Rites of Passage (2011) Movie Script

( eerie orchestral music )
MAN: Bitch was going
the wrong way on the 101.
MAN: She's going the
wrong way on the 101.
She blew a 2.3!
Walked away without a scratch!
I'm gonna kill
that Chumash bitch.
( rock music plays )
( laughs )
( student chatter )
GIRL: Here come the
Delta Gamma Whore-pedoes.
Look at that skirt.
GUY: They're so beautiful.
GIRL: Seriously.
You brought your books today.
All right,
let's settle down, people.
We got a lot to go over
before the mid-term.
Okay, this is a Chumash
Indian shaman.
He believed he was
a shape shifter.
He would drink Jimsonweed tea,
which was made from
the root of this flower.
That shit's fucked up.
Oh, it'll get you fucked up.
Then they would
The shaman believed he would
shape shift into a were-bear,
which is the great
California Grizzly.
( growls )
- Shh.
- All right, Dani?
What's going on?
You got a problem back there?
We're talking about
your heritage.
I'm only half Chumash.
My mom's British.
Look, what happened to your
people was tragic, okay?
It was criminal.
Those the Spanish didn't kill
would torture and disease.
They finished off
with guns and bigotry.
( soft moaning )
( unzips )
Mmm, Doug. Doug.
Doug, I gotta go.
- I have to.
- You sure?
No-- no, I gotta go.
I have class.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I have class.
Hey, my family is coming
in on Sunday.
I'm driving down.
We're gonna have lunch on State
Street, wanna come with us?
We'll have mimosas,
we'll get carded.
Uh, your parents?
Yeah, is that weird?
It's a little serious, Doug.
( loud knock )
Well, I'll call you later
and we'll figure it out.
All right, go. Bye.
Hey, Nathan.
Come on in, man.
That was a great
paper you wrote.
Oh, you wanted to see me
about your assignment.
What's going on?
Yeah, um, well, my father,
see, he owns this property,
it's just south of campus.
Well, get to the point.
What's up?
It's a Chumash burial site.
The Anderson Rose Ranch?
- Yeah.
- That's your family?
- Mmm-hmm.
- Jesus.
They never let anyone
dig up there.
Yeah, well, um, so I was
thinking of recreating
a brush hut ceremony
this weekend.
You know, for the assignment?
I'd enjoy
participating in that.
Consider that approved.
( gulls calling )
( tribal chanting )
( loud creaking )
Grandmother Momoy,
I've come to beg
for your roots.
I promise to do you no harm.
I need to borrow your
magic for tonight.
( lighter clicks, closes )
Cooking up your funny
tea there, Benny?
I would appreciate it if you
would confine yourself
to the greenhouse I gave you.
And stay out of my business.
The quicksand effect
of depression.
A strategy for
a true freedom.
To hell with this
self help crap
and Amazon.com for taking my
money when I was confused.
( echoes )
I'm the shaman.
I am the bear.
May Grandmother Momoy take me
to the far away place.
( party chatter )
( echoing voices chanting )
( laughter )
( echoing voices )
( bear howls )
( overlapping voices )
( tires screech )
Stop it!
Get away! Ugh!
Hello! Don't you see me here?
( echoing voices chanting )
Everything all right?
This guy is just
riding my ass.
What are you looking at?
- Do you even know that guy?
- No.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
( pop music blaring )
Crazy how fast this
coverage came in, huh?
Yeah, it was gorgeous earlier.
You never told me what
it's like getting shot.
Knocks the wind out of you.
But hey, it got me discharged.
Otherwise I'd still
be over there.
All throughout history,
most cultures have
what they call
a rite of passage ceremony.
Turning boys into men.
I mean, you fought a war.
I guess mine is
shot gunning beers,
trying to get laid
and failing miserably at it.
Sometimes I just feel like
I'm always gonna be stuck,
you know?
Never knowing
what I'm made of.
Nathan what
I think you want...
It's not all it's
cracked up to be.
You want the gak or not?
You little, fucking tease.
Are you fucking for real?
You're fucking trying to
set me up, you little--
Relax. Back the fuck
away from the gate.
Where you going, Benny?
To see my fianc.
Fianc. You?
( buzzes )
Where is my Ritalin?
You're always in my purse.
Where's my Ritalin?
- What?
- Ritalin?
What're you on about?
I took two.
You must've taken the rest.
Come on, those things
aren't fucking candy.
Try to just chill out, okay?
I have engineering mid-terms.
Big deal.
Discuss the elegy
in its various forms,
and the poet's place in society,
through a comparison
of Kahlil Gibran, Percy Shelley
or John Milton? You fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Oh, fuck. ( gasps )
I can't catch my breath.
( horns honking )
I can't-- No, I can't.
I can't breathe.
She's having a panic attack.
I'm suffocating!
Now let me go!
( horns honking )
I can't--
What do we do?
What do we do?
Get her Xanax.
Nathan, grab her Xanax.
Call an ambulance.
Can an--
I got it. I got it.
Breathe. It's okay.
It's okay.
Here, here, here.
- Has this happened before?
- Just relax.
There's nothing to see here!
You don't have to be
embarrassed, Dani.
It happens to a lot of people.
Listen, I've only be living with
you guys for a few weeks,
and you all treat me like
family, so.
Awww, you're welcome, baby.
( laughs )
Hey, Dani, about before.
Giving you a bit of space,
I had to do it.
Why don't I spark you up
a little smokey smoke?
Shut up, come on.
Let's get Dani wasted!
Let's race!
( voices echo )
( loud music, chatter )
( all cheering )
Whoa! Yeah!
Rock the vacuum cleaner!
( overlapping dialogue )
- Go, go, go, go!
- Take that shit!
Make that bong
your bitch, boy!
Now, son!
Get it! Get it!
You wanna do this!
You wanna take it to the face!
- Fucking bomb of the gods!
- Hold it!
( all cheering )
( all cheer, music blaring )
It's not gonna hurt.
