Rim of the World (2019) Movie Script
[engines rumbling]
[ominous music]
[general on screen]
I repeat, we do not see the ship.
I do.
It's right outside the window.
Cortez is dead.
[general] Send the coordinates
to Dr. Fielding at JPL.
Ken!
I don't read the coordinates.
I need them here at JPL.
[general] Major Collins, go to manual.
Put the coordinates on the crypto-key
and get it down to Dr. Fielding
at JPL yourself.
[alarm beeping]
- Come on! Come on!
- [metal rattling]
Major Collins, get out of there.
- [gasping]
- [ship alarm blaring]
[creature snarling]
[Collins screaming]
[Mary] Where's your retainer?
Mom, NASA's testing new boosters
using solid rocket fuel.
Those things can incinerate anything.
Anything else we're forgetting?
Sunscreen, good.
You ready, bud?
Just a few more minutes.
Sweetie, you don't need any more time
in that chair.
If you're worried about my posture,
this chair is ergonomic.
Look, my spine just perfectly aligns.
Alex, honey,
there is a whole world out there
beyond these screens.
There's nothing to worry about.
You're gonna make friends.
[computer chimes]
I have friends.
Come on. Let's go.
Ooh! Only wear designer, esskeetit
Ooh! Hoppin' out the Wraith, esskeetit
- Smashin' on your... esskeetit
- [Dariush laughing]
Runnin' up a check with no limit
Poppin' on, poppin' on, poppin' on
Chill!
Got a new car, got a new...
And I got a new deal
Ooh! Only wear designer, esskeetit
Hoppin' out the Wraith, esskeetit
Smashin' on your... esskeetit
Runnin' up a check with no limit
Poppin' on, poppin' on, poppin' on
Got a new car, got a new...
And I got a new deal
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, baby.
Gonna be a lot
of cute girls up there, Dariush,
knock 'em dead.
Don't be a creep, Dad.
Dariush...
I love you, son.
No matter what.
[Dariush] All right, Jacobi, let's bounce.
[sighs]
What did you say your relationship
was again?
She's my niece.
It's my sister-in-law's.
You can kinda see it in the eyes.
What's your business here?
She's got a spelling bee out in Camarillo.
How many L's in Camarillo?
You're gonna do good in America.
Okay. Let's go. Come on.
You're light. Nope. More.
There you go.
Pleasure doing business with you, kid.
It drips on down in a mist from above
She's just the girl, she's just the girl
The girl you want
Where to?
Rim of the World. Okay.
[horns honking]
You know, I went to camp
when I was a little girl.
You've said.
- That's where I met Flora Beetworth.
- [sirens blaring]
I mean, I met a lot of cool people,
but she was the coolest.
[man] It's okay, Alex.
[Mary] Are sure you wanna take
your dad's watch?
Mom, I'll take care of the watch.
Come on, honey.
Come on, you can do this.
It's going to be great.
Look how beautiful it is.
Rim of the World.
This is gonna be so awesome.
Look at all the other kids your age.
Alex! I am your leader, Logan.
Now, if you look around,
you'll see a lot of interesting things.
First interesting thing we have
is Carl right here.
He is the black man on the campus.
We gonna teach you
about black culture, pay attention,
gonna only do this once. Ready?
[grunting]
Snap!
That's called the black man handshake.
[laughing]
[Logan] Okay, don't wanna see you
doing that. Only for black people.
Oh, hey, use retail method
when folding my clothes, Jacobi.
Okay? I don't wanna see any creases.
- [Logan] Retail what?
- Retail method.
- What's that?
- What rich people do. You wouldn't know.
[Logan] Don't turn your back,
I'll slap you.
- [Mary] They're just kidding.
- Alex, look, see we got music over here.
- ...trees and the sky...
- [Mary] Music!
[Logan]
Come on, Alex, dance a little bit.
You know how to dance?
[Mary] You always wanted to learn
how to play guitar... and dancing.
Keep playing, I'm dancing.
Keep playing, I'm dancing.
I'm very uncomfortable
These girls are uncomfortable
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies. Cool.
Maybe next time, no originals,
play the people what they want.
Let's go.
[Mary] It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Uh, this, this is Conrad right here, okay.
Conrad, he's a little...
[Mary] Look at these people
you're meeting.
Sheesh, Conrad.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
Welcome to the jungle, ginger nugget.
[Logan] Nope, can't call him that.
Second of all, put your titties away.
What? These titties?
Don't bounce the titties,
I told you to put them away.
Why's your shirt so small?
It can't even connect.
[gasping] You must be Alex!
Welcome to the Rim of the World
Adventure Camp.
Thanks.
Back there is registration,
get checked in, get your cabin number.
And we'll sign you up
for some afternoon activities.
Hey, how are your pipes?
- What?
- Our musical this year
is Fiddler on the Roof!
If I were a rich man
La da da da da...
Wait a second.
I think I just found my Tevye.
You're going to have a heck of a time.
Very exciting!
[in Mandarin]
I offer greetings, my fair princess.
I humbly submit my name, Alex.
She seemed nice.
All right, who's next?
China?
[laughs]
Okay, um...
No, no, no.
Ni hao!
Um...
Welcome... to... camp!
I love...
Jackie Chan.
Do you understand the words
comin' out of my mouth? Okay?
Move along.
Wow. China.
My man, where you been, baby?
You remember the black man hand...
- Nope.
- You said I can't do it.
I was testing you.
Good shit, baby. Good shit. Move along.
[Dariush] You gotta start
wearing the silk.
That's what gets the girls.
You can't wear... Never mind.
Ooh!
Mmm-mm-mm.
Put it in my box.
I'm sorry. What?
Put it in my box.
- Uh...
- Just take it out and put it in my box.
Oh...
You saying in front of a lot of people
right now.
You sure about that?
Can you put
your cell phone in the box,please?
Whoo! Phone!
Yes. Yeah, I thought
you meant something else.
- I was...
- What'd you think I meant?
[chuckling] You don't wanna know
what I thought you were...
- Dariush. Did you...?
- No, no, no, no.
- Dariush.
- I didn't think that, no. I didn't...
- Oh...
- I didn't...
You know what, to be honest with you,
I left my phone at home.
- I don't have my cell phone with me.
- Ah. Okay.
Okay, I better say goodbye to you now
before I embarrass you in public.
You know what that means?
No, Mom!
Ain't no mountain high enough
Mom, you said you wouldn't.
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Okay.
I love you.
Have fun.
[kisses]
[girl whooping]
Hold this.
What's up, tool?
You ready?
This is gonna be fun.
Cool helmet.
[laughing]
[Alex] Don't look down.
Don't look down.
[panting]
All right, Zhenzhen, you are good to go.
Safety first.
Mm-hmm. 'Sup, girl? I'm Dariush.
Is this a layoverbecausewe're making
that connection, you feel me?
[grunts]
- Oh, all right.
- [laughs]
That pickup line was the worst
I've ever heard, man.
I got game. Girls fall when they see me.
Yeah, they fall off the zip line
and almost commit suicide.
No, they fall in love.
- [Logan laughs] Is that right?
- [Dariush] That's right. Like that one?
[Logan] It was cool...
But you should've said it to her, not me.
- [Dariush] Next time.
- Don't use it on me.
Carrot Top's up next, you ready, Alex?
Let's do this, baby. Come on.
Come to the edge.
Look, right over to the edge. There we go.
Come on, come to the edge.
- All you gotta do is breathe.
- I can't. I can't.
Breathe. Look at me. Look at me,
all you gotta do is breathe. Okay?
Close your eyes and when you open them
you'll be on the other side.
- I can't, I can't, I can't!
- The other side of the zip line...
[voice echoing]
You won't die, you won't die!
Okay.
[panting]
[man] Maybe camp's just not for you.
Okay?
[Alex panting]
Hey, hey, stop.
So, you're this summer's chickenshit, huh?
[kids whispering]
[woman on TV] A NASA spokeswoman has said
"The agency's repeated attempts
to contact the International Space Station
are failing."
But stopped short
of revealing possible causes.
When asked if the ISS
and it's three scientists onboard
could be in danger,
the agency held firm
that it is doing everything it can
to restore communication.
Meanwhile, reports
of observed troop movements...
- [Carl] Toy Story was messed up.
- [Logan] How?
Take the third one, for example,
that teenager,
he represents the white folks.
[Logan] Huh?
And Cowboy, Spaceman
and Mr. and Mrs. Potato-people,
they represent the brothers.
- Okay, so let me get this straight.
- Uh-huh.
- We're the toys.
- Preach.
And when the white man leaves the room,
we get to have fun.
We get to shake it up.
But when the white man
comes back in,
we gotta get stiff
and do what they tell us to do.
Now you're on my level.
So it's obviously the ruling class
justification
for the inferior conditions
of the working class.
- My brother!
- [Logan] What about Finding Nemo?
[Carl] Don't say nothing bad
about Finding Nemo.
[man] Okay, Alex!
[Logan] One more question. Why are we
talking like black men from the '80s?
- [Carl] That's what they want us to do.
- Preach, brother.
[Carl] Got us with all these white kids,
- you see any black kids?
- I see one.
[Carl] Dariush? He got enough money,
he damn near white.
[man] Alex.
Alex. Alex!
Alex, come on!
[counselor] All right, keep up.
[girl] I can't feel my legs.
I'm falling behind.
I'm so tired!
Move! Shotgun!
Yep, yep, yep!
Campers in the back.
- What?
- Campers in the back.
Rosa Parks fought for my right
to sit up here, so...
- Really, dude?
- Keep driving.
Rosa ain't fight for shit
for your lil' chunky ass, get in the back.
And don't slam my door,
you little thick ass... Don't slam my door!
- All right. y'all the king is back.
- [man] Come on, Dariush.
- [door slams]
- All right, scoot over, man.
- Move, man. My nuts is hot.
- [Alex] Sorry.
You're making me chafe, scoot over.
Hope y'all not afraid of sharks.
Put y'all seat belt on.
'Cause my license is suspended.
[Dariush]
Wait, your license is suspended?
- Just a little bit.
- [Dariush] What does that mean?
[Logan]
It means let's not get pulled over.
Ah, sorry guys, some kid shit the canoe
while shooting the rapids.
[all] Aw!
[woman] Hey, Cosmo, we're gonna need
the second hose down here.
It'll just be a few more minutes.
What? Ain't nobody scared of a little poo.
Okay, I am deathly afraid of a lot of poo.
It's more poo than canoe in there.
Two kids shit the van on the way here
and we still made it.
And I don't want to be Patient Zero
for a pink eye epidemic.
So just calm down.
Wait a minute, we here for canoeing?
I thought we was motorboating.
[sputtering]
[laughing]
You like that? Gimme some.
Okay, you know what?
That's inappropriate, Dariush.
Although I am flattered.
- [woman] Is that a new necklace?
- [Carl] Is that a new hat?
[woman] It is.
I got it at Paradise Island.
[Alex] Where are you going?
[Carl] It makes your eyes pop.
[Alex] Zhenzhen!
Zhenzhen, do you know where you're going?
I don't think we should wander this far.
Maybe we should head back?
Zhenzhen, do you know how to get back?
Hello?
[cell phone ringing]
Ooh!
What are you doing here?
Just dropped a deuce.
Shit I just took back there,
been touching cloth since last night.
- What?
- Yeah.
Between me and you, I just turned
the evergreens brown up in this joint.
Let me talk to you for a minute.
- No, don't touch me.
- Come on.
- It's exposure therapy.
- That's unsanitary.
I'm gonna help you conquer your fear.
No! What? Wait, no. No!
- Please, no.
- I'm helping you, calm down.
- It's okay, I got you.
- Please, no, no, no, no.
- Look down.
- No, please.
- I'm trying to help you.
- Please, no.
- Yeah, you can.
- No, please!
- Stop. I can't. Let go.
- I'm trying to help.
- Calm down, man.
- No, please!
[boy] Let him go!
I'm trying to...
Let him go.
Move along, mountain hobo.
- We've got no qualms with you.
- No.
- [Alex] Help me. Help me!
- I'm not gonna ask you again.
Huh?
Uh-huh. Come over here.
- [Alex] Oh, ow.
- Big mistake, bro.
- [Dariush grunts]
- Ow!
Ooh. Five years of Krav Maga, bitch.
I'll Gal Gadot you so hard right now.
What's your ground game?
What? What? Unh! [grunts]
[thuds]
[Dariush groans]
You okay?
Thanks.
Yeah.
- Who are you?
- My name is Gabriel.
You live around here?
Yeah. Yeah.
You guys are from the, um,
the camp, right?
- She's not much of a talker.
- You know what? You know...
You know what? That was a lucky punch.
Lucky punch. Yeah, you know,
I haven't acclimated to the altitudes yet.
So my reflexes are kinda...
[pants] sub-par.
[loud booms]
[booming continues]
What the hell was that?
[cell phone alarms beeping]
What does it say?
It's the emergency broadcast system.
"All civilians are to evacuate
metropolitan areas immediately.
Under no circumstances
approach any unknown aircraft."
It's the next 7-Eleven.
We gotta get back to the van.
Anyone know the way?
- [Dariush] Uh...
- I do.
Follow me.
Okay. Whoa! Whoa.
Slow your roll,Dora the Explorer,
all right, this is my clique.
Soldiers, out! [scoffs]
[Gabriel] Let's go.
You guys know if...
You...
[sighs]
[panting]
Everyone's gone!
[Dariush] Assholes!
Probably got the emergency signal
and went back to camp.
- [loud boom]
- Oh!
What the fu...?
Looks like explosions,
in the upper atmosphere.
[Gabriel] Call and have them send
the van to pick you up.
It's dead!
I had 90% two seconds ago.
Piece of shitBoost Mobile.
Mine's dead, too.
[distant whooshing]
[jet engines roaring]
- Whoa! Ah!
- Ah!
Oh my God, it's Independence Day.
It's June, Gabriel!
Oh, wait, maybe North Korea's invaded!
Zhenzhen, call it off!
We just need to wait here until the adults
realize they left us and come back.
Oh, man! What if they never come back?
I'm gonna die here with you losers?
I never even had sex before!
I'ma clear that up. I had sex...
I had sex before, I mean...
I haven't had sex with two girls at once.
That's what I mean.
