Reverse the Curse (2023) Movie Script

1
AD NARRATOR 1:
You can be in Waikiki.
Less than a day away
by Pan America.
NEWSCASTER 1:
For the explosion of
America's six atom bombs.
AD NARRATOR 2:
Kodak Signet 40 is the smartest
color slide camera you can buy.
NEWSCASTER 2:
Well, folks, to kill some time
here during this rain delay
ahead of the start
of this Boston Red Sox
versus New York Yankees
doubleheader,
a bit of backstory for you,
if you will.
Way back in 1918,
the Sox were the tops
and the Yankees cellar dweller.
That is until Boston owner
Harry Frazee fell in love
with the bright lights
of Broadway
and in order to finance
a long-forgotten musical,
"No, No, Nanette," for those
of you keeping score at home.
Frazee sold the best player
in the game,
George Herman Babe Ruth
to the Yankees
for the princely sum
of $100,000.
It's quite a high price
for a little tea for two,
wouldn't you say?
Well, Babe Ruth would go on
to become the king of New York
leading the Yankees
to World Series crown
after World Series crown
while Boston has not won
another title since.
Not one, zip, zero--
Dad. Dad, look at me.
...to the promised land.
Whee!
[MAKING ANIMAL SOUNDS]
NEWSCASTER 2:
...for the sin of dealing away
the best player
to ever lace up
a pair of cleats,
Boston will wander the desert
forever thirsty
until they find a way
to reverse the curse.
O say, can you see
By the dawn's early light
You know what else
I believe in?
The smooth rich taste
of Grand Slam cigarettes.
All players and fans agree
Grand Slam cigarettes
are a hit every time.
...through the night
That a flag was still there
O say does that star-spangled
Banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free
And the home of the brave
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]
Peanuts!
Peanuts, hey, peanuts, hey!
There you go.
Oh, there you go.
Hey!
Peanuts, here!
[CROWD CHEERING]
ASSISTANT:
Mr. Fullaker,
Miss Blauner will see you now.
Magnum Opie,
what's this novel about?
What's the plot?
Well, I think plot is a dead
19th century
bourgeois convention.
People love plots.
You dumped 756 pages
of crickets on me.
This is like
fake French New Wave.
You bashed me over the head
with a baguette for three hours.
Well, people--
People love baguettes.
Yankee peanut slinger
turned novelist
is a feel-good angle
for a venal agent like me
to exploit, but uh...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Here's the surprise skinny.
You're a real writer.
You're a goddamn writer.
But you have nothing
to write about.
You write like
you haven't lived.
You're an uninteresting
white man
living in uninteresting times.
You need something.
Some-- Some--
Something like a war
or a cataclysm,
some kind of an event.
Do you-- Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Yes, I'm Caucasian,
I'm uninteresting,
and I-- I need a cataclysm.
BLAUNER:
Exactly.
You haven't suffered
and it shows.
Well, I'm suffering right now,
so.
[CHUCKLES]
I got it.
You need to commit a crime.
Some sort of Dostoevsky
and Nietzschean transgression.
You need to commit a crime.
You need to get arrested.
You need to go to jail.
You need to get
fucked in the ass.
That's what you need.
That'll loosen you up, but good.
A good jailhouse fucking.
Are you taking notes?
Oh, no need.
I've got it all up here,
unfortunately.
BLAUNER:
Okay, good.
Go.
Go sally forth and suffer.
Youngish man.
Go break the law
and come back and show me genius
in five years.
Hmm?
[]
Hello, Goldfarb.
What's shakin', baby?
[CLINKS]
MAN [ON TV]:
In ordinary ways,
it is a crisis of confidence.
It is a crisis that strikes
at the very heart and soul
and spirit
of our national will.
[PHONE RINGING]
[TED COUGHING]
He-- Hello.
[TV CHATTER IN BACKGROUND]
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENIN BACKGROUND]
Theodore?
Theodore Fullaker?
Yes.
Your father's
gonna be fine tonight.
They pumped his stomach.
So he tried to kill himself?
Well, that's complicated.
Your father has lung cancer
and heart disease.
He's been given
less than a year.
He's declined any
further medical intervention.
You didn't know?
I uh, just found out recently.
When?
Very recently,
like when you just said it.
He was diagnosed months ago.
We're a close family.
Mariana Blades,
death specialist.
Death specialist?
That's terrifying.
MARIANA:
I've been working
with your father
as he confronts his death.
I had him write a letter
to the universe to burn it
as an exercise,
but he addressed it to you.
So I took the liberty
of finding you.
Uh, did you just smell my card?
No. No?
TED:
"I was conceived in 1918
on the night
"the Red Sox last won
the Series.
"Sixty years of failure
for me and the Sox
"and the curse of the Babe.
"But now, surely,
they will win this year
"and then, and only then
will I die and be redeemed.
The curse shall be reversed."
Are you kidding me with this?
He needs you.
He needs you to help him
finish his novel.
Novel?
Not a novel
he's actually writing down.
He's rewriting it in his mind.
A novel of his life.
I don't follow.
MARIANA:
Let me try and explain to you
your father's thinking
right now.
There are a million ways
to tell a life story.
As a comedy, as a tragedy,
as a profane fairy tale where
baseball teams keep you alive.
He's trying to tell you
his story in his way.
You can't--
You can't rewrite the past.
He's been a villain.
He's been a victim.
He's been a scapegoat.
Now he just--
He just wants to die a hero.
[MONITORS BEEPING]
TED:
Marty?
Marty, it's Ted.
Oh.
It's Ted.
It's Ted. It's Ted, your son.
Swen?
No, Ted.
It's your son Ted.
Son?
Yeah.
Come, come close.
Come.
Rosebud.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHING]
Look at your face.
Oh Teddy, it's good to see you,
you look like shit.
Stupid hair.
Yeah, I look like shit.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I got the cancer
which came as quite
a surprise to me,
'cause I bought the cigarettes
that were only harmful
to pregnant women and babies.
Uh-huh.
Misericordia.
OD'd on Seconal,
OD'd on quaalude.
And yet here I am,
immortal till October.
Oh yeah, I heard, Mr. October.
Yeah. You met Mariana, huh?
Mariana's a spic, you know?
Like Luis Tiant,
Roberto Clemente, Juan Marichal.
Don't-- Don't say that.
Don't say that word.
What, "Roberto"?
Don't say Roberto?
Not Roberto. You know the word.
Oh, spic.
That's just an abbreviation
for Hispanic
if you say it faster.
And they are fast talkers.
That's what you get Hispanic.
Spic. Hispanic.
That's not--
That's not an abbreviation.
Okay, stop.
It's racial epithet, more like.
It's-- It's offensive, right?
I think it's offensive.
Right?
That's right, Ted.
It is offensive.
TED: See?
Okay.
MARIANA:
But your father and I
are friends.
Amongst friends
words can change.
Epithets can sometimes
become endearments.
Mm-hmm.
MARIANA: Sometimes.
It's all in how you
tell the story.
Right? Honky?
[MARTY LAUGHS]
MARTY [LAUGHING]:
Honky.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
Yanks can't beat
the Sox at Fenway pitch.
Where are you, Marty?
I'm home.
They had to let me go
after three days.
Like Jesus.
That's nice.
[TED COUGHS]
Watching the game?
Yeah, I got it on.
COMMENTATOR 1:
Here's Yankee shortstop
Bucky Dent.
MARTY:
Bucky Dent? Ah, automatic out.
I wish they had
nine Bucky Dent's.
I like Bucky Dent.
He has a good glove.
Great contact hitter.
Sox are gonna blow it
like they do every year
since 1918.
Ah, my chest feels like
Thurman Munson's
jumping on it,
that fat clutch mother...
[COUGHS]
I renounce God for this cancer.
Why did he make
beautiful tobacco
if he didn't want us
to smoke it, huh?
Ironic bastard.
[MARTY COUGHING]
Hey, wait, you got somebody
staying with you, right, Marty?
MARTY [COUGHING:]
Huh? What?
No.
Maybe I should come to Jersey
and stay with you for a while.
Uh, just for like a--
A couple days.
MARTY [COUGHING]:
Yeah.
TED: Till you feel better.
Yeah.
Dad?
Yeah.
What do you think?
I said, yeah, damn it.
