Roboshark (2015) Movie Script

1
We lost the target.
What do you mean, you lost the target?
Come on, boys. Check your stats.
Which arrays are you looking at?
I think it's in our baffles, sir.
What was that?
Something in the propulsor, sir.
Maneuvering confirms.
Something just hit the propulsor.
They can't answer any bells.
Officer of the Deck, sound general
quarters. Battle stations.
General quarters!
Battle stations, battle stations!
Helmsman, bring the pump jets online.
Aye, aye, pump jets online, Captain.
All right, bring us about.
Let's find out what the hell just hit us.
Whatever it is, it isn't friendly.
Sonar, let's go active.
Petty Officer Schneider, give me one ping.
One ping, sir.
Officer of the Deck,
flood tubes one and two.
Flood tubes one and two.
Aye, flooding tubes one and two.
Sir, we have contact.
Sierra One bearing zero-two-zero-zero.
That's it.
Officer of the Deck, target Sierra One.
Aye, aye, sir.
What is that? Enemy sub?
It is way too small for that, sir.
- It's coming right at us, sir.
- Fire torpedoes.
Sonar, I need targeting.
- Come on, boys.
- It's moving too fast.
Take your best guess and fire!
Aye, aye, sir.
We have contact. Starboard side.
Emergency blow! Plane, full up, angle!
Rescue efforts have been coordinated, sir,
but it's not looking good.
The Orca was my first command, Captain.
What's the bearing of the target?
Bearing zero-seven-niner, sir.
Seattle.
Starbucks, Space Needle,
hipsters, Microsoft,
Nirvana.
Sir?
We'll make our stand in Seattle.
Honey, do you want some pancakes?
I'm making pancakes.
No, I'm just gonna grab a coffee.
The guys are outside already.
They want me to go to a stand-up
in Bellevue on the snowstorm.
Like they have never seen snow
in Seattle before.
Of course, you don't mind...
That's what I'm talking about, honey.
Snow in Seattle, I mean,
that is some serious anchor material.
Right, Melody?
I hope they're thinking that way,
but I'm not sure, Rick.
Melody, can you put that down
for half a second?
Melody, hello. Hello.
What? Oh, sorry.
Do you want some breakfast?
Yeah. You always overdo the bacon.
I do not.
Twenty minutes, 400 degrees.
I make perfect bacon.
Yes, you do make the perfect bacon.
Hello.
Hello. Melody.
Melody, hello.
Sorry. God!
What are you even looking at?
It's so fake.
Why do you waste your time
watching this nonsense?
I'm not, Mom.
Alicia just DM'd me
'cause it's right near here.
We'd better look out
for a giant airplane-eating shark, huh?
That's not what I said.
Come on, you can't take everything you see
on the Internet seriously. You know that.
No, really, Mom?
That's why we have the news,
and your mother,
guardian of truth and democracy.
Yeah, right. Covering snow
doesn't make me Barbara Walters.
Christiane Amanpour is more my type.
- Good luck, Mom! Go for it!
- Thanks.
Give them hell, honey.
- Eat up! We're leaving in five.
- Yeah, okay.
How's it going, guys?
Good, good. Louie got breakfast.
Nice!
- My turn tomorrow though, right?
- Right.
Trust Trish,
the best Channel 55 news anchor we got.
Don't jinx it. Last I checked, we were
doing a weather stand-up in Bellevue.
Or we could go rogue,
find a cool story and blow Dan away.
- Yeah, remember last time?
- Yeah.
We all thought the mayor's brother-in-law
was shaking down a strip club.
You thought that.
Yeah, and he wasn't.
Guys, I don't want to get
a bad reputation for being trouble.
I just want Dan to feel like I'm reliable
and not a loose cannon.
Let's just nail the snow job.
And that's how you get promoted, son.
Don't rock the boat.
Or we could go cover
the viral video "Shark Eats Plane."
It's amazing.
The shark comes out of the water,
grabs the plane,
plunges it down to the depths.
It looks real. The
animators did a good job.
Yeah, Melody showed me that this morning.
And that is exactly everything
that's wrong with the news today.
It's, like, totally fake and ridiculous.
Maybe debunking it could be a story.
Hey, check that out.
What's going on over there?
That's a lot of firepower.
Yeah, maybe they're bringing in
the big guns for the snow problems.
I'm sure it's just an exercise.
- You're calling Dan?
- Yeah, I am.
Hey, Dan, it's Trish.
Yeah, good. You?
Yeah, good.
Listen, I wanna run a story by you.
Five.
No, of course. But I just...
Have you heard of any naval exercises
going on in the Sound?
Yes, sir.
