Rhinestone (1984) Movie Script
RHINESTONE
Good evening, Mr Hugo.
Every night is beautiful
when you're rich, kid.
Hold it, Mr Hugo.
Wait a minute. Let me see my monogram.
Give copies to everyone.
- What an idiot.
- And you say little.
I'm gonna mess up your life.
-I'll see you later.
-You dumbass.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. I will make a
a break to drink some water
and have the band wear some
dry clothes.
Don't leave or they will compete
and the amateurs will compete.
Meat.
We want meat.
Eat the living.
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
How are you doing?
Where can I take you?
We want to go to a sushi bar.
Done.
Get in.
You want sushi?
It has become very popular.
Sushi bars have sprung up everywhere.
I'll tell you something but
keep it between us.
Do you think it makes you
good for you to eat raw fish?
You don't want to eat something
on beef?
Since you are in America
you must eat Italian food.
-Ravioli.
-Exactly. You got it. Look out!
Get your hands off me.
She's mine.
So...
see you later at our place?
-Which part?
-What time?
What would you say about the next century,
Freddie?
She likes to tease me.
Who's punching?
There's Morella.
I'd rather sit at home.
Let's have a little chat.
You're not gonna believe this, but the guy
you're gonna see tonight is dynamite.
-A glass of ice water.
-And me a scotch on the rocks.
-You don't have to get your knickers in a twist, Jesse.
-Hey, Gene.
Thanks for the loans.
You bailed me out.
-I'll give it to you as soon as possible.
-Don't worry.
I was gonna ask Freddie for it.
but I don't want to owe him.
That's why they call him a licker.
-Without voice.
-Very nice.
-I found you.
-Gone.
Come on, baby.
Tell me the truth.
Didn't you miss me?
No. What did you mean when you said
about our "place"?
I missed it. I meant my house.
Didn't I save you from that idiot?
Don't get me involved in your fantasies
in your fantasies. I've never been to your house.
I wouldn't come to your house
under any circumstances.
I like insecure women.
Shall we go to dinner? My treat.
-I lost my appetite.
- Girl...
Let me tell you,
don't push the rope too far.
You'll see that the one I discovered
will become my new star.
I'm gonna make a lot of money off of him,
you know what I mean?
-You make money from me too.
-You'll stay to attract people.
Do you want to go out to dinner tomorrow?
It's on me.
-Will I get my contract?
-You know that.
Freddie, there are two kinds of people
in this world...
and you don't belong to anyone.
Everything okay?
-Sorry about that.
-It was very interesting.
It's good to let loose once in a while.
When I get very stressed
I go like this...
Can you feel me?
The scurvy and junk food is
is the worst thing for taxi drivers.
Otherwise, New York
is a wonderful place.
Done. We don't want sushi. We want
we want to go to a place with cowboys.
Cowboy place? You got it.
I know a place like that, though.
I wouldn't normally recommend it.
Hang on. Banzai...
Well. Let's calm down a little.
Well, be quiet.
The situation requires the
due seriousness.
Tonight is a very important night
for our store.
Because tonight, on this very stage,
we will witness the birth...
of a new star of
of western and country music.
Cut that out.
I want to extend a warm welcome,
as befits the store,
the amazing, real cowboy,
the lively and drunken...
Mr. Edgar Branson.
This guy looks tough.
Shut up.
If you blow that up again.
I'll give it to you to eat.
-Understood?
-He's taking the role seriously.
If he was serious, he wouldn't be
he wouldn't wear a duck shirt.
This song I wrote
for my little baby.
I left home at 22
but I never really settled down...
like all men do.
who have stained the soul...
and their face
and inside they feel empty...
like the day my baby died.
I taught him.
Wait till it's over and you'll see.
That June morning,
when the sun was rising high...
and I was happy and smiling...
and there was no opposition
nor was there any shyness...
that morning that
I realized...
that this girl was going to be
my wife...
was the day my baby died.
To listen.
With white dress and flowers in hand
Was not to plough the field...
but despite its beauty...
she had to gather the crops...
Pick the crops?
Did he say he had to pick the crops?
He turned his back on me and left.
He said he'd be back in a minute
but the dress got caught in the wheel...
My eyes rolled in surprise
when I looked into her eyes...
because my God...
the tractor blew her to pieces?
The hand of fate crippled her...
under his tractor
...her father crushed her...
Blood and brains painted
the corn and the ears of corn and the ears of wheat...
all the bales.
I ran past her but
all I found...
were the pieces of my favorite
scattered around...
my love was a
a chopped-up corpse...
on the cold earth.
That is indeed how my Loretta died.
Get out of here.
I'm impressed. Where are you going?
do you find these "talents"?
Forget about him. Next week I'll bring
a man who's gonna set the dance floor on fire.
He's Indian but he sings the
cowboy songs better than anyone.
Wait till you see him first.
He wears a turban under his hat
and spurs. He's wonderful.
I'm not interested. But this lady
I am interested. You want to talk?
You'll talk to me because I have
I've got her contracts tied up.
-My condolences.
-See you next week.
-You are shameless.
-What's going on?
You're wasting time and money on every
but you don't help me.
Calm down.
Why am I stuck in this place
and I can't do anything else.
How can I buy back
my contract?
-'at. I'm not going to sit with you.
-Will you sit with me for 30 minutes?
-Freddie?
-Here.
You're selfish and stupid.
You're trying to get untalented lovers
to the marquee of Reinstone.
-Really?
-Exactly.
If I had money, I'd do this
a lot better than you.
-Seriously?
-Sure.
-Wanna bet?
-On what?
That anyone can
can be the first name in here.
- Let's go.
-Good. Here's what's gonna happen.
You'll have 2 weeks after
I've found someone.
I'll cover all your expenses.
If the one you find...
can even sing
just once without being ripped apart...
you'll win the bet.
Deal?
What will you bet?
The three years of my contract.
If I win, you tear it up.
I like women with vision.
So.
If you win, I'll tear up the contract.
If you lose, I'll add another five years.
-And you will sleep with me.
-Hold me. I don't accept.
If you don't take risks, you don't win.
Okay. I'll take that bet.
But I want to make one thing clear.
No surgeons, lepers and dead people.
Ordinary, normal people. Okay?
You don't want someone special, like me,
but a normal person.
Come on.
-He has a nice voice, don't you think?
-I'm willing to kill you right here and now.
You're picky too, aren't you?
Nice audition, man.
Let's go.
Come on, cut it out.
What do you mean? The guy has
innate talent. Look at him.
You choose the most useless
to fail.
Darling, that's what we agreed.
Do you want to quit?
I have never in my life given up.
Excuse me?
I'll pick the next normal
I see.
Whoever passes in front of me.
Whoever.
Did you see that?
Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
Bum. I saw your face.
Are you all right?
I'm sorry, but the guy
cut me off.
The bar for cowboys
is that way.
The race is on me.
But if you want to tip.
There you go.
Nobody saw anything?
Taxi drivers are not considered to be simple
and normal people.
Wait a minute. I didn't agree.
-I can't make him a singer.
-Exactly.
Where are the lepers when
you need them?
Well.
Things are simple.
You don't need to have a degree,
which you don't have, but I do,
to understand what's at stake.
What do you think?
-Where are you from?
-From New York...
Well, lover boy.
You want to talk about the bet?
-What bet?
-That you'll be a singer.
Are you kidding? I don't like them.
I don't even like these rednecks.
I also want to talk to her a little bit
so leave us alone.
Would you like to dance and
and maybe even make them?
Freddie, we said no to crazy people.
Should we pick someone else?
Wait a minute.
It's your fault my cab got wrecked.
Maybe you should be more friendly?
Why is it my fault?
Because instead of looking at the road
I was looking at you.
Oh, my God. Another horny one.
Raised again?
Me, Nick?
You know what?
You are beautiful beyond a doubt.
But I'm not that desperate.
Wait a minute.
What about the bet?
If you bet me I'd leave,
you win.
Good luck.
I'm here.
Wait. Come here.
I have something important to tell you.
-Can I come by your house tonight?
-What do you mean?
You just lost the bet. What time
to come by and pay me back?
The bet is not valid since
will not participate.
Darling, this is yours.
problem, not mine.
You want to be on top
or underneath?
You'll end up at the bottom of the river
if you don't get out of my way.
I like tough chicks.
Tonight you're in luck because you're going to get your-
I'm gonna kick your face and your suit.
Wait a minute. You lost and I won.
So pay up.
-Stop it, Freddie.
-Do that one more time.
If you insist on this bet,
fine.
But remember that my
you gave me two weeks.
-And when you want a hug...
-Hello?
don't call me. Call
the zoo.
Come here.
-What accident are you talking about?
-The one that happened on Manhattan West.
We didn't have an accident last night.
Hit all the right
side of the taxi.
Really? There were no accidents yesterday.
Was it another company?
No. At the door I noticed that
it had your logo on it.
How was the driver?
He was kind of stout.
It was kind of...
like that one over there.
Tony? How we doing? You all right?
You look changed.
Did you change your hair?
-Let me explain.
-What's that?
-I'm a little off my game.
-Are you crazy? You crashed it properly.
I tried not to crush an old lady.
And wreck my car?
You know I'm the one who's been punching out
who do that kind of damage to me?
Take it easy, Tony.
You're an emotional person.
You're pissed off. And I'm upset...
I've been sad. I didn't sleep all night.
I love my job.
My clothes show it.
I want you to leave.
Get the hell out of here,
you and your little bastards.
And take the cowgirl with you.
-Don't you like my clothes?
-Not at all.
-My outfit in general?
-Get out, you and your clothes.
Since you don't appreciate my taste,
I quit.
The guy's a freak.
Good for you, Humpty Dumpty.
Who's that?
I didn't want you to get fired.
Would you do me a favor and disappear?
-I can help you.
-I lost my job, you dumbass.
-Excuse me?
-Stupid dumbass.
-Don't talk to me like that.
-Really?
So listen to me.
Some may consider you
beautiful, but for me...
you're a dumbass from nowhere.
So take your cart and go.
You can get another job.
Are you an employment consultant? I like
this job. I have fond memories.
Ugly memories.
-Maybe I'll give you your job back.
-You're gonna ask Santa for it?
If you do what we suggested
Freddy will pay for the damage.
-Is that possible?
-Sure.
-Is he going to pay?
-Of course.
-Sure?
-Sure.
-Shall we go see Freddie?
-Okay. But don't take advantage of me.
Give me a break.
What do you think I am? Santa Claus?
The car's pretty badly damaged.
You have good taste.
We're talking about damage that will cost
at least $2,000.
By the saint.
Where's her sister?
I wouldn't give $2,000 for bullets.
to that clown.
-Carajoie?
-Who says so.
He's also a sniffer?
-So I won. I want my contract.
-Wait a minute.
Okay.
-Hi. Radiation, right?
-If he wins...
I'll pay for the damages.
And to show you who I am...
I'll bring radios, TVs,
everything everything. What do you think?
-We were not even signing a contract.
-Done.
Remember my scent when I come
to claim my prize.
Please don't shout.
We have to go.
-What are you waiting for? Come on.
-You didn't hear my price.
What price?
Didn't we say to pay for the damage?
No. That's what she asked for.
