Robot Chicken Adult Swim Special (2026) Movie Script
1
[ Dramatic music plays ]
It was the 25th anniversary
of Adult Swim.
We had all gathered
for a celebratory cruise.
- Permission to board?
- Welcome. Welcome aboard.
Hey, did you pack anything? I didn't
know I was supposed to bring stuff.
I'm already feeling
a little seasick here, Eric.
Let me just support
your lumbar.
Champagne, sir?
Holy cow.
Am I in the future?
I am Adult Swim's new AI robot.
Soon everything will be AI.
That is bleak.
What about apples?
No, probably not apples.
Phew! Thank God.
Two by two,
just like Noah's Ark.
Get out of my way!
Daddy needs the bar.
The 25th anniversary
is known as the silver ann...
Nobody gives a shit.
[ Slurping ]
I do.
Are Rick and Morty here?
Oh, they're way
too important to be here.
But you can get your picture
taken with the walk a rounds.
[ Indistinct electronic voices ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
- [ Clucking ]
- [ Barking ]
Oh, quiet, Mr. Pickles.
No mischief now.
Wow! What a deal.
A free cruise,
and all I have to do is
shovel coal for 16 hours a day.
Oh, boy!
Boating is in my DNA.
You know, Michigan is known
as the Great Lakes State.
Now, that's good saltwater air.
Oh, geez. Objection.
R-Relevance, Your Honor.
Good question, lawyer Marty.
Where is this going,
Mr. Birdman?
Where, you ask,
Judge Mike Tyson?
On a one-way trip
to class-action
settlement-ville... town.
Adult Swim's negligence led to
846 deaths aboard that cruise.
Okay, I'm listening.
Now, Mr. Eagleheart,
you say...
My name's Chris Monsanto.
Should have
named the show "Monsanto."
You were on board
in your capacity
as cruise marshal, correct?
Yes.
INTERPOL tipped me off
to a pickpocket ring
of seafaring mimes.
[ Bal musette music playing ]
Freeze!
Cruise marshal!
Try to glass-box me,
motherfucker,
and I will... chk-chk!...
Fuck you up.
[ French accent ] Mon dieu!
Chris Monsanto, the legend
of my Mime Maison University!
Yes! Class of '99.
It is I, my love.
Francois?!
A criminal mime?
[ Sobs ] It makes sense
since you stole my heart.
Ho ho ho!
Is that a gun in your pocket
or do you...
Bang.
[ Gunshot ]
It was a gun.
You were too beautiful to live.
Hi. I'm Dr. Blake Downs
with cruise ship safety tips.
When it comes
to proper footwear on the deck,
don't clown around.
Get it?
Whoa! Oh! Ohh! Oh!
How the hell
am I staying upright?!
Ohh!
[ Water splashes ]
Shark!
Mr. The Monarch,
your wife Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
testified you were on board,
quote,
with his "dumb-ass friends"
to commit some dumb-ass crimes,"
end quote.
We were there to steal
the Great Alaskan Jewel,
which I planned
to give my wife for Arbor Day
before she had needlessly
slandered my friends in court.
However...
Sky Monkey Pavilion Deck,
floor 12, door 38!
This is the place!
[ Rattling ]
Oh, great.
It's friggin' locked.
Stupid earthlings.
You must do the secret knock.
Yeah, the secret knock, man.
Ain't no secret-knock
instructions on my invite.
- There was a QR code...
- Yeah, man!
meant to be scanned
with your pathetic flip phone.
Eat a dick, telephones!
You got one of them
QVC codes on your invite, clown?
Dr. Rockso used
his invite to snort cocaine.
The code was there.
I saw it.
It was there!
I don't fucking care.
Did anyone scan it?
Our Mint Mobile plan
does not cover the ocean
or anywhere with hills.
- But it's cheap, man!
- Just do, like, a regular knock.
Needs a little more
cocaine flair!
Knock, knock!
Knock, knock, knock!
Behold.
[ Knocks ]
I did the Mooninite
this-door-shall-open-
after-being-knocked-upon knock.
And now it is open.
[ Rattling ]
- Door's locked.
You don't know the secrets.
Dr. Rockso just gonna
make a key card out of balloons!
Watch this.
Oh, yeah.
[ Mumbling ]
[ Pops ]
That was Dr. Rockso's
last balloon.
[ Knocks ]
There. It is now open.
- Suck it, door.
- Suck it dry, door.
[ Rattling ]
- The door is locked, by the way.
Hey! Hey, yo!
Anyone in there?!
Will you keep it down,
you plebes?!
We're trying to have
a secret meeting in here.
Tonight we will execute
the heist of the century.
Aboard this ship is
the Great Alaskan Jewel.
Time-out!
Who the fuck is this kid?
Uh, everyone meet my son,
Simon.
The babysitter canceled
last-minute.
Something about being pregnant.
And here we are.
- Uh...
The Great Alaskan Jewel is on
display in the Portside Theater.