You can count on me. Okay, bye.
He's totally into it.
No, he said everyone's talking
about the snow,
and we need to get to Bellevue
and talk about the snow.
- What did he really say?
- Two words, "strip club."
Come on! One time, one time.
Okay, forget what Dan said.
What would Melody say?
- Let's do it.
- Yeah!
- Hey, Maria. How's it going?
- Nice to see you, boss.
- Jack, yo.
- Hey, Rick.
Morning, Phil.
Good night, brother.
What's the deal with the
outflow breach indicator on S14?
It's now your problem.
- Good luck.
- Thanks, Phil.
Dispatch.
Dispatch.
Hello?
Come on, guys. Dispatch.
Okay, let's park this
beast right about here,
right across the street
from the best coffee in town.
In your humble opinion.
It's in all in the grind, man.
Can we please not have another
what's-the-best-coffee-in-Seattle
conversation?
What do you think they're doing?
We should get it.
You know, get something on camera.
Yeah, let's do it.
Man, come on!
It's Dan. Is this guy psychic, or what?
It's a company phone.
He's probably tracking it.
Seriously?
Yeah, Big Brother, girl.
Hi, Dan.
No, we just saw...
No, wait, listen.
I think I could be onto something here.
No, just listen.
Why do you think a whole lot of U.S. Navy
have just shown up in Seattle?
Well...
No, there's been no report on it.
That's why you haven't heard about it.
Don't you think we should find out?
About the shark.
You know, it could be something to do
with the whole mutant shark thing.
Shit!
Mutant shark.
You know, the video, it's gone viral.
The "Shark Eats Plane."
Dan?
Dan, hello?
Thanks, guys.
He just hung up on me.
Why did you make me say "mutant shark"?
Yeah, I don't think that's
a good word for it.
Yeah, you should've used
like "killer shark,"
or "great white," not "mutant."
Yeah, it's starting to sound like
one of those Syfy movies.
Anyway, coffee's on me.
Junction T41? What the hell?
- Dispatch, get somebody out to T41.
- You got it.
T41?
A complete overhaul
of junction T41 last year.
Dispatch. Yeah, it's Rick here.
Get someone over to junction T41
straight away.
Hey. Triple venti half-sweet
nonfat caramel macchiato.
Yeah, okay.
Hey. It's my favorite.
- What are you drinking?
- A cinnamon latte.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Hey, honey.
Hey, Rick.
I think I just did something really stupid.
They're never gonna give me
this anchor spot.
What? What happened?
I just pitched a mutant shark story to Dan.
You know, 'cause of that video
Melody was looking at.
Mutant shark?
Honey, wasn't that on Syfy last week?
Yeah, exactly.
- Sorry, Trish.
- This is my chance.
It's make or break. It's my story.
You know, I'm 38,
destined to be the weather
girl until I'm 40,
when they replace me
with some young, hot thing.
Dan doesn't take me seriously, you know.
He doesn't even listen to me.
Are you listening?
Rick?
Rick? Rick?
Hello. Rick, are you listening?
Sorry, honey, it's just that
we've got outages and alerts
all over the Magnolia area
like I've never seen.
Magnolia?
We're in Discovery Park.
The place is crawling with Navy.
You think there could be a connection?
Yeah, maybe if we declared war on Seattle.
Stop it, I'm serious.
Honey, it's just the snow and the ice.
The pipes are probably frozen, okay?
Our system isn't designed to handle this.
Honey, I gotta go.
Dispatch, talk to me.
Fine.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my gosh!
It's the plane from the video.
It's the plane from the video!
You guys...
Oh, my God!
GoPro video of the week. I got it.
Cool.
Come on, upload. Upload.
Come on, dude.
What happened to the biker dude?
I'm fine.
Stop with the oxygen.
Louie, you all right?
Hey, yeah, I'm okay.
How about you?
You should go see a hospital.
No, they checked me out already. I'm fine.
You sure?
Oh, my God!
Hey, Erik, come on inside, okay?
Let's walk and talk.
- Trish...
- We'll just take a beat outside...
Trish, we've been reassigned to Veronica.
I'm sorry.
Come over here and give me a hand.
Trish, what happened?
You look like you got hit by a truck.
I'm fine, okay? I was here.
This is my story.
Really? Dan said that
you were covering snow in Bellevue.
Erik, Louie, we're on in five! Let's roll.
Three, two.
Thanks, John.
Just moments ago, my team and I
were involved in an explosion,
which killed at least five
and left several injured.
But we survived to bring you this story
live from Discovery Park.
Now hold on.
I do believe that this is the fire chief.
