Rolling Loud (2026) Movie Script

1
Oh, god dammit.
Oh, no, not now.
Hey, man, you gotta answer that.
That's yo bitch, man.
For real.
Okay.
It is my bitch.
Hi, honey.
Hi. Hi.
How's everything going?
Oh, everything's going--
it's going pretty good.
All right, Ziggy-Zoo,
let's do this.
So, if X is the width--
or maybe it's the length.
No, X is the width.
But then what is that dub--
is that a W?
Did they change Ws?
This is so stupid.
I'm never gonna use pi in life.
That's not true, okay?
You are gonna have to use it.
When?
Well, no,
you might never have to use it.
We just gotta jump
through these hoops, okay,
so then you get a good grade.
Then you can get
into a good college.
-Then that sets you up to--
-And get a job
at Raynard and Ferguson.
If you're lucky enough
to get a job
at a top 100 company
like Raynard and Ferguson,
damn right.
Yeah, and drive the company car.
You used to love that car.
What, now you're too cool
for it?
You do still like that car.
Hey, put this down for a second.
Come on, focus, okay?
Stop fidgeting.
Let's concentrate.
Actually, you know what,
let's take a--
Do you have
any history homework?
Should we do that?
Dad, Dad, Dad,
Rolling Loud
just announced their lineup!
-What?
-Can I go? Please.
-Go where?
-Please, can I go?
Rolling Loud.
Okay, you keep saying that.
I don't know
what a Rolling Loud is.
What? It's the biggest
hip-hop festival in the world.
How do you not know about it?
All the best rappers
are gonna be there.
What, like Eminem and Jay-Z?
Travis Scott.
Sexyy Red.
-Carti.
-Cardi B?
No, Playboi Carti.
Dad.
Look at these names.
-Who is this?
-Dad.
Veeze? Stone Cold Jzzle?
No, come on.
You are not going somewhere
to see someone called
Ski Mask the Slump God.
-Okay.
-That sounds like
-a serial killer.
-Dad.
I need to see Travis, Dad.
Travis Scott.
Did you even see
where this is taking place?
It's in a parking lot.
What do you have
against parking lots?
93% of the crimes
in this country
are happening
in parking lots.
What are you talking about?
It's dangerous, okay?
I can't let you do it.
Let's take some
of this excitement, okay,
and get back
to the W situation.
Here we go, let's go.
Fine.
Did you know
that the whole time?
Never let me do anything.
Come on, that's not true, I--
We went to Disneyland, like,
a few years ago.
Megan Thee Stallion.
What type of hip-hop festival
has a horse?
She's a rapper, Dad.
Not a good name.
Mel, I'm telling you,
I--you--he was so excited.
It's like I have not seen him
like that since, I don't know,
since he was, like,
a little kid,
and it was nice to see him
happy for a second.
He's not going
to some hip-hop festival
in Hard Rock Stadium.
Well, actually, it's not
in the Hard Rock Stadium.
It's in the parking lot.
I mean, what could go wrong
in a parking lot?
Drugs? Alcohol? Hookers?
People jumping off of roofs?
There's no roofs
in parking lots.
I don't think
there are hookers either.
Hookers are everywhere.
I mean, by that logic
he shouldn't go
to the library anymore.
There aren't hookers
in libraries.
Forget it.
I just...
Maybe if there were hookers
in libraries,
more people would read.
-I would.
-He's not going.
I can't hear you 'cause
I turned on my toothbrush.
-My research...
-That's crazy.
Look at this.
1K, VIP ticket.
Yeah, my kid wanted
to see Taylor Swift,
and now I'm basically
on welfare.
But you can't put a price tag
on memories
you create with your kid.
And overall well-being.
Lucas, I love
where you're coming from,
I love it,
but I gotta
respectfully disagree, man.
Now, by a show of hands,
who here watches
adult entertainment?
Okay, Terry, come on,
we're not gonna be talking
about porn.
We're not talking
about porn, G.D.,
we're talking about
adult entertainment.
Sorry, what's G.D.?
He's, uh,
he's got this fat hog--
G.D.'s nothing.
It--it stands
for "g'day, mate,"
because he thinks I look like
Crocodile Dundee.
It doesn't stand for that,
I can promise you that.
You do kind of look
like Crocodile Dundee.
All right, Terry, go ahead,
continue with what
you were saying
about adult entertainment.
Everybody watches it, right?
Bryce doesn't watch it,
obviously.
Look at him, looks like
he's gonna shoot up the office.
Hey, no one--hey,
nobody's shooting up any place,
all right?
Bryce doesn't even own a gun.
I own several guns.
Okay, well, that's your right
as an American,
-Second Amendment.
-Okay, okay,
nobody has to admit
that they watch porn.
-No one is.
-But blink if you watch it.
Hank, I knew it would be you.
Now give me an adult
entertainment category
you would watch from home.
Not in the office, okay?
In the office, great category.
Great category.
-No.
-Thank you, Hank.
-This is locker room talk, okay?
-Locker room!
Thick Latina real estate agents.
Yes, Ramon!
Airbnb peephole.
Babysitter lost my kid
but gave me another.
This is all good stuff.
Now what do all these things
have in common?
Dicks and pussies.
And they all take place
in rooms with furniture.
Speaking of rooms
filled with furniture,
Erin, I want you to kick off
this analysis--
I'd actually like
to hear this out.
Yeah, me too, Hank.
This is a family business.
No, exactly.
40% of adult entertainment
is within the family.
Is it really?
What about MILFs?
-Huge.
-Oh, massive.
Oh, you're counting them?
It just depends
on whether it's your mom
or a friend's mom,
but you wanna--
Huge market, about 47%.
Oh, okay, well, I didn't know.
I like the the one where
the stepson thinks he's gay
and the stepmom shows him
that he's not.
We've kind of moved past that.
I like the one where
the stepson has a condition
where he can never
get hard again,
and the stepmom cures it.
I like the one where a stepson
breaks both of his hands
so mom helps him
by washing his balls.
Well, he couldn't wash himself.
And then she starts blowing him
for good measure.
Guys, what--what are we talking
about here?
Market shares.
We spend $30,000
on a 30-second commercial
during Everybody Loves Raymond
reruns.
Our $30,000 commercial
is going in one ear,
right out the other.
I love Raymond
as much as everybody else,
but stepmom bangs stepson
to get him to go back to school
is 23 minutes long.
Okay, what's your point?
If 25% of this country
is addicted
to consuming content
that overall has
a greater engagement value
than the Super Bowl,
and they're all fucking
on a couch,
why are they not fucking on
a Raynard and Ferguson couch?
Josh has to shift tutoring
from Wednesday to Thursday
and I have tennis.
-Can you take Zion?
-Yep.
And I have Sarah's
birthday dinner Friday night,
so if you could be home,
I'd appreciate it.
Friday, making a note.
-Friday night.
-Got it.
-Copy that.
-It's girls' night.
You have a lot
of girls' nights.
You know,
you can have a guys' night.
Yeah, I know I can.
Did you ask Ferguson
for that raise
you were supposed to get?
Um...
Been four years.
Four--four years?
Can I show you guys something?
-Yeah.
-Yes.
-Yeah, sure.
-What do we got?
I present to you
why I should be allowed
to go to Rolling Loud
and what I will do to earn it.
You said it was dangerous,
but 121 people were killed
last year from falling coconuts.
So, when you guys brought me
to Hawaii,
you were actually putting me
in more danger.
Observe.
Daddy, why did you take me
to Hawaii?
Mommy, help me, please.
Okay, we can skip
to the next thing.
Yeah, yeah, moving on.
I will take out the trash
any time you guys ask me.
And I won't leave my clothes
lying around the house.
I will always clean my room.
If I can go to Rolling Loud.
Please, please,
please, please, please.
Let me go.
I will do all of the chores.
Okay, no, no, you don't--
you don't have to beg.
That--that--that was great.
I--I think your mother
and I both agree,
which makes it hard
for me to say
that the answer is still no.
And I know that's not the news
you wanted,
so I got you
a little consolation prize,
just two tickets
to Rolling Loud.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
this is the best day of my life.
-Yeah!
-We're actually going
to Rolling Loud!
Rolling Loud!
Rolling--
Are you out of your mind?
I'm not out of my mind,
I just--
I mean, have you ever seen him
that happy?
Let's--that presentation
was great.
I mean, I think
we should be encouraging
that kind of initiative.
He's not going.
You know what? Okay. I--
You're giving up.
No, no, I'm not giving up,
but at a certain point,
yeah, I'm gonna wave
the white flag.
This is about the safety
of our son,
and you know how he gets.
And you know how you get
in a crowd.
What if you have
one of your panic attacks?
I fainted
because I had locked my knees
and that cut off
the blood flow.
That's not a panic attack.
Well, I wouldn't want you
fainting on Zion either.
Honey, please, I just want
to build a great memory
with my son
before it's too late.
Do you really want
to risk his life
just to be the cool dad?