Watch. Watch this.
It's not gonna hurt, all right?
It's liked muted.
Ready for all my love, Moose?
Always and forever.
Hold up! Wait!
Nah, go ahead.
( laughter )
I've always wanted
to fuck a Penelope.
Oh, really?
We're getting naked, right?
A deal's a deal, right?
- Yeah.
- ( puking )
ALL: Ooooh!
Buddy, god. Does anyone know how
to maintain their alcohol here?
I would rather see
my kids die today.
Some believing in god
than have grow up
under communism.
You're drooling, bro.
No, it's crazy to think
that a girl like that
would ever wanna miss
out on all this here.
Whoa, whoa. Don't discredit
these guns, man.
Come on.
Knock that shit off.
You gotta visualize it.
You gotta see it like
it's already happening.
( voice echoes )
( overlapping dialogue )
That was weak, though.
That was weak.
( laughter )
Somebody wants attention.
Dani's a hot mess.
( voices echo, bear growls )
Who the fuck is this creeper?
( both laugh )
Looks like Superman
discovering heat vision.
Dude! Well, turn your crazy
ass stare on somebody else.
Shit, creeper, what are you on?
( laughter )
Shit, he's busted!
He want weed on.
- Babe.
- Holy fuck.
You know what I think he needs?
More cowbell.
I think he needs
more cowbell.
- Stranded.
- He's stranded!
Guys, stop, man.
This is my brother, you guys.
Party killer's
your fucking bro?
Stop drawing on his face, dude.
It's not cool.
Dude, he's tripping balls, man.
He's totally high!
Oh, fuck!
( all yelling )
- He's family, come on.
- Just leave him alone, dude.
What're you doing here, man?
What's going on?
Benny, look at me.
What're you doing here?
My bride and I must
pass together
through the western gate.
Beyond that is a bridge
we must cross.
- There are many obstacles...
- Stop it.
waiting to trick us from
getting to the far away place.
The creeper dude,
he's whacked! He's whacked!
Did you drink it again?
Benny, look at me.
Did you drink it?
He's high on
Jimsonweed tea, guys.
Just leave him alone.
- He's fucking whacked.
- It's a Chumash thing.
- Leave him alone.
- I'm going home.
Benny, just hang out
for a second. Benny.
- Great, guys.
- Okay, go get him.
Does he have
any more of that?
Benny, come on, wait.
Just hang out, okay?
You can't go off
like this right now.
Benny. Okay?
We both know it's time.
There's nothing left
for me here.
Benny, come on, man.
I mean--
( music blaring )
Let me get the shit
off your face.
No. I love you, Nathan.
I love you.
But all of this--
None of it's real.
Okay, Benny. I actually
agree with you there.
Just come back inside
for a second.
Look at me.
I promise I won't let anybody
do anything to you again.
Ooh, yeah.
Ha, ha!
You're not gonna
drive, right?
Look at me.
You're not gonna drive, right?
I'm not gonna drive.
Ooh! Yeah.
Hey, Mojo.
That's the spot right there.
How you doing tonight?
Oh, um, I'm all right.
You've been really good.
I got a girlfriend.
- Are you sure about that?
- Mmm-hmm. It's serious.
No, you should get off me now.
Go on. Off you go.
Yeah, off you go.
Couple of months
we've been together.
She loves me.
( laughs )
How the fuck am I supposed
to get home from here?
Nathan's brother.
Hey, Benny. How 'bout giving
a girl a ride home, huh?
You don't mind, do you?
I'm just over the highway
right off Calle Real.
( voice echoes )
I love you.
You know who you look like?
The lead singer of Weezer.
Benny! Fuck.
( groans )
The hell--?
( moaning, sobbing )
( exhales )
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
Please. Please.
I'm so cold.
I have to go to the bathroom.
How long have
you been here?
You don't remember?
I did this to you?
- Oh--
- Please let me go.
You-- you were so high.
It's not your fault, okay?
You didn't mean to do this.
Please, just--
My arms are sore.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
I promise I won't
tell anybody.
What-- why are you stopping?
Why are you stop-- I swear
to god, I won't tell a soul.
- Do you really?
- Yes.
I don't want any trouble.
I'm so sorry.
Ah-- This is all a big mistake.
The last thing I ever want
to do is hurt anybody, and--
It stays between you and me.
Okay? I won't tell anybody.
You're a good guy.
You are. I know that.
- Yeah.
- You didn't mean it. Just--
Pl-- please let me go.
You-- please.
Please. Please, let me go.
I won't tell anybody.
( voices fade )
Oh. I love you.
You're perfect.
You starting to
feel good, baby?
- Oh, yeah.
- You're such a sweet guy.
I meet so many rude
and gross guys on here
and I have to cut
them off but not you.
I love it when you're online.
I can be myself with you.
You know, it's odd, but, I kinda
like that I can't see you.
Makes me leave it all up
to my imagination.
Turn around.
I want to see your doggie.
You just want
to see my dolphin.
Yeah, that's right.
I think about getting
more work done on it.
What do you think?
( retching )
Dani! Aw, are you okay?
- ( sobbing )
- Here.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to be sorry.
Let's just get back
to bed, huh?
All right, let's go, people!
Rise and shine!
Yo, it's a beautiful day!
Get up!
Got one life to live, everybody!
Hey! Does nobody knock
in this country?
Working the morning bone, huh?
That your webcam princess?
She's cute!
Mojo, I'm thinking.
We should find you a real girl.
Are you, um-- you seriously
still standing there, huh?
You wanna get
the fuck out maybe?
Are you crying?
Fuck off, all right?
Fuck off!
( heavy metal blaring )
( horns honking )
( horns continue honking )
( loud scream )
That feels nice.
Don't stop.
My mom used to do that
when I was little.
Before she and my dad
started telling me
I'm such a big
Guess I proved
them right, huh?
So listen, uh, I just
wanted to tell you,
Dani rages hard.
