Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling (2019) Movie Script

That was a hoot!
Rocko's modern life
Rocko's Modern Life.
900 bazillion bottles
Of root beer on the wall
900 bazillion bottles
Of root beer
Take one down...
899 bazillion bottles
Of root beer on the wall
Hmm, pretty sure
there was more to that.
Now, through the miracle
of my amazing superpowers,
let us move forward 20 years
to the modern day
through my nipples of the future!
Oh, mmm-hmm.
Pass it around
One bottle of root beer
On the wall
One bottle of root beer
Take one down
Pass it around
Zero bottles of root beer
On the wall
Twenty years later,
and he finally finishes that stupid song.
She'll be
Wearing pink pajamas when she comes
She'll be wearing pink pajamas
When she comes
Is it time, Rocko?
Almost! Are the snacks ready?
Consider it done!
- Filburt!
- I'll prepare the viewing area.
I can't wait to see
My favorite show
Mmm! Sofa snacks are looking good today!
A little closer...
Hmm. A little to the right.
Ah, fish sticks. Too far!
Ooh, that's nice.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whee!
- Excitement!
- Let's go, Rock!
- We're ready!
- Come on, Rock.
Almost there, fellas!
Here I come!
It's time for our favorite show!
The Fatheads!
Whoo! Fatheads!
Fatheads, Fatheads,
Fatheads, Fatheads!
The Fatheads,
created by Ralph Bighead.
We must have watched this
1,000 times by now,
and I still go crazy for it!
I wonder
what kind of ridiculousness
the Fatheads will get into now, eh?
Let's take a look.
Good morning, dear!
Dear, gooding morn!
Stop kissing me!
I've got morning breath.
Isn't it great how some things
never change?
My favorite show
with my favorite friends.
Edward Elias Fathead,
you pick up that regurgitated foot
this instant!
But I did it last time!
Hey, why aren't you guys laughing?
What happened?
Oh, crikey.
That was our only tape.
Oh, no.
You killed it.
Ooh, we're passing Earth again!
Sure is big.
Oh, I bet O-Town is wonderful these days,
hey, Heff?
I wonder if anyone misses us.
I would miss you, Rocko.
Ooh! Not to mention Chokey Chicken!
Uh, Heffer?
What is that stuck to your butt?
Huh? Oh, hey!
It's the remote for the rocket.
Give me that.
Hey, it's got a re-entry button?
You're telling me
that the key to getting us home
has been stuck to your butt
for 20 years?
How do you not notice these things?
Well, it's not like I can see
my own butt, Filburt.
Uh, guys? We're passing Earth.
And what are you trying
to say, Filburt?
That you're fat, Heffer.
You're an oversized growth hormone!
I am a steer!
We're gonna miss our chance!
You never pay attention to anything!
To what, your butt?
Push the button!
- Yeah, sure, Rocko.
- Yeah.
- Whatever you say.
- You don't have to freak out.
Oh, R-E-C-Y-C-L-E, recycle
We're home.
Let's frolic innocently in nature!
Uh, fellas?
I don't think we're in the '90s anymore.
Rocko's modern life
Rocko's Modern Life.
Rocko's modern life
Rocko's Modern Life.
Check it out! I got the new O-Phone 8.
Big whoop.
I just got the new O-Phone 9.
This is a phone?
But where are all the buttons?
Who's ready to get Schlam-O'd?
I got ya!
Schlam-O power drink! It's radioactive!
- Huh?
- Whoa.
My old job.
But where's the door?
Where are the comics?
Whoa! This food truck
sells pizza tacos!
I got a wiener taco.
I got a taco taco inside another taco.
What did you get, Rocko?
Food poisoning.
No more games.
This time, it's personal.
It's so realistic.
Whoo! Go.
Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Rocko's modern life
Rocko's Modern Life.
Rocko's modern life
The 21st century
is a very dangerous century.
Who are you talking to, darling?
Rocko, snap out of it!
Oh, the neighborhood
hasn't been the same
since you blasted off into space.
Oh, yeah?
We have so much to catch up on!
Here, why don't you watch a little TV,
and I'll make you
a nice glass of warm milk?
Don't go away!
Thank you, Mrs. Bighead.
Call me Bev!