- I told you I had sex 'cause...
- No.
All right, hey, look. We're not gonna die!
It's probably just a forest fire.
We gotta get going,
bears out here can be crazy.
Whoa! Whoa! Okay, slow your roll.
Did you just say bears?
I don't do so well with bears, man.
I'm not trying to get DiCaprio'd
up in here!
- Look, no one does well with bears.
- Oh, whoa. Uh...
ask Werner Herzog.
Grizzly Man lived with those things
for years, so check that out.
- Did you watch the end of that movie?
- "Did I watch..."
- Yeah, I watched... No, I didn't.
- No, dude. Okay, stop. Gabriel's right.
Black bears are opportunistic carnivores.
We're not gonna survive the wilderness
- through the night.
- Then let's go! Come on!
[all panting]
[Dariush yelling]Hello!
Hello!
Where is everybody?
Is anyone here?
[Dariush] Yo, do you see anybody?
What's that?
"Gone down mountain..."
Oh, they left us!
Oh, sh...
- Not all of them!
- [Dariush] Huh? It's Heavy Metal Conrad.
- [Alex] Conrad!
- [Gabriel] Conrad!
[Dariush] Is he dead?
He's breathing. He must have slept
through the evacuation.
Okay, what kind of asshole
sleeps through an evacuation?
Wake him up.
Uh...
I don't think that... that was milk.
Line's dead.
It's 'cause the power's out.
You know what an EMP is?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's that music white people dance to.
No, that's EDM!
EPM stands for electromagnetic pulse.
A nuclear explosion
in the upper atmosphere can cause one.
And it knocks out most electronics,
over a really big area.
But what does that mean?
It means nothing works.
Not even cars?
Well, you guys have food
and a roof over your head.
You could do a lot worsethan staying
- and waiting this out.
- Wait, waiting what out?
[loud explosion]
Shit! Come on, come on, come on!
Those are F-22 Raptor
air superiority fighters.
[Gabriel] What are those ships
they're fighting?
I've never seen anything like them.
[engines roaring]
[Dariush]
Run! Go, get the hell out here. Go!
- [gunfire]
- Hurry up!
Go, go, go!
- Move out of the way!
- [guns blasting]
[Alex] Come on, come on!
Go!
Oh! Look out!
- Look out, look out!
- Whoa!
[all grunting]
[groaning]
- [gunfire blasting]
- [engines roaring]
What's going on?
What?
[yelling]
[all groaning]
What is that? [coughing]
- [Alex] It's a Dragon capsule.
- [Gabriel] How do you know all this stuff?
There's a reason my mom sent me
to outdoor camp.
[Dariush] Oh, God, that thing's huge.
What the hell?
- No, don't touch it! Dude!
- Oh! Ah!
It's still hot from re-entry.
- Oh, does anyone have any water?
- [Alex] Good idea.
Thanks. thanks.
[gulping] Mmm...
You serious?
- What?
- Gimme it.
What?
[water hissing]
You're not gonna open that thing, are you?
There could be someone inside.
No, leave it be. All right?
- [Alex] What?
- We don't know what this shit is.
- [Alex] Don't touch it.
- [sniffs] Ew.
This is animal kingdom out here, bitches.
All right, survival of the fit...
[clangs]
Hello. Is... is anybody in here?
- [all] Ah!
- [moaning]
[Alex] Guys!
[Dariush] Come on, come on, come on!
I thought space was supposed
to make you weightless?
- [screams]
- [Alex] We're not in space, dude.
[wheezing, groaning]
- Where am I?
- At Rim of the World Adventure Camp.
- Near Big Bear.
- This is a camp?
Yeah, I was disappointed too, but...
Coordinates all wrong.
Pasadena... Dr. Fielding.
I'm sorry, but we're not near Pasadena
right now.
- JPL!
- JPL?
The Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
It's part of NASA.
[Gabriel] Try not to move as much, okay?
- Try not to move as much.
- The key!
The key.
Take it to JPL, Dr. Fielding.
It has everything on it.
Excalibur, everything.
- [creature snarling]
- Go!
[Dariush] What the actual shit?
- You're gonna die if we leave you.
- We'll all die if you don't!
Run!
[screaming]
Was that an alien?
[Gabriel] Run!
Keep going, come on! Let's go!
[snarls]
[growling]
[cracking]
[snarls]
It has a dog!
Alex! Come on!
Hey, wait! Wait, wait!
How big was it?
Was it, like, puppy-size?
'Cause maybe it just wants to cuddle.
[snarling]
- Hell, no! We have to go!
- [Alex yelling]
[Gabriel whispering] Alex, come here.
Dariush. Come here.
Dariush. Come here.
- [door bangs]
- Oh!
[creature growling]
[sniffing]
Thank you, Baby Jesus!
[clattering]
[growls]
[screaming]
[panting] No!
- [steam whooshing]
- [creature screeching]
Help me, help me! I'm coming!
[snarling]
[all screaming]
[locks]
[loud banging]
Go, go.
[low growling]
[Alex] Go, go. Go, go. Run! Run!
Shit! Let's go!
Come on! Let's go!
[screaming]
[wood smashing]
[creature roaring]
- What are you doing?
- Come on.
[Dariush panting]
Where is it?
[exhales quietly]
[growling]
- [Dariush whispering] Oh, shit!
- [wood cracking]
[snorts]
[whimpers]
- [Dariush mumbling]
- Shh.
[whispering] Stop talking. Shh.
Stop...
- [creature snarling]
- [wood cracking]
- He's coming, we have to hide. Please.
- Shh! Shh!
[low growling]
[whispering] He's coming, he's coming.
That's fecal suicide! No!
Crap!
Ugh! Not sanitary.
[coughing] We gotta go. Come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why are we leaving?
This an alien-proof hiding spot.
- We have to help them.
- And die too?
- No, thanks!
- Just go! Go!
No, come on.
No, wait, look... Gabriel!
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
[grunting]
[metal rattling]
Now what?
Aw, hell, naw, man!
[screeches]
Oh, shit! Come on!
Go, go, go. Go!
[door banging]
Shh.
[door opens]
[moaning]
What the hell?
[whispering] It's Conrad. Conrad. [gags]
[gagging]
[whispering] Conrad. Conrad!
Hey. Hey, Conrad.
[wood smashing]
- [creature snarling]
- [Conrad screaming]
- [bones cracking]
- [screaming stops]
Dariush.
Go, go!
Speed your ass up, Gabriel!
It's Cujo.
Go!
[Gabriel] Oh, shit, get the door!
- What?
- Get the door! Get the door!
[screams] It's coming.
- Come on, get in here!
- I forgot the door!
- [bangs]
- [Dariush screams]
[breathing heavily]
Where is it? You see it?
- No.
- I don't see it!
- Oh!
- No!
[Alex] Guys, come on. Let's go!
- Leave! The dog is out there!
- Leave!
[Alex yelling] We can't hear you!
- Go away! The dog's out there.
- Go!
[growling]
We gotta let 'em in, we gotta let 'em in!
No. What are you doing? "Let them in." No!
Zhenzhen? Zhenzhen.
[Dariush] Leave it alone!
- Come on!
- Leave the buttons alone. Stop it!
[roars]
- You wanna die?
- [lever clicks]
[screeching]
Oh, shoot!
Alex, you're welcome.
I put the dog on fire for you guys!
And Gabriel was selfish
and he didn't help at all.
What button do I pressto open
this window? Help me!
Go.
[Gabriel grunting]
I think we got it.
[sizzling]
[loud snarling]
At what point do we trip Zhenzhen
and keep running?
[all screaming]
[roars]
[yelling]
[choking]
[rapid gunfire]
[jet engine roars]
[panting]
[Dariush wheezes]
I didn't sign up for this shit, man.
[Gabriel] This can't be real.
What about this isn't real?
He just sneeze-jizzed all over us!
Just shut up, I can't think
with your constant bitching.
Hey, I'm allowed to bitch, all right?
That thing had its tongue in my mouth.
How do you know it was its tongue?
We don't know their anatomy.
What are you saying?
Honestly, it's plausible that
sophisticated creatures,
like alien males, have cranial genitalia.
It had its dick in my mouth?
Yeah.
Uh-uh.
Guys, we need to stay calm, okay?
We need to stay calm.
Calm? [scoffs]
I just probably swallowed
a load of alien babies
that are gonna turn into puppies
and leap out of my chest.
I need to find my mom,
she's gonna know what to do.
If she's alive.
Hey, don't say that.
Chances are our parents are gone,
all right!
Hey, what did I say about
touching that kid?
What are you gonna do?
Gonna sucker punch me again?
Go for it,
'cause I chop your ass in the neck,
and then I'll chop you in the head
- and finish you with a rear-naked choke.
- Do you ever shut up?
I mean, between my fist
and that alien's dick,
your mouth should be worn out by now.
[screaming]
Why are you hitting me?
What we do in life...
echoes in eternity.
What the fuck?
[Zhenzhen] Hold the line!
Stay with me.
If you find yourself alone,
riding in green fields
with the sun on your face,
do not be troubled.
For you are in Elysium,
and you're already dead.
Did she just quote Gladiator?
Since when did she speak English?
Since when does she speak?
- May I ask where we're going?
- My jaw hurts...
The astronaut said that this key
can stop the aliens
and we need to take it to TRL.
JPL.
- A NASA facility.
- [Dariush] Tastes like truffle butter.
In the foothills of Pasadena.
I went there once for a robotics contest
with my dad.
- Do you know how to get there?
- Without GPS?
No, probably not.
It's over 70 miles away from here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
Wait, you wanna head 70 miles
into the city?
The alert said stay out
of metropolitan areas,
not head straight into them.
We don't have to take it all the way
to Pasadena.
Let's just get this key down the mountain
and take it to adults.
Tell them to take it to JPL.
[sighing] Oh, my gosh.
Guys.
There's a sheriff's station down a bit,
we could get it to a cop.
That's a great idea, Gabriel.
Now, let's get some bikes
and kick some ass.
[Dariush] Damn, girl,
your English is good.
They gave us the code at registration,
it's, um...
six-six-nine.
Come on, man.
[locks turning]
[Dariush] Hurry up, dude. Come on.
It's six-six-nine.
[Gabriel] Six... nine...
Dude, what are you talking about?
I said six-six-nine.
Come on, man. Dude, hurry up!
Just put it in there. What are you, dumb?
I'm not dumb.
Here, Gabriel. Let me help you.
I want this one,
it's got a 'Wakanda Forever' sticker.
Hey... what's wrong?
I can't go with you.
Why not?
I can't ride a bike.
I never learned.
It's okay.
You guys can go without me.
- [Dariush] Cool, we out!
- [Gabriel] No.
We got back down to your camp
and everyone left you,
how did that make you feel?
All right, you get on one side of Alex
and you get on the other,
and we'll get him up to speed.
- Gotcha.
- All right?
I won't let you fall.
You guys are...
I...
[sighs]
[Dariush] You got this.
Put your feet back on the pedal.
[Gabriel] The key is to get moving.
The faster you go,
the easier it is to stay balanced.
Are you sure about this?
[Gabriel] No.
[Dariush] Good, you're good.
Now, just keep doing that.
I don't... I don't know if I can do this.
Alex.
You're already doing it.
[all cheering]
[Zhenzhen] You're doing it!
[Alex] Yeah!
[Zhenzhen] You're doing it.
[Dariush] Yeah, boy!
- [Zhenzhen] Whoo!
- [Gabriel] Look at him.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, you guys. I'm doing it!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo!
Yeah!
[vocalizing]
This is so much fun, you...
- [Dariush] Oh!
- [Zhenzhen] Alex?
- Are you okay?
- Yo, is he dead?
[Gabriel] Alex?
- You okay?
- [Dariush] Yo, you good?
[Zhenzhen] You okay?
You okay?
[distant explosions]
Holy sh...
Yeah, like holy...
shit!
[gunfire]
[Zhenzhen] You all right?
[Dariush] Is that where we're going?
[wheezing]
[bullets clattering]
[growling]
[roaring]
[distant explosions]
There!
Man, this place is trashed.
Looks empty.
[Gabriel] Guys, I don't...
Nobody's, uh...
What?
You guys go ahead. I'll just
stay back and watch our bikes.
What?
Oh, yeah, because the aliens
wanna jack our mountain bikes.
Yeah, looters could take them.
Yeah, someone should stay and watch.
Whatever, man.
[Alex] Hello? Officers?
[Dariush] Shh! What if people are in here?
[Alex] What do you mean, "shh"?
[Dariush]
If I see a clown on a tricycle, I'm out.
- [Alex] Yes, we should go back.
- No!
We always move forward.
Come on.
Okay, offices.
[Dariush] What? It's a warning.
"Nuclear weapons authorized
for Los Angeles Basin.
Europe destroyed.
Asia... decimated."
[Alex] Hello?
Hello?
"Primary directive:
locate alien power source."
What?
Anybody?
[man] Hey.
[gasps]
Oh, hey. Don't be scared.
[grunts] Come on.
Come on.
Hey.
What's your name?
Alex.
My name's Lou.
See those keys right there?
Can you get 'em for me?
Alex, you're not gonna believe what
I just saw, man. It can't get any worse.
Oh, shit! What...
- [whispers] He wants me to let him go.
- [Dariush] What, you... Oh, no.
No, that's not going to happen.
Not today. Not at all.
What's going on?
Oh, what? They just evacuate
and leave me in here?
- So whatever it is up there can kill me?
- They're aliens.
And I suggest you keep your mouth
closed when they get up in here, 'cause...
When it...
What'd you do?
I was trying to help.
Yeah, it got a little crazy out there.
Look, Alex, you can stay here
and flirt with Buffalo Bill all day long.
All right?But let's get rid of that
astro-key so someone can stop this thing.
So that key's gonna stop this thing?
[scoffs gently]
Come on, man.
Dariush, it shouldn't be our job
to decide who lives and who dies.
Yeah. But right now it is, Alex.
The police obviously put him
in here for a reason.
All right, and I say...
we respect their decision,
and I'm black!
And he's probably a diddler.
No one deserves to be left in a cage.
Yeah, unless you're a murderer!
I say we let him go.
What do you say, Alex?
You're the final vote.
Okay. Look, I got a boy at home.
