Replacing Dad (1999) Movie Script

[cheerful music]
[bell ringing]
- Hi.
- Hi, Mrs. Marsh.
- Ooh.
- [Boy] I'm gonna miss the show.
- Okay.
We're coming right back.
- No.
- I promise.
Up here.
Drew left his good
shoes at home.
They won't let him
sing in his sneakers.
- I can sing in my sneakers.
- Yes, you can, honey.
I know that.
You're coming in with me.
- No, I'm not.
- Well, hey, Mr. Richard.
How are you?
Good to see you.
Welcome, welcome.
- Dad.
Have you seen Mom?
- I suppose she's
around here somewhere.
Hey, how are you?
Skeeter, how you feeling, boy?
Good to see you.
Hey, you're gonna have to change
those shoes of yours, you know.
And that hair gets cut first
thing Saturday morning.
- Yes, sir.
- Well, hey, good to see you.
[busy music]
- [Mrs. Marsh] I know, I know.
I know it's a terrible
- No!
- statement on the world.
- No.
- I don't want you
growing up afraid.
I really don't,
but I can't leave
you out here alone.
Come on.
You're coming inside.
Come on.
Ugh.
Woo.
Come on.
Woo.
Woo hoo.
Hey, Twister, good boy.
[Twister barking]
Drew said he left his shoes
in the closet, Willie.
Oh!
[Willie laughs]
- Elliot, trade places
with Mr. Smarty Feet there.
[audience applauding]
- Three small lights bobbed
with the swell of the waves,
lanterns, each
hung on the stern-
- [Mrs. Marsh] Ann Marie.
- Oh, it just started.
- Would you give those to Drew?
- Yeah, no problem.
- Thank you.
- So they could go far
west in the great Atlantic,
an ocean of dragons
and whirlpools,
most people believed
at the time.
Brave sailors,
Columbus and his men.
Yes, they brought tragedies
to the land they found,
disease and death and slavery,
ugly truths, which
sometimes we find hard
to balance against
the gratefulness
that we feel living in
this wonderful country
and in this wonderful town
with our pelicans
and our flamingos.
[some children chuckle]
For the better, I
think, those ships
and those men have brought
us here together today.
And I thank Mr.
Columbus for that.
[audience applauding]
And now I give you the Palm
Key Orchestra and Glee Club.
O beautiful for
spacious skies
For amber waves
- The mayor wants a few words.
- Okay.
- I won't be long.
Waves of grain
For purple
mountains majesties
Above the fruited plain
- [Mrs. Marsh] Mandy, I gotta
tell you it was thrilling.
- Was I really good?
- Absolutely terrific.
George.
- Wonderful.
- You weren't even there.
- Well, of course I was.
You think I'd miss my
princess' first a solo?
- Waa dang!
- [Mandy] Willie, stop.
- Hey, Drew.
- Hey, Julie.
- Sit up.
- So how about your dad?
Was that a great speech?
- Not bad.
- Lin, you're not eating.
- You know my thing
about sausage.
- Why didn't you say something?
- Oh, I'll just pick it off.
- [Mandy] Hey, Drew!
- [Drew] Come on. [laughing]
- Ooh, did you call the roofer?
- Sid says we can't afford it.
We gotta put more
money in the IRA.
- Yeah, well, Sid won't be here
when we all float away to Cuba.
- All right, big boy.
- Five minutes.
- [Drew] I'm in the shower.
- [Linda] Good
night, sweetheart.
Sweet dreams.
- Nora Clutter said Daddy and
Miss Scott like each other.
- Miss Scott, your teacher?
Sweetheart, your Daddy
likes all his teachers.
That's his job.
- Happy anniversary.
Open it.
- Oh, it's beautiful.
- All the girls
are wearing them.
- It's not too revealing?
- It's extreme.
Daddy'll love it too.
- Hmm.
I wonder how he'll look
in this shade of pink.
[both laugh]
I love you.
- Love you too, Mom.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Ooh!
[both giggle]
Night.
- Night.
- [whistles] Yoo-hoo.
What do you think?
Mandy gave it to me.
- Wow.
You look like a kid.
- Excuse me, Mr. Marsh, do
you have any homework for me?
Go on, Twister.
Happy 16th.
- Well, not much
of a celebration.
- Well, it doesn't
have to stop here.
Why don't we drive
up to Silver Springs,
their honeymoon hotel?
Get mom to stay with the kids.
- That place has probably
fallen into the gulf by now.
- Well then why don't we go out
to that little roadside
park on Interstate 98?
It'd only take a half
hour to get there.
- Oh, we used to
be so damn sexy.
Now it's all about the kids
and the job and the roof.
What happened, babe?
One minute you're young,
there's nothing you can't do.
- Come on, George.
We got a good life,
great kids, our own home.
Even the crab grass
is under control.
And we've got each other.
- I had such dreams for us.
What did I deliver?
Principal at a high
school out in the sticks,
the usual mortgage, pile
of credit card debt.
- You're an inspiration to
every child at that school.
Every month, some
graduate stops by.
You've touched hundreds
of people, George.
This little life, this
family, is my dream.
- You're so easy to please.
- [Linda] Yes, I am.
[both moaning]
- Are you sure about
that crab grass?
- [giggles] Oh, George.
George!
[George chuckles]
Morning.
- [George] Hey.
- [Linda] Your dad now
are going out tonight.
I want you home by six.
- I'll call you later.
- I'm gonna throw up.
- Well, you just wait.
You just wait until
you fall in love.
- Hey, Mom, Mom, stop!
Mom, gosh.
[horn honking]
- Bus is here.
- Hey, Tisha.
Hi, everybody.
- Oh, hi, honey.
- Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
- No problem, darling.
- Oh, Dottie, do your stuff.