I'm not trying
to be the cool dad,
and we're not storming the beach
at Normandy.
It...
Okay, I'll sell the tickets.
Lord, I--I--
I can't take it to...
It doesn't have to be
a painful death.
It shouldn't be
because I still love her,
but it may be, you know,
one of those truck drivers,
he's been up for days,
he's exhausted,
he just--he just reaches
for his coffee
and he just--he just spills.
He just--he just
accidentally swerves and that--
Dad, what is this prayer?
It--it--
it's a Saint Christopher prayer,
patron saint of travelers.
Get some sleep, buddy.
Okay, see ya.
Hello.
Hey, Hank, come on in.
Thank you.
-Uh--
-What do you need?
Well, I just wanted
to follow up
on the email
that I sent you where--
-What email?
-Uh, I have a printout of it
that I can give you right here.
-That's great.
-And, uh, basically,
it was just, uh,
I wanted to follow--
Oh, how you doin'?
Kickin' ass and takin' names.
All right.
Should you and I
maybe talk alone?
Anything you say to me
you can say
in front of my son Max.
He's gonna be the boss anyway.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll--I'll look forward
to that.
So, yeah, I've, you know,
been at the company
for a good many years
and I was hoping that
with the rising cost of living
and inflation and the Fed--
Did I tell you to sit down?
No, sorry.
Um.
Take a seat.
What is it?
What I was hoping is that
maybe I could get a pay rate
-that is more representative--
-Maxie,
what does this sound like?
Sounds like he's asking
for a raise, Pops.
How are
Hank's department's numbers?
-Ehh.
-Yeah.
-Well, no, I--
-So, you're asking for a raise
while your department
slightly underperforms.
We slightly underperformed
for two quarters--
-Two quarters is a half.
-I agree.
And doesn't he get the perk
of a company car?
Well, I don't know
if that's a perk. I--
You don't like the company car?
Ungrateful.
No, no, I'm not.
You know what, I'm so sorry,
this--this meeting got off
just, you know,
in--in a crazy way because
I'm very happy with my job.
-Good.
-With the car.
This wasn't my idea.
-Whose idea was it?
-It was my wife.
What a pussy.
Well, no, no, it's--
AI can do his job
for $29.99 a month.
I don't know anything
about A and I,
but this kid is a genius.
Come on, sit down.
I need you to fire Terry.
What?
Your son?
Y-your brother?
Half-brother.
He's in your department,
isn't he?
Yeah.
I--I mean, he is, but, uh...
I've accumulated a list.
Wears jean shorts to dinner
with clients.
Refuses to use the men's room.
Does not even know
how to mute the computer
on a Zoom call.
-Well, that's tricky.
-If he was not my son,
he would have been gone
a long time ago.
I get it,
but wouldn't he know
that this was just coming
from you?
He's not bright enough.
He's a moron.
Well, I--that's...
I have to agree.
He's got a good heart.
And he is--he's creative.
He thinks outside the box.
I can see him right now
in the showroom
humping a sectional.
Ah.
Yeah.
Well, and I'm not digging
in my heels here,
but I don't think I should.
I really don't.
You want me to show you
how that AI works, Pop?
Yeah, I would love that.
You know what, let--I--
Let's shitcan Terry.
Let's fire his ass.
I--it's--it's too much, right?
-There you go.
-Yeah.
Thanks for coming in.
Thank you.
-Hank.
-Yes?
You got a real friend
in my pops here.
Don't forget it.
How can he forget that?
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
-Holy mackerel.
-Terrible.
I--I keep forgetting
he works here.
No, no, no,
that's what I'm saying.
Imagine our couch
was the casting couch.
This could be huge, dude.
Boss man in the building.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, guys,
gotta put you on mute.
What's up, man?
How do you doin', Terry?
-You want a stone crab?
-No, I'm good, thank you.
-You sure?
-Yeah.
Um, listen,
I have been thinking,
and I just wanted
to stop by and thank you
for all the great ideas, okay,
and just how much you--
how much Terry
you bring to this office.
-Oh, thank you.
-And sometimes
you get people
who don't have the vision
to recognize some
of your creative initiatives.
Did somebody say something?
No, no, no one said anything.
I think people get jealous,
okay,
because you're an idea man.
And I've started thinking,
"Let him go someplace
where it's appreciated,
where it's embraced,
so he doesn't have
to swim upstream
against the water."
Why would I do that?
I love it here, dude.
I love furniture.
It's in my blood.
-And you've been amazing.
-Mm-hm.
But sometimes
it's not the right fit.
And as difficult
as it is for me to say,
we're moving in
a different direction, Terry.
-Are you firing me?
-No, I'm not.
I--I think that puts--
No, my--my dad told you
to fire me, didn't he?
No, he didn't.
Look, this is not from your dad.
Dude, he hates me, man.
Look, this decision
came down from the board
because it's
a publicly traded company.
It's a private company.
Public, private,
it's like who knows
where we are these days?
It's like some riddle.
Hank, I'm begging you, man.
Please don't make me leave here.
I love it here.
-I love Raynard and Ferguson.
-Listen, listen to me.
A month from now,
you're not even gonna
remember me or this company.
Hey, look what I did.
-Wow.
-Look at that.
Is that permanent?
Why--why is it so inflamed?
I don't know,
I think it's infected.
God, nothing good
ever happens to me, man.
Listen to me.
Terry, Terry, look at me.
My dad's right, I'm an idiot.
No, you're not.
What am I gonna tell Max?
He thinks I'm the smartest
person on the planet.
Well, I mean,
he's your half-brother, right?
I'm his half-brother,
but, God, I'm his whole world.
Hey, what--what's this?
Is this you
and your dad together?
Yeah, it's--it's us
at Wind River Casino.
He--he told my mom
we were gonna go see my grandma.
We went to the casino instead.
It was the best day of my life.
Hank, please help me.
I'll do anything, man.
Okay, look, next week
I'll talk to the board, okay?
-Are you serious?
-Yeah.
-Oh my god, you're the best.
-But probably not. I--
-Okay, okay.
-Agh!
-What's the matter?
-Nothing.
It hurts fucking good, dude.
-Is it the tattoo?
-Yeah.
Maybe we can work something out.
But no guarantees, okay?
I can just talk to them.
All right, let me go.
Hello?
Mr. Ferguson.
Oh, yeah.
Oh. Hey, guys.
That--uh, you must have
came unmuted at some point.
Hello.
Hey, guys, I think I had a, uh,
pretty good idea
for the long weekend.
What do you say all of us
head up to Uncle Jojo's cabin?
I have Sarah's birthday dinner
on Friday night.
No, wait,
that's not this Friday.
You said that was
the next Friday.
I told you, like, 15 times.
Oh, you're right.
Hank, you're such an idiot.
God!
I'm sorry, you're right.
I forgot.
I've had a crazy day
and I just...
Well, I mean,
you two can still go.
Really?
But...
You wouldn't feel left out
with your two boys up there
having fun, making rock piles,
maybe putting a new door
on the hen house?
Are you kidding?
Okay.
Ziggy?
What do you think?
I am too busy being depressed
and miserable
that I'm not going
to Rolling Loud.
Daddy's right.
You need to get outside,
have some fun.
Yeah, come on.
A boys' trip, the two of us.
Let's do it.
-Will you pay me?
-What--
Now he wants to get paid
to go have a great time
riding dirt bikes, fishing.
Can we do fireworks?
Oh, yeah.
No fireworks.
Oh, no.
Fine. 20 bucks.
Ten.
Fifteen if you smile.
Zi.
Zion.
Hey.
What?
Can we talk a little bit?
Okay.
About what?
Anything.
I don't care.
Like, how've you been?
Is this a trick?
No, it's not.
It's just a conversation.
You made any cool new friends?
Do you have a crush?
What's your favorite--
Dad, no, it's cool.
You listen to your music,
I'm going to the lake for you.
It's--it's whatever.
No, no, hey, no.
-Come on, let's listen together.
-You don't like my music.
Why do you say that?
How do you know that?
'Cause every time I turn it on,
you say you hate it.
Okay, well, maybe I haven't
given it fresh ears.
Here, let's put it on.
-Crank your tunes.
-Okay.
Dad.
Look.
Turn the music off.
How are you doin'?
Taking the boy fishing.
Teaching him some life skills.
Just...
Okay, turn this shit off, okay?
Turn it off.
See, I told you
you wouldn't like it.
Well, no, I--I--
They didn't like it, I think.
What? I can tell you're stewing.
It's so unfair,
she always does this.
No, no, wait a second,
no, no, hold it.
You know that expression,
"Life's a bitch
and then you die"?
-Yeah.
-Okay, well,
sometimes your mom's a bitch.
-What?
-The thing is--
Yeah.
What I'm saying is,
can your mom be a bitch?
Yeah.
Can I be a bitch?
Sure.
By the way,
you've been a little bitch
for way too long about this
Rolling Loud thing, okay?
