly]
ALLAN:
You know, if I weren't married,
I'd snap you up myself.
Mm. But I guess Hector
would have something to say
about that.
Thanks, Allan. I gotta go.
Can you give my love to Grams?
ALLAN:
I will. See you, sweetie!
See ya.
[]
[keyboard clicking]
[]
You must be Tracey.
Mm.
Rob Humphries.
You look exactly
like your picture.
It's great to meet you.
-TRACEY: Please.
-May I?
Okay.
[Tracey chuckles]
So, uh,
tell me about the service.
ROB:
Right.
Well, Rent-a-Groom deploys
folks like me
for all kinds of circumstances.
Jealous friends, creepy bosses,
amorous coworkers.
We can play boyfriends,
long-lost loves,
right up to full-on fiancs.
Once, I actually played
an overbearing older brother.
Uh, Humphries.
That's your...
that's your last name?
Actually, it's a stage name.
I'm a-- I'm an actor.
And a fan of Casablanca.
I took the name from Bogey.
-Humphrey.
-Bogart. I get it.
[chuckles]
Well, I hope you're a fan
of Raiders of the Lost Ark,
because I'm changing your name
to Jones.
[chuckles] Okay. Uh, great.
Well, usually, the agency
supplies the back story,
but I can see you have a very
thick folder there.
Mister Humphries.
Not Jones.
Rob.
I have created
a complete character profile
including a modest job
at a junior accounting firm
and a cabin in the mountains.
May I?
[chuckles]
Wow.
There are tabs if you...
Rob Jones it is.
I can live with that
the few days
we'll be working together.
Although, I don't expect you
to memorize everything.
I'll be there, of course,
to keep you on track.
I just--
I need attention to detail.
[chuckles]
Okay.
I mean, I love this stuff.
Sounds like fun actually.
Mr. Humphries-- Uh, Mr. Jones.
I wanna be clear with you.
I need this
to go by the numbers,
and in an expeditious manner.
Right. Of course.
Okay.
Do you know
who Margaret Westmoreland is?
The romance writer.
The Cassandra Robards series.
My mom used to read those
when I was a kid.
She loved them.
TRACEY:
Hmm.
Ah. Wait. Westmoreland.
Are you related to her?
She is my grandmother, yes.
You kidding me?
-TRACEY: No.
-Wow. Wow. Your grandmother.
Yes.
She is, um...
she's very ill.
Oh, gosh. I'm...
so sorry to hear that.
My parents died
when I was very young.
And Maggie raised me by herself.
Sounds like a--
like an incredible lady.
Well, ever since
I was a little girl,
she one day dreamed
of walking me down the aisle
to marry Mr. Right.
This is Mr. Right.
-Oh.
-With her illness,
she won't be there
for the wedding day.
This is about a couple of weeks
of joy.
She needs to believe completely
in this engagement.
Absolutely.
I assure you,
I will not let you down.
So, when do we start?
Tomorrow...
at my grandmother's house.
[exhales sharply]
[door knocking]
Yep?
How is Barmont Publishing's
greatest fixer this morning?
You know, got my head
under the hood of another one.
Ah, well, that's the problem
when you're the best
at something.
You get stuck there. [chuckles]
-Believe me, I know.
-TRACEY: Mm.
Sounds like
you could use a break.
Let me take you to lunch.
I'm afraid it's leftovers
at the desk for me again today.
TODD:
Mm. Dinner it is then.
In fact, I think it's about time
we popped the cord on that Dom.
I got a good feeling
about this sci-fi series.
I can't.
Hey. Listen.
It was one date.
-It was a mistake.
-I had a great time.
It's not what I mean, Todd.
-We work together.
-I agree.
We work very well together
in fact.
TRACEY:
Exactly.
And I would like to keep it
that way.
One drink. Call it a do-over.
I'm going to my grandmother's
house tonight.
Right.
Of course.
[clears throat]
How is Maggie doing?
Better surprisingly.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
That is good to hear.
Good to hear.
Amazing to think
that this whole company
started with her first
Cassandra novel 30 years ago.
Thirty-one actually.
TODD:
Yep.
Everything's gonna change
around here
once I get
the editor-in-chief position.
Hey, but don't worry.
Nothing's gonna change
between you and I.
I need Barmont's best fixer
on my team.
[clicks tongue]
Mm. Okay.
All right. Well... [exhales]
...back to makin' millions.
[chuckles]
Just kidding.
I do pretty well, though.
And, uh... give your grandmother
my best, okay?
You got it.
Can you close my door, Todd,
please? Todd--
TODD:
Janice! How the heck are ya?
[dog barking in distance]
Okay. Thank you. [chuckles]
Are you ready?
-Ready.
-Okay.
[foot falling]
Right. Engaged.
[door bell]
[foot falling]
Sweetie!
TRACEY:
Hi, Allan.
Good evening. I'm...
An absolute dream boat.
[chuckles]
ALLAN:
Get in here.
Welcome.
TRACEY:
Thank you, Allan.
ROB:
Thank you.
ALLAN:
Make yourselves comfortable.
I'll just be in the kitchen
eavesdropping.
[Tracey chuckles]
[gasps]
MAGGIE:
Cassandra Robards.
Appointment with Destiny.
Grams.
It was my mom's favorite
in the series.
Mine, too!
I had all the framed covers
at the old house.
But it seemed a little vain
to put up 20 books.
I figured one would do.
It's a good one.
Oh!
[chuckles]
It's so nice
to finally meet you, Rob.
It's an honor to meet you, Mrs--
Maggie. Call me Maggie.
Maggie.
Hi.
Grams, I mean... you look great!
I feel pretty great, too, kiddo.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
This way.
[chuckles softly]
ALLEN:
Tea, anyone?
MAGGIE:
Thank you, Allen.
ALLEN:
Of course.
Don't forget your little pair
of teeth, my sweet.
MAGGIE:
Mm-hmm.
Cheers.
I'll be upstairs,
watching my little murder shows
for a while.
You kids have fun.
I hope you like Earl Grey.
Mm-mm! My favorite.
Help yourself to the strudel.
I baked it fresh this afternoon.
You baked strudel?
MAGGIE:
Of course.
That's funny.
I don't remember
so much as a single cupcake
on any one of my birthdays.
ROB:
Thank you.
I pulled it out of the archives.
I found this wonderful,
old Austrian recipe
for pear strudel
when I was doing research
for book four.
One Vienna Summer.
Yes. You read it.
Well, over my mom's shoulder.
Impeccable taste, both of you.
So, your folks,
they'll be coming
to the wedding?
My mom has passed.
And my dad, well,
he's not really in the picture.
MAGGIE:
I'm sorry to hear
about your mother.