And if you leave me in here...
I'm gonna die.
No boy deserves to lose
his dad like that, right?
I mean...
you ready to live with that?
Do you promise not to hurt us?
Yeah, I promise not to hurt you, man.
Wait until we leave.
Then you can go.
[Zhenzhen] How is your watch still working
after the pulse?
It's not electronic, it's mechanical.
- Yo, he's doing good, right?
- Oh.
[Dariush] Yo. Watch out!
It was my dad's.
- He, uh...
- [Zhenzhen] Gave it to you?
- Yeah, he gave it to me.
- [Dariush] Yo!
You got this, Alex. You doing good, man!
Whoa!
- Hey! Hey!
- [kids yelling]
- Help!
- Stop!
- Hey!
- Stop!
Hey!
[soldier] Stay where you are.
Do not move!
[Alex] Same side. Same side. Same side!
Kids! Kids!
You should've evacuated hours ago.
We're at war.
Sir, we were in the mountains
when the attacks started.
Can you tell us what's going on?
How big is the attack?
Did it reach the nation's finest
Mercedes dealership?
- [Zhenzhen] Dude, how can you...
- My dad owns it.
- I'm the future heir.
- Shut up!
All I can tell you
is you are not safe here.
Everyone on the bus right now.
It'll take you to the evacuation center.
- Let's go!
- [Dariush] Whoa.
- Hey, wait!
- Let's go!
- Knock it off!
- Wait! Hey! Stop!
What?
You need to take this key to Pasadena.
Where'd you get this?
An astronaut from the space station
gave it to us.
- She said we need to take it to JPL.
- What's on that key can stop the aliens.
You need to get that to JPL in Pasadena
to a Dr. Fielding.
We've been receiving Morse code
from a Dr. Fielding at JPL all day.
Finding this key has been
the primary objective. Thanks, kid.
You may have just saved the world.
We'll take it from here.
Okay, we need to go. Move out. Now!
- Yeah.
- Yeah! We did it! Yo, we did...
Yo, I am so happy I told y'all
to go down the hill.
Great job, guys, you did it.
[Dariush]
Yeah, we did it. Now move your ass.
Let's go!
- Yo.
- [Zhenzhen] We did it.
[Dariush] Zhenzhen, we did it.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
[Dariush sighs]
Look!
There they go.
- [guns blasting]
- [explosion]
[man screaming]
[glass shattering]
[all screaming]
[Alex] Oh, my... Shit!
[Gabriel] Alex, are you okay?
Alex!
[man] Get out of here.
- Go!
- [Gabriel] Which door is blocked?
[soldier] Take cover!
Go.
Come on!
- Let's go!
- [man] Move!
[Dariush] Let's go.
We gotta get out of here, man!
[man] Get out of here.
[Dariush] Kick it!
- Go! Go, go, go!
- [rapid gunfire]
[woman] Let's go, out!
[Dariush] Go! Oh, shit!
Go the other way.
Watch out for the dogs!
- [gunshots]
- [roaring]
[Alex] Come on!
[Dariush] Go! Go! Go!
Keep your head down, man!
Holy shit! Oh, no!
- Pick this up with me.
- What are you doing?
- Pick it up with me.
- You gotta get out of here.
- We're gonna get you out!
- [captain] Stop, you gotta go.
I can't move it by myself!
- [explosion]
- [captain] You have to go.
[radio beeping Morse code]
[Dariush]
Yo, Zhenzhen, get the radio.
Come on, we can't leave you.
Stop. Stop.
It's okay.
It's on you now. Okay?
You have to let me go.
- [Alex] No, no, I... I can't!
- Shh.
- No!
- Stop!
Take this key. Here, take it.
Promise me.
Promise me...
you will not let anything stop you.
Okay?
Okay, now go. Go!
Now! Move!
Come on!
[heavy gunfire]
[distant gunfire]
[Dariush panting]
Oh, shit!
I told you that was a stupid idea.
You idiots almost got me killed.
I don't even wanna be at summer camp.
I should be in Cabo taking jelly shots
off someone's ass cheeks.
Slow down.Slow down.
What do you think these things are after?
Food maybe? Resources?
It's possible their planet went dry
and the came to raid ours.
What gives you that idea?
Nothing! It's the most common
invasion movie plot.
Maybe they're here to find mates.
That would explain the erotic rendezvous
with Dariush earlier.
Hey, whoa. No.
We're not gonna do all that, okay?
That was strictly platonic.
Let's just head north, okay?
To the desert.
Get as far away from that thing
as we can get, all right?
- As far away...
- There is no away from those things.
[Alex] Zhenzhen's right.
The only way we're going to survive
is if we get this key to Dr. Fielding.
- It's what that soldier was gonna do.
- He died.
Okay, look, if a bunch of bad-ass marines
can't get that key
40 feet away without getting deep fried,
what makes you think
that we can get it 40 miles?
We have to.
What?
It's on us.
Okay. We're not going anywhere
until we get some food.
Maybe even some sleep if we can.
[Dariush] All right, fine.
What's up with Chico?
- It's my street.
- Great!
Can we go in your house?
That's my house, but...
[sniffles, sighs]
It's not my home.
I haven't been totally honest
with you guys.
I was in the mountains because...
I was in juvie.
And I escaped.
So even if my mom is here...
she's not gonna wanna see me.
[distant gunfire]
Come on, man.
[spacecraft approaching]
[Alex] Go, go, jump left!
- No!
- What the hell was that?
- Run!
- Where do we go? Follow me.
[Dariush] Oh, damn!
Man, we need to get my man Jacobi
up in here.
[Gabriel] It's looters.
[Dariush] All right,
let's find something to eat.
Man, I need a T-bone steak,
some cheese eggs and Welch's grape.
I shouldn't have hit you.
It was my fault.
I don't know. I'm good, bro. I mean...
it doesn't hurt as much
as seeing all this gunk on my new J's.
How do you care about sneakers
in a time like this?
You know what? You guys are lucky.
You don't have friends.
It's hard out here for a pimp,
you know?
Gotta keep up with the flyest shit,
you know, the dopest kicks.
Tightest whip. Baddest chick.
And my friends, they're like bears.
Soon as they smell weakness,
they're just coming straight at your neck.
That's why I keep this on my neck.
Diamonds.
Does Dariush mean "douchebag" in Farsi?
What's Farsi?
It's the language your mom was screaming
- when you were coming out of her ass.
- [giggles]
Hey, don't talk about my mom's ass.
All right.
You wish you were there.
No offense, dude,
those don't sound like friends.
Yeah...
[spacecraft approaching]
[spacecraft departing]
Hey, how did you even end up in jail?
My dad left when... when I was about ten.
You know, I got a job as a bag boy,
at a grocery store my mom worked at.
To, you know... help her with money.
One time she steps away,
I took over the cash register.
I was helping a customer,
and, uh, he started to accuse me
of stealing from him.
I guess I gave him the wrong change.
I get numbers...
like, muddled in my head sometimes,
unless I see them written down.
But he didn't believe me.
And, um...
I just...
I lost it.
So I decked him.
Broke his nose.
Mom got fired and...
they sent me away.
She never came around to visit me once.
You can't choose your family.
But you can always make a new one.
Come on.
A young Yoda up in here?
[laughing]
- Come on, guys.
- Oh, we're taking an old school selfie?
One, two, three.
[clicks, pops]
- Dude, stop playing with the Rubik's cube.
- I can't, okay! I can't!
We can all agree
that she gets her own bed, right?
Well, yeah, obviously.
It's the only gentlemanly thing to do.
It's only right. It sounds like a plan.
One of you can sleep with me.
Hold it. Hold it. Wait, wait!
Did she just say one of us
could sleep with her?
- Maybe we misheard her.
- Okay, look.
I will volunteer my services
for the good of the group,
and because I've had the most experience.
With what? Not getting any?
Hey, it's better than eatingLithuanian
smoothies from your bunk mate in juvie.
- Lithuanian smoothies?
- You don't need to know.
How about we get Alex and Zhenzhen
to sleep together?
- Because he doesn't want to.
- I wouldn't say I don't want to.
- They have a connection!
- We do?
So don't be a cock-block.
Fine, fine. All right. Okay, cool.
I won't block your cock.
Be free.
Thanks.
It's no problem.
Ah, crap! I forgot my sleep apnea mask.
If I snore, I'm sorry.
You have sleep apnea?
How old are you?
It's non-age-discriminate, Gabriel!
Just move over.
[clicking]
I'm glad it was you.
[Dariush snoring]
- [loud banging]
- [cat squealing]
[all panting]
[clears throat]
Shh! Shh! Shh! [whispers] Aliens...
Yeah.
We gotta go.
You see anything?
No, come on.
[shushing]
[Alex] Guys, we should turn back.
We can't now, man. We're already here.
Dude, I'm telling you,
this is how people die in movies.
Guys. You see anything?
You need some Frebreze on these sheets.
Ah! Oh! Oh!
[gun cocks]
- Oh, shit!
- [all gasping]
[man] Not another step.
- Move!
- [Dariush] I'm backing up.
The hell you doing out here?
We're in the middle of an alien invasion.
Oh, yeah, I mean, and you're the ones
with the Purge masks.
- Wrong genre, bro.
- [man] We got a comedian here.
No!
There are aliens out here, okay?
We're not the enemy.
You guys have something we're looking for.
Dignity?
What'd you say?
[man 2] Everybody calm down.
Look what we found.
Lou!
- Oh my God, Lou!
- Thank you, Baby Jesus.
- Thank you, God!
- Lou.
- Thank God!
- Hold on, you know this guy?
[man] No. No, no, no, no.
Do we know him? Hell, yeah we know him!
- Yes! Yes!
- We go way back. Lou, my negro!
Lou, you know me. We're like this.
I wanted to free... Alex was the one
who was like, "Leave him in there,"
and I was like,
"Dude, let's free him. He's a human."
Do you mind, if you could just tell
these handsome men, the ones...
pointing the shotguns at our face,
to, you know...
not... not do that?
- Please?
- Please.
Please.
I don't think anyone needs
to get hurt tonight.
But Alex...
if you'd be so kind as to give me that?
This?
Yeah.
This is our only shot
at defeating the aliens.
Yeah.
That means someone
will pay a lot of money for it.
Give me...
the key.
I can't.
I made a promise.
Alex, give him the key. Enough. Okay?
[Lou] You can give me the key
and just walk away.
Or I can cut your head off
and take the key from the stump.
I trusted you.
The cemeteries are full of people
who trusted me.
Oh, shit!
[man screaming]
[roaring]
- [man screaming]
- Oh, sh...
- Hurry!
- [Alex] Run!
Come on!
[creature snarling]
[shotgun blast]
[shouting]
[bones crunching]
[Lou screaming]
[boys grunting]
- Gabriel!
- Gabriel!
Gabriel, what are you doing?
Zhenzhen, throw me the glow sticks.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- Gabriel, hurry up!
- Over here.
- Throw 'em! Come on!
- [Alex] Come here.
[sticks snapping]
[Alex] What are you doing?
Hey!
[growling]
Come here!
- Gabriel, hurry up!
- Come here, you're gonna die!
- Get over here!
- Hurry!
[Dariush] Hurry up, Gabriel!Come on!
Get him, get him, get him!
- Come on! Come get me!
- Gabriel!
Gabriel!
[roaring]
- Hurry up!
- Gabriel, come on!
Go! Hurry!
Gabriel, come on!
[Dariush] Get out, Gabriel!
Oh, shit, it worked, Gabriel!
- Oh, my God.
- It worked.
Go! Go!
[guns blasting]
That was the same alien from camp.
I thought we killed that thing.
If it came down with the capsule,
that means it survived the heat
of atmospheric re-entry
Which means it must have tremendous
cellular regeneration abilities.
English, Alex, please.
It's like Wolverine.
Oh.
Why the hell is the following us?
It's pissed about its dog.
You ever watch Marley and Me
or Beethoven?
It's a primal bond.
It's out for revenge. Ask John Wick.
You're putting human motives
on an alien lifeform.
No, it probably just had orders
to kill Collins
and anyone she came in contact with.
We're just loose ends to this thing.
- No, you know what, dog theory was better.
- Who gives a frog's fat ass why?
This ain't Comic-Con, bitches.
All that matters is that it wants us dead.
And we can't kill it.
She's right. We should just keep moving.
I'm done with your ideas.
You were the one who thought
to let Hannibal Lecter out of his cell.
Consider your leadership privileges...
revoked!
Sometimes you do the right thing
and it doesn't work out.
That doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing.
Who the hell told you that?
My dad.
Never knew what it meant until right now.
Look, why is it up to us to save humanity?
What, do you think someone else
should do it? Of course you do.
The kid who's always
had everything done for him.
Maybe Mommy and Daddy
can pay the alien to go away,
buy him a new Mercedes...
Hey! You don't know my family, dude.
That's enough!
That's enough!
You don't know me. My family has nothing!
Oh, yeah? Except for a car dealership
and a mansion and a yacht!
No, the dealership is gone.
It's all gone.
That's why they sent me to camp, man.
It's...
It's just stuff.
[Dariush] I don't know who I am
without all that stuff.
And... they're taking my dad.
He's going to jail.
I'm... I'm sorry.
[radio beeping Morse code]
Ah, here we go.
I'm sorry I head-butted you.
You should clean that up.
Yeah, that's fine.
Sorry for... punching you.
It's Dr. Fielding.
He's trying to contact us. We gotta go.
Maybe we should try to find some clothes?
No clue what that thing can track,
it might be our scent.
Then let's go.
[splashing]
[Dariush] I hope they got
a McDonald's in here,
I need me, like, two McDoubles
and an ice cream.
[Zhenzhen] Hurry, come on.
Gotta get inside.
[Dariush] Come on.
I know Gucci's downstairs, let's go.
Yo. You guys...
How do you think an alien
would do against this?
[imitates lightsaber]
The circle is complete!
I am your master now.
[imitates lightsaber]
No, the line is,
"The circle is now complete.
Now I am the master."
Okay, we really need to get you a girl.
Gotta cut this shit out. You know
too much about this Star Trek shit.
- Guys!
- It's Star Wars.
It's time for a change.
Sorry.
It's okay.
That pamphlet must mean a lot to you.
For you to bring it all the way here.