We need to drop it, okay?
Man up.
Now where the fuck are we?
Huh?
Why are we pulling
into this parking lot?
Did I take a wrong turn?
I got distracted?
Take out your G--
What does that sign say?
Rolling Loud?
What?
How--that...
That--did the car
just steer itself
to Rolling Loud?
-Is this destiny?
-Rolling Loud?
-Is this meant to be?
-Dad!
Thank you so much!
Oh, my God, you're the greatest
dad in the whole world!
Yeah, baby!
Now, listen, this stays
on the down-low forever.
Low, low, low!
Mom doesn't know,
no one, all right?
Okay? Okay, Mom does not know.
-Okay?
-Okay.
-Where are we?
-Rolling Loud!
Where are we?
-Fishing at the lake house.
-That's right.
Now, let these little bitches
do some fishing!
-Let's go!
-Yeah!
Do you lie to Mom a lot?
What?
No! We--we're married.
Look, this was
a one-time little lie, okay?
Just because I could see what
a big deal this was for you.
And technically, I don't
really think of it as a lie
'cause I've known your mom
a lot longer than you have.
And I think part of her
wants you to do this.
I really do.
But she has to say no
because that's her role,
you know?
And then part of my role
is I gotta be able
to read between the lines
and understand
that sometimes
when your mom says "no,"
it's not a hard no.
It can be a maybe.
It can sometimes be a yes.
Does that make sense?
So, when a girl says no,
it doesn't always mean no.
Sometimes, it means yes!
No! God, no. No.
"No" always means no.
But you just said that "no"
can mean "yes."
Stop, I was talking about
the situation with your--
Forget it. "No" always means no,
even with your mom.
Fine, yes, I lie to your mom.
Come on, let's have
a great concert.
Here we go.
Whoa.
How old?
Well, I'm 51,
and this wild man here is 13.
Need to be 16.
-Next!
-No, wait, wait. Since when?
Since always.
It's been on the website
this whole time.
Look, you know
how it's like, you know,
a kid can't drink
till a certain age,
but if he's with his parents
and they say it's okay
for him to have
a glass of wine...
Could you slide out of my line
so I can do my job, please?
Clear, please.
Clear.
W--wait a second,
that kid is not 16.
That's the Rizzler.
He goes where he wants.
No way!
Fuck this!
Come here.
When were you born?
July 18th, 2012. Why?
'Cause I was just thinking,
wer--weren't you born
July 18th, 2009,
which makes you 16, right?
Oh. Another lie?
Right. When were you born?
July 18th, 2009.
Hey, come on, be confident.
-Puff your chest out a little.
-I'm 16.
You don't even need
to do the fake voice, okay?
-Just--just be yourself.
-Dad, I'm 13.
I know, I'm saying be yourself
but three years older.
Okay, you got
your driver's license,
you know, maybe you've kissed
a girl, or a boy,
it doesn't matter.
Mom and I are gonna love you--
Okay, Dad, just--just stop.
-I got it.
-Okay.
I was born July 18th, 2009.
-I'm 16.
-Oh, yeah.
Do you know who else goes
wherever they want?
-Zion-fucking-Goldstone.
-Uh-huh.
You know why?
'Cause no means yes!
No. No, it's because
I'm your dad.
I was gonna say
'cause I'm Hank Goldstone.
Hold up.
How old are you, kid?
-I'm 16.
-You got an ID?
Oh, man, sorry I left it
at home, though.
What? Come on, this guy,
he never brings his wallet,
so I gotta pay for everything.
All right, ol' alligator arms.
-Come on.
-Wait, wait, wait.
What year were you born in?
-You're his father?
-Yeah.
I'm his dad,
we did a home birth.
It was beautiful.
What grade is he in?
-Grade?
-Yeah.
He...
Well, I feel like
he should be in college
'cause he's so damn smart,
but you're just a--
he's a sophomore.
Okay. Good to go.
Enjoy.
...for "The Biggest Part 2,"
what you say, huh?
Big Za, baby.
The biggest is in the building!
Rolling Loud,
I fucking love y'all,
you hear me?
I think Dad maybe made
a terrible parenting decision.
Dad.
Dad, Dad.
Hey, hey, hey, come on, hey.
Just...
I'm not five,
I know what tits are.
I know, but, like,
just stay close to me, okay?
And, Zion, don't say "tits,"
okay?
Be a gentleman.
Say--what should we say?
Just say--say "boobs."
There's a lot of boobs here.
Yeah.
-Those are great boobs.
-Hey, you know what?
Just forget it.
Let's just not say anything.
Just think it
in our minds now, okay?
Sometimes you can think it,
but you don't say it, right?
In life, a lot of times
you can think stuff,
but you don't say it.
Guess what I'm thinking.
I know what you're thinking,
but don't say it.
Yeah!
What?
What?
What?
Dad, I need to go
to the bathroom.
Okay, uh, yeah,
just meet me right back here.
Let me get us some grub.
We'll smash a couple tacos
and be ready to hit it.
Sound good, Ziggy-zoo?
Dad, don't call me that
in public.
Oh, give me a break.
If there was ever a time
to call you Ziggy-zoo,
it's at this show, I mean,
who we got playing?
Baby Drill, Little Da Boss Man,
Gorilla...
-Gorilla Zoe?
-Gorilla Zoe.
But all of a sudden,
Ziggy-zoo, that's gonna...
-I guess you're right.
-Oh, no, I know I'm right.
Here, take this.
All right, meet me back here.
-All right.
-Okay.
Don't forget!
Squat above, keep it neat,
keep your tush off the seat.
-Dad!
-It's okay.
G.D.?
G.D.!
-Shut up!
-Hey! Terry!
What--what are you doing here?
I'm here every year, man.
This place fucks!
Have fun.
Are you--are you by yourself?
No, no, I'm--I'm with my son.
He--he just went
to the bathroom.
Hold on, excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.
I'm with him.
-It's good to see you!
-Good to see you.
Oh, this is so cool.
How old's your son?
He is 13. Shh.
But you have to be 16
to be here.
No, I know,
that's why I went "shh."
We kind of snuck in.
Why--why would you tell me that?
-What do you mean?
-It's illegal, Hank.
-No, I know, but it's--
-Now I'm liable.
I'm an accomplice to this.
Security!
Stranger danger!
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
That's fucking awesome.
What a cool dad.
It was pretty awesome.
And your secret is safe
with me, too.
Thank you.
You can have one of my secrets
if you want.
That's okay.
I eat a little bit
of my deodorant.
-You what?
-Want some drugs?
I'm just kidding.
Unless you want some drugs.
God, this is so cool
you're here, man.
Hank "Girthy Dick" Goldstone
at Rolling Loud,
gonna do drugs out of my butt.
Terry, hey, don't call me that.
You want me to just pretend
I didn't see
what I saw that day?
-You didn't see anything.
-I saw it, Hank.
You don't forget
something like that.
-Stop.
-You should be proud.
Proud of that thing
and the nickname.
Isn't there somebody
waiting for you or something?
-Ha!
-What's "ha" mean?
Does that--you're here alone?
Hells yeah, I'm here alone.
You don't bring sand
to the beach.
You of all people
should know that.
Well, sometimes
you bring friends, but...
-I got 'em.
-What can I get ya?
Uh, I'll get a couple
chicken tacos and some...
Oh, no, no, what are we,
Ethan Allen employees?
Don't do that. I got this.
We're gonna start off
with the king crab legs--
Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa.
-This is a taco truck.
-Oh, let's go! Okay.
So, we're gonna start off
with two Korean barbecue tacos,
half North, half South,
let's bring the borders
together, shall we?
And I want a plate
of the carne asada nachos.
Deep-fry the motherfuckers
with a side of pollo asado
on the side in a quinoa bowl.
Replace the sauce
with barbecue,
and, yeah, tell 'em
it's for Terry.
-It's for Terry?
-Who the fuck is Terry?
It's quite an appetizer.
I thought you said
you were here alone.
Hank, this is Rolling Loud.
Okay, we go big or we go home.
You're going big, all right.
-My treat, please.
-No, it's not.
-I'm gonna get this.
-No, I insist.
It's gonna be $205.69.
Well, I'm not gonna fight you
for it.
-Go ahead.
-That's what I thought.
You saved my job, Hank,
it's kind of the least I can do.
Well, I haven't saved it yet,
but, um, thank you.
And, oh, may I get a Surfside
and a Coke?
Oh, I like the sound of that.
Make that dos of those,
por favor.
This is kind of embarrassing.
I don't have any cash on me.
I think they take credit cards.
But I keep my credit card
on the back of my phone
-so I never lose it.
-That's good.
I left my phone at home
so I could be present
at the concert
and enjoy my experience.
-That's all right, I got it.
-Thank you.
It's actually good
to leave your phone sometimes.
-I should do that.
-I gotta give you one more hug.
No, you don't.
You know what I love
about you, G.D.?
What's that?