I want something else. I want...
-my own taxi.
-Excuse me?
Exactly.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Have you ever sung
in front of an audience?
No, never.
I want your honest
opinion on country music.
It's for the rubble.
"For the rubble."
That's a very big word.
We are in complete agreement.
-And now get out.
-Nice apartment.
I know.
-Take care.
-Have fun.
Are you upset that I asked for a cab?
Let me put it another way.
I expect everything from you.
We need to start rehearsals right away.
-I'll sing a song, won't I?
-You've got to learn about 50.
And in Reinstone, they have a tradition
of shouting down young singers.
-Do you play an instrument?
-I have an instrument that I scratch.
Come from my house to me
teach me a new song.
Can I come to your house?
So you can show me your instrument?
I'm not kidding.
I do have a big instrument.
Thank you.
Let's go to your house to
show me your instrument.
And I hope it's something
that plays music.
Done.
MARTINELLI FUNERAL HOME
You live in a funeral home?
I live above a funeral home.
Come on. Come on.
We'll take my private elevator.
Where are we going?
Let's go to the penthouse.
Why don't we go from the front
like the rest of the world?
Why we should avoid corpses,
coffins, zombies, and all that.
I leave the curtains open.
Okay?
Come on in.
-Why do you live in a funeral home?
-It's my father's.
-Where is the instrument?
-In the instrument room.
-In the instrument room?
-Doesn't everyone have a room like that?
There you go.
I told you I had a big organ.
-It is indeed big.
-Hold on to warm up a bit.
I don't think so.
-You want to sing something?
-Like what?
Anything.
Anything?
Done.
It starts like this.
Thank you and your
good night.
It was good, wasn't it?
See you again.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Are you out of your mind?
Didn't you see underneath?
May your mother rest in peace.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't want you to sing
when the store is open.
Who's the chick?
Jake, this is my father.
Patera, Jake.
-He waved.
-I understand that.
-Will you stay for dinner?
-No.
Sure. Thank you.
-No more rock and roll, you understand?
-I swear I'll change my repertoire.
Oh, my God.
That chick's got an incredible body.
-Will you handle her?
-I'll try.
-If you can't, let me know.
-I got it.
-Don't forget it.
-Done.
My father.
The screams and gestures had
make any sense?
The instrument is somewhat untuned.
I didn't say I was the best.
I want a job.
Country music is not only
work. It's a way of life.
-You want to talk about it when we eat?
-You got it.
No romance?
It looks pale.
So eat every day
or are you planning to open a restaurant?
Thank you, Mom.
No. This is how we eat every day. Why? Why?
With this much food you can feed the entire
a whole army.
Where we're going to take things
is different.
-Where are we going?
-What?
-Where are you going?
-We're going to my home country.
-Where?
-Tennessee.
This is his home.
Why would he go anywhere else?
-He's not going to learn anything here.
-Wrong move.
Whatever he had to learn, he learned.
His mind is now frozen.
He doesn't have to go anywhere,
or learn.
Mother, have pity on me, what's in the mind
My mind? Have you put a microscope on it?
Nick, you're still immature.
Me, immature?
Sure.
Look at your clothes.
Honestly, now.
Since you didn't accomplish anything here.
what are you going to do down there?
Forget it and become a pastry chef.
Nick, sonny, you almost had
I almost died giving birth to you.
Don't be a cowboy. Sleeping
with animals and catch diseases.
If you leave with that woman
you'll shame us all.
No one will shame anyone.
He's gonna be a country singer.
He will win the bet,
my contract, his cab...
but first and foremost,
he must go.
Thank you for your hospitality
and for giving birth to him.
By the way, I promise you I'll get him
feed him pizza once a day, okay?
You coming?
-You said it very well.
-Don't, Nick.
-Just give me a call, okay?
-I'll call you.
Goodbye.
VISIT AGAIN
THE LEIPERS FORK
Be careful.
We're going to get run over.
Watch the shoe.
Watch the shoe.
They kill and they don't pay.
We've made a fool of ourselves.
It's good to adapt as long as
you want to be a country singer.
Come on.
-Is it the shoe?
-What are you doing, Jake?
Hello, Miss Tubbs. How do you do?
Nice to see you.
What are you doing?
Have you seen my dad?
Not today.
Let me introduce you to a friend of mine
from New York, Nick Martinelli.
Good time.
-You say a "good time".
-Give us a break.
How are the soldiers doing?
That's very mature of you.
There's Dad.
I DON'T KNOW.
Don't get smart.
What are you making?
A piano.
-He's a bit slow, isn't he?
Slow-witted, you don't say anything.
-I missed you a lot.
-Me too, sweetheart.
-You're too cool.
-Thank you. I want you to meet Nick.
Hi.
-What's he doing there?
-He's trying to say hello.
-Time is good. What are you doing?
-Fine, how are you?
I can't wait to go home.
-Will you carry the bags?
-Excuse me. Are we done here?
Is he a bit of a slowpoke?
She's fine, Dad.
Fucking chicks.
I didn't understand what was going to happen
if you lose the bet.
Right. What's in it for Freddie?
I just won't take the
my contract.
-Just this?
-Only.
Tell me, do we have any local news?
Lem Kerner bought
a new pig.
It has the biggest bells and whistles
you've ever seen.
-Bigger than Starkwell's?
-I think so.
-If you want to go later and see it.
-Okay.
You want to see it too, Nick?
-Pig's cabbage?
-Yes.
No, thank you.
What I saw today is enough for me.
I'm fine.
-What's with this Nick guy?
-He needs a job, but he'll get it done.
-I mean if there's something between you.
-Don't talk nonsense, Dad.
It's not foolish for a father to want
to see his daughter settle down.
When you told me that again.
you introduced me to Barnett Cale.
I'm sorry about that.
And while we're on the subject,
he knows you came with this Nick guy.
It would be better if he stayed
away from both of us.
Great rehearsal. Let's give the platform
to our new star. Come on, Nick.
Done.
I am very happy to be here.
Thank you for participating
in my first live concert.
I have a special song...
from my neighborhood,
and it goes like this...
The guitar needs tuning.
You scared me, kid.
I thought you were going to explode.
-Let me do it again.
-No.
I want your honest opinion.
Let me show you how it moves
of a real country singer.
- Is that all?
-That's country music.
This is called rigor mortis.
You're an exception.
Give me a chord.
-Can you play something in country?
-And you ask?
Listen.
You'll be all right, kid.
-I was doing well.
-Calm down.
Say what I say.
Shall we go see the pig?
You're a joker, kid,
but not a country singer.
He's gonna be a singer, Dad.
He needs intensive lessons.
But first he will learn from horses.
Is this standard procedure?
You are a special case.
Really, how do I look?
You're not wearing the right clothes.
Don't they fit the occasion?
Stop the burger.
I'm caught.
If you know what I mean.
-This is a horse.
-I suspected as much.
Caress it,
it doesn't bite.
Two things you need to know
about horses.
First, don't stand behind them
so they don't kick you...
And that's the second one.
There goes the dance contest.
Come on, Nick. Come on, have fun with us.
Play music with us.
You should have fun.
That's what I do.
I thought you liked it.
Don't be a jerk.
We had fun.
Try again.
I know a guy so ugly...
who hangs a steak around his neck
to play with his dog.
You have to say it more vividly.
Feel it.
Let's go again.
I know a very ugly guy...
who hangs a steak around his neck
to play with his dog.
Wait.
Me?
The real cowboys stir
the peas and potatoes.
Useful information.
-What are you doing?
-I want to put butter on it.
You need to wet your toast.
I don't want to get my toast wet.
I just want to butter it.
-I'm showing you how we do it.
-I know how you do it.
You have no idea.
I'll eat my food the way I want.
You have to learn the basics.
The basics.
That is, the way you do it.
Let me get this straight.
Very tasty.
This is delicious too.
Let me try this one.
-That's very mature of you.
-At least I'm not a spastic.
Excuse me?
You've been getting on my nerves with your
with your instructions. Leave me alone.
I want to make you famous
and you take it as a joke.
Is that bad?
Yes. When your future is at stake
and you're acting like a stork.
Sturnos?
Turnip.
If you don't care, I won't give you
explain what it means.
Nicholas is leaving.
Where are you going?
I'm going to the cesspool to relieve myself.
The stork called me a nerd.
Unheard of.
Could you pass me the toast, please?
You think I'm a nerd?
Well...
I want the truth.
Give me the toast first.
and I'll tell you.
Never mind.
It's very dark.
What we call "pitch" darkness.
Okay.
Thank you, God.
I'll be a good boy. Taxi.
Are you okay?
Get in.
I don't need a ride.
I have my own car.
Don't you want to come in?
I'm a surveyor and I check the
country roads.
I would like to know what you think
about this road here.
I said get in.
I told you I'm busy. Go ahead
or I'll call the police.
You're blocking traffic.
He was definitely a maniac
axe murderer.
What am I doing here?
The place is full of them.
How nice. Country music.
There you go.
To thank the table 3
for the applause.
It enslaves us.
We're going to take a short break
and we'll come back.
Our audience is going nuts.
I want plenty of foam in my beer.
Are you from the city?
-From a big city.
-Knoxville?
New York.
Pizzas, discotheques...
room service.
Did you hear that?
The guy's from New York.
Don't make too much noise.
I don't want us to be a spectacle.
Give me a break.
How are the mobsters doing?
these days?
Fine, as always.
They get killed at work.
Can I ask you something?
How is it...
taking heroin?
Excuse me?
What is it like when you take heroin?
How I dislike cowboys.
Cowboys? Where did you see them?
Get a crew to do
fumigation.
-You're a cowboy case, aren't you?
-With sympathy, man.
Let's talk.
What's your name, city boy?
Nick Martinelli.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Just kidding.
My name is Barnett Cale.
Well, well, well, well, well.
You wanna go get a case of beer?
and tell me some news from the city?
Done. Grab a couple of beers.
for my buddy.
Let me guess...
Your hobby is autopsies?
What about you, slugs?
They make a lot of noise.
Good morning, Mom.
I want you to make me coffee
and eggs...
I'm in the mud...
and I'm looking at a duck.
Good time.
What are you doing here?
I hang out with the ducks.
-I feel terrible.
-You feel like crap.
Did you have to get wasted?
I don't know how you made it home.
Crawling.
But I did it with guts.
If you could see me, you'd be proud of me.
See you, guys.
Where did you go last night?
I found a guy and we got together.
We became a dyke and we partied
until the roosters were crowing.
And we drank a field of beer.
Why are you talking like that?
The guy talked like that all night.
He's kidding, right?
Wasn't it fun when I did it?
You acted like a little Hitler.
So, in order to know you, I'm gonna have to
I have to be more fun?
Maybe I'll learn a little better that way.
But how are you going to be fun?
Then let your friend help us.
This guy is more fun
...than a bunch of dice.
-What does that mean?
-I have no idea.
Who's the joker?
Wait a minute...
Kale.
-Barnett?
-Kale.
Barnett Cale?
-Exactly.
-That son of a bitch?
I don't believe my ears.
All the guy did was
cheat on me and lie to me.
Don't tell me he's pissed?
In this place you can
you can say and do whatever you want.