- Anniversary again, huh?
- Look what I did.
[Dottie gasps]
Can you believe it?
- Oh, sweetie, can
his heart take it?
Oh!
- Excuse me, is
the principal in?
- Goodness, Linda.
[Linda laughing]
It may not be at good time.
Let me tell him you're here.
He's in with the mayor.
[George murmuring]
- [Ann Marie] George.
[George chuckles]
- Oh, excuse me.
- Linda.
Oh, you're early.
If I'd known you
were coming early,
I would have put Ann Marie off.
We were working on
her grant proposal
for her master's research.
It's about, it's all about
computers in the classroom.
Have they, you know,
really made a difference.
It's incredible stuff.
- And then he lied to me.
Or maybe he's been
lying to me for years.
- Lied to you?
Lied to you about what?
- I caught you
George, red handed,
with Mandy's teacher.
- Caught me doing what?
I'm not gonna tell you
that I don't like her.
She's a, she's a terrific girl.
- George.
George.
George.
- Oh, God.
What am I doing?
I'm risking everything.
I'm risking you.
My family, my job.
What am I doing?
I need help, Linda.
- Now you want sympathy?
- I tried to end it.
It's like I'm addicted.
- No, I can't listen
to this, George.
I am the injured party here.
I just walked through that door
and got my heart broken.
George!
You've hurt me!
- Okay, come here.
Look, it'll be all right.
- How? When?
What, what'll I do till then?
How did you make love to me?
- Because I still do love you.
- Well then you
gotta make a choice.
That's what marriage
is all about.
Nobody said you weren't
gonna be attracted
to 24-year-old teacher Barbie.
- Just gimme some
time on my own.
[somber music]
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, my god.
- I'll work it out.
Linda.
[Linda sobbing]
- Are you a all
right, Mrs. Marsh?
- Oh.
Sure, sweetheart, I'm fine.
I just, I just got
something in my eye.
Go on.
Don't worry about me.
Go on.
[Linda sobbing]
Your father and I have
something to tell you.
- What?
That he's boinking Miss Scott?
The whole school's
talking about it.
- Sweetheart.
- Listen to me.
I love your mother,
and I love each and every
one of you very much,
no matter what anybody
says, never doubt that.
Now, we have to be strong,
but it is the best thing
if I move out for a while.
- What?
You really are a jerk!
- [Linda] Drew.
- God!
- Now, this is gonna
be hard on all of us.
I know that, but I want us
to stay together as a family.
- That'll be a neat trick.
- No, we can do it.
I know that, if we try.
Right, princess, huh?
I'll just be down the street.
A couple of months,
this will be behind us.
Don't give up on us now.
Come here, big boy.
Ooh.
Mwah.
- Dad.
Do I still get my allowance?
- The important things
never change, do they, Drew?
Here you go.
- No!
- No, go on, go back to Mom.
I'm not going far.
- Come here.
[melancholy music]
[Twister whines]
- Can't take you with
me to this trip, pal.
- What is this all about?
Where are we?
- Hold it, hold it.
Hold it right here.
Hold it, hold it.
[Linda laughing]
One second.
Welcome home.
- You bought it?
- Well, you said you wanted
a bungalow by the sea,
feeding barefoot babies and me.
[Linda screams]
Well, it's kind of small.
It's nothing special.
- Oh, no, George, it is.
It's very special.
All we have to do is
paint the shutters
and the trim and
put in some shrubs
and a couple of carriage lamps.
Woo!
I can see it right now
all covered with white
Christmas lights.
- Well, I like the colored ones.
- Colored Christmas lights.
[Linda whooping]
[melancholy music]
He'd always say
[Both] Linda, don't
go to the bar.
- [Linda] I couldn't help it.
- I just can't believe
how together you are.
- George and I, you know,
we've been married for about,
how many, 16 years, and
we've got three kids.
We got a life together.
This is not gonna last.
He's coming back.
He calls me every day.
[upbeat country music]
- And how long did he tell
you it's been going on?
- Six months.
- Six months, really?
He lied.
It's been six months
since I bet Sid
you would throw him out.
- You knew about this?
- Oh, honey, come on,
it's a small town.
I know what Ronnie
Law's had for breakfast,
the protein count of Ed
Scully's last urine test,
how much Ella McKee's
got left in her will.
Come on, Lin, you knew it too.
You just didn't wanna admit it.
Yeah, you did.
- Woo!
[rock music]
Wow, what is this stuff?
- Wine.
Why don't I take you home?
- Woo!
Yes!
[people clapping]
- No.
Oh, man.
- No.
Come on.
- No, no, no.
- My ball.
- I've had enough
humiliation for one night.
- Oh no, come on, chicken,
I'm just hitting my stride.
- I think I could stand
little humiliating.
- Well, you can or you can't.
[man laughs]
- You're on, girl.
I'm Charlie Pick.
- Charlie Pick, the roofing guy?
- Yup.
Accept no substitutes.
- I've been trying to
reach you for weeks.
I'm Linda Marsh.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, I tell you
what, Ms. Marsh,
if you win, I'll do
your job for free.
- And if you win?
- Well, I guess I can take
being humiliated after all.
[rock music]
Right, right.
Where's the cue ball?
Come here.
Ugh.
I think what you need
is another drink.
- [Linda] Yeah, yeah, me too.
- Down here.
Try it.
You can't get.
Go ahead, between 'em.
- I gotta go.
- Hey!
Linda Marsh!
- [Man] Oop, excuse me.
- Darling.
- I'm falling, Lucille.
I feel like the ground is
slipping out from underneath me.
- I know.
I know.
It'll get easier.
- He's not coming back.
- No, baby.
No baby, he's not.
[Linda crying]
Come on.
Come on.
Let me take you home.
- Okay.