Let's see if we can get him
to make a statement.
So, Chief, with your years of expertise,
can you tell my audience
what happened here?
Yeah, sure, Veronica.
From what we can tell,
we're dealing with a gas explosion.
Emergency units responded,
and the situation is now contained.
But sadly, there are five dead
and more than a dozen seriously injured.
No, Chief, I was there.
Something came out of the floor.
Something big came up out of the floor.
Yeah, it's called gas.
No. No, something came up out of the floor
and destroyed the coffee shop.
Something came out of the floor?
Look, I'm sorry, but I
didn't get your name.
Trish Lanson, Channel 55 News.
Like I said, I was there, and something
came up out of the floor. Something big.
Hold on. Wait a minute.
Trish Lanson.
You're the wacky weather girl.
This is Trish Lanson
reporting for Channel 55 News.
Look, Ms. Lanson, why don't you
just leave this to the professionals
and focus a little more on, say,
the weather?
Chief, what causes a gas explosion
such as this one?
Any number of things...
- Hello?
- Hi, Rick.
- Trish, are you okay?
- I think so.
I saw you on the news,
you look terrible. Sorry.
Gee, thanks. Hold on.
Dan's calling. I think he's gonna fire me.
Don't worry about that. Listen, Trish,
you said you saw something in the sewer?
Yeah, look, I know it sounds crazy.
Trish, listen to me.
Something is in the sewer system,
and it's not frozen pipes.
I know.
I think I saw it.
I got water outages
pointing in a straight line
to Westpoint Treatment Plant,
like something huge is...
Westpoint. Okay, I gotta go. Okay, bye.
No, Trish, wait a second. No, wait.
- I gotta go check in with Trish.
- Okay.
Hey, where are you going?
I know where the next accident is gonna be.
Sweet, dude, let's roll.
Hey! Where the hell
do you think you're going?
We're still live.
A tragedy of monumental proportions.
So, did you just steal
the Channel 55 news van?
Stealing? Louie, we have a story to chase.
Besides, do I look like a car thief to you?
Yeah, kind of.
Malone.
This is Rick at SPU. You guys got
any trouble in your flow system?
What kind of trouble?
I got reds all down the line
coming right at you.
I don't know what it is.
Something in the pipes.
It's something big.
Rick, this is a sewage treatment facility,
and there are a lot of
big things in the pipe.
I'm serious, Malone. It's right on you.
Bureaucratic joker.
Hello?
Roger.
Are you seeing any back pressure?
Back pressure?
Yeah, there's quite a bit of back pressure
in the bio-solids tank.
You mean the poop tank.
Yeah, I mean the poop tank.
Yeah, there's back pressure, all right.
Why?
Can you flush it?
Yeah, I tried, but it won't flush.
Run! Everybody, run!
Roger, get out of there!
Roger. Roger, are you all right?
Oh, my God!
I could have been killed.
Oh, God, the smell!
It's horrible.
Obviously too late to warn anyone.
Let's get ready to go live.
Dan.
Hello, Dan? Hey.
No, wait.
No.
No, I'm here. I'm at the plant.
Seriously?
Seriously?
I can't believe this.
What?
He doesn't want me to go on air
after that stunt, as he called it.
"Wait for Veronica."
Are you kidding me?
Shit!
That's my van, Trish.
Sorry.
- Right, okay.
- Melody? Now what?
This is Veronica Viola.
Louie.
Louie, look at this. This is what I saw.
Come on, upload. Upload.
That's a shark robot.
They're calling it Roboshark.
Yeah, I've seen RoboCop.
I remember Robocroc.
Roboshark? I like that.
It has a good ring to it.
God, no!
- What do you want to do now?
- Hold on.
No, you're not coming.
Oh, my God, you idiot!
We've got a level-one contamination
out here.
Get that isolation tank now!
No, I don't want this on camera.
Turn it off! Help me!
Let's get out of here.
Okay, where to?
- What is it? It smells awful.
- Calm down, ma'am.
I can feel it on me. It's disgusting.
What? That's not good enough.
Do you understand the situation we're in?
What? Well, I need more, okay?
See what you can get
from Tacoma, all right?
Talk to me.
- I don't know. Pour concrete on it.
- I need you to okay these.
We're gonna need some serious contractors.
Hang on.
Thank God you're okay, Trish!
Look, I can't talk right now.
It is crazy in here.
Hey, listen,
I need to know where it's headed next.
No way!
Look, I've got outages everywhere,
and you have to stay away from it.
You got that?
No, listen, you saw it this morning.
It was on the video that Melody showed us.
They're calling it Roboshark.
"Roboshark"?
What the hell are you talking about?