But if you want to live, I'd suggest
that you never mention that name again.
So I shouldn't invite him to dinner.
No.
Hard thing to do
family problems.
Wonderful, really.
I want to apologize to you
for what happened.
I didn't know there was an issue with the press.
-We used to sing together.
-Like you and me?
I was with him.
Don't worry about it.
Don't say that because I like to
learning about other people's pasts.
I have it as a hobby.
So I want you to give me
confess everything.
Okay.
He put me on the job. When
he got into drinking, I left him.
-Just this?
-Only.
I don't have time to teach you
everything about country music...
nor will I promise
how we're gonna have fun...
but I'll try not to
be exaggerating.
Stop the music.
I wouldn't have met him if
if you hadn't called me a stooge.
-So it's my fault?
-I didn't say it was your fault.
but all my life I've been surrounded
storms.
I have a cousin...
who is a professional steward.
The two guys we grew up with
are definitely stooges.
And the girl I was escorting
to the prom...
was not a sturgeon,
but now she's homeless...
You could say that life
is a disappointment.
This is a sad story.
Did I tell you my dog died?
No, you didn't tell me.
It was tragic.
You gotta be kidding me. But you do,
get your own cab?
Sure. As much as you want and
your contract.
You have to work hard
to get it.
I'll help you as much as I can.
if you help me.
You bet.
You got a deal, cowgirl.
Okay?
The band will be here soon
and I've got your clothes ready for you.
-Seriously?
-You're gonna love it.
I love new clothes.
See you later.
Budweiser,
you created a monster...
called Dearlstein.
In a lab,
under the tavern, in the alley...
makes beers with a lot of passion...
and in there Dr. Bud
puts blood and poison...
and whenever I drink them
I'm eaten by a junkie.
Budweiser,
you created a monster...
and my name is Durlastein...
and my name is Durlastein...
I'm Dearlstein.
I'm Dearlstein.
You look very handsome in those clothes.
They suit you perfectly.
You did good, Nick.
You made me proud.
-How do you like the clothes?
-I hate your tailor.
What's wrong with you?
I've made a fool of myself. I'm a taxi driver.
I'm not a cowboy.
Life has its difficulties, right?
Don't sprain my fur.
You want to practice a little and
your walking?
See how I walk.
This walk takes a little shaking,
a little pride and a little spunk.
-You see me? Can you do it?
-No problem.
Show me.
I must be a shaking, shaking, shaking
like I'm some kind of legionnaire.
-Don't jump around.
-Look who's talking.
Have you ever had an itch
in your crotch?
Do ladies ask such questions?
Did you?
You'll never know because this
I'll take this secret to my grave.
Good time.
Hello, Barnett.
Continue practicing.
Go back and forth.
Hey, Jake.
It's good to see you.
You look beautiful, as always.
You're doing well, keep going.
With this outfit, I'm sure
she's rehearsing for Halloween.
Lean more.
Don't bother us when we're working.
Are you working?
And what kind of work does he do?
You're doing well.
Don't lean forward.
Be supportive, but,
why is he doing this?
I'm teaching him to walk like a cowboy.
You got a problem with that?
-Did you ever have an itchy crotch?
-What's wrong with that thing?
Remember how it made you walk?
Try it.
Walk like this.
-That's right.
-I'm like Frankenstein.
-It's better, isn't it?
-I got the cologne.
With a couple of hours on horseback
you'll walk like Roy Rogers.
He's probably walking
like Dale Evans.
Here's how we park in Tennessee.
What are you doing, Barnett?
Hello. Take care of my vehicle.
Barnett, I've had too much already.
Don't be silly.
Wait a minute.
I told you about the time Jake and I
took a naked bath?
-You told me.
-Then I'll tell you...
for when we had gone
at the Tasty Freeze...
You told me that too.
Anyway...
me and Jake
we go way back.
How long have you known her?
What time is it?
I love you, man.
I'm going for the good guy.
Isoma...
The door slammed in my face.
What are you doing, Luke?
-How are you doing?
-Fine.
-I am very happy.
-This is Nick Martignonello.
-Martinelli.
-Nick Martinelli.
Will you have another beer?
-I've had enough.
-Nonsense. Bartender?
-Enough.
-Are you breaking up with us?
-Listen to me, Molt...
-Walt.
I'm not that thirsty
but still, thank you.
What's your problem, kid?
Why? Are you a doctor?
Shall we dance, cowboy?
Sure.
And I thought you weren't coming.
See you later, good guys.
She's crazy about me.
I hate this guy.
So?
In New York, you told me not to
to spread my legs.
Now we're in Tennessee.
And I'm very happy about that.
Easy, guys.
-It's good.
-What do you mean?
That is, the whole thing
isn't so bad.
Well done.
Keep going with that accent.
I'll tell you something I hope
that won't hurt you.
At first I thought
you'd be a complete failure.
And that it would be better
to train a pig.
How you make me like this.
He still wants me.
But in the end...
Sorry, buddy.
May I interrupt?
-No, you can't, buddy.
-Excuse me?
We're fine here, buddy.
Go somewhere else.
Thank you.
She's out of her mind.
I want to dance.
Barnett is not happy at all.
Love hurts.
Did I spoil your company, good guys?
You ruined it for us,
but I forgive you, Jake...
Did we hit a wall, Jake?
Hello, Molt.
Barnett wants
to dance.
All right, go ahead.
dance with him.
Come on, Jake. Love hurts.
Barnette, he's stealing your woman.
You're gonna let the wise guy
city slicker make a fool of you?
Are you saying I'm an embarrassment?
Not me. He did.
-Nice dress.
-You like it?
Yes. It's kind of revealing,
but nice.
I like to speak openly,
because that's my character.
And I think something
is going on between us.
Really?
Something tells me that the
you say that a lot.
True, but this time I mean it.
You don't even know me.
I know what I need to know.
The buddies have stopped
to be buddies.
I knew we'd get here.
Don't make a fuss
no matter what happens.
-I like that.
-What?
You're worried about me.
Of course I'm worried. How will
sing if you have no teeth?
Is that all I'm worth to you?
I didn't know you liked them.
slimy types, Jake.
I thought you liked him.
Barnett, watch your language...
because this one's gonna make you black in the
and he's gonna kick your ass and break your ribs.
-Can I have you as a decoy?
-Don't you have a tongue, you faggot?
-Calm down, Puke.
-Luke.
Leave us alone.
What are you trying to prove?
That I'm not
I'm not embarrassed by anyone.
You're doing fine on your own.
Let's go, Nick.
Should Nick back down?
Only this time
for your sake.
Chlechle.
Are you okay? Your teeth
are all in place?
You know you're no fun at all?
I don't know about you, but I already
I've already had enough fun. Shall we go?
Shall we go? I'll beat the shit out of him.
If you fight, I'll cancel the bet.
Understand?
Do you understand?
-Yes, Mom.
-Good. We're leaving.
You gave it to him and he understood.
Why are you pissed off?
It's no big deal.
-For you.
-After the matter is over.
-For you.
-Why do you want to go back inside?
Because I can't help it.
You can if you want to.
-Do you know what an Italian feud is?
-Yeah, so?
-Our own invention.
-What are you talking about?
Then go back inside and
get your ass kicked.
Excuse me?
Don't say that because you're not
you haven't seen me in action.
Those who kill themselves to play it
men don't impress me at all.
You won't leave us?
You have a point.
It's not right for me to interfere
with your past.
It just seems incredible to me that
you almost got engaged to that guy.
-What almost happened? We were engaged.
-No way.
No, don't tell me that.
You ruined my view
I had of you.
I thought you were past it.
all of this. But I guess not.
I have to reconsider my opinion that
I had formed about you.
Let me think about it.
You and I are human.
He's sort of human.
But Nick is forgiving.
Nick forgives everyone.
-You're a great guy, Nick.
-I know.
And you're a show-off.
And I know that.
-Am I right?
-You're doing fine.
You have improved a lot.
Daddy is rested
like my guitar.
What I'm saying...
is that I'm not in love...
but that I'm just sleepy.
-I see we're in a good mood tonight.
-I'm certainly in a good mood tonight.
-How's your jaw?
-Fine.
Do you want to rehearse some more
the last song?
-Now?
-Yes.
-Sure, let's go to yours...
-Mine...
-Why not? You need...
-It's quiet...
a little practice.
And as you practice, you get better.
Are you going to make noise all night?
Good night, kids.
-Bre dad.
-Just in time, Dad.
Should we save it for another time?
Anyway, you need...
-the practice.
-we're going to get a workout.
-Good night, Nick.
-Good night, Jake.
How are you gonna get through this night, Nick?
How the hell?
Damn.
Good night, Jake.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Nick.
Good night, Noah.
Good night, Nick.
Good night, Jake.
How I hate rednecks.
It's really getting to be a bummer
in you, sonny?
I have her in my heart.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you all for the
your warm applause.
I have a surprise for you tonight and I will
I'd like to introduce you to someone.
He's a special guest,
popular in many parts of our country.
Since when?
Tomorrow he is to make his first appearance
in New York City.
Please welcome
to Nick Martin.
Come on.
My legs have been cut off. Forget it.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
I don't want to do it. That's it.
Don't be nervous.
I don't. My lips are just numb.
Never mind.
It's normal. When I first came out
I thought I was going to die.
I had a headache, stomach upset.
and a lump in my throat.
-And what did you do?
-I came in.
Thank you.
You've lifted my spirits.
You'll be fine.
Remember how we walk.
His crotch itches.
This is my first time on stage.
Do us a favor and come down.
It's good to see the
my fans here tonight.
Do you take us for idiots?
You don't know anything about country music.
How do you know Barnett
came by your house?
He didn't flush
and the cat got knocked up.
Classic Barnett.
You know what, Barnett?
Does your bladder have a problem?
You have a rusty zipper
and yellow boots.
He knows Barnett very well.
Your joke is colder
than a freezer.
What kind of appearance is that?
Did you comb your hair with a fishbone?
That's enough.
Time to start the first one, and
and probably my last performance.
Watch the tone.
Let's go a little faster.
I'm fine.
Thank you, me and my mom.
-You did it.
-About.
You're ready for New York.
Not yet.
Wait a minute, Nick.
-What are you going to do?
-To get my blood back.
Violence is not a solution.
Never mind me.
Take that, cowboy of the bad old days.
-Did you see it, John Wayne, female?
-He deserved it.
-I had to do this.
-You're late.
-I owed him.
-Next time.
-You gave me a nosebleed.
-Hey, leave us alone.
-You'll give me a complex.
-You wanna sing a little song?
-What about my complex?
-I'm glad to see you.
You insult my manhood.
Now I'm angry.
-How do I handle it?
-You just handled it.
My hero.
And he's just getting warmed up.
-Can I have you as my agent?
-You want Nick to sing again?
That's a great idea.
I will dedicate it to you
and especially to you.
What do we do?
Leave him alone. I'm never going to do it anyway.
I never liked the son of a bitch.
Hello, Tennessee.
You were a wonderful audience.
You showed your joy like a cat
when he eats a fish bone.
And so, Nick Martin bids you farewell
until the next tour, and...
God bless you all.
Well said.
-I think you get the point.
-I felt it on the stage.