You're not like
a helicopter parent.
No.
-Definitely not.
-I mean, your son's what, 13?
And you're letting him just
cruise around here by himself?
-That's awesome.
-No, he's not cruising around,
he just went to the bathroom.
-Good.
-Mm-hm.
He has been gone for a while,
though.
Yeah.
It has been, hasn't it?
Hank, he's fine.
This is Rolling Loud.
If I know this festival,
and I do,
he's probably
three knuckles deep
in Ice Spice right now.
-I don't know what that is--
-You take your three fingers...
Okay, I kinda do--hey, Terry,
okay, he's 13.
-It's inappropriate.
-Yeah, it just...
I don't know how to talk to you
outside the office.
Okay, well,
just talk to me normal.
It's hard when you're
a little intimidating.
Intimidating?
I always thought maybe you had
Tourette's or something.
I'm actually a little bit
on the spectrum.
-No. You?
-Yeah, uh-huh.
Maybe just at the beginning.
No, I'm down the line.
They gave me a parking pass.
-Did they?
-Mm-hm.
Oh.
So, if you don't want
to hang out with me
and I'm annoying or something,
I--
No, no, no, it's not that.
It's just--I'm just--
Now I'm starting
to get a little anxious.
Where is he?
He should be getting back here.
-Let me just call him.
-Good luck.
Cell service here is shit.
There are, like, some pockets
where you might find service,
-but...
-I better just go look for him.
Listen, I'm--I'm sorry
to eat and run,
but are you gonna be all right?
I'm fine. Hank, he'll be fine.
-I know.
-He's gonna turn up, I promise.
Okay, thank you, thank you.
And what a great surprise.
Have a--have a terrific
Rolling Loud.
Nice seeing you!
Hank, I'll help you
look for him.
-No.
-It's the least I can do.
-Terry...
-Hank, you saved my job,
you bought me food.
No, no, I don't want
to slow you down. Please.
Are you kidding? I can't wait
to meet Little G.D.
Don't call my 13-year-old G.D.
-Just call him Zion.
-Zion. I like Zion.
And I bet if Zion is anything
like his old man, he's...
he's a really good boy.
He is.
Thank you.
Big ol' girthy heart.
Can we just drop "girthy"
from the vernacular?
It's your dick.
Zion!
-Oh, my God!
-Is it Zion?
No, no, no, it's not him,
it's not him.
It might not even be a him.
-Zion!
-No wit' you, bro.
Zion, are you in here?
-Who is it?
-It's Daddy!
Did this pervert
just call himself Daddy?
No, no, I'm looking for my son.
You wish that pervert
was your daddy.
Hello.
-Terry!
-Zion!
Okay, look, eventually,
his phone is gonna work
or mine is gonna work
and we'll get in touch.
Until then, I'm not gonna panic.
I'm just gonna assume
he's enjoying the concert.
Unless he's been taken.
Taken? People don't get taken
at concerts, Terry.
She did in that movie Taken.
No, she didn't.
She got taken at the airport.
No, in the sequel,
she got taken at a concert.
-She got taken twice?
-She got took three times.
-Shit.
-What?
-Is it Zion?
-No, it's my wife.
Fuck!
-Or good?
-No, it's not good.
I thought you said
that the phones don't work here.
It's like I keep
getting messages.
You want me to answer it?
-I'm great under pressure, G.D.
-No, Terry,
of course I don't want you
to answer it.
Well, maybe she heard from him.
She might know where he's at.
Wanna suss it out?
Okay, uh, let me--
let me call her.
No, no.
No, just give me
a little privacy.
-Yeah, bossman.
-Okay.
Private conversation.
-Hello?
-Did you make it okay?
Hey, yes, yes, we made it.
We're--I--
It's just so great
just being here in nature
and just the beauty
of just being all unplugged.
Get out of the rat race.
-I texted you.
-I know, I got it, yeah.
I--I sent messages back.
Did you not get them?
I don't know.
The--the cell service
maybe is a little patchy.
Hank, hang up the phone!
You're live on karaoke, man!
-Sure.
-Everybody can hear you!
-Okay, is Zion doing okay?
-Sure, yeah.
-Can I say hi?
-Well, he's actually swimming.
-Okay.
-Mommy's on the phone.
He's waving. Hi!
Is he swimming alone?
No, no, he's not swimming alone.
I was out there with him.
We're playing Marco Polo--
Really! Eavesdropping?
You have no life, man.
-Have any self-respect at all?
-No.
-Really?
-All right, I better get back.
You like furniture?
Enjoy yourself.
Such a liar.
Such a liar!
Liar. I'm scared.
You're supposed to have
this massive dick.
You're Hank
"Girthy Dick" Johnstone,
yet you have no fucking balls.
Scared of your boss
and your wife.
Scared of your mom
when she'd bring out that belt
and just wail
on your little behind.
Grow a pair of balls.
You've got this.
We heard it.
What?
Lying to your wife, huh, G.D.?
Hey, you know what?
I don't want to talk about that,
all right?
Look, my son is lost.
He's 13.
There's people walking around
wearing ski masks,
wearing paint for clothes.
There's no cell service
unless, of course,
it's my wife,
and then I get projected
on a giant screen
to get embarrassed.
-I get it.
-Okay.
She probably makes
all the decisions.
-Yes!
-You can't sleep.
You won't take Ambien
because you probably did
some weird shit on it before.
You've been pushing your sadness
deep down inside for years.
You probably secretly pray
she gets hit by a car
-or something.
-Not a car.
She didn't even want you
to bring him here,
but you did.
-'Cause he's your son, too.
-He is.
But you didn't want
to duke it out with her,
so you chose the path
of least resistance.
You lied. Now he's gone.
Terry, it...
It's been really good
seeing you,
but I need to focus
on finding Zion right now solo,
by myself.
Can you please
just give me some space?
Let me go do this, okay?
I'll see you at work.
Thank you.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
I hope you find him, Hank.
I'll keep an eye out for him.
Okay, thanks.
-Good to see you, Hank.
-Good seeing you.
-And thank you!
-Yeah.
Zion!
Zion!
Zion!
Hey!
-Oh, so sorry.
-Ah!
Get back!
Listen, I've got
sort of an emergency.
I was at the food court.
I lost my son.
He went to the bathroom.
-When I went over there--
-Sir, sir, calm down, please.
-What's your son's name?
-Sorry.
Zion Isaac Goldstone.
He's 13, kind of curly
blondish--
No, no, no, you need to be 16
to be admitted
into this festival.
I understand that,
but that ship has sailed,
so let's now,
can we just focus--
Sir. Sir, sir, sir, sir.
You told me your son was 16.
You lied to security?
Look, he is 16.
You just said he was 13.
I understand that.
So, let's think of him as 13
even though he's 16
because there's more
of a sense of urgency
if there's a little boy lost,
right?
The hell is this guy doing here?
He was with a 13-year-old
at Gate B.
What is going on here, sir?
Let me be fully transparent.
I lied.
I'm sorry.
I used a little finesse.
You knowingly provided
false information,
putting your son in danger.
You're making it sound
premeditated.
That's a violation of
Section 273A of the penal code.
-Of which code?
-So, you're teaching your son
to be a liar,
that's what you're doing?
No, I'm not, listen--
Call in child
protective services.
No, we're not calling
child protective--
God!
Is--is it a pull?
Nobody cuffs my best friend!
Ah! God!
Down, down!
Come on, Hank, come on!
We gotta go, we gotta go!
What was that?
Stage cannon.
It's a production prop
or special effect they use
to recreate a real cannon.
Oh, Terry,
what were you thinking?
Coming in like a cowboy,
just blasting away?
You shot me in the ass.
What would Liam Neeson do?
I saw you in trouble,
I wanted to help.
They were gonna arrest you.
No, they weren't.
We were gonna get it
straightened out,
and then they were gonna
help me find my son.
We're fucking
festival fugitives now.
No, no, no, you are,
you're a festival fugitive.
I'm a dad
searching for his son.
That's my story.
You threw a punch.
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did!
You flipped a guy
over your shoulder.
You know how moms get,
like, that superhero strength
where they can lift a car
off their baby?
You did that.
You used your mom strength
and you fucking
flipped that guy
over your shoulder.
-He was huge.
-Huge, dude.
I just sent him--just flying.
You assaulted him.
You don't manhandle a father
searching for his son,
so, yeah, I did just pick him up
and just throw him.
Yeah, that was crazy,
it happened so fast.
-Are you here to take me?
-What?
I'm done running. Just take me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no,
no one's taking you.
I'm a volunteer.
Sorry, you just scared me.
You look like you could use
a cold drink.
Can I get you somethin'?
I'd love some water.
Only got alcohol.
Okay, I'll take a Boone's Farm
in a brown bag.
Got two beers.
-I'm Linda.
-I'm Terry.
This is my boss
and my best friend, Hank.
I'm a little worked up
'cause I...
I lost my son, Zion.
