Roll With It (2023) Movie Script

1
When life is too much
Roll with it, baby
Don't stop
and lose your touch
Oh, no, baby
Hard times
knocking on your door...
Forget something, Ma?
-Keys.
-Your lunch?
Oh, that, too. Wonderful.
Thank you for making that.
-Keys are on the table.
-Oh. Of course they are.
Okay, big meeting
at the Biscuit Barrel.
I'm so excited.
Nick says come in early,
he has to talk to us.
And you're gonna put in
job applications today?
I don't know
how I could fill 'em out
-with my hands like this.
-Spencer.
You know
what your dad would say.
Drive it or sell it.
I'm gonna drive it, Mom.
Love you, too.
And just roll with it, baby
You and me
Roll with it, baby
Hang on and just
roll with it, baby
Hey
The way that you love
Is good as money...
Oh, come on.
Okay, Lord, I know
you're a very,
very, very busy person,
and I appreciate that,
but I really, really,
really would appreciate it
if you would unlock
my stinkin' door, okay?
And I'm gonna
thank you in advance.
You can make it...
Really?
This is how we're
gonna start the day?
-Okay.
-When this world
Turns its back on you,
hang in
And do
that sweet thing you do
You just roll with it, baby
Yeah, you just
Roll with it, baby
Come on and just
roll with it, baby
You and me,
just roll with it, baby.
And I'm all out of love...
Hey! Taylor Swifty!
Miley Cyrus,
you're in my parking spot!
Sorry. There's a lady
yelling at me.
I think she's drunk
or something. What'd you say?
You're in my parking spot!
Oh
Said I'm all out of...
All out of love...
Oh, gross.
Nick, I am not late for today.
I'm early for tomorrow,
and I bind that in Jesus' name.
I told you
I needed you here at 7:45.
Still not late.
Today we are celebrating
the birthday
of someone very special.
Any guesses
on who that might be?
I'll offer a hint.
Someone is turning 75 today,
the big seven-five.
The correct answer
is Biscuit Barrel.
That's right.
Our beloved little country
river restaurant is growing up.
And growing means change
to ensure a brighter--
say it with me...
...future.
Who's ready to...
...celebrate?
Hey.
You're the girl
with the black Soul.
Bonnie, that ain't right.
No, I think
she's talking about my car.
So, team, uh, this is
just as good a time as any
to introduce
our new employee, Samantha.
Nick, I, for one, would like
to be the first to say
that I highly approve of these
changes that you're making.
Well, maybe
you can get her to move
her racing minivan
out of my parking spot.
Now, Bonnie, hang on.
She probably just has
first-day jitters
and she didn't see
the very well-marked sign
out front that says
"Assistant Manager."
Oh, no, I saw the sign.
I parked in it because
I am the new assistant manager.
Whoa, sister.
I'm the assistant manager.
You were
the old assistant manager.
Uh, meeting adjourned!
Cake?
Yeah, I'll have a corner piece.
-Nick!
-Yep?
Looks like it's about to get
slightly uncomfortable.
Seven years, Nick.
I have five biscuits
on this badge.
You can keep your biscuits,
but I'm gonna need the badge.
You know I need this job.
Please, Bonnie.
I'm not a monster.
Waitress?
It's waitress now?
It's a lateral promotion.
It's a demotion.
Look at the glass as half full.
Oh, the glass
is full of baloney.
Why didn't you
tell me this earlier?
I did! I tried. Kinda.
Remember when I told you
to be here at 7:45?
Yeah.
I was gonna tell you in
private, but...
-Oh.
-Pretty certain I'll be getting
-biscuit number three any day
now.
-Oh, wow.
-Wow. That's-that's poor timing.
Get lost, Judas.
Yep.
Must moonwalk
back into the office.
Stop right there, Nick.
And what makes you think
you're qualified
to be the assistant manager
of the Biscuit Barrel?
I will have you know
that I was assistant manager
at my previous job in Atlanta.
Hooters.
I doubt that, honey.
No, it's true.
Not that I was there,
if that's what you're thinking,
because I wasn't. Maybe.
You can't just waltz in here
and take my parking spot
and my job.
Okay, Bonnie. Don't be a hater.
Oh.
In 30 seconds,
you just confirmed to me
everything I suspected
about your generation.
In 30 seconds,
you just confirmed
everything I suspected
about the laws of gravity.
Ladies, please.
-Holster the claws.
-Oh, you started this, Nick.
You know what?
You're right, Nick.
I'm sorry. I'm not here
to argue with you, Bonnie.
I am here to team-build.
Something I'm really excited
to bring here
to the Biscuit Barrel,
team-building.
So I will see you out there,
Bonnie, okay?
TTYL, guys.
"TTY..."
Oh, BMW, AC/DC,
R2-D2 to you, too.
Ambitious, huh?
Oh, I had
a much more spirited adjective
-in my head.
-Oh.
Hey, I'm Bonnie. Looks like
I'll be your waitress today.
-How's it going this morning?
-Well, so far, so good. Just...
Oh, you know,
it doesn't really matter.
It couldn't be any worse
than what I've been
going through.
Well, I hope it gets better...
Yep, can only go up from here.
And so I imagine
she's gonna need a...
High chair.
What are you doing?
This is my table.
I'm just going above and beyond
for the customers.
It's not my job.
It's my pleasure.
"It's not my job.
It's my pleasure."
I've got this, job wrecker.
This is Samantha.
She's new, and she's just
trying a little bit too hard.
I'm not trying
too hard, Bonnie.
It's just the way that I am.
So, you guys have
a great lunch.
This is gonna be a long day.
I see you got
the barrel of biscuits.
If anybody's looking for me,
I'm hiding out.
Oh, you know I got you, B.
-Where is she?
-Right behind me.
Hey, Harry.
Oh, honey.
It's your first day.
I have a terrible group
at table five.
They're mean.
Oh, they are, but I just
refilled their drinks,
and I gave them
a fresh barrel of biscuits.
Thank you, Ruby.
Well, I think
I bought you five minutes,
so just regroup,
and then rally up,
because you got this, girl.
We are not gonna give
that little job-stealer
that satisfaction
of watching you fall apart,
not on my watch.
We still got
some of those left, huh?
You know, I came here two years
ago, we had 20 CDs to sell.
I think it's safe to say
that we now got 20 CDs to sell.
What about the ones we gave
to the underprivileged kids?
-They gave 'em back.
-Man. Cold-blooded.
Don't take it personal,
Jaxson, but, um,
yeah, we just got to lose
whatever's not moving.
You know, as you can see,
there's changes afoot
-at the Biscuit Barrel.
-Uh-huh.
Got to keep up
or get left behind.
-You know what I mean?
-Yeah.
Take this box on home, okay?
Great. Go, team.
Bonnie, table five
is looking for you.
No, Nick, I got it. I got it.
Is your name Bonnie?
You know the crazy thing
about Nashville?
It's one day
you're touring the world.
You're dating all kind
of exotic chicks
with low self-esteem
and daddy issues,
and then 20 years later,
you're working
behind a cash register
at the Biscuit Barrel,
30 miles outside of town.
I like your CD. I bought one.
-Really?
-Yeah.
That's sweet of you.
Okay, my radio's been broken
in my car for a long time,
and the only thing that works
is the CD player,
and your CD has been
stuck in there,
so for a year,
you've been
the soundtrack of my life.
Thank you.
I think.
There's a lot about this day
that really sucks.
I mean, a lot of suckingness
going on in my life
right now, Ben.
At work, Nick...
He's got some
little-miss-young-thing
that's come in now,
says she works cheaper
and she can make
all the changes that we need
to keep up with the Joneses
or the Jetsons
or the Kardashians
or something like that.
And Spencer...