Something like a continuous electrical discharge
between me and the audience.
It's probably the chili sauce.
-It was electrification, not sauce.
-I was just kidding.
I want to show you something.
You made me proud tonight...
and I want to give you this.
I know you'll be touched.
-Noah, I don't want to hurt you...
-So I want you to keep it.
Thank you, but you
looks better on you.
Not anymore. You've earned it.
Noah, do me a favor and hold it.
I want you to have it.
-You want to talk honestly?
-Sure.
You're a good man, a good Christian.
and a good farmer.
Your clothes, however, are not.
Believe me, these are the most
ugly clothes I've ever seen.
You're not wrong.
That's why I try to keep them
I've been trying to get rid of for years.
I think I'll clean them and burn them.
-You will do well. Good night.
-Good night, kid.
Good night attire.
The perfect body in the
at the right time.
Did you see how we just happened to meet
here? I was talking to your father.
You did well.
Yeah, he was trying to...
to give me that
cowboy outfit.
Dad always tries to load
on somebody for that junk.
Really?
I've prepared something very nice for you
for you to wear in New York.
Really?
Would you like to
rehearse the chords...
about the song you're going to sing?
Of course.
If you come here we'll have better sound.
Good idea.
And the lighting is better.
I don't know if you remember her,
but you'll be playing that tune...
and it goes like this...
Wait a minute.
I want to do something.
I don't know about you, but...
I can't resist
to temptation any longer.
It's about time.
-Excuse me?
-I said, "It's about time."
So you wanted me before?
Of course, but all the time
you were making a racket.
So I was spending my nights for nothing
in freezing showers, staring...
moths to
bouncing on the lamps?
Moths?
Some were bouncing gracefully.
I hope you took notes.
I kept.
You do kiss like
like a real cowboy.
So there's one more thing
I'd like to establish.
Done.
Be gentle.
I would have had her
I would have taken care of it.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Be quiet, please.
I'll make a toast
for my son.
When he left here
he was a complete nobody.
A loser.
A lost body.
And now he's back.
Somewhat changed,
but I love him.
A toast to my son.
On my hot meatball.
Thanks, Dad.
You gave me a morale boost.
Only fire in the bundles
you didn't set me on fire.
I'd like you to meet the girl
who made me a different person.
This is Jake Leiper.
from Leipers Fork.
I honestly don't know what to say.
When Nick came with me to Tennessee
he thought he was on another planet.
This is how I feel
I feel the same way now.
You're ruining my hair, lover boy.
All I have to say is that
I hope tomorrow everything goes well...
to win the bet and Nick
to get his own cab.
Wait a minute...
Are you saying that
I'm gonna be a cab driver again?
I'm a singer now, Jake.
-He will become the new Sinatra.
-Take the cab.
You don't become a singer
in two weeks.
I think so.
From the moment I climbed aboard
I can't go back to the cabs.
Singing professionally is
a lot harder than you think.
But the audience was warm.
I think the farmers liked me a lot.
The farmers were
my family and friends...
and they clapped, too,
and me and the band.
Take the cab.
I don't want the taxi.
I mean, I'm gonna sing
just for one night?
Just one song.
And after that, we're done?
Are we done?
I hope not, Nick.
But that will depend on you.
Nick, you're spoiling our fun.
You finally couldn't help yourself.
and you admit it in front of me.
You're jealous of my talent.
I'm sorry?
Classic jealousy.
I don't envy you.
Nick, you know how I feel about you...
but you're not
a singer yet.
Right now you're like a robot.
You're still a slob.
Atsubalos?
Don't listen to her, Nick.
Is this how he's going to start his career?
We still haven't seen him,
Did we name him John?
He abuses the music
that I write.
Don't embarrass me in public.
I don't want to make a fool of myself either.
Ever since I got involved with you
you've been cooking the fish on my lips.
I'd rather have sat on Freddie's
and be quiet.
You should've gone after Freddie?
-Who's that?
-You don't know him.
Sit on him?
You wanted to fuck
with that fucking idiot?
I would if I lost.
But what do you care?
The guy's a total clown.
I had to.
What would you do?
-I wasn't going to sit on Freddie's ass.
-I haven't sat him yet.
What does "yet" mean?
You're gonna sit on him if you lose?
I don't know about you, but we
we rednecks honor our word.
Well, I think I'll forget about you, too.
and everything and everything.
Pay attention, googly eyes. I'm not
I didn't pick you, I just picked you...
and I did my best
I could with you.
And now you've got me on the rod.
Look, get off the pole that
you've ridden before you're on a cliff.
Reed?
You hurt him.
Don't trust men.
There goes the bet.
Really?
For you, not for me,
because I'm coming.
I'll be there.
I told you I'd take care of it.
Not now, Dad.
Come on, honey.
I didn't treat him right, Jesse.
I embarrassed him in front of his friends,
I took him away from his work.
I called him a slob.
It's not your fault.
Your career is on the line.
It's my fault. I turned them
his people against him.
Where he was grounded I went
and I introduced him to Freddie Hugo.
The audience will boo him.
Freddie's shop is where the
the sara, the mara and the bad company.
What if he makes it?
It's not unlikely.
You win the bet.
What's the harm?
The bad news is that he's going to take it upon himself
and she'll be seen by a great singer...
and if he doesn't make it
he's gonna get his ass kicked.
He's gonna blame it on the booze...
and will end up like the homeless
we see on the street.
I like your optimism.
I don't want him to go through that ordeal.
I'll ask Freddie to call it off.
I wonder who's knocking at my door?
-Well the partridge.
-Freddie, I want to talk to you.
Let's start the preliminaries
with discussion.
-I'm not joking.
-Neither am I.
Tonight the jokes end.
Come on in, boys.
Freddie, tonight is
your lucky night.
Don't expect him to come tonight.
How do you know?
Because he's been to Freddie's house.
Okay. I'm fine.
What do I care?
Taxi. I want to go somewhere.
Give me a break.
Not even with bullets.
The best for the best.
It's $18 a bottle,
baby.
16 if you buy it wholesale.
Speaking of which...
Time to relax a little.
I don't want to drink.
Have a drink and relax a little.
-I don't want to relax.
-As you wish.
I call off the bet.
No way.
You made a deal with the best
Manhattan's best lover.
So nothing is cancelled.
And if you want, you can get naked.
Shall I light the fireplace?
A little moonlight and soft music?
The rest of this does not need to be explained.
I love it.
-Good night, Freddie.
-Wait a minute.
What was that?
This...
was your passport...
for the world of Freddie.
Welcome.
Stop, bus.
I wear high heels. Do you think I can
fly all the way across town?
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
A bit of collegial solidarity.
No way.
Why not?
Hey, buddy? Can I take it for a ride?
Don't worry.
Well.
Move. Let's go.
Move. Here we go.
-Get off my horse.
-Xekina.
Come back.
My horn.
Be careful. Coming through.
Easy. Stop.
Where are you leaving the horse, mister?
-Are you crazy? Where are you going?
-Freddie Hugo.
Are you out of your mind?
The guy rode in on a horse.
Freddie Hugo's is where he goes.
Come here, woman.
-No more jokes.
-Jake, open up.
Open the door. It's Nick.
Take your clothes off, baby.
Put down the squeaky shoes and come to bed
and we'll have some fun.
-But what am I doing?
-Open the door, Freddie.
-Nothing.
-I'm coming.
Don't worry, Jake.
I'm coming.
You're wasting your time, buddy.
The door is three inches thick.
-You did the same to me again.
-What are you doing here?
I'm here to save you.
Thank you, but you're late.
If you want us to get along, you're gonna have to
stop throwing punches.
Okay, but you're not wearing
typical hero clothes.
-What are you doing here?
-Nothing.
I have friends in high places.
Yes, I'm telling you.
-Why did you cancel the bet?
-We were going to lose.
I don't think so.
Nick, we can't go on
as long as you keep acting like this.
Jake, I'm not kidding.
-I found us fighting.
-So did I.
I have never in my life completed anything.
This time I'm going all the way,
no matter what happens.
But you, you put aside pride
and your dignity...
to sleep with him?
That's enough.
You played the hero and you searched me.
But here's a bet that
I don't intend to lose, okay?
So take your pieces and go.
We won't be long.
I won't be long.
-Give us a break.
-You leave us alone.
-We have to go to Reinstone.
-We're not going anywhere.
You owe me another five years,
like we agreed, okay?
Five years and the bet expires.
You can't get away with it this time. Come on.
We're not done yet. The deal
will expire in 35 minutes. Let's go.
-Wait. That's my line.
-What's the difference?
The difference is that I have the horse.
-Let's go.
-Carrots.
My audience will beat you to a pulp.
35 minutes.
Don't be over-optimistic.
The public is bloodthirsty.
We're gonna kick their asses, Jake.
-Together?
-Yes, since we're a great duo.
Nick?
-We will not sing together tonight.
-What?
It was a term of their bet.
You have to sing alone.
Are you kidding me?
I salute the crowds.
How are we all tonight?
Good. Nice to see you again.
Let me introduce you to a new singer.
I want you to give him a warm welcome,
as you do here at Reinstone.
A warm applause
for Nick Martinelli.
Don't push him.
I don't see support.
Spaghetti Elvis.
We laughed, best man.
We were dazzled by your clothes,
best man.
It's shiny, isn't it? I told them
not to put too much spaghetti on.
I hear you're a discerning audience...
and that you're braying like donkeys.
-They crow like roosters.
-What?
I'm sorry, I meant that you were squawking
like roosters.
Is there any snow inside
in all that wool?
Is that wool or a mop?
It's a spider's nest.
They're beating him to a pulp.
I'll tell you a song
that my friend Jake wrote.
It is indeed very good and...
Get down.
All this in just two weeks?
Great.
I add another 5 years to the
on your contract, sweetheart.
We're not done yet, Freddie.
Stop it. You're the worst thing
we've seen in here.
All right, then.
Whatever the public wants.
Guys, let's pick up the pace a little bit.
Let's go.
What are you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
I'll sing the way I want to sing.
-How are you doing tonight?
-Better than you.
To listen to the
your little voices.
I want all of the
the beautiful women in this room.
I know there are many beautiful
women in here. Yell out.
Now I want them all to shout
all the horny women.
I knew you were hiding.
And now, do the lads listen to me?
I want the male population to shout.
I didn't say to yell at the wimps,
but the men. Yell out.
Well, here we go...
I want you to repeat what I say,
okay?
I'm gonna...
the...
burn...
the shop...
tonight.
Thank you all.
-Can you grab that for me?
-Again?
Well, buddy, I think
you have something that doesn't belong to you anymore.
I know.
I mean the contract.
You're good.
You can work here if you want.
Have you signed a contract?
I'll send you
The taxi bill.
Wait. I want to ask you something.
Was it good?
Unbelievable.
Fantastic.
How nice.
-Poor Freddie.
-Why do you feel sorry for him?
-I understand why he likes you.
-Is it my fault?
-Little boy.
-Why? -Why?
Are you asking? Look at the clothes you're wearing.
What's wrong with my clothes?
You cause traffic accidents.
And you wear very tight pants.
I didn't know he'd noticed.
-This is what it means to be loved.
-say it with an accent.
That's what it means to be loved.