Yeah, this is just what I need.
I'm gonna find some episodes
of The Fatheads.
We's gonna need some more
soda pop or something, Mama.
Don't know where they all came from.
You must have been busy.
I have been busy.
And a one, and a two,
and a one, and a two!
Tonight, on Ghost Cake...
Look, there's one now!
Are you getting this?
You gotta get this!
Fat Cats in Tiny Houses.
Oh, I'm stuck.
Uh, Bev?
Do you know what channel
The Fatheads are on?
Ew. Oh.
That's been off the air for years now.
No Fatheads?
Yes, darling, not even reruns.
People these days only want their cartoons
in the, you know, fancy widescreen,
uh, you know, PhD.
No Fatheads? No Fatheads?
Oh, it looks like
you haven't any groceries.
Why don't you come over
to our house for lunch?
We can catch up then.
No Fatheads?
Ed's coming home for lunch.
Oh, he'll just be thrilled
that you're back!
- Stinkerman!
- Hi, Mr. B.
- Wrinklesmith!
- Hi, Mr. B.
- Schmut!
- Mr. B.
- Floogleberry!
- Mr. B.
- Lugeberg.
- Hi, Mr. B.
Rubeberg. How are the kids?
I... don't know!
Afternoon, boys.
Good afternoon, Mr. B.
Howdy, Mr. B.!
Hardly working, Ninneman?
Just scanning
the daily doc-Os, Mr. B.
Well, here's one for you.
100% accurate, per usual.
I'll get right on it.
Attaboy, Ninneman.
Well, I'm off to lunch.
What's our golden rule, boys?
Never clock in overtime!
Music to my ears!
I love my job.
We're broke! We're doomed!
Attention, the end is here.
Panic now. I repeat, panic now.
Conglom-O's out of business!
Move, move, move, move!
Gee, who's that
sharp-dressed guy
In the smart bowtie
I'm someone special
I am Edward Bighead
I take big meetings
I take the punches
An executive has the right
To take long lunches
I'm so disarming
My life is charming
I've had this smile upon my face
Since Rocko left for outer space
The neighborhood's changed
It's a little deranged
Well, one thing stays the same
That's Edward Bighead
Hey, get out of the road, you maniac!
Can't you see I'm driving here?
Come on, come on, come on!
Move it! Time is money!
Oh, pollywog! I'm home!
Oh, my big, strong toad!
I've got a special surprise
planned for lunch.
A special surprise, eh?
I bet I can guess what it is.
Ed, will you get that?
Mr. Bighead,
Nosey of Newschunk News here.
How does it feel,
knowing your math mistake
has just taken down
all of Conglom-O?
I haven't made a mistake in 20 years.
I'm too big to fail!
And since Conglom-O makes up
95% of our city's economy,
O-Town is doomed.
Oh, hang on a second, folks.
This just in, Ed's boss, Mr. Dupette,
has just issued
the following statement.
"Bighead, you're fired!"
Oh, no,
that sounds serious.
Fired? But I...
Hello. We're here to make room
for the new unemployment office.
You have 24 hours
before we demolish your house.
- Have a nice...
- Gah!
This isn't happening.
Say this isn't happening!
I must be having a nightmare.
Hi, Mr. Bighead.
Long time, no see.
Ed, honey,
I invited Rocko over for lunch.
I hope you don't mind.
Excuse me.
What's wrong with Mr. Bighead?
Oh, just that his life is crumbling
like a dry manure pile in the hot sun
and he sees no hope,
that's all.
I can relate.
I can't watch my favorite
TV show, The Fatheads.
Yeah, yeah, The Fatheads. That's right.
Your son Ralph made it.
Maybe he can help me out?
Ralphie... My boy...
Even with all the success
of The Fatheads,
I'm just not happy.
I need to get away for a while,
do some real soul-searching,
and find the real me.
I promise I'll write.
Good luck, son.
I packed a fly sandwich for you, dear.
Rocko, honey, Ralph went off
to find himself years ago.
Oh. Excuse me.
I... I have to go check
on the mashed potato bugs.
This is terrible!
No more Ralph means no more Fatheads.
Mr. Bighead, please.
There must be something you can do
to bring them...
I mean, him back.
Your Ralphie needs you.
I need you!