I think he's stuck.
"Stagnant" would be
the right word.
And stagnant would...
describe my love life.
Let's just face it.
There's probably never
gonna be another stud muffin
quite like you, darlin'.
Of course,
you were a little more muffin
than stud there at the end,
but I didn't mind.
I just miss you so much.
And I don't know
when that ever goes away.
Grief doesn't necessarily
have an expiration, Bonnie.
Oh, Ernie.
I'm so sorry.
I thought I was alone.
You probably think I'm crazy
sitting here,
talking to Ben like this.
No. Ben was a good guy,
really good.
I'm sure he appreciates it.
Besides, it's only crazy
if you tell me
he's talking back.
Well, you have
a fantastic day, Bonnie.
Okay.
Okay.
Nobody wants
to steal you anyway.
Tax lien?
Tax lien?
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still
remember me?
I must be traveling on now
Too many places I gotta see
If I stay here
-Good to see you, bro.
-See you next time.
With you, girl
Things just
couldn't be the same
Hey
'Cause I'm as free
As a bird now
Hey
And this bird
will never change...
Mom?
Mom?
You in your prayer closet?
Or doughnut closet.
Whichever one
you're needing more.
Rough night?
Ugh.
Rough everything.
I'm just feeling really lost
without him right now.
Yeah. I miss Dad, too.
We got this.
We're still Team Taylor, right?
Like Magic and Bird.
You know they play for
two different teams, right?
I'm not even sure
what sport they play.
Well, how 'bout
a little something
to take the edge off
the impending sugar coma?
Thank you, hon.
Mm.
Do you remember when you used
to camp out in this closet?
I would get up
in the middle of the night
and just lay beside you
and watch you sleep.
I'd wake up, and you'd
just be staring at me.
One time, you got
really close to my face,
and you said, "Mom, I can
see myself in your eyeballs."
Those were good days.
Yeah.
Those were
some good campouts, Mom.
Look, I'm gonna shoot straight
with you, all right?
'Cause that's what I do.
You know me.
Bonnie, I hated
sending that letter
just as much
as you hated getting it.
You know, you can stop
the whole concerned
politician act, Gary.
I know you.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean,
I'm trying to be empathetic,
but it's all day
with these people.
Mayoring is so hard.
All day, "Gary, we found
mercury in the water supply."
Like, come on, man.
I got problems, too, right?
Speaking of which,
you owe the county 20,000
dollars.
Okay, that's another thing.
How can I possibly owe
20,000 dollars to this county?
Bonnie, you haven't paid
your property taxes
in, like-- well, uh, never.
I mean,
there's penalties, right?
Interest accrues.
It's all compounded
over the years.
What did I just sign?
I'm not losing this house, Gary.
-I know.
-Seriously,
it's all of our memories.
-Gary.
-What?
This house,
this is my everything.
Right.
This is where we raised
Spencer.
I've been in this house
for 30 years.
I am not gonna part with that.
I know. I know.
And I-- Look, I'm sorry.
You slipped through the cracks.
Yeah.
We just had the computers
updated in this place.
We got the "wee-fee" now.
And you got flagged.
Well, um, are you ready
for some good news?
Yes.
Finally.
I went ahead and filed
an extension on your behalf.
'Cause that's what friends do.
Well, thank you, Gary.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
You're welcome, welcome.
Yeah, you got 30 days from
today to get it paid in full.
Thirty days? Thirty days?!
You might have to dip
into your savings.
I don't have a savings, Gary.
I'm the epitome of living
paycheck to paycheck.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
What happens in 30 days?
It goes to auction,
unfortunately.
No. Gary, no.
My family and your family,
we've been friends for years.
You... you once
took a dump in my sandbox.
Hey. No.
All right?
"A," I-I was three,
and two, my parents
hadn't discovered
I was lactose intolerant yet.
Listen, you owe me,
and this is payback time.
I've done
everything I can, okay?
I'm rooting for you.
I-I wish you the best of luck.
Really.
He... he pooped in my sandbox.
Guys, really, really,
I've had a horrible day.
Get to work!
Hey, Bonnie.
Think a bucket of kerosene
and some matches
might take care of it.
Oh, I'm sure
I can get her fixed up.
I appreciate it, Ernie.
I don't know
what I would do without you.
Sounds like torch your car.
Exactly.
Thanks again.
No problem, Bonnie.
See you soon.
What are you doing in there?
Just talking to this girl
I kinda been seeing.
Well, back in my day,
if we liked somebody,
we would talk to them audibly,
face-to-face even.
Yeah? Dating must have been
crazy back in the day, huh?
Tacos are ready.
Yeah, I'm not really hungry.
Thanks, though.
Spence, you got to eat
something.
-Maybe later, Ma.
-It's hot now.
Mom, okay, I'm tired
of eating tacos
every night in this house.
Oh, well, excuse me,
Prince Harry.
I'm sorry
I didn't make prime rib
or king crab,
whatever you wanted to order.
Chicken cordon bleu.
This is a one-income family,
Spence, and it's not enough.
You doing okay, Mom?
No, I'm not.
I went to the courthouse today
to talk to Gary.
We need 20,000 dollars
for this tax lien.
Or what? You lose the house?
We lose the house, Spence.
-Well, that doesn't seem fair.
-Oh, it's not fair.
Nothing right now is very fair,
to tell you the truth.
Everything's falling apart.
I mean, if we could
just get one stinkin' break.
My husband, my job,
now the car.
You have taken everything.
What more can be
taken away from us?
We could just use one sign
-that you're listening.
-Mom.
Not a big burning bush.
I'm not asking
for a big, giant sign.
Mom.
Just one little sign
that you're listening,
that you care about
what we're going through.
-Mom!
-What?!
Now you're gonna take
the tacos?!
I think you're losing it, Ma.
Don't you dare.
Mom, that's not funny.
That's not funny. It's not...
Want to go get
some cheap bar food?
Yes.
But I know the neighborhood
And talk is cheap
when the story is good
And the tale gets taller
on down the line
So I'm telling you, babe
Thank you.
That I don't think
it's true, babe...
So what can I sign you up for?
Flock of Seagulls?
Ugh. No.
I am too tired
to go sing anywhere.
Are you kidding me?
You and Dad
used to kill it up there.
Oh, stop.
Honey, I'm not a solo act.
Your daddy had all the talent.
I just stood there
and looked pretty.
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did. Wait a minute.
What are you saying
about my appearance?
I am saying that
you carried your weight.
Now you're
talking about my weight?
All right.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm just kidding.
Let your mama have some fun,
for heaven's sake.
Oh, my goodness.
Ugh.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you are in for a real treat.
Straight from
the glitz and glamour
that is Reno, Nevada,
the Hixons.
Oh!
That's right,
ladies and locals.
We're here to deliver a gift.
Oh, my.
And because I was paid
a nominal appearance fee.
So we hope you enjoy unwrapping
the ancient Japanese art form
known simply as "kari-o-keh."
As told through the lens
of Peaches & Herb.
-We are professionals.
-So don't try this at home.
-And you...
-Yes?
I have just one request.
Oh? And what's that?
I want you to...
shake your groove thing.
Permission granted.
There's nothing more
That I'd like to do
Than take the floor
and dance with you
Keep dancing
Let's keep dancing
Shake it, shake it
Shake your groove thing,
shake your groove thing
Yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now
Show 'em
how we do it now
Let's show the world
we can dance
Bad enough
to strut our stuff
The music gives us a chance
We do more out on the floor
Groovin' loose
or heart to heart
We put in motion
every single part
Funky sounds wall to wall
We're bumpin' booties
Havin' us a ball, y'all
Shake your groove thing,
shake your groove thing
Yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now
Shake your groove thing,
shake your groove thing
Yeah, yeah
Shake it, shake it, uh
Let's do it to it, y'all.