Too fun, too fast.
I know you like her and all,
I'm just--
I just don't know if
that's the best fit.
You-- you think she
would've stopped.
You know, after the accident?
I mean--
People died.
MOOSE: When are we going?
Let's go already.
What the fuck was up with your
creeper brother last night?
"My bride and I
must pass together
through the western gate."
Who would, like anybody,
get within 50 feet of that--
Okay, all right, guys.
Benny is a good guy.
He really is.
And he's really smart.
He used to be a
Wall Street trader.
Just snapped under
the pressure one day, and--
Snapped is right.
Walks into the office naked
with feathers and face paint,
and they fired him.
- ( laughter )
- Wow.
Then he invents this story about
a fianc and how she left him.
I asked him, I was like,
what fianc?
And he looked at me
like I was crazy.
He's just-- he's never
recovered from that.
I'm really afraid
he might kill himself.
Now I'm doomed.
My whole life is forfeited.
And I can't let you go now.
If I do, you'll certainly
go to the police.
You look Native
American Indian.
Do you-- are you by chance?
Here. That feel better?
My father closed this
rose ranch years ago.
We're the only ones here.
Except Delgado,
but he won't bother us.
He ran a hardware store.
I took him in after he lost
his wife and kid a year ago.
Now he's just a mess.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You are so beautiful.
You will find me to be a very
loving and caring husband.
( rattling )
( hears faint music )
Shhh, shhh!
The cops are out there!
Quit being a drama queen.
Come on, come on.
Just-- just sit still.
Just sit still.
Read some Charlie Brown.
Shh! Shh! Fuck!
Shit! Fuck!
No, they're not.
Calm down!
Don't tell me to calm down!
You don't hear 'em?
Come on, I fucking hear them.
- They're out there.
- Stop listening to your brain!
It's Radio K-fuck!
You dust buzzard!
You know where your own
best thinking gets you?
I fucking hear them,
Stay out of your head.
Listen to me.
I ride shotgun,
I got your back.
Nothing good ever comes
from between your ears.
Stop smoking gak
and get to work.
Put the gun down,
there's no cops.
Everything's okay.
You'll be fine!
( knocking )
How long you been
out here, huh?
Hey, don't point
that at me, Delgado.
And quit cooking without a
Hazmat suit. Gets in your pores.
Christ, Benny,
how many times I tell you
don't come up here,
I don't want you coming up here!
Wanna lose your leg?
The hell is that?
Is that a bear trap?
Now that I see you could
booby trap the place,
no, no way!
I don't like people
sneaking up on me, Benny.
I'm moving on. You can have
the ranch to yourself.
At least until my dad
figures out I'm gone.
When are you coming back?
I'm not.
Hey, hey, that's bullshit, man.
Huh? I ain't finished
my cook yet!
You think I want a bunch of
people sneaking up here
asking for your
sorry ass? No.
You are staying, pal!
You really want to take
this dance with me?
Into the tunnel of light.
You are one creepy
motherfucker, Benny.
This one's got a death
wish or something.
BENNY: Grandmother Momoy,
make this brew strong enough
to take my bride and I to
the far away place.
( rock music blaring )
( horns honking )
I haven't even asked my
brother if it's cool yet.
Come on, Benny will
be fine when he sees
who the naughty
professor brought.
( loud clanging )
Oh, Grandmother Momoy.
Let me behold
your magic light
as the sun fades in to beyond
on this final day and night.
Final day and night.
Penelope, we try
our hardest, but life,
it breaks us down.
I brought you something I made
especially for our wedding.
These are Olivella
shell beads.
Today is the beginning
of the acorn festival.
Chumash. We'll all
be celebrating
when we get to
the far away place.
( horns honking )
All right! Okay!
Ah. I'm so--
I'm so thirsty, Benny.
Shhh. I brought you something
very special to drink.
No-- no.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Please, I don't wanna
go on myself.
I'm going to make all
your suffering go away.
No more pain, no more fear.
We'll be done with all
of that forever.
( all yelling, cheering )
What are you talking about?
What's happening?
I'm not-- I don't want
to go anywhere with you.
I don't wanna go
anywhere with you.
( laughter )
- ...pain go away.
- Stop it! Stop it.
Please drink it.
I can't waste anymore.
( horns honking )
( groans )
No! No! Fuck you!
Wolfman it, eat the bullet!
( horns honking )
Guys! Guys,
no open containers.
I'm still on probation.
Shit. Hart!
I'm sorry, it all
happened so fast.
Help! Help!
- Hey, big man.
- Yo.
Do up these windows, man.
Let's hot box this
motherfucker right now.
Help! Help!
Wait! Help!
- Yeah.
- Whoa. Uh-uh.
Did I not just stay
up all night
writing your fucking paper?
He gets caught with
this shit in his piss,
he could fucking
lose his scholarship.
Help! Wait!
( yells )
No! Penelope.
No, no, don't leave me.
No, don't go without me!
Don't leave me alone!
This wasn't the way it's
supposed to happen!
( sobbing )
Magoo, move the
fuck out the way!
Way too sick, Nathan!
Oh, my God.
This is awesome.
- Right.
- Unreal.
( all talking at once )
- Wow, this is amazing.
- So beautiful.
This is not bad.
Look at this place.
Hey, Nathan.
Is that where they
found everything?
Yeah, it's a
Chumash burial site.
My grandfather,
he made the bulldozer stop.
Told everybody to just
leave it alone.
That fresh hut,
me and my brother built it.
I thought maybe we'd have the
ceremony over there tonight.
Nice. This place
is incredible.
There's a lot of history here.
So that's where
they're buried?
Uh, Nathan, you don't mind that
I brought my roommates too?
- Hi, I'm Roxanne.
- Look at him.
- Hi, I'm Carly.
- Hi.
Nathan doesn't mind at all.
Yeah, no.
Okay, guys, listen up.
Listen up!