Good evening, Mr Hugo.
Every night is beautiful
when you're rich, kid.
Hold it, Mr Hugo.
Wait a minute. Let me see my monogram.
Give copies to everyone.
- What an idiot.
- And you say little.
I'm gonna mess up your life.
-I'll see you later.
-You dumbass.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. I will make a
a break to drink some water
and have the band wear some
dry clothes.
Don't leave or they will compete
and the amateurs will compete.
Meat.
We want meat.
Eat the living.
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
How are you doing?
Where can I take you?
We want to go to a sushi bar.
Done.
Get in.
You want sushi?
It has become very popular.
Sushi bars have sprung up everywhere.
I'll tell you something but
keep it between us.
Do you think it makes you
good for you to eat raw fish?
You don't want to eat something
on beef?
Since you are in America
you must eat Italian food.
-Ravioli.
-Exactly. You got it. Look out!
Get your hands off me.
She's mine.
So...
see you later at our place?
-Which part?
-What time?
What would you say about the next century,
Freddie?
She likes to tease me.
Who's punching?
There's Morella.
I'd rather sit at home.
Let's have a little chat.
You're not gonna believe this, but the guy
you're gonna see tonight is dynamite.
-A glass of ice water.
-And me a scotch on the rocks.
-You don't have to get your knickers in a twist, Jesse.
-Hey, Gene.
Thanks for the loans.
You bailed me out.
-I'll give it to you as soon as possible.
-Don't worry.
I was gonna ask Freddie for it.
but I don't want to owe him.
That's why they call him a licker.
-Without voice.
-Very nice.
-I found you.
-Gone.
Come on, baby.
Tell me the truth.
Didn't you miss me?
No. What did you mean when you said
about our "place"?
I missed it. I meant my house.
Didn't I save you from that idiot?
Don't get me involved in your fantasies
in your fantasies. I've never been to your house.
I wouldn't come to your house
under any circumstances.
I like insecure women.
Shall we go to dinner? My treat.
-I lost my appetite.
- Girl...
Let me tell you,
don't push the rope too far.
You'll see that the one I discovered
will become my new star.
I'm gonna make a lot of money off of him,
you know what I mean?
-You make money from me too.
-You'll stay to attract people.
Do you want to go out to dinner tomorrow?
It's on me.
-Will I get my contract?
-You know that.
Freddie, there are two kinds of people
in this world...
and you don't belong to anyone.
Everything okay?
-Sorry about that.
-It was very interesting.
It's good to let loose once in a while.
When I get very stressed
I go like this...
Can you feel me?
The scurvy and junk food is
is the worst thing for taxi drivers.
Otherwise, New York
is a wonderful place.
Done. We don't want sushi. We want
we want to go to a place with cowboys.
Cowboy place? You got it.
I know a place like that, though.
I wouldn't normally recommend it.
Hang on. Banzai...
Well. Let's calm down a little.
Well, be quiet.
The situation requires the
due seriousness.
Tonight is a very important night
for our store.
Because tonight, on this very stage,
we will witness the birth...
of a new star of
of western and country music.
Cut that out.
I want to extend a warm welcome,
as befits the store,
the amazing, real cowboy,
the lively and drunken...
Mr. Edgar Branson.
This guy looks tough.
Shut up.
If you blow that up again.
I'll give it to you to eat.
-Understood?
-He's taking the role seriously.
If he was serious, he wouldn't be
he wouldn't wear a duck shirt.
This song I wrote
for my little baby.
I left home at 22
but I never really settled down...
like all men do.
who have stained the soul...
and their face
and inside they feel empty...
like the day my baby died.
I taught him.
Wait till it's over and you'll see.
That June morning,
when the sun was rising high...
and I was happy and smiling...
and there was no opposition
nor was there any shyness...
that morning that
I realized...
that this girl was going to be
my wife...
was the day my baby died.
To listen.
With white dress and flowers in hand
Was not to plough the field...
but despite its beauty...
she had to gather the crops...
Pick the crops?
Did he say he had to pick the crops?
He turned his back on me and left.
He said he'd be back in a minute
but the dress got caught in the wheel...
My eyes rolled in surprise
when I looked into her eyes...
because my God...
the tractor blew her to pieces?
The hand of fate crippled her...
under his tractor
...her father crushed her...
Blood and brains painted
the corn and the ears of corn and the ears of wheat...
all the bales.
I ran past her but
all I found...
were the pieces of my favorite
scattered around...
my love was a
a chopped-up corpse...
on the cold earth.
That is indeed how my Loretta died.
Get out of here.
I'm impressed. Where are you going?
do you find these "talents"?
Forget about him. Next week I'll bring
a man who's gonna set the dance floor on fire.
He's Indian but he sings the
cowboy songs better than anyone.
Wait till you see him first.
He wears a turban under his hat
and spurs. He's wonderful.
I'm not interested. But this lady
I am interested. You want to talk?
You'll talk to me because I have
I've got her contracts tied up.
-My condolences.
-See you next week.
-You are shameless.
-What's going on?
You're wasting time and money on every
but you don't help me.
Calm down.
Why am I stuck in this place
and I can't do anything else.
How can I buy back
my contract?
-'at. I'm not going to sit with you.
-Will you sit with me for 30 minutes?
-Freddie?
-Here.
You're selfish and stupid.
You're trying to get untalented lovers
to the marquee of Reinstone.
-Really?
-Exactly.
If I had money, I'd do this
a lot better than you.
-Seriously?
-Sure.
-Wanna bet?
-On what?
That anyone can
can be the first name in here.
- Let's go.
-Good. Here's what's gonna happen.
You'll have 2 weeks after
I've found someone.
I'll cover all your expenses.
If the one you find...
can even sing
just once without being ripped apart...
you'll win the bet.
Deal?
What will you bet?
The three years of my contract.
If I win, you tear it up.
I like women with vision.
So.
If you win, I'll tear up the contract.
If you lose, I'll add another five years.
-And you will sleep with me.
-Hold me. I don't accept.
If you don't take risks, you don't win.
Okay. I'll take that bet.
But I want to make one thing clear.
No surgeons, lepers and dead people.
Ordinary, normal people. Okay?
You don't want someone special, like me,
but a normal person.
Come on.
-He has a nice voice, don't you think?
-I'm willing to kill you right here and now.
You're picky too, aren't you?
Nice audition, man.
Let's go.
Come on, cut it out.
What do you mean? The guy has
innate talent. Look at him.
You choose the most useless
to fail.
Darling, that's what we agreed.
Do you want to quit?
I have never in my life given up.
Excuse me?
I'll pick the next normal
I see.
Whoever passes in front of me.
Whoever.
Did you see that?
Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
Bum. I saw your face.
Are you all right?
I'm sorry, but the guy
cut me off.
The bar for cowboys
is that way.
The race is on me.
But if you want to tip.
There you go.
Nobody saw anything?
Taxi drivers are not considered to be simple
and normal people.
Wait a minute. I didn't agree.
-I can't make him a singer.
-Exactly.
Where are the lepers when
you need them?
Well.
Things are simple.
You don't need to have a degree,
which you don't have, but I do,
to understand what's at stake.
What do you think?
-Where are you from?
-From New York...
Well, lover boy.
You want to talk about the bet?
-What bet?
-That you'll be a singer.
Are you kidding? I don't like them.
I don't even like these rednecks.
I also want to talk to her a little bit
so leave us alone.
Would you like to dance and
and maybe even make them?
Freddie, we said no to crazy people.
Should we pick someone else?
Wait a minute.
It's your fault my cab got wrecked.
Maybe you should be more friendly?
Why is it my fault?
Because instead of looking at the road
I was looking at you.
Oh, my God. Another horny one.
Raised again?
Me, Nick?
You know what?
You are beautiful beyond a doubt.
But I'm not that desperate.
Wait a minute.
What about the bet?
If you bet me I'd leave,
you win.
Good luck.
I'm here.
Wait. Come here.
I have something important to tell you.
-Can I come by your house tonight?
-What do you mean?
You just lost the bet. What time
to come by and pay me back?
The bet is not valid since
will not participate.
Darling, this is yours.
problem, not mine.
You want to be on top
or underneath?
You'll end up at the bottom of the river
if you don't get out of my way.
I like tough chicks.
Tonight you're in luck because you're going to get your-
I'm gonna kick your face and your suit.
Wait a minute. You lost and I won.
So pay up.
-Stop it, Freddie.
-Do that one more time.
If you insist on this bet,
fine.
But remember that my
you gave me two weeks.
-And when you want a hug...
-Hello?
don't call me. Call
the zoo.
Come here.
-What accident are you talking about?
-The one that happened on Manhattan West.
We didn't have an accident last night.
Hit all the right
side of the taxi.
Really? There were no accidents yesterday.
Was it another company?
No. At the door I noticed that
it had your logo on it.
How was the driver?
He was kind of stout.
It was kind of...
like that one over there.
Tony? How we doing? You all right?
You look changed.
Did you change your hair?
-Let me explain.
-What's that?
-I'm a little off my game.
-Are you crazy? You crashed it properly.
I tried not to crush an old lady.
And wreck my car?
You know I'm the one who's been punching out
who do that kind of damage to me?
Take it easy, Tony.
You're an emotional person.
You're pissed off. And I'm upset...
I've been sad. I didn't sleep all night.
I love my job.
My clothes show it.
I want you to leave.
Get the hell out of here,
you and your little bastards.
And take the cowgirl with you.
-Don't you like my clothes?
-Not at all.
-My outfit in general?
-Get out, you and your clothes.
Since you don't appreciate my taste,
I quit.
The guy's a freak.
Good for you, Humpty Dumpty.
Who's that?
I didn't want you to get fired.
Would you do me a favor and disappear?
-I can help you.
-I lost my job, you dumbass.
-Excuse me?
-Stupid dumbass.
-Don't talk to me like that.
-Really?
So listen to me.
Some may consider you
beautiful, but for me...
you're a dumbass from nowhere.
So take your cart and go.
You can get another job.
Are you an employment consultant? I like
this job. I have fond memories.
Ugly memories.
-Maybe I'll give you your job back.
-You're gonna ask Santa for it?
If you do what we suggested
Freddy will pay for the damage.
-Is that possible?
-Sure.
-Is he going to pay?
-Of course.
-Sure?
-Sure.
-Shall we go see Freddie?
-Okay. But don't take advantage of me.
Give me a break.
What do you think I am? Santa Claus?
The car's pretty badly damaged.
You have good taste.
We're talking about damage that will cost
at least $2,000.
By the saint.
Where's her sister?
I wouldn't give $2,000 for bullets.
to that clown.
-Carajoie?
-Who says so.
He's also a sniffer?
-So I won. I want my contract.
-Wait a minute.
Okay.
-Hi. Radiation, right?
-If he wins...
I'll pay for the damages.
And to show you who I am...
I'll bring radios, TVs,
everything everything. What do you think?
-We were not even signing a contract.
-Done.
Remember my scent when I come
to claim my prize.
Please don't shout.
We have to go.
-What are you waiting for? Come on.
-You didn't hear my price.
What price?
Didn't we say to pay for the damage?
No. That's what she asked for.
I want something else. I want...
-my own taxi.