I understand
what that kind of loss means.
Thank you.
I know she would
have loved Tracey.
And she would've been thrilled
to be in-laws
with the great
Margaret Westmoreland.
[chuckles]
Charming fellow.
Wherever did you find him?
Well, Rob's accounting firm
does some consulting
for the publishing company.
Hmm.
TRACEY:
One day, we just kind of fell
into each other's arms.
Fell? More like crashed.
[chuckles]
The ski hill didn't look
quite so steep from the bottom.
-Ski hill?
-ROB: Hmm.
When did you take up skiing?
[splutters] I--
Whitefish. March.
A beautiful time of year.
You know, I think
it was the early morning glare
off the white mountain caps.
First run of the day.
Pristine powder.
Nothing but the sound
of the wind through the trees.
Just...
[imitates wind whooshing]
Oh, my goodness.
I was racing down the mountain.
The Arctic chill at my back.
And nothing but virgin snow
before me.
As I rounded a bend, a...
a mother deer and her fawn.
I swerved to avoid them,
and then I was in the trees.
[pants] Miraculously,
I survived the Alpine chaos,
just to run straight into a pack
of spring break skiers.
I'm a ball of bindings
and goggles.
And when I finally came to rest,
I looked up, and I...
I saw an angel.
Oh, my goodness. Tracey!
Why didn't you tell me
about this?
It was just a work thing,
you know?
[chuckles]
-Team building.
-Mm.
Hmm.
-ROB: Hmm.
-So, she rescued you?
[chuckles]
It's perfect.
-Yes.
-Perfect.
[chuckles softly]
The, uh... the, uh,
consulting came later.
You don't speak
like an accountant.
[chuckles]
Hmm.
I'm gonna refill the teapot.
Rob...
darling, how about a tour
of the kitchen?
Of course, my love.
[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Let's go right now.
What on earth are you doing?
Oh, just a little improvising.
Improvising?
Oh, come on, Tracey.
This is Margaret Westmoreland.
She doesn't want tax returns
and office parties.
Okay. Listen, Rob.
[chuckles]
I'm not paying you
to be James Bond,
or Heathcliff,
or the king of Siam.
I'm paying you
to be Robert Jones,
accountant, and my fianc.
If you could just stick
to the script for the next hour,
we can wrap this up,
and both get back
to our own lives.
Okay?
Understood. I apologize.
It won't happen again.
Okay.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
MAGGIE:
"Young man,
you're simply too short."
MAGGIE:
He pops
on the casting director's
high heel shoes,
turns to me, and said,
"How do you like me now?"
[laughs]
Unbelievable!
I didn't realize
you had a say in casting.
How many of your books
did they adapt?
Oh, I don't know.
A dozen, I think.
Simply amazing.
Well, we could listen
to Grama's old Hollywood stories
all night long, but...
we should probably let you
get some rest.
Nonsense!
I was thinking of putting
some music on.
Perhaps finding out if this
young man knows how to tango.
Mm.
Tracey's probably right.
I got two left feet anyway.
[chuckles]
Happy wife, happy life, huh?
Indeed.
MAGGIE:
Well, I can certainly see that.
I may not be here for the day--
Grams, come on.
But I will rest easy,
knowing she's happy.
[kisses]
-MAGGIE: Thank you.
-Thank you.
-MAGGIE: Goodbye, darling.
-Mm.
[kisses]
Okay.
I'll talk to you tomorrow,
Grams, okay?
MAGGIE:
Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
TRACEY:
Someone's birthday?
[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Oh, no.
I didn't think
you were the marrying type.
Carl. Well--
Oh, I can't wait to meet him
at the engagement party.
Engagement party?
-CARL: Yeah.
-What?
Who said anything
about an engagement party?
Your grandmother.
Yeah, she called me last night.
Maggie called you?
CARL:
Yeah. She told me everything.
I just think
it's wonderful, Tracey!
I haven't heard her
that happy in...
[sighs]
CARL:
...years.
I, for one, think
this is great news.
It's like the whole office
is ecstatic.
Oh. It's exactly
what we all needed.
Just to see Maggie again.
Oh! Oh!
You couldn't have planned it
any better.
Hey, girlfriend.
How come your best friend
is the last person
to hear about all this? Hmm?
Come here.
SHELLEY:
Who's question mark?
TRACEY:
Get in here!
SHELLEY:
Ouch.
[door closes]
Okay. I'm not engaged.
What?
What are you talking about?
It's all over the office.
I hired a guy.
Okay, what?
TRACEY:
No, no. Not like that.
My grandmother is dying.
Don't say that!
TRACEY:
It's the truth, Shelley.
I went to go see her last week.
We got on the marriage argument
again.
She just about keeled over
right there.
I panicked, and I blurted out
that I'm engaged.
SHELLEY:
You lied to your grandmother?
I tried to tell you.
And you said all that stuff
about white lies
and good medicine.
Well, that's a little more
grey than white.
Yeah. Well, then she wanted
to meet him.
So, I called
this rent-a-groom place.
Rent a groom?
I'll explain later.
But just...
you can't tell anyone.
Please, Shelley--
Okay, okay. I get it.
TRACEY:
Okay, look.
As far as this office
is concerned,
this engagement is real.
All right.
I'll play along
for Maggie's sake.
I just hope you know
what you're doing.
So do I.
So, is he cute?
I'm going through changes
It's going faster...
TRACEY:
I'm sorry.
I'm sure
this will be the last time.
I just--
I need you there tonight.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
The whole office?
So, we have a full house
tonight.
It's just a quick, little thing
at a restaurant.
Ah, Dinner Theatre.
The blue rinse crowd.
Try the buffet. Got it.
I need you
on your best behavior.
No improv, right?
Tax returns all the way.
Okay.
So, tonight, eight o'clock,
Hollingsworth's.
Um, no. No.
So, we... we...
we can't go there.
I used to work there.
It's her favorite place.
Well, someone will recognize me.
It'll blow my cover for sure.
You're that famous, huh?
[chuckles]
There's this great little
French bistro, Annabelle's,
over on the East Side.
Tell her
it was our first date place.
She'll love it.
You are creative.
I will give you that.
Just a little improvising.
[scoffs softly]
All right.
I'll make the arrangements.
Just make sure
you pick me up on time.
Haven't missed
a curtain call yet.
[]
[door opens and closes]
[clears throat]
ROB:
You look lovely.
Thank you.
You look lovely, too.
A lovely couple then.
Well, gotta look the part,
right?
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
Like you said,
"Gotta look the part, right?"
[chuckles]
ROB:
It's on loan from a...
a good friend.
I get it.
It's a... it's a prop.
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Tracey chuckles]
Something like that.