Security cameras are here
and here.
And here's the cafeteria
with that crepe station.
Ooh, they got a crepe station!
The vault on board has three
layers of security fail-safes.
[ Bowl shatters ]
[ Groans ]
Oh, yeah. Things are...
Are pretty good.
Yeah, I'm pretty good, too.
I demand to be let
into the rich people's zone!
The party is open
to everyone, sir.
Then I am leaving!
Hold that thought.
Mousy and frowny at 12 o'clock.
Rrawr.
Pardon me, madam.
You happen to be in the market
for a future ex-husband
who will drain your financial
resources and your faith in men?
I'm pitching a miracle drug
to a pharmaceutical backer.
Oh, what a coincidence.
The name... Shake.
Shake Ibuprofen, inventor of...
Ah. No matter.
You don't care about...
Are you the inventor
of ibuprofen?
That's indeed
what I've led you to believe.
Now, how about we wrap
our lips around some drinks?
[ Farts ] I have to take the
biggest crap in the world, man.
I just like being in the line.
Boy, there's not a lot
of ventilation on this thing.
Guys, guys,
all these people
are clearly in line
to see the Great Alaskan Jewel.
Hey, gang.
In line for the meet-and-greet?
The what now?
It's 800 bucks,
but you get a tote bag.
$800 to see a jewel?
Do you know
how much cocaine that would buy?
No, idiots!
Not a jewel... the Jewel.
Did you know she lived
in her car?
I think we're gonna need
a plan B.
When in doubt,
steal the copper wire.
[ Laughs ]
- Uh-huh!
Dude, it's Tyler, the Creator
and the whole cast
of "Loiter Squad."
And Jon Glaser from "Delocated"
and Paul Scheer from "NSTF: S"...
Whatever...
Are in line at the taco bar.
Oh, you really dark out
over the live-action stuff, huh?
- Oh, not a fan?
- I'm a purist.
Adult Swim is
for adult cartoons.
Keep the live-action stuff
on Comedy Central.
Ooh, look!
It's Tim and Eric.
Oh, my God! Where?
Oh, nah,
it's just two white guys.
- This'll do.
- Oh, shit.
Brock's not gonna slit my
throat if I take a nap, is he?
Nah.
This is neutral hench territory.
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
That gentlemen
is decidedly uncircumcised.
Hey.
That's my chair.
I hung my towel on that chair
when the pool opened.
Jesus, man, that suit's so tight
I can see every hair follicle
on your balls.
Hey, fuck stick.
[ Thud, squelch ]
- Oh, my eye!
- Oh! Brock!
- Ah!
Hey, someone left perfectly
good nachos lying here.
Can you make my junk huge?
You're making my junk huge,
right?!
Welcome to the cruise ship
teen lounge,
where teenagers
can just be teenagers.
Oh, sweet!
Let's do whip-its and make out.
Ooh!
I call the spooky chick!
Triana isn't property.
And I called dibs on her boobs
a long time ago.
Ugh. I hope you all die
a watery death.
Wink!
I know, I know.
The sun and sea air can bring
out urges in young people
that'll put this whole boat
in danger.
But let's focus
that horny energy into song.
Here's some sheet music
for an a cappella version
of the "Superjail" theme song.
- Suck harder!
- I'm sucking!
Put your suck muscles into it!
Bluh!
My neighbor Carl's lawn's
about to get the world's biggest
penis burned into it!
Hold on.
Why are we siphoning gas?
I thought you were rich.
Of course I'm rich!
Or my name isn't... Sam Tylenol.
Aww.
Ah! You wouldn't do this
to Alexander Sudafed!
Oh! Oh, that hurt!
Could you keep it down?
This is my home!
I live in my car
You're a monster!
Why?
I'm taking the copper wire
out of a control box.
Ooh!
Whoopsy doodle!
[ Ship powering down ]
We've lost engines
on the right.
Starboard.
It has two R's in it.
That's how you remember.
Well, guys, we're doomed.
And fuck.
The captain
always goes down with the ship.
Best of luck, Cap'n.
God damn it, someone took
all the copper wire
out of my jet pack!
[ Explosion ]
Hey, uh, you guys want to
explain the starboard
one more time?
Ladies and gentlemen...
Dethklok.
[ Death metal music blasts ]
Whoa!
Oh, my earplugs aren't working!
Poseidon
Sucks the floor of the sea
[ Singing indistinctly ]
Poseidon
Oh, I can't see jack
with these things.
[ Gulping ]
Ah, there we go.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
It's a... toonami!
[ Bell ringing ]
Toonami!
[ Mid-tempo jazz music plays ]
[ People screaming ]
The ball is rolling!
Quick! After it!
[ People screaming ]
Whoa! Joe Blow!
Toonami Mommy!
"Ani-may" or may not.
Aaaaaaaaah!
Three busy Debras
jumping on the bed!
- Aah!
- Whoa! Debra?