-Excuse me?
Exactly.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Have you ever sung
in front of an audience?
No, never.
I want your honest
opinion on country music.
It's for the rubble.
"For the rubble."
That's a very big word.
We are in complete agreement.
-And now get out.
-Nice apartment.
I know.
-Take care.
-Have fun.
Are you upset that I asked for a cab?
Let me put it another way.
I expect everything from you.
We need to start rehearsals right away.
-I'll sing a song, won't I?
-You've got to learn about 50.
And in Reinstone, they have a tradition
of shouting down young singers.
-Do you play an instrument?
-I have an instrument that I scratch.
Come from my house to me
teach me a new song.
Can I come to your house?
So you can show me your instrument?
I'm not kidding.
I do have a big instrument.
Thank you.
Let's go to your house to
show me your instrument.
And I hope it's something
that plays music.
Done.
MARTINELLI FUNERAL HOME
You live in a funeral home?
I live above a funeral home.
Come on. Come on.
We'll take my private elevator.
Where are we going?
Let's go to the penthouse.
Why don't we go from the front
like the rest of the world?
Why we should avoid corpses,
coffins, zombies, and all that.
I leave the curtains open.
Okay?
Come on in.
-Why do you live in a funeral home?
-It's my father's.
-Where is the instrument?
-In the instrument room.
-In the instrument room?
-Doesn't everyone have a room like that?
There you go.
I told you I had a big organ.
-It is indeed big.
-Hold on to warm up a bit.
I don't think so.
-You want to sing something?
-Like what?
Anything.
Anything?
Done.
It starts like this.
Thank you and your
good night.
It was good, wasn't it?
See you again.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Are you out of your mind?
Didn't you see underneath?
May your mother rest in peace.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't want you to sing
when the store is open.
Who's the chick?
Jake, this is my father.
Patera, Jake.
-He waved.
-I understand that.
-Will you stay for dinner?
-No.
Sure. Thank you.
-No more rock and roll, you understand?
-I swear I'll change my repertoire.
Oh, my God.
That chick's got an incredible body.
-Will you handle her?
-I'll try.
-If you can't, let me know.
-I got it.
-Don't forget it.
-Done.
My father.
The screams and gestures had
make any sense?
The instrument is somewhat untuned.
I didn't say I was the best.
I want a job.
Country music is not only
work. It's a way of life.
-You want to talk about it when we eat?
-You got it.
No romance?
It looks pale.
So eat every day
or are you planning to open a restaurant?
Thank you, Mom.
No. This is how we eat every day. Why? Why?
With this much food you can feed the entire
a whole army.
Where we're going to take things
is different.
-Where are we going?
-What?
-Where are you going?
-We're going to my home country.
-Where?
-Tennessee.
This is his home.
Why would he go anywhere else?
-He's not going to learn anything here.
-Wrong move.
Whatever he had to learn, he learned.
His mind is now frozen.
He doesn't have to go anywhere,
or learn.
Mother, have pity on me, what's in the mind
My mind? Have you put a microscope on it?
Nick, you're still immature.
Me, immature?
Sure.
Look at your clothes.
Honestly, now.
Since you didn't accomplish anything here.
what are you going to do down there?
Forget it and become a pastry chef.
Nick, sonny, you almost had
I almost died giving birth to you.
Don't be a cowboy. Sleeping
with animals and catch diseases.
If you leave with that woman
you'll shame us all.
No one will shame anyone.
He's gonna be a country singer.
He will win the bet,
my contract, his cab...
but first and foremost,
he must go.
Thank you for your hospitality
and for giving birth to him.
By the way, I promise you I'll get him
feed him pizza once a day, okay?
You coming?
-You said it very well.
-Don't, Nick.
-Just give me a call, okay?
-I'll call you.
Goodbye.
VISIT AGAIN
THE LEIPERS FORK
Be careful.
We're going to get run over.
Watch the shoe.
Watch the shoe.
They kill and they don't pay.
We've made a fool of ourselves.
It's good to adapt as long as
you want to be a country singer.
Come on.
-Is it the shoe?
-What are you doing, Jake?
Hello, Miss Tubbs. How do you do?
Nice to see you.
What are you doing?
Have you seen my dad?
Not today.
Let me introduce you to a friend of mine
from New York, Nick Martinelli.
Good time.
-You say a "good time".
-Give us a break.
How are the soldiers doing?
That's very mature of you.
There's Dad.
I DON'T KNOW.
Don't get smart.
What are you making?
A piano.
-He's a bit slow, isn't he?
Slow-witted, you don't say anything.
-I missed you a lot.
-Me too, sweetheart.
-You're too cool.
-Thank you. I want you to meet Nick.
Hi.
-What's he doing there?
-He's trying to say hello.
-Time is good. What are you doing?
-Fine, how are you?
I can't wait to go home.
-Will you carry the bags?
-Excuse me. Are we done here?
Is he a bit of a slowpoke?
She's fine, Dad.
Fucking chicks.
I didn't understand what was going to happen
if you lose the bet.
Right. What's in it for Freddie?
I just won't take the
my contract.
-Just this?
-Only.
Tell me, do we have any local news?
Lem Kerner bought
a new pig.
It has the biggest bells and whistles
you've ever seen.
-Bigger than Starkwell's?
-I think so.
-If you want to go later and see it.
-Okay.
You want to see it too, Nick?
-Pig's cabbage?
-Yes.
No, thank you.
What I saw today is enough for me.
I'm fine.
-What's with this Nick guy?
-He needs a job, but he'll get it done.
-I mean if there's something between you.
-Don't talk nonsense, Dad.
It's not foolish for a father to want
to see his daughter settle down.
When you told me that again.
you introduced me to Barnett Cale.
I'm sorry about that.
And while we're on the subject,
he knows you came with this Nick guy.
It would be better if he stayed
away from both of us.
Great rehearsal. Let's give the platform
to our new star. Come on, Nick.
Done.
I am very happy to be here.
Thank you for participating
in my first live concert.
I have a special song...
from my neighborhood,
and it goes like this...
The guitar needs tuning.
You scared me, kid.
I thought you were going to explode.
-Let me do it again.
-No.
I want your honest opinion.
Let me show you how it moves
of a real country singer.
- Is that all?
-That's country music.
This is called rigor mortis.
You're an exception.
Give me a chord.
-Can you play something in country?
-And you ask?
Listen.
You'll be all right, kid.
-I was doing well.
-Calm down.
Say what I say.
Shall we go see the pig?
You're a joker, kid,
but not a country singer.
He's gonna be a singer, Dad.
He needs intensive lessons.
But first he will learn from horses.
Is this standard procedure?
You are a special case.
Really, how do I look?
You're not wearing the right clothes.
Don't they fit the occasion?
Stop the burger.
I'm caught.
If you know what I mean.
-This is a horse.
-I suspected as much.
Caress it,
it doesn't bite.
Two things you need to know
about horses.
First, don't stand behind them
so they don't kick you...
And that's the second one.
There goes the dance contest.
Come on, Nick. Come on, have fun with us.
Play music with us.
You should have fun.
That's what I do.
I thought you liked it.
Don't be a jerk.
We had fun.
Try again.
I know a guy so ugly...
who hangs a steak around his neck
to play with his dog.
You have to say it more vividly.
Feel it.
Let's go again.
I know a very ugly guy...
who hangs a steak around his neck
to play with his dog.
Wait.
Me?
The real cowboys stir
the peas and potatoes.
Useful information.
-What are you doing?
-I want to put butter on it.
You need to wet your toast.
I don't want to get my toast wet.
I just want to butter it.
-I'm showing you how we do it.
-I know how you do it.
You have no idea.
I'll eat my food the way I want.
You have to learn the basics.
The basics.
That is, the way you do it.
Let me get this straight.
Very tasty.
This is delicious too.
Let me try this one.
-That's very mature of you.
-At least I'm not a spastic.
Excuse me?
You've been getting on my nerves with your
with your instructions. Leave me alone.
I want to make you famous
and you take it as a joke.
Is that bad?
Yes. When your future is at stake
and you're acting like a stork.
Sturnos?
Turnip.
If you don't care, I won't give you
explain what it means.
Nicholas is leaving.
Where are you going?
I'm going to the cesspool to relieve myself.
The stork called me a nerd.
Unheard of.
Could you pass me the toast, please?
You think I'm a nerd?
Well...
I want the truth.
Give me the toast first.
and I'll tell you.
Never mind.
It's very dark.
What we call "pitch" darkness.
Okay.
Thank you, God.
I'll be a good boy. Taxi.
Are you okay?
Get in.
I don't need a ride.
I have my own car.
Don't you want to come in?
I'm a surveyor and I check the
country roads.
I would like to know what you think
about this road here.
I said get in.
I told you I'm busy. Go ahead
or I'll call the police.
You're blocking traffic.
He was definitely a maniac
axe murderer.
What am I doing here?
The place is full of them.
How nice. Country music.
There you go.
To thank the table 3
for the applause.
It enslaves us.
We're going to take a short break
and we'll come back.
Our audience is going nuts.
I want plenty of foam in my beer.
Are you from the city?
-From a big city.
-Knoxville?
New York.
Pizzas, discotheques...
room service.
Did you hear that?
The guy's from New York.
Don't make too much noise.
I don't want us to be a spectacle.
Give me a break.
How are the mobsters doing?
these days?
Fine, as always.
They get killed at work.
Can I ask you something?
How is it...
taking heroin?
Excuse me?
What is it like when you take heroin?
How I dislike cowboys.
Cowboys? Where did you see them?
Get a crew to do
fumigation.
-You're a cowboy case, aren't you?
-With sympathy, man.
Let's talk.
What's your name, city boy?
Nick Martinelli.
Well, well, well, well, well.
Just kidding.
My name is Barnett Cale.
Well, well, well, well, well.
You wanna go get a case of beer?
and tell me some news from the city?
Done. Grab a couple of beers.
for my buddy.
Let me guess...
Your hobby is autopsies?
What about you, slugs?
They make a lot of noise.
Good morning, Mom.
I want you to make me coffee
and eggs...
I'm in the mud...
and I'm looking at a duck.
Good time.
What are you doing here?
I hang out with the ducks.
-I feel terrible.
-You feel like crap.
Did you have to get wasted?
I don't know how you made it home.
Crawling.
But I did it with guts.
If you could see me, you'd be proud of me.
See you, guys.
Where did you go last night?
I found a guy and we got together.
We became a dyke and we partied
until the roosters were crowing.
And we drank a field of beer.
Why are you talking like that?
The guy talked like that all night.
He's kidding, right?
Wasn't it fun when I did it?
You acted like a little Hitler.
So, in order to know you, I'm gonna have to
I have to be more fun?
Maybe I'll learn a little better that way.
But how are you going to be fun?
Then let your friend help us.
This guy is more fun
...than a bunch of dice.
-What does that mean?
-I have no idea.
Who's the joker?
Wait a minute...
Kale.
-Barnett?
-Kale.
Barnett Cale?
-Exactly.
-That son of a bitch?
I don't believe my ears.
All the guy did was
cheat on me and lie to me.
Don't tell me he's pissed?
In this place you can
you can say and do whatever you want.
But if you want to live, I'd suggest
that you never mention that name again.