Is that all you got?
Give 'em applause.
Y'all, keep it going
for the Hixons.
And if you want to see
more performances like this,
be sure to attend
the Cheatham County
Karaoke Showdown
going down June 29th.
The competition makes
its return after five years.
Did he really need
to put his leg on...
Oh, that--
it was just a bit much.
That's all I'm saying.
That was a bit much?
-Uh, yeah.
-You can't be talking about
anything other than
your bar tab.
I'm just saying, it was
really big on the spectacle
and just not
a whole lot of the vocals.
My opinion.
From where I was standing,
that was delicious.
So what are you,
some kind of competitive eater?
Fair warning, not the night
to poke Mama Bear.
Shut your face,
you little pink peanut.
So...
...a karaoke connoisseur?
So I suppose
that I'll be seeing you
on the battlefield the 29th?
-No. I'm not interested.
-Hmm.
Fear will do that to people.
What?
I said fear will do that
to people.
Oh, I'm not afraid.
I just have more important
things on my mind.
Well, if you've ever
got any more questions
about my standing in
the competitive karaoke world,
you be sure to follow
my Insta account.
It's the one
with the little blue check.
Don't...
Wow. You look great.
Yeah, some duct tape,
Elmer's glue, some zip ties,
but she'll run.
Had to change the alternator,
and she looked like
she needed a bath,
so had the boys spray her down.
Interest you
in a cup of coffee?
Oh, no, thank you.
So what do I owe you?
-Nothing.
-Oh, great,
'cause that's
all I've got right now.
I'm gonna put it on your tab.
I have a tab?
Oh, yeah.
It's like a mythical creature,
uh, like the Chupacabra,
the Yeti,
- Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster.
- I get you.
I catch you
real loud and clear.
Ah, there's no rush
in paying me back, Bonnie.
I'm real sorry
to hear about that lien.
Ah. Well, word travels fast
in Ashland City.
You think about
what you're gonna do?
Win the lottery.
That's all I've got left.
Tried praying?
Sometimes that feels like
the same thing.
Oh, it can.
But don't get discouraged.
So I could take you
to lunch sometime
if you need someone to talk to.
Spill it all out.
- I'm available.
- Mom, you good?
Cool if I roll?
Hey, Spencer.
How you doing, man?
Hey. What's up, Ernie?
Thanks for fixing up her ride.
So I heard you, uh,
been rebuilding bikes.
Yeah, just kind of a hobby,
but I make
some side money with it.
But you couldn't fix
your mom's?
-I don't have the parts.
-Hmm.
So, theoretically,
if you had the parts,
you could fix any car?
Yes, sir.
You saw the sign on the door
when you walked in, didn't you?
"Help wanted."
Oh, you guys are good.
I had nothing to do with this.
Cross my heart.
When do I start?
What?
Oh
Said I'm all out of love
Hmm.
All out of love...
So the, uh,
parking sign out front.
Did you do the parking sign?
Um, that would be a Nick thing.
Oh. Figures.
You're replacing Jaxson's CD
with your CD?
Yes.
Nick asked me to do this.
There's a, uh, link
and a code in each of them
for a digital download,
so it's a bit more relevant.
Well, isn't that fancy?
Okay, Bonnie, I'm gonna
level with you, right?
You and I are
what I like to call alphas.
Which is great,
but the problem
with having two alphas
is there can really,
truly only be one.
Well, welcome to
the Thunderdome, darlin'.
The club that just opened
in East Nashville?
No.
It's a different Thunderdome.
Okay. Right.
Uh, Nick asked me to come here
to really 21st-century up
the place,
so I'm gonna do that.
Bonnie, there's gonna be
a lot of changes, okay?
And I would appreciate it
if you would just
get behind the changes.
Well, you know, I might have
something to say
about change myself.
Wh... What would that be?
Uh, be the change
you wish to see in the world.
That's on the wall art
behind me, isn't it?
Gandhi, right?
Why do these men
take pictures of themselves
in the bathroom?
And how does
that creative process work?
Just sitting on the toilet
one morning and think,
"Ooh, I look good.
I'm gonna take
a picture of myself."
Throne room is the spot.
Trust me. It's like
the Louvre for selfies.
It's time for you to just
stick your toe in the water,
even if it's just,
like, the shallow end,
and just get back in the game.
Oh, Ruby, I don't even know
the rules anymore.
Well, I can
teach you the rules.
Wait, there are no rules.
That's the whole purpose
of the Internet.
My point is you can be
exactly who you want to be,
not who you are.
For instance,
on my Match.com profile,
I'm a big-shot CEO
of a Fortune 500 company.
Fish on the Hook, I'm a lawyer.
Think I do civil rights,
something like that.
And on my Tinder...
...I'm a British spy.
That's a terrible
British accent.
That's not even discernible.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Uh, get your fresh milk here.
Do you even know
a British person?
The point is
I can be whoever I want to be.
Yes, but aren't the women
wildly disappointed
when they find out
who you really are?
I should be offended
by that comment, but I'm not.
Guys, it's actually--
it's quite beautiful thing.
These women,
they want to believe it
just as much as I do.
For them, it's Christmas Day,
and they want to know
that Santa's still real.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm their Santa baby.
You know, bringing 'em gifts.
Even though they're
on my naughty list.
Very naughty.
'Cause Santa needs
a little helper.
Oh, is that how
he meets his ho, ho, hoes?
Stocking stuffer.
Okay, you're ruining
Christmas for me.
Both of you.
Oh, Lord.
'Twas grace
That brought me
safe thus far
And grace will lead me
Home.
But if you do it
gently, they don't hardly know
- you touched them.
- Hey, ladies.
Everybody's gonna be mad at us.
-How are you?
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hey.
Bonnie, what are the odds
of me getting you
to do a solo next week?
That's very sweet of you
to ask, but zero.
You know what, I just remember
when you and Ben
used to sing together.
I mean, you always had
such a gift.
I'd really love
to hear you sing again.
That's just one of the things
I haven't been able to do yet.
I think if I did,
it really would be
like moving on,
you know, without him.
And... hard to explain.
Very hard to understand, but...
Sweetheart, you don't
have to explain anything.
I completely understand.
-Okay, good.
-And I certainly understand.
Thank you.
You know what,
and when the time comes,
-you just let me know, okay?
-Okay.
-Okay, good.
-But thank you for asking.
Yeah. I'm gonna take
some of these.
-Oh, good for you.
-All right.
-That one...
-Okay.
She took our doughnut.
Ma, don't forget
I'm bringing over someone
for dinner Saturday.
I can't wait to meet her.
Um, speaking of dates,
what would you think
if your mom
got out there in
the 50-and-over dating scene?
Post-half-century dating world?
Ew.
Make it sound like my first
date will be on the Titanic.
You really gonna cheat on Dad?
Oh, son, no.
Really, no. No, never mind.
No, I'm not. Never...
Mom, I'm kidding.
I think it's a great idea.
And I think Dad would, too.
-You really think so?
-Yeah.
He wouldn't want you
to be some crazy old lady
living alone in Ashland City.
Well, I was thinking
of getting a pink robe
and a litter of kittens.
We'll call that "plan B."
You know,
lonely has been hard, son,
but I'm so grateful
I've not been alone,
thanks to you.
Mom, you know,
I came back after Dad died
to help you get back to normal.
Or at least a new normal.
And I appreciate that so much.
But it's been almost two years
waiting for you
to move forward.
So you're gonna leave me
and go back to Dallas?
That's always been the plan.
I knew I shouldn't have
sent you to that city college.
I'm ready, Mom.
I know.