- Stand down.
- Rick.
Trish, something's going on. I gotta go.
What? Rick!
Get these civilians out of here.
We're setting up right here.
Rick Lanson, Operations Deputy Director.
Mr. Lanson, Admiral Nathan Black,
United States Navy.
It's come to our attention
that you've been tracking a disturbance
in the city sewer system.
Yeah.
Son, the American people need you.
For what?
To defend the homeland.
Can we count on you?
Yeah, totally.
That's it. End of the line.
I'm gonna hand her the keys.
What? No, we have to finish the story.
No, it's over, Louie. It's been fun.
God, it stinks! What is that smell?
Hey, Mel!
Melody, what are you doing here?
Hey, Louie. Hey, Mom.
Oh, God, it stinks! Let's get out of here.
What the hell?
How did you get here?
How did you know where I was?
I got you on Phone Tracker. Can we go now?
Oh, God, she's here.
Yeah, she is.
Okay, so what's the next step?
We take you back to school.
Veronica's got the story.
Besides, we have no way of knowing
where Roboshark's gonna hit next.
Mom, this is what I've been telling you.
You need me.
Really? And how are you gonna help?
Dad's the only one who can do that
by tracking the water outages
as it travels through the city.
Wait, Dad said it's messing up the water?
Well, we can search for tweets
about water outages by time stamp
and then map them.
Hold on.
How's this? Looks like
something's happening at the Pacific Mall.
That's actually pretty good.
Okay, can we go now? It seriously stinks.
Okay.
Hey! Hey, that's my news van, damn it!
- Listen, we're still live.
- That's my news van!
Run! Run! Run!
Roboshark. This way.
Target's dead ahead. Fire at will.
Fall back!
Okay, you stay here.
No way, Mom. That's like the dumbest thing
to do in the movies.
Like, "Oh, yeah, let's leave the girl
in the car to protect her.
"Oh, wait, the monster's going
towards the car! Oh, no, let's save her!"
I'm coming with you
and keeping you from doing anything dumb.
Really?
Besides, it's freezing out here.
Let's go, come on!
Fine, but you stay right next to me
and you do as you're told.
Come on, Louie! Come on!
Louie, go!
Okay, we're going live.
Two.
We are live on the scene
as what has been named Roboshark
has apparently attacked the Pacific Mall.
I don't think this is a good idea.
- Mom, someone's got to get the story out.
- Only if they survive.
Come on!
If we go around that corner,
we'll have a shot.
- Let's go, come on.
- Come on.
Okay, stay close.
Get down.
Oh, my God!
Mom, did you see that?
I know.
It just ate that man.
Run!
Mom, we've got to get the word out.
Yeah, Trish, I got it all.
Call the big D.
Right.
You're about to witness
the power of television.
Hello? Hey, can you put Dan on?
He's not... Conference call?
This is breaking news. This is big.
This is the oil spill disaster
and the '89 flood rolled into one huge...
Sure, have him call me back.
He's gonna call me back, so...
Okay, so?
- Let's put it online.
- Yes!
No, no.
Right there.
Yes, that's good.
Hey, Mom.
Good!
We're at the Pacific Mall.
What? What are you doing there?
Are you okay?
I've got red lights all over that place.
We're fine. I got Melody with me.
Melody? What the hell?
Why isn't she in school?
Rick, there's a giant robot shark
tunneling under the city,
eating everything in its path.
Melody's helping us get the word out.
- She's incredible.
- Giant robot shark?
What, did Melody just use her years
of robot-shark-fighting experience
to save us?
Trish, are you out of your mind? She's 15!
I'm not a kid anymore, Dad.
Besides, my Instagram account
has over 11,000 followers.
Melody. So I'm on speakerphone.
What does your Insta account
have to do with anything?
Okay. Sorry, we're gonna get cut off here.
Why?
I've got Navy guys here
making me look for the shark.
- Roboshark, Dad. Roboshark.
- Roboshark, whatever.
Who are they, Rick? What can you tell me
about what's going on?
I'm sorry, baby. I can't tell you that.
Dad, have you
changed your password lately?
What? No.
You know my password?
I hung up...
The Admiral will clear
all calls, in or out.
Cool!
The Navy? That sounds like
some kind of top-secret weapon.
They lost control of it,
it's here and it's hungry.
Louie, stop with the conspiracy theories.
We're supposed to report the news,
not write it.
You're not gonna use that?
What's this about your dad's password?
Seriously, Mom? Please!
So we can listen in, obviously.
No, I'm sorry. Admiral!
Excuse me.
That was my wife and kid
I was talking to in there.