Try it on.
There. Now, we both
have our motivation
for the next scene.
[foot falling]
TRACEY:
Thank you. [chuckles]
[engine revving]
[Allan chuckles]
[Maggie chuckles]
MAGGIE:
I'm so excited.
Oh, really?
MAGGIE:
There they are.
[car door closes]
MAGGIE:
You look breathtaking!
She's all yours.
[kisses]
Um, Grams.
Where did this new wardrobe
come from?
MAGGIE:
This old frock?
I wore it to my last
book signing in New York.
I'm pulling out all the stops.
Maggie, you look heavenly.
Aw.
Speaking of,
this Annabelle gal...
I'm sorry
about the last-minute switch.
Oh, not at all.
I've been going
to Hollingsworth's for years.
And this place,
talk about enchanted.
Wherever did you find it?
Sometimes, you just stumble
upon something,
and you... you fall in love.
[chuckles]
[grunts softly]
Well, if the house sparkling
is any indication,
it's love at first sight.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
Such a gentleman.
[breathes deeply]
MAGGIE:
This is lovely.
[indistinct lyrics
in backgrouund]
ROB:
Oh, here, let me.
TRACEY:
Just two red wines, please.
Uh, thank you.
-Maggie.
-Thank you.
Yes, yes, yes.
[glass clicking]
Ladies and gentlemen.
It gives me great pleasure
to introduce to you
my granddaughter Tracey
and her fianc Rob.
[clapping]
I've written many stories
in my time.
And I've sent many characters
on wile adventures,
looking for love.
But it's often when we stop
searching for something
that we find it.
So, I'd like to propose a toast.
To letting love find you.
[glass clicking]
-Here.
-Thank you.
ROB:
I think you could use a drink.
-Yeah.
-[Shelley clears throat]
The mystery man at last.
Shelley.
This is my fianc, Rob.
Rob, this is my best friend,
Shelley.
The one with the big mouth.
I've heard all about you.
I didn't know accountants
were so good-looking.
-Uh, Shelley, dear.
-[chuckles]
I don't think
this fine restaurant
wants to be the scene
of a murder tonight.
Oh, my good God!
TRACEY:
What?
This ring.
It's enough to make a girl weak
in the knees.
It's just a prop.
It could've fooled me.
Yes. Well, maybe you should go
rest your weak knees.
Keep your mouth shut, okay?
Don't worry about me.
I'll keep my mouth shut.
Listen, are you available
the next couple of weeks?
I have this ex-boyfriend
I wanna drive crazy--
Shelley!
Okay.
SHELLEY:
Hi!
TODD:
Hey, Shelley.
SHELLEY:
They invited you.
What was that about?
She knows.
Knows what? [chuckles]
Tracey, you look...
[blows kiss] ...delicious.
-Okay.
-Todd. This is my fianc, Rob.
Rob.
ROB:
Mm.
[sighs]
It is truly an honor
to meet the man
who, uh, melted
the ice queen's heart.
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
So, seriously, how'd you do it?
No, no. Let me guess.
You're a crown prince,
heir to the throne of Moravia,
and, uh,
gave it all up for love.
ROB:
No. Afraid not.
Oh, well, I got it.
You are a secret agent,
masquerading
as an international playboy.
You're hiding here until
the heat blows over, and
Tracey here is your cover.
[chuckles]
That sounds a lot like the plot
to my third novel, Todd.
[chuckles]
You wanna be careful
I don't sue you for plagiarism.
[chuckles] Oh, Maggie.
May I just say on behalf
of the entire
Barmont Publishing family
how truly honored it is
to have you here this evening,
and looking so radiant.
Why, thank you, Todd.
Perhaps I'll have you deliver
my eulogy.
Maggie...
don't even talk like that.
Of course, I'd be honored
to, uh, read at your funeral--
Cool your jets, Todd.
I'll probably screw
everything up,
and outlive all of you.
[laughs]
Oh, Maggie.
Dinner is served.
Yum. [chuckles]
[whistles]
ROB:
I guess I've always
had a thing for numbers.
A passion really.
And most kids hate the idea
that math is all around us.
It's in the portions of food
on your dinner plate.
The number of friends and family
you can sit around the table.
The number of beats per minute
of the heart of a man
madly in love.
Well, there's...
there's a pureness to math.
And a beauty.
You know, a certain completeness
in combination.
The sum is greater
than its parts.
You sure don't talk
like an accountant.
[laughs] Accountant, right.
I still like
the international playboy angle.
Nope. Numbers guy.
[laughs] Oh, okay, Mr. Einstein.
Hey, Rob,
what firm did you say
you were working for again?
Robinson & Younger.
TODD:
Is that right?
You know, I think I know
a couple of guys over there.
What's the manager's name again?
Let's not bore the party with--
Roger. Roger McLaren.
Roger. Right. Right.
So, he would know you.
ROB:
That's highly unlikely.
They don't let me
out of the cellar very often.
-[chuckles]
-[chuckles]
[laughs]
No. To be honest,
I haven't had much of a chance
to mingle since transferring
here from Chicago.
Oh, sure, sure.
Of course, of course.
But you've been doing some
consulting with our company.
Did you know that, Carl?
Oh. I don't really handle
the books.
Oh, yes.
Anyone actually seen this guy?
SHELLEY:
Of course, Todd.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I've corresponded with Rob
a couple of times.
I just never made
the romantic connection.
Chicago.
Is that where you're from?
Yes. Born and raised.
I... I grew up
around restaurants actually.
My dad started out as a waiter
at a little French place
just like this.
An engagement party
would break his heart.
Really?
ROB:
Oh, sure.
He'd say, "There's one less
bachelor come here to eat
every night."
-[chuckles]
-[Shelley chuckling]
He was a little old-fashioned.
I see.
After my mom died,
he decided to open up
a little place of his own.
He did all right.
But I saw the toll
it took on him.
Being the face of a business,
it's hard on family life.
People don't wanna see
the waiters.
They wanna see you.
He was hoping that he'd hand
the whole thing over to me,
but...
I went a different direction.
Into the exciting world
of numbers.
[laughs]
Yeah. Yeah, something like that.
[chuckles]
But now, I'm...
I'm ready for a new journey.
I... I don't know
if it was the moonlight,
reflecting off the pool
that lit up her eyes
when I first saw them.
Pool?
I thought you were skiing.
Skiing?
The... the pool came
after the skiing.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right.
TRACEY:
We, um...
I would just like
to thank you all for being here
this evening.
This is as much for my
grandmother as it is for us.
Thank you, both of you.
[chuckles]
And with that, I'm afraid
we must bid you all adieu.
ROB:
Mm.
Okay.
Darling, shall we?
Of course.