- Come on.
[sad music]
- [Narrator On TV] After
careful observation,
soon they will all be
returned to the wild,
to their natural habitat.
Still, they will be missed.
- George.
- [Narrator On TV] Late in 1993,
the scientists will set out,
determined to go
beyond the point
of original observation.
- Where the hell have you been?
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Well, your children didn't
have a clue where you were.
- Oh yes, they did.
They knew exactly where I was.
I was at Fanny's.
- Tell that to Willie.
He needed you.
And where were you?
You were at Fanny's,
getting sloshed.
If you have any interest in
keeping this marriage together,
I suggest that you
pull yourself together.
- Wait a minute, George.
I'm not the problem here.
Remember?
- Problems in a marriage
happen because of two people.
I think I've accepted more
than my share of the guilt.
And if you can't handle
it alone with the kids,
I'll take them.
- Is that a threat?
- No, Linda, concern.
- I see.
My husband, the adulterer
thinks I'm an unfit mother?
- That's right, Linda,
go with the digs
instead of facing
the real issue.
We are not putting
the kids at risk.
- I have been with
those kids every minute
since you left them,
drying their tears,
talking them through
the nightmares.
You didn't even show
up last Saturday!
- Just keep the
partying into a minimum.
Don't even think about bringing
strange men into the house.
- Ha!
George, what is it?
What cheap, selfish
whim of yours haven't
I given into now?
[Linda sighs]
- I'm sorry, Mom.
Willie wanted him,
and he wouldn't come.
So I lied, and I told
didn't know where you were.
I'm sorry.
- Please, honey, next time
there's a problem, call me.
- Mom.
There's a problem.
[gentle music]
[Linda laughs]
- [Linda] Here you go, mister.
- Well, hello.
- Hi.
- I bought it for
him for Halloween.
- Oh, well, maybe he's just
trying to get a jump on it.
I wouldn't worry
about it too much.
I'm sure it's just on
account of George leaving.
- Yeah, well that's what
the psychologist says.
He'll be over it in
about a year or two.
Willie, stay away
from that garden!
- My but don't you
look nice today.
- Oh, thank you, Sidney.
Got a job interview.
[Lucille gasps]
- Oh, great, great.
- County job,
administrative assistant.
No big deal.
- Great.
- But it's a start.
- Oh, good for you!
- [Linda] Lucille, I've
had it with falling apart.
- [Lucille] Well, all right.
- [Sid] Knock 'em dead, now.
- You look great.
Good luck.
- Okay.
Oh, by the way,
where's Park Highway?
- Park Highway?
Oh, that's out by the dump.
- [Worker] All right, bring
her in nice and slow now.
Pass her down!
- [Man] Hi there.
- Hi.
- I don't mind telling you,
I'm a little heavy
on organization.
So if I seem
particular at first,
you'll soon see that it pays
to do things right
the first time.
[animals squeaking]
Oh, you just stomp your
foot a couple of times,
they'll run off.
Rats aren't nearly as
aggressive as people.
- [laughs] I'm sorry.
It's not funny, not at all.
- You know, little lady,
there is a world of
opportunity here.
Little as I might like
to think about it,
I'm only 12 years this side
of handing over the reins.
I'm gonna tell you
straight right now.
You don't have the
drive or the maturity,
let alone the
experience for the job.
- I can't get a job
at the county dump?
- That's right, no, ma'am.
- Uh huh.
[melancholy music]
[water dripping]
[dog whines]
- Read.
- All right.
Find another one.
- This one.
- Do I have to?
- Okay.
Let me move your ear.
"Rose Meets Mr. Wintergarden."
The morning the
Summers family moved
into their new house,
they felt at home.
Faith and Rose put
up their pictures.
Baby Blossom watched.
Mr. and Mrs Summers planted
pansies, petunias and daisies.
Their garden was a
carpet of flowers,
all before the sun went down.
Every morning from the
roof of their house,
the Summerses watched
the sun come up.
- Why don't we do that?
- Because we'd fall off.
No, it's just a story.
- It's not real?
- No, honey, it's not real.
[melancholy music]
George!
George!
Oh, George.
George,
I'm pregnant.
[Linda giggling]
George, George.
- [George] Ugh, I love you.
[laughing] I love you,
I love you, I love you.
I love you, I love
you, I love you.
I love you, love
you, I love you!
- You all know Amanda Marsh.
She'll be in our class now.
[kids giggling]
Now that's enough of that.
I want you to make
her feel welcome.
Go right over there.
- [Children] I pledge allegiance
to the flag of the
United States of America
And to the republic
for which it stands,
one nation under
God, indivisible.
- We both know why you did this.
You're trying to get back at me.
That's fine.
I understand.
I probably deserve it,
but I will not allow you to
disgrace this institution.
- Don't worry, you already
got that one covered.
- All right, that's it.
I'm tired of making exceptions.
We'll go by the
book on this one.
A month of detentions.
- Whoa, heavy stuff.
- And no learner's permit.
- I'm sure my mom mailed it in.
She always pays on time.
Yes, sir.
I will, sir.
- I'm sick of your spaghetti.
- Yeah, well, I'm sick
of you complaining.
Make it yourself.
- Y'all bring your
plates upstairs.
"Gone with the
Wind's" coming on.
- [scoffs] "Gone with
the Wind" is right.
- Five minutes till show time.
- Give me that thing!
- Mommy!
- [Mandy] It's filthy!
- Mandy!
- [Mandy] You're filthy.
- [Linda] Mandy, stop it.
- Do you want to
think he's a rabbit?
Well, he's not a rabbit.
- He's just having
trouble being Willie
without Daddy around.
- Well, what if he forgets how?
- You don't forget
how to be yourself.
- You have.
- Yeah, you can't
even get it together
to get the roof fixed.