His show is all I have!
Uh, oh, uh...
Uh, sorry.
Rocko, an old cartoon
isn't going to solve
the kinds of problems you have.
Mr. Bighead,
The Fatheads wasn't just a cartoon.
Your son created a cultural icon
that resonated with millions of people!
There's a huge audience out there
clamoring for this show to come back,
and whoever gives it to them
is going to make millions...
no, billions!
Oh, Rocko, you're a genius!
Ralph can make Conglom-O
a new Fatheads special!
It'll be a huge hit.
It'll save my job, my house,
and all of O-Town!
And I can watch my old show again!
They'll never listen to me.
I've just been fired!
But you! You're a fan,
and today's fans have power!
I need you to email-text
that ram-toodle-schmuck
schmeepen-bloop your support
to bring back The Fatheads.
Or we could just go talk to them.
Now, Rocko, Mr. Dupette is very,
let's say, um, particular.
I knew a beaver
was gonna kill me someday.
Grandpa, you're already dead, remember?
I'll tell you when I'm dead!
Why, back in my day,
when you were dead,
you were really dead.
Not this...
Where'd you go, Rocko?
Heffer and I went gluten-free,
I've reunited with my lovely wife.
Hi, Rocko!
I've upgraded, accessorized,
and interfaced my platforms,
plus reset and forgotten
so many passwords,
I think I'm going viral!
We're awaiting test results.
Sorry to interrupt
your little tea party,
but we're only dealing with
the fate of the entire town
right now!
Mr. Bighead and I are gonna
bring back The Fatheads.
- You guys should come along.
- Neat!
Sorry, Heffer promised
we'd look after his grandfather's ghost
for the afternoon.
Grandpa possessed another lawn gnome!
Try and catch me, fatso!
Oh, woe is me!
I'm ruined!
Whatever shall I do?
I've lost everything
but my sweet, sweet,
booger jar.
Um, Mr. Dupette?
What more do you people
want from me?
It's, um...
It's, uh, Ed Bighead, sir.
Ed Bighead?
- Oh!
- What are you doing here?
I thought I just fired you!
Oh, yes, sir.
You did, you did, but I, uh...
We think we can save
your company, Mr. Dupette.
What is that, Bighead?
Is that a mouse?
I'm a wallaby.
Um, Mr. Dupette,
do you think Conglom-O TV
could bring back The Fatheads?
The Fatheads?
The Fatheads?
That show sold millions of toys
and fruit squishies, didn't it?
Yes, I'll bring back The Fatheads.
Why didn't I think of it sooner?
I'll get my people on this
right away!
You... your people?
Uh, well, we were thinking
we could get Mr. Bighead's
son Ralph to make it.
After all, he created The Fatheads.
Too expensive!
Conglom-O is broke!
We might even have to sell
the men's executive washroom toilet
to make this thing.
My people can do it cheap.
They have computers.
Oh, yes, a Fatheads refresh!
- So chic!
- So retro!
We make many a TV show.
Away, riff-raff creature!
Make art is easy with computers.
Oh, so easy!
Bighead, you're re-hired.
If this thing flops...
This is my last chance, Rocko.
This cartoon has to be good.
But, Mr. Bighead,
if Ralph doesn't make The Fatheads,
the special will flop.
Those guys will ruin The Fatheads!
Okay, Mr. Bighead, Heffer, Filburt and I
will go find Ralph.
You stall the chameleons.
Don't let them release that cartoon!
Little beaver thing!
I'm a wallaby.
Congratulations on your fabulous idea
to save O-Town by bringing back
The Fatheads.
What do you have to say
to your adoring fans?
Fans? I just wanted to see
new Fatheads.
We love Rocko!
We love Rocko!
We love Rocko!
That's him!
I just wanted my show back!
You heard it here first, folks.
O-Town is saved!
Did you get the shot?
Hello, Internets.
It's me, FishSticks96,
with my trusty selfie-o-matic
cranial attachment.
My reality is virtual!
We're going on an epic quest
to find the great
Ralph Bighead.
It's too real!
The details! Whoa!
Subscribe to my channel
to follow our inspirational...
The grotesquerie!
The horror!
I want my mommy!
Spunky! Get away from that Internet thing!
It'll hurt you!