[DIAL TONE BUZZES]
[INDISTINCT COMMENTARY
IN BACKGROUND]
NEWSCASTER:
Well, folks, it's almost July
and the Sox
are dominating the East,
while the Bronx Bombers
seem more interested
in fighting amongst themselves.
MARTY:
There goes the neighborhood.
Nice luggage.
So how have you
been doing, Marty?
Aside from the cancer, terrific.
I piss vermouth
and shit silver dollars.
Well, that sounds lucrative
if not painful.
You should get it checked out.
MARTY: Oh, I am done
checking things out.
I'm done with doctors,
fucking fascists.
I also got a bit of the gout
and heart disease.
I actually had
open-heart surgery,
but it was unsuccessful.
My heart remained closed.
That's a good one.
This way for the--
The tour
of your illustrious past.
Yeah.
[HINGES CREAKING]
TED:
Oh God.
Marty.
[COUGHING]
MARTY:
Teddy, I'm gonna order
some dinner.
I'll order some pizza.
You want mushroom pizza?
Mushroom pizza.
[GAGS]
Can I help you with something?
Nah, I just like looking at you.
Oh, hey-- Oh, oh, no, no.
I have a system.
So I mean, do you want to--
Do you want to talk
about anything?
Do you?
It's cool. We don't--
We don't have to talk
if you don't want.
Sounds like you want to talk,
do you?
Do I-- Do I what? Want to?
Or do I not want to?
Yeah, I'm asking.
TED: Whatever you want.
MARTY:
Seems we are talking.
Are we?
My lips and tongue are moving
and I am forcing air
through my teeth.
TED:
Yeah, you're right.
That is commonly known
as talking.
We're talking about talking.
It feels good, don't it?
This father-son rapprochement
after a few years
of deafening silence
and unreturned phone calls?
Can't beat it.
You shouldn't smoke that shit.
Not with your lungs.
[LIGHTER SCRATCHES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
[LID POPS]
[INHALING]
MARTY:
Hmm.
TED:
Marty, Marty, Marty.
You win, you win, you win.
Look, you win.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
TED: You win.
[SPITS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[DOOR CREAKS]
[MARTY GROANS]
MARTY:
Losers and jokers.
Looks good, huh?
TED:
Yeah, that's good.
Hey, what was that, um--
What's that nurse's story?
What was it? It was Mary, Maria?
Mariana? Something Spanishy?
"Hey, something Spanishy."
TED: What?
[MARTY LAUGHING]
MARTY:
You goddamn well know her name.
It's probably
the only reason you're here
is the off chance
she might show up.
Probably sniffed her card.
Forget about her, though.
She's out of your league.
You don't have enough sap.
[MICROWAVE DINGS]
Okay.
Thanks for that.
Yeah.
How can there be
five channels?
Five channels
and nothing worth watching.
Mute, mute, mute, mute, mute.
You don't have
to say the word mute.
Just pressing the button
is enough.
Mute, mute, mute.
[GROANS]
I don't know why
you're so pissed at me, Teddy.
Your mother loved you enough
for the both of us.
It made you soft.
You got no fight in you.
Okay.
Well, Mom said I was
sick as a baby.
MARTY:
You got sick once.
One time.
And she overreacted
ever after that.
One little sniffle and here
came the hazmat suit.
Even if I wanted to,
I couldn't get through
all that smothering
mother love to get to you.
TED:
Yeah, well, maybe she gave me
all of her mother love,
because you wouldn't let her
give you any of her wife love.
Hmm?
You ever thought about that?
Well, there you go.
You should thank me.
Okay, thank you for what?
Thank me for with my coldness
and aloofness as a husband,
freeing up your mom to give you
all that mother love
that creates confidence
in a young man.
Yes, confidence. That's rich.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm an unpublished loser,
Marty, okay?
I'm-- I'm Mr. Peanut,
for crying out loud.
Hey, shut up.
You know, if anybody else
talked about you
the way you talk about
yourself,
I'd knock him on their ass.
Oh, my hero.
You know what we should do?
Maybe we should get the
seize-the-narrative-of-your-life
death-nurse here
to coach us on our story, right?
Because I don't buy any
of this new age bullshit, okay?
You cannot just change the story
because you don't like the way
that you come off.
I'm not your pimp, you ingrate.
Oh, well, that's how you feel?
I'm gonna pack my trash bags
and I'll go.
Well, just tell me what you want
me to apologize for and I will.
I don't have time.
I was a lousy husband
and a lousy father.
And so were millions
of other guys.
TED:
Oh, thank you for that.
That was really beautiful.
I especially love
the rationalization at the end.
It-- It really meant
a lot to me.
I'm sorry!
Okay, for what?
Okay!
What are you sorry for?
What?
Everything.
Just all of it.
Just universal blanket apology.
No. No, no blankets, okay?
That's cheating.
Okay, everything like what?
Blanket. I take the blanket.
TED:
See? You don't even know.
It's a million little things.
Sorry for a million
little things.
You happy now?
Yeah, sure.
Happy.
MARTY:
Jesus, Teddy.
You wear the ring
I gave your mother
on our wedding day
on your pinkie.
Yeah, well, she left it to me
in her will, so...
She didn't want you to wear it.
That's weird.
That's why
I gave it to Bonnie.
Who's Bonnie?
Who's Bonnie? My ex-wife.
Oh. Yeah.
TED: Fuck, Marty!
Yeah, she gave it back to me
after we split.
Do you remember that?
It's still not cool
for you to be wearing it.
Your mom wanted you
to give it to a woman.
What woman? Hmm?
Any woman with a vagina,
for the love of God.
Those kind of the ones
with the vaginas kind.
Yeah, well, it's vaginae,
not vaginas, okay?
It's Latin.
The plural of vagina is vaginae.
[LAUGHS]
Oh! Professor.
That is precisely
the type of comment
which will ensure
that you see neither hide
nor hair of a vagina
or a vaginae
for a very long time.
You know, it's almost as if
you want me to apologize to you.
Oh, I'm all ears, baby.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay, I'm sorry Mom loved me
more than she loved you.
Okay, I-- I really am.
In fact, you don't know
how sorry I am
and you will never know
how sorry that I am, Marty.
Enjoy your food.
[DOOR SLAMS]
I accept your apology.
NEWSCASTER:
Well, sports fans, it's August.
The dog days have arrived,
but the Bosox continue
to dominate the summer of '78
in their magical quest
to vanquish,
the ghost of Babe Ruth.
Dad, what--? What are you doing?
You know, during my infrequent
bouts of self-reflection
when I look back upon my life
and thought that what I've done
hasn't amounted to much.
Then I see it laid all out
before me like this.
All the years
making stupid people
want stupid dreck
they didn't need.
Well, it makes me want
to put a gun to my head.
[SIGHS]
TED:
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on.
A little dab will do ya.
Right? That's a classic.
Double your pleasure,
double your fun.
That's a-- That's a lasting
part of the culture.
Stop, you make me want to puke.
I was a little cog
in a big machine.
Hey, you being an ad man
put food on the table.
Put you through college.
TED:
Put me through college.
So you could throw peanuts
at Puerto Ricans.
And Dominicans.
Burn it all.
Bonfire the inanities.
You want, I can--
I can jump in there
with the rest of crappy output.
I don't think that's funny.
No?
A little doob will do you?
Are you high all the time, son?
No, no.
Oh, but that is my--
My ambition.
MARTY:
Ha-ha.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[COUGHING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
MARTY: Teddy, get the door.
I'm on the throne.
Yeah, yeah, I'll get it.
Oh.
Hello, the nurse of death.
Hi.
It's really nice of you
to come be with your dad.
For me?
For the house.
[MARIANA CLEARS THROAT]
So how long do you plan to stay?
Uh, until one of us
kills the other.
So like Tuesday.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You know, you look like
your dad under all that hair.
No, actually I look like my mom,
yeah, with a beard.
Hmm.
Well, she didn't have a beard.
Not as thick as mine.
But okay.
You know, there's nothing
wrong with being like your dad.
MARTY:
Oh, is that the lovely Mariana?
Ah, it's yoga time.
You kids are crazy
with the yoga.
Hey, Ted, check it out.
I do the Jewish-style yoga.
[MARTY CHANTING]
[CHUCKLES]
MARTY:
Ow!
Oh, my God.
MARTY:
Vey.
"The Doublemint Man.
"You've seen the Doublemint Man
on the street.