I didn't bring it here.
It brought me.
Well then, why did you leave home?
Let's just say dad wanted a boy.
[sighs]
Zhenzhen, what are you doing?
That's what brought you here.
Yeah, but...
this is why I'm staying.
Let it go, man.
Come on.
["Hot in Herre" playing]
With a little bit of, uh uh
And a little bit of, uh uh
Just a little bit of
Just a little bit of
Iwas like, "Good gracious
Ass is bodacious"
Flirtatious, tryin' to show patience
It's gettin' hot in herre
So hot
So take off all your clothes
I am, gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off
- Guys! Guys!
- What?
- Look.
- What's up?
Yeah, Mannequin Skywalker.
- Alex...
- Man, if you don't...
No, you know what? That was...
That shit was funny.
That was pretty good. Give me some.
Aw, come on, man.
Don't tell me we gotta teach you again?
1973 Ford Mustang Mach One.
My dad had one just like it.
That Mustang doesn't have any computers
or anything that can be fried
by the pulse, right?
Right.
- [Zhenzhen] Come on!
- [Alex] I'm driving!
- [Dariush] Let's go!
- [Gabriel] Shotgun.
Finally got some real wheels
up in here, let's go!
- Yes!
- Let's ride.
Oh, my God.
- Whoo!
- I'm getting in the back.
- [Gabriel] Let's roll!
- Yeah!
- [Dariush] Let's go.
- [Gabriel] Hit it.
[Dariush] Start this shit up!
Oh.
- I can't drive a stick.
- [Dariush] What?
- [Gabriel] Oh.
- [engine starting]
["Straight Outta Compton" playing]
[tires squealing]
Straight outta Compton
Crazy mother... named Ice Cube
From the gang called...
With Attitudes
When I'm called off,
I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger
And bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya... with me
The police are gonna
Have to come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin' out
For the punk mother...
That's showing out
Start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix'emand cook 'em
In a pot like gumbo
- Hold on tight.
- [tires squealing]
With a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin' when I'm down for...
[metal crunching]
[snarling]
[all screaming]
Ah!
Oh, shit!
- [glass shattering]
- [screaming]
[roaring]
[tires screeching]
It's on top of the roof!
Hang on!
Oh, shit, where's it at?
[sighs]
- It's gone. Gimme some.
- [Zhenzhen] Whoo!
- Oh, it's gone!
- Yes!
[roaring]
Oh! Oh!
[screaming]
[all screaming]
- Jump!
- What?
- Are you crazy?
- [grunts]
Jump! Jump!
Jump!
Way to go, Zhenzhen!
- [groaning]
- [Gabriel] Is everyone okay?
[Alex] Yeah, I think so.
Guys. Guys! I don't have the key.
- What?
- It's probably in the car.
- We need that key.
- Ah!
[Dariush] Damn it.
- Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
- Where you going?
To get the key.
No way we can kill that thing,
it's just gonna reanimate.
Yeah, but...
but we need that key to finish this off.
- You're gonna die if you go down there.
- She's right, we'll go together.
So all four of us can die?
I thought you were supposed
to be the smart one.
It's my turn.
Look, man...
Did you know I was named
after the ancient King of Persia, Darius?
Well, do you know who Darius's
greatest rival ever was,
the only one to ever defeat him?
- Alexander the Great.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I knew you'd know that.
Well, look...
this time...
Darius gets to be the hero.
Good luck.
[creature wheezing weakly]
[grunts]
Come on!
[grunting]
- [music playing loudly on stereo]
- Oh, shit.
[music stops]
Oh, I got it. I got it!
I got it.
- Yeah! Yes!
- Yes.
[panting] I got the key.
[all] Hey, behind you!
What?
I got it.
- No!
- Dariush, behind you!
- Turn around!
- No!
[roaring]
[groaning]
We gotta go.
[Gabriel] Come on, Dariush!
[Alex] Go, run!
- [Zhenzhen] Look out!
- [Gabriel] We gotta go!
Come on. You okay?
- That cut looks terrible.
- I'm okay, I'm all right.
Let's just get this key to JPL.
That was really cool driving back there.
I couldn't have done that.
You don't give yourself enough credit.
I'm told girls find bravery attractive.
I've never really had much of that.
[in Mandarin] My whole life
I have been searching for love.
When I saw you on the bridge...
I knew you were the one.
If you feel the same way...
kiss me now
and we will be together forever.
[in English]
I'm sorry, my Mandarin is rudimentary.
Hmm?
- What did you say?
- [chuckles softly]
- [Zhenzhen sighs]
- What did you say?
Zhenzhen, I don't actually speak Mandarin.
- What did you say?
- Yo, look! Look, JPL.
- What?
- Whoa!
- Let's go.
- Come on!
- Man, this place got hit hard.
- [Dariush] The building is destroyed.
Nobody can survive that.
- [radio beeping Morse code]
- [Zhenzhen] He's still here.
Dr. Fielding's still here!
[Alex] This way!
[Dariush] If we get out of this alive,
NASA's paying for my therapy.
Oh, wow.
They're testing plasma rockets.
Those things burn hotter
than the surface of the Sun.
Look, all we gotta do
is get this key to Dr. Fielding
then you can look at all
the nerd porn you want.
Dr. Fielding!Dr. Fielding!
We have the key, sir.
Dr. Fielding, we have the key.
- Dr. Fielding.
- Dr. Fielding.
- Dr. Fielding!
- We have the key, sir!
Over here.
Guys!
- Go, go, go!
- Dr. Fielding.
He's dead, guys.
[Alex] But how?
[Morse code beeping]
- [dripping]
- [beeping]
[radio beeping Morse code]
Shoot!
We've failed.
It's over.
I mean...
let's be honest, guys.
Who do we think we are?
Nerd.
Criminal.
Orphan.
A joke.
I guess I'll...
go try and find my parents.
Me too.
[sighs]
What are you doing?
Look.
They didn't even get to open this.
Well, since we're all gonna die together,
may I propose a toast?
Oh, crap. This is from 1969!
I mean, could at least get some fresh wine
if this is gonna be my first time, right?
[bottle clattering]
[button clicks]
[general] Citadel, this is Crystal Palace.
- What? What was that?
- Go! What the heck?
Citadel...
- [Alex] Hello?
- ...this is Crystal Palace. Do you copy?
We're here, over!
Citadel, identify yourself.
What is your name, ma'am? Over!
I'm Alex.
How old are you?
I'm thirteen.
And if you don't mind me asking,
who are we talking to?
This is General George Khoury
at Cheyenne Mountain.
Is anyone alive at JPL?
Is Dr. Fielding there?
[Alex] There are four of us,
everyone else is dead.
The astronaut sent us, before she died.
You were sent by Major Collins?
Yeah, that's why we came.
She gave us the key
and said something about Excalibur.
What, you have the crypto-key
in your possession?
That's right. What do we need to do
to get it to work?
[Khoury sighs]
Nothing.
You need to get out of there.
I'm... I'm sorry. It's over.
There's nothing you kids
can do against this thing.
Now get out of there immediately,
we're sending two units to pick you...
No.
- What didyou say, son?
- I said no.
I made a promise
I wouldn't let anything stop me.
So I'm gonna keep trying
and it will be a lot easier
if you would help me.
We didn't come all this way
to give up now.
We're done being told
what we can and can't do.
We made it across
half of southern California.
- Past aliens and soldiers.
- [Dariush] A diddler!
Don't forget about the diddler.
All the way here.
Nobody helped us get here.
All we had was each other.
So you're gonna listen to me,
because we're not kids anymore,
and we're the best chance you've got.
I'm going to ask you
one more time, General.
What do we need to do
to get this thing working?
All right, someone needs to go down
to the basement and fire up
the emergency generators.
Start them in sequence,
exactly four seconds apart.
Send your fastest, strongest...
I'll do it!
I'm sorry, that sounded like a young girl.
Oh, yeah!
Aliens don't stand a chance against her.
All right!
You need to climb through the vent.
The vault door won't open
until the power is back on.
- Got it.
- Look...
You're not safe at JPL.
- Did you hear the four seconds part?
- Yeah.
If this doesn't work,
I need to make sure...
[Alex] You're gonna need to time it.
Takecare of it.
And yourself.
Your father would be proud.
[kisses]
What are we doing? What is Excalibur?
Excalibur was a Cold War defense project.
It was meant to shoot down
Russian missiles.
Yeah, using fusion pumped X-ray lasers,
I read about that.
Never mind him. He knows everything.
Keep going.
The key that Major Collins gave you
contains the coordinates
of the alien mothership in high orbit.
We can destroy the mothership.
You're our last hope.
Okay, what else do we need to do
to get this shit started?
You need to realign the satellite dish
on the roof,
then get a working computer
and load the coordinates
Major Collins gave you.
Then activate Excalibur.
- All right, I'll go to the roof.
- No, Gabriel.
You guys load the programs.
I'm gonna go to the roof.
Plus you're hurt
and he's the only one keeping you alive.
What are you talking about?
You're afraid of heights!
I'm scared of everything.
It's my turn.
Tell Zhenzhen,
I'm gonna want my watch back.
And if I die...
tell her I love her.
Actually, wait... don't tell her
I love her, just tell her I was into her.
I don't want to freak her out
with the "L" word.
Just go!
[grunting]
[roars]
[Zhenzhen yelling]
[vent clanging]
Ow!
[gasps]
[quietly] Switches...
Oh, my God. That's tall.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
[electricity crackling]
Switches.
Four, three,
two, one.
Four, three, two, one.
Four, three, two, one.
[systems powering up]
Shit, she actually got the power back on.
Yes! Okay.
Good. Do you see the monitors
at the back of the room?
Are the control stations working?
Yeah. Yeah!
- The computers are working.
- Excellent.
- It's on.
- Now insert the crypto-key.
- [beeping]
- I got it. I got it!
Okay, did your friend move the dish yet?
Uh...
No, I see him but he hasn't moved it yet.
Then you have to wait
before you launch Excalibur.
[wind whistling]
[quietly] Don't look down.
You can do this.
[Gabriel] Shit!
- Alex!
- Alex!
- Alex!
- Activate the PA system.
- Alex!
- Alex!
- [Dariush on PA] Alex!
- God?
Behind you, look down!
- [Dariush] Go, hurry, Alex!
- Oh, God!
[grunting]
[snarling]
[grunting]
[beeping]
- Oh, he did it!
- God!
[hissing]
[yells]
[screaming]
[groans]
Yeah!
Ah! [screams]
[door unlocks]
No...
[screaming] No!
- [roaring]
- No! [screams]
[Khoury] Son, Excalibur needs two people
to launch it.
Shit, he passed out.
Hey, get up! Get up!
One of your other friends
is going to have to help you.
Where are they?
I don't know.
[loud munching sounds]
Alex! Zhenzhen!
[over PA] Dariush is in bad shape
and I can't do this alone.
[Zhenzhen screams]
[snarling]
[screaming]
[sighs]
Get the two launch keys
from the safe locker.
Let me know when you're there
and I'll give you the code.
Oh, no!
F... F...
Okay.
Punch in...
nine, six, three, two, two,
one, zero, three.
Tell me when you've got it open.
Uh...
- [buzzes]
- No.
I said, nine, six, three, two, two,
one, zero, three.
Fuck!
The code, nine, six, three, one...
[voice echoing and distorted]
- No, no, no!
- [Dariush] Gabriel.
I wrote it down for you.
I got you, brother.
- Oh, my God. Thanks. Thank you.
- [Dariush weakly] Hurry up.
Okay. Okay. Three, two, two, one...
- [beeps]
- Okay! [grunts]
I got 'em!I got 'em!
It is imperative that they are inserted
at the same time.
Oh, shit, he passed out again.
Dariush. Hey.
We are running out of time, son!
Hey, wake up. Wake up!
We are running out of time, son!
I can't. I can't!
- Gabriel!
- Zhenzhen!
Come on, we gotta do this!
- What do we do?
- Right here, okay.
- Right here?
- Yeah.
On my mark, okay?
Three, two, one.
[crashing]
[roaring]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[clunking]
Come at me, bitch!
Come get me, mother...
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- You can't kill that with a flare gun.
- No. But I know what can.
Launch Excalibur, then meet me outside.
Ah!
- Oh, shit, we gotta go! Come on.
- Come on. Go!
- We gotta try this again. Ready?
- Try this again.
We gotta put an end to this, okay?
Three, two, one, go!
[machine powering up]
[beeping]
[Gabriel] Oh, yes!
- We did it!
- Yes!
Now, get out of there immediately.
We're sending two units to pick you up.
The building is not safe.
Yeah!
Yes!
[alarm blaring]
Come on.
Come get me!
[panting]
- [automated voice on PA] Warning!
- [buzzer sounding]
Warning!
Warning!
[engine whirring]
[singing softly]
Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
- To keep me from getting to you...
- [heart beating rapidly]
[low growl]
- [yells]
- [flare gun fires]
[loud whooshing]
[explosion]
[all groaning]
No, hey. It's too dangerous.
But I have to get him.
- It's too late.
- Alex!
No! No!
Alex, come on!
- Come on!
- I can't.
- Alex, you can.
- No, I can't!
- Alex!
- No, Dad!
Go!
[wailing]
- You have to let go.
- I'm not gonna leave.
- Alex, you have to let go.
- No, stop!
[crying] No!
- [Dad] Don't be afraid.
- No!
[Dad] Alex, don't be afraid.
It's okay.
You can do this.
[explosion]
Alex. Please. Please.
[building rubble crumbling]
Alex.
[all] Alex!
[Dariush] Oh, my God!
Yeah!
Alex!
Oh, my God!
[all clamoring excitedly]
Oh, my God!
Dude, I missed you so much.
[laughing]
Did we do it?Did we do it?
[loud booming]
[Alex] Whoa!
[Gabriel] Guys, we did it.
Hell, yeah, we did it.
- Whoo! Yeah.
- Oh, man!
Oh, my God.
Yeah!
I guess you're pretty brave after all.
You really think so?
[triumphant music playing]
[sonic booms]
[all cheering]
[jet engines roaring]
[Dariush] Oh, yeah, I'm definitely
coming back next year, for sure.
[Alex] We saved the world!