- Your dad-
- Not everything's
Daddy's fault.
- Well, as a matter of fact,
I have called the roofer.
He's a, he's a friend.
Hi, Charlie.
Hi, this is Linda
Marsh, queen of mildew.
I was just wondering
if you could stop by
and gimme that estimate.
About the other night,
I, I had way too much to drink.
And could we just
forget about it?
Twister!
Twister!
He took the dog?
- George!
- [George] Linda,
what is the matter?
- [Linda] How could you?
- Get hold of yourself.
- It's not bad enough you gotta,
you gotta screw around!
You make your kids the butt
of every dirty joke in town!
How could you take the dog?
Don't you think
we have feelings?
Ugh!
Come home, George, please.
I need you.
I can't do this alone.
Please come home.
[sad music]
- I can't, Linda.
I don't love you anymore.
I'm in love with Annie.
[dog barking]
[vacuum whirring]
[Linda groans]
- Mom?
- Breakfast is ready.
And what was this
doing under sofa?
- [Linda] Mandy lost interest.
- Well, we'll see
you about that.
Oh, he was a fool
to have left you.
You're the closest thing to
Martha Stewart he's gonna get.
- Her husband left her too.
Palm Key residents
were shocked to learn
that George and Linda
Marsh are calling it quits.
George-
- That's kinda nice.
They care, sweetheart.
- I don't want their sympathy.
I want a new job,
a 10-day cruise,
a new car, someone
to pay my mortgage,
and someone to cut off George's-
- [Mom] Linda.
- And run it up the flag
pole outside of city hall.
- You know, why don't
you take that anger
and put it to some use?
Turn it into power!
- You got it.
We gotta want it.
I love pony, you love pony, woo!
Come on, let's go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- That's disgusting.
- Come on, Cher.
We're just talking
buns of titanium.
I just loved her in
the Moonlight movie.
- "Moonstruck," Mama.
[upbeat music]
Mom, I don't need
your pep talks,
your diets, your
exercise programs.
- Come on, baby,
just punch it out.
Get those endorphins moving.
Mr. Endorphin, wake up.
- Mom, this is not some
beauty pageant I just lost.
- Oh, honey.
I'm sorry things didn't
work out for you.
What did I know?
I just crawled out
of some ditch back.
You had a talent.
You had a beauty.
My life was so ordinary.
I wanted yours to
be extra ordinary.
[melancholy music]
- This is all I ever wanted.
I don't regret loving him.
I just regret trusting him.
Now, what was this?
- We got it.
We gotta want it.
I love pony, you love pony.
Woo!
- Oh, I can't take that.
- Yes, you can.
It's yours.
It's money I put away in case
you made it to Miss America.
- You put away $10,000 for
the Miss America pageant?
- Well, honey, for your dresses,
for your musical arrangements.
Those other girls wouldn't
have stood a chance.
Oh, baby, don't ever stop
believing in yourself.
You're just as extra
ordinary today.
- Even with these thighs?
- Even with those thighs.
- [Both] I love
pony, you love pony.
- Drew, that white line
is there for a reason!
- Mom, quit making him nervous.
You're doing just fine, Drew.
[girls giggling]
- And you keep your eyes
on the road, mister.
- Yes, yes!
- [Linda] No, no, no.
- And both hands, both
hands on the wheel!
Stop!
[tires squealing]
- Oh!
- [Linda] Okay now, you
just back up real easy.
- You learn how to drive!
Ugh!
- Drew, just give me those keys.
- Oh, now, just plan your stop
a little bit better next time.
- I'm sorry.
- All right, the light's green.
[horn honking]
[car crashes]
Oh Lord!
- [Linda] Hey, how you doing?
- What's that smell?
- It's money going up in smoke.
- [Man] Everybody all right?
- Shoot, I'm sorry, sir.
Honest, I forgot it
was still in reverse.
- How bad do you think it is?
- I don't think
it's that serious,
just the steam
makes it look bad.
- Um, um, I know
you're real upset.
This is obviously a fine car.
It's obviously real old,
and it's worth a
lot, at least to you.
Oh no, no, it's
probably real valuable,
and you love it.
And my son, he just got
his learner's permit.
I mean, literally just
got it this afternoon,
and his father, he-
- You married?
- Divorced almost.
And his father was
completely against it.
- The divorce?
- No, the learner's permit.
And do you think that maybe
we could just not make
too big a deal about this?
I mean, this might really
blow my son's confidence.
I'd really appreciate it.
- I don't see why not.
- [Reporter] This way, please.
- Linda, honey.
He's a widower and a doctor.
Harvard Medical School.
- Mom, let's get
one thing straight,
if in 40 years I'm ready
for a man in my life,
I'll get a pen pal.
- And he's replacing
old Dr. Wright.
[cheerful music]
1 2, 3.
[Mandy giggling]
- Drew, this box seems to
have gotten a lot heavier
since the last time I moved it.
- Amanda, I just heard a story
about a baton that just
about broke my heart.
- I wasn't very good.
- Well, neither was your
mama when she was your age.
She went on to be
state champion.
- She did?
- The other girl in the
competition broke her arm.
- [chuckles] I have pictures.
And she sang like a bird.
- I hate when Mommy sings.
- And she won most talented
in her very first state pageant.
And the entire audience
rose to its feet.
- What did you sing, Mom?
- Well, everyone stood up,
so it must have been the
"Star Spangled Banner."
- [Linda] Ha!
[phone ringing]
- [Charlie] Linda, this
is Charlie, Charlie Pick.
You know, there's a
break in the rain now.
I was wondering if
you still wanted
that roof of yours fixed.
- Don't hang up.
- Let me know.
- Hello?
[dial tone humming]
Oh, shoot.
Let there be light!