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
-No, he's not dead. He's 13.
Oh, so he's not even
supposed to be here.
Well, no.
I know I made a mistake,
but, look, I...
I was at the food court,
he was supposed to go
to the porta-potty, and...
-Are ya happy?
-...he was gonna come back.
You're pouring gasoline
on a missing child.
-He's freaking out now!
-No, I'm not freaking out.
I'm just trying to tell her
what happened.
We were supposed to meet back.
Take a second. Listen.
Just sit down, okay?
And close your eyes,
and breathe in through your nose
and out through your mouth.
You are freaking out.
Yeah.
You know, people are never
really lost.
They're just struggling
to be found.
That's so fucking stupid.
I love that.
That's what I've been saying.
No one's ever lost,
I said that earlier.
Maybe you didn't hear me.
You need some electrolytes.
-He's fine.
-Here.
Dehydrated.
Take these and you'll feel
so much better.
-Teddy?
-It's Terry.
Listen, this happens
all the time.
Every year, kids get separated,
and we always find them.
-You do?
-Yeah, we have systems in place.
-You always find them?
-Yes.
You just have to go
to security.
Yeah, have you gone
to security?
Uh, yeah, I went to security
until someone decided
to come in with a stage cannon
and just light up
every security guard in sight.
They were gonna arrest him
for child endangerment.
I busted in, I broke him out.
Hank flipped a guy
with his mom strength.
That was kind of cool.
Oh, shit, that was you guys?
Yeah, that was us.
They are pissed.
-And they're looking for you.
-I told ya.
You make everything negative.
-I hate her, Hank.
-What are we gonna do now?
He's probably just out there
having a great time.
What do you mean? He's lost.
-He's at a concert.
-Did you not hear that?
Think about what
your first concert was.
Okay, okay, here,
come here, come here.
What was your first concert?
My first concert
was Lilith Fair.
We saw Sarah McLachlan,
I had a crush on a girl.
This is his Lilith Fair.
He was probably dreaming
to come here, right?
Yeah, he did
really want to come.
Yeah, it's Rolling Loud.
Yeah, I'm a basket case.
I'm sorry.
Terry, I'm sorry.
-I was freaking out.
-It's okay.
People lose people
all the time.
But you know what
they usually end up finding?
What?
Love.
-"I'm his favorite ho"?
-Mm-hm.
Who is this?
Uh, that's Sexyy Red.
"I'm throwin' this shit back.
I'm your favorite ho."
This is--Zion and I
were singing this
-on the way to the concert.
-What?
She's on Stage One.
-He's gotta be there.
-He's probably in that crowd.
No, hold on,
the main stage is huge.
Let's get to the front and see
if she'll make
an announcement.
You know, sometimes,
artists will stop the show
and put someone's picture up.
Hank, this is the dumbest idea
I've ever heard
in my entire life.
We should split up
to cover more ground.
Hank and I will go this way,
and you...
No, no. Hey, hey, Terry.
We can't go anywhere
near that stage.
Oh, we're going.
If security sees us,
we're busted, dude.
We're wanted men.
Security doesn't know me.
Come with me
if you want to find your son.
Hank, we're goin' this way.
That's a dead end.
It's a dead end.
I'm sorry, Hank,
but this is a duo, right?
-Not a trio.
-Yeah, it is,
but it's okay to get a little
help every now and then.
I know, but we're
Kendrick and Mustard.
We are!
-We're Starsky and Hutch.
-Yep, yep.
-Shrek and Donkey.
-Yep.
-Bed Bath & Beyond.
-Zip it, Farquaad!
Shrek hated Donkey!
No, he didn't,
they were best friends!
They completed each other.
Shrek was all sad and alone
until he found
his trusty steed.
Terry.
I'm saying three's a crowd.
You're stinkin' up
the swamp, Linda.
The best things
are in threes, okay?
Like the big three, you know?
-You know, Linda--
-I saw Zion!
-You what?
-I just saw him, he was...
Where?
We got him. Move in.
Scarecrow and Sparkle,
two o'clock.
-Watch your backs!
-Get on them.
-There you go.
-Move!
'Scuse me.
-You got eyes?
-No.
They were just right here.
He was there!
Zion! I saw him!
-What?
-I don't know, it was so fast,
but it was like--
Okay, but you could be
hallucinating.
Linda, I'm not hallucinating.
Well, that is one
of the side effects
of a Lucky Dip.
-What?
-A Lucky Dip.
No, no,
I heard what you said,
I'm not tracking
what you said
about side effects
of a drug?
-Do you not do drugs?
-No--no, I don't do drugs!
Oops.
Watch your backs.
Linda, I--I thought
you gave me aspirin!
What was that?
200 milligrams of potassium
for the dehydration,
and then 200 milligrams
of valerian root
to calm the nerves,
and then, Lucky Dips.
That--Lucky?
That doesn't sound medical.
I got it from
a guy in a ski mask
in the parking lot.
You're dead.
It came from a good place,
Hank!
Oh yeah, get those out.
If you really wanna trigger
that gag reflex,
you gotta get in!
If anyone's gonna finger Hank,
it's me.
I know how to finger
my own throat.
Okay.
I can feel it, he's--
he's out here.
He needs me, he's...
That's it.
You're off the team, Linda.
-That's okay.
-Ferris wheel!
If you get to the top
of the Ferris wheel,
your phone will work.
You're closer
to an unobstructed line,
and that's where
the signal clears up,
I promise.
Let's go.
...for Ski Mask the Slump God,
let me get a "Fucked up!"
Fucked up!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Oh, shit, sorry.
Are we in your pod?
No, that's fine.
No, we just came
for some privacy.
Close the door,
keep it safe.
Sorry, girls,
we're just dealing
with a little bit
of a situation here.
Beat it, Linda,
five's a crowd.
We're, like,
30 feet in the air!
You're high. Ten, tops,
maybe a baker's dozen.
Wait, high?
You guys have drugs?
-Oh, hell yeah.
-Yes.
No, no, just say no.
-I'm Brittany.
-I'm Tiffany.
I'm Linda, hi.
She's not with us.
Hi, I'm Terry.
This is my best friend, Hank.
Some people call him G.D.
G.D.? What does that stand for?
-No, no, they--
-Girthy Dick.
-Oh, really?
-That's not...
He lost his son today.
Oh, my God.
-Yeah.
-I am so sorry.
-Yeah.
-Brain tumor?
No--no! No, no. We got
separated this morning,
and I've been trying
to find him, and
the phone doesn't work,
we're not getting service.
I'm sure
that you'll find him
before the acid smack force
does.
Yeah, I know, but--
wait, before what?
-But he's only 13.
-Shut up!
-Thirteen?
-Yeah, but...yes.
Wait, how did you
get him in here?
I lied and I snuck him in,
stupidly.
Best dad ever!
I wish my dad ever did
something so sweet like that.
Yeah. I wish I knew my dad.
So awesome that girls
with daddy issues have
such raging party habits
and forward sexual-thinking
attitudes.
Thank you!
I hope you never meet your dad!
I can't get it.
It's not working, Linda.
Just need to get higher.
Maybe we could
keep your mind off it
for a couple minutes.
Whoa, hey, no, no,
I'm okay, hey.
Do you have Snap?
We can add each other!
Well, no, I don't--
well, I have one Snap friend,
but it's my son,
and it's just
to keep tabs on him.
What happened?
Why did we stop?
Wh--Why are we stopping?
Hey! Let's go!
I think they're holding it
for a guy in a wheelchair.
You're being
a little insensitive.
Well, he deserves
to ride the ride
just like anybody else.
-Yeah, I--
-What's your problem?
-No...
-You don't have to yell.
I wasn't yelling
at the wheelchair guy.
-"Wheelchair guy"?
-Ooh.
No, I-I-I, yeah, I'm sorry--
no, here we go,
here, we're going again,
here we go, sorry.
What the fuck?
Are you kidding me?
Hey! Come on, shithead,
let's go!
Hank--Hank, it's another guy
in a wheelchair.
Whoa. There's a lot of 'em.
It is the U.S.
Wheelchair Association?
-Come on.
-Oh, yeah.
I think that they're
sponsored by Rolling Loud.
All part of
Rolling Loud's commitment
to making the world
a better place.
They call it Rolling Proud.
Yeah, that's good,
Rolling Proud.
Thank you for your patience.
It's going to be
about 20 minutes
for the full rotation.
Are you shitting me?
Twenty minutes.
We can kill 20 minutes.
Wait.
Linda! We got him.
I just got a notification.
-You got a signal.
-Linda.
That's here.
He just posted this.
It's right over there.
Let's fuckin' take this shit
somewhere else,
to another dimension.
I need to see
the biggest mosh pit
that you can open up
in this bitch, and...
let's make some fucking noise!
Rolling Loud, baby, let's...
-Oh, shit!
-What's going on?
You have to be legit insane
to be in that mosh pit
right now.
Ski Mask's fans are, like,
high-key mentally ill.