[dramatic upbeat music playing]
[bear roaring]
[ominous music]
[general on screen]
I repeat, we do not see the ship.
I do.
It's right outside the window.
Cortez is dead.
[general] Send the coordinates
to Dr. Fielding at JPL.
Ken!
I don't read the coordinates.
I need them here at JPL.
[general] Major Collins, go to manual.
Put the coordinates on the crypto-key
and get it down to Dr. Fielding
at JPL yourself.
[alarm beeping]
- Come on! Come on!
- [metal rattling]
Major Collins, get out of there.
- [gasping]
- [ship alarm blaring]
[creature snarling]
[Collins screaming]
[Mary] Where's your retainer?
Mom, NASA's testing new boosters
using solid rocket fuel.
Those things can incinerate anything.
Anything else we're forgetting?
Sunscreen, good.
You ready, bud?
Just a few more minutes.
Sweetie, you don't need any more time
in that chair.
If you're worried about my posture,
this chair is ergonomic.
Look, my spine just perfectly aligns.
Alex, honey,
there is a whole world out there
beyond these screens.
There's nothing to worry about.
You're gonna make friends.
[computer chimes]
I have friends.
Come on. Let's go.
Ooh! Only wear designer, esskeetit
Ooh! Hoppin' out the Wraith, esskeetit
- Smashin' on your... esskeetit
- [Dariush laughing]
Runnin' up a check with no limit
Poppin' on, poppin' on, poppin' on
Chill!
Got a new car, got a new...
And I got a new deal
Ooh! Only wear designer, esskeetit
Hoppin' out the Wraith, esskeetit
Smashin' on your... esskeetit
Runnin' up a check with no limit
Poppin' on, poppin' on, poppin' on
Got a new car, got a new...
And I got a new deal
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, baby.
Gonna be a lot
of cute girls up there, Dariush,
knock 'em dead.
Don't be a creep, Dad.
Dariush...
I love you, son.
No matter what.
[Dariush] All right, Jacobi, let's bounce.
[sighs]
What did you say your relationship
was again?
She's my niece.
It's my sister-in-law's.
You can kinda see it in the eyes.
What's your business here?
She's got a spelling bee out in Camarillo.
How many L's in Camarillo?
You're gonna do good in America.
Okay. Let's go. Come on.
You're light. Nope. More.
There you go.
Pleasure doing business with you, kid.
It drips on down in a mist from above
She's just the girl, she's just the girl
The girl you want
Where to?
Rim of the World. Okay.
[horns honking]
You know, I went to camp
when I was a little girl.
You've said.
- That's where I met Flora Beetworth.
- [sirens blaring]
I mean, I met a lot of cool people,
but she was the coolest.
[man] It's okay, Alex.
[Mary] Are sure you wanna take
your dad's watch?
Mom, I'll take care of the watch.
Come on, honey.
Come on, you can do this.
It's going to be great.
Look how beautiful it is.
Rim of the World.
This is gonna be so awesome.
Look at all the other kids your age.
Alex! I am your leader, Logan.
Now, if you look around,
you'll see a lot of interesting things.
First interesting thing we have
is Carl right here.
He is the black man on the campus.
We gonna teach you
about black culture, pay attention,
gonna only do this once. Ready?
[grunting]
Snap!
That's called the black man handshake.
[laughing]
[Logan] Okay, don't wanna see you
doing that. Only for black people.
Oh, hey, use retail method
when folding my clothes, Jacobi.
Okay? I don't wanna see any creases.
- [Logan] Retail what?
- Retail method.
- What's that?
- What rich people do. You wouldn't know.
[Logan] Don't turn your back,
I'll slap you.
- [Mary] They're just kidding.
- Alex, look, see we got music over here.
- ...trees and the sky...
- [Mary] Music!
[Logan]
Come on, Alex, dance a little bit.
You know how to dance?
[Mary] You always wanted to learn
how to play guitar... and dancing.
Keep playing, I'm dancing.
Keep playing, I'm dancing.
I'm very uncomfortable
These girls are uncomfortable
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies. Cool.
Maybe next time, no originals,
play the people what they want.
Let's go.
[Mary] It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Uh, this, this is Conrad right here, okay.
Conrad, he's a little...
[Mary] Look at these people
you're meeting.
Sheesh, Conrad.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
Welcome to the jungle, ginger nugget.
[Logan] Nope, can't call him that.
Second of all, put your titties away.
What? These titties?
Don't bounce the titties,
I told you to put them away.
Why's your shirt so small?
It can't even connect.
[gasping] You must be Alex!
Welcome to the Rim of the World
Adventure Camp.
Thanks.
Back there is registration,
get checked in, get your cabin number.
And we'll sign you up
for some afternoon activities.
Hey, how are your pipes?
- What?
- Our musical this year
is Fiddler on the Roof!
If I were a rich man
La da da da da...
Wait a second.
I think I just found my Tevye.
You're going to have a heck of a time.
Very exciting!
[in Mandarin]
I offer greetings, my fair princess.
I humbly submit my name, Alex.
She seemed nice.
All right, who's next?
China?
[laughs]
Okay, um...
No, no, no.
Ni hao!
Um...
Welcome... to... camp!
I love...
Jackie Chan.
Do you understand the words
comin' out of my mouth? Okay?
Move along.
Wow. China.
My man, where you been, baby?
You remember the black man hand...
- Nope.
- You said I can't do it.
I was testing you.
Good shit, baby. Good shit. Move along.
[Dariush] You gotta start
wearing the silk.
That's what gets the girls.
You can't wear... Never mind.
Ooh!
Mmm-mm-mm.
Put it in my box.
I'm sorry. What?
Put it in my box.
- Uh...
- Just take it out and put it in my box.
Oh...
You saying in front of a lot of people
right now.
You sure about that?
Can you put
your cell phone in the box,please?
Whoo! Phone!
Yes. Yeah, I thought
you meant something else.
- I was...
- What'd you think I meant?
[chuckling] You don't wanna know
what I thought you were...
- Dariush. Did you...?
- No, no, no, no.
- Dariush.
- I didn't think that, no. I didn't...
- Oh...
- I didn't...
You know what, to be honest with you,
I left my phone at home.
- I don't have my cell phone with me.
- Ah. Okay.
Okay, I better say goodbye to you now
before I embarrass you in public.
You know what that means?
No, Mom!
Ain't no mountain high enough
Mom, you said you wouldn't.
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Okay.
I love you.
Have fun.
[kisses]
[girl whooping]
Hold this.
What's up, tool?
You ready?
This is gonna be fun.
Cool helmet.
[laughing]
[Alex] Don't look down.
Don't look down.
[panting]
All right, Zhenzhen, you are good to go.
Safety first.
Mm-hmm. 'Sup, girl? I'm Dariush.
Is this a layoverbecausewe're making
that connection, you feel me?
[grunts]
- Oh, all right.
- [laughs]
That pickup line was the worst
I've ever heard, man.
I got game. Girls fall when they see me.
Yeah, they fall off the zip line
and almost commit suicide.
No, they fall in love.
- [Logan laughs] Is that right?
- [Dariush] That's right. Like that one?
[Logan] It was cool...
But you should've said it to her, not me.
- [Dariush] Next time.
- Don't use it on me.
Carrot Top's up next, you ready, Alex?
Let's do this, baby. Come on.
Come to the edge.
Look, right over to the edge. There we go.
Come on, come to the edge.
- All you gotta do is breathe.
- I can't. I can't.
Breathe. Look at me. Look at me,
all you gotta do is breathe. Okay?
Close your eyes and when you open them
you'll be on the other side.
- I can't, I can't, I can't!
- The other side of the zip line...
[voice echoing]
You won't die, you won't die!
Okay.
[panting]
[man] Maybe camp's just not for you.
Okay?
[Alex panting]
Hey, hey, stop.
So, you're this summer's chickenshit, huh?
[kids whispering]
[woman on TV] A NASA spokeswoman has said
"The agency's repeated attempts
to contact the International Space Station
are failing."
But stopped short
of revealing possible causes.
When asked if the ISS
and it's three scientists onboard
could be in danger,
the agency held firm
that it is doing everything it can
to restore communication.
Meanwhile, reports
of observed troop movements...
- [Carl] Toy Story was messed up.
- [Logan] How?
Take the third one, for example,
that teenager,
he represents the white folks.
[Logan] Huh?
And Cowboy, Spaceman
and Mr. and Mrs. Potato-people,
they represent the brothers.
- Okay, so let me get this straight.
- Uh-huh.
- We're the toys.
- Preach.
And when the white man leaves the room,
we get to have fun.
We get to shake it up.
But when the white man
comes back in,
we gotta get stiff
and do what they tell us to do.
Now you're on my level.
So it's obviously the ruling class
justification
for the inferior conditions
of the working class.
- My brother!
- [Logan] What about Finding Nemo?
[Carl] Don't say nothing bad
about Finding Nemo.
[man] Okay, Alex!
[Logan] One more question. Why are we
talking like black men from the '80s?
- [Carl] That's what they want us to do.
- Preach, brother.
[Carl] Got us with all these white kids,
- you see any black kids?
- I see one.
[Carl] Dariush? He got enough money,
he damn near white.
[man] Alex.
Alex. Alex!
Alex, come on!
[counselor] All right, keep up.
[girl] I can't feel my legs.
I'm falling behind.
I'm so tired!
Move! Shotgun!
Yep, yep, yep!
Campers in the back.
- What?
- Campers in the back.
Rosa Parks fought for my right
to sit up here, so...
- Really, dude?
- Keep driving.
Rosa ain't fight for shit
for your lil' chunky ass, get in the back.
And don't slam my door,
you little thick ass... Don't slam my door!
- All right. y'all the king is back.
- [man] Come on, Dariush.
- [door slams]
- All right, scoot over, man.
- Move, man. My nuts is hot.
- [Alex] Sorry.
You're making me chafe, scoot over.
Hope y'all not afraid of sharks.
Put y'all seat belt on.
'Cause my license is suspended.
[Dariush]
Wait, your license is suspended?
- Just a little bit.
- [Dariush] What does that mean?
[Logan]
It means let's not get pulled over.
Ah, sorry guys, some kid shit the canoe
while shooting the rapids.
[all] Aw!
[woman] Hey, Cosmo, we're gonna need
the second hose down here.
It'll just be a few more minutes.
What? Ain't nobody scared of a little poo.
Okay, I am deathly afraid of a lot of poo.
It's more poo than canoe in there.
Two kids shit the van on the way here
and we still made it.
And I don't want to be Patient Zero
for a pink eye epidemic.
So just calm down.
Wait a minute, we here for canoeing?
I thought we was motorboating.
[sputtering]
[laughing]
You like that? Gimme some.
Okay, you know what?
That's inappropriate, Dariush.
Although I am flattered.
- [woman] Is that a new necklace?
- [Carl] Is that a new hat?
[woman] It is.
I got it at Paradise Island.
[Alex] Where are you going?
[Carl] It makes your eyes pop.
[Alex] Zhenzhen!
Zhenzhen, do you know where you're going?
I don't think we should wander this far.
Maybe we should head back?
Zhenzhen, do you know how to get back?
Hello?
[cell phone ringing]
Ooh!
What are you doing here?
Just dropped a deuce.
Shit I just took back there,
been touching cloth since last night.
- What?
- Yeah.
Between me and you, I just turned
the evergreens brown up in this joint.
Let me talk to you for a minute.
- No, don't touch me.
- Come on.
- It's exposure therapy.
- That's unsanitary.
I'm gonna help you conquer your fear.
No! What? Wait, no. No!
- Please, no.
- I'm helping you, calm down.
- It's okay, I got you.
- Please, no, no, no, no.
- Look down.
- No, please.
- I'm trying to help you.
- Please, no.
- Yeah, you can.
- No, please!
- Stop. I can't. Let go.
- I'm trying to help.
- Calm down, man.
- No, please!
[boy] Let him go!
I'm trying to...
Let him go.
Move along, mountain hobo.
- We've got no qualms with you.
- No.
- [Alex] Help me. Help me!
- I'm not gonna ask you again.
Huh?
Uh-huh. Come over here.
- [Alex] Oh, ow.
- Big mistake, bro.
- [Dariush grunts]
- Ow!
Ooh. Five years of Krav Maga, bitch.
I'll Gal Gadot you so hard right now.
What's your ground game?
What? What? Unh! [grunts]
[thuds]
[Dariush groans]
You okay?
Thanks.
Yeah.
- Who are you?
- My name is Gabriel.
You live around here?
Yeah. Yeah.
You guys are from the, um,
the camp, right?
- She's not much of a talker.
- You know what? You know...
You know what? That was a lucky punch.
Lucky punch. Yeah, you know,
I haven't acclimated to the altitudes yet.
So my reflexes are kinda...
[pants] sub-par.
[loud booms]
[booming continues]
What the hell was that?
[cell phone alarms beeping]
What does it say?
It's the emergency broadcast system.
"All civilians are to evacuate
metropolitan areas immediately.
Under no circumstances
approach any unknown aircraft."
It's the next 7-Eleven.
We gotta get back to the van.
Anyone know the way?
- [Dariush] Uh...
- I do.
Follow me.
Okay. Whoa! Whoa.
Slow your roll,Dora the Explorer,
all right, this is my clique.
Soldiers, out! [scoffs]
[Gabriel] Let's go.
You guys know if...
You...
[sighs]
[panting]
Everyone's gone!
[Dariush] Assholes!
Probably got the emergency signal
and went back to camp.
- [loud boom]
- Oh!
What the fu...?
Looks like explosions,
in the upper atmosphere.
[Gabriel] Call and have them send
the van to pick you up.
It's dead!
I had 90% two seconds ago.
Piece of shitBoost Mobile.
Mine's dead, too.
[distant whooshing]
[jet engines roaring]
- Whoa! Ah!
- Ah!
Oh my God, it's Independence Day.
It's June, Gabriel!
Oh, wait, maybe North Korea's invaded!
Zhenzhen, call it off!
We just need to wait here until the adults
realize they left us and come back.
Oh, man! What if they never come back?
I'm gonna die here with you losers?
I never even had sex before!
I'ma clear that up. I had sex...
I had sex before, I mean...
I haven't had sex with two girls at once.
That's what I mean.
- I told you I had sex 'cause...
- No.