[family whooping]
- Bravo.
We did good.
- Yes, we did.
- [Linda] Oh, it looks
like I always wanted it to.
- It's just beautiful.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Well, I think it's time
I just went and drove your
brother crazy for a while.
- I love you, Mom.
- [Mom] There's
Drew, Willie, Mandy.
Where are you?
- That's always
the hardest part.
- Oh.
[melancholy music]
- George.
- I know the kids are spending
Christmas day with me,
but I figure they're used to
opening their presents here.
- That's very sweet.
Come on inside.
We'll put 'em under the tree.
Come.
- Well, the place
looks wonderful.
- Just needed a
little attention.
- And you look,
you look like the
first time I saw you.
- George.
I'm not proud of some of
the things I said or did.
And I still have my moments,
but I am beginning
to accept things
the way they are.
And [sighs] I think we're
gonna be just fine this way.
- Great, well, that's great.
- You better get on home.
- Merry, Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, George.
[gentle music]
- No way!
I got a boom box!
- [Mandy] Cool.
- [Willie] Whoa!
- Just can't play it too loud.
- Oh my gosh, Mom.
- Yeah.
- It's a radio
and two cassettes.
- It's the right one?
- This is perfect.!
- Okay.
Y'all be careful now,
that couch is brand new.
- I'm afraid you left
the gate open again.
- Oh, well, thank
you for sharing that
with us, Mr. Scrooge.
What's the matter with you?
Damn.
[George sighs]
- I thought you'd have
this more together.
- Like Linda always did?
- I'll take 'em to a movie.
Joy to the world
The Lord is come
Let earth receive her king
Let every heart prepare
[hand knocking]
[Linda humming]
- Ho ho ho.
- [Linda] Charlie.
- [chuckling] I thought
I might take a look
at that roof for you.
- [Linda] On Christmas?
- Well, don't worry,
no extra charge.
Maybe just a glass of egg nog.
- So don't you have
any family around here?
- Nope.
Ohio.
Cold.
That is one beautiful
tree you got there.
- Oh, well, George
and I always disagreed
on how much was too much.
And I think I went a
little overboard this year.
- No, I think it's perfect.
Merry Christmas, Linda.
- Merry Christmas, Charlie.
- [Charlie] Come here.
[Linda gasps]
- Oh, stop.
- [Charlie] I'm starved.
- Stop it!
- Come here.
Come on.
- [Linda] Slow down.
- Just relax.
- Lemme just.
Slow down, okay?
Let me just make another drink.
Oh my gosh.
- Ugh!
God, ugh!
- Get out!
- Okay, I'm going.
- Get out!
- Stop hitting!
- You creep, get out!
- I'm going!
I'm going, lady!
[sad music]
- We'll find him.
- I can't prove a thing.
It's his word against mine.
- Chances are, Linda,
he's tried this before,
and your word means
plenty in this town.
- [Police Officer]
Here you go, Dan.
- Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
They got him,
and he's hurting real bad.
Nice work.
State champion, huh?
- Thank God I wasn't
a cheerleader.
- Maybe you should stay with
a friend, just for tonight.
- No, George will be
bringing the kids back soon.
I'll be fine.
- We'll be getting
outta your way.
- What next?
The plague?
Damn!
Drew!
- It's Christmas vacation!
Don't you know what that means?
- Yeah, it means you
got five days left
to write three dazzling
themes on American poetry.
Now march.
Come on, it's not
rocket science, Drew.
What's it mean?
- I don't know.
- Oh, captain, my captain,
our fearful trip is done.
The ship has
weathered every rack.
The prize we sought is won.
- Sounds like maybe some
sailors have to be home.
- Yes.
Now, read it again
and think about this,
it's about Abraham Lincoln.
- No kidding?
- So if the captain is a
president during a terrible war?
- Oh gosh, Mom, I really get
it better when I hear it.
Just read it to me.
- No, I'm cooking.
You do it.
Come on.
- [sighs] The port is
near.
The
bells I
hear.
The people
all
exciting.
- Exhausting.
- Whatever.
- Wal...
- Drew, you can't
see those words.
Oh my God.
You need glasses.
- Of course I can see it!
It's Christmas vacation!
I'm not reading some dorky
poem during Christmas vacation!
- Oh no.
- E, P, F.
O, T, Z, E, L, P, D,
C, E, P, F, D.
Happy?
- So he does need glasses?
- I think it might be a little
bit more serious than that.
He's confusing certain
letters consistently.
- I know, I noticed that.
- [Doctor] What kind
of grades does he get?
- Bs.
Mostly Cs.
- He's awfully bright
to be getting mostly Cs.
- I know.
His father thinks he's lazy,
and I always assumed
he wasn't book smart.
- If I'm right, he's had
to fight tooth and nail
for those grades.
And I hate to tell you this,
but I think he's dyslexic.
- I know.
Oh.
Drew, why didn't
you say something?
I can't believe you held
this inside all these years.
- Just don't tell dad.
Please.
He hates me enough already.
- Hate you?
He doesn't hate you.
- He'd have been a lawyer
if it wasn't for me.
You got pregnant.
- He told you that?
- He gave everything
up for stupid retard!
- Drew, look at me.
Let me see your eyes.
Come on.
- God!
- First of all,
you're gonna be fine.
We're gonna take care of this.
And secondly, for the record,
you were very much planned
and wanted and adored.
He literally counted the
days until you were born.
The day I brought you
home from the hospital,
he planted the entire
garden in blue flowers.
- Then what happened, Mom?
How did he get to be so mean?
- It's good to see you
two together again.
- [Linda] Hi.
- But I'm just a
hopeless romantic.
- Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
[gentle piano music]
- I thought we were
just gonna talk.
This isn't exactly
what I expected.