No beer spills, no bong water,
no sex stains--
( all talking at once )
No, no. Moose!
No, no, no.
My bedroom, guys.
This is my bed.
Guys, seriously.
Out, man, this is not
happening in my bedroom.
- Get out!
- You-- you get out!
Come on, baby, come on.
Are you gonna come in,
or you gonna go out? Bye.
( giggles )
I am not playing around!
- Oh, great.
- Get out!
How the hell do you already have
your shirt off, really?
Is this your bedroom, Nathan?
Who's gonna share with you?
Oh, Nathan likes
the Indian girl.
You probably want her
to share with you, right?
Good luck with that, buddy.
The hell, Nathan.
This is not okay. You can not
just show up like this.
I'm here for a class project,
and I have just as much
right to be here as you do.
That's not true, Nathan.
I have Father's permission.
You can't have
strangers over here.
And he's entrusted me with
overseeing this place.
Besides, I'm dealing with some
really heavy shit right now!
Why are you freaking
out so much?
Why is your hair all wet?
You been crying, Benny?
You need to go, Nathan.
Is that blood on your shoes?
Yeah, it was a raccoon.
They're pests, okay?
Just pack up your college
friends and get out of here
before I have to--
( chimes ring )
That's Dani.
Olivella shell beads.
Chumash. You're Chumash.
My father's a
direct descendant.
His ancestors were
Santa Rose Islanders.
My mother's British.
Were they part
of the 1824 revolt
against those missionaries and
those fucking Conquistadors?
You know Chumash women
had to practice abortion
because of what those Spanish
bastards did to them.
Have you relearned
your language?
Why are you looking
at me like that?
Calm down, calm down.
It's just a bunch
of fucking kids.
Just think about
something else.
Uh, Charlie Brown, yeah.
It's just that a guy trapped
in his own insecurities.
Failed homosexuality.
He's a loveable loser
with aimless determination
and hope.
If it had been me, I certainly
would've fucked Lucy.
I guess Charlie was too busy
sucking Linus' dick, huh?
You really think it's a good
idea to fuck your therapist?
You see this?
What is this?
PONCHO: Probably a raccoon.
Then where's the
fucking raccoon, huh?
Raccoons don't bury
their own dead.
Does this look like it
came from a raccoon?
( background chatter )
BENNY: She's perfect.
Careful, babe.
Aw, shit. I forgot my book.
I'll be back.
- Okay.
- Coming through, professor!
DELGADO: Smash it, bash it,
roll it on the floor.
Wrap it around the bedpost,
roll it in the door.
Excuse me, that's my car
you're leaning on.
Who are you?
I'm here with my students.
Yeah, we're on a field trip.
Do you mind?
Field trip?
Hey, man. That's my book.
You took my book
out of the car?
What kind of field trip?
Look, man, can I just
get my book back?
Ain't gonna do
you any good.
Those kids,
they look at books,
they don't give
a fuck about anything.
That's private property.
( alarm chirps )
Stop listening to your head.
Go back and cook the gak!
Leave them alone!
Hey, boys.
We're going in au naturale.
Tonight's gonna
be legendary.
Go long!
( yells )
Hey, studly, get in the water,
you motherfucker!
( laughs )
Get in here.
Rough night?
Little bit.
Your ancestors played grab ass
in this very same surf.
( all yelling and screaming )
MOJO: (VO) You're amazing.
Turn around.
I wanna see your doggie.
I think about getting more
work done on my dolphin.
What do you think?
( overlapping dialogue )
Hey, you okay?
I thought you were gonna have
more work done on your dolphin.
Am I anything like
you imagined me?
No shit.
Wait, this is your fucking
webcam porno princess?
What's he talking about, Tami?
I'm an idiot.
What is it you exactly do
on the Internet?
Chill out. It's no big deal.
We're paying our
way through school.
Sure beats working
at the Starbucks.
Wait, you guys are doing
porn out of our room?
Not on my bed, right?
I keep my bible
underneath that pillow.
So wait a minute, you're
streaming live Internet porn
to the Delta Gamma house?
Sandee, I shouldn't
have said anything. I--
Sandee? That your porn name?
It's not actual sex.
We do it into our laptops.
It's not a big deal.
And you're the little pervert
that's jerking to these girls?
- Hey.
- There's no need--
Leave Mojo alone.
Nobody came to Mojo catch it
for stroking to the
and the Delta Gamma
whore-pedoes over here.
Eat my pussy, you midget twink
with chunky ankles.
What the fuck is a twink?
You stupid, hooker,
Barbie sorority skanks.
You're fucking dumb!
I'm done.
This is so stupid.
- Be nice, all right?
- Fuck that!
So what's next, Sandee?
Do some lap dancing
at the Spearmint Rhino?
Put up some escort ads
on craigslist?
I'm not fucking spending
the weekend with
these stupid whores.
Guys, just come on. Stop.
What would Jesus do?
Jesus wouldn't have you biting
each other's titties
in the ocean over there.
So you can sleep
with your students,
but yet, you condemn me.
You're of age, okay?
Socrates slept
with his students.
- Oh, Jesus.
- 'Cept they were all boys.
Stop fucking looking
at my man's penis then.
Yeah, who gives a fuck if I'm
creating a porn empire?
Okay, I'm kicking ass in
business and marketing.
Yeah, whore!
And the last time
that I checked,
you couldn't even treat me
to a day of Bacara
on your salary.
Qu pasa! Pretty great, huh?
Fucking Christ,
I'm out of here.
Could you please not use
the lord's name in vain?
SQUIRREL: Come on, bitch!
She's going to hell.
I gotta deal with this?
- This is cool.
- What's going on?
NATHAN: Guys, we can--
Squirrel, come back!
Who brought these
stupid skanks?
Walk your fat ass
out of here!
I'm not mad about my bed!
Hurry up! Moose!
I'm fucking trying.
NATHAN: If you come back,
I'll let you use the bed again!
Hey! What're you
doing behind there?