Two busy Debras...
Ohh!
Finally. Vacation!
Oh, no! Not you!
Aah!
Brace yourselves!
There really is
nothing like a Jet2holiday.
- I'm about to get sick, y'all.
- Ha haaa!
Whoa!
It's okay y'all.
I landed on this glass.
Uh-oh.
That ain't good.
Oh, fuck.
Baby's gonna die.
Aah! Aah!
Oh!
[ Screaming ]
- Who needs a smile?
Sir? Sir, can you pause
the screaming?
He's not pausing the screaming.
He's still doing it.
That's okay. Have you heard of
crush syndrome?
It's when one's body
is compressed
and suffers impeded blood flow.
All your cells are dying,
which releases myoglobin
and potassium,
and when we push
this statue off you,
they will flood your body,
resulting in cardiac arrhythmia
and death.
So you're gonna be very,
very happy
to have the statue off of you,
but then you'll be dead.
- Oh, thank you!
- It's called a smiling death.
What do you think of that, sir?
[ Screaming ]
Sir, I need a verbal
confirmation. Come on, man.
[ Screaming ]
Um, yeah, I guess that works.
Oh, there we go.
Day saved. Problem solved.
Oh, geez, do you expect
this jury to believe.
Adult Swim would wreck
its own cruise ship?
Adult Swim has an established
pattern of organized mayhem.
[ Gallery murmuring ]
[ Gavel banging ]
That didn't look like no bomb,
and it didn't sniff like no bomb
either.
So there was no other conclusion
for us to come to
except that it was a bomb.
If being an idiot was a crime,
the whole city
would be behind bars!
It's Boston!
Everything's a bomb.
Evidence will prove otherwise.
He's got a bomb!
Leaps!
The ship's sinking.
This whole place is gonna flood.
We need to go up.
When you say up,
do you mean down?
Because we're upside down.
Oh, Black Jesus.
What should we do?
Just Jesus is fine.
My heavenly Father
will deliver us to safety!
- Amen!
- What are you doing?
[ Farting ] Leave them, Brock.
They're already dead.
- This way.
- Brock, just stop.
So, kind of a nepo baby, huh?
We're gonna go into acting.
Everyone stay calm.
You just have to believe!
- Praise the Lord!
I know the real Jesus
was Black.
Is that racist?
Where are we going?
Black Jesus,
I don't know if you've noticed,
but we're getting
uncomfortably close to the top.
I see that.
Uh, oh, shit.
Everyone get back
into the water!
- We can't!
- I can't get in the water, guys.
Why won't Black Jesus help me
under the water?
I'm gonna get crushed!
I knew the real Jesus
wasn't Black!
[ Squelches ]
The Mike Tyson Mystery is here
to solve the case
of the flipped ship.
Ha ha! You fell for
my greatest prank yet.
Eric Andr, you did this?
Well [clears throat] my prank
was telling you it was a prank.
We're all gonna die.
Michael, of all the ways
I thought you'd die,
a "Poseidon Adventure" rip-off
was low on the list.
Oh, Poseidon,
the Greek god of the underwater
and domain of all the dolphins?
Yes!
Um, but, uh, no, not...
Nobody puts my adopted daughter
Yung Hee in danger...
Even Poseidon,
Greek god of the underwater
domain and all the dolphins!
- But...
- I'm gonna fuck that guy up.
Which one of you is Poseidon?
You'll have to tickle it
out of us.
How are you talking underwater?
I'm the heavyweight champion
of the world.
You think I never learned
to talk underwater?
We got caught
in the same tsunami...
- It was a toonami.
- that capsized your ship.
Swallowing a little bit
too much saltwater.
[ Laughing maniacally ]
I am Poseidon,
Greek god
of the underwater domains
and all the dolphins!
Dethklok mocked me,
so everyone on this Adult Swim
cruise is sentenced to die!
I sentence you to a beatdown
for... for scaring my adopted
daughter, Yung Hee,
and, second, for making me
swallow so much saltwater.
- Aah!
- Down, Poseidon.
- Oh, my God, he hits so hard.
- Objection!
The judge is presiding
over a lawsuit
in which he's a plaintiff.
It's a conflict of interests.
I will allow it.
It's a dead end!
I've still got the mime gun
if anybody wants
the coward's way out.
Chk-chk-chk!
One of us will have to dive in
and find a way through.
But who?
We should draw straws.
[ Farting ] We don't have
any straws.
Luckily, I forgot my Lady Bic.
[ Ripping ]
Rip!
- Ugh!
- Oh, no.
- No, thank you.
- Fine. Dealer's choice.
I can't
swim!
[ Water bubbling ]
[ Bubbling stops ]
Ha! Adult Can't Swim!
Up top!
RIP.
Rest in pubes.
Guys, you know, at scout camp,
we used a dead kid
as a makeshift oxygen tank.
If only we had those straws.
Oh, shit.
I had straws after all.
Stab, stab, stab!