- Well, I figured we both
had a lot on our minds,
what with this news about Drew.
A night out might
do us some good.
I know this is a
favorite place of yours.
To the future,
whatever it holds.
- Uh huh.
- I tell you, Lin, I
take full responsibility
for not picking up
on Drew's dyslexia.
I'm gonna get him the best
doctors, the best everything.
- You really mean that?
- I don't care what it costs.
I'll find the money.
We'll get through this.
Together.
I have to tell you that the
holidays were very tough.
- It's a sentimental time.
- No, that wasn't it.
I missed you.
I missed the kids.
I miss seeing them, you
know, smiling faces there
on Christmas Eve.
Remember how I used to
dress up like Santa Claus?
Peeking through the banisters,
big old sack of
toys on my shoulder.
- Here we are.
- We'd kiss
under the mistletoe.
- [Waiter] Oysters.
- George.
- They always were a
favorite of yours, huh?
- [Waiter] Excuse me.
- Thank you.
- [Waiter] Enjoy.
- Lin, do you think that maybe
there's a chance that we
could get back together?
- Oh.
- Just,
just a chance?
- There's always
a chance, I guess.
- That's all I need.
I know we got a lot
of things to work out.
Correction, I've got a
lot of things to work out.
- [Linda] Starting with Drew.
- Absolutely.
I'm the first one that
wanna make things better.
- George, Drew's
got this crazy idea
that you would've
gone to law school
if he hadn't come along.
- Oh, God.
Well, I guess I laid on the
scare tactics a little thick.
We were having a
discussion about girls,
the discussion about girls.
Now, I preached total
abstinence, of course,
warned him about the
evils of the flesh.
I said, "Listen to your old man,
as wonderful as they are,
kids limit your options."
- Like yours were?
- Well, yeah, I use
myself as an example.
I mean, who knows
what I would've been
if you hadn't rushed
me into a family.
- Oh my god.
You couldn't have
said anything worse.
Even if it was true.
- Honey, I was making a point
- That is despicable!
- for his benefit.
- It's despicable
that you would ruin your own son
to feed the bottomless
pit of an ego of yours.
Waiter!
Waiter, would you bring
this man his check?
Just for once, I wish
that you would live up
to your personal
myth of yourself,
George the good,
the kind, the wise!
Get back together with you?
No, I...
How did I ever love you?
[gentle music]
Darn.
All right.
Come on.
Ugh!
Good riddance.
[ring clatters]
Bye.
Hey there.
- Hey.
Well, howdy bunny.
What's your name?
- [Willie] Willie Rabbit.
- Willie Rabbit.
Let me think now, do
rabbits eat lollipops?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, if they wash
their hands first.
- [Doctor] There you go.
- [Linda] Go ahead.
- Oh, I was browsing the net.
Got some information
on dyslexia.
- Oh, let me put these down.
- [Doctor] Up to
date to the minute.
- Great.
I signed him up for this
reading clinic in Gainesville.
- Oh, good.
That's good news.
- This is incredibly
nice of you.
- Well, there's a string
attached, a favor.
Now, you don't have to say yes.
- [Linda] It sounds bad.
- Oh, it's even worse.
New Year's Eve shindig,
the chamber of commerce.
I'm the newest member.
There's no way out.
- Ah, no way out for you.
- Oh.
Come on, have pity.
This isn't easy for me.
Dating and I are barely
on speaking terms.
I mean, I try to
do it every year,
but I'm really slipping.
- Well, I'm not dating at all.
And I don't plan to
till I'm about 100.
- All right, well,
I'll tell you what.
We won't call it a date.
All right?
Just friends.
- Just friends?
- Just friends.
- Here it is.
- Oh, I'll only be
there an hour or two.
This is a favor, not a date.
- It's also a party
and not a funeral.
- Well, I prefer this one.
- Well, it's too old
for me, much less you.
Now, you put this on.
- Oh, I look fine.
- You look like
you've spent the day
collecting fines
on overdue books.
- Well, I don't want him
getting the wrong message.
- And what would that be?
- That I'm enjoying this.
I like being covered up.
- Well, maybe we should get
a hood and some knee socks.
He'll enjoy the gesture.
- Oh, frankly, I don't care
whether he likes me or not.
- Well, honey, they are
not all like George.
There are plenty good ones
running around and alive.
And they love girls
in red dresses.
- I'm too nervous.
Why don't you go
with him instead?
- Oh, nervous is good.
Nervous.
Now, breathe in.
- [Linda] I'm not
ready for this.
- Oh, nonsense.
You look beautiful.
- Yeah, if you're going to
the Country Music Awards.
- [tongue clicks] I'm
gonna get my camera.
- [Linda] I'll bring
you some of those hats
and those do-dads.
- [Drew] Kazoos.
- Kazoos, right.
And Grandma'll let
you stay up late.
She'll bring out
the pots and pans.
- Oh, don't you worry about us.
We'll make some popcorn
and maybe watch some TV.
Right, Mandy?
- Right.
It's not too much?
- Hardly.
- Spoken like a true gentleman.
Now, go on.
Go on, you two.
There's far too much
gorgeousness going on here.
- I love you, I love
you, I love you.
- Bye.
- Happy New Year!
- Bye.
- Now have fun,
and I'll leave a pot
of coffee for you
before I turn in.
- [Doctor] Good night.
- Party!
[people talking]
[lively music]
- This is great.
- I lied.
- Happy New Year.
- Wow.
George, what are you doing?
- [Man] Happy New Year, George.
- Hey, Lou, how are you?
Good to see you.
Sabrina.
- Do you know Sid and Lucille?
- Hey, Doc, Doc.
- Yeah.
- Get on over here, Doc.
That wallet of your
needs thinning.
- Wow.
- What the heck is that?