That's exactly
where he posted from, though.
Did he--
I hope your son
knows how to rage.
No, he doesn't know
how to rage.
He's there.
Okay, let's go!
Yeah!
Yeah, replay!
Turn it on!
We gotta get down.
-Hey, hey!
-Oh, my God.
Zion!
You can't do that.
What the fuck is that?
I'm with you, buddy.
I go where you go.
'Scuse me, 'scuse me,
comin' down.
For Zion!
Linda!
Oh, fuck!
-Oh, Hank, save me!
-Hold on, I got you.
Terry, grab her legs!
Come on, Linda, kick!
Go.
Got her! I got her!
Oh, my God.
Do we have insurance?
Nah.
Hank, please!
Look at me, Linda,
I'm pulling you up.
-Hank, hold on!
-Come on!
Use your mom strength!
Mom strength...
Come on!
Are you--are you using
your mom strength?
Yes!
Okay, okay, keep--
keep using it.
I got you, I--
No!
Oh, Jesus.
She's--
I couldn't save her, I tried,
she just--
I had her, and then,
she just slipped!
I told her
I wished she was dead, like,
ten times today.
You didn't mean it, Terry.
Yeah, I did.
It's not your fault.
I'm the one who dropped her.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you killed her.
What?
Oh, that's so much worse
than just wishing
somebody would die.
I feel a lot better.
Thank you.
Okay, now, careful,
the most important thing--
No...no.
-Oof!
-It's okay, it's okay.
No, it's horrible.
Linda! Linda!
-She's alive!
-You're alive!
-But how?
-How, how?
We watched you fall!
Well, after you dropped me...
Ugh...ugh.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
Sure, my legs don't work,
but, you know,
I'm grateful every single day
I still have my dick.
Oh, why?
I need another beer.
Rolling Loud, am I right?
Come on, dude!
Come on, bro!
Zion!
Woo, woo, woo, hey!
He's not even
wearing a ski mask.
Come on, keep looking.
Is this him?
That is a Black guy.
Oh. Yeah.
-You okay?
-Yeah.
-Come on, snap out of it!
-Okay.
Come on, I need you.
I think the Dips
are really kicking in.
Yeah.
Something's happening.
G.D., are you good?
I'm fine. Come on.
-Oh, yeah!
-One, two,
one, two, three!
Zion!
What's going on?
No!
No!
Zion!
Zion!
Hey! Pay attention!
What are you hearing?
Noise, chaos, the N-word,
it's just--
That's a good thing, you know?
It's chaos. It's great.
Think about what it's like
to be a 13-year-old boy,
what it was like
at the Lilith Fair.
This is nothing like
fucking Lilith Fair!
Oh, my God.
You did that on purpose.
No, no, I didn't--
I didn't see her.
I-I just turned
and she was falling.
Come on, stay with me.
-What are you doing?
-Keep your hands off her boobs!
I'm doing a chest compression,
okay?
This is CPR.
Looks like you're
grabbing boobs to me.
Yo, what's going on
down there?
Why they fuckin'
with my set?
Now he's makin' out with her.
I'm doing CPR.
Since when did French kissing
become CPR?
I'm doing mouth-to-mouth.
Since when is CPR
mouth-to-mouth?
That's literally what CPR is.
Why is he rock hard?
Trust me, that's soft.
How can you even see
from there?
Here she is, here she is.
She's alive!
That white dude saved her life!
God damn! My hero!
He deserved that shit.
Okay, we got Security.
Come on, G.D., come on.
Go, watch your back.
'Scuse me, move!
Move! Watch your back.
This gonna be
the craziest night
of the whole weekend!
Light this shit up!
You all right?
Oh...yeah.
Are they chasing us?
No.
Hank, you're on fire.
No, I'm not.
He's on fire!
You're high!
-You're high.
-No! Put him out!
Hank!
-You're on fire!
-Linda, stop!
I'm not on fire.
No, stop it!
There's no water in here!
Yes, and it's not burning.
Aggh! Gentle!
What the hell? Goddammit!
I thought it was water!
No, it's coffee!
You threw hot coffee on me.
Well, hold on,
are you not on fire?
No!
I swear I saw flames!
It's the Lucky Dips.
We're fucking peaking!
Oh, my God, I feel crazy.
Do you not feel
anything yet?
No, I don't feel anything.
I feel like somebody
threw coffee on me,
'cause they just did!
And if this--
Oh, no, not the phone!
Fuck!
Think you got enough?
I'm so sorry, Hank,
I really thought
you were on fire.
I feel like he's upset
about something else.
Shouldn't even
bring up the coffee anymore.
-Don't lose hope, okay?
-We're too late.
No, we're gonna find Zion, man.
It's working.
It's Zion. It's Zion.
Please, please...
No. It's my wife.
Let it go to voicemail.
It's not the time.
No. No, I'm gonna answer it.
-No, Hank, you can't.
-Why?
Because I need
to face the music, okay?
I can't just keep lying.
The lying ends now.
Hello?
-Hi.
-Hi. Listen,
I'm glad you called,
I want to tell you something.
I'm sure I'm overthinking
this...
-Zion--
-...but I'm sitting here
with Jessica,
Cindy Bender's mom,
and she just showed me
this Snapchat post
of Cindy at a concert, saying,
"Hanging with Travis Scott.
Artists only. Rolling Loud?"
And I don't understand
why Zion's tagged in her post.
Because of the algorithms.
Oh, algorithms!
Yeah, I think
it's those algorithms.
Algorithms are worthless.
I searched for vacuums
the other day, and now,
my feed is all just hot singles
who like to clean carpets.
I liked one video
of a guy juggling,
and now, YouTube thinks
I'm looking for
"sexy clowns
juggling their balls."
Yeah, it's from the whole
social media, with AI,
thinking that they know
everything about us,
but then, it makes you wonder,
okay,
if they're getting this wrong,
what else are these robots
getting wrong?
But don't let me bore you.
Here, have a great time.
Oh, but ladies,
I do have to let you know,
I do get my carpet cleaned
every Thursday at lunchtime.
-You're so bad.
-Mm-hm.
Can I have the number?
Dodged a bullet.
Here we go. Listen, I--
What?
What happened
to "The lying ends now"?
I said the lies end soon.
Linda?
Don't make me feel worse
than I already feel, okay?
You don't just go cold turkey
on no lying, okay?
I want to give her
some good news, okay?
And I finally have some.
Someone posted a tag
of Travis Scott and Zion
in the artists-only section.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Brit and Tiff.
-What?
-Brit and Tiff from earlier.
They had the artist-only
lanyards.
-Yeah!
-Oh, God, hope he didn't
have to do what they did
to get 'em.
No, no, I've got--
They Snapchatted me,
we're friends.
Yes! I've got it right here.
"Tiff Likes DILFs"
and "Brit the SUPERFUCK."
-Give me the damn phone.
-Here, go, okay, go.
"Uh, greetings.
It is Hank from earlier
by the Ferris wheel.
Please meet us
by the artist-only entry.
We think we found Zion.
Respectfully...
Hank Goldstone."
What'd they say?
We have to wait,
it has to send.
You think they're gonna respond?
They've got a pretty high score.
They're gonna help us,
they're gonna help us,
we're in, we're in.
Artist-only is all the way
that way.
There's no way
they're gonna let you in.
Security is everywhere,
and you look like you just shot
"2 Girls 1 Cup."
The only way
they're gonna let you in
is with me
and this merch key I stole.
Let's go.
She's got a key!
Put your hands together
for Playboi-fuckin'-Carti!
Come on!
Come on!
Like what?
And what?
Feel like I'm tripping.
Does anybody's hat feel
like it's kinda strangling them?
Huh?
What's goin' on with our boy?
That's the drugs, bud.
Hank...
Melanie?
-Who's he talking to?
-I don't know.
Hey, did you see Zion?
I'm never gonna let you
see him again.
Why?
I sucked off your Grandpa Willie
at the state fair.
Grandpa Willie? Why?
'Cause you're a fainter!
No, I'm not!
You're definitely tripping,
Hank.
You can't put a price tag
on memories you create
with your kids.
It's beautiful!
You were a terrible father.
I wanna take him,
I'm gonna take him.
I'll keep him safe.
He's not going.
I just want to build
a great memory with my son
before it's too late.
-Oh!
-You okay? You good?
Wow! What's in those Lucky Dips?
Oww!
Stop hitting him!
Oww! I said I'm okay! Stop it!
-Well, man, I'm just...
-Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I'm just trying to get in.
You see him?
No.
They're supposed to be here.
Where are they?
God, I can't believe
they stood us up, dude!
Well then, where are they?
Check your phone!
Maybe she texted you.
Okay, thanks.
Check your Snap.
Take off your mask
so they can see us.
A lot of activity...
How we gonna get in there?
We can't.
-But you can.
-How?
Linda, give me
your pepper spray.
-What?
-Gimme your pepper spray,
-come on.