Oh, Rocko, darling!
I have something
to share with you!
It's about my little Ralphie.
Do you know where he went?
Well, my boy sends picture postcards
to his dear mother.
China, Egypt, Italy...
Oh, uh, that's not supposed
to be there.
Looks like he's been
all over the world.
And this is the last picture
I have of him.
Oh, bring back
my little tadpole, Rocko.
His mother and father
miss him so very much.
I want to, Mrs. Bighead,
but how are we gonna get
to all these places?
Why don't we just take the rocket?
We found the remote, remember?
Sorry. Too much kale salad.
Ham dog!
Spunky, what is it, boy?
Do you know
how to find Ralph?
Did you just lose
your remote-controlled
flying mechanism?
Well, you're in luck!
You strike me as the kind of couple
that knows a quality drone
when you see it.
Let me interest you
in our econo-drone.
Excuse me.
Have you seen this toad?
Can't an elephant bathe in peace?
You nasty, nasty tourists!
Thank you.
- Have you seen him?
- No!
Yes, we've seen him.
No, we haven't!
No, we haven't.
Can I go for a ride?
Yes, you can.
No, he can't!
No, no, you can't.
Nope. Haven't seen him.
No, absolutely not!
How will we ever find Ralph?
I think we're out of places to look.
I think I'm out of witty banter.
I think we're out of batteries.
Pillows, culturally ambiguous pillows,
soft and fluffy.
We're okay.
We're okay!
We're okay!
Work harder, you worms!
They're making a cartoon?
Shouldn't they be using
pencils or something?
Welcome to the 21st century, Bighead!
We have the best computers, ja?
We can make anything
in a passionless and cheap way.
I'm sweating, I'm hot, I'm nauseous.
Oh, now we'll never find Ralph Bighead.
This is just terrible, Heff.
I'll say. I'm not getting
any cell phone reception out here.
Do you see what I see?
Fried chicken dancing with pizza slices
around an orange soda fountain?
No, not the mirage.
That thing!
Ice cream truck!
Would you guys like
an ice-cold pop?
You betcha!
Here you go.
Thank you.
How about you?
Your voice sounds so familiar...
You're Ralph Bighead!
We've been looking all over
the world for you, Ralph!
- Really?
- Yeah, really, like, sheesh.
Why would you be looking for me?
Well, you see,
we've been gone for quite some time...
Thank you!
Oh, boy.
See, we were floating
around the universe
for the past 20 years...
Oh, that's good.
Oh, I really needed this.
Um, well, what Filburt's trying to say is
everything's changed so much
that I just need one thing
that used to be here.
Would you bring back The Fatheads,
or at least a special?
Yeah, I don't think so.
Wait! But you're the only one
in the world who could...
Ralph! Ralph!
Ralph, wait!
Why not?
Why would I bring back The Fatheads?
I'm not about cartoons anymore.
Now I only sell Fatheads freezy-pops.
Here, have one.
But this doesn't even
look like Mr. Fathead.
That's because it's Mrs. Fathead.
They're off-model, but they sell.
Get off my truck, Rocko.
If Conglom-O doesn't have a new hit,
then your dad will lose his job,
but most importantly,
your parents will
lose their house!
Their house?
Who's got little tadpole tootsies?
Aww, he damaged my retina.
I'll do it for my parents,
but since the last time
I saw them,
I've... changed.
I'm not Ralph anymore.
I'm Rachel.
Wow, cool!
That is awesome.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's go!
Where to?
Conglom-O, Heff!
- Roger.
- Roger?
I thought your name was Rachel.
Away we go!
Hello! I'm talking to you.
Are you listening?
Oh, yes, I am listening.
That is not the right line.
Oh, isn't it funny?
I am laughing so hard right now.
If I had pants,
I would be wetting them.
It stinks.
Bighead, open a window.
Huh? Oh, yes, sir.
She'll be riding six white horses
She'll be riding six white horses
Ah, a little fresh air.
Good idea.
Pillows, culturally ambiguous pillows,
soft and fluffy.
I think I broke my leg.
You don't have a leg.
You will receive our invoice!
No, no, wait a minute.
Bighead, why did you convince me
to hire those idiots?
We obviously need the creator
to do this right!