- Oh, that's a garden
weasel, deluxe model.
So, how many can I do you for?
- How about five.
- [Sid] Hey, George.
- What are my odds, Sid?
- Well, considering you've
won for the last three years,
I'd say pretty good.
- Come on, Doc, make it a
little more interesting.
- There are a number of
valuable coupons inside.
- Hit me, Sid.
- [Sid] That's the way.
- Hello, George.
- Well, Linda.
What a surprise.
I was worried about you.
I thought you might be alone.
- Well, that's funny.
I wasn't a bit
worried about you.
Where's Ann Marie?
- Oh, she's off powdering that
pretty little nose of hers.
- Hi, everybody.
- Oh, well, here she is.
- Would you like to dance?
- Thank you.
- Hi.
[romantic music]
- I should have
brought you a corsage.
- It's not a date, remember?
- We won't tell George.
[beeper beeping]
Ugh.
I don't believe it.
Sorry.
- What have I got
to complain about?
No more bickering.
No more taking what
we have for granted.
I love you, Annie.
I'm the luckiest
guy in the world.
- Sounds like this
kid's got a broken arm.
I'm sorry.
You want me to drop you home?
- At 9:30 and put my mother
into a clinical depression?
Uh uh, I'm going with you.
- Ow, ow!
- I Know it hurts.
I know it hurts.
Bear with me.
- Ow, ow!
- Tommy, what'd you
get for Christmas?
- Galaxy 9.
- Galaxy 9
- Ow, ow!
- What level are you on?
- Station Septumus.
- No!
How did you get through
Canyons of Fire?
- Great new, champ,
worst is over.
You all right?
- Yeah.
- Ah!
I can't find the
appointment cards.
Can you call on Monday?
- That's fine.
- Tommy, leave some
room on that cast.
I wanna sign it.
- [Tommy] Cool.
- Thank you, Dr. Chandler.
Thank you for helping
him through it.
- Oh, don't thank me.
I'll be a hit at home.
I've got the secret
to Canyons of Fire.
- You were great.
All right, it's almost midnight.
What do you think,
back to the ball?
We can just about make it.
- Maybe we should
call it a night.
- And do that to your mother?
- Hmm.
[upbeat music]
[doorbell rings]
- Hey, Julie.
- Hi.
- [Mandy] Come in.
- Hi, Miss Sinclair.
- Oh, hi, Julie.
Hi, Annie, hi, Christy.
Happy New Year.
- [Julie] Hi, Drew.
- Hi, Julie.
- I love it when it's warm
like this on New Year's Eve.
I feel so exotic.
- So what are your resolutions?
- Get Willie out of his hutch,
work with Drew, and spend
more time with Mandy.
- I wonder what are
Linda's resolutions?
- Find a job.
- Come work for me.
- You're kidding.
- You saw the place.
You'd be doing me a favor.
- What do you pay?
- Well, what's your experience?
- Two years of fine arts.
- You're hired.
[Linda laughs]
[gentle music]
- What in Sam hill
are you doing?
- I had such a
good time tonight.
- Did I tell you to
wear that red dress?
- [laughs] It wasn't that.
It's just that it's New Year's,
and I'm for a new life.
Do you have your group number?
Thanks.
Oops, forgot to sign.
- All right, well get
his vitals, would you?
This shouldn't take long.
- Hi, Mr. Cheek.
I'm gonna take your
blood pressure,
and I'm gonna ask
you a few questions.
How you feeling?
Appetite?
Gas?
Heartburn?
Chest pains?
Date of your last period?
- Huh?
[both laughing]
- It was a prostate, Linda.
He was in for a prostate.
- Prostate.
I know.
I'm so sorry.
The words just kinda slipped
right outta my mouth.
I gotta go.
- Wait, wait, wait, don't.
Have dinner with me.
How about Chinese?
- I can't.
- Yeah, you can.
Takeout, I'll drive.
- Drew, Willie, Chinese!
- Great!
- They had a special
on fried squid brains.
We couldn't resist.
- [Mandy] Gross.
- Let me at 'em, I'm starved.
- I understand you're
an egg roll man, Drew.
- Drew, plates.
- Sure.
- Daddy's here.
Where's Drew?
- [Mandy] Drew?
- Drew!
Your dad's here!
- I'm not going!
- [Linda] Come on,
Drew, he's trying.
He's gonna take you sailing.
- You just wanna get rid of me
so you can screw around
with Dr. Kevorkian.
- Drew, it's just a date.
- Hey, I understand,
with Dad shacked up,
you want your turn.
- Never since the day
that you were born
have I put anyone ahead
of you, including myself.
- I just want things to
stay the way they are.
- Doesn't work that way, Drew.
Things change.
If you wanna stay truly alive,
you gotta go with it.
You'd be surprised what
happens when you do.
- Hey, Drew, let's go!
I'm renting this
sucker by the hour.
- [Linda] He's not coming.
- There we go.
Hi.
Look, Willie,
there's a porpoise.
- Where?
- It's right over there.
- That's a dolphin.
Where's Mandy?
- She's up front reading.
- That's the foredeck.
Front of the boat's
called the foredeck.
That's easy to remember.
Hey, kitten.
You ready for some adventure?
- Sure, Daddy.
- Good.
All right, here we go.
Adventure on the high seas!
[light cheerful music]
- It was weird enough
after Dad bailed.
I can't even handle this
new guy hanging around.
Everything being
totally different.
You're so lucky.
- You want something to eat?
- Nah.
- I hate seeing you so unhappy.
- It's nothing.
I'm okay.
[sweet music]
- Your turn.
- I need a nine.
- Go fish.
- Mandy.
How do you do this?
Okay, what do you need?
- I need a...
- Hi, Mom.
Thank you.
- What?