Why are you lurking
behind the bushes?
Hey! Wait!
What're you, retarded?
I'm talking to you!
Don't you fucking
walk away from me!
Hey! Hey!
I know you.
I fucking know you!
You're the creeper from
the party, aren't you?
Are you spying on us?
Spying on us down there?
This is--
Nathan is my brother.
This is my property!
You're the weirdo who
lives in the bungalow.
I heard about you and your
imaginary fiancs. Mmm-hmm.
- What did you just say?
- You heard me, weirdo!
Were you spying on those
sorority skanks down there?
Pervy Man looking
for a new bride, huh?
I-- I was watching birds.
Like fucking hell you were.
Just cop to your
pervy ass shit.
Were you peeving
on the guys?
- Yo--
- Oh, shit.
You're a fucking
queer-puff, aren't you?
You're a fucking queer.
You like to fucking
touch yourself
and look at little boys,
fucking down low--
- You be quiet!
- Hey, asshole!
That's my girl
you're talking to.
Babe! Babe! It's the fucking
creeper from the party, dude!
I caught him with his
hands in his pants!
I did not have my hands in my
pants, I was bird watching!
- Like hell you were--
- Bird watching, you liar!
Shut up.
Shut up.
Don't you do it.
No, no, you know
what will happen?
Oh, no.
We don't need trouble!
Poncho tell you!
You go back to cook!
You know what happen!
You listen to Poncho.
Shut the fuck up.
Listen to Poncho!
- Shhh.
- Leave these kids alone!
- Don't be a fool.
- Shut up. Shut up.
- Shut up.
- I love you.
You're my friend.
Hey, dickless, my boyfriend's
gonna fuck you up!
Get him, babe.
Who the fuck is that?
Is that your gay
uncle over there?
No, no, no, no.
Go away.
No, no, Delgado.
They're not real!
MOOSE: Fuck!
They look pretty
real to me, Benny.
Let me guess, huh?
Uncle Delgado pitches
and you catch, huh? Right?
You fucking used to touch him
when you were little, right?
You fucking turned him,
didn't you?
This family's fucked, babe!
You better shut that cunt up,
or I'm gonna fuck
start her head.
What the fuck did
you just say to me?
Hold your fucking mouth.
What the fuck did
you just say to me?
- Babe, babe--
- Get his ass!
Please, don't--
don't do anything!
( all yelling )
- Settle down! Fuck!
- You fucking queer pup!
She's got a big mouth,
but she's not fucking kidding.
He's gonna fuck you in the ass
and he's not even gay--
( all yelling )
The fuck you do to my face!
No, no, stop, stop!
Fucking freak!
( groaning, yelling )
Fucking asshole!
( yells, groans )
Fucking creep!
- Moose?
- Yeah, baby?
Baby! Baby, you look awful!
You okay?
SQUIRREL: Fuck! Wake up!
The fuck are you on, dude?
Moose, my god, wake up!
Great. What're you gonna do?
Shoot us?
Great idea, fucktard!
There's eight more of
us coming up the path!
That really just happened?
What're we going to do now?
Everybody's just pissed off.
Dani, you all right?
( engine starts, tires screech )
I can't believe her mouth.
Damn, Moose and
Squirrel booking out.
Moose! Hey!
Everything happens
for a reason, okay?
Can we just go back
to having fun?
Yeah, that depends on Nathan's
Internet connection.
All right, Doug.
Enough, okay?
If you keep this up,
I'm leaving.
Then leave.
I actually had feelings
for you, Tami.
You never told me about
any of this shit.
They're dead.
I'm gonna go clean up my cook
and we get the fuck out of here.
Suit yourself.
I've got a wedding
to prepare.
( soft music plays )
You okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
HART: What a slut.
( soft background chatter )
I do remember the first time
I noticed that I had leg hair.
( keys rattling )
Take me for a ride.
I'm just leaving.
Where are we going?
What would Tami or Sandee
say about that?
She's just my roommate.
She's not really my friend.
Oh, really?
Not friends?
You ever been with
a redhead before?
- No, I haven't.
- Professor!
You're not leaving, are you?
I actually was leaving, yeah.
Come on, it's not even dark yet
and everybody's leaving.
Oh, wow.
This is priceless.
You are Professor fucking Nash.
You're not gonna leave
'cause of my stoner friend.
That's not why, man.
Look, hang out.
Come on, Professor.
It'd sure mean
a lot to me if you stay.
You see that face?
Come on, Professor.
All right,
let's do this ceremony.
I'll find you later.
( whirring )
All right, let's do it.
Go talk to her.
I'm gonna.
Take her for a walk.
( phone rings out )
You know, it's sunset.
Girls eat that shit up.
( phone ringing )
I got voicemail again.
Fuck me.
I gotta tear all
this shit down.
Get out while you can.
Come on.
Come on, D.
We can talk when you
take it all down.
Play it smart.
Hey, don't you agree?
"Snoopy Come Home"
lacks the clarity and focus
that made "A Boy Named
Charlie Brown" so endearing?
Oh, no. No, no.
Stop looking at us.
Don't-- don't go there.
Tears us down, rip us up.
It does you no good.
- Let it go!
- Shut up.
Shut up!
I don't want
to hear you anymore!
You understand?
I don't wanna hear anything.
Don't wanna feel nothing!
PONCHO: Don't go there.
It's bad juju!
I'm gonna kill every last one of
those college motherfuckers.
( pop music plays )
( background chatter )
Hey, party Hart-y,
what's your magic number?
What're you going on about?
What's your magic
number, huh?
DANI: Oh, you wanna
play that game?
HART: You want to?
I want tequila.
Sure you wanna get
into that so soon?
If you're not wasted,
the day is.
Well there's a look into
the future waiting to happen.
Well, my magic number is zero.
I'm still a virgin
and I'm proud of it.
I could fix that.
You and your technical
virgin thing is such shit.
Fingers and tongues count.
They so do not count, okay?