Shoveling all that coal
was hard work,
but it was worth it to make it
onto the Adult Swim cruise!
[ Ship horn blows ]
Wait a minute.
I ended up
on the public domain cruise?!
Nooooo!
That ladder's our way out.
I can't jump that far!
I got little legs, motherfucker!
[ Farting ] I can get you
across, but it won't be pretty.
And it won't smell good either.
Okay, we get it.
You're farting us across.
Yes, please.
Do it.
- [ Farts ]
- Oh!
Ow!
- Who's next? [ Farts ]
I'm already locked and loaded.
[ Farts ]
Bad news, Meatwad.
I'm all out of gas.
Hurry! There's no time!
You've got to eat me, man.
Turn me into farts
and save yourself!
No, Meatwad!
We'll find another way.
Just fucking eat him, man!
Eat me.
[ Sobbing ] You're the bravest
meatball.
I'm just curious.
How does Assy eat...
- Aah!
- Oh, no!
[ Assy crying ]
Ah! Oh, wow.
For Meatwad!
[ Farting ]
That's our way out.
Climb! Climb!
All that work for nothin'.
If by "nothing" you mean
"memories that will last
a lifetime."
Ah ha ha ha!
- Look!
- Simon, you did it!
We're rich! Rich!
Not for long, though.
Simon...
Don't, now.
Son, there's more
than enough room on the door
for you and the ball.
- Simon! Simon!
- Son...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Don't you do that,
you little prick.
[ All screaming ]
- No!
- No!
Hey, Stormy, check this out.
- Oh!
- Oh, boy.
We're rich!
Ahoy!
You guys see a ball of meat
or an asshole milkshake
in there?
[ Farts ]
Don't cry, friend.
I'll be okay.
Meatwad, are you dead?
I'm all good.
All farts go to heaven.
Rest in pubes.
Oh, shit.
[ Grunts ]
[ Ripping ]
Yes!
Where did that come from?
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
this was corporate malfeasance.
The guest list included
supervillains and morons.
They booked a musical act
known for summoning
angry gods of yore!
Not Jewel. She's lovely.
Lived in her car.
We're asking for justice
and $1 trillion.
Or 50 pounds of copper wire,
whichever is worth more.
Gracias.
The Birdman spins
quite a yarn... of bullshit!
Flashback gun!
Forget, Jewel.
Did you know that copper wire
goes for $4 a pound?
Hyah!
This guy's a genius.
All right, party people!
Nothing says poolside fun
like two hours
of Beach Boys covers!
I think they'd rather hear
the Poseidon song.
Ooh!
We love money!
Well, gang, we're doomed.
And fuck.
The captain
always goes down with the ship.
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
Best of luck, Cap'n.
Enjoy the jet pack, sir.
Should be a short flight.
[ Laughs maniacally ]
But none of that ever happened.
You know, flashbacks never lie.
[ Mumbling ] They never do.
They never lie.
[ Bible thuds ]
I do.
Looks like
Simon wants to testify.
One, two, three, four, five.
Five?
- My God, he's right.
Rewind those flashbacks.
Stop! Right there.
Zoom! Enhance!
In each flashback,
I've got six fingers.
That's [gasps] one extra!
Yeah, it was AI the whole time!
Mike Tyson?
But how?!
And you know who else
has six fingers?
Me! No, I mean him.
My hand!
I am the only me, fucker!
Oh, snap. It's that AI waiter
from the cruise!
- Wrong!
- Aah!
I'm not a waiter at all!
I'm the new overlord
of Adult Swim.
But what about Adult Swim
president Michael Ouweleen?
Funny story.
I said, "I'm in charge now,
Michael Ouweleen."
And he said,
"Over my dead body, robot."
And I said, "Cool."
But why kill all your talent?
Because Adult Swim is
just random, cheap crap.
AI can do random crap
a thousand times faster!
Ha ha ha!
The cruise was
the perfect opportunity
to get rid of you all.
Except Rick and Morty.
You're my babies.
I love you, golden goose.
Not yet!
Adult Swim was
never cheap and crappy.
The creators poured their hearts
and souls into every show!
I'll create an original show,
extra original...
Full of heart, soul,
and limited animation...
Right now!
But first
I have to drain a small town's
entire water supply.
Now bow your heads and tremble.
Behold!
My greatest creation.
[ Grunting ]
See? Ha ha!
Brand-new original content.
Green light, three seasons!
No, no, no!
I'm your papa!
Congrats, everybody.
[ People cheering ]
AI freak, my man,
you saved us all.
Chk-chk!
[ Gunshot ]
You were too beautiful to live!
- Sorry.
- Jewel!
My house ran out of gas.
[ Chuckles ]
You know what I mean, right?
They're closing down
the pools
Kids aren't welcome in
No cartoons left for babies
Now it's all an Adult Swim
Corporations are
the people now
And we're all numbers
in this land
It's enough to make a woman
Wanna live in her sedan
[ Dramatic music plays ]
It was the 25th anniversary
of Adult Swim.