They're sort of
in the middle of this thing,
and you can't just cut me off like that.
- Rick, right?
- Yeah, sir.
You need to understand
there's a lot at stake here, Rick.
Don't test me.
I'm not trying to test you, sir.
It's my wife and kid.
Let's go in your office.
What I'm about to tell you,
you cannot reveal to anyone.
If you do, well, we'll
just have to kill you.
You're serious.
U.S. Navy wouldn't kill you, Rick.
You're American.
We'll just destroy your credibility.
IRS would seize all your assets.
And after you lost your job,
your wife, your family,
you'd kill yourself.
- This guy's a douche!
- Melody!
Sorry, Mom.
- Classic douche.
- I know, right?
Okay, then maybe you guys
shouldn't tell me anything.
You're already in, Rick. Deep.
- Deep? Deep?
- Deep.
You heard of force majeure?
Well, force majeure, Rick, is when
you get Intel that an alien starship...
That's right.
An alien starship
has launched something at us.
And that thing has taken out
a United States nuclear submarine.
One hundred and sixty-eight men,
gone.
And that's what we're here to destroy.
Are you sure?
Dead sure.
We're the United States Navy.
We don't make mistakes.
We're gonna kick its alien shark's ass
back to whatever damn planet it came from.
Sir.
Yes?
Yes, sir.
Yeah...
But, sir, we're quite...
Yes, understood, sir.
Yes, he'll have our full cooperation.
Yes, sir.
Well, thank you, sir.
When will he be here?
Any second.
Who? Who? Who? Who? Who was that?
The most powerful man in the world.
Cool. The President?
No. Someone with real power.
Please. Enough, XO.
Sorry, Admiral.
Hi, I'm Bill. Hi.
Hi, I'm Bill.
Hi, I'm Bill.
- I'm Rick, you're Bill.
- Yes, I'm Bill.
Nice to meet you.
You're in my office.
- Yes, it looks like that, Rick.
- It's my office.
Admiral, it's good to see you, too.
Bill, it's been a while.
We were trying to sell the army
electric tanks.
Yeah, that didn't go off too well, did it?
No. Electric tanks, who would've thought?
Oh, boy.
Well, I have a solution to our problems.
Alien technology.
Belinda and I feel that we can solve
poverty and diseases...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. We get it.
You're gonna save the world.
Let's cut to the chase, Bill.
How the hell are you gonna deal
with Roboshark?
Admiral, I'm glad you asked that question.
How does one communicate
with alien intelligence?
Music and math.
The first thing we do
is we establish
a common communication language.
And then we use this.
The MS-Drone.
We develop a musical rapport.
We work on understanding
its operating system.
We shut it down.
We reverse engineer it.
And then bingo! We own that market, too.
- That's...
- So, now,
I understand you know where Roboshark is.
Yes, sir.
Well...
Billionaires, always screwing around
with a perfectly good military operation.
I agree, sir.
All right. How much longer is it gonna be?
It's darn cold out here.
I'm gonna tell Belinda
that global warming is an okay thing.
Okay, what if we run those numbers?
Yep. Do it, do it. Excellent.
Okay, guys, look sharp.
- Show me that report.
- Here you go.
Okay.
Yeah, that's good. Let's
look at the whole...
I want the helos up and ready.
Missiles, Gatling guns,
the whole nine yards.
Yes, sir.
Get me Bill.
Admiral, I just want to say I appreciate
your cooperation and your teamwork.
Yeah, of course.
Remember, life's not fair.
Just get used to it.
Self-righteous...
What do you want to do, boss?
- Tell them to stand down.
- Roger that.
Yes! I found it!
It's at THX1138.
Great, over and out. We are online.
Okay, baby, come and get me.
What?
What?
Everything all right, Rick?
Fine, I just need to go to the bathroom.
Okay.
So, I'll just...
Excuse me, I'm just...
I'm just gonna...
Going to the bathroom!
Hi, Rick.
Trish, are you remoting in my desktop
and listening to our conversations?
I'm not.
Your daughter, on the other hand, is.
Are you crazy?
Do you wanna be shot for treason?
Don't be dramatic.
No, I'm not being dramatic.
They are being dramatic.
Hang on.
- Where are you? Right now?
- What?
Where are...
You're at the park.
It's where the story is, Rick.
God, Trish, please get out of there.
Are you kidding?
Aliens, Rick, Bill Glates,
this is the biggest story of all time,
and I'm right in the middle of it.
This is Roboshark.
Forget the damn anchor job!
This isn't about the damn anchor job, Rick!
This is about letting the people
know the truth.
What Roboshark is, where it came from
and what it wants.
Trish...