"You may not know it,
but you've seen him.
"A man who leads two lives
"not because of some chemically
mandated schizophrenia,
but out of a hot
conscious choice."
MARTY:
The Doublemint Man
wasn't looking for anything.
But on this Sunday, he was
having some control problems.
CATCHER:
All four, men on four.
MARTY:
His catcher Raul had
a quasi-religious respect
for the black magic
in his skinny right arm,
and though Raul was aware
that the gringo knew
very little Spanish,
he felt his arm
might be bilingual.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
MARTY:
And maybe Raul was right.
As I said, he wasn't looking.
He had a wife, kids,
a good job.
But in this woman's smile
was a rip
in the fabric of time,
and everything
he didn't know...
"He didn't know."
MARTY & TED:
"It was like that first fish
that was used to pulling oxygen
out of water."
MARTY:
Separating the O molecule
from the H2
and then suddenly,
a jump onto land
and nothing but pure
terrifying oxygen.
A fairy-tale man fish,
half in one world,
half in the other,
suspended happily
in the once killing air.
Hey, Edgar Allen Peanut,
go to work.
MARTY:
Rise and shine
And give God
Your glory, glory
Rise and shine
And give God
Your glory, glory
Rise and shine
And give God
Your glory, glory
Children of the Lord
The Lord said to Noah
There's gonna be
A floody, floody
The Lord said to Noah
There's gonna be
A floody, floody
Get those children
Out of the muddy, muddy
Children of the Lord
Animals, they came on
They came on
By twosies, twosies
Animals, they came on
They came on by twosies
Twosies
Elephants and kangaroosies
Roosies
Children of the Lord
Boston's up 5 1/2 games, Teddy.
Boston is up five and one half
games over the Yankees
you tristate area elites!
Okay.
You New Jersey nincompoops.
Okay, okay.
[LAUGHS]
Thank you. They've heard you.
How old are you, Teddy?
Thirty-three.
How the hell did that happen?
I don't know.
You don't look right for 33.
Thank you.
Something too old and too young
about you at the same time,
you know what I mean?
No, I don't.
[]
BENNY:
You see, you can't change
anything anyway
if you don't like it.
It's already cut.
I had a full head of hair!
Benny, Tango, Sam, Schtikker.
Whoa!
It's Marty!
Remember my adopted
daughter, Ted,
the peanut man
from Yankee Stadium?
I'm not adopted.
Ah look, one of only
12 vice presidents
of the seventh largest
ad agency
in all of southern New Jersey.
Back from the dead, Marty,
you look tremendous.
Loan me 50.
MARTY: Fuck you.
Hey, guys. How are you doing?
I'm not adopted, by the way.
This is Teddy,
the little splinter.
I remember when you're yea big.
Oy vey. Oh, what a beautiful
head of hair.
Would you--?
Would you like a trim?
Yes, he would. Yes, he would.
No, no, thank you.
I think you would look
very good with a James Dean.
Word to the wise, my friend,
Kojak over there,
he cuts his own hair.
BENNY: Oh!
Kojak? Every day with the Kojak.
Forget him, kidding.
Ow! what a grip like a vice.
So handsome, loan me 50.
[LAUGHS]
Girls, you like girls, Teddy?
Jury's out on that.
SCHTIKKER: Teddy, how about
some reading material?
Weed? Club? Penthouse?
BENNY: No, no, no.
You don't want that weed.
Penthouse!
BENNY:
That's too much.
Teddy, I read in TIME magazine,
true story.
I can guess your age by
sticking my thumb up your ass.
No, it's true, it's science.
Like rings on a tree.
Yeah, we plumbed your dad
a couple of weeks ago.
Still can't sit comfortably.
[LAUGHTER]
BENNY: Turns out he's only 60.
But my ass is 100.
Hey, and the squirrels have
a problem in the winter
because they got to put
their nuts up there, right?
[LAUGHS]
Jesus, Ted, who raised you?
[ALL LAUGH]
BENNY: Jesus.
The squirrels with the nuts.
Must be big city squirrels.
SCHTIKKER: Who loves you, baby?
[WHIRRING]
MARIANA:
Hello?
Okay.
Hello?
Hello?
Nurse of death.
MARIANA:
Oh, thank you.
It's yoga time.
Oh, he, um, he already
went back to bed, so...
Sox lost, huh?
Yeah.
Right, for the house.
MARIANA:
Okay, bye.
Yeah.
Hey, wait, wait a minute.
Um, you know, I do the yoga.
Oh, this feels so nice.
You're very tight.
Yeah, I think it's like,
I throw a lot of peanuts.
Well, tightness
is all the peace, right?
It's spiritual, it's emotional,
it's intellectual, it's sexual.
[COUGHING]
[SIGHS]
MARIANA:
So why don't we do um,
corpse pose?
Shavasana. That's how
we rehearse for death.
Oh, so ready.
[GRUNTS]
Hey, you like the Dead, huh?
Huh?
The-- The band you tattooed.
The Grateful Dead?
Oh, it's a band, huh?
Oh. That's weird.
I saw it in a tattoo parlor
and I thought it was cool.
A band?
Yeah, it's a band.
It's an institution.
Hmm.
Yeah, what about that one?
The Christ one?
Very talkative for a corpse.
Yeah, well,
I like to get to know people--
Yeah, you know what?
Don't ask me questions
about myself, okay?
That's not what
we're doing here.
I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
Wrong idea? I have no idea.
Okay, then it's one-way street.
Okay, I gotta go.
Oh.
"Box of Rain."
Yep.
MARIANA:
That's my favorite Dead song.
And "Sugar Magnolia"
is a close second.
And Jerry Garcia is a god.
Okay, bye.
MARTY:
Teddy, where the hell are you?
Ah, an hour of yoga
and the splinter's
a trout on a hook.
If the splinter cuts
that stupid hippie hair,
then I know
the splinter's a goner.
Can you stop referring to me
in third person, please?
And what is with the lid,
Captain?
You going lugeing or something?
Oh, there it is.
I've been looking
for this thing for 20 minutes.
When the Sox hit a skid,
I go for a swim at the Y.
I wash away their sins
in the holy water
of the Young Man's
Hebrew Association.
Come with me. You gotta drive.
They took my license.
Fucking fascists.
If anyone knows
how to drink and drive, it's me.
Oh.
You gonna get dressed?
Yeah.
You gotta get undressed first.
The splinter is aware of this.
Are you uptight naked
in front of your father?
No.
I changed your diapers.
I don't recall.
Are you serious?
I-I can't, okay?
Just turn around.
Turn your head. Turn around.
Come on.
It can't be any worse than this.
Look at this disaster.
I look like an old woman
with a dead sparrow
where my cock should be.
Behold.
What happened to your pubes?
Oh, that's another side effect
from the mess
the docs don't tell you about.
Penis baldness.
A bald schvantz.
The horror. Balls too?
Balls too, what?
Hairless.
As a couple quail eggs.
Now quit stalling
and take 'em off.
No, no, no. I can't.
Take 'em off or I will.
Hey, hey, don't.
Don't, stop. I can do it.
I can do it, okay?
Oh, God.
Okay? You happy?
You know for the record,
it goes without saying,
I was just swimming, okay?
That's a perfectly respectable
prick you got there, son.
[TOILET FLUSHING]
[COUGHING]
[MARTY COUGHING]
Stop coughing.
You stop coughing.
Hey, you know, Dad, I--
I've been--
I've been reading your novel.
It's really good, actually.
You were supposed to let
that piece of nonsense burn.
No, it's got some really nice
writing in it.
You should save it.
Yeah?
You know, when sometimes
you take a really nice shit,
you spend
some time admiring it,
but you still flush it down,
right?
Have you ever thought
about getting published?
Writing crap novels
didn't feed hungry mouths.
Sox lost again. Fuck.
[COUGHS]
Going back to bed.
[]
Hey, there-- There's Teddy.
Teddy!
Teddy! Hey!
Come on! Come on over here!
Come on.
It's the Splinter!
Hey!
Hey, Teddy.
Good morning, gentlemen.
How you doing?
Marty couldn't make it.
You know,
he's not feeling too good, so...
I knew we wouldn't
see him today.
Not when the Sox lose.
Yeah, if we did,
he'd be in that wheelchair.
BENNY:
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you mean
like psychosomatic, huh?