But I know
it's all hands on deck
to help save the house,
so this job
at the garage with Ernie,
it is full-time,
but... it's also temporary,
okay?
Sure.
But, hey, this dating thing
is a great first step.
Might even
brighten up your mood.
I am proud of you.
Don't butter me up.
I'll call Ruby.
A bit moister right there.
Oh, my good Lord,
-have mercy.
-There you go.
No, no. It's good.
It's good. It's good.
-Okay.
-This color right here,
you could charge by the hour
if you wear that.
Well, you could use
every dollar you can get, girl.
I don't know.
Rubes, this is weird.
What do you mean?
Is it the location
or the process?
-There you go.
-It's the bra.
-The bra is the problem.
-The bra?
-Look.
-I know!
They keep pushing 'em
any further,
you could throw 'em
over my shoulder.
Look, girl, the cleavage.
You need the cleavage.
It's all about the cleavage.
You've seen the pictures.
Now, come on.
I think I actually need
a little more cleavage.
No, I don't!
Can we hike
this bra up a little bit?
-Now you can see my ankles.
-There you go.
Sweetheart, you look beautiful!
Now go ahead. Take the picture.
-No. No, look.
-Take the picture.
Have you ever
tried to bust open
a can of Pillsbury biscuits?
That's what's getting ready
to happen right here.
-Spanx are a necessary evil.
-Oh.
Now come on.
You look beautiful.
Just flaunt
what the good Lord gave you
and take the picture!
Don't blame this on the Lord.
This is bacon
and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Okay.
That's what
this is right here.
You're stalling.
-Come on.
-All right.
Come on. We'll give you
a little wind to go with it.
-Now come on, girl. Okay?
-Oh, that feels good.
-Oh, yeah.
-You're beautiful.
-You're magic.
-I bet.
-You're magic!
-Oh.
-All right? Yeah.
-Those Victoria girls,
they ain't got no secret.
They got nothing on you.
Oh, my God.
There's Bonnie Taylor.
Oh, I'd date her.
Okay
This is the day
When nice, cool things
happen to positive people
And I'm a positive people.
Please don't...
please don't kill me.
Nick said give you your tips.
I'm giving you it all.
Have a good one.
Yep. She's already sold seven,
if that's what you're counting.
I guess it's good,
but can she sing?
Oh, my guess is people
ain't buying it for her voice.
"Even the Nights Are Better"?
What does that even mean?
- Oh, you're terrible.
- Jaxson.
I'm gonna leave these
right here for the people.
What are they?
Cheatham County is going
all out on the relaunch
of this karaoke competition
at the fair,
asking all the businesses
to put out the fliers, so...
Okay.
-Hey, Nick.
-Bonnie,
if you're gonna ask me
about the electric
charging station...
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm done fighting all that.
I need more hours.
-How many you thinking?
-Infinity.
Sounds steep.
But let me see what I can do.
Samantha makes the schedule.
Oh, great.
Yeah, she's controlling
my life now.
Uh, Nick,
we got a little bit
of a situation in the back
with the dishwasher, Harry.
-Seriously?
-Mm-hmm.
Just no quick movements
and don't make eye contact.
Man.
Yo, B, you ain't even
gonna put a dent
in that tax bill
with just a couple more shifts.
Well, you got a better idea?
And don't say
win the lottery or pray.
I've considered them both.
Here's the answer
to your prayers right here,
10,000-dollar first-place prize?
That can go a long way
for somebody trying
to pay off a tax bill.
-Oh, come on, Jaxson.
-Don't "come on."
You think you can get
the rest of the money?
Well, closed out my savings.
I'm gonna have a yard sale.
I don't know what else to do.
This is what you do.
You should sign up for it.
Yeah, they deemed me
persona non grata.
If you recall, I set the
judges' table ablaze in 2015.
-More like the judges.
-Tomato, "to-mah-to."
Look, in my defense,
they never said anything
about pyrotechnics.
There was a gray area.
It's rock and roll, B,
and I'm cool with that.
Look, we not talking
about my house here.
I'm trying to save yours.
I don't sing without Ben.
Guess you better hold out
for that lottery win then, huh?
Well, I'd have a better chance.
-Bonnie, you can sing.
-So can you, Jaxson.
I'm not signing up for it,
and you're not
signing up for it,
so that's the end
of the discussion.
Bonnie.
So have you had
any good leads on dates yet?
Mm-mm.
I got off that Fish one,
that LotsOfFishes.com
or something like that.
Yeah, the man sent me
a picture of his...
tackle.
-Yes, he did.
-No.
Right there on the Internet.
That's a terrible thing.
They send you pictures of it.
I wrote him right back,
said, "You ain't catching
nothing with that thing."
I did.
-Then that Holy Mingling.
-Oh, HolyMingle.com.
-Yeah.
-Right.
Some mingling on there
that's not very holy.
Oh, girl. Oh, girl.
It's depressing.
Then there's Decade Dater.
I know that one.
That's that over-50 site?
And I'm not being ugly.
If you got to tank it up
and have a woof
every now and then,
you go right ahead,
but if you can't move that tube
long enough to snap
a picture of yourself,
you don't need a date,
you need a hospice.
You don't need to be a nurse.
-Not on my watch.
-Never.
You can have that blow-dryer
for 5,000 dollars!
Why are you so nervous?
This is the first time
he's brought a girl home
since the fifth grade.
Well, she's probably nice.
You know what they say, right?
What?
Well, they say
that men choose women
who have similar qualities
to their mothers.
Oh, great. So she's overworked,
overstressed, overweight,
and completely broke.
Stop it.
You and Ben, you raised
a really good boy.
Yes.
I'm thinking,
if he's bringing a girl home,
she might be a keeper.
Yep, she could be.
- Mom?
- They're here.
You're staying for supper,
right? You're my date.
I am your date.
Okay. We'll see how this goes.
-Just breathe, baby.
-It could be really exciting.
It could be, and
she could have a single father.
-Oh, stop it.
-And you could double date.
- Would you stop it.
- You never know.
You could be a double wedding.
Hey, guys. This is Sam.
- You can go, Ruby.
- Well, I was gonna...
Just go.
Okay.
Okay, what's going on?
You two are the most
talkative people I know.
I like what you've done
with the place.
We're minimalist.
Okay, I know you guys
work at the Biscuit Barrel
together,
so we can get past that, right?
Sam here is the reason
my job got cut back.
Okay.
And your mom
makes it impossible
-for me to do my job every day.
-Okay, okay.
Well, get over it. Both of you.
Son, I love you,
but this is a bit much.
Here's what we're gonna do.
We are going to play
the compliment game.
Each of you is going to say
something nice
about the other one.
Mom, why don't you
start for us?
Sam...
...drives a black car.
All right.
Um, your mom...
lives in a house.
Okay, so you see
what you both did there?
Um, you just stated facts
about the other person.
Not really
the point of the game.
So why don't we try again.
Go ahead.
Your mom is
a really hard worker.
Well...
Sam has good taste in men.
Okay, I'll take that.
All right.
Are you trying to ruin
everything in my life?
Okay, Bonnie, I didn't know
he was your son. I swear.
We-we ran into each other
at a bar and just hit it off.
Well, don't dig your claws
in too deep,
'cause he's going
back to Texas.
Yeah, I heard.
Which is why I am
doing everything I can
to keep him here.
What?
I really like him,
and I don't want him to leave.
Huh.
What?
Welcome to the family.
Don't blow it.
I love living in a place
where you can actually
see the stars at night.
Mm-hmm.
We've been walking this bridge
ever since I was a kid.
Oh, and long before that.
Your daddy and I used to
walk out here all the time.
Talk about life,
you know,
contemplate the future, pray,
-skinny dip.
-Mom.
Well, Bonnie, thank you for
not kicking me out at dinner.