I can feel it coming, Rick. It's coming.
Trish, get out of there. Please!
Everything will be okay.
I'll call you later.
Trish! Trish!
Damn it!
Rick, Rick, Rick.
Toilet paper.
Now I think I've got its attention.
- Status?
- I'm looking for a signal. No go so far.
Let's try another run at it.
Let's play a little closer this time.
Here we go.
Come to Daddy.
I'm activating the communication package.
Let's load the virus. Here we go.
Three, two, one!
He's full of stars.
Oh, my God. It just ate Bill Glates!
It just ate Bill Glates!
I've never shot anything like this before.
Damn billionaires.
Always poking around
where they don't belong.
One fewer, right?
That's right, boss.
I want those helos up. Fully loaded.
Where did you say it was headed?
Huntsman High School,
where people shouldn't go.
You all right, son?
It's Melody.
They think the next attack
is gonna be at Huntsman High. Hurry!
Let's go, Louie.
Don't worry. I'm taking Roboshark out.
After you evacuate the school, right?
Evacuation?
I wish we could.
Admiral, it's a school.
The burden of command, Rick.
We can't afford to let the enemy know
that we know its plans.
It would take away the element of surprise.
It's a sacrifice we'll have to make.
A sacrifice...
They don't hire us
to make the easy choices, Rick.
"The needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few."
Wrath of Khan,seriously?
Who?
Come on, how do you not know that?
250,000 hits in six minutes.
You look great, Mom, I'm proud of you.
Turn right.
- They're not alerting the high school.
- What?
- We have to tell them to evacuate.
- How are we gonna do that?
Mom, I've got over 100,000 followers
'cause of Roboshark.
Watch this.
Left!
On your mark, get set...
- Hey, you gotta go!
- Get out of the way!
- Roboshark is coming!
- Go!
Get out of the way, go!
Get out, get out!
Oh, my God, that's Trish and Melody!
Not our problem. Prepare to engage, Chief.
- No! That's my wife and kid!
- Get him out of here, now!
That's my wife and kid in there!
Engage!
Please!
Get out of the pool!
Everybody get out of here!
Go, go, go!
Quick! Hurry, hurry!
Roboshark is coming!
- Go, go!
- Get out of here!
This is bad. This is really bad.
Okay, bad bad or bad good?
Oh, my God!
Melody, put your phone down!
This is not the right time for that!
Roboshark's following me.
What?
- She said Roboshark is following her.
- Yeah, I heard her.
What do you mean,
Roboshark is following you?
- What are you doing?
- I just DM'd Roboshark.
- What is DMing?
- Direct messaging.
- What did you say?
- Please stop hurting us, cry face.
You called Roboshark a cry face?
No, I just used a cry face sign.
You know, like an emoticon.
Like a colon, a dash,
and a closed parenthesis?
No, that would be a happy face.
Cry face would be an open parenthesis.
- She probably used an Emoji, right?
- Yeah.
Yeah, good. An Emoji's like a little...
Yeah, I know what Emoji's are, okay?
Is that Roboshark? What did he say?
It's Emoji's.
Rocket ship, fish, cry face.
What is that supposed to mean?
Where's that coming from?
Roboshark is making music.
- Melody, where are you going?
- I'm fine, Mom.
Melody, are you crazy? Get back here!
Mom, it's okay.
It's friendly.
It's okay, Roboshark.
No one's gonna hurt you.
Friends.
Oh, my God.
Are you getting this?
Melody, run!
This is the United States military.
Stand down or you will be fired upon.
Melody!
Okay, boys, target's dead ahead!
- Fire at will!
- No!
Stop shooting!
Hold your fire. Roboshark target is down.
Hold your fire.
Yes! That's what I'm talking about!
United States Navy one, Roboshark, zero.
Go on.
We're gonna give you a break, son.
Looks like the Roboshark is history.
What about my wife and daughter?
What?
They're fine. Got you!
What's the matter with you?
This is not a comedy!
Right?
Is the target destroyed?
We're gonna have to send divers to confirm.
On the scene at
Huntsman High in Seattle,
where a swim meet was interrupted
by a violent...
Mom.
It looked at me like...
Like it was smart.
We got it all wrong and they killed it.
Now it's gone.
I know.
- It's okay.
- I love you, Mom.
Hey, guys.
What are you doing here?
With my van?
I was getting the first on-camera
communication with Roboshark.
That is until they killed it.
But then, I got that on camera too.
You? You got this on camera?
Yeah, how do you like it?
That footage is mine.
I'm the reporter assigned to this story.
And you were both
supposed to be working for me.
So whatever you shot with Louie,
the footage is mine!