-Okay, okay, here.
Hank, I don't care
what happens to me.
What-what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna create a distraction,
and you're gonna go in there
and you're gonna get your son.
You find him, okay?
But what about you?
Forget about me, I'm a ghost.
-No, Terry--
-Hank, I'm gone.
Terry?
Spit in my hand.
Trust me.
Terry!
I think he's just
going to jerk off.
No, he's an idea man,
he's got this.
You wanna see an idea man?
I'll show you an idea man.
Linda, it's not a competition.
Linda! You--
Did you boys order the salt...
...or the pepper?
-What the fu--
-Oh, yeah! Ow!
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Hey! Fuck-face!
Yeah!
I could do this all day.
Yeah!
Go now, Hank!
Hey, stop!
Get back here!
Go now, Hank! Go!
Find the boy!
Grab her! VIP now!
Hey, get back here!
We got two kids.
Nah, this is the main stage,
yeah, yeah.
All right, have you seen
this kid?
He was supposed to be in here.
-Uh-uh.
-No?
Uh...Pardon me, sir,
have you seen this kid?
He was supposed to be in here.
No.
Are you even sure
he's old enough to be in here?
Oh, yeah, yeah, he's good,
he's 17.
Lyin' motherfucker.
You know, later,
that's gonna be crazy.
'Scuse me.
You guys seen him?
Zion? My son here?
-Are you all right, brother?
-I'm good, I'm good, yeah.
Hold on, lemme see, lemme see.
-Can I get one of these grapes?
-You seen this kid?
He's on the grid?
Man, we ain't seen your son,
bro, but shit,
-hopefully, you find him.
-Thank you.
You sure you don't need
the doctor, brother?
I'm good, I gotta keep
searching for him.
But I'm okay, I'm good.
Wait...wait, excuse me.
Miss--Miss Sexyy?
It's Big Sexyy.
I'm sorry. Big Sexyy.
Wassup?
You wouldn't happen to know
where I could find Travis Scott?
You see, earlier today,
I think my son said
that he was gonna be
with Travis--
No, no, you the guy that
all the security's lookin' for.
-On the big screen.
-You saw that?
Everybody seen that shit.
You jumped off
a Ferris wheel, right?
-That's you?
-No! I-I threw someone
-off a Ferris wheel.
-Okay, that's tight,
that's some gangster shit
right there.
Well, you know...
Agghh!
Goddammit,
what the fuck are you doing?
Why?
Riverside, motherfucker!
What the fuck?
Goddammit!
Bust on it!
Oh, shit, she fuckin'
his ass up.
All right, all right, Keesh,
come on.
Come on, Keesh,
come on, come on.
Let her go!
Get the fuck--get your hands
off of her.
Come on, Keesh,
come on, Keesh.
You're gonna doxy,
you're gonna doxy, my girl.
Whoa!
He better watch his back.
You watch your back.
This motherfucker dropped me!
Aww, hell nah.
It was an accident!
He tried to date-rape me!
I was doing CPR.
I saved your life!
Okay, what--what's your name?
Hank Goldstone.
We just gonna call you Buki.
What is you doing out there
fighting my peoples?
Like, you fightin'
everybody today.
No! I'm not starting fights,
I'm just looking for my son,
okay?
He said he was
with Travis Scott.
I heard that he--
That...was for dropping me.
-Are we even now?
-We're not even!
Okay, all right, okay, okay,
okay, all right, y'all,
that's enough, that's enough.
Now, just calm down,
just hug it out.
-No! I can't--
-Just hug it out.
Hug it out?
Just be the bigger person.
Just hug him. Just be nice.
-Okay.
-Just be nice, Keesh.
-I'm gonna shank you.
-Did you hear that?
Did you hear what she said?
She said
she was gonna shank me.
-I'm not shanking!
-But you ain't...
you ain't wrong for that.
-You shouldn't have played.
-Okay.
But we gonna help you.
-And--and keep cool, okay?
-Okay. Thank you.
Oh, God, my eyes are
on fucking fire!
Can I have something
to wash 'em out, please?
Sure. Here you go.
Oh, my God, thank you.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, that's so much worse!
What is that?
Four Loko.
Okay, can I have something
to actually wipe 'em off,
please? They hurt a lot.
Oh, my God!
Everything is black.
What?
Is that your bush?
Sick, isn't it?
You grew that?
Yeah.
Only took me ten years.
-That's impressive.
-Thank you.
When did you get naked?
Did you miss everything?
He gon' be cool?
Yeah, he cool.
It's over.
Remember what Sexyy Red said.
"Remember what
Sexyy Red said!"
What does "Riverside" mean?
Fuck around and find out.
I did fuck around,
I didn't find out.
That's why I'm asking.
You wanna fuck around again?
No.
All right.
You ain't gotta look so nervous,
today's your lucky day.
He said he gonna talk to you.
Oh! Thank you.
You cool? Need a hug?
-Please.
-Okay. You got this, Buki.
-Stay dangerous.
-Thanks, Big Sexyy.
Come on, Keesh.
Stay dangerous.
All right.
Forward.
Respect. Nice.
Hi, Mr. Scott.
How you doing? Hank Goldstone.
Listen, I am a big fan,
I don't wanna take up
too much of your time.
I've had a little bit
of an emergency where...
Oh. Thanks.
Hey...Travis, I--
Oh. Okay.
Hey, Travis.
Listen, I--my kid--I...
The next guy.
Gotcha.
Since you're a big fan
and all that,
what's your favorite song?
My favorite?
God, that's putting me on
the spot, that's hard to say,
I mean, all your tunes
are poppin'.
I guess I'd say "Fein,"
the live version, I love that.
-All right, let's hear it.
-Right here? Right now?
Yeah, right here and right now.
You gonna give me a beat,
or I'm just gonna do this bitch
a cappella?
Okay.
Hey, yo, fuck this, man,
get this nigga out of here.
No, no, no, hold on,
I didn't even get to the--
okay, wait, wait, wait,
okay, look, I'm sorry, okay?
I-I'm not really a fan, I...
I don't love your music, I...
I don't know it.
But my son loves you,
and I love him
more than anything.
That's why I brought him
to Rolling Loud.
I was trying to, you know,
learn the lyrics to "Fein"
'cause I was gonna
surprise him tonight
during your set,
only I lost him.
Shit. What he look like?
He's like about five foot--
here, I'll show you.
No, no, I'm just gonna
show him a picture.
Nah, nah, he's good.
No, no, I'm just gonna show--
yeah,
he's a good-looking kid,
he takes after his mother.
Why you got so many photos
of chairs in there?
There! There's Zion.
That's him when
he graduated kindergarten.
And here's him with a moustache.
Obviously, it's fake.
That's when he was, like,
nine years old.
But here he is last week,
just lookin' into the camera.
But you can see
he's, like, a good kid.
Uhh...no, I ain't seen no Zion.
Well, could you maybe--
No, not now!
It's my wife.
Hey, man,
you gotta answer that.
That's your bitch, man.
Real.
Okay.
It is my bitch.
Hi, honey.
Hey, hi.
How's everything going?
Oh, it's going pretty good.
Just been watching a movie,
and...
actually,
Zion's a little knackered,
so, he fell asleep, and--
What the fuck?
I'm--I might have dozed off too,
but the movie's so loud,
I woke up.
But enough about me.
How are you doing?
How's-how's-how's girls' night?
It's actually
a little bit of a drag.
These ladies, they're just
talking about their problems
the whole time,
and I don't know,
I just can't follow, honestly,
and...
Tell her you miss
that hot ass, man.
No! I'm not gonna say that!
-What?
-No, no, sorry,
I was just saying that, uh,
that, yeah, that we miss you.
I-I-I wish you were here...
-Say it,
-...and your hot ass.
Well...I miss you, too.
Okay, I'm...
Listen, I'm gonna get out
of here, I think, and, um...
I am really looking forward
to having my boys back.
Me, too.
Hey, good night.
Good night.
What?
Shoulda told her
you loved that hot ass.
I did say it, I said it
right at the end!
Didn't say it.
That's a lot of bush.
Yeah.
Bet I can pick the lock
from here, actually, hold on.
Is that your finger?
I'm trying to pick the lock,
be quiet!
Ooh! To the left.
-Ahh, there it is!
-It's wet!
See, Hank, man,
the way you go to lengths
to go find your kid, man,
that's some real deep shit.
It's like some superhero,
super-father shit.
Like, some 3.141592653979323
type shit.
Some, like, deep shit, man.
Well, I appreciate
you saying that, Travis Scott.
Word.
My wife's gonna divorce me,
child services, you know
they're gonna take Zion,
and I can't blame them,
for losing him,
and I'm probably gonna be
jobless, yeah.
You think I'm gonna keep my job
selling furniture? You're crazy.
Hold on.
Where you work at?
-Raynard and Ferguson.
-Man, what the fuck?
-What?
-Nah.
I fuck with that spot!
What?