Well, thank you for being...
firmly rooted in my son's life.
Look at you, two peas in a pod.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
-Can you hold this?
-Yeah.
Might be about Homer.
I'm just...
Homer? Grandfather or your dog?
Um, it's actually my son.
Sam has a 12-month-old,
super cute.
-Thanks.
-Wow.
And you named him Homer?
Are you trying
to put him in therapy
right out of the womb?
No, it's a nickname.
Um, a lot of people said
when he was born,
he looked like a little
mini version of Homer Simpson,
'cause he was bald
and had big eyes
and a little belly.
-And yellow skin?
-Yes.
Epic bout of jaundice.
I had no idea
you were a single mother.
Mm-hmm.
You are single, right?
Yes.
Yeah. That's actually
why I moved here,
to be closer to my mom
for some help.
I thought you came here
for the singing.
Not really.
I mean, I-I recorded
a video of myself singing
in my bedroom a couple
years ago that went viral.
Tried to make a career
out of that, but...
Viral. You-you can
get penicillin for that.
Mom.
Okay, well,
that was the sitter,
so I think
I should probably get back.
See you back at the house?
-Okay.
-All right. Bye, Ma.
-Good to see you, Sam.
-Bye, Bonnie.
Oh, look at that.
Did you see that?
Oh, stop.
Stop eating people's food.
Hi, Douglas. How you doing?
Oh, hey, Bonnie. I'm all right.
Aw. How's that little Maggie?
I haven't seen you
walking her in a while.
Yeah. You know,
she hasn't really been eating.
Oh.
I-I think her stomach's
all messed up.
I'm gonna take her
to the vet tomorrow.
Oh, that's good.
I'm sorry to hear that.
There's nothing
you can do about it, Bonnie.
Well, I tell you what I can do,
get you that Denver omelet
you love, extra ham.
-Yeah, perfect.
-Always.
Hey, are you gonna use
those boxes?
Nope. Why? You want 'em?
You gonna build
a cardboard fort?
Oh. Yeah.
You're probably just gonna use
them to pack up your house.
Yeah. O-Okay, so looking back,
my little cardboard-fort joke
could be misconstrued,
like it's a new place
for you to live
once you lose your home
'cause you
can't afford it anymore.
Let me clear the air.
Not my intention.
Can I have the boxes or not?
Y-Yes. Yes, you can.
Th-There's more out back
if you need it,
to not build yourself a fort.
There you go.
Oh, I don't need
a take-home box, Bonnie.
Oh, listen. This is for Maggie,
some chicken and rice
made real plain,
so maybe it'll be
easy on her stomach.
Oh. Thanks, Bonnie.
Need any help?
No, I'm fine.
You don't look fine.
You are watching me
officially give up.
Aw, don't say that. That sucks.
Yes, it does.
Still that Karaoke Showdown.
It's not too late to enter.
I am not getting on the stage
without Ben.
You got it?
I got you.
Oh, I got you.
Bonnie, Jaxson just told me
that you agreed
to do a solo for
"Blessed Assurance."
No.
Oh, I'm so happy.
-Thank you. Okay.
-Yeah, no. But no.
- I'm not doing this. Hello.
- Yes. Yes.
-No. Jaxson.
-Yes. Yes. Yes, you can...
No, I can't do this.
This is terrifying.
-Stop talking. Stop talking.
-You have no idea...
-What?
-Calm down. Focus.
Jaxson, I feel completely naked
up here without Ben.
-You feel naked?
-Yes.
-Yes?
-Yes, I do.
Good. Use that.
I'm gonna teach you a trick
my drummer taught me.
-Look out in the pews.
-Yes.
- You see those people?
- Mm-hmm.
Picture 'em all...
butt naked.
Oh. Not helping.
That's bad. No, you put
some clothes on those people.
This pep talk's over,
but you got this.
-No. Jaxson, no.
-You got this.
-You got...
-No, I can't do this.
Praising my savior
All the day long...
All the day long
Blessed assurance
Jesus
Is...
-Mine
-Go ahead.
Come on.
-Come on, sing.
-Sing, baby.
Oh, what a foretaste
Of glory divine
Heir of salvation
Ooh
Purchased of God
I'm born of his goodness
Oh
Washed in his blood
This is my story
This is my song
I'm praising my savior
All the day long
This is my story
This is my song
Praising my savior
I'm praising my savior
-Praising my savior
-Praising my savior
Praising my savior
I'm praising my savior
-All the day long
-All the day
Long.
Yeah, B!
Oh, I-I appreciate that.
I appreciate it a lot. Okay.
-Could I have your autograph?
-Oh, stop it, Ruby.
I am so proud of you.
Ben would be so proud of you.
Oh, thanks.
Save me a seat for lunch.
Okay. Should I save you
some cobbler?
-Oh, yes.
-Okay.
- Of course.
- Done.
Oh, you.
Look, you know I had to do it.
I told you I didn't
want any part of that.
You also said that you can't
sing in front of people.
No, I said I can't sing
in front of people without Ben.
But you just did.
It was so good.
I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
-You feel good?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
I'm gonna see you next week?
-I'll see you.
-Okay.
Okay.
Well, now can we agree
that it's worth it
for you to get on the stage
at the fair to save your house?
You got a gift.
It's a no-brainer, B.
Okay, on one condition.
What's that?
You Miyagi me.
Look, I ain't Miyagi
nobody in a long time.
No, it's that
Asian handyman guy.
You know, "Daniel-San."
And I'm gonna
enter the competition.
I'm gonna do all the things
you tell me to do,
and then I win it all.
Oh, Miyagi.
Okay, you got yourself
a Miyagi.
-Fantastic.
-All right.
We only got about a week,
-so we got to get to work.
-Oh, boy.
Okay. I can paint your fence.
I could wax on,
wax off your car.
I could, I could catch
a fly with chopsticks.
You don't have to do
any of that.
-Rock and roll is hard work.
-Oh, boy.
Listen to everything
I say, you must.
Okay, now that's
a little more Yoda
than it is a Miyagi.
Do I look like
I watch Star Trek ?
I guess that I been
down before
Lying face-first
on the bedroom floor
I guess that I been
down before
I've taken
all that I can take
Gotten back up
for the standing eights
I've taken
all that I can take
So don't count me out
Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
Don't count me out
Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
Just when you think
I met my match
Heading full speed
for a head-on crash
Just when you think
I met my match
I found a way
to break my falls
Do an encore
after curtain call
I found a way
to break my falls
So don't count me out
Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
Don't count me out
Don't count me out,
no, oh...
Why are we doing
this one again?
No clue,
but it worked for Rocky.
Don't count me...
Rocky? Rocky?
The eat-raw-eggs,
"Yo, Adrian," Rocky?
I'm not Rocky.
Oh, you think
you too good to be Rocky?
No, oh, don't count me out
-Don't count me out
-Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
-Don't count me out
-Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
-Don't count me out
-Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out
Don't count me out
Don't count me out,
no, oh, don't count me out
Don't count me out
Don't count me out,
no, oh, don't count me out
Don't count me out
No, oh, don't count me out.
Which of these do you like
best for the men's bathroom?
Uh, uh, it matters not to me.
I-I've heard horror stories.
I would not even go in there
if you paid me.
Really?
Not even for 10, 20, 30,000
dollars?
There you go. Did it again.
I wasn't thinking that you need
20,000 dollars to save your
house when I said it.
Let me clear the air, Bonnie.
I know it was
not your intention.
A-As a matter of fact,
it never even crossed my mind.
I just came in here
to tell you thank you.
Oh? And-and to what
do I owe this gratitude?
Thanks for putting
my parking sign back up.
Mm, wasn't me.
-Really?
-Check with Samantha.