BENNY:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One time after the Sox lost,
I cut out a box score
from a game they won
and replaced it in the paper.
As an experiment, right?
Your dad came in
that morning in a wheelchair.
He fell asleep
while the Sox were down.
He figured they lost.
We told him they made a comeback
and showed him
the phony box score.
Guess what?
What?
Adis wheelchair, adis cane.
He walked home.
Nah, he danced.
SCHTIKKER: Cured himself.
Yeah, cured himself.
Who's telling the story here?
You have to interrupt?
TANGO SAM:
You, unfortunately.
Curse over cancer.
Curse over cancer.
BENNY:
Curse over cancer.
TANGO SAM:
Curse over cancer.
Amen.
MARTY:
The Ruskies dropped the bomb.
We're the only ones left.
Nothing exists
outside this dream.
No world, no people,
no sun, no moon, no time.
Just you and me.
10 1/2, 12, 10 1/2, shit.
8 1/2, 5, 1 1/2.
Hey. Wake-- Wake up.
MARTY: Even. Even.
Dad, Dad, wake up, wake up.
Ah!
Hey, hey.
Oh, Teddy.
Teddy, it was horrible, Ted.
What?
We had in August. We have to get
back in September.
What do we have to--
The lead, Teddy.
The Sox gave it all back
to the Yankees.
And I had to die.
Billy Martin came for
my soul like a damn Yankees.
Don't let it happen, Ted.
Don't let 'em give it all away.
Don't let me die.
O-- Okay.
Don't let me die.
Okay, Dad.
Don't let me die.
Please, don't let me die.
Don't let me die.
["EASY STREET"
BY AMANAZ PLAYING]
[ALARM BEEPS]
Get me down to Easy Street
If that's where
You wanna be
Feelin' groovy
Feelin' funky
Everyone on Easy Street
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
People say a lot of things
Down in Easy Street
Get together
Stand together
That's the only way to live
[BEEPING]
Come on, man.
NEWSCASTER:
Well, folks, with only
weeks left in the season,
the bickering Bronx Bombers
have overtaken
the Big Pit Bosox at the wire.
MARIANA:
What's on your mind, Ted?
Why'd you want to see me?
Well, the fucking
choking Sox are losing
and Marty's mental
and physical health is
literally depending on whether
the Sox win or lose.
Okay, so I am creating
a safe zone around Marty
where the Sox can't lose.
Benny, some turd farmer
keeps stealing my newspaper.
Well, you will be
the only one pleased to know
that the Red Sox won
and the Yankees lost.
Yes, yes, most certainly.
The prospects for ending
the curse of the Bambino
looked very rosy
for the Red Stockings of Boston.
And I, for one,
I'm for Clement.
I like the way this campaign
has been trending.
For Clement.
We're all for Clement.
Yeah, yeah, we all are.
MARTY: Ah, fantastic.
That's a pick-me-up.
That way he stays even keel,
you know?
Thinking the Sox have this
big lead that hasn't shrunk,
and gives us some time to,
you know,
keep him healthy until
the Sox get their shit together.
If Sox get their shit together.
Yeah, and I've got everybody
in this bubble, okay?
I've even got the boy
who delivers papers, right?
He's a Yankee fan.
We're bribing him,
giving him carte blanche
to curse all he wants, as long
as he acts like the Yanks lost,
whether they did or didn't.
BOY: Yankees lost.
Motherfucking French kiss
big boob nibble whore.
MARTY:
Wow.
I like this kid.
Yeah, okay, okay.
Pull it-- Pull it back.
Hey, tomorrow's another day.
It's a long season.
Eat my balls, Red Sox.
Boob penis.
Boob penis, indeed.
And look,
if Marty gets wise to it,
I'll just create rainouts.
So there won't be any games
for the Sox or the Yanks.
Just keep him in that house.
Time stands still.
Right. What about TV?
Don't you guys watch
the games on TV?
I took the tube out of the TV.
Goddamn TV's only 15 years old
and it's broken already?
Fascists!
TED:
And you,
you are the only other person
that sees it regularly, so...
Welcome to the Fullaker
bubble of safety. Yeah?
See, I just-- I didn't want you
to inadvertently
give away the standings
or the real dire situation
and blow me by mistake.
You're gonna have to sit with
that one a while.
He's your father, Ted.
You don't need my permission
for anything.
But remember, death is the only
part of the story
we can't rewrite.
And don't worry,
I won't blow you.
Not even by mistake.
See you!
[]
MARTY:
Yes.
Boob penis.
Go Sox!
Ass nipples, penis hole,
naked sex,
fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Ass nipples?
You hear that, Teddy?
Ass nipples, baby,
you know what that means.
Go Sox!
Okay, you kids,
enjoy your walk.
No, newspapers.
[MOUTHS]
I know.
And make sure he wears a--
A hat.
Okay, Marty?
Remember your hat, okay?
[WHISPERS] No TV.
No radio.
[LOUDLY] Okay, bye!
MARTY:
Bye, Mom.
Okay, time to change
the weather.
[]
Come on, Jeffrey, right here.
I got-- I got everything
in the back, okay?
There's a ladder
waiting for you, okay?
Get right up there.
You know what to do...
[WHISPERING]
MARIANA:
Bye, Marty. See you tomorrow.
TED:
Oh, hi.
I'm-- I'm so glad that
you guys made it back
before the big storm.
Yeah, real whopper coming,
Annie M.
Better batten down the hatches.
Bye!
Bye!
MARTY:
It is fixing to blow!
[MARTY COUGHING]
That's a gate drug.
TED:
Narc. It's for the pain.
What pain?
Exactly. How's your pain?
I don't have any pain.
Fathers don't get to have pain.
Why are you acting
so weird, man?
Are you-- Are you doing
the cocaine now too?
Nothing, man.
What are you doing?
[THUNDER CRASHES]
Jesus, that sounded like
it was close.
[RAIN PATTERING]
It's weird.
It was so nice out for my walk.
Yeah.
It's really coming down.
Yeah, yeah.
It's gonna be a-- A rainout.
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Day off for Mr. Peanut.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[]
There's nothing better
on a rainy day.
Oh, I've heard about this.
This is what they call,
"peer pressure."
TED: Yeah.
That leads to harder stuff.
That's a gate drug.
Okay, gateway.
Come on. Come on!
All right,
but do not tell Mariana, okay?
'Cause she will kill me.
You didn't raise a snitch.
All right. Come on.
I'm gonna shotgun it.
That sounds dangerous.
Yeah, open up.
I want that.
TED:
Hold it. Hold it in.
How long?
Now, now, now, now.
[BLOWS]
[CHUCKLES]
Nothing.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Don't touch me.
Where do they hide this stuff?
It's fantastiche.
They don't hide it.
It's marvelous.
Give me the phone.
I need to make some calls.
I want to tell
the world about it.
TED: No, the world knows.
Hello, Mr. President.
The world knows, Dad.
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHING]
MARTY: Teddy.
Yes, yes, Marty.
Can't feel my arm.
Oh, well, I can see,
it's still there.
No, no, no, no.
It's actually, it's fantastiche.
Usually, it throbs like, uh--
Like an angry jellyfish,
but now because of the reefer,
it's like it's just floating
there on a bed of cotton candy.
What's so funny?
You know you're named after
Ted Williams?
The splendid splinter.
That's why you're
the little splinter.
Did you just say reefer?
[BOTH LAUGH]
MARTY:
Teddy, watch.
Look at this.
This is a latch.
[MIMICS GATE CREAKING OPEN]
It's a gate.
Opening, open the gate.
Now I'm walking
through the gate.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Thanks, Marcel Marceau.
It's gateway.
Teddy, let me explain
something to you.
I must have all your marijuana,
because my reality is abysmal.
Ergo, why remain in it?
While you, on the other hand,
should not have any marijuana,
because old as you are,
you have not made
your true reality yet.
Therefore, that negates
the need to escape from it.
You're escaping from something
that doesn't exist yet.
And I'm not even referencing
your failed marriage.
Forget her. Fuck her.
She doesn't exist, okay?
Okay.
But if you remade,
if you remade your reality
and you found it to your liking,
then that would negate the need
to escape from it
through the use of marijuana.
And if you remade your reality
and found it not 100 percent
to your liking,
then you could come to me,
your father,
because I would have
all your marijuana
that you just gave to me
in this moment right now.
And then I would gladly share
that marijuana back with you.