[both giggle]
[gentle music]
- I bring dessert.
- [Linda] What kind?
- Let's see what we have here.
Chocolate Fudge Brownie
or Holy Cannoli.
What's your pleasure?
- Holy Cannoli.
I'm never gonna be 25 again.
- Why would I want you to be?
- It's like this, Willie,
now, things change.
And when you change,
you start to be happy.
- I don't understand.
- He's talking about
your stupid rabbit suit.
- I think that's
enough for tonight.
[ship's horn blowing]
- I'm not Linda.
I'm not Einstein,
and I'm certainly
not Jacque Cousteau.
Porpoises or dolphins?
Do you think he cares?
- I gave up everything for you.
- I tried.
You wanted me to go
back to school, I did.
I read your books.
I listened to your music.
I'm the first to admit it,
you made me a better person.
But it's just not working.
We both know that, George.
I think you should move out.
- [Linda] Bring the napkins?
- [Mandy] Yup, and
the silverware.
- [Linda] Thank you, honey.
- [Mandy] What
drinks do you want?
- [Linda] I got a
cooler out back.
We're all full.
I think you better check it.
- Four years ago.
She died four years
ago of cancer.
We met in medical school.
- Any kids?
- No, no, it was too dangerous.
We were trying to
slow the disease down
as much as we could.
- You really loved her?
- Yeah, I did.
- Are you over it?
- As much as I can be.
As much as I wanna be, you know.
- Do you think you
could ever love my mom?
- Well, I tell you, Drew,
she's highly lovable.
We both just have
to wait and see.
[phone ringing]
- I'll get it.
- No, I'll get it!
- Ooh, boy.
I think you may have a
lawyer in the family.
- How did you do?
- Oh, I'm sure
he'll let me know.
- He's growing up.
- Mom.
It's Dad.
- Tell him I'm busy.
- How does your
mother like her steak?
- Mom!
You better come.
- He sounds crazy.
- George, what is it?
- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- [Linda] George.
- I should have treasured you.
No one will ever love
you as much as I did.
- George, you been drinking?
- I just called to say goodbye.
Tell the kids I love 'em.
I love 'em a bunch.
- George.
- But I just can't
fix what I did.
Okay?
And I just can't face
another day like this.
- George, where are you?
- Mom, what's he-
- [Linda] Shh.
- [Drew] Mom.
- George, don't hang up.
George, don't hang,
don't hang up, George!
Oh, it sounds
really, really bad.
- Do you have call return?
- Yeah.
- He's at the Old
Surf Side Motel.
- [Linda] Call the police.
- [Dr. Chandler] All right,
I'll call from the car.
- We're coming with you.
- No!
You're both staying right here.
Don't worry.
- We're going, come on.
Go get your bike.
- [Mandy] Wait for me.
Hurry.
- Mom? Drew?
Anyone?
[somber music]
[phone ringing]
Mommy?
Where are you, Mommy?
- [Grandmother] Willie?
Honey, honey, you
just stay right there.
You hear me?
I'm coming right now.
- Grandma?
[worried music]
- [Officer] Well,
what did he say?
You sure it was that room?
- He was in that room,
and he hasn't left.
- Wait, wait, Linda,
wait, wait, wait.
Don't go, wait!
Wait, Linda, don't go in there.
You don't know
his state of mind.
He could hurt you.
- He's their father, dammit!
- [Man] I don't think
he's gone anywhere.
You know, 'cause I was walking-
- [Officer] Ma'am.
[hand knocking]
- George.
George.
He's got a gun.
No, no, no.
Hi, George.
- I knew you'd come.
- George, I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize how
much trouble you were in.
- You're so good to me,
even now, after all
I've done to you.
- You were my best friend
for a lot of years.
- Well, I really
screwed up this time.
- George, put the gun down.
Put the gun down.
Please.
Please.
- [Officer] Hey, kids.
Come on now.
- I haven't got anything.
I lost it all.
- No, you got the kids, George.
You can't do this to them.
I won't let you.
- Don't make me live, Lin.
It's too hard.
I'm just not good
enough for my dreams.
There I've said it.
I'm just not good enough.
I'm not strong enough.
I'm not smart enough.
I'm just George Marsh.
I'm just...
I'm just the guy running
at the back of the pack.
The ass who'd rather
sacrifice his son,
who I love,
than admit the truth.
- And he loves you
too in spite of it.
He'll always love you.
- Daddy!
[loving music]
- Get that outta here.
No matter who comes
into your life
or my life, George, you
will always be their daddy.
There's no replacing you.
- Willie.
Willie?
Willie.
Willie?
Oh dear God, let him be safe.
Willie?
- [Officer]
Everything's all right.
All right, that's
gonna wrap it up.
[people talking]
- You're such a brave girl.
- Thanks, Mama.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
I'll call you.
Okay?
[gentle music]
Let's go home.
Where's Willie?
- Oh dear God.
I'll stop frosting my hair.
I'll give up those
weekends in Las Vegas.
I'll give up men.
[Willie laughing]
[hopeful music]
Willie!
Oh, Willie.
Willie, Willie.
Oh, thank you, Lord, thank you.
And thank you.
- Mrs. Rabbit, I presume?
- Um, maybe we could just
forget that last one?
[thunder clapping]
[peaceful music]
- You've really lost
it this time, Mom.
[Linda laughs]
- There's Venus,
the morning star
and the goddess of love.
- [Linda] Get ready.
Here comes, ah!
- [Willie] I saw it first!
- Cool.
- This is so neat.
- Just like the family
in the book, Mom.
- Just like the
family in the book.
- And we're not gonna fall off?
- No, my little bunny,
we're not gonna fall off.
- I'm not a bunny, Mom.
I'm a boy.
[peaceful music]
[fanfare music]