[clapping]
-TRACEY: Okay.
-Nice to meet you all.
-SHELLEY: Bye.
-And nice to meet you, Robert.
ROB:
Todd.
What did I say
about improvising?
The pool was a little slip.
A little slip.
I just though we needed
to get back
to the romantic stuff.
[sighs]
Oh, come on.
The crowd was loving it.
Hmm.
I guess it did go over well.
Thank you for the save
on the accounting manager.
I did not have that
in the character profile.
-Hey. I did my research.
-Okay.
[Todd laughs]
-Tracey.
-Todd.
-Numbers guy.
-Hi.
-[laughs]
-[chuckles]
Thanks for coming, Todd.
It was a pleasure.
You could've warned me
about Todd.
I'm sorry.
Such a lovely evening.
So, what have you planned
for the wedding?
I know Claude very well
at the Somerset Tea House.
It's such a romantic place.
-It'd be perfect!
-TRACEY: Mm.
We were thinking of keeping it
a small affair.
Justice of the peace
and a few friends.
Hmm.
I see.
Well, I guess it shouldn't
matter to me anyway.
Well, it wouldn't hurt us
just to look at the place.
Oh, bless you, darling.
I was hoping
that you would say that.
Allan and I can meet you there
tomorrow at noon.
We'd be delighted.
Delighted.
Very well.
Onward, driver.
ALLAN:
But, of course, mademoiselle.
I'll see you later!
-Love you.
-MAGGIE: Love you, sweetie.
[Allan chuckling]
[door bell clicks]
What was that?
This was supposed to be it.
A couple weeks of joy.
That's what you said.
I'm game if you are.
I'll even give you a discount.
A discount.
No skiing or pool stories,
all right?
Yes, dear.
Don't "Yes, dear" me, Rob Jones.
[chuckles]
[]
[door bell rings]
Good morning.
Hi.
Two milk, one sweetener, right?
Yeah.
How did you know that?
Attention to detail.
[chuckles]
What are you doing here?
I thought we'd do
a little acting exercise.
-Get in the character.
-A what?
Come on. Get your coat.
Trust me, you'll love it.
TRACEY:
Okay.
[chuckles]
Can you tell me
where we're going?
[chuckles]
ROB:
Trust me.
Okay.
ROB:
I had this bit part
on this Western TV show
a few years back.
TRACEY:
Mm-hmm.
ROB:
I played this juggler
in this traveling group
of performers.
I had two lines.
"The show must go on."
And "Pardon me, ma'am,
but I do believe your cow
just ate
one of my juggling clubs.
[giggles]
[chuckles]
I had three minutes
of screen time,
but I took three days,
and I developed
this... this whole backstory
for this juggler.
-Backstory?
-Yeah.
Like, well, how did he end up
with this motley crew?
And did he come
from a long line of jugglers?
Or did he earn a degree
in projectile throwing
from a prestigious
juggling university?
I... I even gave him
this slight Swedish accent.
[chuckles]
ROB:
I figured he grew up juggling
pickled herrings.
TRACEY:
Oh, wow.
ROB:
It's called an origin story.
You see, even though
I only had a couple of lines
and a... a few minutes'
screen time,
the backstory made
the character
more... more real, more...
more alive.
Even if you did stink
of herring.
[chuckles]
Like, what about us, huh?
What's our origin story?
Oh. I think you rolled that out
with your skiing-slash-
pool party gig.
Yeah. That's how we met,
but who are we?
Tell me about
this Rob Jones guy.
What attracted you to him?
Uh, the usual things.
He's honest, hard working.
Sensible shoes.
Sounds like a real
prince charming.
[chuckles]
He, um...
he has a nice smile.
Really? [chuckles]
Mm-hmm.
And, um,
a chihuahua named Louie.
Yes. Now, we're talkin'!
[chuckles]
Okay. Well, what about this
Tracey Westmoreland character?
Hmm?
Let's see.
She... she does wear
sensible shoes.
[chuckles]
But she's also got
this gorgeous red pair
of patent leather heels
that she wears
for special occasions.
She works as an editor
at a publishing firm,
but she secretly wants to start
a hippie commune in Oregon.
I did spend a lot of time
wandering the wilderness
in my... in my youth.
After my parents died, I, um...
I closed myself off
a little I guess.
My grandmother was great.
I mean...
she just lost her son
and her daughter-in-law, but...
she stepped right in...
with... unconditional love
for a sad and angry
12-year-old girl.
We should... we should probably
get back to port.
Don't wanna be late
for the ball.
Listen, Tracey,
I... I wanted tell you...
when I was telling about my mom
last night, I...
I meant no offense
to your folks.
It's all right, Rob. I know.
Sometimes life is a series of...
half truths.
I know.
Maybe Rob Jones knows
a little bit more about life
than just sensible shoes.
Maybe.
He... he does know
what it's like to be a...
a sad and an angry little kid.
My mom really did die...
when I was nine.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Come on.
I don't wanna leave Maggie
standing at the altar.
CLAUDE:
Good morning. And welcome
to the Somerset Tea House.
Are you here for tea or a tour?
We're meeting someone
for a tour.
Oh. Forgive me.
It's Tracey, isn't it?
TRACEY:
Yeah.
CLAUDE:
Oh, my. Your grandmother.
How is she?
Better.
We're meeting her here.
And you're considering
having your ceremony here?
[gasps]
Wonderful!
It's just a tour.
Well...
[sighs]
...may I be so bold
as to confess
that your love for one another
simply radiates
from your very beings?
[chuckles]
It's that obvious, huh?
-Good morning, lovers!
-Good morning, lovers!
ROB:
Maggie.
MAGGIE:
My little dance routine
last night reminded me
I still need my wheels
now and then.
-Mm.
-TRACEY: Mm.
Hello, Claude.
Oh, Mrs. Westmoreland.
May I say what an honor it is
for us to host you.
This will be an event
to remember.
It's just a tour.
Wonderful!
Feel free to make yourselves
at home.
Roam the grounds
at your leisure.
We can't wait to help you
celebrate your magical day!
Well, we're just heading up
for another service
this afternoon.
I will be in the event room
if you have any questions.
Right.
Let's go out into the sunshine.
Onward, driver.
[chuckles] But, of course,
mademoiselle.
Wonderful.
[chuckles]
MAGGIE:
It's beautiful.
Simply beautiful.
ALLEN:
It certainly is.
MAGGIE:
Would you two kids mind
doing me a favor?
TRACEY:
What's that, Grams?
Could you just stand over there?
You know, so I could just take
a picture.
Grama, really?
Maggie, we'd be delighted.
[sighs]
[hums]
-Stop it.
-[chuckles]
TRACEY:
Well, here we at.