All right, hey, look. We're not gonna die!
It's probably just a forest fire.
We gotta get going,
bears out here can be crazy.
Whoa! Whoa! Okay, slow your roll.
Did you just say bears?
I don't do so well with bears, man.
I'm not trying to get DiCaprio'd
up in here!
- Look, no one does well with bears.
- Oh, whoa. Uh...
ask Werner Herzog.
Grizzly Man lived with those things
for years, so check that out.
- Did you watch the end of that movie?
- "Did I watch..."
- Yeah, I watched... No, I didn't.
- No, dude. Okay, stop. Gabriel's right.
Black bears are opportunistic carnivores.
We're not gonna survive the wilderness
- through the night.
- Then let's go! Come on!
[all panting]
[Dariush yelling]Hello!
Hello!
Where is everybody?
Is anyone here?
[Dariush] Yo, do you see anybody?
What's that?
"Gone down mountain..."
Oh, they left us!
Oh, sh...
- Not all of them!
- [Dariush] Huh? It's Heavy Metal Conrad.
- [Alex] Conrad!
- [Gabriel] Conrad!
[Dariush] Is he dead?
He's breathing. He must have slept
through the evacuation.
Okay, what kind of asshole
sleeps through an evacuation?
Wake him up.
Uh...
I don't think that... that was milk.
Line's dead.
It's 'cause the power's out.
You know what an EMP is?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's that music white people dance to.
No, that's EDM!
EPM stands for electromagnetic pulse.
A nuclear explosion
in the upper atmosphere can cause one.
And it knocks out most electronics,
over a really big area.
But what does that mean?
It means nothing works.
Not even cars?
Well, you guys have food
and a roof over your head.
You could do a lot worsethan staying
- and waiting this out.
- Wait, waiting what out?
[loud explosion]
Shit! Come on, come on, come on!
Those are F-22 Raptor
air superiority fighters.
[Gabriel] What are those ships
they're fighting?
I've never seen anything like them.
[engines roaring]
[Dariush]
Run! Go, get the hell out here. Go!
- [gunfire]
- Hurry up!
Go, go, go!
- Move out of the way!
- [guns blasting]
[Alex] Come on, come on!
Go!
Oh! Look out!
- Look out, look out!
- Whoa!
[all grunting]
[groaning]
- [gunfire blasting]
- [engines roaring]
What's going on?
What?
[yelling]
[all groaning]
What is that? [coughing]
- [Alex] It's a Dragon capsule.
- [Gabriel] How do you know all this stuff?
There's a reason my mom sent me
to outdoor camp.
[Dariush] Oh, God, that thing's huge.
What the hell?
- No, don't touch it! Dude!
- Oh! Ah!
It's still hot from re-entry.
- Oh, does anyone have any water?
- [Alex] Good idea.
Thanks. thanks.
[gulping] Mmm...
You serious?
- What?
- Gimme it.
What?
[water hissing]
You're not gonna open that thing, are you?
There could be someone inside.
No, leave it be. All right?
- [Alex] What?
- We don't know what this shit is.
- [Alex] Don't touch it.
- [sniffs] Ew.
This is animal kingdom out here, bitches.
All right, survival of the fit...
[clangs]
Hello. Is... is anybody in here?
- [all] Ah!
- [moaning]
[Alex] Guys!
[Dariush] Come on, come on, come on!
I thought space was supposed
to make you weightless?
- [screams]
- [Alex] We're not in space, dude.
[wheezing, groaning]
- Where am I?
- At Rim of the World Adventure Camp.
- Near Big Bear.
- This is a camp?
Yeah, I was disappointed too, but...
Coordinates all wrong.
Pasadena... Dr. Fielding.
I'm sorry, but we're not near Pasadena
right now.
- JPL!
- JPL?
The Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
It's part of NASA.
[Gabriel] Try not to move as much, okay?
- Try not to move as much.
- The key!
The key.
Take it to JPL, Dr. Fielding.
It has everything on it.
Excalibur, everything.
- [creature snarling]
- Go!
[Dariush] What the actual shit?
- You're gonna die if we leave you.
- We'll all die if you don't!
Run!
[screaming]
Was that an alien?
[Gabriel] Run!
Keep going, come on! Let's go!
[snarls]
[growling]
[cracking]
[snarls]
It has a dog!
Alex! Come on!
Hey, wait! Wait, wait!
How big was it?
Was it, like, puppy-size?
'Cause maybe it just wants to cuddle.
[snarling]
- Hell, no! We have to go!
- [Alex yelling]
[Gabriel whispering] Alex, come here.
Dariush. Come here.
Dariush. Come here.
- [door bangs]
- Oh!
[creature growling]
[sniffing]
Thank you, Baby Jesus!
[clattering]
[growls]
[screaming]
[panting] No!
- [steam whooshing]
- [creature screeching]
Help me, help me! I'm coming!
[snarling]
[all screaming]
[locks]
[loud banging]
Go, go.
[low growling]
[Alex] Go, go. Go, go. Run! Run!
Shit! Let's go!
Come on! Let's go!
[screaming]
[wood smashing]
[creature roaring]
- What are you doing?
- Come on.
[Dariush panting]
Where is it?
[exhales quietly]
[growling]
- [Dariush whispering] Oh, shit!
- [wood cracking]
[snorts]
[whimpers]
- [Dariush mumbling]
- Shh.
[whispering] Stop talking. Shh.
Stop...
- [creature snarling]
- [wood cracking]
- He's coming, we have to hide. Please.
- Shh! Shh!
[low growling]
[whispering] He's coming, he's coming.
That's fecal suicide! No!
Crap!
Ugh! Not sanitary.
[coughing] We gotta go. Come on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why are we leaving?
This an alien-proof hiding spot.
- We have to help them.
- And die too?
- No, thanks!
- Just go! Go!
No, come on.
No, wait, look... Gabriel!
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
[grunting]
[metal rattling]
Now what?
Aw, hell, naw, man!
[screeches]
Oh, shit! Come on!
Go, go, go. Go!
[door banging]
Shh.
[door opens]
[moaning]
What the hell?
[whispering] It's Conrad. Conrad. [gags]
[gagging]
[whispering] Conrad. Conrad!
Hey. Hey, Conrad.
[wood smashing]
- [creature snarling]
- [Conrad screaming]
- [bones cracking]
- [screaming stops]
Dariush.
Go, go!
Speed your ass up, Gabriel!
It's Cujo.
Go!
[Gabriel] Oh, shit, get the door!
- What?
- Get the door! Get the door!
[screams] It's coming.
- Come on, get in here!
- I forgot the door!
- [bangs]
- [Dariush screams]
[breathing heavily]
Where is it? You see it?
- No.
- I don't see it!
- Oh!
- No!
[Alex] Guys, come on. Let's go!
- Leave! The dog is out there!
- Leave!
[Alex yelling] We can't hear you!
- Go away! The dog's out there.
- Go!
[growling]
We gotta let 'em in, we gotta let 'em in!
No. What are you doing? "Let them in." No!
Zhenzhen? Zhenzhen.
[Dariush] Leave it alone!
- Come on!
- Leave the buttons alone. Stop it!
[roars]
- You wanna die?
- [lever clicks]
[screeching]
Oh, shoot!
Alex, you're welcome.
I put the dog on fire for you guys!
And Gabriel was selfish
and he didn't help at all.
What button do I pressto open
this window? Help me!
Go.
[Gabriel grunting]
I think we got it.
[sizzling]
[loud snarling]
At what point do we trip Zhenzhen
and keep running?
[all screaming]
[roars]
[yelling]
[choking]
[rapid gunfire]
[jet engine roars]
[panting]
[Dariush wheezes]
I didn't sign up for this shit, man.
[Gabriel] This can't be real.
What about this isn't real?
He just sneeze-jizzed all over us!
Just shut up, I can't think
with your constant bitching.
Hey, I'm allowed to bitch, all right?
That thing had its tongue in my mouth.
How do you know it was its tongue?
We don't know their anatomy.
What are you saying?
Honestly, it's plausible that
sophisticated creatures,
like alien males, have cranial genitalia.
It had its dick in my mouth?
Yeah.
Uh-uh.
Guys, we need to stay calm, okay?
We need to stay calm.
Calm? [scoffs]
I just probably swallowed
a load of alien babies
that are gonna turn into puppies
and leap out of my chest.
I need to find my mom,
she's gonna know what to do.
If she's alive.
Hey, don't say that.
Chances are our parents are gone,
all right!
Hey, what did I say about
touching that kid?
What are you gonna do?
Gonna sucker punch me again?
Go for it,
'cause I chop your ass in the neck,
and then I'll chop you in the head
- and finish you with a rear-naked choke.
- Do you ever shut up?
I mean, between my fist
and that alien's dick,
your mouth should be worn out by now.
[screaming]
Why are you hitting me?
What we do in life...
echoes in eternity.
What the fuck?
[Zhenzhen] Hold the line!
Stay with me.
If you find yourself alone,
riding in green fields
with the sun on your face,
do not be troubled.
For you are in Elysium,
and you're already dead.
Did she just quote Gladiator?
Since when did she speak English?
Since when does she speak?
- May I ask where we're going?
- My jaw hurts...
The astronaut said that this key
can stop the aliens
and we need to take it to TRL.
JPL.
- A NASA facility.
- [Dariush] Tastes like truffle butter.
In the foothills of Pasadena.
I went there once for a robotics contest
with my dad.
- Do you know how to get there?
- Without GPS?
No, probably not.
It's over 70 miles away from here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
Wait, you wanna head 70 miles
into the city?
The alert said stay out
of metropolitan areas,
not head straight into them.
We don't have to take it all the way
to Pasadena.
Let's just get this key down the mountain
and take it to adults.
Tell them to take it to JPL.
[sighing] Oh, my gosh.
Guys.
There's a sheriff's station down a bit,
we could get it to a cop.
That's a great idea, Gabriel.
Now, let's get some bikes
and kick some ass.
[Dariush] Damn, girl,
your English is good.
They gave us the code at registration,
it's, um...
six-six-nine.
Come on, man.
[locks turning]
[Dariush] Hurry up, dude. Come on.
It's six-six-nine.
[Gabriel] Six... nine...
Dude, what are you talking about?
I said six-six-nine.
Come on, man. Dude, hurry up!
Just put it in there. What are you, dumb?
I'm not dumb.
Here, Gabriel. Let me help you.
I want this one,
it's got a 'Wakanda Forever' sticker.
Hey... what's wrong?
I can't go with you.
Why not?
I can't ride a bike.
I never learned.
It's okay.
You guys can go without me.
- [Dariush] Cool, we out!
- [Gabriel] No.
We got back down to your camp
and everyone left you,
how did that make you feel?
All right, you get on one side of Alex
and you get on the other,
and we'll get him up to speed.
- Gotcha.
- All right?
I won't let you fall.
You guys are...
I...
[sighs]
[Dariush] You got this.
Put your feet back on the pedal.
[Gabriel] The key is to get moving.
The faster you go,
the easier it is to stay balanced.
Are you sure about this?
[Gabriel] No.
[Dariush] Good, you're good.
Now, just keep doing that.
I don't... I don't know if I can do this.
Alex.
You're already doing it.
[all cheering]
[Zhenzhen] You're doing it!
[Alex] Yeah!
[Zhenzhen] You're doing it.
[Dariush] Yeah, boy!
- [Zhenzhen] Whoo!
- [Gabriel] Look at him.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, you guys. I'm doing it!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo!
Yeah!
[vocalizing]
This is so much fun, you...
- [Dariush] Oh!
- [Zhenzhen] Alex?
- Are you okay?
- Yo, is he dead?
[Gabriel] Alex?
- You okay?
- [Dariush] Yo, you good?
[Zhenzhen] You okay?
You okay?
[distant explosions]
Holy sh...
Yeah, like holy...
shit!
[gunfire]
[Zhenzhen] You all right?
[Dariush] Is that where we're going?
[wheezing]
[bullets clattering]
[growling]
[roaring]
[distant explosions]
There!
Man, this place is trashed.
Looks empty.
[Gabriel] Guys, I don't...
Nobody's, uh...
What?
You guys go ahead. I'll just
stay back and watch our bikes.
What?
Oh, yeah, because the aliens
wanna jack our mountain bikes.
Yeah, looters could take them.
Yeah, someone should stay and watch.
Whatever, man.
[Alex] Hello? Officers?
[Dariush] Shh! What if people are in here?
[Alex] What do you mean, "shh"?
[Dariush]
If I see a clown on a tricycle, I'm out.
- [Alex] Yes, we should go back.
- No!
We always move forward.
Come on.
Okay, offices.
[Dariush] What? It's a warning.
"Nuclear weapons authorized
for Los Angeles Basin.
Europe destroyed.
Asia... decimated."
[Alex] Hello?
Hello?
"Primary directive:
locate alien power source."
What?
Anybody?
[man] Hey.
[gasps]
Oh, hey. Don't be scared.
[grunts] Come on.
Come on.
Hey.
What's your name?
Alex.
My name's Lou.
See those keys right there?
Can you get 'em for me?
Alex, you're not gonna believe what
I just saw, man. It can't get any worse.
Oh, shit! What...
- [whispers] He wants me to let him go.
- [Dariush] What, you... Oh, no.
No, that's not going to happen.
Not today. Not at all.
What's going on?
Oh, what? They just evacuate
and leave me in here?
- So whatever it is up there can kill me?
- They're aliens.
And I suggest you keep your mouth
closed when they get up in here, 'cause...
When it...
What'd you do?
I was trying to help.
Yeah, it got a little crazy out there.
Look, Alex, you can stay here
and flirt with Buffalo Bill all day long.
All right?But let's get rid of that
astro-key so someone can stop this thing.
So that key's gonna stop this thing?
[scoffs gently]
Come on, man.
Dariush, it shouldn't be our job
to decide who lives and who dies.
Yeah. But right now it is, Alex.
The police obviously put him
in here for a reason.
All right, and I say...
we respect their decision,
and I'm black!
And he's probably a diddler.
No one deserves to be left in a cage.
Yeah, unless you're a murderer!
I say we let him go.
What do you say, Alex?
You're the final vote.
Okay. Look, I got a boy at home.
And if you leave me in here...
I'm gonna die.