ROXANNE: Do you count anal?
How about anything
under six inches?
You got a ticket last weekend
for giving road head.
So you can't even
start judging me.
- It was awesome.
- Hey, enough.
She's a virgin.
Respect your friend.
Thank you.
( mumbling )
( grunts )
Look what I got.
Should we fill up and
start the ceremony, or what?
Nathan, that Jimsonweed?
Yeah. We're gonna do
this right, aren't we?
HART: Yup, game time.
I even have a real
ceremonial Chumash bowl
we dug up right here.
Not on my watch, man.
I can't let my students
drink Jimsonweed.
I'm sorry, man.
Nathan, I've known kids who
O.D.'d and died on that shit.
It's toxic.
Look, there's no way to figure
out what's a fatal dose
or what's survival.
- I know what I'm doing.
- Too risky, man.
What if we just
take a little bit?
Why don't we just go with
what we know, all right?
I got a few of these
bad boys here.
We go up to that brush hut,
we clambake--
We gotta have the tea!
This is the whole problem
with our society.
We've done away with all ritual,
with all ceremony.
We just do whatever
we want now.
On our own, whenever.
Do you even know
what that stuff can do?
The Chumash stopped using
Jimsonweed because it kills.
Fucking technology!
There you are, Steve Jobs!
You're not talking to
anybody, kids. Nobody!
You know what, hey.
The ceremony,
it's still important.
There must be some
herbal tea up there.
Let's make the best
of what we got.
We're here.
I'm sorry, man.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
( grunting )
Oh, god. The girl.
The girl, the girl, the girl!
Where's the girl?
( loud scream )
Whoa, fucking skunk, man!
That stinks!
Oh, my God, you stink.
It's not funny,
you stoner a-hole!
Come on, come on.
We'll get you cleaned up.
The skunk was at my feet!
The thing totally got me!
- I effing hate this place!
- We'll clean you up.
I feel so disgusting.
I'm gonna smell like this
forever, I swear.
It comes off.
I smell terrible!
I smell absolutely dreadful.
This is the worst smell ev--
Oh, my God, it's disgusting!
Need any help?
( muffled arguing )
Use some of that
antibacterial soap
under the sink if you need it.
Smell like this forever!
I should've stayed home!
I knew it!
I shouldn't have come here!
I don't even know why!
I smell so--
( sobbing )
My mom won't let me in the
house smelling like this!
Why'd god make skunks?
I don't like skunks,
I'm sorry.
But, Jesus,
why did you make skunks?
They smell so bad!
Carly? The tea's ready.
NATHAN: You almost done?
Carly, you all right?
( inaudible dialogue )
-- in there too,
it helps to get it off.
You almost done?
Okay, well, I'll just meet
you back out there, okay?
I'm gonna go!
This is sage.
They use the smoke
to purify each other.
Pure is boring.
All set.
How's Carly doing?
I think she's
a little pissed off.
My gosh, my hair still reeks.
My god! My god!
( screaming )
( screams )
Oh, my god! Go away!
( screaming )
( loud thump )
I think I did that
with my mind.
The spirit of
Grandmother Momoy awaits.
Professor, you're the elder.
The elder.
( laughs )
Ah, Jesus, Nathan.
What kind of tea is this?
Just tea. Just tea, guys.
I swear.
( coughs )
It's bitter.
ROXANNE: What is that?
We were out of herbal tea,
so it's Lipton's.
Need a refill on that.
- ( clattering )
- Oh, god damn it, Mojo!
So sorry, mate.
I didn't see.
Great, no I have to go
brew a whole other pot!
No, don't go make another pot.
It's all right, just get the old
tequila worm up your bum,
everyone's as high as a kite.
Mescal has the worm,
not tequila you dumb ass.
It's very funny, all right?
Nathan, it's all right.
Don't worry about it.
You can use the tequila.
Good substitute.
Shaman don't drink tequila.
They do tonight.
Easy there, killer.
Come on.
I beamed it out there and boom!
She just hit the glass.
Only thing you're
doing is fucking up!
Shit, Mr.--
( laughs )
( echoing )
Professor, you--
Jesus. Look at him.
Look at the state of him.
He's fucking mashed.
You're high as a kite,
Here, Roxi, you have it.
She's fucking mashed too!
Look at her!
What the fuck are
you two smoking?
MOJO: Way-ba-we-bah-wee-wah!
( muffled screaming, grunting )
Oh! Come on!
( grunting )
You're my buddy, Nathan.
You are.
Guess all this worked
out pretty well, huh?
Too bad Moose and
Squirrel took off.
Yeah, their loss.
Think I should go for it?
- Hey.
- Hey.
( screaming, grunting )
Come on!
Come on!
( screaming )
Die already, bitch!
( door opens )
Die already, bitch!
Hey! What're you doing?
What're you doing?
( groans )
At least you tried
to stop me, huh, Benny?
You and your
fucking death wish!
No, no, no, no.
Take a look!
Take a look!
Look at her fucking face!
Ah, she's done!
Yeah, come on, die.
Die! Die!
All right, she's done!
Stop! No!
( gasps )
Oh, you didn't
have to do that!
Okay, now for
the rest of them!
( gasps )
Nice night for a walk.
( echoing )
- You wanna go for a walk?
- Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
- ( Tami makes eerie noises )
- It's lighter that way.
Yeah, it's dark.
Where you going, pal?
( tribal chanting )
Ah! Whiny little bitch!
He's my brother!
And not the Chumash girl!
Did you say Chumash girl?
Dani. She's my fianc.
Dani. Chumash Dani.
From the fucking university?
That bitch who killed
my wife and son?
I don't know
anything about that.
- Fear not.
- ( laughter )
Oh shit!
That was great.
Yeah, did you think
it was the were-bear?
It is her.
No, no, don't.
( loud whack )
PONCHO: You promised me
you wouldn't go after her.
You promised not
to revenge me!
I didn't go after
anybody, Poncho.