-EVENT PLANNER 1: It's Chad.
-It really is quite magical.
[chuckles] Yeah, wish I could do
a disappearing trick right now.
ROB:
Smile.
TRACEY:
Mm.
EVENT PLANNER 2:
Oh, my God. It is him.
[event planner chuckling]
I'm so embarrassed.
-ROB: Oh.
-But I just had to meet you.
[giggles]
Are you coming back
for a second season?
Second season of what?
EVENT PLANNER 1:
Sinners of the City. [gasps]
Chad the mechanic!
Ladies, I'm sorry.
I'm not... I'm not
who you think I am.
You were so sexy.
EVENT PLANNER 1:
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
I'm not who you think I am.
[shrieks]
[Rob grunts]
[event planner 2 squealing]
ROB:
Ladies, ladies.
EVENT PLANNER 1:
You were so...
[shrieks]
[screams]
[giggles]
ROB:
Ladies, please. Please.
[both giggles]
[speaks indistinctly]
EVENT PLANNER 2:
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
[event planners squealing]
TRACEY:
Sinners of the City?
It was a bit part.
A terrible show
a couple years back.
I totally forgot about it.
Well, let's hope we don't run
into anymore "Chad" fans.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at this chair.
This is incredible.
Hello. May I?
-Really?
-Yeah.
-I got it.
-No, I got it.
-I got it!
-I got it.
-Oh, you got it.
-Thank you.
Oh, and it goes backwards,
are you kidding me?
ALLEN:
Careful.
ROB:
Let's really take this
for a spin.
Let's get the cars.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
TRACEY:
It's okay. Let's go.
He does this every day.
ALLEN:
What?
TRACEY:
Yeah. He, like, volunteers.
And this I believe
is your stop, my lady?
Let's get in the car.
-ALLEN: So comfortable.
-TRACEY: Okay.
-ROB: Ooh!
-Slowly.
Oh.
-ALLEN: Ah, yeah.
-MAGGIE: Uh-huh.
ALLEN:
Uh-huh.
[Maggie groans]
Well, all right, sweetie.
I'll call you.
I'd like to have you both
over for dinner again soon.
Maximize my time with you.
Sounds good, Grams.
Feet in.
Take care, Tracey.
[Tracey chuckles]
And, Rob.
I kinda wanna call you Chad now.
[both laughs]
Chad!
You can't-- get outta here.
ROB:
I totally forgot about that.
It wasn't supposed to come out
till next week.
TRACEY:
So, you model as well?
Oh. Thank God they haven't seen
the commercial.
An ad campaign and a commercial!
Are they spinning this
into a mini-series as well?
[chuckles]
Do you have any sunglasses?
ROB:
What for?
To hide your face?
Look, I'm a working actor.
What am I supposed to do?
I'm not responsible for reruns
and ad campaigns.
I just don't like surprises.
ROB:
Well, it's been a while
since I've to submit a resum
for a job,
but I can assure you
it's a rambling list
of corny commercials
and cop number two guys.
I can't help it
if Chad the mechanic pops up
every once in a while.
[groans]
Lisen, um...
I really do appreciate
everything you're doing
for my grandmother.
I know this must be tough
for you.
But if you need me,
I'll be there...
for both of you.
[chuckles softly]
Hold onto it... for now.
[chuckles]
Thanks, Rob.
[foot falling]
[indistinct chatter]
TODD:
Hey! There's little miss fix it.
Hello, Todd.
How was your hangover?
TODD:
It was great.
Thank you for asking.
How was the weekend
with the crown prince?
He's an accountant.
TODD:
Oh, right!
I'm sorry I keep forgetting.
You know what's weird
is I actually phoned over
to Robinson & Younger,
and they've never heard
of a Rob Jones.
I'm sure if someone were to call
Barmont Publishing
and ask for a Todd Pearlman,
they might get
a similar response.
[chuckles softly]
That's not true.
Look, maybe I don't wanna see
you get hurt, okay?
I think you're makin'
a big mistake.
Okay. He's an accountant
you like numbers, okay?
I get it.
But I know numbers, you know?
I-- what number am I thinking
about right now?
One.
Lucky guess.
See, we're succinct. We're--
Todd.
This has been super fun.
Tracey, I can give you numbers.
TODD:
Trace?
[sighs]
TODD:
Shelley, did you miss me?
[]
[keyboard clicking]
Got some beaters
for our in-house grease monkey.
Hello, Miss Miracle Worker!
Got some clunkers,
and they're out of gas.
He was telling the truth.
Come again.
Rob.
He was telling the truth
about his upbringing in Chicago.
Oh, yeah?
Wow. He is prolific.
Is Chad the mechanic on there?
I don't know.
But look at this.
Look at his bio.
Born in Chicago.
Mom died when he was very young.
Raised by his father,
and like most aspiring actors,
he waited tables.
Mm-hmm.
He was telling the truth.
[clears throat]
What?
You're falling for this guy.
What? No, of course, not.
[scoffs] No.
Yes, you are.
I've never seen you look
at a real guy like that,
let alone a picture of one.
Don't be ridiculous.
I'll admit he's... he's cute.
[chuckles]
He definitely looks the part.
I'll give him that.
He's an actor after all.
So?
I'm just saying,
you can't believe everything
you read on the web,
especially on an actor's bio.
He's actually very sweet, too.
True. He's a real Romeo.
And you make a great Juliet.
Stop.
O Romeo, Romeo.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Deny thy father
and refuse thy name.
Not a lot of people know
the next line of that speech.
Classically trained.
Sorry,
I was in the neighborhood.
Can I take you for lunch?
I wanna ask you something.
[clears throat]
That's up to her! [laughs]
SHELLEY:
I could eat, but whatever.
Okay, bye-bye.
Yeah, yeah.
I... I would love to eat.
I'll just get my bag.
[door closes]
[indistinct lyrics]
[indistinct chatter]
TRACEY:
Can I ask you something?
Shoot.
Are you really from Chicago?
I am.
So, the other night
at the party
when you were talking
about your past,
your mom and dad...
were you telling the truth?
I was.
I just figured
it was easier that way.
[chuckles]
I realized I might have been
going off script, but it just...
it felt right.
Honestly, it was... it was nice.
[chuckles]
See, sometimes,
acting's all about improvising.
[chuckles]
If things change, then you...
you roll with it.
TRACEY:
Mm.
And if your partner
has a great idea,
you go with it.
It's called... chemistry.
Hmm.
Like Laurel and Hardy,
or Newman and Redford.
Bogey and Bacall.
[chuckles]
Exactly.
So, what did you...
what did you wanna ask me?
I just wanted float
something past you.
I mean, you have this knack
for problem-solving.