No boy deserves to lose
his dad like that, right?
I mean...
you ready to live with that?
Do you promise not to hurt us?
Yeah, I promise not to hurt you, man.
Wait until we leave.
Then you can go.
[Zhenzhen] How is your watch still working
after the pulse?
It's not electronic, it's mechanical.
- Yo, he's doing good, right?
- Oh.
[Dariush] Yo. Watch out!
It was my dad's.
- He, uh...
- [Zhenzhen] Gave it to you?
- Yeah, he gave it to me.
- [Dariush] Yo!
You got this, Alex. You doing good, man!
Whoa!
- Hey! Hey!
- [kids yelling]
- Help!
- Stop!
- Hey!
- Stop!
Hey!
[soldier] Stay where you are.
Do not move!
[Alex] Same side. Same side. Same side!
Kids! Kids!
You should've evacuated hours ago.
We're at war.
Sir, we were in the mountains
when the attacks started.
Can you tell us what's going on?
How big is the attack?
Did it reach the nation's finest
Mercedes dealership?
- [Zhenzhen] Dude, how can you...
- My dad owns it.
- I'm the future heir.
- Shut up!
All I can tell you
is you are not safe here.
Everyone on the bus right now.
It'll take you to the evacuation center.
- Let's go!
- [Dariush] Whoa.
- Hey, wait!
- Let's go!
- Knock it off!
- Wait! Hey! Stop!
What?
You need to take this key to Pasadena.
Where'd you get this?
An astronaut from the space station
gave it to us.
- She said we need to take it to JPL.
- What's on that key can stop the aliens.
You need to get that to JPL in Pasadena
to a Dr. Fielding.
We've been receiving Morse code
from a Dr. Fielding at JPL all day.
Finding this key has been
the primary objective. Thanks, kid.
You may have just saved the world.
We'll take it from here.
Okay, we need to go. Move out. Now!
- Yeah.
- Yeah! We did it! Yo, we did...
Yo, I am so happy I told y'all
to go down the hill.
Great job, guys, you did it.
[Dariush]
Yeah, we did it. Now move your ass.
Let's go!
- Yo.
- [Zhenzhen] We did it.
[Dariush] Zhenzhen, we did it.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
[Dariush sighs]
Look!
There they go.
- [guns blasting]
- [explosion]
[man screaming]
[glass shattering]
[all screaming]
[Alex] Oh, my... Shit!
[Gabriel] Alex, are you okay?
Alex!
[man] Get out of here.
- Go!
- [Gabriel] Which door is blocked?
[soldier] Take cover!
Go.
Come on!
- Let's go!
- [man] Move!
[Dariush] Let's go.
We gotta get out of here, man!
[man] Get out of here.
[Dariush] Kick it!
- Go! Go, go, go!
- [rapid gunfire]
[woman] Let's go, out!
[Dariush] Go! Oh, shit!
Go the other way.
Watch out for the dogs!
- [gunshots]
- [roaring]
[Alex] Come on!
[Dariush] Go! Go! Go!
Keep your head down, man!
Holy shit! Oh, no!
- Pick this up with me.
- What are you doing?
- Pick it up with me.
- You gotta get out of here.
- We're gonna get you out!
- [captain] Stop, you gotta go.
I can't move it by myself!
- [explosion]
- [captain] You have to go.
[radio beeping Morse code]
[Dariush]
Yo, Zhenzhen, get the radio.
Come on, we can't leave you.
Stop. Stop.
It's okay.
It's on you now. Okay?
You have to let me go.
- [Alex] No, no, I... I can't!
- Shh.
- No!
- Stop!
Take this key. Here, take it.
Promise me.
Promise me...
you will not let anything stop you.
Okay?
Okay, now go. Go!
Now! Move!
Come on!
[heavy gunfire]
[distant gunfire]
[Dariush panting]
Oh, shit!
I told you that was a stupid idea.
You idiots almost got me killed.
I don't even wanna be at summer camp.
I should be in Cabo taking jelly shots
off someone's ass cheeks.
Slow down.Slow down.
What do you think these things are after?
Food maybe? Resources?
It's possible their planet went dry
and the came to raid ours.
What gives you that idea?
Nothing! It's the most common
invasion movie plot.
Maybe they're here to find mates.
That would explain the erotic rendezvous
with Dariush earlier.
Hey, whoa. No.
We're not gonna do all that, okay?
That was strictly platonic.
Let's just head north, okay?
To the desert.
Get as far away from that thing
as we can get, all right?
- As far away...
- There is no away from those things.
[Alex] Zhenzhen's right.
The only way we're going to survive
is if we get this key to Dr. Fielding.
- It's what that soldier was gonna do.
- He died.
Okay, look, if a bunch of bad-ass marines
can't get that key
40 feet away without getting deep fried,
what makes you think
that we can get it 40 miles?
We have to.
What?
It's on us.
Okay. We're not going anywhere
until we get some food.
Maybe even some sleep if we can.
[Dariush] All right, fine.
What's up with Chico?
- It's my street.
- Great!
Can we go in your house?
That's my house, but...
[sniffles, sighs]
It's not my home.
I haven't been totally honest
with you guys.
I was in the mountains because...
I was in juvie.
And I escaped.
So even if my mom is here...
she's not gonna wanna see me.
[distant gunfire]
Come on, man.
[spacecraft approaching]
[Alex] Go, go, jump left!
- No!
- What the hell was that?
- Run!
- Where do we go? Follow me.
[Dariush] Oh, damn!
Man, we need to get my man Jacobi
up in here.
[Gabriel] It's looters.
[Dariush] All right,
let's find something to eat.
Man, I need a T-bone steak,
some cheese eggs and Welch's grape.
I shouldn't have hit you.
It was my fault.
I don't know. I'm good, bro. I mean...
it doesn't hurt as much
as seeing all this gunk on my new J's.
How do you care about sneakers
in a time like this?
You know what? You guys are lucky.
You don't have friends.
It's hard out here for a pimp,
you know?
Gotta keep up with the flyest shit,
you know, the dopest kicks.
Tightest whip. Baddest chick.
And my friends, they're like bears.
Soon as they smell weakness,
they're just coming straight at your neck.
That's why I keep this on my neck.
Diamonds.
Does Dariush mean "douchebag" in Farsi?
What's Farsi?
It's the language your mom was screaming
- when you were coming out of her ass.
- [giggles]
Hey, don't talk about my mom's ass.
All right.
You wish you were there.
No offense, dude,
those don't sound like friends.
Yeah...
[spacecraft approaching]
[spacecraft departing]
Hey, how did you even end up in jail?
My dad left when... when I was about ten.
You know, I got a job as a bag boy,
at a grocery store my mom worked at.
To, you know... help her with money.
One time she steps away,
I took over the cash register.
I was helping a customer,
and, uh, he started to accuse me
of stealing from him.
I guess I gave him the wrong change.
I get numbers...
like, muddled in my head sometimes,
unless I see them written down.
But he didn't believe me.
And, um...
I just...
I lost it.
So I decked him.
Broke his nose.
Mom got fired and...
they sent me away.
She never came around to visit me once.
You can't choose your family.
But you can always make a new one.
Come on.
A young Yoda up in here?
[laughing]
- Come on, guys.
- Oh, we're taking an old school selfie?
One, two, three.
[clicks, pops]
- Dude, stop playing with the Rubik's cube.
- I can't, okay! I can't!
We can all agree
that she gets her own bed, right?
Well, yeah, obviously.
It's the only gentlemanly thing to do.
It's only right. It sounds like a plan.
One of you can sleep with me.
Hold it. Hold it. Wait, wait!
Did she just say one of us
could sleep with her?
- Maybe we misheard her.
- Okay, look.
I will volunteer my services
for the good of the group,
and because I've had the most experience.
With what? Not getting any?
Hey, it's better than eatingLithuanian
smoothies from your bunk mate in juvie.
- Lithuanian smoothies?
- You don't need to know.
How about we get Alex and Zhenzhen
to sleep together?
- Because he doesn't want to.
- I wouldn't say I don't want to.
- They have a connection!
- We do?
So don't be a cock-block.
Fine, fine. All right. Okay, cool.
I won't block your cock.
Be free.
Thanks.
It's no problem.
Ah, crap! I forgot my sleep apnea mask.
If I snore, I'm sorry.
You have sleep apnea?
How old are you?
It's non-age-discriminate, Gabriel!
Just move over.
[clicking]
I'm glad it was you.
[Dariush snoring]
- [loud banging]
- [cat squealing]
[all panting]
[clears throat]
Shh! Shh! Shh! [whispers] Aliens...
Yeah.
We gotta go.
You see anything?
No, come on.
[shushing]
[Alex] Guys, we should turn back.
We can't now, man. We're already here.
Dude, I'm telling you,
this is how people die in movies.
Guys. You see anything?
You need some Frebreze on these sheets.
Ah! Oh! Oh!
[gun cocks]
- Oh, shit!
- [all gasping]
[man] Not another step.
- Move!
- [Dariush] I'm backing up.
The hell you doing out here?
We're in the middle of an alien invasion.
Oh, yeah, I mean, and you're the ones
with the Purge masks.
- Wrong genre, bro.
- [man] We got a comedian here.
No!
There are aliens out here, okay?
We're not the enemy.
You guys have something we're looking for.
Dignity?
What'd you say?
[man 2] Everybody calm down.
Look what we found.
Lou!
- Oh my God, Lou!
- Thank you, Baby Jesus.
- Thank you, God!
- Lou.
- Thank God!
- Hold on, you know this guy?
[man] No. No, no, no, no.
Do we know him? Hell, yeah we know him!
- Yes! Yes!
- We go way back. Lou, my negro!
Lou, you know me. We're like this.
I wanted to free... Alex was the one
who was like, "Leave him in there,"
and I was like,
"Dude, let's free him. He's a human."
Do you mind, if you could just tell
these handsome men, the ones...
pointing the shotguns at our face,
to, you know...
not... not do that?
- Please?
- Please.
Please.
I don't think anyone needs
to get hurt tonight.
But Alex...
if you'd be so kind as to give me that?
This?
Yeah.
This is our only shot
at defeating the aliens.
Yeah.
That means someone
will pay a lot of money for it.
Give me...
the key.
I can't.
I made a promise.
Alex, give him the key. Enough. Okay?
[Lou] You can give me the key
and just walk away.
Or I can cut your head off
and take the key from the stump.
I trusted you.
The cemeteries are full of people
who trusted me.
Oh, shit!
[man screaming]
[roaring]
- [man screaming]
- Oh, sh...
- Hurry!
- [Alex] Run!
Come on!
[creature snarling]
[shotgun blast]
[shouting]
[bones crunching]
[Lou screaming]
[boys grunting]
- Gabriel!
- Gabriel!
Gabriel, what are you doing?
Zhenzhen, throw me the glow sticks.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- Gabriel, hurry up!
- Over here.
- Throw 'em! Come on!
- [Alex] Come here.
[sticks snapping]
[Alex] What are you doing?
Hey!
[growling]
Come here!
- Gabriel, hurry up!
- Come here, you're gonna die!
- Get over here!
- Hurry!
[Dariush] Hurry up, Gabriel!Come on!
Get him, get him, get him!
- Come on! Come get me!
- Gabriel!
Gabriel!
[roaring]
- Hurry up!
- Gabriel, come on!
Go! Hurry!
Gabriel, come on!
[Dariush] Get out, Gabriel!
Oh, shit, it worked, Gabriel!
- Oh, my God.
- It worked.
Go! Go!
[guns blasting]
That was the same alien from camp.
I thought we killed that thing.
If it came down with the capsule,
that means it survived the heat
of atmospheric re-entry
Which means it must have tremendous
cellular regeneration abilities.
English, Alex, please.
It's like Wolverine.
Oh.
Why the hell is the following us?
It's pissed about its dog.
You ever watch Marley and Me
or Beethoven?
It's a primal bond.
It's out for revenge. Ask John Wick.
You're putting human motives
on an alien lifeform.
No, it probably just had orders
to kill Collins
and anyone she came in contact with.
We're just loose ends to this thing.
- No, you know what, dog theory was better.
- Who gives a frog's fat ass why?
This ain't Comic-Con, bitches.
All that matters is that it wants us dead.
And we can't kill it.
She's right. We should just keep moving.
I'm done with your ideas.
You were the one who thought
to let Hannibal Lecter out of his cell.
Consider your leadership privileges...
revoked!
Sometimes you do the right thing
and it doesn't work out.
That doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing.
Who the hell told you that?
My dad.
Never knew what it meant until right now.
Look, why is it up to us to save humanity?
What, do you think someone else
should do it? Of course you do.
The kid who's always
had everything done for him.
Maybe Mommy and Daddy
can pay the alien to go away,
buy him a new Mercedes...
Hey! You don't know my family, dude.
That's enough!
That's enough!
You don't know me. My family has nothing!
Oh, yeah? Except for a car dealership
and a mansion and a yacht!
No, the dealership is gone.
It's all gone.
That's why they sent me to camp, man.
It's...
It's just stuff.
[Dariush] I don't know who I am
without all that stuff.
And... they're taking my dad.
He's going to jail.
I'm... I'm sorry.
[radio beeping Morse code]
Ah, here we go.
I'm sorry I head-butted you.
You should clean that up.
Yeah, that's fine.
Sorry for... punching you.
It's Dr. Fielding.
He's trying to contact us. We gotta go.
Maybe we should try to find some clothes?
No clue what that thing can track,
it might be our scent.
Then let's go.
[splashing]
[Dariush] I hope they got
a McDonald's in here,
I need me, like, two McDoubles
and an ice cream.
[Zhenzhen] Hurry, come on.
Gotta get inside.
[Dariush] Come on.
I know Gucci's downstairs, let's go.
Yo. You guys...
How do you think an alien
would do against this?
[imitates lightsaber]
The circle is complete!
I am your master now.
[imitates lightsaber]
No, the line is,
"The circle is now complete.
Now I am the master."
Okay, we really need to get you a girl.
Gotta cut this shit out. You know
too much about this Star Trek shit.
- Guys!
- It's Star Wars.
It's time for a change.
Sorry.
It's okay.
That pamphlet must mean a lot to you.
For you to bring it all the way here.
I didn't bring it here.
It brought me.