We had all gathered
for a celebratory cruise.
- Permission to board?
- Welcome. Welcome aboard.
Hey, did you pack anything? I didn't
know I was supposed to bring stuff.
I'm already feeling
a little seasick here, Eric.
Let me just support
your lumbar.
Champagne, sir?
Holy cow.
Am I in the future?
I am Adult Swim's new AI robot.
Soon everything will be AI.
That is bleak.
What about apples?
No, probably not apples.
Phew! Thank God.
Two by two,
just like Noah's Ark.
Get out of my way!
Daddy needs the bar.
The 25th anniversary
is known as the silver ann...
Nobody gives a shit.
[ Slurping ]
I do.
Are Rick and Morty here?
Oh, they're way
too important to be here.
But you can get your picture
taken with the walk a rounds.
[ Indistinct electronic voices ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
- [ Clucking ]
- [ Barking ]
Oh, quiet, Mr. Pickles.
No mischief now.
Wow! What a deal.
A free cruise,
and all I have to do is
shovel coal for 16 hours a day.
Oh, boy!
Boating is in my DNA.
You know, Michigan is known
as the Great Lakes State.
Now, that's good saltwater air.
Oh, geez. Objection.
R-Relevance, Your Honor.
Good question, lawyer Marty.
Where is this going,
Mr. Birdman?
Where, you ask,
Judge Mike Tyson?
On a one-way trip
to class-action
settlement-ville... town.
Adult Swim's negligence led to
846 deaths aboard that cruise.
Okay, I'm listening.
Now, Mr. Eagleheart,
you say...
My name's Chris Monsanto.
Should have
named the show "Monsanto."
You were on board
in your capacity
as cruise marshal, correct?
Yes.
INTERPOL tipped me off
to a pickpocket ring
of seafaring mimes.
[ Bal musette music playing ]
Freeze!
Cruise marshal!
Try to glass-box me,
motherfucker,
and I will... chk-chk!...
Fuck you up.
[ French accent ] Mon dieu!
Chris Monsanto, the legend
of my Mime Maison University!
Yes! Class of '99.
It is I, my love.
Francois?!
A criminal mime?
[ Sobs ] It makes sense
since you stole my heart.
Ho ho ho!
Is that a gun in your pocket
or do you...
Bang.
[ Gunshot ]
It was a gun.
You were too beautiful to live.
Hi. I'm Dr. Blake Downs
with cruise ship safety tips.
When it comes
to proper footwear on the deck,
don't clown around.
Get it?
Whoa! Oh! Ohh! Oh!
How the hell
am I staying upright?!
Ohh!
[ Water splashes ]
Shark!
Mr. The Monarch,
your wife Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
testified you were on board,
quote,
with his "dumb-ass friends"
to commit some dumb-ass crimes,"
end quote.
We were there to steal
the Great Alaskan Jewel,
which I planned
to give my wife for Arbor Day
before she had needlessly
slandered my friends in court.
However...
Sky Monkey Pavilion Deck,
floor 12, door 38!
This is the place!
[ Rattling ]
Oh, great.
It's friggin' locked.
Stupid earthlings.
You must do the secret knock.
Yeah, the secret knock, man.
Ain't no secret-knock
instructions on my invite.
- There was a QR code...
- Yeah, man!
meant to be scanned
with your pathetic flip phone.
Eat a dick, telephones!
You got one of them
QVC codes on your invite, clown?
Dr. Rockso used
his invite to snort cocaine.
The code was there.
I saw it.
It was there!
I don't fucking care.
Did anyone scan it?
Our Mint Mobile plan
does not cover the ocean
or anywhere with hills.
- But it's cheap, man!
- Just do, like, a regular knock.
Needs a little more
cocaine flair!
Knock, knock!
Knock, knock, knock!
Behold.
[ Knocks ]
I did the Mooninite
this-door-shall-open-
after-being-knocked-upon knock.
And now it is open.
[ Rattling ]
- Door's locked.
You don't know the secrets.
Dr. Rockso just gonna
make a key card out of balloons!
Watch this.
Oh, yeah.
[ Mumbling ]
[ Pops ]
That was Dr. Rockso's
last balloon.
[ Knocks ]
There. It is now open.
- Suck it, door.
- Suck it dry, door.
[ Rattling ]
- The door is locked, by the way.
Hey! Hey, yo!
Anyone in there?!
Will you keep it down,
you plebes?!
We're trying to have
a secret meeting in here.
Tonight we will execute
the heist of the century.
Aboard this ship is
the Great Alaskan Jewel.
Time-out!
Who the fuck is this kid?
Uh, everyone meet my son,
Simon.
The babysitter canceled
last-minute.
Something about being pregnant.
And here we are.
- Uh...
The Great Alaskan Jewel is on
display in the Portside Theater.
Security cameras are here
and here.