Mm-hmm.
They don't call me
the fix-it gal for nothing.
[Rob chuckles]
Even if it's crazy,
and it doesn't make any sense?
But when you think about it,
it kinda does?
Yeah. I mean,
life is crazy, right?
A lot of things in life don't,
I mean, make sense.
Okay. Here goes.
I'm going to be a dad...
I hope.
What?
In a streaming series. A part.
Oh!
My agent just called.
They wanna see an audition tape.
It's a tiny part,
but it's recurring...
if I get it.
A part. Yeah.
Hey. But they shoot
the pilot here.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Then it's just back to LA.
I just don't know
whether I should send
the tape in or not.
I'm done with rejection,
you know?
TRACEY:
Mm. Mm-hmm.
ROB:
But it's not a mechanic.
[chuckles]
It's a cop show.
Would you read it?
You know, as an editor,
you could tell me
what you think of this guy.
You know, how I should approach
this character.
-Sure.
-Really?
[Tracey chuckles]
Because I was thinking
of packing
this whole acting thing,
and, you know,
maybe become a real accountant.
No, Rob. If...
if the part's good,
I'm... I'm happy for you.
I know you'd understand.
You know, Joe Pesci
was going to quit acting
right before he got Raging Bull?
-Really?
-ROB: Hmm.
Didn't know that before.
Maybe I could stop by
your office this afternoon
with... with the script.
Yeah. Sure.
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
SHELLEY:
Tracey, Tracey, Tracey. Tracey.
Do you ever work?
Oh, I've been working.
Fact-checking on your boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend.
Pull up his bio.
There, look.
Oh, wait.
Look.
What?
Remember what he said
about his dad?
He was a waiter
in a French restaurant,
and he opened up
a little place of his own.
He did all right.
His father
is Arthur Hollingsworth.
Founder and CEO of the chain
of Hollingsworth's
fine-dining restaurants.
Okay. So?
So? It means he's loaded.
Why would he lie about that?
It's not exactly a lie.
More of an act.
SHELLEY:
Hi, my name's Rob.
I'm not a real serial killer,
but I play one on TV.
-Boo!
-Ah!
[laughs]
I'm so sorry.
Hello, Shelley. Oh.
We have to stop meeting
like this.
Robert Jones, hello.
-Back to my fact-checking.
-TRACEY: Mm.
[chuckles]
You up for a read?
ROB:
So, I thought we could run
some lines even
if you don't mind playing
a gum-smacking waitress.
I'm the hitman
who knocked you up.
But I'm trying to go straight.
Can I ask you
something personal?
Who's improvising now?
Tell me about that restaurant
that your dad opened.
My dad?
TRACEY:
Yeah. I saw the photo
buried in your bio page.
You and your dad,
it was a recent picture.
You know you pay an agent
to update those things.
Is your dad
Arthur Hollingsworth?
Yes.
And why does that matter?
Because my dad
is Arthur Hollingsworth.
Imagine being the son
of one of the most successful
restaurateurs in the country.
Then imagine saying "No"
to that fortune
when it was offered to you.
Sounds a lot like being
the granddaughter
of one of the greatest
romance novelists
of the 20th century.
Exactly.
I spent most of my life
in that shadow,
and it was awfully cold there.
So, I decided to step out
into the light
and just happened to be
in the light of the stage,
Well, a prominent name
could have opened doors for you.
If I'm gonna make it,
I wanted it to be
because I earned it.
Not because who my father is.
There's no shame in that.
[phone rings]
Oh, it's Maggie. Hello.
-MAGGIE: Hey, hon. Got a minute?
- Yes.
MAGGIE:
What are you doing?
Actually,
we're just having a drink.
Is everything okay?
MAGGIE:
Yes. Can I see you?
-TRACEY: Sure.
-MAGGIE: Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Yeah, I'll be there.
MAGGIE:
Say "Hi" to Rob.
Yes. I'll tell him
you say "Hello."
MAGGIE:
Okay, bye, hon.
Okay, bye.
Maggie is coming
to the office tomorrow.
A big announcement.
Thanks for hearing me out.
Thanks for being honest.
MAGGIE:
I'm afraid
I've done something crazy.
What are you talking about?
Completely selfish, I know.
What's going on?
I spoke with Claude.
Went by a few days ago
to pay for the attack
of the Chad fans in the gazebo.
-Okay.
-And something struck me.
Just felt right.
Grama, what have you done?
I booked a wedding rehearsal
for you and Rob.
[indistinct chatter
in background]
[claps]
A dress rehearsal really.
You're kidding.
Maggie!
What a pleasant surprise.
What's going on?
They're having
a wedding dress rehearsal.
-Wait--
-That's wonderful!
What's so wonderful?
Oh. Uh, Tracey and Rob
are having a wedding dress
rehearsal.
Oh, yippee!
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I should have spoken to you.
I know you both want
a small ceremony.
And you can still have it.
This way,
no matter what happens,
I can say I was there with you.
Oh, Grama.
[grunts]
I'm just asking
for this one thing.
The rest is up to you,
I promise.
Okay, Grama.
And you're all invited.
This Saturday
at the Somerset Tea House.
And I want you all
in your Sunday best.
[clapping]
Whoo!
CARL:
You know, this is just
like the surprise marriage
in the fifth Cassandra novel.
Remember, where she falls
for the Swedish prince!
-Yeah.
-Oh!
It's a regular, old fairy-tale.
Mm-hmm.
We don't have to do this, Tray.
It's my grandmother's
dying wish, Shelley.
[phone rings]
Sure. One last show then.
Maybe.
Maybe?
What if it's not a show?
What do you mean?
Rob wants to meet
to discuss some big news.
So, you have fallen in love
with this guy.
I don't know.
Maybe I have.
[chuckling]
[sighs]
I guess she likes insurance ads.
Actually, it's the series,
I guess, Sinners of the City.
It's been streaming nonstop
online.
[chuckles]
Oh, that reminds me.
I have not had a chance
to read Walk the Talk.
But I think you would make
a wonderful hitman-slash-
long-distance daddy.
-Thank you.
-Yep.
Though as a working mom,
I would not consider that
a stable job for a child.
[chuckles]
Well, that's kinda what
I wanna talk to you about.
What kind of a career can an
actor carve out in this city,
you know, without going to LA?
It's very tough.
Which leads me
to my big announcement.
I think she brought friends.
-Run!
-Ooh!
I love you, Chad!
We love you!
-[pants]
-My agent told me
there's even an online petition
to bring Chad back.
No.
-[chuckles]
-Although,
I did die in a horrible
dishwasher accident.
Wow!
-[chuckles]
-I think we may have lost them.
-Okay.
-Here. Come on here.