Make sure she's okay
with you parking in her spot.
But me and you, we cool, right?
Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, Nick.
Not my intention.
Hey, uh, somebody put
a "Bonnie Parking" sign
over top of
the assistant manager sign.
I guess I'm supposed
to ask if that's okay.
Well, yeah.
That parking spot isn't really
that important to me,
and it seemed pretty important
to you, so I...
I wanted you to have it.
Well, that's very sweet of you.
Um, Bonnie,
I just wanted to apologize
if things were kind of weird
when I first got here.
I was, uh,
a little intimidated,
so I kind of
just put up a front.
Well, I get it, because...
I haven't been
the greatest either.
The, uh-- That thing you do
with the website,
where you can get
your orders online,
I think that's really smart.
Thanks.
I'm gonna do a couple
more changes like that.
Okay.
That spot was
really important to you, right?
Yeah, I guess I thought it was.
I used to think
maybe you loved me
Now, baby, I'm sure
And I just can't wait
till the day
When you knock on my door
Oh, yeah, now
I'm walking on sunshine
Whoa
I'm walking on sunshine
Whoa
And don't it feel good.
I need your help.
I really, Lord...
I-I need to know
you're listening.
I-I need to win this, Lord.
-I need the...
-Excuse me.
Oh.
Well, it's
the competitive eater.
And where's your... sidekick?
My wife left me for a mime.
Oh, so you're gonna tell me
you're suffering in silence
or she left
without saying a word.
No, she was very vocal.
Screamed at me, in fact.
Okay, I'm sorry. I--
Really, I thought
you were setting me up
for a punch line.
But I am suffering.
So what do you have
there in your...
big box?
The Magic Wagon.
-Oh, a magic wagon.
-Inside it...
is everything you need...
to put on
a championship-caliber
karaoke performance.
Oh.
Lasers, fog cannons,
pyrotechnics.
Oh, you-you might want to check
the rule book on that.
So you did decide to compete.
Oh, only out of necessity.
You know,
you're probably gonna win.
I would say it's
a mathematical certainty, yes.
I don't have fancy stuff
or bells and whistles.
I don't...
I don't have a magic wagon.
I just have my voice.
Karaoke, like life,
it's all smoke and mirrors.
When the music ends,
no one remembers
what song you sang
or the quality of your voice.
All they think about is:
Did the pageantry
blow their minds?
But I do wish you the best
in your second-place
competition tomorrow.
What does second place get?
Nothing.
It's still
the first-place loser.
Come on, Magic Wagon.
Mom, did you box up
the coffee maker?
Yes, I did.
I can't sleep, but I can pack.
We have two days
to get the money we need
to save this house,
and I don't have it. Do you?
Well, I have the money
from selling that bike
and the little bit I made
at the garage I gave you.
So you put
our two little bits together,
and you know what you get?
Not enough.
Well, you know, there's still
that karaoke competition
tonight, Mom.
I can't win
that thing, Spencer.
-Who am I kidding?
-Come on.
What happened to Team Taylor?
Hey, I'm Magic,
and you're Bird.
And I googled it.
They did play together
on the 1992 Olympic Dream Team.
So, it's the final minute
of the fourth quarter.
You gonna take
the shot for us, Gary?
-Larry.
-Larry Bird?
Are you gonna take the buzzer
beater and save our house?
Well, when I miss,
we still have to pack
all of this up
and put it in storage.
And I'll move in with Ruby.
And you're going back to Texas,
'cause it's time.
Excuse me.
There's a lot of people
in this line.
Yeah, they coming out
of the woodworks.
Bringing the Showdown back
is a big deal.
But don't let it
go to your head.
Look, when I was
touring in the '90s,
we rocked for 10,000 people.
You know how many people
was at my last show?
-Thirty.
-Whoa.
You think I perform
any differently
or with any less passion?
Okay, probably not.
Definitely not,
and neither should you.
Numbers don't matter.
You can be going up against
two dudes or 200 dudes.
It shouldn't affect the
quality of your performance.
You're gonna leave it all
on that stage.
-Wow.
-Do you hear me?
Blood, sweat, tears.
This is your time, Bonnie.
You got to grab your time
by the horns.
Now, how was that pep talk?
Because I stayed up all night
practicing in the mirror.
It was moderately inspiring.
Kind of got weird at the end,
but I give it a seven.
I'll take a seven.
- Hi, Bonnie!
- Hi, Leona.
I just need you to sign here,
and I'll get you
assigned a time slot.
Okay.
You got it.
Great.
How's your grandmama?
-Oh, she's plugging away.
-Good.
Hey, thanks for bringing
that pie over.
That was really sweet.
Oh, you know, we had
an extra one in the kitchen.
I knew I'd find a home for it.
Perfect. I just need you
to write down
the name of the song.
Oh. Oh, I have to know
the song now?
I thought I could just
figure that out
when I get up there.
Sorry, yeah.
We have to program this
beforehand.
We don't want
to embarrass ourselves
in front of the professionals.
What professionals?
You know, they say
he never loses these,
just travels around from
town to town winning titles.
I don't have a song.
You do have a song.
Look inside you.
You just got to find something
that you passionate about.
Okay, I haven't been passionate
about anything lately
but just saving my house.
Sing about that.
Depress the judges
into voting for me?
That's a great
coaching strategy.
Don't depress 'em.
Make 'em feel you.
Make 'em know that,
no matter what,
you will survive this.
Hear what I'm saying?
-Okay, I will survive.
-You will survive.
I will survive.
Say it with me.
I will survive.
-Oh.
-Yeah?
So do you have a song, Bonnie?
-Absolutely.
-Great. What is it?
-"Margaritaville."
-Okay.
She gonna do "I Will Survive."
We just talked about this.
Okay, what he said.
Bless her heart.
Hi, Eric.
Uh, when do you go on, Bonnie?
Well, let's see...
75. I go on right after 74.
Well, we're here
to cheer you on,
-me and, um...
-Okay.
I'm sorry.
What was your name again?
Stacy.
-This is Stacy.
-Stacy.
She's a Victoria's Secret model
who moonlights
as a neurosurgeon.
I'll bet you guys
met on Tinder.
-Mm-hmm.
-Aha.
He's a spy.
- Yeah, really?
- Shh.
Hello, Ashland City!
Yeah! Ha!
Ha!
Welcome to
the Cheatham County Fair...
Karaoke Showdown!
Yes!
Yes. Obviously the county,
we secured insurance again.
Some of you may remember
the-the unfortunate,
uh, performance arson.
Uh, but I digress, okay?
So, uh, uh, yeah, the rules
for this competition
are very simple.
The judges will judge
our performances
on a scale of one to 10.
At the end of the evening,
the winner walks away...
with 10,000 dollars.
Yes.
And in the event of a tie,
um, in the event of a tie,
we're gonna go head-to-head,
two singers, one song.
Let's get ready to karaoke!
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody
Wang Chung tonight
Everybody, yeah
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody
Wang Chung tonight
Everybody have fun...
Next up on the stage is, uh...
It's French.
I can't really pronounce it.
It's, uh, Joe...
Joph...
Jo-eff.
Jon-effe.
What?
Joeff.
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody have fun
tonight
Ooh, yeah, yeah
Everybody have fun
Whoo
Everybody...
What you doing, Ma?
Oh, hey, son. Just... thinking.
Oh, you're in the competition.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was just thinking
ten grand could really
help me with my son
and help me afford
to go back to school, so...
I promise I'm not, like,
taking something else
away from you. Sorry.
No, I get it. I get it.
Hey, you're gonna do great.
Thanks, son.
And-and good luck, Samantha.
Thank you.
See you out there.
That's right.
Thank you. Let's hear it
for Sally Strideman's
totally unexpected rendition
of DMX's "Party Up."