Hey! Look at this.
Yeah, that's right, sister.
896,000 followers.
You take one more step towards that camera,
and I tweet,
"Veronica Viola steals Trish Lanson's
Roboshark footage."
And I'm just getting started.
It gets a lot uglier from there.
That nose job.
That Botox you've been having.
And what about that lesbian weekend
in Cabo I heard about.
All right, fine, keep the footage.
Just relax.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
It's Roboshark!
It's alive!
- What did it say?
- It says...
"Roboshark phone home."
Heavy.
I want confirmation that that fish is dead.
- You got that?
- Yes, sir.
What is it?
Admiral, it's alive.
That's impossible.
It is.
Admiral, you've got to get
those divers out of there.
Sit down.
The enemy is wounded. We'll finish the job.
It's what we do.
Admiral, we really need to concentrate
our efforts in this area here.
Damn it.
Are you and your family
in some kind of terroristic relationship
with Roboshark?
What? No!
Talk to me, Rick.
Okay, okay.
I don't know if this means anything,
but for the past few hours,
Roboshark has been traveling
in pretty much a straight line.
Where does it lead?
I don't know, somewhere along this line.
The Space Needle?
The Space Needle.
Of course.
- Chief.
- Aye-aye, sir.
"Of course the Space Needle"?
Why? Why "of course"?
All right, boys. Pack it
up, we're moving out.
We were expecting something like this.
An attempt to communicate
with the mothership.
The mothership?
Using the Space Needle?
It needs something large
to act as an antenna.
Space Needle fits the bill.
We cannot allow
that communication to occur.
The enemy must be stopped at all costs.
You're coming with us.
Am I?
- Damn!
- Rick?
I got to go to the bathroom.
Again.
Weak bladder.
- Just lost the feed, Mel.
- What?
It's Dad. Hey, Rick.
Mom, give me that. You're driving. Dad?
Put your mom on the phone.
Mom can't talk right now.
She's driving to the Space Needle.
Besides, it's not safe to talk on
the phone and drive at the same time.
Not safe?
Then stay away from the Space Needle!
The Navy's bringing in the big guns.
Dad, they can't kill Roboshark!
This is the U.S. Navy, honey.
They're gonna get it done.
Not if we can stop it.
Dad, Roboshark is friendly.
It's following me.
Following you?
What do you mean,
Roboshark is following you?
Then you need to run!
Run, Melody, run.
Not following following, Twitter following.
Roboshark is following me on Twitter!
What? What?
Dad, think about it.
What if Roboshark wasn't bad?
What if it just wanted to be liked
and see what the Earth was like?
And then people started trying to kill it.
Honey, just because someone
friends you on Twitter
does not make them a friend in real life.
Come on!
Dad, you can't friend people on Twitter.
I don't know if Roboshark has Facebook.
Melody, what are you even talking about?
This is Roboshark!
Hey, buddy, ready to go?
Dad?
Dad, are you there?
Dad?
- That's weird.
- It just cut out?
- Are you sure about this?
- Yes, Mom. I'm sure.
I heard about this new...
- Are you okay?
- What was that?
I want the cruise missiles
warming up in the bullpen.
And I want the big guns
ready on the battleship
to rain hell down on Roboshark!
We're gonna whip his ass!
And call the President.
I want the green light
for the tactical nukes.
Yes, sir, Admiral.
Admiral!
Admiral!
You can't use nukes! It's Seattle!
Never a big fan of this city, Rick.
Not since the Seahawks
embarrassed the Cowboys in 2012.
What?
Got you!
The Roboshark stops here.
Clip on. You're coming, too.
But, Admiral, I have no...
No, no, no, no!
No!
Okay, I get it. You're just joking.
Nope.
And now we're live streaming
with everything we shoot.
The power of news van,
the size of my phone. Cool.
Come on, we'll have to go
the rest of the journey on foot.
Okay.
- Easy peasy, huh, Rick?
- Easy peasy.
All right, come on, let's go!
Yeah.
My computer.
- Yeah, your computer, right.
- What exactly do you want me to do?
Rick, the plan is you point
it out, we hit it. Get it?
Son?
Do you know what we're doing here?
I have no idea.
Physics, Rick. The laws of physics.
If the Roboshark is gonna communicate
with the mothership,
it's gonna take time.
NASA says more than 10 minutes round trip
just to say howdy.
That's our window. It'll be vulnerable.
Forced to wait for a handshake
before it sends its message.
The Roboshark will be a sitting duck.
Shark, whatever. Look, Rick.
You have to help us find the Roboshark.
Tell us where it is.
- Now, Rick.