That bitch came to me.
It was a were-bear.
You started it.
( exhales )
( tribal chanting )
Are you okay?
( screams )
( gasping, sobbing )
( yelling, gagging )
( screams )
( screams )
- The fuck is going on?
- Are you okay?
( sobbing )
Nathan, you stupid ass.
You gave them Jimsonweed?
No, no, I didn't.
I gave them tea.
- It was regular tea.
- Stop lying!
- Look at them. They're--
- Roxi, are you okay?
They're all geeked up
on Jimsonweed!
It was tea, guys!
I swear! I wouldn't do that!
The only ones that had it.
DANI: We have to get them
to a hospital now!
- Roxanne, you're okay.
- I swear to God.
You're okay.
Come on. Okay.
Come on, get up.
You got it. You're okay.
- ( sobbing )
- There you go. Come on.
Where's Nash?
- Guys, where's Nash?
- Stop it!
- Nash!
- Professor!
( hears shouting )
( tribal chanting )
Ooooooh, wait, wait, wait.
Tami, hey, um.
I don't want to lie to you.
I'm shitting here.
Please don't laugh at me.
I just don't--
Come on, Mojo.
We have to go in.
- It's scary.
- Yeah.
Maybe I'll get lucky.
All right.
Just for a little bit.
Let's get her inside.
We'll go back for Nash.
( chatter )
Look at me.
Look at me.
There you go.
You're going to be okay.
Get the phone.
Who the hell took the phone?
Oh, crap.
I always keep my
iPhone right here.
And my keys.
Who the hell took my keys?
Oh, my God.
Guys! Guys, get in here!
Carly? Carly.
Oh, she hit her head.
She okay? Shit.
- There. This.
- Oh, shit.
Who did this to her?
Oh, my God.
Is she breathing, Hart?
No. I don't kno--
I don't know all these people!
Did you give her the tea?
No, I told you
I wouldn't do that!
You guys,
I can't find a pulse.
Call an ambulance.
Do it now.
( grunting )
Get these bugs off of me!
Get these bugs off of me!
- Nobody's got a damn phone?
- Dump out all the packs!
My cell's in the front pocket
of my book bag! Get it!
Got it!
Get these bugs off of me!
I can't find anything.
Get these bugs off of me!
Where is it? Hart?
It's not in here, man.
It's not in here.
There's no phones.
Where are all the phones?
- Somebody must've taken them.
- Who would do that?
Do you see any
god damn phones?
Off of me!
Get them off of me!
There's nothing on you!
Get them off of me!
Take her in the bathroom
and make her puke!
How am I supposed to do that?
Stick you fingers
down her throat!
Are you fucking kidding me?
( all arguing )
I can't get Carly to breathe.
Come help me get her up.
- I got her.
- Help me get her up.
I'm taking these two
straight to emergency.
Grab Roxanne.
Do you get it? There's no
phones and no car keys!
Somebody took all of them!
- It's okay. No, there's noth--
- Get them off of me!
I'm sorry.
This is a
really stupid idea.
Proper explorers.
A fucking London dungeon,
isn't it?
( raccoon growls )
- What's that? Shit.
- ( laughs )
It was small.
No, it wasn't.
Look at the fucking size of it.
- You're such a baby.
- It was fucking massive.
Gimmie the light,
I will show you.
- It's mine.
- Give it to me, I--
( laughs )
You know, I--
It's kind of embarrassing.
I've never been in
a real relationship.
( gunshot, screaming )
Open your mouth, Roxanne.
Come on, open it up.
Here you go.
Drink it. Drink it.
There we go.
Let's get it up.
Good, good,
get it all out.
Is this your brother's
sick idea of a joke?
I don't know
who's doing this.
Keep drinking,
there you go.
Oh, Jesus.
Just get a little
in the toilet?
I'm going for help.
Keep flushing out her
system with fresh water.
Don't you dare leave us.
Just stay put. Do not leave
this cottage no matter what.
I'm coming back with help.
Okay? I promise.
Fuck! She's seizing.
Come on, Roxi.
Come on.
Roxanne, it's okay.
( sound muffled )
It's okay.
( gasping )
Gotta get me--
I'm suffocating.
Dani, no.
Stay with me, Dani.
Dani, it's all in your head.
You're having
a panic attack.
Please, Dani, I need you.
I need you here right now.
( hyperventilating )
It's all in your head, okay?
Just breathe.
I need you, Dani.
( gasping )
- Please. Help me.
- It's okay, it's okay.
It's all in your head,
okay, Dani?
You're having
a panic attack.
Dani, it's all in your head.
( gasping )
It's okay, it's okay.
You can breathe. Okay?
You're fine.
I need you right now.
I need you with me
right now, okay?
Just breathe, breathe.
- It's all in your head.
- Okay. Okay.
Okay, okay.
MOJO: This way.
That's Moose's car.
Moose's car.
( shotgun cocks )
( muffled gasp )
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
MOJO: Shhh.
The fuck's going on?
( muffled )
Oh, my God.
( screams )
Shhh, shhh.
Okay, okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
( knocking )
You're fine now, okay?
It's all right.
Is that someone knocking?
( knocking )
Oh, my God!
Help me! Help me,
help me get her up!
- Okay, okay.
- ( yells )
Come on. It's okay.
It's okay.
What happened?
What happened?
Oh, fuck.
What happened?
Where's Moose?
Who did this to you?
( crash )
I fucking see you!
Benny! Benny was
standing right there.
- You sure?
- Yeah, he went that way.
He's going in the kitchen!
Come on!
- Let me in, Nathan.
- Like hell!
What happened to Squirrel?
Tell me what
happened to Squirrel!
Don't worry about that.
Come on. This is very important.
You're in danger!
Lock the door!
Do not let him in!
I won't.
- Where is he?
- Front door! Front door!
Come on, Nathan!
Let me in!
- I gotta take Dani home!
- Calm down, Benny!