I'm exhausted.
[LAUGHS]
You win. Okay?
You win it all. All of it.
All of the reefer is yours.
Hey, I wanted to--
I wanted to uh--
I wanted to tell you
that I'm almost finished
reading your-- Your novel.
And I just,
I'm loving the collagist,
postmodern pastiche stuff.
It's-- It's super cool.
I mean--
And underneath there's a--
There's a skeleton
of a book there.
There is, you know?
And I'm even digging
the star-crossed
Romeo and Juliet plot,
you know, of all things.
I mean, the writing,
it's lived in.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's lived in.
[CLEARS THROAT]
It's not a novel.
What do you--
What do you mean?
It's a journal, Teddy.
My life at the time,
I just wrote it up
in artsy-fartsy novel form
and threw in some curve balls
to throw the snoops
off the scent.
Snoops, you mean Mom, me?
A journal? What do you mean?
Wait, wait, you mean it's true?
The story about this--
This Eva woman?
Did you love her?
What does the book say?
What?
Why didn't you--
Why didn't you leave then?
'Cause it wasn't right. Okay?
That's when I got into the Sox.
Buy me some time
during the day
when I could sit
and daydream about Eva.
Nobody could bother me
when I was watching the Sox.
Remember, Teddy?
I could be elsewhere,
you know, anywhere.
Disappear into
my own mind for years.
And then one day I found
that I wasn't thinking about
Eva Maria Gonzalez so much.
I was thinking about the Sox.
Maybe the Sox and Eva
had merged and become one.
At any rate, after a while
it just didn't seem
to hurt so much anymore.
So you-- You--
You checked out of both worlds,
hers and ours?
This isn't an apology, son.
My life was shit
and I made it that way,
because that's what I deserved.
Well, that may be
what you deserved,
but we--
We deserved more from you.
Mom and me.
I don't want to fight anymore.
I can't help your mother.
God rest her soul.
She deserved better and I wish
I could have talked to her more
when she was alive,
but I didn't.
And you, whatever...
Whatever you need or needed...
can't you just believe that...
Can't you just make believe
that I'm giving it to you
or I gave it to you?
Can you do that for me, Teddy?
Can you--
Can you lie for us?
Can you lie for me?
I gotta go to bed.
I think I smoked too much
of the reefer.
NEWSCASTER:
Well, folks, with only
eight games left to play,
the Yankees are still holding
off the Cinderella Sox.
Do you hear the chimes
of midnight, Boston?
Dunellen.
[]
So many Gonzalezes
and not enough dime.
Hola, is Eva Gonzalez there?
Por favor.
Hola, is Eva Gonzalez there?
No Eva Gonzalez aqui?
You don't speak English? Hello--
No, no, I don't speak Spanish.
[LIPS SPUTTER]
Does your father know that
you're looking for this woman?
No.
Hmm.
I just-- I just want to know
what is real and what is not.
I want to know why, or meet--
Meet the reason
why my father checked out.
Maybe I just want to know
why I'm-- I'm absent too,
you know, like my--
My father, or not, uh...
Whatever. This...
This hole inside of-- You know,
why I give up so easily?
At what?
At everything, everything.
My marriage, life, my writing.
I mean, I think this
is above my pay grade.
I'm a death specialist,
not a life specialist.
See, that is-- That's fucked up.
That's where I-- I just think
you're wrong, you know.
I think that--
Sorry, but I think that your--
Your seize-the-narrative stuff
is too abstract, you know.
I'm-- I'm the guy who's saying
let's really do it.
Let-- Let's help Marty
rewrite his love story.
Let's change this tragedy
into a fairytale, right?
I think your hope
and ambition...
are beautiful.
And ridiculous.
[LAUGHS]
Which is a winning combination.
TED:
I got nada Spanish.
So I might need a little help
tracking down this Eva Gonzalez.
How do you say building?
[IN SPANISH]
Camarn.
I just love all these post-war
camarns.
That's really good, Ted.
What about that car?
Uh, that's...
[IN SPANISH]
Culo.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I-- I know it's wrong,
but I just love all those
big old gas-guzzling culos.
[SNICKERS]
Eva Gonzalez?
Here you are.
Thank you.
TED:
Eva? Eva Gonzalez?
Eva Gonzalez?
Is that your big plan now?
You're just gonna
yell her name?
You think that's gonna work,
Nancy Drew?
No.
I guess they had a deal
about this other woman,
Eva, your mom and dad, and you.
No, there was no deal.
My mom didn't know
and neither did I.
I'd say you both knew enough
not to want to know more,
which is totally understandable.
But the problem
with getting into the habit
of not knowing what you know
is that eventually you lose
touch with what you do know,
and you don't know it anymore,
and then you don't know
what you know, you know?
And then when you remember,
it can be a very
unpleasant surprise.
Wait, were you
just speaking Spanish?
'Cause I didn't understand
a thing you said.
Yes, you did.
Eva!
[LAUGHS]
E-- Eva Gonzalez!
Eva!
Eva!
MARIANA: Eva Gonzalez!
Eva Gonzalez!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[THUNDERING, RAIN PATTERING]
Come on, boys,
bring the thunder.
MARIANA:
Okay, little Lord Fenway.
I'll tell you
something personal.
Yes. Finally.
I wanted to be an FBI agent.
Why, you narc?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Why?
I had a lot of anger
in my life at one point,
'cause I wanted
to feel protected
or wanted to be the protector.
And I even went down
to Virginia
and started my training,
and I asked my instructor,
"What's the most important thing
you can tell an agent?"
And he said, "If you get shot,
you don't have to die."
I-- I don't get it.
'Cause they see
a lot of agents who die
from gunshot wounds
that aren't fatal.
Because your brain
sees the bullet and the blood
and goes, "Oh, I've been shot,
now I die."
That's good shit.
And that's when I realized
that the mind is a much more
powerful protector
than a bullet.
And I made a change.
From narc to death nurse.
[LAUGHS] That's a story I wish
I could write.
Well, you can't,
'cause it's mine.
And if you do, I'll shoot you.
Hmm.
BOY:
Ass nipples!
Fucking big titty rainout!
Fuckity fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck!
[CHUCKLES]
TED:
I've written
12 unpublished novels.
Again, not to brag,
but I don't--
I do think I might have the--
The record for peanut vendors
who-- Who write.
MARIANA:
Hmm. That shows...
Delusion?
Hmm, perseverance.
Purity.
And delusion.
Seor Peanut! Whoa.
Seor Peanut! Aqui!
Ah, yeah, s, s!
Ah, yeah.
Aqui. Cacahuete.
Cacahuete. Yeah. I'm famous.
Seor Cacahuete!
[LAUGHING]
These are my people.
Mr. Peanut!
I'm like the Beatles of legumes.
You can't take me anywhere.
These are my people.
MAN: Quick catch!
TED: That's right!
Hi, hello.
Your eyes...
Splinter?
No. Eva Gonzales?
MARIANA:
Holy shit.
It worked.
Come on, Dad.
What have you got to lose?
She said she wants to see you.
I thought, you know,
maybe you could get
some of that,
uh, what's that word you use?
Closure.
Closure! Closure.
Closure's for morons.
Spiffy, spiffmeister
looking spiffy.
I look ridiculous.
I look like a vertical corpse,
like a pterodactyl.
People love dinosaurs.
You look super fly,
Mr. Fullaker.
I would be proud to be
on your arm.
Spiffmeister.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
Hello?
[]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER
AND LAUGHTER]
I cook for you!
[ALL LAUGHING]
I thought he was cute.
He was really cute.
TED: What happened?
EVA: I don't know,
but I liked that haircut.
You want me to help you with it?
I'm giving it right back.
I kind of think I look like
I'm his son.
[]
[GASPS]
Oh, my...
Those are good-looking people.
EVA:
We were so young.
So for how long
were you guys together?
MARTY:
Oh.
How long together?
We were never together
in the first place.
We were both married.
My husband died 15 years ago.
I was a very moral, amoral man.
What about the journal?
Can't believe
everything you read.
TED:
I just feel a little weird,
like I'm betraying
my mother kind of.
MARIANA:
No, it's very beautiful.
And I'm kind of proud of my boy.
He's saying something.
Come on, come on.
[EVA SPEAKING SPANISH]
[WHISPERING] Come on.
[MOUTHING]
Stop! No!