I wanna tell you something.
Oh. Speaking of jobs,
my grandmother has one more
favor to ask of you.
-Hmm.
-She's booked a
dress rehearsal for the wedding.
A dress rehearsal? But I thought
we were having a small ceremony.
I mean, Rob and Tracey Jones,
that is.
Hmm. We are.
And that's the story.
It's kind of a--
like a wedding gift, I guess.
It's more for her really.
And, hey, if you're gonna have a
wedding,
why not have the greatest
living romance novelist
planning it for you?
-[chuckles]
-[Tracey laughs]
Well, that's exciting.
Mm-hmm.
But I think I have you beat.
Really?
I'm not gonna be a dad anymore.
Oh!
Broke up with the waitress
already, huh?
[chuckles]
The pilot, it got picked up,
and they want me for the lead.
Rob! What?
-[chuckles]
-[Rob laughs]
I have a wardrobe fitting
on Saturday.
We shoot here
for a couple weeks,
and then it's off to LA.
Oh, my goodness!
[Rob chuckles]
Wow! That's...
that's incredible.
But the dress rehearsal's
on Saturday.
[sighs]
Well, maybe we can postpone it.
Maggie's already paid
for everything.
But... but this is it.
This is my Joe Pesci moment.
-[chuckles]
-Mm.
No, wait. Wait, Tracey.
I'm sure we can work it out.
Don't worry about it, Rob.
I'll figure something out.
No, listen, Tracey.
I'll call my agent.
We'll postpone
the wardrobe fitting.
I'll be there.
I guess that means you'll be
relocating to LA now, right?
Well, I have to for the show.
But Saturday,
I'll... I'll be there.
I... I promise.
One last performance, right?
[sighs]
[]
Hi.
TRACEY:
I feel like such a fool.
I mean, rent a groom.
The name says it all.
He plays the romantic lead
in a lot of girls' fantasies.
I mean, I hired him
to play that part.
[sighs]
[slurps]
It was fun... playing a couple.
[inhales]
I just thought it...
might become something more.
You got caught up in the show.
I don't blame you.
-Right?
-Yeah.
Well...
we just have to get
through one last performance,
and I can write him back
out of my life.
[]
Hello, Rob.
Dad.
Been a long time.
There years this May.
You all right?
Yeah. Actually, I'm really good.
You had dinner?
I'm not staying long.
Drink then.
Sure.
Thank you for coming. Take care.
So, what are you drinkin'?
Club soda's just fine for me.
Two club sodas, please.
WAITRESS:
Of course.
Listen, I didn't come here
to fight.
I came here because I wanted
to tell you two things.
Okay.
First...
I'm an actor.
I know.
I've seen
the insurance commercial.
No, no, no. Not that stuff.
A real actor. I got a part.
A lead part in a series.
It's a great part.
It's what I've been working
for my whole life.
Congratulations.
I'm happy for you.
Here's your drinks.
You are?
Of course!
All I've ever asked from you
is you work hard
for whatever it is you want.
For me, it's this place,
you know?
I was hoping the
dream could be shared.
Turned into more of a wedge.
I mean, I guess you had a right
to push me away.
-I didn't push you away.
-ARTHUR: Oh.
Three years
of the silent treatment
is not exactly a gentle nudge.
I said I didn't come here
to argue.
Well... why are you here?
I wanted to talk to you
about the ring.
-The ring?
-Yes.
Mom's ring.
Mom's ring.
I've met someone, Dad.
Mom's ring.
So, it's serious?
Yes.
I'm in love.
[Arthur chuckling]
That look on my face
when I met your mom.
You are so much like her.
You follow your heart.
Oh, she would be so proud
of you right now.
I miss her.
I miss her, too.
Just make sure
you keep following your heart.
It led you through these doors.
Looks like it led you
into someone else's heart.
So, when do I get to meet her?
Well, if all goes well,
I'll need a table for two
for Saturday night.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[mumbles, laughs]
Whoo!
[laughs]
Are you trying to set
a world record?
TODD:
I'm invincible.
You say that now.
Hi. My name's Trevor.
[grunts]
Turn that up.
ROB:
I was once just like you,
not sure which insurance plan
was right for me and my family.
But now that
I'm with Stanfield Insurance,
we all sleep better at night.
Because in life,
you just never know
when to expect the unexpected.
[car pass by]
ROB:
Stanfield Insurance.
We expect the unexpected.
Do you know that guy?
I know him, too.
Only his name ain't Trevor.
It's Brad.
See, a while back,
I was trying to get back
with my ex-girlfriend.
And then this guy shows up,
and she says
he's her fianc. Only...
yeah, he wasn't.
Turns out, she hired this guy
to act like her fianc.
[gasps]
They call it Rent-a-Groom.
You call them,
and then they show up
and ruin your life.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
[laughs]
There!
Oh, I got you. I got you.
Oh, you're going down.
You're going down!
Okay.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[door knocks]
SHELLEY:
Hey.
TRACEY:
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's the matter?
You worried about the wedding
rehearsal tomorrow?
Oh, no. Everything's perfect.
Dress was bought,
flowers are ordered.
My groom is leaving for LA.
Yeah, no.
Everything's going
according to plan.
Whoa.
You want him to stay?
I want him to want to stay.
So, you're upset because you
fell in love with him?
I fell in love with him
by mistake.
And that's his fault?
Well, now's your chance
to blast him with the truth.
He's in the boardroom
waiting for you.
Rob's here?
Yes.
Tell him, Tracey.
Well, what if it doesn't change
anything?
Well, what if it does?
ROB:
It's called Rent-a-Groom.
ARTHUR:
Rent-a-Groom?
You aren't a gigolo, are you?
Dad, no. It's not like that.
People-- well, women pay me
to pretend
to be their love interests.
ARTHUR:
But you say you quit.
This morning.
ARTHUR:
How long were you doing this?
Three years.
Three very long years.
I think I've been engaged
maybe 20 times.
And I've had some doozies.
But it's finally over.
This endless acting.
You know how hard it is
to fake being madly in love?
I mean, I'm a good actor, but,
whoo.
And then
there's engagement party.
And all her little friends.
I tell you, it's agony.
It's just this part I'm playing.
It doesn't mean anything.
And I'm tired of pretending
that it does.
I can't wait to tell her.
I'm ready for the real thing.
[sniffles, sobs]
ARTHUR:
Well, son,
I think you definitely made
the right decision.
Thanks, Dad.
And thanks for calling.
ARTHUR:
Bye, son.
[sighs, chuckles softly]
[phone rings, beeps]
ROB:
Tracey, hey.
I waited at the office.
Connie said you had to step out
to take a--
Tracey, please call me.