So I shouldn't invite him to dinner.
No.
Hard thing to do
family problems.
Wonderful, really.
I want to apologize to you
for what happened.
I didn't know there was an issue with the press.
-We used to sing together.
-Like you and me?
I was with him.
Don't worry about it.
Don't say that because I like to
learning about other people's pasts.
I have it as a hobby.
So I want you to give me
confess everything.
Okay.
He put me on the job. When
he got into drinking, I left him.
-Just this?
-Only.
I don't have time to teach you
everything about country music...
nor will I promise
how we're gonna have fun...
but I'll try not to
be exaggerating.
Stop the music.
I wouldn't have met him if
if you hadn't called me a stooge.
-So it's my fault?
-I didn't say it was your fault.
but all my life I've been surrounded
storms.
I have a cousin...
who is a professional steward.
The two guys we grew up with
are definitely stooges.
And the girl I was escorting
to the prom...
was not a sturgeon,
but now she's homeless...
You could say that life
is a disappointment.
This is a sad story.
Did I tell you my dog died?
No, you didn't tell me.
It was tragic.
You gotta be kidding me. But you do,
get your own cab?
Sure. As much as you want and
your contract.
You have to work hard
to get it.
I'll help you as much as I can.
if you help me.
You bet.
You got a deal, cowgirl.
Okay?
The band will be here soon
and I've got your clothes ready for you.
-Seriously?
-You're gonna love it.
I love new clothes.
See you later.
Budweiser,
you created a monster...
called Dearlstein.
In a lab,
under the tavern, in the alley...
makes beers with a lot of passion...
and in there Dr. Bud
puts blood and poison...
and whenever I drink them
I'm eaten by a junkie.
Budweiser,
you created a monster...
and my name is Durlastein...
and my name is Durlastein...
I'm Dearlstein.
I'm Dearlstein.
You look very handsome in those clothes.
They suit you perfectly.
You did good, Nick.
You made me proud.
-How do you like the clothes?
-I hate your tailor.
What's wrong with you?
I've made a fool of myself. I'm a taxi driver.
I'm not a cowboy.
Life has its difficulties, right?
Don't sprain my fur.
You want to practice a little and
your walking?
See how I walk.
This walk takes a little shaking,
a little pride and a little spunk.
-You see me? Can you do it?
-No problem.
Show me.
I must be a shaking, shaking, shaking
like I'm some kind of legionnaire.
-Don't jump around.
-Look who's talking.
Have you ever had an itch
in your crotch?
Do ladies ask such questions?
Did you?
You'll never know because this
I'll take this secret to my grave.
Good time.
Hello, Barnett.
Continue practicing.
Go back and forth.
Hey, Jake.
It's good to see you.
You look beautiful, as always.
You're doing well, keep going.
With this outfit, I'm sure
she's rehearsing for Halloween.
Lean more.
Don't bother us when we're working.
Are you working?
And what kind of work does he do?
You're doing well.
Don't lean forward.
Be supportive, but,
why is he doing this?
I'm teaching him to walk like a cowboy.
You got a problem with that?
-Did you ever have an itchy crotch?
-What's wrong with that thing?
Remember how it made you walk?
Try it.
Walk like this.
-That's right.
-I'm like Frankenstein.
-It's better, isn't it?
-I got the cologne.
With a couple of hours on horseback
you'll walk like Roy Rogers.
He's probably walking
like Dale Evans.
Here's how we park in Tennessee.
What are you doing, Barnett?
Hello. Take care of my vehicle.
Barnett, I've had too much already.
Don't be silly.
Wait a minute.
I told you about the time Jake and I
took a naked bath?
-You told me.
-Then I'll tell you...
for when we had gone
at the Tasty Freeze...
You told me that too.
Anyway...
me and Jake
we go way back.
How long have you known her?
What time is it?
I love you, man.
I'm going for the good guy.
Isoma...
The door slammed in my face.
What are you doing, Luke?
-How are you doing?
-Fine.
-I am very happy.
-This is Nick Martignonello.
-Martinelli.
-Nick Martinelli.
Will you have another beer?
-I've had enough.
-Nonsense. Bartender?
-Enough.
-Are you breaking up with us?
-Listen to me, Molt...
-Walt.
I'm not that thirsty
but still, thank you.
What's your problem, kid?
Why? Are you a doctor?
Shall we dance, cowboy?
Sure.
And I thought you weren't coming.
See you later, good guys.
She's crazy about me.
I hate this guy.
So?
In New York, you told me not to
to spread my legs.
Now we're in Tennessee.
And I'm very happy about that.
Easy, guys.
-It's good.
-What do you mean?
That is, the whole thing
isn't so bad.
Well done.
Keep going with that accent.
I'll tell you something I hope
that won't hurt you.
At first I thought
you'd be a complete failure.
And that it would be better
to train a pig.
How you make me like this.
He still wants me.
But in the end...
Sorry, buddy.
May I interrupt?
-No, you can't, buddy.
-Excuse me?
We're fine here, buddy.
Go somewhere else.
Thank you.
She's out of her mind.
I want to dance.
Barnett is not happy at all.
Love hurts.
Did I spoil your company, good guys?
You ruined it for us,
but I forgive you, Jake...
Did we hit a wall, Jake?
Hello, Molt.
Barnett wants
to dance.
All right, go ahead.
dance with him.
Come on, Jake. Love hurts.
Barnette, he's stealing your woman.
You're gonna let the wise guy
city slicker make a fool of you?
Are you saying I'm an embarrassment?
Not me. He did.
-Nice dress.
-You like it?
Yes. It's kind of revealing,
but nice.
I like to speak openly,
because that's my character.
And I think something
is going on between us.
Really?
Something tells me that the
you say that a lot.
True, but this time I mean it.
You don't even know me.
I know what I need to know.
The buddies have stopped
to be buddies.
I knew we'd get here.
Don't make a fuss
no matter what happens.
-I like that.
-What?
You're worried about me.
Of course I'm worried. How will
sing if you have no teeth?
Is that all I'm worth to you?
I didn't know you liked them.
slimy types, Jake.
I thought you liked him.
Barnett, watch your language...
because this one's gonna make you black in the
and he's gonna kick your ass and break your ribs.
-Can I have you as a decoy?
-Don't you have a tongue, you faggot?
-Calm down, Puke.
-Luke.
Leave us alone.
What are you trying to prove?
That I'm not
I'm not embarrassed by anyone.
You're doing fine on your own.
Let's go, Nick.
Should Nick back down?
Only this time
for your sake.
Chlechle.
Are you okay? Your teeth
are all in place?
You know you're no fun at all?
I don't know about you, but I already
I've already had enough fun. Shall we go?
Shall we go? I'll beat the shit out of him.
If you fight, I'll cancel the bet.
Understand?
Do you understand?
-Yes, Mom.
-Good. We're leaving.
You gave it to him and he understood.
Why are you pissed off?
It's no big deal.
-For you.
-After the matter is over.
-For you.
-Why do you want to go back inside?
Because I can't help it.
You can if you want to.
-Do you know what an Italian feud is?
-Yeah, so?
-Our own invention.
-What are you talking about?
Then go back inside and
get your ass kicked.
Excuse me?
Don't say that because you're not
you haven't seen me in action.
Those who kill themselves to play it
men don't impress me at all.
You won't leave us?
You have a point.
It's not right for me to interfere
with your past.
It just seems incredible to me that
you almost got engaged to that guy.
-What almost happened? We were engaged.
-No way.
No, don't tell me that.
You ruined my view
I had of you.
I thought you were past it.
all of this. But I guess not.
I have to reconsider my opinion that
I had formed about you.
Let me think about it.
You and I are human.
He's sort of human.
But Nick is forgiving.
Nick forgives everyone.
-You're a great guy, Nick.
-I know.
And you're a show-off.
And I know that.
-Am I right?
-You're doing fine.
You have improved a lot.
Daddy is rested
like my guitar.
What I'm saying...
is that I'm not in love...
but that I'm just sleepy.
-I see we're in a good mood tonight.
-I'm certainly in a good mood tonight.
-How's your jaw?
-Fine.
Do you want to rehearse some more
the last song?
-Now?
-Yes.
-Sure, let's go to yours...
-Mine...
-Why not? You need...
-It's quiet...
a little practice.
And as you practice, you get better.
Are you going to make noise all night?
Good night, kids.
-Bre dad.
-Just in time, Dad.
Should we save it for another time?
Anyway, you need...
-the practice.
-we're going to get a workout.
-Good night, Nick.
-Good night, Jake.
How are you gonna get through this night, Nick?
How the hell?
Damn.
Good night, Jake.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Nick.
Good night, Noah.
Good night, Nick.
Good night, Jake.
How I hate rednecks.
It's really getting to be a bummer
in you, sonny?
I have her in my heart.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you all for the
your warm applause.
I have a surprise for you tonight and I will
I'd like to introduce you to someone.
He's a special guest,
popular in many parts of our country.
Since when?
Tomorrow he is to make his first appearance
in New York City.
Please welcome
to Nick Martin.
Come on.
My legs have been cut off. Forget it.
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
I don't want to do it. That's it.
Don't be nervous.
I don't. My lips are just numb.
Never mind.
It's normal. When I first came out
I thought I was going to die.
I had a headache, stomach upset.
and a lump in my throat.
-And what did you do?
-I came in.
Thank you.
You've lifted my spirits.
You'll be fine.
Remember how we walk.
His crotch itches.
This is my first time on stage.
Do us a favor and come down.
It's good to see the
my fans here tonight.
Do you take us for idiots?
You don't know anything about country music.
How do you know Barnett
came by your house?
He didn't flush
and the cat got knocked up.
Classic Barnett.
You know what, Barnett?
Does your bladder have a problem?
You have a rusty zipper
and yellow boots.
He knows Barnett very well.
Your joke is colder
than a freezer.
What kind of appearance is that?
Did you comb your hair with a fishbone?
That's enough.
Time to start the first one, and
and probably my last performance.
Watch the tone.
Let's go a little faster.
I'm fine.
Thank you, me and my mom.
-You did it.
-About.
You're ready for New York.
Not yet.
Wait a minute, Nick.
-What are you going to do?
-To get my blood back.
Violence is not a solution.
Never mind me.
Take that, cowboy of the bad old days.
-Did you see it, John Wayne, female?
-He deserved it.
-I had to do this.
-You're late.
-I owed him.
-Next time.
-You gave me a nosebleed.
-Hey, leave us alone.
-You'll give me a complex.
-You wanna sing a little song?
-What about my complex?
-I'm glad to see you.
You insult my manhood.
Now I'm angry.
-How do I handle it?
-You just handled it.
My hero.
And he's just getting warmed up.
-Can I have you as my agent?
-You want Nick to sing again?
That's a great idea.
I will dedicate it to you
and especially to you.
What do we do?
Leave him alone. I'm never going to do it anyway.
I never liked the son of a bitch.
Hello, Tennessee.
You were a wonderful audience.
You showed your joy like a cat
when he eats a fish bone.
And so, Nick Martin bids you farewell
until the next tour, and...
God bless you all.
Well said.
-I think you get the point.
-I felt it on the stage.
Something like a continuous electrical discharge
between me and the audience.