Right.
Judges.
Wow, tough.
Up to this point,
we've had some really
amazing entertainment.
Wouldn't you agree,
ladies and gentlemen?
Yes. We have.
Yes, we have.
It's a good welcome back.
Expect for, you know,
one that, uh...
not so hot.
Yeah.
Uh, anyway, next to the stage,
ladies and gentlemen,
it's a real treat.
With an unofficial record
of 21 wins and zero losses,
a true consummate professional
in his craft
and a living legend,
Mr. Mark Hixon.
We built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
-You could do lasers?
-You can have lasers?
Say you don't know me
Or recognize my face
Too many runaways
Eating up the night
It's all spectacle.
Marconi plays the mamba
Listen to the radio
Don't you remember?
We built this city
on rock and roll
We built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
Don't tell us you need us
'Cause we're
the ship of fools
Looking for America
Coming through your schools
Looking out
over the Golden Gate Bridge
on another gorgeous,
sunny Saturday,
and I'm seeing
that bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Don't you remember?
We built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
We built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city
on rock and roll.
Wow...!
Wow! Ladies and gentlemen!
Oh, my goodness!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen!
Oh, goodness. You're welcome.
My heart.
Judges, what do we have?
Yeah, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10!
Look at that!
Yeah!
Oh, my goodness.
Ladies and gentlemen,
you have witnessed
performative perfection tonight
from the Nadia Comaneci
of karaoke music.
Wow!
Am I right?
All they really want
is spectacle.
No, you're wrong.
They just don't know
what real is.
It just feels like we should...
I don't know, call it?
We're gonna press on.
We're gonna go forward.
I'm playing for a tie at best.
You still don't get it.
You're playing for yourself.
Up next is, uh...
It's Bonnie Taylor.
Now go out there
and own that song.
Make it your own.
Tell your story.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
Bonnie Taylor.
Now, let's go.
They're calling your name.
Come on, babe. You got this.
-Come on!
-Bonnie Taylor.
- Bonnie? Bonnie!
- You got this.
All right? Hey, listen.
Look at me.
I want you to go up there
and crane kick
this metallic poser
square in his face
and bring that All Valley
Championship trophy home.
You got me?
Hey, hey, you got me?
-Okay.
-Let's do this. You got this.
-Bonnie!
-Bonnie Taylor,
ladies and gentlemen.
Come on, girl.
I'm Bonnie Taylor.
Bonnie! Come on.
At first, I was afraid
I was terrified
Kept thinking
I could never sing
Without him by my side
Then I spent so many nights
Thinking
I could lose my home
Now my son is moving out
And I'll be left alone
Now I'm here
Finding my place
I won't give up
on love and livin'
I'll finish up this race
And if things
just fall apart
It will not bother me
'Cause I have friends
that truly love me
And that is the key
Go, now, go
See where I land
I'm putting
all my broken pieces
Into bigger hands
There's love
and laughs ahead
For, oh, so many miles
I will not crumble
No, I'll still wear a smile
Oh, no, not I
I will survive
Oh, as long as
I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got
all my life to live
And I've got all my love
to give
I will survive,
I will survive
Hey, hey
Should we go up?
-Yeah.
-We should go.
Hey, hey, hey,
if you go sing now,
you forfeit any cha-- Oh.
You are banned.
You're permabanned!
My house ain't
just a building
It's my heart and home
Ah, this journey's
made me stronger
I'll make it on my own
I spent, oh, so many nights
Feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Ha! But now
I hold my head up high
You can see
This is me
No longer am I bound
by insecurity
Whatever comes your way
You know
this is not the end
Hold your head up,
you'll survive it
'Cause you're a perfect 10
Oh, no, not I
I will survive
Oh, as long as
I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got
all my life to live
And I've got
all this love to give
I will survive
Oh, I will survive
Oh, oh, oh
No, no
I will survive
Oh, as long as
I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got
all my life to live
And I've got
all this love to give
I will survive,
I will survive
Hey, hey.
Wow! Ladies and gentlemen,
Bonnie Taylor!
Let's hear it for the lady!
Wow! Wow!
Absolutely
phenomenal performances
we've seen here tonight.
Impressive.
But, uh, it-it rests
in the hands of the judges.
So, judges?
What do we have
for Bonnie this evening?
Steve, what do you got?
A 10!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Kim?
Another 10!
Another one,
ladies and gentlemen.
We are witnessing a true clash
of the titans here.
It comes down
to the last score, Bonnie.
Last score. Fast Eddie.
-Here we go, Eddie.
-Fast Eddie.
Give it to us, Eddie.
A nine.
It's a nine.
It's a stinkin' nine.
Hey, B...
Come on, lady.
You think paying me 40 tickets
means you own me now?
Come on, huh?
Come back tomorrow.
I'll buy you a corn dog.
Come on, lady.
I got a cranky third wife
and four step-brats
to get home to.
Making license plates
for 30 cents an hour upstate
was better than this gig.
My parole officer's gonna
call at midnight to check in.
I got to get home.
Oh, you have a home.
Thanks for rubbing that in.
What's the problem?
The problem is
she's been on this ride alone
for the last hour.
It's almost midnight.
And so?
And the fair rules say that
I can't shut the ride down
until the last person's off.
Hmm.
I know her.
Her bark's worse than her bite.
Let's see here.
Believe I owe you two of those.
Knock yourself out.
Milady, is this chariot taken?
If you want
to sit by the loser.
No, no, no.
What you did back there
was impressive.
You should feel good
about that.
Don't you feel good?
I don't know, Ernie.
You ever thought about
just giving up?
All the time.
But it's fleeting.
I happen to be someone
who thinks
life is worth living,
so giving up
is not really an option.
It felt good.
Felt good for a minute
on the stage.
Kind of magical,
tell you the truth.
And then I thought I was
supposed to win.
Now I lose my house,
and I'm left with nothing.
No. No, no, no. Not at all.
Quite the opposite.
If you had to move tomorrow,
you'd still have
your son, right?
Yes.
-Your health?
-Yes.
Your car?
Yes.
Clothes on your back?
Uh, food in the fridge?
That beautiful singing voice
of yours?
-Yes. Yes. Yes. I know.
-Yes. Yeah.
I know in the big picture,
I'm...
...I'm blessed.
I'm blessed. I know.
Hmm?
You said it, not me.
-I'm blessed.
-Yes.
Maestro!
Please tell me
something I want to hear.
I'm ready to get off.
Ah. Thank you very much.
Have a great night.
Give my best to your 12 cats.
Oh, boy.
That's it. That's all I've got.
Right. How much is it?
14,103 dollars.
And...
11 cents.
Uh, well, I wish I could
take it, Bonnie, but I can't.
Gary, you're my friend.
Yep.
But I'm also
an elected city official,
so I have to play
by, you know, the rules.
And the rules say
that today at 5:00,
they're gonna auction off
the house I raised my son in,
the house I grew up in.
Unfortunately, yeah.
Well, I most certainly
will not be voting
for you next year.
-You're late.
-Not today, Nick.
Well, you already got
tables waiting for you.
-What?
-Come on. Hurry up.
The house is packed.
Oh, crap.
Look, when I just said
the house is packed just now--
I'm sorry.
I want to clear the air...
- Shut up, Nick.
- Not my intention.
What is this?
What are...
what are you guys doing?
Eric. What is this?
I just covered a couple
morning tables for you.
Girl, tipping is great today.
You really should get in on it.
Oh, and you know what?
I covered
a couple tables for you.
Ruby, this is too much.
Well, how else are you
gonna get your house back?
- Hey.
- I can't do this.
Couple carryout orders came in.
Maxies and the Lockers
left that for you.
Jaxson, this is--
Nick, who did this?