I need a translator. Come here.
I need a translator.
They're so goddamn cute.
[EVA SPEAKING SPANISH]
What-- What'd she say?
What'd she say?
She says even the old lion
is still a king.
It's very Telemundo,
but surprisingly effective.
TED:
Mm-hmm.
"That's right, lover.
I've dreamed of your touch."
What?
That's what she said.
Oh. Oh, right.
[EVA MOANING]
[MARTY CHUCKLES]
EVA:
Papi, do it, papi.
"Yes, Daddy. Do it, Daddy."
Okay, it was half in English.
Maybe we should...
[EVA MOANING]
Right now, she's basically
giving him ownership of her ass.
Signing over the deed.
Yeah, okay, I got the--
I got the gist, thank you.
Let's-- Let's go for a walk.
Let these frisky kids
have some privacy.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
I can hear culo now?
Why are they talking about cars?
I don't know. Your dad's Spanish
is quite sincere and specific.
He's saying that--
Okay, no, no, no, no.
No specifics.
I don't need specifics.
EVA: Ay, papi. Ay, papi!
No, no, no papi.
I can't-- I can't unhear this.
I need to get out of here.
I'm dizzy. My ears are bleeding.
I will-- I will wait for you
in the culo, okay?
[SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[MOANS AND LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
Alone at last.
MARTY:
Yeah, I thought those kids
would never leave.
[]
[GRUNTS AND COUGHS]
Was I such a bad man
back then, Teddy?
No.
You weren't
such a bad man then.
[COUGHING]
[CRYING]
[]
[BABY CRYING]
[GASPS]
[COUGHS]
What the hell?
[]
You've got to be kidding me.
How bad can it be, right?
How bad can it be?
[]
Dad?
[CAR HORN BLARES]
MAN:
Hey asshole, get off the road!
Dad?
Oh, shit.
Dad? Dad?
Dad?
[PANTING]
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
Oh, they blew it.
Losers.
They blew it all.
Losers.
Losers.
[GRUNTS]
Dad?
Dad! Dad!
Dad. Dad.
No more lies, Teddy.
No more lies.
[MARTY GRUNTS AND COUGHS]
Some-- Somebody help us!
Please call an ambulance!
[COUGHING]
Help!
Help us!
[SIREN WAILING DISTANTLY]
[MONITORS BEEPING]
TED:
You were right.
It's a stupid bubble.
When the bubble burst,
he couldn't take it.
It's all my fault.
Maybe.
But ultimately,
this isn't about you.
Well, goodbye, Ted.
Goodbye?
I can't do anything
for your father now.
It's not personal.
Oh-- Okay, last night
felt pretty personal.
It was.
And it was beautiful.
But it was a mistake,
and unprofessional of me
to get involved like that.
You can report me if you want.
Oh, okay, yeah, I'll report you
for blowing me by mistake.
Okay? That's what I'll do.
I'm s-- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I-- I--
I'm trying to get to know you.
You know, I just need
a little bit more time.
I'm rusty at this--
This boy-girl thing.
Why?
Why do you want
to get to know me, huh?
'Cause you want to be
my savior now too?
No.
You want to make my team win?
You want to make it rain
when I want a rainy day
and take all my suffering away?
Just put me in a little
pain-free bubble,
like a little fucking princess.
Well, go ahead. I'm waiting.
Make me a promise.
Do you have that power?
Do you?
I didn't think so.
And make no mistake.
I don't help people live.
I help them die.
Everybody's dying.
NEWSCASTER:
Well, sports fans, after
tanking much of September,
Boston is holding on tight,
only one game behind
with three to play.
Do you believe in fairy tales?
[MONITORS BEEPING]
MARTY:
Baseball is the only game
that death is jealous of.
Baseball defeats time.
Only baseball
has the possibility
of going on forever.
Peanuts!
MARTY:
As long as you don't get
that third out
in the ninth inning,
there's a chance you could win.
A chance that you could
play on.
A chance that
you will never die.
TED:
Sox made up the game, Dad.
They're still in there.
See?
I'm not making it up.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
"We regret to inform you."
I regret you.
I regret every one of you.
Every one of you.
[]
Hey, Dad.
Just digging around
in the basement.
And guess what?
Guess what I found?
We're gonna wake up today.
Okay?
[HOWLS]
[GRUNTING]
[MIMICKING MONKEY GIBBERING]
O say, can you see
By the dawn's early...
Early light
What so proudly we hailed
NEWSCASTER:
Well, folks,
if you're a Red Sox fan,
this is nightmare
material for you.
After 162 games and 60 years
of being removed
from the promised land,
the Red Sox and their
dreaded rivals the Yankees
will have to play
a tiebreaker game
to see who will advance...
Now that is some of your
best work, Benny, my boy.
Teddy, you did the right thing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
No, don't beat yourself up.
It's a beautiful thing
you did for your father.
Ask Schtikker
why he carries that purse.
Tell the kid
why you carry the purse.
It's my wife's.
Yeah, and how long
has she been dead?
Ask him how long
she's been dead, Ted.
How long has your wife been--
Ten years.
Ten years.
Ten years.
Death cannot beat love.
Death cannot beat love.
TANGO SAM:
Just like the Sox
can't beat the Yankees.
Loan me 50.
Hey, Dad,
playoff's in a few days.
Now, you can wait
for the Sox to win
to rise up out of that bed,
or you can get up right now
and come with me to Fenway.
Do you smell that? Huh?
Smells like Boston.
Smells like baseball.
Smells like the end of a curse.
Huh?
Come on, Marty.
[MONITORS BEEPING]
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry I'm such a screwup.
I'm sorry...
Mr. Peanut
not splendid splinter.
I-- I got in your way.
I got in the way
of your writing.
And I've...
And I'm sorry I abandoned you,
and I punished you,
and so many things.
[SOBS]
Forgive me, Dad.
Forgive me.
Forgive me a million things.
Did you say two tickets?
[TIRES SCREECH]
TED: Fenway or bust!
Ooh, look at this.
From Mariana. Isn't that nice?
Oh, Lord, look at that.
I'm good.
Don't you know what it means
when a woman makes you food,
you idiot?
I'm sure she cooks
for lots of people.
Well, if she does, it's none
of your goddamn business, is it?
Fine with bologna.
Mm. More for me.
Those fried bananas,
how are they?
Pltanos, jackass.
It's like eating an angel's ass.
Here, try some.
No, no.
Come on.
No.
Dummy.
Fuck chemo.
This food is gonna cure me.
I am starting to feel
like my old self, you know that?
[COUGHS]
Maybe not entirely a good thing.
[LAUGHS] You got a cold?
No, it's just my old cough.
I've always had it
since I was a baby.
Yeah.
Baby.
Here, wear my scarf.
It's-- It's 80!
You're 80.
You're 10.
I don't need this.
What are you doing?
I'm feeling good.
The air.
Mm.
Let's not take the highway.
What, back roads?
Yeah, we got a few days.
Take the road not taken, huh?
Sure. Let's get a little lost.
Yeah?
You better know where
you're going, Mr. Boston.
Where do you think
You're going to?
And the road you're taking
Has no end
Kelly, my friend
Come back to me
MARTY:
If you don't make
a play for her,
you'll be masturbating
to her memory
for the rest of your life
and die alone.
Mm. That's nice.
That's really nice.
Just the paternal wisdom
that I've been yearning for.
Father knows breast.
Take it or leave it.
Yeah! I think I'll leave it.
MARTY:
I never saw her laugh
till you showed up.
What?
MARTY: Mariana.
She never laughed
at any of my stuff.
I'm too mean.
You're not mean like me.
I never saw her laugh
till she laughed at you.
At me?
Oh.
At you, with you,
inside you, in front of you.
Who cares? She was laughing.
Nothing beats
making a good woman laugh.
Uh, so hey,
where am I going up here?
Where do I-- Where do I go?
I don't know.
Well, this is getting to be
your neck of the woods.
No, it's not.
You're from outside Boston, Dad.
No, I'm not.
The journal says you were born
outside of Boston,
and you, as a young man,
traveled all around New England
on your Triumph motorcycle.
I can't ride a motorcycle.
Yeah, but you were born
in Boston.
No, I've never even been there,
actually.
What? What?
What?
Why are you a Sox fan?
I grew up in New York,
and I lived in Jersey,
and I like rubbing people
the wrong way.