We sent for him.
He should be here...
We're back!
I like your efficiency, Bighead.
Oh, just in time.
Bighead, nice to meet you.
Cool shoes.
We need you to work your magic.
Your father will fill you in
on all the details.
Ed, you're still in charge.
Make this happen.
Hello, son?
Hi, Dad.
Welp, I'm going on vacation.
This is the most work
I've done in years.
Good luck, Bigheads!
Let me know
when the special's done!
But what... what goes on here?
Where's my son?
I'm not your son. I'm your daughter,
and I'm finally happy.
This is crazy!
Ah! I can't do this.
I have no daughter!
My son made the show.
No son, no show.
There will be no Fatheads special.
I quit!
Rachel, I'm sure he didn't mean
those things.
Uh, Mr. Bighead?
But what about Conglom-O?
Who cares?
Wait! Mr. Bighead,
I need a Fatheads special!
I can't do it!
I can't handle all of this,
this... this... this...
Hey, can anybody break a five?
All this change stops now!
Wait! Mr. Bighead...
Why don't you go back to the '90s,
where you belong?
Come back, Mr. Bighead!
Rocko, how does it feel
to have single-handedly
brought down Conglom-O
and therefore all of O-Town?
I just wanted my show back.
Down with Rocko!
Down with Rocko!
- Down with Rocko!
- Rocko stole my socks!
There he is!
That's the dog who brought down O-Town!
I'm a wallaby!
Yeah, the nerve of them.
Geez, you're right, Rocko.
You're the wallaby
who brought down O-Town.
Whoops. Sorry.
Well, I'm outta here.
Rachel, wait!
I'm sure your dad
didn't mean all of that.
No, Rocko, I'm done.
I'm not needed here.
I'll go back to selling freezy-pops.
Rachel, wait!
Well, that was sad.
I know! I really wanted
another Fatheads freezy-pop.
Oh, Ed, I wish you'd be more open-minded.
I think it's great
what Rachel has done.
I'm sure she's much more
comfortable with herself.
Plus, I just found these shoes
in her size.
Aren't they adorable?
It's not just that, Bev.
I've lost my job,
I'm losing my house, and now,
Ralph is Rachel?
I'm suffering from
an extreme case of TMC,
Too Much Change!
Is there a window open?
I can't believe this.
Everything is so different,
and now I can't even watch
The Fatheads again.
Aww, cheer up, Rocko.
There's lots of entertainment to be had.
Yeah, Rocko.
Don't underestimate
the hours of fun we can have
making warped selfies!
Pose it! Pose it!
Click it, click it!
Head swap!
Hey, you've gained
a little weight, Filburt.
Hey, shell boy.
Don't forget to spawn.
Technology is fun.
Who's got little tadpole tootsies?
He damaged my retina.
Another shipment of mops.
Oh, Spunky.
At least you'll always
stay the same.
Mr. Bighead?
Are you on the roof?
Go away.
Mr. Bighead,
I'm not feeling too good, either.
Oh, Rocko, leave me alone.
I'm a failure.
I feel like
I let everyone down.
You let yourself down, Mr. Bighead.
You can live
without the old job,
and you can live without your house,
but you can't live without
a relationship with your child.
Who are you?
I am the "whinds" of change.
Will you cut that out?
We do not need your wind.
Why are you here,
Mr. Whinds of Change?
I am here to tell you
that embracing change
is the key to happiness.
You must go with
the whinds of change.
Listen, Mr. Blowhard,
I don't like your wind,
and I don't like change,
so why don't you just
take your bogus breeze
and float away?
Yeah, I don't like change
either, Mr. Whinds.
I'm also having a hard time.
You see, I was stuck in space
for 20 years, and...
Let me tell you
something else philosophical
from my latest online book.
You see, the nature
of change is...
Excuse me a moment.
I have to take that.
Yeah, um, yeah.
Uh, what?
Oh, yes, of course.
Uh, it's for you, Rocko.
Me? Oh, uh...
Uh, hello?
Rocko, where you been?
We've been trying to reach you.
Oh, me? Uh, well,
we're here on the roof,
and the, uh,
whinds of change is here.
She did it, Rocko!
Rachel finished
the Fatheads special!
They're gonna put it on the air
in ten minutes, Rocko.