And here's the cafeteria
with that crepe station.
Ooh, they got a crepe station!
The vault on board has three
layers of security fail-safes.
[ Bowl shatters ]
[ Groans ]
Oh, yeah. Things are...
Are pretty good.
Yeah, I'm pretty good, too.
I demand to be let
into the rich people's zone!
The party is open
to everyone, sir.
Then I am leaving!
Hold that thought.
Mousy and frowny at 12 o'clock.
Rrawr.
Pardon me, madam.
You happen to be in the market
for a future ex-husband
who will drain your financial
resources and your faith in men?
I'm pitching a miracle drug
to a pharmaceutical backer.
Oh, what a coincidence.
The name... Shake.
Shake Ibuprofen, inventor of...
Ah. No matter.
You don't care about...
Are you the inventor
of ibuprofen?
That's indeed
what I've led you to believe.
Now, how about we wrap
our lips around some drinks?
[ Farts ] I have to take the
biggest crap in the world, man.
I just like being in the line.
Boy, there's not a lot
of ventilation on this thing.
Guys, guys,
all these people
are clearly in line
to see the Great Alaskan Jewel.
Hey, gang.
In line for the meet-and-greet?
The what now?
It's 800 bucks,
but you get a tote bag.
$800 to see a jewel?
Do you know
how much cocaine that would buy?
No, idiots!
Not a jewel... the Jewel.
Did you know she lived
in her car?
I think we're gonna need
a plan B.
When in doubt,
steal the copper wire.
[ Laughs ]
- Uh-huh!
Dude, it's Tyler, the Creator
and the whole cast
of "Loiter Squad."
And Jon Glaser from "Delocated"
and Paul Scheer from "NSTF: S"...
Whatever...
Are in line at the taco bar.
Oh, you really dark out
over the live-action stuff, huh?
- Oh, not a fan?
- I'm a purist.
Adult Swim is
for adult cartoons.
Keep the live-action stuff
on Comedy Central.
Ooh, look!
It's Tim and Eric.
Oh, my God! Where?
Oh, nah,
it's just two white guys.
- This'll do.
- Oh, shit.
Brock's not gonna slit my
throat if I take a nap, is he?
Nah.
This is neutral hench territory.
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
That gentlemen
is decidedly uncircumcised.
Hey.
That's my chair.
I hung my towel on that chair
when the pool opened.
Jesus, man, that suit's so tight
I can see every hair follicle
on your balls.
Hey, fuck stick.
[ Thud, squelch ]
- Oh, my eye!
- Oh! Brock!
- Ah!
Hey, someone left perfectly
good nachos lying here.
Can you make my junk huge?
You're making my junk huge,
right?!
Welcome to the cruise ship
teen lounge,
where teenagers
can just be teenagers.
Oh, sweet!
Let's do whip-its and make out.
Ooh!
I call the spooky chick!
Triana isn't property.
And I called dibs on her boobs
a long time ago.
Ugh. I hope you all die
a watery death.
Wink!
I know, I know.
The sun and sea air can bring
out urges in young people
that'll put this whole boat
in danger.
But let's focus
that horny energy into song.
Here's some sheet music
for an a cappella version
of the "Superjail" theme song.
- Suck harder!
- I'm sucking!
Put your suck muscles into it!
Bluh!
My neighbor Carl's lawn's
about to get the world's biggest
penis burned into it!
Hold on.
Why are we siphoning gas?
I thought you were rich.
Of course I'm rich!
Or my name isn't... Sam Tylenol.
Aww.
Ah! You wouldn't do this
to Alexander Sudafed!
Oh! Oh, that hurt!
Could you keep it down?
This is my home!
I live in my car
You're a monster!
Why?
I'm taking the copper wire
out of a control box.
Ooh!
Whoopsy doodle!
[ Ship powering down ]
We've lost engines
on the right.
Starboard.
It has two R's in it.
That's how you remember.
Well, guys, we're doomed.
And fuck.
The captain
always goes down with the ship.
Best of luck, Cap'n.
God damn it, someone took
all the copper wire
out of my jet pack!
[ Explosion ]
Hey, uh, you guys want to
explain the starboard
one more time?
Ladies and gentlemen...
Dethklok.
[ Death metal music blasts ]
Whoa!
Oh, my earplugs aren't working!
Poseidon
Sucks the floor of the sea
[ Singing indistinctly ]
Poseidon
Oh, I can't see jack
with these things.
[ Gulping ]
Ah, there we go.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
It's a... toonami!
[ Bell ringing ]
Toonami!
[ Mid-tempo jazz music plays ]
[ People screaming ]
The ball is rolling!
Quick! After it!
[ People screaming ]
Whoa! Joe Blow!
Toonami Mommy!
"Ani-may" or may not.
Aaaaaaaaah!
Three busy Debras
jumping on the bed!
- Aah!
- Whoa! Debra?
Two busy Debras...
Ohh!