Sam did.
Bonnie, come on.
These tables are not
gonna wait themselves.
Samantha, this is--
Oh, my...
10,000 dollars?
I only need six.
-Even better.
-But...
Bonnie, I'm ready to order.
Okay, Leona.
Look at all these people.
And the entire wait staff
all agreed
that all of our tips today
are going to you.
Wow. This is too much, really.
You need some of this.
You've got that very tragically
named baby to raise.
It's okay.
Bonnie, it'll be fine.
All right?
I'll go get you a new uniform,
and we'll get right on it.
Okay.
And I like the new uniforms.
-Yeah? Thanks.
-This looks really pretty.
And change isn't always so bad.
Mm-hmm. It's real.
All right, get to work.
-We have a deadline. 5:00.
-Okay.
Lifetime,
once in a lifetime
There is no rewind
We don't get to do it again
You better listen
Don't want to miss it,
don't want to risk it
You wanna own it
This could be the moment...
Mrs. Emerson,
what can I get you today?
I just wanted to say thank you
for throwing my newspaper up
on my porch every single day.
Well, you are very welcome.
They always seem to just
leave it sitting in the yard.
Here you go.
Oh, that's way too much
for a cup of coffee.
Nonsense, Bonnie.
With an arm like yours,
I'd hate to lose you
as my neighbor.
Yeah, this could be
the moment
Yeah, this could be
the moment
Yeah, this could be
the moment
Douglas, can we get you
anything else?
Hey, Bonnie. Nah. No. That is
from Maggie.
-Oh, thank you.
-You're welcome.
Yeah, this could be
the moment
Lifetime,
once in a lifetime
And you wanna own it
Yeah, this could be
the moment
I'm not gonna make it.
We'll keep pushing.
Look, 800 dollars short,
and the auction
is in 15 minutes.
Don't worry.
We'll keep pushing.
Oh, boy.
I thought
you left town already.
No. No, I didn't.
My wife changed the locks
on all of the doors,
and I am currently living
inside the Magic Wagon
just outside the fairgrounds.
It's not ideal.
Okay. I'm--
I am sorry to hear that.
But if you've come to gloat,
this is not the time.
Bonnie...
Never got to see you
after your performance
at the fair.
But I wanted to let you know
that what you did...
...it touched me.
Right here.
It's true.
By a wide
and painfully obvious margin,
I was the winner.
But your performance
was potentially 10 percent...
...as good as mine.
When the other carny folk
told me about your situation,
I thought that it was only fair
to come over and give you--
-A thousand dollars?!
-Ten percent.
Bonnie, your performance
is the future.
And I have already started
writing my own lyrics
to other reimagined
karaoke classics.
Jaxson, I did it!
You might recognize this one
from '80s pop sensation...
We did it. Thank you!
Go, girl! All right!
All right, now. Come on, girl.
Okay!
Wear your seat belt!
And drive safe but fast,
but not too fast.
-Bonnie!
-You got this! Bye, girl!
Go, Bonnie!
-How much time does she have?
-We did it.
She did. We did it.
Go!
Fly like the wind, girl!
-We did it.
-Back to work.
-We should go.
-No, we should go.
Bonnie, you got this.
You can do it.
Keep your eyes on the road.
Keep your eyes on the road.
But go as fast as you can.
Next up,
the Stauffer residence.
We're gonna open up
the bidding at 12-five.
Do I hear 12-five?
-Twelve-five.
-Mike, 12,500 dollars!
Do I hear 12-seven-five?
Misty.
Drive fast. Drive furious.
Twelve-seven-five.
Do I hear 13?
You are Mario Andretti.
Thirteen-two?
Arnold and Sylvia.
Gosh, you guys battle.
Thirteen-three?
13,500 dollars-- Stauffer
residence sold to Monty.
What do we have next?
Next up...
Uh...
Next up, we have
Bonnie Taylor's place.
I'm gonna open up the bidding
at, uh, 13,000 bucks.
Out of the way!
Ugh.
16,000. Ooh, Missy.
Nice. Jumping right in.
Right, do I have...
Out of the way!
Do I hear 18-five?
We have 18-five.
That's from Mitchell.
Move, George.
Do I hear 19-five?
Nineteen-five.
Stop everything! Stop!
-Wait!
-Bonnie.
Bonnie, what are you doing?
Buying my house back.
What-- Is that all of it?
And then some.
Consider it a tip.
Sold!
To me.
And I'm still not voting
for you next year.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
that concludes today's sale.
Mom, did you get it?
Did you get our house back?
We got it.
Yeah, we--
You said, "Our house"?
Yeah. Um...
I been thinking I might need
to spend a little more time
in Ashland City.
You know,
figure some things out.
This is such great news.
-This is amazing.
-Such-- It's amazing!
Am I laughing or am I crying?
We are laughing.
-We are laughing?
-And partying, girl.
-Ooh, come in here, B.
-We got the house!
Come on. I am taking you out.
Oh, my goodness.
That was such a close call.
It's like, I can't beli--
And-and I had a car here.
Yeah. Well, you know,
you did park your car
in the front lawn of city hall.
So you can't park
on the lawn now?
-That's a thing?
-That is a thing now.
Well, I'm gonna need
a ride home, sister girl.
Yes, you are.
But not with me.
Okay.
I'm real sorry about that.
They had my boys tow you.
You can't park your car
on the front lawn of city hall.
Yes, Ruby says
apparently it's a thing.
You need a ride?
I do.
I could take you home.
You know, I have a better idea.
Okay. What's that?
You could take me to dinner.
Hmm. Well, sounds reasonable.
Hmm.
Who's paying?
Oh, I just spent
all my money on a house.
That's kinda sounding
like a... date.
You know, Ernie,
there's no "kinda" about it.
-After you, my dear.
-Oh, thank you.
You just don't get this kind
of treatment on Tinder.
Ernie, I need
to ask you something.
What's that?
Do you know
what a bathroom selfie is?
I do not.
Good.
-That's good.
-That's real good.
For someone to meet
One woman
Who was looking for a man
Hey, Ernie,
she doesn't have a curfew!
-Now I'm hoping
-Hoping
That the feeling is right
-And I'm wondering
-Wondering
If you'll stay
for the night
So I'm coming
I don't wanna be lonely
-Oh
-Baby, please tell me
I wanna love you all over
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe it's true?
Do you believe in love?
Oh, you're making me
believe it, too
Now the feeling
Is beginning to grow
And the meaning
Is something you only know
If you believe it
Take my hand,
and I'll take your heart
Come on
-Now I wonder
-Wonder
Where does true love begin?
-I'm going under
-Under
So I'm letting you in
My woman
-I don't wanna be lonely
-Oh
Baby, please tell me
I wanna love you all over
-Do you believe in love?
-Do you believe in love?
Do you believe it's true?
Do you believe
that it's true?
Do you believe in love?
Oh, you're making me
believe it, too
Yeah
I used to have you
in a photograph
I'm so glad it's changed
But now I've got you,
and it's gonna last
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe
in love?
-Do you believe it's true?
-I'm so glad
-I'm so glad
-Do you believe in love?
Oh, you're making me
believe it, too, yeah
Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Do you believe in love?
Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh, whee-ooh
Do you believe it's true?
Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Do you believe in the love?
Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh
-Whee-ooh
-I believe in love, too
-Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
-Oh...
Whee-ooh, ooh-ooh, whee-ooh,
whee-ooh...
Hey, yeah
My baby left me
And I'm feeling so bad
Chill
Ah
Oh, huh
My baby left me
Ooh, and it's making me mad
Oh
And I'm all out of love
All out of love
Ooh, I'm all out of love
Oh
Said I'm all out of love
All out of love
Ooh, I'm all out of love
Huh.