Well then, why did you leave home?
Let's just say dad wanted a boy.
[sighs]
Zhenzhen, what are you doing?
That's what brought you here.
Yeah, but...
this is why I'm staying.
Let it go, man.
Come on.
["Hot in Herre" playing]
With a little bit of, uh uh
And a little bit of, uh uh
Just a little bit of
Just a little bit of
Iwas like, "Good gracious
Ass is bodacious"
Flirtatious, tryin' to show patience
It's gettin' hot in herre
So hot
So take off all your clothes
I am, gettin' so hot
I wanna take my clothes off
- Guys! Guys!
- What?
- Look.
- What's up?
Yeah, Mannequin Skywalker.
- Alex...
- Man, if you don't...
No, you know what? That was...
That shit was funny.
That was pretty good. Give me some.
Aw, come on, man.
Don't tell me we gotta teach you again?
1973 Ford Mustang Mach One.
My dad had one just like it.
That Mustang doesn't have any computers
or anything that can be fried
by the pulse, right?
Right.
- [Zhenzhen] Come on!
- [Alex] I'm driving!
- [Dariush] Let's go!
- [Gabriel] Shotgun.
Finally got some real wheels
up in here, let's go!
- Yes!
- Let's ride.
Oh, my God.
- Whoo!
- I'm getting in the back.
- [Gabriel] Let's roll!
- Yeah!
- [Dariush] Let's go.
- [Gabriel] Hit it.
[Dariush] Start this shit up!
Oh.
- I can't drive a stick.
- [Dariush] What?
- [Gabriel] Oh.
- [engine starting]
["Straight Outta Compton" playing]
[tires squealing]
Straight outta Compton
Crazy mother... named Ice Cube
From the gang called...
With Attitudes
When I'm called off,
I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger
And bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya... with me
The police are gonna
Have to come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin' out
For the punk mother...
That's showing out
Start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix'emand cook 'em
In a pot like gumbo
- Hold on tight.
- [tires squealing]
With a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin' when I'm down for...
[metal crunching]
[snarling]
[all screaming]
Ah!
Oh, shit!
- [glass shattering]
- [screaming]
[roaring]
[tires screeching]
It's on top of the roof!
Hang on!
Oh, shit, where's it at?
[sighs]
- It's gone. Gimme some.
- [Zhenzhen] Whoo!
- Oh, it's gone!
- Yes!
[roaring]
Oh! Oh!
[screaming]
[all screaming]
- Jump!
- What?
- Are you crazy?
- [grunts]
Jump! Jump!
Jump!
Way to go, Zhenzhen!
- [groaning]
- [Gabriel] Is everyone okay?
[Alex] Yeah, I think so.
Guys. Guys! I don't have the key.
- What?
- It's probably in the car.
- We need that key.
- Ah!
[Dariush] Damn it.
- Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
- Where you going?
To get the key.
No way we can kill that thing,
it's just gonna reanimate.
Yeah, but...
but we need that key to finish this off.
- You're gonna die if you go down there.
- She's right, we'll go together.
So all four of us can die?
I thought you were supposed
to be the smart one.
It's my turn.
Look, man...
Did you know I was named
after the ancient King of Persia, Darius?
Well, do you know who Darius's
greatest rival ever was,
the only one to ever defeat him?
- Alexander the Great.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I knew you'd know that.
Well, look...
this time...
Darius gets to be the hero.
Good luck.
[creature wheezing weakly]
[grunts]
Come on!
[grunting]
- [music playing loudly on stereo]
- Oh, shit.
[music stops]
Oh, I got it. I got it!
I got it.
- Yeah! Yes!
- Yes.
[panting] I got the key.
[all] Hey, behind you!
What?
I got it.
- No!
- Dariush, behind you!
- Turn around!
- No!
[roaring]
[groaning]
We gotta go.
[Gabriel] Come on, Dariush!
[Alex] Go, run!
- [Zhenzhen] Look out!
- [Gabriel] We gotta go!
Come on. You okay?
- That cut looks terrible.
- I'm okay, I'm all right.
Let's just get this key to JPL.
That was really cool driving back there.
I couldn't have done that.
You don't give yourself enough credit.
I'm told girls find bravery attractive.
I've never really had much of that.
[in Mandarin] My whole life
I have been searching for love.
When I saw you on the bridge...
I knew you were the one.
If you feel the same way...
kiss me now
and we will be together forever.
[in English]
I'm sorry, my Mandarin is rudimentary.
Hmm?
- What did you say?
- [chuckles softly]
- [Zhenzhen sighs]
- What did you say?
Zhenzhen, I don't actually speak Mandarin.
- What did you say?
- Yo, look! Look, JPL.
- What?
- Whoa!
- Let's go.
- Come on!
- Man, this place got hit hard.
- [Dariush] The building is destroyed.
Nobody can survive that.
- [radio beeping Morse code]
- [Zhenzhen] He's still here.
Dr. Fielding's still here!
[Alex] This way!
[Dariush] If we get out of this alive,
NASA's paying for my therapy.
Oh, wow.
They're testing plasma rockets.
Those things burn hotter
than the surface of the Sun.
Look, all we gotta do
is get this key to Dr. Fielding
then you can look at all
the nerd porn you want.
Dr. Fielding!Dr. Fielding!
We have the key, sir.
Dr. Fielding, we have the key.
- Dr. Fielding.
- Dr. Fielding.
- Dr. Fielding!
- We have the key, sir!
Over here.
Guys!
- Go, go, go!
- Dr. Fielding.
He's dead, guys.
[Alex] But how?
[Morse code beeping]
- [dripping]
- [beeping]
[radio beeping Morse code]
Shoot!
We've failed.
It's over.
I mean...
let's be honest, guys.
Who do we think we are?
Nerd.
Criminal.
Orphan.
A joke.
I guess I'll...
go try and find my parents.
Me too.
[sighs]
What are you doing?
Look.
They didn't even get to open this.
Well, since we're all gonna die together,
may I propose a toast?
Oh, crap. This is from 1969!
I mean, could at least get some fresh wine
if this is gonna be my first time, right?
[bottle clattering]
[button clicks]
[general] Citadel, this is Crystal Palace.
- What? What was that?
- Go! What the heck?
Citadel...
- [Alex] Hello?
- ...this is Crystal Palace. Do you copy?
We're here, over!
Citadel, identify yourself.
What is your name, ma'am? Over!
I'm Alex.
How old are you?
I'm thirteen.
And if you don't mind me asking,
who are we talking to?
This is General George Khoury
at Cheyenne Mountain.
Is anyone alive at JPL?
Is Dr. Fielding there?
[Alex] There are four of us,
everyone else is dead.
The astronaut sent us, before she died.
You were sent by Major Collins?
Yeah, that's why we came.
She gave us the key
and said something about Excalibur.
What, you have the crypto-key
in your possession?
That's right. What do we need to do
to get it to work?
[Khoury sighs]
Nothing.
You need to get out of there.
I'm... I'm sorry. It's over.
There's nothing you kids
can do against this thing.
Now get out of there immediately,
we're sending two units to pick you...
No.
- What didyou say, son?
- I said no.
I made a promise
I wouldn't let anything stop me.
So I'm gonna keep trying
and it will be a lot easier
if you would help me.
We didn't come all this way
to give up now.
We're done being told
what we can and can't do.
We made it across
half of southern California.
- Past aliens and soldiers.
- [Dariush] A diddler!
Don't forget about the diddler.
All the way here.
Nobody helped us get here.
All we had was each other.
So you're gonna listen to me,
because we're not kids anymore,
and we're the best chance you've got.
I'm going to ask you
one more time, General.
What do we need to do
to get this thing working?
All right, someone needs to go down
to the basement and fire up
the emergency generators.
Start them in sequence,
exactly four seconds apart.
Send your fastest, strongest...
I'll do it!
I'm sorry, that sounded like a young girl.
Oh, yeah!
Aliens don't stand a chance against her.
All right!
You need to climb through the vent.
The vault door won't open
until the power is back on.
- Got it.
- Look...
You're not safe at JPL.
- Did you hear the four seconds part?
- Yeah.
If this doesn't work,
I need to make sure...
[Alex] You're gonna need to time it.
Takecare of it.
And yourself.
Your father would be proud.
[kisses]
What are we doing? What is Excalibur?
Excalibur was a Cold War defense project.
It was meant to shoot down
Russian missiles.
Yeah, using fusion pumped X-ray lasers,
I read about that.
Never mind him. He knows everything.
Keep going.
The key that Major Collins gave you
contains the coordinates
of the alien mothership in high orbit.
We can destroy the mothership.
You're our last hope.
Okay, what else do we need to do
to get this shit started?
You need to realign the satellite dish
on the roof,
then get a working computer
and load the coordinates
Major Collins gave you.
Then activate Excalibur.
- All right, I'll go to the roof.
- No, Gabriel.
You guys load the programs.
I'm gonna go to the roof.
Plus you're hurt
and he's the only one keeping you alive.
What are you talking about?
You're afraid of heights!
I'm scared of everything.
It's my turn.
Tell Zhenzhen,
I'm gonna want my watch back.
And if I die...
tell her I love her.
Actually, wait... don't tell her
I love her, just tell her I was into her.
I don't want to freak her out
with the "L" word.
Just go!
[grunting]
[roars]
[Zhenzhen yelling]
[vent clanging]
Ow!
[gasps]
[quietly] Switches...
Oh, my God. That's tall.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
Don't look down.
[electricity crackling]
Switches.
Four, three,
two, one.
Four, three, two, one.
Four, three, two, one.
[systems powering up]
Shit, she actually got the power back on.
Yes! Okay.
Good. Do you see the monitors
at the back of the room?
Are the control stations working?
Yeah. Yeah!
- The computers are working.
- Excellent.
- It's on.
- Now insert the crypto-key.
- [beeping]
- I got it. I got it!
Okay, did your friend move the dish yet?
Uh...
No, I see him but he hasn't moved it yet.
Then you have to wait
before you launch Excalibur.
[wind whistling]
[quietly] Don't look down.
You can do this.
[Gabriel] Shit!
- Alex!
- Alex!
- Alex!
- Activate the PA system.
- Alex!
- Alex!
- [Dariush on PA] Alex!
- God?
Behind you, look down!
- [Dariush] Go, hurry, Alex!
- Oh, God!
[grunting]
[snarling]
[grunting]
[beeping]
- Oh, he did it!
- God!
[hissing]
[yells]
[screaming]
[groans]
Yeah!
Ah! [screams]
[door unlocks]
No...
[screaming] No!
- [roaring]
- No! [screams]
[Khoury] Son, Excalibur needs two people
to launch it.
Shit, he passed out.
Hey, get up! Get up!
One of your other friends
is going to have to help you.
Where are they?
I don't know.
[loud munching sounds]
Alex! Zhenzhen!
[over PA] Dariush is in bad shape
and I can't do this alone.
[Zhenzhen screams]
[snarling]
[screaming]
[sighs]
Get the two launch keys
from the safe locker.
Let me know when you're there
and I'll give you the code.
Oh, no!
F... F...
Okay.
Punch in...
nine, six, three, two, two,
one, zero, three.
Tell me when you've got it open.
Uh...
- [buzzes]
- No.
I said, nine, six, three, two, two,
one, zero, three.
Fuck!
The code, nine, six, three, one...
[voice echoing and distorted]
- No, no, no!
- [Dariush] Gabriel.
I wrote it down for you.
I got you, brother.
- Oh, my God. Thanks. Thank you.
- [Dariush weakly] Hurry up.
Okay. Okay. Three, two, two, one...
- [beeps]
- Okay! [grunts]
I got 'em!I got 'em!
It is imperative that they are inserted
at the same time.
Oh, shit, he passed out again.
Dariush. Hey.
We are running out of time, son!
Hey, wake up. Wake up!
We are running out of time, son!
I can't. I can't!
- Gabriel!
- Zhenzhen!
Come on, we gotta do this!
- What do we do?
- Right here, okay.
- Right here?
- Yeah.
On my mark, okay?
Three, two, one.
[crashing]
[roaring]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[clunking]
Come at me, bitch!
Come get me, mother...
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- You can't kill that with a flare gun.
- No. But I know what can.
Launch Excalibur, then meet me outside.
Ah!
- Oh, shit, we gotta go! Come on.
- Come on. Go!
- We gotta try this again. Ready?
- Try this again.
We gotta put an end to this, okay?
Three, two, one, go!
[machine powering up]
[beeping]
[Gabriel] Oh, yes!
- We did it!
- Yes!
Now, get out of there immediately.
We're sending two units to pick you up.
The building is not safe.
Yeah!
Yes!
[alarm blaring]
Come on.
Come get me!
[panting]
- [automated voice on PA] Warning!
- [buzzer sounding]
Warning!
Warning!
[engine whirring]
[singing softly]
Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
- To keep me from getting to you...
- [heart beating rapidly]
[low growl]
- [yells]
- [flare gun fires]
[loud whooshing]
[explosion]
[all groaning]
No, hey. It's too dangerous.
But I have to get him.
- It's too late.
- Alex!
No! No!
Alex, come on!
- Come on!
- I can't.
- Alex, you can.
- No, I can't!
- Alex!
- No, Dad!
Go!
[wailing]
- You have to let go.
- I'm not gonna leave.
- Alex, you have to let go.
- No, stop!
[crying] No!
- [Dad] Don't be afraid.
- No!
[Dad] Alex, don't be afraid.
It's okay.
You can do this.
[explosion]
Alex. Please. Please.
[building rubble crumbling]
Alex.
[all] Alex!
[Dariush] Oh, my God!
Yeah!
Alex!
Oh, my God!
[all clamoring excitedly]
Oh, my God!
Dude, I missed you so much.
[laughing]
Did we do it?Did we do it?
[loud booming]
[Alex] Whoa!
[Gabriel] Guys, we did it.
Hell, yeah, we did it.
- Whoo! Yeah.
- Oh, man!
Oh, my God.
Yeah!
I guess you're pretty brave after all.
You really think so?
[triumphant music playing]
[sonic booms]
[all cheering]
[jet engines roaring]
[Dariush] Oh, yeah, I'm definitely
coming back next year, for sure.
[Alex] We saved the world!
[dramatic upbeat music playing]
[bear roaring]