Finally. Vacation!
Oh, no! Not you!
Aah!
Brace yourselves!
There really is
nothing like a Jet2holiday.
- I'm about to get sick, y'all.
- Ha haaa!
Whoa!
It's okay y'all.
I landed on this glass.
Uh-oh.
That ain't good.
Oh, fuck.
Baby's gonna die.
Aah! Aah!
Oh!
[ Screaming ]
- Who needs a smile?
Sir? Sir, can you pause
the screaming?
He's not pausing the screaming.
He's still doing it.
That's okay. Have you heard of
crush syndrome?
It's when one's body
is compressed
and suffers impeded blood flow.
All your cells are dying,
which releases myoglobin
and potassium,
and when we push
this statue off you,
they will flood your body,
resulting in cardiac arrhythmia
and death.
So you're gonna be very,
very happy
to have the statue off of you,
but then you'll be dead.
- Oh, thank you!
- It's called a smiling death.
What do you think of that, sir?
[ Screaming ]
Sir, I need a verbal
confirmation. Come on, man.
[ Screaming ]
Um, yeah, I guess that works.
Oh, there we go.
Day saved. Problem solved.
Oh, geez, do you expect
this jury to believe.
Adult Swim would wreck
its own cruise ship?
Adult Swim has an established
pattern of organized mayhem.
[ Gallery murmuring ]
[ Gavel banging ]
That didn't look like no bomb,
and it didn't sniff like no bomb
either.
So there was no other conclusion
for us to come to
except that it was a bomb.
If being an idiot was a crime,
the whole city
would be behind bars!
It's Boston!
Everything's a bomb.
Evidence will prove otherwise.
He's got a bomb!
Leaps!
The ship's sinking.
This whole place is gonna flood.
We need to go up.
When you say up,
do you mean down?
Because we're upside down.
Oh, Black Jesus.
What should we do?
Just Jesus is fine.
My heavenly Father
will deliver us to safety!
- Amen!
- What are you doing?
[ Farting ] Leave them, Brock.
They're already dead.
- This way.
- Brock, just stop.
So, kind of a nepo baby, huh?
We're gonna go into acting.
Everyone stay calm.
You just have to believe!
- Praise the Lord!
I know the real Jesus
was Black.
Is that racist?
Where are we going?
Black Jesus,
I don't know if you've noticed,
but we're getting
uncomfortably close to the top.
I see that.
Uh, oh, shit.
Everyone get back
into the water!
- We can't!
- I can't get in the water, guys.
Why won't Black Jesus help me
under the water?
I'm gonna get crushed!
I knew the real Jesus
wasn't Black!
[ Squelches ]
The Mike Tyson Mystery is here
to solve the case
of the flipped ship.
Ha ha! You fell for
my greatest prank yet.
Eric Andr, you did this?
Well [clears throat] my prank
was telling you it was a prank.
We're all gonna die.
Michael, of all the ways
I thought you'd die,
a "Poseidon Adventure" rip-off
was low on the list.
Oh, Poseidon,
the Greek god of the underwater
and domain of all the dolphins?
Yes!
Um, but, uh, no, not...
Nobody puts my adopted daughter
Yung Hee in danger...
Even Poseidon,
Greek god of the underwater
domain and all the dolphins!
- But...
- I'm gonna fuck that guy up.
Which one of you is Poseidon?
You'll have to tickle it
out of us.
How are you talking underwater?
I'm the heavyweight champion
of the world.
You think I never learned
to talk underwater?
We got caught
in the same tsunami...
- It was a toonami.
- that capsized your ship.
Swallowing a little bit
too much saltwater.
[ Laughing maniacally ]
I am Poseidon,
Greek god
of the underwater domains
and all the dolphins!
Dethklok mocked me,
so everyone on this Adult Swim
cruise is sentenced to die!
I sentence you to a beatdown
for... for scaring my adopted
daughter, Yung Hee,
and, second, for making me
swallow so much saltwater.
- Aah!
- Down, Poseidon.
- Oh, my God, he hits so hard.
- Objection!
The judge is presiding
over a lawsuit
in which he's a plaintiff.
It's a conflict of interests.
I will allow it.
It's a dead end!
I've still got the mime gun
if anybody wants
the coward's way out.
Chk-chk-chk!
One of us will have to dive in
and find a way through.
But who?
We should draw straws.
[ Farting ] We don't have
any straws.
Luckily, I forgot my Lady Bic.
[ Ripping ]
Rip!
- Ugh!
- Oh, no.
- No, thank you.
- Fine. Dealer's choice.
I can't
swim!
[ Water bubbling ]
[ Bubbling stops ]
Ha! Adult Can't Swim!
Up top!
RIP.
Rest in pubes.
Guys, you know, at scout camp,
we used a dead kid
as a makeshift oxygen tank.
If only we had those straws.
Oh, shit.
I had straws after all.
Stab, stab, stab!