- Get lost you freak!
- Patio! Patio!
Come on, come on.
Get up, get up. Get up.
I'm okay.
Come on, man!
We don't have time
to discuss this!
I am dealing with an
extremely complex situation!
That fucking Jimsonweed, Benny!
You're fucking high again!
Who took care of you
when Mom ran off, huh?
How many times did
I protect you from Father?
Who's protecting
you right now?
This what you
call protecting me?
You chill the fuck out, man!
Benny, don't you do it!
- Benny!
- ( screams )
Nathan! Nathan, come here!
Come on!
Come on, man! Come on!
Benny, calm down!
Come on, Nathan!
( both panting )
- ( screams )
- Shhh, shhh.
- Shh, shhh.
- ( muffled gasping )
( screams )
Mojo-- Mojo, you have to go.
No, no, go!
( coughing, gasping )
You ain't that Chumash bitch.
( gasping )
Come on, Nathan!
Come on, man!
Benny, shut the fuck up!
Open up!
Dani! Dani!
We have to get you ready
for the ceremony
before Delgado comes,
come on!
Need to go get that shit
out of your system, Benny!
Come on, man!
Come on! Come on!
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- Oh, god.
- Its' gonna be okay, all right?
SQUIRREL: You dickless creeper.
So help me, god,
I'm gonna fuck you up.
You like to ass fuck, perv?
Gonna strap on a 12-inch
crinkly dick,
and I'm gonna plow you raw,
you fucking asswipe.
Gonna rip you apart.
- Ow!
- Like that?
( groaning )
- ( loud bang )
- ( screams )
- Give her to me!
- Calm the fuck down, Benny!
Go out the window.
I need her!
All right, just run.
- ( screams )
- Dani!
Dani! Dani!
Benny! you son of a bitch!
I'll fucking kill you!
Shh, Dani.
No, stay with me.
Stay with me.
God, look at you.
You're so perfect.
Take your tea.
Go on.
Drink it down so we can
be together forever.
Dani, Dani,
you'll find me to be
a very loving
and caring husband.
( tribal chanting )
( loud snap, yells )
( yelling )
( tribal chanting )
( growls )
"Tonight, I take a wife.
We will lose
ourselves together
on the trail in
the far away place."
Son of a bitch, Benny!
( loud grunting )
Where would you do it?
Where would you go?
It's a place--
It's someplace private.
( tribal language spoken )
The cooler.
( loud grunting )
All right, college boy!
What the fuck? I live here!
What do you want from me!
What's your major
at the university
of casual sex and beer,
college boy?
How many bong hits
can you huff?
You and that Chumash bitch
are disease-ridden vermin!
Hey, look.
You tell me where she is,
and I'll let you leave, huh?
Everyone's here
for the ceremony.
( tribal voices echo )
And so you will be
joined in the forever.
( yelling )
( yells )
She blew a 2.3, walked
away without a scratch.
How many fucking Jell-O
shots does it take
to blow a 2.3, huh?
Bitch was going
the wrong way on the 101.
Huh? Where is she?
DELGADO: Tell me!
Tell me where she is!
Come on!
That where you're
keeping her? Come on!
Come on, Nathan.
Get up. Go.
I am so sick of you
getting your freak on, Benny!
( groans )
Oh, God.
What the fuck are you?
Fucked up as usual.
- Fucking bitch.
- She's my wife.
I love you, Benny.
You saved me.
And we'll be
together forever.
Forever and ever and ever.
( weakly )
I'm so happy.
You must wait.
This trail is not meant for
those who stand in their shadow.
Please don't leave me alone.
I-- I don't want to be alone.
Please, I-- don't
leave me alone.
( echoes )
I don't want to be alone.
Please. Don't leave me alone.
I don't want to be alone.
( wheezes )
You finally got your wish.
Hart. Hart.
Man, I'm--
Kill that motherfucker.
Adios, sweetheart.
( gunshot )
( both grunting )
Son of a bitch!
( yells )
Son of a bitch!
( whimpers )
- Dani. Dani?
- ( gasps )
( horns honk, tires screech )
Dani, wake up.
Dani, wake up!
( gasping )
We're gonna get you help.
Come on, stay with me, Dani.
Stay with me.
- Dani!
- ( gasping )
- Dani! Dani!
- There's too many cars!
Too many cars!
It's not real, okay?
You're hallucinating.
Stop it! Stop it!
Dani, this is not real!
Dani, Dani, look at me!
- Look at me.
- Too many cars!
Stop it!
( tires screech, horns honk )
They're on me!
Please, make them stop!
Get back!
( horns honk )
Get away from me!
Okay, okay.
You can't help me.
No one can help me now.
Give me the gun.
Get away!
Get away from me!
I want you to put the gun down
now, okay? This isn't you.
This is me!
I'm a killer!
Now calm down. You're gonna
hand me the gun now.
I killed them, Nathan.
I murdered them.
( loud crash )
That was an accident.
I don't wanna
be here anymore.
Put the gun down
right now, okay?
I don't wanna be here anymore.
I'm gonna take that gun away
from you right now.
- I don't wanna be here--
- Everything's good.
I don't want this anymore.
I know.
I don't want this anymore.
I'm right here
with you, okay?
I don't want this anymore.
I know.
- ( sobbing )
- It's okay.
It's okay, okay?
Gonna get you well, okay?
Okay? I got you.
- I'm sorry.
- I got you.
- That was an accident.
- I'm sorry.
- ( sobbing )
- I got you, okay?
NATHAN: Open your eyes, Dani.
That's good.
You're gonna be okay, all right?
Everything's gonna be okay.
We got her back!
Let's get her out of here now!
Everything's gonna be fine.
Stay with me.
You did good, Nathan.
Look at me.
You did good.
You know that thing you wanted?
Rites of passage?
You have it now.
All right, guys.
We gotta load and go.
PONCHO: Get up, you idiot!
Rise and shine!
[heavy metal music]
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