[COUGHING]
Will you wear the scarf, okay?
Just take the-- Take the scarf.
Dad, forget your scarf!
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV]
Teddy, call Animal Rescue.
Huh? Why?
I think there's a wounded
duck in here.
[FARTS]
Oh, jeez, Dad!
[LAUGHS]
Oh!
Oh, well, I love fried bananas,
but--
[FARTS]
But they don't love me.
Sorry, it's just self-defense.
Oh, that is wretched.
That smells like coffee,
peanut butter, blue cheese,
and death.
Well, sorry. Wait for it.
[FARTS]
Oh!
Not sorry.
Next stop, bean town.
[FARTS]
Oh!
Jinx, jinx.
[LAUGHS]
Coming in hot.
[FARTS]
Oh, that sounded
like a question.
Well, there's your answer.
[FARTS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
It smells like an aquarium
fucked a sock in here.
[LAUGHING]
I'm gonna call the front desk
and complain about us.
No, no, no,
it's just a couple of assholes
trying to talk to each other.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[FARTING]
Oh! Ooh. Uh-oh.
Whoopsie.
Okay.
["SUNDAY MORNING"
BY AMANAZ PLAYING]
Sunday morning
I was sitting outside
I saw Maggie
Coming on nowhere to me
She said
She tells me she loves me
Hey.
Right in my hand.
Yeah, that's a nice catch, Dad.
MARTY:
You know, leaves don't
actually turn colors.
The colors are already in them.
They're just covered
by so much green chlorophyll.
Well, when winter's come,
and they conserve energy,
the trees stop making
so much chlorophyll,
and it's then
that the reds and the browns
and the oranges become visible,
but they were always in there.
Just took impending death
to make them known.
Come on, boy.
It's fucking nature.
Best teach.
[CHUCKLES]
[COUGHS]
Stop coughing.
[COUGHING CONTINUOUS]
Stop coughing.
[COUGHING]
Stop coughing!
Okay!
I hate that godforsaken cough.
I'm not doing it
to piss you off.
I've-- I've always had it.
You know that.
I know, I know, I know.
I know.
[COUGHING]
Teddy. Teddy, I can't breathe.
Teddy, I can't breathe.
I need air.
Let me out of the car.
Okay, hold on.
Can you pull over?
Okay, I'll pull over.
Please, please.
I need air.
Just one second.
I need air.
Okay, okay.
MARTY:
Stop the fucking car.
Teddy.
[COUGHS]
Do you want your oxygen, Dad?
No, no.
Dad, the oxygen.
No!
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
TED:
Dad, you-- You okay?
When you were 9 months old,
you got your first cold.
Your mom and I were new parents.
We didn't know what to expect.
We didn't want to rush
to the doctor
with every little sniffle,
so we-- We waited.
But you didn't get better.
You-- You stopped smiling.
We brought you to the doctor,
and he gave me this look like,
"Why the fuck did you
take so long?"
They rushed you to the hospital.
You had double pneumonia,
and they gave you
intravenous antibiotics,
and they gave you a spinal tap.
They put this big, thick needle
in your little back.
You tried to cry, and...
But your throat was so raw
from all the crying
you'd already been doing.
You didn't make any sound.
It was just a kind of
a silent scream,
and I wanted to kill myself.
Doctors couldn't figure it out,
but I-- I knew you were dying.
I knew it.
So I waited for them to leave,
and I--
I leaned into your little face.
I said, "Come out of him,
you weak Nazi motherfucker.
"How dare you hurt a child?
"How dare you
attack a little boy?
"Come out of him and into me.
Get out of his lungs.
I command you,
and get into mine."
And I-- I inhaled you.
[INHALES AND EXHALES]
I saw a darkness
open up in front of me...
and it was the darkness
of the world if you died.
And I saw there was
no getting over losing you.
There was no coming back
from that for me.
That I might live,
but life would have no meaning
or joy ever again.
It's all right, Dad.
I-- I-- I lived.
Yeah.
I lived.
You did. You did.
But I-- I couldn't
love you like that again.
[SNIFFLES]
I got too scared.
I got too scared
to love you like that.
I was a coward.
And I think that
as a child you sensed that...
that my love was off.
And it broke you.
[SOBS]
It broke you in a place
that's too deep to be fixed.
I'm so sorry, Teddy.
I should have
never been a father.
Forgive me.
Yeah.
[CRIES]
Forgive me.
That's why Mariana
and I clicked.
You mean-- You mean Eva?
MARTY:
No, Mariana. She--
She lost an infant daughter
to pneumonia.
That's-- That's the tattoo
on her ankle.
The little girl's name
was Christina.
We understood each other.
We both got stuck in a moment.
We both got too scared
to love again.
Come on,
let's get back in the car.
[]
[IGNITION STARTS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
REPORTER: Who's gonna win?
We are.
[ALL CHEER]
REPORTER: One thing is certain.
These are the greatest fans
in the world
here in October
for the World Series.
Dave Rodman in the bleachers
here at Fenway Park.
Right, gang?
[ALL CHEER]
Hey, hey, hey!
ANNOUNCER:
Well, folks, this is it.
Call it what you will
from the annals of history,
the Rubicon, Waterloo,
whatever you choose.
It's do or die
for the Boston Red Sox
and the New York Yankees,
who have ended
the 1978 campaign
with identical records
of 99 wins and 63 losses.
And later today...
[COUGHS]
a one-game playoff loss.
Only the second ever...
MARTY:
Boy, this is a beautiful
parkway so close to Boston.
Keeps seeing signs
for the water.
Think we can make the shore?
Do you think
we have time to stop?
Yeah, well, we missed
the national anthem.
Big deal.
I want to see the water.
You bet.
I, for one, feel lucky
to be alive to watch
history being made
on this partly sunny
and brisk October day.
All right, now time
for our starting lineup.
For the New York Yankees,
leading off, the center
fielder, Mickey Rivers,
followed by the captain,
the catcher, Thurman Munson.
Batting third,
the right fielder,
Sweet Lou Piniella,
followed by the designated
hitter, Reggie Jackson.
Always a threat.
Following Jackson, the DH
is the third baseman,
Graig Nettles.
Then, of course,
the first baseman,
batting seventh is Roy White.
Then the tried-and-true
veteran,
second baseman, Ryan Doyle...
Game's started, Dad.
We should go soon.
Let's go, Sox.
TED:
We should get headed to Fenway.
MARTY:
Yeah.
Can't we just stay here
another minute?
It's so nice.
This is what looking at life
through death is like, Teddy.
No sweat.
All beauty.
I wish I'd been dying
my entire life.
...followed by the first
baseman, George Scott,
batting eighth, and rounding
out, batting ninth...
[SIGHS]
Corpse pose.
Oh.
We should really get going, Dad.
Dad?
[GASPS]
[]
ANNOUNCER:
A home run by Yaz.
Yaz! Yaz!
Holy shit, what--
What inning is it?
It's the third.
TED: The third?
MARTY: We're up!
TED: Shit!
MARTY: Yaz!
TED: Let's go.
It's the third, yeah.
MARTY: We're up.
TED: Dad, come on.
We got to go. Hustle.
MARTY:
This is me hustling.
ANNOUNCER:
That'll bring up
the third baseman,
Graig Nettles.
0-1 on the day is Nettles.
Here's the pitch.
TED:
I can't believe we missed
half the game,
'cause you had to have
a nap by the fucking water.
MARTY:
Well, I'm sorry,
I'm dying of cancer, Teddy.
Who made these road signs,
Franz fucking Kafka?
Dad, where are we?
Why don't you have a map?
We had a map.
I let you throw the map away,
because I thought
you were from Boston.
Life doesn't come with a map,
Ted.
That's not helpful.
Says you.
...is first at bat,
and pops this one
out to second.
Burleson able to block out
the sun and makes the catch.
MARTY:
You suck, Bucky.
Dad, I got the munchos.
I need seven more Twinkies,
stat.
It's the munchies, Dad.
Right.
Hot damn!
Think we can score some hash?
No. No, we cannot score
any hash.
Absolutely not.
I don't even know
if we're in Massachusetts.
I think we're in
fucking Vermont.
MARTY:
I know exactly where we are.
We're gonna be there
in time for the ninth
when Yaz squeezes
Thurman Munson's weak pop fly
and we celebrate
with the Boston faithful.
Shotgun.