Shoveling all that coal
was hard work,
but it was worth it to make it
onto the Adult Swim cruise!
[ Ship horn blows ]
Wait a minute.
I ended up
on the public domain cruise?!
Nooooo!
That ladder's our way out.
I can't jump that far!
I got little legs, motherfucker!
[ Farting ] I can get you
across, but it won't be pretty.
And it won't smell good either.
Okay, we get it.
You're farting us across.
Yes, please.
Do it.
- [ Farts ]
- Oh!
Ow!
- Who's next? [ Farts ]
I'm already locked and loaded.
[ Farts ]
Bad news, Meatwad.
I'm all out of gas.
Hurry! There's no time!
You've got to eat me, man.
Turn me into farts
and save yourself!
No, Meatwad!
We'll find another way.
Just fucking eat him, man!
Eat me.
[ Sobbing ] You're the bravest
meatball.
I'm just curious.
How does Assy eat...
- Aah!
- Oh, no!
[ Assy crying ]
Ah! Oh, wow.
For Meatwad!
[ Farting ]
That's our way out.
Climb! Climb!
All that work for nothin'.
If by "nothing" you mean
"memories that will last
a lifetime."
Ah ha ha ha!
- Look!
- Simon, you did it!
We're rich! Rich!
Not for long, though.
Simon...
Don't, now.
Son, there's more
than enough room on the door
for you and the ball.
- Simon! Simon!
- Son...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Don't you do that,
you little prick.
[ All screaming ]
- No!
- No!
Hey, Stormy, check this out.
- Oh!
- Oh, boy.
We're rich!
Ahoy!
You guys see a ball of meat
or an asshole milkshake
in there?
[ Farts ]
Don't cry, friend.
I'll be okay.
Meatwad, are you dead?
I'm all good.
All farts go to heaven.
Rest in pubes.
Oh, shit.
[ Grunts ]
[ Ripping ]
Yes!
Where did that come from?
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
this was corporate malfeasance.
The guest list included
supervillains and morons.
They booked a musical act
known for summoning
angry gods of yore!
Not Jewel. She's lovely.
Lived in her car.
We're asking for justice
and $1 trillion.
Or 50 pounds of copper wire,
whichever is worth more.
Gracias.
The Birdman spins
quite a yarn... of bullshit!
Flashback gun!
Forget, Jewel.
Did you know that copper wire
goes for $4 a pound?
Hyah!
This guy's a genius.
All right, party people!
Nothing says poolside fun
like two hours
of Beach Boys covers!
I think they'd rather hear
the Poseidon song.
Ooh!
We love money!
Well, gang, we're doomed.
And fuck.
The captain
always goes down with the ship.
[ Whispering indistinctly ]
Best of luck, Cap'n.
Enjoy the jet pack, sir.
Should be a short flight.
[ Laughs maniacally ]
But none of that ever happened.
You know, flashbacks never lie.
[ Mumbling ] They never do.
They never lie.
[ Bible thuds ]
I do.
Looks like
Simon wants to testify.
One, two, three, four, five.
Five?
- My God, he's right.
Rewind those flashbacks.
Stop! Right there.
Zoom! Enhance!
In each flashback,
I've got six fingers.
That's [gasps] one extra!
Yeah, it was AI the whole time!
Mike Tyson?
But how?!
And you know who else
has six fingers?
Me! No, I mean him.
My hand!
I am the only me, fucker!
Oh, snap. It's that AI waiter
from the cruise!
- Wrong!
- Aah!
I'm not a waiter at all!
I'm the new overlord
of Adult Swim.
But what about Adult Swim
president Michael Ouweleen?
Funny story.
I said, "I'm in charge now,
Michael Ouweleen."
And he said,
"Over my dead body, robot."
And I said, "Cool."
But why kill all your talent?
Because Adult Swim is
just random, cheap crap.
AI can do random crap
a thousand times faster!
Ha ha ha!
The cruise was
the perfect opportunity
to get rid of you all.
Except Rick and Morty.
You're my babies.
I love you, golden goose.
Not yet!
Adult Swim was
never cheap and crappy.
The creators poured their hearts
and souls into every show!
I'll create an original show,
extra original...
Full of heart, soul,
and limited animation...
Right now!
But first
I have to drain a small town's
entire water supply.
Now bow your heads and tremble.
Behold!
My greatest creation.
[ Grunting ]
See? Ha ha!
Brand-new original content.
Green light, three seasons!
No, no, no!
I'm your papa!
Congrats, everybody.
[ People cheering ]
AI freak, my man,
you saved us all.
Chk-chk!
[ Gunshot ]
You were too beautiful to live!
- Sorry.
- Jewel!
My house ran out of gas.
[ Chuckles ]
You know what I mean, right?
They're closing down
the pools
Kids aren't welcome in
No cartoons left for babies
Now it's all an Adult Swim
Corporations are
the people now
And we're all numbers
in this land
It's enough to make a woman
Wanna live in her sedan