Man, yeah, for real, man, I'm--
Okay, you're just saying that.
I'm a Ferga-Ferga fan, man.
Where the fuck do you think
this furniture come from, nigga?
No way!
No, I didn't even notice!
I'm so caught up
in losing Zion,
I didn't even notice.
You've got
the Ironwood Junction table.
And you've got
the Bumbleweave chairs!
God, you guys got it all.
And you got this one,
the Ralston lounger!
I don't wanna toot my own horn,
but I kinda helped create
that thing.
Man, that's some real
rock-star shit, nigga!
Aww, you're puttin' me on.
You're the rock star, but...
I guess it is
pretty comfortable.
Here, try the footrest.
The footrest? Fuck.
That takes it
to the next level.
Yeah. There's a button
on the right side.
Glenn put that in, I told him
he oughta make it more obvious.
-Reach down there. Hit it.
-Oh, shit!
Get ready for liftoff!
-The whole time!
-I know what you're feeling!
You see his face change?
I'm 'bout to make a song
about this shit!
He's gonna be too relaxed
to go on stage.
He was all, like,
curlin' up like this,
and now, he's just
like a little kid.
Hey, yo, real!
Man, get this nigga
whatever the fuck he needs.
-Yeah, I got you.
-Hey, yo.
Make sure y'all find
that kid, too.
Thank you.
I'm gonna find him.
Respect.
Thank you.
Oh, man!
Let's go find him.
Hey! How the fuck
y'all didn't know
about this goddamned button
on the side, nigga?
Guys, it worked, it worked!
We're gonna get Zion.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Rio's taking me to him.
We're all friends now.
It's okay.
-These guys are with you?
-Yeah.
You're goddamn right they are.
They're my idea men.
-Take the cuffs of 'em.
-Yes!
And get some clothes
on this one.
Thank you, thank you.
-Come on.
-Take 'em off, take 'em off.
Yes, take 'em off,
you heard the man.
-Get 'em off of me.
-I'm a fucking volunteer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's go!
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Let's go.
-Yeah.
-Let's go.
- Yeah.
- Let's
-Watch your back.
-Fuck you.
-Sorry.
-Scoot over.
-Move.
-Excuse me.
Move!
We're security.
We will shoot you in the face.
You are not security, psycho.
Wait, there.
Is that him?
-No, that's not him.
-There, there.
That's the least
Zion-looking kid
I've ever seen
in my entire life.
That's him, that's Zion.
Ooh.
What?
I've seen that kid
like 20 times today.
-Moving in now.
-No, no, stop, stop.
He's okay.
-Hold.
-Come in.
This is what you wanted.
Yeah, let him be.
He's having fun.
But he can't even be here.
Hey, the man said let him be.
We're letting him be.
-All good.
-Copy that.
You can't put a price tag
on that, huh?
Hey.
Hey, Travis wants you.
-Follow me.
-What? Huh?
He's fine, he's good.
Come on.
You're going to Travis?
We'll watch him.
No way.
Fuck that shit, let's go!
What's wrong?
Nothin', it's--it's "FE!N,"
it's my favorite song.
You know, it sounds weird,
but I kind of wish
my dad was here for this.
I just kind of wanted
to watch it with him.
I just hope he's not too worried
about me, that's all.
-Sorry.
-No, he's--
he's probably having fun.
Who is that guy?
Is that...
Is that my dad?
I'm feining for more!
Dad!
Zion, wait!
Let's go!
Dad!
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Move. Excuse me, move.
Back up, kid.
That's my best friend up there.
That's my dad!
Dad!
Zion!
What?
Zion!
Oh, my God!
We got him!
We got him!
He's back!
Dad!
We got him!
He wasn't taken by a--
Yeah!
Dad!
Lift me up!
-Dad!
-I got him!
-Dad!
-Yeah!
Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah!
Yeah!
This the motherfuckin' vibe.
Oh, my God.
Yeah!
Whoa!
Dad, are you okay?
Dad, are you okay?
Hey, Dad, are you okay?
Never been better!
Yes!
Yeah, yeah, come on,
get up here, let's go.
Dad.
Dad, I love you so much.
I love you.
I'm glad you had a good time.
And I get not wanting to be
with your dad and running off,
but never,
never fucking do that again.
-Do you understand me?
-Dad, Dad, Dad,
I didn't run off,
I came to find you
where you said you were
and you weren't there.
-No!
-No, no, I got your text.
Look, it said,
"I love you,
but if you need some space,
that's okay."
So, I figured you didn't want
to go mosh with me
'cause you hate this music
so much.
No, that was for your mom,
and the music's growing on me.
Wait, you know the words?
I learned them for you.
I love you, Dad.
Did you just text me,
"I love your hot ass"?
That was for your mom too!
Ew!
Hey!
Zion, meet my good friend Terry
and Linda.
Group hug.
Your dad's an American hero.
Yeah.
He tried to kill
a little person.
-What?
-But he saved her...for you.
He threw me off a Ferris wheel,
but I'm all good.
I did. Uh, who--who's this?
Um, this is my friend Gwen.
Hi, Gwen.
You were awesome up there.
I mean, like,
Zion has the coolest dad.
-Thank you. Did you hear that?
-Yeah, you're right.
His dad's got
the coolest best friend too.
Friends.
Oh, jeez.
Whoa.
Oh.
Is it Mom?
Uh, we gotta go.
-Is it Mom?
-Guys, sorry, yeah, no--
Just one sec, one sec, one sec.
Do you--do you remember when
I told you I love furniture?
-I do, but I gotta go.
-I--I--I lied.
I don't give a fuck
about furniture.
I--I love my dad.
And I just wanted him
to notice me.
-Listen, I gotta go.
-No, I know,
but I don't have to work
that job anymore.
-I can do anything.
-Yeah, you can.
One of those things...
I wanna be the half the dad
that you are someday, man.
What you guys have,
don't lose that.
And I thank you for everything
you've done for me, seriously.
I wish the best for you two.
Thank you.
We gotta go.
Come on, let's go.
Go!
Was that your first kiss?
What happens at Rolling Loud
stays in Rolling Loud.
You can't use my lines.
You--you volunteered
the shit out of that.
-I did?
-Mm-hm.
Really?
I don't even know
if I've ever met--
I love you.
Yes!
Come on, we gotta meet Mom
at the lake house.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-What--what?
-You drive, you gotta drive.
I don't know how to drive.
What do I do?
Okay, I've done everything
for you today,
and I'm fucked up!
-Hurry!
-Okay.
-Hurry.
-Okay.
Here we go.
Now what do I do?
I just put it like this?
Yeah, you've got this.
Show some confidence.
Remember, you're 16 now, right?
You've got
your driver's license,
you've kissed a girl,
and I'm right here,
I'm riding shotgun
just like always, okay?
Okay.
Now wake me up
when we get there.
Dad, Dad, what the fuck?
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
-We gotta get some supplies.
-Okay.
What--what--what does Mom like?
We'll get some granola,
some, uh, bananas, milk.
-Uh, uh--
-Uh, Cheez-Its?
Oreos, Oreos?
Oreos, okay.
I'm almost there.
Can't wait to see you.
Oh no.
She's almost there.
Hurry, faster.
Go, go, go!
Okay, okay.
Wait, hey, stop it!
Go, get back there!
Okay, over!
You're a horrible driver.
Okay, it's my first time.
I don't know what I'm doing.
If anything should happen to me,
if I should just disappear,
if--if the brakes go out
in my car and I go off a cliff,
make sure the authorities
question your mother, okay?
Okay,
that's a red light!
Look out!
Ah, Dad!
Go, get back there!
Dad!
Okay, dude, just stay here.
Stay in here.
Stay behind this.
Right, you got it, yeah.
Dad, your sweatshirt.
-What?
-Hurry.
Oh.
-Hi.
-Hi, Mom.
Hello.
Hey, what's up?
How was your evening?
It was the best night
of my life.
Pretty great.
Did you two do fireworks?
Busted.
Mm-hm.
What are you smiling about?
You look beautiful
and I miss you.
I miss you too.
-Your phone.
-Don't worry about it.
Answer the phone!
No, take it, take it.
Okay.
Can you see me?
All right, listen,
somebody named
Travis something called
and said that he bought
the entire line of recliners
and that you sold him on it.
Unbelievable.
Congratulations, Hank.
And enjoy your raise.
Somebody else
wants to say hi to you.
Good work, Hank.
How do I turn this off?
Red button with an X.
You did that?
How did you do that?
Let me watch it again.
Yeah, watch it again.
Who's Brit the Superfuck?
Most Dope, bitch.
Hey.
I'm high as fuck, yeah,
yes, sir.
Oh, I graduated,
oh yeah, I just graduated
high school.
Ha-ha!
Hey, homie.
Don't be mad
that your girl loves me.
Don't cut anything yet.
It's not my fault. Yeah.
I'm just doin' me.
If your girl love me,
let her love me, you feel me?