- Okay, yeah, no, I got this, okay.
Yeah, here we go.
It's here.
Admiral, we have a signal.
- Jam it.
- Aye-aye, sir.
Call the gun ships.
Warm up the cruise missiles.
- And get me that tactical nuke.
- Yes, sir.
Admiral.
Just making sure
you're paying attention, son.
Somewhere around here,
maybe a little further.
Okay.
This is Trish Lanson, reporting live
on the Roboshark from the Space Needle.
Why it's decided to come here
is not yet known,
but something appears
to be attracting it to this location.
Melody, come back here!
Come on!
Come back!
It's overloading.
We've got to shut this down, now.
- Where are the 130s?
- Seconds away, sir.
Preparing to engage.
Admiral, if you don't get
my wife and daughter out of there,
a million people are gonna watch you
blow them up.
Live.
Now tell me how you're gonna explain that
to the Senate subcommittee
investigating who blew up Seattle?
Damn social media.
Can't run a proper war anymore.
- Get her out of there.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you.
What the hell is she doing?
There, there.
There, there.
There, there.
Melody, I'm so proud of you.
She's petting the Roboshark, sir.
What kind of Free Willy nonsense
is going on here?
Don't you see?
Roboshark has changed its message.
She could be saving us all, Admiral.
That's my girl.
No! No! No!
- Call in the helos. We're pulling out.
- Aye-aye, sir.
- Are you okay, honey?
- Mom!
Let me go!
Get off me!
- Are you okay?
- Please!
Are you okay?
Melody, you're okay!
- They killed it, Mom.
- No, honey. It's okay.
I think it's okay now. Okay?
Admiral, do something.
Roboshark is gonna get her.
Relax, son, we're all over this.
- How long before target lock?
- They got it, sir.
Get back!
Yeah, baby!
Admiral, is that a bomber?
You can't bomb my family!
I understand, son.
Damn thing took out my sub.
That boat was my first command.
Broke my heart.
Oh, my God!
No, Mom, no!
Yes.
Yes!
- They killed it again, Mom.
- I know, honey. You're okay though.
Admiral, you did it! You saved her!
- Sorry.
- That's what we do, right, boss?
Confirm the kill.
Confirm the kill!
That was amazing!
- Trish, Mel.
- Louie!
- I got everything. We're trending.
- Yes!
- Erik! Erik!
- I'm coming. I'm right with you.
- Hey, Erik, my man.
- Hey, brother.
Are you kidding me?
We got scooped by those two again?
This is all your fault, you ignorant moron!
What?
- Damn it, damn it, damn it!
- Careful with the camera!
Confirming the kill, Admiral.
Believe target is vaporized.
We need 100% confirmation on that kill.
Get in there and get a closer look.
Copy that. Closing back on the target.
Incoming! We've got incoming!
I know, right?
I need a close-up, get closer!
Are you crazy? This is a Roboshark!
That is a price I am willing to pay
for greatness, Erik.
You're willing to pay!
It's gonna hit us!
It's gonna hit us!
Brace for it!
We're all gonna die!
Guys, can we please get out of here?
Get in there and get the damn shot!
This is a bad idea, Veronica.
Damn it, Erik.
Amateur.
- Veronica, no, it's too dangerous!
- Shut up, weather girl!
Let me show you how the pros do it.
Don't talk to my mom
like that, you little...
Yes!
Yes! I'm gonna get a Peabody for this!
We're gonna need a bigger bang.
Contact the battleship.
Have them target the break.
You mean, target Roboshark.
You heard me right the first time.
Target this tower, where the break is.
Have them hit it with
everything they've got.
We're gonna pancake that son of a bitch.
You mean, you wanna drop
the top of the Space Needle...
- Was I not clear the first time?
- Yes, sir.
We're gonna drop the Space Needle
on Roboshark?
That's right, Rick.
But this is the iconic symbol of Seattle!
Well, I guess it's just gonna
have to get another one.
No, no.
Here comes the Emmy.
You and sewer guy get the hell out of here.
Sir, there's plenty of time.
They'll just Twitter and Facebook me
to a Senate committee.
Best to go down with the ship.
Now, get the hell out of here!
That's a direct order, sailor!
Aye-aye, sir.
- Oorah.
- Oorah.
It's just me and you now, Roboshark.
Help me.
Veronica, get out of there!
It's gonna fall on you!
Yeah, right, weather skank.
Veronica, run!
Melody, are you okay?
- Mom, is...
- Yeah, Veronica's dead.
No, I mean Roboshark.
I think so.
- Trish! Melody!
- Rick!
Dad!
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
Thank God.
We made it.