It's probably the chili sauce.
-It was electrification, not sauce.
-I was just kidding.
I want to show you something.
You made me proud tonight...
and I want to give you this.
I know you'll be touched.
-Noah, I don't want to hurt you...
-So I want you to keep it.
Thank you, but you
looks better on you.
Not anymore. You've earned it.
Noah, do me a favor and hold it.
I want you to have it.
-You want to talk honestly?
-Sure.
You're a good man, a good Christian.
and a good farmer.
Your clothes, however, are not.
Believe me, these are the most
ugly clothes I've ever seen.
You're not wrong.
That's why I try to keep them
I've been trying to get rid of for years.
I think I'll clean them and burn them.
-You will do well. Good night.
-Good night, kid.
Good night attire.
The perfect body in the
at the right time.
Did you see how we just happened to meet
here? I was talking to your father.
You did well.
Yeah, he was trying to...
to give me that
cowboy outfit.
Dad always tries to load
on somebody for that junk.
Really?
I've prepared something very nice for you
for you to wear in New York.
Really?
Would you like to
rehearse the chords...
about the song you're going to sing?
Of course.
If you come here we'll have better sound.
Good idea.
And the lighting is better.
I don't know if you remember her,
but you'll be playing that tune...
and it goes like this...
Wait a minute.
I want to do something.
I don't know about you, but...
I can't resist
to temptation any longer.
It's about time.
-Excuse me?
-I said, "It's about time."
So you wanted me before?
Of course, but all the time
you were making a racket.
So I was spending my nights for nothing
in freezing showers, staring...
moths to
bouncing on the lamps?
Moths?
Some were bouncing gracefully.
I hope you took notes.
I kept.
You do kiss like
like a real cowboy.
So there's one more thing
I'd like to establish.
Done.
Be gentle.
I would have had her
I would have taken care of it.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Be quiet, please.
I'll make a toast
for my son.
When he left here
he was a complete nobody.
A loser.
A lost body.
And now he's back.
Somewhat changed,
but I love him.
A toast to my son.
On my hot meatball.
Thanks, Dad.
You gave me a morale boost.
Only fire in the bundles
you didn't set me on fire.
I'd like you to meet the girl
who made me a different person.
This is Jake Leiper.
from Leipers Fork.
I honestly don't know what to say.
When Nick came with me to Tennessee
he thought he was on another planet.
This is how I feel
I feel the same way now.
You're ruining my hair, lover boy.
All I have to say is that
I hope tomorrow everything goes well...
to win the bet and Nick
to get his own cab.
Wait a minute...
Are you saying that
I'm gonna be a cab driver again?
I'm a singer now, Jake.
-He will become the new Sinatra.
-Take the cab.
You don't become a singer
in two weeks.
I think so.
From the moment I climbed aboard
I can't go back to the cabs.
Singing professionally is
a lot harder than you think.
But the audience was warm.
I think the farmers liked me a lot.
The farmers were
my family and friends...
and they clapped, too,
and me and the band.
Take the cab.
I don't want the taxi.
I mean, I'm gonna sing
just for one night?
Just one song.
And after that, we're done?
Are we done?
I hope not, Nick.
But that will depend on you.
Nick, you're spoiling our fun.
You finally couldn't help yourself.
and you admit it in front of me.
You're jealous of my talent.
I'm sorry?
Classic jealousy.
I don't envy you.
Nick, you know how I feel about you...
but you're not
a singer yet.
Right now you're like a robot.
You're still a slob.
Atsubalos?
Don't listen to her, Nick.
Is this how he's going to start his career?
We still haven't seen him,
Did we name him John?
He abuses the music
that I write.
Don't embarrass me in public.
I don't want to make a fool of myself either.
Ever since I got involved with you
you've been cooking the fish on my lips.
I'd rather have sat on Freddie's
and be quiet.
You should've gone after Freddie?
-Who's that?
-You don't know him.
Sit on him?
You wanted to fuck
with that fucking idiot?
I would if I lost.
But what do you care?
The guy's a total clown.
I had to.
What would you do?
-I wasn't going to sit on Freddie's ass.
-I haven't sat him yet.
What does "yet" mean?
You're gonna sit on him if you lose?
I don't know about you, but we
we rednecks honor our word.
Well, I think I'll forget about you, too.
and everything and everything.
Pay attention, googly eyes. I'm not
I didn't pick you, I just picked you...
and I did my best
I could with you.
And now you've got me on the rod.
Look, get off the pole that
you've ridden before you're on a cliff.
Reed?
You hurt him.
Don't trust men.
There goes the bet.
Really?
For you, not for me,
because I'm coming.
I'll be there.
I told you I'd take care of it.
Not now, Dad.
Come on, honey.
I didn't treat him right, Jesse.
I embarrassed him in front of his friends,
I took him away from his work.
I called him a slob.
It's not your fault.
Your career is on the line.
It's my fault. I turned them
his people against him.
Where he was grounded I went
and I introduced him to Freddie Hugo.
The audience will boo him.
Freddie's shop is where the
the sara, the mara and the bad company.
What if he makes it?
It's not unlikely.
You win the bet.
What's the harm?
The bad news is that he's going to take it upon himself
and she'll be seen by a great singer...
and if he doesn't make it
he's gonna get his ass kicked.
He's gonna blame it on the booze...
and will end up like the homeless
we see on the street.
I like your optimism.
I don't want him to go through that ordeal.
I'll ask Freddie to call it off.
I wonder who's knocking at my door?
-Well the partridge.
-Freddie, I want to talk to you.
Let's start the preliminaries
with discussion.
-I'm not joking.
-Neither am I.
Tonight the jokes end.
Come on in, boys.
Freddie, tonight is
your lucky night.
Don't expect him to come tonight.
How do you know?
Because he's been to Freddie's house.
Okay. I'm fine.
What do I care?
Taxi. I want to go somewhere.
Give me a break.
Not even with bullets.
The best for the best.
It's $18 a bottle,
baby.
16 if you buy it wholesale.
Speaking of which...
Time to relax a little.
I don't want to drink.
Have a drink and relax a little.
-I don't want to relax.
-As you wish.
I call off the bet.
No way.
You made a deal with the best
Manhattan's best lover.
So nothing is cancelled.
And if you want, you can get naked.
Shall I light the fireplace?
A little moonlight and soft music?
The rest of this does not need to be explained.
I love it.
-Good night, Freddie.
-Wait a minute.
What was that?
This...
was your passport...
for the world of Freddie.
Welcome.
Stop, bus.
I wear high heels. Do you think I can
fly all the way across town?
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taxi!
A bit of collegial solidarity.
No way.
Why not?
Hey, buddy? Can I take it for a ride?
Don't worry.
Well.
Move. Let's go.
Move. Here we go.
-Get off my horse.
-Xekina.
Come back.
My horn.
Be careful. Coming through.
Easy. Stop.
Where are you leaving the horse, mister?
-Are you crazy? Where are you going?
-Freddie Hugo.
Are you out of your mind?
The guy rode in on a horse.
Freddie Hugo's is where he goes.
Come here, woman.
-No more jokes.
-Jake, open up.
Open the door. It's Nick.
Take your clothes off, baby.
Put down the squeaky shoes and come to bed
and we'll have some fun.
-But what am I doing?
-Open the door, Freddie.
-Nothing.
-I'm coming.
Don't worry, Jake.
I'm coming.
You're wasting your time, buddy.
The door is three inches thick.
-You did the same to me again.
-What are you doing here?
I'm here to save you.
Thank you, but you're late.
If you want us to get along, you're gonna have to
stop throwing punches.
Okay, but you're not wearing
typical hero clothes.
-What are you doing here?
-Nothing.
I have friends in high places.
Yes, I'm telling you.
-Why did you cancel the bet?
-We were going to lose.
I don't think so.
Nick, we can't go on
as long as you keep acting like this.
Jake, I'm not kidding.
-I found us fighting.
-So did I.
I have never in my life completed anything.
This time I'm going all the way,
no matter what happens.
But you, you put aside pride
and your dignity...
to sleep with him?
That's enough.
You played the hero and you searched me.
But here's a bet that
I don't intend to lose, okay?
So take your pieces and go.
We won't be long.
I won't be long.
-Give us a break.
-You leave us alone.
-We have to go to Reinstone.
-We're not going anywhere.
You owe me another five years,
like we agreed, okay?
Five years and the bet expires.
You can't get away with it this time. Come on.
We're not done yet. The deal
will expire in 35 minutes. Let's go.
-Wait. That's my line.
-What's the difference?
The difference is that I have the horse.
-Let's go.
-Carrots.
My audience will beat you to a pulp.
35 minutes.
Don't be over-optimistic.
The public is bloodthirsty.
We're gonna kick their asses, Jake.
-Together?
-Yes, since we're a great duo.
Nick?
-We will not sing together tonight.
-What?
It was a term of their bet.
You have to sing alone.
Are you kidding me?
I salute the crowds.
How are we all tonight?
Good. Nice to see you again.
Let me introduce you to a new singer.
I want you to give him a warm welcome,
as you do here at Reinstone.
A warm applause
for Nick Martinelli.
Don't push him.
I don't see support.
Spaghetti Elvis.
We laughed, best man.
We were dazzled by your clothes,
best man.
It's shiny, isn't it? I told them
not to put too much spaghetti on.
I hear you're a discerning audience...
and that you're braying like donkeys.
-They crow like roosters.
-What?
I'm sorry, I meant that you were squawking
like roosters.
Is there any snow inside
in all that wool?
Is that wool or a mop?
It's a spider's nest.
They're beating him to a pulp.
I'll tell you a song
that my friend Jake wrote.
It is indeed very good and...
Get down.
All this in just two weeks?
Great.
I add another 5 years to the
on your contract, sweetheart.
We're not done yet, Freddie.
Stop it. You're the worst thing
we've seen in here.
All right, then.
Whatever the public wants.
Guys, let's pick up the pace a little bit.
Let's go.
What are you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
I'll sing the way I want to sing.
-How are you doing tonight?
-Better than you.
To listen to the
your little voices.
I want all of the
the beautiful women in this room.
I know there are many beautiful
women in here. Yell out.
Now I want them all to shout
all the horny women.
I knew you were hiding.
And now, do the lads listen to me?
I want the male population to shout.
I didn't say to yell at the wimps,
but the men. Yell out.
Well, here we go...
I want you to repeat what I say,
okay?
I'm gonna...
the...
burn...
the shop...
tonight.
Thank you all.
-Can you grab that for me?
-Again?
Well, buddy, I think
you have something that doesn't belong to you anymore.
I know.
I mean the contract.
You're good.
You can work here if you want.
Have you signed a contract?
I'll send you
The taxi bill.
Wait. I want to ask you something.
Was it good?
Unbelievable.
Fantastic.
How nice.
-Poor Freddie.
-Why do you feel sorry for him?
-I understand why he likes you.
-Is it my fault?
-Little boy.
-Why? -Why?
Are you asking? Look at the clothes you're wearing.
What's wrong with my clothes?
You cause traffic accidents.
And you wear very tight pants.
I didn't know he'd noticed.
-This is what it means to be loved.
-say it with an accent.
That's what it means to be loved.