I'd really love to talk about--
[sobs]
ROB:
Hey, Tracey. It's Rob again.
Um, I'm not sure
if I did something to upset you.
But, uh, if we could meet--
[sniffles, sobs]
[birds cripping in background]
[indistinct chatter]
Good afternoon, folks.
And, Maggie, you look
absolutely gorgeous.
Thank you, Rob. You don't look
so bad yourself.
Oh, well, it is a special day.
[chuckles]
Have you seen Tracey?
Oh, no. Rob, it's...
bad luck to see the bride
before the wedding.
-[chuckles]
-MAGGIE: I don't think
a dress rehearsal wedding
counts, sweetheart.
She's inside.
Thank you, Maggie.
Well, we'll see you all
after the big moment. Oh.
Everything is perfect.
I couldn't have written
this better myself.
Good luck.
[indistinct chatter continues]
[door knocks]
Hey. You're not supposed
to be here.
I'm sorry, I know.
Give me that.
You look absolutely stunning.
Just getting in the costume.
I half expected you
to send a stand-in.
No. I said I'd be here,
didn't I?
Five minutes to curtain.
Can I talk to you
about something?
There you go.
Getting off script again.
No improvising, remember?
Or are you directing
this show as well?
Places, everyone.
We can't keep Maggie waiting.
Well, can we talk after?
Just hit your mark,
and say your lines.
We can wrap this whole thing up.
[birds cripping]
[indistinct chattering]
[sighs]
[Claude blows raspberry]
Oh, my goodness.
I am excited...
[chuckles]
...and nervous.
This is not my real job,
you understand?
But I have always wanted
to do this.
And when Margaret Westmoreland
asked me to preside, well--
Shh!
Hi, darling.
[kisses]
[kisses]
[chuckles softly]
-Excited?
-Mm-hmm.
CLAUDE:
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to witness the union
of Robert Jones
and Tracey Westmoreland.
[car pass by]
Marriage is a sacred bond.
A commitment to one another,
born from the seed of destiny,
nurtured with true love,
to blossom into the flower
of matrimony.
Before we proceed,
I must ask you both
if there is any impediment
to this union.
Actually, there is something
I'd like to say.
-Tracey-
-I object!
[guests gasp]
I object,
because this man is an actor.
[guests whispering]
Oh, my God. It's true.
I'm not really
a justice of the peace.
Not you, idiot. Him!
-Todd!
-His real name is
Robert J. Hollingsworth.
He works for an outfit
called Rent-a-Groom.
Tracey, what's he on about?
Tracey hired this guy
to fool Maggie.
Tracey, is this true?
Yes. It's true.
Grams, I'm so sorry.
I never meant for it
to go this far,
but now that it has,
I'm glad
this little charade is over.
Charade? Is that all
this had been to you?
Yeah, Rob.
It was just a part I'm playing.
It doesn't mean anything.
[sobs]
I'm tired of pretending
that it does.
-Hey, Tracey. Wait, wait--
-SHELLEY: No, no, no. No, no.
Wait, please.
SHELLEY:
Tray.
[sobs]
Maggie, I am so, so truly sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
The ring
that is on Tracey's hand...
it belonged to my mother.
I was gonna give it to Tracey
for real this time.
But I can see now
that that's not what she wants.
These last few days
have been filled
with a few half-truths,
but there is one thing
that is... very real.
I truly love your granddaughter.
[guests gasp]
[whimpers]
Walk away!
[gasps, groans]
Maggie! Maggie!
Maggie? Maggie? Maggie?
Give me a hand.
[abulance sirens in background]
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, Tray.
How's the new batch of jalopies?
[sighs]
[]
Any word about your grandma?
It's been two weeks
since she collapsed.
Doctors are trying
to stay optimistic, but...
I can't help thinking...
I did this.
No, Tracey. Don't say that.
I thought
it would make her happy.
I thought...
[sobs, sniffles]
[phone rings]
It's the hospital.
TRACEY:
Grandma.
[sobs]
How are you?
Ring.
Ring?
Oh, right, the prop ring.
I totally forgot about it.
Yeah. I think
I threw it in my purse.
You wanna see it? Yeah?
Okay. It should be in here
somewhere.
You're right.
I should probably mail it
back to him.
Or directly to the prop house
he got it from.
Not a prop.
It's real.
His mother's.
I don't understand.
Find his father.
Oh.
Can I help you?
Yes.
Are you Arthur Hollingsworth?
I am.
Mr. Hollingsworth, my name is...
Tracey Westmoreland.
Yes.
You look exactly
as Rob described you.
I think I have something
that belongs to you.
I've not seen that
in a long time.
Let's grab a seat.
It belonged to my wife. Lucille.
When she passed away,
Rob asked if he could have it.
He said he wanted to put it
on the finger
of the girl he loved.
I guess he found her.
I called him the day
before your dress rehearsal...
to ask him if he was sure.
That kid's never been more sure
of anything in his life.
He even quit
that Rent-a-Groom job.
He did?
That very morning.
He said they were parts
he was playing.
He was tired of pretending.
Said he wanted to make it real.
And he wanted
to make it real with you.
Can I ask you, Tracey...
why the cold feet?
I think I heard the wrong end
of that phone call earlier.
Hold onto it.
[sobs]
Thank you.
[]
Aw, sweetie.
Well, did I miss anything
while I was away?
TRACEY:
Grams.
Did you find his father?
Yes.
And the ring?
I have it.
Grams.
I never meant to hurt you.
Oh.
Listen, kiddo.
I've written enough
romance novels in my time
to know what true love
looks like.
I think I may have believed
your story
because you were falling
in love.
You can't fake that.
So, I have one question for you.
Yes?
Why are you still sitting here?
Hmm?
ALLAN:
Tracey.
I don't know
where they're shooting,
but I know they wrap today.
-Then...
-He leaves for LA.
[birds cripping]
Hi.
[]
Hi.
How did you find me?
Shelley told me you were here.
Maggie, is she all right?
She had an accident.
Right after you left
the dress rehearsal--
-Oh, no.
-She's all right.
She... she just woke up.
[chuckles]
She filled me in...
on this.
I went to see your dad.
You did?
He told me everything.
But you're still here.
The show, I thought
it went to LA.
Yeah, it did without me.
I quit.
-But, Rob--
-Tracey.
I thought this was my big break,
but I realized
over these last few days...
you...
you've been my big break all
along.
And I've been racking my brain
on the drive over here
how to play the scene
where I run across town
and find the beautiful
book editor, and tell her
how madly in love
I am with her.
I think I can help you
run some lines.
[smooches]
What do I do with this?
Hold on to it.
It'll play in the later scene.
[chuckles softly]
[giggles]
[]