Come on down to Conglom-O and see it!
Yeah, there's a party, and popcorn,
and they're showing the special
on a huge screen.
Give it back, you fat bovine!
I got more to say, shell-back!
And there's sauce from Bora Bora.
Uh, well, I don't know.
I think Mr. Bighead needs me.
And, Rocko, Rachel is here!
We gotta go now, Rock.
We're having technical difficulties.
I am taking the phone!
No, you doesn't!
Give me the phone, Filburt!
So then I said,
"Is that a melon in your pocket,
or just a bad case of..."
Well, that's unfortunate.
Rachel finished the Fatheads special,
Mr. Bighead.
They're airing it in a few minutes,
and they're showing it at Conglom-O.
You go, Rocko.
You probably made it happen.
I sure didn't.
You're going with me.
There's no way you'll ever get me
to go down there...
Oh, wait. What... what...
what are you doing?
Sorry, Mr. Bighead,
but you've got a party to attend!
Unhand me!
Let me go! Let me go!
Whinds of change,
blow us to
the premiere party, please!
Well, I still had some more
whords of whisdom,
but okay.
Oh, that wind came out of the wrong end.
Oh, little weenie man! Yoo-hoo!
And that's why I decided
to have that work done, dear.
It's much firmer.
Hey, look, here comes Rocko!
Hey, Rock.
You... you brought potatoes?
It's Mr. Bighead.
Get your hands off me!
Take your seats, everyone!
The first Fatheads special
in 20 years
is about to begin.
Yeah, Fatheads!
Hey, everybody.
Who's stuck in
a nostalgia hole, huh?
We are!
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet the Fatheads.
Oh, I love the Fatheads!
It's genius!
Those Fatheads
are oh-so-funny, eh?
But look, what's this?
There appears to be
a new Fathead.
A baby Fathead.
What? A baby Fathead?
There's no baby Fathead.
We want the old Fatheads.
Isn't he a cutie?
Oh, look, baby Fathead
is playing with the vacuum!
And he's so cute!
I just want to...
Oh, look,
it appears that there's
a touching moment
with baby Fathead
and his parents.
Let's watch.
Who's the cutest
little baby Fathead?
Who's got little tadpole tootsies?
Oh, look, he's damaged my retina.
So long, hosers.
Thank you, thank you.
I just want to thank
all the little people.
Yeah, hooray.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
Listen to me.
This is not right!
This isn't just new Fatheads,
it's different Fatheads!
We can't like this.
You changed it, Rachel.
You changed The Fatheads!
It's too much change.
Rocko, let me tell you something.
The nature of change is...
Let me take this, Mr. Gassy Cloud-Thing,
whatever you are.
Rocko, we can't live in the past.
We can be grateful for it,
but life isn't permanent,
and if we don't embrace what's now,
we miss out on a lot
of the important stuff.
I guess change is okay.
Ooh, let's sing a song about change!
Ah, change is still caca.
It's raining money!
Hey! Conglom-O profits,
free for the taking!
Hup, hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup.
This is the fruit
of capitalist redundancy!
Isn't all of this looting illegal?
What do you mean?
Everybody's happy!
We love this country!
So long!
Bye, Rocko.
Rachel, that was terrific.
Thank you.
Are you going back
to selling Fathead pops?
No, I've got more important things
to do now.
This kind of looks like you
first thing in the morning.
I resemble that comment.
Oh, Ed.
- So long!
- Good luck.
Well, it's your old boy, FishSticks96,
at the end of my journey.
I hope to someday meet
my five loyal subscribers.
You can!
My family!
I love you!
I love you, Grandpa.
Eh, you still smell like sweaty eggs.
Well, what an exciting ending,
but let's talk to the one
who made it all happen,
Really Really Big Man.
Big, how does it feel
to send everyone
on this amazing journey
with your superpowers?
Oh. It's my duty.
But I must say,
my nipples sure are tired.
Understandably so.
Well, there you have it.
From the ruins of Conglom-O
in O-Town,
this is Nosey, signing off.
And now, a fluffy badger.
2,001 boogers on the wall
2,001 boogers
Pick one out
And flick it off
2,002 boogers on the wall
2,002 boogers on the wall
2,002 boogers