Oh!
Okay, that's it!
Oh, burned my tongue.
Okay, that's it!
You're cut off! You're cut off!
No more reefer for you. Okay?
Jim Rice will be the American
League's most valuable player.
Rice gets a hold of that one,
and Rivers is unable
to get there in time.
The ball drops in
for an RBI single.
MARTY:
Ah, suck on that, Teddy.
TED:
There is no
Massachusetts Turnpike.
MARTY:
Who cares? We're up two-zip.
Mystic Valley.
What am I even looking for?
It's I-90?
Oh, Teddy, don't you get it?
IEV.
Teddy, there's no I anything.
Hmm?
It's like I'm trapped in a maze
with a babbling fool.
Here we go,
the top of the seventh inning,
The Red Sox and of course,
in their rabid--
TED: It's already the seventh?
MARTY: Yeah.
TED:
There's no highway up here,
Mr. Rand McNally.
I recognize that thingy
over there by-- That thingy.
Jesus Christ, I've been driving
us in a circle?
I cannot believe...
Yes.
Okay, I'm gonna...
No, no, no, no, no, let's go.
We're gonna turn around.
We're gonna go back to where--
They were doing good
when we were down there,
so let's get back
down there and freeze.
Come on, let's go.
Back down to the water?
Yes. They were ahead
when we were down there, Teddy.
I don't think we have
time to freeze, Dad.
I got a bad feeling.
We got time.
They got two men on.
They should take Torrez out.
I'm getting paranoid.
That's the thing with the pot.
Get paranoid? Oh, shit, Teddy.
Oh, I want a cigarette so bad!
ANNOUNCER:
Now it is Yankee shortstop
Bucky Dent.
Hit a fly ball to right
and popped up
for the shortstop.
MARTY:
Right here, they had the lead.
Go, go, go.
Freeze, freeze, freeze.
Freeze!
Okay, okay, okay, look.
It's Bucky Dent.
Freeze, freeze.
It's in the bag.
Freeze.
We're in the seventh inning.
And every opportunity missed
will grow more and more costly.
Checked and took low.
Ball one.
Chambliss at second.
White at first.
They had successive singles
with one out.
Now the bench batter Spencer
retired on a fly ball to left.
Right. Short and right.
Holding his glove up.
Shielding the sun.
Foul at the plate.
Dent will stay.
Try to shake it off.
Two out, two on,
two-nothing.
Boston top of the seventh.
Hit high in the air
to left field.
Going to the corner.
It's over the wall!
It's a home run
for Bucky Dent!
Oh, Bucky Dent!
Just cleared the top
of the wall in left.
Bucky Dent.
It's okay. There's still--
There's still
a couple innings left.
We'll come back.
Let's go find the stadium.
Come on,
it ain't over until it's over.
It's over.
And the Red Sox fans
are stunned here at Fenway.
Let's look at it again.
TED:
Dad?
There it was.
Up over the plate.
Hey, Dad!
But so close. Just barely.
What are you doing, Dad?
What are you doing?
Bucky Dent.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Bucky fucking Dent.
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
ANNOUNCER:
Yankees win.
[CROWD CHEERS]
And so on this day,
October 2nd, 1978,
it is a gloomy day
for the Boston Red Sox.
They're gonna leave
a bit somber.
If the Red Sox had won,
this joint would be jumping.
But it was not to be
in 1978 for Boston.
Ron Guidry and Bucky Dent,
I'll tell you one thing.
I know you've never hit
a bigger home run in your life.
I'm not even gonna ask that.
Never.
It's the biggest hit of
my career, I think, right now.
REPORTER:
Well, the one thing, too,
you were almost down and out.
And I know that you...
[]
MARTY:
I should have seen it coming.
It's never Babe Ruth
that blindsides you.
Never William Mays,
Mickey Mantle,
or Reggie Jackson.
It's always the little thing
you didn't prepare for.
The little tickle
in your throat
that puts you in your grave.
It's always Bucky Dent.
Don't let the Yankees
fool you, Teddy.
Life's not like the Yankees
with their rings and champagnes.
Life's not about winning.
Life's about losing.
Life belongs to the losers.
Like you and me, Teddy.
Don't ever forget that.
Don't ever forget that.
Me and you, Mariana.
Bucky fucking Dent.
Yeah.
I won't forget it, Dad.
God bless Bucky fucking Dent.
[]
Dad?
God bless Bucky fucking Dent.
[]
[PHONE LINE RINGS]
MARIANA:
Hello, Mercy Station.
He's gone.
I'm sorry, Ted.
TED:
It's okay.
It's-- It's time.
He was amazing.
What more can I say?
He sure was. He was a man.
MARIANA:
And you're a man too.
And a son.
A good son.
And Mariana, I, um...I know.
What do you know?
TED:
I know about her, you know.
Your tattoo,
your daughter Christina.
I-- I'm sorry.
Yeah?
Yeah, I get it now. I get why.
The one-way street, anger,
the bullets.
I get you.
Mariana.
Yeah?
Just because you got shot
doesn't mean you have to die.
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT]
I'm sorry, Ted, I have to go.
They're calling me.
Life goes on, huh?
Yeah, for some.
[]
[]
TED:
Look at that fairy tale.
The barbershop boys did that.
How do you choose
whose story gets to be history?
Hmm? What do you mean?
TED:
Well, your story's
kind of a French arthouse
bummer.
MARIANA:
What?
TED:
Two scared, lonely people,
you and me.
Meet cute, make love,
and walk away from each other.
My story has to find
semi-broken people,
but trying to heal
and love on one another.
You think I need a co-writer,
huh?
No, no.
I think you need a witness.
I-- I think we--
We all need a witness.
I just want to clarify.
Are you trying to make a move
like an hour after we took
your father to the morgue?
Marty would have
wanted it that way.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I like when you laugh.
Makes me want to cry.
Have you ever been
in love before?
Sure. Once.
Yeah, once upon a time.
And what happened?
What happened is what happens.
It ended.
And you think
this is gonna be different?
Why?
Because my dad's dead
and suddenly I'm-- I'm next.
And everything's new.
What if I don't love you?
Well, then I'll wait.
What you doing?
Waiting.
[]
Father, lay your hand
Upon my head
So it's only consolation
Although, we have
The same disease
I'm afraid we may need
Different medication
So relax, sit down
And talk to me
Father lay your head
Upon my shoulder
You don't even need
A reason
Let's go.
Sometimes we make
The same mistakes
We find ourselves
In different situation
Oh boy, I'm not
An ordinary boy
I'm not an ordinary son
ANNOUNCER:
And a ground ball
stand by Foulke, he has it.
He underhands to first,
and the Boston Red Sox
are the world champions.
For the first time in 86 years,
the Red Sox have won
baseball's world championship.
Can you believe it?
[]
Oh, boy
I'm not an ordinary boy
I'm not an ordinary son
Our life has just begun
Oh, father, you're mine
Father, lay your hand
Upon my head
I said it's only
Consolation
Although we have
The same disease
I'm afraid we may need
Different medication
So relax
Sit down
And talk to me
Oh, boy
I'm not an ordinary boy
I'm not an ordinary son
Our life has just begun
[]
People just keep
Moving around
Trying to find
A place in the sun
Laying the towels
And the troubles down
Wait till you feel like
The day's too long
Nowhere to hide
Nowhere you belong
Put your hand down
Feel the heavens
Come down to you
Love is all you need
That's what the Book of John
Taught you
But you wanna see
Clouds above
I know that
Better than anyone
Because, my darling
It's the rain you love
It'll always be raining
In the sun
Years from now
When you're old and gray
Stories of your beauty
Just amp to hearsay
The way I look at you
Will make young again
His humble cause will gather
Clouds above
My words will seed
Those clouds with love
Our memories will rank
Sweetness around the pain
A fist full of love
And a box of rain
Baby, baby
Now I won't be long
If you're feeling down
And put upon
Nothing this strong
Could ever be wrong
It's always
Raining in the sun
[]
Now wait here
I'm not a meteorologist
Or an untrained astrologist
And I don't need no
Weatherman
To tell me
Where to take a stand
Baby, baby
As the heavens descend
You and I will say amen
'Cause all cold front
Will move along
Baby, baby
As the heavens descend
You and I will make amends
Meet me back here
Where you belong
It's always raining
It's always raining
It's always
Raining in the sun
[]